#i like to think that nico feels guilty for bianca's death | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crossdressingdeath · 11 months

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So I love this. Basically everything about it, actually. It is an absolutely fantastic sequence.

First off: Nico implicitly considering the monstrous members of Kronos's army to be his kills in a way that contributes to him being a murderer (since otherwise the Acheron would have no reason to drag that memory to the surface). That fits really well with this book, because there is considerably more of a focus on how gods and demons and even quite a few monsters are still sapient beings. It fits even better given the whole quest at the centre of the book revolves around an immortal being dying and resurrecting down in Tartarus. Under the circumstances it makes a lot of sense both that Nico would be thinking about what it actually means to kill a living, intelligent creature even knowing they'll come back and that Nico has some mixed feelings about it; monsters in an attacking army or no, those are still sapient creatures with thoughts and feelings who are capable of feeling things like fear and pain! Killing them was necessary, and I definitely don't get the impression that Nico feels bad about it, but I like him acknowledging that he did still kill them and they did still feel it. It also feels right that it's Nico who has the thought of the monsters he's killed brought to the surface here in this scene about the guilt and regret our heroes feel for the blood on their hands, much like how in HoH it felt right that it was Percy who was punched in the face with the anger and resentment of the monsters he'd killed over the years.

Second: the deaths Nico and Will blame themselves for are super fucking sad? I've talked before about Will feeling like the people he failed to save as a healer are people he's killed and how incredibly depressing it is that this child (I think he's sixteen in TSatS?) thinks that because he couldn't save literally everyone who's ever gotten injured where he could reach them he's a murderer, but it's just... it's so sad. Will is the best medic in Camp Half-Blood, possibly the best medic across both camps, he does everything in his power to save lives, but even Apollo himself can't save everyone. Sometimes the Fates decide someone's time is up and not even the god of healing can do anything to prevent it. And Will thinks that because he can't save everyone (in other words because he's not better than a god), he's a murderer. And Nico feeling guilty over Bianca's death even though he was on the other side of the country and also ten years old with zero understanding of how his own powers worked is super tragic. If Nico had been in the junkyard with the quest group, the best he could've done was avoid dying with her. There was zero chance of him saving her, and he must know that! But he still feels guilty because he didn't save her. Somehow I did not see Nico blaming himself for Bianca's death to the point where the Acheron could use it to try to convince him he deserved punishment coming, I probably should've.

Third: Will blaming himself for not stopping Nico from killing Octavian is really interesting because it fits nicely into the plot about Will having to learn that he needs to accept Nico's darkness instead of trying to get him to overcome something that is and always will be a part of him? You can't fix your significant other! You also can't fix their murders. Will blaming himself for Octavian's death because he didn't stop Nico and Nico responding to that not by trying to justify Octavian's death but by saying Will isn't responsible for Nico's actions is a fantastic connection back to that theme: whether Nico was right to kill Octavian or not is immaterial. Will isn't Nico's keeper, so Nico's decisions aren't Will's fault in any way. Nico killing Octavian doesn't make Will a murderer just because he was there; hell, he tries to stop Octavian. Octavian refuses to listen to him. I also love how Will does call it murder, because it really was! Nico's one of the finest combatants of his generation, he could absolutely have gotten a skinny little augur armed with a knife away from an onager if he'd wanted to; instead he deliberately let him launch himself, aware that it would be fatal. I don't know if he could be charged with murder for that, I'm not a lawyer, but... yeah, it was murder at least as far as intent goes. But the fact that in this middle school series that in most cases writes around admitting that its protagonists have in fact killed people a book is openly saying "ah yes, our heroes have in fact committed at least one murder" is very good.

Fourth: Nico's thoughts on his own ruthlessness are interesting to me. Like, he's clearly got some negative feelings about his willingness to kill people. He's for sure the quickest of our leads across all the books to go for lethal options, and I think he might actually be the only one (other than Apollo, who is a god and so thinks about these things differently; see him differentiating between killing and murder since as a god there's seen to be less moral issues with killing mortals) to go for lethal options with the intent of killing people; Percy tries to get enemy demigods off the Princess Andromeda before blowing it and all the monsters aboard up (even if Son of Magic later confirmed he failed to actually get any of them to evacuate, since... y'know, he gave them like five minutes' warning and also was their enemy, but it's the thought that counts) and kind of tells himself "Yeah they probably evacuated I hope" and then doesn't really think about it again, and in HoO the POV characters basically treat mortals who came back through the Doors as another form of monster rather than people. To be clear there's nothing wrong with either of those approaches for the topic of the leads killing people in a middle school book (I'd take some issue with them in a book aimed at adults, but 'when is it morally justified to kill' is a lot to put in a book for twelve-year-olds), but Nico's willingness to look at what he's doing and say "This will kill a living person, that is the point of what I'm doing, and I accept that as necessary" is absolutely my favourite of the three. It's about that moment of looking directly at what he's doing and accepting it rather than trying to ignore it or pretend it isn't what it is. But the river is calling him out as worthy of punishment for how willing he is to kill, and since the river only works if you believe you do deserve punishment that means that on at least some level Nico thinks his willingness to kill, even if it's only when he deems it absolutely necessary, makes him a bad person. I actually really like that the Acheron focuses more on Nico's general willingness to kill than it does on any of the individual people he's killed, it suggests some very interesting things about how Nico views the situation; I feel like the takeaway is that while Nico doesn't feel guilty over the people he's killed he feels at least a bit guilty about not feeling guilty, if that makes sense.

Finally: Nico's views on Octavian's death are fascinating. I thought it was one of the deaths the river attacks him with, but it isn't; the fact that Nico's kill is one of the deaths the river uses against Will is a whole other thing, but the fact remains that Octavian isn't a death the river can use to convince Nico he deserves punishment. Neither is Bryce Lawrence, which I've spoken about before and still find just super interesting. Anyway though, I don't think Nico's lying to Will when he says he thinks about Octavian's death all the time (if he was lying I'd expect that to come up in his narration)... but it's also interesting to note that he doesn't say he regrets it, and doesn't deny Will's claim that he doesn't feel bad about it. He just says that he thinks about it all the time. There's not a huge amount to go on since it doesn't come up again (why doesn't it come up again), but personally the way I read that is... Nico doesn't regret Octavian's death, he still thinks it was necessary, he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't completely convinced it had to be done, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been turning it over in his head ever since. To put it another way, he doesn't regret that he killed Octavian... but he might regret that the situation reached a point where killing Octavian was necessary. Maybe what he's constantly thinking about regarding it (at least after the confirmation that Leo's death was ultimately a net positive for everyone involved including Leo himself, since Leo potentially dying because Nico let Octavian yeet himself was definitely something he did feel guilty about) is less "Did he really have to die" and more "Was there anything I or anyone else could've done to head this off before it reached the point where killing him became necessary".

Basically everything about this scene is really good! It's not even two full pages but there is so much to be said about it, it really is one of my favourite scenes.

#tsats #tsats spoilers #nico di angelo #will solace #also i love that nico only doesn't splash will for daring to say he's killed a lot of people by failing to save them #because splashing someone with acheron water would be Unwise. i love how that's his only qualm

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peanut-in-the-goal · 1 year

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omg omg number 1 with solangelo i think i'd cry actually <3

I'm worth nothing. To me, you're worth everything

finally filling out this request, guys i promise i'm not dead, still thinking of new story ideas every day

Nico couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t fucking breathe, and no one was coming. Will was working in the infirmary, Reyna and Hazel were at Camp Jupiter and no one else actually gave a shit about him on their own. In a group, he can’t be ignored without everyone else having a guilty conscience, but alone? Alone almost no one would seek him out. Jason might, and if he did Pery would tag along, but Jason was also at Camp Jupiter, so Nico was left to his own devices.

He could go scope out his boyfriend, knowing Will would quickly drop his paperwork in order to comfort Nico. But that felt like a journey away, and a very long journey at that. Will felt unreachable, both physically and mentally. Walking across the camp in this state would surely be a horrible idea. He knows that if he stands up all that will happen is his vision will black out into small dots, and he’ll have to fight for a few seconds to stay on his feet.

Then he’ll have to actually walk across campus. Not to mention all the prying eyes and uncomfortable looks he’d get from the other campers.

Him and Will and been fighting recently as well. Nico’s inability to communicate has them struggling to understand each other. Will’s constantly been annoyed with him for not speaking up, and Nico’s been pissed that Will needs to talk about every single little thing. Funny how that works out, seeing what predicament Nico was in now.

So no, going to Will was not an option.

He was sitting on the ground in his cabin, leaning against his own bed. He had been pacing before that, stuck in his own head and not knowing how to dispel his thrumming energy that felt like ants under his skin. He thought about going to the training grounds, ripping dummies to shreds with strike after strike. Summoning skeletons and listening to their bones rattle and bodies fall as he sliced through them.

But he knew his movements would be too sloppy. His steps too shaky and hands uncoordinated. He would’ve been too obvious. You can’t be the Ghost King and struggle in activities that you usually would excel in. He has far too much pride for that.

His breath keeps getting quicker and he can’t seem to suck enough air in to level it out. He’s getting dizzier by the second, and his brain is tellinghim how nice it would be to just let the black dots clouding his vision to take over. To escape feeling like he was going to die and to insead choose to close his eyes.

He has never been afraid of dying. Death was just another thing, and with who his father was, it was never scary. If he died, he doubted anyone would care, he wouldn’t even care. Then maybe, he could find Bianca again, in her new life. He could look after her like how she used to do for him.

Nico felt like he was dying, the oxygen in his lungs getting fainter and fainter, and with the fatigue taking over he finally decided to lay down and rest.

—

He doesn’t wake up until that night. It’s 6, nearing 7, and there’s a pounding in his head. His body feels weak as he tries to stretch out, like his limbs are lagging behind his brain and what he’s telling them to do. He feels heavy, like he has sacks of sand tyng him down on every joint.

It takes him second to realize what woke him up in the first place. Someone’s insistently banging on the door of his cabin.

“Nico.” Will tiredly calls out. He sounds annoyed, Nico thinks. He doesn’t have the energy to respond though. He doesn’t really want to anyways. The knocking doesn’t stop.

“Nico!” Will’s voice takes a harsher tone. “I know you’re in there. It’s dinner, let’s go.” Nico still doesn’t move. He thinks about it, comtentplating if it’s worth it or not. He wonders if Will would go away if he doesn’t get a response. Usually he would be breaking the door down by now, but with how they’re been fighting he doubts he’d stay.

He’s right. With one last exhausted yelled, an annoyed sigh, and grumbling that Nico doesn’t even want to try and make out, the knocking stops and his footsteps leave.

He’s alone again. He feels kind of hurt that Will left, then again it’s his fault. And he’s too numb to feel anything right now. He’s felt like that for a while, honestly.

—

The next time he wakes up the sun is rising. His back and neck ache from sleepng in an uncomfortable position for so long, and his right arm is asleep. He hears bells chiming in the pavilion, signaling breakfast is starting.

He doesn’t realize how hungry he is until the thought of food crosses his mind. He groans as he pulls himself into a sitting position. He stretches until his bones pop and he stands up. He pulls on his aviator coat, and some black jeans he finds on the ground. They’re probably filthy, but he doesn’t really have all that much in him to care.

He stumbles over to the pavilion. Not many campers are there at opening time, most making t for just the last half hour. It really only open this early for campers like the apollo cabin who have shifts working in the infirmary. Speaking of the apollo cabin, Nico fails to notice a certain blonde also headingn towards the pavilion.

“Nico!” Will calls, he turns to meet Nico halfway to the pavilion. Nico stops, looking up to meet Will’s eyes. Its an uncomfortable moment of silence where neitherof them say anything. What is there to say? They’re both confused about what’s going on, and who’s mad at who.

How do you start a conversation when you don’t know where you stand with the person you want to talk to?

“Sit with me?” Nico asks. His voice a bit scratchy from how dry his throat was. When was the last time he drank water?

Will has a small smile toying at his lips. “Of course.”

The rest of the walk is awkward. Will keeps reaching out to take Nico’s hand but retracting at the last moment. Nico pretends not to see it. He doesn’t know if he would want to take it. He doesn��t know what he’s feeling.

They sit in stiff silence. There’s a slight rustle from the other campers, but no one is really awake at this hour to be up for a real conversation. They picked up their food on the way in, Nico choosing some bread and cheese, and Will having made himself a fruit cup.

“So…” Nico starts.

“So…” Will mimics. “What’s up?” Nico shifts a little in his seat.

“The sky. The sky is definitely up at the moment.” He says dryly. He keeps his eyes down, staring at his torn apart waffle.

“Nico.”

“Mm?” His gaze is still down.

“What are we doing?” Will sighs.

“What do you mean Willie? We’re having breakfast, and you’re eating something entirely too healthy and colorful for this early in the morning. As per usual.” He does look up this time, locking eyes with the blue ones right next to him.

“That’s not what I meant.” He sighs again. “What are we doing?” He gestures vaguely between the two of them, giving Nico a pointed look. Nico raises an eyebrow back at him. “Why aren’t we talking, why do I barely see you, why do you look worse everytime you come out of that damn cabin?”

Some heads turn towards them, and Nico hardens his glare at everyone around them. Smartly, they all turn around in their seats.

“I don’t know, Will,” he sighs. His hands rub at his eyes tiredly. Their breakfast is long forgotten in return of them staring at each other instead.

“I don’t know either, but I want to fix it. But sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it if you won’t even fucking try.” Will snapped. His hands rubbed at his temples. Nico sat stunned.

“What do you mean I don’t fucking try?” He seethed.

“I mean that I’m the only one who puts any gods damn effort into this relationship.’

“I try Will. I try so fucking hard. I try so hard to make sure you don’t leave, to not scare you away, to keep you from leaving just like everyone else. I’m trying to be who you want me to be just, it’s so hard sometimes.” Nico’s breath hitches, and suddenly his eyes feel like they’re burning. Despite his glaring, more people are entering the hall and more eyes are on the pair. “I’m not doing this here.” He grumbles, and storms out of the hall. Will has nothing left to do but follow.

They end up back in Nico’s cabin. Nico settles himself on the head of the bed, holding his pillow in his lap. Will takes that as his que to sit at the foot of the bed facing him.

“Okay, so you try.” Will starts. Nico glares at him.

“Yes, I fucking try.”

“But you try to be who you think I want you to be?” Will’s surprisingly calm, his voice leveled out and speaking monotone. The way he would when reading injuries of a patient off a clipboard. Detatched.

“Obviously.” Nico deadpans.

“Don’t.” And the one word shatters Nico’s entire reality.

“What?”

“Don’t do that.” Will says it like it’s simple. “Nico. I’m dating you. I’m dating who you are. I’m dating the guy I meant in those three days in the infirmary. Not whoever you’re trying to make yourself.”

Nico didn’t know what to say. That’s all it took? Be himself? Surely not, not if his shitty communication and lack of words at the worst times were anything to go by. Not when that’s what pisses off Will the most and makes him think he doesn’t care.

“I don’t understand.” Is what he ends up saying. Will sighs, shuffling closer on the bed. Not quite touching, but if Nico reached out he could grab Will’s hand.

“Let me spell it out for you,” he says, and he does grab Nico’s hand this time. “I. Like. You.” I enuanciates each word. “You, Nico di Angelo. You and you’re relentless sarcasm, dry humor, and absurd amount of black clothing. You and your stupid self sacrifical tendicies, the way you’ll always do what you believe is right, the insane amount of McDonalds you eat even though it’s extremely unhealthy.” Will smiles a bit. “I like you for you. The you I know.”

“But you don’t know know me, Will. You don’t know my entire past, or all my problems, or all my secrets. You don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?” Will tilts his head to side in question, reminding Nico of a golden retriever. Gods, Nico wants to kiss him.

“I’m worthless, Will. The real me? I’m worth nothing.”

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.” Will’s hand leaves Nico’s, moving up to cup his face instead. Nico leans into it. “Not to me. To me you’re worth everything, Neeks.”

And Nico melts, he’s never been anyone’s world before. Not since Bianca. Or his mama. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this cared for.

“Let me get to know you, Nico. All of you. Everything about you that you think is important, all the little things. I want to know about your past, your present, what you plan to do in the future. I want to know your favorite book and your favorite color. I want to know what brand of hoodies you like and what foods are your favorite. I want to tell you that I love you, and for you to believe me because you aren’t hiding anything. I want to show you that you aren’t worthless Nico. You are so much more than worthless.”

And Nico spills. He tells him everything. Everything about his sister and his mom. What it was like in the Lotus. He tells him about the first time he summoned the dead and met Hazel. He tells him his favorite parts about training, the tattoos he wants in the future. He tells him that the first time he laid eyes on Will he thought of the sun dancing along the horizon. The beautiful yellows and oranges and reds painting on the sky. He tells him how he couldn’t look away from those eyes, the ones that made him feel whole. How one look at Will made his life seem so much brighter.

Nico talks and Will laughs and cries and feels with him. And Nico has never felt so special and loved. He’s never felt so important. Being treated as a person and not a tool or a pawn or a freak.

He feels whole.

“Thank you.” He whispers. And Will shushes him.

“Don’t thank me, Sunshine. I love you.”

And Nico believes him.

#solangelo #toa #pjo #hoo #will solace #nico di angelo #hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #if you squint at the end #nico sucks at communicating #i do too #which is fitting because my name is also nico #nico writes #peanut writes #request

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himynameis4 · 1 year

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@bottomlessabyssposts hiiiiiiiiiii! I have. So many things to say ab Bianca but I wanted to share at least a lil bit even if i cannt write them all down??? The thing is, like, MOST of it is written down but not necessarily in a way that’s coherent to anyone except me RIP, so i’m going through & looking for snippets that are like. Easiest to understand, y’know? & also with the spot i drew from from canon to arrive at my headcanon—this is sure as shit not “analysis,” exactly, but there’s so much blank space left in the riordanverse (& don’t get me started on rick constantly contradicting his own work—i’m obsessed w/canon compliance or at least canon adjacency so he drives me BATSHIT bc his stuff DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN THE UNIVERSE HE MADE—)

(Also! Hi @chiquitablanquita! We haven’t interacted much yet but i figure pjo is a shared interest so might as well tag you in this??? 🤷. Still getting the hang of tumblr friends/etiquette/mutual-ship lol. This is a no-pressure tagging zone!!!)

Okay. Bianca. I adore her sm. I’ll have to make a series of posts ab her probably to write all my di Angelo headcanon stuff down but I figure—I’m not sure if i should start w/her in Tartarus, her pre-the books, or my headcanon for what happened to Maria that’s soon to be jossed RIP.

I think i’ll start post-move to america, Maria’s death & casino era, & not delve into pre-move to america headcanons just yet? Yeah, that makes sense. Might dip my toe into headcanons for her powers/potential powers tho!

First thing you have to know, i think? Bianca’s fatal flaw is holding grudges. Bianca’s—not Nico’s. Obviously that’s not what killed Bianca in the end… (except, it kind of is. Running from that parent of herself, acting in accordance with it… except that wasn’t the only factor influencing her). So many think her flaw relates to responsibility, accepting it, evading it, etc. But Bianca herself feels her fatal flaw—or at least, one of her major flaws—is holding grudges. Being resentful. Being resentful of her brother, specifically.

She loves Nico. She loves him so, so much. He’s her world. And she hates him. No, wait, of course she doesn’t hate him—he’s her little brother, and she loves him, and it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, it’s just—it’s the little things. (This bit draws a bit from the preview—just that Bianca & Nico shared a bed in the Lotus Casino according to Nico’s nightmare/memory dream sequence, which tracks for me in terms of sibling dynamics). He’s just… he doesn’t get it. How dangerous things are. She protects him from it. And he’s always around, always needing her, wanting to her play his game and help him with homework and hold his hand and—she never gets a moment to breathe. To bond with her classmates, not that she’d been making much headway on that, anyway.

She resents him for getting to be young and innocent and letting her worry about the big stuff and depending on her and following her rules and not following her rules. She tells him not to go watching the pg-13 movies and he’ll listen, mostly—but how are you supposed to parent a kid through making friends? How are you supposed to parent, period?! She knows she snaps at him too much, lashing out—she knows she’s not what he needs, and she feels guilty as hell for it, but also resents the hell out of him for putting her on the pedestal, shoving her in this role. Then she hates herself for resenting him, he’s only ten, and she loves him, he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve her, and all her messy, frustrated love, but she doesn’t want this role. She doesn’t want to be a mother. She’s only 12. And there’s no one to talk to, it’s only him, and he can’t listen to her cry or he won’t listen to her, she needs to be the adult for him, their teachers are next to useless.

It’s worse when he tries to help, not better. When he’s sweet and protective and gives her space…. Because then she’s angry at him for not being able to be enough, to be all she needs, because she doesn’t have anyone else either, and he doesn’t even give her the chance to find others, clinging to her like—like a goddamn boa constrictor. And then she hates herself for putting him in that position, of having to take care of her—she’s the big sister, and he’s so little, and he needs her, and then she’s back to resenting him again, and it makes her want to scream. (Or rather, to run.)

Nico’s different. She knows it. She watches his cheeks bleed red, regaling her of conversation after conversation with a boy in his grade (she’s seen them together. The boy doesn’t seem interested in talking to Nico, but is too shy to tell him so. Her heart breaks for her brother, even as she empathizes with the other boy, but all of it is so… numb. Detached. So she listens and nods and doesn’t say a word). She’s not sure if he knows, if he remembers… but she does. And she doesn’t know how to protect him. She doesn’t know how to help him. Is loving him enough? Can it be? When it’s her messy kind of love, cutting and protective and distant at once?

She ignores him, sometimes. He’ll be having a bad day, or a hard day, or a restless night, or a violent one—it’s written over his face, every time, he’s always been so easy to read (for her, at least). A coiled ball of energy and rage and fear and pain, unable to process it, any of it (is it because she hasn’t taught him how? (How could she, when she’s barely learned herself?)). He lashes out at her, too, you know, for all she lashes out at him, for all he’s young and innocent and sweet and doesn’t understand—she lets him rage and lets him storm off and lets him cry and doesn’t feel a thing. Or—feels dull, dreary, waiting it out like a thunderstorm as opposed to reaching out, asking what’s wrong, asking how to help.

She’s not sure if this makes her an awful person or not. Does she not care? He’s her brother, her world, he’s hurting, and she just—

But it’s also a matter of survival, she knows. Nico feels things, and they fill up a room, they don’t leave space for anything or anyone else. Numbing herself to it is how she gets through, how she can stay calm, talk him down from it… on the days she talks him down from it. But she can’t afford anything else, or else he’d fill her up inside, and she’s have no room left for her.

She needs to be selfish to survive. If she doesn’t survive… she doesn’t know what happens to him, if she doesn’t survive. Her messy, selfish, flawed love is all he has, the shield between him and the rest of the world. So she lets herself be selfish, for her own sake, for his. And she tries to make it to the other side.

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roseunspindle · 2 years

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I just feel bad for both Percy and Nico. It seems one or the other of them must be the “bad guy” in the writing of their relationship?

Both are kids. I think Nico was like 10 or 11 (possibly?) when he first met Percy who seemed super cool and was a demigod and told Nico he was a demigod. But Percy himself was still a kid.

Now, Nico’s feelings of abandonment are pretty obvious, his mother and his father in ways, then they get to camp half-blood and without really telling him Bianca has joined a “girls only” club. So Nico has some trust issues here.

I don’t blame Bianaca, she’s a little kid too, who’s been taking care of her little brother, essentially parenting and when they get to camp half-blood it has to seem like maybe she can let that part go. So she joins the hunters.

Nico, a child, tries to get the person he trusts most right now, to promise to protect his sister. If I recall, Percy tries to say he can’t promise that. 10/11 years old’s often can’t grasp why someone at the ancient age of 14 (who has a sword) can’t do everything.

Bianca steals in the junkyard, and it was for Nico, possibly she did feel guilt about leaving him for both the hunters and the quest? She chooses to be the one to sacrifice herself as she caused the problem.

Of course Nico doesn’t take this well when he finds out. Percy had already been put on a pedestal by him, and there’s the fact that Nico is grieving his sister’s loss. It’s easier to be angry at Percy right now, for it to be someone’s fault, then deal with her death.

A lot of their interactions later come from a miscommunication and misunderstanding of one another and their motives. Percy is pretty loyal (fatal flaw) and he does feel like he failed a little kid, which is awful, Nico lost his only family and any sense of home and has been living amongst the dead, and not very nice dead people either.

We’ve seen that Percy can be awkward, so he’s awkward with Nico and Nico is made of awkward as well, both are kids/teens. Awkward is the name of the game. However, Nico is more emotionally sensitive and probably has a lot of inner feelings about his continued crush on Percy, so the awkward probably comes across as dislike, and Percy doesn’t really know this kid, they’ve had like, three interactions. So he’s also a bit leery.

Nico of course is mad at percy for Bianaca’s death, but odds are knows it wasn’t percy’s fault, so is guilty about that, but he likes percy, and is guilty about that and add in that messed up mind set that he “knows” percy would never like him back and also percy was there when Bianaca died so is liking him a betrayal of her? (grief often makes no sense)

Nico tries to help, then Hades is a dick and kinda ruins it, and Percy is prepping for a big (final battle) and all the pressure is on him, so he’s not the best when he refuses Nico’s help and doesn’t quite trust him.

Again, adults screw up like this and these are kids.

In the next series, Nico belongs to neither camp, and has possibly gotten a bit caught up in his own head (hi, he’s a teenager now) and he doesn’t know what’s going on. So he lies to Percy about knowing who he is.

Then he goes through the trauma of tartarus and being trapped in the jar. Again, Percy is convinced this kid hates his guts, while nico is dealing with new trauma, and his feelings for percy and all sorts of painful emotion stew.

Jason is a good person for Nico to bond with, Jason is very forthright and honest and has no history with Nico, and Nico doesn’t have a mess of emotions regarding him, nor has a crush on him. So their interactions are easier. Nico is pushing at him, and everyone, as teenagers do.

By the end, Percy does not have the information we and other characters have. All he knows is maybe this kid has decided to tolerate his existence. But Nico does still avoids him at all possible. So no, Percy is not going to assume a crush on himself is the cause and assumes (because he was raised in a heteronormative society) that Nico has a crush on Annabeth.

So Nico’s “You’re not my type” comes out of left field for him and we never actually get to see him react or respond to this at all, while it felt to me like Nico (seriously Cupid said “the one you love most”) is protecting his feelings. Like he’s trying to convince a lot of people

I would have loved an actual “clearing the air” conversation between the two.

- their miscommunication tendency is why I like the perjasico ship, as Jason would be a good bridge for them at first and then I think all three would bond over belonging to both camps, being kids of the big three. I dunno -

#blathering #nico and percy #fandom #percy jackson

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petruchio · 2 years

Note

☕️: nico di angelo!!

great character who was low key ruined by fandom...

he was such a good character in pjo and served his purpose as percy's narrative foil (i wrote a meta once that i stand by that he serves to challenge percy's idea of what loyalty to the gods means, because he isn't luke and because percy feels protective over him and guilty over bianca's death -- thus he challenges how percy thinks but in a more complex way than luke can, because luke's solution to things is like, murder, so percy can't really condone anything luke does, whereas with nico he can actually understand where he's coming from. nico in that way moves the plot forward WAY more than basically any other character in the latter half of pjo.)

however ever since he was introduced people just... made it weird??? like it started with thalico (which we KNOW my feelings on) and its just kind of spiraled from there... i have no feelings about him post pjo (because it's hard to have feelings about any pjo character in post pjo books) but like i feel like he just needs a break as a character like YES he is badass skeleton army ghost king but hes also a KID like can we please just let him relax for once

#answered #krownest #☕️ time

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via-rant · 2 years

Text

People Vecna would curse in other universes!

To be clear the people Vecna cursed all had guilt complexes. Max felt bad about Billy, Chrissy felt bad about the guy whose mouth was fucking SEWED TOGETHER by her MOTHER, the nerd guy (I forgot his name, I'm sorry!) felt bad for not doing anything to help that guy from the burning car, and Lucas' friend (I know I'm a terrible person) was probably abused into thinking something he did was his fault. Like his grades as we heard from his thoughts Vecna was reading.

And I have thought about this, like actually thought about this. A lot.

PJO:

Will. A healer. Like a healer comes with the burden of trying to help everyone but you can't help everyone and sometimes people die and he's been doing this since he was a child?! Hello?! Leo. Was literally blamed by his aunt for his mother's death, even though he was EIGHT, and people who he showed his powers to called him a freak and felt guilty because he thinks Percy and Annabeth falling into Tartarus was his fault. Percy. Probably feels guilty about Beckendorf and Luke and Selina and Micheal and Bianca and a lot of people who died during the Titan war and scaring Annabeth while in Tatarus. And Hazel. Feels guilty about ACCIDENTLY waking up Gaea again and Sammy's and Leos death! 😀

(If any of you say "but what about Nico" I swear to God)

Amphibia:

Marcy. Put their two best friends in another world for their own benefits and if you think they didn't feel guilty about it BEFORE they got stabbed, BEFORE Andrias took over Amphibia, BEFORE THEY GOT POSSESSED, BEFORE ANNE SACRIFICED HERSELF read the Journal entrys Matt put on the internet. Anne. Probably blamed herself for Marcy's and Sasha's near death experiences. Sasha. Felt guilty about manipulating Anne and probably about Anne sacrificing herself. And Andrias. Yes I know he's an asshole and didn't deserve a redemption arch but just here me out. Was manipulated by his father into feeling guilty about Leif stealing the music box.

The Owl House:

Amity. Felt guilty about being a jerk to Willow for a while and thinking she's weak and a coward for not being able to stand up to her mom. (Me too Amity. Me too.) Luz. Do I even have to say it? Lilith. Cursed Eda which caused her to accidentally hurt their dad. And Hunter. Probably feels guilty about all the people who were petrified because he was following the wrong person.

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i-spilled-my-soup · 2 years

Text

pre-the last olympian nico doodles

#its big nico and bianca hours #i like to think that nico feels guilty for bianca's death #since she joined the hunters of artemis to escape the responsibility of being a big sister #so now he tries to maintain total independence #and spurns anything that could thwart that aspiration #(i.e. friends and relying on others)#and he wants to apologize to her by bringing her back #by correcting what he views as injustice #for the fates' wrongdoing and his own #its just grief and guilt and anger with nowhere to go #so he channels it into one mission that can be realized #to bring her back to life and offer her the immortality she so sought #even if it's at the cost of his own life #it's all he can do now #the only way he can feel closure is to be of use to the person he holds so dear and feels he has wronged so deeply #he doesn't want his last impression on her to be one of frustration and annoyance #he wants to be more to her than the cause of her death #and he needs her to be alive for that to happen #anyways!#nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #(mentioned)#pjo #pjo/hoo #pjo fanart #percy jackson #pjoverse #nico di angelo fanart #percy jackson and the olympians #soup art

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ghostking1 · 3 years

Note

I don’t really know what you’re into but I asked some of my other percico shipper friends and we made a list of some of our favs :)

•|| Five Times Percy Broke His Phone and The One Time It Wasn't His Fault ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524128

• Percy/Nico

• Rated G

• one-shot

• Words: 5,726

Summary:

As punishment for blowing up the Legions armory Leo is sentenced to work in phone repair for the camps. Normally this wouldn't be too bad, phones these days are pretty bulletproof. Unfortunately, he hasn't thought of the extraordinary circumstances Poseidon’s favored son tends to regularly find himself in. This is one battle the Son of Hephaestus is determined to win. Olympus helped him.

•|| Breaking the Ice ||•

https://www.deviantart.com/leukanthes/art/Breaking-the-Ice-Slash-287857101

• Percy/Nico

• no rating, but I guess G bordering T (?)

• one-shot

• Words: 2,574

[No Summary]

•|| Could Never Imagine ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10703658/1/Could-Never-Imagine

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• 46 chapters

• Words: 103k+

Summary: The war is over Annabeth chose to leave camp to allow her soul to heal, leaving a distraught Percy behind. Soon enough though the girls at camp are coming-on to the twice savior of Olympus. Percy however has no intention of finding a new girlfriend. So how will he get them to leave him be? It's a good thing Nico is around.

•|| Family Dinner ||•

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5439187/1/Family-Dinner

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one-shot/1 chapter

• Words: 6k+

Summary: The fancy invite card read: Welcome to our new home! Please join Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo's housewarming dinner. Please do not feel the need to bring anything. Dinner begins at 6:00pm. The address is 38501 Sunshine Lane, Long Island.

•|| Can I Clear My Conscience? ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250188

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one shot/1 chapter

• Words: 12,222

Summary:

Death Touch: Nico’s powers have gone out of control and he’s killing living beings with a single touch. The only one who can save him is Percy.

•|| Revival ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19287157/chapters/45872164

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: Explicit

• 4 chapters (complete)

• Words: 28,903

Summary:

After the events of The Titan's Curse Nico finds himself struggling to live on the streets. Exhausted, he recklessly uses his powers to take him somewhere safe. He ends up in an unfamiliar cabin and too weak to do anything else he decides to spend the night.

Percy still feels guilty about Bianca's death. He searched and searched for Nico but was unable to find him. Something is sending him visions of the boy though as if to tell him to go find him. At last Nico ends up in a familiar looking place and Percy seeks him out. What follows is something neither of them expected.

•|| on top of the world ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184790

• Nico/Percy

• Rating: T

• one-shot/1 chapter

• Words: 16,175

Summary:

In which Gaea wins and Percy breaks another promise to Nico, and surprisingly, Nico doesn't mind.

•|| The world will never take my heart ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712186/chapters/3646085#workskin

Summary:

where Percy and Annabeth break up, and Percy convinces Nico to move in with him and attend Goode

•|| Sensory Love ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12454985/1/Hitome-Chan-s-Sensory-Love

•Rating: M

•words: 237+

Summary:

Mortal AU where Percy and Nico are best friends, but Nico’s feelings run deeper than that.

•|| Coding and Codeine ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12457018/1/Hitome-Chan-s-Coding-And-Codeine

Summary:

post apocalypse mortal AU where Nico meets Percy in a near dead world, and the two travel the US and fall in love

•|| Seasons Change ||•

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7838989/1/

Summary:

Mortal AU where in Nico and Percy were friends since they were little, but they had a falling out. Nico never recovered from Percy's rejection and neither did Percy. Through a twist of fate, they get a second chance

•|| The love we miss ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087406

Summary:

Canon divergent fic where Annabeth is killed during the days following the second war

•|| World Traverls ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649647

Summary:

a series of amazing fics by awanderingmuse which follow an older Percy and Nico

•|| Kiss a boy in Tokyo town ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/337259

Summary:

Japan becomes the new location for camp half blood after the fall of the United States.Nico comes to visit percy in Japan

while annabeth is still in the US and things transpire

•|| Tribulations ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061345

Summary:

Percy and Nico are caught in an argument between two goddesses and are put to the test. They must prove the strength of their bond to survive or lose their freedom forever.

•ll When the river meets the sea ll•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171134

Summary:

Nico di Angelo should be his best friend. He looks over, meeting Nico’s eyes; Nico, who looks patient and a little embarrassed for some reason, and he thinks, why isn’t he?

Or: Wherein Nico has an incurable case of being a martyr, Percy grows to hate The Muppets, and Poseidon surprises the both of them with a bouncing baby demigod.

•|| Fire escapes and friendships ||•

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17810015/chapters/42019895

Summary:

“So it’s safe to assume you’re the reason she’s stalking around like she’s just sucked a bag of lemons.”

“She called me today.”

“And?”

“She just wanted to chew my ear off. You know, for ruining all her hard work and design for your cabin. And then for suggesting to Chiron that she shouldn’t be allowed to help with the refurbishment.”

Or where Percy and Nico burn the injustice that is the Hades cabin and Percy takes the blame.

Christmas parties, confessions and cozy death traps

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748753/chapters/67921453

Summary:

Ah, Christmas! That magical time of year where goodwill permeates the air, gifts are exchanged, and demigods question if they'll be smote down for singing the less secular Christmas carols! But as Nico will soon find out there are far more nefarious threats than carols this joyous time of year, a threat, in the form of an ugly Christmas sweater.

||• percico authors to support ||•

Likegallows

https://archiveofourown.org/users/likegallows/pseuds/likegallows

Bobinthecomments

https://archiveofourown.org/users/BobInTheComments/pseuds/BobInTheComments

Awanderingmuse

https://archiveofourown.org/users/awanderingmuse/pseuds/awanderingmuse

Midnightinjapan

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightinJapan

anitstar_e(Kailamahine)

https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaikamahine/pseuds/antistar_e

Let me know if you need more~ :)

First of all, thank you so much for these pics. All of these were disgustingly good, like extremely disgustingly good, and I enjoyed them all immensely. But, I figured you'd want to hear my thoughts on them, and because I wanted to share my thoughts on them, so here they are :D

•|| Five Times Percy Broke His Phone and The One Time It Wasn't His Fault ||• -Amazing, a 10/10, one of my favorites, short enough that my attention span never got me distracted, great writing

•|| Breaking the Ice ||• -Another great one, this one blew me away

•|| Could Never Imagine ||• -I loved this one because it showed all of Nico's insecurities

•|| Family Dinner ||• -sooooo cute

•|| Can I Clear My Conscience? ||• -this one was kind of sad but a great healing fic

•|| Revival ||• -showed the Nico living on the streets that we never saw, very well done

•|| on top of the world ||• -dangerous situation where all hope is lost and they can only lean on one another? sign me up

•|| The world will never take my heart ||• -this was a fun fic to read

•|| Sensory Love ||• -this was pretty good, but it had cheating themes which made it hard for me to absolutely adore

•|| Coding and Codeine ||• -loved this au

•|| Seasons Change ||• -this one was a little harder to swallow, it had mature themes in it and there was cheating involved, and I always have a harder time with that

•|| The love we miss ||• -*chef's kiss*

•|| World Traverls ||• -so cute, i love this au, it’s like that could actually happen in the canon book series

•|| Kiss a boy in Tokyo town ||• -percy jackson + japan? yes please

•|| Tribulations ||• -love, love, love, love, loved it

•ll When the river meets the sea ll• -a work of art

•|| Fire escapes and friendships ||• -I really like the change in pov, this fic was really well done

•|| Christmas parties, confessions and cozy death traps ||• -loved embarrassed Nico and the creepy ending

And all the authors you recommended are great! :D

Thank you so much for all your recommendations, they were really fun to read!

#nico di angelo #percy jackson #pernico #percico #percy x nico #nicercy #pjo/hoo #fic rec #fic reccomendations

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thebigqueer · 3 years

Note

Ok, here we go. Dark!Bianca idea. Shortly after the events in the desert, a severely injured Bianca is found by agents of the Titans who were shadowing the quest party off-page. She is brought back to Titan HQ and is convinced to join their crusade against the gods while her friends and family think she's dead. Jump ahead to BotL, instead of Kelli the Empousa, it is a mysterious masked assassin who attacks Percy and Rachel at Goode. The events mostly play out unchanged until Geryon's (1/8)

ranch, where instead of Bianca, it is the ghost of Maria di Angelo who is revealed to be sending Iris messages to Percy about Nico, while also strongly hinting that Bianca's still alive. Jump ahead to Mt St. Helens, Percy fights the assassin again, and during his stint on Ogygia, Percy begins to put two and two together after the assassin demonstrated skills similar to the Hunters. At Antaeus' Arena, the assassin is finally unmasked to reveal a still-alive but scarred Bianca, replacing (2/8)

Ethan Nakamura as the demigod enforcer. Percy is convinced that Bianca is being mind-controlled and goes to Mt Tam to rescue her as well as stop Kronos. However, when he confronts her, Bianca reveals that she's operating of her own free will, feeling vengeful against the gods for robbing her of her life and having pledged her loyalty to her new Titan master. Kronos intends to make Bianca the prophesy kid, promising her the free will she craves so badly as well as promising not to hurt (3/8)

Nico. Going into the Last Olympian, Percy and Nico are both determined to convince Bianca that she's making a mistake, and this time Nico's duplicity is not to simply learn about his mother but to try and summon her spirit to get through to Bianca. At the same time, Kronos gradually starts treating Bianca as less of an ally and more of a tool, and the Titans' actions cause her to have doubts even though she dosen't know what else to do. It all comes to a head in the final battle.(4/8)

Nico returns from the Underworld by himself early, giving Hades an ultimatum to come and fight or hide. Just before the final attack, Kronos sends Bianca to infiltrate Olympus to disable the magic defenses, but Nico arrives to intercept her and make one last bid to save her. They fight, with both begging the other to stand down even as they slug it out. Finally, just as Percy arrives to chase Kronos, the battered siblings' duel ends when Nico gives another ultimatum. He throws down his (5/8)

sword and gives Bianca, now reduced to fear and frustration-induced tears, the choice between perusing her grudge and allowing herself to continue being Kronos’s slave or doing the right thing. Finally able to make a legitimate choice of her own, Bianca chooses to turn her back on the Titans. She still ends up wounded, but unlike Ethan in canon, Nico manages to save his sister while Percy and Kronos have their final battle. After everything ends, Percy petitions for Bianca’s pardon along (6/8)

with the rest of his list, though Bianca turns it down, realizing the harm she almost caused to the person she loved more than anybody else. She is given a reduced sentence in service to her father, and though she does not properly forgive any of the gods that hurt her, she does recognize that the spite and anger she felt would only lead to more death. Nico gets to visit her occasionally, and she starts a road to redemption that Luke never got the chance to take. In HoO, Bianca is (7/8)

more of a background character, but it is she that finds Hazel in Asphodel and alerts Nico to her. Overall, dark!Bianca is an anti-villain who’s affiliation with Kronos is clearly drawn from her pain and grief over the gods’ interference in her life, but her saving grace is her brother. Nico manages to pull her out of the darkness and save her from becoming the same monster Luke became. What do you think? (bear in mind, this is my rough draft) (8/8)

Okay, WOW. Anon, I am actually going to start a petition to make you the new Percy Jackson author because that was such an interesting plot to read.

First of all, I love that you replaced Bianca with Ethan. As interesting as he was in the series, and as much as I loved his character, after reading through your rough draft, I feel like Bianca would have been a much better character to use throughout PJO. Her arc could have been expanded upon and completed thoroughly, and it could have made a lot of sense. Ethan felt more like a representation of "demigods turned to the other side," which I get is the point, but I loved the way you used Bianca because with your plot, her character could have been used so well to properly show how easily the Titan army manipulated kids.

Furthermore, I feel like your plot with Bianca could have been a much better way to use her character throughout the series. From my interpretation, in canon she seemed more like a stand-in tool just to enhance Nico's own character arc and his motives, but your plot for her would have actually given her some kind of foundation and an actual arc for her to go through. You've given her such an interesting character and I think it really provides more justice to what she could have been.

I also love the way that not only did you give her a better arc, but you also enhanced Nico's own arc and the plot, too. Her death in the books seemed more symbolic to him and a turning point in his character, but with her character in your AU, it's both important to Nico and Bianca. You've given her an actual character, and you've set up such an interesting conflict between Nico and Bianca.

Additionally, I love the divide you've created between them. I think that - based on what we know about her in the books - as much as she loves her brother, Bianca also feels very limited with him because of how she's been forced to grow up and be his savior. She understands that he's only a child, though, which I think could also play into her own hatred for the gods - they've not only destroyed her family, but now they're forcing her to take the role of an adult when she's a mere child, too? She was never angry at Nico - she was only ever mad with the gods.

Maybe that's something that Nico also feels bad about, and maybe he tells her about it when they're standing each other down. Maybe she lets him know that she never hated him or felt that he was bringing her down.

Also, I want to add that I adore the way you put them on opposite sides. It sets up such an interesting dynamic to their relationship because here you have two people who love each other so much, but they're on two different sides of a large war. They're both too stubborn to go onto each other's sides, and Nico knows Bianca's only going to get herself into more danger. I just love the potential that has for both of their characters.

I know Percy had a large fear about Nico being another kid to join Kronos' army, so I bet Bianca being on his team would have left Percy incredibly terrified for Nico, too, because he knew how much Nico loved Bianca. Would he have been nervous for Nico's ability to change his mind? Nico knows he'd never join Kronos, but would Percy have known?

And, knowing that Bianca's now on the Kronos side, how would Percy react? Because he felt pretty guilty about her death in TTC, right? Would he feel guilty that she's on the other side now, too? Would he try to reason with her, only to push her further away? I'd love to see how Percy would deal with knowing that Bianca - an important child of the Big Three - would react to her being there. He was already nervous about Nico joining sides, but having Bianca there would have really scared him.

And the part about Bianca finding Hazel instead of Nico? That was mind-blowing. I love everything about that situation because now that introduces Hazel into the narrative of Nico and Bianca's story. My question for you would be how does Hazel's character change now? How does she fit in with Nico and Bianca? Because in Heroes of Olympus she's clearly very insecure about her relationship with Nico and how he views her, but if she actually knew Bianca, how would she feel? Would she feel more left out (knowing that Bianca and Nico have known each other much longer and have a stronger connection with each other)? Would she be distrustful? And how would the three of them adapt to this additional family member? I have high hopes that by the end they would all love each other very much, but I'm just really curious into how Hazel's addition would influence the dynamic of all three.

And, essentially, it all ends into a somewhat win-win situation. Bianca's still living; Nico's got two new sisters; Hazel now has a new family.

I think this is such an interesting concept, and I'd love to read it. If you ever post it anywhere, please do share the link! This was such an intriguing plot to go through and, again, I think this could have been a much better use of Bianca's character.

Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

#WOW #I seriously wish you had a Tumblr because I just know you would post the most interesting takes #anon tag #asks #pjo meta #nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #hazel levesque #rick riordan #riordanverse #nico di angelo headcanon #bianca di angelo headcanon #hazel levesque headcanon #riordanverse headcanon #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #hoo

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rynnaaurelius · 3 years

Text

Titan’s Curse But Make It Time Loop: Nico di Angelo Edition

-Okay so I’m at work and not doing much and who wants to actually edit your shit drafts for your actual WIPs so that they’re less bad? No one, that’s who

-So I had an idea: The Titan’s Curse. Also known as the book where people start to die. It sucks to be a demigod in this book--for the first time in the original series, it really does.

-Not everything is fixed, not everyone is saved, and people start to have to make really tough decisions.

-So we fix it. Not by throwing Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia, or, hell, even Bianca or Grover into the mix.

-Throwing the marginally more grown-up, more trained, and more knowledgeable demigods into the fire, who’d get everyone alive and safe by the third time ‘round? Nah.

-We’re making Nico fix this.

-Because here’s the thing about Nico di Angelo: Sure, he grows up to become a major badass, the Ghost King, so on and so forth. But not yet.

-For now, Nico is baby, a ten-year-old whose experience with any kind of fighting consists of one (1) Capture The Flag game and who’s still half-reliant on Mythomagic to explain what the fuck is happening.

-He’s also got the worst knowledge makeup possible! He knows he’s a son of Hades, which is bad, he knows to stick monsters with the pointy end of swords but nothing else, he knows that Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace are Very Big Deals (But also doesn’t know why beyond parents), and he’s, at best, vaguely aware that there’s some kind of bad prophecy hanging around.

-Also by the end of the book, he’s just been told his last immediate family who isn’t Hades is dead in one of the worst ways possible, and he--pretty irrationally IMO, but Nico’s a kid who has been through a lot recently, so we’re not holding that against him--blames Percy Jackson.

-Literally, you probably can’t pick an angstier or worse choice to run through the time travel trope. I love it.

-We’re making this kid save Bianca’s life via time loop, which happens due to. . .hmm, we’ll say the Fates did it.

-So, Loop 0 = Canon, only at the end of the day on December 21st, after the conversation with Percy, Nico falls asleep only gods know where only to wake up the day he meets Percy Jackson:

Loop 1:

-Nico doesn’t actually change anything meaningful at first.

-Spends most of it shellshocked and not unconvinced the last week (For him, anyway) wasn’t a horrible nightmare; shellshocked and staring at Percy Jackson, anyway.

-(Percy’s wondering what’s up with the silent kid his sister had talked up as a cheerful chatterbox)

-It’s only when Bianca agrees to join the quest for Artemis that he starts kicking up a fuss; demanding to go, screaming that she can’t leave him even more, not again.

-(Bianca hesitates; briefly, enough to remind Nico that she loves him. But she’s not their mother, and she needs this)

-Bianca still dies. Percy comes back pale and guilty. Nico doesn’t yell at him when he returns--he already knows. He accepts the Hades figurine so that he can throw it into the lake.

-He slinks off back into Cabin Eleven and falls asleep, hoping desperately that he gets a third chance.

Loop 2:

-He does.

Loop 3:

-After a very painful death at the hands of Dr. Thorn, Nico, generally being a straightforward person at this stage of life, takes the obvious path this time around: He tries to tell Bianca--who brushes it off as a dream.

-Annabeth still goes over the cliff when Nico takes the initiative of attaching himself and his sister to Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace at the dance. He tries to tell Percy and Thalia when Bianca still joins the Hunt, promising Nico that whatever he saw, she’ll be extra careful.

-(Bianca’s fearful of what Nico's saying, and thinks that if these sworn sisters can’t keep her safe, who can?)

-Artemis gives Nico a speculative look but agrees when he begs her to protect Bianca at all costs.

-He doesn’t get on the quest. Being a reasonable demigod of questionable parentage, he sneaks out of camp.

-He gets caught, because despite being aware of his awesome new powers, he doesn’t know how to use them, and is still a ten-year-old who can barely hold a sword the right way.

-He gives Percy the puppy dog eyes and shows off said awesome new powers. Percy forces him back.

-Nico follows him.

-Repeat until Percy dies saving Nico from the Nemean Lion in Washington, DC.

-Nico can’t find it in himself to be terribly sad--especially when he doesn’t make it much longer.

Loop 4:

-He’s really stuck like this, huh?

-Oh, Di Immortales.

-(Before Percy gets his chest ripped to shreds by a lion and Nico meets skeleton cats, he learned how to hold a sword properly and curse fluently in Greek. Percy probably only meant to teach him one of those things)

-In unrelated news: Having a big crush on a guy who thinks he’s only known you for a couple hours? Terrible.

-Trying to hate the guy who let your sister die when he’s that stupid and nice? Even worse.

-That stupid lion.

Loop 5, 6, 7, 8, 9:

-Nico repeats: That stupid lion.

-Somewhere in Loop 7 he starts to steal supplies out of the camp store when he follows Percy following the quest.

-They forcefeed the lion enough trail mix and frozen ice cream in Loop 9 that they don’t die this time.

-At least until someone called the General shows up and Nico’s dead before he can raise his sword.

Loop 10:

-Nico wakes up in his and Bianca’s room in Westover and starts crying. Bianca tells the headmaster they’re both sick and Nico lets her hold him all day.

-They fall asleep and Nico swears he won’t let her die again.

Loop 11, 12, 13:

-He wakes up and he still can’t get out of bed without feeling that blade cutting between his ribs, burning like it’s on fire.

-Gods, he’s so sorry, Bianca. Dispiace tanto.

Loop 14:

-He can get up without feeling like he’s about to die again. Bianca fusses but assumes it was just a bad dream.

-Nico is caught stealing and can’t follow Percy until it’s too late.

-Everyone assumes this means he’s a son of Hermes, however, and Nico can’t correct them without opening his mouth and letting the sobbing laughter out.

-Figuring he’s about to get another chance next round anyway, he takes Travis and Connor Stoll up on their offer to learn a thing or two so that he doesn’t get Cabin Eleven slapped with kitchen duty from now until Doomsday.

-He likes the Stolls. He spent most of the time, pre-looping, actively avoiding everyone at camp as he waited for Bianca and Percy to come back, but they’re not that bad.

-Percy comes back with the figurine and no sister and Nico remembers why he’s stuck.

Loop 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23:

-After Loop 12 and being killed in Washington DC again, Nico realizes: He needs to learn how to fight.

-Unless he gets killed early or refuses to leave Westover, the loop resets after seven days. So, he has seven days to train each time.

-He gets to camp, finds the arena, and meets Clarisse La Rue. He demands she teach him how to kill monsters.

-She laughs, and tells him that attitude in his size will make monsters easy to kill, they’ll laugh so hard.

-Clarisse teaches him how to swing a sword each time--but only after mocking his unamused face.

-Somehow, Percy coming back with news of Bianca’s death only hurts more each time.

Loop 24:

-Nico wakes up before Bianca this time. He looks over at her bed and knows. He’s got to try this time.

-It’s disturbingly easy making friends with Percy Jackson after the last loops.

-Bessie’s new. Cute, but new.

-Nico wonders just how much he’s missed in the past--he thinks of Annabeth Chase, and hopes she hasn’t been dying each time.

-Percy doesn’t even argue when Nico shows up in the stables with a bag slung over his shoulder, and the sword he’s been stealing out of the shed strapped to his hip.

-Nico suggests the ice cream--again--to Percy in DC before

-Nico might be getting the hang of this.

Loop 25:

-Nico is not getting the hang of this.

-Zoë Nightshade’s refusal to accept Percy and Nico on the quest--violating a prophecy, and gods, Nico’s curious if that prophecy ever mentioned this--has so far gotten them attacked and killed by spartoi once.

-And again. As Nico bleeds out on the floor, he watches a panicked blond man--a demigod--plead for mercy.

-Isn’t he on the other side?

Loop 26:

-His name is Luke Castellan and he apparently wants the gods dead.

-Nico can relate at this point.

-The General is Atlas, and Nico knows enough about Greek mythology, real and wrong, at this point to know that is bad.

Loop 27:

-Twenty-six tries, but they finally make it out of DC. Threatening the questers with Atlas killing them all is more than enough.

-For the first time, Nico doesn’t know what happens next. He glues himself to Bianca’s side and glares at anything suspicious.

-With help that Percy refuses to name, even when Nico tries his hardest, they go to New Mexico.

-There’s a boar and it’s so close, they make it to what the others are calling “the junkyard of the gods”.

-Nico sees the Hades figurine on the ground.

-Bianca grins in delight and picks it up, calling for him.

-He can’t help it.

-Nico starts screaming.

Loop 28:

-His sister’s murderer was never Percy Jackson.

-His sister’s murderer was a force of mechanics that makes Nico fully understand, for the first time, what the gods are, beyond stats on a card.

-Talos.

-Nico is going to destroy him.

Loop 29:

-She dies.

Loop 30:

-Again.

Loop 31:

-Again.

-Loop 32, 33, 34, 3536373839FortyFo r t y O n e--:

-Again. Again. Again. Again again againagainagainagainAGAIN--

Loop 42:

-Nico gets out of bed. He finds Percy Jackson at the dance, hugs him, and tells him he’s sorry.

-Nico walks outside and waits for Dr. Thorn in the snow. He can feel the shadows curling at the edge of the wood like a sixth sense, now. Waiting for him to summon the restless dead out of them.

-So many attempts to save his sister, ranging from sacrificing himself to sacrificing Percy--not that Percy needs the push, Nico has found--to any and all members of the quest.

-She dies. Always, always dies. Whatever Nico does, that junkyard is full of the death of Bianca di Angelo.

-He tried avoiding it. Once. Loop 33. Nico threw such a fit he’s surprised he wasn’t sent back to Camp Half-Blood by the Hunters, but it kept them out of the junkyard.

-He tries not to remember how little was left of his sister’s body by the monsters that time.

-Son of Hades. After all this time, Nico’s beginning to wonder if this is what it means. Death and death and death.

-Dr. Thorn walks outside, and Nico can feel a ghoulish grin crossing his face that has no place on a ten-year-old.

-One of them is going to die, this loop. And Nico will not go to New Mexico.

Loop 43:

-Nico wonders if there was a past life of his he needs to remember. Who could he have made this angry?

-He lies to Bianca and they stay in Westover again this time. Better than death, anyway.

Loop 44:

-Nico tries a different tack this time. A more roundabout way of things.

-He takes Bianca and throws the two of them in the way of the battle with the manticore.

-After all this time, he still doesn’t know much about Annabeth Chase. She gets kidnapped and returned safely to Percy every time, to the best of his knowledge.

-Nico dies holding up the sky, but at least Bianca lives, under the protection of Artemis.

Loop 45:

-Nico looks in the mirror and studies the new grey streak with fascination. And, maybe, some hope.

-Things can change.

Loop 46, 47, 48, 49, 50:

-Nico gets kidnapped a few times. Once, he’s killed in a rage by a Titan with horns, but it’s quick. Mostly, he holds up the sky to get Artemis out.

-She looks at him strangely each time and Nico wonders if she can see what he’s done.

Loop 51:

-They figure out he’s a son of Hades. They offer him Olympus. Olympus and Bessie--the Ophiotaurus, rather.

-Nico says no.

Loop 52:

-Nico says yes.

Loop 53:

-Being on the verge of overthrowing the gods and keeping everyone he’s grown to care for--in the case of several Hunters, against his will; in Percy Jackson’s case, Nico loves him as much as he hates him at this point--doesn’t do much, apparently.

-Nico stays in Westover again. He resists the urge to tell Bianca that would-be destroyers of Olympus don’t need to brush their hair, whatever she says.

Loop 54:

-Nico goes over the edge of the cliff again, but with Percy Jackson.

-This isn’t the first time; in Loop 46, Percy had taken the sky for both the sake of Artemis and Nico until it killed him.

-What’s different, is Nico’s in the middle of what’s become the usual panic attack when he’s about to die for the hundredth time, and his powers react.

-Percy holds him close and calls him cousin. Tells him he’ll never leave Nico.

-You have no idea, Nico whispers. You can’t leave me.

-You think I want to? Percy whispers back. You’re not alone, Nico.

-Nico’s sobbing sounds like laughter.

Loop 55:

-Nico tells Percy the truth for the third time. This is the first time he hasn’t told Bianca first.

-They’ve just found the Erymanthian Boar, Thalia’s told Nico his goth needs work--whatever that means--and Nico’s bracing himself for the junkyard again.

-Getting kidnapped by the Titans really gets old after a while.

-He still has the grey streak, and no number of excuses will fully soothe his sister, but the Hunt’s a good distraction from it.

-Nico doesn’t blame Bianca anymore for it. He thinks.

-Nearly a year into this loop and Nico’s finding it hard to blame anyone for much of anything, anymore. Especially when he sees what she’s faced. Again. And again.

-For now, this time, Percy Jackson is staring at Nico with wide eyes at what Nico’s told him--through these loops, Nico’s starting to wonder if he now knows more about Percy than Percy’s own best friends--and says he believes him.

-Once, Nico would’ve exploded from joy. Now, he just sighs and nods.

-Percy tells him how to condense the conversation for the next loop. He advises Nico to research Talos, “like Annabeth would.”

-He advises Nico to warn Percy’s next loop self about Annabeth’s kidnapping. Nico wonders if he’s gone insane that he’s considering it.

-Bianca dies.

Loop 56:

-Nico makes the executive decision this time to try and befriend Annabeth Chase. As such, he takes Percy’s advice.

Loop 57:

-It takes him two tries to befriend Annabeth Chase and learn about Talos.

Loop 58:

-Three times.

-But the nail. The nail in the ankle of Talos.

Loop 59:

-He hangs back at camp again this time and meets Charles Beckendorf, head of Cabin Nine, and son of Hephaestus.

-Nico figures that short of finding the god himself and committing temporary suicide--not that it hasn’t crossed Nico’s mind--his son will have to do.

-(He’s tried his hand at summoning ghosts, but Daedalus refuses to show, for some reason)

-Beckendorf frowns and tells Nico he would have to see Talos himself.

-Nico hadn’t realized just how much cursing he had picked up off of Percy and Thalia until that moment.

Loop 60:

-Nico knows what the prophecy says. One shall be lost in the land without rain.

-He knows it’s why he’s been failing so much.

-The trouble is, he no longer cares.

Loop 61:

-It took him a try, but he gets Beckendorf on the quest, prepared to defeat the Talos prototype.

Loop 62:

-Strike that, two tries.

-Nico really hates the Nemean Lion.

Loop 63, 64:

-Nico has solved half a problem: How to defeat Talos without putting someone inside the robot.

-The other half of the problem is now that they are all electrocuted by a dying automaton for their efforts.

Loop 65:

-Beckendorf’s crush--girlfriend? crush, they’re both insisting--Silena Beauregard comes along this time. Nico won’t complain over the extra manpower, even if he’s positive that eight campers and Hunters are patent overkill for one quest.

-Silena pulls Bianca out of the wreckage. Nico’s heart stops.

-Silena’s crying when she mentions that if they had been a bit earlier, she could have been revived.

-Nico wonders if Thalia’s going to stab him as he starts whooping. And takes notes about where Talos falls.

Loop 66:

-Nico swears, if Percy Jackson tries to sacrifice himself for Annabeth Chase one more time--

Loop 67:

-Bianca.

-I found you, he sobs. I found you.

-Gods damn the Hoover Dam.

Loop 68:

-And again.

-Despite having the distinct inkling at this point that he doesn’t much like like girls, Nico could kiss Silena Beauregard and Thalia Grace when they manage to revive his sister each time.

-She’s shaky and leaning on him and was dead, he could see her soul floating away--

-But she’s there.

-Nico refuses to let his sister out of the sight at the Hoover Dam and Percy befriends the Naiads this time.

-At least, until the Titans--who Nico made the very big mistake of taunting at DC--sends monsters he can’t control.

Loop 69, 70, 71, 72, 73:

-They keep dying in various combinations at the Hoover Dam now that Nico’s figured out how to save Bianca.

-At least, until he gets separated from Percy in Loop 73 and he meets a redheaded girl with a penchant for calling Nico pint-size.

-Athena dislikes Percy, Nico, Bianca, and Thalia in equal measure. Having learned of the Great Prophecy in Loop 16 and Percy’s mooning over Annabeth in. . .well, every loop, Nico can’t quite blame her.

Loop 74:

-Her name is Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Nico likes her. She takes none of their shit and if it weren’t for the fact that they already have eight people on the quest, he’d want to take her along.

-Bianca gets in a fight with the Old Man of the Sea. Thalia electrocutes him when he throws Bianca in the bay.

Loop 75:

-Nico wakes up in Westover with the distinct feeling that he was drowned on dry land.

-He stays in bed shivering, that day.

Loop 76:

-Atlas is the father of Zoë Nightshade. Nico learned this around Loop 50. He had realized around five loops ago that this probably meant she was going to die “by a parent’s hand.”

-He hadn’t realized that it was going to hurt to watch.

Loop 77, 78, 79, 80, 81:

-Now that he’s figured things out to about San Francisco, it seems the world is out to get him. The number of fights or mistakes that he either makes himself or has to head off are ridiculous.

Loop 82:

-Nico is so very tired. And wishes he felt ten years old again.

Loop 83:

-If Thalia gets in one more fight with Nereus, Nico's going to walk into the sea.

Loop 84:

-He wanders off, in this one. Grover had been killed in Hoover Dam, so Nico’s waiting for the reset at this point.

-In the meantime, Nico figures there are worse things to do than enjoy a good afternoon in San Francisco. He even meets a boy in a purple shirt.

-His name is Jason and he has hair like the sun.

-If he ever fixes this, Nico wants to find him.

Loop 85:

-Nico’s not fast enough in the junkyard.

-In San Francisco, he tries to find the ugliest, biggest trouble he can find.

-He finds a pair of teenagers in armor who yell Latin at him instead.

Loop 86:

-There’s a dragon that will attack them in the Garden of the Hesperides if they make it angry enough and Nico is so tired.

Loop 87:

- Zoë Nightshade is dead. They’ve won.

-Funny definition of “win”, considering they’ve all almost died this loop about a dozen times each, and Nico can’t explain why he’s crying on the body of a Hunter he only met a week ago, in their eyes.

-She hates him, some loops. More loops, she looks at him with ghosts of old grief in her eyes and hands him a knife.

-The gods execute Bessie, and then, Nico watches as his father turns to him and Bianca with sorrowful eyes.

-Nico should’ve figured, after almost ninety loops.

Loop 88:

-Luke offers one of them the entrails of Bessie again.

-Nico takes them.

Loop 89:

-For all the good it does. Nico wakes up as he does every time now: Powerless, in bed, and with only a grey streak to show for his efforts.

Loop 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98:

-Nico doesn’t know how to save Zoë Nightshade. Bianca, he could trick and fight his way into it. Beckendorf and Silena and Percy and a loophole in lost could save his sister.

-Her, she just. . .dies. Sometimes in DC, sometimes in San Francisco, sometimes on the hills of Mt. Tamalpais. Always at the hands of Atlas.

-Always, being murdered by her father.

-It’s not as gutting as watching his sister die, but it aches more in his chest, somehow.

Loop 99:

-He sticks close to Zoë this time. Same as he’s done with Percy, Annabeth, his sister, Thalia, and Grover, time and time again. But not her, Nico is realizing. Not the clinging he’s achieving now.

-Hoping for. . .something.

-He knows better than to tell the immortal Lieutenant of Artemis the whole truth. The loneliness is enough.

-She’s less frosty to him from the start than to, say, Grover or Percy, after Annabeth goes over the cliff again. When he shows up in DC, she’s much less angry than he’s seen her.

-Along the way to New Mexico and then San Francisco, he listens. He’s grown better at it, this far in. When the others are asleep, when Bianca is being fussed over after Talos, when everyone but them is asleep by the fire, he listens.

-And she tells him about her sisters. About her father, when the world was young and Atlas had looked on every daughter of his with pride. She tells him, pride glistening in her eyes, of the battles she has seen, the hunts she has overseen at the command of a goddess, the monsters she has killed, and the epithets she has been given.

-He doesn’t ask anything of her. Not until they’re in the house of Annabeth’s father, drinking lemonade the night before the battle, and Nico knows she is about to die again.

-What do you want, he asks. You’ve done everything. What’s left?

-She stopped, ice seems to creep over her again, and Nico wondered if he’d hit some sore spot.

-He’s opened his mouth to make his apologies when she answers, so quiet and quick he thinks he’s imagined it.

-To be remembered. When my lady has taken another lieutenant, as she must, and I have gone to where all gods go when they die, I wish for my memory to remain. And. . .

-Nico waits, and ignores the sudden, terrifying thought that he no longer knows what he wants.

-I wish to see the stars again. I was born a nymph of the sunset; starlight is precious to me. I want to see it again.

-Nico dies to preserve the memory of Zoë Nightshade.

100:

-Nico di Angelo wakes up in Westover Hall. He hopes for the last time.

-He does everything right: Annabeth goes over the cliff, his sister joins the Hunt, Percy is soon his friend, and he convinces Silena and Beckendorf to join the quest.

-The Nemean Lion never stands a chance, and Nico is glad to be rid of it.

-His sister lives.

-Nico watches Percy watch Rachel Elizabeth Dare go, looking like he’s just taken a frying pan to the face, and fights the urge to snicker.

-Thalia doesn’t start a fight with Nereus, but Percy certainly does. Nico could’ve sworn he saw the boy with sun-hair again, watching with curiosity.

- Zoë Nightshade dies in the arms of Artemis and is made into the stars she loves so dearly. Nico promises her soul that he will remember.

-For, he has found, the dead have a tendency of remembering things they shouldn’t.

-Annabeth and Percy now have grey streaks to match Nico’s, and Nico can’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to explain that.

-It’s closer than he would like, but much less close than other lives with Olympus. The Ophiotaurus is alive and safe, and they are all alive.

-As Nico walks out of the council, he looks off to the side. By the fire is the familiar girl with red eyes--the Lady Hestia, looking much closer to Nico’s age than that of the Olympian she is.

-Besides her are three old ladies. Nico’s heard about them from Percy, in Loops 26, 53, 61, and 62.

-One lady holds a ball of string that is the color of a warm umber. The other is knitting what looked suspicious like socks. The last. . .

-Scissors, in one hand. Just as expected. Nico swallowed.

-In the other, was a knot of burnt string, tied to the socks. Behind her, Nico could see discarded string of all colors: an electric blue, a stormy grey, a black that seems to glisten with the promise of a storm, string the soft, hopeful pink of love, yarn run through with bright copper.

-Glowing threads that Nico could only describe as the color of starlight.

-As he walked out, firmly between Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace, the Hunt of Artemis behind him, Nico hears one last promise:

It is done, Nico di Angelo.

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modawg · 4 years

Text

things to remember :)

(trigger warning mostly for things at the end)

charlie one of percys best friends died on a boat in the middle of the ocean while he was there and then had to go back to camp and tell everyone that charlie had died on a boat in the middle of the ocean while he the son of poseidon was there and he probably hates himself for it every single day

percy probably still has moments where he thinks “oh charlie would love this” or “yo this makeup is so cheap it would be a great gift for silena” or “wheres the dam water fountain” etc and then remembers they all died and is put in a sad mood for the rest of the day like when he thought tyson had died—sometimes it takes someone else to remind him that they have died to remember

percy thought tyson died before he could call him brother

percy watched his mother die then thought she was going to stay dead through out basically 3/4 of the first book

percy watched clarisse one of the strongest ppl he knew and looked up to break down crying after watching silena die

percy was abused mentally physically and emotionally for most of his childhood

percy also watched his mother be mentally physically and emotionally abused for most of his childhood (and she was probably sexually abused as well but he didn’t see that)

percy doesn’t know jason died yet and will probably think his death was his fault bc he didn’t go with apollo on his quest

percy blamed/still blames himself for biancas death

percy watched luke k*ll himself

percy probably beats himself up about not staying behind in tartarus to help

percy has been through tartarus

percy probably hates himself for what happened in nicos childhood

percy probably still feels guilty for leaving calypso on her island and for blowing up that valcano

percy was burned alive and i would be extremely suprised if he didn’t have at least one scar to show for it

after meeting reyna and her sister and hearing what happened he probably feels guilty about that too

percy probably heard/listened to reynas pegasus’s last words as they died

percy has ptsd and i mean every type of ptsd- he sometimes still feels the terrible burning sensation from when he was burned in a volcano he still smells beer from when he was younger he gets frozen in things that happened years ago and he still hears bobs last words when things get too quiet

percy 100000% has panic attacks flashbacks and nightmares about these things not just tartarus and they are 100000% worst at night

when percy does have really bad panic attacks/flashbacks he can be stuck in them for hours and if he doesn’t have certain ppl (his mom or annabeth) to help him out of it he can be stuck in them even longer

percy eats a lot bc he grew up with so little that he feels terrible for not eating everything and is always waiting for when he finds out there isn’t any food left

percy 100000% has depression and 100000% has anxiety/social anxiety he’s just learned how to put his needs aside and take care of other ppl first/instead

percy can be put out of commission for weeks when it gets bad and he’s just forced to lay in bed and cry and feel and not feel

percy feels worthless most times it’s not something he grows out of

percy hates public speaking/hates being the center of attention

percy wonders why he’s still alive and thinks it would have been better if he had just died like he was supposed to-why couldn’t he have just followed that one rule and died like he was supposed to-or that maybe to save some trouble for the future he should just end it now

percy wants to have kids but he’s terrified that he will end up like g*be

percy blames himself for what happened to sally while g*be was alive

percy was bullied for 80% of his life and probably doesn’t like/want/thinks he can make any mortal friends other than rachel

90% of these memories and feelings are probably repressed bc that’s how your brain usually handles big trauma like these and that’s why we don’t see him completely melting down like you think he would

percy has terrible memory bc his brain has cut out large chunks of his life bc they are full of trauma and as a side effect to what hera did

percy hates himself

that’s all just thought y’all needed the reminder :)

i might make a pt 2 for more sad things or some happy/cute things bc percy is my comfort character but idk yet when/if i do i’ll like link it idk

on the next episode of: things to remember :)

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bright-eyes-strawberry-lies · 4 years

Text

No, no, no. I refuse to believe that Nico feels guilty over being gay. Especially because his mother was Catholic. Afraid? Oh yes. Absolutely. But guilty because he’s Catholic? No.

1. Queer people were literally being rounded up and murdered when Nico was a child. You’re telling me that the systematic murder of an entire group of people was less memorable than attending Sunday school a few times?

2. Nico has access to every single dead queer person who ever existed. He spends all of his time with dead people. Putting two and two together means that Nico has talked to a lot of queer dead people and he would know that there’s nothing wrong with being gay (except that people try to kill you for it; which is on them, not you!). Yet somehow none of that stuck even though his preteen/teen years are so formative.

3. As a demigod and the son of Hades, Nico knows exactly what’s going to happen to him when he dies so that Catholic all-queers-go-to-hell literally doesn’t apply. There’s no reason for him to think that some vague metaphysical god is going to damn him for all of eternity.

4. If Nico was to feel guilty about his feelings for Percy (because he obviously doesn’t feel guilty about being Will’s boyfriend so it can’t be that he feels guilty for being gay) then it stems from the fact that he’s been a little shit to Percy since Bianca’s death and almost got Percy killed in the Underworld. Just a little lingering guilt for past behaviors. Guilt over the person he likes, not over his sexuality.

5. How Catholic is this kid? He was like 8 when he went into the Lotus Hotel. He spent two years at an American military boarding school (making him 10 when Percy finds him). You’re telling me and expecting me to believe that by the time he was 8 years old he was already suffering from that Catholic guilt and that NONE of the events after turning 8 changed his mind ever. I’m expected to believe that Nico is still a practicing Catholic who believes the rhetoric enough that he feels guilty over being gay.

Maria di Angelo being a practicing Catholic all of her life? Fine. I’ll believe that. But Nico being brainwashed and keeping up with it even after everything? No. I refuse to believe this. This is bullshit.

#nico di angelo #rr crit #tower of nero #riordanverse #pjo

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gayfrogs03 · 3 years

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Spamming about Nico today, let's go.

In my last post I said that Nico has a lot of reasons to believe that people hate him, and I said this because I've seen post saying that he's just a dramatic emo, and that he has no reason to believe that. So here's a long list of reasons why Nico believes people hate him how it's very easy to see why he says that.

Even before Bianca died, people would often call him annoying, told him to shut up, and would ignore him. Like yeah, he talked a lot and asked a lot of questions, but he was a TEN YEAR OLD with ADHD just learning that he was a fucking demigod, what did you expect him to do, just sit silently and obey orders, the fuck?

His own sister, the only family he has left, leaves him to join a bunch of random girls that they just meet a day ago, basically telling him that he was too much to handle and was a burden that she wanted to get away from.

He was continuously left out of the loop and not told what was going on, despite a lot of it being stuff that he had to know in order to stay alive.

He really trusted Percy, and looked up to him a lot (don't know if his crush develops then or later), he saw Percy as someone safe, someone he could go to, but then Percy breaks his promise to him, resulting in the only family he has left being dead (Yes, it wasn't really Percy's fault, but Nico was ten years old and didn't really see it like that).

They gave on trying to find him really quick when he ran away. If he were anyone else, Annabeth, Grover, Tyson, even if it were Conner, Travis, Selena, or even Clarisse, the search wouldn't have stopped until they found them or their body. But with Nico they only search for like what, two months give or take, but deciding that he was dead and basically forgetting about him. And if I'm remembering correctly they didn't even alert they other campers that he was missing, just told Chiron, and kept it between them like he wasn't even worth it. And if they thought he was dead why didn't they have a funeral for him?? They really didn't care that much did they?

Nico spend months, maybe even a year, trying to contact his sister, only for her to ignore his calls completely. Percy comes, tries it ONCE, and she comes running, ignores Nico to talk to Percy, and when she finally talks to Nico it's basically, "Hey, stop trying to summon me I'm not coming back. And stop blaming Percy, idiot." Then leaves. His own fucking sister.

An evil ghost pretends to be his friend and mentor for a year, trying to get Nico to do evil stuff and kill innocent people, which Nico never does, ends up seeing through all his lies and defeating him all by himself, only for people to think he's evil because of it. Like it's not his fault he was tricked, he had absolutely no one, and no answers to his questions, and when someone comes along offering him comfort and answers of course he's going to take it!

Pan, an actual God, acknowledges every single person in that room, telling them how great they all are and stuff, but completely skips over Nico and ignores that he's even there.

Hades tells Nico that Bianca would have been better, and that he wishes he died instead of Bianca, and from the looks of it that's not the first time he's said that, and Nico thinks the same thing. Having Percy stand there, hear that, and not defend him in anyway, it had to of hurt a lot. Like I get that Percy was angry with Nico, but Nico was twelve years old and still planned on taking Percy to the river like he said. Nico even says before that Hades promised him that he won't hurt Percy, and that he only wanted to talk to him. Percy doesn't care that it's not Nico's fault Hades doesn't hold up his part of the deal, didn't even tell him about his mother like he promised, and remains angry with Nico.

When Nico goes against the GOD of the Underworld to save Percy and take him to the river, Percy chokes the twelve year old, and makes it clear that the ONLY reason his isn't KILLING Nico is because he has no other way out.

He then leaves Nico down there with a God that is angry with Nico and could and would kill Nico with no hesitation for disobeying him with even feeling a little guilty about it.

When Nico is at camp after saving them and convincing Hades, Persephone, and Demeter to help in the war, the campers around down even try to hide their thoughts and comments about him. Saying that he was evil, too skinny, smelled like death, was creepy, a freak, made fun of him for having no friends, saying that they don't want him there, that there was a reason there wasn't a Hades Cabin, made it clear that they didn't trust him. And no one defended him. Again, Nico was twelve years old, hearing all this, it was clear that he was unwanted and and didn't belong at the one place all demigods were supposed to feel safe, wanted, and be part of a family, he wasn't wanted there.

And that's only the things that he's seen himself, like imagine if he knew that one of the only reasons Hazel was able to convince the seven to save him was because he had information for them. They were seriously going to just leave him to die. That's absolutely horrible.

So yeah, Nico thinking that people don't like him, and don't want him around isn't just him being an angsty emo teenager. His whole life people have shown him this, and have made it clear that he isn't welcome, so he distances himself from others not wanting to be a burden or make them uncomfortable just from him existing. He's not being dramatic, he's only using what he has been shown his whole life.

#nico di angelo headcanons

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