#i like the kid but... this was never gonna last | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princessbrunette · 1 day

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thinking about bunny being in a slightly difficult mood, grumpy, huffing and stomping her foot around tannyhill. rafe’s trying to let her have her temper tantrum since they’re a rare occurrence. but after a few hours of her sour mood not letting up, he manhandles her rove this lap to put in her bunny plug and finger her till she cries and he’s cooing at her about how “only dad can fix that little attitude huh, bun?”

oh my god??????

(⑅◞ ִ ◟⑅) · ˚ 𓈒 🎀 ྀི 🌸 ♡

he can handle the grumpiness, stomping around in little heels and huffing at minor inconveniences. sour moods never last too long with you, so having to deal with you isn’t exactly something that concerns him. however, he is a little surprised to learn that after a few hours — you’re carrying that same amount of aggression, manicured nails digging into your palm as you storm around with clenched fists, shrugging carelessly to whatever rafe asks you and bottom lip permanently jutted into a pout.

the final straw is when you go to pull your shirt from your dresser where it was folded, tugging a little too hard and hearing a tear. usually, this wouldn’t bother you. you knew deep down that it was no biggie to get something like that fixed, and rafe would never let you walk around with holes in your clothes — but the simple act of it happening sent you over the edge, screaming at the top of your lungs and repeatedly beating the shirt on the dresser, kicking your kitten-heeled feet against the wood of it until the heavy footsteps of your boyfriend had arrived behind you.

“the fuck is —” he cuts himself off, seeing the scene before him, taking in the dramatics before instantly doing what he knew should have done hours ago. in seemingly one quick movement, rafe yanks you by the arm out the way while opening the drawer and pulling out the clean bunny buttplug just waiting for usage. “alright, alright — alright!” he yells over your fussing until it was just broken whines and cries, the boy forcing you over his lap on the bed.

“its broken—” you go to yell once more as rafe yanks up your skirt, but he cuts you off quickly — asserting his dominance in hopes you’ll simply relax.

“lower your voice kid, won’t ask you again.” he commands sternly, and luckily you don’t bother again, sucking in short breaths and sniffling into the bedsheets as he works your panties off completely, knowing you won’t be needing them anymore.

you groan when rafe slots his hand beneath your throat and lifts your head with his grip, bending as much as he can to crane over you and hold the plug to your mouth. “c’mon. get it wet. don’t waste my time.” he taps your bottom lip and you sniffle, drooling until not only the metal was coated but his fingers were too from the run off. “shit, crazy girl.” he tsks as he leans back, touching the tip of it to your puckered hole. “you’re gonna calm the hell down. alright? once this is in you’re gonna chill out. i know you need me to fix that little attitude, okay i know. but you gotta use your words and not freak out on me. daddy can’t help you otherwise. yeah?” he talks to you as he pushes it in, feeling relief in the way your body melts on his lap, still sucking in harsh breaths but slower.

“yeah.” you repeat, knowing you had to say something but your brain was in melting mode, not capable of thinking of much else.

“alright. good. now, look at me — m’gonna ask you something n’i want an answer.” he demands, slowly helping your trembling body to stand between his legs. you clutch his white shirt in your fists, grounding yourself as your tearful eyes flicker over his face. you make a noise of acknowledgment so that he can continue. “what do you want? i— i can’t fix it for you baby ‘cos i don’t know what it is.” he flings out an arm, gesturing the shirt you left strewn on the floor. “is it that? do you want me to look at that? do you need a nap? food?” he shakes his head in exasperation, wide eyes searching yours with parted lips like he was really trying to figure you out.

you sniffle, shuffling on your feet as you stand inbetween his legs, his arm around your lower back keeping you leaning on him — and you’re not saying anything. he blinks, before speaking once more. “its dick. you want dick, huh?”

you didn’t know you did. truthfully, you’d been in a god awful mood all day, feeling like everything was going wrong — and in that moment things became just a little clearer as to why that might be. rafe hadn’t fucked you all week, you’d been out and about doing your own things — which is normal and okay in every relationship — just not in yours. you needed rafe to remind you who’s boss, because you didn’t wanna have to think anymore.

“please.” you nod, fiddling with his shirt button and the hand around your back slides down to beneath your skirt, tugging at the tail before massaging his fingers over your empty hole, feeling the way it gets sticky around him.

“hm. i should’a known.” he drawls, eyeing over you before plucking at your clothes. “gotta take this off, yeah? lemme see you.”

(⑅◞ ִ ◟⑅) · ˚ 𓈒 🎀 ྀི 🌸 ♡

#anon #rafe cameron prompt #bunny!reader

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l0vergirlwrites · 2 days

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gulity as sin ; eddie munson

synopsis: since eddie joined your friend group, you’ve fallen for him. but sometimes the feelings you’ve harboured for him make you feel guilty—but he’s just too dreamy, so how could anyone blame you?

warnings: sexual innuendos, mentions of weed & alcohol & partying, mentions of sexual thoughts, downbad!reader & eddie, love confession & makeout!!!!

note: i just had to get this out of my system but i’ll write my next ttpd fic based on the winning things on the polls don’t worry!!

“just so you know, you’re staring at eddie like you wanna fuck him” robin whispered in your ear as she came to your side with extra vcr tapes to stack near the back of the store.

“jesus! am i really?” you asked in a hushed whisper, face crowing warm with embarrassment. you couldn’t help it when eddie just looked so good as he leaned on the front counter talking to steve.

while you mentally face palmed yourself, robin gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “just a little bit”

peeking back over her shoulder at eddie to make sure he wasn’t looking at you (because you’re anxious & paranoid), you let out a breath of relief. “you think he noticed?”

she laughed “i hope not”

letting out a quiet gasp, you shoved robin’s shoulder “thanks for the vote of confidence, rob” you said sarcastically.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!—but seriously…” she paused for moment to create dramatic effect. “when are you gonna fess up & tell him how you feel?”

the big question.

with a big sigh, you shook your head in retreat. “probably never. it’s just some stupid crush—& besides, we’re just friends. i don’t know if he’d like me like that, rob.” you said while getting back to work, trying to get the image of eddie’s ring clad hands out of your mind so you could focus.

“is that really how you feel? or is your fear of rejection speaking for you?”

narrowing your eyes at her, you rolled your eyes knowing she was kidding (but was she? were you really hiding behind a guise so you wouldn’t get hurt?).

“you know,” she paused to look at eddie. “if he doesn’t want to jump your bones, i’d be floored” she said cheekily, causing you to nudge her rib cage.

“he doesn’t” you stated, but in your mind you hated the thought of it.

“if that’s what’ll help you sleep at night” she chided before moving onto a different shelf, the open space letting your eyes drift back to eddie, only to find that he was looking right at you.

“you coming to the party by reefer rick’s place on the weekend? i convinced stevie boy here to tag along—“

“—& to be the DD. i don’t know how i got roped into this” steve cut eddie off with an exasperated expression.

with the spotlight (eddie’s eyes) on you, you couldn’t help but feel stuck in place & your mind was running a million miles a minute.

clearing your throat, you nodded. “yeah sure! i should be able to if keith doesn’t make me come in last minute”

the last sentence caused eddie to roll his eyes.

“who cares about what keith says—you’re coming & you’re gonna have fun! you’re deserving of blowing off some steam, right?” eddie said convincingly.

“he’s right! fuck keith & his stupid last minute shift calls“ robin agreed with steve soon following suit.

jokingly with your hands up in surrender, you finally agreed. “maybe you guys are right…”

“of course we are, babe!”

the pet name eddie called you made your stomach flip in six directions, your face growing warm until steve beat you to speak.

“when the hell did ‘babe’ get into your vocabulary, munson?” he asked eddie with a quizzical eye.

“oh calm your tits harrington—“

“hey man, i don’t have tits & i am calm so shut—“

“hey!” you yelled, shutting them both up. “no bickering on my watch, idiots” you pointed to them both, causing eddie to place his right hand in his heart in apology.

“what do you expect,” robin chimed in. “they’re five year olds”

you both laughed a bit at her comment while the guys just rolled their eyes.

“well, i’m gonna head out & prep for my next campaign. butttt, i’ll see you geeks saturday?” he asked while twirling his van keys around his index finger.

before steve could try to rebuttle against eddie about him calling you all “geeks”, you beat him to it.

“yes—we’ll be there! bye eds” you waved sweetly, your hand flattering when eddie shot you a wink before heading out the door.

as the glass door chimed & shut after his departure, you immediately turned to robin.

“he winked at me!” you mouthed to her with excitement.

“are you guys secretly talking without including me, again?”

turning to steve, you gave him an apologetic look. “she was just fawning over how eddie winked at her” robin said with a nonchalant smile, causing you to gasp.

“robin—“

“why do you care if he—wait… ohhh… that makes sense” he lit up like a light bulb, going back to checking through the return log on the computer.

you stood there stumped at his reaction.

“is me liking eddie predictable?” you asked aloud, causing steve & robin to share a glance.

“yes” they said collectively, leaving you to sigh & turn back to the shelf to finish stacking the pile of tapes.

**~*~**~*~*~**~*~~*~**~*~*~~***~*

it was now saturday, & you were on speaker phone with robin as you were getting ready for the party.

you had decided to wear a short flowy black skirt, fishnet tights, your favourite black boots, & a dark green babytee with your favourite band on it. it was simple, but cute (& you secretly hoped eddie would think the tights were a nice touch).

“do you think you’ll tell eddie how you feel once you get some liquid courage in you?” she asked genuinely.

with a thoughtful sigh, you stopped applying blush to your right cheek. “gosh, rob—i don’t know. i don’t think it’s a good idea”.

you could tell she was shaking her head from the other side of the phone.

“remember when i was too afraid to tell vicky i liked her?”

you knew what she was gonna say. “yes, i do”

“so, you remember how you told me i should just ‘go for it! do it before it’s too late—what’s the worst that could happen?’, right?”

you slumped in your desk chair, fidgeting with your makeup brush. “yes…”

“sooo, you gotta practice what you preach—tell him before you regret it!” she encouraged, but still, you were horrified to.

“what if—“

she shushed you. “no what ifs. don’t do that to yourself—just be honest when the right moment comes along”

staying silent for a moment, you thought it over in your head before coming to a conclusion.

“maybe you are right, robin”

“i’m always right—regardless of what steve says” her words made you laugh, relieving you of a little stress.

**~*~*~~~*~***~*~**~**~*~*~~*

it was now nine-thirty on the dot & you could hear steve’s beamer honking from your driveway, signalling that it’s time to go. as soon as you stepped onto your driveway, you were met with hollers & whistles from your friends in the car—including eddie.

as soon as you saw him with his head out the window, whistling & vocally saying “shit y/n, looking good!”, you could’ve sworn you were going to collapse then & there.

shushing them before their hyper annoyed your neighbours, you (coincidentally) got into the backseat with eddie.

“you have everything?” steve asked before reversing the car.

“yes, dad” you joked before a silver flask was shoved into your lap.

“got you your favourite” eddie told you with a smile, causing you to audibly “awe” & thank him before taking a swing from it.

despite steve having a fancy car, the backseat was surprisingly small, so you knew it was going to be a long night with how your thigh is already pressed into eddie’s & his fingers were tapping his jean clad thigh dangerously close to your exposed one.

you caught him every now & then staring at your tights too, which didn’t help the fantasies brewing in your mind of him taking them off you.

“you excited?” you asked him while steve & robin were caught in their own conversation.

swiping his tongue across his teeth, he looked at you with a gaze that made your stomach tighten. “as long as you stick close by, then yeah i’m excited” he nudged you gently, allowing you a moment to process what he just fucking said.

tucking your hair behind your ears (a sign that you were nervous & liked him & were going insane), you let the conversation drift into comfortable silence as steve turned the radio up.

thank god for that.

**~*~~**~**~***~**~*~~**~**~*

the party eddie brought you guys to was packed at some random house on lover’s lake.

& it reeked of pot & beer, which was normal & expected.

with the flask eddie gave you in your right hand & eddie’s hand in your other (because the front lawn was packed & he didn’t want to lose you), your group maneuvered your way inside to disco party lights, sweaty bodies, more pot & more beer.

your grip on eddie’s hand was taut as you continued sliding past more & more people while muttering “excuse me, sorry!” over & over until you guys arrived on the dance floor.

“do you want anything?” eddie leaned down & whispered into your ear so you could hear over the music.

you took a second to answer because of how warm his breath felt against your skin. “no i’m okay, i got this remember?” you said with a smile, holding up the flask he gave you.

returning you a smile, eddie let go of your hand because robin was pulling you to dance a little.

“be back in five!” eddie mouthed to you, holding up five fingers & looking at you until you waved in acknowledgment.

“okay there’s no way he doesn’t want you” robin yelled into your ear as the song changed & people roared happily.

laughing & shaking your head, you disagreed.

“cmon! let’s just dance, yeah? destress!” steve yelled to you both before bopping his head to the music, causing you & robin to look at each other before laughing & join in.

the more songs played & the more you swing back eddie’s flask, you could feel yourself letting loose a little—possibly even making you feel courageous.

so much so that when eddie returned with a red solo cup with some sort of drink, you slung your arm around his middle for a quick hug.

“missed me?” he yelled in your ear.

“just maybe” you replied, feeling his right hand rub your arm up & down before fetching a joint from his pocket.

“missed me more now?” he asked again, laughing when you nodded your head, eyes glassy from the smoke in the room that was building.

“outside?” he yelled again, & you were the only one that agreed.

*~*~*~~*~~*~*~~**~***~*

departing from steve & robin to go smoke, eddie grabbed your hand once again & kept you close as you both made your way to the back porch that outlooked onto the water.

the backyard was still filled with people, especially jocks who were doing dumb keg games, but you didn’t mind. with your back against the siding of the house & eddie in front of you, caging you in, all you saw was him.

& god he looked hot. his hair was a bit frizzy, but his leather jacket managed to showcase his muscular arms & his slightly cropped band tee allowed you to see the happy trail on his abdomen.

it took everything in your power not to fold then & there.

“you want the first hit?” eddie asked as passed you his drink & pulled his lighter out of his pocket.

with a simple nod, you placed the joint between your lipstick covered lips & leaned forward for eddie to light the end of it for you. the action felt extremely intimate & already hand your skin tingling.

with the joint slotted between your fingers, you took a few hits & relished in the buzzed feeling it already gave you. & knowing eddie & is interest in pot, you knew whatever was wrapped within the joint was the good shit.

while you were taking your hits, eddie was reminding himself to not get hard at the thought of your lipstick rubbing off onto the joint or how you looked pretty with smoke exhaling from your mouth—he could feel his pants start to feel the tiniest bit tight at his view of you.

when you handed the joint to him, eddie stood beside you on the wall & took his time (possibly so you could look at him a little longer?).

& you didn’t care because he just looked too perfect with his head tilted up, the veins in his neck showing in the porch light, the joint rested between his ring clad fingers—you could already imagine yourself getting off to this image of him later—but you reminded yourself to stay cool.

everything was fine! you guys were just friends!

“you feeling okay?” eddie asked, turning to you who was already giving him soft doe eyes.

“better than okay” you smiled, leaning your head against his shoulder because you felt too warm under his gaze.

“wanna get off inside?” you heard him ask, causing you to cough & blink for a moment.

“shit—what did you say?” you looked at him, feeling his hand begin to interlock with yours again.

“i asked if you wanna go back inside—you sure you’re good?”

oh god, now you were hearing things.

“y-yeah, good idea” you mumbled as you followed his lead, holding on tight to avoid getting broken apart through the sea of teenagers & college students.

you only broke apart when robin pulled you in for a hug, hearing her say “it felt like you were gone for ages!”

for the rest do the night, you told yourself to he lost in the music rather than thoughts of eddie munson doing nasty things to you, which was going pretty successful until you felt his breath on your neck again.

“wanna dance?”

& how on earth could you say no?!?!

you let him pull you into his arms, his hands firm on your waist while yours were loose around his neck.

with the pot & other alcohol mixing in your system, you felt on top of the world. especially with eddie’s eyes on you. he’d twirl you around in circles & give you room to dance your heart out with him in your grasp & steve & robin would give each other knowing glances about whatever was brewing between you too.

you felt hot, sticky, & tingly all over your skin (not just because eddie was touching you) so you pulled his head down a bit to yell in his ear. “i’m gonna find a washroom!” & he was leading you around the house to find one without a question.

once you both found one of the third floor of this outrageous house, you pulled eddie in with you & turned on the light, thankful there was a dim setting.

“jesus, that was bright!” eddie shielded his eyes, causing you to laugh as you hopped up onto the counter.

exhaling a sigh of relief, you let your head lean back & rest against the mirror while eddie leaned against the closed door.

“do you need me to like, turn around or something…?” he asked, wondering what you were going to do.

“no—i just wanted to go somewhere quieter. less sweaty bodies”

he nodded understandingly before shamefully looking you up & down, telling himself to not get hard at the sight of you so pretty. you were already falling down a rabbit hole of all the things you want to do with him right now, each more dirty than the next—it would be just so easy for him to take off your skirt & unbuckle his pants—wouldn’t it?

but the guilt started to seep in & make you hide your face to groan in annoyance because why on earth were you spiralling like this?

“is something wrong?” he walked to you, holding your wrists & pulling them away to uncover you.

“just going insane is all” you replied, causing you both to laugh until he reached up to wipe off some of your smudged eyeliner from your under eye. he just needed to touch you somehow.

“guess what an old friend told me while i was getting a drink earlier”

you tilted your head in wonder, staring directly at eddie’s lips as he spoke.

“he saw us walk inside & told me that we looked like some couple from a movie—don’t remember which one though…” he ended with a murmur, too focussed on swiping his thumb on your cheek until you spoke up.

“is that a bad thing?” you asked, suddenly feeling small in this washroom with his hand directly on your skin.

eddie was closing in on you now, & you didn’t want it to stop.

you instantly felt sober now. especially with how each swipe on your skin felt like he was making you his—which was definitely an exaggeration but how could you need feel that way when he was holding you so delicately?

shaking his head ‘no’, eddie’s brows furrowed. “of course not—it’s not a bad thing. i-i just thought it was, i dunno, cute—“

“cute?” you questioned softer than him, a smile in the beginning stages of forming on your face.

was this your moment that robin was talking about? you sure hoped so.

“i-i think that’s the right word” he stumbled over his words, feeling your right hand brush some hair out of his face.

“i think so too”

& then there was comfortable silence.

you weren’t sure how to move forward from here. do you tell him all your feelings for him that you’ve keep hidden in a vault at the back of your mind? do you tell him that you’ve been fantasizing about him for weeks? that he’s the only one that makes you feel so many things?

you wish this part was easier.

“would it be, i dunno, uncalled for if i told you that you’ve been driving me crazy?” eddie asked, immediately unlocking said vault inside you.

“are you serious?” you asked, completely sober now as you pulled his hand away from your face & fixed your posture, eyes locked on his for the answer.

“as serious as the dead” his breath hitched, unsure if he made things worse or misread whatever signs you sent, but before he could apologize your hands were already on his face to pull his lips to yours.

it was a messy, top lip & hungry kiss that you’ve been dying to experience since you first laid eyes on him. & god did it felt right, with his tongue meshing with yours & his hands gripping your fishnet covered thighs as he pulled you closer to his body with aching need.

it was the kind of kiss that tried to convey just how you felt about him, the wanting & lusting from afar, the longing glances & lip bites when he made you feel a certain type of way.

it was catastrophic & heavy but sweet with laboured breaths of beer & smudged lipstick.

“holy shit” eddie breathed out against your lips, chasing him for another kiss because it was just that good but you were smiling & clashing your teeth against his & giggling from how silly it all felt.

“that is why i’ve been going insane” you panted against him, hands falling to grip the cotton of his shirt.

“i’m crazy about you eddie. & it’s not the drugs talking, i promise” you swore, scouts honour.

with his forehead pressing against yours & laugh escaping his lips that had little bits of your lipstick, he squeezed your thighs. “i would hope not, ‘cause i’m really crazy about you too”

you closed your eyes now, relishing in the weight lifting off your shoulders & how his touch felt electric. “eddie” you exhaled.

“yeah, sweetheart?” his fingers were pressing different patterns on your thighs to the point where you asked in yourself if he was writing ‘mine’ across the fishnet material.

“can we do this again tomorrow?” you asked, already longing for this feeling to last.

“i don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon, so yeah, i think we can make it happen” eddie smirked, kissing you quick before pulling back to see your swollen lips.

“wanna go back to the party & surprise the geeks?”

“i’d love to”

& with eddie whisking you from the counter, hand on your hip as he lead you back downstairs, you both immediately saw steve & robin jumping up & down happily when they witnessed you two looking like love sick idiots who finally fessed up.

young love, am i right?

#l0vergirlwrites💌#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fanfic #steve stranger things #stranger things netflix #fanfic

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hrts4scarr · 3 days

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ᯓ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⑅ walk him like a dog ✯ jb22 .ᐟ.ᐟ

★ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃﹕﹙ yes/no ﹚ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘﹕﹙in which sebastian vettels sister gets her dream job to work along with him, but stumbles across an infamous playboy﹚ — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒﹕﹙purpose use of lowercase letters only, not sure if there's gonna be another part, use of y/n, black-cat!reader, golden-retriever-ish!jenson, past-playboy!jenson, lowkey-past-toxic!jenson, VERYY light angst [i think], probably not well proofread, lmk if there's anything i missed!!﹚ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆﹕﹙jenson button 22 x f!vettel!reader﹚ — 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓﹕﹙icba checking but it's not much at all imooo fjdkjfdsjfkla﹚ ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙this lowkey reminds me of a 2018 wattpad story but fuck it we ball﹚

˚ ₊ · ͟͟͞͞➳ — ꒰ last work // pinned post // masterlist // taglist // rules // next ꒱

IT WASN'T SURPRISING for a young, intelligent woman like you to get your dream job in motorsport, especially as the not very known sister of the much loved driver at rbr, sebastian vettel. start of the season, first day, no sweat. couldn't be much harder than what you've been studying for all your years at uni. you just started working for your brothers team, red bull racing. you could not wait. not only did you get to work at the job you've been dreaming of since you were a little kid, but you got to work along side your older brother, who you loved dearly.

even though you were attempted to be knocked down down by some stupid boys when you were younger, it never stopped you from watching f1 races, studying how they built their cars, or researching about your favourite motorsport. you were determined, stubborn and hardworking. the perfect traits for someone to pursue their dream job. with your supportive brother and family by your side, you were thankful that you finally have made it this far.

as the studious young lady you were, it also wasn't surprising that you were shuffling through your folder containing multiple notes, making sure you didn't forget anything. paying too much attention to what you were doing - rather than where you were going, you bumped into a hard wall.

no, wait. not a wall, but rather a fairly tall man in his early 30s. your folder falls to the floor, the pencil tucked behind your ear doing its best to stay put. squatting down to pick up the fallen folder, you mumbled rapidly. "shoot, sorry, that was completely my fault, i wasn't paying attention to where i wa-"

"relax, darling," you heard a chuckle, the british accent sounding familiar in your ears. "you seem to be stressing yourself out." as you stood up, you were faced with the one and only 2009 wdc winner. "..i- sorry." you whispered softly, embarressed as you stared at your shoes.

"it's alright, love. it was an accident." he grinned, leaning over slightly to see your face. "i haven't seen you around here, are you-"

"there you are!!" your older brother, jogs up to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. you seemed to forget all about your little accident as you crack into a smile. "c'mon now, you're going to be late." you giggle as seb drags you along with him.

jenson watched as you and sebastian went over to the red bull garage. his eyes followed your perfect posture, up to how your clothes were neat and unwrinkled, finally stopping and lingering on your face. 'friends' with the 2010 champion, hmm? he watched as you entered the garage. he couldn't wait to meet you again.

〜

"hello there, love." from the corner of your eye, you could see a shadow leaning on the doorframe. that same british accent from the day before, that same faint cologne, that same little smirk that seemed to get on your nerves in the weirdest - but not bad - way.

"mr. button." you nod as you wrote notes that you learnt the day before on your tablet.

"please, it's just jenson." jenson sat next to you, leaning over your shoulder to see what you were writing. he did it like personal space wasn't a thing. "i didn't get your name." he turned your head to face you, a small grin on his face.

"it's y/n." you say, not facing him.

"i take it you know sebastian? y'know, from yesterday." he asks, attempting to start a conversation.

"he's my brother." you press 'save' on your tablet, finally closing it and meeting jenson's eyes for the first time. your gaze lingered for a quick second, taking in his features, observing his demeanour.

jenson paused. "brother? i didn't know he had any siblings." jenson says curiously.

"you don't seem to know a lot of things." you say jokingly, giving him a tiny grin. the man couldn't help but chuckle.

"y/n vettel? such a pretty name for a pretty woman." he winks, thinking his usual playboy charm would work on you just like the other girls.

you can't help but roll your eyes playfully as you packed your things. "see you around, button."

〜

you reached into your handbag to pay for your ice cream. the cashier shook her head, gesturing to a man sitting by the window. "he already paid." you furrow your eyebrows. "oh, alright. thank you." you give the cashier a small smile before turning to where she was gesturing to.

jenson damn button. you could already feel his gaze on you and that lingering scent on him as you sat in front of the driver.

"there's really no need to pay for me, mr. button."

"and there's really no need to call me 'mr. button,' love." jenson chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee.

you sigh. you couldn't be stubborn with him, knowing how hard headed he was from all your years of watching f4 to f1.

"this is a nice little shop, don't you think? perfect place to hangout before the australian gp." jenson leans forward, that same smirk on his face.

"mmm, yeah. they have delicous ice cream." you take a bite of yours, not being able to help but feel guilty for not paying for your ice cream.

"what's your favourite flavour?" jenson asks, trying to fuel the conversation.

"chocolate. basic but the best." you say softly with icecream covered lips.

"that's fair." he chuckles. "i'm a vanilla kind of guy."

from there, your conversation grew longer. you both opened up more, sharing small laughs and recalling past memories. it felt like only minutes to you both, but little did you know it was nearly dinner.

"would you look at that, it's nearly 6pm." you check your phone.

"well, before i say goodbye, do you think i could have the pleasure of taking you out for dinner this thursday?" jenson grins.

"nice try, button, but im busy all week. try again next time, and we'll see." chuckling, you pack up your things. "later!" you leave the icecream shop as jenson's eyes follow.

"later." he mumbles. this felt different. different in a way he's never felt like this before. different in a way that you were different. different in a way he was really falling for someone. different or stupid, his stomach twisted with mixed feelings. different.

★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙i genuinely don't know when im gonna have more parts to this 😔﹚ ౨ৎ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓﹕﹙@gray4youuu @c-losur3 @ujws5 @namgification @faithshouseofchaos @isurvived3-11andimproud﹚

˚ ₊ · ͟͟͞͞➳ — ꒰ last work // pinned post // masterlist // taglist // rules // next ꒱

notes, comments, reblogs, feedback and follows are greatly appriciated!

!! PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ON OTHER WEBISTES/APPS OR COPY MY ORIGINAL WORK !!

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keerysfreckles · 13 hours

Text

stick season — OB38 (smau)

pairing: ollie bearman x leclerc!singer!reader

summary: ollie slowly falls for charles' younger sister

warnings: google translated french

a/n: i need to give ollie the biggest hug and put him in my pocket

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

y/nleclerc just posted !

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 1,084 others

y/nleclerc my new cover of "all my love" by noah kahan is out now !! available on youtube and spotify :)🤍

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user1 been waiting for a noah cover FOREVER 🤩

user2 she is the moment !

user3 charles being supportive in the youtube comment section i need a minute 😖

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️

user4 olivia song next plz!!!

charles_leclerc beautiful as always mon ours (my bear)

y/nleclerc learned from the best 😙

user5 charles calling her his bear cause theyre her fav animal I CANT DO THIS

user6 ollie being in the likes????

user7 pls they've been best friends for like ever calm down 😭😭

y/nleclerc just posted !

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y/nleclerc me and b-man went to the paddock this weekend ‼️‼️ charles_leclerc olliebearman

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user1 oh i know this trio caused some chaos

user2 more ferrari polaroid pics when?!

scuderiaferrari loved having you back y/n ❤️

y/nleclerc loved being back :)❤️

user3 the way she calls ollie bman 😭😭

olliebearman never call me b-man again

y/nleclerc no promises 🤗

user4 the trio i never knew i needed in the paddock

user5 i already KNOW y/n has the most silly charles pics

charles_leclerc don't think i didn't see you giggling when ollie was around y/n

y/nleclerc charles not on the main.....

user6 CHARLES EXPOSING Y/N PLSSS

twitter !

imessage !

olliebearman just posted !

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olliebearman wonderful race in my hometown 🇬🇧 stoked to see how next week will go! y/nleclerc

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user1 she went to the race with him 🤭🤭

user2 OOOH OLIVER BEARMAN!!!!!!!!!

y/nleclerc my fav brit 🫶🏻

olliebearman 🫶🏻

user3 they're so 😖😖😖😖😖

user4 podium ollie lives in my head rent free

user5 the way they looked at each other before ollie got into the car :(((

charles_leclerc you would not believe how many texts i got when you got p2

y/nleclerc CHARLES.....

olliebearman how many were there

charles_leclerc 27 😬

user6 charles exposing y/n pt 2

olliebearman just posted !

liked by y/nleclerc, charles_leclerc and 159,302 others

olliebearman had to go to miss bear's first ever concert 🤍 y/nleclerc

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user1 he went to BOTH shows 😣

user2 definition of if he wanted to he would

user3 THE CAPTION?????????

user4 MISS. BEAR.

y/nleclerc ily 🥹🥹

olliebearman anything for my bear

user5 HIS BEAR??!?!!!!!?!?!??

user6 so is no one gonna point out the last slide...

user7 possible soft launch???????

charles_leclerc i guess i can share my bear

user8 😭😭😭

y/nleclerc just posted !

liked by olliebearman, bffusername and 3,960 others

y/nleclerc ❤️‍🩹🐻 olliebearman

comments limited to y/nleclerc's followers

olliebearman i love being your bear

y/nleclerc i love being yours

bffusername RUE?? WHEN WAS THIS????

y/nleclerc 😅😅😅

charles_leclerc no pda in the f1 paddock please

carlossainz55 but they're adorable 😊

y/nleclerc yeah charles we're adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc just posted !

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charles_leclerc mon ours a trouvé la sienne ❤️ y/nleclerc olliebearman

translation my bear found hers

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user1 OH MY GOD????????

user2 the caption :(

olliebearman y/n's been crying over this for a good 5 minutes

charles_leclerc good cry?

olliebearman she keeps switching between french and english, so yes??

carlossainz55 the cutest paddock kids

user3 charles hard launching his sisters relationship is so funny to me

user4 f1 cameraman you know what to do...

y/nleclerc 🥹🥹🥹

user5 been a y/nollie shipper since day one 🤞

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throatgoatwill · 2 days

Text

I've always asked myself how (realistically) a hannibal and will kiss scene would be like in the actual series. how would bryan make it work as naturally and organically as their relationship's development through the seasons.

I'd never arrived at an answer that seemed right to me, and even reached the point of thinking a kiss scene wouldn't add much because their dynamic was already miles beyond such a thing. BUT. I think I just stumbled upon the best answer. At least to me. Idk, it just really synced with my interpretations of their love.

Ok so i've just watched hannibal (2001) and if you haven't already, I really recommend you to do so!!! bryan put SO many references to it on the series, and it's just incredibly satisfying to connect the dots in regards of the creative process of the series. - that said, the majority of the references that made their way into the show, were dialogues between hannibal and clarice, wich later became some of our favorite hannigram scenes.

and at the very final scenes of the movie, I was caught completely of guard by clarice and hannibal's kiss, and not only because of the kiss itself, but the whole context and build up towards it, and the events that followed. It was fucking perfect. And it really hurt me to wonder if bryan was planning to recreate that scene with hannibal and will, because it would fit SO WELL..... I swear, it would've been beautiful and even more heartbreaking than the original.

Especially because of these specific lines:

"Tell me, Clarice, would you ever say to me, 'Stop. If you loved me, you'd stop'?"

"Not in a thousand years."

"Not in a thousand years... that's my girl."

COULD WE EVEN SURVIVE SUCH THING AS HANNIBAL SAYING THOSE WORDS TO WILL??? LIKE???? "...That's my boy." ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE.

And it gets even fucking better because, later, when clarice cuffs their hands together to prevent hannibal from running away, he threatens to cut of her hand, but just at the very last second before doing so, he ponders quickly, a single tear making it's way across his cheek as he says "this is really gonna hurt." and he follows up by amputating his own hand.

and we just know he is actually talking about being separated from her again, the pain it would inflict on him.

and if bryan had had the time to recreate that and adapt it to hannibal and will, that line would be about how it would hurt both of them, as it is: they're conjoined, not sure if either could survive separation.

here's the entire scene if you got curious, I really recommend watching it, it's beautifully made.

#my head was just blown away by this scene sorry #i can perfectly picture mads and hugh in it #it would've been perfect #im grieving #hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #murder husbands #clarice starling #hannibal 2001

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 2 days

Note

For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3

sad grayson head canons

of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).

grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.

sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.

grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)

when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)

very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.

although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.

i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.

he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.

he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.

he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.

tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.

grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)

sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)

he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).

this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.

he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)

when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.

he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)

when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.

this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.

he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.

sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.

he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.

it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.

whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)

when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

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loveandplanet · 2 days

Text

Miss Americana

Now playing: You’re On Your Own, Kid

C/W: Mentions of abuse, violence, ellusions to rape, Marshal is a perv, misogyny/sexism, angst, Goose has no idea how to Scottish slang. As always, italics in “” depict Norwegian.

A/N: Things are getting juicy! I’m really falling in love with Evelyne’s story now, and I’m the one writing it lmao. Constructive criticism is always welcomed in a positive way. I’m sensitive.

It’s dark; the house is quiet. Evelyne squints into the darkness. Her clock says it’s 3am. It’s only been a few hours since her fight with her father. She rolls out of her bed and makes her way down the hall. Andrews door is shut, when she tries the handle, it’s locked. “Lorris?” She calls out to him, hopefully the nickname will make him open the door.

To her luck, he does. The door practically rips off its hinges from his anger. Andrew glares at her, the same look, she realizes, that he gives their dad.

“The fuck you want, Evelyne?”

“Are…are you okay? I know Marshall was pretty harsh this time.” Her cheek still stings from the slap she received, and she can only imagine how her brother feels. He huffs, rolling his eyes at her.

“You’ve taken it too far with this Scottish boy, Evelyne. I’m not covering for you anymore.” “But you said-”

“Doesn’t matter! This is your problem, not mine!”

He turns to go back into his room, leaving Evelyne there in shock. Andrew stops and looks at her one last time.

“Oh, and another thing, Marshall knows there isn’t a ‘Malic Greene’ in your class.” Then the door slams in her face, making her flinch.

“You’re on your own, kid. You always have been.”

“Lass?”

Evelyne blinks at him, her curls matted to her face from the rain. She barely remembers how she got here. She’s still in her pajamas; an old nirvana shirt and cotton sleep shorts. She didn’t even put on shoes in her desperation to get to him. Falling into his arms, she sobs out a single word. “Johnny,”

He pulls her into the house. She’s never done this; shown up at his Aunts house at the crack-ass of dawn. John bombards her with questions. What happened? Are you okay, lass? Evelyne doesn’t respond to any, only sobs. God, she feels so stupid. The more she gets Johnny involved with her, the more she puts him at risk of Marshal’s wrath. The roses were bad enough. It’s not until John pulls her away from his shoulder, tucking stray curls behind her ears with a gentleness she’s never felt, that Evelyne realizes what she has to do. She stares into the sea of blue that is her boys’ eyes. “I can’t keep doing this, Johnny.”

“Doing wha’?”

She shakes her head. Please, she begs, don’t make me say this. Evelyne thinks that God may just be on her side when Johnny’s eyes widen. The pair stare at each other for a beat in silence. And then-

“Come with me.” “What?”

“To Scotland. Come back home with me, to Scotland.”

“John you know I can’t do that! What- what about Nellie and Claire? I can’t just leave them alone. With him!”

“So yer just gonna let him beat ya to death?”

“To protect them? Yes!”

Johnny purses his lips, thinking. “Just, just try, for me lass. I leave tomorrow night; come with me,” He grabs her hands, bringing them up to his chest. “Please.”

Holy hell. When did he have the time to pick up Norwegian? Evelyne sighs, looking up at him.

“Okay,”

His face lights up.

“Really?”

“Really,”

Johnny’s kisses were always passionate, as was everything the boy did, but Evelyne felt like she was on fire when their lips met. Her hands went to his poorly done buzz cut as his went to her waist. If this is what she was giving London up for, it was worth it. “I’ll run away,”

London airport is bustling, people rushing to their terminal, to their loved ones, or to a taxi. Evelyne clutches her carry on bag to her chest as walks in the building. Johnny was in Gate C9, where he and his family were waiting for her. She feels nauseous; she’s really doing this. Leaving her family, her childhood, her sisters, behind. She ignores the constant buzzing of her phone in favor of rushing through the airport.

“From sprinklers splashes to fireplace ashes,”

Evelyne confirms for the fifth time that she is, in fact, at Gate C9. The problem? Johnny’s not here. There’s no terrible haircut, no loud Scottish slang. Evelyne’s vision blurs as tears form in her eyes; again.

“I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this.”

Three hours later, the plane is long gone, and it’s dark outside. Evelyne gathers her bags and makes her way outside. So much for coming home.

“Where that fuck have you been, girl?!”

“I went for a walk,”

Evelyne makes it two steps before her curls are roughly grabbed. She yelps before falling back. “You don’t do shit without my permission, you hear?!”

She looks at her father. His dark skin has a slight yellow tint to it. His liver must be failing. She can practically taste the shitty beer he drinks. “Yes, sir.”

Marshal looks shocked for a half a second before he smiles and his eyes roam. Evelyne wants to puke. “Good girl. It’s about time you learned.”

He releases his grip on her hair, allowing her to cower away. Evelyne lugs her bags up the stairs and into her room.

“You’re on your own kid,”

The panic starts before she can stop it.

“Yeah you can face this,”

Evelyne rips her stained sheets off her bed, shoving them into her closet.

“You’re on your own kid,”

“You always have been.”

@going-to-ikea-for-the-fries 👀👀

#call of duty #john soap mactavish #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod #oc rp #oc #original character #cod soap #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #cod modern warfare #oc backstory #cod angst

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 16 hours

Note

AITA for trying to get my grandparents to plan for when I leave?

(sending this 3/27/24 in case dates/timelines are important or something)

I (20X) am planning to move in with my brother in the very near future (like within a month or two), and I'm also planning to take some college classes at the local community college starting this fall. I've been worried about my grandparents because they're both in their 70s (my grandma is 74, my grandpa turns 77 next month) and have some disabilities. It's important to note I've lived with them almost my entire life, and their disabilities have gotten worse as they've aged. Because they're disabled, I do a lot of stuff around the house for them. This makes me worried about what they'll do when I leave and how they'll navigate because I feel like they're dependent on me.

My grandpa's been out of town for the past week and got back last night, so I mentioned today that I want him and my grandma to plan for when I leave. The response was basically "we'll be fine, go live your life" and "we've never had an empty nest before" and the empty nest comment honestly just seems like it proves my point?

One of the issues is my grandparents babysit my cousins a lot (the youngest being 2 months old, the oldest being 10) and they especially get dependent on me when they're babysitting. Additionally I'm planning to completely cut all contact with them because they've been emotionally abusive for as long as I can remember (even sometimes getting physically abusive to myself, my brother, and my dog). I haven't told them about this yet, mostly because I feel like they'd freak out (they are the type to say they're the people who raised me so they're entitled to whatever from me).

I feel like a bit of an asshole for even telling them to plan out what they're gonna do when I leave because they have kids around town, which is where the empty nest comment came from I think. But on the other hand, my grandpa leaves the house a lot without my grandma, and my grandma can't get around very well, partly because she had a stroke back in 2010 that messed up her balance. I'm primarily worried that something will happen to her and nobody will be around to help her out. Additionally, their kids have lives and jobs of their own, so there's no guarantee they'd be able to get their kids' help if they need it.

They're so insistent that they don't need a plan that I'm tempted to have them act like I don't exist for a week and see how they do.

I also have generalized anxiety disorder, in case that's relevant. Both of my grandparents know about this diagnosis.

TLDR: AITA for trying to get my grandparents to make a plan for when I leave, despite them having their kids around town?

#aita #am i the asshole

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loustyleshtommo · 2 days

Text

Song Analysis of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department: Track 28

Because Matty Healy is a stinky red herring. Let me tell you why Track 28 Peter is actually about Louis Tomlinson, and present the evidence that Taylor Swift really said: forget that guy on the chief coming straight home to me. Goddess Karlie can STEP ON ME.

ps. I blame this entire song analysis on Taylor releasing folklore on One Direction’s 10th HBD.

Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless leader

“my lost fearless” could refer to Taylor’s second studio album. She lost that masters to Big Machine. Before she announced her re-release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), Louis released his solo debut album Walls, with a song called Fearless, “Cash in your weekend treasure for a suit and tie, a second wife” seemingly referencing her Lover era (ME! mv) as well as her past relationship with Dianna Agron and her present with Karlie Kloss.

“Now I’m not saying that you could’ve done better. Just remember that I, I’ve seen that fire alight.” Louis knew Taylor was planning to come out and was well on her way to execute that plan before it all went wrong. (Re: The 2019 NYC Pride Parade Outfit She Never Wore)

His song was encouraging her to become that fearless again. To tell her that he knew she tried. But why did Louis have to reassure Taylor? Why did Taylor feel the need to apologize to Louis?

In closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids.

Both Louis and Taylor were queer kids who got stuck in the closets as soon as they stepped foot onto the music industry scene. It’s not a pleasant place to be. Just listen to the anxiety in Taylor’s voice when she asked “Are we out of the woods?”

Was it something I did?

Who could ever forget the Haylor Winter Romance? One Direction dropped their second studio album “Take Me Home”. During that promo season, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift got papped together a lot. The fandoms were divided. Some fans still believed in Larry Stylinson and/or Swiftgron. But the tabloids insisted it gotta be Haylor. Is it Taylor’s fault that they’re still stuck in the closet today? If she hadn’t participated in handholding in Central Park/NYE kiss/Blue Dress on a Boat, would everything be different today?

The goddess of timing once found us beguiling

Both Louis and Taylor were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time for their music career to start like shooting stars (Louis: we were lucky once, I could be lucky again.)

The things about “beguiling” is that it doesn’t only mean enchanting/charming, it has the connotation of being deceptive. The goddess of timing did not find them to be truthful.

She said she was trying.

Actual deity is all powerful and rarely has to try. This is such a human quality. This person is comparable to a Goddess but she’s still just a person. I believe that the Goddess of Timing here is Kali, while the person Taylor is calling a Goddess is Karlie.

Kali is a Goddess from Hinduism aka the same place as the concept of karma (who is Taylor’s boyfriend when she wrote the songs. But once she put it out and performs it for the audience, she no longer thinks of the song Karma as her own. In her mind, it already belongs to the fans. And if that’s the kind of entertainment they’re expecting, she will continue to sing “Karma is the guy on the Chief coming straight home to me.” Because the Goddess already sees her as a liar, what difference adding one more lie is gonna make? (Did she forget about the last straw?))

Peter, was she lying?

For the Goddess of time, this is the same question about fame (what Taylor earned with the help of fortunate timing) that Taylor has been wondering about since her first Speak Now era: Never Grow Up (Keep this line in mind, it will come into play later: It’s so much colder than I thought it would be, so I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up. (Such a Peter Pan thing to think.) Continued into RED (Lucky One: Now my name is up in the light. I wonder if I’d make it out alive) All the way to Clara Bow in the tortured poets department. It’s the question that’s been haunting her for ages.

For the person comparable to the Goddess, was Karlie lying? Well, if she really is with Taylor then she’s also very deep in the closet and hiding a core truth about herself. So, yes, she was lying.

My ribs got the feeling she did

This is the line that cements it for me.

This Goddess must be Kali.

And Taylor fancies herself Kali’s consort.

One of the most popular form of Kali is Dakshina Kali. She is typically shown with her right foot on her consort’s chest. It’s a show of his devotion to her.

I got the information of Kali legend from Wikipedia, and this is what THE POETS got to say about the guy at her feet.

Here’s the thing, those who worship Kali are said to be able to overcome death itself. (Honey, I rose up from the death I do it all the time. Reputation is a Karlie album confirmed for a thousand times.)

Another thing about Kali is that she is not just a Goddess of Time. She is also known as Mother Goddess; Goddess of Time, Change, Creation, Power, Destruction and Death. (So basically, the entire theme of the Tortured Poets Department. Damn, girl. Way to talk about devotion.)

Another form of Goddess Karlie Kali with her left foot on her consort, Shiva, is much more violent. She was in uncontrollable rage. To stop her from destroying the entire universe, Taylor Shiva laid down on her warpath. When she stomped on him (and likely hurt his ribs in the process, ouch), she realized with horror that she had gone too far. (Taylor’s The Great War: The worst was over…I vowed, I will always be yours.)

And I didn’t want to come down.

I thought it was just goodbye for now.

The pre-chorus subject will later change from I to We, but the theme of thinking they would have more time keeps coming back around. Taylor still wanted her name up in the light. She thought she would have more time. She thought hiding crucial part of herself was just a temporary thing.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

This chorus is why I think the YOU in this song is Louis/Harry. The anxiety-inducing repetition is reminiscent of Out Of The Woods aka the song I believe was written from Louis’s perspective, and also contained one of her earliest blatantly queer-coded lyrics: The rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colors.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

In the early One Direction days, Louis once admitted that growing old is one of his worst fears. Isn’t that the most Peter Pan thing you’ve ever heard? Taylor be like “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” This is one of the many reasons why I think William Bowery has never, ever, ever been Joe, but rather was actually Louis William Tomlinson (who curses like a sailer so much that infects Taylor. She never dropped f-bomb before she started writing with WB). The ships passing in the night imagery is such a Louis and Harry thing, and Taylor started using it heavily from 1989 onwards. Aka the album she wrote Style and invited the fella over there with a hella good hair to come shake it off.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

But can they really shake off the tumultuous emotions of hiding the love of your life like a skeleton in your closets? No matter how many hiding places she knew?

Words from the mouth of babes

Exhibit A to infinity: baby boyfriends

Promises oceans deep

Rope & Anchor, Ship & Compass, Pirates and nautical theme couple tattoos. You name it, they got it. Louis’s Strong and Harry’s Happily lethal combo: My hand, your hand tied up like two ships. I don’t care what people say when we’re together.

But never to keep

Exhibit crying in a cool way:

1D’s Something Great: The script was written and I could not change a thing.

1D’s Story of My Life: Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain

Harry horse-noises-and-i-would-lean-towards-no Styles, Sweet Creature who? Never heard of her.

Louis doesn’t-know-what-tattoo-he-got Tomlinson, but this compass is so sweet for pointing home, innit?

Never to keep

How many times are they going to have to deny their love? How many times do they have to parade around with someone else for the camera? How many times do they have to bring up conspiracies and how unfair it is for their loved ones? They keep doing things that practically break a promise of ALWAYS IN MY HEART. Are they doomed to never keeping their promises?

Are you still a mind reader?

It’s not just Louis’s Fearless song before she unlocked the vault to Fearless (Taylor’s Version), just look at the way he wrote lyrics that Taylor clearly had in mind:

Louis in Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: I know you left a part of you in New York

Taylor in Hoax: You knew I left a part of me back in New York

Louis for 1D’s Love You Goodbye: Baby, go on, twist the knife

Taylor in Hoax: my twisted knife, my winless fight

Louis for 1D’s Midnight Memories first leaked: Diana, let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. I don’t think you even realize, but, baby, you’d be saving mine.

Taylor in reputation’s Call It What You Want: You don’t have to save me. But would you run away with me? Yes. And keep this line in mind: My baby’s fly like a jet stream.

A natural scene stealer?

I mean, I am very biased. But Louis has always stolen the scene. Whether it be “NO! Jimmy protested” on the staircase, Kevin the Pigeon, it said do not dial 9 so I dialed 9, or when singing/carrying 1D choruses, especially clear in What Makes You Beautiful and Story of My Life a cappella version.

In relation to Taylor, as soon as Haylor officially ended according to tabloid, Louis proceeded to get this giant Swift bird tattoo in his right arm.

And remember the game 1D played for FOUR promo? Louis wasn’t even trying to do anything funny and the universe was like let’s make sure the pulling-words-out-of-hats game has the funniest possible outcomes.

Harry: mine said Louis Tomlinson

Niall: got papped snogging

Zayn: Taylor Swift

*chaos erupts*

Louis: *incredulous laughter*

Harry: *seize the opportunity for the funniest joke ever* I mean, you could’ve told me

Louis: Jesus.

Anyhow, I digress. Niall said without Louis, 1D would be the most boring band in the world.

I’ve heard great things, Peter.

I mean, World Tours/Festivals/Faith in the Future. Yup, great things indeed. But it also implied that they hadn’t seen each other in person for a while. (That’s why I still on the clown train that WB is Louis. They wrote together in lockdown. Nobody was out to see anybody.)

But life was always easier on you than it was on me.

This is where I am extremely dubious of my own clown theory. I don’t believe Louis had it easier than Taylor, especially given how he lost his mom and his sister. But it helps that the next line made it clear which aspect of life she was talking about.

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream.

This line really takes Harry out as a contender for being Peter/you. Because he already has his own place here. He’s the “your jet stream”. My baby’s fly like a jet stream. Harry is Louis’s baby. It’s been well-documented in the Larry Stylinson fandom/organization/conspiracy/call it what you want to. 😂

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

Both Taylor and Harry did the best they could do under the same circumstance. From the point of view on earth, there is only one moon. It seems so big and just within reach. But when we zoom out to the level of galaxies, it’s practically impossible to pinpoint the same moon among billions of other celestial bodies. Yet, the dark night cycle for Taylor and Harry is exactly the same. They’re both stuck in the same style of closet from when they were just kids. (Womanizer/Slut aka someone with many different partners, before it shifted to long-term low-key/marriage material themes. Likely due to the songs they kept writing which couldn’t possibly be about one-night stands, no matter which angle anyone look at it. The messages are loud and clear. They are in love and deeply devoted to one person only.) The difference is Taylor didn’t get to meet Karlie before the industry broke her spirit down. (Let all your damage, damage me.) But Louis and Harry have always had each other to rely on. #welivetogetherdealwithit.

Harry was once asked if falling in love is the best part of a relationship. Well, he said he actually believed the best part after that initial rush of infatuation is becoming a team. If that’s not enough to sound like someone in a long-term committed relationship. Harry also has a habit of singing “I’m in love with Lou and all his little things”/ “You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to. You’re still the one I want for life.” /“Hopelessly devoted to Lou.”

So, yeah. No wonder Taylor believed life was always easier on Louis and Harry than it was on her. Not even mentioning the things she said on The Man: I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.

And I didn’t wanna hang around.

So Karlie and Harry was seen hanging out once and never again.

We said it was just goodbye for now.

I think Louis/Harry and Taylor/Karlie were always planning to come out at the same time, but that coming out schedule kept getting postponed.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Words from the mouth of babes

Promises oceans deep

But never to keep

Never to keep

It’s the same ol’ shit, just different days. The anxious anticipation and fear of consequences for when they finally come out feel oceans deep. They can’t get rid of it. But they still can’t commit to it 100% either. All they could do was making promises after promises with blatant Easter eggs like Harry running around with rainbow flags on stage, Louis wearing a giant golden H on his chest for his livestream during COVID-19 lockdown, Taylor’s entire Lover era. The list goes on and on.

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn.

I’m gonna let the burning of Lover house in the Eras tour speak for itself. Their plan to come out was a failure time and time again.

As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return.

As Taylor kept switching out these Kens, while stuck in the same ol’ closet, she still hoped Louis won’t give up on their plan.

Well, here’s Louis in Just Like You aka the song he announced on National Coming Out Day saying: 25 and it’s all planned.

Did that plan include dropping his album Walls with Come so far from Princess Park & For every question why, you were my because on the last day that Harry was 25 years old? Because that happened.

And here’s Taylor in Lover for Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cuts sting from our paper thin plans.

Did that paper thin plan include Taylor releasing ME! on Lesbian’s Visibility Day? Because that happened.

Soon we will see the reason why Taylor would be asking for forgiveness from Louis. But let’s see first what she was hoping for and didn’t get.

With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned.

Remember Cloud lyrics from 1D: Some days you’re gonna see the things that I see… Never coming back down.

And from Louis’s Walls in We Made It: Never coming down with your hand in mine.

Because the thing about We Made It, is Louis still had to throw in a line for his girlfriend Eleanor. Yes, Harry and Louis made it. But they’re still stuck in the closet, anyway.

'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

This is when I realize that Taylor has been tracing the stepping stones, starting from most recent events and making her way back to the start in a non-linear manner. Well, she certainly did called this album a post-mortem study. But exactly whose death are we mourning in this particular song right here?

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Remember Harry’s “Not That Important”? Or all the Rainbow Bondage Bear and Sugar Baby Bear RBB/SBB shenanigans? Louis and Harry were throwing themselves at the closet door, banging against it and making such loud noises. They wanted so badly to show the world that they’re together while still in the band. That fantasy was one hell of a drug. Especially after Zayn left and they felt like they’ve got nothing left to lose. That was, until Belfast and babygate caged them into ironclad closet. But it wasn’t only just those events and One Direction going on hiatus that ensured Louis was completely and utterly lost.

Louis was trying so hard to make everyone sees that he’s not the father. He was so, so loud about it. So loud that it’s still causing troubles every time he brings up Freddie TODAY. Way too loud to ever be shut down, basically.

Louis was doing everything he could to leave the closet. But in December 2016, he lost his mom and turned twenty-five.

How could anyone expect a grieving boy to have another fight left in him?

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on (hold on) to the days (to the days) when you were mine.

Louis performed Just Hold On for the first time only days after his mom passing. In front of the person who made damn sure he couldn’t be himself under the spotlight. It’s a testament to his strength and I will never stop admiring his resilience. And although Taylor didn’t come through with their coming out plan, someone else made sure to have done the leg work.

Before her passing, Johannah, Louis’s mother, took the time to delete all of Freddie pictures off of her instagram, two weeks after she told Louis that she had terminal cancer.

(How do I know this? Well, it’s a hindsight is 20/20 thing. When Jay did that, fans had no clue she was sick and dying.

Years later, Louis talked about his mom breaking the bad news when he was at Jamie Vardy’s wedding.

And that wedding happened a fortnight before Jay removed all of Freddie pictures.)

Louis’s mom took out the rose thorns and made damn sure her baby boy could walk down their memory lane with the least pain possible. Louis had a great mom who taught him how to get through the darkest nights.

And though it’s not acknowledged so publicly, Louis has had Harry by his side all this time. I don’t think Louis ever needed an apology from Taylor just because they couldn’t complete their plan to come out/“Speak Now” in time for his mom to hear it, too.

Regardless, it’s possible that Taylor still felt really, really shitty for failing to execute their coming out plan as grief-stricken Louis ran out of time. By the time her scathing reputation prologue letter came around (as if inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test), it seemed Louis was in too deep with the conspiracy from One Direction days to ever be rid of it now. Quite literally lost to the lost boys chapter of his life

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

And I’m not gonna lie, the sudden reappearance of present tense in descriptive lyrics here gave me a jolt of anxiety. Taylor already released Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) in which she repeated “So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up.”

See, if we’re sticking with the original story of Peter Pan, Wendy grew up and Peter Pan didn’t. But in this version of the story, our Peter Pan aka Louis had been through such grief that pushed him to grow up first. He’s actually the one waiting now. Wendy aka Taylor had been playing catch up. (Fuck 🛴 for that.) Hence, this present tense about the woman who has turned out the light is the continuation of wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark.

By the way, how does the intro sequence of The Eras Tour go again?

It’s been a long time coming. It’s you and me. It’s Fearless. Big reputation. And they said Speak Now. Into folklore. My name is Taylor and I was born in 1989. Hey! evermore. Loving him was red. Meet me at midnight. Nice! Lover.

It’s you and me that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.

Taylor started her Eras Tour with Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. The song I believe was written to Louis from Harry’s perspective. “You know I adore you. I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen.” Corresponding nicely with the song 18 that one of her best friends, Ed Sheeran, wrote for One Direction. The one Louis used to sing as “I have loved him since we were eighteen.” And Harry immediately followed up by screaming “Sixteen!” at the crowd.

You said you were gonna grow up