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#i like making myself sad
clmfusded24-7 · 2 months
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I saw a video about angel dust getting redeemed and going to heaven and husk being left behind all alone and now I'm spiralling.
yk how husk makes angel drinks before he even asks for it. what if one day husk makes angel a drink and when he sets it on the bar he remembers that angel isn't there anymore
what if he starts spiraling too and ends up ruining any progress he had because he's seeking comfort in gambling and alcohol.
his only way to see angel again is to get redeemed but he's too depressed to do that
he's happy for angel but now he has no one left
and everyone is celebrating angels redemption and he's standing at the bar sad and alone
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browngurl99 · 9 months
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Do you think during post-hidden inventory, Gojo got himself a snack and held out one half of it and suddenly realized no one is standing beside him to share that with.
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viinieroxide · 1 year
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—how does one love without scruples or fears or restraints?
pairing: neteyam x fem! kekunan! reader.
summary: this is the last page of the love story of the son of the chief and the daughter of freedom.
author's note: this is inspired by that one phenomenal jo and laurie scene in little women. sorry if haven't opened tumblr in a while because of exams. i also wrote this within an hour. hope it turned out well.
part 1. part 2.
"I love you."
"I won't ever become Tsahik."
"I love you."
"I am incapable of managing a home."
"I love you."
"I despise kids. They are horrendous."
"I love you, and I still want you."
"Neteyam," you said slowly, willing your voice not to quake under his gaze, but because of your effort, his name came out like a warning, a plea for him to stop uttering those dreadful words. You never knew when exactly you had stopped feeling butterflies and began feeling outright dread upon hearing the three words of proclamation of love. "I won't."
"Why?" he asked. 
"Aren't you tired of this?" you asked, swiftly changing the topic because you did not want to answer that question. "Asking me over and over again and receiving the same answer?"
"I will never get tired of you," Neteyam said, and he sounded so sure and earnest that you just had to close your eyes and take a big step back, because you were afraid that you'd do something you'd regret. The closer he was, the foggier your brain got, and you needed your brain to think and not succumb to the desire in your heart. It disgusted you far more than anything in the world, the enormity of your desire. You wish to be free from its claws every single day, but it proved only to be difficult because it was Neteyam and how can one not desire Neteyam?
"You soon will be."
He placed his hand over his chest, right above where his heart should be, "This had loved you ever since we were little. I can wait a little longer for you."
"Neteyam–"
"I love you."
"You are the next Olo'eyktan–"
"I love you."
"And you need the right person who is capable of supporting you and strengthening your position."
"You are the right person," Neteyam insisted. 
"How am I the right person?"
"You are what I need."
"But am I what the people need?"
"Do not think about them. Only think about us."
"But they need a Tsahik," you reasoned. Or at least, you tried to sound reasonable. "I cannot be Tsahik. You know that. The people need a Tsahik and they have chosen—"
"No, dont."
"—Zekem for you."
"But I choose you," Neteyam stressed. "Not Zekem, you. Only you."
"She is perfect—"
"I love you."
"—and she's beautiful—"
"I love you."
"—she's a great healer and your parents adore her." 
"But I love you.
An I love you from his mouth was not powerful enough to change the fact that you could not accept his love.
"Neteyam, love won't bring prosperity to the people," you said, and you ignored the twinge of guilt you felt immediately when you saw Neteyam's ears flatten on the side of his head, and he had avoided your gaze in favor of looking down to the ground. When he began blinking rapidly, you knew then and there that he was trying to stop his tears from falling down his cheeks, a habit of his. When you looked further down and saw his clenched fists, it only confirmed that your suspicion was right.
"So am I supposed to just become unhappy for them, too?" Neteyam whispered. "I sacrificed a lot to become the perfect person to lead them in the future, to become the perfect son they needed me to be. I was selfless, and for the first time, I actually wanted to be happy and now—now—"
"I'm sure you'll be happy with her," you said but you felt like choking on your spit when you said that. There was a petty part within yourself that said I hope you won't, but you shot it down because you had no right to say that.
"I'm going back to my clan anyway," you said, trying to sound cool as you admit the decision you had made five months ago, and Neteyam had looked up so fast that you feared he snapped his neck in half. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.
"What?"
"I'm going back," you admitted. The very reason why you refused Neteyam's attempts at confessing the past three months. "To the Kekunan. My clan. I overstayed my welcome here."
"Wait, what brought this decision—" He was panicking, you could tell. "I thought, I thought you'd stay. Here. With us. With me."
"I do not belong here. I'm not an Omaticaya," you said and that was the truth. But the thing about the truth was that it was harsh and there were people who could not handle it.
"No, you are—"
"I'm not." You adored the Omaticaya clan, really. You were beyond thankful for them, for Jake and Neytiri for housing you when your parents had died during their visit in the clan (if your parents weren't friends with Tsu'tey and Sylwanin, both of whom were dead but owned the couple's utmost respect, you doubt they'd even glance at your situation) the same time the Sky People came back, but you knew that this was not where you belonged. You belonged to the clan of colorful banshee masters, a clan of pride, freedom, and colors, not the spiritual artisans. You belonged to the skies, free and forever unbound, and because of that, you could not become what Neteyam needed. He was destined to lead, not to become yours. 
You heard Neteyam take a deep breath, turning his head away from you. You unconsciously reached out to comfort him, until hesitation struck you because what right did you have anyway? So you pulled your hand back and it fell limp by your side. Neteyam saw this, saw your obvious hesitation, and he got your message, so he pivoted on his heels and started walking away.
"And I—"
He quickly stopped and turned around, looking at you. With a nod of his head, he urged you to continue your words, and you fucking hated how this little gesture of his made you feel because after all the suffering and pain you were causing him, he would still come back to you and listen to you and cling onto anything that shares the same shape as hope.
"I don't think I'll ever settle down, Neteyam."
There it was. The acidic words you had been desperately swallowing down your throat. Because as much as you were known for your courage and boldness, you still feared love more than any war or any horrific creature. You feared love more than death itself. And when it presented itself to you, your response was to flee and to utter lies.
He stared at you, long and hard, searching for something in your eyes. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke the gentlest of whispers.
"I think you will."
"No, I won't," you were quick to deny it.
"I think you will love someone. I think you'd have a family, raise your child, only one because you could not handle more, and become the best mother in the world. I think you'd teach your child, a son because that's what you wanted, how to fly and handle a blade. I think you'd love your spouse unconditionally and he would be the luckiest man out there because he gets to come home to you. And then you'd realize that love was never meant to restrain you or cage you, that loving does not require you to give up the freedom you cherish more than anything," Neteyam said. "And I will only watch."
And this was the end of the love story between the son of the Chief and the daughter of freedom.
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alof3of9 · 2 months
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TW: DEATH, DEATH OF MAJOR CHARACTER.
Quick short comic. Something thats been eating at me for a while . I was gonna leave it at an actual AU where rock is killed, but it hurt my stomach too much so it was Just A Dream. Too much to think about, though. A) terry did not make it in time to be with rock. Rock was dead before he ever got there. I imagine that would eat at terry for the rest of his life… And B) rock probably was thinking to himself, at least to soothe his nerves, “terry is coming. Terry is going to come get me, its going to be okay.” I imagine rock was cold by the time terry got there .
I love making myself sad!
In terms of it being a dream, though. I imagine terry has a bit of anxiety when it comes to the Death Of A Loved One. Watching Jeff and all that. And, geese! Even though he was getting revenge, its made clear several times that its a pretty sensitive subject for him. I imagine hes very clingy with rock, despite how comfortable he was letting him go with kain. He was “comfortable”, but. Empty nesr syndrome x5000 for sure.
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chai-likes-tea · 5 months
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hc: Monomon once took Quirrel to Blue Lake because she thought it was pretty and wanted him to see it too. He was fascinated by it -- After getting his memory back, he goes to Blue Lake because he remembers it and Monomon, a core memory of his :3
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themistdragon · 6 months
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Of the predictions for the Moonfam getting decoined, I can't decide which would be more heartbreaking:
• Rayla’s parents recognizing Rayla as soon as they see her even though she's all grown up
•Rayla’s parents DON’T recognize her AT ALL until she introduces herself, and her parents lament over not recognizing their daughter 🥲
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odysseys-blood · 7 months
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i think my quick rambling thoughts abt archer and rin (post ubw) should go here for funsies
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youtube
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unhingedsammy · 2 years
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Do you think as a kid Sam saw the way John looked at monsters, and the way he looked at Sam when he was angry was similar. Do you think Sam would know John come in his room in the middle of the night and stare at him for a eerily long time?  Do you think Sam heard John weeping and praying asking why his boy was like this and Sam had to convince himself it was because they argued a lot. Cause if Sam knew he was unclean, what else did he notice.
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revenantghost · 11 months
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Y’know, we know that Vash needs to eat and drink, but I have to wonder if he needs less than the average human, considering it looks like these three were tied up here together and with the same rope. Someone could have just thrown him up there in the middle later, but it’s interesting
Also, we see how easily Vash escapes Meryl’s rope later... Is he letting himself hang there? ):
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bixiaoshi · 2 years
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i shouldn't be listening to atlantis rn
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stay open
#this was taken a couple of years ago by someone very important to me#but who i think i may have irrevocably fucked things up with#which is obviously really sad#but i have definitely been making a lot of personal progress recently#lots of little epiphanies#& i’m just feeling better about things. i really don’t even know how to put it into words#bc it’s not exactly more positive. it’s not exactly calm. it’s not exactly better. but just certain things#i feel more confident in the kindness & love of those who choose to forgive me for my struggles#i feel more confident about surrounding myself with people who accept me for who i am & all i want to be#i feel more confident in things not being as bad as my brain tells me they will be#and that things will always work out for the best#one way or another#so i’m hoping to continue the new year with these thoughts#perfectionism has to go in the bin#in order to allow us the opportunities for things to get better#to make new things#and what is meant to be will be#i’m not normally so much like this ab new years but i think so many things have just come to a head recently#i actually also realised recently I think I’m in my Saturn returns which makes a lot of fuckin sense#which also for the record I’m not normally that kinda gal but my friends are & im just saying….. 👀#but anyway. also love that 1st Jan is a Monday. could we GET a better clean fresh start than that???? LOVE it#wish we could make it like that every year lol#ANYWAY. happy new year to all of you!! i hope you feel content & i hope you have wonderful celebrations#i’m having a nice quiet one which i’m also excited for bc a few other years i’ve chosen to do so have turned out to be the best years. soooo#sending all my love & most cosy comforting happy thoughts to all of you! thankyou for stickin around n always being so sweet to me. ily 🥹💓#ALSO ‘open’ is a rhye song which i’ve always been obsessed with. & so these are lyrics obv. so if u fancy u should go listen & enjoy lol 🎧#me#mine#ur-average-girlnextdoor#still-ur-average-girlnextdoor
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sforzesco · 4 months
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Moreover, Caesar was not satisfied to be over­looked at first by Sulla, who was busy with a multitude of proscriptions, but he came before the people as candidate for the priesthood, although he was not yet much more than a stripling. To this candidacy Sulla secretly opposed himself, and took measures to make Caesar fail in it, and when he was deliberating about putting him to death and some said there was no reason for killing a mere boy like him
Plutarch, Caesar
sulla's fight with caesar is extremely funny, but also very Something considering how much of sulla you see reflected in caesar's later actions. breaking news: grown man picks fight with teenager, more at 11.
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost
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rachelsennot · 4 months
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FELLOW TRAVELERS 1x06 “Beyond Measure”
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actuallyitsstar · 18 days
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grief is not a feeling, but a neighborhood. this is where i come from. everyone i love still lives here. // (insp.)
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priceofreedom · 7 days
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#Elmyra approving of Zack makes me so happy 😭 FF7 Rebirth 20 / ?
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carnivalcarrion · 8 months
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Lights out! Poppy: Ahh I had such a refreshing na- Why is Sally glowing?
LMFAO YEAH. pretty much how it goes...
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