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crucifiedfaerie · 6 months

Text

Nicotine Stains Pt. 1 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: Your older brother's best friend seems to have everyone fooled. Everyone but you, that is.

➴ Part Two

➴ Word Count: 5k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, slowburn, modern!delinquent!kylo au, virgin!reader, drug use, smoking, swearing, kylo breaking traffic laws for some pussy, kylo is a pretentious prick, why is kylo lowkey midwestern emo in this, mutual pining, finn my beloved is mentioned, some angst, fluff, SMUT (protected PiV sex, again reader is a virgin, fingering, a little scratching, slow n gentle sex, softdom!kylo, consent king !!, praise kink, pet names), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams )

A/N: this may or may not be the most pretentious thing ive ever written but idc. also i want to give a special thank you and shout out to my beautiful mutual liv @enviedear for this idea! she totally helped me flesh out the modern!delinquent!kylo character and this fic would not exist without her. <;3 (also reader is NOT me bc if kylo ren played slipknot for me in his 1969 charger i'd fold immediately)

You sat at your desk, studying for your upcoming midterms and nervously chewing on the inside of your mouth. Mathematics had never been your strong suit and despite only being a month and a half into the semester, your calculus class was stressing you out to no end. The rhythmic ticking of your clock was not helping in the slightest, so you reached for your headphones.

This class is taking years off of my life for sure.

As you looked for a good playlist, you heard your bedroom window open behind you. You yelped, turning in your chair to face your window. Your panic died when you realized it was only Kylo, your older brother's friend.

Once he was finally inside, he shut your window before standing up straight. Kylo was probably the tallest person you knew, almost touching the low ceiling of your bedroom. You couldn't deny how your stomach did flips when you were stood next to him, not to mention he was absolutely fucking beautiful. Kylo's features looked like they were carved from marble and his long, dark hair always fell perfectly around his face. If he weren't so goddamn annoying, you'd like him a lot more.

You groaned. "When are you gonna stop coming in through my window you asshole?"

"It isn't my fault your window is the most accessible and the lock is broken." He smirked.

Your eyes narrowed as you glared at him. "The least you could do is knock, what if I like... had a guy over or something?"

Kylo laughed, walking over to you. He turned you in your desk chair to face your computer and pushed it in, before leaning down over your shoulder to look at your screen. "I think we both know that doesn't happen, kid." He jabbed before making his way to your door.

Your face felt hot, his audacity never failed to make you seethe. And his choice of nickname for you only made you madder. You turned to glare at him. "You fucker- I- you're only like 3 years older than me!??"

You heard him laugh as he walked out of your room and down the hallway.

What made it worse was that it seemed he had everyone in your family fooled. Kylo acted like an absolute angel in front of your mother, and it pissed you off to no end. When he would come over for dinner, he always insisted on helping her with the dishes. He would make conversation with her, crack jokes, go the whole nine yards as if he weren't a college dropout and also doing drugs with her son on the side.

Your mom, being the stereotypical Christian, midwestern mother that she is, would always say things along the lines of "Oh Kylo, you're such a sweet boy. It amazes me that someone like you listens to such angry music." He would just blush and laugh it off.

Kylo drove a black 1969 Dodge Charger R/T that he would pull up to your house in, blasting the loudest possible music. Your dad loved him, and they would always talk cars when they got the chance. The first time you came home and saw your dad helping Kylo change his oil, you thought you had died and gone to hell. You just stared as Kylo smirked at you. That stupid, evil smirk you were so used to seeing.

They can't possibly be serious?? How do they not see how much of a jerk he is?

You however, he was much different with. Any chance Kylo got to annoy you, he would do it. He frequently stood outside your door for god knows how long, just waiting for you to come out so he could scare you. You would jump and yell expletives at him before weakly punching him in the shoulder. He and your brother would just laugh, thinking it was funniest thing in the world.

You sighed, staring at your computer screen. You were over studying for the night. You shut your door, before turning off the light and getting into bed. You tried to sleep, but couldn't. The stress of college was slowly suffocating you but despite that, you couldn't seem to get Kylo out of your head.

Sure, you have had a slight crush on him since you were in middle school, I mean who wouldn't? Look at him. But it didn't mean anything, the feeling was almost certainly not mutual and he was still the biggest asshole you'd ever met.

God I fucking hate him... I mean I don't, but I do.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping at your door. Your brow furrowed. "Yeah?"

Kylo opened your door slowly, making sure it didn't creak as he closed it behind him. "What are you still doing awake, its 3am. Don't you have classes tomorrow?" He whispered, fumbling with your window.

You rolled your eyes, still staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. What do you care?"

He smirked slightly, swinging one leg out the window before looking at you. "Finn asked me to pick you up tomorrow. What time are you off?"

Fucking fantastic.

"Oh, great." You said sarcastically. "2:30pm. The math and science building."

He ducked through the open window, and stuck his head back inside your room to look at you. "See you at 2:30 then." He smirked, before exiting again and shutting your window, leaving you in the dark.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

The following afternoon, you sat in your calculus class zoning out and unable to keep your mind off Kylo. You would never admit it, not even to yourself, but you were definitely daydreaming. You were thinking about how soft his hair always looks and how it might feel to run your fingers through it.

You didn't realize your professor had called on you until he said your name for a second time, repeating his question. You sat up straight before looking down, your eyes scanning your paper. "Oh um- the answer is... x equals three fourths." Your face felt warm.

"That's correct. Lets try to be more focused, though." Your professor sighed, before continuing his lecture. You nodded quickly, looking down at your paper.

As you walked to the parking lot, your palms felt sweaty. You'd been in Kylo's car only a couple times before and it was a long time ago. The recent nagging thoughts you had been having about him didn't quell your nervousness either. You spotted his car quickly, and made your way to the passenger side.

When you opened the door, his music blared so loud, you thought his speakers might blow out. You sat your bag on the floor of his car before getting in and shutting the door.

Kylo was smirking when you turned to glare at him. You reached over and turned the dial down halfway and he laughed.

"Too loud for you princess?" He said sarcastically, leaning over to look behind him as he backed out of the parking lot.

You rolled your eyes and buckled your seatbelt, smoothing out your skirt with your hands. "Too loud for most people. Can I play something?"

Kylo scoffed, that stupid smirk still on his face. "Fuck no, you can't play your music in my car."

"Whatever." You crossed your arms, staring straight ahead.

After a few minutes of silence, Kylo finally spoke. "Have you heard of Slipknot?" He asked, nodding his head towards the radio and tapping his long fingers on the steering wheel to the music.

You scoffed, turning your head to face him. "Yes I've heard of Slipknot, you loser... It's just not really my thing. Kind of scary sounding... its just screaming mostly."

He laughed loudly at your last comment. "Scary? Aw, now that's cute. I bet you listen to Lana Del Rey or some shit like that." Kylo said sarcastically, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He took a drag from it before offering it to you.

You rolled your eyes at him before taking it. Your fingers brushed against his, sending a shiver down your spine. You took a drag off of it before speaking. "Lana Del Rey makes really good music." Despite facing the window, you felt his eyes on you the whole time.

"Oh so I was right?" He grinned, staring at the road now. "I just said the first girly thing that came to mind... And when did you start smoking? I'm gonna tell your mom." He laughed.

You attempted to hide the smile that played at the corners of your mouth. "I'll be sure to tell her you supplied me with them... and yeah I like Lana. She sings about real shit." You took another drag from the cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the window.

Kylo scoffed at you again, motioning to the radio. "And you don't think bands like this do?... This song is called Metabolic, its about the lead singer's absent father and how he fears he will become just like him. They sing about real shit too, it isn't just screaming."

You shrugged, taking another hit before handing the cigarette back to him as he pulled into your driveway. "I never said they didn't, I'm just not super into this type of music."

He glared at you as you grabbed your bag, cigarette dangling from his mouth. You got out of his car, and shut the door behind you. "Thanks for the ride, Kylo" You said through gritted teeth.

I can't believe I'm telling this man thank you.

"No problem." He looked like he wanted to say something else but he stopped himself.

You nodded, before heading to your door. You noticed that he had watched you and waited for you to get inside your house before pulling away.

"How nice of Kylo for driving you home. What a sweet boy." Your mom smiled as you came through the door. "I wish he wouldn't smoke though, you smell like cigarettes."

"Yeah, he's cool." You sigh as you walk up the stairs, making your way to your room before shutting your bedroom door behind you.

You sit at your desk and open your laptop to get started on some homework. Before you start, you grab your headphones and open your phone, deciding to give Kylo's music taste another try. As you do your calculus homework, you find yourself tapping your foot to the music.

The following day, you waited outside for Finn to pick you up from class. You had waited 30 minutes before deciding to call him and he didn't pick up a single one of your several calls.

That fucker. He just left me here.

You huffed before opening your phone again in defeat, pressing on Kylo's contact.

"Yeah?" He sounded like had been sleeping. Your face felt hot from just the sound of his voice.

"I um- Finn left me here and I uh... don't have anyone to pick me up... Can you please come get me?" It felt so foreign asking Kylo for literally anything.

"Yeah I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He said. You noticed that he sounded much more alert, and you heard him shuffling in the background.

"Okay thanks... Uh- bye." You hung up, sitting down on the curb.

It wasn't even seven minutes before Kylo turned into the parking lot and pulled up next to you.

You opened the door, throwing your bag on the floor and getting in. "Jesus Christ, man?? How many traffic laws did you break getting here?" You smirked as you buckled your seatbelt.

Kylo laughed. "If you drove, and owned a car like this, you'd speed too." You couldn't help but notice the light pink that spread across his cheeks at your comment.

He handed you your own cigarette this time, and you placed it in your mouth. You went to reach for the lighter but he beat you to it.

"Allow me." Kylo said before raising the flame up to the end of your cigarette. You inhale, watching it ignite. You caught his gaze for a moment and felt the butterflies return, quickly averting your eyes and taking the cigarette between your fingers to turn and exhale out of his window. Kylo cleared his throat and looked ahead before lighting his own and pulling away.

You both listened to his music in silence for a few minutes. As you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt, you recognized the song playing and began to mouth the lyrics.

I am my father's son 'cause he's a phantom, a mystery, and that leaves me nothing.

How many times have you wanted to die?

It's too late for me, all you have to do is get rid of me.

You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes.

Kylo's eyes darted over to you a few times, and he laughed. "There is no way- are you fucking singing along to Slipknot right now?! I thought this shit scared you, kid?" The look on his face was filled with shock and amusement.

"It's a catchy song. I don't know... Stop calling me that asshole!" You could feel the deep blush creeping across your face.

"No, No." He wasn't letting this go. "I didn't play this CD in the car yesterday, did you seriously go home and listen to it?" Between that and how embarrassed you looked from him pointing it out, Kylo could not contain the smile of pure amusement on his face.

"I don't know- Maybe." You looked out of the window, not facing him. You wanted nothing more than to die in that moment.

He was loving this too much. "Fucking obsessed with me, aren't ya? Listening to my songs and shit." Kylo teased.

You turned to glare at him. "I- No! Shut the fuck up." You gripped the fabric of your skirt and took a final drag of your cigarette before tossing it out of the window.

He laughed, shaking his head as he pulled into the driveway. "I'm only fucking with you."

"That's all you ever seem to do. Thanks for the ride I guess." You muttered as you got out of his car, slamming the door before walking to your house. As you walked away, you caught a glimpse of the look of disappointment and guilt on Kylo's face.

Fucking asshole. So unbelievable.

Kylo stayed in your driveway for a minute, debating on whether he should knock on your door to say something to you, but he ultimately decided against it and drove away.

That night, you laid in bed staring at your ceiling once again, head filled with thoughts of that stupid fucking beautiful asshole.

I don't understand him. He does nice shit for me sometimes, but then all he does is make fun of me?

And even after all of that, all you could think about was that stupid cigarette dangling from his lips and how hot he looked. Your mind wandered to how Kylo would lean closer to you, his hand resting on the back of your headrest while reversing. How he nodded his head and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the music. How close his face was to yours when he insisted on lighting your cigarette for you.

God! I'm such an idiot. I cant stand him or myself for that matter.

You heard a few taps on your window and your brow furrowed. You rolled out of bed, walking to your window before opening it. You were met with Kylo's dark eyes staring back at you.

Your eyes narrowed at him. "What a gentleman, thank you for knocking this time..." You said sardonically. "But Finn is asleep I think."

"Had to make sure you didn't have a guy over." He teased. "But I'm not here for him... you wanna smoke?" He grinned at you, holding up a neatly rolled joint.

You laughed nervously. "I've never smoked weed before Kylo, I don't know..."

"Of course you haven't... It'll be fine, I'm not asking you to smoke the whole goddamn thing." He smirked, offering his hand for you to take.

You sighed before taking Kylo's hand and ducking out of your window. The cold, October air sent goosebumps across your exposed arms and legs. He led you to a flat part of your roof and the both of you sat down together.

You watched as he placed the joint in his mouth and lit it, taking a couple hits before handing it to you.

You inhaled, noticing how it burned a little more than a cigarette does. You coughed slightly, which caused Kylo to chuckle, and you glared at him as you handed the joint back to him.

"I'm sorry if I made you mad earlier." He smirked, taking another hit.

You scoffed. "You just fuck with me too much. You always have."

Kylo sighed. "I only do it because your reactions are so fun... I didn't think about how it might make you feel." He paused. "And besides, I think its cute that you listened to my music all on your own, for the fun of it."

You blushed, hoping that the darkness would conceal the pink creeping across your face. "It's fine. I'm so used to your games by now." You laughed, shivering slightly.

Kylo placed the joint between his lips before slipping his dark jacket off and draping it around your shoulders. It felt so warm and was about three sizes too big for you. You laughed nervously, looking down. "Thank you."

He nodded, gazing down at you as he handed you the joint.

As the two of you sat in silence for a minute, the weed had already begun to take its toll on you. Everything seemed funny to you and as you looked up at the stars, you laughed softly at nothing.

Kylo smiled at you. "What's so funny, kid? Already high from two baby hits?" He teased. "This isn't even my strongest shit."

"You're such an idiot." You laughed at him, shaking your head.

The next hour was spent laughing about anything and everything. The two of you made fun of your brother, talked about college and how both of you agree calculus fucking sucks, and the two of you shared some other artists you liked with each other.

"I can't believe I clocked you so easily with Lana fucking Del Rey. I honest to god said that as a joke." Kylo laughed.

"Hey, she makes good music. Please let me make you listen to her the next time we're in the car, please." You playfully begged.

He sighed, feigning defeat. "Fine but only like two songs max... so you better make them good." Kylo smirked as he flicked the roach off the roof.

You weren't sure if it was the weed in your system, but something was giving you a slight newfound confidence to speak more freely. You sighed. "You're always spot on about me though... I am kind of lame. I always had this idea in my head that you and Finn were the ones who were losers... but in reality I am."

Kylo looked at you, puzzled. "I never thought you were a loser... I poke fun at you, sure, but I admire your intelligence... and how introverted you always are." He laughed, playfully pushing your shoulder.

You laughed nervously. "No, I mean... I don't go out and do anything fun the way you do. I don't loosen up, I don't hang out with people, I definitely never have guys over..." You laughed again, trailing off. "I mean my god I've never even kissed anyone."

He stared at you, his eyes scanning your face as if he were debating something. "You've got to be fucking with me right now. A pretty thing like you has surely got to have boys lined up and down the street."

You laughed at his comment, blushing. "If they are, I surely don't pay attention. No one talks to me at school." You stared at your lap, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

You felt his cold fingertips touch your jaw, lifting your chin to look up at him. Before you could say anything, Kylo leaned in quickly and kissed you. You felt like a live wire, as if lightning bolts were shooting through your entire body. His kiss was urgent, yet gentle, and he held your face in his hands so tenderly.

When he pulled away, his eyes met yours and you both smiled nervously at each other. You noticed him shiver slightly. "Do you wanna... maybe go inside? It's warmer in there." You said shyly.

Kylo smirked at you. "Are you inviting a guy into your room right now?" He teased before standing up and taking your hand.

You giggled, following him. "Shut up."

He chuckled softly and when you got to the window, he went first. He ducked inside, pulling you with him which caused you both to practically fall through your window. You landed on top of him, your hushed giggles only silenced once he kissed you again.

"Shhh are you trying to wake your parents?" Kylo smirked up at you for a moment, taking in the sight of you on top of him on your bedroom floor, the moonlight from the window behind you illuminating you in a halo-like glow. He grabbed your waist and gently rolled you off of him, before you both stood up.

His large, strong hands pulled you by the waist closer to him, and he had to lean down to kiss you. His kiss was full of need this time, you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip, asking for entry and you obliged, parting your lips. You moaned against his mouth and you felt the smirk that played at his lips.

Kylo took a few steps forward, pushing you gently backwards until the backs of your knees hit your soft bed. He pulled away for a moment to take his jacket off of you and throw it to the floor, before pushing you flat onto your bed.

"I-I've never... um." You stumbled over your words, feeling your face get hot as your eyes darted up to your ceiling.

Kylo leaned over you, his palms flat on the mattress on either side of your head. "I just stole your first kiss a couple minutes ago, you don't think I know that?" He smirked down at you before tilting his head slightly, leaning closer to trail kisses down your neck. "Do you not want to? I can stop whenever you want, all you need to do is say so." He whispered between kisses, trailing his hand down your body and stopping just above your clothed cunt.

The sensation made the heat in your core grow. "N-no. Don't stop Kylo." You whined.

He smiled, before standing straight up again and looking down at you. He looped his fingers under the waistband of your shorts and underwear, pulling them off slowly. "Look at you sweet thing, I've barely touched you and you're already a fucking mess." He teased, causing you to whimper.

Kylo chuckled softly, separating your knees and ghosting his hand down your thigh, stopping at your heat. He ran two long fingers through your slit, collecting your wetness on them before rubbing light circles over your clit. You gasped at the contact, bucking your hips instinctively against his hand. "Needy little thing, aren't you?" He smirked, using his other hand to hold your waist down before pushing his fingers inside slowly.

You whined at the feeling of his long fingers stretching you out, your much smaller hands were nothing compared to his. After giving you a moment to adjust, Kylo began to slowly pump his fingers in and out of your cunt, curling them upwards to draw sweet, soft moans from you.

"K-Kylo..." You breathed.

He smirked, amused by how quickly you were coming undone at his hand. "What is it, pretty girl?"

You whined at the sweet name he gave you, stuttering over your words once again. "You're g-gonna make me c-cum."

Kylo laughed softly, he had already gathered that from the noises you were making. "Oh, yeah?" He smirked at you, not faltering once with the steady pace he had created with his fingers.

"P-please. Please I want you to..." You trailed off, lost in the pleasure he was giving you.

"Please what? I'm not gonna do anything else unless you ask for it. Go ahead... Say it, say it." He was having way too much fun with you.

"Please Kylo..." You begged him. "Please I- I want you t-to fuck me."

He grinned at you and stood up, removing his fingers from your cunt, before licking them clean. You tasted divine to him, and he made a mental note that he needed to taste the source at some point. Maybe another night.

You whined at the sudden feeling of emptiness and watched as he pulled a condom from his wallet, putting it between his lips before working to undo his belt. He made quick work of his clothes, saving his boxers for last and sliding them off, his cock springing upwards.

You didn't realize your mouth was open until Kylo looked over at you and saw you staring at him. He laughed, tearing the condom wrapper open with his teeth. "I'll go slow, don't worry." You watched as he slid the condom down to the base of his cock, before making his way over to you on the bed.

He made you sit up a bit so he could pull your shirt over your head, before kissing you, trailing down your neck and chest, leaving a few light red marks along the way. You whimpered at the sensation, not caring that you'd have to conceal them in the morning.

Kylo pulled away, admiring his work and settling himself between your legs, lining his cock up with your entrance. "Ready?" He moved a piece of hair from your eyes, smirking down at you.

You wrapped your arms around him, nodding your head. He groaned as he slowly pushed his cock inside you, taking extra care not to hurt you and watching as your face contorted from the feeling of his cock splitting you open. Your nails dug into his back as you whined.

After allowing you a moment to adjust to his size, Kylo began to move slowly, creating a gentle yet deep pace and hitting that bundle of nerves inside you with each thrust. It felt like heaven and you attempted to stifle your moans, failing miserably. "Shhh pretty girl, don't wake up the entire house now." He put his hand over your mouth lightly, smiling down at you.

You moaned against Kylo's hand as he began to pick up his pace slightly. He removed his hand to kiss you, his tongue winning dominance over the inside of your mouth.

Kylo pulled away to admire you, his thrusts were still gentle, but he was unrelenting on that sensitive spot, hitting it with each snap of his hips.

"Ky-kylo... m'gonna c-cum... feels so good." You whined, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Yeah?" He moaned slightly, out of breath and nearing his own climax. "Go ahead, cum on my cock."

Your vision went blurry as you came undone beneath him, the tight coil in your abdomen bursting into fireworks of endless pleasure.

"Just like that, pretty girl. You're doing so good, Fuck." Kylo whispered in your ear, easing you through your orgasm as his hand rested over your mouth to muffle your moans.

After a few more thrusts he came to a halt with a groan, burying himself deep inside of you as he came. "Fuck- shit! You feel so fucking good." He hissed.

As Kylo came down from his high, he breathed heavily, smiling down at you before kissing you again. He pulled away, pulling out of you. You whined, which caused him to chuckle slightly. You watched as he took the condom off, throwing it in the trash before slipping his boxers back on, and retrieving his band t-shirt and your underwear from the floor.

He sat back on the bed and gently dressed you, his shirt hanging off of your much smaller frame. "You look so pretty in my clothes." He smirked at you, pulling your covers over the two of you before taking you into his arms.

You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat flutter. "Thank you." You whispered softly.

Kylo chuckled. "For what, pretty girl?" He played with your hair.

"For making my first time memorable. It was really, really good..." You trailed off sleepily.

You heard his heartbeat falter at your comment and you smiled. He ran his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to thank me for that, I've wanted to do this for a while now." Kylo waited for an answer but it never came. He sighed, smiling as he realized you had fallen asleep on him. This was a feeling he could get used to.

The following morning, you two were awoken by the sound of your mother knocking on your bedroom door. Kylo was immediately alert, scrambling out of bed and grabbing his remaining clothes before ducking under your bed as you silently laughed at him.

"Yeah?" You called out to your mother.

She entered, looking around your room. "I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything... where did you get that shirt." She stared at the Slipknot t-shirt you were wearing that was three sizes too big for you.

You looked down at yourself, before looking back at her. "I'm doing laundry right now and Kylo left it in Finn's room a long time ago." You lied through your teeth. "And no, I don't want anything."

"Hm, okay... And close that window, the heat is on and its freezing in here!" She motioned to your open window before leaving, shutting the door behind her.

You fell back onto your pillow, shutting your eyes and smiling at the sound of Kylo's laughter beneath you.

#kylo ren #ben solo #star wars #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x reader #star wars x reader #kylo ren fanfic #ben solo fanfic #starwars fanfic #star wars sequel trilogy #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker #crucifiedfaerie #saint writes !#modern!kylo au

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violetrainbow412-blog · 5 months

Note

Hi! I have a few ideas for Spencer Reid x Reader romantic fics that you could use if you would like. I was thinking about a Hogwarts au with BAU as friends at Wizarding school or where they are adults and work at Ministry as Aurors (analyzing behaviour of dark magic users?).

Or a Star Trek au and them being a team at the ship or a storyline with Spencer being Vulcan and experiencing Pon Farr (Vulcan mating ritual).

Thank you in advance!

First of all, I really LOVED this request. I belong to both fandoms but I write a little better for Harry Potter. I thought about placing them in the school because I wanted to give it a more cheerful tone, but if you're interested I could write about the second suggestion later (where they work in the ministry of magic).

The houses where the characters are assigned are courtesy of this publication and the reader does not have a defined house, so you can imagine it in yours. I hope you enjoy! 🤍

wc: 3.2k

Visits to Hogsmeade have always been the best part of winter, partly because of all the delicious hot drinks you can have and partly because of being able to spend time with all your friends.

Before entering Hogwarts you could not consider yourself a very sociable person, however, as time went by there were certain people who managed to welcome you until you were a group solid enough to win the admiration of students and teachers. After all, seeing so many youths from different houses getting along was not a common thing.

Right now you were walking with Emily and JJ, two exceptional Slytherin girls who, breaking all kinds of stereotypes, were quite sweet. You were going to meet Elle, Penelope and Kate, from Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor respectively, at The Three Broomsticks to drink something delicious and catch up on many things that you couldn't discuss during the break.

“Do you think Professor Gideon will give us an extension for the lessons we have to deliver tomorrow?”

“Gideon? No way! I could understand it from Professor Rossi, but he…”

“Do we have homework from Professor Rossi?” Em asked absently and you two laughed at the same time.

“Good morning, girls.”

“Morning, Professor Blake,” you sang in unison, after seeing the woman crossing the street accompanied by Professor McGonagall.

The Three Broomsticks was packed with people moving around, laughing, and sharing drinks. You managed to distinguish, from the higher grades, some prefects gathered at a table and two of them greeted you with a smile: Lewis from Ravenclaw and Hotchner from Hufflepuff. You had seen them a couple of times due to sneaky night visits with your friends, but nothing went beyond that.

You walked a little further and finally caught a glimpse of the table with your friends. They weren’t alone, because in the same place there were four boys that you were very used to: your friend Luke and the charming Derek Morgan from the lion house, the kind Matt who was chatting with his housemate, Penny, and sitting in silence was that sweet boy who made your heart race...

“Hey!” Derek was the first to greet them and everyone started squeezing themselves against the old couches so that the three of you had room.

Emily purposely pushed you first to take the place next to Spencer and when your shoulders collided with his, you saw him smile sheepishly.

“How nice to see you. I didn't know you'd be here."

“Neither do I,” he smiled at you. “Morgan brought me here, he told me we would probably find you.”

You had met the boy through your potions classes, when the two of you had to sit together due to lack of space at another table. Even so, the incident hadn’t gone completely bad because you discovered that he was a great boy, it was just that his shyness prevented him from actively participating in everything related to the social aspect.

When you discovered that Derek was a mutual friend, he didn't hesitate to start inviting the brunette to watch his Quidditch practice and sometimes you kept him company so he wouldn't feel bored. You discovered that what you had in common was a fascination with the dark arts and criminals, a passion that would later unite your entire group, and over the years your friendship consolidated into what you saw now. But as time went by you grew up and by this point Spencer was already too handsome and gentlemanly to ignore. Spending so much time with him inevitably gave you a small crush on the smartest guy in the entire room.

During visits to Hogsmeade it was common to see Spencer in bookstores or quieter places, so you were happy that they had taken him out of his routine so that he ended up with his leg stuck to yours, with barely any room to move.

Once you were there, the entire table became a tide of murmurs and laughter in which you participated from time to time, especially when you had to corroborate one of your housemates' anecdotes.

“Do you want me to order you something to drink?” Spencer asked cordially, as a waiter came over to ask if you guys wanted to order anything else.

You had never discovered if the Ravenclaw next to you reciprocated your feelings, but actions like that caused you a certain illusion that you didn't want to pay too much attention to.

“Huh, Butterbeer?” You responded with a smile and he took care of passing the message to the clerk, making sure to also slip a couple of galleons into his hand to pay “So the tutoring went well, right?” you tried to joke.

Your friend had found a prosperous activity by offering tutoring for those who needed it and although he only accepted donations, many rich children preferred to pay an excellent salary to have a private teacher's class 24 hours a day, which assured them a good grade. He was always willing to help anyone at the table at no cost and he was undoubtedly the head of his house's favorite, but everyone pretended not to notice it.

“I could say yes”

“But I'll only let you buy me one,” you threatened while he smiled and shook his head, possibly planning to buy you everything you asked for despite your complaints.

“Have you heard what happened in the prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor?” you all heard Elle say, who always got the best gossip from who knows where.

When the entire group leaned in to listen better, your cheek was almost touching Spencer's and in that position it was not the best idea to turn to look at him, because when he did the same your lips were about to touch and by instinct you moved away to avoid it, cheeks flushing in response.

Even though everyone was paying attention to Elle's story, you could feel Spencer shift slightly uncomfortably in his spot and you hoped it wasn't your fault.

“But hey, the really important question here is…” Kate began, taking a long gulp of her hot chocolate just for dramatic effect “Do you guys have a date for the Yule ball yet?”

The yule ball, you had almost forgotten about that. You had received a few proposals, but you hadn't responded to any of them yet and a part of you was hoping that with this Spencer would have the courage to invite you, because you didn't want to go with anyone else but him.

Emily was the first to tell her plans to invite none other than Prefect Aaron and you all burst into mocking boos at your friend's brazen plan. JJ would go with another Hufflepuff boy named Will, Penelope would go with Morgan like the best friends they were, while the rest had partners that you didn't know yet but that they would make sure to introduce you to.

When everyone talked about their plans they looked in the direction of Spencer and you, as if they wanted to hear your plans too.

“I have received some proposals, but I still don't know who I should say yes to”

“I'm not going”

Hearing Spencer say that made your heart drop and although you tried to maintain your composure your friends couldn't help but notice the disappointed expression that you tried to hide by drinking your Butterbeer.

Why didn't Spencer want to go to the ball? You had already imagined him wearing a nice gala suit with those well-combed golden locks and a corsage the color of your dress, but your hopes seemed destined to die there.

“Come on, Reid! "Everyone's going," Luke murmured, but the man just put on a tight-lipped smile and looked away.

You didn't even want to look at him or you knew your eyes would give you away, so you tried to focus on something else.

Seeing that he wouldn't offer any more reasons, the talk continued and when your beer was finished you felt Spencer lean a little closer to you, until his lips were at the height of your ear. Out of inertia you tilted your head a little to get into a position that involved the closest possible approach.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked softly, sending a shiver through your entire body.

You wanted to lean closer until you melted into him and, with any luck, the movement would force him to kiss you on the cheek.

“I would love to,” you managed to respond when you finally shook off those fantasies and he smiled next to you while he got up from his place.

"Where are you going?"

“Outside, for a walk,” you informed. The same mischievous smile crossed Elle and Derek's faces.

"Oh, sure. Have fun walking, lovebirds,” she murmured while the man simulated exaggerated kissing sounds.

"You guys are idiots"

You grabbed your jacket while you heard everyone laughing and even with that sound in the background you started walking with your friend towards the exit, trying not to pay attention to the romantic advances they were making.

As soon as you got out of there you noticed the severe change in weather and rubbed your hands against each other while blowing air on them in hopes of keeping some heat. The white snow covered the entire town and it was quite a beautiful sight.

“Peace and tranquility,” your friend sighed, after taking a deep breath, and you laughed.

“Were you that suffocated in there?”

“I don't like it when everyone talks at the same time. Too much noise"

You knew that Spencer was a little different from the others and sometimes he could feel uncomfortable with social situations, but most of the time when he wanted to get out of there he asked you to accompany him. Was that some kind of sign or were you just misunderstanding things?

“Have you bought anything at Honeydukes yet?” you asked to open the conversation.

You didn't know whether to put your hands in your pockets or keep them crossed to protect yourself a little from the cold air, so you just kept rubbing them together.

"Yes a while ago. Buy acid pops, frogs, and jelly slugs”

“We buy Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans”

“Since the time I tried one that tasted like rotten eggs, I can't even look at them without gagging,” he confessed while wrinkling his nose, a gesture that you had long ago discovered was common for him.

“Emily says she once tried one that tasted like cat litter, but I don't believe her. And if I were to believe her it would be very disgusting because come on, how would you know what that taste tastes like if you haven't tried it before?”

Spencer's laugh had always been a sound that melted you from the inside out, one you could listen to for hours without getting tired.

You continued along the cobblestone path chatting pleasantly about some academic matters, a little about the future, and sometimes about the most trivial things, until you were far enough away from the hustle and bustle of the town.

There was a little desolate bench next to the road and both of you silently agreed to head over there so you could sit for a moment.

You could see his mismatched socks underneath the robe and the obvious height difference made you able to move your legs back and forth. There was just a space between you where you rested your hand, your pinky almost touching his.

“Did you know that all snowflakes are symmetrical? They have six sides and always reflect light as if they were precious stones. I read it the other day in a book.”

The comment was about the fact that, of course, small flakes of snow had begun to fall. You smiled from ear to ear and stretched out your tongue to capture one, while Spencer watched you sweetly from the opposite side.

“When you were little did you play in the snow?”

“My mom never let me do it. I was a sickly child.”

“And now you're not?” you asked softly.

Just when he was about to respond, your hands reached up to his neck to adjust his two-color scarf and Spencer held his breath at the closeness, while he focused on your cheeks flushed from the cold.

You were the prettiest girl he had ever met and he was afraid to tell anyone, because he would know that when a secret was told sooner or later it ended up reaching the ears of whoever he was trying to hide from. Although he believed that probably all of Hogwarts could tell that he liked you just by the way he sighed whenever you were around.

“Spencer?”

"What?"

“Are you sickly now too?” you asked again and he felt stupid for getting too nervous to forget what you had just told him.

"A bit"

"Well, I hope so. Come"

You took his wrist to guide him out of your seat and led him to a blank space on the floor, where in spring it was probably full of grass, immediately throwing yourself with your gaze towards the sky.

"What are you doing?"

“Lie down, we’re going to make a snow angel.”

Spencer looked hesitant for a second, but then he knelt next to you, imitating your position somewhat awkwardly. When you started to move your arms and legs he thought about regretting it, although in the end he didn't, and very soon the two of you were already laughing out loud at how clumsy the situation was.

At some point you stopped and turned slightly until you were face to face, looking at each other's flushed skin and bright smiles. Looking at him you thought about how happy it made you to be with him, more so than with any of your other friends, although you didn't know if it was due to the boy's calm nature or simply your feelings for him reflecting back.

“We're definitely going to catch a cold,” he observed intelligently as he sat up and shook the snow out of his brown hair, which only made you laugh more. “Come on, I don't think snot matches your future dress.”

You took the hand he was offering to help you up and knew that if you didn't take advantage of that opportunity you probably wouldn't be able to talk to him about it again.

“You're really not going to the ball?”

You were sitting next to him, too close for the boy's poor nerves, and there was a clear tone of disappointment in your words. As if that weren't enough, you still hadn't let go of his hand.

“Huh, I don't think so. I don't like that kind of environment” he excused himself, making a small face. You nodded with understanding, but evidently discouraged “Besides, no one has invited me.”

“And why haven't you invited a girl?”

Spencer looked away at your question and cringed a little from his spot, as if he were afraid to answer you. You waited a minute for him to think.

“I just want to save myself the embarrassment of them saying no.”

“Why would anyone say no to you?” you immediately asked in genuine disbelief.

“Because I'm not handsome! And because I spend my time in the library instead of training quidditch and I'm not even athletic and... I don't know, because I'm weird."

“Oh, shut up, Spencer” the stern tone in your voice surprised him, but before he could say anything you continued talking “You're a great guy, you're dedicated and studious, you're kind. You're not weird at all. Well… maybe a little bit, but not as a negative trait, but as something that makes you stand out”

"So you think?" He asked and you nodded effusively. “I still don’t think there’s anyone left for me.”

“Come with me” you breathed out without thinking.

You had wanted him to come with you so much that you didn't even care if you invited him or he did, you just wanted to dance with him and have a valid reason to hold his hand. Even if you were doing it for no reason right now.

"Go where?"

“To the ball, genius!” You laughed nervously. “I don’t have a partner yet.”

“But… you said you had several invitations,” he reminded you, clearly confused. He had dismissed the idea that you were interested when you had said that, contrary to the idea you wanted to give him.

“Yes, but none of them are as charming as you.”

You didn't even know where you had gathered the courage to flirt with him but luckily it seemed to be working. Spencer was quiet for a moment and although you couldn't tell it he was fighting to keep his brain from spontaneously combusting.

Were you really offering him the chance to be your date?

“Unless you're not interested…”

"No!" he interrupted you. In his eyes you could see the shine of the snow and a certain enthusiasm that calmed you greatly “I would love to go with you.”

The smile that crossed your face wasn’t normal and you wished you could better hide your joy at his response, but no matter how hard you tried, you knew it would be impossible.

“It's probably a bit bland and superficial, but I think we can have fun.”

“Did you know that balls were initially used for courtship? In Victorian times they were the social space where a gentleman could look for a lady he wanted to marry and there were certain dances, protocols, and rules”

“Luckily we don't have all that rigor now,” you exclaimed. “You just have to take a couple of classes with Professor Gideon to know how to behave.”

“I thank Merlin that Professor Blake was there to help us because otherwise it would have been most embarrassing.”

“I want to see you dance,” you said in an excited tone, while you gave his hand a light squeeze. Against all odds Spencer used that grip to pull you in his direction until he wrapped you in a hug.

“You're not inviting me because you feel sorry for me, right?”

You gasped almost annoyed.

“For a Ravenclaw you're sometimes quite an idiot, you know that?” you murmured against his chest, which then vibrated with a nervous laugh.

You wished you could confess to him how much you had wanted to achieve this and erase all those pointless worries with everything you thought about him, but you knew that if you had you would probably have to confess how much you liked him and you weren't ready for this yet.

You were silent for a moment until you dared to separate a little to look him in the eyes and then speak seriously.

“Never think that I invite out of pity, Reid. I invite you because you are my friend and I really like being with you.”

He had to hug you again until you saw his face or somehow you would have discovered more than you should about his true feelings towards you.

“I'm glad to know that,” he sighed, resting his flushed cheek against the top of your head.

Spencer didn't know if his hopeful heart could handle the wait to see you in a beautiful dress and dance with you all night long, but for now he would have to settle for the warmth he felt from having you in his arms, smiling like a fool just for you.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove @instabull @rhiannonhippiegirl @r-3dlips @missabsey @olivia’s-25 @liptonsbabe @moonbutterflyx

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illubean · 3 months

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Valorant Protocol as Highschool Stereotypes

Characters: Chamber, Gekko, Iso, Jett, Killjoy, Neon, Phoenix, Raze, Sage, Skye, Viper, Yoru Type: Headcanons

HAHA help me valorant brainrot >.< also this is based off of my hs experience soooo yeah

Warnings: none

Chamber

your typical pretty boy

all the girls love him all the boys hate him

well...most of the girls love him

they follow him around to classes or offer him gifts or ask to sit with him at lunch etc.

and he eats up the attention every time

he's lab partners with Viper in Environmental Sciences and he likes trying to flirt with her

she actually hates him btw

Gekko

canonically he skateboards

but honestly? I can see him being on the dance team

he's so high energy, he needs some sort of outlet

he never misses an opportunity to show off his dance moves

homecoming? prom? he is the center of the dance circle

like Raze, he doesn't know how popular he is

he's just happy to have so many good friends that it doesn't even actually occur to him that he's considered "popular"

Iso

he's an ap art kid

like he walks around with a big ass sketchbook every day

always talking about his portfolio

Iso baby ily but please shut the fuck up about oil paints <3

he probably volunteered part of his summer break to come in and paint a mural for the school

I think he'd also take a piano class as like a schedule filler but he actually gets crazy good at it

Jett

pe tryhard

if you end up on the opposite team as her while playing dodge ball good luck 😓

she's always picked as team captain because literally no one else is excited as she is

she's sorta like Hairo from Saiki K 💀

she gets a lil mad when her teammates don't try

Killjoy

she's in robotics club

she's not very popular but that doesn't bother her at all

she heads straight to and from every class and spends her lunch period in the workshop unless Raze drags her off somewhere

not a lot of people actually know who she is, and if they do they just know her as 'Raze's Friend'

i think she'd remind the teacher about the homework and hit you with the "erm actually 🤓" tbh

Neon

she's on track and field/cross country

after every meet you can find her laying on the floor somewhere ready to puke bc she tries so hard to win 😭

she always ends up top 5 tho

she complains about practice but joins the team every year anyways

she carries her bag around all the time and if you open it there's like 10 water bottles in there

#hydratedqueen

Phoenix

theater kid DUHH

he's probably drama club president or sumn

bro will NOT let go of a specific song from a musical he was in his freshman year and it wasn't even his song 💀

he's been in every show every year and somehow he manages to land every role he wants

he's insanely good at the game 'bang' (mostly because he's louder than everyone else...)

he probably plans/hosts the cast parties too

Raze

she doesn't care much about her grades

she does the bare minimum and gets straight Cs

she's just here to have fun

everyone likes her because of her approachable personality

she doesn't think she's popular but she is

Sage

she's in the medical assistant class

she takes it very seriously, as she plans on going to medical school

even before taking the class she carries a first aid kit and other essentials everywhere she goes

you need a bandaid? ibuprofen? a pad or tampon? she has it all

she's also ASB president

school events literally would not be able to run without her

lets just say her college applications/resume will look REALLY good...

Skye

she also took medical assistant but was less crazy about it than Sage

she just follows her friend's lead

she thinks the skills are useful but she doesn't see herself making it her career

but also I think she would play volleyball

she's a well rounded player but specializes most in defense

still, don't underestimate her bc this girl can SPIKE

Viper

she took every ap science class offered without taking the general ones first

she complains about getting any grade below an A...

"What are you talking about? That test was easy"

sorry not everyone is as smart as you Sabine 😑

she spends all her free time at chem tutoring (even though she doesn't need it)

Yoru

he thinks he looks cool and mysterious when he walks down the halls but he doesn't

everyone just thinks his mad all the time and stay out of his way 😭

randos try to pick fights with him bc he "looked at them wrong" (Yoru wins every time)

he's not exactly a 'quiet kid' but he does lay low when it comes to the social part of school

despite his 'bad boy' look, he has pretty good grades

he's also probably one of those guys that a handful of girls have a crush on but he has no idea

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thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai · 1 year

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On Love Eros is a textbook depiction of how a figure skating routine evolves over a season

If you watch figure skating, you might have noticed that skaters grow into their programmes as the season progresses and that sometimes elements (usually jumps) are rearranged or replaced because the skater struggles with them or to increase the base score of the programme. In Yuri On Ice!!!, there is a lot of this, most prominently in Yuuri’s and Yuri’s programmes. In the following, I will break this down for Yuuri’s short programme On Love: Eros as this provides the most comprehensive data on the subject.

Presentation

Figure skating is, to somewhat extent, acting. A programme can require a skater to slip into a role (I’ve heard of skaters who take acting classes for this), but even for a programme that portrays a skater’s feelings basic expression and projection skills are useful. Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings and because of this, he gets high programme component scores (PCS), which help him make up for messed-up jumps. But when Viktor assigns On Love: Eros to him, Yuuri has no idea how to skate it. For how shall he express something he hasn’t experienced before?

Yuuri has never thought about love much less had a relationship. He says of himself that he didn’t pay attention to the things happening around him because he focused on skating since laying his eyes on Viktor for the first time. However, Viktor’s demonstration of On Love: Eros has given him an idea of a possible story:

A playboy comes to town and bewitches the women left and right. He decides to pursue the most beautiful woman in town, but she isn’t swayed. As they play the game of love, she finds it difficult to make the right choices and ends up falling for him. Then, he casts her aside as if he’s tired of her and goes off to the next town.

Which pretty much describes the situation in episodes 2&3 as Yuuri perceives it, including a possible scenario that Viktor discards him for coaching Yurio. (It also represents Viktor’s misperception of poor drunk Yuuri at the banquet, but that’s beside the point.)

Yuuri very keenly feels that he’s not at all like the playboy in his story as he considers himself physically unattractive and lacks confidence. Thankfully, Viktor’s old costume inspires him to swap roles and play the woman in his story as her part is closer to “how he feels”. To win, he must change the story and make Viktor stay. It’s unclear whether “how he feels” also refers to his unique notion of sexiness as a queer man, but as queer people are less likely to adhere to cishet stereotypes, it can very well be an additional factor. As a result of his revelation, he asks Minako to teach him to move more femininely. In the show, this is expressed in Yuuri using female pronouns during the first two times he skates Eros (the female Japanese “I” is “atashi”) and his voice being softer compared to when he’s off-ice. To cover up for his inexperience, he thinks of his favourite dish, which he’s only allowed to eat when he wins. Ironically, katsudon is a wrapper for everything Yuuri wants besides eating this food: he wants to win and he wants to eat katsudon with Viktor, representing his wish for Viktor to stay his coach (and maybe other things concerning Viktor he may not yet be able to express).

Yuuri's approach to expressing Eros reminds me of how actors approach the portrayal of an experience they never made themselves or that is hard to conjure. As a writer, I do this a lot too when putting myself in a character’s shoes. Switching the viewpoint character is also super helpful when a scene just doesn’t work the way I want it to (which is kinda what Yuuri does, too).

In episode 5, the story Yuuri wove around his programme has changed. His portrayal of Eros has evolved, but it’s not yet perfected. He still impersonates a woman and a tasty katsudon (“I’m a katsudon fatale that enthrals men” using “atashi”), but now it’s the woman who discards the man and goes off pursuing the next man.

Yuuri predominantly focuses on trying to include Viktor’s advice when he was flirting with Yuuri in the rink coaching him (“dance more like you’re trying to seduce me”). Only close to the end, he remembers the story of his programme: “On the conclusion for the love-crazed couple… how did it go?” which is kinda distanced compared to his thoughts about Viktor flirting with him and might imply that he doesn’t fully identify with the role.

As a sexually experienced person Yuuri’s coach, it’s evident to Viktor that Yuuri is still wrestling with his portrayal of Eros (which must be strange as he remembers how Yuuri was at the banquet lol). However, between episodes 5 and 6, something important happens: Yuuri and Viktor finally get together and thus the nature of their interactions changes (I discussed Japanese dating culture and how this is portrayed in YOI here). Because of this, Viktor instructs Yuuri to seduce him as himself the next time when he skates Eros in competition, which is at the Cup of China. And Yuuri’s reaction says it all.

Yuuri promptly starts using the same pronoun he uses when he refers to himself in his dialogue lines throughout the anime (“boku” is the Japanese standard male pronoun for “I). The programme is no longer a story with a protagonist Yuuri has to impersonate and identify with to some degree, but about him actively seducing Viktor with his own charms. It’s unclear whether he keeps the “female” skating style despite the pronoun change as this exceeds the limits of the animation (skating scenes are super difficult to animate so the pronouns might serve as a proxy for what the creators couldn’t translate into images). However, as Yuri!!! is super queer, I headcanon this style to become less exaggerated as it evolves into a natural expression that is 100% Yuuri as he fully blooms into his unique notion of Eros as part of his queer journey and his deepening relationship with Viktor.

However, it’s beyond doubt that the evolution of Yuuri’s portrayal of Eros is also closely tied to his relationship. Taking Viktor’s pep talk, Yuuri’s inner monologue while skating (“I am the only one who can satisfy Viktor”), and their exchange in the kiss and cry into account, skating seductively isn’t the only thing Yuuri thought of doing to Viktor *cough*, and they both know. As a result, he delivers a stellar performance with a new personal best.

I don’t think I need to elaborate on the off-ice activities the two likely have engaged in between the Cup of China and the Rostelecom Cup. As a result of his deepening relationship with Viktor and the subsequent experiences made, Yuuri scores even higher when he skates Eros in Russia. Being far away in a place where people might resent him for stealing Viktor from the sport, fuels his possessiveness which is one aspect of his Eros and ends in him getting an even higher score. His short programme has reached a stage at which he can hardly improve it any further with its current layout.

Before I’ll talk about the last time we see Yuuri skating Eros, let’s dive into the technical side.

Technical aspects

Eros is a super difficult programme for a skater with lots of stamina. All the jumps are in the second half and every entry into a jump is more difficult than the previous one, starting with a spread-eagle into the 3A and ending with a lunge entry into the 4T+3T combination. The step sequence which covers the better part of the first half looks quite demanding, too, as it has to match the pace of the music. All this makes the programme pretty ruthless, matching the theme. The initial layout includes a 3S as the second jump, which Yuuri decides turns into a quad in an attempt to beat Yuri at the Onsen on Ice because he is that desperate to win. Of course, this doesn’t go as planned, but Yuuri had to take the risk. As a side effect, it makes the entire routine even more daring. (fun fact: many irl skaters struggle with the 4S too)

As said above, Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings. This is especially true for jumps as he is prone to flub them when something is on his mind or the programme isn’t working for him for whatever reason. To successfully land a quad jump, everything going into the execution like technique, timing, speed, power of takeoff, the moment of opening the body before landing etc. must be finely tuned. So, it’s no surprise that Yuuri nails only the 4S when he fully settled into the programme in episode 6.

For the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri changes his jump layout of Eros one last time to maximise its base score. Again, it’s a risk he’s willing to take to win. He’s been taking risks all season by changing jumps, most prominently in his free programme when he included the 4F to surprise Viktor, and now he plans to jump the 4F in Eros as the final jump, while the 4S remains in the second jumping pass but is combined with the 3T whereas the 4T is omitted.

For reference: these are the base values of the jumps in question as they appear in Yuri!!!*:

3S: 4.4

4S: 10.5

4T: 10.3

4F: 12.3

The 4F is a jump so far only Viktor could land successfully in competition and so it became his signature move. It symbolises everything Viktor is to Yuuri and expresses his desire to become as good as Viktor or even surpass him, as well as his romantic feelings. Including it in Eros, adds a possessive layer to the many things the 4F represents like showing the world that Viktor is his now, but also Yuuri’s ambition and growth as a person including his newly-discovered confidence. Remember the flashback to the rink between the Rostelecom Cup and the Grand Prix Final when Yuuri had already proposed to Viktor? “You want to see me land a quad flip in the short programme, right?” “I do!” It sounds a lot like a second proposal—all this is ultimately part of Yuuri’s Eros, too.

In the end, Yuuri doesn’t nail the 4F and ends up in fifth place after the short programme as his mind was more occupied with winning than with seducing Viktor. I like to believe that Yuuri succeeds at the next competition and that he continues refining his SP throughout the rest of the figure skating season as his relationship with Viktor deepens and evolves further. But as the anime ends mid-season, this speculation is mostly based on watching irl figure skating and my headcanon.

Closing remarks on queer presentation

What sometimes is referred to as “female” expression in dance sports is a soft and sensual movement style as opposed to the cishet male stereotype (strong, shows little emotion etc). It basically describes a gay stereotype. However, how a queer person presents can apply to a variety of queer labels. Being queer myself, I don’t feel comfortable deriving labels from isolated information for an individual be they real or fictional. I don't want to promote stereotypes, and because of this, you won't find me jumping to conclusions about their unique queerness.

Japanese pronouns

For further reading about Japanese pronouns especially when used by queer people, I recommend this comprehensive article. Having read this, Yuuri’s switch to “atashi” during the first two times he skates Eros, makes even more sense to me.

*these base values were the same in the seasons I checked starting from the 2014/15 season to the 2016/17 season, which encompasses the time Yuri!!! was produced.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3(link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

#my yoi meta #yuri on ice #yoi #yoi meta #yuri on ice meta #katsuki yuuri #katsudon yuuri #viktor nikirofov #viktuuri #figure skating #On Love: Eros #anime #queer expression #lgbtq #If you like my meta please check my fics on AO3 they're full of this stuff

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lxvenderdreamy · 10 months

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THANK YOUUU FOR THE SOUL KID AND M!READER OMG!!!

could you do a kinda pre-relationship fic between soul X m!reader X kid? where its like during the fight between soul and blackstar VS kid when he first gets to the school? except m!reader is there? maybe hes a weapon who fights on his own but as there fighting (and losing...) kid does his signature drop down to shoot m!reader and when he does m!reader gets that stereotypical nosebleed when smth hot happens? idk where it would go from there, if he would play it off or be laid out for the rest of the fight but yeah :)

🍓(and idk if it qualifies as this but🍋)

YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!! Thank you for requesting! But I am not able to do 🍋 because the characters are either 13-16 (not 100% confident on this). But hey, thanks again for requesting again, it makes my day! I also really hope that I set this up right!❤️❤️❤️

❤️🍓Soul x M!Reader x Kid pre-relationship🍓❤️

This is all..really interesting and..exciting? Well at least for Soul, Blackstar, and you. And possibly Kid?

Anywho, Dr. Stein had informed the class about a new classmate, who was Lord Death’s own son. You and your two friends loved some action and a challenge so why not give this fellow classmate of yours a nice greeting?

You and Soul had your fair share with a battle together, you two are rather close to one another. If Blackstar isn’t there with y’all, then it’s just you and Soul. Soul prefers to be alone with you rather then Blackstar being there

So, here you three boys are, skipping Dr Steins class to go and take on this new classmate.

It wasn’t long before you came into contact with Kid. You were really stunned, you didn’t expect to see such a handsome boy..and he’s gonna be coming to this school? He’s gonna be in your class? That’s a blessing right there. Just…pure. At first you didn’t want to fight him at all because you didn’t want to damage that beauty of course. But you really did want to fight him though..just don’t aim for the face then it will be just fine.

When Blackstar ends up breaking one of the red spikes on the DWMA while giving out his awesome speech, this sets Kid off immediately. He’s complaining about the symmetry…

Your a lone weapon without a meister, upon seeing that, Kid couldn’t help but be all so curious. You’re a weapon that doesn’t have no meister at all, fighting on your very own. Shouldn’t you have a meister now..? That isn’t important right now, he has to take down the three of you.

All four of you got into fighting stance, preparing for battle. The tension between y’all was thick and intense as you all stared daggers at one another.

When Soul and you was going in to do y’all’s first move..you ended up getting pierced in the damn head. Blackstar jumped in and tried to pick Soul, who was in his weapon form up but..he couldn’t. If Soul was so heavy then how in the world did Maka swing him around as if he was a fidget spinner?

Yeah…this wasn’t going as planned as it should’ve went. Were you guys even taking this seriously one bit?? Even if you were it sure did not look like it..

This isn’t going to work out like it should. You guys can’t even sense each others wavelengths.

BROMANCE INCOMING…or is it?🧐

“Y/n…it’s over between us.” When you heard those words fall out of Soul’s mouth, you stared in disbelief..is he really breaking up with you at a time like this?

This is all so sad for the two of you. Having to spilt up away from each other like this..it’s heartwenching..it’s terrible.

Stein, Maka, and Tsubaki are all looking at the two of you as if they are watching a dramatic sad scene in a romance story.

Kid was just standing there with his guns, asking if he could shoot the two of them now. But Liz told him to hold it on back.

“Okay Soul…I understand..but..is it okay if we stay friends?” You asked him, looking away with a hand ok the back of your head. Your eyes widened when you saw Soul running to you, he wanted to be friends again!!!

You two began running towards each other so dramatically..so romantically. This was a dream come true, you two did NOT break up, you two are back together. Blackstar is running towards yall as well..

You all crash into each others arms as you all hugged each other tightly.

POW!

You all fall to the ground. This is due to Kid shooting his guns at the three of you, ending the bromance.

Y’all’s wavelength sucked like hell so you guys decided to attack Kid individually. Different and various moves were across the entrance of the school as you three were going right on at it.

You were trying to avoid hitting Kid’s face of course, you didn’t want to knock the beauty out of him.

Despite the three of you fighting with all your might, it was obvious that you three were losing as well. Kid was way more faster and flexible out of the three of you, as well as being able to have access to far distance with his twin pistols. It also didn’t help that the three of you were pitiful morons…

The fight is coming to a closure when Kid is so sick and tired of all the mess going on, fooling around. Kid decided to do his signature drop down to shoot you. You and Kid were so close to one another. Very close.

You felt heat rise to your face as your face was painted to red much to Kid’s surprise. You threw your head back as blood came out of your nose as you fell onto your back so asymmetrically.

Everyone just kinda stood there as you got a nosebleed. Kid just kept on holding his guns as he stood there staring at you. Now why on earth would you get a nosebleed? How did you get one? Why did it happen?

Black star immediately darted over to your body and started to shake you furiously, asking if you were okay and how they will kill Kid, shaking you all around. Soul on the other hand scoffed as he looked away…I think he knows why you got a nosebleed. He wished he didn’t. Feeling a little jealous…

#soul eater oneshot #soul eater maka #soul eater x reader #soul eater liz #soul eater patty #soul eater soul #soul eater black star #soul eater stein #soul eater #soul eater evans #liz soul eater #soul eater dtk #death the kid #Soul eater Tsubaki #male reader #request #[🍓]#fluff oneshot

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breathlessmorro · 4 months

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Read your post about wu, misako, and garmadon and the love triangle. Great post and loved your joke. If you didn't make a post yet, I was wondering what your opinion is on the season 3 love triangle between Nya, Jay, and Cole?

Part two-

Okay so history lesson: season three is around the time the showrunners figured out that girls watched the show as well, and what better way to appeal to girls than with love drama right guys??? Because that's not stereotypical and insensitive, and butchering female characters for the sake entertainment isn't misogynistic at all!

... Okay so I have some negative thoughts, but the love triangle doesn't necessarily have to be bad? It's not great writing, but NinjaGo writers are known to sacrifice consistency for the sake of the plot a LOT so I'm not going to make a huge deal out of it. Up until Cole was described as Nya's "perfect match," she never had any interest in him. The love triangle between her and Cole comes completely out of nowhere, and gets treated more seriously in the show than most of the fans take it.

So let's try to break it down - Nya and Jay establish at the beginning of season 3 that they have some boundaries. They don't state what they are, but it's implied Jay isn't allowed to fawn over her and get super clingy. Which, after a reminder, Jay actually fulfills. The first episode implies they're in a healthy relationship, with even their students knowing about it. Nya even seems excited by the idea that Jay might be her perfect match.

Then she gets paired with Cole, and she insists no one say anything. Now, I'm gonna dip into my psychology classes and say that Nya's sudden "feelings" and "attraction" to Cole is based off of the power of suggestion rather than actual attraction.

The Power of Suggestion is the theory that when an individual has an idea conveyed to them, and only after that, said idea becomes a reality. The way it works is that your brain has to consider every idea that pops up in it, and how you react to that idea can strengthen it. Nya's extreme shock to the idea that she's meant to be with Cole solidified the suggestion that she should be with him in her mind, and with the way the human brain works, she was already thinking of reasons why. When your brain makes a statement, it automatically looks for proof, and so that's why Nya was able to believe that she genuinely had feelings for Cole - because she had plenty of reasons for why she could.

It's confirmed that Cole didn't really have feelings for Nya. He liked the attention, and because of Jay immediately getting mad at him for it, he amped up his own reactions. I don't think Cole ever had feelings for Nya, and he just got competitive because that's part of his personality.

Jay on the other hand. Since day ONE Jay has been interested in Nya. He wanted to know her favorite color, wanted to impress her. Him unlocking his true potential was because she admitted she actually liked him no strings attached. He's been head over heels for that girl from the start, and he's canonically very insecure about being liked. So when Pixal, someone who almost never lies, says that she's supposed to be with Cole, and Nya doesn't immediately reassure him? He was bound to react the way that he did. That being said, immediately jumping to violence was wrong of him, especially because he didn't technically have proof Cole had acted on anything, but it makes sense.

To put it bluntly, everybody messed up. Nya shouldn't have hid the perfect match thing, or tried to initiate any kind of romantic affection with Cole. Cole shouldn't have reciprocated, and especially shouldn't have endorsed hiding it from Jay. Jay should have asked what was going on, and actually gotten the information he needed before going on the attack - not to mention he should have focused his hurt on the fact that Nya actually kind of cheated on him, but it's understandable why he was mad at Cole.

If someone wants to argue for Mudshock, I'm all for it! I just don't like the way it was canonically portrayed. It did feel very teenager-y so kudos to the team for being accurate to the vibes, but ultimately they ended up butchering two incredible characters (Nya and Cole) for the sake of marketing. I don't think anyone who wrote this actually knows how upsetting it is when you find out your partner is cheating on you with your best friend, so they played up the love triangle for the masses.

TL:DR: in canon? I'm not a fan of Mudshock. In fanon, where it gets explored and balanced out and all three of them are healthy and supportive??? ABSOLUTELY SIGN ME UP BABY

#breathless speaks #nya smith #nya ninjago #jay walker #jaya #jay ninjago #jayashipping #mudshock #cole x nya #i forgot what cole x nya omfggg

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cafeleningrad · 6 months

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Wakaba thoughts again. There're many things to say about the Black Rose Arc but one of them is not only how the gendered order is enforced with a lot of violence but also the social order. Those who have not been deemed special by Akio, non-duelists, are treated terribly as probs, as means to an end. And if they wish to change that they're faced with (emotional) repression.

Akio categorizes people either special by default (although he selects duelists by the degree he can use them for his own goals, and only ocassionally special if they appear unplanned on his radar. What a terrible worldview, as he says this in "Wakaba flourishes", because actually... Wakaba can be great at sports and schools. I mean alwaready way before Saionji's presence was a motivation in her life, on her way home, many friends asked her to hang out, she's well liked. Anthy and Utena both genuinely enjoy her cooking. Wakaba has not only one but three love intersts, in Tatsuya, Saionji (out of his necessity but curious that it was Wakaba of all people), and Utena, all genuinely close. For someone who would stereotypically occupy the role of genki girl side character that's way more than for even some popular duelists. In episode 12, she was the one capable of pulling out Utena of her depression because she understood and adored her so much. Wakaba always was well liked, has some genuinely good skills, her shining in sports, and school was due to her feeling special enough to dare step out of the role of the regular girl although she already had it in her. It's so insidious that the motivational push to bring out the most of herself depends so much on male attention. As the shadow girl play tells us, Ohtori is a place pushing the idea that people, specifically girls, need princes, specifically male attention, but actually, they don't why they need them in the first place or what they should actually do with them. (Girls like Juri or Nanami get a chance at beig special individuals on their own. in spite of being girls. That rug is pulled away from them when Ruka tries to converse Juri by force, and Nanami's exceptionalism entirely depends on her relationship to a boy, namely being Touga's little sister).

Wakaba was always great but all her potential gets locked away behind the social indoctrination of only male attentiondetrmining her worth, and not by the potential she obviously has in herself. However, Akio's social order that she isn't allowed to be anything than a side character although she, with three love interests, being quiet popular for "a normal girl", and the potentieal to be top of her class, could break down her box easily. Further on, she doesn't recognize that it all could be sourced from her won well.

#RGU #Revolutionary Girl Utena #Shinohara Wakaba #I love my best girl Wakaba

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mikuni14 · 8 months

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Sing My Crush

I binged Sing My Crush and absolutely loved the series. I liked practically everything, from the main and side characters, the interesting and innovative type of the villain and the conflict he created, the fact that the "11th episode drama" has its mostly external causes, that one of the ML falls in love twice and it's treated completely normally, that the story is interesting and well narrated, both MLs are equally likable and I was cheering for both of them, there was no separation at the end, which I totally expected, all problems were solved practically right away.

What I also liked is how both MLs reflect the "cat and dog energy", but in a way that is not irritating. I especially mean how typical a "puppy-golden retriever" is Im Han Tae. But he is the way I like, that is, this "dog" energy gives him only good features, i.e. absolute loyalty, optimism, willingness to help, the need to save and to care for other people, sincere and bubbly personality. And what's especially important to me about the "puppy/sunshine" personality type, which the series NOTORIOUSLY fail to do right, is that these characters sometimes come off "stupid", BUT THEY ARE NOT STUPID. It's just that someone else is taking advantage of their good nature and good intentions, and their belief in the goodness and good intentions of other people, or that they're being caught off-guard and need time to think.

Unfortunately, many shows create scenes for characters like this, often intended to be comedic, that "puppy" literally behaves stupid, or like a pre-pubescent boy in a man's body, and in some extreme cases like someone who, sorry to write this, appears to have some intellectual and developmental disabilities. The perfect example of this type of character for me was this guy from Love Tractor, which made me unable to finish the show because I felt so bad watching this 20 year old man act like he was raised in the jungle, who doesn't understand what's going on with him and his body and is completely freaking out. To me, mentally he was literally a child, I felt sick watching him as a love interest of a grown man.

Being child-like is ok when it is part of a personality that is open, trusting, cheerful, eager to explore the world, and curious. Being child-like as a mental level of an adult person is not ok, to me it's just creepy.

When I started watching Sing My Crush and I saw Im Han Tae I thought oh boy, here we go again, another man-child. And you don't know how happy I am that I was wrong. Im Han Tae has all the best features of the golden retriever personality type and is also smart and acts like a guy his age. Unlike many characters of his type in movies and series, he never runs away from his feelings, he confronts them and confronts Han Ba Ram, and when he needs time to think, he doesn't spend it avoiding and hurting in the process his love interest, or feeling sorry for himself and freaking out, but actually thinks the situation through . Like an adult. And he always, ALWAYS, tries his best not to hurt Han Ba Ram, even when he's angry with him.

Similarly, Han Ba Ram, who is portrayed as a typical "cute" and withdrawn character with "cat" energy, is not stereotypical, but also smart, has his own life outside of the romance, his own worries and desires that he doesn't want to "burden" other people with and is a good person who worries about others, and definitely tends to be self-sacrificing. And yes, he's incredibly cute and cries prettily (I thought I'd die and just turn into a puddle of goo when he started crying after boxing class 🥺🥺) and he's soooo adorable and I'd do anything for him (as well as Han Tae who is such a great character).

Ok, I will stop here, because of the chaos of my thoughts regarding this series. Unfortunately I binged the series with only one break, instead of writing my thoughts after each episode, which is the best way not to miss and organize all my reflections about the series 😉 Anyway, I highly recommend this series, I don't think there are any major, or even minor flaws (ok, maybe too much music, but the title says it all, also the singer's voice is really nice). Wow, this year Korea is spoiling me, this is the third series that I like so much 🤩

#sing my crush #korean bl #bl drama

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bropunzeling · 5 months

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⭐star⭐ of any part of linger!!

oh god too much freedom; how do you feel about the brady/quinn relationship reveal? bc i'm gonna do the brady/quinn relationship reveal:

It’s not a great night. Matthew drinks one or two more beers than he should, enough that he’s itchy and heated long past the sun going down. He spends an hour or two swatting at mosquitoes and doing a bad job of ignoring his phone. [he is being such an awful person right now, and he knows it, and he can't stop himself. whomst among us? obvi the main reason is career stress, but i like it also as a subtle hint that heat is coming as well] What makes things worse is there’s seemingly no one to talk to. He’s too old for Taryn and her friends, who are preoccupied by classes and the upcoming field hockey season and incomprehensible friend group drama that Matthew would need a cast of characters to have a hope of figuring out. On the other hand, Brady and Quinn are lost in their own corner of the backyard, chairs angled towards each other as they talk in low voices. No point in trying to break into that conversation. [you can pry "loneliness while in the company of people who love you" as a motif out of my cold dead hands] Matthew barely makes it a few hours before giving up and going to bed.

To add insult to injury, he tosses and turns all night, head full of strange, feverish dreams. The creak of a bed. Low, gasping sounds he can barely hear. The brush of fingers along his spine. Lips pressed against his shoulder. [the way matthew's dreams played out over the course of the fic is one of those things that like, i did it twice and then i realized i was doing a motif lol. like, the way that the dreams are a space where he gets to want things that his conscious self won't allow him to, and how they're tied to his heats but he's not actually in heat at the time? so it's really a like, even when you aren't out of your mind, this is a thing that you want at least subconsciously. and i liked turning it on its head both in the next scene, where it's brady and quinn doing something matthew's so afraid of, and then of course at the end, where the dream leon isn't a dream at all. anyway. i love dreamscapes!]

“Do you want,” Leon says in the dream, almost a question. His eyes are wide and dark, his hair soft in Matthew’s hands. His mouth hovers over the curve of Matthew’s neck, breath hot and wet against Matthew’s skin. So close together that Matthew can’t breathe anything but Leon’s scent, heady and perfect. Matthew tilts his head back, eyes shut, and waits for the scrape of teeth. [it's not just that matthew's horny for leon - he's horny for leon in a specific way that he doesn't want to allow himself to want. he wants leon in the way that means he's falling right into stereotypes about how he as an omega should be, and that's why he finds it so dangerous, because what else does that mean about him? what else does that mean about how he relates to his dynamic?]

He blinks awake with his face pressed into the pillows. They smell like nothing at all.

Normally, Matthew isn’t the first to get up when he’s on vacation. But at 7:09, he has to accept that any chance of another hour of shitty, restless sleep is gone. [i love to make people have a horrible night's sleep. this is because i often have a horrible night's sleep. if i suffer so should my blorbos.] Might as well make some coffee about it.

He’s on his second cup of mediocre drip coffee, staring blankly at his phone as it stubbornly refuses to show him any new messages, [looking at this sentence is making me think about, how i use phones in fic??? v off topic lol but like, it's such a useful device. form of self-distraction. form of self-isolation. a thing you keep looking at because you're hoping someone will talk to you. it's especially useful in matthew/leon fic because like, it's one of the only methods for bridging distance. obvi here matthew is most potently wanting a message about his career (the apparent first priority) but later he's also going to be thinking about leon, too] when a clattering draws his attention.

“Oh shit,” Brady says softly, wincing as he picks up the empty seltzer cans he apparently knocked over and drops them by the overflowing recycling bin. [relatable, brady] All he has on is a ratty pair of basketball shorts, which was clearly the bare minimum to make himself presentable for coming downstairs. “I didn’t know you were up.”

Matthew shrugs and slurps his coffee. It doesn’t help the pounding in his temples. [poor matthew with his heat pms] “Yeah, well,” he says, shrugging. “Didn’t sleep great.”

Brady winces again, scratching at the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Matthew says. It’s not like Brady’s responsible for his weird, hazy dreams, or the fact that once they were over he never really drifted off again. [i loved the set up/pay off of these two paragraphs. brady is saying he's sorry by rote/doesn't really think he's the cause, but also he is responsible, because matthew overheard him]

Brady nods, then goes for the cabinets, opening doors until he finds the mugs. He takes down two, pouring coffee into each of them and shoving the empty pot back into the coffeemaker. They’re gonna need some more. Matthew’s about to tell Brady to start brewing another pot when he’s distracted by the shadow of a bruise barely visible under Brady’s jaw. Not just a bruise. A hickey. [i think so far brady and quinn have been relatively careful (relatively) but the thing is, they're young and horny, and they've been talking about telling people, and that makes them be a little less cautious. like leaving marks!] One that Matthew doesn’t remember noticing yesterday. But when would Brady have had the time to—

Matthew shuts his mouth hard enough to accidentally bite his tongue and yelps.

“Dude,” Brady says, staring at him with wide-eyed concern. “Are you okay?”

Matthew blinks away the pain, jiggling his leg under the table until it eases. When it finally ebbs, he manages to gasp out, “Did you and Quinn hook up last night?” [god, this moment was so satisfying to get to. i knew from the start that they were gonna get together mid-fic, but i really wanted the whole brady/quinn relationship evolution to be one of those things where like, it just creeps in really slowly due to matthew's limited perspective. to that effect i was really careful to always make sure i was mentioning quinn in every brady scene, so like, the sense of linkage was there the whole time, but there's still that kind of wham moment when it all comes together. and i think it worked! or at least based on some initial reader comments it worked. hopefully it did :)]

Brady blanches. “What?”

“You have a,” Matthew says, reaching up and poking at the hinge of his jaw until Brady mirrors him. When Brady finds the bruise, his cheeks flush pink. “And—was that you that I heard last night?” The bed creaking, the low murmurs—those weren’t his dream. Those were real. Those were Brady and Quinn, holy shit. [subtle, boys! but again, really loved the like - reality influencing dreams aspect of this (and of course, leading to the payoff of the final dream sequence!)]

“I,” Brady stutters. His face is turning redder and redder. “We were trying to be quiet.”

“Well, you weren’t,” Matthew informs him. His own face is hot. God, how long has this been happening without him knowing? “Since when do you and Quinn hook up?”

“We’re not hooking up,” Brady blurts out. “We’re dating.” [like brady would EVER ~just hook up~, the romantic lil fuck]

Matthew blinks at him. “Dating.” [it's so so so telling that this is the thing matthew is getting stuck on :) hooking up would be understandable, because matthew has done similarly. dating, though,,,]

Brady nods, chin jutting out as he crosses his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah,” he says. “Since April.”

“Oh,” Matthew says. He can’t quite tell what he’s feeling. Relief that he hasn’t missed the obvious for too long. A strange, prickly hurt that it’s apparently been months and Brady hasn’t said a word. [obviously like, brady is gonna end up being mostly in the right in this fight, but every fight is better if both sides are a little bit right, and matthew's right to be hurt! this is a big secret to keep. i wanted matthew's bad reaction to come from an understandable place.] Even though Matthew’s his brother. Even though Matthew’s supposed to know everything Brady’s up to. “But you didn’t—have you told anyone else?”

Brady shakes his head. “Not yet. We were—it was just texting for a while, and phone calls, and stuff. We wanted to make sure we were—you know.” Brady’s as red as a lobster now. “When we were together.” [poor brady unable to think of, let alone say, that they were making sure they were sexually compatible lol]

“I get the picture,” Matthew says, saving Brady before he gets too embarrassed. “But like—you still could’ve said something,” he insists. His voice is strange and wavery and he hates it. [i feel like one of my matthew characterization touchstones is the idea of performance, outer self vs inner self, polished media self vs on the ice self vs self in company of those you trust. and especially in this fic, vulnerability is a big theme - matthew doesn't want to be looked at while he's in heat. matthew doesn't want to be perceived as soft or wanting or needy or upset. he has to be tough, he has to roll with the punches, he can't let other people in! even with the sex positions it comes up! (but if u want more discussion about that u gotta ask about that one :)) ANYWAY all this to say: he is upset here and he knows brady can tell and he hates it.]

Brady rubs his arms. “I wanted to be sure,” he says. “For us to be sure. And I—I don’t know, I wondered if you’d…”

“What?” Matthew asks, when Brady doesn’t keep talking. He would what?

Brady shrugs, an odd, stiff motion. “I dunno. Be weird.”

Matthew’s gut twists. “Why would I be weird?” he asks, voice coming out harder than he means it to. [ohhhhh buddy]

Brady gives another little shrug before looking at Matthew. His expression is familiar, the same pig-headed stubbornness Matthew’s known all his life, except for the flicker in his eyes, the way he licks his lips. [brady is extremely nervous to talk about this (for good reason)] “Well,” he says slowly. “Because I’m an alpha, and Quinn’s…”

“Yeah, I know Quinn’s a beta,” Matthew retorts. [he is trying to be soooo normal and chill about all these revelations and failing completely] He grabs his mug and takes a sip of coffee. Big mistake. The acidity makes his stomach churn even more. [i do love to make a stomach churn. lol. rip to those of us who want to throw up when we're nervous] “Why would I be weird about that?”

“I don’t know, because you’ve always been weird about that shit?” [it's always the people who know you best who can cut you down the fastest, isn't it. and brady basically has matthew's psychological profile memorized]

Matthew recoils, stung. “No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you fucking are,” Brady snaps back. Now his shoulders are set, feet planted far apart, ready to take up the whole kitchen. Matthew can catch Brady’s scent now, too, the sticky malt and yeast of a spilled beer that always grows stronger when he’s upset. [trying to come up with a scent profile for literally anyone other than leon (whose i knew at the outset) was like pulling teeth. for someone who does not think about smells at all, i sure picked a poor subject matter. anyway for brady i was like, wouldn't it be funny if he smelled kind of like a frat house when he's upset, and then i went for it. he smells much better when he's happy, more like fresh bread. also quinn's a beta so it doesn't matter in any case. it takes all sorts!] “You may act like dynamics don’t matter to you, like it’s all bullshit, but you’re the one who always thought that I—that every alpha wants to find a nice omega to court. That everyone wants a bond. That everyone wants to be traditional.” [i was musing on twitter the other day that i don't always write on a ~sentence~ level - when i'm writing, i'm really thinking about where i want the scene to go or what beat i want to hit and the particulars of any given sentence isn't that big a deal (though obviously i want things to have rhythm, flow, etc - it's a very "i know it when i write it" thing). that said, with every long fic i often have a dialogue exchange that i want to get in there that i've thought about a lot, and this was one of them. i knew i wanted someone calling matthew on his bullshit - how he acts like he's tough and somehow different from other omegas (which is very internalized something of him!) but he falls into the same traps that he's trying to avoid, stereotyping alphas the way he would hate to be stereotyped - and i knew it was gonna be brady.]

Matthew blinks at him, feeling oddly off-balance. He’s not used to this version of Brady, angry and bowling him over in a way that’s nothing like wrestling for an Xbox controller or blocking each other out playing basketball in the driveway. Saying that Matthew’s the one who cares too much, when it’s not even caring, not really. It’s just knowing how the world works. [i looooove this little beat, because he thinks that! he really does! despite all the evidence that brady and leon and johnny & sean and his own parents have provided to show that there's no one way to be with other people] “I don’t think—”

Brady cuts him off. “Yeah, you do. But you know what? I don’t want to have a bond by twenty-five. I don’t want to do any of that shit. It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“You sure about that?” [this is such a older sibling way to fuck up. as in i have done this myself in arguments with my younger sibling! there is no better way to piss them off than to doubt they know what they want.]

It’s the wrong thing to say. He knows as soon as the words leave his mouth. But there’s no chance of walking them back. Not when Brady’s lips are pressed together so hard they’ve gone white.

“I know what I want,” Brady says after a moment. His voice is choked up, and Matthew can’t tell if it’s because he’s angry or because he’s about to cry. Fuck, he hopes it’s not the latter, but he thinks that it is. [it is :(] “I’ve known for years. I’m not gonna change my mind.” [the brady/quinn backstory and specifically brady longing for quinn for literal years is some of my favorite shit to contemplate and work in, it was so nice and wholesome compared to rat boy's mess.. he was just a gangly little guy, getting used to a whole new world of smells and instincts, and here he is falling ass over teakettle for his best friend!]

“Brady—”

“I’m not,” Brady says, glaring back at Matthew. “Just because you want to be like Dad doesn’t mean I do.” [another line i always knew i wanted in here. matthew wants to be like his dad and can't. brady could be like his dad and doesn't want to. :)]

And with that, Brady grabs the coffee mugs and walks away.

“Brady,” Matthew says, standing halfway up, banging his thighs into the kitchen table. “Brady.” He doesn’t know what to say next, how to fix this, but it doesn’t matter. Brady’s already gone. [sorry to rat boy for making you fuck up so much. i will again.]

#ask meme #omega matthew

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tantive404 · 1 year

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Recently, I came across these tweets, and I kind of can’t stop thinking about this.

I adore villain x heroine ships and dynamics, and frequently find myself pondering what it is I love so much about them. One thing I’ve come to notice is this very idea: the importance of the male villain’s desire for her… his near-obsession and the fact that he is threatened by her. And, as mentioned in those tweets, part of what makes that so special is the rarity of seeing men or male characters treat women as being so important, as being valid or worthy of consideration as a threat. To me, it can be almost empowering to explore such dynamics through fiction.

One of my favorite movies, of course, is Star Wars: A New Hope, and primarily because I’ve always been absolutely obsessed with whatever is going on with Leia and Vader and Tarkin there. It always draws me right in… the powerful Dark Lord near-obsessively chasing down this tiny defiant young princess, slaying so many soldiers and going through such effort, so adamant that she be brought to him alive.

And from there, she’s treated as a high-class prisoner, heavily guarded and locked up tight, interrogated ruthlessly… but resisting with all the strength and pride of a leader in an underdog rebel movement. She’s essentially the one who is the key to the entire story.

As for Tarkin, he spends much of his screen time dealing with Leia… focused on how best to break the rebel prisoner who holds such key information in this galaxy-spanning war. Most famously, of course, this is illustrated with the destruction of Alderaan… an entire planet wiped away as an act of spite and a means to manipulate the girl he regards as a critical enemy. He is rather creepy and demeaning to her, too, but this only serves to add to a complex power dynamic worth exploring….

Moreover, I imagine it is rare to see a powerful military man treating a nineteen-year-old young woman as a credible threat to his Empire, but in ANH, it’s very much the case. And with the villain/heroine subtext I rather enjoy envisioning from their little scenes together, it can be quite captivating and unique.

There are a lot of similarly enjoyable pairings in many mahou shoujo series— Usagi and Dimande in Sailor Moon, Ichigo and Kisshu in Tokyo Mew Mew, and all manner of Pretty Cure rarepairs— where young girls simply trying their best are the ultimate key to defeating evil and have an ongoing rivalry/love-hate relationship with the worst of monsters. The subtext in such dynamics is fun to explore just as it popular in fandom to do with many popular male superheroes and their archenemies— Batman and the Joker, for instance.

In fact, even when it comes to the most cliche and stereotypical damsel-in-distress stories, the inciting incident, the villain’s capture of the innocent girl, always comes from his inherent desire for her— whether it be her beauty or status, or some form of obstacle which she presents to his evil plan.

It’s so strange and fascinating to think that these sorts of dynamics, particularly when it comes to ship discourse in fandom, are often decried as “toxic” and “abusive”. It’s not as if there aren’t some very dangerous power dynamics at play— which only makes these relationships that much more fun to explore in fiction— but so too can they truly serve as a power fantasy for women and girls, who are so often told made to feel as if we aren’t important.

Sometimes I just need a villain to chase me across the galaxy and regard me as his “worthy foe”, you know? 🥺🥰

#villain x heroine #enemies to lovers #damsel in distress #terrible analysis by tantive #tarkin x leia #leia and vader #willeia #vaderleia #usagi x dimande #kisshigo #leia organa #darth vader #wilhuff tarkin #i am just having some thoughts ok #I love it when a plucky tiny girl is pursued by a creepy dangerous villain #it’s fun

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crashcitycentral · 8 months

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ListEn y’all, my best friend got me into this ship so I blame @piedpipersupremacy for this.

WE ARE SLEEPING ON HARTLEY x SNART

Hartley is canonically Gay and Snart is canonically Bi.

In this house, we live laugh love Hartley, but if y’all know his character from like the 90s to now, him dating a cop really just doesn’t make sense?? Like we KNOW he supports ACAB and defund the police campaigns. This mans is a socialist justice protester and he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty to fight for civil rights. HE ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATING A POLITICAL CAMPAIGNER BECAUSE OF HIS FUCKED POLICIES I MEAN COME ON!!

He’s as morally grey as they come, and he doesn’t really play into the good/bad stereotypes. He picks whatever side will help his goals meet, whatever the cost. Even at risk of his own sanity in some cases. His best friends are Wally West, Linda West, and James Jesse. Even though his bestie is a Flash, he STILL joined the rogues and to this day he uses his powers and technology to help whatever cause he deems worthy of helping.

He sends his rats out to find missing persons. He steals money from corporations stealing the livelihood of lower class working people. He advocates for homeless, LGBTQ+, POC, pro choice, renewable energy, etc etc. He is a good person that sometimes does bad things for good reasons.

So yeah, him and David? Not a great match.

ON THE OTHER HAND!!

Leonard freaking Snart. Where to begin with this. Leader of the rogues and devout older brother. His little sister comes first, always, Just like Hartley’s little sister does for him.

Even though he starts a whole gang just to send a huge middle finger to the justice system that failed him time and time again, he sets up these rules that all of the rogues must follow or there will be severe punishment.

No killing supers or flashes. No killing women or children (generally all civilians are off limits). Don’t betray your fellow rogue.

He hand picked not only a highly skilled team of super criminals, but he also created a family.

Snart’s best friend, Mick Rory, for all the arsonist tendencies and gruff exterior he exudes, still has a soft touch. Later on in the comics, he’s even seen turning a new leaf and going on the good side, helping Hartley and James keep their friends from making a huge ass mistake. If that doesn’t tell you their judge of character, I don’t know what will.

Not only that, but Snart spends holidays DELIVERING PRESENTS TO ORPHANAGES DRESSED AS SANTA! Tell me he’s “cold hearted” after that. You can’t.

He truly does care for his community, and by having the most well respected and feared gang, he simultaneously keeps the streets clean of normal gang activity you might see because they claimed most of the terf on Central City and no one wants to mess with the crazy super powered team.

Sometimes it feels like they rob someplace just for the kick of it, or to keep up appearances. They don’t really need any more money, they’ve stolen A LOT of it and we don’t necessarily see em use it much besides when Hartley is donating it anonymously to charity.

Despite Hartley’s “betrayal” to the rogues, Snart and him still seem relatively friendly with each other. Here is a panel where Hartley is helping Wally clean up some of the chaos in the city the Rogues and instigating, and Snart even calls him “old friend” despite him working with the supposed enemy.

And, despite Hartley leaving his rogue legacy behind and he and James leave for good, there are moments where Hartley shows a bit of regret for leaving them like that and implies that he even misses them.

Snart sought out Piper because he was the first person to break out of Iron Heights, unaided. The original escapee. Both of them are wicked smart and clever, use dry humour and sarcasm, create their own weapons and keep their secrets close to their chest with hearts of bleeding gold. They do what’s right by their own accounts, even if they have to do something wrong to make ends meet.

#AKSKDLFMGL #LITERALLY MADE FOR EACH OTHER #SOULMATES #hartley rathaway #leonard snart #pied piper #captain cold #flash rogues

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joons · 9 months

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rewriting barbie (2023) from scratch, here we go.

the movie cribs mostly from toy story 4 (toys experience midlife crises when kids aren't playing with them), but i would have built it around toy story 2's themes of legacy and mint-in-box status. the barbies in barbieland are all confined to the roles given to them by mattel. she is dr. barbie because she has the doctor outfit. she is stereotypical barbie because she doesn't do anything beyond look pretty and cute. ken is beach ken because he's got sun-bleached hair. this is how adults look at barbies. this is how a toy collector looks at barbies.

maybe this barbieland is the visual representation of america ferrera's barbie collection, a very regimented, very beautiful, very adult way of recapturing her childhood. the barbies never leave their box. the ones that don't have boxes are placed very precisely on shelves, held up by stands with spotlights on them.

sasha does not relate to this at all. she has the same critiques of barbie as a status symbol and impossible standard for women that she has in the film.

but there's another, younger character, maybe a girl that sasha - like skipper! - is babysitting. she plays with barbies the way weird barbie is played with. when she gets into gloria's barbie stash, she starts seeing them as their own people who are not defined by the outfits they wear. this barbie is a machiavellian criminal who is trying to recruit other barbies to break into a bank. this barbie is more comfortable hanging out with the kens because she is bullied by the other barbies. this barbie is a shapeshifter who turns into a barbie horse or a barbie dog as the girl replaces her with another figurine.

things immediately start going wrong for the barbies in barbieland. this isn't correct! this is weird! weird barbie laughs and tells them how they can find out what's going wrong by entering the real world.

as barbie and ken find their way into the real world, sasha discovers what the girl is doing to her mom's collection. at first, she's afraid of gloria punishing her because she knows how much this means to her mom. but as she watches, she sees a funny way of reclaiming barbie for herself and poking the whole concept of barbie in the eye, and maybe her mom is lame for not seeing this. she starts to play with the girl too. now the barbies are fomenting class consciousness and talking about how the kens are repressing them. the barbies are talking about how degrading it is that they can't be weird or ugly or mean. the barbies start understanding the patriarchy.

"the patriarchy?" the girl says. "is that like how men are always riding horses? or how men are on all the money?"

sasha blinks. "yeah, sure."

"well, i like horses," the girl says. "that sounds fun. my kens are going to go to war with the barbies now."

"no!" sasha says. "the patriarchy isn't that simple ... it's ... the kens don't KNOW they're doing it, exactly. it's because they don't consider the barbies as real people. they don't think of them as people who can BE mean or ugly or weird."

"my barbies are already mean and ugly and weird. that's how i like them. i want the kens to be mean and ugly and weird too!"

"oh, it's on," says sasha. they play-act feminist theory and counterarguments through the lens of a generational gap, where the girl's innocent imagination sometimes sees how sasha's anger can also limit the way she sees barbie. barbie and ken can truly be anything. maybe we have to hold onto that part of ourselves even as we learn more about how women are limited in the real world, because how else are we going to make those stories real?

barbie and ken find gloria, and she talks about how much she loves barbie, but how much she'd like to see herself in them again, someone who is struggling to understand her daughter. the barbies in her collection are just something she dreams of being. they are not who she is. she is old and doesn't feel very pretty or accomplished. she is just trying to get by.

barbie sees her as beautiful, despite the fact that this barbie is connected to gloria's emotions and is starting to feel less than too.

ken is becoming connected to the girl playing with gloria's ken at home. he is beginning to see that he can be more too. the world seems designed for kens in a way he's never experienced before. he has to go tell the other kens about horses and money and the godfather! ("who showed this 6-year-old girl the godfather?" sasha wonders.)

probably ken and barbie don't make it back to barbieland, but the audience sees everything that's happening there, the way it starts to become an allegory for the gender wars, a fight for meaning and nuance in a world that makes kens and barbies exactly what they're made for and nothing else. but what WERE they made for? is this really what mattel or ruth handler wanted?

as barbie, ken, gloria, sasha, and the 6-year-old girl talk it out, they realize that they are all right, in a way. we do need aspirational figures to inspire us, but sometimes we need to see ourselves too. we don't need to accept how barbies are meant to be played with as the only option. we do have to accept help from other women who have longer histories with barbie and can see how she both frustrates and inspires our conception of ourselves. we do have to see ourselves through the eyes of our inner child who's a little bit weird and doesn't accept any limitations on themselves at all. we have to learn confidence in ourselves from young women, teenage women, angry women, sad women, mom women, older women, women who want to be more or less than what they've been told they have to be.

because the movie is so discursive without grounding it in the experience of human women, women with very different approaches to femininity and barbie as a tool, it comes off as didactic and uncritical of its own point-of-view, which is actually quite limiting in how it imagines barbies liberating themselves; by being told how impossible it is to be a woman, they accept that limitation and operate through stereotypes to fight the patriarchy, pretending to be stupid and playing with kens' egos and dating around in order to pit the kens against each other. in the context of the film, there is no sense that this ... isn't what women are really like, or that we really ought to be able to imagine more for ourselves than that, regardless of how "powerful" we think the patriarchy is. but if that aspect of the film had been grounded in a child's understanding of the anger she was hearing from older women, then we could easily see the flaws in that kind of response, while understanding why some women might really do that.

develop the human characters as people with widely diverse understandings of who they are in relation to society and in relation to dolls, give them each a way of seeing themselves and their struggles in the dolls, and understand why each of them would buy a doll or at least use the dolls to understand each other better, and the whole movie is much smarter, warmer, and more human. a barbie movie that's truly for everyone.

#barbie #barbie (2023)#obviously there are many ways this film could have been approached #but i think i was most frustrated by how sealed off barbieland really is from the human characters #give humans the opportunity to shape that world as barbieland shapes theirs #and a lot of my issues would be largely fixed #barbie spoilers

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