#i like wearing skirts in a masc or androgynous way!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genderfluid-culture-iss · 3 months

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for the baby genderfluid tips!!

this could just be me lmao, but DO NOT donate your fem clothes if you feel masc for longer than usual. or vice versa.

keeping a gender journal is something that can be really helpful to actually look back on and see how it changes (and also have proof of fluidity for when you begin to think "hmm actually im just a trans girl. nothing else." no, you probably aren't. you felt completely boy/nonbinary/etc just a month ago, and thats okay.)

basically it can be really hard to embrace that your gender is not static, especially if your gender stays stable for a slightly longer period. it took me so long to stop rotating between "im a girl always" "no, im a boy always" "actually, im nonbinary always" to just admit im genderfluid.

also, make genderfluid content. you don't have to show it to anyone, but sometimes it can really help to make poetry or art or write a story about being fluid and your experience in particular. i have an easy avenue for this since i write fanfiction (haven't published any of it yet lmao) and i just hit my favorite characters with my genderfluid beam and go nuts

follow people who are genderfluid, read genderfluid books, maybe join a genderfluid discord server (there are barely any, so actually maybe make one), try to make genderfluid friends. you are not alone, even though it sometimes feels that way.

if you have plushies or anything similar, make them genderfluid. i have a genderfluid squishmallow who i use she/they pronouns for, and a little husky that switches between he/she. idk it just helps sometimes lol

some of us change gender daily, or multiple times a day. some of us change gender only a couple times a year, or even less. we're all different and that's fine.

tips for presentation:

if you have a day when you can't figure out gender, go neutral clothing-wise

take little things to ease dysphoria if you switch when you're out somewhere (ex. lipgloss, eyeliner, leather bracelet, etc)

if you can, get pronoun pins. seriously, get pronoun pins (or a colored bracelet for subtlety or if you're not out). you can wear multiple at a time, you can switch them whenever you need to. you aren't a burden if your pronouns change. you don't have to stick to they/them to be easy for people.

if you can, get a versatile hairstyle that you can make suit your gender no matter what. if you cant, try to get a hairstyle that makes you the least dysphoric overall.

if you are organized enough, separate your clothes based on gender/what you feel comfy wearing on different days. do not pressure yourself to fit stereotypes. some people can only feel comfortable in skirts when theyre boys, so they only wear skirts on boy days. do what works for you.

it's kinda complicated, but if you can expand your vocal range to sound more fem or masc depending on how you feel, it can help. alternatively, vocal train to make it more androgynous.

keep makeup wipes with you in case you need to take it off part way through being out. basically, make it as easy as possible to be able to change/tweak your presentation if necessary.

this could just be me, but having lots of hoodies in different colors and styles will save your life

sometimes you might have "blender days", which is what i call it when your gender feels like its in a blender in a bad way and you can't tell at all what it is, everything feels wrong, it's changing like every 10 minutes, etc. tbh on these days all i can do is put on sweats and a hoodie and feel dysphoric. listen to music if it helps. do a hobby.

non-clothing items can help a lot. a blue tshirt and jeans can be whatever you want it to be based on what you wear it with. (ex. sneakers/ballet flats, leather bracelet/sparkly necklace, baseball cap/eyeliner)

and lastly: YOU ARE AMAZING. keep being you, keep being incredible, and know that being genderfluid is a gift. be proud to be who you are, have fun, know that you are unique and special and wonderful!! we're ever-changing, and that's awesome. you are precious. i love you.

🩷🤍💜🖤💙

dont wanna link my tumblr, but my name is kiley if you want to attach a name to this!

Okay this is a lot more than I was expecting LMAO /pos

Thank you so much for this Kiley <33 I’ll start working on a masterpost with links to all this.

#genderfluid #genderfluid culture is #genderfluid culture #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq+#anon #anonymous #Genderfluid tips #Baby genderfluid tips #Genderfluid help

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year

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what is androgyny? how do i be more androgynous?

we get this question a lot- a lot of people are curious about what being androgynous means, and what it means to present androgynously. some people believe they want to be more androgynous, but struggle with how to integrate that into their comfort zone. here are some tips and some information on what androgyny is, and how to accomplish it, from an intersex androgyne.

what is androgyny?

androgyny is a state where one's gendered behaviors, presentation, roles, and so on, feature both masculine and feminine elements at the same time. androgyny is not to be confused with total gender neutrality, or genderlessness- androgyny is often times very pointedly "both male and female", and this is the distinction between the two presentation styles and identities.

how can i be/look/present androgynous?

figure out which elements of masculinity and femininity call to you, especially, if you think androgyny, and not gender neutrality is right for you. if you like feminine clothing like skirts and 'women's' shoes, you don't have to forego wearing them just because you prefer to wear men's everything else. the point of being androgynous is to pointedly wear very feminine + masculine things at the same time.

facial + body hair with women's clothing are a wonderful combo, don't be afraid to wear bulky men's jackets, blue collar working clothes, thick flannels, and other hyper masculine clothing with tights, skirts, short shorts, body suits, leggings- creativity is the name of the game. there is no one way to be androgynous, the only goal is to combine masculinity and femininity at once. if you are seeking to gain a completely genderless appearance, you are looking for gender neutrality, not androgyny.

not all men and women dress the same, by the way, so you may just want to take the time to search and look at different men and women's clothing to see if there are different styles that appeal to you. if you are alternative, look into alternative clothing for both men and women, if you are into high fashion, combine elements from both men's and women's outfits- bulky masculine jewelry can change a look drastically, or, delicate feminine necklaces and earrings can make a statement.

have fun with the way you wear your hair. you can do literally whatever you want- try men's and women's hair cuts of all types. you will have a few you hate, but it's worth trying. if you really find that you hate shopping for shoes, you may just be shopping in the wrong gender's section. same goes for any other garment. you may naturally just find yourself wanting to combine mens and women's clothing- let yourself do that. don't feel like you "have" to dress any type of way- literally be free. break the binary in your head that outfits have to be 100% male OR female, masc OR fem

play with combining masculine and feminine names, terms, pronouns, roles, and so on. be a guy who's a wife. be a girl who's a husband, be a male girlfriend, a female boyfriend, a male mother, a female father, etc. combine gendered pronouns and use he/she or she/he together. call yourself both a boy and a girl in the same sentence. break the binary in your head that a person can only use 1 set of gendered terms at once!

drag is absolutely an option here and encouraged- please play around with drag looks. experiment with gender and go nuts with it- be over the top masculine one day and over the top femme the next. wear extremely garish, campy, ridiculous looks that highlight the enjoyable parts of your gendered presentation and have fun with it. don't be afraid of drag, drag loves androgynous ppl

what if xyz men's/women's articles of clothing, being referred to by male/female pronouns/names/etc., being seen as a man/woman make me dysphoric?

androgyny may not be for you- if you are very strongly dysphoric, and struggle with being called by the "opposite" gender's pronouns, names, etc. and struggle with wearing strongly gendered men's or women's clothing, androgyny is not for you. it's totally okay if you need to avoid things that make you dysphoric, just know that in being androgynous, you are adopting both 'male' (andro) and 'female' (gyn-) appearances, roles, presentation, and so on.

can being more androgynous help me with dysphoria?

androgyny can also help you cope with dysphoria, however, if you are in a stage of your transition where you are capable of being okay with being misgendered in a sardonic way, or are okay with seeing your agab as a separate identity, or a part of you, without invalidating your current gender. many trans people do in fact identify as both, or as a "guy who was a girl" or a "girl who was a guy," etc. it's okay if you want to play with both genders once you've lived as both for a while. it's fun. it's cool. it's sexy

how do you find out if you are androgynous/if androgyny fits you? does every androgynous person choose to be androgynous?

every person's journey is different. some of us are born like this- i am intersex and am naturally very androgynous. my body is very much 50/50 "male and female," so to speak. nature did not cleanly put me in one box or the other, i fell right between. so for me, adopting androgyny was a way of coping and healing and being myself- i did choose the labels, but i didn't choose my identity, if that makes sense. i've always been a genderfucker, personally, and i've always loved being "both", a "boygirl" a, a "he-she", a dyke AND a faggot, and so on. just be mindful that intersex people don't choose our traits, so many of us are just born like this and want to be ourselves. perisex people who choose to become androgynous are just as cool and important

if you like being a boygirl, a girlboy, a boy and a girl, a girl who's a boy and a boy who's a girl, whatever the case, you very well could be an androgynous person. the sky is the limit, but just remember that there are some basics. if you are avoiding gendered presentation, androgyny isn't right for you. but if you love combining male and female aspects of gender and being a "both", it could be right for you. good luck, take care.

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sugar-omi · 4 months

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TRANS MASC COVE TRANS MASC COVE (sfw +nsfw hcs pls,, id love your thoughts)

NO BC NOW YOU'VE PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD N I NEED HIM DESPERATELY eta while im in the middle of writing: after this i... i can no longer hold onto my fem!cove thoughts. n i am eating up trans!cove like a starving ANIMAL.

tags : SFW + NSFW, transmasc (ftm) cove, switch cove/reader, some mentions of body/gender dysmorphia, im sure theres 1 transphobe walking around sunset bird so the smallest mention of that clown

SFW

i've been seeing a lotta top surgery scar tattoos on my twt timeline lately, and pls some of them i need for myself bc they're so!!!! pretty!!!!

so i can definitely see him getting tattoos there

not because he wants to cover em up, i just think he sees so many flash sheets over time that he's SOLD

mmm i wanna say that fem/afab!cove would have small boobs

or B cups at most

either way, i almost wanna say that his boobs before surgery wouldn't bother him as much unless someone was sexualizing him or he was exercising n his boobs were bouncing too much or smth like that

even then its usually complaints of, "ugh, this bra isn't supportive..." or something like that

ofc he still has his moments

i also think he only binds sometimes, rarely

doesn't do it often since it's often hot outside, or especially if he's sporty, its uncomfortable

(also looked it up just to be sure) but since he's always on the beach its inconvenient/unnecessary to wear if he can't wear it in the water

but like i said i think he'd be pretty flat/small anyway, so i think he's okay

mm definitely doesn't give up having long hair, or wearing the occasional dress/skirt ofc

but will correct one of the old sunset bird residents if they try and say "see honey, it was a phase, you're wearing a dress today!"

also idk abt yall, n this is more of a general thought, but i feel like step 2 cove's impulse control is. deathly low.

so one day, he has long/long-ish hair

and the next he has a mullet, wolf cut, or buzz cut.

he's so chaotic to me pls

now i've had fem!cove on my mind for weekssss now

so i'm not just saying this

but cove is still buff

thick muscly thighs, NICE ARMS. REALLY NICE ARMS

mm so i feel like he looks pretty androgynous or masc anyway

now im projecting here.

but cove has irregular periods, n they're pretty heavy most the time

or lasts awhile (ok im done projecting. sorry cove</3)

also think he deals with cramps (IM SORRY COVE)

i think his period is the biggest trigger of his body/gender dysmorphia too

although i think fem!cove would hate her period anyway altho tbf who doesnt

he'd definitely appreciate some comfort!!!

bring him another heating pad, your comfiest hoodie or blanket and snacks

he's very happy for the thoughtfulness and the company

step 2 cove would definitely be moved by such thoughtfulness... he's in tears

so after the first time it's a trend to spend time together in his bed, watching movies or something while he's cuddled into your side or next to you in a cove-rrito, all sleepy n comfy...

NSFW

had to stop writing the SFW to write this bc i had a thought

cove laid out all pretty... his chest rising and falling and he's all teary eyed as you're between his legs, eating his cunt until he's seeing stars.

pls his cunt with be so sensitive, and he'd be so pretty to fuck

would shake so much too

his thighs quivering so bad he clamps around your hand

you'd have to hold his legs up so he doesn't nearly flatten your head between his thick thighs

"y/n!" cove cries, his hands tangled in your hair and he's trying so hard not to squish your head between his thighs, but your tongue is flat against his sensitive clit, sucking and bullying the poor button while your fingers make a loud, sloppy mess of his hole.

he whines, hips shaking in your hands.

you tighten your grip on his waist, your fingers digging into the flesh, grumbling irritably around his clit but cove just cries out a loud moan and slurred word, torn between your name, a cuss word, and a cry for god.

you pull of his clit, your fingers still curling against that spongy spot inside his sloppy walls. "stay still, you're gonna crush my head..." you start to kiss his thighs, small kisses turning into you sucking deep hickeys into his tan skin, and that turning into biting.

cove gasps for air, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirms.

"fuck, y/n, please..." he mumbles, tugging at the bedsheets.

you stop the assault on his thighs, leaning up on your elbows so you can give cove a kiss, your lips lazily moving together...

anyway... horny aside for a moment<333

mm i could see cove not getting or really wanting bottom surgery

i think trans cove would be pretty comfortable with his body's appearance overall

and he's probably read into it a lot since it's not like he hasn't thought about it, i could just see him probably deciding its not something he wants

ARGGHH HE'D BE A DEMON WITH THE STRAP THOUGH

ahh. cove holding you down or folding your legs against your chest while he slams his hips against yours...

his strap hitting your poor prostate / cervix, he'd coo about how cute your whines are and that you're making him leak

would definitely upset he can't fill you up w cum

especially if you wanna get pregnant, rambles about how much he wishes he could fill you up with his cum again and again and again...

arghhh fuck imma lose my MIND

definitely takes advantage of those squirting dildos

can at least admire how you look oozing milky lube

omfg definitely wakes up all excited to tell you if he dreamed about it too...

has an array of straps

we already know he has a tentacle dildo or two deep in his closet...

yeah tries them out on you

"don't get tired yet, i have one more.. and it has a knot!!!"

he just likes to experiment on you a little~~ bit <333

ohh please tell him he looks handsome/sexy while you're giving him head

he'll die.

FUCK HE'D GO CRAZY IF YOU RIDE HIM TOO I KNOW IT

yeah he's still the same cute, secretly horny, big crybaby pookie <3333 i love him pls

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden x reader #cove holden #smut #cove x reader #cove x mc #cove our life #cove holden smut #cove holden x mc

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they-them-that · 9 months

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My Trans-Lesbian-Awakening Characters lol

Haruka Tenoh (Sailor Moon)

I believe Haruka was my first introduction to a lesbian and gender nonconforming (gnc) character! Discovering she was a girl along with Usagi and Minako blew my mind. The idea of a masc presenting girl was a revelation and I also found the fact other girls were attracted to her to be enviable, even when I watched the English version where her queerness was erased.

Trixie Tang (The Fairly Odd Parents)

The episode "The Boy Who Would Be Queen" was cathartic for young me. Although the episode was about overcoming gender stereotypes, Trixie's story felt relatable from a trans perspective. Her male persona outside of school and her interests in doing "boy stuff" but feeling pressured to maintain a feminine image for social acceptance resonated with me deeply. It's a shame we never got to see this side of Trixie outside the one episode.

Kaoru Matsubara (Powerpuff Girls Z)

I remember her introduction was her dodging a flock of fan girls on her skateboard. I was immediately pleased that the anime version of my favourite Powerpuff girl was that of a womanizing gender-bending skater girl lol. I felt annoyed along with her that she was forced to wear a skirt in her magical girl form.

Yui Goido (The World God Only Knows)

Even with her out-of-nowhere appearance in the second season, I was immediately enthralled by her princely demeanor and the way she casually blurred gender roles. I had to read her arc in the manga that was tragically skipped over and it screamed trans. Yui's conflict was her being forced to be traditionally feminine. Her body swapping and getting to live as a boy seemed to have given her gender euphoria that when she returned to her body, she started wearing the boys' school uniform, changed her hair to make it more androgynous, and started using "boku" to refer to herself (which is a masculine pronoun). Her personality also becomes a lot more confident, it's like watching a trans masc person finally be able to be themselves! The show may not appeal to me now but Yui was a big comfort character.

Mettaton (Undertale)

Mettaton's unique and subtle trans story felt so palpable to me that it made me resonate strongly with his character. When I learnt about his backstory, I felt genuine sympathy for him and his cousins. I love his charisma and how much queer energy he exudes!

Pearl (Steven Universe)

Pearl will always be a deeply important character to me for how much she contributed to my queer actualization. I think it's because I grew up with her as the cartoon series ran throughout my entire teenhood that she has been the most pivotal character for me. Getting to see this character who epitomized lesbianism and growth felt integral to my understanding of the queer community and myself.

Special mentions of just my overall queer comfort characters lol:

Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club), Yuu Kashima (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun), Double Trouble (She-Ra and The Princesses of Power), Kou Seiya (Sailor Moon), Carmen Sandiego (2019 version), Ryuko Matoi (Kill La Kill), Frankie Stein (Monster High), Marceline (Adventure Time)

#queer pride #trans representation #trans lesbian #lesbian #sailor moon #sailor uranus #haruka tenoh #Powerpuff girls z #powerpuff girls #ppg buttercup #undertale #mettaton #steven universe #su pearl #the world god only knows #yui goido

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bratzforchris · 3 months

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hi! just saw your requests are now open! soo maybe luke x reader and y/n is questioning their identity (afab) and maybe them deciding they are genderfluid?? and being really nervous, suddenly changing their outfits and style to be more androgynous and luke confronting them about the sudden change, so a little angst (maybe getting some hate online for coming out but luke not finding out until later) and y/n finally comes out and admits their identity fearing that luke won’t except them but him obviously being completely fine with it and just ending in really sweet fluffy cuddles? congrats on 300 followers btw! I love your work, have a great day/night! 🫶🏼🩷

You Don't Have to Hide

❃

Summary: Above!

Warnings: Minor cursing, hints at transphobia, minor argument between Luke and reader

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: Thank you for the sweet request! Please note that I myself am not genderfluid, but I tried to be as respectful and accurate as I possibly can! Enjoy<3

❃

Ever since you were tiny, you had known that you were different from other kids. You had been born and raised as a girl, and some days you were fine with that. But there were others where you longed to be raised like your brothers, playing football and getting dirty. And then there were the really weird days. The days where you felt like neither a boy nor a girl. Being a young child, you didn’t know how to describe the feeling. And so, you pushed it away.

Throughout middle school and high school, you claimed to just be “changing aesthetics” when you would have an off day, week, or month. Sometimes, you would wear a full face of makeup and tiny skirts, and other days you would opt for a plain hoodie and jeans. Luckily, your school had been very accepting and no one really thought anything of it.

You yourself hadn’t really thought any more of it until you started dating Luke. Even then, it wasn’t because of him. Being in a relationship with a very famous rockstar meant that you were constantly in the public eye. And lately, that had been what was practically the bane of your existence. You had decided that you wanted to try more of an androgynous style, that way you could explore your feminine, masculine, and in-between parts without it being so blatantly obvious you were assigned female at birth.

The first thing you had done was cut your hair. You’d had long, blond hair your entire life, which was very pretty, but very, very feminine. You had opted to cut your hair into a bob and Luke had loved the change, telling you that the bangs and layers had made you look very pretty. Having one of your more masc days, you internally cringed at the compliment, but tried not to let your boyfriend notice. You knew you needed to talk to him, but there never seemed to be a good time.

You knew you needed to talk to him, but Luke knew you so well, that part of you hoped he would just catch on and ask you about it. Maybe the easiest way to do that was to really look the part. You had worn Luke’s hoodies and shirts ever since you’d started dating, but you decided to really start taking things to the next level. You began to wear more baggy pants, paired with Luke’s shirts, or skinny jeans and the occasional hoodies and flannels you would steal from him.

For the next month, you were so happy with your change in style. You felt more like yourself, and could take this style and make it more feminine, masculine, or androgynous depending on how you felt that day. You didn’t really feel like anything had changed in your and your boyfriend’s relationship, but then again, Luke had been quite busy preparing for the Sounds Live, Feels Live tour. Unfortunately, 5 Seconds of Summer being on tour meant more paparazzi and more fans being online.

Lucky for you, Luke wasn’t the biggest fan of social media. He would occasionally reply to fans on Twitter and post on Instagram, but for the most part, he stayed off social media. He didn’t even have a burner account like most celebrities had. This meant he wouldn’t see the “news”. Some paparazzi photos of you on a more masculine day had surfaced, and some of the fans were having a field day with comments.

Why the hell does she wanna look like a dude? Luke wants a GIRLfriend LMFAO

Since when is Luke gay lol

This is so unflattering for such a pretty girl what the fuck

You read through each and every hateful comment, criticizing your looks and saying how you weren’t meant to be with Luke. You hadn’t even officially come out as genderfluid online. You had just posted a meme on your story about it, hoping Luke would see it and not thinking such a harmless thing would be such a big topic for fans. You should;ve known that this would be the pitfall of dating the Luke Hemmings. You weren’t crying, no, you were just sitting on the bed in your master suite, frozen in place.

“Y/N, we need to talk.” Luke was thumping up the stairs, his voice hard and blunt.

Luke hardly ever used the voice, and he especially didn’t use it with you. That knowledge just made your heart seize as you quickly closed out of social media, locking your phone and tossing it to the end of the bed just as Luke opened the door.

“We need to talk.” he said again, pulling off his boots and flannel, voice grim.

“About what?” You asked as innocently as possible.

You hated lying to Luke, but right now, you just couldn’t handle any more conflict or criticism in your life.

“About what’s going on. My manager was pissed today,” the blond ran a hand through his flat hair, gnawing on his lip ring. “You had to have seen it, babe.”

Luke calling you babe eased your anxiety a bit, but your heart still thumped rapidly. “I have.”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me?” Luke’s eyes watered. “I’ve been calling you by the wrong pronouns and calling you all feminine terms and buying you lingerie and I had to find out that you’re genderfluid from the press? Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?”

In that moment your heart shattered. Luke wasn’t mad at you. He was hurting for you, most likely beating himself up over not noticing and calling you his girlfriend. You crossed the room in quick strides, wrapping your boy up in a hug as you began to cry yourself.

“I’m sorry, Luke. I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have hidden it from you. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was scared you would get mad. I was scared you would think less of me or leave me.”

You two held each other for a few soft moments, until Luke picked you up and carried you to the bed, still cradling you. “Would you mind explaining, well, everything to me?” he asked softly once you both had stopped crying.

You took a breath to steady yourself before speaking, looking into Luke’s watery blue eyes. “Yes, it’s true. I am genderfluid. Sometimes I feel more feminine, sometimes more masculine, or sometimes in between. I’ve been experimenting with new hair and new clothes lately so I can have an androgynous style. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Hey, hey, none of that,” Luke hummed, wiping a stray tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “So, should I call you my partner now or….?”

You nodded. “Please. I’d like that.” a soft smile graced your face.

“What about pronouns and names?” he asked.

You bit your lip, blushing. “Right now, I like they/she pronouns,” You whispered softly. “And I’m keeping Y/N for now.” You kissed his cheek.

“I love you,” Luke whispered, kissing your lips softly. “Please don’t hide things from me next time. I love you and want to help you because I love you.”

You smiled as you snuggled into Luke’s arms. And if you two snuggled and kissed for the rest of the night, no one else had to know.

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figofswords · 2 years

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I feel like gender nonconformity is often taken to mean like. presenting as the opposite of whatever your assigned gender is. like as an afab lesbian if I want to be gnc that means I have to dress super masc. but I think for me at least gender nonconformity is more about completely divorcing yourself from any expectations of gender presentation one way or the other. I can dress masc or femme or androgynous, I can wear makeup or not and shave my pits but not my legs, I can be whatever I want to be on any given day without regard for what I’m “supposed” to wear. when I first started really thinking about my relationship with gender there was a period of time where I felt to be valid I had to dress really butch or it didn’t count, and if I wore a skirt that meant I’d been faking it. but I didn’t WANT to dress super butch all the time. I didn’t want to be butch or femme or androgynous or or or or, I wanted to wear what I wanted when I wanted. ultimately I gave up trying to pin down and put a name on my gender identity. I said to hell with it all. my pronouns are what they are and I dress however I dress and I don’t owe it to anyone to define any of that. my gender nonconformity isn’t a nonconformity with femininity specifically; it’s a nonconformity with any sort of gendered rules of presentation. and that was a really freeing thing to figure out. and I think that in online queer communities there’s really this pressure to put a label on everything and to identify as a specific thing and to prove your validity within your identity. non-binary doesn’t have to mean androgynous. gnc doesn’t have to mean butch. and I guess this pride month I’m just really thinking about that, that really all that being queer is about is saying a big fuck it to it all and just…existing, however you want to exist. wear what makes you feel good. be whatever makes you feel good to be. to hell with it all.

#ok to rb #idk where this came from I am just musing #I think also there’s this level of like. I deleted TikTok bc seeing the nonbinary teens on that app made me feel….bad #bevause they were all skinny and conventionally attractive and could pass for androgynous #I’m never going to pass for androgynous. I’m all hips and boobs. I’m curvy as hell and my voice is high pitched and I’m five feet tall #and it made me almost nauseous seeing this idea of what non-binary or gender nonconformity was supposed to look like #but in real life it’s not like that. gnc people look like a million shades of the rainbow #and it’s important to not make gender nonconformity into just another box you have to fit into #after taking gender studies classes I came to this conclusion like #its all made up to begin with. it’s real but it’s made up #so if gender is just a set of rules we agreed on as a society #then there ARE no rules and gender can be whatever you make it #and there’s a real relief to that

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pleuvoire · 3 months

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there's a certain flavor of "western fan of yuri animanga complaining that there aren't enough butch characters" that always kinda rubs me the wrong way from a cultural standpoint. it's hard to put into words because like, "masculine women are underrepresented in yuri" is far from an unheard-of opinion among japanese masc lesbians, and the fact of the matter is that masc women are underrepresented pretty much everywhere, but i can't help but feel like some of these twitter girlies are asking why there aren't any yuri characters who show up with a carabiner and a shaved head and a copy of stone butch blues instead of understanding how gender conformity and nonconformity expresses itself over different cultures and what are the stylistic conventions of the genre they're in... i'm always reminded of how someone claimed that the girl from that lime green yuri manga wasn't androgynous because there was official art of her wearing a skirt (they didn't know what a japanese school uniform looks like)

#i also feel like people slapping ''butch'' (western label) onto masc or androgynous yuri characters is a bit myopic #but i'm always posting about what i think wataru from kiva's english-language pronouns would be so i won't be hypocritical #anyway speaking of japanese masc lesbians who talk about yuri you should follow mutsumi natsuo on twitter

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fandomblr · 1 year

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T4T Kiliel Headcanons

Trans! Kili Headcanons

Kili knew he was trans during his early teens and came out to his family, all which were extremely supportive. He realized he was trans since AFAB dwarves often get read as male due to their facial hair, and found that he was so happy when people thought he was a boy, and then he realized he IS a boy!

Dís was extremely proud of him when he came out and made him his first binder. When he told her she shouted to the rooftops, “THANK DURIN, I HAVE TWO SONS NOW!!!”

Fili was OVERJOYED since he had always wanted a brother. He becomes extremely protective of him, and he and Thorin will fight anyone that is transphobic to him and misgenders or deadnames him.

Having a queer family member (Thorin) was extremely helpful since Thorin had an idea of what Kili was going through as a queer person himself (although he obviously can only understand so much as a gay cis man), so his uncle takes it upon himself to be the one to educate everyone on trans issues and on how it’s so important that everyone uses Kili’s correct name and pronouns.

Contrary to popular belief, he is not on testosterone and doesn’t want to go on it. AFAB dwarves already have higher levels of testosterone than non-dwarf AFAB people, so he can easily grow his facial hair and his voice is kind of androgynous, which he is okay with.

He’s non-dysphoric, so he doesn’t feel the need to medically transition at all, but everyone in his family and in Thorin and Co sees him as the man he is regardless.

He binds on certain occasions, and when he does he binds safely and never binds for more than 8 hours a day, and makes sure to not bind while he is in battle or doing any sort of strenuous physical activity that could hurt him while binding.

Again, Kili is non-dysphoric so he doesn’t want top surgery. He gets euphoria from how his chest looks like when he binds but he is okay with his unbound chest too. Besides, top surgery involves recovery time which he doesn’t have as he’s constantly fighting orcs and is on the move ever since the dwarves lost their home in Erebor.

He LOVES to pack. He doesn’t have bottom dysphoria but he gets euphoria from packing, which he does a lot. His prosthetic packers are made by other dwarves so they are incredibly realistic and let’s just say they do their job pretty well. He also likes his packers to be really creative and come in a bunch of funky colors and designs, and he prides himself in that since that’s something that cis men won’t ever get to experience

Al of his community and the dwarves around him are supportive of his gender, the only transphobia he could ever face would be from non-dwarves, but that rarely happens since Thorin and Fili have a reputation of stabbing people that are transphobic to Kili.

He’s very openly trans. He doesn’t want to go stealth and he proudly wears the colors of the trans flag whenever he can. Dís always makes sure to knit him trans pride stuff. He loves being trans and would never want to be cis.

His gender presentation is pretty masc, but he likes dressing in an androgynous way sometimes. Every once in a while he’ll also want to try the pretty boy aesthetic and paint his nails and wear makeup more feminine clothing such as dresses and skirts, but in his day to day he is mostly masculine.

There are definitely more trans and non-binary dwarves, but he doesn’t know them very well, since the ones that he knows of live in the Iron Hills with Dáin, so he’s only ever heard of them.

He passes pretty well when he binds, but like I said he doesn’t bind all the time since he’s constantly fighting orcs and doing strenuous physical activity. So he only passes when he binds, and that’s okay with him. He knows he doesn’t need to pass to be valid, and he always corrects people when they misgender him. He wishes he would get read as male more often even when he doesn’t bind though, but being misgendered doesn’t give him social dysphoria (although it is certainly annoying).

Kili is a straight trans man, he’s only into women, but there were not a lot of dwarf women around him besides Dís (his mom) when he was growing up so he never really got the chance to date until he met Tauriel.

Trans! Tauriel Headcanons

Unlike Kili, Tauriel didn’t realize she was trans until she was well into adulthood. Similarly to Kili, she realized she was trans when mortal men gendered her as female, and realized that being read as female felt so much better than being read as male. But even after she realized she was trans, she spent a long time trying to repress her transness.

All of that changed when she met Legolas and became his friend. Legolas is agender (they use any pronouns but don’t mind when people call use he/him for her), and he taught her that there was nothing wrong with who she is.

Tauriel had a rough childhood. Her parents were killed by orcs so she was on her own until she met Legolas, and Thranduil basically took her in as his adoptive daughter. That’s why Legolas says that he would forgive her if she came back after helping the dwarves.

Although Thranduil did not approve of her as a partner for Legolas, that does not mean he does not respect her. Having a trans kid himself, Thranduil knows how important it is to be a trans ally. He’s also very very gay for Bard, so like Thorin he has experience with the queer community and educates his subjects on trans and non-binary issues. He does not tolerate any transphobia towards her, and he banishes any elf that purposefully misgenders or deadnames her.

Also, Thranduil was DEFINITELY wrong about Legolas and Tauriel ever being a thing. They’re pretty much siblings in every sense of the word, and have never been romantically interested in each other. Plus, since Tauriel is kind of Thranduil’s adopted daughter, that would be incest so no thanks. That’s precisely why Thranduil was so against them as a couple.

At first she identified as non-binary, but as she kept talking with Legolas about gender she realized that she’s a binary trans woman.

Legolas was obviously the one that helped her with her transition since she knew what it was like to question their gender and explore gender presentation. They helped her get feminine clothes, tested out pronouns and names for her, got her breast forms, and talked to her about trans and non-binary issues.

AMAB elves are already pretty androgynous due to their long hair, so that was certainly an advantage to Tauriel’s transition. Sometimes people (especially mortals from Lake Town) had a hard time figuring out her gender before she transitioned, and now that she presents more femininely these mortals are even more confused about her gender, as she looks very androgynous. She doesn’t mind and sometimes finds it amusing when she confuses them, although she does wish she would get read as female more often.

While Kili is non-dysphoric, Tauriel is EXTREMELY dysphoric. Looking back at it, her dysphoria was always there even before she knew she was trans. She just thought that everyone felt like she did. But her dysphoria continued to get worse over the years, and once she realized she’s a woman it actually increased.

That’s why Tauriel had FFS, or facial feminization surgery, (since elves are skilled healers after all, so they would know all about gender affirming surgeries). She has also been on estrogen for about a 100 years. Her dysphoria is a lot better now because of it, but she still has some body and social dysphoria.

At the start of her transition she felt like she needed to be hyperfeminine and overcompensate for her transness. She felt like she was never “female enough” and since she came out later in life, a lot of elves around her would accidentally misgender her and that really hurt her since she has social dysphoria. That made her feel like she had “failed” at being a woman.

Legolas had to explain to her that she hadn’t “failed” at anything, and that other people’s perception of her does not define her. Still, he would ALWAYS correct people when they misgendered her, and anyone that is transphobic to her faces their wrath (and arrows!)

They also told her that she didn’t have to be hyperfeminine to be valid. After Legolas explained this, she became more comfortable not being hyperfeminine 24/7. That’s why her gender presentation today is very fluid. She can be very feminine in some days, dress more androgynously in others, and sometimes she can even present more masculinely.

Legolas has helped her voice train for hundreds of years, so she’s a master at it. That’s why her normal voice today is pretty high pitched and similar to a cis woman’s. However, she can still speak in a deep voice if she wants, and on certain occasions she will use it to surprise people, especially when she needs to startle and distract orcs and giant spiders.

She refuses to tuck even though she has bottom dysphoria. Legolas taught her how to tuck once but it was extremely uncomfortable for her so she never did it again. Besides, she’s not okay with the possible risks tucking can have.

She doesn’t know if she wants bottom surgery or not. It would help her dysphoria, but she’s afraid of how the recovery may go and what the results will look like. And again, surgeries include recovery time and she’s captain of the guard and there are a lot more orcs and spiders to fight than earlier when she had FFS. Although Thranduil and Legolas would 100% support her if she chose to have the surgery and would cover for her in her job, she still feels an obligation to Mirkwood and would not want to take that much time off. So she’s thinking about it. Which is fine, considering she’s an immortal and has all the time in the world.

Pretty much everyone in Mirkwood knows she’s trans since she came out later in life, so it’s nearly impossible for her to be stealth there. However, she does like to go stealth whenever she’s around people that only know her after her transition, and she goes stealth whenever she’s in Lake Town since she transitioned before the mortals there were even born.

Elves have a very accepting attitude towards trans, non-binary, and gender diverse people since most of them are already androgynous. That’s why Mirkwood has a vibrant queer, trans, and non-binary community, so she knows several other trans and non-binary people besides her and Legolas. She feels at home in her community.

Tauriel practically faces no transphobia in Mirkwood at all, considering how Thranduil would banish anyone that disrespected her and Legolas would most likely shoot arrows through them.

However, she has faced a lot of transphobia when she is around Lake Town. The mortals are not as enlightened as elves when it comes to gender stuff, and so many mortal men will purposefully misgender her or not trust her when she says she’s female. She used to get this a lot when she was at the beginning of her transition. She still gets transphobia every once in a while, but not as much now that she has transitioned.

Tauriel never had time for dating since she’s been very busy as captain of the guard. She doesn’t label her sexuality though, as she doesn’t really think about the gender of the people she would date if she wasn’t with Kili. That’s why she jokingly refers to herself as “Kilisexual.”

T4T Kiliel Couple Headcanons

They obviously immediately bonded over being trans, and seeing Tauriel as a visibly out trans woman meant the WORLD to Kili considering that she was the first trans person he’d ever met.

Tauriel actually made Kili have a sexuality crisis for a second, since she is very androgynous and he wasn’t 100% sure if she was indeed a woman. Of course, that other androgynous elf in Rivendell that he said “isn’t that bad” didn’t help this crisis either. But once he confirmed that Tauriel is female, the sexuality crisis was averted and he was sure once again that he is straight.

Tauriel used to hate being trans for a long time. She would envy a lot of her cis female elf friends and wish she could be cis too. She would often tell Legolas that she would give anything to be cis, so she could feel like a “real girl.” Legolas explained to her that that is internalized transphobia, but she couldn’t help how she felt. However, all of that changed when she met Kili.

Seeing Kili be so happy as an out and proud trans man made her realize that being trans isn’t just pain and suffering. She already knew that there are trans people that are happy being trans and loved that about themselves thanks to Legolas, but she couldn’t imagine ever being that way.

Kili helped her be proud as a trans woman, something that she had never felt before. He helped her realize that she is beautiful BECAUSE of her transness and not in spite of it. She had felt ashamed about being trans for so long, but that shame went away after she hung out with Kili during his imprisonment. He taught her that she IS a real girl, and that no one but her can tell her what her gender is.

He also helped her unlock gender euphoria. Tauriel’s trans experience had mostly revolved around her dysphoria, while Kili’s had revolved around his euphoria. One way he did that was by dancing and spinning her around so her skirts would soar in the air. This gives her so much euphoria, and it’s something Tauriel will never forget.

Tauriel teaches Kili how to voice train with the help of transmasc elves in her community so he can make his voice a little deeper since he’s not on testosterone. They voice train together!

Together they discover trans joy and trans love. For instance, she will compliment his packers and he will endlessly woo her about how she is so beautiful that she walks in starlight.

They go to pride together! They go to the pride parades in Erebor and Mirkwood, and when Bard starts the first Lake Town pride they go there too. They also go to the pride Bilbo and Thorin organize every year in the shire.

Thanks to Kili, Tauriel now wears her trans colors proudly. She only does that in Mirkwood, since like I already said she wants to go stealth when she’s outside of it. Kili respects that decision 100%. And Dís always knits her stuff with the trans flag as well.

They do their makeup and paint their nails together too! Tauriel will do his makeup and nails when he has his pretty boy days, and Kili loves to help her with hers when she presents femininely.

Although Kili doesn’t relate to Tauriel’s dysphoria since he doesn’t have it, he is always there for her when dysphoria gets her down. He reminds her of how beautiful she is and affirms her gender constantly. Tauriel also affirms his gender all the time.

Also, Kili never dies, PERIOD. No dying is allowed here. Thorin and Fili also don’t die either, and Bard takes limpë and becomes immortal because I ship Barduil and I make the rules.

Ultimately, they both have very different trans experiences. Kili is non-dysphoric, came out earlier in his life, didn’t know a lot of trans people, hasn’t faced a lot of transphobia, doesn’t want to go stealth, and is not transitioning medically, while Tauriel is dysphoric, came out later in life, has been in community with other trans people, has faced a lot of transphobia, goes stealth when she can, and has medically transitioned. However, they both respect each other’s trans journeys and acknowledge that even though they have different experiences, they are both still trans enough and 100% trans. Because transness isn’t a monolith, and there is no one way to be trans.

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flyin-shark · 10 months

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"Cishet probably". The words of a man who is yet to learn that gender is a circus and clowns can be hot.

Or what I mean is more like.... That's really interesting in a sense, as soneone who is ambiguous/not caring on all levels, I really wanna study the anatomy of the cishet experience. I can't figure it out. Is it like. If you see a person your ability to be attracted to them depends on your current knowledge of their gender? So you could see a person and assume they are a woman, so then you are into them, but then they might turn out not to identify as a woman, and that is a turn-off?

And the other way around, maybe you meet someone and assume they're a guy so it doesn't enter your mind that they could be hot, but then you learn that they are a woman, and then it becomes an option?

I'm really not trying to be offensive so I'm so sorry if I am. I'm just super curious, as a person who was never able to conceptualize gender in myself or others very well. I find attraction complicated as is, and imagining adding the matrix of gender into it is like... Galaxy brain woah h o w ?

Uh. Anyways, good vibes.

(Came to think of it cuz you say you're a top/into bottoms. And like certainly the top/bottom dichotomy transcends gender, but at the same time, I wonder what the "communication" is in there in a cishet context? Does it mean "I don't like getting penetrated by a partner", or is it more about "top energy". And if yes, what is "top energy" in a cishet context?

I really hope I'm not coming across as rude, I'm literally just super curious about people who ID as cishet, so when I run into someone who seems approachable I turn into 12 questions with ....

Also this also is related to the fact that I'm like a dude but in a girl way you feel? Like most people attracted to me are also attached to gnc women, but also if you need to call me 'her' to get off, we probably won't vibe, and as a general rule I do avoid having sex with cishet guys bc if their attraction is somehow contingent on internal misgendering of me, it's awkward. But I'm trying to figure out how that works. )

Sorry I'll stop asking now. I'll get my ND ass under control.

Yes to your first three questions.

So I call myself cishet because first I’m fairly sure that I’m not trans. I feel like a man, whatever that means. I get what I think is a sense of euphoria from doing certain “masculine” things (wearing suits, fixing things, etc.). I don’t like the idea of me wearing a skirt of other typically feminine clothing. I don’t like when people use feminine versions of my name and pronouns that aren’t he/him for me. In all aspects I can think of I’m a man.

As for the hetero part I know I like women. I always have as far as I can remember. I’ve never had attraction to men. Although in the past few years with learning about trans and nb people I’ve had to think more about it. I used to be transphobic in the sense that while I respected pronouns and names I wouldn’t accept that people were their something other than their assigned gender. After learning about the science behind sex and the social dynamics of gender I now fully accept trans and enby peeps. But that means reconsidering what I like about women and don’t like about men.

I’ve seen femboys that I’ve mistaken for women and been attracted to them. After finding out they were boys i was confused but I just wrote it off and didn’t think about it. I saw a lot of enbies that looked more masc or fem and I was attracted to them if I thought they were afab. But then I saw some enbies that were really androgynous and was really confused again. I learned that you can’t tell if someone is a man or woman or other just by looking at them. It’s possible I’m just attracted to femininity and not women specifically. But also women with muscles are hot.

Answering your question about tops and bottoms. After spending time in queer spaces I realized just how boring most cishet relationships are both romantically and sexually. The top, dom, and giver roles, etc are all dumped on the man while the bottom, sub, and receiver roles are all given to the woman. I think most cishets don’t even differentiate between the roles.

My brain still doesn’t comprehend what it’s like to be “a dude in a girl way” or anything similar to that. Like I respect you as a person I just don’t understand how that works. It seems like a contradiction at first but I know boy and girl aren’t opposites.

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this but I wanted to give you some good answers.

#long post #shark sayin stuff #I hope this answers all your questions :3 #dm or ask me if you have more :3

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tiredjams · 2 years

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More T4T Alenoah since people actually seemed to like the last one! :3

Okay so when I said Alejandro had been pretty sure Noah was also trans from the beginning I mean apart from just ; ✨vibes✨, this happened on the way to Japan ;

Noah desperately hiding behind his teammates to avoid Harold and more of their plane facts (Harold thinks they’re friends. Noah does not.) and he’s like ; “THANKGOD they’re gone. Harold’s actually so fucking annoying I will literally kill myself if I have to so much as breathe the same air as them again.” And then Izzy was like ; “oh haha yeah no that guys actually so weird and ! I’m like- so surprised he hasn’t gotten thrown out of the plane yet!”

And then Noah just looks at her super weird and is like ; “Izzy, Harold actually made a twitter post last month saying they prefer they/them pronouns and are more comfortable with androgynous language, at least when we’re not filming, or when talking to the producers” (Harold is non binary and definitely writes think pieces on gender and why we need to break free from these concepts I DARE YOU TO FIGHT ME ON THIS IM PREPARED)

And Izzy is just like ; “oh haha okay theyre so quirky! Anyways like I said; you literally hate them, im surprised they haven’t gotten thrown out of the plane already lol”

And then Noah immediately went back to talking shit (while using Harold’s correct pronouns). And like when Tyler asked Noah’s just like ; “oh, no I don’t respect Harold remotely, I despise them and wish them misery and misfortune and if I never had to hear their voice again it would be too soon. …. But I’ll still respect their pronouns, duh.”

Alejandro was just in the corner like ; 😳. (When he’s a sarcastic know it all but understands disliking someone is no excuse to misgender them >>)

Also cause alenoah friendship REALLY started when they were leaving Egypt and Gwen made a bi joke (which Cody’s obnoxious bisexual ass ADORED btw) Sierra was like ; “oh haha I personally am ✨🥰cOdYsExuAl😚✨” and then Noah from the corner was just like ;

“More like embarrassing. And a lesbian suffering from comp het. But whatever, you’re not ready for THAT conversation.”

And when everyone else was frozen in shock you already KNOW Alejandro was stifling CACKLES. He was also the only reason Sierra didn’t beat Noah up for saying that (he used his big muscles as a shield Les gooo) and whispered to Noah so no one could hear ;

“They hated him, for he spoke the truth 😌” Noah choked.

And then they were friends! C’mon. We see them in the background talking and laughing with each other WAAAY too much for me to buy that they weren’t friendly.

Personally I’m convinced the reason we didn’t get more alenoah interaction was because they were talking a lot about trans solidarity and being obviously in love with eachother, and this queer phobic show just couldn’t handle that smh

(Yes I am insufferable about them thanks for asking!) okay so Noah was taking his testosterone pills one day after he dropped the singing comment and confirmed it, when Alejandro was just like ; oh yeah! I actually used to take the shots lol, switched to patches while on the show” and Noah was like ; “BRO WHY????”

Cause WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT??? (The answer is because Alejandro has issues) but anyways it lead to Noah bringing Heather into the argument so she could help him tell Alejandro ; ?!? No I don’t take my hormones through shots??! I’m waaaay too hot to suffer like that”

Anyways Alejandro and Noah totally just spent that first half of the season bonding over trans masc stuff.

Like Alejandro spent SO much time complaining about how his sweat used to smell like flowers, and how he definetly doesn’t miss the dysphoria but he does miss that.

Noah’s like ; yeah I actually kept some of my skirts because they’re waaaaay more comfortable than pants, but I don’t wear them outside cause then people wanna be queerphobic! Like yeah I’m a guy in a skirt, deal with it.

And they bonded over how they understand misogyny and rape culture in a way cis men really NEED to. And talk about all the male privledge they’ve noticed they’ve gotten (they got overheard and caused several debates on gender theory and politics between contestants that was pretty eye opening for some of them)

Anyways London happens and Alejandro has to get his trans homie eliminated cause he knows too much yeah yeah. So these two were still being petty and bitter, but this definitely happened after the wedding challenge ;

Alejandro and Courtney were debating about which dress had been the best, which then sparked a debate between all remaining contestants on masculinity and stuff:

And in the end Alejandro gets fed up; leaves, AND THEN COMES BACK IN THE V NECK WEDDING DRESS, looking hot AF (just look at slipper slopes fanart if you want a visual) and turns to Duncan, strokijg his soul patch and smirking like ; really chico? dresses make me any less of a man?? then why am i still far more one than YOU.

duncan contemplated on his actions and sexuality a lot that day. And then came away from the experience causing far less micro aggressions :3

And Noah totally saw because Chris definetly rehired him after his elimination (personally I believe he makes a point of firing Noah at least twice a week, it’s a thing at that point) and so he was helping the poor poor overworked (starved crazed desperate) interns in the editing room and was just like ;

Dammit you’re still a slimy eel who got me eliminated and I’m mad at you… but I would REALLY like to make out with you rn unfortunately , this sucks.

Oki! So I have more, and just more trans TD headcannons in general; but this is already a lot TwT lemme know if anyone else wants more.

#total drama #alenoah #total drama world tour #td alejandro #td noah #td heather #td duncan #td harold #td izzy #trans headcanon #td sierra

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dykeinthedark · 1 month

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labels are fake because i've never really identified with any gender presentation label (masc, fem, butch, femme, stem, androgynous, etc) because like 1. i feel like my sense of self is in a constant state of change and i usually just follow the ebb and flow of whatever i feel that day and what if one day i get the whim to wear a dress and makeup and 2. i feel like i'm never doing it right enough because even if i show up to work in my most stereotypically masculine lesbian outfit with the waistcoat and stuff i feel a huge sense of imposter syndrome because i remember how i wore a dress (albeit an unconventional one) to my senior prom (and makeup and cursed evil terrible heels against my will) . but what's funny is that EVERYONE and i mean everyone i know irl calls me a butch lesbian . like my sister and my best friend and my queer women friends all of them and they don't even question if that's how i identify because everyone has collectively decided that i move and talk and act and dress like a butch lesbian . and it makes me have imposter syndrome because what if one day i want to wear makeup like gerard way and dress like gerard way again <- the only time i've enjoyed wearing makeup was when it was red eyeshadow and black lipstick because gerard way . however i got a haircut today (the corky from Bound cut btw) and i've never felt happier and more like Myself than when i look in the mirror. and it's bringing up crazy feelings like the fact that i've never really felt like a girl when i wear a dress i've always felt like a guy in a skirt but everyone made me feel like to be masculine was to be chaste and unerotic but you know what i have never felt more sexy than right now

#does anyone else start thinking about gender when u get high #sorry my recent routine has been ''get high and be on tumblr'' i need to get laid . anyways i just need to get my thoughts out there #i should buy a journal but i love the public aspect of writing my thoughts on tumblr... i'm a performance type life is theatre etc #also unless i say a post is unrebloggable literally everything is rebloggable so if ur feeling this do ur praxis

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genderqueerdykes · 2 years

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hey...got any advice for an AMAB but nowadays identifies as as they/them genderfluid and is really aching for a more non-binary/androgynous appearance to match their genderfluidity?

aww sure, i can try!! i'm gonna give pointers i've observed from my irl transfem friends, as well as my experience as a transfem intersex person. obviously, keep your levels of safety in mind, idk your situation so i understand if you don't wanna go too over the top!

combine "masculine" and "feminine" clothes to create a look that makes people unsure of how to clock you. a lot of my irl transfem & trans woman friends wear t shirts, men's vests, etc. with skirts, tutus. they'll combine dresses with masculine jackets, vests, and other accessories, and it looks stunning, and it's often times genderqueer enough to make people confused so hard they can't figure out how to misgender you LMAO. mix big chunky masc boots with delicate blouses and skirts, mix cargo pants with lacey shirts and crop tops, wear big thick chain necklaces with cute delicate earrings, wear bangles and charm bracelets together with studded masc cuffs, the world is your oyster, seriously, i get the most compliments where i wear my big rugged studded denim vest with a dress, leggings, and giant masc boots :- )

jewelry can be a fun way to show off genderqueerness! there is an amab person who works at my favorite thrift store who looks very genderqueer- big beard, septum piercing, very very large statement piece opal necklace, wears turtlenecks and clothes that hug the body... i love their whole look. wearing big earrings, bold necklaces, bracelets, even rings can help bring a level of ambiguity to your look

experiment with makeup if you feel comfortable! you don't have to go over the top drag looks, you can simply just put on mascara or a little eye liner- seriously, mascara immediately makes you look way different the second you put it on. you'd be amazed at how different you look with the slightest touch of makeup!

if you're not comfortable with skirts or dresses, my transfem friends and i SWEAR by leggings. there are all kinds, you don't have to have super tight ones, there are looser baggier leggings with flared legs at the end that are extremely stylish. i get compliments on my flare-leg leggings ALL. THE. TIME.

if you like button-ups, look for them in the women's section! they have a different cut and have way more options for color, and often times cute feminine flairs that masc button ups lack. you can also get slacks and jeans in the women's section that will change your look instantly- though beware of woman's jeans/pants! the pockets are usually shallow, or sometimes literally just sewn on to look like a pocket, but there isn't one. check the pockets when buying pants from the women's section!

i hope those were some helpful suggestions!! take care, i'm glad you're working things out! very proud of you! hope you figure out a way to express yourself that feels right!

#asks #answers #genderfluid #nonbinary #enby #amab nonbinary #amab enby #genderqueer #androgyny

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stonebutchwritings · 9 months

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i saw your recent post mention gnc femmes and i didnt know femmes can be gnc? omg... i can be femme with facial hair?? when im not explicitly femme dressed? (masc presenting/androgynous/mixed assortment)

thank you for including that, i know it wasnt the intent of your post, it really 0:!!! me though because i look butchy but i feel femme.

also i agree with your post wholeheartedly, and i wish butches were appreciated and loved more and valued for their butchiness instead of hypersexualized and demonized as well.

cw for the d slur! i'll let you know when it's abt to be said~

i think that a lot of femmes are very gender non-conforming! a lot of femmes access this through more brazen sexuality or campiness in their aesthetics, but many femmes also access gender non-conformity through the way they don't shave, the way they carry themselves, etc. I've even seen a post floating around here about a femme who passes as butch during their work shift because of their physical labor-related job, but they, and you, are still femme.

i want to let you know, you don't "look butchy"! you're always looking femme when you're a femme. maybe you're not dressed to your nines, but you do look amazingly femme! it's even more clear when you incorporate the staples of gender non-conformity that you do-- a good piece on this was written by Arlene Istar, a Jewish lesbian writer, about her femmeness.

(d slur in the next paragraph, so you can skip to the excerpt if you'd like, but be warned that the excerpt has a version of the t slur in it! if you want to avoid the d slur in the excerpt too, stop reading after the word "femmy".)

The piece is called Femme Dyke, and it's featured in the Persistent Desire, but I'll put the important excerpt down here. content warning for a version of the t slur!

[ID: I find myself feeling frustrated while writing, thinking you, the reader, must picture me as far more femme than I am. Although I enjoy wearing skirts, I often wear pants. I rarely wear makeup (although I do have a fetish for nail polish), and I proudly wear my facial hair. I neither love nor hate to cook or clean house and have healed (finally) my codependent need to be eternally present for my partner. By nobody's standards am I "delicate, docile, deferential, ladylike, refined, and genteel," as femininity is traditionally defined, although some might argue that I am "soft, tender, and submissive"-- but only under the right circumstances. One friend, trying to reconcile my very assertive presence with my femme drag, called me a transvestite butch! I do not fit anyone's stereotype of a feminine woman, any more than I fit anyone's stereotype of a dyke.

A few years ago, I bought a pai of warm winter boots. I worked in an agency where all the women wore heavy femme drag, and even if I hadn't been out, my differentness was apparent. I wasn't sure if the agency would even let me wear boots to work. I walked into my office, and two male co-workers immediately began playfully whistling. "Ooh,new boots -- how butch," they teased me. Later that evening, I met my lover and another friend, both butch identified. They too teased: "Ooh, new boots -- how femmy," they said. And I suppose that's what being a femme-dyke means. The boys think I'm butch, and the girls think I'm femme. End image description.]

There are a million ways to be femme, and I want to be ecstatically clear when I say that many femmes, especially Black femmes, Indigenous femmes, South Asian femmes, other femmes of color, Jewish femmes (as you can see above), disabled femmes, and tma femmes, have been practicing femininity that wasn't deemed "feminine enough" for ages. they are still femmes, and are sometimes in fact, some of the best femme role models you could hope for!

Also, thank you for your kindness towards butches and the issues we've been having, lately and forever. I hope that this answer can help you feel more recognized and appreciated in your community as well.

#anon #ask #i will be going kind of inactive for pretty much the rest of the day bc i have a life but like. i want to leave on a high note !#i love femmes with all my heart <3 <3 <3 #mine

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pinkest-nekomata · 9 months

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Finally gathering some words around my AFAB femme enbie experience, and a special thanks to the gender dysphoria bible for getting me over the line here.

Probably one of the more surprising developments of my gender journey has been that the more secure I’ve been in identifying as gender vague, gender queer, and nonbinary the more femme I’ve presented.

As I’ve followed what feels good, another key ingredient to gender euphoria to me has been some element of weird.

“I want to get neck tattoos,” I said, “So even when I’m on a zoom call people will know I’m Not Normal.”

I spent the first twenty four years of my life working incredibly hard to not appear weird. I received praise from my parents and adults for being “so mature” (which now I see as a red flag). I developed a constantly self-effacing attitude in social situations, working hard to create an easy conversation for everyone else. I was calm, sharp, self-aware. I would hedge and self-deprecate around my special interests, anticipate and proactively avoid complaints. I hated the arrogance and patronizing tone with which other “smart people” moved through the world.

I leaned into smart casual at work. A-line dresses, a retro bob. I wanted to be seen as fashionable, different, as caring about my clothing—but without spending tons of money or seeming too vain. I now refer to this as “dressing as the type of lesbian I wanted to date” era.

I walked a careful line when it came to femininity. I studied and worked in STEM, meaning the prettier I looked, the less likely I was to be taken seriously.

And as friendly as I was and am, I was also smart, cunning, driven, ambitious—and I wanted to be perceived that way. When I worked as an engineer, I would go out of my way to wear jeans and a polo (which, if I was honest with myself, I hated) to ensure I was taken seriously.

It chafed. I could never quite put my finger on why something felt “off”, even though on paper, dressing more androgynously theoretically should have been affirming to me.

Masculine elements were not foreign to me—I would have dreams where I was a man, and the emotional tenor was always curious neutrality. I had the sense that if I had been born a man, very little about me would be different. My me-ness ran much deeper than that.

When I write, I drift between masculine and feminine perspectives. Writing for me has always been a flow state—an unfolding of parts of myself that are usually suppressed, a safe place to explore emotions and identities and experiences that are unsafe or inaccessible in physical reality. Not everyone who writes the opposite gender inhabits that gender—but I do. I have written whole novels from the perspective of a man—not wondering what it’s like to be a man, but simply existing, expressing, experiencing as a man. (Though, not a particularly heteronormative man, to be fair.)

I never wished to be a man—but I did wish that being perceived as a woman did not bring with it expectations about my preferences and competencies.

It seemed at the time that my experience was well-explained by friction with misogyny, but there were other clues. The wordless not-rightness. An internal flinch whenever I was included in a “thanks ladies” or a “oh a girls meeting”, even at the same time as I felt strangely distant from the more masc-oriented women in my workplace.

I was, on some level, jealous that they were more comfortable in polos and jeans, more awkward in a blouse and skirt.

I felt the most affinity with our office manager, who wore flowing sundresses from Anthropologie and carried herself with feminine strength and warmth.

Meanwhile, I would reach for a dress in the morning and then correct myself—No, you see clients today. Better to be taken seriously.

The shifts happened slowly—and then in lurches. I realized I had ADHD, and then autism. I started to trace all the ways that I’d been compensating, all the signs that I’d never really fit in.

And with great relief, the thought settled over me—“I have never been particularly good at hiding how weird I am.” Now I understand it wasn’t just relief—it was a little jolt of gender euphoria.

I have never thought about gender a cis amount. But my flavor of autism means I think about most things more than most people do, and I had never hated being a girl, and I had never wished to be a man. “Non-binary” had still be framed to me as a matter of androgyny, but terms like “gender vague” and “auti-gender” and “demigirl” started to illuminate my path.

I felt simultaneously a disconnect with my gender and a not-yet-realized sense that my gender was so much broader than I realized—that it included my autism, my weirdness, my enthusiasm, my sarcasm, my interests, my intensity, my me-ness.

The switch to remote work with the pandemic left most of my closet irrelevant. When I was going to bother dressing up, it was for me. I bought goth dresses and thigh highs, mini skirts and crop tops. I reclaimed the adolescence I’d never had. I slowly learned how to do my makeup—something I’d spent hours trying at in high school, then scrubbed off in frustration, more terrified of looking like I’d tried and failed than that I didn’t care to try at all.

And it felt right. And I started getting tattoos—and then I didn’t stop getting tattoos. I donated one batch of work clothes, then another. I figured out I was bisexual and I’d been dressing like someone I wanted to be with, not who I was.

This essay was in part inspired by trying to figure out why I feel such a strong affinity with trans women. “I walked through the valley of gender fuck and emerged in bows and skirts”, I wrote last week, my way of cheering a group of trans women being excited about dresses.

It felt too fraught to say, I get this feeling. I love dresses in this same way. In a trans way. Not in a cis way.

I insisted on wearing a dress to school every day until the second grade, and really the only reason I stopped was undiagnosed sensory issues—when I realized that I could just wear a bike short and a t-shirt and be surrounded in cotton, that became my new obsession.

But I wore dresses in the dirt, dresses chasing bugs, skorts on the soccer field, bows with frogs on them. I knew, from a very young age, that “girl” did not feel quite right—but it did not feel quite wrong, either. And if “girl” didn’t feel right, then that meant I was supposed to be a tom boy and hate dresses and parties and cooking and makeup and dolls—but I didn’t hate any of those things. I just also loved heavy machinery and science and paintball. And, importantly, I wanted to be perceived as someone who loved all of those things at the same time. I wanted the very facts of my presentation to challenge people’s assumptions.

I have thought about, and wrestled with, and chafed at gender in a way that cis women have not. I have felt a rush of gender euphoria in adulthood and have a deep, deep appreciation of how much a skirt, a dress, an eyeshadow palette can mean to someone who is finding themselves in adulthood.

Also, thanks to genetically small breasts and an ED phase, I have also experienced watching my body gain/redistribute weight in a way that is gender-affirming. I can finally buy bras off-the-rack now. (Sort of. 38A is a specialty size, but the right 36B works.)

In retrospect, I can see how I always knew that I was a non-binary person and I was attempting to present in a way that non-binary people are supposed to—androgynous, practical. Dressing femme in a “normal” way felt wrong, too. But femme on my terms—weird femme, autistic femme, queer femme, hyper femme, divine femme—feels right. It feels like it can encompass and express the power, presence, and vitality for which I lacked an outlet for so long.

Alt fashion has given me a way for my gender presentation to say, I am not what society tried to make me. I cannot be told what to be. I don’t play by your rules.

I made a little “wheel of genders” for days I’m feeling indecisive. “Cottage core”, “high witch”, “bubblegum goth” and “athleisure” are a few of the options. And even on sweatpants days, bright pink hair and a rapidly growing collection of tattoos (my own form of bodily transition) are always sure to say, I am not normal.

While I may appear to have gone from subverting stereotypes to embracing (some of) them, my inner journey has been one of attempting to comply with stereotypes and then breaking out of them—as so many other trans people experience.

My goal in sharing this, other than to affirm to myself in so many words, I am nonbinary, is that it might resonate with someone else going through something similar.

I’ve read and read and read through definitions and descriptions of what it’s like to be nonbinary (another distinctly not-cis thing to do), looking for a glimmer of recognition. And slowly I collected those glimmers into a beam of light that’s guiding me now. And I hope my story can be a glimmer for somebody else, too 💕

#actually autistic #autism #nonbinary #enbies #enby pride #enby #trans enby #trans pride #trans #gender euphoria #cw gender dysphoria #gender dysphoria

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corinne-eaglebridge-sso · 4 months

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🐴👥👕 for the character asks!

🐴 [HORSE] -> Since Jorvik is the 'Island of Horses', does your Original Character own/ride a horse? Do they even know how to ride, or could they not care less about horses? If they own a horse, what breed and name?

Corinne owns several horses, and has soulbonded with several of them! Her "main" soul horse, if she had to qualify that, would be Masha, a senior NSH mare.

Zoe owns Kieron, a Jorvik Wild stallion! They just immediately clicked, although the road to him becoming a perfect ranger horse was a long one.

Justin matched Athena to Paladin, a Jorvik Warmblood gelding!

Elaina owns Velvet, an older English Thoroughbred mare.

Feya owns Lunabelle, a Jorvik Warmblood mare.

Everlee owns Memoria, a Friesian mare!

Alou does not own a horse - they don't have the funds or time to keep one, especially since they keep travelling around. They do keep snacks for other's horses around though!

👥 [TWO PEOPLE] -> Has your Original Character formed any special bonds on Jorvik? Be it romantic, platonic, or a third secret option. Who have they bonded with?

Oh boy oh boy let me introduce you to the OC polycule!

Corinne, Elaina, Everlee, Zoe, Feya - and in the future, Athena - are all in a polycule together with a big range of different relationship types! Corinne is queerplatonic with all of them, but getting into detail on each of them would take. A lot. (and also I haven't got a full grip on it yet - I need to make a relationship web I think)

They are, of course, also all soulbonded to their horses. That counts as a special bond, right?

Alou is not currently in a relationship, but they do have their eye on a certain miscreants merch stallholder...

👕 [SHIRT] -> What does your Original Characters style of clothing look like? Does their closet show what group they belong to - e.g. how the BobCats all wear their signature pink club clothing.

Ok so I don't have a full grip on it yet so I'll make this quick and it's likely to fluctuate at points.

Corinne just kind of dresses like I do, I guess. Which is very different depending on the amount of effort she wants to put in. Preference for long skirts and highwaisted pants though.

Athena - very very feminine. Soft colours, tends to favour pastels (especially pink) and white. Looks like she jumped out of an aesthetic moodboard.

Zoe - earth tones, darker jewel tones. Often just whatever is on hand and comfortable. Tends to lean more androgynous to masc, but honestly does not put much effort into presenting a certain way, it just kind of happens. Also often seen in a ranger uniform.

Elaina - warm colours! Comfy, often knitted fabrics. The person you're always looking at and going "are you not overheating?" in summer.

Feya - take Elaina. Now make it opposite. Cool colours. Still comfy, but prefers more flowy fabrics. This is the person you're looking at in winter and going "why are you in a thin top and shorts when it is snowing"

Alou - honestly just very casual. Doesn't really stand out much. Mostly earth tones with maybe some pastel accents. Goes over the top in jewelry though. They have a jewelry business, it's allowed!

#sso #my posts #ssoblr #playing games #asks #corinne eaglebridge #athena peacecry #zoe silverborn #feya elfchild #elaina hawkwatcher #everlee songbird #oc alou

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