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tricksters-captain · 3 years

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Bucky Barnes Imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 1

AN: My Marvel obsession has been lying dormant since Endgame finished but Wandavision and Falcon and Winter Soldier have brought it back to life.... This is going to be a series based off the show. Kind of like my ‘Oh Dear’ fic, it’s the series with an added characters and story lines.

Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.

In this chapter: You reunite with Sam and Bucky (Based on S1 EP2)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 6,883

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 2, strong language, violence.

You and Bucky had always been close.

You were close with Steve before Bucky joined the avengers and you fought on Steve’s side during the small civil war between the avengers.

Steve was your best friend and Sam always knew how to make you smile but there was something about Bucky that was different to the rest of the avengers.

You had spent some time in Wakanda with Bucky at Steve’s request and you two had always fought side by side and it crushed Steve when you both taken during the blip and he wasn't.

When you returned, you were thrust back into battle almost immediately. The final fight against Thanos which resulted in you losing Tony and then Steve.

Nothing seemed to matter except the fact you had been gone for 5 whole years. You had missed 5 whole years with your friends and family. They had changed whilst you were gone and you came back the same as you left.

When Steve returned the infinity stones, he hadn’t given you warning that he wasn’t coming back the same age he was going in but he had warned Bucky. They had spoken about it before apparently and after everything, you felt kind of betrayed.

You knew you’d never understand Steve’s choice but it was his choice. You were just upset Bucky didn’t warn you.

You returned to your home town after that day.

You returned to find some people had changed and some hadn’t but you knew you wanted to be around and spend time with them.

After all the years fighting for the avengers and only calling every once in a blue moon. It seemed to finally dawn on you that you should spend time with them whilst you still could.

However, that only lasted around 6 months before you found yourself answering a phone call from Sam.

You were at a birthday party for one of your old school friend’s daughters when you felt your phone go off.

You put down one of the little girls who had be asking you a hundred questions about being apart of the avengers and excused yourself from the party.

“Tell me why I got an awful feeling when I saw your caller ID come up on my phone.” You answered, folding your free hand under your arm as you leant against the wall.

“It’s cause your subconscious is reminding you about that one time you said no when I asked you out on a date and you regret that now.” Sam’s voice instantly made you crack a smile.

“Or maybe it’s because every time I get a call from you it’s to do with the world ending or something worse.” You shot back.

“It’s good to hear your voice too.” Sam chuckled at your comment before he had responded.

“So what’s going on? I haven’t heard much from you in months.” You asked.

“That’s around the time you up and left us for the old way of living.” Sam reminded you that you were the one that decided to go cold agent and return home.

“There isn’t anything wrong with a little quiet.” You told him as you looked back through the window to the children that were the opposite of quiet.

“No there isn't.” Sam agreed, “However, I got a situation here at the moment that I could really use your help with.”

“I guess it’s a bit bigger than the usual military op or you wouldn’t be calling?” You frowned. You were in the loop enough to know Sam had been apart of the airforce these past 6 months and had been taking part in frequent missions but nothing that concerned you.

“I’m sending you over the details now. I’d appreciate it if you could come.” Sam sent you through a file and you pulled your phone away from your ear to open it.

“You don’t need to convince me, Sam. I’ll be there since I know you wouldn’t ask unless it was serious.” You answered honestly.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you soon then.” You could practically hear Sam’s smirk through the phone.

“Depends how quick I can get a bag together and your jet can get me to you.” You told him as you picked up your jacket from the coat rack.

“Well it’s no Red Wing but it’s pretty fast.” Sam stated. “Oh and (Y/n)... You haven’t seen the news in the past hour or so, have you?”

“No? Why?” You frowned at the hesitation in Sam’s voice.

“Just... take a look.” Sam told you before you ended the call.

You opened up the news on your phone and what you saw made your mouth go dry and your stomach drop.

‘JOHN WALKER; NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA’

You felt an anger rise up in you as you watched the wannabe waltz onto screen with Steve’s shield in his paws.

When Sam gave up the shield, you didn’t know how to feel at first but now... now you weren’t surprised Sam didn’t elaborate on what he wanted you to see.

You said your apologies and your goodbyes pretty swiftly and you had already stashed an emergency bag ready to go under your bed so you were soon on your way.

It didn’t take terribly long to get to the air base where Sam was waiting for you.

“Who the hell is this guy and why is he calling himself the new Captain America?”

“Nice to see you too.” Sam wasn’t surprised at the attitude once you stepped off the plane.

“Sam, first you call me up to help deal with this wannabe terrorist group and now I just find out that Steve’s shield, which you gave up, is being held by some wannabe superhero.” You dumped your bag on the floor as you closed the gap between you and Sam.

“Trust me, I’m not happy about it either and I knew nothin about it but we have bigger fish to fry right now so can we cut the dramatic and get to actually saying hello?” Sam stared down at you with his hands on his hips.

You sighed and gave in.

You wrapped your arms around the man and hugged him warmly.

“I’m sorry. I just––”

“–I know.” Sam didn’t need your apology. He understood how you were feeling. You both loved Steve so much.

“Miss (Y/N)(Y/L/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you.” A voice brought your attention away from Sam to a man approaching you both.

“(Y/n), Torres. Torres, (Y/n).” Sam introduced you to the uniformed man and you shook his hand politely.

“Nice to meet you.” You weren’t sure if you had gotten used to the way most civilians looked at you after you became apart of the avengers. When you joined you didn’t realise becoming famous would be apart of the gig.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but Miss (Y/L/N) has to come with me to get logged into the clearance system and sort out a couple things.” Torres pointed over his shoulder as he explained.

“And by that he means sign an autograph for his kid sister.” Sam teased the man.

“What?” Torres’ cheeks tinged pink. “No!”

“It’s alright. Lead the way.” You picked up your bag and sent a quick smile to Sam before turning back to Torres. “Oh and you can call me (Y/n) by the way.”

It didn’t take too long for Torres to fill you in on Sam’s plan for the mission as he logged in a few details so you could have clearance around the airbase.

You did end up signing an autograph after a little tiptoeing around the question and then by the time you walked back out into the open you spotted someone you hadn’t expected to see.

It was Bucky.

“Looking good for a senior citizen.” You spoke up as you approached Sam and Bucky.

Bucky had his back to you but the sound of your voice soon paused his conversation with Sam and he spun around.

“Hey Buck.” You smiled but you couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous. “Long time no see.”

“(Y/n).” Bucky stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you.

You chuckled at his tight embrace but hugged him back just as tight all the same.

“You, uh, you look good.” Bucky cleared his throat as he pulled away from you.

“If you’ll excuse us, Casanova, we got places to be.” Sam tried to pull you away from Bucky but Bucky only followed.

“I’m coming with you.” Bucky announced.

“No, you’re not!” Sam argued.

You hadn’t missed the men’s bickering...

In spite of Sam’s protest, Bucky ended up on the flight anyway.

“So how’s it been away from the Avengers?” Bucky asked you as you both prepared for the mission.

Sam was up with Torres in the cockpit so you and Bucky were alone for the first time since you saw each other.

“It’s been okay. Spending time at home. Doing non-hero regular folk stuff.” You chuckled weakly as you pulled off your sweater. Bucky’s eyes fell to your chest as you had only wore a vest underneath. You felt your cheeks burn as you pretended not to notice.

“Uh, same.” Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke.. “Been strange without you around.”

“Buck, you know I needed time away from everything. From Sam, from you... After Steve, I...” You let your words drop away.

There was a short silence before Bucky decided to change the subject.

“I’ve been seeing a therapist. Court mandated. She’s got me doing this whole redemption thing. Contacting people in my past. Making things right.”

“And how’s that going for you?” You couldn’t help but smirk slightly at the idea of Bucky forcing himself to face his past at the request of a therapist.

“Well I have three rules I’m meant to stick to and let’s say I’m not exactly following them closely.” Bucky admitted as he folded his hoodie.

“Does your therapist know that?” You cocked an eyebrow at the man with a light amused expression.

“What do you think.” Bucky smirked back at you.

“Be careful. I might tell on you.” You sighed playfully.

“You’re actually on the list.” Bucky suddenly confessed. “I wanted to make things right after...” Bucky paused for a moment. “...After Steve. I should have warned you. Should have told you the truth.”

“Bucky.” You stopped him. “It’s okay. Steve made a choice and he chose to talk to you about it. You’re his best friend and the only other person on the team who could’ve really understood why he did what he did. I’m not holding it against you.”

“I’m still sorry.” Bucky looked you in the eyes as he spoke, “You were with him for so long when I wasn’t around. You should’ve got a real warning.”

“Thanks Buck.” You pressed your lips into a brief sad smile before looking down at your boots.

“I’ve really missed you, (Y/n).” Bucky uttered.

“I really missed you too.” You stopped tying your lace to look up at the man.

His short hair had really revealed his face and you couldn’t help but notice every part of it. The lines by his eyes when he smiled, the curve of his lips, the shadow that was just coming on.

You straightened up and stepped towards the man.

“I like the new haircut by the way.” You reached up and let your fingers brush the top of his forehead. “Makes you look almost like a civilian.”

Bucky couldn’t help but feel his body tense under your touch.

“You look tired though.” You let your hand drop down to his cheek. “Not been sleeping well?”

Bucky forced himself to move away from your touch.

“Bad dreams.” Bucky murmured.

“I figured therapy might have been helping you with those.” You frowned, “I remember sharing wake up duty with Steve like it was yesterday.”

“Every time it was your turn you’d make hot coco.” Bucky reminded you. It brought back images of you and Bucky sat in a small kitchen drinking hot chocolate that you had made despite Bucky’s insisting that he didn’t want any.

“Seems like a lifetime ago.” You smiled but the memories only made you feel dismal. It seemed those were simpler times. Steve was still around, at least.

Bucky handed you your jacket in the silence and you took it gratefully.

“I’m not interrupting something, am I?” Sam said rather loudly as he climbed down the ladder.

“No, we were just getting ready which is what you should be doing.” You picked up Sam’s bag and tossed it to him which he caught effortlessly. “I’m going to check a few things with Torres. Try not to kill each other whilst I’m gone.”

Bucky watched you climb the ladder up to the cockpit and Sam watched Bucky.

“I’ll never understand why you won’t just shoot your shot with the girl.” Sam shook his head as he opened his duffle.

“Shoot my what?” Bucky glared over at the man with confusion clear in his eyes.

“Your shot, man. (Y/n) has clearly been in love with you since Steve dragged your ass onto the team. What she sees in you compared to this, I’ll never understand but she clearly sees something.” Sam had gestured to himself when he spoke but Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe instead of talking about (Y/n), you should actually tell me what the plan is?” Bucky suggested as he zipped up his jacket securely.

“How about you stop avoiding your feelings?” Sam retorted which made Bucky shut up and sit down.

“I’m not avoiding my feelings.” Bucky grumbled as he glared at the man.

“Yeah right.” Sam scoffed, shaking his head as he started to change.

You didn’t return to the boys until you were approaching the drop off.

“(Y/n), you’ll be out first.” Torres explained as you put in your ear piece, trying your hardest to ignore Bucky and Sam starring daggers at each other behind you.

“Great. See you on the ground, fellas.” You jumped from the aircraft just as you heard Bucky ask what the plan was in your earpiece.

You had to jump earlier then the men since you were approaching the building from another angle but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear them bicker still on the aircraft.

When you reached the warehouse, you remained hidden in the trees. You watched several people start to load two trucks with large boxes.

“You’re doing the staring thing again. They’re in there.” You heard Sam’s voice in your earpiece. He must have been talking to Bucky inside the warehouse.

“Where’s the guy?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. I think they’re smuggling weapons, though.” Sam responded before you could.

“Well, I think you could be right.” Bucky agreed with a passive aggressive tone. “But there’s only one way to find out. I see a clear path. I say we take it.”

“We’re not assassins.” Sam argued with Bucky.

“I’ll see you inside or not.” Bucky must've walked away from what you could hear.

“Hey, come on, man. I’m just messing with you! Come back.” You could practically see Sam’s smile in your head.

“If you guys are done, I have a visual on the targets. They’re loading up two red trucks.”

“We’re moving up now.” Bucky replied to you.

“Look at you. All stealthy.” Sam was teasing him. “A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther.”

“It’s actually White Wolf.” Bucky corrected him and Sam’s reaction almost made you laugh out loud.

You tried to move closer to the trucks to see exactly what was going inside but it was risky with the group constantly checking around them.

“All right, I’m inside. Therefore, way ahead of you. It’s not great, but very doable.” Bucky’s voice came up again. “Hello. How are you?” Bucky sounded irritated. Sam must've snuck up on him.

“Good. What did I miss? Nothing.” Sam whispered back.

“All right, let’s go.” Bucky commanded but Sam stopped him.

“No, wait.”

“I got a vibranium arm. I can take them.” Bucky held up his arm as he fought against Sam’s halt.

“And I can fly. Who gives a shit?” Sam muttered. “Wait. I want to see where they’re going.”

“Guys I may not be in the same location as you but I can hear everything you’re saying so quick the arguing” You whispered lowly as you kept your eyes trained on the trucks.

You tried to zone out the boys bickering as you crept forward. A crashing noise from inside the warehouse made you jump back and hide as the flash smasher members all stopped and looked.

“Be careful.” You hissed at the both of them.

“It wasn’t my fault.” Bucky tried to defend himself but frankly you didn't care. The trucks were staring to close up and their engines switched on.

You watched the people pile into the trucks and you dived over, taking hold of the backdoors and clinging on.

“They have a hostage.” Sam told you as the trucks drove off with you attached.

“Then get moving.” You commanded. You pulled open the door you were hanging to and opened it.

“No sight of a hostage in here.” You informed Sam as you looked around. “Just boxes of vaccines.”

“I found her.” Bucky must've gotten inside the other truck. “Hi. You okay?” Bucky’s voice was then followed by a crashing sound.

However, you had your own problems...

You heard a loud bang behind you and you turned to see two men at the end of the truck. They both had masks on.

“Cute masks.” You taunted them before they charged at you.

You threw three knives at them, two managed to hit one of the men in the thigh and chest but the second man had knocked the third one away.

You went to attack the uninjured one first as he drew closer, you punched him but he was strong. He didn’t even flinch.

You felt a small panic in your chest as you started to fight. He was taking moves that would usually floor someone like he was being attacked by a pillow.

You managed to get him to the ground by wrapping your thighs around his neck and flipping him over you before you threw another knife at the injured soldier. He seemed to retreat, climbing out of the truck and onto the roof.

“Could use some back up, Sam!” You called out as you followed.

You climbed up onto the roof and the first soldier chased after you. The injured one grabbed hold of Bucky along with a third guy and so you were left with the big one.

You heard Redwing shooting at the roof before you saw it but a redheaded female smashed it in half like it was but a plastic toy.

With that, Sam finally swooped in and started throwing punches.

He was thrown to the other roof as you continued to fight your own battle. You were getting tired and his punches seemed to only be getting stronger and more painful each time.

You pulled out another knife but he grabbed your wrist and squeezed. You couldn’t help but cry out at the pressure, you dropped it before he could break your wrist.

Then suddenly a helicopter appeared from what seemed like nowhere. Cap’s shield bounced off one of Sam’s attackers as two new bodies joined the fight.

The distraction allowed you to kick your attacker off the truck and start to help Bucky.

“Sam, John Walker; Captain America.”

“Lemar Hoskins.”

“Looks like you guys could use some help.” Walker and his sidekick introduced themselves.

A surge of rage from the introduction of ‘Captain America’ helped you regain some adrenaline. You turned and started to fight once again.

You let yourself become distracted as Bucky fell from the side of the truck which allowed one of the guys to send you off the truck too.

Sam was quick to fall back with his suit and grab you before you hit the concrete road. However, the impact of him grabbing you did leave you winded.

“Bucky.” You wheezed as the man settled you on the side of the road.

Sam flew up and chased after the trucks.

You took a moment, wincing at your aching body before you rose to your feet and took off in their direction.

You couldn’t catch up to the trucks but it didn’t take long to find Bucky and Sam once you spotted they were both coming out of a field.

“If someone told me I’d be fighting a whole bunch of super soldiers today I would’ve wore my nice pants.” You stated as you approached the two men.

“We knew they were strong but not like this.” Sam defended himself from your anger.

“One of those guys took a knife to the chest and could still walk away.” You threw your arms up as you informed him. This was so much worse than the documents had described.

“It’s going to take a lot more than just a knife to stop these guys.” Bucky’s eyes seemed to carry a storm as he thought.

“How can this be possible? I thought the super soldier serum was gone. What happened in Siberia was supposed to have put an end to it all.” You remembered the failed super soldiers as clear as day.

“We know about as much as you, (Y/n). Unless you tried to, you know, your weird seeing thing?” Sam asked.

“No. It takes it out of me and I can’t do it whilst I’m trying to fight for my life so.” You shook your head as you walked beside the men. Whilst you weren’t as powerful as some of the Avengers, you were a great assassin like Natasha Romanoff. Your talent was your knife throwing but under all the training and all the knowledge, there was a gift. A gift you’d had since birth.

If you touched someone, you could see their entire past, everything they had experienced up until that moment. It really drained you of your energy and over the years you trained yourself so that you could switch it on and off so it didn’t happen every time you touched someone but when you did use it, it usually required a lie down afterwards.

“Sorry about Redwing.” Bucky spoke up after a moment of silence.

“No, you’re not.” Sam rolled his eyes at the fake apology before asking: “What’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours?”

“It’s computing.” Bucky grumbled.

“You know what? I can actually see it. I can see the gears turning. Oh, they’re malfunctioning, shutting down. Yep, they’re on fire.” Sam couldn’t help but make fun of Bucky which only made you walk ahead of the men. You weren’t in the mood for this.

“We gotta figure out where the serum’s coming from.” You said to stop their silliness.

“Yeah. And how in the hell after 80 years are there eight Super Soldiers runnin’ loose?” Sam agreed with you just as a transport vehicle began to pull up along side him.

“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” John Walker’s voice penetrated the space like a foul smelling fart.

He opened the truck’s door to allow you all to hop in but you all ignored him.

“Alright. Let’s keep going.” He told the driver before directing his attention back to you. “Look, at least we know what we’re up against now, huh? And we’re pretty sure it’s one of the Big Three, so…”

"Aliens, androids, or wizards?” Sam spoke up just to prove to Bucky that others knew of the ‘Big Three.’

“Pretty sure.” Walker nodded.

“There’s no such thing as wizards.” Bucky exclaimed which made you cock an eyebrow at the man. You clearly missed a conversation here.

“Then it’s aliens, or androids.” Walker shrugged as if it were obvious.

“––Or Super Soldiers.” Sam added.

“Shit. Super Soldiers, for real?” Walker’s colleague responded with the reaction you just about expected.

“Yeah.” Sam confirmed.

“Wow. All right, well, then we gotta work together.” Walker’s eyebrows rose as he spoke.

“That’s not happening.” Bucky declared.

“I think we stand a much better chance if we all just––”

“––Just ’cause you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.” Bucky cut Walker short and you were grateful for it. The man was making your head ache.

“Look, I’ve done the work, okay?” Walker sighed.

“You ever jump on top of a grenade?” Bucky shot back but he wasn't met with the answer he wanted.

“Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times. It’s a thing I do with my helmet. It’s a reinforced helmet. It’s a long story, but, any… Look, it’s 20 miles to the airport. You guys need a ride.” Walker got his driver to stop. “Get in.”

You looked back at Sam and Bucky. You hadn’t said anything yet which Sam thought was a record of yours. You chose to give in and climbed into the truck with Bucky and Sam since your body was already aching from the previous fight.

“Okay, so we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on a bulk supply run. Why?” Walker asked, his eye on you as you sat in between Bucky and Sam.

“They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during the Blip. Maybe they’re just trying to help.” Sam told Walker what he knew.

“They had a funny way of showing it.” Bucky grimaced as a bruise on his face started to form.

“That serum doesn’t exactly have a great track record. No offence.” Walker looked over at Bucky as he hinted at the winter soldier.

“We need to figure out where they’re going.” You wanted to shift the attention away from Bucky.

“She speaks? I have to admit I was starting to wonder.” Walker smiled at you which only made you want to punch him even more than you already did.

“How’d you track ’em here? The Flag Smashers?” Sam could tell you were a second away from decking the new Captain America and hopping ship so carried on the conversation.

“Uh, no, we didn’t track them, we tracked you, uh, through Redwing.” Hoskins notified Sam.

“You hacked my tech?” Sam was beyond irritated at this point.

“Sorry. It’s not exactly hacking. It’s government property. Kind of the government.” Walker laughed as he gestured to himself. “Does he always just stare like that?” He stopped laughing under Bucky’s stare.

“You get used to it.” Sam muttered.

“Okay, look, you know, things have gotten kind of, uh––”

“––Chaotic.”Hoskins helped Walker find the word.

“Yeah.” Walker cleared his throat. “The GRC, they’re doing the best they can to get things up and running smoothly, post Blip.”

“Reactivating citizenship, social security, healthcare. Basically just managing resources for the refugees who were displaced by the return.” Hoskins tried filling you in as if you hadn't heard about it before. The GRC propaganda was plastered across all the cities in America.

“The Global Repatriation Council does all that. We understand but why exactly are you two here?” You questioned, cocking your head towards Walker.

“Well, they provide the resources and we keep things stable.” Hoskins replied first.

“Yeah, violent revolutionaries aren’t usually good for anyone’s cause.” Walker added on.

“Usually said by the people with the resources.” Sam smirked at the men.

“Well, we got a lot of resources. If you guys, if you joined up with us, we could––”

“––No.” Bucky shut Walker down immediately.

“I got mad respect for both of y’all. But you were getting your asses kicked till we showed up.” Hoskins wasn’t helping the situation.

“Who are you?” Bucky asked genuinely.

“Lemar Hoskins.” Hoskins introduced himself once again.

“Look, I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear, I need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins.” Sam backed Bucky up on that one. A name was nothing in this situation.

“I’m Battlestar. John’s partner.” Hoskins nodded towards Walker and you couldn't stop the smile that spread across your lips when Bucky responded.

“Battlestar? Stop the car!” Bucky called up ahead.

The car slowed as it pulled into a bus stop. Bucky pushed open the door and you followed. You couldn't stand sitting in front of that man in that uniform another second longer.

"Look, I… I get it, okay? I get the attitude, I do. You didn’t think that the shield was gonna end up here. I get it, Bucky. And I’m… “ Walker turned back to Sam. “I’m not trying to be Steve. I’m not trying to replace Steve. I’m just trying to be the best Captain America I can be. That’s it. It’d be a whole lot easier if I had Cap’s wingmen on my side.”

Sam scoffed at Walker’s choice of words. Wingmen? He really had the audacity.

“It’s always that last line.” Sam jumped out of the vehicle and followed you and Bucky.

Once back on the aircraft you stripped of your weapons and jacket.

Sam and Bucky did the same.

You sat down on your seat and rested your head back against the wall. You needed an ice bath. Your muscles were screaming at you.

“You alright?” Sam asked Bucky as he sat, his eyes locked on the floor.

You opened your eyes to look over at the men.

“Let’s take the shield, Sam. Let’s take the shield and do this ourselves.” Bucky sounded pretty decided.

“We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up, and take it. Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?” Sam sat up slowly as he furrowed his brow at the idea.

“Maybe.” Bucky grumbled.

“I’ll help you in case you forgot.” Sam proclaimed, “Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years. I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca. We just got our ass handed to us by Super Soldiers, and we got nothing.”

Even though you did spend some time in Wakanda under protection from their government, there was a period where you were on the run with Steve and Sam and it wasn’t fun. Being pardoned after the fight against Thanos was one of the best things that happened to you; it’s what allowed you to go home.

“Not entirely true.” Bucky pushed himself onto his feet. “There is someone that you should meet.”

Bucky’s eyes met yours and you knew who he was talking about.

You had seen Bucky's past. Everyone of Bucky’s memories. You had seen all the death and the pain and the fighting. You had seen the Winter Soldier and pre-world war Bucky and you had suffered for it for some time. Nightmares used to plague you but you had managed to block most stuff from your mind over the years. Especially the Winter Soldier memories because that wasn’t really Bucky; that was a weapon made by Hydra.

You had been forced by the team to check his memories to see if he really had bombed the UN but you couldn't choose how far you looked back, you gift made you see everything from the earliest childhood memory up to that moment.

You stood and approached Bucky.

“Are you sure about this?” You whispered, taking hold of Bucky’s forearm as you pulled him to one side.

“He should know.” Bucky’s eyes seemed so sure. You dropped your hand down from his arm to his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Alright then.” You pressed your lips into a thin line as you accepted his choice.

Soon enough the route was changed and the plane turned.

“Will you come?” Bucky asked as the door to the plane opened.

“I’ll wait here but call me if you need me.” You didn’t feel like seeing Isaiah. Some of the time if something from Bucky’s past showed up it could trigger his memories in your own head which you didn’t particularly enjoy.

“Alright.” Bucky sighed but left without you.

Only a short while later you had received a phone call from Sam.

“Hello?” You answered.

“It’s Bucky. He’s been arrested. There was a warrant out for his arrest.” Sam informed you.

“Why?” You were confused. Bucky had been pardoned like the rest of you for his crimes and his warrant wiped.

“He missed his therapy session or something. I’m heading back to your, we gotta go get him out.” Sam hung up pretty quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about the super solider?” Sam asked you as you made your way to the station.

“I only knew because I’ve been inside Bucky’s head but if I listed off every single person Bucky has fought or killed or wronged it would take me a while.” You hated admitting that but the Winter Soldier had done a lot of damage.

“But this was a black super soldier who rotted behind bars for years! Being experimented on like a lab rat whilst Steve sat in the ice and Bucky ran around playing secret assassin!” Sam was angry and you understood why.

“I didn’t know he was in prison. I only knew of him as the guy Bucky fought in Goyang and lost. I figured if Bucky wanted him found then he would say. It’s not my place, they’re not my memories.” You tried to defend yourself but you knew Sam would never understand your logic.

“How can I trust you if you’re sitting on information like that?” Sam catechised you.

“Because you’ve trusted me for years. I say what needs to be said and if it isn't useful to us at the time then I don’t bring it up. I have so much inside of here from people that aren’t even around more. When I go inside someone’s head the memories don’t just go away. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s memories I’m thinking of when I look back on things. I block what I can and deal with what I can’t.” You stopped Sam in the hallway as you snapped. You couldn’t believe he was questioning whether he could trust you or not after everything.

“I know it can be hard for you. I can’t imagine what its like but there are some things more important than others and Isaiah. Isaiah is one of them.” Sam’s words just made you turn and head to the desk.

You tried to get as much information about Bucky but all they instructed you to do was sit and wait.

“Sam?” A woman approached you and Sam. You lifted your head up at the sound of her voice. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist.”

You shook hands with the woman and introduced yourself.

“I’ve heard some about you too.” Dr. Raynor smiled as she greeted you.

“Thank you for getting him out.” Sam thanked her as he shook her hand but she only furrowed her brow.

“That was not me.” She told you both.

“Christina!” You didn’t need super hearing to recognise that voice. “Good to see you again!” Walker was signing autographs as he entered the station.

“You gotta be kidding me. You know him?” Sam only said what you were thinking.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.” Dr Raynor looked between Sam and Walker.

“I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in.” Walker approached her which made you stepped back. “Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.”

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?” Dr Raynor protested.

“Um…” Walker pointed to himself. You felt a fire flare inside of you. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I.”

Walker then pointed to you and Sam.

“You too, Wilson. (Y/l/n). I’ll be outside.” Walker backed away, sending a wink in your direction.

You felt Sam take hold of your wrist quickly before you could even take the chance to lunge forward.

“Breathe.” Sam told you. “We’ll deal with that asshole later.”

Bucky was allowed through and Dr Raynor approached him immediately.

“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam.” She insisted as she headed back towards the cells from which Bucky had just come from.

“That’s okay. I’ll be out here with (Y/n).” Sam brushed off the offer except it wasn’t an offer.

“That wasn’t a request.” Dr Rayor warned him.

You pushed the man forward.

“Quicker you’re in, quicker you’re out.” You told him.

“Why doesn’t she want you?” Sam pouted.

“Get moving before I get bored and decide to use John Walker out there as my new punching bag. Get myself in trouble.” You tried to make the man laugh but failed. He only groaned and dragged himself inside.

It didn’t take long for Sam to storm out of there who was swiftly followed by Bucky.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked Sam as he returned to you.

“Peachy.” He sneered.

You sighed and followed both men outside.

“Well, I feel better.” Sam announced once you were all finally outside.

“I feel awful.” Bucky muttered which made you want to take his hand but you refrained as a siren drew your attention over to Walker and his buddy.

“Gentlemen. Lady. Good to see you again.” Walker had a smile on that you wanted to wipe clean off. “ Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

“Well do you have anything that’s actually useful?” You folded your arms across your chest as you closed in on the men.

"Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.” Walker started.

“They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.” Hoskins continued.

“We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps.” Walker finished.

“Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since the Blip. So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.” Bucky’s glowered at the man as he leant on the cop car.

“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” Walker smirked as he snapped back.

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky rose his voice.

“No, we don’t know, Bucky. It’s only a matter of time before we find out.” Walker rose his voice also.

“Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” Bucky was being cocky. You had to stop yourself from finding it amusing.

“Take it easy. Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.” Sam interrupted and seemed to clear the air a little. You took his last words as a chance to leave but Walker wasn’t done.

“A word of advice, then.” Walker stopped you all. “Stay the hell out of my way.”

You watched the two men walk away. Your jaw clenching together to stop you from saying something you’d regret.

“Come on.” Sam urged you on and you forced yourself to walk away.

Once you were far enough from the station Sam asked you both what you were thinking.

“Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said ‘my people’...” Bucky was the one of out you both to speak first.

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant.” Sam began.

“No, he meant HYDRA. HYDRA used to be my people.” Bucky corrected him.

“Not a chance.” You shook your head, putting your foot down.

“Walker doesn’t have any leads.” Bucky claimed.

“Bucky, I know where you’re going with this and I’m saying no.” You couldn’t believe he was even suggesting it.

“He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets.” Bucky tried to reason with you.

“Don’t you remember Siberia?” Sam also knew exactly what Bucky meant.

Bucky nodded.

“So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam stared at Bucky with a mixture of shock and concern.

“Yes.” Bucky was hesitant to answer which only made you hate this idea even more.

“Okay, then.” Sam sighed. “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

“No! No, we aren’t not going to see Zemo!” You demanded causing both the boys to stop.

“(Y/n), it’s different now.” Bucky declared.

“It’s the only lead we got.” Sam was actually on Bucky’s side.

“What? And you think he’s just gonna help us like that?” You scoffed out of disbelief.

“We have to try.” Bucky started to walk again.

“I trust this guy about as far as I can throw him, Buck!” You exasperated.

“That’s more than me.” Sam murmured but you chose to ignore it.

“(Y/n). We’re going.” Bucky wasn't arguing anymore. It was going to happen.

(PART 2 HERE)

Bucky Barnes Tags

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16 @shannon-posts @darkbluenovember @sexwithhiddlesbatch

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier imagines #sam Wilson imagines #Sam Wilson #falcon #the winter soldier #Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan imagines #Sebastian Stan x reader

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

through the lens

w/c: 2.3k

warnings: swearing and mentions of blood (all fluff tho!)

summary: yours and peter’s date night doesn’t go as planned, thanks to his “little” accident and mj’s photography project

a/n: it’s been a minute but i’m back! for now lol i promise i’ll be way more active when exam season is over <3 this was based off the lovely pic above taken by the even lovelier zendaya and i hope you enjoy these… let’s call it random workings of my mind

“hang on, can you come closer?” mj instructs you, you promptly stepping towards her. “is this good?” “great,” she affirms and squints behind the camera. “smile really big on the count of three, okay? one, two, three!” doing as she says, you give mj your cheesiest grin with your eyes squeezed shut and all. she snickers while snapping the moment on her polaroid.

mj asked you to be her subject for a photography project. you’re happy to do it, although it’s super last minute. like, barging-into-your-room-and-begging-you-for-help last minute. she was supposed to turn this in days ago. lucky for mj, her teacher was feeling generous and gave her an extension.

you have to work fast because of mj’s deadline and your plans with peter. he’s coming over for a movie marathon and cuddles right about now. well, he’s actually running a tad bit late. that’s typical peter for you.

“just a couple more, and then you’re free,” mj informs you while shaking out the polaroid. “this is honestly pretty fun, you know.” you glance at the photo she’s holding with an eyebrow quirked in surprise. she captures you well. “what made you choose me?” “no one else was free on a saturday,” she snorts and tosses the picture in a pile with the rest.

your mouth falls agape. “i’m not free! peter’s gonna be here in…” you check the time on your phone, much to your dismay. “he’s a few minutes late, but still. i have things to do, too.” a smirk sets on mj’s face as she gets ready for the next photograph. “relax, y/n/n. i was kidding. i’m sure spider-dweeb will be here sooner than you know it.” sighing lightheartedly, you take a seat on your bed.

“don’t call him that,” you shake your head. mj throws her own head back to the ceiling. “ugh, but that was a good one,” she insists, you only humming. “it’s better than penis parker, at least.” “nah, i like the alliteration,” you laugh out and earn a giggle from mj. “you’re lucky parker doesn’t have super hearing, or does he?” winking, you hit a pose for mj. you’re looking at her over your shoulder with smolder eyes.

“ask him yourself, after you get this shot.”

the two of you continue messing around with her polaroid until the film is almost gone, and peter has yet to arrive. you’re starting to worry. you aren’t sure where he could be.

he doesn’t patrol on weekends unless it’s an emergency, and he would’ve told you if there was one already. he’s never this late without sending a text, either. it’s almost an hour past when date night should’ve started. on the other occasions peter has gone off the grid, they didn’t end well.

“i’m freaking out, em. do you think he’s in some kind of trouble?” you ask mj, pacing around your bedroom. she offers a sympathetic shrug. “maybe he just ate some bad yogurt. remember last time?” being the dummy he is, peter once scarfed down an entire tub of vanilla yogurt before he realized it was expired. no one heard from him for days. he didn’t show up to school or answer any calls.

may ended up inviting you over and explaining he’d gotten a stomach bug, which you then tended to him for the rest of. the story was so amusing, and so peter.

“may doesn’t buy him dairy anymore. why do you think he always raids your freezer?” you bring your fingers up to rub your temples. “the kid can empty ice cream cartons in one bite,” she agrees, silently cringing. her curiosity piques at the fact. “is that also a power?” “who cares?” you nearly shout, your fingers curling into fists. “what i wanna know is if peter is fucking okay.”

on cue, there’s a knock at your apartment door. you and mj exchange looks of urgency, both rushing out of your room to answer.

mj follows you through the hall and stands by your side while you fumble with the lock. when your door pulls open, ned has his hand raised to knock again. “ned? what are you doing here?” you don’t give him the chance to speak. “have you heard from peter? he was supposed to be here a while ago, but he never showed.” rather than answering in words, ned takes a step aside.

the sight you’re met with makes you gasp. peter peeks out from behind him, cuts and bruises littering his flushed face. he gives you a lopsided smile.

“you have your answer,” mj murmurs to you and eyes ned curiously. he lets out a nervous chuckle. “here he is.” you push past ned and practically jump into peter’s arms, your hug bone-crushing. “peter, oh my god! are you okay?” wincing, peter hugs you back by your waist. his chin rests carefully on your head.

“hey… i’m alright, baby. still pretty sore, though,” he sucks his lower lip between his teeth. you take the hint to loosen your grip on him. “i was worried something bad might’ve happened to you. i… i guess i was right.” your tone softens, you threading a hand in his curls. they’re completely disheveled from whatever went down with him.

ned heads inside to catch up with mj, the two of them letting you have a moment alone.

“someone’s got a spidey sense of their own, huh?” peter tries to lighten the mood by joking. it doesn’t work, a frown still evident on your face as you try to untangle his once soft locks. “baby, everything’s fine. i just… had a little accident is all. no big deal,” he reassures you and moves in to peck your lips. you’re so shocked that you dodge the kiss.

“little? your whole face is black and blue, pete!” you tug on the white collar of his button up, peter letting out a shaky breath. your other hand comes to rest on his cheek, touch gentle. “how’d you get like this?” he licks across his lips shyly and sets his hands on your hips. “see, on the way over there were these bad guys who-“

“no there weren’t,” ned cuts in, scoffing at the beginning of his friend’s story. peter shoots him a warning look over your head. “yes there were, ned. you weren’t even there!” he catches mj glaring at him before he continues. “don’t listen to him. anyway, i had to fight them because…” when he trails off, you stroke your thumb across his cheek, avoiding any wounds in the way. raising both eyebrows, mj speaks up.

“because why? go on, parker. i’m intrigued,” she encourages him. everyone can tell peter is lying except you. the question really is, what’s he lying about? he gulps down his spit, pulling your body against his for comfort. “take your time, peter. we can wait,” you say only for him to hear. his love filled eyes meet yours, and he nods. ned huffs at the dramatics unfolding before him.

“dude, you’re making this way worse than it actually is. just tell her!” he demands, mj cocking her head to the side. peter’s gaze flits between the two of them. “tell me what?” you wonder softly and tilt his chin, willing him to look at you again. “i… i…” peter’s shoulders slump, his voice lowering in defeat. “there weren’t any bad guys.”

“of course there weren’t,” ned confirms. “no shit,” mj adds. exhaling, you wait for your boyfriend to further elaborate. “what really happened, then? be honest, pete.” peter lets go of you so he can come into your apartment properly, you shutting the door behind him. he scratches the back of his neck as he fills you in. “ok. um, me and ned were hanging out.”

ned is attempting to stifle a laugh for some reason, which mj elbows him for. you take one of peter’s hands. “yeah?” “we were at my place, and… you know those really slippery steps on the sixth floor?” peter pauses for someone to answer, playing with your fingers. “the ones flash almost wiped out on once?” mj questions in amusement. he lets a quiet chuckle out. “good times. yeah, those.”

his gaze averts to the ground, you listening on. “so, i was walking ned out on my way over. we were talking about spidey stuff-“ “as per usual,” mj mumbles to herself. ned raises his hands in defense. “—and i told ned i could always stick my landings. he didn’t believe me.” you playfully roll your eyes, seeing where this is going. “so… i, uh, decided to show him,” peter finishes off.

“i did a, um, backflip. tripped and fell down the flight of stairs,” he finally admits to you, putting his other hand on top of your intertwined ones. “clearly, i was wrong.” his bloody face is now red from humiliation. “you didn’t trip, dude. you freaking summersaulted!” ned corrects him and bursts into laughter he’s been holding back. “idiots, both of you,” mj simply remarks.

“that’s it? why didn’t you just say that?” you almost laugh yourself. groaning, peter rests his forehead against yours. “because it’s embarrassing! i wanted you to think i’m a tough guy or whatever.” placing both hands on his cheeks this time, you nuzzle your nose against his. “you don’t have to be a tough guy to impress me, babes. you’re kind, smart, funny. makes up for you being such a klutz.”

peter cracks a grin, easily capturing your lips in the kiss he didn’t get to before. it doesn’t last long because mj gags and ned whistles at you. you’re both giggling when you pull apart, peter kissing the tip of your nose for good measure.

“you really mean that?” he checks, tucking back a strand of hair from your face. “of course. i have a thing for himbos,” you tease and poke at his bare chest. his eyes widen. “how about i get you some ice and you find our first movie?” you’re already off to the kitchen, beaming at peter. “date night’s still on?” he happily plops down on your couch, mj showing ned her pictures from earlier.

“as soon as those two get out of here,” you call loudly enough so ned and mj hear you. “yeah, yeah. we’re leaving,” mj deadpans, shoving the photos back into her portfolio. peter glances over at it curiously. “what’s that for?” “photography project,” she says and gets an idea. “i have some film left. y/n took up most of it… you losers want the rest?”

while mj coerces her way to a higher grade, you put some popcorn in the microwave for your movie marathon.

“well, i could use a new lockscreen. i’m in!” ned quickly concedes. him and mj both give peter hopeful looks. “i’m not!” he protests, squishing one of your pillows against his chest. “with my face looking like… this? forget about it.” mj walks over to him and places her portfolio on the coffee table. “what? those gashes are gnarly… in a good way, i mean,” she promises.

“painful, too,” peter murmurs. “y/n, hurry up with that ice!” mj demands, grabbing the polaroid camera from its string around her neck. you wave her off. “what i’m saying is, they’ll look sick in my portfolio.” mj forces a smile, ned looking at her weirdly. “uh, what’s the theme of your project again?” “freestyle, baby,” mj casually replies.

peter comes up with a condition that could persuade him. “if you say please, i might consider it,” he concludes, mj perking up. “please be in my project. pretty please?” she instantly requests, ned pursing his lips from behind her. peter rubs his chin. “y/n, what do you think? should i?” you pipe in from the kitchen. “yeah, so she’ll leave my house.”

“you heard the lady. i’ll do it,” peter gives in. all but squealing, mj gestures for ned to sit. “this’ll only take a few minutes. you guys are really saving my ass.” ned gets comfortable next to peter on the couch, who wants to see how far mj will really go. “aw, we are? i believe that calls for a…” ned catches on. “it comes after please…” mj picks up her camera with gritted teeth. “thank you, morons. say cheese!”

that’s the only warning peter and ned get before they’re blinded with the flash. ned does a toothy grin as he leans into peter’s side. peter musters up the best smile he can, hair a mess and cuts burning pink on his face. satisfied, mj snatches the photograph as it pops out.

“pleasure doing business with you two,” she states, you joining the three of them in the living room. you set the popcorn on the table and give peter his ice pack. he presses it to his cheek, kissing the back of your hand. “send me that!” ned reminds mj, helping himself to your bowl of popcorn. she salutes him.

“there’s my star. what do you say, y/n? wanna take one more really quick?” mj suggests, already holding up her polaroid. you take the other cushion next to peter, your head on his shoulder. “can peter be in it with me? since he’s in the modeling mood tonight.” he wraps an arm tightly around you. “let’s do it, sweetness.”

eagerly jumping in front of you two, mj crouches down to get a better angle. “on the count of three. one, two, three!” the camera clicks, and you surprise peter by laying a smooch on one of his cheeks. he’s holding the ice against his other, genuinely smiling for this picture. ned coos at you, mj showing off her work when it dries.

“how adorable,” she says sarcastically but means it. peter nods at her in appreciation, his lips brushing the side of your head. “what can i say, you’re a pro,” you compliment mj. “come on, em!” ned cheers through a mouthful of popcorn.

tonight was an unexpected and exciting mess, even if your date night did get crashed.

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction

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fivefeetfear · 2 years

Text

Chp 13 final Chp part 1

And we are at the end of the road!

…………..

The end of the month came and went meaning My contract at Ozzies is over. The whole thing was very bitter sweet. I grew as person and artist, I made lots of new friends and potential coworkers. I am signed to one of the biggest labels in all 7 rings, my first album is completed and I have the best boyfriends ever. But being on the road is gonna suck without them.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are extremely proud of me but they are obviously upset that I am on the road for the next few months. The first couple of weeks they called me every night to chat or even just to sleep together on video chat. I’ve miss their synchronized snoring. But calls now dwindle down to whenever I had the opportunity to take a break. Fizz would visit my rehearsals here and there and sometimes they both were able to come to my shows. Our time together would be short but it meant a lot. I know how busy they are so it meant the world to me when they took time off to support me.

I was also able To have Blitz and his friends tag along. I may or may have not paid them the cost of a five month worth of work. (It wasn’t a lot). They were all more than happy to oblige seeing as they are all on a paid vacation. And something about Blitz not wanting to seeing Stolas for a while. I didn’t know a whole lot but he’ll tell me when he is ready!

I couldn’t provide the same courtesy for my boys being they are a high demand club and made a hell of a lot more money than I.M.P.

Time kept speeding on by, three months had passed us in a snap. I am currently in my tour bus lying on the bed scrolling through my phone. Blitz and the gang went to explore the city, we are in the slot ring. I stood behind because I am totally exhausted. Don’t get me wrong I love sight seeing but Last night took up so much of my energy. So far no other ring could best the crowds energy in the envy ring. It was intoxicating. I performed five extra songs because I didn’t want leave, they kept cheering me on to sing. They sang along, it was just so unreal to hear a mass of voices sing your song to you as one. It was a high I never wanted to come down from. And now I am suffering the consequences with a major body aches and a headache. I just need some peace and quiet.

AHHHH!

I heard my phone scream at me. There goes my peace and quiet. I look at the caller ID and saw it was Fizzarolli calling to video chat! I quickly answer the phone excited to his face. It’s almost been a whole week since we’ve all chatted!

“Ollie!” I chirp happily seeing the jesters cute face.

“Hey there toots how’s it going?!” Mhm I missed his scratchy voice. I just miss his everything! I rolled on my back as I held the phone close to my face.

“It’s going fucking great. I’m really tired but last night was amazing! I wish you were able to be there!” He was so supposed to see me last night but I guess things got out of control at Ozzies. But I just told him in detail what happen, trying to recreate the scene. As I was talking I realized that I haven’t spent time with Fizzarolli and Asmodeus in nearly a month. It made me really sad, we went from spending everyday together and now we rarely see each other. I understand They have packed shows and our schedules completely conflicts with the others. But it still really sucked. I’ve planned to surprise them but my manager kept me for extended rehearsals and interviews. The second I’m done it’s either too late in the night or early in the morning.

“Sounds like a real blast baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t come down last night. Things got real hectic down here.” He began to explain what happen. Something about a huge fight he and Asmodeus had to break up. I saw that he’s walking around the club, I could hear him greeting others. He still must be working.

“When do you think you’ll be able to make it?” I ask, now laying on my side holding a body pillow of him that he sent to me.

“Uggh I’m not sure dolly, I have to look at my schedule again. I’ll let ya know when I can.” I noticed he walked into another room seeing how much darker and quieter it is. He groans loudly as he rubs his eyes tiredly.

“But I gotta say babe, I miss you and your tight pussy so fuckin much.” He growls into the transmitter. Oh fuck that was hot. I could feel the hairs on the back on neck stand on up while my body immediately warms up.

“A month without the good stuff is torture. I can’t fuckin believe I went years without. Fuck just thinking about filling you up is starting to turn me on~.” My face flush with color as I watch him prop up his cellphone. He sat on a Familiar fluffy pink chair with his legs spread open. I could see a delicious tent standing tall just for me. Oh fuck. The two of us aren’t strangers to phone sex. We’ve have done it quite a lot while I was on the road. It wasn’t the same as the real deal but it was a close second.

I eagerly sat up showing him I was in nothing but a sport bra and thong. I had my own room on the tour bus so I was able to comfortably walk around naked if I wanted to.

“Mhm~ well what I miss is your mouth. I love the way your long tongue slips inside of me.” I purr back to him. My hands slowly sliding down my thong strings. Fizzarolli bit his lower lip as his hands made quick work of his pants button and zipper. His member sprung up from its confinements hard and ready. The jester began to stroke himself in a slow teasing manner. Edging is his favorite thing to do to himself. His hungry eyes stare me down as he licks his razor sharp teeth.

“Spread those legs for me so I can see ya wet pussy~.” Satan I love it when he gets so serious. It just made me quiver. I did as I was told and spread my legs to the camera so he had full view of me.

“Fuck ya already wet for me slut~” Fizzarolli pumps himself a little faster as he watches me tease my clit.

“Mhmm Ollie, I miss your big cock inside of me. I want you to fill me up like the dirty lil slut I am.~”I whine softly as I slip one finger inside of myself.

“I wanna feel ya deep inside of me daddy~.” Fizz growls lowly to himself as he picks up the pace on his member. I kept moaning his name as I kept slipping more digits inside myself. I too finding a desirable pace inside myself. It just made it more exciting seeing His pink hues completely focus on my dripping cunt.

“Satan ya such a whore, fuckin ya own tight pussy out of desperation for my touch. Such a needy Bitch.” He degraded me in the best way, his words made my walls tighten around my fingers as I called out his name.

“F/f….fuckkkk.” He grunts out his legs began to tremble. He was about to cum.

“Mhmmm~ Ollieeee please fuck me harder I-I’m gonna cummmm.~” I cried feeling myself about to reach my climax as well.

BOOM

“Where are you gonna go?! I wanna come too!” Blitz shouts as he kicks in my door. I scream in horror as I quickly grab my Fizzarolli body pillow and cover myself.

“BLITZ!!” Me and Fizzarolli shout at the imp. The horny jester reach for his device but end up dropping it to the floor. He curses to himself when the phone cracked on impact.

“Blitzo ya stupid fuckin bitch!” Fizzarolli voice hollers in frustration from my cellphone.

“We’re you two freaks fucking on the phone!!? Can I watch?”

“OH MY SATAN BLITZ GET THE FUCK OUT! OR ILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!” I bellow at him feeling completely mortified. This is so fucking embarrassing! When B finally left I sigh heavily, flopping onto my bed I apologized to Fizzarolli over and over. I should have double check the lock on the door.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t your fault. He’s a fucking idiot. Ugggh! I was so close too. Fucccckkk, I really miss ya F/N this distance shit ain’t it. I wanna have ya here and be all mines” Awe! My heart flutter at his sweet words. I squeezed the body pillow a little hard feeling a new sensation bloom in my chest.

“Awee Ollie I am yours. I’ll be home soon. Just two more months.” The imp groans as he began muttering to himself.

“I can’t wait that long”. he sat back in the fluffy chair looking in deep thought. I was getting a little nervous on what he meant. He can’t wait for me to come back to fuck him? Was he thinking about fucking someone else? I know I didn’t say we were exclusive but I was hoping if just be the three of us.

“Your dick will be fine, you have Momo.” I tried reassuring him. He can always get his fix from the prince of lust himself.

“No not that….. I hate that youre so far. I just…..I want…Mhm I gotta make some calls. I talk to ya soon toots. Bye love ya!” And with that he hung up. Leaving me confused.

“Love you too.” I whisper to myself. I honestly don’t know how to feel. The thought of him fucking some random bothered me. I sigh heavily as curled back on the bed.

In the other room Blitz sat with M&M and then his phone rang.

“Well hello there, I didn’t know phone sex operators made house calls, how much do you charger?” Blitz says with a shit eating grin.

“Shut the fuck up Blitz. I’m calling because Ima need a favor from ya. Think ya can handle it?” Fizzarolli asks him.

……..

The last couple of months of tour flew by. And it has been an incredible experience! Meeting my fans and going on interviews has been such a chaotic time but I would never change it! Even though one of the talk shows host kept asking personal questions about Fizzarolli and Asmodeus.

“So how are the three love birds? Is it official? Are you guys together? It must be a pleasurable time seeing they are both Notorious for their sexual history! Where’s the crazy places you three fucked?”

She would drone on and on wanting to get the latest scoop. I answer to the best of my abilities without giving too much away. Verosika even came to a few of my shows as a guest and we may have hooked up while she was here (she wasn’t some rando, she a friend I fuck occasionally). Asmodeus even called more often seeing Fizzarolli had booked more of his stand up shows in other realms meaning he wasnt able to visit yet again.

We finished the last couple of shows in the gluttony ring and today is my last show and then I will be all theirs for ever how long!

“Hey N/N what do you think about this one?” Millie voices interrupts my train of thought. I look at the short woman as she points to a ring in a glass case. We are in a mall looking for rings for some reason. She mentioned something about getting a new ring? I think she lost hers, I don’t know. All I know is she and Blitz have been dragging my tired ass from mall to mall the last couple months.

“Uhh it’s ok, the Diamond kind of small.” She hums in thought, the imp nods in agreement as she placed her hands on her hips.

“Well which ring would you get than?” Not this question again. It was basically routine now. She will point to different rings that I didn’t find cute, I say no then she will ask me which one I like. It’s getting old.

“I don’t know the last mall didn’t have anything cute. And I wasn’t even looking.” that was a lie. We are currently in one of the best jewelry stores that we ever walk into and I’ve already spotted the ring that I really liked. I couldn’t help but think about Fizzarolli proposing to me. Ill be honest if shit never gone wrong in the first I’m pretty sure we would have been married now with three to four kids and one on the way. But all that seems so out of reach. Between us being in a trouple and newly made career marriage and kids seem like a dream.

“Oh come there has to be one.” Millie pushes as she looks around the various of rings. My eyes travelled to a beautiful ring to the far right, slowly I pointed it out.

“I really like that one.” I admitted admiring how it shine in the light. It’s really fucking gorgeous. Millie peeks over and Ohhh loudly.

“Oh that is stunnin! You should try it on!”

“No Millie that’s no-“

“Hello sir! Yes can you please take that ring out my friend wants to try it on.” Oh great. The employee nods as he open the case and pulls out the ring.

“You have a good eye ma’am, that ring has no flawless, it reflects in every light and has a tastefully sized Diamond.” He says as he reaches out for my left hand. I hesitate at first not wanting to try it on. If I loved it, it will be so hard to part with. But I could always buy it, right? Slowly I gave him my hand and he slips on the rock on my ring finger. Holy fuck. I couldn’t take my eyes away from it. It’s…its fucking breath taking.

“Perfect fit, like it was made for you.” The man says.

“Oh wow.” Was all I could say as I admire the ring from every angle. I heard Millie losing her shit as she too just seem as mesmerized as me.

“That is one of a kind, it’s called The Sinners Eye, so it will cost 80,000. With tax it will bring you up to 100,000.” Oh fuck. That’s a lot of money. And I have made a shit ton more on tour so It’s wasn’t terrible, but I would never spend that much for jewelry. With a heavy heart I shook my head.

“It’s gorgeous but no thank you.” The employee nods as he was ready to take the ring.

“Wait!” Blitz says seemingly popping out of thin air. He took a picture of the ring on my finger in several angles.

“There so you can treasure this moment for the rest of your life!” He chimes forwarding the photos to my phone. I chuckle as I rolled my eyes.

“Ok thanks B.” I returned the ring to the man and bid him goodbye so I could get ready. The store phone rang and the gentleman waved goodbye before answering it.

“Hello. Yes I can hold a ring for you sir, yes it is still available! When will you be picking it up? Tonight? Splendid! I’ll have it set up!”

…………….

“Thank you so much everyone for a wonderful night! I love all of you!” I yell into the microphone. Sweat still dripping down my body as I steadily caught my breath. And just like that my tour came to an end.

“Make sure to get home safe and have DD! Thank you so much good fucking night!” The audience cheer loudly and it made my very core shake with excitement. This will never get old! I began to walk off the stage, I want to call Ollie or Momo again. I haven’t spoken to Ollie for three days. He didn’t even text me good luck like he usually does. I was getting nervous. Before I made it off the stage i heard Blitz voices over the speakers.

“Excuse me before you all go home and shoot up whatever drugs you have I want to make an announcement! Obscure your presence is needed, get up here bitch.” Oh great here we go. I walk out back to the middle of the stage and stood beside the imp curious on what he is up to. I could see the cameras zooming in on us on the large screens across the stadium.

“Good. For those who don’t know me I am Blitz, and me and Obscure go way back! Basically diapers!”

“That’s because he was a six year old wearing diapers.” I joke making the crowd laugh. Blitz did not find it as funny and he simply flips me the bird.

“As I was sayin. I’m not a man of kind words, but I just wanted to say How fucking proud I am of you, you fucking whore! You always wanted to be a singer and here you are selling fuckin out shows in all rings of hell!! You worked your cute lil ass off and it paid off! You have grown into a boss as Bitch and living your best Damn life. I am so grateful that I was able to be part of this journey to see it all. ” The audience went wild as he too cheered obnoxiously into the microphone. My eyes soften as I watch him celebrate my success. It meant so much to me seeing how proud and excited he is for me. I reach down and east pull Blitz into a bone crushing hug.

“B If it werent for you pushing me I wouldn’t be here. So thank you for being the biggest ass hole, getting kicked out of each bar in hell and coming into mines. You changed my life forever and I could never repay you for that. Thank you B, I love you so much!” I could sense my throat getting tight from all the emotions I am experiencing. If it wasn’t for him I would still be working in that shitty bar wondering what could have been if I didn’t perform at PISS. Waste my time Dreaming of what I have now. I could feel Blitz squeezing me equally as hard as we just embrace the other on stage.

“I love you like the non-biological sister I always wanted to fuck.” I choke on my spit as I burst out laughing with the rest of the guest. And he is back. I gently shove Blitz back playfully as we chuckle at his inappropriate joke.

“You perv!”

“Yeahhh well whattaya going to do? But seriously no matter what I’ll always have your back. Your next adventure is around the corner, and just so you know I gave him my blessing.” I tilt my head to the side as My brows knit together in confusion. What Blessing? What the hell did that mean?

“What ar-“

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The audience scream at the top of their lungs nearly deafening me. It nearly blew my eye drums out! What is going on!? I was trying my best to regain my composure from the screaming but Blitz then grabs my shoulders and whirls me around. My Vision became blur from the whiplash, I nearly fell over stumble but Blitz hands kept me steady on my feet. I rapidly blink my eyes trying to focus them again, Once they I just loudly as I covered my mouth in shock.

“No fucking way.” My voice shakes as tears swells in my eyes. In front of me is my darling Fizzarolli wearing an all black jester suit on his knee. In his hands he holds The Sinners Eye in a black velvet box. He smiles nervously as he began to to undo his bow tie. Holy shit, holy shit.

Blitz puts a finger to his lips shushing the crowd that still rage excitedly for us. When the room got quiet Fizzarolli clear his throat, he grabs the microphone B offered him and spoke.

“Uh, oh wow this harder than I thought.” I giggle softly trying to keep it together. I’ve never seen him so flustered.

“Ok, 23 years ago I fell in love with you, a sweet dorky girl I met in grade school. The two of us became friends a-

“The three of us became friends. Don’t forget me!” Blitz cuts in. I shoot him a wide eye stare that scream “shut the fuck up”. Getting the message he coughs into his fist before stepping back. Fizzarolli chuckles softly when I gave him my undivided attention as though nothing happen.

“When we were 14, I finally had the fuckinh balls to ask her out. When you said yes and I busted a nut.” This earned a laugh from everyone in the room. I cover my wide smile as I shook my head. I remember him asking me out. He look like he was gonna puke if anything.

“We had a beautiful 10 year relationship. I was the happiest I ever been. But I was fucking fool and I lost ya. For nearly five years I couldn’t get ya outta my head, and nor did I want to. Ya showed me unconditional love that I did not deserve. Ya supported me through all of my bull shit. Then you came back into my life and I never want to go a day without ya ever again. I know we just reconnected a few months ago but while you were on tour it was killing me not havin ya around. It was near torture not having ya besides me and Ozzie where ya belong. So will you please put me out my fucking misery and marry me?” Throughout the speech I couldn’t hold back the tears. I let them flow as I took in all that he said to me. I study the look on his face as he talk. I could hear the occasional shake in his voice while he struggle to keep his tears at bay.

And when he asks me, My mind went blank as I tried to form a sentences i kept stumbling over my words like an idiot. I couldn’t believe this is happening. I’ve dreams about this moment since I was a kid! And I can’t even talk!! Get a grip! My tears fell as I nod eagerly nearly bouncing in place. A Large smile grows on my face as I shout.

“Yes! Yes Ollie! fuck yes I’ll marry the fuck outta you!” I cried happily. The audience once again Lost their collective shit as they fill the space with their screams.

The jester let a few tears of his own fall as he slips the ring on my finger. And in a blink on eye he scoops me up into his arms bringing me into a loving kiss. My hands immediately cup his cheeks holding him close in the kiss. I open my mouth allowing his fork tongue to slip inside. I haven’t seen him in months and I really fucking missed him. So I will enjoy this moment for however long I wanted it, I knew Ollie didn’t mind one bit.

………….

Part 2 coming soon! ~

#fizzarolli reader #fizzarollixreaderxasmodeus #fizzarolli helluva boss #fizzarolli love story #fizzarolli x reader #fizzarolli #helluva fizzarolli

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room-archive · 4 years

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By now, some of you might have heard about the situation in Poland. The following text was posted on FB by a Polish friend of mine following the events of 07. August 2020 in Warsaw. It describes what happened, and the context of what led to the events of yesterday. Please reblog and share this post to spread awareness about the current situation.

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For a very long time it has not been easy for me to write and talk about my country. Publicly, for a very long time I haven't. Disagreeing with most of what the current government stands for, that would have become a full-time job. Feeling that one is powerless, one can easily become indifferent and either emigrate abroad or immigrate inside to the bubble of like minded friends, trying to just go on with life regardless, to wait out the storm, to hope for the world to change one day on its own. I am guilty of doing both. But yesterday, I believe that Poland came to its turning point. We went to sleep in a troubled democracy and woke up in an authoritarian country that uses the full force of the state apparatus to oppress and unjustly prosecute members and allies of the LGBT+ community.

No good person can stay indifferent facing these circumstance.

General context:

👉 It all began members of the activist collective "Stop Bzdurom" (eng. Stop the Bullshit) spray-painted and cut the tires of an anti-abortion van. This van was taped with graphic images of dead fetuses and frequently driving through the streets of Warsaw. While the activists spray painted the van, the driver intervened and it came to a light physical quarell with pushing and elbowing. This is the video of this altercation: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1324521857722944&id=137358556439286

👉 On the basis of that, the Public Prosecution (which is under total political control in Poland - the Minister of Justice IS the Attorney General) decided to press charges of violent assault and destruction of property against one of the members of the collective - Margot. Margot identifies as a non-binary person (it will be important later in the story). Under those charges Margot could face up to 7 years in prison.

👉 Some weeks ago, Margot was dragged out of her apartment by police in civil clothing. At that point, police refused to give any information about her whereabouts or charges. It took many hours to establish that she was taken to the prosecution office for interrogation and to provide her with a lawyer. The prosecution filed for two months of arrest, awaiting trial. The court initially denied prosecution's request and released Margot. At that stage, this story could have ended as yet another, relatively harmless episode in our disfunctional democracy - unjust and infuriating of course, but at the end smoothened out by the somewhat independent parts of our judiciary.

👉 In between that and yesterday, the same collective hanged rainbow flags from monuments in Warsaw. One of those was a statue of Jesus. This was follwed by a wave of arrests under the charges of "desecrating monuments and offending religious feelings". The arrested were charged while our prime minister and president were visiting desecrated monuments and placing commemorative flowers.

And then yesterday happened:

👉 The prosecution appealed the court's denial to put Margot under arrest. Another court, for reasons still unclear, reversed the decision and decided to put Margot in jail for two months before any trial. There could not possibly be any reason to make such a decision legitimate. Margot is a special case because Polish arrest and correctional facilities are an extremely dangerous place for a (visibly) queer person like her.

👉 When Margot learned of the decision, she happened to be in the office of the biggest Polish LGBTQ+ NGO - Kampania Przeciw Homofobii (eng. The Campaign Against Homophobia). With the police on the way to arrest her (quite symbolic, isn't it), a few NGO’s asked people to gather in front of the office in a demonstration of solidarity. A few hundred people and plenty of journalists showed up, including multiple members of parliament from left and center opposition parties.

👉Margot decided that if she has to go, she won't just go quietly but as publicly as she can. She walked through the demonstration up to the police officers, offering herself to be taken away. They refused to arrest her. We thought they got scared of the public support and the cameras. It looks like we couldn't have been more wrong.

👉 The spontaneous demonstration moved to a nearby allegedly desecrated monument. There, peacful demonstrators were met by an excessively large police force seperating them from the monuments. And then someone has given an order to make an example out of demonstrators and turn the arrest into a show of power.

👉 First, an unmarked car approached. A bunch of police officers in civil clothing dragged Margot inside. For all that has happened later the crowd remained non-violent.

👉 Then, demonstrators sat down around the car to prevent it from leaving. (see Photo) The police attacked with an unprecedented brutality. Tens of undercover police officers arrived and together with their colleagues in uniforms they begun brutally attacking, beating, suffocating and throwing the demonstrators into police cars driving away with them. All that during broad daylight, in front of TV cameras. Without any shame or hesitation. Multiple photos of police brutality bellow. All questions about the basis of the detention were met with laughter. The protestors were not even called upon to disperse. Just faced with violence for the sake of power - no law, no order. TV cameras have caught police officers giving eachother orders to arrest "three random people from the crowd". Bystanders and people passing by were also arrested.

Yesterday in Warsaw is was enough to be in a wrong place, wrong time. We witnessed a straight up round up.

👉To paint the picture of the excess of the police brutality in more detail, I'll quickly describe one of the detentions. During that whole time, MPs (Member of Parliament) were present at the site. Now, they hold immunity from being arrested, but I don't believe anyone in Poland ever imagined that this immunity would have to be used in such a way. Among the photos below, there is one of a blonde woman, holding her hand on the back of a demonstrator, who's being pushed to the ground by the police. That women is an opposition MP who left yesterday's protests injured by the police and described in detailes what had happened. She saw police officers throwing the protester in the picture to the ground and kneeing her down. Her head was bleeding on the pavement. The MP run torwards them screaming to let go and pushing the police away. She lied down on the protester to guard her with her own body. Only then the police let the MP to put her purse under the bleading head of the protester (seen photo) and take care of the head-wound. The protester was then taken away by the police to an unknown location. That story is just one among many horrifying stories from yesterday.

👉 Later, noone knew where exactly the detained people were taken. We guess that around 50 people were arrested.

50 political prisoners.

Police has been refusing any information. The demonstration has moved under the main police stations and the second wave of random arrests happen (you can see it on the video: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=295720058542451&id=107750507339408).

👉Members of parliament and attorneys have been present at the police stations all night trying to get any information and to provide legal help to the detainees. In order to prevent this contact, police has started to move the arrested people out of Warsaw- a tactic straight up from the harshest repressions of the communist times. On one of the photos below you can see two MPs standing in the way of a police van in the middle of the night to prevent that from happening. People were being dragged out of the police stations to the transport vans. They were shielded on the way to the car by other police vehicles to make identification impossible. Few of them managed to scream out their last name. Attorneys were immediately requesting access to their clients, and were met by police officers bluntly lying that such a person was never there.

👉 To paint the picture in more detail, again, of what was happening on the police stations- below you have a photo of a lady reading a piece of paper standing in a window with bars. That's yet another Polish MP, reading a list of the people being held at that particular station to the desperate families searching for their loved ones.

As for today, we are still unsure about what is going to happen.

We know that the arrested people are being presented with bullshit charges, citing ”the participation in an illegal gathering with an aim of violently assaulting a person or a property". Those charges don't stand on any grounds - not only we have photos and videos - the whole peaceful protest was on live TV.

We know that the Polish Ombudsman and the National Mechanism for the Prevention of Torture has started visiting the police stations.

We know that the first international institutions have started to speak out. Example is in the photos below. With the gravity of what is happening, I'd urge for more and sooner.

Poland is not living up to any standards of a free country. Poland is below anything, that should ever be accepted within the European Union. The long-standing aspiration of my country to become a part of the "West" has shifted towards countries like Russia in a matter of a night.

I will fight this, my friends will fight this. We will not let this go gently into silent night.

But I am not sure how much more fight we have in us.

I'll end with asking all of you abroad for support. Let people in your countries hear about this. We in Poland may not be enough.

#poland #lgbt #lgbt rights #human rights #EU #europe #police brutality #activism #demonstration #protests #warsaw #lgbtq

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haikyuucute · 4 years

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Hi!! I have been following your work and I know you are into omegaverse... Would It be possible to request an omegaverse with an oikawa or ushijima alpha's in which one of their fans make his omega believe that he has marked her too? So the Omega has her heart crushed and confronts them about It in anger but It the end he manages to find up what happened therefore making up with the omega in a smut way? Only if u feel confy with it please! And inspired! Manu many thanks un advance if u take it!

Warning: Smut, mirror sex, choking, little bit of angst

yoyoyoyo I just wanna say I LOVE this request!!

Anywho~

I decided to go with flat ass Oikawa

BASICALLY it was inevitable that his fan club would come to hate you when they first found out you two had a thing going on

You knew this

He knew this

So you both took it in stride when you received glares from jealous omegas whenever they saw you two together or when they smelled his scent all over you

But the real issues started arising the day Oikawa claimed you

It was one thing when he was just marking you through his scent, it wasn’t the first time he had had a girlfriend after all

So everyone naturally thought that you’d both eventually break up

but when they spotted a bond mark peeking out from under your collar

that was it

you had basically taken Oikawa off the market

Forever

So now those omegas REALLY couldn’t stand you

And there was a certain friend group that really just wanted to hurt you and make you regret letting Oikawa claim you

One of the omegas had left you a letter, asking to speak with you after school on the roof

And so you went

But the minute you stepped onto the roof and spotted the girl you immediately regretted it since you knew she practically lead Oikawa’s fan club and as a result despised you the most

But before you could leave she had spotted you and got right to the point

“Do you think you’re special?” “... W-what?” “Do you think you’re special because Oikawa-kun claimed you?” “I d-don’t—“ “Because you’re not— see-“

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she pulled down the collar of her uniform to reveal a bond mark, but what she said next had you stomach dropping to the pit of your stomach

”Oikawa claimed me too, so you’re not as special as you think”

You were immediately filled with shock, horror, and betrayal

She had to be lying but at the same time your judgement was too clouded by this sudden claim to think clearly

And if she was telling the truth, then that had meant Oikawa would probably leave you too, not caring that you’d be forever marked by him

You attempted to argue with her, but she completely shut you down and in a flurry of emotions, completely blinded by this supposed betrayal, you searched for him

You found him in the gym as his practice was about to start

Your distressed scent hit him before he actually saw you, immediately being filled with worry, especially when his eyes landed on you and he saw how angry and upset you were and on the verge of crying

You completely blew up at him right then and there in front of his whole team

You claimed that he was an asshole for not telling you about that other omega he claimed, especially since he had claimed you

Overall you had left him vv confused and his teammates shocked, wondering if this revelation was true or not— and if it was, the third years were already planning on how they’d get away with murdering Oikawa for hurting you like that

But once you finally mentioned this omega’s name everything suddenly clicked together and he understood what had happened

And quite honestly he was pretty insulted that you ever believed something like that

You must’ve not thought much of him as an alpha if you believed he’d claim another omega, leave them, and not tell you about it

Not to mention the insinuation that he would’ve done the same thing to you

Oh— and not to mention the little fact you practically humiliated him in front of his team

When his eyes darkened you immediately shut up

And with that simple look, you realized how wrong you were

So now, Oikawa would have to prove himself as an Alpha

And that meant a very long and drawn out punishment for you~

“Keep your eyes open, Omega,” Oikawa growled against your ear, hand tightening around your throat.

You wrenched your eyelids open, immediately coming face to face with yours and Oikawa’s reflection in the mirror in front of you.

You were a mess, your back to his chest as your sweaty figure trembled in his arms while he thrust up into you. The sight of his cock disappearing in your cunt upon every thrust, left you dizzy and lightheaded.

But he had a point to make, and if he had to show you in the most literal way that you were his only omega, then he would.

The hand on your throat slid up to grasp your jaw and tilt your head to the side, placing your bond mark on full display.

”Are you embarrassed by the little show you put on this afternoon?” Oikawa taunted, voice taking on a more airy tone, “Hm Omega? Or did you like making your Alpha look bad in front of his teammates?”

”N-no Alpha— m’ s-sorry,” you managed to choke out with a sob, nearing the verge of incoherency.

He hummed, continuing his slow and torturous pace as he watched your reflection. Your hooded eyelids trying to resist falling closed, his eyes lingered on your heaving chest and he relished in the sounds of your whimpering cries. The pretty sight was topped off by the sight of his mark left on your neck, making a wave of possession wash through him as he tightened his grip on you.

It made him question how you could possibly think he’d waste his time by having marked another omega. No other omega could compare to the one in his arms.

He sped up his thrusts, forcing more high pitched cries from your lips and a low groan to emit from his throat.

“Y’know... ‘m insulted ‘Mega,” Oikawa panted out, the soft, velety walls of your cunt driving him insane, “That you think... I’d waste my time with any omega that walked my way.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you still fought the urge to shut your eyes, and the dark look you found lingering behind Oikawa’s eyes made you nervous— but it was hard to feel stupid over the misunderstanding like you had been earlier when your mind was completely consumed by a hazy lust.

But you knew it was wrong to question Oikawa like you had.

”’M sorry,” you tried again in a broken sob, “I didn’t m-mean it—“

”Quiet,” he snapped, his eyes glued to your still healing bond mark— he knew what he needed to do to drive the fact that you were his one and only. His voice dropped to a rumble, “...Put more trust in your Alpha, Omega.”

With that he had sunk his teeth into the still healing wound, ripping a loud cry from your throat.

But he knew once it scarred over, you’d never question his loyalties again.

—

Taglist:

@shiguraaa @tycrackculture @kynyta @cuddlesslut @baeshijima @yams046 @cutepet09 @kkimoka @elegant-gypsophilia @mrkoala4prsdnt @sapphy-taffy6969 @yougivemebutterfliess @melanieacademy @yeet-these-hoez @nekomasmeow @thirsthourdemon @nekoma-hoe @curiouslilbeast @badboysdoitbetter2 @nervousenergyy @coupsieddori @mizuchan24-blog @ly-nia @mer92 @voids-universe @savemesteeb @bokurotrash @basicallyberry @cherryonigiri @k-eijiakaashi @ethylalcoholforfandoms @sanemisthiccbih @a-book-lover-things @rue-was-here @prod983 @reject-tinkerbell @emotionalfangirl2002 @kawaiipotatochan @alienatian-blog @mortifiedmoon @amirahroronoa @wholeasswhore @asahi-is-jesus-periodt @fake-id-69 @kkoalaworld @hithisismina @lilidrawz @hatanaka-shiori @royalmuffinsworld

#haikyuu #omegaverse #haikyuu omegaverse #haikyuu smut #oikawa tooru #oikawa #tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #tooru x reader #alpha!oikawa

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ljf613 · 3 years

Text

Zuko’s Memory Bias

I’ve talked about Azula’s potential memory bias towards her mother. In that same thread, I mentioned that Zuko also has memory bias towards his parents. What I didn’t think about until I was writing my recent post on his relationship with Azula is how those same biases may have affected the way he perceives her.

(Warning: This is a very complex topic, and I suggest not reading/engaging if you find it potentially triggering or are unable to deal with it in a nuanced way. I am NOT trying to downplay abuse, nor am I trying to gaslight those who’ve been victimized by it.)

Azula the Liar

In “Zuko Alone,” we get a good sense of what Zuko’s life was like as a child. We see him interacting with his mother, sister, and (briefly) his father. And we get some insight into a line from “The Avatar State.”

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Avatar State.” Zuko: “You lied to me! [Cut to Azula, who appears confident.]” Azula: “[Smugly.] Like I've never done that before.”/ End ID]

There are two scenes in “Zuko Alone” where Zuko accuses Azula of lying to him. Look at these lines, and see if you notice a common denominator.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Azula: “[Sing-songy.] Dad's going to kill you! [Seriously.] Really, he is.” Young Zuko: “Ha-ha, Azula. Nice try.” Young Azula: “Fine, don't believe me. But I heard everything. Grandfather said Dad's punishment should fit his crime. [Imitates Azulon.] ‘You must know the pain of losing a first-born son. By sacrificing your own!’“ Young Zuko: “Liar!” Young Azula: “I'm only telling you for your own good. I know! Maybe you could find a nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt you!” Young Zuko: “Stop it! You're lying! Dad would never do that to me!”/ End ID]

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “Where's Mom?” Young Azula: “No one knows. Oh, and last night, Grandpa passed away.” Young Zuko: “Not funny, Azula! You're sick. And I want my knife back, now. [Zuko tries to grab it, but misses as Azula quickly moves out of the way, and loudly grunts.]”/ End ID]

Do you see it yet? Twice Zuko thinks Azula is making some kind of joke, and both times (as far as canon shows us, though I’ve seen headcanons that argue differently) Azula is actually telling the truth.

Azula has no qualms about lying to acheive her goals. We see this multiple times over the course of the series. But if all we had to go by was these two scenes, we might paint a very different picture.

Because there’s another, more subtle thing that both of these scenes have in common: both times, Zuko chooses to believe that Azula is lying, rather than accept that a parent (read: Ozai, because both of these things are really his fault) has failed him.

The Beast

There’s a kind of cognitive bias that often occurs with victims of abuse. Rather than try to explain it, I’ll give an example of a fictional character from a different story who is a very clear example of how and why it happens.

In book one of Trials of Apollo (The Hidden Oracle), we’re introduced to a girl named Meg McCaffrey. Meg is strong, tough, and great in a fight. She explains that it’s all because of her stepfather, who took her in off the streets and trained her. She seems to genuinely care about him, and talks about him affectionately.

But there’s another man in Meg’s life: The Beast. The Beast is a constant presence in her nightmares. He killed her first father, and we soon learn that he’s one of the primary antagonists of the story, and planning on destroying the world.

But eventually, we discover the truth: The Beast and Meg’s stepfather are the same person.

Meg’s stepfather is an abuser, one who’s used a common tool of abusers everywhere-- detatching from the tool he uses to abuse her and anthromorphizing it. “Don’t make me angry,” he says, “or you’ll wake up The Beast, and then whatever happens is on your head.”

And because Meg needs to believe that her stepfather cares about her, she projects all her negative feelings about him towards this figmentary “Beast” and blaming him for all the problems in her life.

Are we noticing the connection to Zuko and his relationship with his father yet?

My Father Loves Me

For the first two and a half seasons (especially in season 1), Zuko is convinced that deep down, his father loves him, cares about him, wants him back home. He has to believe that, because if he doesn’t, then what has been the point of everything he’s done until now?

Which means that tricking him into an Agni Kai and then burning his face must have been justified. It means that capturing the Avatar really will get him back his honor. It means that everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his own fault.

Or, at least, almost everything.

You’re Like My Sister

The first time we ever hear of Azula (other than that shot of her smiling at the Agni Kai in “The Storm”) is when Zuko is talking to (unconcious) Aang after he captures him in “The Siege of the North, Part 2.”

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Siege of the North, Part 2.” Zuko: “I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. [Stands up and looks outside the cave.] There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am.”/ End ID]

There’s something interesting happening here. This is the first time Zuko’s been able to be totally honest about his feelings around Aang, and what does he do? He starts comparing Aang to, of all people, Azula. He’s projecting. He clearly has all of these negative feelings towards Azula, but he can’t do anything about them. So instead, he’s taking it out on Aang.

Take every single interaction between Aang and Zuko in season one. Now realize that from Zuko’s perspective, he was dealing with his sister.

Taking Aang prisoner on his ship? Azula. Constantly trying to capture Aang, only to be outsmarted by him? Azula. Shooting a blast of fire when Aang extends a potential hand of friendship? Azula.

Because Aang, like Azula, is a perceived obstacle between himself and his father’s love.

Father Says She Was Born Lucky

Ozai didn’t just belittle Zuko-- he pitted his children against each other. He made it clear to Zuko that, even from the moment he was born, he would never, ever be as good at his sister.

And all of this has caused a lot of rage and turmoil inside of Zuko. As self-depricating as he is, he does realize that not everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his fault. But we’ve already established that blaming his father would shatter his worldview.

So who else does he have to blame?

Azula.

Azula, who was born lucky. Azula, who’s just so perfect. Azula, the prodigy. Azula, who everyone adores. Azula, who got everything. Azula, who always lies.

Azula Always Lies

Zuko talks a lot about honor. He talks a lot about capturing the Avatar. But when he’s stressed, when he’s feeling pressured, when he’s thinking about all the ways his life has gone wrong, he uses a different mantra.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “[Chanting in a low voice.] Azula always lies. Azula always lies.” Cut to the older Zuko, lying in green grass, holding his traveler's hat to his chest. Zuko: “Azula always lies.”/ End ID]

Azula always lies.

”Azula always lies” is comforting. It means “father doesn’t really consider me a miserable failure.” It means “he was never really going to kill me.”

Instead of getting angry at all the ways his father has failed him, Zuko can just blame it on Azula’s lies. That way he doesn’t ever have to admit the real problem.

Now, I’m not saying that Azula was a perfect sister, or even a particularly good one. I’m not saying that she never lied, because we know she did. I’m not saying she didn’t hurt him, or trick him, or manipulate him. What I’m saying is that Zuko’s skewed perception has lead him to blame her not only for all the ways she hurt him, but also all the ways Ozai failed him.

“Okay,” you’re saying. “Say I agree with you. Say we assume that all of his negative feelings that really should have been directed at Ozai were instead directed at Azula. But that doesn’t matter now. Zuko eventually did realize that his father was wrong. They had a whole dramatic confrontation where Zuko told him what a horrible father he was and everything! He’s not projecting anymore, and his current feelings towards his sister should only be indicative of her actions and behaviors. Right?”

Wrong.

How Cognitive Bias Works

Cognitive bias is insidious. It doesn’t just affect one memory, it ripples outwards, affecting all of them. And the vast majority of the time, we don’t even notice it happening.

Zuko called Ozai out for two things, and two things only.

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse.” Zuko: “For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. [Points a broadsword at his father.] My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. [Cuts to shot of Ozai, looking angered.] How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?”/ End ID]

Zuko blames Ozai for his banishment, and for the Agni Kai. That is it.

To be clear, I am not saying that Zuko thinks Ozai was a perfect father before all of this. Not at all. Zuko is aware that Ozai is “the worst father in the history of fathers.”

But it isn’t like he’s gone back and inspected every single memory that involved Ozai and pinpointed all of the ways Ozai abuzed, manipulated, and gaslit him. He can’t. That requires both a level of objectivity he hasn’t reached, as well as a frame of reference for what normal looks like. Any victim of abuse-- especially childhood abuse-- will tell you that even though they know they were abused, they will often have or witness random interactions that will leave them thinking, “wait, this is what normally happens in this kind of situation? You mean [x] was also part of the abuse?”

Not to mention that while Zuko didn’t examine his feelings towards Azula at any point before the finale. He had his epiphany about Ozai, and realized that his father had been wrong, but he’d always thought Azula was wrong.

So while Zuko is aware that he had a bad father, he hasn’t actually stopped to consider how much of his anger towards his sister is actually about his father.

(Again, I’m not blaming Zuko. None of this is his fault, any more than he’s at fault for the Air Nomad Genocide or the war. It’s just the reality of his situation.)

Conclusion

So what am I saying here?

I’m saying that Zuko’s perception of his sister-- his anger, his frustration, his understanding of who she is-- is fundamentally biased. I’m saying Zuko isn’t viewing her from her own merits. I’m saying that Zuko doesn’t actually know her. He thinks he does, but he’s wrong.

I’m adding another thing to the list of reasons why Zuko is not the person to try and help Azula through her trauma.

I’m giving yet another example of how the fandom’s perception of Azula is also biased-- because the vast majority of our understanding of Azula’s character comes from Zuko.

And unlike Zuko, we can detach ourselves from the narrative enough to realize that it might be worthwhile to re-examine our view of her.

#avatar the last airbender #meta #fire sibs #thoughts #zuko and azula #zuko #selective memory #cognitive bias #azula #ozai #zuko and ozai #toxic family #cycle of abuse #toxic siblings #fire nation royal family #abuse #food for thought #all queued up

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naalbinder · 3 years

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phoebe bridgers // elliott smith parallels

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BEfu6YZ7XbdHFZBXthIpN?si=6bf8fc460eba4d33

E - Riot Coming - “Sat down in jail with this friend of mine/Who'd never close both his eyes/But one was shut all the time/To cover the thing he was scared of”

E - Stupidity Tries “To sail across the sea of trash”

E - Going nowhere - “The old records are sitting on the floor/The ones I can’t put on anymore”

E - Clementine - “Anything to pass the time/And keep that song out of your mind”

P - Smoke Signals - “One of your eyes is always half-shut/Something happened when you were a kid” - “burning trash out on the beach” - “You said that song'll creep you out until you're dead”

E - Miss Misery - (music videos on the same street)

E - Easy way out - “While I watch you making mistakes/I wish you luck I really do” “I heard you found another audience to bore”

E - Looking Over My Shoulder - “Another sick rock ‘n’ roller acting like a dick”

E - Placeholder - “I'm the person you'll never need/The biggest loser on sixteenth street” - “Just like my favourite song/Some pretty words that didn't last that long”

P - Motion Sickness - “I'll be glad that I made it out/And sorry that it all went down like it did” “You said when you met me, you were bored” - “Hey, why do you sing with an English accent?/I guess it's too late to change it now”

E - Some Song - “Help me kill my time cause I'll never be fine”

P - Funeral - “Jesus Christ i'm so blue all the time/And that's just how i feel/Always have and i always will ”

E - Bled White - “Happy and sad come in quick succession/I’m never going to become what you became”

P - Demi Moore - “I got a good feeling/It doesn't happen very often”

E - St Ides Heaven - “With an open container from 7/11”

E - A Fond Farewell - “A fond farewell to a friend”

P - Scott Street - “With an open heart, open container” - “Anyway, don’t be a stranger / don’t be a stranger”

E - Last Call - “And I think I’m all done, you can switch me off safely/While i’m lying here for sleep to overtake me”

E - Roman Candle - “I’m a roman candle/My head is full of flames ”

P - Killer - “But when I’m sick and tired/And when my mind is barely there/When a machine keeps me alive/And I’m losing all my hair/I hope you kiss my rotten head/And pull the plug” - “Tame the fire in you”

E - Georgia Georgia

P - Georgia - “Georgia, Georgia, I love your son”

E - Twilight - “That you are already somebody’s baby”

E - See you later - “Made out of a night train”

E - King’s Crossing - “Instruments shine on a silver tray”

P - Chelsea - “You are somebody’s baby” - “For a chemical imbalance/You sure know how to ride a train” - “With a needle on a tray”

E - Christian Brothers - “No bad dream fucker's gonna boss me around/Christian brothers gonna take him down”

P - Would you rather - “Quarantined in a bad dream/He's half the man and you're twice as tall”

E - Son of Sam - “Son of Sam, son of a doctors love a nurses touch/Acting under orders from above”

P - You Missed My Heart - “A feeling of relief came over my soul/I couldn't take it any longer, and I lost control”

E - Bye - (instrumental)

E - New Monkey (Instrumental)

P - DVD Menu - (instrumental)

E - Coming up roses - “And you're coming up roses everywhere you go/Red roses follow”

E - Rose Parade - “Said, Won't you follow me down to the Rose Parade?”

P - Garden Song “They're gluing roses on a flatbed/You should see it, I mean thousands”

E - Condor Ave - “I don’t know what to do with your clothes or your letters”

E - Baby Britain - “Fights problems with bigger problems/Sees the ocean fall and rise/Counts the waves that somehow didn’t hit her/Water pouring from her eyes/Alcoholic and very bitter”

E - Say Yes - “I'm in love with the world/Through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after”

E - Seen How Things Are Hard - “You just didn't care/You were off getting drunk instead”

E - The Biggest Lie - "Oh, I just told the biggest lie/ I just told the biggest lie/The biggest lie"

P - Kyoto - “And you wrote me a letter/But I don't have to read it” - “I wanted to see the world/Then I flew over the ocean/And I changed my mind” - “I wanted to see the world/Through your eyes until it happened/Then I changed my mind” - “I'm gonna kill you/If you don't beat me to it” - "Guess I lied/I'm a liar/Who lies/'Cause I'm a liar"

E - Memory Lane - “Your little house on memory lane ”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Angel in the snow/all crushed out on the way you are”

E - Last Call - “And I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me”

E - New Monkey - “For the millions of fans ignoring the bands”

E - Waltz #2 - “I'm never gonna know you now/But I'm gonna love you anyhow”

E - Amity - “I'm a neon sign and I stay open all the time”

P - Punisher - “The house where you lived with Snow White” - “But never not sweet to the trust funds and punishers” - “What if I told you/I feel like I know you?/But we never met” - “The drugstores are open all night/The only real reason I moved to the east side”

E - Some Song - “Yeah it's halloween tonight and every night”

E - Pitseleh - “I got a joke I've been dying to tell you/A silent kid is looking down the barrel/To make the noise that I kept so quiet”

P - Halloween - “Baby, it's Halloween” - “I hate living by the hospital/The sirens go all night/I used to joke that if they woke you up/Somebody better be dying”

E - Shooting Star - “So bad, so far/You made me sad/Shooting star/You're distant and cold/And a sight to behold/Everybody just sighs”

E - Satellite - “When they call it a lover's moon, the satellite/'Cause it acts just like lovers do, the satellite/A burned-out world you know/Staying up all night/The satellite”

E - Everything Reminds Me of Her - “Why are you staring into outer space, crying?/Just because you came across it and lost it”

P - Chinese Satellite - “Took a tour to see the stars/But they weren't out tonight/So I wished hard on a Chinese satellite” - “Sometimes, when I can't sleep/It's just a matter of time before I'm hearing things” b- “Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing/You know I hate to be alone/I want to be wrong”

E - Coast to Coast - “Still you're keeping me around/'Til I finally drag us both down (Gonna drag us both down)”

E - Little one - “The moonlight tonight/Seems to belong to me” - “One more/Little one, I love you”

E - Coming up Roses - “The moon is a sickle cell/It'll kill you in time” “While the moon does its division/You're buried below”

E - Everything Means Nothing to Me - “At attention, looking backward in a pool of water/Wishes with a blue songbird on his shoulder/Who keeps singing over everything”

E - Pretty Mary K (Other Version) - “oh Mary K, I can see your face/down there in the waves, painted and erased/but I know it's just a reflection of the moon”

P - Moon song - (52) “You asked to walk me home/But I had to carry you” - (53) “And if I could give you the moon/I would give you the moon” - (54) “You are sick and you're married/And you might be dying” - (55/56) “And you pushed me in/And now my feet can't touch the bottom of you” “But you're holding me like water in your hands/When you saw the dead little bird”

E - New Disaster - “Everybody is the same in this long no-win game/Where every new blood/Gets time to become resigned” - “Until everyone knows that your smile is just a ghost/The ghost of your smile was seen on a body in the park”

P - Savior Complex - “Baby, you're a vampire/You want blood and I promised” - “All the bad dreams that you hide/Show me yours, I'll show you mine”

E - Oh well, Ok - “If you get a feeling next time you see me/Do me a favor and let me know/Cause it's hard to tell, it's hard to say 'oh well, Ok'”

E - Last Call - “You're a tongueless talker/You don't care what you say”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Only a cold still life/ that fell down here to lay beside you”

P - ICU - (58) “But I feel something when I see you now/I feel something when I see you” - (59) “I hate your mom/I hate it when she opens her mouth/It's amazing to me/How much you can say/When you don't know what you're talking about” - “laying down on the lawn” “if you’re a work of art/I’m standing too close/I can see the brush strokes”

E - Happiness / The Gondola Man - “What I used to be/Will pass away and then you'll see/That all I want now/Is happiness for you and me”

E - Whatever (Folk Song in C) - “Whatever you're doing now would probably suit me fine/If you're all done, like you said you'd be/What are you doing hanging out with me?”

E - Big Ballad of Nothing - “You can do what you want to whenever you want to/You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you”

P - Graceland too - “Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment” - “Whatever she wants (Whatever you want)”

E - Bottle up and Explode “Bottle up and go/I can make it outside”

E - A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free - “God knows why my country don't give a fuck” - “Shine on me baby, because it's raining in my heart”

E - Alphabet Town - “Alphabet City is haunted”

P - I Know The End - “There's no place like my room” - “To some America First rap country song” “Driving out into the sun/Let the ultraviolet cover me up”- “I'll find a new place to be from/A haunted house with a picket fence”

#phoebe bridgers #elliott smith #playlist

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imagine-that-100 · 3 years

Text

Truth Serum

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Matty for quite a few years and he thinks he knows pretty much everything about you. Like how you’re always more honest when you’d had a drink and even more so when you’re tired too. But when a head injury and strong painkillers are added to that equation, for Matty it’s entertaining, but for you it’s a recipe for heartbreak.

Word Count: 9.7k

Warnings: A lil bit of angst but mostly fluff.

A/N: This was requested by @jagz72! Sorry it took so long but I got VERY carried away and just couldn't stop writing. I really hope you enjoy reading it, I definitely enjoyed writing it. I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year! This year has been amazing (on Tumblr) and I’ve connected with so many people on here it’s been really lovely making so many new friends. I’m wishing you all a wonderful 2021!

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated but most of all, thank you so much for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This really wasn’t how you hoped your day would go. But here you were, sitting on a hospital bed with a nurse shining a torch in your eyes making sure you were okay.

The reason you were here may be funny in the future when you tell it back to your kids or something. But right now, you were worried and so was the man that was holding your hand, who’d been the cause of your injury.

Matty had brought you to A&E as soon as the incident happened.

You'd been friends for 3 years, so it really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary these days when Matty popped by early in the morning. You knew he liked getting out of his house so his inability to sleep for long durations didn’t suffocate him.

After all, no one liked lying in bed wide awake when you knew you were meant to be asleep.

So, you’d given him a key many moons ago to try and help him combat that. You were a creative person, be that crafting or baking or painting.

You had it all.

So, his mind could run wild in your house and he’d yet to get bored. You’d woken up more than once to find him in your lounge, painting once but most of the time you found him trying to replicate your baking goods.

And he was really shit at it.

When he walked into your home this morning, you were already up and in the kitchen baking. Truthfully it was a surprise to see you up and about so early as it was only 6:30.

You didn’t sleep very well last night as you’d been out drinking with a few friends. You never really slept well after an alcohol filled night. It always left you really dehydrated and because you lived quite a bit out of London, not too far from Matty, you most of the time started with your hangover before you even got back home.

But that was the choice you made when you went into the city to drink.

So in theory Matty shouldn't have been surprised when he saw you already awake this morning. He knew you’d gone out and he knew what drinking did to you.

Matty quite liked when you got drunk with him, you were a really funny person and you pretty much had no filter when you had alcohol in your system. That was always fun for you all when you went out, and Matty loved the taxis back home with you on nights like that.

He always brought an extra drink in the taxi with him so your hangover wouldn’t start in the 30 minute drive back.

Matty had greeted you with a hug when he walked into your house and found that you were in the kitchen. You seemed really happy to see him too and you got to chatting about how Notes was coming along.

But it seemed that you and Matty let time get the better of you as Matty kept teasing you for practically still being drunk. The alcohol that was still present in your system obviously hadn’t worn off it’s truth serum effects yet and Matty liked to tease you about doing impulsive things, like baking cookies at 7:30 in the morning.

The next time Matty looked at the clock though, he was really late for a meeting. Your tired, tipsy, sleep deprived self had been quite entertaining leading him to forget that he had people to meet.

Jamie had called him double checking about the meeting that was meant to be starting at 8:45. But the time was now 9:22 and he still hadn’t showed up so Jamie, being the friendly manager he was, just called him up to check if he was okay.

“Oh fuck.” Matty curses looking at the caller ID and the time.

You look around at Matty worriedly and ask, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m meant to be at a meeting with Jamie and the lads right now.” Matty tells you, “I’ll be just a minute.”

Matty goes out of the kitchen to answer the call as he didn’t want to disturb your early morning baking. He didn't care if you could hear what he said or not he just didn't want to disturb your morning.

That and he was going to try and get out of the meeting so he could stay and eat all the cookies you’d yet to put in the oven.

Matty answers Jamie and profusely apologises for lacking manners to show up to a meeting on time. Thankfully, Jamie isn’t that fussed about it and suggests putting the meeting back as he was free until early afternoon.

Matty jumps at that chance.

But then Matty practically whips himself around with the intent to ask you how long it will take to bake the cookies so he’d know how long to push the meeting back, but he never gets that far. When Matty turns around, he barges his shoulder straight into you causing you to be pushed back.

You were just about to make your way past him to get your phone from where you’d put it on charge in your lounge earlier, but that was long forgotten when your head smacked off the corner of the wooden door frame behind you.

The bang to the back of your head shocked Matty to his core. You both stopped dead and looked at each other and as soon as Matty’s hands rested on your shoulders he kept apologising.

“Shit shit shit. Y/N are you okay?!” Matty asks, his hands flying to your shoulders to steady you, his phone still in his hand.

“I’m okay.” You tell him in shock, moving away from the door frame a little to hold the back of your head.

You could feel a lump forming already, but there was no blood, so you guessed you were alright. Matty quickly puts his phone to his ear to tell Jamie he’d call him back before he pockets his phone and holds your shoulders again.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn't know you were there, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Matty asks worriedly.

“Not your fault Matty.” You tell him, “I’m fine.”

Something which Matty doesn’t believe for a solid minute despite you assuring him that you were okay.

Once he relaxes a little, he pulls you into a hug as another way to apologise. You also relax and take your hand off the back of your head to hug him back, trying to assure him you’re okay. But you can’t help the curse that falls from your lips as you could already feel a headache coming on.

“Fuck me.” You say resting your forehead down on his shoulder.

His eyes go wide, “Really?” Matty questions in shock.

“No.” You say immediately, and Matty is about to laugh until you correct your statement to, “Well, not right now.”

Matty’s eyes widen, “What?”

You didn’t even say it in a sarcastic or joking way. Matty immediately felt the need to pry.

“My head hurts a little.” You whine into his shoulder, but he assumes it's to try and distract from the little slip up you just had.

And as much as Matty wanted to make your head better instantly he was shocked by what you said. So before he could stop himself he grins, “Tell me what you just said.”

“Matty I’m fine, go to your meeting.” You say picking your head up off his shoulder.

He looks into your Y/E/C eyes and they narrow as he asks if he hears correctly, “You said I couldn’t fuck you right now?”

“Yeah, so?” You shake your head as if you didn’t remember saying that.

Matty looks at you curiously, frowning a little as the thought had never really crossed his mind that you thought of him like that. “You want me to fuck you?”

“We’re not discussing this right now.” You shake your head again but Matty sees pain flash through your eyes. You hold the back of your head again and he can see you're actually in pain. “Matty, my head hurts.”

“I’ll get you some ice.” Matty says letting go of your waist and looking to your fridge freezer across the room.

Before he can move though you grab his arm and say, “No, go to your meeting.”

“You can’t just say you want me to fuck you and then tell me to go to a meeting Y/N.” Matty grins at you.

You close your eyes and sigh, “Matty.”

Matty’s grin gets bigger and he holds your waist again and teasingly says your name, “Y/N.”

“You shouldn’t be joking about this now...” You shake your head a little harder, “You just made me accidentally whack my head on the fucking door fra- oh... I feel dizzy.” You say and Matty’s heart goes in his throat when your eyes roll to the back of your head and you almost go limp in his arms.

“Shit.” Matty says, tightening his hold around you so you don't fall to the floor and hit your head again.

And that was how you ended up in A&E at 9:55 on a Friday morning.

“Okay so, you’re okay but you’ve had a moderate concussion and you're unfortunately going to be in pain for a day or two with it.” The nurse tells you when she stops shining the torch in your eyes.

“We will give you stronger painkillers than the ones you’ve already taken but with these you need to be woken up every two hours when you go to sleep tonight. Try and stay awake as long as possible today and then,” She looks to Matty, “You need to wake her a little every two hours. Not like getting up and about but she needs to respond or you call an ambulance.”

“Oh he’s n-” You start to correct her to wonder what you need to do for yourself because Matty wouldn’t be with you.

But Matty says, “Yeah course, I can do that.”

After the nurse told you and Matty what symptoms of things getting worse to look out for you picked up your prescription from the chemist. After that though you expected to go back home and try to relax your headache away but Matty refused to let you out of his sight because it was his fault you were in this state.

So Matty took you to his pushed back meeting and took you to the studio afterwards as he had to keep his eye on you. You weren’t chatty throughout it all, as you tried to keep yourself to yourself.

But that didn’t mean that you didn’t find the meeting fucking boring and you felt like you were intruding in the studio. But you did get another insight into their new album which was fun.

You tried to keep your mouth shut whilst you listened to it, liking to take in the lyrics but when you did you were a little shocked about it.

The song you were allowed to listen to today was Nothing Revealed/ Everything Denied and there were a few revelations in there that you weren't expecting. But you tried to keep that as quiet as you could because the strong painkillers mixed with the lack of sleep was also acting as another form of truth serum.

Since taking your painkillers early this afternoon, you’d been messy to say the least. You’d made a fool out of yourself when you complimented all of the other boys.

Earlier you basically told George earlier that you thought his tattoos were attractive. You told Ross that his hair was looking really good with it longer on top and you even accidentally moved it and styled it a tad for him. You forced yourself to not tell Adam that you found him hypnotic when he played the guitar.

“You have nice eyes” You tell Matty, but not actually meaning to, as you sat across from him at the cafe you’d gone to for lunch not far from the studio.

Matty glances back at you from the window then and he smiles, “Thank you”

He also feels the need to add, “You’ve got nice eyes too”

You seem to become a bit embarrassed then which makes Matty smile. You seem to disagree with his observation though and shake your head which confuses him a little, until you say, “I have boring eyes”

“Mine are literally the colour of this table Y/N” Matty says, pointing to the dark wood that your plates both rest on. “Not very interesting”

“They are interesting. They look like they see the world differently” You say honestly before looking back down to your food.

Matty watches as you eat then. It seemed like you didn’t mean to say that either because you went a bit shy again.

He decides to let this one slide but when you do it again he can’t help himself.

About 3 hours later, Matty was driving you both back home from the studio and he noticed that you were pretty silent in the car despite one of your favourite songs just being on the radio. Matty looks to you after the song finishes and notices your leaning your head on the window.

Your eyes were closed and you looked a bit better than earlier, so he asked you, “How you feeling, love?”

But you didn’t answer him and that makes him panic a little bit. He forgot you weren’t allowed to sleep.

“Hey Y/N/N” Matty says, flicking his eyes between you and the road and he shakes your shoulder.

“I’m tired Matty, leave me alone ” You say shrugging his hand away.

“No no no stay awake” Matty says pulling on your hair a little bit instead to try and annoy you awake.

He does it for a minute and he only stops when you pick your head up off the window. You shift in your seat and turn towards him so you’re now facing him properly and resting your temple on the headrest.

You close your eyes again but you know he’s right, so you ask, “Can you keep chatting to me to keep me awake because I don’t think I can do it on my own.”

“Fuck.” Matty chuckles.

You always told him to shut up. Never to keep talking.

“Have I broken you?” Matty chuckles a little looking back to the road.

“Not in the way I want you to break me.” Matty hears you whisper and his eyes go wide.

He sees that your eyes were closed again but this time you were curled up on the seat facing him. It didn’t even look like you knew what you just said.

He immediately turns his head and asks in shock, “Do you know you said that out loud?”

“I said that out loud?” You ask, your eyes open in shock.

“Yes Y/N.” Matty smirks glancing back at the road and then at you again.

You look mortified and you pull your phone out of your pocket and distract yourself on that. You don’t look at him as you say, “Well pretend I didn’t”

Matty wants answers though. “Y/N do you wa-“

But you interrupt with, “Matty when are you releasing Notes because I wanna play If You’re too Shy on repeat?”

“Y/N/N.” Matty tries again but you have none of it.

“Answer me.” You insist, evidently not wanting to revert back to what you said.

Matty gives in and estimates, “Like May-ish.”

“May?” You question in an annoyed sigh. “Matty you said it would be out last year.”

“Don’t believe what I say music wise.” Matty says looking back to the road now as you definitely weren’t going to go back to the topic of him ‘breaking you’. “I said that we were stopping the band after Notes remember and that’s changed.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why you ever said that. You belong on a stage”. You say as you scroll back through your phone.

“Thanks Darling” Matty grins, “Do you like watching me up on stage?”

He hopes to get another comment out of you like before. But he just gets a sarcastic, “Oh yeah Hun, you look like the drama queen you are.”

You’re good with your slip ups after that until late at night when you head up to bed with Matty following close behind joking about the ‘adult sleepover’ you were having. He’d insisted he was staying and doing the checks on you every two hours.

You were fine with that as he’d stayed in your bed before when the both of you had passed out mid movie nights, but the jokes you could do without. Especially when your lips were speaking so freely from the meds you were on and the lack of sleep in your system.

“You hurt me Matthew, you should be taking care of me not asking me to shag you” You say before heading into your bathroom to get changed after throwing a pair of joggers his way.

When you re-enter your bedroom, you see Matty already under your duvet and you give him a hug once you lie yourself down beside him.

“You’re never this touchy with me” Matty says a minute into the hug that's practically turned into a cuddle.

“Because I don’t know if you like me touching you.” You say as you let go of him and grab the pillow under your head to bring it between you so you could hug it as you drifted off to sleep.

But you leave Matty confused then. You were never the touchy type in general and in the time he’d known you, he’d never seen you with the boyfriend you had when you initially met so he didn’t even know if you were a cuddly person in a relationship.

“You don’t like anyone touching you.” Matty says after your eyes had been closed for a few seconds.

You don’t open them back up again, not even when you admit, “I like you touching me.”

It makes Matty once again freeze as he wasn’t expecting your honesty. And he certainly wasn’t expecting you to continue with, “Makes my day when you give me a hug or kiss my cheek or give me a loving headlock, even if your hair does tickle my face when you do it.”

You chuckle a little at the end of your sentence which leads Matty to do as well, at both your honesty and the comment about his hair. The way you’re smiling into your pillow is also impossible for Matty now to smile at.

“I love your hair, you know?” You tell him, still keeping your eyes closed.

Matt smiles at the fact your filter seems to be completely gone at this point. So Matty feels the need to compliment you back.

“I love your hair.” Matty tells you, tucking a strand of it that had fallen onto your face behind your ear. He tells you honestly, “I like messing with it”

“Mhhh” You hum with a smile. You add in a whisper, “I like it when you pull on it.”

Matty is once again taken aback by your statement and this time he can’t let it go. The teasing remarks that you’d been accidently letting slip all day had to have meant something, or you wouldn’t look so sheepish after you said them.

Like just now you were cuddling yourself into your pillow more than you already had been and Matty just couldn’t bring himself to let it go. Yeah it may not be the time for such a conversation at 1:48am but here you both were.

And Matty had to know.

So after a silent minute he said, “Y/N”

“What?” You ask softly.

“You know I can hear you whispering?”

“Maybe you were meant to.” You tiredly suggest, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Where’s this all coming from?” Matty asks, a little amused as you never gave out compliments unless it was about his music.

The music was something you never joked about but you always did with him and the rest of the band.

Matty watches as you internally battle with yourself on what to reply. But it seems the truth ends up being your easiest option despite you sighing before you start.

“I think I like you a lot Matty.” You tell him and it shocked the curly haired man to his soul. You carry on, your eyes still closed, “And once I slipped up I couldn’t stop myself from carrying on.”

Matty struggles to find words for a moment there. He didn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this.

“I think about you all the time when I’m not supposed to…” You trail off for a moment there leaving the room in silence. Something which then leads to you add in a sad tone, “And I get it if you leave... I wouldn’t like me either but I’m sick of hiding it now.”

Matty stumbles again but he just about manages to ask, “Ho- How long...? Have you liked me?”

“I think I noticed after George’s party” You say thinking back to three months ago.

“Why?” Matty asks, not remembering anything significantly different about that night compared to the others you’ve shared together.

“Because you’re you” You say simply.

Matty frowns a little then, not annoyed he doesn’t think, but maybe a little disappointed. He didn’t want people to like him because he was Matty Healy from The 1975 anymore.

Matty wanted that left behind in 2015. That’s why he’d had the long relationship with Gabby and that was why he’d only been out with very few people since her, Twigs being the only one that got a little serious. But all of them eventually fizzled out for different reasons.

Matty just didn’t want people to want him because of who he was on stage or who the media presented him as anymore. He was done with it... completely and utterly-

“You always make me laugh by pulling a face when I’ve had a bad day at work.” You carry on after those few seconds of silence, and you continue on to say, “You know my shit and you tease me about it but in a fun loving sorta way. You tuck your hair behind your ear when you're nervous which is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I get jealous when you do it to other girls and not me, but that’s fine. And my heart goes rapid when you tell me a cheesy joke because you decided to tell it me first. And I find myself wanting you to be around all the time even if it’s the middle of the night.”

You finish off your tired rambling leaving Matty on the opposite side of your bed completely stunned. So much so that the man who always has something to say is left speechless.

Nothing coming out of his mouth even if he could think of something to say. You have completely stunned him.

He is so desperately trying to think of a way to reply to you that he doesn’t realise how much time passes. The only thing that rips him out of his thoughts are your next soft words.

“Am I allowed to go to sleep now or do I have to stay awake?” You question in a whisper, your voice thick with tiredness.

Matty looks at your soft stunning features and just about manages to whisper back, “You can sleep... But don’t you want me to tell you how I’m feeling?”

You shake your head into your pillow and Matty listens intently when you say, “I’d rather have ten more minutes of us being friends without it being awkward and then I can wake up tomorrow and cry when you’re not there and don’t want to be my friend anymore.”

And just that sentence alone breaks Matty's heart. He assures you, “I’m never going to not be your friend”

Because no matter what happened tomorrow he didn’t want to lose you. You’d always been such a good friend, there was no way Matty was ever going to let that go.

“But you’re not going to be close with me anymore because you know I like you.” You say, your voice full of melancholy. But you for some reason feel the need to assure him, “And that’s okay. I wouldn’t like me either... But thank you for being my friend for as long as you have.”

“Y/N” Matty starts but you don’t let him finish.

“Goodnight Matty. Talk in the morning.” You say, “But if you go, I understand. I won’t bother you anymore.”

“I’m n-” Matty tired again but your tired voice interrupts once more.

“Thanks for everything Matty.” You say giving him a smile, your eyes still closed but you must have known he was watching you.

That night Matty didn’t sleep a wink. You were all he could think about. He lay on the other side of your bed for hours trying to process everything you said.

He couldn’t believe it. He was really shocked by your honesty just before you went to sleep but as you spoke he could physically see your body relax. As if it was a weight of your shoulders which he guessed it must have been.

Matty took the hours he lay awake and processed everything about yours and his friendship through his mind. And there were so many happy memories.

Matty didn't even get through the first year before his 2 hour alarm went off on his apple watch and he stirred you a bit to make sure you were still alive. He of course knew you were but when you hummed a little in response to him calling your name that was enough for Matty to let you rest again.

Matty went over every single thing he could remember in his mind. The highs and the lows of the last 3 years in your presence and he was smiling throughout most of it.

Sometimes his thoughts got away with him so much he had to put the TV you had in your room on to distract him. The volume stayed on low but he had to distract himself because not getting a chance to talk to you left him wanting to wake you up and talk everything through.

But he knew you’d had a shit night’s sleep the previous day and the bump on your head had left you really tired. So he couldn’t deprive you the rest you definitely needed.

But now it was 7:36 and Matty couldn’t just lie in bed next to you anymore. He had to go do something.

~*~*~*~

You woke up the next morning afraid to open your eyes. You were petrified.

Of course you remembered everything that had been said the night before and you knew if you opened your eyes and saw the guy you fancied beside you that your friendship at the very least would be okay. But if you opened your eyes to see an empty bed, you know you fucked it completely.

So that was why you kept your eyes closed for 5 minutes once you woke up. You could hear your TV playing music from the other side of the room so you never heard Matty breathing. But there was a reason for that.

Because when you opened your eyes, you found an empty bed.

Your heart sank and immediately tears came to your eyes. You knew you shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have told him anything.

Now you’d lost your good friend and probably the rest of the band on the way. By the time you sat up and walked into your bathroom, the tears were freely streaming down your face.

You didn’t even try to stop them. You just let them fall and got in the shower so you could cry to your heart’s content.

Your chest hurt. It hurt in a way it hadn’t for a long time because you’d not let anyone in like you’d accidentally let Matty in.

And of course he wasn’t interested in you. Why would he be?

You were no Halsey or Gabby or FKA Twigs. You were no one’s love of their life, but you thought Matty might have been yours.

It was so stupid of you to think like that.

You hoped the 20 minute shower would have been enough time to settle your heartache but apparently it wasn’t. You were still crying long after you turned the water off and you got yourself dry.

You cried as you blow dried your hair, you cried as you changed into your comfort pair of joggers (the ones you’d loaned Matty last night) and your massively baggy hoodie. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing which meant that the pressure behind your eyes started to hurt your head.

You turned the TV off but that didn’t help. So you went downstairs to get yourself a drink and some painkillers as your injury from yesterday wasn’t helping either.

But when you opened your kitchen door the bang of something hitting the worktop didn’t help either. You push the door open fully and we’re shocked to see your kitchen in an absolute state with Matty standing there in his clothes from yesterday with a tray full of unbaked cookies in his hand.

“What are you doing?” The words come out of your mouth as you look at the state that your kitchen was in.

There’s baking goods everywhere and from the things that were out you couldn’t tell if he was making bread or some sort of cake. You were very confused but your curly haired friend also looked confused.

He didn’t turn to look at you as he was trying to make sure the cookies that were on the tray didn’t roll off as he put them in the oven. He opened up the now very hot contraption and once they were in and the door was shut he quickly put a timer on his phone to check them after a while.

“I’m trying to make you some cookies. But you know yours are always going to be better than mine because the first batch I tried I put icing sugar instead of cast- what’s wrong?” Matty asks, finally turning to look at you.

When he did, he saw that your eyes were swollen and your cheeks were puffy and your eyes were all bloodshot. He threw the oven glove to the side not caring where it went and walked over to you, “Why are you crying?”

You withdraw then and look down away from him. The ball immediately rises back to your throat and the tears that had just briefly stopped are threatening to flow again.

“Y/N/N” Matty takes your hand so you can’t move away again.

You shake your head and look down to the ground. You just about managed to get out, “Doesn’t matter”

“Course it matters, you’re upset” Matty says but you just shake your head and don’t look at him.

But that doesn’t mean he can see the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Come here” He says, pulling you into a hug and you truly didn’t realise how much you needed it.

You inhale a very shaky breath which hurts Matty’s heart so he asks again, running a hand up and down your back, “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”

You don’t have the energy to make up a lie so you just tell him the truth.

“You weren’t there when I woke up. I thought I lost you” You whisper but your voice comes out in a much higher octave than usual as you’re trying not to fully sob again.

Matty pulls away from the hug but keeps you close. Both his hands come up to cup your face and his thumbs brush away your tears and he says softly, “Don’t cry”

“Matty I’ve been crying for the better part of an hour, you telling me to stop won’t just make it happen” You half laugh half whine.

Your emotions were everywhere. You couldn’t believe he was still here. You still weren’t to be fair, you were half sure you were dreaming.

“You really think I would just leave you?” Matty asks with a tiny frown as he again wipes another tear away.

“Well yeah.” You shrug a little pathetically before carrying on in a pained voice, ”You don’t owe me anything. I’m just some girl you know. I’m not one important, so why would you stay?”

“Because you’re so much more than that you’ve just said.” Matty tells you honestly. His heart hurting that you thought of yourself like that.

“You don’t have to pretend.” You shake your head, ”I’m a big girl, I can handle rejection.”

Matty can’t believe you don’t get it.

“Y/N/N I’m standing in your house trying to bake you cookies, comforting you, I always flirt with you and I have done for ages… And you still think I want someone else?” Matty asks, wiping your tears away.

”No.“ Matty confirms, ”Yeah, you shocked me last night because you’ve never ever given me the slightest inkling that you liked me but when you started, it all fits Y/N.”

Matty continues to shock you with, “Why do you think I said ‘really’ yesterday when you said ‘fuck me’? I didn’t mean to say that just like you didn’t mean to say ‘not right now’.”

Matty grins as he finishes explaining, “But your you. You never let me get a word in edgeways which most of the time I love, but yesterday you didn’t let me get a chance to say that I fancy the fuck out of you.”

Your eyes go wide and you immediately shake your head, “No you don’t”

“Believe me I do.” Matty assures you, but you still don’t look like you believe him, “I don’t think you understand just how much though.”

“Because you don’t fancy me Matty. Stop trying to be nice” You shake your head and go to turn around but Mattys hand finds your hip and stops you turning.

Matty tells you honestly, “I’d say I’ve fancied you since we were out at that bar months ago and The Sound came on and you were dancing to it singing it to us.”

Matty grins as he continues, “And you did that thing I do on stage for the playing with yourself lyrics and I fully gulped. And then you pulled me up to dance with you and I loved listening and watching you sing my song at me.”

“A little narcissistic of you that Matty” You can’t help but say as you wipe away the tears that had sneaked down your eyes.

“Well it's lucky you like me anyway so I don’t even have to pretend it’s not.” Matty grins tucking a strand of your messy bed hair behind your ear. “Plus you looked really fucking good in those leather pants and you had the cutest most excited look on your face when you got me up dancing”

You giggle a little then and you half smile at him trying to make the tears stop. Matty helps with that by gently brushing his thumb over the bow sensitive skin under your eyes.

“So my beautiful and wonderful Y/N…” Matty likes the way you smile when he says that, “You need to stop crying because today I planned on wooing my best friend with cookies in exchange for a kiss and later on I was gunna get on my knees and beg my best friend to go out with me.”

You grin as you joke, “George is a lucky boy, isn’t he?”

“Shut up” Matty giggles.

You whisper a little, with a grin on your face, “Especially lucky for the get on your knees part.”

He gives you a knowing look then, but he just grins and asks, “How’s the head injury? Still making you spill your secrets I see”

You smile a little but only answer his question, “My head hurts from crying so it’s not a lot better.”

“Please stop crying.” Matty begs, ”I’d never leave you especially after that. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in bed, I just wanted to do something for you because you never got to finish making the cookies yesterday”

“You’re cute” You smile.

Matty mirrors it, “So are you.”

You smile at him and your eyes flick between both of his. He looked so gorgeous, yet so sleep deprived.

You're about to ask him about his sleep but Matty gets a question in there before you. “Can I kiss you now?”

Your eyes go wide, “No.”

“I feel vile, I’m all disgusting” You add sniffling a bit because you were all bunged up.

“Y/N you know how disgusting I am, do you really think I care?” Matty chuckles a little, again wiping away a stray tier.

You look into those gorgeous eyes and tell him, “I care”

Matty just pouts, looking down to your lips, “I wanna kiss you.”

You smile at his eagerness but softly plead, “Please wait until I’ve stopped crying.”

“Fine.” Matty says, “You win this one” and then he kisses your forehead.

You smile at the contact and Matty pulls you into a hug which you greatly appreciate. You tightly hug him back and you sort of melt into his warm body.

You feel another kiss being placed to the top of your head and you smile feeling that. “Come on Darling, gotta give you more of that truth serum” Matty says, knowing you needed more painkillers.

You giggle then but you pause when you recognise a familiar smell. You pull out of the hug and say, “Matty the cookies”

Matty immediately smelled the burning batch then too. He rushed his way over to your oven then saying, “Shit shit shit”

~*~*~*~

After the burnt cookies made it out of the oven and you helped him with a normal batch, you spent the day together. Him still looking after you like he did yesterday but this time he was overtly flirting with you all day.

You had to admit that you did love it. The fact he actually liked you back was something you were still a little shocked by but by the time you were sitting down eating your lunch together you’d talked through things a lot.

Matty had told you that he wanted to take you out later to a bar for some quiet drinks, and he said he had every intention of kissing you when he brought you back. You tried not to show how that made you feel bit Matty knew how you hid things so when he cupped your cheeks and felt how hot they were he teased you about being silently on board with the idea.

But the more you thought about actually going out with him, the more you wished it didn’t happen whilst you had a head injury. The last thing you wanted was to go out to a bar and have noisy people around you.

Matty himself was a handful sometimes and if you were honest you didn’t really want to get yourself ready to go out in public. You’d rather just stay in with the man himself.

So you thought you’d ask if he’d put a pin in the idea for now.

“Matty” You say once you come back into the lounge. As you sit yourself down on the settee beside him you ask, “You know how you said you’d get on your knees and ask me out later?”

Matty gives you a little playful grin then and answers, “Yeah?”

“Can you do that maybe in a day or two?” You ask him a little hesitantly. You also explain, “I still don’t feel all that great and I’d like to enjoy our date when we go out.”

“Thought you’d like me on my knees for you?” Matty teases a bit, shuffling himself a little closer to you.

You’re both facing each other on the settee now. The side of your heads are resting against the back of the cushioned surface and you’re just smirking at each other.

You run your tongue over your bottom lip as his playful look continues. Despite the teasing remark though, you continue with your honesty.

“I’d probably love it a lot more when I don’t have a splitting headache and I’ve not been crying all morning.” You grin and Matty chuckles a little before resting a hand on your knee.

“That’s fine” Matty smiles, letting his hand rub your knee soothingly. “What would you like to do instead?”

You quite liked that he didn’t want to leave despite you postponing the date. It gave you more assurance that he was still interested, even though he’d assured you several times now that he was.

You suggest, “Netflix?”

“And chill?” Matty suggests with a teasing smirk.

You can’t help but laugh, “We will see.”

The rest of the day surprisingly goes pretty fast. That may have been yours and Matty’s weird thing around each other though because whenever you were together it seemed like time just flew by.

You both went on a walk around the park near where you lived as a way to break up the day. It was a walk filled with Matty now being very cheeky with you and he found every excuse to put his hands on you.

The most memorable time being when you were standing in the queue at the little cafe that was there so you could get yourselves a sandwich. His arms had snaked around your waist from behind and he pulled you into him for everyone to see.

His touchiness didn’t even die down when you got to the lady who was serving. If anything he was even more attentive to you as he called you ‘Darling’ and ‘Babe’ when he was asking what food and drink you wanted.

The lady serving you seemed amused by your first ‘lovers quarrel’ over who was paying for what. Something which Matty ended up doing because he wasn’t taking no for an answer. You’d be sure to buy him something at some point to make up for it though.

But before either of you knew it you were curled up together on your settee with the lights on low as you watched your films. They weren’t anything intense, they were just shitty comedies like Zoolander and Step Brothers. Just films that you could chat over but then also pay attention to if you wanted a break from the chatting.

You don’t really know how you got into the position but in this moment in time you were curled up against Matty with your legs over his and he had his head on your shoulder as you watched the film. It was needless to say you felt so much better than you did this morning.

Maybe you should have been honest from the get go and you could have been experiencing this for a lot longer. You certainly looked forward to the cute innocent cuddles you’d have in the future as Matty had made it clear he was interested.

You must have got lost in your head for a moment though, because Matty’s lips gently meeting your neck was something that brought you straight back to reality. It was just a gentle peck which made you smile towards the TV and you just carried on playing with his hair like he’d not done anything.

But then he did it again for a little longer and then again a little bit higher up your neck. It was only when Matty carried on his little adventure that your fingers laced into his hair to encourage him.

You felt him grin into your neck then and he slowly worked his way up your neck like a teenager exploring that section of skin for the first time. You of course tilted your head to the side to give him more room and you both had a little giggle at that both being fully aware of what the other was doing.

When Matty started nipping on your neck you let your eyes close to bask in the sensations he was bringing to you. You felt like it was ten times better than what anyone else had done before, but maybe that was because you really fancied him.

Whatever the reason though, you didn’t want his lips to stop. And thankfully they didn’t.

Matty teased your neck until he was itching to kiss your lips. So much so that he silently pleaded to himself that you’d let him now your tears had long dried up.

“Can I please kiss you properly now?” Matty asks against your neck after another minute of the sweet torture.

You pull on his hair so his lips detached from your neck and when he looked up at you and his sweet brown eyes met yours. You nodded a, “Yes please”

And Matty didn’t need to be told twice.

Matty’s pillowy lips meet yours and you instantly melt. The nervousness that you felt building before every first kiss you’d ever had was gone and you let yourself enjoy it.

For Matty it was everything he hoped it would be. Your soft lips meeting for kisses every single time and when you brought your hand up to cup his face it was indication that you liked it enough for it to continue.

Your lips moved against each other’s almost cautiously as you both softly go in for the kisses you’d been starving yourselves of all day. Even though they were sweet and innocent, you couldn’t help your heart beating erratically in your chest.

You think it meant more to you because you liked him and have done for a while. Kisses like this weren’t the same as the ones you get when you were after a quick pull at a club. These meant something and the fact you were both gentle and almost hesitant with them proved that.

After a minute you both pull away, Matty pressing his forehead against yours so you could feel his curls tickle your face but you didn’t mind in the slightest. Your hands had chosen to cup his cheek and his neck so you really weren’t that fussed about his curls, if anything you welcomed them now you knew he didn’t mind you being close.

In this pause to catch your breaths you never really lost, Matty decided to tell you with a grin, “You’ll be pleased to know I definitely like you”

You giggle at that and let your fingers lace back into his curls before saying, “You’re a cheesy fucker” before you pull him in to meet your lips again.

It was less hesitant from both of you this time as the joke caused you both to smile into it a little. But it gets a little more forward after that.

They were more confident kisses this time which was slowly setting your skin on fire. And you both got that into them that the next time you knew what was going on you were leaning backwards with Matty’s lips still meeting yours meaning he was slowly trapping you between him and the settee.

Thankfully there were definitely worse places to be trapped. You would choose this form of imprisonment every time.

When Matty deepened the kiss it caused the both of you to whimper a bit. Mostly because of the way you pulled on his curls to encourage it and the fact that Matty’s hand had found your hip and he held you against him tightly.

The kisses only got braver from then on. Both of you now fully getting off on your settee with absolutely no intention of stopping anytime soon.

The only time you pause is when it’s getting a little intense for you because the lump on the back of your head was pressed into the harder part of the arm of the settee. So the next time Matty’s lips trail down your neck to allow you both to get some air, you let him know in your own sarcastic way.

“Matty” You half whine, loving the way he was kissing your neck now.

“Yes baby?” Matty asks and the pet name causes your stomach to flip. Hearing that fall from his lips in the position you were both in definitely felt good.

“I know I'm a good kisser and everything so it's not a shock I’m clouding your mind, but I had a head injury yesterday and you kissing me the way you are is pushing my head into the settee and it’s starting to hurt again.” You ramble honestly keeping your fingers tightly laced into his curls.

Matty chuckles into your neck then before placing one last kiss there for now. He then leans up and pecks your lips once more.

“Sorry baby” Matty says, pulling you up into a different position. You're straddling his hips then and Matty leans back against the settee with a grin plastered onto his lips, “This better for you?”

“Cocky little shit, aren’t you?” You laugh shaking your head at him.

Matty laughs too but he backchats, “Says you… You’re the one that just said your kisses were that good they left me with no memory”

“Well” You grin, pecking his lips teasingly once more before saying, “I’m speaking from experience”

“Come here” Matty says shaking his head, pulling you back down to him with the hand that cups your neck and you note a playful grin on his lips, “We will see whos mind goes foggy”

You end up kissing him like that for a long while just enjoying this new dynamic with each other. You had to admit to yourself that he was a really good kisser, but that shouldn’t really have surprised you, his tongue was out a lot in the Love Me video and he had it out half the time when he teased the crowd when he was on stage.

He definitely knew how to use it.

After the both of you calmed yourselves down, you cuddled yourselves up against each other much like earlier on as you carried on watching another shitty comedy. You watched them into the night again and you only noticed you half dozed off when you felt a soft kiss being pressed to your neck again.

“Matty” You murmur after feeling another lone tired kiss against the skin on your neck.

He must pick up on what you’re about to suggest because he asks, “Can I stay again?”

You nod and say, “Course”

You wanted to kiss and cuddle him for a lot longer than you already had been doing.

“Let’s go to bed, love” Matty says, picking his head up out of your neck and pecks your lips once more.

It leaves a warm feeling in your chest as you turn everything off downstairs before heading to bed.

When you get up to your room Matty’s arm travels around your waist and he hugs you into him. You lean back against him and smile at the feeling of his curls against your skin as he nuzzles himself into your neck again.

“You smell really good” He tells you before placing a kiss to the place where your neck meets your shoulder.

You grin at that, “Thanks, I think it’s just you though. All I can smell is your aftershave”

“Don’t feed the narcissism Darling” Matty spins you around then, “Take the compliment.”

You giggle before you kiss him again, this time with no hesitation at all. Your fingers lace into his curly locks and you pull on it hungrily to keep him close as he continues to walk you back into your bedroom.

They are just playful kisses coming from the both of you. Nothing too intense at all.

You like the feeling of Matty’s arms wrapped around your lower back pulling you into his body. You like the fact that he wanted you close, because you wanted him just the same.

You both pull away giggling a little when Matty almost trips the both of you over from moving towards your bed a little too fast. But thankfully it just ends in a playful, “Need to slow down. I’d feel bad if I gave you another concussion”

“I get it… I’ve wanted to kiss you for ages

“Well you can kiss me whenever you want” Matty grins pulling you down to straddle his lap which you do.

“Good to know” You giggle before kissing his pillowy lips again.

After a few more kisses, you’re both very aware of the tiredness creeping its way into your systems despite the new sensations you’re both getting from your lips attacking the others.

“Y/N/N, Darling, you’ve got my joggers on” Matty grins knowing that they are what you gave him to wear last night.

You grin, “You’re right” and then you get up off his lap and grab yourself some new pyjamas from your drawer.

“I can only apologise mister Healy” You say with a smirk as you push them down your legs and step out of them.

Matty wasn’t exactly expecting you to strip in front of him tonight but the fact your gorgeous legs were on display to him for a minute he didn’t stop himself from looking. Your very oversized hoodie now acts as a dress as it hides your underwear from his gaze.

Matty just couldn't take his eyes away from your legs though. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you in a skirt or a dress so actually seeing you in front of him like that just led to new thoughts circling his mind. Or his mind was until you hastily picked them up and launched the scrunched up joggers at his head.

“Ey” Matty called back playfully, holding the joggers in his hands now.

You point to your eyes and silently tell him that is where they are with a knowing grin on your lips. Matty can only press his lips together as an apology before you head to your bathroom to change again like you did the night before.

He didn’t need to get everything on the first day.

After changing and doing your nightly routine you come back to your bedroom to find Matty changed into your joggers and no top like last night and you don’t shy your eyes away from his tattoos this time when he walks past you to use the bathroom himself. Matty catches you looking but he doesn’t comment on it and at this point you don’t really care.

When he gets in bed beside you and he pulls you in to cuddle him you bring him out of his thoughts, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Course” Matty says, not having anything to hide from you. Especially if you were going to work out in the end, and he had every intention of you both working out.

“Do you really not try? Because I always thought you would be the opposite” You ask him curiously, more truths spilling from your lips thanks to your meds.

Matty asks curiously, “Not try what?” brushing your hair behind your ear so he could see your cute face.

But pout, a little embarrassed, “Don’t make me say it.”

“I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.” Matty chuckles, looking at how shy you’d all of a sudden become.

“In your song yesterday.” You say and it brings Matty a bit more clarity on what you were asking, “You said you lied and you’d never fucked in a car”

Matty grins knowing exactly what you were asking now, but he teases, “So what’s your question?”

“You know my question, why are you making me say it?” You chuckle, getting more flustered with each passing second.

Matty leans down and pecks your lips once before he tells you, “Because you’re cute when you get embarrassed.”

You sigh and whine into his neck, needing to hide when you ask, “Do you actually just lie down and not try?”

“See” Matty chuckles, “Wasn’t that hard to say, was it?”

“Just answer my question.” You whine embarrassed that your stupid fucking meds just let you ask anything under the sun.

“Why don’t you just wait and find out?” Matty giggles, pulling your out of his neck a little bit.

He found it very cute that that was the only thing you got out of his song when you were drugged up the previous day. At least you’d told him you liked it though.

“Because I’m nervous now. I thought you’d be the opposite.” You say honestly, “And after earlier I’m confused”

“Why are you nervous?” Matty asks looking into your gorgeous Y/E/C eyes, wanting you to feel comfortable with him, “We aren’t doing anything right now.”

“I know.” You say, and then shrug, “Guess you just spoil my fantasies by saying you haven’t fucked in a car.”

“We can fuck in a car if you like?” Matty teasingly offers before leaning in to kiss you again. He mumbles against your lips, “It won’t be a fantasy then.”

You giggle at that but don’t hesitate to kiss him back. When he pulls away you keep him close and as your nose brushes against his, you suggest, “One step at a time, ey?”

Matty loves the little eskimo kiss you’re giving him enough to carry it on for a few more seconds after he nods in response to your suggestion. God you were so cute, he was very lucky that you liked him.

“Can I keep you on these drugs?” Matty questions, “They make you very truthful.”

You roll your eyes when he says, “Quite like you complimenting me and asking me questions you wouldn’t usually. It feeds the ego more.”

You giggle at that.

“Don’t really have much to hide from you anymore.” You tell him truthfully.

Matty wants a little confirmation, surprised by you saying that, “No?”

“Nope” You grin.

“I’m quite glad you like me Darling” Matty says, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear.

“I’m glad you like me back Hun” You grin and kiss him again.

The sweet kiss lasts for a couple of seconds before Matty pulls away so you’re both cuddled against each other again now. You definitely liked being close to him and you were glad he was the cuddly type.

But then he makes a joke that makes you playfully smack his chest as you giggle. Of course, your Matty jokes, “Can’t wait to tell our kids you asked me to fuck you and then fainted”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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