Okay but you know what could really destroy Snow?
Seeing Lucy Gray slowly starting to fall out of love with him. Lucy Gray knowing him so well she starts to be repulsed by him. The pain and disdain and the masks she has to wear (expecially if they are in the Capitol and she depends on him) in order to survive... With him because she has no other option. Lucy Gray, who put trust above everything, slowly starting to lie to his face, to hyde the fear and the pain behind fake smiles to make him happy with her.
And he will see this. He will see because, as always, as they are connected by the stars, as they are both performers, he can read her as she can read him. He can see her pulling back from their love story.
So. He may think that he want her to be caged, because so he can feel safe. But in reality he can not. In reality, he needs her to choose him. Everyday. They have to be a team. They have to be alone against the world (even if that means they have to perform to find a place in that world). He has to know, to feel sure, to feel warm about the fact that his Lucy Gray wanted him and wanted to be with him in the same way he wanted to be with her.
He has to be sure they truly love each others.
Or he is going to be insane. After all, he already did. One trace of doubt - he lost it. He lost it so bad.
But betrayal in a so giant way is a thing; a thing that set him in a rage, that make him spiraling without control and do despicable things in a matter or seconds.
Slowly see your only love slowly fade away? This is another type of pain who can drive one mad in a more subtle way, because he still had hope he can just fix things and surerly he will do it. Just a little time. Just a little patiente. He will do it. But in reality she fade. More and more far away. And panic arise, day by day.
So yeah, Coriolanus Snow was a boy in love, and as a boy in love (the first time I must add) wanted to cage her loved one, to control her. It's normal to feel this way when you love someone, because you want the other one to love you the same. But it's a passing thought, not a real one, because physical possesion doesn't mean owning someone's feelings, and he knew this. Deep down he knew. And he wants Lucy Gray's love above everything else.
Seeing her simply perform their love story to him will be too much.
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If I Should Stay
Part 1 | . . . | Part 50 | Part 51 | Part 52
El decides to help, so Steve gets the ingredients out, measures them into a bowl, and lets her mix them together as he gets out the waffle iron. “Y’want any, Eds?” Steve asks. “Al? Rob?”
“Only if it’s easy,” Eddie says. “I’m good with just your toast if you want waffles instead.”
Robin gasps. “Don’t you dare take the toast from me.”
Eddie blinks. “Waffles are bread too, though-?”
“Not the same,” Steve and Robin say at the same time. Steve chuckles. “Robbie gets the toast, Eddie gets waffles. Alli?”
“Sure, I’ll take a waffle or two,” she agrees, grinning at him.
Steve nods, mentally calculates, sighs, and gets the flour back out. “I think we might need a bigger bowl, Ellie.”
“Oh,” she says, and stops stirring, looking at him with wide eyes. “Where are they?”
He smiles and ruffles her hair. “Nah, I’ve got it. Go ahead and keep mixing for me, ‘kay?”
“M’kay,” she agrees easily.
“Steve,” Eddie says suddenly, teasingly. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Steve looks at the ingredients spread out on the counter and frowns. “What?”
“Chocolate chips.”
Steve sighs, hangs his head, and trudges to the pantry to grab the bag. He opens it and throws one at Eddie. “For being annoying,” he says, winking at Eddie before turning away, snickering when Eddie yelps indignantly.
El giggles, watching them, and Steve wants to bottle the sound so he can always come right back to this moment. This is my memory, he suddenly realizes, then turns to his friends and sisters. “It can help if you have a happy memory to go hide in,” he says quietly. “If Vecna comes after you. He’s pain and wrong and bad. And if none of that exists in your happy memory, then you’ll know the second he’s in your head.”
El looks up at him curiously. “What’s your happy memory?”
“Right now,” he murmurs, pulling her into a hug and ruffling her hair. “I had a different one, before, and you can have more than one, but… yeah. This is it.”
El’s quiet for a moment before she responds. “Me too, I think.”
Steve pulls her into a proper hug and kisses the top of her head. “This is it,” he murmurs. “We’re ending it today. Remember, Ellie, we’ve got you. You’re not alone, you have all of us to help. Okay?”
“Okay,” she says, then buries her face in his chest. “‘M still scared, though.”
“Y’wanna know something?” He whispers, stroking her hair. “Me too. I’m kinda really scared. But I know we can do it.”
“Okay,” she agrees, then pulls back to look at him. “Can I have chocolate chips in my waffles?”
He laughs and ruffles her hair. “‘Course you can, Ellie. I’ll make you an extra-chocolatey one, even.”
Eddie leans forward with a leer. “Do I get an extra chocolatey one?”
Steve look him over for a second, then turns back to the batter. “You’ll get something later.”
It’s silent for a second before Eddie squeaks out, “Oh.”
El looks at him, then looks quizzically at Steve. “What does he get later? Why is he so red?”
Steve chuckles. “If you remember this when I get back to my time, I’ll tell you. Deal?”
“Deal,” she nods, then looks at the chocolate chips. “Do we add those in now?”
Steve looks at the batter and hums. “I’d say so,” he says, turning the waffle iron on. “As many as you want.”
He can’t help but think through their plan as he waits for the waffles to cook. “Max is still in California, right?” He asks Robin quietly. “We’ll have to make sure the boys make friends with her.”
Robin hums. “Won’t they anyways? They find out about her because of her high score at the arcade, right?”
Steve grins at her. “Don’t let them fool you. They were enemies at first.”
Robin gasps and leans forward like it’s important gossip. Steve thinks this is part of the reason she’s his soulmate. “Talk. Now.”
He shrugs. “Not much to tell, I think.” He takes a cooked waffle out of the iron and pours more batter in. “Max kinda hated them at first. Bitchy California attitude, y’know? And they’re weirdos who decided to follow her around.”
Robin snorts. “Definitely your kids.”
He gently pops her leg with a towel. “Shuddup. I’m pretty sure the friendship only happened ‘cause of freaky Upside Down stuff, but now you can’t imagine the Party without her, right?”
Robin chews her lip. “Yeah. Y’know what I think I’m gonna miss a little? Scoops Troop.”
Steve grins crookedly at her. “You’re the only person I’d get back in that uniform for, Robbie.”
“Aww,” she says, pretending to swoon while holding her heart.
“Uniform?” Eddie interjects.
Steve groans. “I should’ve never said anything. In a couple of years there’s a mall built, called Starcourt. I told you about the Russians, right? That’s the mall they were under. And in that mall was a nautical-themed ice cream shop.”
“Complete with costumes,” Robin chimes in. “Absolutely obscene.”
“It was terrible,” Steve agreed. “We measured, right? Your shorts were longer than mine?”
Robin laughs. “I forgot we did that!”
“And, uh.” Eddie pauses. “You wouldn’t happen to have that uniform still, would you?”
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