#i literally dont have words to describe how im feeling right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeytonedhottie · 2 months

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HONEYS (IMPROVED) TEA ON SELF CONCEPT⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⭐️

what is self concept? self concept is how u see urself in relation to ur desires, and the world around you. self concept is the key to becoming a master manifestor.

bad self concept can hold you back from so many opportunities, and in some cases, ur desires in general. self concept isnt inherent, its learned. which means that it can be changed and altered. when we believe something about ourselves whether its negative or positive, thats still ur self concept and it will be proven to you.

changing self concept ; describe urself as you are right now. what words would u use to describe urself? now, describe ur ideal self concept.

you can impress ur subconscious mind with subliminals as a way to change ur self concept

you can create an affirmations list and affirm those affirmations as a way to change ur self concept

write a daily vaunt

some of my favorite self concept affirmations ; im hardworking, im intelligent, im beautiful, im eloquent, im compassionate, im assertive, im feminine, im effortlessly funny, im full of confidence, im talented, im magnetic, im charismatic, im ambitious, im opulent etc

ways to work on and sustain self concept ;

WRITE A DAILY VAUNT, i have like 3 that i read back to myself whenever i want to/feel the need to

make an affirmations tape strictly for self concept, i listen to mine when getting ready in the morning and getting ready to sleep

watch how u talk to/about yourself (make sure to give urself compliments and not speak badly about urself in any way whatsoever)

make a self concept playlist

rampaging (dont be afraid to get cocky)

see yourself for what you are ;

you are literally so limitless. everything that ur experiencing right now, what you know to be "reality" is the product of your OWN manifestations. everything around you came to be with JUST your mind. no matter how mad, skeptical, or sad u may feel, the law CANNOT fail and you are proof of that!

stepping into the role ;

when u come to that realization that YOU are the source you also get a responsibility. if ur not willing to put in the mental work to work on self concept or if ur constantly wavering then pls know that u have nobody to blame but yourself. give yourself that discipline bcuz YOU CAN LITERALLY MANIFEST ANYTHING THAT U WANT. ISNT THAT EXCITING?? if u just let the knowledge of the law of assumption collect dust in ur mind, and ur not applying it, then u have no one to blame but you. so step into the role, stop being lazy and start creating!

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azulashengrottospiano · 9 months

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thank you to the three people that tagged me in the twst author spotlight ^^ irene, siren, and sapphy, thank you. i read what you said about me and i was very touched. i didnt think i would gain so many friends in such a short period of time, and you all deserve to be recognized for your contributions to the twst community!! :D

EVERYONE LOOK AT MY FRIENDS.

@tinyletterz, who has a beautiful soul and amazing writing. i've known her since my baby days on quotev writing for a fandom which shall not be named, and it's so such a pleasure being her friend. she writes twst x reader content and has a gorgeous series about flower languages that i think about a lot. thank you remy for helping me get accustomed to tumblr, you're the og!!

@shkrmpp, who was my first mutual that i'd never met before here. thank you for asking about jellyfish and being such a bubbly presence on my dash. shrimpy writes x reader content and creates adorable art!! their hair dye series with the leech twins is super cute and i find myself thinking about teh floyd part in particular very often ^^

@fukashiin, with the prettiest themes and the gorgeous art style. winou CONSISTENTLY writes absolute bangers that make me so giddy. this one in particular is one of my favorites, and her writing style reminds me of a soft summer breeze. she's such a bubbly person and its so fun talking to her, even if we don't talk often. ^^ she's one of the three people that keeps my deuce content afloat.

one could say many things about the beloved @hisui-dreamer!! from the way she adores her friends to teh way she writes, rinna is always soft and sweet. she radiates comfort and is such a soothing person, i feel so safe around her. she writes x reader content and every single piece is its own masterpiece. she's one of my closest friends on here and i wish nothing but the best for her every day.

@merotwst, who has a bucnh of adorable oc content (on @meromessy !!) and writes x readers!! ellie in on haitus right now takinga well deserved break. <3 but she writing is amazing and i am FLOORED whenever i see her art!!! it's literally so gorgeous and i don't understand how she does it. its crazy. how is so much talent in one person.

@siren-serenity is not only a lovely author of x reader content, but also a lovely friend. ^^ siren also has an oc named melody who is so cool!!!! she was the pastor at my wedding and fought TOOTH AND NAIL for that position LMAO love u renren!!! she really writes azul SUPER WELL and im so happy to have met someone so calm and soothing to talk to.

@officialdaydreamer00, aka nutmeg, is a rascal. an absolutely rascal but they're really the best. they have a yuusona with LORE and a bunch of really creative & cute events!! seriously nutmeg, nobody does it like you. if you want to see our favorite twst boys in strawberry dresses or recieve a pair of cute earrings, irene's blog is the place for you!!!

@the-v-lociraptor has STELLAR art. she was one of my firts mutuals on twst tumblr and i was terrified of talking to people but her vibes were very much "i am nice you dont need to be afraid" and sniffling scared me was like "OKAY I CAN TALK TO YOU" LMAO but yeah. she draws people so,,, full. thats the only word i can use to describe it. they just look s soft and alive and its really so amazing. i love her art so much!!

@siphoklansan is another artist!! i think about the art she drew from loona's heart attack with twst character weekly basically. it has been stuck in my brain since i started following her. sippy, its trully beautiful how you mix your culture and your art together. i remember you talking about it when you were drawing fairy gala stuff and it was just stunning. please keep doing what you're doing!! i hope your hiatus proves restful <3

@ceruleancattail is one of THE most creative writers i have ever met on this platform. every time i check out their account theyre talking about a new au or doing something different. they write x reader stuff and ar ethe biggest cater kisser ever (even if they wont admit it hehe!!) their writing is so refreshing, if that makes sense. their butler au is so goofy whaahwwahwah

@moonlit-midnight has the prettiest writing style :((( hannah is literally so sweet and it shows in everything you can find on this blog. THIS BLOG HAS PLATONIC FICS TOO!!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?????? and even better, they're inspired by hannah's own friendships :((( literally the most wholesome thing. you can find x reader's here!!!

@iseethatimicy is an x reader writer and fellow azul kisser!!! she writes some really cute stuff for oour favorite silly little cephalopod AND AND AND AND HAS SOME OCS!!! THATA ARE SUPER COOL!!!!! shimiko and icy are both so cool and interesting 9EVEN THOUGH IM VERY SHIMIKO BIASED AAAAA I LOEV SIREN TROPES !!!!!)

@ryker-writes IS SO KIND. he gave me the sweetest set of flowers for his garden event :(( i still think about them and aaaaa i havent forgotten when he fought me over me being cool LMAO so goofy wahhwaawh!! HIS OC JAXON AND RIDDLE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE :((( he writes x reader content & makes oc content!!!

@totallymem3 draws occasionally and omgggg meme's art is gorgeous. HAVE YOU SEEN HER DRAW AZUL. her art is so soft and its honestly adorable :(( meme is such a nice mutual too!!! like i met her on anon a while ago we've been besties ever since fr. HER ART REMINDS ME OF SPRING GO CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!!!!

@z3llous is SO TALENTED!!!! another mutual that im liek WOW how do you exist??? he creates the most stunning twst fanart :((( THE OCTAVINELLE BIAS IIS SO REAL AND SO SO OBVIOUS BUT WOW.....WOW IS IT GOOD. zell is also a game developer and if you like cute little kitties and adventure games you should totally try it out here!!!

@cecilebutcher MAKES THE BEST OCS. creator of igor and saver of the universe. im not kidding igor saved the universe IDC WHAT YOU SAY ITS CANON TO ME. cece i sliterally the sweetest and soososososo creative i am eating up every crumb of igor content i get fed. OM NOM NOM. ofc junto is nice too and hes so sweet!!! GAHH you just put so much love and care into yoru ocs its so admirable :((((

@ang33333333l is another azul kisser that i became mutuals with a while ago!!! dolls love for sebek and azul is very sweet to see and her yuusona fauna is adorable too!! she also draws her yuu and characters sometimes!! :D she doesn't have a lot of oc content up on dolls blog yet but im looking forward to seeing more!! >:D

@leonistic deserves the most underrated writer of the year award. soru writes x reader content and is another super sweet mutual of mien (I KNOW IM SAYING THAT A LOT OKAY.) she writes aroace content and its literally feeds me. seriously. their aroace azul content makes me giggle and kick my feet and GAHHHHH !!! plus they have the patient to do matchups which is crazy and i love them for that ^^

@rains-asleep is the nickname master because he calls me straubs and thats such an adorable nickname :(((( HIS WRITING IS SUPER CUTE AND IT GIVE SME SO MUCH SEROTONIN (they write x readers btw!!!!!) they recently hit 500 followers (CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!!) and they also write for haikyuu, mha, genshin impact, and obey me!!!

@shinysparklesapphires is an artists that has a lot of cool ocs!! i believe navi was the first one i was introduced to and he's such an icon ^^ sapphy is also really into precure and produces a lot of content for the fandom!! i have yet to finish the precure series she recommended to me but its good so far and laura is the best so true!!

@datboredpencil has THE most STUNNING art. if you want idia x cater content this is DEFINITELY THE BLOG FOR YOU!!! each piece has so much love poured into it and i swear. YOURE ALWAYS LIEK "its a work in progress" BUT IT STILL LOTS SO LOVELY :((( YOUR USE OF COLOR IS JUST SO MUAH!!! CHEFS KISS!!!!!!! I ADORE IT

@twistwonderlanddevotee makes really pretty backgrounds!!! i actually used the isaac one she made for my private account AND ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I WANT TO EAT IT SWALLOW IT WHOLE MUNCH ON IT SHAKE IT AROUND LIEK A DOG TOY ANYWAYS. i am very normal about sofia's backgrounds. PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT its literally so unique?? like who else makes backgroudns liek sofia. Nobody.

@queen-shiba has an open inbox everyone!! you're welcome to send in requests!!! ^^ the queen of savanaclaw makes oc content for chuki, a really sweet kid taht deserves all the cookies in teh world :((( ALSO!!! she has an au for the tsavo man-eaters which is super cool!!! :O she passion for lions and tigers really is admirable and its nic eto see her talk about them :3

@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo has a gift when it comes to making ocs!! thule remains my favorite of the ones he has talked about because his design is just so neat!!! I LOVE THAT HIS NICKNAME FROM ROOK IS "MONSIEUR STARGAZER" :((( you have so many ocs that i havent even heard about yet...so im super curious to see what else you put out!!!

@dove-da-birb IS SUCH A GENIUS. they're one of my closests friends and their writing is SO BEAUTIFUL. they're also kidn of a little shit though so watch out /aff tehy write x reader content and draw sometimes, although i dont think theyve posted any of them. ^^ dove is SUCH a delight i promise you'll have fun every single time you talk to them. their energy is infectious and im genuinely really glad im the main target for their chaos. i would not have it any otehr way.

@ashipiko has such delicious art!!! the colors are always so vibrant and the way she draws is so unique. truly, a staple of both the twisted wonderland and as3! fandoms!! her energy is always upbeat and cheery, its hard not to smile when youre talking to her!! truly the biggest ace kisser on thsi platform (probably in the world too hehe)

@shyhaya writes for a myriad of fandoms!!!!!! hayami writes an azul thing for me that made me lose my mind IT WAS SO GOOD. PLEASE check out this blog. you wont regret it. requests are open!! ^^ even twst content aside, im sure you'll find something you like sich haya writes for so many fandoms!! talk about multitalented :3

@thehollowwriter has so many gems. quinn writes every character in twst so well, teh writing is so immersive and just ughhhh MUAH!!!!! every piece with azul in it is such a banger and it makes me giggle and kick my feet :3 LITERALLY THERE IS SO MUCH X READER FLUFF AND ITS ALL GOOD ITS A CRIME I DIDNT FIND THIS BLOG SOONER.

@cyath, who has some of the PRETTIEST art i have EVER seen. they draw stuff based on my fics all of the time and i adore it so much. examples of their art can be found here, here, here, and here. do you understand what i mean. do you get it. their art style is SUPERIOR and i ADORE IT!!!!!! they truly have so much talent like damn save some for the rest of us hello!!!!!

@crheativity writes twst x readers!! she's a beginner writer so PLEASE PELASE SHOW HER SOME LOVE!!! right nwo she has some heartslabyul content that i havent gotten around to reading yet but i am SUPER excited to go through them when i get the chance!!! rhea is super fun to talk to hehe <3

and lastly, @jade-s-nymph who organized this whole thing!!! rubia is on hiatus right now but i've seen some of her projects and a few of the things she's written and they're all really good!! there's a lot of x reader content on her writing blog and self indulgent nymphleech content on her personal blog :3

#twst spotlight #whew its finally finished!!!!!#honestly you all are so talented #thakn you so much for talking to me ^^#you all have been the cause of many smiles and tons of laughter ove the few months ive been here #no fandom has left such a positive impression on me in so little time #you guys are people to remember #every single one of you #and its sappy as HELL i know LOOK AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT SAPPY AUBURN #but teh way you all support each other and talk about things and connect is just so effortlessly beautiful #im so happy that ive been accepted into such a lovely group #im in awe of you all every single day #i hope you never lose the courage and motivation to do what you love #writing and art and anything else aside #i hope you can always find your people in every creative space you enter and i hope ever day you remember your worth!!!#its so amazing how our brains work and give us so many ideas and how we can just put those into words on onto a canvas for other people #this took forever so i will go take a break now but seriously you guys are all amazing

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gabessquishytum · 8 months

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Office au where Matthew just got promoted and given a transfer to the main building of the company and while hob otherwise seems like a good dude... the way he treats his fiance is despicable!! Matthew catches him showing candid pics of his boss in the shower off and the other skeezy dudes saying "what they would like to do to the bitch". Matthew notices how hobs fists clench at this and his smile seems to take on a dangerous edge but nobody else seems to care.. he confronts hob casually just like "woah dude that Not Cool to be betraying someones trust like that??" But hob seems completely different and just gives him an awkward little grimace. But it keeps HAPPENING where hob will give the water cooler gossip about how much of a whiny slut dream actually is and Matthew has only met dream like twice and both times hes been an absolute Nightmare to deal with but thats still so fucked up no matter who it is!! This ends with Matthew getting angry that hob wont stop so he tells DREAM and its literally the worst conversation hes had in his life. Dream is like "yeah its a fetish we plan it out:)" and Matthew is like "OKAY IM LEAVING YOUR OFFICE NOW!!" he apologizes to hob who just finds it fucking hilarious instead of being angry but jokingly has him promise not to tell anyone as to not "ruin dreams fun" Matthew finds out while hob enjoys it greatly as well he says "given the opportunity i would beat most of these guys to death for what they genuinely say about dream so thats why i dont go out for drinks after work haha:)" Matthew is weirded out but cant help but notice all the tells after that... awkward...

-🔪

I deadass haven't stopped thinking about this since I first read it akdjfjgjdjdj

I'm imagining that conversation between Dream and Matthew...

"Hey boss. Can I just have a word?" He asks, hovering next to the door. It's time to go home, but Dream usually stays late anyway. And Matthew is pretty sure that he'll want to hear this.

"Go ahead." Dream says, waving his hand imperiously. He's still looking at the graphs from last quarter. "I am listening."

Matthew takes a deep breath. "Well, I know I haven't been hear long, but I really respect you, boss. And I feel like if it was the other way around, I'd want someone to tell me. Mr Gadling is your boyfriend, right?"

Dream looks up and raises an eyebrow. "My fiancé. What of it?"

Matthew shuffles awkwardly. Its worse now that Dream is looking at him. "Well, I've just noticed some stuff. He's being kind of... sleazy, I guess? I didn't really wanna join in but he was showing these pictures to some of the other guys. Pretty sure it was you, boss. In some... compromising positions."

Dream’s eyebrow twitches. "I see. Go on."

"He was saying some kind of gross things. I was trying not to listen! But he was talking about how... how you like it in the bedroom. Real degrading shit."

Dream sighs, and Matthew awaits what feels like an inevitable explosion. Instead, Dream smiles at him.

"It was very brave of you to tell me this, Matthew. I thank you, and I will not forget your loyalty." Matthew feels himself blushing. "But. There is no need for concern. I asked Mr Gadling to do what you have described. It is what you might call... a "kink thing"."

Matthew chokes on his next mouthful of air. "Oh. OH. Shit, I am so sorry, boss."

Dream’s eyes twinkle in a surprisingly friendly manner. "It is quite alright, Matthew. If anything I am quite pleased." He gives another imperious little hand wave. "You will receive a bonus on your next paycheck. Good evening."

Matthew decides that maybe it's time for a vacation, actually.

#🔪 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft

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sejanusxcoriyo · 3 months

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Pairings: Josh Andres Rivera x Fem!Actress!reader/ Tom Blyth x Rachel Zegler

Face Claim: Coco Jones

Type: Social Media AU

Summary: Josh finally puts an end to this, or does he?

Warnings: Cussing, let me know if i forgot any

A/N: This should be the last part, anything else created will just be short AU blurbs <3

Text messages with Josh

Text messages with Rachel

Joshandresrivera has posted a story

Ynuser

Ynuser My lover, my everything, the apple of my eye. The 26 letters of the alphabet aren't enough letters to express how I feel about you. If I tried to describe my feelings about you, this post would never end. I will always love you and only you❤️🥰

Tagged: joshandresrivera

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Rachelzegler OMG FINALLY!

↪️rachelfan1 wait shes serious???

↪️ynfan1 HARD LAUNCH, I REPEAT HARD LAUNCH

↪️joshynfan1 im so happy for them fr, they both seem like they are glowing

Oliviarodrigo cute couple ig

↪️oliviafan1 yes mother, be the bigger person

↪️oliviafan2 mhm, this is why i stan

↪️ynfan2 please get out her comments, she isnt looking for acknowledgement from you

ynuser liked this comment

↪️ynfan2 MOTHER HAS LIKED MY COMMENT

joshfan1 so are we just gonna ignore the 7th pic? my gurl quite literally marked her mans

↪️joshynfan2 right?? like she wants you bitches to know hes hers

↪️rachelfan2 i love this for her

Joshandresrivera I love you with my whole fucking heart

↪️ynuser I love you so much more than you think

↪️joshynfan2 my parents are so freaking cute

↪️oliviafan3 they are actually cute tg

ynfan3 she looks so happy, like shes absolutely glowing

↪️joshfan2 i know, i was thinking that earlier

rachelfan3 now i know ms rachel and tom know wayyy more about this than they are letting on

↪️ynfan3 mhm, i know them bitches know every fucking thing

↪️rachelzegler i mean you not wrong

Zendaya purr we love to see it, claim your mans <3

↪️ynuser the QUEEN has spoken @/joshandresrivera we can never break up

↪️joshandresrivera like id ever leave you, aka the reason i smile every damn day

↪️joshynfan3 i want a love like theirs

↪️joshfan3 i want someone to look at me the way they look at each other in that 4th pic

↪️rachelfan4 right, a girl could WISH

Joshandresrivera

Joshandresrivera My princess, I'm so sorry for not saying this sooner, but you are my world, and I have no clue how I survived with you this long. My precious, delicate jewel, I will love you until my heart stops. Even then, the heavens cannot tear me from your arms. I love you more than words can tell, my beautiful diamond❤️😘

Tagged: ynuser

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joshfan1 yall look at how he holds her, im desprate

↪️rachelfan1 i was just about to comment that

↪️joshynfan1 pay attention to how he looks at her in that 7th photo

ynuser my man my man my man, i love you <3

↪️joshandresrivera my woman my woman my woman i love you more <3

↪️rachelfan2 just look how they interact with each other

↪️oliviafan1 did you steal her caption?

↪️ynfan1 that bitch tried to break up her relationship, fuck her caption

hunterschafer im jealous, need a man like him

↪️rachelzegler im right here babe?

↪️tomblyth rach...

↪️rachelzegler didnt expect you to see that...ily

↪️hunterschafer i never said i wanted to break anyone up

↪️tomblyth rachel i hear you giggling from under the covers

↪️rachelzegler you'll never catch me!

↪️joshandresrivera @/ynuser these are our kids

↪️ynuser who is we?

↪️tomblyth mom?

↪️ynuser 🙄

joshfan2 love how they intact with each other

↪️ynfan2 right??

joshynfan2 i love them so much, adopt me plz

Oliviarodrigo Josh?

↪️oliviafan1 see shes just tryna set things straight

↪️joshfan3 its giving desperate

↪️ynfan2 not you being desperate for another womans man

↪️rachefan3 oohh i know this is eating you ALIVE

↪️oliviafan2 shut up all, of yall, yall dont know shit

↪️rachelfan4 imagine defending a cheater..couldn't be me

↪️joshfan4 imagine begging for ex under his post abut his girlfriend...couldn't be me

Zendaya its giving desperate

↪️joshynfan3 isnt it

↪️oliviafan3 no one even likes you

↪️zendayafan1 dont speak about mother like that

↪️rachelfan5 not olivias an summoning a whole nother fandom

↪️ynfan3 they about to eat them alive

ynuser my lover boy

↪️joshnadresrivera my princess

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #the hunger games #josh andres rivera #josh hutcherson #tom blyth #rachel zegler #sejanus x reader #sejanus plinth x reader #sejanus plinth #social media au #zendaya #hunter schafer

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oohbuggypie · 18 days

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I CANT BE TAME AND REGULAR RIGHT NOW EXCUSE THE CRAZINESS I GENUINELY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO WORD THIS BUT !!! YEAH IM BREAKING DOWN THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG AND HOW THEY REFLECT DON AND BULL'S DYNAMIC DEPICTED IN @goferwashere's LATEST PIECE OF WRITING !! GO READ IT IT MAKES ME INSANE SRSLY. SO THESE R THE LYRICS::

**(song above is Shades Of Cool by Lana Del Rey;; the section takes place from 3:49 - 4:31 . please read the disclaimer / warning at the end of this post !!)

OKAY . BREAKING THEM DOWN TIME.

"your hot, hot weather in the summer" - (real quick: i would change the 'your' to 'you're' as it would make more sense in the context of describing their lover as a feeling; if not, it makes less sense. anyway!!) so this lyric makes me think of how, as Don begins using his manipulative ability to alter Bull's state of mind, the feeling the victim succumbs to when hearing his voice is described as bringing a sense of "warmth and comfort." to describe Don's manipulation effects as "hot weather in the summer" makes sm sense to me because, much like the sun's radiance and the general relaxation/freedom that comes with the summer season, Don's manipulation makes Bull feel a (false) sense of safety and enjoyment. further, in closer context to both the song's general tones and siren mythology, the description of Don's manipulation being akin to "hot weather" can also be taken in a more sultry / seductive manner; in the story, Don uses intimate gestures like tracing along Bull's hand, cupping his face, wrapping himself around his arm, drinking directly from the same cup as him, etc. in what id assume is an attempt to be more alluring / welcoming. along with this, Don's handsome appearance and charisma seems to sway Bull's judgement slightly. Bull does have a reaction to these gestures , being flushed in the face and appealing to Don's demands the first few times he's asked. however, this feeling gets its meaning changed fairly quickly.

condensed: the feeling of Don's manipulation is akin to the warm days of summer, a freeing and typically sweet feeling. Don invokes feelings in Bull that can be related to the sentiment of summer's heat.

"high, high, neglectful lover" - in the literal sense of the song, i believe the use of the word "high" implies that the lover is constantly under the influence of drugs; in this context though, i prefer to think of the word "high" as in a power trip. Don is shown to be on his high horse constantly due to the overwhelming abilities he holds over his peers, being able to demand anything from nearly anyone. alternatively, closer to the original context of the song, i suppose the "high" could also correlate to the feeling of Don's manipulation influence. the victim loses their own proper coordination, their thinking is impaired, and in Bull's case his temperature even rises, causing sweating. all of this could reflect the symptoms of somebody under the influence, similar to how Don puts all of his victims under a "trance" of sorts. moving along to the second part of the line; in this writing, i don't believe that Bull and Don are implied to be in a relationship of any form. however, they do almost seem to reflect feelings for each other, seeing that Don touching Bull's hand makes the latter blush, and Don's heart rate picks up when Bull touches his face (this could be due to the fact that Bull was moving beneath command, causing Don nervousness - but my interpretation is the former). so in this scenario, i believe Don would take the role of "neglectful lover" - as mentioned in the previous paragraphs, Don is shown to use sweet and intimate gestures with Bull; however, we know that they're devoid of any true meaning and that he's doing them simply to appear normal to outsiders that can't tell his victim is under his control, or to persuade his victim before manipulating them. however, Don does present himself as caring for Bull, such as constantly adjusting his attire and even cleaning the sweat from his forehead, and an important factor is that Don - for the first time - feels guilt whilst manipulating Bull. this seems to happen only when he's dealing with him in specific, and to me that deepens the idea of Don being the neglectful lover because , despite being aware that what he's doing is wrong, he pushes that guilt aside and continues to manipulate Bull.

condensed: Don holds an overbearing amount of power among his peers. he also induces symptoms / feelings similar to drug use upon his victims when manipulating them. Don plays the role of a "lover" that does not express true care for their partner and ultimately harms them.

"hot, hot weather in the summer" - oh my goodness this is one of my favorite parts of the song when reading it along with the writing. in the story, as Bull begins regaining his consciousness back, we learn that he can hear Don's voice almost as an outer force. as i covered in the first paragraph, the "hot weather" starts as a pleasant and seductive feeling for Bull. it's swaying, comfortable, and warming. however, as the breakdown in the song intensifies and the guitar whines over the drawling vocals, the pronunciation of the phrase begins to lean towards sounding pained;; bringing a bit of personal description into this, summer where i come from can become so intense that it starts to feel painful on the skin and is no longer enjoyable. this is exactly the feeling i think Bull experiences; that "hot weather" Don induced no longer feels like freedom, it's becoming a dreadful burning. a detail that i adored and stuck out to me in the writing is that Don's voice is so intensified in this state that Bull shields his ears, wincing at the height of the volume. this contributes more to my point that Bull's slow awakening and the summer weather reflect one another; much like how the beating sun becomes overstimulating and unbearable against the skin, Don's influence that was once sweet starts to slowly morph into a more agonizing experience, both mentally and physically for Bull.

condensed: the sense of comfort and warmth that Bull initially felt when being manipulated by Don slowly transforms into a painful feeling as Bull begins to escape the manipulation's trance.

"high, neglectful lover" - when Bull fully escapes the maze and is no longer under Don's control, it can be viewed as one coming down from their high. this is where the roles become reversed to me; he awakens to Don grasping his hand and gently holding his face with the opposite. in that moment, Don seems to be truly concerned for Bull as he twitches and acts irregularly. Don momentarily sheds the image of a neglecting, careless lover and now appears to be the sweet partner; and as Bull quickly resorts to violence upon understanding what Don had just put him through, that "neglectful lover" image is projected onto him instead. he cares not to hear Don's reasoning or explanation, but for how he will reflect the same suffering he was caused onto him. this part is so so detrimental to me because it almost makes you feel for Don. Bull appears for a short moment to be the monstrous one before we're reminded yet again who truly is the neglectful, abusive one.

condensed: Don appears to care for Bull, and he is no longer the neglecting partner; Bull takes on the latter role instead, but for a short moment only.

"you're crumbling, sadly" - to me, this line reflects the final moments of the writing, in which Bull begins choking Don against the bathroom wall as vengeance for his manipulation. on the surface, reading this from Bull's point of view, you can view the "crumbling" as Don's reaction to his punishment. he seems to almost lose his grasp on consciousness, his breathing is inconsistent, and he can't disguise the terror that Bull has inflicted upon him; the largest part of the "crumbling" is that Don's usual sauve front was dropped out of pure fear under Bull's rage . however, as we see just a moment later, Don manages to remain snarky despite his terrified state just seconds before .. so, to me, i think that this line fits just as perfectly when being read from Don's point of view;; he views Bull's immediate resort to violence / switch in demeanor as proof of weakness, and that his manipulation was powerful enough to make Bull "crumble" beneath the pressure of his trance. this also plays strongly into the afore mentioned power trip that Don is constantly on.

condensed: Bull choking Don is the former's idea of the latter "crumbling". however, Don also believes that Bull's violence towards him is an example of his victim crumbling as well.

"you're sadly, crumbling" - the very last moments of the writing show the aftermath of Bull nearly strangling Don, as the latter begs him to come back. and i think one of the most key factors of the entire story - if not Don's entire character in this AU - happens here. as Don attempts to use his manipulative power one last time to lure Bull into retrieving him, that power sputters out just as Don says "i'm sorry." i think the entire sentiment of Don's weak figure facing the consequence of his wrongdoing , asking not only for help, but for forgiveness from his victim is a turnaround moment for him. it strikes a chord that has never been heard of; Don realizes that there was no reason behind his actions, that the abuse of his power and his manipulative behavior simply cannot be justified. i think that crushing, unheard of feeling of remorse for his actions is what ultimately differentiates who truly "crumbled" in the end; Don is the one left unforgiven, regretful of his own actions and battered on the floor with nobody to sympathize with.

condensed: Don is ultimately the one harmed most by his manipulation.

OH MY GOD ITS DONE. this actually took the entire day im so srs,, like i know it's not even that much and it's written not very well but the effort that is articulating my thoughts enough so that other ppl don't just hear "LOOK HERE THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT DO U GET IT" is grueling . anyway gofer i hope u enjoy this absolutely monstrous amount of writing cuz it was all inspired by u 🩷 i reccomend reading all this and then rereading ur own story with the song in the background it will change u i Think . and i recommend doing the exact same thing 2 anybody else who can stand to read this entire post ✝️ it's literally 1 in the morning as i post this and a majority of this was written at midnight so sorry for all the janky wording nd generally bad writing but i had to get this out today or i wouldn't come back 2 it 😭 hope u can try n understand where im coming from hehe

**(i do not agree with many of LDR's statements and actions, and prefer not to directly stream her music as to avoid supporting her. if u would like to hear the excerpt from the song, i reccomend doing what i did and YouTube-to-MP3'ing it so u can download, easily hear, then delete it without having to stream her music 🩷 thank u 4 ur understanding !)

#punch out!! wii #punch out wii #punch out #punch out monster hunter au #don flamenco #bald bull #holy actual hell i am so so beat from this u do not even get it #i know a lot of this sounds not that good guys i cant stress to u how bad i am at conveying my thoughts like im nawt made to do this bro #anyway srsly i hope u get it cuz omgg my brain has truly been changed by these connections i am telling u

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future-boi · 5 months

Text

Get To Know Me Tag Game!

Thanks to @mythical-bookworm and @alex-a-fans for tagging me.

tbh this is just a song rec list LMAO [easier to open in a browser fyi]

1) Spell your name in songs

Y'all get two for the price of one cuz I couldn't decide if I wanted to go with all non-English songs or not.

The non-English songs are labeled with 🧋 in case you wanna avoid 🤪

Warning: Most of the songs in english have swear words so... just in case u got kids or ur strict parents around LMAO.

⚡️ F: Fighter Not a Lover

aro/ace people gonna love that shit ^ + no swear words

alt: fml u fucked me up

⚡️ U: URARA🧋

It translates to 'Oo-la-la', which I now realize is the magazine Biff was carrying around in the second movie... this was unintentional and the meaning of the song is very wholesome, trust me

alt: Upside Down

⚡️ T: this was a demo for this one song...

That one's like 50% f-bombs ^ i love it

alt: Toxic but its NOT Brittany, B*tch 💅

The most aggressive entry on this list

⚡️ U: Up Up and Away

The only f-bomb is in the second verse

alt: Unmei no Roulette Mawashite 🧋

'unmei' means 'destiny' so you know I had to include it

⚡️ R: Raining in Manila (half 🧋)

Couple of dudes just vibin' out in the studio, what's not to love?

alt: RAHHHH

^im convinced this is what suburbanites see in their nightmares

⚡️ E: Electricity (half 🧋)

alt: Extensyon

Both make up the most WHOLESOME entry in this

⚡️ -(hyphen): Hatid Sundo 🧋

Baby. Baby boi. Baby. vibes ^

alt: Hell to Sell

EVIL. vibes ^

🚫🧢 I have a problem with tonal whiplash. Did I cheat and use the hyphen to include the most wholesome and cute song right before pulling out the lowkey most scandalous song in the list? YES.

Just realized it doesn't work as well if you can't understand it, but trust me. I mean just listening to its vibes is enough 😩

⚡️ B: Balik Sa Umpisa 🧋

Any song that samples/remixes 'Stand By Me' is a W in my book.

alt: Bodybag

I'm just self-reporting at this point.

Ok the rest are very wholesome songs I swear

⚡️ O: Oretachi Rookies 🧋

alt: Oh, Imagine That

ok this one's tied for most wholesome in the list

⚡️ I: I/Me/Myself

gnc/nb people gonna love this shit ^

alt: I Really Like You

that was a struggle, R is the top pick to check out imo. E, O and I are the wholesome ones with no swear words if u care.

2) Why did you choose your URL?

Its based. ..off the song in the musical. I got back into the fandom because of the musical so I owe it that much. 'boi' sounds more gender-neutral than 'boy'

3) What is your middle name?

That's a secret!

4) If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

Shapeshifter.

5) Favorite color?

Purple. Lavender/Periwinkle specifically.

6) Song you love right now?

What? 🧋 The amount of crackhead energy, but genuine emotion... AND AESTHETIC. it was literally made for me LMAO Ken is so aggro but hes singing about not littering. like why is he so intimidating-- but i support the eco-friendly king. but fr the song is about waving ur flag with pride??? PRIDE???? and they look androgynous asf??? whats not to love

7) Top four fandoms? (Current Fandoms?)

Back to the Future

That's it

jk uhhh, Invincible

Thats it, dont wanna get into past fandoms rn

8) Tag nine people

mf u think i know 9 people??

im playin, lemme tag some cool people... not that u have to do this, i just wanted to bother u 🤪 but feel free to do it, i wanna hear other music ��🥺🥺

⚡️ @maxintime LOVE UR ART STYLE. BEEN TOO SHY TO BOTHER U THO 😭

⚡️ @jowritesfanfiction my inspo, my density, ILY. Im never shy bout bothering u in my posts HAVE U GOTTEN THE RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME YET 🤪🤪😭😭😭 ive tagged this mf in every other post istg

⚡️ @moth-makay ur great frfr 😭😭 all the hugs. r u gonna post more art??? cuz u shouuuld 🥺

⚡️ @bttf-dork ur name and pfp give comfy vibes??? its very endearing. dunno how to describe it, but i like seeing u in my notifs 🥰 bUT UR ART DOHHH. immaculate. underrated.

⚡️ @pepsifox88 i hope u continue to cook ✨ everyone go and GIVE THEM SUPPORT, I AM NO LONGER ASKING

and to the rest of u, thank u for liking a bunch of my work, whenever i see long lists of likes like that, or if i see ur name often 'nuff, i always notice 😇, i never know how to say thank you!!

@leftoverspagehhti

@karorurodriguez

@epikprinc

@mapleflavedpepperoni

@xmaster3000

@jayisnotdrawing

@jackofthecards

@ectojester

@cat0marble

Didn't include everyone, but just know that i noticed you!!! 💝

watch me get reported for harassment by all these people 😂

#music

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 4 months

Text

I finished acotar a while ago and I was gonna write a review right away but then christmas happened and I was pretty busy and wanted to enjoy myself so youre getting like two weeks late

It was fine, I really didnt have any strong feelings about the book itself. Like, my main complaints are that it was pretty boring and directionless for most of it and stuff thats mainly related to the next books, if I just look at it as a standalone I would describe it as "not for me, but not that bad"

That is, until we get to Under The Mountain, where everything just gets really stupid and convoluted. That whole section, which is a solid fourth or fifth of the whole book, severely clashes with the sweet fairytale romance that came before it. It reminds me of how all those twilight-knockoff trilogies in the 2010s would have two pretty low-stakes books worth of basically only romance with some weird magic sprinkled on top, and then in the last book it would turn out that the protagonist and her beloved need to Go To War or the world will end except even worse (also now that I think about it, the first three acotar books also seem to be structed like that, so youre getting two shitty plot structures in one. yayyyyyyy)

There was literally no reason for all of that happen, it was honestly just unpleasant reading about Feyre, who had spent the book recovering from her trauma in a way that was genuinely pretty nice to read about, being tortured for three months until she was feeling worse than she ever had before. And some people might say "oh, thats the point, its meant to be tragic" but it didnt feel like tragedy, it just felt tonally dissonant. Also, the entire ending was so weird and dragged out, like that bit where she and Tamlin are staying one last night UTM for some reason and then she talks to Rhysand before they finally leave and its like, BRO dont stay in the Palace of Torments for any longer than you have to, just leave through that portal-tunnel thing

Speaking of Rhysand, he wasnt that bad in this book but Im sure my opinion on him will change. The main thing that sticks out about him is how sjm simply could not resist ALREADY explaining all of his motivations and portraying him as someone whos obviously so noble, despite all the obviously horrific and completely unecessary shit hes doing. Like, theres that scene where Rhysand crushes that guy's brain when Amarantha ordered him to crush his mind and the narration goes "that was actually an act of mercy from Rhysand" ??? that mightve worked better in third person limited where youre working without the implication that the prose is the pov character's actual thoughts, but since its first person and meant to be Feyre's thoughts I was just like "why is she thinking that when she should be thinking 'holy fucking shit, i just signed my life over to a guy who could squish my mind like a grape if he wanted to?!?!?!!'"

Also, theres that scene where Rhysand comes into Feyres cell to "escape from it all" or whatever and he basically monologues to her about his sympathetic motivations and I just. sarah, girlie, you shouldve saved this shit for the second book. Like, rewrite the scene so that he just comes in eithout a word, hes totally unresponsive to Feyre insulting him or trying to ask him what hes doing here, he just sits down in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, he mutters something vague about just wanting to be left alone, maybe he's even got tears in his idk. I think that would be a far more effective way to have him be sympathetic in a more subtle way than just having him monologue his tragic circumstances and noble intentions at Feyre

Thats about it so far, I'll probably start reading ACOMAF in january when winter break is over and I can read it on the bus and in class again

#anti acotar #anti sjm #thorns and roses liveblog #book review

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crushedsweets · 7 months

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back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

#long post #🌙 anon #asks

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the-kr8tor · 3 months

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I literally cannot stop thinking about any of your series or fluff you write. You as a writer live rent free in my head, i might have to start making you pay for living in my head with hobie fluff/j

I can never stop appreciating your writing though, you have no reason to be that good at writing. Your series, fluffs, and angst you write should be illegal. Especially the angst, playing with my feelings to much/pf

I wont ever stop sending love for yours series or writings. I love them so much (ive cried so many times because of your angst, especially some of them on your masterlist as well not just the series)

But please i beg of you dont break my heart with pirate hobie like you did with fae hobie/j

Im feeling the song ‘let you break my heart again’ by laufey with you right now. I feel liker pirate hobie is also gonna have two bittersweet endings, i know better with you

Please I beg of you if pirate hobie is angsty and both endings are bittersweet imma need you to give me like another fluff series like ttn to even it out/j

*Actual footage of me seeing this message in public*

This is so sweet! I can't 🥹 I have no words to describe how your ask has warmed my entire being 🥹 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

(pls don't make me pay rent, I'm poor 😞)

Oh my new laufey song reco 🚨

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If it weren't for lovelies like you I wouldn't have pushed myself to write better. I started posting my stories here because I wanted to be a part of a community and now I found that community, thank you so much, my love! You made my day better ❤️❤️❤️

I'll do my best at writing more stories and improve my skill! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

#this legit made me cry in public #i was holding off answering this until i got home so i could freely cry 🤣#thank you!!!!!#chatting with lovelies #hobie thoughts #bdas thoughts #i hope i don't disappoint you I'll do my very best #ask answered #🫶🫶🫶

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 9 months

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oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

youtube

#ask arcana brainrot #arcana brainrot playlist #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #the arcana game

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bye-bye-firefly · 21 days

Note

Goood evening!! What’re your thoughts on dream sequences?

Welllllll you know meeee.........i write a lot of dream sequences. if im not writing dream sequences the character is falling in and out of sleep. BUT i do understand how that can get annoying. overall dream sequences should be able to convey something to the reader, that there is something going on in this character's psyche that they cannot face in the narrative right now or ever. what can you gather from a dream? and at this point i fall off the deep end soooo. more under the cut

they can be very important to the story Ya Know. most of the time im having a character confront some kind of mental block or real life issue in a dream. dreams communicate fears. dreams communicate mounting pressure- dreams can BE that mounting pressure. dreams can also communicate acceptance. dreams can be characters in and of themselves!! but dreams have to consistently represent something. i would suggest like. maintaining one or two different meanings for dreams but this generally goes for ALL symbols. telling a story is inherently enforcing some kind of narrative. joan didion's belief was that writing was a hostile act, describing it almost as if it was violating the reader. to be specific, she said:

In many ways writing is the act of saying I, of imposing oneself upon other people, of saying listen to me, see it my way, change your mind. It's an aggressive, even a hostile act. You can disguise its qualifiers and tentative subjunctives, with ellipses and evasions —with the whole manner of intimating rather than claiming, of alluding rather than stating—but there's no getting around the fact that setting words on paper is the tactic of a secret bully, an invasion, an imposition of the writer's sensibility on the reader's most private space.

do i necessarily completely agree with joan didion? No. but i do think she was getting at something and it was something very important about writing. when you are telling a story, whether it be fiction or non-fiction, there is some underlying narrative going on there. there will always be some hidden meaning because people dont walk around without them. even the nihilists have a hidden meaning they want to share with you: there is NO meaning. writing is a philosophical experience and a deeply self-analytical one, which didion also believed was part of the reason why she wrote if not the sole reason she was a writer. she described it like she didn't know what she was thinking until she wrote it down. she didn't know what was happening with her mental state until she wrote it down. i dont believe she did that expressly to impose a narrative upon a reader, to persuade them necessarily, but YES there is a part of every writer that wants to make you see it OUR way.

but this feeling is not specific to authors. other forms of art find themselves trying to make you see what they see, whether it be simply through their own memories of an event or a scene, or quite literally an artists interpretation of politics and history. an artist trying to convey to you what an event did to them through their medium of choice. a piece i love so much is félix gonzález-torres' 175 pound piles of candy that guests are encouraged to take from, forcing them to participate in the art piece. not only do you get to view it, but to get the full experience, you must participate and pick up a candy and eat from it, the representation of félix's and his lover's body, both taken away by aids. the horror of it is forced on you and that visceral emotional reaction feels like an invader suddenly entering your body. everything about it hits you like a freight train while you're eating a cellophane-wrapped candy. what can you get from that? what exactly can you interpret from it? what thought does the author have? can you feel it being forced on you?

i mentioned this before in a note but i said that at the time, i was following the oscar wilde method of writing, which was to write without communicating a moral to the audience. while i still identify with this- in no way am i trying to teach you some kind of lesson when you read nameless- there is a mix here that i think is important when talking about what you choose to write and what you choose to symbolise. dreams are not just a gateway into a character's mind but YOUR mind and what you associate with certain things. writing is displaying art and because of that, people can interpret your art in any way they want and there is no wrong way to view it in my personal opinion. even if you put it out there with a vision and a goal, people can choose to make it personal to themselves and there is NOTHING you can do about that. this is part of the medium. you dont control how people interpret it if they feel deeply about it.

a good example of that is sun yuan and peng yu's "can't help myself." you probably already know about it: a machine that sweeps up liquid that looks like blood. sun yuan and peng yu intended for this to be a more political piece, trying to evoke imagery of war, surveillance, and land disputes. these concepts were not just randomly chosen for a random exhibition; the guggenheim museum specifically sought out yuan and yu for the "tales of our time" exhibition, which had a focus on locations and geography. where the artists lived, their idea of utopia, an interpretation of modern borders. even the title was a play on lu xun's book "old tales retold," which, as it says on the tin, retold old tales but in a way that critiqued society and highlighted issues specific to the era. so, when "can't help myself" was created, it was an interpretation of the state of border politics.

looking at it with this perspective, the "blood" the machine cleans up leaves red streaks across the floor as the only evidence it was ever there. the machine gets little breaks and dances and interacts with the audience like a nation's figurehead on tour, waving to citizens in the audience before immediately returning to the bloodshed. and when the blood gets too much, they dont have as much time to appease the crowd or to do a little dance or wave. theres too much to mop up, and then the blood becomes the centrepiece. no matter how much the robot sweeps up, there is always more. and the machine sweeps up blood until it cant anymore, and then the blood is left to sit for everyone to see. its the inevitable end of empires. it is what war will do to a nation. when the power struggle that leads to wars that leads to death en masse become too much, people will be unable to ignore the bloodshed and there is no amount of dancing or waving a nation can do to save them from their demise. the machine lays down and dies. the empire falls.

or...or its exemplary of a country trying to control immigration. it pulls the blood back in, but there are streaks left of it on the floor- people still get out and they never come back. blood gets spattered on the walls and is, therefore, unable to be swept back up. what is a nation without its people? and that is why borders and the inherent function of the machine is important. the machine is not leaking the fluid; the fluid has been poured into the space and the machine sweeps it into an arbitrary border. when it flows outside that border, its sensors go off and drag the fluid back in. that brings in the idea of mass surveillance. bringing those who step out of line back in. its an orwellian image of a machine dancing and waving to the audience, putting on a jovial performance, before punishing its subject for stepping out of its contrived boundary in front of its company.

the art piece briefly fell out of public knowledge before being discovered again through what little video we have of it while it was being shown. and some of the people who found it were not given the context of the guggenheim exhibit, nor did they get to view it during the time it was in action. some were not residents of china, yuan and yu's home country and the area-specific politics "can't help myself" was reflecting on. because of these holes in knowledge, people began to interpret it as a rat race sort of commentary. the fluid representing money, or the machine's life force, or joy flowing out of the machine and trying to be gathered back up by this anthropromorphised version that was created. it dances and waves and puts on a brave face, all while fighting to maintain these important things. some people interpretted it as people pleasing, where the machine would dance and then go right back to struggling to stay alive, perhaps struggling with depression or other kinds of mental illness. it would wave to make people happy and interact with the audience, all while bleeding out on the floor. people felt for it and identified with it.

and while you could argue these interpretations are "tainted" because they don't know what the piece is actually about, it doesn't make any other interpretation any better. in fact, my interpretations of "can't help myself"- even with the assistance of context from the guggenheim website or my limited knowledge on chinese policy and history or the assistance of the artists themselves, articles from people that saw it in person, what few translated articles i could stumble across in my early search- is tainted by the fact that i have only ever lived in the west. i don't truly know what chinese immigration policy looks like or what the chinese government is telling its citizens, what narrative is trying to be pushed. i only know what narrative my country is pushing. i am assuming that, maybe, the chinese government is saying the same things as the west, but i don't truly know and i won't know until i meet someone who lives or lived there, but i haven't. as logical as my interpretation is, there are likely holes because of my view on the government which has been shaped by living where i do, just as this piece is shaped by sun yuan and peng yu living in china.

and even if they don't know the context, that doesn't make their interpretations any less evocative. there is something to be said about the performance the machine puts on because its an important part of the piece. there's something to be said about how you are an observer peering into a glass box at the spectacle that is happening. you can stand there and have blood flung at you because of the work the machine is putting into maintaining its borders. there is something to be said about the way the machine appears to be bleeding, even if that's not what's actually happening. these are amazing things to think about and the fact that people think about it at all is amazing! i think thats fucking beautiful!!

and you want to know why that's so amazing? because art like this is MEANT to be provacative. it's MEANT to spark a reaction. it could be reactions in the political sense, like inspiring people to be activists or to question their governments and representatives, or reactions in the emotional sense, like fear or intrigue or sadness. "can't help myself" is poking at you and begging for a reaction. the machine dances and waves and tries to entertain you between sweeps as if it's begging for you to look at it, to analyse it, to figure out what it's doing and why it's doing it, and why you are trapped behind the glass, stuck watching it. regarding "can't help myself," sun yuan told artsy, "we see how the robot and the liquid finish by torturing each other."

with this, we return to didion and her belief that writing was a hostile act. sun yuan and peng yu went into this project hoping to communicate a strong political message that was essential to the museum that commissioned them. the museum wanted the view they could provide. from the start, this is about politics and geography and borders and immigration- so how did people end up seeing themselves in that machine? its a matter of the artists releasing the ability to maintain context. even with people learning the context of the piece, there are still those that identify with it because their interpretation means so much to them. this piece has a life of its own outside of what the artists intended for it and this inevitably happens to every piece of art. those who care about it will interpret it in a way that relates to them. if they are politically minded, they might interpret it in a political way, and for those who aren't, the piece becomes deeply emotional.

i might try to insert a piece of myself into every piece of writing i do, but there is nothing i can do to stop people from interpretting my art however they please. i find IMMENSE joy in this because its so interesting to see what i wrote and finding different versions of it inside the people it touches. dream sequences can be deeply personal for the character, but you will never know because you will never be them. for the simplest of dream sequences, the most straightforward, the most complicated, the strangest, there is an interpretation out there that blows my expectations out of the water. im constantly searching for different interpretations of stories ive read in the hopes i will find a deeper understanding of it, which is really all this post is about. dream sequences are good and people's interpretations of them make them even better and IN FACT every single piece of writing is made better by being able to turn to other people and ask them what they thought of it. understanding a piece is understanding the people around you and how the art affects them, not what the artist specifically intended by making the work.

#authorisms #fae's asks #i did not mena to go off like this i just felt crazy thinking about all of this all at once #i was on a roll. this is straight up a video essay script

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lemonade-luvr · 22 days

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I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

#asks.txt

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