‘What I really wanna say... I can’t define.’ (Flashbomb AU, part 6 of ?)
Part 1: ‘I’m a mirrorball.’
Part 2: ‘This girl is a gun.’
Part 3: ‘You make my earthquake.’
Part 4: ‘Don’t mind me...’
Part 5: ‘I’m feeling like a riot.’
Jinx takes Lux out to dinner and drinks at Jericho’s, and their connection deepens further...
Song inspo for the title is ‘Santeria’ by Sublime, because it’s 100% the kind of song I can imagine playing somewhere like Jericho’s, it’s a total vibe.
TW: drinking, mild sex talk, autistic overwhelm, gay panic - Lux is going through it
(5,114 words)
It was past seven o’clock by the time they arrived at Jericho’s. The restaurant announced itself with a green and red neon sign emblazoned across the front window, and the distinct, lip-smacking aromas of beer and fried food upon entry. According to Jinx, they boasted the best pub food in the under city (not least because they were graced with Ekko as a sous chef), and their music selection had never let her down.
‘Lots of nineties grunge and old school rap, real good shit,’ Jinx had told her back in their room.
***
The second Luxanna agreed to come along, Jinx lit up like a sparkler. Her excitement was adorable and contagious and hadn’t wavered since.
Luxanna tried to imbue herself with that same energy but came up a little lacking. Of course, she was thrilled to even be invited. It meant Jinx liked her, right? Or at least found her tolerable enough to spend more time with. Either way, she figured it was an opportunity she’d be silly to miss.
Wasn’t this all part of the quintessential university experience? Going out, making friends, getting pissed. Trying new things. She would’ve regretted it if she’d said no.
Jinx filled her in on the plan straight away: Jericho’s for dinner and warm-up drinks until Ekko’s shift finished, and then onto the clubs, wherever they wanted. Jinx also stressed that if at any point Luxanna wanted to go home, they’d get her a cab, which made the whole idea a lot more agreeable.
There were few things worse than being trapped outside of her comfort zone, surrounded by people who just didn’t get it. The thought alone made her chest tight. But without prompt, Jinx casually offered an easy way out, like it was the most natural thing in the world for someone to become overwhelmed and need to bail after a while.
For that alone, Luxanna was so surprised and grateful that she almost cried. No one had ever spoken to her like that. No one had ever related to her like that. There was good in Jinx, after all. A lot of it. Luxanna’s heart ballooned.
Having an escape plan in place allowed her to imagine how the night might go. She checked out Jericho’s menu online. The chicken tenders and fries seemed a safe bet. How drunk was she willing to get? Anything more than tipsy was usually a bad idea, but maybe, if she was comfortable and enjoying herself, it wouldn’t matter. The alcohol would help her nerves, too. Best to feel it out as she went, perhaps. If she overthought it, she’d end up too anxious to go, and Jinx was too cute to let down like that.
When the time came to get ready, Luxanna stared into the abyss of her closet. She’d accepted Jinx’s invite without thinking of what she’d wear. Whoops. Jinx’s patience put her so at ease that she’d forgotten how much she hated everything she owned, and now she was stuck in her own personal hell.
‘So, uh…’ How would Jinx say it? ‘What’s the vibe tonight? Like… clothes wise…’
Luxanna turned to face Jinx, hoping her helplessness wasn’t as etched across her face as it felt, but Jinx didn’t notice. Had she even heard the question? Buzzing around the closet on her side, Jinx was in her own little world. Luxanna smiled; she knew the feeling well.
She watched on, as Jinx picked out a black leather skater skirt that she was sure to look great in. Threw it to her bed and fished out a cropped t-shirt. Eyed the two pieces up side by side. Shrugged, as if to say that’ll do, and slipped out of her current clothes without a care. Once again, it seemed she had no boundaries when it came to nudity.
And, once again, there were those fascinating cloud tattoos…
At a glimpse of Jinx’s breasts, Luxanna spun back around, face burning and out of breath. She tried to focus on her own dire situation. Tried to ignore the naked Jinx behind her.
Quite some task.
She scratched at her neck, anxious. Right. She’d have to figure this out for herself.
So, what did Jinx’s outfit choice tell her about the ‘vibe’? It was casual but fun, a little flirty. Decidedly Jinx-esque…
Therein lay her biggest obstacle. Nothing she owned was Luxanna-esque, was it? She didn’t even know what that might look like. How did people just know what to wear and what suited them all the time? It was impossible.
‘Blondie, you good?’ All dressed, Jinx skipped to Luxanna’s side and threw an arm around her shoulder. Studied her worried face. ‘What’s up? You still wanna come, right?’
‘Yeah. Yeah, of course. I just…’
She met Jinx’s pleading, azure blue eyes, and a lump of sickly panic rose in her throat. Their faces were so close that their noses almost touched. Jinx’s sweet perfume crept into her head and lodged there, a smell she’d never forget. Aside from the stain of plum lipstick from earlier in the day, Jinx’s face was bare, not yet made up for the night ahead. Luxanna hadn’t seen her like that before. Exposed, for want of a better word. Without her mask. Jinx’s natural skin was almost translucent, unblemished. Her wide, animated eyes belied a tired map of teal and purple veins underneath.
Eye to eye, Jinx burst into a smile. For the second time that day, Luxanna wondered what it would be like to kiss her.
After the humiliating but admittedly hilarious rubber-gate, Jinx’s hands had lingered on Luxanna’s knees for a few, heart-stopping moments… Luxanna tried to suppress her desire then, yet it continued to stir. Travelled up her spine. Tingled throughout her body.
She shivered and shifted away. Let out an awkward little snicker.
‘You just… what?’ Jinx frowned, folded her arms.
Stood apart, Luxanna took in Jinx’s outfit in all its glory. The cropped t-shirt was acid-washed black, imprinted with the black and white image of a stationary car across the road from a huge ball of fire and empty bottle of petrol, with the words Rage Against the Machine in faded white typewriter font. This time, to Luxanna’s surprise, she was familiar with the band (well, okay, she knew one song of theirs, but still…)
The hem and collar were raw, like Jinx had taken a pair of scissors, cut the fabric into the shape she wanted and left it at that. She’d taken a regular t-shirt and repurposed it into a crop top that exposed her slender, tattooed midriff and hung loosely off her shoulders, revealing a blue bralette underneath. Laced, and a shade deeper than her hair, it was the perfect accompaniment. It was so Jinx, and so, so hot.
Hotter still was the skater skirt which accentuated her small waist, and the thigh-high black suspender stockings she’d paired with it, which were just… wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
Did Jinx have any idea how beautiful she was?
‘You look…’ Luxanna gulped. Bit her lip to stop blurting out a stream of compliments and making things awkward between them.
‘That good, huh?’ Jinx giggled.
Luxanna blushed, but she couldn’t think about her roommate like that. She couldn’t.
Jinx was a girl, for starters.
A girl who low-key reminded her of Catra, her number one favourite character and biggest crush of all time.
A girl who seemed to understand her on a freakishly profound level.
A girl who she’d wanted to kiss at least twice in the last couple of hours.
Oh, gods.
Okay.
She was crushing on Jinx.
Big time.
But Jinx was with Ekko.
Ekko… He’d be with them later, handsome as always. She smiled at the thought of seeing him again. His energy was so different. Soothing, in a sense.
They had a moment, too, didn’t they? That morning, when Jinx passed out in her bed, they sat together on Luxanna’s. Talked a little. Bumped knees. Being so close to him was…
Gods, how was she supposed to cope with them both all night? They were two of the most gorgeous and cool people she’d ever met and neither of them were even single.
At least with both of them there, there wouldn’t be as much pressure on her to engage in the flow of the conversation. They’d probably spend the whole time flirting with each other and barely acknowledge she was there. Didn’t sound half bad.
The best part of going out—well, one of the only good parts, really—was the people watching. That was much harder to do when joined by others who insisted on monopolising attention, but if their attention was already elsewhere, well…
‘Hey, d’you want me to help dress you, blondie?’ Jinx asked, breaking Luxanna from her train of thought.
‘If you’re offering,’ Luxanna snickered with nerves. ‘I, uh… I kinda suck at this, so, yeah.’
‘Pfft!’ Jinx winked, bounced back to her closet, and rifled through it.
As she bent over, Luxanna dropped her eyes to her feet and twitched her toes, refusing to check the girl out any more than she already had.
Was she a pervert? Was it normal to be that attracted to another person?
‘Now,’ Jinx announced, as she pulled out several tops of varying colours, cuts, and fabrics, ‘you’re packing more ass than I could ever dream of, which I mean as the highest of compliments, by the way.’
Luxanna blushed as she continued.
‘So, I can’t help you in the pants or skirt department, but you have something we can work with for that, right?’
‘I have literally no idea,’ she said, out of her depth already.
‘That’s okay,’ Jinx chuckled, taking Luxanna’s uselessness in her stride. Arms tucked behind her back, chest puffed out and head tilted, she looked Luxanna up and down. Her button nose crinkled in concentration. ‘Hmm… I’ll check what you’ve got in your closet, while you have a look at these tops I’ve picked out. Just, uh… just pick whatever calls to you. Listen to your gut.’
‘Sure,’ Luxanna nodded, not sure at all.
As agreed, Jinx began her hunt, while Luxanna loomed over the galaxy bedspread full of options. Listen to your gut. Jinx made it sound so easy, but Luxanna’s gut was screaming.
She closed her eyes. Held her breath. Squeezed her fists and the balls of her feet as tightly as she could. Counted to ten. Released. Opened her eyes.
Okay. They were just clothes. Bits of material. All she had to do was go through one by one and choose the least egregious piece. She did it every day, for goodness sake. They weren’t her clothes this time, but that was the only real difference. She could totally do this.
Half an hour later, after much deliberation, they settled on an outfit for her. Most of Jinx’s tops were either too skimpy or too tight, but something unexpected caught Luxanna’s eye the second she saw it buried in one of Jinx’s drawers.
It was yet to meet Jinx’s scissors, thank gods. The t-shirt was baby blue, and depicted The Smiths album, Hatful of Hollow, one of her all-time favourites to paint to. On top of the poignant design, it was a woman’s size small, which meant it hugged her frame in a way that flattered her chest and skimmed over her curves. She loved it. Could hardly stop gazing at her own reflection.
It was probably baggy on Jinx, she thought, then cursed herself for picturing how cute it would look.
To go with the t-shirt, Jinx selected a pair of simple black jeans. After realising they wore the same shoesize, Jinx also tried to persuade her to try something different on her feet—a pair of Converse or Doc Marten’s, perhaps—but Luxanna stood firm. Sure, her trusty brogues weren’t the trendiest, and maybe they didn’t ‘go’ with the rest of the look, but there was no way she was able to brave a night out without the comfort of those well-trodden soles. Not yet. Maybe never.
The outfit on the whole was a little mismatched, but she didn’t care. Not with that t-shirt on. It felt silly, but she’d never worn something she loved so much, and it wasn’t even hers. Everything about it felt right, like if home were a piece of clothing.
‘So, The Smiths, huh?’ Jinx asked, as she joined Luxanna in front of their floor-length mirror. ‘Good taste, blondie.’
‘I know it isn’t one you picked out for me, but—’
‘No! It’s perfect!’ Jinx beamed, more excited than ever. ‘Okay, now time for make-up!’
She fetched a well-used eyeliner pencil from her bedside table and moved closer to the mirror. Slicked a line of black kohl across one eyelid, then another, before adjusting each side to make them even. With her pinkie finger, she smudged each line out a little with the delicate touch of a pro. As she turned back to Luxanna with a grin, her lids flickered closed.
‘All good?’ She asked, as if Luxanna would have any idea.
‘Uh…’ Luxanna gazed at Jinx’s blackened, smoky lids. Examined them a moment. The look was grungy and pretty and… ‘perfect.’
Jinx smiled at that, pulling Luxanna’s focus to her lips, not yet made up with whatever colour she planned to paint them with next. Luxanna stared, awestruck for what felt like the hundredth time. Only looked away when Jinx opened her eyes.
‘Shall I do you?’
‘Huh…?’
‘Your eyes,’ Jinx teased, and they both collapsed in laughter.
***
At Jericho’s, Jinx led them straight to a corner booth, out of the way from most of the other customers. It was cherry red leather, and criminally comfortable. Luxanna settled in to her little nook, folded her arms around her chest.
‘Alright,’ Jinx leaned on the table and grinned down at her, ‘drink of choice?’
‘Uh…’ What did most girls order in places like this? Wine? Ew, she hated wine. Gin and tonic, maybe? So bitter, though. Ah, what about, ‘vodka lemonade, please.’
‘Hmm,’ Jinx nodded and pulled a face that seemed to say she approved, ‘nice.’
With a twirl of her skirt and a flash of thigh, Jinx bobbed along to the bar to get their drinks. Alone, Luxanna scanned the area. It was relatively early, so most of the tables were empty. Phew. The less people, the better. She picked at the skin around her thumb until it started to hurt. Cracked her knuckles. Peered upwards.
The interior was pretty cool, actually. Great big wooden beams sprawled across the ceiling, adorned with dozens upon dozens of beer mats, novelty bottle openers and other such guff. Each exposed-brick wall was spattered with similar memorabilia, alongside paintings of streets and landscapes, old clocks which had long stopped ticking, and, in the corner furthest from their booth, a well-loved darts board.
As she stared at the bullseye and encircling red and black segments, the chime of a familiar tune crept upon her. The music hadn’t registered with her before, but she knew this one. She couldn’t recall the song’s title, but the band was Sublime.
Garen and his friends used to listen to them all the time, back in his rebellious teen phase. She’d eavesdrop through her bedroom window as they wiled away the hours, blasting tunes and smoking weed in the garden when their parents were at work over the summer holiday, and wondered if she’d ever have friends to break the rules with like that. Life was so different back then. The bittersweet nostalgia warmed her bones. To that day, she couldn’t catch a whiff of a joint without thinking of her brother.
Jinx returned with a spring in her step and two identical drinks; clear, carbonated, each decorated with a slice of lemon and a pink and white candy-striped straw. Had Jinx copied her, or…?
‘It was two for one!’ Jinx exclaimed as she plonked herself down in the space opposite and slid one of the brimming beverages across the table. ‘Jeri’s a total G for hooking us up,’ she trilled.
A G…?
Jinx’s eyes were on Luxanna straight away, gazing with intensity. Well, everything about Jinx was like that, wasn’t it? Intense. Vibrant. In your face, whether you liked it or not.
As Luxanna reached for her drink, their fingers made fleeting contact. Jinx’s skin was cold but silky soft. She had a smiley face with crossed out eyes tattooed on the bridge of her right thumb, and her nails, most of which were chipped, were painted in a mismatched pattern of powder blue and bubble-gum pink.
Did everything about this girl have to be attractive? Seriously?
Nervous sweat beaded above Luxanna’s upper lip. She took her first sip. The drink was refreshingly cold and sweet, with the light twang of the vodka at the end. Thankfully, she’d chosen well.
‘So, Lux…’ Jinx smirked as she whirled the straw around in circles, clinking the ice cubes against the glass.
Had she noticed all that prolonged staring? Oh, gods.
‘It’s Luxanna,’ Luxanna corrected, out of habit more than annoyance. Sipped some more. ‘You know, you and Ekko always call me Lux, but I much prefer Luxanna.’
‘You don’t like Lux?’ Jinx asked, then polished off at least a quarter of her drink in one go. ‘Why not?’
‘It’s just… not my name,’ Luxanna shrugged. ‘It’d be like me calling you Jinxanna.’
‘Ha!’ Jinx guffawed. ‘So, what, no one back home ever called you Lux? Luxie? Nothing?’
‘Not really, no,’ she said. ‘Nicknames aren’t really a thing in Demacia. Everyone’s too serious for that.’
‘Dude, what the fuck? That’s so boring!’
‘Yep…’
‘Lux suits you way better.’
‘You think so?’
‘Hell yeah!’ Jinx exclaimed. ‘Come on, blondie. Lemme call ya Lux, okay? I won’t abuse the privilege, I promise.’
She definitely would, but far be it from Luxanna—Lux—to argue.
‘Fine.’
Lux rolled her eyes in defeat. She didn’t even hate the name that much when it came from Jinx.
She wasn’t sure she could’ve hated anything Jinx said. Not in that moment, and certainly not with the vodka warming through her.
‘I do have a question for you, though,’ she followed up.
‘Fire away.’
‘What’s a G?’ Lux asked. ‘I’m assuming you didn’t just mean the letter… Is it a Zaunite term? I’ve never heard it before.’
‘It’s slang, you know, like…’ Jinx paused to take a drink. ‘Mm…’ She swallowed, eager to keep talking. ‘Like, he’s a god, a genius, an all ‘round good guy… a G!’
‘A G…’ Lux nodded. Absorbed the new term into her vocabulary to use later. Took another sip.
‘Yep!’ Jinx chuckled. ‘Oh, they only had Sprite. That’s okay, right?’
‘Of course,’ Lux assured her. ‘Lemonade is lemonade.’
‘Wait, wait, wait!’ Jinx leant forward, mouth agog. ‘Sprite and lemonade are the same to you?’
‘…they’re not the same to you?’ Lux replied, now equally as baffled.
‘Well, no,’ Jinx said. Drank some more. ‘Lemonade’s like… sweetened lemon juice, kinda? And it’s real cloudy, too. You never made it as a kid?’
‘Nope. Can’t say I did.’
‘So weird,’ Jinx said. ‘We used to make it all the time. We’d try to sell it, but it always tasted like shit. Never enough sugar, and I’m pretty sure the lemons we used were, like, seriously underripe!’ She laughed at the memory, and Lux found herself beaming back, spellbound.
‘But then, uh…’ Jinx’s face fell as she continued. ‘Then things changed, so… No more lemonade. Heh.’
She drank some more. Half her drink was already gone, and Lux had barely had two sips.
‘Whatever.’ Jinx shrugged off the memory and resumed her striking smile. Propped her chin up with a fist, as the other hand remained occupied by the straw. ‘So, Demacia doesn’t have real lemonade, huh? First no nicknames, now this…’ It was like she was talking to herself, but she definitely wasn’t. ‘What else is different there?’
‘Well, let’s see, um—’
‘Is there pizza!?’ Jinx’s eyes sparkled, vitalised by whatever Lux was about to say.
‘Of course!’ She cackled, tickled by the question and how sincerely Jinx had asked. ‘Why wouldn’t there be pizza?’
‘Fuck if I know,’ Jinx snickered. Grabbed a menu from—
Oh. Lux hadn’t noticed, but there was a grooved wooden stand with two menu booklets slotted into it sitting on the table’s inner flank. On closer look, their table number was engraved in the wood.
Lux’s jaw dropped; Jinx had seated them at table sixty-nine.
‘What is it, blondie?’ She smirked, reading Lux’s face like a damn book. ‘Not a prude, are ya?’
‘Wh—? No.’
‘Really?’ Jinx tutted, shook her head. ‘You’re making me wonder.’
‘Wonder what?’ Lux’s voice cracked and she blushed beetroot red.
Jinx didn’t reply. Finished off her drink instead.
‘Anyway,’ she sat back, slouched into the sofa cushion, ‘I’m getting pizza. You?’
To Lux’s chagrin, it seemed Jinx had no plan to elaborate upon what she was wondering. She didn’t want to be grilled about anything sexual—not while she was still relatively sober, anyway—but she couldn’t take the ambiguity. Now that Jinx had started, Lux needed her to see it through, or it would bug her all night.
‘Sorry, um… Wonder what, Jinx?’ Lux gently pressed. Took another swig of her drink by means of a distraction.
Jinx cocked a brow. ‘You really wanna know?’
‘I have to,’ she said. ‘The suspense is killing me.’
‘Okay, blondie,’ Jinx grinned and straightened herself back up. ‘Well, I mean this with no judgment, or whatever, but… are you a virgin?’
‘What?’ She squeaked. ‘No.’
‘It’s okay if you are,’ Jinx said. Why didn’t she believe her? ‘We’re young, you know. Tonnes of people don’t have sex before they get to college. It’s totally normal.’
‘Jinx, I’m twenty-one,’ she asserted. ‘I’m not that young, and I’m definitely not a virgin.’ More alcohol. She suddenly wanted to blackout.
‘Sheesh, you’re older than me?’ Jinx went doe eyed, and the cutest little smile dimpled her cheeks. ‘Why’d you suspend your studies?’
‘Oh…’ Lux shrunk down a little. Rubbed her palms together as she pondered how to keep things vague, but honest. ‘Let’s just say I, uh… had a rough few years…’
‘Heh, same,’ Jinx shrugged. ‘Life, amirite?’
Her nonchalance towards Lux’s issues was soothing. Most people would’ve laid on an act of phony sympathy and pried further until Lux imploded. But not Jinx.
‘When’s your birthday?’ Jinx piped up.
‘The fifteenth of May,’ Lux said. ‘Why?’
‘Ah, a Taurus, huh?’
‘Yeah, I guess,’ she said. ‘I don’t really know about star signs.’
‘Oh, I have no idea what any of it’s supposed to mean,’ Jinx clarified with a short giggle. ‘It’s just cute to me, you know, assigning all these traits and shit based on nothing but when we’re born. Like, we all pop out of the womb as blank slates, right? Then astrology comes along and says, “well, you were born at nine, so your moon is Cancer rising, and your heart’s a turtle,” or… whatever the fuck it says. And people just accept it like, “yes, my heart indeed is a turtle.” You know? I mean, how fucking cute is that?’
‘Well, when you put it that way,’ Lux grinned. ‘It is pretty cute.’ You’re pretty cute, she wanted to say.
Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but she couldn’t help it. Jinx’s company was ten times more intoxicating than the vodka.
They talked back and forth for a while, with Jinx leading and Lux falling in line, happy to answer her questions. Jinx asked more about Demacia and High Silvermere, and how Zaun differed. She asked about the pizza, the food and drink in general, the customs and traditions, the night life, the music scene. There were a few things Lux didn’t know, but she answered what she could. Jinx assured her anything she didn’t know could simply be looked up later. No big deal.
Being around Jinx, nothing much felt like a big deal at all. Lux even ordered her food and their second round of drinks without getting flustered and stumbling over her words. Something about Jinx’s presence relaxed her in a way she’d never experienced.
That, in itself, was a very big deal.
Their food arrived, and it was as good as Jinx promised. Lux savoured every bite, and Jinx practically inhaled her pizza, but was careful to put a few slices aside for Ekko to enjoy later.
‘Sharing is caring,’ she winked, after persuading Lux to try some, too.
A waiter came to collect their plates, and they ordered a third round. Double vodka Sprite for Jinx, and a single for Lux. Jinx didn’t seem fussed, but Lux was grateful to have lined her stomach with a proper meal before any serious drinking went down.
‘So,’ Lux began, as Jinx made short work of that double, ‘what, uh… what was all that about today, anyway? You had a work lunch, or something? What’s your job? Ekko made it sound so serious, but—’
‘Yeah well,’ Jinx interrupted. Her whole body tensed. ‘Ekko’s a total drama queen.’ She tried to shrug it off like she did everything else, but it was obvious that something was bugging her.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve asked.’ Lux’s urge to pick at her thumb in distress manifested in a huge gulp of her drink. This one seemed to go down easier than the previous two.
Jinx drank, too, and they rode out their first uncomfortable silence of the evening.
‘Okay, look,’ Jinx said, finally relieving the tension. ‘The thing is, I work for a guy who… well, he’s kinda like my pseudo-father and my boss, all rolled into one horrific, nagging mass, you know?’
‘Lovely,’ Lux jibed. Some irrational part of her already loathed this man more than anyone she’d ever known.
‘Right?’ Jinx snickered in a way that seemed to say she felt understood. Seen. Shook her head in dismay. ‘I don’t know, he just… he always knows exactly what to say to get into my head.’
‘And he did that today, I’m guessing?’
‘Yup.’ Jinx’s face hollowed out.
Maybe it was the vodka, but Lux felt a desperate pull to embrace the girl before her. To try and make everything okay. To bring that radiant, infectious grin back to her now sullen face. Instead of a hug, she reached a hand towards Jinx’s.
Jinx made no effort to pull away. Allowed Lux’s fingers to curl around hers. They smiled at each other, warm and open, as Lux glided her thumb across Jinx’s knuckles, over her smiley face tattoo.
It wasn’t the same jolt of electricity she’d gotten the first time. This touch was on purpose, and all the more intense. She didn’t want to stop. Lingered a few moments longer than she meant to.
Jinx lingered, too. Studied Lux’s hand, then her face.
In a wave of panic, Lux let go. Downed more alcohol. Jinx needed a friend right now, not some sexually confused weirdo. Friends. They were just friends, for gods’ sake. Friends and roommates and nothing else.
***
The hours passed in what felt like minutes. The once empty tables around them filled with people, the music grew louder, and Lux’s senses blurred as her intoxication settled in. She needed her bed and a cool glass of water, but Jinx’s company was too good to leave.
Soon, Ekko’s shift was over, and he joined them at their table. Enveloped Jinx in a bear hug which left her ginning ear to ear. They ordered one last round of drinks, and Ekko scarfed the leftover pizza.
With Ekko in the mix, the vibe changed. Jinx no longer stared at Lux unabashedly, bombarding her with questions. Instead, she slumped over Ekko, invading his space like a cat. She leant her head on his shoulder, linked her arm through his, played with the titanium ring on his pointer finger, sipped her drink every now and then, and barely said two words. It was like Jinx was playing a social relay, and she’d passed the baton to Ekko. It was his turn, and all she needed to do was sit back, listen, and observe.
Lux understood. One on one conversation, especially with a relative stranger, was intense. She supposed even someone as outwardly confident as Jinx needed a break sometimes. So, she understood. She didn’t like the lack of attention from her newfound friend, but she understood. It left her cold and restless and confused, and if she was alone, she would’ve burst into tears, but just like always, she understood.
She smiled. Yawned. Said something about how cute they were together. Scratched at her legs through her jeans. Yawned some more. Played with the ice in her drink. Looked anywhere but right at them. Fidgeted with her hair, her nails, the napkins on the table. Tried to breathe as normally as possible. Kept yawning.
‘So, Lux,’ Ekko beamed at her. ‘Pretty cool place, huh?
‘Hmm?’
‘The restaurant,’ he said. ‘Cool, right?’
‘Oh,’ she said, no longer able to eke out a convincing smile. ‘Yeah. Very.’
As much as Lux wanted to, she couldn’t engage with Ekko’s small talk. Not there. Not then. Not with the music and the people and the smells coming from the pizza oil congealing on Jinx and Ekko’s shared plate and the beads of condensation on her glass and the swing of the front door opening and closing and the friends playing darts in her periphery and all that guff on the walls and the ceiling and the lights hurting her eyes and wow the music was so loud and—
Her head spun. She cupped her hands over her ears and huddled her face between her elbows, creating a barrier between herself and everything else.
‘L… Lux…?’ Ekko asked tentatively.
‘Okay,’ Jinx sighed. ‘Home time for blondie.’
Sometime after midnight, Lux followed the couple out of Jericho’s and onto the street. They hailed her a cab, hugged her goodnight, and she waved them off. Arm in arm and in step with each other, they slinked away to wherever they were going next.
Alone and nauseated at the back of the taxi, she cursed herself for having to quit the night so early. Dwelled on that parting image of Jinx and Ekko.
They were totally in sync. Totally apart from her.
Maybe in the morning she’d try to capture the moment in a painting. She could turn it into something beautiful, rather than let it fester and add to the discomfort in her chest.
Yes. As soon as she could, she’d crack open her new oil paints and brushes, prepare a fresh canvas, and get to work.
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