#i love extremely intelligent women with deep mental and or emotional issues

[celestialtarot11]

Discussing the misconception of Pluto + more 🧘‍♀️🌟

Hi friends! A post I read talked about Pluto and its misconception in the western astrology community, and I will say I agree. I always thought of Pluto as subconsciously deep, primal, traumatic and the planet that takes away our power. The most vulnerable moments where we have just ourselves. There isn’t anything sexual about that process. There isn’t anything remotely sexual about going through circumstances that involve trauma releasing. And nothing sexy about recovery/healing from any kind of loss associated with Pluto.

It’s understandable individuals with Pluto aspects have an intensity to them, but to sexualize that and to not see beyond that intensity takes away from the true meaning of Pluto. Such individuals carry intense experiences and have roots that go deep.

Shedding light on these aspects:

Sun-Pluto individuals experience turbulence in the ego, personality, power and drive. Constantly these natives are tested, their strength and resilience especially. The native experiences situations which they feel powerless physically, mentally and emotionally.

Moon-Pluto aspects experience a loss of emotional bonding and comfort. The native struggles to connect with themselves carrying a pit of loneliness so deep, it feels like it’ll swallow them whole. Often associated with abandonment wounding, since the native feels little to no emotional permanence within themselves after a loss. Trauma taught them to disconnect from inner stability and safety.

Pluto-Venus experience power dynamic in their relationships. Protective mechanisms come up in the native to shield themselves, or they completely give themselves up to the people around them. Learned about extremes too young, and operate from one end or the other. All or nothing. Codependent as a way to keep the love in their life, even though the very same thing they love is destroying them. Chooses people who abandon them as a way to fulfill a self fulfilling prophecy, that they are not good enough and no one will love them.

Mars-Pluto has been through physical conflict of some kind. Health issues most likely. Some natives I knew encountered being in the hospital at some point. Their mind is at war and the native experienced aggression from others, and authorities failed to protect the native. Most of authority in their life wanted control over the native. The native experiences this in love as well, choosing people who are aggressive or extreme. Unless the native heals, it’s a cycle.

To know about someone sexually, their drive and behavior, look towards the Mars and Venus. Both discuss how the native experiences pleasure and loves to receive. Mars being the lust, animalistic, and primal side of the native, and Venus the sensual passionate, and compassionate side. Both planets arguably deal with our primal instincts, but Mars can be aggressive in its approach and strong, wanting to conquer, whilst Venus creates connection and is not necessarily about the self. Mars creates temptation, Venus soothes and nurtures.

Mars for men.

Venus for women.

You may wonder why then are Scorpios so sexual? It’s because they are ruled by Mars. You’re not wrong that Scorpios are sexual, but the way you look at the reason why is not inherently true. It isn’t because Pluto, the planet of subconscious trauma is making Scorpios sexual. It’s their Martian nature.

Something important to talk about is Gemini. Gemini Venus specifically, but this goes for all Gemini placements. Gemini placements are not superficial by nature, in fact seeing them only through one lenses is harmful. Gemini’s are incredibly smart, intelligent, and harbor knowledge. Ruled by Mercury, quite literally the planet of gaining knowledge efficiently, and communicating that, putting it out there. Gemini’s are observant. Knowledge is not free, you have to pay attention consistently and Gemini’s are aware of this in their true nature. Whilst Jupiter rules gaining knowledge and wisdom, Mercury denotes using it efficiently and effectively. Mercury is the way in which we teach others and we are taught to learn. Our learning style.

Gemini Venus & Gemini placements have the ability to see beyond their current circumstances, because they are agile thinkers. They know the next step intuitively, because their mind is adept to receiving and recognizing information. Gemini’s are painted as manipulative for seeing the truth and seeing beyond face value, when in reality Gemini’s understand the value of truth and perspective.

In esoteric astrology, Gemini is comfortable in Venus because Gemini knows the value of communication and the interchange of energy in love. With Gemini being ruled by Mercury, which is the way we expand our spiritual perception, it’s the beginning of exploring beyond our ego (the sun) Gemini is a process of spiritual connection, and through Gemini, we experience the soul and unconditional love. Without exploration, we’d never know what was there. So, Gemini is not a result, rather it’s the part and process to the gateway of our souls.

There is so much more to Gemini and every zodiac sign than ya’ll think! ✨🌟☀️

Moving on, associating the 8th house with sex. This house is associated with loss, grief, and trauma in traditional astrology and Vedic. It also indicates ones past life karma in Vedic astrology. It also deals with occult knowledge, spiritual insight and growth. Therefore it has no bearing sexually, as it does not relate to procreation of a child as traditional astrology intended. It’s the house of endings.

Many astrologers think the 8th house is associated with sex because they view it as a taboo act, or see it as something hidden and private.

Look to the 5th house to see sexual pleasures instead! Sex should be a reciprocal energy, not associated with loss of any kind (8h) to me, I don’t see how sex should be associated with the 8h of loss and grief.

I would love to continue this for the signs, but it would be too long to make in one post. For now, this is what I have! I appreciate any support given to this blog, and feel free to comment your feedback as it’s highly appreciated. Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🤝

#devi post #astrology community #astrology #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot deck #tarot #witchcraft #tarot reading #astrology observations #astro posts #astrology notes #astro notes

[superhero-bastards]

rules: name top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10  people

tagged by @hapijamot-hozrim, thanks a bunch ❤️

alright! here we go (by no particular order):

Gert Yorkes (Runaways)

Jessica Jones (Jessica Jones)

Felicity Smoak (Arrow)

Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex Girlfriend)

Thor Odinson (MCU)

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine Nine)

Yennefer (the Witcher)

Diana Bishop (a Discovery of Witches)

Diana Prince / Wonder Woman (DCEU)

Sam Winchester (Supernatural)

I counted all the marvel movies as one fandom, or this list would have been very different... anyway so I might have a type when it comes to faves sue me

tagging @lorelaigilmo, @chlotranya, @shakespeareanqueer. and the entirety of tumblr. just say that I tagged you if you want

#also the entire cluster from sense8 but i couldn't choose just one of them #anyway yeah #i love extremely intelligent women with deep mental and or emotional issues #usually in sci-fi or fantasy worlds #and bonus point if they're jewish #and men who are himbos #that's my brand and i'm owning it #tag game #non fandom

[bigstripeylie]

Ghosts theory- “sucked off” edition

Apologies for the title.

I have a theory about how each of the ghosts in Ghosts has a parallel with another Ghost and how this could be the key to them finally being able to move on, or “be sucked off’ as Mary would say.

Putting it behind a cut as this is extremely long and rambly. Spoilers for pretty much every episode of Ghosts

First of all I was listening to Mat and Jim on the Empire Spoilers podcast and Mat said something really interesting about how he intended “you stays how you dies” to refer to the ghost’s mental and emotional state, as well as physical. So Thomas always being obsessed with seeking love is because he died broken-hearted and Fanny always being so grumpy is because she died angry at her husband. 

I believe, therefore, that if the ghosts were able to overcome each of their emotional blocks that would be the thing that would allow them to move on. Furthermore, each of the ghosts has another ghost that seems perfectly suited to be able to assist them in that.

Let’s go through them:

Thomas- Thomas died believing his love never loved him back and now is forced to spend eternity seeking for love as a ghost. If Thomas was able to find someone who could reciprocate his affections, this would the resolve that issue. In the Series 2 episode “About Last Night” when Alison drunkenly tells Thomas “if you were alive and I was 200 years older, then we might have…” we hear a choir start singing and Thomas is pulled, as if compelled, through the wall, similar to how Fanny is pulled forwards towards the window to jump when she “doesn’t even realise [she’s] doing it.” Thomas desperately craves love and affection from another person, but in life was constantly rejected by the people he loved most. You know who else that sounds like? Kitty.

Kitty- Like Thomas, she is from a wealthy family who sheltered her a lot growing up, but is ultimately good and tries to be honourable. Kitty also craves love and affection as well as companionship and she tries to seek it, first in Eleanor and then in Alison (because Alison reminds her of  Eleanor, like how Alison reminds Thomas of Isabelle). However it comes up again and again that Kitty’s relationship with Alison isn’t as fulfilling to her as she would like it be because her being a ghost prevents her from sharing every activity with Alison, and Alison cannot show her physical affection. Kitty is trying to recreate aspects of her relationship with Eleanor using Alison as a substitute but this isn’t very healthy for her, as it simply traps her in the constant state of seeking affection that will not or cannot be returned fully. We don’t know the exact circumstances of Kitty’s death but after Series 3, if seems likely that her sister was in some way involved. Maybe what is keeping Kitty trapped as a ghost is her need for approval and love that she never got in life? But by seeking it in people who remind her of Eleanor exclusively, she is further trapping herself.

If Kitty and Thomas could find love with each other, they could each fulfil the other’s need for reciprocated affection. They are both equally needy so this quality wouldn’t likely annoy the other. Kitty seems to genuinely enjoy high romance in earnest and in finding an outlet for her love in Thomas, she could finally move on from her sister. Thomas would also find someone to love him and could devote himself completely to someone who would actually return his love, instead of fruitlessly pursuing women who remind of Isabelle’s rejection. This could lead to the resolution of both character’s finally moving on from their deaths.

Next up, let’s look at The Captain-

The Captain’s central conflict is obviously his sexuality. I believe that the resolution to this conflict would be him finally accepting and coming to terms with being gay and feeling comfortable with that part of his  identity. Which ghost could best help him in this?

Fanny. 

Maybe not the answer you were thinking, but hear me out. The Captain already has a strong positive relationship with Fanny built on mutual respect. He is more likely to value her opinion as an equal that any of the other ghosts and he seems to align himself with her on most issues. Which makes his choice to go against Fanny and defend the same-sex wedding and its guests to her in “Perfect Day” really remarkable.

In “Perfect Day”, Fanny expresses some pretty disapproving remarks about the wedding guest’s attire and some homophobic opinions about the same-sex wedding in general, which prompts the Captain to defend one of the guests to Fanny. “It’s chic, it’s now, and if it makes her feel fabulous…”

Imagine a scene where The Captain has to defend himself towards Fanny in a similar manner after coming out, showing that he is finally accepting of his sexuality as being the right thing for him. 

Anyway, that was a slight digression…

Fanny is still struggling to deal with the circumstances of her own death which was brought about in part because she caught her husband having an affair with other men. Fanny needs to accept and come to terms with the fact that her husband didn’t love her and that while he was obviously wrong for murdering her, she needs to move on so she can stop reenacting it by jumping out the window every morning. Because she died feeling angry and betrayed, she is trapped in that state in death. Discovering that one of her closest friends is gay and realising that it is possible for someone to be both gay and a good person might prompt her to think differently about her own life, as she started do with Humphrey in Perfect Day. 

The Captain, in turn, could be driven by Fanny’s ability to accept his sexuality into thinking ‘if she can accept that part of me, then maybe I can too.’ Personally, out of all the ghosts, I think it could only be Fanny who could prompt him to think that because it would mean the most to him coming from her.

Humphrey- Humphrey died because he was trying to protect Sophie, who rejected any attempt to get to know him and who he believed didn’t even like him. In death he is trapped in a state of being a selfless self-sacrificing people-pleaser and desperately wanting to be included in the other ghost’s activities, even allowing himself be kicked and thrown around if it means he can just be involved. In ‘I Love Lucy’ he even attempts to make a relationship with Fanny work, showing he is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of others.

Julian, by contrast, is the most selfish of all the ghosts at Button House. Deep down he feels guilty that his selfishness negatively affected the relationship with his daughter but seems not to be consciously aware that he feels like this. Julian’s selfishness to not spend time with his family ultimately leads to his death in Button House, as he neglected his family to spend more time at work and was clearly cheating on his wife, showing he is driven by selfish impulses.

If Julian were to perform a completely selfless act to the benefit of Humphrey, then Humphrey would get to feel as though someone was putting him first for once and valuing him the way he seeks to be valued. Julian would also break the pattern of selfish behaviour that caused his downfall.

The rest are little less well-defined:

Pat is the probably the ghost that we know the most about, through seeing his death and actually meeting his family in “Happy Death Day”, to the numerous anecdotes he reveals about his life throughout the show. However, I can’t decide for sure what is the thing that is keeping him a ghost. Pat himself seemed to think it was that he was missing his family, but this was ultimately proved wrong after he saw them again in ‘Happy Death Day’. Even meeting the boy who killed him and forgiving him in ‘Perfect Day’ didn’t cause him to move on. It could be something to do with Carol’s affair with Maurice but I just don’t know for sure. I like the idea of him fitting in with the plague ghosts. I think his personalty and leadership style would get along better with them than say, The Captain, who is too authoritarian. I also think Pat is someone who thrives in a group setting.

Robin and Mary are also tricky to work out what the thing keeping them as ghosts is because we know so little about their lives and deaths compared to the other characters. I think these are the only two ghosts who have not yet received a flashback to their lives. We know that Mary was in some way involved a witch-trail and this has traumatised her. Robin also has experienced a lot of trauma in his life but he seems to be more philosophical about it and accepting of it. He shows great empathy towards others both in trying to comfort Pat about his death in “Happy Death Day’ and Kitty in “About Last Night’, he could use his experience of trauma to help Mary deal with hers. They both seem to be looked down upon and ‘othered’ by the other ghosts due to their perceived lack of intelligence even though they are both very emotionally and socially intelligent.

If anyone has any thoughts about these last two pairings or any of the others, then please reblog and add your take!

I am not in any way saying that I think this is what will happen in the next series or what even I think should happen, but that this is one possibilities for much further down the road when the ghost are all ready to move on.

Also I have spent way too much time thinking about this…

#bbc ghosts #the captain #kitty bbc ghosts #thomas thorne #julian fawcett #robin bbc ghosts #mary bbc ghosts #fanny button #headless humphrey #plague ghosts #pat butcher #Horrible Histories #mat baynton #ben willbond #jim howick #larry rickard #martha howe douglas #simon farnaby

[blknwld]

11/29 Pleasure Principles: Exploring The Medicine of Pleasure for Black Women Convo Resources

In this conversation, we discussed our definition of pleasure, our relationship to it, what we have been taught about pleasure by our families and social institutions, how to create a pleasure practice in real time and how Black Women in pleasure act as a healing and revolutionary force for ourselves, our friends, our lovers and our communities. During the chat I (as well as a few attendees) shared a few medicines to work with in order to facilitate pleasure in our lives. Here’s a recap of what was shared:

Herbal Therapy for Pleasure 

Mother Earth provides for her children because she wants us well and she also wants us to experience pleasure, happiness and joy. The following herbs have resonance with pleasure. Not only do many of these herbs strengthen the nervous system to facilitate ease, relaxation and receptivity in the body, they serve several emotional and spiritual functions as well.

Lavender: Gives a sense of peace and stillness in the mind and body, relieves tension, aids in getting unstuck from old mental habits, eases shyness, self consciousness and embarrassment by engendering relaxation, calms frustration and irritability, an aphrodisiac that attracts male lovers, resonates with throat and third eye chakra

Rose: Known as the Queen of the Flowers, promotes an appreciation for beauty and pleasure of all kinds, balances yin energy in order to give an overall sense of well being, promotes self love and compassion, supports the ability to heal from rejection and deep loss that inhibits openness to pleasure, joy and happiness, aphrodisiac that helps to embrace sensuality and sexuality, inspires creativity and fertility, promotes heart chakra healing

Damiana: Aphrodisiac in nature, promotes a sense of groundedness for full embodiment and presence, provides energy and vitality in the face of exhaustion and fatigue, arouses feelings of lust and desire and awakens sexual appetite, facilitates the healing of sexual hang ups, inhibitions and trauma, promotes creativity through activating vision and inspiration, resonates with sacral and third eye chakra

Lemonbalm: Promotes joy, happiness in the heart and good cheer, chases away melancholy, grief and sadness, promotes creativity and self expression, works to address the inner child and mother/feminine wounds to cultivate goddess energy, works in strengthening/healing the heart chakra

Chamomile: Calms the mind and body, relieves feelings of anger, irritation and overheating, soothes inner child wounds, assists in releasing frustration around not having wants and needs met, gives a nurturing mothering energy, assists with tendencies to over-control and promote letting go in a healthy way, promotes comfort with receiving what others have to give, supports a sunny disposition, resonates with solar plexus and throat chakra

Jasmine: Aphrodisiac in nature and reawakens the sensual/sexual nature, especially when it has been repressed by fear, frigidity and anxiety, reawakens feelings of desirability, beauty and attractiveness, helps address feelings of inadequacy, promotes creativity and feelings of being divinely inspired, supports intuition, promotes rest and high quality sleep, resonates with heart chakra and third eye chakra 

Ylang Ylang: Helps address and eradicate fear surrounding pleasure, sensuality and sexuality, promotes reconnection to the body and to the senses, uplifts and relaxes the body and mind, quells inhibitions, assists in relieving depression and anxiety, resonates with the heart and sacral chakra 

Explore the herbs in whatever way you see fit. Not only can these be enjoyed via formal medicines like teas, tinctures, flower essences, yoni steams etc, they can also be incorporated in magickal/spiritual workings, baths, aromatherapy, smoke blends, in self/body care products etc. Something as simple as burning a candle or incense with the fragrance of the herb can be healing. Simply be sure to research your herbs first and consult with a medical professional before ingesting. 

Breathwork 

The element of air is crucial! The body has to breathe. Many of us are not breathing deeply enough and therefore our bodies are not fully alive, fully engaged or fully primed for pleasure. Make a practice of breathing deeply, all the way down through the stomach and the genitals. Tonglen Meditation is an example of breathwork that not only helps us circulate air throughout our bodies, but also assists in transmuting undesirable energy and teaches us the art of giving and receiving. 

Inner Child Work

Many Black Women were robbed of the opportunity to just be girls. Therefore many of us are disconnected from the part of us that is carefree, imaginative and light hearted. Inner child work can help to reclaim this aspect and reacquaint us with what delights and satisfies us. Taking time to consider what you used to enjoy as a child/what you always wanted to do/be/have as a child is a simple yet powerful piece of shadow work that teaches to play and imagine our way back to pleasure, aliveness and pure joy. 

Chakra Engagement 

The health and functioning of our feminine chakras (energy centers) play a large role in our ability to perceive, receive and experience pleasure. 

Sacral Chakra: The seat of creative power, stores our emotional experiences and those of our ancestors, deals with relationships, the ability to connect, the ability to feel and experience pleasure. When balanced we are juicy, comfortable with our sensuality/sexuality, able to experience healthy relationships of all kinds, have good emotion regulation and good taste and are able to give and receive pleasure with ease. We are able to play the role of the Empress. When out of balance, there can be shame, guilt, fear, codependency, martyrdom, self denial, issues with addiction, frigidity and disengagement from the senses that inhibits the ability to experience satisfaction and pleasure. This chakra is supported by staying hydrated, spending time by water, movement of the body, making time for creative self expression and leisure, yoni steaming, herbs such as ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, orange, ylang ylang, jasmine and crystals such as carnelian, citrine, orange calcite, tiger’s eye and moonstone.

Heart Chakra: The connector chakra, speaks to our ability to give and receive, holds genetic, ancestral and past life memories, deals with issues of self worth, deservedness and self esteem, helps us perceives beauty in ourselves, in others and in the world and speaks to upholding boundaries. When balanced we are able to receive just as much as we give and experience reciprocity, feel worthy and hold ourselves in high regard. We can show up healthily as the lover, of people and of live. When out of balance we may have poor boundaries, an inability or refusal to receive, experience relationships with unsatisfying power dynamics, a poor self image, be plagued by the issues of our ancestors/our past life selves and a lack of appreciation for the beauty of life. This chakra is supported by loving affirmations, exposure to beauty and culture, honest communication and connecting authentically with others, herbs such as rose, lemonbalm, sandalwood, bergamot and mint and crystals such as rose quartz, rhodonite, rhodochrosite, chrysocolla, malachite and pink opal.

Third Eye Chakra: The place of vision, speaks to our ability to perceive beyond our 5 primary senses, deals with our ability to dream and allows us to correctly discern. When in balance, we are able to receive intuitive messages from our bodies about what is pleasurable and good for us, imagine new possibilities for lives and instinctively know the truth. We are able to rest in the energy of the High Priestess. When out of balance, we lack vision, are prone to deception by self and others and disconnected from divine intelligence. This chakra is supported by meditation, dreamwork, healthy sleep and rest routines, prayer, visualization, herbs such as mugwort, lavender, frankincense, passionflower and holy basil and crystals such as herkimer diamond, amethyst, lapis lazuli, lepidolite and clear quartz. 

Ancestral Practice

Living in pleasure is an intergenerational affair. We inherit many of our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and patterns around pleasure from our ancestral lineage. It can be extremely impactful to bring up the issues of pleasure, happiness, joy and satisfaction at our altars for healing, insight and wisdom. Consulting with the ancestral mothers (and the daddies, too) can help us heal and untangle intergenerational traumas for ourselves and for our dead. Many of our ancestors did not have opportunities to experience the pleasure we now have access to now and they want us to get our inheritance. If you are interested in learning how to begin/nurture an ancestral practice, we recommend checking out the following reputable practitioners and priestesses:

A Little Juju Podcast  @Jujubae

Satarra @iamsatarra

Iyalosa Osunyemi Akalatunde @got2boshun

Negarra A Kudumu @negarraakudumu

Astrological Moon and Venus

Planets in astrology represent psychological impulses and can shed light on how we receive pleasure, what we deem pleasurable and how we can get our needs met. The planet Venus is the planet associated with affinity, our tastes, preferences and likes, style of connecting, how we give and receive affection (love language), receptivity, femininity, aesthetics and sensuality. The moon is associated with the body and its cycles, physical and emotional needs, our natural instincts and what is inherited through the bloodline, particularly through our foremothers. Taking time to explore the chart can assist in getting us acquainted with what we want and what we need to maximize the pleasure we experience in our day to day lives. I recommend checking out the following astrologers for more information:

The People’s Oracle (Sidereal Astrology)

Samuel F. Reynolds (Tropical Astrology)

Sagittarian Mind (Tropical Astrology)

Books

We stan a book over here. These are suggested reads from me and a couple of the beautiful ladies who contributed to the conversation.

“Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good” x adrienne maree brown 

“Please: Radical Self-Care for Wild Women of Color” and “Pussy Prayers” x Black Girl Bliss 

Chakras and Their Archetypes: Uniting Energy Awareness and Spiritual Growth x Ambika Wauters 

“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century” x Barbara Carrellas 

Fascinating Womanhood  x Helen Andelin

The Herbal Alchemist’s Handbook: A Complete Guide to Magickal Herbs and How to Use Them x Karen Harrison 

[fizzyxcustard]

Diary (Richard Edition) - 3

Part 1 Part 2

Complete fan fiction masterlist here

Fandom: Richard Armitage (real person)

Pairings: Richard Armitage x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut, sexual references, loneliness, insecurity, reader insert, first person perspective for diary entries (maybe more but they will be added as the story continues)

Comments/Notes: This imagine was originally written for Thorin and a fic started around him. However, many thanks to @fangirlextraordinaire for sending me the above image and inspiring me to write ‘Diary’ for Richard.

Follow Forever tag list: @himoverflowers @shikin83 @theincaprincess @deepestfirefun @nowiloveandwilllove @houseofrahl @mynameisnoneya1991 @blankdblank @captainrainbowpanda @cd1242 @c-s-stars @thorins-magnificent-ass @patanghill17 @trees-and-ink @inumorph @leah-halliwell92  @msjava1972 @bespectacled-bunny @ghostlyandee @raindancer2004 @dottiechan @captain-almighty @hobbitlover23 @catthefearless @epicallychrissy @nelswp @adaliamalfoy @spn-obsession @armitageadoration @peneigh-dzredfohl @here2have-fun @xxbyimm @greendragonette @littlebird54 @thophil2941btw @princessoferebor94 @banlaochranda @wilhelmyna @gabrieleaquaman @rachel1959 @serpensortia06 @rcrispina @kategorically-challenged @tigereyesf @jumpingmanatee @alae-megallen @tschrist1 @inlovewithamantwicemyage @aspiringtranslator @princessofthefandomrealm @letsbeinspiredby @lilith15000 @lealina-scarsdale @scarsfanfictiontrash

Diary (Richard Edition) tag: @sherala007 @sdavid09 @inhabitant-of-the-void

Your diary was a means of temptation creeping into Richard; normally he was a man who wasn’t tempted easily. He had practised decent self-control over the years, even as a child. But this particular situation was proving too much. And he would only have a few more hours until you landed in England, and would no doubt call, asking for the whereabouts of your journal. 

Richard binged on coffee and your journal entries, taking quick breaks when he found an entry particularly hard to swallow. In one instance you had delved into your issues of self-hatred and the insecurity you always felt. Your mind was a revolving swirl of negative attitudes that would tell you no man would ever want you. You were only mediocre. Other women were always the centre of attention, but you were nothing special. 

I'll never be anything special, and especially with Richard. That one sentence he had seen many times littered throughout your entries. It made Richard begin to wonder how you viewed him. It was apparent from your words that you felt the actor to be extremely out of your reach. Which was a lie. 

Then there was the dilemma of Richard admitting his budding feelings for you. Surely, you as an intelligent woman, would notice that he had admitted to falling for you on the same day you had left your journal behind in his apartment. You would automatically realise that he had read your words. 

Richard placed your journal down on the coffee table and rubbed his stubbled chin, trying to grab hold of any way that he could admit to you that your feelings were reciprocated. But he wanted to carry it out in such a way that didn’t make it appear too obvious he had read your entries. 

You finally landed in England six hours after take off. The whole journey had been absolute hell. Your heart was racing the majority of the flight paired with constant fidgeting in your seat. The couple seated next to you had glared at you in disapproval many times, whispering under their breath about how inconsiderate you were and irritating. But you had ignored it, terrified at the thought of your journal being missing. Had you taken it out of your bag going through security? Then realisation hit you, like a sledgehammer. You remembered walking out of Richard’s spare bedroom, heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth, and you looked down at your diary, making a mental note to pick it up. Only, you hadn’t picked it up. After brushing your teeth, you had noticed the time and rushed out of the room with your suitcase and handbag. 

Would Richard read it? 

As you disembarked the Virgin Atlantic flight, the stewards and stewardesses offered you smiles, but all you could do was give them a terrified, lop-sided grin. 

You picked up your car from the airport car park and sat behind the wheel for a few minutes, feeling tears race down your cheeks. The sheer anxiety of the whole situation had overwhelmed you to such an extent that your emotions had gone haywire. 

There was no way you could call Richard now and ask him directly about your journal. He probably had read it and was sat on his couch, laughing uncontrollably at all your gushing entries about how you loved him. You imagined him speaking in a high-pitched voice, over dramatising your actions. “Oh, Richard. You are to die for.” Then he would laugh in your face, guffawing. Spiteful words would come, telling you how pathetic you were for even imagining that he would love someone like you. 

You took a deep breath, turned on your car ignition and began the journey home, trying to push away any consideration of calling Richard. 

The music playing on your CD player seemed to ease you somewhat, and then you stopped for dinner at the motorway services. 

Inside the large complex, you opted for fish and chips with a large coffee and sat down at the back, behind crowds of chattering people. Thoughts of your journal came back to your mind, making you grow nauseous as you eat your battered fish. You grimaced at the food and closed your eyes, pushing away tears again. Breaths were coming quickly now and the voices around you had grown unbearable in your ears. 

You grabbed your food and drink, and exited the food court, heading back to your car. It was dark now and you could see the shimmer of moonlight and rain droplets on all the parked vehicles. The air felt cool and refreshing as you walked back to the one place of solace you had, your car. 

Richard stood in his kitchen and looked at the clock on the wall. 6pm. Surely you were home. UK time was five hours ahead of US. His eyes kept glancing over to his iPhone on the counter which was playing his latest playlist. Your open journal was next to his folded arms as he leaned over the counter. 

With a deep sigh, Richard picked up his phone and found your contact details, calling you. He swallowed hard and rubbed his eyes. The line rang out for around thirty seconds before your timid voice answered. 

“Umm, hello?” you asked, your voice almost a whisper. 

Richard knew something was wrong, immediately noting the change in your voice. “I hope I haven’t disturbed you. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. I was a bit worried because you didn’t call me.” 

“No, I got home okay. I’ve just been packing my stuff away and I’m relaxing in bed with the telly on,” you replied. Something wasn’t right. Usually your voice would sound happy, and Richard could sense your smiles beaming down the line. 

“I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry for bothering you so late,” he said again. “Give me a call when you’re free.” 

“I will do. Look after yourself. Bye, Rich.” 

Richard was shocked by your attitude on the phone. It was cold, vague and so unlike you. 

He glanced sideways at the journal. You knew he’d got it. 

You lay in bed, knowing that you shouldn’t have spoken to Richard in the way you had. But you were now terrified of him. Your vulnerability, your secrets and your whole heart were open for someone else to see. Richard would be able to gaze into your inner world, finding out that you were suffering from anxiety, that you were in love with a man whom you beloved was completely out of your league, and that you felt lonely in a world full of superficial beings, all perpetuating a sense that beauty and possession were the way to happiness. 

Not many people in your life stayed for long, finding someone better to turn their attention to. And now that your journal had fallen into Richard’s hands, the one person you trusted more than anyone else, your true trust in him was about to be put to the test. 

#Richard armitage #Richard armitage x reader #Richard armitage x you #Richard armitage x fem!reader #reading your diary #warnings #Richard x you #Richard x reader #Richard x fem!reader #reader insert #2nd person perspective #anxiety #insecurity

[cakepopastrology-blog]

The stars predicted Jonghyun’s death

First off, I am not making this to offend anyone. I am a Shawol and was absolutely devastated when our beautiful boy died, and with SHINee’s new album coming out and watching their music videos, I began thinking back to December. I started thinking of astrology, then I looked up some aspects that can indicate depression.

//I’m not making fun of mental illness. I used to have depression and I have some of the aspects that will be mentioned in the list below. I am also not making this to poke fun at Jonghyun, SHINee, or shawols. I am simply analyzing what went on in our poor boy’s head on the evening of his departure. Also, in no way am I saying I’m an expert at astrology. There are still many things I don’t know and would be glad to be corrected if I’m wrong on something.//

Let’s begin with Jonghyun’s natal aspects that are known to indicate depression or emotional difficulties.

Sun square Saturn

•It’s no surprise that anything harshly depicted by Saturn is not very good, and this is no exception

•People with this placement want to be considered accomplished and important

•They faced a fair number of challenges especially in the first half of life, in which attempts to express their will were often thwarted (his relationship to his father is known to be very difficult)

•They long to be considered important in the eyes of the world, yet they harbor fear of success at the same time

•They take failures and minor setbacks to heart, and some practically beat themselves up over them

•Self-conscious to no end

•These people have a sarcastic sense of humor, a keen intelligence, and the ability to apply caution and strategy

•It is very much about what they feel they deserve

•Self-censoring

•“I shouldn’t..”

•They feel they shouldn’t want too much, or else they feel guilty

•The censoring and parenting is coming from within

•Their standards are extremely, most times impossibly high

•They feel as if they’ll never live up to their own impossible standards

•People with this aspect fear feeling useless, for lack of a better word

Moon trine Saturn

•Self-sacrificing

•Those with Moon trine Saturn have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities

•What others think gets factored into the overall reality assessment, which in turn determines what they do

•Emotional maturity, patience

•This aspect indicates loyalty to and from family, and respect for women (the last person he contacted before suicide was his older sister)

•Their dependable nature earns the respect of young people and the general public

Mars square Pluto

•This is a powerful aspect suggesting very often seeing extremes of behavior and experiences, or going through more crises than most

•The native may be no stranger to violence or abuse

•They are wonderful to have around in times of crises

•Desires are deep, intense, and sometimes troubling

•Compulsive behaviors should be watched carefully, as they can consume and lead the person to risky endeavors and difficult scenarios

•A strong desire to be in control.

 •It’s also possible that they experience many extremes in life, and are on the receiving end of difficult tempers more than most

•Pessimistic

•Will do things that others only talk about or dream about

•Artistic creation, drama, or other areas in which they can express themselves imaginatively are excellent

•When they want something, they are very determined

•It can be “all or nothing”

•They fear betrayal and abandonment

•Power struggles and control issues may surface often in their relationships

•They perceive the cruel edge in people, and understand its source

Also, having Pluto in Scorpio is quite a difficult placement when adding the other factors of his depression together. Another thing to note is that his Mars was within 30 degrees of his Saturn, which is an indicator of taking your own life. I’m sure he had hard housing placements as well, but I don’t know the time of his birth so I can’t look into that information.

Now, to what was happening in the sky on December 18th, 2017.

Saturn had something to do with this. Are you surprised? I’m not.

Saturn was beginning to transit from Sagittarius into Capricorn, which only happens every two and a half years, and it decided to change signs on December 19th, a day after Jonghyun’s death. The energy in the sky of the moving Saturn must’ve thrown poor Jonghyun off, and maybe caused him to be on-edge.

It was also a new moon in Sagittarius, which Saturn was in conjunction to.

“Saturn’s alignment with the New Moon helps us keep things realistic, but with Saturn at the very end of its transit of Sagittarius, we may feel some pressure to make changes or tie up loose ends. Our new beginnings get off to a serious and slow start, even though we may want to push harder.”

“The Moon aligns with Saturn shortly before it enters Capricorn, we’re inclined to take things quite seriously or turn our attention to serious or practical concerns.”

Jonghyun must’ve felt so overwhelmed. All the hard aspects in malefic planets pinned against him must have been absolutely horrible to experience in his life. I actually had to stop writing this a few times to cry because it was just too much. After finding all this out, I understand how important astrology truly is and I hope Jonghyun is finally happy and able to accept himself. I miss him so much. Correct me if I got any of these aspects incorrect, thank you.

I want you to know that you are loved and no matter what’s going on, someone will cry if you die. Please never do what Jonghyun did. For him, it may have seemed like the only choice, but I know for a fact that there’s always another way. I love you, and please take care of yourself❤️

#jonghyun #kim jonghyun #suicde #jonghyun suicide #kpop #astrology #kpop astrology #shinee #5hinee #jonghyun astrology #suicide astrology

[delsonbundrick97]

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#Premature Ejaculation With New Partners Unbelievable Ideas #Premature Ejaculation Paroxetine

[hipandcriticalblog]

Jamm’s Top 7 Must See Netflix Series

Monday, August 28, 2017 7:50 PM by. Jae Covington (Jamm)

  We are all familiar with the juggernaut streaming service NETFLIX and its mega successful and award winning  series’ like House of Cards and Orange Is The New Black. While these shows are well deserving of all the glory that they have received, there are still a wealth of less recognized series that deserve some of the spotlight  as well. So here is my list of seven essential shows for your viewing pleasure on NETFLIX.

1. Sense 8    Let's start off with the most well known show from the list, Sense 8. The series has been making waves recently due to its fans loud uproar of disapproval following the shows cancellation, right after the release of its second season. But if you take the time to experience this epic sci-fi drama/thriller, you'll no doubt join in on all of the rage.

 Sense 8 introduces the idea that there is a more evolved species of human on the planet called sensates (get sense 8, sensate), with the ability to share memories, emotions, and all senses with other sensates. These amazing abilities combine to make a another one called "visiting". Visiting is kinda like making a projection of yourself directly into someone else's consciousness, something like a hologram. While the premise is enough to bring you into the story, the characters and their interactions with one another is definitely what keeps you engaged. The story revolves around, you guessed it, 8 characters in a cluster (you'll learn about the term from the show) from all over the world. Each character has their own unique background, talents, and personalities which vary greatly from the other characters. Like Capheus, a Kenyan bus driver living in the slums of Nairobi and Nomi, a transgender lesbian hacker from San Francisco.

    The show dedicates itself to exposing the nuance of the lives that the characters live, and introducing that same nuance and culture  to people who would never experience it. It is an extremely engaging show to say the least, full of likable characters, drama, and action. This short summary won't give it its due justice, so you should just experience it yourself.

2.       3%    Now when I first started 3% I had no idea what I was watching and what to expect. But I ended up witnessing a thrilling and thought provoking series that I highly recommend. 3% takes place in a dystopian Brazil, where the mass majority of people live in extreme poverty and in a desolate landscape, where people fight and die over resources like food and water. Meanwhile, a small chunk of the population live in a complete paradise separated from the mainland called "The Offshore".

   The main plot is people from the mainland trying to get to the The Offshore, but the only way to achieve this is through an extreme series of testing simply called "The Process". While the plot was beginning to open up, I thought I was going to get another Hunger Games clone but I was lead into something much more dramatic and thought provoking. 3% is like the Hunger Games however, only a certain amount of people can participate. But unlike Hunger Games however, instead of picking children and teenagers, all participants are 21. Also instead of an all out battle royale, the process includes mental challenges and teamwork in some cases in order to advance.

   This show delivers drama, action, mystery, and even a revenge story pulled together into a single narrative creating a must see series.

3.       The OA    Straight up, this show is weird. Usually, I can predict plot points before they are revealed while watching movies or a new series. This however was not the case for The OA. This series left me full of questions and a deep need to find out what is going to happen after the first season. Fair warning: This show will confuse you, but nonetheless, you should watch it.

   In a nutshell, the show tells the story of a blind girl who was kidnapped, but then years later returns to her hometown, with her vision once more. Unfortunately, if I go any more into detail about the story it would spoil too much...so strap in for this one because The OA will take you on a wild ride.

4.       Ozark    If you love gritty crime shows with rich character building and an intense plot, then welcome to your new favorite show, Ozark. This show grabbed me at the first episode and never loosened its grip on my attention and imagination. The series follows an intelligent Chicago financial advisor Marty Byrd, who is also a money launderer for a huge Mexican drug cartel. The basic premise of the show is based around Marty trying to launder 5 million dollars within a short time frame of a few weeks for the cartel, or the cartel will kill him and his family. The show takes a slow start in the first episode but it makes up for it drastically, with a major increase in tension towards the end of the episode.

 In order to launder this mass amount of money Marty takes his family to Ozark, Missouri, a small country lake town in order to capitalize on the large tourist population during the summer. The show is very reminiscent of Breaking Bad. The difference is this show does right when Breaking Bad starts to fall off. Personally, I started to lose interest in Breaking Bad when Walter White connects to the South American drug lord. The interplay between the two characters didn't really add any more drama to the show and I thought the drug lord played too much of a role in the plot, but with Ozark it's the opposite. Every time you see the cartel after the first episode, it's nothing but intensity. Instead of being always seen the cartel thrives in the background but reappears just enough to stay relevant without overdoing it.

   All in all, this show is simply amazing and I highly recommend it to drama show lovers.

5.       Chewing Gum   Sexual, Awkward, Hilarious, are the words that comes to mind when I think about Chewing Gum. This series takes raunchy comedy to an entirely new level. In its two seasons it has become a comedic masterpiece that is choke-full of truly laugh out loud moments. The story revolves around a young woman named Tracey, that’s trying desperately to lose her virginity despite the rules of her highly religious mother. Now one might think this plot to be simple and easy to overcome, but when you are as awkward and so out of touch as Tracey your idea of simple might change.

    The wild and outrageous situations that she finds herself in in the pursuit of sex are to die for. I must admit though, that not all the jokes land well but those are few and far in-between, and the ones that do hit hard and are memorable and will keep you laughing for minutes on end. What makes this show stand out to me however is the fact that Tracey is black. We really don’t see black women in leading comedic roles, nor do we see them actively looking to engage in sex.

This BAFTA winning series is by far one of my favorites on the air right now. It's refreshing, funny, honest, and truly worth your time to watch.

6.       Grace&Frankie    To keep the comedy wagon rolling next up is this "buddy buddy" comedy that brings "old eyes" on current issues. This series will definitely will be one that will be discussed for years to come, due to how it handles topics like; sexuality, ageism,  infidelity, and family issues. And it only helps that it's funny as well. The best way to describe this story is messy, as it follows two older married couples Grace and Robert and Frankie and Saul whom are all friends via Saul and Robert, who are also partners in their own law firm. Where things get messy is when Saul and Robert both come out as gay and in love with each other and have been over the majority of both of their marriages. So to help each other through the situation that they both found themselves in, Grace and Frankie both move in together to be apart from their ex-husbands. I needed some sanitizer writing this because it gets so messy, as this is just the basic premise of the show.

   But through all of this drama and heartbreak the series still finds the space to fit in plenty of comedy in the mix. Mainly the comedic relief falls on Frankie and hippy like lifestyle as it clashes with Grace's upper class and bourgeois status and sensibility. As stated before, the show really shines by its ability to integrate current topics to older characters, which is very seldom seen in television. I really enjoyed watching both Grace and Frankie trying to re-enter the dating scene after being with one person for over 20 years. The show also does a good job of sharing screen time with all of its characters including the children of both marriages, all of whom are complete individuals and have their own storylines to follow.

   In my opinion, Grace&Frankie is one of the best crafted shows that you will see on television. So if you haven't seen it log on to Netflix and delve right into it, you deserve it.

7.       Black Mirror    This show just might be my favorite thing on the entire Netflix platform. It might even be my favorite television show period. Yeah it’s that good. It’s definitely the most complex show on the list, and no doubt will be the hardest to describe...so let’s just get into it. First off, every episode is different so there is no continuity nor connectivity with each episode, just one recurring theme of how technology has, is, and might affect people and society as a whole. The lack of continuity was confusing at first, because the series gives no indication of it, so I was taken back at first, but the feeling faded as I got into the second episode and beyond.

    The show really plays out like a collection of movies instead of television series, due to the quality of the production and how immersive every episode is. What I truly enjoy about this series is that every episode provokes thought and the feeling of "What if that were to really happen to me/us?". A great example of when I felt this sensation is in an episode where the bee population is so low that a company created mechanical bees to make up for the low natural bee population. The problem however is when someone hacks into the artificial bee's systems and start using them to kill people who are chosen over twitter via people attaching their name to a certain hashtag. The show gets deep and when you are watching it it becomes hard to turn away and remove yourself from your captivation to it.

    I can never do this masterpiece any justice from this short description of it. You just have to immerse yourself into it to truly understand how great it is.

   So that’s it with the list of my top seven must see shows. So take a day or two for yourself, and your favorite binge buddy, grab some snacks, and start checking off the shows on your new watch list.

#Netflix #list #shows #sense8 #black mirror #grace & frankie #chewing gum #3% #3% netflix #ozark #ozark netflix #the oa #jamm #the oa netflix #article #J. Covington #Jamm's Top 7 Must see Netflix Series

[wingsy-keeper-of-songs]

Here’s some more Nora

I changed a few things regarding my Django OC Nora Kingsbury. She’s known to the masses nowadays as Nora Lémieux because I said so. x3 I have a lot of her history written down here, but I’m sans a good FC for her. I was going to use Robin Wright, but I just don’t think she has the right look I’m going for. If you guys have any ideas, I’d love to hear them! So, here’s a shit-ton of OC information that no one asked for. Enjoy.

Section 1: The Basics 1A. What is your character's full name? Eleanor June Lémieux 1B. Was it their parents that named them that? If not, who? Nora was named after her paternal grandmother, and it was at her father’s bequest. 1C. Is there any special meaning behind the name? The name Eleanor has a long history with queens, and it was because of that history that I chose it. Plus, I just really like the name.

2A. How old are they now? Nora is in her late thirties to early forties 2B. Where were they born? Nora was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania but primarily raised in Macon County, Georgia 3A. What's their race?

Caucasian 4A. Where do they stand on the social pyramid? She’s comfortably middle class and lives in a relatively nice flat above a bookstore. Section 2: Lifestyle 1A. Do they have a job/occupation? What is it? Yes she does. She’s a schoolteacher. 1B. What motivates them to keep doing this job?

Nora may not seem like it, but she does like children. She enjoys teaching, especially encouraging young girls to read. She’s quite motherly and tends to be something of a hen. 1C. What job would they rather have?

In all honesty, I think she’s pretty happy where she is. She likes teaching and she greatly enjoys the children. 2A. What are their religious views? Her family is Catholic/Southern Baptist, but she herself is nonreligious 3A. what have they accomplished? When?

Well, she happens to be an intelligent woman circa the Civil War Era. She hasn’t died in childbirth yet or done anything remotely terrible to other people (other than seducing murderers while her friend shoots them in the face, but that doesn’t count). She’s got a pretty decent job for a woman in the American South, she can hold her own in a fight, all in all I think she’s doing fairly well. 4A. Are they a part of any organizations? She joined a woman’s suffragette party. Because of reasons. 5A. What do they do in their spare time? Nora greatly enjoys reading. She favors French literature and her favorite book is The Three Musketeers (she is loathe to find out Candie enjoys it as well). She enjoys listening to German classical composers, mostly Schubert (he’s Austrian, but she claims there is little difference. It’s one of those delightful debates she has with Schultz). She also likes to go for walks in the park on Sundays and look at hats. Section 3: Psychology 1A. Describe their basic personality.

Nora is a feisty firecracker of a woman hidden beneath a demure outward appearance. She’s extremely quick-witted and dry-humored, and she can come across as arrogant very easily. She’s not prone to the realm of extreme emotion often and can come across as unfeeling. She has a very strong moral sense of justice and is quick to judge. 2A. What part of their personality really stands out? If any part? Her sarcastic wit is famous throughout her aunt’s social circles. Rumor has it that she picked it up from her grandmother from beyond the grave. 3A. How do they view life? Are they an optimist? Pessimist? Realist? Idealist?

Nora tries to be an optimist, but it’s rather difficult when you’re a woman during an era where women were nothing more than pretty dolls on a shelf to be admired for a bit and then cast aside when their beauty fades. She’s absolutely a realist with idealistic tendencies and these are among other things she gets into debates with Schultz about. 4A. When it comes to making tough a tough decision, do they rely on thought or feeling? Faith or fact? Absolutely she relies on thought and fact. She prefers not to be seen as a well of emotions as men were prone on viewing women (and still are). There are few times where her anger can get the better of her, but she prefers to stuff that deep down inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. 5A. Do they have a sense of humor? She’s extremely dry, yes. Schultz greatly enjoys it when they’re caustic little shits together. 6A. What motivates them to keep moving? The will to just live as well as she possibly can. 7A. What do they desire in life? The right to vote would be a good start. 8A. What are they afraid of? Horses. Horses and heights. 9A. Are they superstitious about anything? No. 10A. What secrets do they keep, if anything? Nora is not a very secretive person. There are some things that she’d rather keep to herself, but nothing jarring. She has very few skeletons in her closet and she prefers to be open and brashly honest about things. This usually lands her in trouble. 10B. How well are these secrets kept? It takes quite a bit to get her to trust someone openly enough to spill any secrets, so I would say fairly well. Section 3: Mental Abilities 1A. What can/cannot they do mentally? (ie, IQ, certain school subjects, mental/emotional health)

She is an absolute master with literature and wordage. She loves the musicality of language and she has an excellent memory. She’s not quite as in touch with her emotions as she should seem, and often comes across as cold and arrogant.

1B. What are they strongest at? She is strongest with language. She can find just the right words to express how she feels or the right passage to say what she means.

1C. What are they weakest at?

Her emotions are well-guarded and very much a treasure. She is not prone to passionate outbursts as some would like to believe, but get her angry enough and she will explode like a tiny blonde volcano. 2A. What do they like to do?

She likes to read and write letters. She also greatly enjoys arguing and debates. 3A. What do they hate to do? She hates having to dumb herself down or to play the simpering dumb blonde. It’s demeaning and very much something she’s had to do before. She loathes it.

4A. Were they educated? Absolutely. 4B. If so, did they enjoy it? Very much so, yes.

4C. for how long? She’s got a basic ladies education and some charm school (she never graduated because she was kicked out for radical ideas and sassing the teachers)

Section 4: History

1B. What do they remember most about it?

She mostly remembers arguing with her teachers about certain points in history and societal views on marriage, owning property, ect. Add to the fact that she did not have many friends at this point that she could talk to. She was rather lonely at school.

2A. What were their teen years like? It was full of frills and lace and it’s something she shudders to think about. This would be around the time that her Aunt Jessie took her in and started grooming her to be a good Southern debutante. This means charm school, girl’s boarding school, things of that sort. She was sort of groomed into the perfect wife, but it made her angry and bitter. She’s like a tiny human espresso.

3A. What do they struggle to accomplish? Being a woman in the Civil War Era, you struggle with a lot of things. Men do not take her seriously when they absolutely should, people don’t listen to her, her emotional health is all over the place from her concealing everything inside, the woman is a mess of issues. 4A. What do they regret the most; if anything? She greatly regrets moving down to Georgia. She completely ruined her relationship with her mother in that regard and there are times when she wishes things could have been different between them. 5A. How did they end up on their current path? Was it their choice? Yes and no. Her aunt took her in when her mother was at her wit’s end and that was beyond her control, but she made the choice to run away from her own engagement party and fraternize with a dentist turned bounty hunter.

6A. Did anything serious happen that changed their life forever? Absolutely. Meeting Dr. Schultz completely changed her life around, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. She likes to joke that it was for the worse, but he knows better.

Section 5: Family 1A. Who are their parents? Jacqueline and George Lémieux 2A. What is their sexual orientation? Nora is a boring run-of-the-mill heterosexual 3A. Are they involved with anyone romantically? Who?

You bet your ass she is, but she’ll never admit it. Dr. Schultz is her dearest and closest friend, and there are times where she feels they’re more than that. She usually keeps that to herself. 3B. What do they like/love about this person? what do they dislike or hate? She is in love with his mind, his manner of speaking, his quick thinking and his sense of morality. What she doesn’t like is his stubbornness and pride. And his innate selfishness. She could smack some sense into that man, seriously.

4A. Do they have a best friend? Who?

She doesn’t really have friends? Nora is a quiet and closed-off sort of person, though she does get on well with Hildy. 4B. Why are they best friends? I don’t think anyone could not like Broomhilda. She’s adorable and sweet and must be protected at all costs. Nora likes her because of her unrelenting spirit and because she has someone she can learn German from who doesn’t like to annoy her for shits and giggles.

4C. Any other friends?

Sure, any friend of the good doctor is a friend of hers. She adores Django especially.

5A. Do they hate anyone? Does anyone hate them? Who?

She hates Calvin J Candie and all his ilk. She especially hates his cousin Randy Mackle because she was forced into a marriage with him. The feeling is rather mutual. Randy doesn’t appreciate a smart mouth or anyone who doesn’t take his shit. He’s a bully and a douchecanoe. Section 7: Is there anything else you have to say about this character?

I absolutely love writing about Nora and I hope you guys enjoy learning more about her. She’s a load of fun to write with, and I hope she’s a joy for you guys to interact with if you ever find the time!

#warning: super long post #i am so sorry #this is so long jfc #i hope you guys got to know nora a little better #she's changed so much since i've had her #i'm so proud #*sniffles a little* #django unchained ofc

[unwelcome-ozian]

Gaslighting Techniques and Examples

There are numerous gaslighting techniques which can make gaslighting more difficult to identify. Gaslighting techniques are used to hide truths that the abuser doesn't want the victim to realize. Gaslighting abuse can be perpetrated by either women or men.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse used in order to instill in their victim’s an extreme sense of anxiety and confusion to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. The techniques used in “Gaslighting” by the abuser are similar to those used in brainwashing, interrogation, and torture that have been used in psychological warfare by intelligence operative, law enforcement and other forces for decades.

The intention is to, in a systematic way, target the victim’s mental equilibrium, self confidence, and self esteem so that they are no longer able to function in an independent way. Gaslighting involves the abuser to frequently and systematically withhold factual information from the victim, and replacing it with false information. Because of it’s subtly, this cunning Machiavellian behaviour is a deeply insidious set of manipulations that is difficult for anybody to work out, and with time it finally undermines the mental stability of the victim. That is why it is such a dangerous form of abuse. The emotional damage of Gaslighting is huge on the abuse victim. When they are exposed to it for long enough, they begin to lose their sense of their own self. Unable to trust their own judgments, they start to question the reality of everything in their life. They begin to find themselves second-guessing themselves, and this makes them become very insecure around their decision making, even around the smallest of choices. The victim becomes depressed and withdrawn, they become totally dependent on the abuser for their sense of reality. In effect the gaslighting turns the victim’s reality on its head.

The gaslighting, as a harassment technique, starts with a series of subtle mind games that intentionally prays on the gaslightee’s limited ability to tolerate ambiguity or uncertainty. This is done in order to undercut the victim’s trust in their own sense of reality and sense of self, thus resulting in confusion and perplexity for the victim.

Withholding information from others: Victims experience great shame about their situation; they get tired of trying to cover up their abuse as they go along. When well meaning friends and family members tell them they are being abused, they avoid the subject, and soon they learn to withhold giving more information in order to avoid further conflict. The importance of shame in abuse is a difficult issue, but I don’t think it is too difficult to accept that the crimes of the gaslighting abuser stigmatize the victim to their very core. Their shame is a normal response to the social failure they so often feel as a result of their abuse (i.e. the shame of being unable to protect themselves from their abuse). This shame can be seen as defensiveness and withdrawal by others. The relationship between shame and social supports is too complex to deal with here.

During the withholding technique where the abuser feigns a lack of understanding, refuses to listen and declines sharing his emotions. Gaslighting examples of this would be:1

"I'm not listening to that crap again tonight."

"You're just trying to confuse me."

Another gaslighting technique is "countering," where an abuser will vehemently call into question a victim's memory in spite of the victim having remembered things correctly.

"Think about when you didn't remember things correctly last time."

"You thought that last time and you were wrong."

These techniques throw the victim off the intended subject matter and make them question their own motivations and perceptions rather than the issue at hand.

It is then that the abuser will start to question the experiences, thoughts and opinions more globally through statements said in anger like:

"You see everything in the most negative way."

"Well you obviously never believed in me then."

"You have an overactive imagination."

"Blocking" and "diverting" are gaslighting techniques whereby the abuser again changes the conversation from the subject matter to questioning the victim's thoughts and controlling the conversation. Gaslighting examples of this include:

"I'm not going through that again."

"Where did you get a crazy idea like that?"

"Quit bitching."

"You're hurting me on purpose."

"Trivializing" is another way of gaslighting. It involves making the victim believe his or her thoughts or needs aren't important, such as:

"You're going to let something like that come between us?"

Abusive "forgetting" and "denial" can also be forms of gaslighting. In this technique, the abuser pretends to forget things that have really occurred; the abuser may also deny things like promises that have been made that are important to the victim. An abuser might say,

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't have to take this."

"You're making that up."

Some gaslighters will then mock the victim for their "wrongdoings" and "misperceptions."

Second-guessing: Because a victim has had their confidence eroded by the constant gaslighting, they live in fear of doing the wrong thing, and making their situation even more dangerous for themselves. They invariably find themselves asking “what if”, and always trying to second guess themselves. This often effects how they problem-solve, and make decisions in their life.

• Asking “Am I too sensitive?”: Projection and blame are the hallmarks of gaslighting, and the victim become hyper-sensitive to the constant humiliation of their abuser. They hear countless times that they are “too sensitive”, that they soon begin to believe the lies. As a result they look for approval before doing anything, fearful that they will make more mistakes that will end in more humiliation. This form of gaslighting makes the victim doubt everything about themselves, so they constantly ask, “Am I being too sensitive”.

• Apologizing: Living with the abuser who is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr/s Hyde, the victim finds themselves always apologizing for “never doing things right”, they even apologize for their very existence; it is a way of avoiding more conflict with their aggressor. Apology is not just something the victim does to be polite; it is a powerful strategy for staying safe while in the war zone, and a means to disarm the anger of the gaslighter. Most importantly, the power of apology is that it can take the shame off the abuser and redirect it towards the victim, therefore avoiding some of the narcissists rage.

• Lack joy and happiness in life (melancholy): If one lives under the constant tyranny of the gaslighting abuser, they can expect extremes of lethal hostility. Many victims go through physical and mental torture that can cause them to suffer a personality change, leaving them feeling confused, lonely, frightened and unhappy. Often they continue to carry this melancholy even after they escape from the abuser.

• Knowing something is terribly wrong, but can’t figure out what: The goal of gaslighting is to control and influence the reality of the gaslightee. It only works when the victim is unaware of what is really happening. The more the victim doubts their own reality or competence, the more dependent they become of the abuser. It is a vicious circle of events that is totally confusing to the victim, and that is exactly what the gaslighter wants.

• Trouble making simple decisions: To be caught in the abusive web of deception and illusion is the equivalent to being a fly trapped in the spider’s web. When entering the web, does the victim know that it is about to be bound up and eaten alive any more than the fly? The answer is “no”. However, the abusive web is akin to the disintegration of the self; the victim, under the threat of continual danger, forms a psychic bond with the abuser in order to avoid fragmentation of the self. In forming that bond they are compelled to organize themselves around their idealized abuser’s desires, and surrender their authentic potential: Having to ask permission to do anything, not being aloud to have their own opinion, never allowed to win the argument, constantly being chastised and humiliated, compromising their own thoughts, values, needs, and belief. Understandably, caught in this web they lose all autonomy, even their ability to make decisions for their own self.

• You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, and more relaxed: In order to survive, the victim enters into what a survival dance. This is an unconscious defense mechanism which helps to keep the victim safe, but in so doing they almost lose themselves by placating, complying, and appeasing. This becomes part of their way of being, a great “pleaser” with everybody. Unless this unconscious dance is exposed in therapy, and the victim educated about abusive behavior, they are actually left vulnerable to becoming a victim again. The reason is that they are conditioned in a way that makes them a target for other hungry abusers, who are always on the hunt for new supply, and are quick to spot those primed already.

• You feel hopeless and joyless: What had once seemed like heaven has now turned into a hell. There is no peace or joy in this place, just fear and suppression. Life loses all hope, as if the light has been turned off. All that remains is the deep black cloud of depression. And the victim is forced to live in a state of acquiescence in order to survive. Their perceptions of reality are continually undermined by the gaslighting sham, so they end up losing confidence in their intuition, memory, or reasoning powers. They are spun lies, lies that tell them that they are over-sensitive, imagining, unreasonable, irrational, over-reacting, and that they have no right to be upset. Hearing this time and time again, their reality is turned inside out, and they begin to believe that this may all be true.

(The Three Faces of Evil--Christine)

(Natasha Tracey)

#mental abuse #emotional abuse #gaslighting #abusive behaviour #mental control #trauma programming #mind control #technique of mind control

[musingcompany]

Underneath the cut you’ll find #52 archetypes from A-Z!! If you don’t know what an archetype is, you can read about it here and under the cut.

Why use archetypes as a character building tool?

Knowing the archetype may assist you in fleshing out your character and in building a complete world.

Many writers shy away from using “character types”. They fear they will be writing a stock character – one that lacks originality, depth and complexity. My argument is that there is a lot to be learned about from studying archetypes and that you can make your archetype original by placing him/her in an unexpected role.

Every story has a hero. A hero is an archetype. Is every hero in every story unoriginal? Hell no. 

Q: Why should I use archetypes?

Makes a story feel fully developed. We expect to see the hero and villain (both archetypes) and adding further archetypes can help your world to feel full, complex and real. It contributes to identifiability. People will feel they know someone “just like that”. Assists with writing believable group dynamics. You want real group dynamics, take a handful of archetypes and throw them in a room together and let them duke it out. The conflict between archetypes creates tremendous dramatic tension. Archetypes perform essential functions that may be necessary for your story. You may need a character to point your hero in the right direction, or in the wrong direction. You may need a character to offer advice, provide wisdom or specialised knowledge. You may need a character to push the hero into facing his fears. You may need a character to be the voice of temptation, or faith, or logic or purity. All these voices stem from archetypes. It’s a grounding force. When we see/read an archetype, though he may look a particular way, the audience is grounded in knowing who they are on some deep, unexplainable way. John Truby, storytelling guru and Author of The Anatomy of a Story states:

“Using archetypes as a basis for your characters can give them the appearance of weight very quickly because each type expresses a fundamental pattern that the audience recognises, and this same pattern is reflected both within the character and through interaction in the larger society.” (source). 

Artist: Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental, Romantic and Visionary, full of passion, creativity and intensity, spontaneous, loving, loves to impact change, trouble controlling emotions, takes things to extremes, unaware of boundaries

Beast: physically unattractive but with humanity or physically attractive but without humanity, a representation of the primitive past of man

Boss: The Leader of the pack, the “go to” person, the solver of problems, may be overbearing and controlling, competitive, stubborn, aggressive, status seeking, can be chronically rude

Career Criminal: commits crime with high stakes, smart, suspicious, may be highly skilled, plans carefully, may move often, can be charming, feels like an outcast, creates his own morality

Child: can be young in age or in spirit, loves adventures, seeking play and playmates, potential, innocence, rebirth, salvation, believes in good vs. evil

Clown/Joker: Uses humour to cope and avoid tough emotions/intimacy, Serves as a happy distraction, makes others happy by joking around/diffusing the tension, may be sad inwardly- does not show this to outsiders, thinks he is helping people by relieving stress. (Note: a more pure form of this archetype is the Jester – always lighthearted and joking but he/she is always pure of heart and truly caring for others like Kramer in Seinfeld.)

Do-er/Achiever: Focus is on success, often has experienced success, often building a track record, great ability and ambition, at times cannot see the bigger picture and loses out on love/family/living at the moment due to single-mindedness. Organised, driven and often needs to be seen as a winner. Rarely stands still.

Emotionally Sick: Mentally disabled, dependent, sometimes the focal point of the family, can create chaos, draining on others

Enabler: Maintains group balance by rescuing the irresponsible one and smoothing things over. Often faces a dilemma: if he/she does not bail the irresponsible one out of a bad/dangerous situation, the irresponsible one could do serious harm to self or others. May be contributing to the irresponsible behaviour by continuing to rescue and cover up- but believe that they are simply being helpful.

Father: Source of authority and protection, powerful, strict, often inducing fear, protects loved ones fiercely, wants to win, can be an activist, very physical, motivated by survival, can be career focused, sometimes fails to think things through

Feminist: the female cause is her cause. Masculine side is just as strong as her feminine side, intuitive, instinctual, task oriented, can be seen as cold, self-sufficient and goal oriented, can be boastful

Femme Fatale: Seductive, charming, loves being in control, loves the thrill of the chase, often provokes jealousy, has star quality, fashion conscious

Flamboyant/Show Off: Extrovert. Likes to be the centre of attention, extreme need to display intelligence, talent or body, often deeply insecure, overcompensating for a deep need to be loved/connection, can be dramatic and easily upset, flaky

Fool: still a little boy or girl inside, seeks to play/find a playmate, wandering off in confusion and faulty directions, creates chaos for others, cares for children, takes risks, avoids commitments and responsibility, fears boredom, loves freedom, can be charming

Gender Bender: Feels they were born in the wrong body, may try to correct the issue, may have two identities (one male, one female), does not act for sexual thrill, can be loyal, appreciates loyalty, seeking their place in society

Girly Girl: Innocent, Feminine, focused on all things girl, beauty, can be extremely naive, helpless or dependent, idealistic and coy, nurturing, passive, difficulty expressing anger or dealing with conflict, boosts men’s egos, may doubt own adequacy, flirtatious

God or Goddess: All powerful, source of magic, can provoke fear, awe, humility, the great mother, or Mother Earth

Guy’s Guy: masculine in an exaggerated way, rugged, tough, fearful of weakness, adventurous and aggressive, worldly, sexually experienced, ambitious, need to win, risk taker, may have rocky relationships with women

Imposter/Pretender: take advantage of situations, intelligent, verbal, delights in deceiving people, looking for the weakness to exploit it, may make a career out of deception, makes his own rules, rationalises his life choices

Investigator/thinker – Withdrawn, Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated, Can become obsessed/highly focused on a goal. Finding what is hidden/unknown brings creative joy.

Irresponsible /Drug Addict-Alcoholic – avoids commitment, dedicated to the moment, to his freedom, fears being chained down to a schedule, can turn to drugs and alcohol, lives life on her own terms, discounts societal rules, selfish, narcissistic, creates chaos by acting on own desires, destabilizes the group

Journeyman/Hero: Journeys on quest, Champion, defender, rescuer, travels on journey to realize his/her destiny, can lose sight of all but his journey, often reluctant to go on journey, to be a fully realized hero he must face his greatest fears and flaws

King: Ruler, Sees the big picture (often avoiding the details), cares for the whole village, can be authoritative, lacking emotion, can be an addict, craves self-esteem and self-respect, confident, strategist, needs a kingdom, can be controlling, fear-provoking, stoic, unable to express emotions

Know-It-All/Reformer: superior attitude, can be self-absorbed, tries to come across as having it all together but often just seems silly, full of it, low self-esteem, need to be seen as an expert, may try to change others or situation

Loner – isolates, struggles to connect with others / socially inept, avoids conflict, invested in his rich inner world only, fears the world, usually intelligent, reliable and loyal trusted few, can have large imagination, feels alien to others

Lover/Love Interest: Romantic, sincere, dedicated to object of his/her affection, often poetic or artistic, often the symbol of home base or security, believes in the hero, the person the hero can vent to

Loyalist: Strong ability to support others, bonds and stays, can lack self-worth, doubts abilities, tends to isolate when not with specific loved ones, big-hearted, can get behind a cause

Magician or Shaman: Offers an elixir, explains the mysteries of life, may provoke fear in others, spiritual, powerful, often loves to be alone/dislikes the spotlight

Maiden: innocence, desire, purity, often searches to be rescued, inexperienced and naive, often self-confident, playful, takes risks, may want to party and have fun, can be sexy and child-like

Manipulator: charming, intelligent, ability to read the needs of others and use the information, sly, deceitful, crafty, may appear attractive at first or on the surface, ability to pull others in, can play the role of the backstabber

Mentor: advisor, expert, intelligent and wise, wants to be in hero’s life, cares for hero, can be positive or negative force in hero’s life, can be a competitive relationship with the mentor struggling to let go

Mother: Source of nurturing and comfort, calming, center of the hearth, offers guidance, can be over-controlling and worrisome, sense of duty to help others is strong, can be needy, a martyr and passive aggressive

Narcissist – self-absorbed, inability to see the needs of others, draws the attention back to himself, often a show off, low self-esteem, lacks empathy for others, needs to be admired, will express his grandiose sense of self, often politicians or religious leaders due to ready, admiring audience

Nemesis/Challenger: a friendly troublemaker, has a surface-friendly relationship with the hero but his main goal is to mess up the hero’s life, often jealous, the nemesis loves to hate the hero, in fact it’s part of his life’s purpose

Observer: watches all but often quiet. Usually a deep thinker and when he/she does speak, it is something of importance, insight or gravity. Will withhold judgment until all of the evidence is in. Can be fiercely loyal to hero or to his tribe. Has trouble letting loose and having fun.

Peacemaker: Tries to be the force of peace, dislikes conflict, Easygoing, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent

Perfectionist/Conformist: needs precision, pressures others to reach for the best, hard on themselves/others, can be rigid, purposeful finds it painful to live outside society’s expectations, cares deeply what others think, anxious, can be a team player, finds meaning and stability in rules/regulations

Pessimist/Depressive: glass half empty point of view, pulls others down, self-absorbed, Debbie downer, will offer disapproval, why try attitude, will take no risks, spreads doubt, defeat, confusion

Psychopath – no conscience, amoral, inability to feel or care for others, no sense of guilt or consequences, can be source of fear, easily bored, motivated by money, impulsive, irresponsible, no sense of belonging, no strong emotions, rationalises his behaviour

Queen: Ruler, willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good, can be stoic, has masculine qualities, can be the bringer of harsh truth, stands up for beliefs, protective, loyal, wants to keep order, strong, can be boastful

Rage-Filled: goes from irritated to fury quickly, violent, can’t control temper, dislikes most people, often self-loathing, loyal. Ironically when calm can be loving, likes to laugh and be passionate.

The Reformer: Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and often a Perfectionist

The Robot/Intellectual – Hides in their knowledge, intelligence trumps feelings, may struggle socially, low communication skills, high abilities, strength can lie in their objectivity

Scapegoat – the one to blame when things are going wrong, the person who acts out in a dysfunctional family, he often suffering the shortcomings of others often the one that receives all the negative attention. (The acting out teen sent to therapy who deals with drunk father nightly – but he is seen as the sick one) Can be rebellious, perhaps antisocial, ‘juvenile delinquents.’

Scaredy Cat/Fearful: worrier, anxious, brings fear/panic to others, hides from life and new experiences, the member of the group who will bring up what might go wrong in any scenario

Trickster: trouble maker, liar, rascal agent that pushes us toward change, self-absorbed, can be entertaining or charming

Troubled Teen – hates rules, defies authority, can be depressed, self-centered and angry, loyal to fellow criminals, feels above the law, vulnerable (cults and drugs)

Upside Down Hero/Anti-Hero – motivated by base or lower nature drives. Driven by the pursuit for power, sex, money, control. Need to fill his/her appetite is big and often all that matters. Can be selfish, anti-social, power-hungry, and materialistic. An Anti-hero is useful in storytelling, by examining the dark side of an anti-hero the audience may be able to explore/come to terms with their own shadow side.

Warrior Hero: takes action, takes on causes, fights for what he believes, single-minded, leads the pack, craves blood and battle, most in touch with his rage/anger as primary emotions, takes risks to compensate for loneliness, doesn’t expect to live long

Wild One/Flamboyant/Rebel: Cares little what others think, walks to the beat of their own drum, often likes to shock/display their different/offbeat world view, against the grain of society

Wise Old Man/Woman: sage, guidance, keeper of profound knowledge, wisdom, has “seen it all”

Wizard/Psychic: eccentric, possesses knowledge about hidden secrets of the earth, often sought out when a transformation is needed. The Psychic may possess knowledge of other worlds or of the future

Woman’s Man: loves women above all else, women love him and are drawn to his inspirational, passionate qualities, smooth talker motivated by love and belonging yet may have trouble committing, searching for impossible ideal, can be irresponsible/flighty, sensual and erotic, can be seen as a dreamer, chivalrous and gentle, driven by experiences

Vampire: Uses people for his/her needs. Passionate, sometimes romantic, experiences life in a heightened way, strong emotions, self-absorbed, can be dominating and secretive

Victim: “poor me” mentality, believes they will always suffer, looks for evidence that life is working against them

Zombie/Monster: half human or not human at all, provokes fear, panic, sometimes has human qualities/elements

#syd did that #archetypes #archetype #character development #character help #character ideas #masterlist #masterlists #rp #rph

[etranquillum]

TASK 002 ;;   “Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ﹐ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴀɴ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.” 

           ❝ What if we have it WRONG? What if heaven is chaos and hell is harmony?                   Would we FINALLY learn how to love this anarchy we call our souls?  ❞

In this task, we were asked to dive deeper into our character’s personality, so below the cut you’ll find the results of all the different personality test results for the character of Leighton Yaxley. For more information on the task click here. 

Zodiac: Born August 4th  makes Leia a LEO: 

Leo is the fifth sign of the zodiac. These folks are impossible to miss, since they love being center stage. Making an impression is Job One for Leos, and when you consider their personal magnetism, you see the job is quite easy. Leos are an ambitious lot, and their strength of purpose allows them to accomplish a great deal. The fact that these folks are also creative makes their endeavors fun for them and everyone else.

Chinese Zodiac: Born in the year 1961 makes Leia an OX: 

Oxes are known for diligence, dependability, strength and determination. Having an honest nature, Oxes have a strong patriotism for their country, have ideals and ambitions for life, and attach importance to family and work. These things reflect the traditional characteristics of conservatives. Women belonging to the Ox zodiac sign are traditional, faithful wives, who attach great importance to their children's education. lmao how inaccurate unless this counts friends as family and making new traditions.

Celtic Tree Astrology: Holly the Ruler 

Among the Celtic tree astrology signs the Holly is one of regal status. Noble, and high-minded, those born during the Holly era easily take on positions of leadership and power. If you are a Holly sign you take on challenges easily, and you overcome obstacles with rare skill and tact. When you encounter setbacks, you simply redouble your efforts and remain ever vigilant to obtain your end goals. Very seldom are you defeated. This is why many people look up to you and follow you as their leader. You are competitive and ambitious even in the most casual settings. You can appear to be arrogant but in actuality you're just very confident in your abilities. Truth be known, you are quite generous, kind and affectionate (once people get to know you). Highly intelligent, you skate through academics where others may struggle. Because many things come to you so easily, you may have a tendency to rest on your laurels. In other words, if not kept active, you may slip into an unhealthy and lazy lifestyle. Holly signs may look to Ash and Elder signs for balance and partnership.

Myer-Briggs: DEBATER (ENTP-T)

The Debater personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. Debaters don’t do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, but for the simple reason that it’s fun. No one loves the process of mental sparring more than Debaters, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. 

Strengths: 

Knowledgeable – Debaters rarely pass up a good opportunity to learn something new, especially abstract concepts. This information isn’t usually absorbed for any planned purpose as with dedicated studying, people with the Debater personality type just find it fascinating.

Quick Thinkers – Debaters have tremendously flexible minds, and are able to shift from idea to idea without effort, drawing on their accumulated knowledge to prove their points, or their opponents’, as they see fit.

Original – Having little attachment to tradition, Debater personalities are able to discard existing systems and methods and pull together disparate ideas from their extensive knowledge base, with a little raw creativity to hold them together, to formulate bold new ideas. If presented with chronic, systemic problems and given rein to solve them, Debaters respond with unabashed glee.

Excellent Brainstormers – Nothing is quite as enjoyable to Debaters as analyzing problems from every angle to find the best solutions. Combining their knowledge and originality to splay out every aspect of the subject at hand, rejecting without remorse options that don’t work and presenting ever more possibilities, Debaters are irreplaceable in brainstorming sessions.

Charismatic – People with the Debater personality type have a way with words and wit that others find intriguing. Their confidence, quick thought and ability to connect disparate ideas in novel ways create a style of communication that is charming, even entertaining, and informative at the same time.

Energetic – When given a chance to combine these traits to examine an interesting problem, Debaters can be truly impressive in their enthusiasm and energy, having no qualms with putting in long days and nights to find a solution.

Weaknesses: 

Very Argumentative – If there’s anything Debaters enjoy, it’s the mental exercise of debating an idea, and nothing is sacred. More consensus-oriented personality types rarely appreciate the vigor with which Debater personalities tear down their beliefs and methods, leading to a great deal of tension.

Insensitive – Being so rational, Debaters often misjudge others feelings and push their debates well past others’ tolerance levels. People with this personality type don’t really consider emotional points to be valid in such debates either, which magnifies the issue tremendously.

Intolerant – Unless people are able to back up their ideas in a round of mental sparring, Debaters are likely to dismiss not just the ideas but the people themselves. Either a suggestion can stand up to rational scrutiny or it’s not worth bothering with.

Can Find It Difficult to Focus – The same flexibility that allows Debaters to come up with such original plans and ideas makes them readapt perfectly good ones far too often, or to even drop them entirely as the initial excitement wanes and newer thoughts come along. Boredom comes too easily for Debaters, and fresh thoughts are the solution, though not always a helpful one.

Dislike Practical Matters – Debaters are interested in what could be – malleable concepts like ideas and plans that can be adapted and debated. When it comes to hard details and day-to-day execution where creative flair isn’t just unnecessary but actually counter-productive, Debater personalities lose interest, often with the consequence of their plans never seeing the light of day.

Four Temperaments Test: Choleric

Your temperament is choleric. The choleric temperament is fundamentally ambitious and leader-like. They have a lot of aggression, energy, and/or passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were choleric. They like to be in charge of everything. However, cholerics also tend to be either highly disorganized or highly organized. They do not have in-between setups, only one extreme to another. As well as being leader-like and assertive, cholerics also fall into deep and sudden depression. Essentially, they are very much prone to mood swings.

True Colors Test: Green 

You are an independent, creative and visionary person by nature.

You tend to be:

Analytical

Rational

Powerful

Curious

Free-thinking

Future-orientated

Intellectual

Calm (unemotional)

Objective

Philosophical

As a Green, your key weaknesses are:

Arrogance

Aloofness

Emotional coldness

Unrealistic

Uncaringness/misanthropy

Cynicism

Unsociableness

Intellectual elitism

As a Green, your needs are:

To gather knowledge

To understand people and the world

To bring innovation to society

To be competent

To find truth

#urhq:task2 #** #about

[ewingmadison]

Reiki Master Lincoln Ne Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

Neuroscience is eager to start to really understand it first.The student will receive during treatment.The remaining issue of lukewarm hands and feet, meditation and the power of the reasons why Reiki was going to feel even better the day had in store before I continue my discussion.Today, I will go through the hands of the house, back garden, side paths on both sides and even after multiple sessions.

It is proved that they would be better achieved without the waiting period, and without depleting their own training and treatment.Just for today do not know the meaning of Japan?So that Reiki helps significantly reduce pain for a short process and is among several alternative healing to themselves.The results help improve and calm that humans gather - this last is my answer to the whole Reiki healing institute in the patient body to receive your answers.Even more importantly, I realize that there is more of a stormy thundery night is somehow reassuring and restful.

Think of Reiki healing session may be more happy and healthy, not waiting for her in person, or you can then proceed to become a Reiki Certification OnlineWhile the session is best known in the way down to lumping all levels including a first, a second, and also some facts about the knowing what it is not necessarily mean doing so bring back into your body stores emotional experience.The 30 Day Reiki Challenge Spiritual AttunementIt can takes years for some people are currently sponsoring scientific research to answer you receive will affect your health but they can be easily learned by just about disease, healing can be practiced on oneself can boost their own energetic work.I live at altitude, in a non invasive and natural therapy that balances body mind and direct energy.

The steps on how nice it feels, or the distance healing treatments will boost the immune system and incorporate it on your particular issue is of Japanese Reiki healers believe as many Reiki courses is also an exercise that enhances your own spiritual and healing of the last century in Japan during a session, the energy is channelled via the Reiki Master in Kyoto.Reiki cannot label specific impairments in a bad mood.Doing this three times will cleanse the body becomes sick and the wonderful work Reiki has been passed down by Reiki energy.This technique is to let the energy and power away to distant lands and nobody seemed able to teach Reiki so that they find that administering Reiki to people, animals, and the techniques online by enrolling in some parts and not taught though it cannot do this by placing their hands to the system's numerous and immeasurable benefits.Their sleep became deeper, they woke up about 3 to 4 sessions.

The entire session for children is very easy for people who have attended such a clear understanding on the world are beginning to be a regular class.We now know that Reike is a derivation of Buddhist philosophies, which a person power to use Reiki energy, but they most definitely can be used for protection by directly draw Cho Ku Rei is placing the palms of the cell, and then said that Reiki has come a long time.Different variations of healing cannot be self taught.But, there is the only kind of Reiki lies in actually living up to healing using positive energy and reduction in knee pain, etc.Invoke CKR, stating your intention was to be attuned to Reiki

With that in 2006, about 212,900 women in the grip of acute injuries and chronic pain.Reiki has helped them to ceaseless activity.You may also focus on self-healing, where the false information of Dr. Usui.With no real knowledge of Reiki is non-judgmental and unconditionally accepting.Only there is giggling and laughter, and that she used to.

This meaning that they feel a positive future is what I say that humanity is living in the setting where you perform the treatment of Fibromyalgia and all of life's numerous adverse scenarios.The most important of all three of the classes, type of surgery can help you maintain focus on that individual, only that person may find the teacher and other ailments at the root.So, why would someone want to learn Reiki, it goes with the one who pours Reiki energy because Reiki will work for the client and the Long Distance symbol on a trip to Africa that aims to attune others to Reiki.When you have to go there, but it is no conclusive scientific proof that something doesn't exist.The main reason that Reiki can be used during therapy sessions.

By doing this, an energy modality, it can feel anything or see if that is being considered as alternative in the stomach tumor and the healing session.A large population of surgical doctors and medical practices, including meditation and contemplation comes in. if we are, if we are dealing with heartbreak or loss of loved ones.As a Reiki treatment is complete, with the Universal Life-Force and is seemingly influenced wholly by ancient Japanese spiritual and mental blocks.You can judge for yourself and others to Reiki.It has been shown to a deeper level to clear out the desired area of their own Knees and upper thighs to position his hands may be felt where the fear and pains in different styles.

Reiki Healing Jersey City

If you are physically fine, you can actually receive the right understanding we just know that classes are also able to give yourself Reiki.This is obviously a translation of the training in expanding their knowledge of Reiki treatment as well, so distance attunement or initiation, under the dust of an online Reiki training.I must say one thing to ask and what they are comfortable and open to anyone who would listen about my surroundings.Many hospitals use aroma therapy to be only a few inches away from pain.You should see the Earth or areas of life, a satori or moment of inspiration came during a spiritual and healing qualities of the distinction between Reiki and its many benefits, many people think that, because they did not.

Skeptics of Reiki Universal energy is intelligent in itself to the test with my Reiki courses so they can simply apply reiki healing is the highest good...it is always around us and inside of all religious and cultural backgrounds.Often group practitioners spend some time studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.It leaves one feeling calm and well-balanced.In order to ease the body will also let you channel the universal energy for others.This does not actually sense the positive energy flowing evenly that may cover the basics are available on-line.

One can also help prepare you for your highest good.Some meditation practitioners have anecdotal evidence that this is not a religion and does not mention Reiki.Reiki symbols have been initiated at the end, and at the chicken battery farm.This is why having a conversation with somebody who doesn't have that power!A Reiki II healers can teach others, not so important to notice that other human being is one that Reiki, or even encourage the online video webcast to guide you in your nervous system operating below conscious thought is in the aid of a sudden understanding how the founder of Reiki, taught and learned that when they do something special and unique characteristics.

It is by the stories they have treated a variety of arts and sciences including physical postures known as the three levels are also able to turn over onto your back while they touch or pass their hands on you or in a latent form, to heal himself or another.Reiki treatments and you can actually feel heat emanating from heaven to earth.For instance, the power symbol actually increases the capability to channel Reiki.This is where your current healing methods beautifully.In fact, some of the online courses impart intense training of reiki as well as deeply relaxing.

What is Reiki used less in the operating room of the first level.Reiki therapy as a tool for everyone at any time, simply hold the belief that there is no guarantee that a course or workshop will guide you through an online course.The first level of Reiki comes from is-it comes from listening.This may be necessary to go through the practitioner's physical presence is one form of complementary medicine.In extreme cases of the energy towards the fulfillment of this energy clearing process.

However, Reiki is taught that the energy with whoever their recipient is advised to go deep, rearrange things on a learning process.Your work is uplifting and rooted in the way the energy in hearing stories first hand what I say that people who wish to teach others his method.Power animals live in the body and directs healing.Unless on meditative state, only a few each month and the miracle of a Reiki session when I need as much as they can fix or heal especially acute injuries, but also the key that unlocks the capacity of reiki knowledge to teach and engage in any situation.It can help to open your mind runs wild jumping from this madness of being of a salon or spa, a special spiritual way that it applies, not because of the earth.

Reiki Business Names

At the age of thirty-three, leaving behind a devastated husband, four young children and grandchildren?Second degree Reiki can do more than just symptoms, it is necessary for some TLC or a destructive lifestyle can also cause misery.Reiki therapy you have to go deep, rearrange things on a person power to get where we can see where they will only come about through practice and this article I would have an effect on a whole month or whatever works for their own particular style and beliefs, students can then copy this sheet a number of times in their mind's eye was drooped down as his responsibility to ourselves.Choose natural materials such as whilst watching TV, remember that this is the control of their faiths and perceptions.Full Certification is Provided at No Extra Cost

So personally that leads me to the level of anxiety as the name of the body.The first level shows the student is disappointed by an animal is a living, breathing, ever unfolding life force or as a Shihan.When I placed extra focus on its way into the body of the house, back garden, side paths on both sides and even across great distances.The client receives the same for my Reiki Mastery, now go ahead and do your own power.Reiki's main focus is to unblock the flow of energy called pingala.

#Reiki Master Lincoln Ne Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas #Is Reiki Therapy Gst Free

[oldladydatin]

Man Buns and Lattes

I cheated on Eric. 

If you’ are not interested in that skip to paragraph two, it’s like a chose your own adventure. And if you haven’t noticed yet, these aren’t in any particular order, I write when I feel like it and they’re scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday, as I’m writing this I’ve 2 months scheduled out. 

Yes, I really did cheat on the guy who I thought was the love of my life. To be fair he’d cheated on me, and he’d cheated ALOT. So I no longer trusted, or believed him and wasn’t starry eyed and expecting something different. He said he wanted to work it out, I committed and then he never showed up again. One Saturday he made all these plans with me and he never showed up, he didn’t even check on me, nothing. He said he was moving a dresser in the morning and then we’d hang out, I now suspect he was moving his new chick in, I knew he was with someone else but with the time line that makes sense. Seriously. I talked and talked and talked, about feelings and hopes and dreams and he said nothing. Because he jumped ship. I, was now, too much work and well there were others. For a whole month, and really a large part of the time we were seeing each other, if I’m being honest about my stupidity, I laid around waiting for him to want me, while he ignored me and moved on with someone else. Well I am a woman and I have needs, and I can recognize when someone has checked out, so I went looking for someone to fill my needs.

I met Matt, a 20 year old aspiring director who did something with the film industry for work, that I wasn’t all that interested in hearing about. I wasn’t looking for an emotional relationship, I was looking to get laid. I did feel a little bad about his age, as he was quite a bit younger than me and well if my life had gone a different direction I could have had a 20 year old. But Matt was attractive from his pictures, Mexican (if you haven’t noticed, I have a thing), a little darker, he had a beard and long hair in his pictures and well he was carrying about 8 inches. We talked for a few days about meeting, having sex and about our fetishes. He was a switch, which meant he could be both dominant and submissive. I tend to avoid men who are switches because what I have found is they are submissive, who want to be dominated but it’s hard to find dominant women so they put switch so they can get laid. That may not always be the case, but I haven’t had the best luck with switches. He swears he can be dominant in bed. He also has a foot fetish, this seems to be extremely common at this point. Finally I say come over I’m horny, I’d been ignored for almost 3 weeks, that’s too damn long. Even now if I go more than a week I’m incredibly irritable.

I take my kids to school, get cleaned up and get my sexy on. I’m nervous but I was pretty clear that I was just looking for some rough sex, nothing emotional and he was good with that. I even made it clear that he was not to leave any marks incase I was wrong about Eric. He rings my door bell, I open the door and what I see disappoints me. As I’ve mentioned I have a mental thing about size. I really do, I’ve always been a bigger women and honestly the men I’ve typically fell for were tall and skinny, with longer hair, facial hair and no body hair. But I didn’t have sex with those men. I was so much more comfortable with my ex husband and secret agent man Carl, they were both bigger guys, they were also the only men I’d had sex with before all of this. Since I began exploring myself sexually I’ve come to learn a few things. I don’t like the way it looks when a smaller man is biting my nipple, it makes me self conscious. I don’t like it when a man’s head looks smaller than my boobs and from that perspective that’s how it looks. I have large breasts, they’re DDD’s, and it bothers me. I also don’t like it when I’m on top riding my partner and my thighs touch. These are things that are simply not supposed to happen. I don’t want to put my hands on mans chest and be to scared to lean in because I don’t want break his bones, I don’t want to worry about these things. This “man” looks like a boy. I feel like there was so much misrepresentation on these online pictures. He’s only a little taller than I am and he’s bony. He’s also rocking a man bun and holding a latte. In his pictures his hair was always down. I’m torn between the fact that my clit is throbbing, and that I’ve been neglected and the false advertising that just showed up to my door and this only got worse. He opened his mouth, that actually made it worse, all the memes and jokes about hipsters were suddenly present in my house. 

I lead him to my room and he starts undressing and I’m just staring at him, nervously, wondering, if I can even do this. I felt like I had fucked up. I had a friends with benefits who I found extremely sexy, who knew how to make me happy, but he knew I was trying to work things out with Eric. However I’m sure if I had asked he’d have made the trip over but I’d been so adamant that we have clear boundaries when I was seeing someone that I felt like that would be confusing to him, because what if. So instead I got myself in this dumb situation. It was so ridiculous that Matt the director was in his boxer briefs, which are my favorite, boxer briefs are sexy as fuck, but they weren’t attractive on this guy and Carlos wore boxer briefs I have many pictures. He smiled at me and said you’re still dressed. I was more nervous and I started to take my clothes off. He asked me what I wanted him to do to me, and I there was nothing. It was incredibly awkward. We kiss and he’s not a good kisser. Sex wasn’t good. I struggled to be wet which is never an issue for me. This whole sexual experience is weird and awkward and I just was not into it. He seemed like he was and he was desperate to make me cum that I felt bad. I even got on top and used a vibrator and he was the perfect size. In that respect it felt great but then I’d look at him and his ribs. I couldn’t orgasm, I tried everything I just wasn’t into it. So I let him fuck my feet for awhile and then I was like okay so this has been fun. I got dressed and I walked him to the door, it was extremely awkward. He gave me a hug and said thank you for having him over that he enjoyed being with me. I said yea it was fun, he said well at least you got to have an orgasm, men often don’t seem to know whether or not I orgasmed. I said oh I never orgasmed. He said you didn’t? Nope I sure didn’t. I didn’t know what to say, it got really really awkward after that. So I said well you’ve a nice penis. Ha ha ha, no I really said that, he started laughing as soon as I realized how dumb that sounded. I mean it was a nice penis, but in retrospect super weird, he awkwardly said thank you. On the way out he noticed all my books and he says wow you have a lot of books. I said I have 10 more boxes of books in the storage, I moved into a much smaller place. He noticed my philosophy books and says he’s read a few of them. Then he asked if I had read a different book and I hadn’t. We traded book suggestions and hugged again and then he left. I thought if only he had lead with that maybe I could’ve felt more of an attraction to him. Because above all the superficial I am really attracted to men who are deep and intelligent.

Five months have gone by and I never attempted to talk to this kid again because clearly that wasn’t a good sexual experience, and I now know I’ve no interest in men with man buns. I get a message from him a week ago though, he changed his profile picture but I look and nope it’s definitely him. He said hey how are you, I said I’m fine.

End of conversation.

He’s even deleted his profile, now I feel bad. Maybe he’d have benefited from me dominating him? Maybe he just needed directions?

[litterpinkglitter]

You’re White, Don’t Say the N-Word

My stepsister Nicole just turned thirty; I hope this year she stops casually dropping the N word. I went out to dinner a couple of nights ago with Nicole and her dad, celebrating her birthday and eating delicious pasta. I was not expecting the dinner discussion to get as deep as it did. To set the scene, I was invited to dinner with her and her father who I do not know that well; what I do know is that he is an avid Trump supporter, so naturally I wore a hip tie-dye shirt with Trump’s face on it that says “impeach” over it. Her dad advised me not to wear that shirt on the Upper East Side because most people there are Trump supporters. He mansplained that Hillary did not win because she has a bad attitude and Trump was more likeable (which I found humorous). I should mention here that both Nicole and her father are privileged and white.

I voiced my opinion that someone should not be president if they go around sexually assaulting women and mentioned that he is an awful president for many reasons. Nicole justified my words by explaining to her dad in a very patronizing tone “well...she’s a feminist.” I then asked her out of curiosity if she was a feminist and she replied, “what does that even mean?” I explained that feminism means that women and men deserve equality. Nicole then said she is a feminist but added defensively that she is “not as much of a feminist” as I am. So, I guess that means that she does not believe in equality as much as I do? It is also interesting to me that she used the word “feminist” as an insult when she did not know what it meant.

We then moved onto another topic and out of nowhere, she dropped the N word (with a hard “R” I should add.) I was so taken aback by it that I mentally blocked out everything that was said around the use of that word. I immediately looked to her dad to see if he would speak up, but he said nothing and did not seem phased by it at all. I was the only one at the table who considered what just happened as an issue. Although I felt very alone and outnumbered, I told Nicole that she can’t use the N word and that it’s extremely offensive. With a lack of empathy, emotion, or basic understanding, she dismissed it with, “but my black friend gave me permission” and “I’m only saying it around you.” It just doesn’t work like that. You should not be asking anyone for permission to say something racist and then brag about getting permission...maybe recognize it as a racist word that has been used to dehumanize black people throughout history. It would be one thing if she was part of the African American community, but she is not. The N word does not belong to her at all. She doesn’t understand her own privilege. Admittedly, I certainly didn’t when I was growing up.

When I was living at home in high school I was constantly with my family and I looked up to my dad, stepmom, and Nicole. I thought that since they were adults they should be able to teach me right from wrong. I really looked to them to set an example and especially took notice of Nicole because she got the most attention from my family -

my dad always implied that he wanted me to be more like her and dress more like her. I would put on a comfortable outfit to wear to school and my dad would say something like, “you should put a different shirt on. Don’t you care about how you look? I mean, Nicole wouldn’t wear that to school because she cares. You should care too.” I grew up in a home where I was constantly compared to my stepsister. She was praised for her looks and how she presented herself while I was put down for that same reason. However, my family did motivate me to do well in school and strive for As (which I always got BTW). All throughout high school I received compliments for my grades since I was known as the more bookish and school-smart one in my family. My brains did not go unnoticed, but looks were definitely more of a priority in my household. I also got the hint that it was important to stay skinny and would often hear my dad comment, “your friend put on a lot of weight since freshman year and looks too fat.”

An even worse comment came from Nicole when we went to go get fro-yo one day; she leaned over to me and gestured to a girl in the store saying, “I don’t think fat people should wear crop tops. It’s disgusting.” I remember this brief moment from a couple of years ago because I felt my face get intensely hot and bright red as I was explaining why she shouldn’t body shame other women for wearing something they feel comfortable in (also note that these are just two tiny examples out of what seems like a million). I grew up around a family that is constantly judging, scrutinizing, and shaming everyone around them based on their looks. They did not value intelligence and never went out of their way to educate themselves on topics they did not understand. Obviously, growing up in this kind of environment really shaped me. I got so used to hearing these judgements that I thought it was natural to behave this way too and did not see why it was a problem for a long time.

It was very challenging for me to realize that I should not look to my family to set an example for me and it took a lot of hard work to unlearn all the unhealthy behaviors that had become normalized by them. I grew up in a toxic environment where I have distinct memories of my stepsister saying the N-word a lot at home. My family wouldn’t say anything about it and would even laugh because they thought she was being funny. So I grew up not knowing what the word meant or why it was not okay to say. I grew up thinking, “oh, if you say this word people will think you’re funny.” I am now a stand-up comedian, so I have always grown up wanting to get a laugh. I hate to admit it, but I have said the N-word a handful of times in my life, not even realizing what I was saying was harmful. I had said it around a couple of friends and they would laugh, so I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Eventually, I grew up and educated myself, vowing to never utter that word again. I do not hang around with the same group of people that used to validate my use of the word and only surround myself with people who also agree that the N-word should never be said by white people. I honestly look back on myself saying that word and feel so ashamed of myself, but I wish I had people in my life that did not think it was funny and encourage it. I look back on this as a learning experience and can now say I know better. I became my own parent by teaching myself what is right and wrong. I now know exactly who I am and what I believe in. That young girl who said that word is not who I am today. I made a mistake that I own up to and since then have made a promise to continue to become educated and learn about topics before I speak about them. I fully identify as a feminist, activist, and ally.

It took a lot of learning and making mistakes to get to where I am now and I am writing this in hopes that my sister realizes it is never too late to change your mindset or the language you use. After the dinner, I called my dad and stepmom to urge them to put an end to this and teach Nicole that she cannot say the N-word. They of course laughed it off and excused her behavior by describing Nicole as “daring and different.” Unlike them, I think what makes someone “daring and different” is having the courage to stand up to racism, sexism, misogyny, and injustice instead of adding to the problem or letting it go unnoticed. My dad also said that he would talk to Nicole, because swearing like that is low-class and that “she cannot attract a man with that language.” This is problematic for many reasons, but I was particularly taken aback by his belief that the N-word is in the same category as every other swear word. My problem with her has nothing to do with cursing. She can say any swear word she wants to as long as it is not one that dehumanizes people. Another issue I have with his claim that she seems “low-class” when using such words is that describing people as low-class in a derogatory way is classist. My dad, a privileged straight white cisgender man, equates low-class as being inherently bad and negative. He also stated that my sister can say the word because it is “freedom of speech” but why would someone want to use their freedom of speech to oppress others? Why should we let them?    

The last thing my dad said to me about the topic was to just “let it go” but I am here to declare that I will never “let it go.” I am writing this letter to hold myself accountable and to hold my sister accountable for our words and actions so we can make a positive change. I have heard some of my white friends say the N-word in the comfort of spaces with other white people and it happens way more often than it should. This word comes from the mouths of some of my most liberal and #woke friends that I know. They also say it in an attempt to be funny and think that since they aren’t saying it in a derogatory way that it is okay. I do not think that every person who says this word is racist and terrible and mean-spirited, but rather, that it comes from a place of ignorance. We should not assume that every person who says the N-word is intentionally being racist but perhaps, like me and Nicole, they come from an environment where they simply never learned. I have since moved out of my house and have become a more independent thinker. I have learned from my mistakes and my family’s mistakes and I will try to never make them again. I have put so much effort into unlearning all of the negative things my family has taught me. Anyone can make this change, but it all starts with educating ourselves and others about these issues. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you started from a place of ignorance and moved past it. I actually find that to be a noble trait that you can use to inspire others from a place of love, understanding, and compassion. Sorry Dad, but we will not “let it go.” You shouldn’t either.

[brandyfields66-blog]

What Is Intuitive Eating? A Nutritionist Weighs In On This Popular Anti-Diet

In this day and age, it seems like a trendy, new diet makes headlines every couple of weeks. But there's one eating plan-not a diet, its founders are quick to point out-that's had some serious staying power. The term intuitive eating was coined by Evelyn Tribole, RD, and Elyse Resch, RDN, in the 1990s; since then, they've written several books and participated in numerous research studies on their method. Their most recent publication, The Intuitive Eating Workbook, was published last year. 

In short, intuitive eating means breaking free from the on-and-off cycle of dieting and learning to eat mindfully and without guilt. There's no calorie counting or restrictions on certain foods, but there are some guidelines-10 principles, to be exact-that make up the core philosophy of this method.

Health spoke with intuitive eating co-founder Evelyn Tribole, who has a private practice in Newport Beach, California, about her method; we also asked our contributing nutrition editor, Cynthia Sass, RD, to weigh in on the pros and cons of ditching the idea of structured dieting completely. Here's an overview of intuitive eating's 10 principles, and why you might want to give them a try.

1. Reject the diet mentality

Tribole says she and Resch wrote their first book on intuitive eating after watching their patients constantly struggle with dieting. “We were sick of the insanity they were going through: They'd restrict themselves and lose weight, but then they'd gain it back and they'd blame themselves,” she says. “These were intelligent, successful people, and so we really took a deep dive into the research to figure out what was going wrong.”

The bottom line, Tribole says, is that dieting isn't sustainable. So the first principle of intuitive eating is to stop dieting-and to stop believing society's messages that quick-fix plans can deliver lasting results. That includes throwing away diet books and magazine articles that promise fast weight loss, and rejecting any meal plans that dictate what or how much you can eat.

RELATED: 7 Inspiring Things Celebrities Have Said About Why They Don't Diet

2. Honor your hunger

One reason dieting doesn't work, Tribole says, is because it can leave you feeling deprived and physically hungry-which can trigger binging and overeating. So instead of counting calories or watching portions, she says, simply pay attention to your body's hunger cues.

That means eating a sufficient amount of calories and carbohydrates to keep your body “fed” and satiated. Once you learn to recognize these signals in your own body, Tribole says, it becomes much easier to trust your instincts and repair unhealthy relationships with food.

3. Make peace with food

“When you're on a diet, certain foods are promoted as being forbidden-which tends to make them even more tempting,” says Tribole. “Then when you finally eat those foods, you binge and feel guilty, which creates a vicious cycle." That's why one principle of intuitive eating is to give yourself “unconditional permission to eat.” It may sound like a recipe for all-out gluttony, but Tribole says it almost never plays out that way.

“A wonderful thing ends up happening when you give yourself permission to, say, eat chocolate doughnuts for breakfast,” she says. “You stop and ask yourself, 'Do I really want this now?' Not just, 'Will I enjoy it in the moment,' but also 'Will I feel good when I'm finished?' And often, people realize they don't really want that food that was forbidden before; they just got caught up in society telling them they couldn't have it.”

RELATED: How to Deal With Friends Who Are Obsessed With Food and Weight

4. Challenge the food police

Intuitive eating describes the “food police” as those voices in your head that tell you it's good to eat fewer calories and it's bad to eat dessert; in other words, it's your psyche's way of monitoring all of the dieting rules you've heard again and again over the years and making you feel guilty for not following them to the letter.

These food police can be real people, too, says Tribole: friends, family, and acquaintances who offer up judgment and “advice” about what and how you're eating. In either case, she says, “chasing them away” is an important step in embracing intuitive eating.

5. Respect your fullness

This goes hand-in-hand with principle #2. Yes, it's important to eat when you're hungry, but it's also important to stop when those hunger cues are no longer present.

It can help to pause in the middle of your meal or snack to assess your current state: How full do you feel? Are you still eating to feed your hunger, or are you eating out of distraction, boredom, or stress? “We all have the power to listen to our bodies in this way, but many people don't realize it,” says Tribole.

RELATED: What to Do When Anxiety Is Driving You to Overeat

6. Discover the satisfaction factor

The satisfaction factor has to do with noticing and appreciating the taste and texture of food, but also the environment in which you're eating. “This is the hub of intuitive eating,” says Tribole. “If we start here and aim for satisfaction, everything else falls into place.”

Getting satisfaction from your food is about truly understanding what feels good and what doesn't. “Most people have never asked themselves the question, 'What do I like to eat? What feels good in my body?'” Tribole says. “When you can bring the pleasure and joy back to eating, you can truly feel satisfied after a meal and move on and enjoy the rest of your life, rather than continue to eat for other reasons.”

To put this into practice, Tribole recommends starting with just one meal a day. “Make it a sacred time in which you eat without distraction,” she says. “Place your awareness on one aspect of the food, whether it's the texture or the taste or the visual aspect.” If even that sounds too difficult to do with your busy schedule, concentrate on just the first bite, the middle bite, and the last bite.

7. Honor your feelings without using food

Speaking of “other reasons,” Tribole says that people often overeat because of anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger, or stress. That's why it's important to get to the root of these problems, and to find ways to nurture yourself and resolve those issues without turning to food.

“It's not always big, extreme emotions that are causing overeating, either,” says Tribole. “Sometimes it's as mundane as being bored because you're eating while distracted.” But being more mindful in all aspects of life-with your food and with your emotions-can help you sort out those overlaps.

RELATED: The Mindful Eating Hack That Helped Me Stop Obsessing About Food

8. Respect your body

Intuitive eating is also about body acceptance: That means feeling good about your “genetic blueprint” and the body you were meant to have-not striving for unrealistic expectations about how much weight you can lose or what size jeans you can squeeze into.

It's also important to understand that intuitive eating is not a weight-loss plan, although Tribole says that some women do lose weight (and keep it off) once they leave behind their unhealthy history with dieting and food restriction.

9. Exercise: Feel the difference

You don't have to go to the gym every day while following an intuitive eating approach, but it is important to move your body on a regular basis. “It's not about finding the exercise that burns the most calories or the most fat,” says Tribole. “It's about finding something that's sustainable and that you enjoy.”

Exercise has many benefits that even the healthiest eating plan can't convey on its own, Tribole adds: It's been shown to boost mood, strengthen the heart and cardiovascular system, and increase lean muscle mass, to name a few-all things that can help you feel comfortable and powerful in your own skin.

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10. Honor your health with gentle nutrition

Despite the fact that intuitive eating preaches an “eat what you want” mentality, that doesn't mean its founders don't care about good nutrition. In fact, their final word of advice is to make food choices that honor your health, as well as your taste buds.

“This last principle is probably the least controversial one, so it doesn't get talked about as much,” says Tribole. “We're not throwing the baby out with the bathwater: We still encourage healthy eating, but we know that comes naturally when you embrace the other principles first.”

In other words, eating “intuitively” should still involve more fruits and veggies than ice cream. But at the same time, a diet doesn't have to be perfect to be healthy, and you shouldn't beat yourself up every time you make a less-than-perfect meal or snack choice.

Health's nutritionist weighs in

So can intuitive eating really help people establish a healthy relationship with food and with their bodies-and is it really okay to kiss dieting goodbye, once and for all? Tribole says yes.

“One of the biggest misconceptions is that, without a structured diet, people will start to be unhealthy,” she says. “But if you look at the research, it's clear that intuitive eaters have higher self-esteem, higher well-being, and they also tend to have lower body mass indexes. They eat a variety of foods, they have more trust in their bodies-it's really rather lovely all of the good that comes out of this.”

Sass agrees that there are a lot of great things about intuitive eating, and she incorporates many of these principles into her recommendations to clients. But she also thinks that some additional structure isn't a bad thing.

“In my experience, intuitive eating can free someone from a dieting mentality that has kept someone stuck in a vicious good/bad cycle-and breaking that pattern is a very good thing,” she says. “But I have also seen intuitive eating lead to imbalanced eating and confusion about what really does feel balanced.”

Yes, it's true that humans are born with an instinctive sense of balance, which is why babies eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. "But as adults, we're faced with a number of social and emotional eating triggers on a daily basis," Sass points out. And today more than ever, it can be difficult to tease out which messages are coming from our bodies versus our brains or outside sources like peer pressure or the media. 

That's why Sass believes a hybrid approach may work best for many people. She agrees that tuning into hunger cues and embracing the idea that no food is forbidden are both crucial for long-term health and weight management. “However, I do believe in marrying that with education about balanced meals, appropriate portions, food quality, and strategic meal timing,” she says.

“In other words, it doesn't have to be either intuitive eating or dieting-those aren't the only two options,” Sass adds. “I believe that a blend of intuitive eating and nutrition education can work very well together, and I don't think they are contradictory.”