—how does one love without scruples or fears or restraints?
pairing: neteyam x fem! kekunan! reader.
summary: this is the last page of the love story of the son of the chief and the daughter of freedom.
author's note: this is inspired by that one phenomenal jo and laurie scene in little women. sorry if haven't opened tumblr in a while because of exams. i also wrote this within an hour. hope it turned out well.
part 1. part 2.
"I love you."
"I won't ever become Tsahik."
"I love you."
"I am incapable of managing a home."
"I love you."
"I despise kids. They are horrendous."
"I love you, and I still want you."
"Neteyam," you said slowly, willing your voice not to quake under his gaze, but because of your effort, his name came out like a warning, a plea for him to stop uttering those dreadful words. You never knew when exactly you had stopped feeling butterflies and began feeling outright dread upon hearing the three words of proclamation of love. "I won't."
"Why?" he asked.
"Aren't you tired of this?" you asked, swiftly changing the topic because you did not want to answer that question. "Asking me over and over again and receiving the same answer?"
"I will never get tired of you," Neteyam said, and he sounded so sure and earnest that you just had to close your eyes and take a big step back, because you were afraid that you'd do something you'd regret. The closer he was, the foggier your brain got, and you needed your brain to think and not succumb to the desire in your heart. It disgusted you far more than anything in the world, the enormity of your desire. You wish to be free from its claws every single day, but it proved only to be difficult because it was Neteyam and how can one not desire Neteyam?
"You soon will be."
He placed his hand over his chest, right above where his heart should be, "This had loved you ever since we were little. I can wait a little longer for you."
"Neteyam–"
"I love you."
"You are the next Olo'eyktan–"
"I love you."
"And you need the right person who is capable of supporting you and strengthening your position."
"You are the right person," Neteyam insisted.
"How am I the right person?"
"You are what I need."
"But am I what the people need?"
"Do not think about them. Only think about us."
"But they need a Tsahik," you reasoned. Or at least, you tried to sound reasonable. "I cannot be Tsahik. You know that. The people need a Tsahik and they have chosen—"
"No, dont."
"—Zekem for you."
"But I choose you," Neteyam stressed. "Not Zekem, you. Only you."
"She is perfect—"
"I love you."
"—and she's beautiful—"
"I love you."
"—she's a great healer and your parents adore her."
"But I love you.
An I love you from his mouth was not powerful enough to change the fact that you could not accept his love.
"Neteyam, love won't bring prosperity to the people," you said, and you ignored the twinge of guilt you felt immediately when you saw Neteyam's ears flatten on the side of his head, and he had avoided your gaze in favor of looking down to the ground. When he began blinking rapidly, you knew then and there that he was trying to stop his tears from falling down his cheeks, a habit of his. When you looked further down and saw his clenched fists, it only confirmed that your suspicion was right.
"So am I supposed to just become unhappy for them, too?" Neteyam whispered. "I sacrificed a lot to become the perfect person to lead them in the future, to become the perfect son they needed me to be. I was selfless, and for the first time, I actually wanted to be happy and now—now—"
"I'm sure you'll be happy with her," you said but you felt like choking on your spit when you said that. There was a petty part within yourself that said I hope you won't, but you shot it down because you had no right to say that.
"I'm going back to my clan anyway," you said, trying to sound cool as you admit the decision you had made five months ago, and Neteyam had looked up so fast that you feared he snapped his neck in half. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.
"What?"
"I'm going back," you admitted. The very reason why you refused Neteyam's attempts at confessing the past three months. "To the Kekunan. My clan. I overstayed my welcome here."
"Wait, what brought this decision—" He was panicking, you could tell. "I thought, I thought you'd stay. Here. With us. With me."
"I do not belong here. I'm not an Omaticaya," you said and that was the truth. But the thing about the truth was that it was harsh and there were people who could not handle it.
"No, you are—"
"I'm not." You adored the Omaticaya clan, really. You were beyond thankful for them, for Jake and Neytiri for housing you when your parents had died during their visit in the clan (if your parents weren't friends with Tsu'tey and Sylwanin, both of whom were dead but owned the couple's utmost respect, you doubt they'd even glance at your situation) the same time the Sky People came back, but you knew that this was not where you belonged. You belonged to the clan of colorful banshee masters, a clan of pride, freedom, and colors, not the spiritual artisans. You belonged to the skies, free and forever unbound, and because of that, you could not become what Neteyam needed. He was destined to lead, not to become yours.
You heard Neteyam take a deep breath, turning his head away from you. You unconsciously reached out to comfort him, until hesitation struck you because what right did you have anyway? So you pulled your hand back and it fell limp by your side. Neteyam saw this, saw your obvious hesitation, and he got your message, so he pivoted on his heels and started walking away.
"And I—"
He quickly stopped and turned around, looking at you. With a nod of his head, he urged you to continue your words, and you fucking hated how this little gesture of his made you feel because after all the suffering and pain you were causing him, he would still come back to you and listen to you and cling onto anything that shares the same shape as hope.
"I don't think I'll ever settle down, Neteyam."
There it was. The acidic words you had been desperately swallowing down your throat. Because as much as you were known for your courage and boldness, you still feared love more than any war or any horrific creature. You feared love more than death itself. And when it presented itself to you, your response was to flee and to utter lies.
He stared at you, long and hard, searching for something in your eyes. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke the gentlest of whispers.
"I think you will."
"No, I won't," you were quick to deny it.
"I think you will love someone. I think you'd have a family, raise your child, only one because you could not handle more, and become the best mother in the world. I think you'd teach your child, a son because that's what you wanted, how to fly and handle a blade. I think you'd love your spouse unconditionally and he would be the luckiest man out there because he gets to come home to you. And then you'd realize that love was never meant to restrain you or cage you, that loving does not require you to give up the freedom you cherish more than anything," Neteyam said. "And I will only watch."
And this was the end of the love story between the son of the Chief and the daughter of freedom.
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TW: DEATH, DEATH OF MAJOR CHARACTER.
Quick short comic. Something thats been eating at me for a while . I was gonna leave it at an actual AU where rock is killed, but it hurt my stomach too much so it was Just A Dream. Too much to think about, though. A) terry did not make it in time to be with rock. Rock was dead before he ever got there. I imagine that would eat at terry for the rest of his life… And B) rock probably was thinking to himself, at least to soothe his nerves, “terry is coming. Terry is going to come get me, its going to be okay.” I imagine rock was cold by the time terry got there .
I love making myself sad!
In terms of it being a dream, though. I imagine terry has a bit of anxiety when it comes to the Death Of A Loved One. Watching Jeff and all that. And, geese! Even though he was getting revenge, its made clear several times that its a pretty sensitive subject for him. I imagine hes very clingy with rock, despite how comfortable he was letting him go with kain. He was “comfortable”, but. Empty nesr syndrome x5000 for sure.
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