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#i love fleabag so much šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
ember-not-amber Ā· 9 months
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I just watched the Miraculous movie and there is so much to unpack omg it all happened so fast!
ā€¢ The animation: SO GOODšŸ¤Æ
ā€¢ I was not expecting there to be singing whatšŸ˜­
ā€¢ Marinette & Adrienā€™s singing voices are not the same as their speaking voices, wtf why did they do that?? It sounds so weird hearing someone elseā€™s singing voice come out of Marinetteā€™s mouth and Adrienā€™s singing voice sounds like Plagg.
ā€¢ I was honestly expecting the movie to just show Ladybug & Cat Noir defeat their first villain and then it ends foreshadowing their future successes in defeating villains but I was surprised to see that it did a montage of them defeating villains and basically speed running the entire show to get to where itā€™s supposed to end. I kinda like it!
ā€¢ Chloeā€™s lines were so cringe. ā€œHey, Marinette why donā€™t we braid each otherā€™s hair after school? Then I could strangle you with it! How does that sound?ā€ // ā€œI just want to have a nice screaming exchange like two civilized teenagers!ā€ // ā€œI think you two should go together cause Adrien is coming with me, not with some baker girlā€ // ā€œMarinette, I hope you have a lovely evening because next year, bullyingā€™s back on!ā€šŸ¤¢ Itā€™s veryā€¦Wattpad-esque. Also, her calling Marinette ā€œMarinellaā€ wasnā€™t clever at all. Was that supposed to be a play-off of Cinderella?? Because thatā€™s not a very good idea for a nickname to use to bully someone tbhšŸ˜­
When I hear the name Marinette I think of the words marionette and marinara, either of those would have been better than Marinella. It is so clear that whoever wrote Chloeā€™s lines is not part of Gen ZšŸ’€
ā€¢ I LOVED it when Marinette stood up to Chloe and called her hair a ratā€™s nestšŸ¤£ what a queen, I love that she got more confident after becoming Ladybug
ā€¢ The way Nino acted so nervous around Alya was sooo cutešŸ„ŗ
ā€¢ The destruction that the villains caused in the city was SO much more terrifying than it was in the show and the Eiffel Tower looked a lot bigger than it does in the show, too!
ā€¢ THE LADYNOIR FIGHT-FLIRTING>>>> AAAHHHHHšŸ’“šŸ’—šŸ’ž AND WHEN HE PINNED HER AGAINST THE WALLLLšŸ˜«šŸ˜«
ā€¢ The stubble on Gabriel was a jumpscarešŸ˜Ø
ā€¢ I loved seeing Adrien finally stand up to his dad and then seeing his dad just completely stop the destruction of Paris after finding out Adrien is Cat Noir
ā€¢ It was so cool to see Adrienā€™s cat eye with half of his mask off! Weā€™ve never seen that before!
ā€¢ I was laughing at Careless Whisper being in this movie twice. Why was that song in it?šŸ˜­
ā€¢ The charactersā€™ eyes are much smaller than they were in the show
ā€¢ WHY WAS GABRIELā€™S HAIR EVER THAT LONG HE WAS SO UGLY ONG
It completely contradicts that one episode in the show where we see him and Emilie in the past and his hair is still the same length as it is in the present but itā€™s brown. Unfortunately this movie is canon so I guess itā€™s canon that Gabriel had a long bobšŸ’€
ā€¢ āœØWatermelonšŸ‰šŸžāœØ and āœØFleabagšŸŖ°šŸˆā€ā¬›āœØ
ā€¢ Why was Hawkmoth 100x more powerful in the movie than in the show?? He demonstrated Darth Vader-like powers when he lifted Ladybug in the air and took her miraculous without even touching her. Was it really necessary to make him all powerful? And his powers were like that before he took the ladybug miraculous and merged it with his own.
Side note: he didnā€™t even have to say ā€œNuru, Tikki, UNIFY!ā€ when he did that?!?
ā€¢ I love that we got to see what Adrienā€™s life is like when the characters are introduced and the miraculouses found them. It really differs from how little we saw of what his life is like in the first episode of S1
ā€¢ It was kind of hard to take this movie seriously with all of the singing and Careless Whisper but Iā€™m gonna watch it a second time to really let everything sink in cause there was SO MUCH that went on I got whiplash
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smoothshine Ā· 1 year
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Tag game: eight shows to get to know me
I was tagged by @scienceoftheidiot and @goneadrift (thank you!! šŸ„ŗšŸ’•), and now the deal is that I get to rant about a couple of shows I like, so let's get straight to it!
1. House M.D.
- Knowing how many seasons are there in this show, I think it says something that I purposefully rewatched the full thing several times, and I probably will do it again at some point. Many characters from this series have a special place in my heart, and oh boy do I love myself a good medical drama sometimes. + the different medical cases are just very interesting for me to observe, even though I am by no means a medical specialist, let's say I know a thing or two from this field x)) (and some of you are probably aware of that, ahah)
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2. Lethal Weapon
- This one is another one of these shows that I occasionally come back to for a rewatch, the chemistry between two main characters is amazing, and the main plotline is pretty good imo, + it's a classic detective-involving series, where, granted, not every case is super intriguing or complicated, but I think the characters and their development and relationships with each other - all this usually goes first when determining a series that I'll most probably like, and it delivers that part for sure! (Yes I used this specific gif because now I can't stop picturing this, but with Royais + Hughes, lolol, sorry I have a brainrot)
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Also, look at this silly little totally not dysfunctional guy, come on, you can't help but love him:
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3. Lucifer
- Ohohoho this one was one of the first quite long-term obsessions for me - I was watching it with my good friend as it was coming out (pretty sure starting from like, season 2 we began to watch it as it was airing, or at least I was and then I dragged this friend along for the ride, ahah), and I remember having so much fun with it - making theories, trying to predict the direction for the next season, simping over the main cast, being (more often unironically than not) frustrated with love triangles, all the good stuff. I also really like the soundtrack used in the series, and, of course, I have to mention the fact that its main leads are a blonde badass detective who is actually a sweetheart and her goofy dark-haired bastard-certified material partner who can actually be very scary and powerful to anyone but her :333
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Go figure if I have a type or not, right (omg I just realized she also has a cute pet name and it's "detective")
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4. Fleabag
- This one was such a pleasant surprise for me, the further I was watching the more invested into it I was getting, and in the end it turned out to be such an emotional rollercoaster, while also being able to handle a balance between more serious scenes and great humor really well. The romance plotline turned out to be very interesting too - overall, it's a great pretty short series that I can definitely recommend for people to check out at some point (I was indeed very happy when I found out @goneadrift was watching it too, hehe)
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5. Sherlock (the BBC one)
- Honestly, this one is associated with many good memories for me - we used to watch it for a couple of years in a row with my parents during New Year, and it was like, one of the highlights of our celebration. Life just seemed so much easier these days, and I always remember them with warmth and joy. But! Apart from the sappy stuff - I genuinely think it's a nice modern AU Sherlock adaptation, hehe, as always, I pay a lot of attention to the chemistry between the characters, especially the main cast, and I think pretty much everyone nailed it - I find the characters from this series to be very enjoyable to watch. The other point that I want to mention here is the directing - I remember myself being very impressed by some of the shots and directing/editing choices they made there, and, of course, the main soundtrack is now pretty much engraved into my memory, hehe
(So yeah, aside from the last season, which I don't think is that bad, but definitely not as good as the earlier ones imo, it's a great show!)
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6. Elementary
- Surprise surprise, another Sherlock adaptation involving detective storyline(s), who would've thought, right? Honestly, I don't remember a lot about it, since I haven't rewatched it in a looong time, ahah, but, believe it or not, I still love it and have a couple of good memories associated with it. Used to watch it during weekends back in the day when I still watched TV, lolol, but yeah, I think it's a pretty unique Sherlock adaptation, and you can definitely have fun watching it!
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7. Forever
- That one is unexpected, definitely not my usual series of choice, but surprisingly I finished it pretty quickly and was glad I decided to give it a shot x)
(For the record - it's a series about a guy who works in the morgue while trying to find how to get rid of his immortality curse šŸ‘€šŸ‘Œ).
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8. Fullmetal Alchemist
- Gonna follow the lead of @scienceoftheidiot and add this one on the list too, because my god this series has me in a chokehold. Specifically Royai stuff of course, but I think in general this is the kind of anime (both FMA and FMAB btw) people who are generally not that much into anime can enjoy (I am saying as I am, apparently, one of these people, ahah). It's just a great story with a great cast and lovely imagery and soundtrack, I mean, what else can you possibly need? (Meanwhile here I am, going absolutely insane every time I think about my two beloved war criminals kissing)
O, here they are, by the way!
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Aand that's all for today, no-pressure tags for @lassusog @chrysopoeias @nightofnyx8 @fullmetalscullyy @jedidragonwarriorqueen and anyone who wants to participate (also because it doesn't allow me to tag more people for some reason??), in case you feel like it! :3
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papakhan Ā· 1 month
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31, 37, and 15 for Sun, 42 for Fleabag and 24 for Dusty
pretty please šŸ„ŗ
thank youuuuuuuuu <3 these were fun
šŸ”„ Fallout OC Asks! šŸ”„
Sun
31. What is their goal in life? What impact would they like to leave when theyā€™re gone?
Survive the situation <3 Sun knows that he's meant to be Papa's heir and his goal should be to lead the Khans to triumph but as far as he's concerned his dad has a handle on that and he is going to stay in the background thank you very much. He just wants to get through the day with as few deaths and threats of war as humanly possible in Westside and without anybody asking him if he knows where Papa Khan's son is. Actually no that last bit is fine because he'll just point them in a random direction but yknow what I mean
37. What is the worst injury they have experienced?
Most certainly getting his finger shot off by a sniper. Getting shot hurt, running home with exposed bone hurt, the Khans trying to perform first aid on him hurt, and the Followers performing surgery on it later hurt, the healing process hurt, moving his other fingers hurt, and even the finger that wasn't there anymore hurt. It bothered him for a long time after it happened and even 10 years later he gets phantom pains, especially at night. It's also the worst injury for him emotionally because he was 20 years old and his overconfident "nothing can hurt me" attitude was shattered in an instant and it all changed the trajectory of his life. Plus he feels responsible for the most disastrous war the Khans ever got into against Mr House because he thinks Papa wouldn't have started it if his son hadn't been shot. He's fine tho <3
15. What is their proudest moment / accomplishment?
Honestly his work in Westside he is quietly pretty proud of. In my canon Sun established the trade deals between the Khans and the Fiends and Westside. While he likes some of the Fiends he definitely doesn't like dealing with their leadership and sometimes thinks maybe the deal he got with them was a bad idea. However with Westside he's very happy to be part of their community, he feels like he's actually making a difference and feels valued. Not that he isn't in the Khans but its just different coming from people who are strangers.
Fleabag
42. What is their favorite wasteland creature?
This is a tough one because Fleabag obviously loves dogs like dogs are their life and their everything but also.............. Fleabag has always wanted to one day train a Nightstalker (and has been very unsuccessful so far)
Dusty Colter
24. Do they have a romantic partner or partners?
Dusty's ex is Red Jaxson and I've kinda passed him around a lil with regards to who I want to pair him up with. I did pair him with Jessup for a while but now I've made Red and Jessup related to each other (Red is Jessup's great great grandfather) it kinda feels weird to me now. I think Dusty and Sun could have some funny chemistry (both charismatic, Dusty can't die and Sun hates death, Dusty also hunted Sun for a little while) but at current time he's probably having some flings but not actually committed to one specific person <3
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aqueeracademic Ā· 11 months
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morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 15:
season 4, episode 3, ā€œLazarettoā€:
- my expectations are really low for this episode
- the last episode was so aggressively gay iā€™m just assuming this one wonā€™t be
- unfortunate but here we are!
- ew i hate hospitals
- i love old nurse uniforms though
- elite fashion tbh
- morse in a wife beater agenda ā€¼ļø
- of fucking course joan called him from a goddam pay phone
- iā€™m IRRITATED šŸ—£ļø
- my tv is glitching the fuck out
- fixed it!
- anyways
- the head nurse reminds me of the sister in fleabag and i always think itā€™s her but itā€™s not
- and thatā€™s my story
- morse uses the same body language with debryn that he uses with women heā€™s attracted to
- iā€™m just saying šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø
- the way everyone looks at the parrot is so fucking funny
- we are barely ten minutes into this episode and weā€™re already headed to the armory
- NO BRIGHT NO
- anyone but bright.
- you can kill ANY CHARACTER
- bright killed a tiger tho iā€™m pretty sure heā€™s immortal at this point
- no because listen
- debryn is perfect for morse
- IM SERIOUS
- he comes to the hospital immediately out of loyalty to the precinct and also because he knows morse is there alone
- he immediately tells morse who is in the operating room and that the surgeon is talented and morse doesnā€™t have to worry
- and then promises to go see whatā€™s what for morse so he doesnā€™t have to wear himself out
- and THEN he brings morseā€™s mind back to the case hes working on because he knows morse copes by working and wants to take his mind off bright
- debryn knows all the ins and outs of morseā€™s brain and respects every facet of him and works in favor of him every time without fail
- hes fucking perfect
- i love him
- everyone loves bright so much iā€™m sick
- the head nurse reminds me of the evil lady from chicken run
- i hate this lady caroline
- she didnā€™t really do anything wrong in this moment with morse but like
- you are the mother of the woman who broke morse as a human being and forever scarred his perception of love
- and then ur gonna brag about what her new man is doing? just to rub it in that he ā€œwasnā€™t good enoughā€ for her and still isnā€™t?
- despicable.
- i donā€™t even wanna promote the queer aspects of that even tho it would be easy to
- because that was just fucking cruel
- and morse deserved better
- it cannot be comfortable for bakewell to have his arm cuffed up like that for that long
- they should do it lower for sure
- justice for winnie ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
- i love her i just want her to be happy
- trewlove is so worried about bright
- bright and trewlove šŸ¤žšŸ¤ž i love them
- ā€œWe were engaged to be married. And then we werenā€™t.ā€
- THIS is why morse is the most relateable fictional character ever to me personally
- because he SIMPLIFIES this sort of stuff
- he could tell the whole story
- say what transpired and why she left and what he did wrong or didnā€™t do wrong and who sheā€™s with now and why he became a cop instead of pushing himself and being happy
- but he says this.
- we were and then we werenā€™t.
- because all human experience can be taken as that.
- we are and then we arenā€™t
- and itā€™s all very simple
- and despite all the pain he feels and all the ways itā€™s affected his life
- he knows itā€™s as simple as that
- THIS FUCKING SHOW RAHHHSHEKFOSK šŸ¦…šŸ¦…šŸ¦…
- the way that nurse mills keeps side eyeing morse
- girl calm down
- the way morse runs šŸ’€
- go morse go! šŸƒā€ā™€ļøšŸƒā€ā™€ļø
- thursday should not have left bakewell and i stand by that
- even though nothing happens someone should have stayed with him to keep him safe
- but noooo šŸ™„šŸ™„šŸ™„ thursday has to care about morse and make sure heā€™s okay
- morse just visiting debryn for fun at this point
- monica šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
- JESUS THURSDAY
- slamming his head against the brick wall is so wild
- unnecessary some might say!
- perhaps evenā€¦ police brutality!
- which youā€™ve been suspended for!!
- every time i start to like him šŸ™„šŸ™„
- oh my GOD monica is so beautiful
- ā€œtreat the next one better.ā€
- GET HIM MONICA
- both of them avoiding the question ā€œare you happy?ā€
- final straw
- the way thursday just hates having brights job
- itā€™s so funny
- thursday loves winnie so much iā€™m SICK
- iā€™ll prolly never get married but if i do i want it to be like them
- the way this show handles mental health issues is like
- actually not that bad
- like 8/10 times they do a really good job
- especially given the time period
- heā€™s a murderer and all but bakewell is funny as fuck
- ā€œi get the uncontrollable urge to murder nosy parkers šŸ˜”. ta for the grapes šŸ„°šŸ„°!ā€
- like ok??!
- funny as fuck
- that picture of joan is absolutely foul
- just throwing it out there
- ā€œi had a reverse charges call from leamington.ā€ ā€œwasnt me.ā€
- i hate her right now
- i know i said i loved her like two posts ago but i fucking hate her
- like sheā€™s intentionally hurting these people and doesnā€™t care
- like how does she just not care how much what sheā€™s doing is affecting the people in her life?
- i know sheā€™s traumatized
- but ONE phone call to ur parents wouldnā€™t kill you šŸ™„
- i have 0 understanding of how sheā€™s blaming herself for the death at the bank
- they didnā€™t know who she was until he was already dead
- like girl get it together
- ā€œi donā€™t care.ā€ ā€œi do.ā€ ā€œyou shouldnā€™t.ā€
- GIRL SHUT UP ā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
- pissing me tf off
- anyways šŸ˜
- bright is so šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
- just a little guy tbh
- GIVE BRIGHT CHILDRENšŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø (heā€™s like 80 years old do not give him kids)
- what is this trend of bringing grapes to people in the hospital? is that something i should be aware of?
- goddam morseā€™s ex is RICH
- the way that people donā€™t like dr. powell because they think heā€™s a ladies man but he literally just wants to be a doctor šŸ˜­
- let my man breathe!
- the way susan was sick TWO YEARS AGO and morse looks worried like itā€™s happening right now
- ā€œhave you spoken to susan?ā€ ā€œyes. i havenā€™t mentioned you.ā€
- girl shut your bitchass up
- sick and tired of your classist bullshit
- this guy talking to corpses is so šŸ¤ØšŸ¤Ø
- NO BAKEWELLā€¼ļø
- what the fuck.
- how on earth is dr. powell working from 7:30 in the morning until after 3 in the morning the next day
- how does he function
- stop šŸ„ŗ the way morse turns his back before strange opens the trunk and then just peeks over his shoulder to look
- heā€™s a fucking pussy šŸ˜
- KIDDING
- iā€™m obsessed w him and i truly believe his inability to look at the deceased is his most endearing quality
- thursday cares about morse sm iā€™m SICK
- NAUR THEYRE PUTTING BRIGHT IN BED TEN
- morse talking to the parrot is funny as fuck tbh
- morse is obsessed w debryn
- how the fuck did debryn notice a microscopic wound on someoneā€™s ass
- heā€™d have to be STUDYING that ass
- wild!
- anywho
- i love the way morse talks to debryn and debryn talks to morse
- just two geniuses bouncing off each other šŸ„°šŸ„°
- trewlove OUT OF UNIFORM coming to visit bright is so sweet
- itā€™s like he has a daughter
- iā€™m obsessed āœ‹šŸ™„
- okay i was wrong. powell is a terrible person!
- the nurses are dramatic asf tbh
- i cannot imagine real nurses behaving this way
- oh my god susanā€™s dad died
- this could be my breaking point!
- i also would love to point out the fact that morse insists on formalities in most if not all situations, meaning he refers to people as ā€œMs./Mrs./Mr. ____ā€
- but he calls susanā€™s mom ā€œCarolineā€
- just her first name and nothing else
- like he and susan were engaged to be married
- like he really loved her and she maybe really loved him
- like at some point her parents loved morse and took him in
- like they treated him like family
- like they were excited for him to marry their daughter and therefore let him call them by their first names
- like they were close
- like a family
- everything about what happened between him and susan HURTS and idk how to handle it
- also i FUCKING HATE CAROLINE
- ā€œIā€™m so sorry.ā€ ā€œAre you?ā€ ā€œYes, of course. Edgar was always very decent to me.ā€ ā€œWell, he always had a weakness for failures.ā€
- like YOUR DAUGHTER LEFT MORSE
- not the other way around
- i fucking hate classism
- thereā€™s a whole other analysis i could do of this whole situation that would be about his queerness and how it could play into all this but iā€™m like
- i fucking hate caroline
- she sucks so bad
- like the way she tells him the CHIEF CONSTABLE RUPERT STANDISH said he would never amount to much
- which already is bullshit because of his involvement with landesman and wintergreen, meaning that he was involved with the group who intentionally sabotaged morse and are still attempting to now (he died in the neverland episode so itā€™s not him directly anymore but still)
- and then says ā€œYou didnā€™t even pass your sergeants exam!ā€
- which is bullshit because she doesnā€™t know what happened and he canā€™t defend himself because itā€™ll make it sound like heā€™s making excuses for what sheā€™s interpreting as failures
- ā€œYou see, I was right about you, even then.ā€ ā€œWhen you speak to Susan please give her my condolences.ā€ ā€œAnd your love.ā€ ā€œNo. No. Look, whatever you may think of me, I am truly sorry heā€™s dead.ā€
- the DISGUST on his face when she says ā€œand your loveā€
- i fucking hate her
- and morse deserved better
- itā€™s obvious that what happened is still tearing him up even now
- and thatā€™s why heā€™s so sensitive about people leaving him (jakes, joan)
- and why he will always assume people heā€™s in love with or carries any love for are going to leave
- i fucking hate this show ā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
- two female murderer episodes in a row i am running my hands together like a little mouse
- this girl is wild for killing that many people tbh
- morse hugging her instead of dragging her away ā˜¹ļø
- heā€™s so gentle i HATE IT HERE
- thank fuck bright lived
- idk how i would have reacted if something happened tbh
- i cannot believe the only shot we get of susan is from the back šŸ˜
- okay for you tarot kids!
- intersecting the tower card with the death card usually has a lot of negative meanings. it represents suffering, typically by means of illness or pain of some kind
- the death card is a typically pretty happy card despite the connotation, but when combined with the tower card itā€™s p shit
- the tower card usually represents suffering or destruction
- combing the two cards doesnā€™t bode well for morse and itā€™s our first intersection in the reading weā€™re getting at the end of these episodes!
- so far we have sacrifice, union, and now a traumatizing ending of something resulting in suffering
- things are not boding well for our boy!
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heartmis Ā· 10 months
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FAVE SHOWS TAG GAME
tagged by @eyeldritch! thank u so much šŸ’–
rules: list 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly.
the last of us
supernatural
the office
house of the dragon
fleabag
ā€” who is your favorite character in 2?
castiel (pretends to be shocked)
ā€” who is your least favorite character in 1?
abby
ā€” what's your favorite episode of 4?
i believe itā€™s called ā€œdriftmarkā€
ā€” what is your favorite season of 5?
season 2!
ā€” what's your favorite relationship in 3?
jim & pam šŸ„ŗ
ā€” who is your anti relationship in 2?
there are so many i donā€™t know where to begin šŸ˜­
ā€” how long have you watched 1?
since it first came out
ā€” how did you become interested in 3?
everyone was using scenes from the show as memes & theyā€™d always made me laugh
ā€” who is your favorite actor in 4?
matt smith
ā€” which show do you prefer: 1, 2 or 5?
ahh iā€™ll say spn just because i grew up with it
ā€” which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?
the office!
ā€” if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?
whoever gets to ride dragons the most
ā€” how would you kill off your favorite character in 5?
heā€™s a priest i have no idea
ā€” would a 3/4 crossover work?
thatā€™d be fun
ā€” pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple
joel & mental stability
ā€” overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?
i love them equally
the end
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besavedbyaperfectkiss Ā· 1 year
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favourite fleabag scene tho
Bestie!!!!!! Hiiiiiii
Fleabag scenes that live in my mind for No Reason:
Obviously ā€œitā€™ll passā€ god it hurts So Good
The scene when the Jesus painting falls behind her bc sheā€™s normal for not believing in God šŸ˜­
The confessionary scene hits EVERY time. I love it so so much and it will always hit too good and too hard
ā€œHis beautiful neckā€ šŸ˜­ she gets it idk
ā€œItā€™s Frenchā€ is also so good
And when he broke the fourth wall bc my heart goes šŸ’–
Honorable mentions: the dinner scene when he interrupts her and asks her a question and sheā€™s like actually Seen šŸ„ŗ and definitely in the pilot when her and her sister are the only 2 raising their hands bc same queens. Theyā€™re so real for that idc
I LOVE YOU NANDINI šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–
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tolerateit Ā· 2 years
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megmeg i love you so so so much! you deserve your milestone and more! thank you for tagging me plus, let me tell you something: there's nothing like a book/movie/music recommendation, i think it's really "intimate" and says a lot about someone, so here's mine; for books you should really read "margherita dolcevita" by stefano benni and "the shadow of the wind" by carlos ruiz zafon! for movies, my fav are: the help, forrest gump, the shape of water, midsommar. (+tv series bonus: fleabag, a series of unfortunate events, the office). i hope you're gonna enjoy those as much as i did. i love you endlessly!!!šŸ¤
giusy you lovely bean ilysmmm!! Thank you <333 and you are so right, anything recommend to me reveals something about the person to me and it is so endearing to understand them a little better šŸ„ŗ your taste is absolutely perfect btw (fleabag and midsommar? *chef's kiss*) and the shadow of the wind has been on my tbr for TWO YEARS hahaha I have to check it out now lol! my recs for you are bluets, which is a poetry collection I've heard great things about, and the vanishing half!
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pseudonympls Ā· 2 years
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Into Temptation
A/N: Finally got around to finishing my priest!Bo fic!
Largely inspired by a recent rewatch of Fleabag, and just generally my love of the idea of Bo wearing a clerical collar and being celibate and..oop (also in an interview where he said he considered becoming a pastor when he was younger!?)
Bo Burnham x AFAB Reader
Rating: Explicit. priest!bo. smoker!bo. catholicism. bi reader. corruption. unprotected sex. masturbation. oral sex. fingering. creampie. dirty talk. confession. religious undertones. Probably blasphemy.
Word Count: 14k
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Cover art by the lovely & talented @pharlapcartoonist - I still can't believe the crazy amount of work that goes into these šŸ„ŗšŸ˜©šŸ–¤
* * *
You heard your phone buzzing on the kitchen table, running to answer the call in haste, you stubbed your toe on the chair leg, cursing under your breath as you picked up the phone.
ā€œUh, Hello?ā€ you answered, a little out of breath, wincing at the pain radiating through your foot.
ā€œHey you! So, weā€™ve got a date for Lisaā€™s baptism!ā€ your sister chimed down the phone, you sighed, not quite realising the time had come for your sisterā€™s youngest to be taken into the church - however much you despised it. Your sister knew how much you loved her kids,
you could bear going back into the exact same church you had turned your back on all those years ago, you could do it, for them. You wouldnā€™t be happy about it, though.
ā€œBaptism?, ohā€ you replied reluctantly, padding around the kitchen and getting a glass out of the cabinet.
ā€œYeah..I know youā€™re not a fan of the church, but Derek really wants them baptised, you know what heā€™s likeā€ she said, still ever the air of positivity in her words.
ā€œA raging bastard?ā€ you retorted, a little too fast without thinking. Scrunching your nose up you headed over to the fridge, grabbed the carton of orange juice and started filling your glass, waiting for your outburst to be reprimanded.
But all you heard was your sister sighing deeply and continuing ā€œAnyway,ā€ - she had clearly learnt over the years to ignore your sharp tongue when it came to her husband, in lieu of a happier, simpler life with less arguments. Less stress.
ā€œYouā€™re coming right? For Lisa and Adam? Youā€™ve gotta, I know Lisa is so young but Adamā€™s gonna be heartbroken if youā€™re not thereā€¦youā€™re his favouriteā€ she said, her voice lilting into sing-song.
A sigh was your reluctant reply.
ā€œCā€™mon, the new priest at our church is really nice. Heā€™s a breath of fresh air actually, young, and dare I say itā€¦a hottieā€ your sisterā€™s description made you wince.
ā€œWh-what kind of incentive is that for me to show up?! The new priest is hot?! Sis, theyā€™re celibate, you know thatā€ you said, a little shocked at how brazen she insisted on being.
ā€œOh, come on, itā€™s just a bit of eye candy, and look whoā€™s talking, you might as well be celibate by now, right?ā€ she continued her taunting, and youā€™d just about had enough. Downing the rest of your orange juice you said sharply ā€œIā€™ll be there, just let me know where to pick up the dress from, sisā€ and hung up.
* * *
The weeks went by and your nieceā€™s baptism approached. You picked up the dress from the tailors (hideous tulle and satin in millennial pink, but the cut did accentuate your best features, which you secretly thanked your sister for) and set it on your nightstand, ready for the weekend. Ready to reluctantly return to the church.
The same church that you had walked away from almost twelve years ago now. You and your sister were brought up in the church - baptised before you could crawl and confirmed at the age of fifteen. You begrudgingly went along to mass, went along with everything despite how your devotion and belief was veering away from anything that could be considered religion. How the beginnings of resentment began to bubble beneath the surface.
How at the age of seventeen you had burst out of mass one morning, when the pastor had delivered a sermon on how people in the lgbtq+ community were going to hell. It was enough, it was fucking enough. It was bad enough being closeted at that age, but to be called out and vehemently told that you were being damned to all eternity because of who you were attracted to, or for who you may end up loving, was the fucking limit.
It had served as the coming out story to your family who were there huddled in the pews, staring at you with wide eyes and even wider mouths. It wasnā€™t as if they didnā€™t know - about the rumours of you kissing girls and boys behind the bleachers at school. They all knew - but their hubris surrounding religion and their god damn pride, overshadowed their need to protect their child, their floundering, desperately depressed and fucked up child.
Thankfully, yours was a story that had built you up, not knocked you down, not something that many others could say, having been beaten up, thrown out and downright disowned by their parents for coming out, you were one of the lucky ones, and you felt guilt with every day that passed.
Your family slowly distanced themselves from the church, first denying them the tithe, then loosening personal ties, then disappearing from the congregation altogether, after your cry for help. The god-damn caltholic shame started to ease away from your shoulders a little, bit by bit over the years. However, the shadow still loomed close by, ancient passages stuck in your mind like a lingering malodour, ready to pounce whenever the situation called for it. Unlearning it all was a delicate practice - one you had excelled at.
Which is why you found it odd that your sister picked Derek of all people as her partner - although you werenā€™t sure picked was the correct word. She had met him in her senior year of college, fell pregnant and he had insisted that they get married immediately. Coming from a strict catholic background himself - he couldnā€™t bear the thought of having children out of wedlock - or god forbid anything else.
Funny how a small tear in latex can completely change the course of someoneā€™s life. You were thankful however, that Adam, that bastard child, was the best nephew you could have ever hoped for. However trite it was to say, his smile literally lit up a room, significantly more than the sum of his parts, more like your sister than his father - you adored the little guy.
Then when your sister popped out another kid, Lisa, the time would come to give her over to the Catholic Church in rites consisting of holy water and ceremony. The last time youā€™d attended was for Adamā€™s baptism of course, the stuffy church and the even stuffier priest had confirmed your hatred of the place that used to offer you such safety and sanctuary, now it only gave you the chills.
Turning over your phone to check the time you nearly jumped out of your skin as you realised: you were already running late.
Throwing the vile pink dress on and shoving your feet into similarly coloured pumps you raced to unlock your car and punched the churches address into your phoneā€™s sat nav, even though you knew the exact route off by heart. Faded on your brain tissue like a scar, it didnā€™t hurt to be reminded, the journey to something resembling damnation.
Throwing your old Ford into park you raced out the car into the parking lot, the heat of the early afternoon sun beat down on the back of your neck, the quick updo you had tried out bobbing on the top of your head like a jack-in-a-box. You were sure you looked utterly comical: sweating, in this abomination of a dress, hair dangerously askew. You paused briefly to take a deep breath - to create the illusion that you werenā€™t running around, hell for leather trying to make up for your lateness.
The door creaked loudly as you pulled it open, alerting the entire congregation to your late arrival. Heads turned toward you, and Adam screamed your name in surprised excitement before he was subdued by his father.
The walk down the aisle was no better than a walk of shame, your eyes glued to the floor as you walked, looking up only to spy your destination next to your sister in the front row.
You glanced up, and saw the priest at the pulpit, staring at you along with everyone else.
Your sister was right, he was hot. Devastatingly so, far too attractive and young to be a priest. Early to mid thirties at the most.
He was tall, really tall; even with nothing nearby to compare him to. Obscenely long even in his standard issue all black priests wear, the stark white of the clerical collar peeking out next to his neck. His neck, oh, that was a beautiful thing, thick and venous, then you got to his gorgeous face. Dark blond slightly ruffled hair sat atop his head, and even from the distance you could see his piercing blue eyes, how they felt like they were penetrating your soul. After what was only a few seconds, he cleared his throat and continued on with the sermon, encouraging everyone to turn back toward him in that moment, taking the heat off you temporarily - until your sister got her claws into you, at least.
Time came for the Eucharist, and your sister elbowed you in the ribs as your behind remained firmly in the pew. ā€œCome on, if you donā€™t want to take it you can at least be blessedā€ she hissed, the rising of bodies all around you concealing your little spat.
ā€œI really donā€™t want toā€, you bemoaned, crossing your arms over your chest like a child, which your sister immediately picked up on, much to your chagrin.
ā€œStop being so childish, canā€™t you just do this one thing for me?!ā€ she scolded, speaking to you as if you were one of her children, and not her older sibling.
You wanted to retort with how even coming into this god-forsaken place was doing something for her, but that would just create a scene - one you were not so keen on making.
Against your better judgement you stood, smoothing the harsh tulle and satin over your hips as you joined the line to receive Christ - or in your case, to go through the motions, and deny the body and blood, in favour for letting your morals remain steadfast - unwavering in your certainty.
Finally, the priest reached you, he was so much taller close up, and so much more attractive than youā€™d initially given him credit for. He had a strong jaw, cut like a greek god - funnily enough. The dark blond hair you saw from a distance was parted to the side and roughly styled. As you looked you couldnā€™t help but think he looked oddly familiar, something in those blue eyes and the way his deep voice resonated through you, something about him drew you in - impossible to ignore, like faded memories from a distant past.
You slowly shook your head as he proffered the communion wafer to your lips, and he parted his slightly as he said a quick prayer, his eyes never left yours. He swallowed thickly and there was something distinctly dark beneath those pale blue eyes, something you couldnā€™t quite place.
There was something tangible in the air, and while it only lasted for a few seconds, it felt like it could have been hours. You knelt in that slightly uncomfortable silence, wishing he would say something to break it, but he never did. You sure as hell werenā€™t going to, either.
Clearing his throat loudly, he moved on to the next person, and as he ripped his gaze from yours, you couldnā€™t help but feel a little empty, a little strung out, you could look into those blue eyes forever and a day.
Rising up to your feet you cantered back to the pews, a little shaken and a little curious, as to what exactly that exquisite feeling was between you both. It wasnā€™t the ceremony - youā€™d endured enough of those to last a lifetime, let enough stale communion wafers dissolve on your tongue and supped enough cheap red wine to make you sick. No, it was something else altogether, a familiarity, a heat.
As Adam clambered into your arms for the rest of the ceremony, including the baptism of his baby sister, your eyes were pinned to the priest, the way he towered over every single person in that service. The self deprecating stance and wild gesticulation of his arms was something youā€™d never seen in a servant of God before, and youā€™d seen plenty. Gone were the curmudgeonly, dusty old servants of God, their sermons imparting no more blessing on a congregation than a snotty old sneeze - bible tales retold with such lacklustre they would lull a nun to sleep.
This one was different, he was enigmatic, loud, seemed to enjoy what he was preaching, and seemed to want feedback on how he was doing the whole time, managing to remain humble. Your sister did mention that he was new to the priesthood, you wondered exactly how new, as he double, triple checked his notes at the closing of the ceremony, and announced that refreshments would be had in the church gardens. The congregation filed out, your sisters' friends, Derekā€™s friends and family, and the children exited the churchā€™s back door, and you - your eyes scanned the room for a glimpse of the priest, found nothing - dejectedly followed the flock.
The bright sunlight surprised you as you trailed into the church gardens - immaculately kept, pink and white streamers hung from the tall conifers lining the gravelled area. You were shocked by the transformation it had undergone over the last few years. This ā€œgardenā€ was little more than an extended parking lot only a few years ago when you were here for Adamā€™s baptism.
It was balmy out, the early spring sun dazzling along the surface of the water in a small ornamental fountain, glints of light bouncing off and reflecting the sun's kind rays back at you.
Turning around to head toward your sister, you were startled as you saw the priest standing behind you, one hand buried deep in his pocket, as he said ā€œAdmiring the gardens?ā€ smiling and gesturing with his free hand to the modest splendour that had overtaken the once barren wasteland.
ā€œY-yeah, it was just a parking lotā€¦the-the last time I was hereā€ you said, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, desperately trying not to stare at the handsome tall blond standing opposite you.
ā€œThe last time you were here?ā€ he replied, tilting his head. Oh, he wanted to talk, make conversation, you tried desperately to quell the tsunami raging on in your stomach. ā€œY-yeah, I was here last for Adam - Lisaā€™s brotherā€™s baptismā€ you said, your fingers nervously fiddling with the charm on your purse, hoping your fidgeting wasnā€™t too obvious.
ā€œThanks for taking some of the heat off me before, by the way,ā€ you pointed back toward the church ā€œWhen I came in? I swear, Iā€™m not usually late to things, least of all important family events like thisā€ you whispered the last part, seeing the understanding in his eyes, the way his eyebrows tilted up in earnest.
ā€œOh, itā€™s no problem, it happens to all of usā€ he shrugged lightly, ā€œEspecially since I saw the way your sister shot daggers at you, I feel like youā€™ve already repented for itā€ He smiled, wrinkles framing his eyes, small but pink lips gave way to pearlescent, straight teeth. This dude couldnā€™t be more perfect if he tried.
* * *
After the required amount of schmoozing with family friends and distant relatives, you saw the children congregated on a colourful rug, set under the broad shade of one of the larger conifer trees, the priest in the centre, wildly gesturing with his hands as the children rolled around and giggled at his behest.
Inexplicably you felt drawn to them, and removed yourself from the banality of adult conversation in pursuit of something simpler, a little more fun.
ā€œSo what Iā€™m saying is - everyone thinks that this story is about how Jesus multiplied the few loaves and fishes to feed the five thousand, but actually, the real miracle was everyone having tiny scraps of food already on their person, squirrelled away in their pockets.ā€ the corners of his mouth turned up as he spoke, and a small smile spread across your own face in response.
ā€œEach person felt so guilty about taking this food, the portion so small, that they each took the food they already had, and ate that instead, reserving the rest for the truly needy.ā€ He was sure to maintain eye contact with each of the children huddled around him, keeping them engaged.
ā€œThe real miracle that Jesus performed was inspiring generosity in the menā€™s hearts.ā€ The priest spoke with such emphasis and fluency, a sparkle in his words and a tenderness to his voice, so it was no surprise that the kids were dumbfounded by his charismatic storytelling.
After a beat, one kid cheered ā€œwowā€ and ā€œoooh!ā€ said Adam. The children all looked expectantly at the priest, keen for another story. But as he spied you in the corner, idly taking the story in, he smiled, placing palms on his thighs as he looked back to the children ā€œAlright, thatā€™s enough story time for now, get back out there and play!ā€
With a chorus of dejected ā€œawwhhā€ā€™s the children scrambled to their feet and scampered away, Adam offering you a hug around the hips before he went off to play with the others.
You approached the priest and made your seat on the corner of the rug, half in sunlight, half in shade.
ā€œYou seem to have a real way with kids, yā€™knowā€ you said, picking a few grass stems out of the ground and childishly playing with them as you spoke.
ā€œY-yeah, I guess I doā€ he chuckled, thick fingers spearing through his blond locks, a half smile plastered on his face.
ā€œI uh, my brother and sister both have kids, so I guess Iā€™m used to being around themā€ he smiled, leaning back on his palms, legs stretched out long in front of him. In that position you could see how tall he really was, he was definitely pushing 6ā€™5, maybe even 6ā€™6.
ā€œAh, me too, I mean my sister has two kids, I love them, theyā€™re the sweetest, and the best part is, I donā€™t have to keep them!ā€ you joked, looking over at the group of children creating some fresh havoc on the other side of the gardens.
You slipped so effortlessly into conversation with him, that you barely noticed you were flirting. Not direct verbal flirtation, but your body seemed to react in ways which you were not in control of. A tilt of the head, a finger curling around an errant lock of hair that fell around your face - and that sheepish smile you always did, the way your eyes closed a little to make for a half lidded, through the lashes smirk. Warmth bloomed in your chest and your heart skipped a beat every now and then when his eyes met yours, it was like he was your polar opposite, you couldnā€™t help but be magnetically drawn to him.
ā€œSo, how did you get into the priesthood?ā€ you asked after a few back and forth conversations.
ā€œI, uh, well.ā€ he cleared his throat ā€œI was brought up catholic, went to a catholic boyā€™s school. I actually toyed a little with musical comedy, stupid songs on the internet, that kinda stuffā€¦ā€ he trailed off, his cheeks getting heated, and it dawned on you, the realisation hit you like a ten tonne truck.
Way back when in 2007, when most of your time was split between being a miscreant outside a dairy queen and trawling the new found internet for ā€œlolsā€ - you had seen him. Seen a tall boy with mop hair in a blue bedroom, wielding an acoustic guitar or playing a keyboard, and singing very offensive comedy songs, about sunday school, being a nerd at high school and one particular little ditty about how his ā€œwhole family thinks Iā€™m gayā€. Being a closeted bisexual at the time, you thought this schtick was fucking hilarious - the edgelord humour of the time still laying claim to your cringey teenage tastes.
This was the same guy. The fucking priest - collar and all, sat across from you, legs spread out, joking about how he had tried comedy, but had instead found god.
He must have seen the expression on your face change, as you stuttered ā€œY-youā€™reā€¦Bo Burnham?ā€ you asked, and he took in a deep sigh through his nose and nodded ā€œWell, yeah, but you can call me Father Bo, nowā€ he smiled, a look of embarrassment settling on his features, subduing your curiosity just a little.
ā€œOh shi-ā€ you stopped yourself from cursing in front of him, the man who only a decade earlier had been rapping more obscenities than you probably had in your entire vocabulary ā€œOh, wow I meanā€¦ā€ your mind whirred ā€œF-father Bo,ā€ you heard the words come out of your mouth and giggled at how silly they sounded.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, but that sounds like a character in a kidā€™s cartoon or somethingā€ you giggled, unable to stop laughing.
ā€œYou say that like itā€™s a bad thingā€ he mused, unfazed by your giggles.
You eventually settled, the last sigh of a laugh leaving your lungs, and you wiped at a stray tear that had made its way down your cheek.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, I justā€¦to go fromā€¦thatā€ you held a palm up ā€œTo thisā€ you mirrored the same with the opposite hand and shook your head in disbelief at him.
ā€œYeah, I guess it is a bit of a departure. I dunno, the performing thing was great for me at first. But eventually the heat got to me, and I just kept on having panic attack after panic attack, crying backstage before going on, awful - it was truly awful. There were times where I fully dissociated literally on stage, in front of hundreds of people.ā€ he paused, bringing a hand to cup his jaw in a way that shouldnā€™t have made you quiver.
ā€œYeah, it was just really rough, I uh, I quit performing live for the most part, and through all the anxiety and the depression, God was just always there in the background, guiding me, guiding me to this, I guess.ā€ He glanced at you ā€œAnd I guess that I just wanted to spread the word, and show how religion can be good and it can be tolerant, if in the right handsā€
You were dumbstruck, you guessed if you were really at an all time low, and it felt like god was always there, he was right in choosing the path that he did. Although you had twitched a little when he mentioned tolerance, wistfully hoping that he had been in charge when you were a teen, how it could have shaped things differently for you.
To lighten the mood, you decided to go back to the youtube subject ā€œYā€™know, back in the day, I actually had a small crush on you, well, the dude in the videos anywayā€ you smiled, revelling as he squirmed slightly, and the smile that barely reached his eyes.
ā€œYeah, I um, Iā€™ve had my own battles with anxiety and depression, and I guess, being from religion, and the reason I left it so abruptly meant that I just didnā€™t give it a second thoughtā€ you whispered, avoiding his eyes as they chased yours for contact.
He tilted his head to one side, the dappled light of the late afternoon sun filtering through the trees hitting the high points on his face, his prominent brow, the gentle curve of his nose - you were so enthralled by his sunlit appearance you barely heard him say ā€œH-howcome you left the church?ā€ - you could tell by the tone of his voice he knew it was a loaded question, the ambivalence in his eyes was clear.
ā€œUhm, I uhā€ you toyed with the bald patch of dirt just off the blanket, youā€™d nervously ripped it clean of any remaining grass during your conversation - how did he have this affect on you?
ā€œWell, I was in the process of realising and digesting my own sexuality, and um, one particular morning mass, the pastor, without a shadow of a doubt - said that people part of the LGBTQ+ community were going to hellā€¦and I, I lost itā€ you lifted your lashes to look at him finally, a slight hint of confusion and sorrow in his eyes.
He choked out an ā€œO-ohā€ and nodded along, before saying ā€œYouā€™re um, youā€™re?ā€ he flapped, unsure of what to say next, and it made you smile at his embarrassment.
ā€œIā€™m bisexual, yeah, I guess I was figuring out that stuff for myself, and when I was told by someone I was meant to respect and look up to, that I was going to be damned to hell, well - any and all respect for what they stood for went right out the windowā€ you replied, seeing his brows furrow with the micromovements of his head - nodding along in silent agreement.
Clearing his throat he ran those thick fingers through his sandy hair and said ā€œLook, I know the Catholic church can be strict, I know as much as anyone, but I firmly believe that any pastor, priest or minister that thoroughly believes such disgusting things - that they arenā€™t working in godā€™s best interest, hell to them if they try to force those backward beliefs on anyone else, as well.ā€
What he said knocked you for six and it took everything you had to continue breathing properly, nevermind put together a cohesive reply.
ā€œI truly believe that religion comes from a dark and bloody past, but we need to learn from that stuff, and I think that love is the only way forward, unconditional and unjudging. Sexuality has no bearing on whether that person will be loved by Godā€ he said, pursing his lips, the strength of his conviction bolstered by the flush creeping up his jaw.
ā€œIt does say in the bibleā€¦ā€ you started before he cut you off with a laugh ā€œOh, the bible says a lot of stuff - but we have to remember that the good book was written by men, a really really long time ago. Edited however many times, translated back and forth - if you heard the end of my story beforeā€ he nodded over to the kids screaming and shouting at the other side of the gardens ā€œThen youā€™ll know I donā€™t always preach the bible word for word, most of it is absolutely up for interpretation, even criticism, including the dated parts about condemning people for who they loveā€ he huffed, clearly coming to the end of a slight ramble, his eyes focused on the tips of his shoes - converse. A priest who believed gay people werenā€™t going to hell and who wore converse?! This guy was definitely freshly plucked from a childrenā€™s story.
ā€œHmm, maybe I do wanna find God after all,ā€ you surmised, letting your lips stretch into a coy smile, feeling that familiar heat and tension from before slowly rise in the dappled air between you - the sweet scent of the spring flowers the only thing that penetrated the thick atmosphere between you both.
After a few moments of silence, you lifted your head saw his eyes on you, he said ā€œWell, maybe sometime I could help youā€ his eyes widened in surprise ā€œI-I mean show you how religion helped me, I guess, how I found Godā€ he corrected himself, and you both fought back giggles as he stood up to go and help with the rest of the celebrations.
As he walked away back to the church, he glanced back. Not once but twice, and your mind slowly registered all the times during that conversation that his eyes dipped to your lips, the way they followed your every move, how even an innocent bite of a lip, him deep in thought - left your knees knocking together.
* * *
Brushing the flushed feeling aside, you went to go enjoy the rest of the festivities, holding Lisa whenever your sister got exhausted, and avoiding Derek as much as humanly possible. When the party was nearing its end, you heaved a sigh of relief, suddenly realising that the dark headache balling in the back of your skull was stress - brought on by overstimulation to copious amounts of family, and socialising - an unpleasant mixture that you tried to avoid doing too often.
There was only one cure for that, and it was as filthy as the feeling permeating your skull. As you rounded the corner, you wished that youā€™d be able to say goodbye to Father Bo, you really enjoyed his company - and while you knew nothing feasibly could happen between you two, it didnā€™t hurt to get some extra interaction in, saving the images of him in your mind for later, for more solitary times.
It was like the universe had answered your call, your old secret smoking spot behind the church was already occupied by him - Bo.
One foot pressed up against the brick wall of the building, he let a long pillar of smoke out of his mouth before even realising you were standing there.
He looked surprised for but a fraction of a second, and raised up his arms in mock surrender - he drawled ā€œYou got meā€ and took another long drag from his almost spent cigarette.
You walked over, leaning against the wall, and said ā€œIsnā€™t smoking a sin?ā€ tongue in cheek as you questioned him.
Laughing another thick stream of smoke out he replied ā€œNot technically. You know, I can drink tooā€ he raised his eyebrows at you, slightly mocking.
You let out a fake gasp, and said ā€œOoh, Irish Catholics drinking?! I donā€™t know about thatā€ - he chuckled at your half joke, laced with sarcasm.
You pouted and lifted your shoulders up to your ears as you said ā€œCan I please have one?ā€ - batting your eyelashes at him, pointing at the cigarette in his hand. He shook his head in defeat as his hand delved into his pocket to retrieve the pack.
ā€œAlright, but donā€™t tell the big guy Iā€™m indulging your vices, okay?ā€ he joked, letting you slide the cigarette out of the packet and between your lips. He neared you as he clicked his chunky silver lighter and the flame sparked to life the sweet nicotine that started to flood your veins.
The cigarette dangling between your teeth you muffled an ā€œI wonā€™t tell himā€ - followed by a quirk of your eyebrows that earned yet another laugh from him.
You both smoked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the nicotine softening the blow of that knot in the back of your head, unravelling the rope and letting your mind settle into a more bearable ease.
Or at least you thought so, before the nicotine rush prompted you to ask him a question that could be considered at its best risque, and at its worst, grotesque.
ā€œSo speaking of vicesā€¦what do you do about sex?ā€ the words tumbled from your mouth before your brain had a say in the matter, and you groaned inwardly at your brazen vulgarity.
He laughed loudly, the sound like a soft nectar to your ears - so much more high pitched than his normal booming timbre, the sound of summer rain on a hot day or a delicate bell ringing out into the night. It dispelled a little of the tension you had created - asking such a lewd question.
He cleared his throat and said ā€œWell, technically weā€™re meant to abstain from any and all sexual activityā€ - you were surprised by his candor, and even more taken aback by the way he looked at you as he said it - even the nicotine couldnā€™t have prepared you for that glance.
ā€œWh-what, you mean evenā€¦ā€ you trailed off as your free hand mimicked the motion of jerking an abnormally large invisible cock in front of you, and his cheeks turned pink as he watched your hand, a little too intently.
ā€œY-yeah, even thatā€ he conceded with a half smile.
ā€œIt-it doesnā€™t bother meā€ he shrugged unconvincingly, ā€œI got that stuff out of my system when I was younger, I supposeā€ he continued, not making eye contact.
ā€œOh?ā€ you countered, taking a deep drag in from the cigarette between your lips, needing the extra nicotine to propel you through the conversation without getting too flustered. It didnā€™t work.
In the sunlight you saw the heat that crept up his neck, and you tried to desperately ignore the pleasure you derived from seeing him blush like that.
ā€œYeaahhā€ he conceded, ā€œW-what is love, and sex, when you donā€™t have him guiding you, blessing you, every dayā€ gesturing up to the sky, an abundance of white fluffy clouds blowing in from the west, casting Bo half in shadow as he spoke.
ā€œI-I wouldnā€™t know, I guessā€ you replied, your eyes found the floor, not knowing what would be a sufficient reply to him at that moment.
He stubbed out his cigarette on the wall behind him, and heaved the biggest sigh youā€™d heard all day before he said ā€œWell, it was lovely to meet you, Iā€™ve got some business to take care of inside, but, Iā€™d love to see you back here sometimeā€ - he walked off, not looking back this time, and as your shaking fingers brought the remainder of the cigarette up to your lips, you thought on those words. There was something in that lingering glance before he turned away that said that heā€™d like to see you back here in a way you weren't sure was permissible.
* * *
Returning to the greatly diminished party, you reconvened with your sister and said your goodbyes, Derek eyed you oddly and sniffed the air around you, and barely said a word to you as your sister packed the children into his car and drove away.
Clambering into your car you were shaken, utterly blindsided by what little interaction youā€™d with Bo had shattered your resolve - how you usually felt so totally unflappable, in the driver's seat, calling all the shots. Bo had turned that on its head - and the worst part was, he was severely off limits. Comically so. God did sure work in mysterious ways, and you fucking hated the bastard for it.
Settling back into your apartment you decided to numb your longing with a little alcohol. Ā¾ of a bottle of wine later, you were meandering around the living room, drunkenly humming along to a tune you didnā€™t know the name of. Falling back onto the sofa you giggled quietly to yourself, letting your mind wander back to the events of the day. As your mind wandered so did your fingers, and as they say: idle hands are the devil's playground.
Your frisky fingers found the hem of your billowing skirts, the pink dress you hadnā€™t bothered to remove on your arrival home. Images of Bo flooded your mind, the smile that made his dimple wink at you from his cheek, the soft blush that crept up his cheeks whenever you mentioned his days on youtubeā€¦or masturbating.
It should have spurred you on, but you were more than a little embarrassed at your awkward conversation starter after heā€™d given you a cigarette. What the fuck was wrong with you? Were you touching yourself over the thought of a priest?! Your debauchery clearly knew no bounds as you pulled down the hem of your skirt, feeling horridly and thoroughly flushed with shame and humiliation, feeling utterly ridiculous. A caricature of yourself.
Divisive action needed to be taken, and as you sank the final glass of wine, you decided that you needed to confess your sins: desperately. The need was overwhelming, overwhelming in the most damning way.
You pushed any sense of morality or logic out of your mind as you ordered the uber. Securing the noose around your own neck as you waited, knowing that an honest confession wasnā€™t really on the cards, knowing deep down what you really wanted, what you secretly desired. It burned the insides of your flesh and stung the backs of your eyes. Your secret need to corrupt him was what made you slam the apartment door behind you, tightening the noose.
* * *
You saw the spires approaching in the distance. Youā€™d gone back and forth over your decision the whole taxi ride there. In your mind, questions flew by as frequently as the glowing streetlights:
Was this right?
Was this totally inappropriate?
Would he even be there at this hour?
All you knew was the desperation to find out, as you thanked the driver and slammed the door shut. Walking over to the building, your heels made an obnoxious click-clack over the asphalt as you moved, echoing against the other building which was far enough away to supply a delayed feedback of your steps.
Knots twisted and writhed in your belly as you neared the doors. It could be so easy to turn back now, you thought. You could just as easily whip out your phone and get another Uber.
Seeing lights on was promising, you thought as you drew ever closer. Mere moments away from pulling on the door you turned around, aghast. Alarmed at what you were about to do.
What were you about to do? You were about to go into this church at 9.30 at night, more than a little tipsy, with the hopes of speaking to Father Bo again. You whirled around and took a deep breath, desperately trying to huff some sense into your lungs as you fumbled for your phone. Sliding it out of your pocket you tapped the screen. Opening the app, you were just about to hail another Uber when the battery symbol flashed up on the screen before the phone turned into a black mirror in your hand - signalling that you had been too god damn busy drinking and fantasising all evening to charge your phone.
ā€œFuckā€ you cursed, and turned back to the church doors. Now, your only option.
Finding the courage somewhere to pull on the heavy door you felt the lock resist your desperation.
Locked. Shut for the night. You pulled on the door in frustration, letting out a tiny yelp as you struggled. Your intentions might not have been the purest, but now you were well and truly fucked - your own desperate and sinful actions had lead to your ruin.
Sighing deep, you leant back against the thick wooden door. Still a little fuzzy from the wine, your mind attempted to calculate the next move - that was until something clicked behind your head and, your brain struggling to keep up with your body - you tumbled toward the ground.
Warm, large hands caught you and whispered ā€œwh-itā€™s you?ā€
He set you upright with relative ease, his size so much more apparent now in the warm glow of the church, the darkness of the parking lot behind you seeming that much more unappealing.
ā€œY-yeah, itā€™s meā€ you answered, dusting yourself off and standing up straight in an effort to appear sober, after an entire bottle of wine.
ā€œWh-well I canā€™t say itā€™s not nice to see youā€ Bo said, the corners of his lips turning up into a sly smile ā€œbut what are you doing here, at this time?ā€œ you swallowed hard and your mouth ran ahead of your mind.
ā€œUm, Iā€¦ahā€¦I thought churches were meant to be open all the time, you know, for those in needā€¦or something?ā€ You babbled, trying to deflect away from your real purpose for being here. Hoping a swift misdirection would catch him off guard, and heā€™d be none the wiser.
ā€œUm, well it is 2022, it would be incredibly difficult to have the church open all hours. For one I need to sleep, and for two thereā€™s been a couple instances where ne'er do wells and crackheads and such break in, trying to steal, or whateverā€ crossing his arms across his chest, you couldnā€™t help but stare at his size, how broad he was. Your mind wandered briefly to how those arms would feel wrapped around you, but he cleared his throat and said ā€œsorry to repeat myself, but what are you doing here? Are you in-ā€œ he paused, one eyebrow cocking up ā€œin need?ā€
You swallowed thickly, your brain racing a mile a minute. Did you come clean? Be honest? In all honesty you were in need, but it wasnā€™t God you needed, or perhaps it was. The jury was out on that one.
Your eyes honed in on that delicious looking tendon in his neck, the way it pressed against the skin, jutted out so far you had the faintest urge to bite it, suckle on his appetising looking flesh. The way you could almost see his heartbeat flutter against the black and white of his clerical collar, such a symbol of purity and piety, only made the ache in your belly intensify, making you want to have him break those vows in favour of some newer, filthier ones.
Excuses raced through your mind, each one more stupid than the last - and you eventually landed on something not too far from the truth ā€œIā€¦I needed to confess-ā€œ you said, tacking on a ā€œFatherā€ on the end for good measure.
ā€œOh?ā€ He asked, not budging from his position.
ā€œY-yeah, Iā€™ve been doing some thinking, and I really would like to get back into itā€ your words came so fast, you could barely believe how genuine the lies sounded.
ā€œGet back intoā€¦?ā€ Bo asked, seemingly in a playful mood.
ā€œUmm, yā€™know, the whole organised religion thingā€ you floundered, hoping it would be enough for him.
His eyebrows raised in surprise as he beckoned you into the building, out from the creeping darkness of outside and into the warmth and soft light of the church.
You heard him close and lock the door behind him, and tried to ignore the shiver that the sound prompted as it travelled up your spine. Once locked out, you were now locked in. With him.
ā€œI was hoping youā€™d be backā€ he said, leading you to the confession booth ā€œbut I wasnā€™t anticipating it would be this fastā€ he chuckled to himself.
You caught up to him and you swore you could smell the faint tang of whiskey on him. Hm, maybe you hadnā€™t been the only one drinking that night?
ā€œDo you remember how to do it?ā€ He chided and you shot him an annoyed look. ā€œYeah, duh!ā€ - you retorted as you stepped into the booth.
Drawing the curtain and kneeling down, you were suddenly aware of how intimate this felt.
Father Bo took his place in the opposite side of the booth, and even the faint outline of him that could be seen through the screen made you feel weak. Even though you couldnā€™t see him, you heard his breaths, whenever he shifted slightly in his seat - and your heart thrummed in your throat as he cleared his throat and began to speak.
ā€œYou know what to doā€ he said, reassuring and a little authoritative - your eyes rolled into the back of your head a little, at how those simple words made you squirm.
ā€œB-bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been-ā€œ you paused, totting up the years in your head and out on your fingers. ā€œEleven yearsā€ you chuckled at the obscene amount of time ā€œsince my last confession.ā€
You recited the script, the words spilled out the back of your mind like a long lost memory, the speed and fluency with which they flew across your tongue startled you a little, and you barely realised how much time you had paused for before you heard Father Bo clear his throat quietly again.
Father Bo said ā€œTell me your sinā€ - his words calm and clear, you tried to ignore how they made you soak your underwear right then and there, how you felt the seeping heat that bloomed between your thighs. You silently cursed yourself.
ā€œIā€¦I have been thinking indecent thoughts-ā€œ you started, afraid of continuing further. The reality of the situation was starting to collapse in on itself like a house of cards. Suddenly, the confession booth felt claustrophobic, like it was closing in on you. Wooden beams sagging dangerously close to your head and sawdust flying into your eyes.
ā€œAbout someoneā€ you finished, afraid of adding more detail - afraid of letting him know the truth.
ā€œWh-what have you been thinking about this personā€ he countered, and you heard the waver in his voice, the break in that seemingly impenetrable veneer of holiness, the steadfast notion that he was bound only to God, and it strengthened your conviction.
ā€œIā€¦Iā€™ve been fantasising about having sex with them. While I-ā€ you pushed yourself to say the words, spit them out into the ether. The die had already been cast, sitting in the confessional opposite him - you couldnā€™t turn back in the labyrinth that your choices had created.
ā€œWhile I t-touch myselfā€
Silence, only broken by the shallow sound of his ragged breaths.
ā€œG-god will forgive you your transgressions, he knows we are but mere slaves to our bodies, our lust, especially since it doesnā€™t involve sins of others flesh, he will forgiveā€ Bo eventually said, and your ears pricked up at the gentle sound - so soft your ears strained to hear it. The slow, gorgeous sound of a zipper coming undone.
You clenched at the sound, your mind started spinning, ears straining even more to pick up any other sounds, but there were none.
ā€œT-tell me about them, your thoughtsā€ he whispered, and tingles spread along your shoulders, earning a small gasp from your lips.
ā€œAre you sure? They were really filthy fantasiesā€ you said, barely believing the concoction of filth spilling out your mouth - and into his ears.
He chuckled darkly and you heard him shift in his seat, and an even more decadent sound. The sound of cotton grazing against flesh.
ā€œI-Iā€™m sure, this confession thing isnā€™t supposed to go both ways, but I know - from experienceā€ he conceded, the shame audible in his voice, the low growl with which he spoke called attention to your now sodden underwear, the feel of it slipping against your thighs pressed together, knees quivering slightly as you knelt. The slimy, embarrassing feeling licking up your body and into your throat, rendering you temporarily dumb. ā€œThat he will forgive youā€
After a few quiet moments Bo whispered your name and said ā€œWh-who was it, in your fantasies?ā€ and you swallowed the last remaining ounce of pride you had left, and whispered
ā€œYou, Fatherā€
The silence was deafening, and you worried that youā€™d made a monumental mistake. What the fuck were you doing?! Coming to church at stupid-oā€™clock, tipsy, horned out of your mind with the batshit plan of seducing a priest?! Thinking back on it now, you were so incredibly glad of your rash nature, of your ability to act spontaneously on instinct - how it had never failed you, not even this time.
The quandary rolled over your frazzled mind again and again as the seconds passed, you contemplated throwing open the curtain and bolting for the doors - before remembering that he had locked them tight behind you. Nowhere to go.
Through your loud thoughts you faintly heard a ā€œFuckā€ from the other side of the confessional, and a rustling.
Oh.
You were about to be reprimanded, maybe even thrown out on the street for your vulgarity, for your sin.
ā€œF-father?ā€ you threw the question out into the abyss, hearing nothing in return for several slow, long seconds.
Silence.
ā€œBo?ā€ you conceded weakly with his name, trying desperately to hear some reply - even if it was in the form of the heavy doors of the church unlocking to signal your disgraced departure.
Nothing.
All of a sudden, the curtain of the confession booth was hastily ripped aside, and Father Bo was standing there, towering, dark and eclipsed by the light shining behind him. You were blind to his features, the shape of his face hidden by the darkness.
The words he uttered next would be etched in your brain forever.
ā€œGod, forgive meā€ he whispered as he grabbed you from the booth, setting you standing in front of him - the soft light of the church assaulting your corneas after the relative darkness of the confessional.
Suddenly aware of the height difference again, you felt stunned, your limbs incapable of making any meaningful movement as one of his large hands found your waist - the other whose fingers wrapped around the soft line of your jaw and pulled - pulled you up to him, as he bowed down to you.
ā€œIā€™ve been thinking about you all dayā€ he whispered, the wildness in his eyes that you saw briefly before shutting your own, stoked the flames that raged on in your belly. As your desperate lips touched, quivering and hungry for contact, for sensation, he melted into you, earning a soft groan from you as your lips explored one anothers.
ā€œIā€™m so weak, so fucking weakā€ he breathed against your lips between kisses, his thick fingers gripping you like a vice.
The hot tang of whiskey hit your tongue as he slowly, sweetly laved at your lips for entry, bracing your hands at his midsection for balance you permissed him. Letting his thick tongue probe lightly at the entrance of your mouth, the spicy woody notes of the liquor burning your tongue. Setting a precedent for how the rest of your body would soon feel - ablaze with heat and rough with passion, its taboo nature making it feel that much more delicious.
You leaned into the kiss, barely believing the reality of what was occurring, his hands anchoring you to him in that moment, to reality - but still your head spun freely.
Thankful to be receiving as well as giving, he was an incredible kisser. His tongue both tender and ferocious.
His hands travelled on their wayward journey, threading through your hair and pulling you closer to him. You felt the telltale bulge press hotly against you through your clothing, and you made a concentrated effort to tilt your hips further into him, drawing a long groan from his lips as you pressed against him wantonly.
Slowly he pulled away from you, and took you by the hand, leading you through the dark corridors of the church, you his pilant follower, the hypnotised congregation of children to his pied piper - wherever he went - you would gladly follow.
You reached a smaller room in the back of the church, the warm lights lit up Boā€™s personal effects littered around the room. A guitar, piles of books in every corner, a scent that was so distinctly him you thought you might pass out from the strength of it. Clean and bright but with a lingering undertone of musk - a smell that you never wanted to forget.
Leaning back against the empty bookcase, its contents strewn around the room, it was almost as if the change in scenery prompted a sense of shame in you ā€œThis-this isnā€™t right, wonā€™t you - wonā€™t you lose your job, what the fuck are we doing?ā€ you shrank away from his embrace, feeling the fuzz from the wine trickling out of your system.
The heady thrill from moments passed ebbed away slightly as you observed your surroundings in an attempt to ground yourself. Noting the feel of the wood beneath your fingertips, the shape of the light fixtures around the room, attempting to bring yourself back to something resembling reality - or even sanity.
Boā€™s shoulders slumped, and he crossed the room to meet you where you stood. ā€œI-ā€ he started, words failing him but for a moment.
ā€œFuckā€ he whispered, fingers trailing along your exposed collarbone. ā€œI thought I was done with all this - with sex - withā€ the breath hitched in his throat ā€œwith loveā€ your insides squirmed at his use of the L word, the ragged breath eking out of your throat in response.
ā€œBut then you come along, thisā€¦this hurricane of light, and of life, and I felt - a certain kinship with you. Something deep.ā€ his words didnā€™t falter as his blue eyes met yours, the unwavering sincerity in them was hard to ignore, and even harder not to feel.
ā€œI dunno, Iā€™ve literally known you less than a day and I canā€™t promise a single thing to you, other than I want to see where this goes. I want to see where this goes so badly that my future at the church hangs in the balance.ā€ he sighed heavily and planted his palms on the back of a chair, ā€œYou probably donā€™t wanna hear all that, I get it if you wanna leave. Nothing softens a boner like the mention of something serious, right?ā€ he chuckled, backing away from you a little by his own admonition, using the hand that tickled your collarbone to rub it through his hair in frustration, a little nervous tick you had picked up on earlier in the day.
But instead of being turned off to his overflowing well of emotions, your heart fluttered madly in your chest, and right then and there you wanted nothing more than to explore this possibility, to embody that potential for him, for yourself.
You pressed away from the bookcase and edged toward him - placing your hands as high up on his chest as you could muster, and whispered ā€œLetā€™s see where this goesā€ pressing your swollen lips together he made a sound not unlike a growl as he bent down to meet your blushing kiss, and pressed you back into the bookcase. His arms came to take the weight off your thighs as he lifted you onto a shelf on the bookcase.
Your heels fell off your arched feet and clacked to the floor with an echo, Bo hastily swept them to one side aggressively as his body caged you in, engulfing you with his form.
He kissed you more slowly now, with more lingering sweetness than youā€™d ever known, his hands trailed down the bodice of your dress. He growled into your lips ā€œYou feel so goodā€ and you stifled back a chuckle.
ā€œT-this, I didnā€™t pick this, my sister picked the dress for todayā€ you admitted, feeling the heat creep up your neck and spread across your cheeks.
ā€œHonestly, youā€™d look good in a paper bag, honeyā€ he mused into the side of your throat as he placed soft, sweet kisses down your neck, and you were certain that he could feel your rapid heartbeat through your skin, betraying your excitement. Your face heated at the pet name, ā€œhoneyā€ - it rolled off his tongue like it was crafted by bees itself and the gravelly sound of his voice sent a shiver up your spine, so sweet - not unlike that sticky amber nectar.
His hands came to your thighs and he dripped yet more decadence into your ear
ā€œWhat do you want me to do to you?ā€
Your heart jolted at his words, and you bit back a clever remark ā€œOh, youā€™re a talker, are you?ā€ you felt his lips curl into a smile along your collarbone as he sank lower.
ā€œSure as hell I am, and I mean every damn word. Words without thoughts never to heaven goā€ he uttered in between kisses, his fingers bunching the puffy dress at your hips, and your brain whirred as you connected the quote to its author.
ā€œS-shakespeare?ā€ you uttered, somewhere between a gasp and a moan as his hands continued their eager movements.
ā€œMmhmā€ Bo mumbled, his arms wrapping tightly around your hips as he lifted you gracefully onto one of the higher shelves, earning a yelp from you. You were surprised at your sudden ascension, but eagerly pleased at your faces that were exactly level now. Your feet struggled for purchase on the lower shelves, dangling dangerously high off the ground. If it werenā€™t for him and the way his body anchored you to the shelves, the way he pressed into you so delightfully - you might have been scared of falling.
Maybe you did fall, but in a way you didnā€™t expect.
Seeing his features so much more clearly now, you drank in as much of him as you could.
If it was to only be tonight, this one time, you wanted to commit as much of him to memory as you could, etch as many of his features onto your mind as it would allow. Feel every touch and hear every word, remember them.
ā€œSpread ā€˜emā€ he uttered, mirroring your expression of pure wonderment, a blush pooling across his cheeks and down his neck as he noted your complete awe, returning it in kind.
Sighing as you parted your knees and he took his place between them, nestling in between your bare thighs, it took all you could not to grasp on to him for dear life.
He kissed you, your lips pulsating and blushing from all the kisses that preceded it - tender and swollen but no less deserving of the heat he imparted to them, the way his tongue rippled across the tender flesh where lip became mouth and mouth became tongue. Your bodies ebbed and flowed in a rhythm that could be considered slow, the need for exploration and tenderness outweighing the need for speed.
Still, you enjoyed the languid pace but you needed more. You wanted to see him, taste him, wrap your mouth around him.
Loosening your fingers from his hair your hands found the buckle of his belt and he quickly batted them away, uttering a ā€œNoā€.
Before you could think up a retort he dropped to his knees, looking up at you with those ocean blue eyes that caught the light of the lamps around the room, sparkling slightly as he whispered.
ā€œItā€™s been - a little while - for me. I have to, have to get you there first, if you wouldnā€™t mind?ā€ he grinned from between your thighs and the sight of him there made your cunt twinge with need. The softly tousled blond locks from your fingers ministrations, the way his eyes had a look of innocence twinned with devilish lust, the white collar peeking out on his thick neck. From this angle you could see the pulsating veins that surrounded it, and you made a mental note to bite them later.
His grin widened as you shuddered, his hands hiking up the puffy skirt of your dress, bunching it around your waist lewdly.
With every move he offered a fleeting glance up to you, paying careful attention to every blemish, placing errant kisses on your quivering knees. His fingers thick and warm as they traversed your thighs, travelling further toward the damning evidence of your need.
Eventually he found your underwear, surely soaked and dripping obscenely on the dark wood, but he smiled at the sight and whispered ā€œPleased, are we?ā€ your head lolled back toward the bookcase and hit the wood with a low thunk. You nodded so hard your head felt like it might fall off and he smirked again, placing a thick, wet open mouthed kiss on the saturated cotton.
He gracefully absolved you from the damning fabric, scrunching them into a ball and stuffing them into his back pocket. Your mind could barely register it. Every move he made.
He neared your aching pussy and inhaled deeply, whispering ā€œY-you smell so sweet, like honeyā€ his attention turned to your upper thighs - dangerously close to the place that was crying out for his rapt attention.
ā€œI could smell it on you before. Your bold, confident exterior couldnā€™t hide it, the sweet scent of your pussy, how I thought about nothing but devouring it as soon as you left - shitā€
His silken admission made you clench around nothing, your sensitivity through the roof - you felt a solitary drop of heated excitement slip from your folds. He smiled up at you, teeth buried in his bottom lip before his tongue came down to stop it in its tracks. You squealed with abandon and the muscles in your thighs tensed erratically seeing him perform such a lewd act.
ā€œOh, confessional was just the beginning, trust meā€ he whispered. Eyeing your quivering pussy - eager with anticipation at the oncoming storm.
ā€œForgive me Father, for I have sinnedā€ he whispered to himself, and you couldnā€™t help but join him in apologetic recompense - a sort of a jumbled erotic prayer - as his tongue laved at your entrance, slowly at first, and then faster - deeper. His skilled tongue came to your clit and lavished it with praise.
Your hands came up to grip the sides of the bookcase, holding on for dear life as his tongue whorled around your sensitive spot with relative ease, taking note of and repeating the motions that make your legs tense beside his ears, the movements that had you squealing and begging for release in no time.
Removing one of his hands from your thigh, you spied the pink blush that formed in the absence of his large paw, a memory of his grip on you. His eyes flit up to yours as he prodded at your entrance, surveying the sweaty, gripping heaving mess above him, and you could feel the smile that spread across his lips hotly against your cunt, prompting a needy buck from your hips.
Two impossibly thick, long fingers made their home inside you and began to crook with devastating precision. The wet sounds of his enjoyment pressed up against your most intimate parts only propelled you further to bliss.
Taking a brief break for breath, his wet lips and chin came to rest against your inner thigh ā€œI want you to fucking screamā€ he panted against the slick flesh, before he returned to work, angling his fingers just right, suckling, kissing and laving at your clit in the way he learnt drove you truly insane. He was a quick learner - that was for sure.
Your helpless welps echoed around the back room, unafraid of potential consequences of being found out you moaned even louder as he drove you toward your peak. Damning in its ferocity and sublime in its texture. You let it overcome you completely.
He soothed you down from the heights he took you to, offering soft, lazy kisses to the inside of your thighs. When your eyes could focus again you saw him, stood between your legs, his eyes devouring your blissed out state, lips licking the remnants of you off them. Savouring the taste of you so thoroughly.
Leaning toward you he kissed you - letting you taste yourself - and he was right, you tasted fucking divine.
He relieved you of the ugly pepto bismol dress youā€™d had on all day, and the cool of the air was a relief to your hot skin - salving the sting and the heat from moments prior.
ā€œFuckā€ Bo whispered, surveying your naked body in front of him - even with his eyes devouring you like that - you could never feel exposed in front of this man. Something about him comforted you to the core.
ā€œGod made you so fucking beautiful, so perfectā€ his hands trailed along the swell and peak of your breasts, tweaking the nipple gently as his tongue lapped up the remainder of you on his lips. ā€œFor meā€ he concluded, those words of postured ownership had you quivering deep inside again, ready for another round.
He let your hands wander to his belt now, allowing it. You unbuckled him and with a little help, let his underwear and trousers drop to the floor in a pool at his ankles.
Your serene afterglow was violently shouldered for a more gnawing, deep want in your belly as you saw his cock for the first time. Thick, veiny and straining hard at the vision of you in front of him. Undoubtedly the biggest youā€™d ever have the pleasure of seeing, of touching, of tasting. A thick well of saliva pooled in your mouth and it took all you had not to let it dribble out of your mouth obscenely like some cock hungry whore. But, maybe Bo just had this effect on you.
ā€œWhat is it honey? Tell me?ā€ Bo asked, one of his hands leaving your lolling thighs and grasping the girthy hardness protruding from him.
A beat went by, your throat making an odd croaking noise in place of the words you so desperately wanted to utter.
ā€œGod made you so beautiful, and-and what a shame it would be to waste itā€ you licked your lips, Boā€™s cock bobbing up and down in response.
A throaty groan sounded from Boā€™s throat as he replied ā€œY-yeah, what do you want to do, honey?ā€ his other hand firmly pressed into your thigh, hard enough to hurt.
ā€œI-I want to taste youā€ you whimpered. Feeling suddenly shy, you shook your head so that hair fell around your face, covering the pink shame that was glowing on your cheeks - the embarrassment of verbalising what you wanted, not enough to overcome the wanton need to do it.
ā€œL-let me taste you, pleaseā€ you repeated, biting your bottom lip with desperation.
Boā€™s mouth shaped a soft O as he digested your plea. One he was more than willing to oblige.
ā€œKneelā€ Bo whispered, and the breath caught in your throat at his command. ā€œWh-what?ā€ you asked, unsure if you had heard him correctly.
ā€œKneelā€ he repeated, clearer and louder this time, a resonant boom in his already deep voice, sending shockwaves through your body, down to your still dripping core.
He stood back from you, grabbing your wrists to assist in your descent, the beautiful blue of his eyes was lost to the black lust of his pupil - completely eclipsed by his desire.
Your knees were comforted by the haphazard pile of clothes at both of your feet, and you stared at the humongous cock in front of you, bobbing in front of your eyes.
ā€œReady to take communion, now-now that youā€™ve been blessed?ā€ he uttered, threading his fingers into the hair at the base of your neck. Your mind flew back to earlier that day, knelt in front of him in the church, his expression unreadable at the time, still filled the air with tension. Now, knelt in front of him with a different proposition, you were all the more willing to accept.
ā€œHow I fantasised about you getting to your knees in front of me, not in prayer, noā€ he shook his head quickly ā€œno, this is betterā€
Unsure how to start, your hand went to the base, and your tongue came out to lick a long line along the thick, pink head, Boā€™s breathing tightened above you. Diving into the deep end, you took in as much of him as you could. You wanted to feel the burn in your lungs, the way your mind swam with him, all too aware that youā€™d be gasping for air in no time. ā€œF-fuckā€ Bo choked, ā€œOhā€ he mumbled as you worked even harder to take all of him.
Wrapping your lips around him, his knees quivered as you tried to suck and lick every inch of him - but it was impossible. You did your best to take him as far into your mouth as you could, his sensitive head pressing near where your tonsils used to be, pushing down into your throat. You hazard a glance up at him and what you saw made your cunt and your heart quiver in unison.
You didnā€™t think he could look more beautiful, but as he stared down at you, eyes fixated on where your bodies met, teeth pressed harshly into his bottom lip, he proved you wrong. Unable to take more than a few seconds of eye contact he swung his head back and whispered soft obscenities to the church ceiling. His jawline carved a harsh line and you wanted to make him feel good. You want to make him lose it, returning the favour.
It was a kind of worship, the way you enveloped him inside your mouth, as much as you could. One hand jerked the base the other on the sharp jut of his hip, suddenly wishing you had more hands to grip onto him wherever there was flesh to do so. Your lips and tongue whispering a silent prayer on him.
You lost yourself in him, the way he grazed the back of your throat, the way you gagged hopelessly around him, and you began to wonder how he would fit elsewhere.
But before you could be lost entirely, he pulled you harshly off him, knock-kneed; he set you with shivering arms back onto the higher shelf of the bookcase, slipping around in the cool mess you had made previously.
ā€œNeed you, nowā€ he mumbled against your neck, and you felt him part your shaking thighs, and sheath himself between them. Somehow like heā€™d always been there, like he was meant to be there. Eagerly encompassed by your limbs, grabbing, wrapping around him so perfectly.
Without even thinking, the words slipped from your mouth and echoed around the room like a cough during a sermon. ā€œDo-do you have a condom?ā€
He pulled back slightly, a confused and slightly bewildered look on his face. It took a moment for the penny to drop, and you started giggling at your silly mistake. Of course he didnā€™t have a condom, he was a priest, for godā€™s sake. He joined you in your awkward chuckle for a few moments, before his eyes locked on yours with devastating solemnity.
You knew you didnā€™t have one - you were in the middle of a dry spell so arid that the desert would be jealous. Any you did have would have gone way past their expiry date, anyway.
But you were on birth control, had been for years, to help with your depression and awful mood swings, and so you decided then and there - that he was worth the risk.
ā€œOh, fuck itā€ you whispered and pulled Boā€™s clothed shoulders toward you. You, completely naked and his bottom half bare to the elements, the only saving grace was Boā€™s black shirt, rolled up to his forearms, that white collar peeking at you every now and again. Watching your every move, and damning you both for it.
ā€œY-you want this?ā€ he growled into your ear, as the hard tip of his cock slipped through your folds and teased your entrance.
ā€œYes, fuck, please, I want youā€ you answered, not sure how long you could hold off without resorting to begging.
ā€œThen youā€™ll have meā€ he replied, using his hand to guide himself into you. The head popped in and you released a small mewl at how big he felt - and you knew he wasnā€™t even all the way in, yet.
Your panting breaths began to sync up as he pushed further and further into you. You swapped pants for deep lingering breaths that helped you ease the feel of the stretch, his size so unlike anyone you had slept with before. To take your mind off the pressure, Bo placed soft nibbles and licks at the base of your neck, focusing in on the sensitive end of your collarbone, and your heels instinctively pressed into his back as he finally reached the hilt.
ā€œOh, jesusā€ you whispered, and Bo replied with a strangled moan filled with sarcasm ā€œSuch a blasphemer, honeyā€ he gibed ā€œNo, itā€™s just meā€ - You wanted to laugh, but the skin of your forehead was scrunched in protest at the heft of him inside you - how he filled you to the brim.
Your lips joined in blissful union as he settled inside you, slow and gentle, your hands found the nape of his neck and you dragged your fingertips through his hair, savouring that generous full feeling, the calm before the storm.
ā€œYou feel so fucking good, all wrapped around me like this,ā€ he grunted, and you wished your limbs were longer so that they could more perfectly encompass him. He gladly took up the slack as his hand came to your leg, pulling you further into him, your heels digging into his lower back for dear life.
You could only moan in response as he started to move, and he continued, ā€œYou like that, me talking dirty to you like this?ā€ you nodded, slack jawed as your cunt clenched involuntarily around his length, earning an involuntary buck from Boā€™s hips and a snarl from his lips. He stopped for a second and hissed through gritted teethā€ Ooh, careful now, remember, itā€™s been a while for meā€.
You were so close you saw the sweat beading on his forehead, errant strands of blond hair came to frame his face, casting glorious shadows onto every plane of his beautiful features as he started to move again. Tilting your head to press light kisses into his neck you remember the promise you made to yourself before - seeing that thick tendon pressing through his skin you attached your lips firmly to it, and sucked lazily as he started to move.
Sufficiently pleased with the marks that were sure to bloom alongside that clerical collar, you pulled apart briefly.
He looked down to where your bodies met and then firmly planted his gaze on you, offering you a tiny kiss on the nose as he picked up the pace. A chorus of your joint moans and groans filled and echoed around the room, the acoustics offering you an almost instant playback, twinned with the slick feeling of him between your folds and the way his mesmerising blue eyes almost never left yours, was enough to send you to heaven.
Or close enough, as his thrusts got deeper and he brought his face to your neck, burying it in the soft skin and plying it with the odd kiss in between huffs and puffs.
ā€œIā€™m - Iā€™m so closeā€ you whimpered, and you felt his fingertips dig into the flesh of your thighs, you saw his brow furrow at the concentration, as he pushed you closer and closer to the divinity that you so desperately sought. He fucked you through the crashing waves of your orgasm, each pulse more glorious than the last, and through the haze you saw his face relax as he let himself go.
ā€œIā€™m gonna, Iā€™m gonna, Iā€™m gonnaā€ he groaned into your neck, pulling back and pressing his sweaty forehead into yours as he thrashed through the pleasure rolling over him, and spilled into you.
He looked so gorgeous, so spent, the silken sheen of sweat on his skin positively glowed, and you noticed beautiful details you hadnā€™t noticed before. A delicate scar on his right cheek, the curve of his nose and the way his eyelashes grew, he was so much more beautiful up close.
ā€œI-I told youā€¦ Iā€™d show youā€¦Godā€ he whispered, the hot pink of his cheeks darkening even in the ebbing of your afterglow.
You giggled at his joke, and he shuddered as he pulled himself from you - your cunt throbbed from the loss, youā€™d keep him there all night - if you could.
But the sanguine bubble couldnā€™t last all night, and it burst, right as your eyes focused on the window, or rather, what lay beyond it.
An icy poison dripped through your veins as you saw faintly through the window, a familiar set of eyes, dark curly brown hairā€¦Derek.
You squealed in shock, seeing your brother in law of all people spying on you through the stained glass of the church window.
Bo whipped around in surprise, barely catching sight of Derek before he had run off into the night.
ā€œWh-what the fuckā€ you whispered, hands instinctively coming up to protect your modesty - although how long Derek had been standing there determined how much of it actually remained.
ā€œWho-who was that?ā€ Bo said, walking toward the window in a vain attempt to glean any more information.
ā€œMy prick of a brother in law, Derek, he was here today, it was his daughter you were baptisingā€ you said, the blissful warm cocoon of your afterglow being hastily cast aside in favour of embarrassment, disgust and shame.
ā€œRightā€ Bo said, and you could hear the defeat in his voice.
ā€œI-Iā€™m sorry, Bo. F-fatherā€ you corrected yourself, dropping down to the ground and picking up the bedraggled remnants of your clothing.
ā€œI shouldnā€™t have come here, it was selfish, I was drinking, Iā€¦ā€
Bo remained in stoic silence as you dressed, kindly turning away as you did so, keen to offer you some semblance of respect.
ā€œI should go. Fuck. If this goes badly for you, please, just blame it all on me. I had no right doing this, I tempted you, I-ā€
ā€œLet me stop you right thereā€ he interjected, finally turning around when he knew you were decent again, but there was nothing decent about the smell of fresh sex that hung in the air, on your lips, on his tongue. It filled every nook and cranny of that small room, and yet you both felt the sickening pool of guilt bubble and spit in your stomach.
ā€œYou came here tonight, but I let you in, I led you into the confessional, I t-touched myself to the admittance of your sins, and I never want you to blame yourself for any of this, we were both complicit in this, both to blame, please do not think you have to shoulder this responsibility alone, because that would be a sham, and I for one am not keen to live a lieā€
You baulked, the sour fizzing in your stomach continuing its assault on your innards. You should have known he wouldnā€™t pick you - you, the simpering harlot that bummed a smoke off him after a baptism. You, the desperate piece of shit, so conceited to drunkenly come and try to fuck a priest in the middle of the night - and you got what you wanted, you always got what you wanted, you were used to it by now. Spoilt little brat.
How could you possibly be so deluded by the idea that he would choose you over God? You gave him good pussy, but God could give him so much more - and you had potentially tarnished that, ruined his chances in this life, and the next.
ā€œI-I canā€™t do this, and youā€™ve made me realise, and for that Iā€™ll be eternally gratefulā€ he said, moving toward you, but you shrunk away like a tortured animal, afraid of what heā€™d say next, what heā€™d do next.
ā€œY-youā€™re welcomeā€ you spat, while stuffing your feet into the heels, and attempting to walk in the direction that you had come in. Knowing that he had just needed a hole, a release, and you were so desperate to be filled that you eschewed any and all self respect to get your fix, and supply him his.
You took the first step and your thighs protested, the aggression of the last hour or so had turned your legs to jelly, but you were dead set on leaving - you couldnā€™t hear another word come out of his beautiful mouth, another sweeping rejection that would leave you mortally wounded, twitching on the ground from his dismissal.
You felt the hot, shameful slick of his orgasm spill from between your thighs, slowly dripping out of you as you tried to walk.
ā€œWh-where are you going?ā€ he questioned, pulling on his trousers sloppily and following you.
ā€œIā€™d really appreciate it if you didnā€™t say anything else, and just let me out, because I really donā€™t wanna hear any more about -ā€
He grabbed your wrist, and you struggled to break free, as he said ā€œWhat are you talking about?ā€ his brow furrowed in frustration, his eyes soft, yet worried.
ā€œI was so stupid to think that I couldā€¦ā€ you started, far too embarrassed to continue, and he let your wrist go gently.
ā€œSo selfish, to make you choose between your god andā€¦ā€ you gestured loosely to yourself, tears threatening to burst from their banks, filling your eyes with salty guilt.
ā€œItā€™s not that simpleā€ he conceded, shaking his head.
ā€œI-I knowā€ you spluttered between cries, turning away from him, unable to take his eyes on you a minute longer.
ā€œI donā€™t know whatā€™s going to happen now, but I do know how I feel,ā€ he said, careful to maintain the distance between you, his eyes flitting between you and the door. He sensed that you wanted to run, and wanted to prevent it.
ā€œAnd I know this is probably fucking stupid, and Iā€™ve worked hard to get here, these past few years, given up everything I thought I liked, for a simpler way of life that I thought I needed.ā€
Your tears continued to flow, but you managed to rein in the heaving of your chest as you listened to him speak, your back still turned to him, unable to face him, and the reality of the situation.
ā€œWhat today has taught me is that nothing can replace love, the blooming of it between two people, or the sunshine that he bestows upon us every day, love is many different things, but itā€™s also everything, to me.ā€
Secretly you wished heā€™d stop talking, just to go and unlock the door and leave you to wander the streets for a taxi to come by, but he continued.
ā€œAnd I know I only met you a few hours ago, but shit, if this job restricts me and stops me from doing something that feels so right, feels like thisā€ his fingers brush up against the ones not stuffed into your mouth ā€œI donā€™t want to be a part of it any moreā€
His words hit you like a tonne of bricks, and you hazard a look over your shoulder, looking up at the tall man across from you. Hair standing up at odd angles from your tumultuous lovemaking, lips pursed and tears brimming the edges of his own eyes.
ā€œWh-what?ā€ you asked, not quite believing what you were hearing.
ā€œIf being a priest means that I canā€™t be with you, canā€™t love you, maybe I donā€™t want to be one anymoreā€ he said, a solitary tear fell from his eye and down his face. He shuddered as he swallowed, and stepped towards you.
ā€œThereā€™s an alternate universe out there somewhere, where you and I - weā€™re madly in love, we have a dog and a nice house and a nice life, itā€™s simple, itā€™s easy. I never became a priest, and our life is fucking perfect.ā€ he paused, desperately trying to catch your eye ā€œBut I donā€™t want that for us, I want this, whateverā€™s happening right now. I want to work hard, I want the suffering and I want the adversary. Call me selfish, but I want whatever it is with you, even if itā€™s a little fucked. I want to be your satellite, Iā€™ll-Iā€™ll revolve around youā€
Tears morphed from desperation to joy, to whatever this feeling was that filled you, made you feel weightless.
ā€œWhat Iā€™m saying is, I want to give you years,ā€ he grasped onto the now motionless fingers by your side, engulfing your hand completely, the other coming to brush a wayward strand of hair behind your ear. ā€œIf-if youā€™d let me, I will give you yearsā€ he whispered, pulling you closer.
ā€œWill you let me?ā€ he asked, lips inches from your own.
Your mind spun on its axis, his words penetrating your brain, your heart. Your eyes focusing on the man in front of you: free perhaps, no longer a slave to his piety. The eddying storm was raging inside you, and you knew just what to say to soothe it.
ā€œY-yesā€ you conceded, he pressed his lips to yours, and the swirling began to steady, you felt your feet hit the ground as gravity began to have its hold on you once again.
Finally, he parted from you and whispered ā€œWhatever happens, I know heā€™ll forgive meā€ his eyes flit up to the ceiling ā€œBecause he made you, and he knows how fucking awesome you are. Hell, maybe he even created you for me, knew just what I neededā€ His thumbs came to swipe away any remaining tears and you smiled at his words, the sincerity and sweetness behind them were impossible to ignore.
As you drank in his smile, you were blessed by that beautiful feeling, one that had been eluding you for quite some time now: hope.
It was hope you saw in his eyes and hope you tasted on his lips, you knew that you needed this: and if there was a god, maybe he had answered your prayers, after all.
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softhe4rted Ā· 2 years
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harvest!! be as lengthy as you want!! <3
harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?
uuuuh I donā€™t think I have a particular character that Iā€™ve felt super connected with, but when watching Fleabag I identified with Claire. Iā€™m pretty sure sheā€™s a stressed earth sign and lots of my internal struggles concerning my own stress and feelings resonated with the way she dealt with hers. Probably not a healthy representation lol but she has a special place in my heart (ā€˜:
Also not a fictional character but Emily Dickinsonā€™s representation on the Dickinson tv show really really gets me. That is one person that I feel truly identified with. Kinda insane, kinda lonely, always with her head somewhere else. Love her so much šŸ„ŗ
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