#i literally come here to feel better

[findafight]

Not me writing a prologue for a fic I'll maybe never write about Steve being on the Dream Team lmao. I saw a pro basketball player Steve post a while ago and couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyways-

At the end of March Madness in 1989, the scout for the Pacers has lunch with the head coach of a community college basketball team that somehow made it to the first round before being pulverized. They sit across from each other, the coach seemingly a bit overwhelmed but not outright surprised. That's good, it means Jerry, the scout, doesn't have to worry about him freaking out or babbling too much.

The team captain had caught his, and possibly others', eye. Good layups, a few three pointers, solid defence, and a helluva lot of potential add up to someone to keep an eye on, except they can't because the guy plays for a rinky-dink community college and only had one televised game. The only reason Jerry saw the kid is because the Roane County Community College Ospreys had put in a hell of a fight the past three seasons. Jerry wonders why the hell the kid hadn't been offered a scholarship somewhere...not Roane County. Doesn't matter though, because they're here now.

"so. You wanted to talk about Steve?" Says the coach, August Nearaly, a bit weary.

Jerry nods, sipping his coffee. "Yeah. Wanted to get a sense of him before I actually talked to him."

August sighs. "As a player or as a person?"

Raising his eyebrows. "Is he that different off the court?"

"no! No, not like how you probably think. Harrington's a sweet kid, but also incredibly...well, not weird, but. Peculiar? He's got quirks. Bit paranoid, but not in a conspiracy way. In a 'no one should walk home alone in the dark' or 'hey, where'd John go? He was right here and then I did a headcount and he's not?' kinda way. Y'know? Like, they're all adults, but he does headcounts and worries anyways."

"huh. Oookay?"

"it-- I'm not saying this to rag on him, to be clear. It just too a while to get used to. Honestly, it's been good for team building. Makes them think of each other not as individuals, but part of a unit that needs everyone healthy and whole to work."

"that's good. He's a team player."

"oh yeah. It's not surprising, really. He's from Hawkins." August says the name like Jerry should know what that means. It's a town, sure, but other than that... Jerry's at a loss. Maybe something a few years ago about a fire? "He has most assists in Osprey history. Some of the guys joke that he's allergic to the ball."

"He's good on the court?"

"Jerry. I know you're here because you saw the March Madness game. You know he's good. He'd be even better if he could afford those fancy prescription goggles Horace Grant wears."

"seriously? Why not contacts?"

"don't make them for his prescription. You didn't see his interview? Kid's got thick horn rimmed glasses. Too many concussions apparently. God knows how he tells players apart when the jersey colours are similar."

"shit. That's why he was squinting the whole time? I thought he was just stressed."

He shrugged. "eh. Probably a bit of both. He takes it seriously, but not too seriously. Y'know? Half the guys were shitting themselves from nerves and Harrington stands up in the locker room, hands on his hips, and gives a speech worthy of the most melodramatic underdog sports movie."

Jerry laughs. "No shit."

Waving his hands, August nods. "no shit! He says all this stuff like 'we worked hard...we deserve this...we may not win but let's do our damn best. The worst that could happen is we lose, and that isn't the end of the world. So let's go out there and play some basketball!' or something, his was better, and the boys cheer. Then they put in fifty points to one-thirty."

Jerry winces. "Must have hurt, huh?"

August grins. "No way. One of the best games they ever played. You saw it. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't. They played their goddamn hearts out." He leans forward. "My boys don't have the same facilities as the big universities, or the funding to offer scholarships. They're at Roane Community because they want a degree or certificate but have other responsibilities. Parents or siblings to stay close to, jobs to work, people to take care of. They joined my team because they like playing basketball, loved the game and wanted to spend some of their precious time playing it. They put the work in on the court and off it. And we made it to the NCAA tournament because of it. We put in fifty points against the goddamn Michigan Wolverines! The champs! And they knew that. I've never heard of a locker room after an 80 point defeat so happy."

"seriously?"

It's all pride when Coach Nearaly says "yep. They may not be the best basketball players in college, but my god, they're probably the best team."

"because of Harrington?"

"partly. They all contribute, make sure they do things right. It's not a one man show, that's the point. They rally around him, but they all are part of the team, and know it. That's what Steve makes sure. Why I made him captain."

"So, you think he'd be a good pick for the Pacers?" This is, after all, a business meeting.

August nods, picks at his pancakes. "I'll be honest with you Jerry. You're not the first scout to talk to me about Steve."

"really? Who?"

"you know I won't say. But, between me and you, Steve's Indiana born and bred. His wife's planning on getting some lib Arts degree in Chicago or Indy, and your offer might be the deciding factor for them."

Jerry blinks. "He's married? At, what? Twenty-one?"

August nods. "Just turned twenty-two. High school sweethearts or something. Obsessed with each other." He chuckled, a bit ruefully. "I'm a bit jaded but damn. You mention her name? He lights up like the fuckin Fourth of July."

Jerry whistles. "Honeymoon phase gets us all."

"for almost two years? Nah. It's just love." It sounds a little wistful, coming from August. "Anyways. I dunno if the other team is serious about him, and if they are, they'll probably be disappointed. Kid isn't moving out of the Midwest. He's got family here, and is getting a goddamn elementary education degree. He won't uproot his life for a chance at the NBA. But, if you offer. Well. He'd at least seriously consider it."

Humming, Jerry chews his eggs as he thinks. "You think he'd be up for the lifestyle? The road games out numbering home ones?"

There's an air of seriousness when August levels Jerry with a look. "If he doesn't want to, he'll tell you. You gotta give him time to talk to his family though. This offer? It'll come out of left field for him, even if I give him a heads up. You get that, yeah? You want to recruit a kindergarten teacher to the NBA without any build up. He needs time to process that and then see where the people in his life are at with it."

"I guess it is unusual."

"try being the community college basketball coach getting two goddamn calls from NBA scouts. Thought I was hallucinating."

Jerry laughs, counts some bills for the tip. "Thank you. For your time and insights. Let Steve know I'll call tomorrow?"

"will do. He'll still probably drob the phone on you, though."

"as long as he doesn't hang up!"

#Steve Harrington #platonic stobin #steddie #stranger things #qpr stobin #teacher steve harrington #stobin #dream team steve au #listen. famous basketball player steve is friends with lead guitarist Eddie Summons (alias to not be as connected to the who 86 thing) #steve and his friends have a very nice vacation in the summer of 92 to Barcelona..... #literally none of the characters are here its just two randos talking about steve lmao #finda writes stuff #finda's rambles #also hos number is 52 because that adds up to seven hehe #sorry to the guy who actually got drafted by the pacers in 89 but i dont care #also. my experience with team sports is that one time we won handily but felt bad because we didnt play very well and we could FEEL it #and the next game we got pummeled but played so much better and could feel the team come together it was magical

[agentark]

a purely self indulgent whatever this is about a vibe I love

there's just something about an eerie town, a few old friends, a slowly building sense of dread, radio static, an outsider, I think we're being watched, remembering

oxenfree 🤝 the fernweh saga

Aelsa Trevelyan - The Fernweh Saga, Book 1 // The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms // Oxenfree - Night School Studio // Paramore - Figure 8 // Aelsa Trevelyan - The Fernweh Saga, Book 1 // Oxenfree - Night School Studio // Trocadero feat. Meredith Hagan - Contact Redux // unknown // Aelsa Trevelyan - The Fernweh Saga, Book 1

#am I transmitting? is anyone listening? #I literally played through book 1 of the fernweh saga 4 times and went - dang I need to replay oxenfree #come get your loops kids #won't say what kind - time/physical/self inflicted/generational; could be one could be all #being trapped in a gravity well of a place is a true bonding experience #fernweh saga #oxenfree #web weaving #I wasn't gonna tag this but what if I convince someone to consume either of these pieces of media #there's something missing from this but it's probably better than adding 1400 additional photos #it's literally just self indulgent who cares if it's incoherent #I feel like bly manor could fit in here as well #the whole - she would wake / she would walk / she would sleep / she would forget bit #the 'it's you it's me it's us' #the ghosts being trapped at bly and the living always coming back

[hecksupremechips]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #shinjiro aragaki #i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it #that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically #and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks #plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know #and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship #and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live #cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for #youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone #its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back #its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing #kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh #and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has #idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like #akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance #grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together #kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the #meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies

[nateriverswife]

i'm sorry but i cannot get over Light saying that he would LOVE to see how Naomi decides to kill herself

#everytime i think of him. i remember this exact quote and visceral hatred feels my body #it's unnecessary & revolting. why would you say that. she's literally an innocent woman who just lost her fiance #even if you deem necessary to kill her for your plan to create a better world. why would you say that #it doesn't help you in any way. that's just sadism #not going to put it in the main tag because i don't want *some* light stans to come here and pick a fight #there's nothing to fight about. he literally just says that. #d.exe #and i really don't want to talk about his character. this was more about the loml misora who deserved better

[pa-pa-plasma]

bro you are on the FANDOM WEBSITE why are you NOT supporting your fandom creators????? do you WANT us to stop??? do you want there to be no more art & fic?? because that’s what happens when you don’t reblog our stuff. this isn’t a threat, this is a reality. if there is no one here wanting to see our stuff we won’t post it. I’m not trying to guilt trip here, none of us are, we’re literally just saying that if there is no motivation to spend 10+ hours making fanart or 5 years writing a multichapter fic for free then we won’t fucking do it

^this shit? ridiculous. I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REBLOGGED & INTERACTED WITH MY ART! I LOVE EVERYONE WHO ASKED QUESTIONS & COMMENTED!! but so many of these people just liked it & left. this has been getting worse over the years, too. the reblogs to likes ratio has been getting crazier. I create because I love it, but if I have no reason to post, I won’t. fandoms dry up because of this. creators quit because of this.

we just need to stop acting like this is instagram, or that anyone cares what your blog looks like. people don’t see your likes, they see your reblogs. you want that favourite content creator to post more art? you want that writer to post the next chapter of your fav fic?? reblog it. share it. show them you care, because otherwise they won’t. this is a hobby we do for free. you consume our stuff for free. you aren’t entitled to it, so please just reblog, it isn’t hard.

#we aren't asking for money we're asking for you to hit a button #stop being a little bitch #this is tumblr. no one gives a shit about your ''aesthetic'' or whatever #no one even looks at who reblogs what on here #i'm sick of seeing people not sharing works out of spite & acting like wanting attention for our labour is bad #I SPEND 15 HOURS DRAWING YOU BETTER FUCKING REBLOG IT. I'M POSTING IT SO I CAN FEEL BETTER #AFTER SPENDING 15 HOURS HUNCHED IN A SHITTY CHAIR WITH MY WRIST ALL FUCKED UP & MY LAPTOP TRYING TO KILL ITSELF & ME #im not asking to be PAID im asking for you to share artist's & writers' works. we are 99% of the fandom's content #you want more content? fucking motivate us to make it. you are getting it for free. stop being an asshole & fucking reblog it #i'm so fucking tired of people with their cold ass takes #if i EVER like anyone's art & don't reblog it THAT WAS A MISTAKE. I MEANT TO REBLOG BUT TUMBLR GLITCHED OR I RAN OUT OF REBLOGS #i KNOW how hard it is to spend hours days YEARS on something & for no one to care #i am literally just asking for everyone to have some sympathy #like imagine if your employer started complaining about how selfish it is you work for free? that's this #you'd quit that job #YOU CAN'T COME TO THE FANDOM WEBSITE & COMPLAIN THAT FANDOM CREATORS WANT ATTENTION FOR THEIR WORK #EVERYONE WANTS ATTENTION YOU STUPID MANTHING IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING HUMAN BRAIN

[ao3screenshotss]

followed you for ao3

have grown attached to you for your other posts

stay chill dude/dudette

i love you SO much thank you 💕💕💕

#i’m not even kidding sometimes i stress about this and think ‘people come here for ao3 why are you literally over sharing your life’ #and try to make myself feel better by thinking ‘eh if they don’t wanna see it they can just unfollow me’ and while it works it does worry me #so i really do appreciate this thank you so much #replies #anonymous #favourite

[userlaylivia]

i know I just did a comfort shows poll but I forgot a couple I wanted to add lol this is based on my idea of a comfort show whether it's through love, friendship and family or just gives me comfort in other ways! please don't comment why this or that isn't on here like last poll people commented about the office and I don't like that show aside from jim/pam and I hate modern family aside from andy/haley this is my opinion though!!

#please don't come at me with hate because your favorite isn't here lol #all american #er #friday night lights #dawson's creek #friends #this is us #gilmore girls #parenthood #how i met your mother #degrassi #tumblr poll #polls #I'll probably choose friends again because it is literally my number one favorite sitcom!! #and my number one comfort show it always makes me feel better!! #but all american is a big comfort show too and ER and all of these tbh lol #so it doesn't matter who wins because their all amazing shows!!

[min0uet]

what people do not understand about nagito komaeda is that his obsession with hope is not romantic or sexual in nature [i do Not care what the dr3 anime had to say hope this helps] but rather comes from a sort of religious devotion as an extreme coping mechanism send tweet

#theres so much dr3 got wrong about absolutely everything that i feel totally justified in disregarding it honestly #anyway if i could delete one thing from the fandom it would probably be the hopesexual jokes amen #komaeda clings so hard to hope because its literally the only thing he has #you can weather any loss and any trauma as long as you can convince yourself that theres smth better waiting for you at the end of it all #and there usually is. komaeda is way more comfortable when something bad is happening BECAUSE it means something good will happen soon #when things are going well hes a nervous wreck because something bad is coming #this is why he goes out of the way to sabotage himself at every turn because why wait for bad luck when he can just bring it on himself #and get to the good luck part of the cycle #most of his actions in sdr2 make more sense if you look at it through this [very warped] lens #anyway sorry for the extremely long tags i just had a lot of caffeine and ive got the feeling thats to blame here #harold.txt #danganronpa #nagito komaeda

[dallonwrites]

random sunday afternoon thoughts but i think the thing with writing advice isn't only that it's just that -- advice -- but also that most of the time it's really just an intro to some kind of craft theory. like you can see a post about how to write better prose for example and it can give beneficial ideas -- show don't tell, specific language, utilise the senses -- all of these are good as theories on craft but with any theory there are exemptions, there are ways to bend it. you also have to ask why this is a theory in the first place, what idea of good prose does this theory come from? but ultimately the thing is no writing advice can tell you how to work that advice into your writing voice/specific story. so seeing these posts as examples of craft theory rather than advice helped me out a lot because instead of wondering which advice to take on for a story, if i "knew" enough about this writing thing to make that call, i was seeing these posts as an intro to a theory on craft, and then i'm asking myself what i can do with this theory, what can this theory do for my story? where does this theory come from? what kind of story/writer does it consider, what kind does it not?

atm i'm writing a flash in 1st person present which is not a POV i use a lot and before i would read as many resources on 1st person present as possible -- which in itself isn't bad, resources exist for a reason! -- but i'd always get stuck because in my attempt to learn as much about "how to write" something as possible, i would forget the only person who can teach me how to write something in my story is me. those resources do help, but the answer is in my story. and that answer will look different in the next 1st person present story i write. there's a garth greenwell quote i love about drafting that says "if anything i try to forget all considerations of craft or technique, to work from a place as near to ignorance as I can manage". i think part of taking in writing "advice"/craft theory is also understanding the gaps in it that are filled in by your story, what will strengthen and what will weaken it. and understanding writing advice as just craft theory helped me because it's just that -- theory, possibilities with craft -- and isn't meant to answer specific questions about how to write a specific story, and you will also learn a lot more if you let yourself lean into the unknowing that is a natural part of writing. because you don't need to know craft to write, you just need to know what your story needs, and a lot of advice and "rules" are really just intros to craft theory that can help you start to know where to look for your story's answers, rather than giving the answer itself. tldr most writing "advice" and "rules" is just craft theory, and instead of trying to shape your writing to fit "advice/rules" you should be thinking about the ways you can shape theory to fit your writing

#i don't think you need to unpack every piece of advice you read in this theoretical way but i do think its important #when a lot of popular advice does get passed around at what is ultimately an introductory level #for example i see a lot of advice posts on story structure here that are very obviously surface level takes on #western ideas of story structure -- which is why i think its so important to see these things for what they are #which is craft theory. and then thinking okay where does this theory come from who does it benefit who does it not take into consideration #i'm obnoxiously literal about language sometimes but i think advice as a word holds a lot of weight because it kind of suggests that the #person giving it knows something you don't? not that i think people giving out writing advice see themselves that way #but seeing these things as someone sharing writing theory rather than advice/rules makes things feel more balanced to me #and someone may know more about a specific craft thing than you of course. that's why sharing craft and learning from other writers is #such a beautiful thing. but do they really know more about writing than you? #do you know more about writing than them? that's not something you can measure #the person that knows more about a piece of craft theory than you doesn't know how to write your story better than you #i don't know a lot about writing fantasy and someone with more experience will know more about #things like worldbuilding craft etc. building magic systems and lore. #but that doesn't mean they know how to write my fantasy story better than i do. because it's my story. #i can learn from them but what i'm learning is craft theory. not how to write my story. does that make sense #+ i will learn how to write my story by embracing the fact that i do not know how to write fantasy i just know fantasy craft theory #but also im someone who doesnt believe craft rules should exist in the first place lol but that's another post

[dirtytransmasc]

after all the times Rhaenyra lied through teeth, she never got any better at it.

#props to #emma d'arcy #cause her acting is phenomenal when it comes to making Rhaenyra flounder whenever she lies #lukewarm feelings on Rhaenyra Targaryen #anti rhaenyra targaryen #(putting this here for my own safety and well being) #its just so frustrating to see her do literally anything to cover her lies #from murder. maiming. faking ones death. seeking to torture her own little brother. etc. etc. #yet she can't lie to anyone worth a damn #not once has anyone not seen past her lies #like girly... if you and your children's lives depend on you keeping your card house of lies standing #get better at lying #hotd #house of the dragon #rewatching hotd is hell cause every time I do so I notice more and more bones to pick #like the first time theres just so much to absorb you miss a lot of it #but the more you watch it #the more you notice #the more you want to rip your hair out

[kurokoros]

I've been seeing the "endeavor is the best written character in BNHA" take for a while and regardless of if that's true or not (because that's an opinion, not a fact) do the people saying this not think it's questionable or off-putting that the "best" written character is a middle aged man discovering after over two decades that neglecting, abusing, and overall traumatizing his wife and children is BAD and he wants to be a better person now???

#i know i have mutuals that like endeavor. or at least want to fuck him. but come on guys pick a better dilf. have better taste #for the record I don't have an issue with the narrative putting a focus on endeavor #i just think the framing of that focus was garbage #using him as a narrative point to critique hero society and the HPSC was RIGHT THERE. IT WAS RIGHT THERE #ALSO. A L SO. i'm so tired of people being like 'hey this man makes me uncomfortable and I don't like him in the story' #and absolute clowns responding that ' yeah. but he's the best written character in the series!!!' #once again WHY has the abusive father been given the best writing in the series as opposed to literally any of the main characters? #horikoshi chose to minimize the ripple effect endeavor's behavior should have had on society in BNHA and shockingly that's not good writin #also because i know people like to whine about 'p u r i t a n i c a l' views. that is literally not the problem here #i'm not mad that endeavor exists as a character. I like the wrench he throws into the idealistic version of heroism presented early on #i'm mad that the societal issue of men using their wealth fame and power to abuse others is glossed over #in favor of a narrative arc about this dickhead feeling bad and wanting to do better #anti bnha #sort of #anti endeavor #absolutely #fandom.bnha

[risingsunresistance]

blood god techno... drippy :]

#ough i have So Much to say about what's going on here #first of all the bone wing thing is about dragon techno so you can ignore that. that's for me JDHKFH #nether star included in the halo bc hehe nether creature #the eyes represent the voices. they usually either mimic him or just stare at him :0 #they are inspired by yuker bc i loved seeing the eyes always hover around text boxes n stuff in their comics #i would @ them but. well they deactivated. and also plenty of ppl use eyes so feels unnecessary to say ONE person inspired me #still. wanna give credit where it's due lol #THE BLOOD it just kinda generates. it's just Like That. it's not coming from anywhere and it isnt going anywhere #think of it like splatoon ink. just evaporates after a while #''why didnt you color this goat'' he literally just looks like that. think of it like a ghost. or a literal 2d image #casts himself onto walls JHFKFH #this all came from a bunch of different stuff but mostly the fact that everyone started calling him THE blood god #some hypixel lore had me convinved he was a worshipper but some admins and stuff have said things that make me think that's changed #so. the halo was handed down to him. title passed on :] #and SOMEONE forgot to tell a certain pig what he can actually do with his powers. so he has no idea how to be a god KHDKFH #i've rambled abt this a lot on priv. might repost them here if i feel like it #just to explain better #if you couldnt tell this is pary to do with his passing but im trying to avoid mentioning it too much #bc i dont want this to come off as a vent #technoblade #my art #rising sun #this is like 50% skyblock fanart i swear you gotta believe me

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[13eyond13]

one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh

#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun #to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things #here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw #neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll #have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both #in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book #i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly #i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...' #also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either #ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where #the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way #that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes #and some of neil gaiman's stuff #but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much #to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way #to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does #what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm #oh hp lovecraft hahahaha #least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb #like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like #yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it #also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me #p

[aioliravioli-69]

I'm so excited about the tumblr art exchange it feels like my heart is gonna pop

help pleaseeee

#cinderella boy #punko #help #send 911 #I've fallen and I can't get uppp #I literally wasn't able to eat because it felt like my heart would just fly out of my chest #whyyyy #being a fangirl is such a curse😭😭😭 #I feel like I've been filled with helium #I'm boutta float into the stratosphereee #I really hope this doesn't come off as narcissistic #I want her to see this side of the fandom because it's literally so sweet #the next art piece better be the phantom of the opera au! #no really #I was surprised to find out that some people didn't know there was a tumblr tag 'til yesterday #it's been here for weeks!!! #nice to see all the new peeps though :))

[bandzboy]

i wanna talk about how... i had my last class today and we presented our final projects and everyone was so nice about my song and my teachers gave me 18 out 20 and i was surprised because even tho they literally mentioned that they think art should not be graded simply because it's subjective and all, i don't think i've ever had a grade this high on really anything ever? so i really felt very proud of myself on that moment but LATER ON... they asked us individually what we thought of this course and funny enough... i was the last one to talk about my experience and i said that i felt very fulfilled because i never did collaborative work with people before and i learned so much from my classmates! ever since the first day i felt so welcome and since i'm an introvert it's very hard for me to feel comfortable with a group of people immediately and so i was very grateful for that and as i got to talk with all of them individually about music i always felt like i was on the right track and this is honestly what i wanna do because in the end, this career with bring me a connection with people that i never really had until now with any of my friendships and so i'm very grateful but other than that... i also said that if they wanted to reach out to me and collab and do music with me i would always be available and honestly i don't even know how i could be that straightforward it was a first for me i was like wow i really did that??? and they agreed and it made me so happy and especially because i wanna keep being friends with these people like i was on the way there and i thought that i didn't want to not want to see them again after today and hopefully we would keep in touch for anything and we keep being in community hopefully so yeah... i never thought i would feel comfortable to even ask people to keep in touch and actually mean it and hopefully that our friendship will grow over time

#this is long but it's mostly for me #because it's been hours since i've been home #and i even told my parents all of this #but there hasn't been a day that i didn't come from class every week #that i wasn't excited about something so excited that i posted abt it here #or told my parents about it #i remember there was a time i talked a bit about all of my classmates to my mom #THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS CLASS AND THIS PEOPLE #i don't think i've ever felt this way #so much so that i'm sharing on tumblr 😭 #i feel like getting into my 20s things can get lonely #and i've been friendless since like i was 18 #and so this is the first time in forever i feel hopeful about friendships #and the fact that it might happen because of music #is even better #because that always brings me solace is also #bringing me friendship after so long so it's great #i'm also hopeful for the future literally yesterday i was kinda anxious #bc idk what will happen from now i'll be looking for a job #and for gigs here and there #but i don't feel anxious anymore after today i'm excited #there are a lot of possibilities and it's great 🥹 #so yeah very exciting eheh #tris.txt