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retroellie · 3 years

Note

can you do an ellie x joel's daughter!reader headcanon or imagine? maybe like set during the first game when they are like first getting to know each other and bonding (and developing crushes on each other 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩)

Summary: Joel daughter’s falling in love with ellie

A/N: UGHHH my heart melted at the thought of this, Thank you for requesting<3 Also i’m sorry i suck at writing Imagines and yes i did express my love for David Bowie, what about it?

Warning: None, just innocent teenage love :)

Word count: 1.8K

You watched her laugh, throwing her head back in a fit of laughter. Sam was telling her jokes he had heard and she laughed at every single one. It wasn’t fair, you should’ve been the one making her laugh, you wanted to be the reason but Sam dropped in and whisked her away from you.

You gripped onto your book, not able to concentrate on the jumble of words, too distracted by the laughter coming from the two of them. You weren’t used to feeling jealous, there weren’t too many people you felt jealous towards but this felt horrible. It felt like someone was hanging food above your head and you were starving but you were a few inches too short.

You have been through hell and back, you saw your mom die in front of you, you have killed so many people that you almost feel numb to the feeling of it. So why did this feeling hurt so much, why did it feel like your heart was being stomped on. Were you finally at your breaking point?

“Hey kiddo.” A voice interrupted your thoughts

You looked up from your book, it was your dad. He gave you a comforting smile and plopped down next to you.

“Hey dad..” You replied, He was bruised up from the group you guys had run into on the way here.

“How are you holding up?” He asked, placing a hand on your knee.

“I'm okay,” You said, your voice trailing off and your eyes lingering over the book hoping he wouldn’t read into your answer.

You weren’t sure how to feel anymore, everything was coming at you so quickly that you haven’t had time to process it. New emotions that you didn’t even know you could feel and old ones that you feel too often. Grief, loss, jealousy... love?

“How about you put that book down and get some sleep, huh?” He said, shutting the book.

“I was just getting to the good part.” You chuckled, looking over at him.

He shook his head and grabbed the book from you, setting it on a near table. He got up, allowing you to fully lay down. You rolled up in a ball, the coldness sending shivers down your spine.

“I will never know where you get your smarts..” He joked, placing his jacket over you.

You cuddled up underneath it, suddenly exhausted. You hadn’t noticed how you haven’t slept in almost 24 hours, you all had been on the move ever since meeting sam and henry only resting once through it all.

“Get some sleep kiddo, you need the rest.” He smiled down at you, turning to leave.

He walked to the other side of the room, next to henry. They were cleaning up after dinner, getting ready for bed. You looked over at Sam and Ellie once more, they both sleepily told stories and dreams they had. Your eyes had fallen heavy and you could feel yourself being consumed by sleep.

You were asleep for a couple hours before you woke up, the quietness of the room creeped you out. You weren’t able to fall back asleep so you decided to get up and go read in the moonlight. You crept around the sleeping bags and backpacks that had been thrown around lazily.

You found a comfortable looking windowsill you could sit on and opened your book. The book was some old book you found in a cafe you had been through, it was about a red headed girl that didn’t fit in and was just trying to find her way through life, find her purpose. You enjoyed it, feeling connected to the character somehow.

“Can’t sleep?” A voice said from the darkness, causing you to flinch.

You snapped your head toward the voice, ready to grab anything to protect yourself with. It was Ellie, your body relaxed a little bit. She chuckled at your alertness.

“No, it’s too quiet here.” You replied, setting your book down.

She walked slowly over to the windowsill you were sat on and took a seat next to you. She gave you a small smile, that tiny smile made your heart do flip flops.

“Right, the QZ’s, they can be loud huh?” She said, turning her attention to the window.

You’ve never had time to really study her face, you didn’t notice the freckles dotted across her face or how green her eyes were. She would be pretty painted on a piece of paper, with all kinds of greens and peaches creating a perfect masterpiece.

“Would you ever go back?” She started. “I mean to a QZ?” She turned her attention towards you, her green eyes boring into your skin.

“I mean I don't think we can go back to Boston. '' You remembered, you never really let that sink in. What the fuck were you guys gonna do now. “But even if i could, i wouldn’t.”

She chuckled, she wanted to draw you especially right now. The moonlight brought out your eyes, making them more prominent and dreamy. She was afraid she would fall into them if she kept staring at them.

“I thought i liked it at the QZ but now that i’m here i don’t think i ever wanna go back.” She looked back up at you.” it’s so pretty out here.” You nodded, looking at anything but her eyes.

“My mom really wanted to get out of the city.” You stated. “She and my dad always wanted to fix up an old farmhouse.” You smiled at the dream you all had, knowing now it will never happen.

Your mom was always a fighter, hell she even died one, but she was a dreamer at heart. You were proud to be like your mom, she was the only person in the world who saw things in a different way, that was until you met ellie.

“Hey,” Ellie attempted to get your attention. You gave it to her, looking up at her. “I’m sorry about your mom, she was a really good person.” You could tell she was trying to make you feel better but it was hardly working, but you just smiled anyways.

“Thanks.” You chuckled. “You know, she was the only person who didn’t make me feel any less than others because of who I am. Now that she’s gone i don’t know what to feel.”

Ellie remained silent, letting you talk and she actually listened. She was easy to talk to, you never really told anyone what you were feeling but of all the people you had met she just felt different.

“That reminds me of my best friend riley.” She spoke, breaking the silence. “I’ve never really had a home or a family to love but she felt like both.” She fumbled with her fingers, her nervousness evident.

“And where is she right now?” You asked.

She fell silent for a minute, suddenly her nervousness dropped to utter sadness. You thought you said something you shouldn’t, not sure how to fix it. You just let her take her time, sitting there with her, the two of you alone... together.

“She got infected.” She finally said. You could feel your heart break for her, the one person she had taken from her. Ellie was completely alone.

You don’t know what came over you but you didn’t know what to do and you were so heart broken, so when you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her close, it surprised both of you. You both stayed like that for a moment, the shock causing Ellie to freeze up but she soon melted into your arms. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer.

She would be lying if she said she didn’t have butterflies in her stomach right now. You could stay wrapped in her arms forever, it was so warm and cozy something you didn’t feel a lot in this world.

You both stayed like that for a minute, not sure when to pull away. But you guys finally did and when you did you both were blushing up a storm. Ellie looked out the window once more, trying to cover her red face while you looked in the complete opposite direction trying to hide yours.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, you just seemed upset and I....”

“No no, it’s fine” she interrupted, looking over at you. “I needed it.”

You blushed even more, all the blood rushed to your face made you lightheaded. There was a deep nervousness in your stomach, the thoughts of you messing up your entire friendship with Ellie made you sick to your stomach.

The self-deprecating thoughts zoomed through your head, calling yourself every single stupid name there was. You didn’t want to mess what little you had with Ellie up, what if she doesn’t like you now??

“Y/N” she said, getting your attention once more. “When we get older and after they find a cure... let’s buy a farmhouse together.”

Your heart could beat out of your chest right now, you could die a happy death. All your worries about messing everything up melted away with that single statement. You smiled, looking down at your dangling feet.

“As long as i can get a horse, i’m down.” You chuckled, leaning against the window.

She smirked, watching your every move. There was a tension that arose that was never really there before, it wasn’t an uncomfortable tension. This was the first time you had ever felt calm on this entire trip, actually looking forward to the cure now.

“What would you name the horse?” she asked, trying anything to keep the conversation going. She found she really enjoyed talking to you.

“Hmmm.” You thought for a minute. “Bowie.” You said, smirking over at her.

“Bowie?” She asked.

“Yeah, like David Bowie?” You said, watching as her face contoured into confusion. “Like the singer?” You said in disbelief.

“Doesn’t ring any bells.” She replied, a blush forming on her face.

You shook you head, wondering how anyone could not know who David fucking Bowie was. Even through the apocalypse he was an icon.

“Well then, I have so much to teach you.” You joked.

She smirked, looking down at her hands. She knew she had some kind of feelings for you but this interaction just confirmed her feelings. She didn’t know what love felt like but she had an idea of what it felt like and it’s what she felt now. She could fall in love with you.

“Can’t wait.” She said with a smirk, hopping off the windowsill. “Goodnight.”

You watched as she walked away into the darkness, when she was finally out of sight you let out a small sigh. Your stomach did turns and your cheeks hurt from smiling, you’ve never had a crush before.

You weren’t sure what you felt towards her but you liked the feeling, it felt like what the authors described love in the 19th century. It was no other feeling like it.

(Credits to gif owner)

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us #the last of us x reader #tlou ellie #the last of us fanfiction

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drariellevalentine · 3 years

Text

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 13- Surprising Scenerio

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Liam Mercado, Ava Day, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Bryce Lahela, Danny Cardinal

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- Slight angst, PTSD

Arielle’s PoV:-

You’re woke up by a loud thud sound. “Huh!” You sit up and rub your eyes until they adjust to the very little sunlight streaming from the windows.

“Well look who’s up!” You would know this voice anywhere. Looking around, memories of last night slowly recollect in your head when you spot her.

“Ava!” You’re one step away from engulfing her in a bear hug when you remember she’s pregnant.

“So I see Liam’s let the cat out of the bag, huh?”, she laughs as she wraps you carefully in a hug. “You of all people should know it’s safe to hug pregnant women.”

You snort out of laughter. “Says the woman who has an MD in gynaecology.”, you retort. Both of you giggle. “Oh, it’s sooo good to see you Ava! It’s been so long! Way too long that you didn’t tell me one, you’re engaged and two, you’re pregnant!”

“I see the two of you have gotten acquainted already.” Both of you give him a look.

“Need I remind you that Arielle was the one who introduced us? We were best friends way back.”, Ava says.

“Ok, I get the point. It’s obviously not a fight I’m going to win with my fiancée and my childhood best friend against me!”, he says raising his hand in mock surrender as he heads inside.

“We need to catch up sometime! I would love to right now but I have work in about…”, you scan the room for a clock, “...an hour. Shit, an hour! I have to go!”, you say.

“Residency’s kicking your ass, isn’t it? Don’t worry, it’s kicking mine too!”, she replies.

“Anyways, what are you doing here in Boston? I asked Liam but he was all”- You gesture your hands wildly.

She laughs. “I’ll tell you, on one condition.”

“What?”

“Brunch.”

“I have work.” You give her a look as she rolls her eyes. “I see pregnancy hasn’t changed your personality one bit.”, you joke.

“I meant later this week, what do you say?”

You smirk, “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

“You’re not the only one who’s an intern, you know that right?”

“I know! I’ll call you, I promise!”, you say as you gather your things.

“In one month or two?”, she pokes.

“Okay, that’s just unfair. It was one time!”, you retort as you slip on your shoes.

“Where are you going already?” You turn around to see Liam dressed in work attire.

“She has work in an hour. Don’t worry, I made her promise to meet us for brunch later.”, Ava says.

“In a year or two?”, Mark asks sarcastically.

“Ughhh…. not you too!” All three of you laugh.

“Did you even eat anything?”, Liam asks.

“Nope, I’ll get something on the way.”, you reply.

“Nuh uh, sit your ass down. I’ll make you a breakfast bagel.”, Liam says.

“But”-

“Nope, you’re eating or else I’m not giving you your car keys.” You turn around to see your rose gold car keys dangling from Ava’s finger.

“Hey! I’m late for work and my boss is going to kill me!”, you say as a certain someone crosses your mind.

“Ooh! Who’s your boss?! ….is he hot?”, Ava asks with a smirk. You feel a slight blush settling on your cheeks.

“Ava! I’m right here!”

“Oh please, we’ve already established that you’re the only man in my life. Well maybe one of two…”, Ava says as she gestures to her stomach.

“Okay, now sit down, Arielle. I know you can’t resist my breakfast bagels. And I’m sure you need an aspirin for that hangover….”

One delicious bagel later, you’re in the locker room at Edenbrook with Sienna, Bryce and Elijah.

“So where’d you run off to yesterday?”, Elijah asks.

“Wait, she didn’t go back with you guys?”, Bryce asks.

“Nope!”, Sienna replies.

“I stayed at Liam’s house last night, and no Bryce.”, you respond as you grab your towel and shower gel.

“No to what? I didn’t even ask a question!”, Bryce asks.

“Exactly, keep your mouth shut.”, you reply while slipping into the shower. After pulling on a pair of scrubs, you head towards the nurses’ station.

“Hey Arielle, here for the PITA’s tests?”, Danny asks.

“Huh? Who’s PITA?”, you ask.

“PITA is a name the nurses gave Mr. Platt. It stands for pain in the ass.”, he says as she laughs.

You groan. “Ugh, you’re right about that. That man just loves to call my credentials in question! If he wasn’t a patient, I would just”-

“Woah, woah, woah. Take a chill pill. Heard that Dr. Ramsey assigned you this case, wouldn’t want to blow it if I were you.”, he says as he hands you the tests.

“God, nurses are like spies these days. They seem to know everything!”

You look through the test results as you walk up to Mr. Platt’s room.

“Damnit! These are negative too! Ughhhh…”

You take a deep breath before entering Nigel's room. You fake a smile as you enter.

"Good morning Mr.Pl-" you start to say as nicely as possible before he interrupts.

"Know what's wrong with me?" He asks angrily.

"No, not yet," you say sympathetically, " You recent tests came back negative as well."

"This is absurd," he burps, " I’m calling consumer affairs. I'll have you demoted before you can blink!”, he rudely barks at you. Your anger is starting to flare.

“Keep your cool, Arielle. He’s still a patient.”, you say to yourself.

"Why don't you get some rest while I figure out how to help you, Mr. Platt?" You reply as nicely as you can.

"Why don't you send someone worth listening to?", he says. The utter disrespect in his voice makes you want to sock him in the jaw. But instead, gritting your teeth you walk out of the room.

"Turn the A/C down while you are at it, will you?" He calls out from behind but you decide not to shout back, your hands curling into fists.

You make your way towards Dr. Ramsey's office. Your steps are slow and unsure as you question your abilities.

“Maybe father was right? After all, he always believed I wouldn’t be able to help people, at least in this way.”

You shake your head, as a futile attempt to throw the self-doubts outside your head. Bad memories surface, past fights and conversations arise. Words repeat again and again until you find it hard to breathe.

“Damn it!” Taking a few deep breaths to center yourself, you continue to his office.

“Come on, Arielle. You are capable of anything. You’ve come this far. What’s one patient?”, you try and convince yourself. That's when you spot Ethan. Anger boils up inside you, seeing his nonchalant face look over charts, assigning you this case for “a reason”? And when you ask, “figure it out”! What the hell does that mean?! You need answers, everything else can wait.

So you run up to him. "Dr. Ramsey, we need to talk!”, you voice louder than you expected.

“Yes?”, he asks with a questioning look, surprisingly ignoring your raised voice.

You steel yourself. “Mr. Platt is rude, belligerent and always questioning my credits. I would like to be taken off of this case.”

He looks at you for a second, straight in your eyes and says, “No.”

You’re taken aback, completely forgetting that you’re talking to your boss. “What?!”, you gawk.

“No. What part of that did you not understand?” Without waiting for your reply, he swiftly steps into his office and closes the door in your face. The anger gets to you, and against all common sense you pull open the the door and storm into his office. Ethan’s face betrays him, portraying his imminent shock.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m trying to know why you’ve assigned me this case!”, you say a little loudly.

“I already told you to figure it out.”, he says coldly.

“Well I tried but the only reason I came up with is that it’s a joke.”, you say completely burnt out.

His face turns deadly serious. “Do I look like someone who uses patients as a joke?”

“Well I don’t know! It feels like you’re punishing me!”

His face is slightly red as he suddenly gets up, his chair tumbling down to the floor. “And why would I punish you, for God’s sake?”, he asks as he takes long strides towards you.

“I don’t know, maybe because you enjoy it!!”, you shout completely out of your mind.

"You need to keep your personal feelings sperate from your professional life, Dr. Valentine." He shouts, hurting you more.

He doesn't even let you say anything, " I'd think very carefully before you say something to embarrass yourself even more." He slams his hand on his desk.

You can feel tears welling in your eyes, you close your eyes for a second in a attempt to make them stay there.

"Would I be saying anything that wasn't true?" Anger can be still hinted in your voice. "You told me you have me that awful patient for a reason! But you won't tell me what the reason is! You won't even take me off the case! Why?"

"Because I assigned you to the case to challenge you! To push you!" His voice bellows.

"To push me?" You let out a humorless laugh. " To push me to what?" You shout.

"To be the best doctor you can be."

"I selected you for a reason. I selected you because I saw something special in your application."

All the wind is knocked out of you. Shock and embarrassment taking your anger‘s place." Wait… you selected me?"

"Yes. It was my evaluation that got you matched here. I believed I saw someone who could be truly great," he says his voice filled with disappoinment.

"It's very rare that I am wrong, Rookie. But I'm willing to admit when I am," he paused," And I was wrong about you.”

“I was wrong about you…”, the phrase triggers something in your mind, it being played on a loop inside your head.

The words are like acid poured on you, making memories surface, memories which you buried deep inside you a long time ago.

Your father’s voice takes over your mind. “I thought you were mature, and understood the importance of what I’m talking about! Turns out, you are just a disgrace to this family. I had such high hopes for you, but I was wrong about you. Don’t ever tell anybody that you’re apart of this family, you’ll bring nothing but shame and bad luck to this family. After all, ever since you were born everything went downhill…” The words your father spoke, each feeling like a knife embedded deep inside your heart, are playing in your head again and again. You shout, not being able to take it anymore.

Ethan’s PoV:-

Seething, you look to your side seeing the young resident gasp as she takes in the shocking information you just relayed. You’re about to shout again when instead you turn around, pinching the bridge of your nose and sigh. You turn around, ready to reprimand her when you notice her pale face. She’s on her knees, hands around herself in a protective way and having a difficult time to breathe.

“Fuck!” You bound towards her calling her name but she doesn’t hear you. Her small whispers turn into agonised shouts.

“No, no, no, no! Stop! Please, no!”

You sink down to your knees and try to calm her down. “Arielle, look at me…Arielle!” She finally looks up, violet eyes wide and breath ragged.

“Listen to me. To my voice. I want you to take a deep breath, five times.” She nods and tries to take a breath.

“That’s it. In and out, five times.” Her breathing and heart rate start to normalise when you notice your pulse racing. As she collects herself, your mind puts the pieces together. You lead her to the small loveseat in your office and hand her a bottle of water.

“...you’re suffering from PTSD, aren’t you?”, you ask.

“I was. My last attack was 4 years back.”, she replies softly, the usual melodic tone of her voice completely gone without a trace.

“4 years? Then why”-

“My last attack was when I had gotten a really bad score on one of my midterms because I was sick. Luckily, my professor allowed me to retake the test though. The attacks started after the big fight with my father. Sometimes I would feel like whatever my father said was right or sometimes events would instigate it but they haven’t happened for a while.”

“So why suddenly now?”, you ask.

”I’ve just been feeling a little unsure of myself, with the fellowship competition and Naveen… All the tension probably just built up…”

You nod. “Residency can be stressful, especially the first year.” Suddenly she looks around and abruptly gets up. You realise you’ve been holding her.

“Uh, I should get going. My lunch break is almost over.”

“You should.” You walk towards your desk to pick up another one of Naveen’s tests when suddenly Arielle swivels around, almost colliding with you.

“Sorry! I didn’t know you were behind me…” She stutters. “Um…uh I just wanted to uh.. thank you. So, thank you, Dr. Ramsey.” You look down, her violet irises cauciously peering into yours. Her face slightly tilts upward as her perfectly pink lips slighly apart. You stare at her eyes, like inevitable magnets, attracting you even closer when her pager suddenly beeps, pulling both of you back into reality.

Her eyes widen as her cheeks turn a shade of pink. She says something extremely rapid which you can’t make out as she rushes out the door. You slump down in your desk chair, raking a hand through your hair.

“Damn it…”

———————————————————————————

Authors’ Note:- Hey everyone! So, you guys are going to hate us even more cause guess what?! We’re going on a two-week break! Aurora has exams and I just finished mine (well, I when I post this I would have) and we found it convenient cause it’s a cliffhanger...of a sort. But don’t worry, we will be posting Character Moodboards and Aesthetics for all the characters and pairings instead for the next two weeks so stay tuned for that!

Let us know if you want to be added to my taglist!

Love,

@drariellevalentine 😘

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suga-kookiemonster · 4 years

Note

Ok Ashley, first of all when I saw the gif you used, I know you were about to FUCK ME UPPPP. Alright bubs, buckle up this is gon be a RIDE cus phew I am the biggest hoe for ego. I’ve literally re-read the whole series MULTIPLE TIMES and it’s never NOT funny, like I still cackle at the same jokes every damn time. Anyways, yes let’s get it. I love how you’ve used common tropes like fuckboy!jk, fratboy!jk, college au, F2L, and onebed, but have completely made it your own. Like I feel like even if

you posted your work under some other pen name, I’d still recognize your style and work. You have a very specific voice? Very “YOU” BRAND of writing and that’s probably one of the HARDEST things to achieve as a writer. Mc is a delight and the way she be low key losing her cool over sleepin in the same bed as kook has me cryin cus girl I FEEL YA. “just a t-shirt advertising your university’s Segway club that you had swiped off a table for free during freshman orientation” HAHAHA mc and I are the

same fuckin people is2g cus free is for me. ALSO DUDE, “Jungkook softly, but audibly inhaled, like he was gearing up to say something of importance” BUT WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY?! I need to know, it’s for science. Also, high key endeared that he calls he “noona” cus I’m a pervy old lady and a lady could dream ok. Yes, now we get to the good stuffs, cus motherfucker would I love to wake up to kook’s morning wood wow he really be like a man buffet- he’s both cute and dashingly sexy. “attempting to

smooth your expression into one of ignorant unconsciousness as adrenaline pounded through you. Your eyes were closed, but that didn’t stop you from feeling his close proximity as he gingerly leaned over you to scope out your face” OMFG THE WAY MY BLOOD PRESSURE SKYROCKETED. Ngl been there and it’s SO uncomfortable like can he NOT feel my heart falling right outta my ass??? Kudos to mc for keeping composure (cus I wasn’t able to oops) kinda interested in what the situation woulda looked like had

he known she was awake tho?? “really? … fucking really gonna do this now?” HAHAH OMG “the way he was using the clothes he had apparently grabbed from his bag to hide his crotch from your view” the consistency in your writing is SO IMPRESSIVE like… when I read ego I see it as a move in my head bc of all these small, but important, details. They both migrated towards each other uwu that is SO CUTE, esp with kook as the big spoon wrapped all around her ughhh my heart. And the way she grabbed a

plate of food for baby boy has me SO ENDEARED, it’s so sweet the way she’s thinking of him and his favorite food. Ok, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT NAMJOON AND LISA, cus Namjesus they totally boned that night didn’t they?! The whole breakfast scene had me ROLLING “jungkookie lost his hands in a tragic paragliding accident” and “…like he was sitting there smiling at you, eyes sparkling like he was a big titty anime girl?” honestly, I gotta hand it to you, there has been no fic that makes me laugh the way

ego does. The dialogue, the pop culture references (re: pimp my ride, fear factor, “Squidward”, etc), the humor KILLS ME. You seem like the funny af friend in the group. Like “baby wine doesn’t exist because that illegal. and, frankly, immoral.” “But I would just like to state for the record that I’m the one who passed through her vagina.” “Tore it too, from what I hear” HAHA OMFG THEIR BANTER IS A+ bff shitting on each other and I’m living for it!!! The whole laser tag scene was pure gold.

The way lisa started opening up, jk’s cocky ass, mc/joon’s mess of team work, the way jungkook calls mc “babe” instead of “noona” (what’s with that anyways? He wanna be seen as manlier or something??), the return of the god of destruction, “Yeah, well you also have no upper lip” HAHAHAHA ok but I actually love jk’s sparce upper lip and buck teeth, it’s just so SWEET &ENDEARING. “You watched his tongue roll in his cheek as he considered you. It was sexy” HELL MFING YES IT’S SO SEXY!! I love this

characterization of jk- he’s very layered. He’s sweet, charming, sexy, dumb af, and annoying all at the same time which makes him feel vvv real to me. And now the smut. The fact that they’re in the same position as the other morning, but unlike last time, she’s ready to do something about it. The mouth on that boy omg reminds me of “do you kiss your mom with that mouth?” from an earlier chapter phew. I love that he’s focused on prepping her with all the grinding and fingering. While v sexy, also

shows he cares about her pleasure in that he wants her to enjoy penetration. The bit when he’s just dazed when she’s urging him to get a condom has me chuckling- is he THAT shook that it’s actually happening?? “He slid the rubber on with shaky hands.” Makes me think that he’s both nervous and excited and it’s more than just one time fucking to him. And the way she asks to ride him phew, she really be LIVIN THE DREAM that’s my ultimate fantasy let’s be real until he opens his dumb mouth “Hop on.

Please remember to fasten your seatbelt and for your safety keep all items stowed beneath the seat in front of you until after takeoff” OMFG HE’S SO ANNOYING HAHAHA “You placed another kiss on a pebbled nipple, intrigued when you heard him swallow a moan. Emboldened, you circled it with your tongue, scratched it lightly with your teeth. Jungkook whined, and the sound shot straight to your clit” FUCK THAT’S HOT. I am 10/10 a hoe for nipple play. Holy shit, and the way he pulled outta her cus he

knew he wasn’t going to make it in time for her to cum too, so he opts to eat her out first. We LOVE a man who prioritizes female pleasure!! Hnng and the way she agrees to continue fucking even after she’s already came and the way kook just GOES TO FUCKING TOWN ON THAT PUSS had my vag ROLLINGGGG damn I really feel bad for whoever is sharing a wall with them rn cus that headboard RIP my heart “I win” wtf dude his pillow talk SUCKS ASS. Just when she thinks she’s not just a game to him, he pulls

this shit. It’s probably just a dumb af joke cus we know my bby be competitive as all hell and also ain’t that smart, but damn. Not. The. Time. UGHHHH I just want to squish their faces together and be like "TALK TO EACH OTHER PLS- this is all a terrible misunderstanding" TL;DR my panties are wet, my heart is broken, and I kinda wanna knee kook in the balls. Thank you for this update!! Masterpieces are ALWAYS worth the wait!! It's bitter sweet that ego is comin to the end. Sending all my love

PHEWWWWW, THIS REVIEW!! 😭😭💕we still have one part left, so i’m not gonna confirm or deny any of your assumptions. but OMG, i’m so touched that my work left this big of an impression on you! your commentary made me smile so big 😩😩😩 truly, thank you so much for enjoying my wacky fic and my wacky characters. it really means a lot to know that people love my babies as much as i do, and that they’re actually as invested in the storyline as i am. ego was my first fic for the bts fandom, so she’s really special to me and it makes me happy that others enjoy her 🤧💕 and that you enjoy my writing style 😭😭😭pls 😭😭😭

thank you again for your sweet words. hopefully i can finish ch 8 sooner than later!

#fic: ego #lcksndkys #asks

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selkiewife · 5 years

Text

Harlots Season 3 ep 2- stray thoughts

*There are spoilers, duh

Incoherent shouting

*bangs on table* I love Nancy Birch so much. Like all she has to do is come onscreen and I’m happy.

Charlotte Wells is such a Gryffindor and I am thinking of sorting all the Harlots characters into HP houses and making moodboards for them. Please send me messages with which houses you think everyone is in. I have definite opinions already but I’m open to suggestions.

Also Charlotte Wells is a bad bitch and we stan.

Unpopular Opinion Time

Okay this might be an unpopular opinion but I am honestly LOVING this season of Harlots. That does not mean that I do not miss Violet, Amelia, Scanwell, Hunt, Limehouse NELL ( 😔 ), and Prince Rasselas like hell. Because I absolutely do. I’m still holding out hope that they will turn up just like SPOILER!!! Margaret will eventually. There were actually a few times I thought they were GOING to... like when Fredo was looking for boys and when Lydia Quigley didn’t have anywhere to go and then they didn’t. ughhh. But I am ALSO very interested in all the new characters and plot lines.

I like the Pincher brothers and the ridiculous amount of drama they’ve created and I love how it has changed the dynamic a bit and has essentially made all of these women characters BAND TOGETHER against them- like even Emily (who I love don’t get me wrong) who seems to be solidly in the Pincher camp is STILL always standing up for her fellow women- like when she berates Isaac on more than one occasion of his treatment of Margaret. I think Alfie’s portrayal of Isaac is awesome and it makes me want to know more about him. I’ve seen some people complain that the character reminds them of second season Theon but that’s not a problem for me because that’s basically when I became fascinated by Theon and what was going on inside his head so, yeah.

I like Jack Lively! A new character this week! He’s William North’s new boxing star and I think his story will also be very interesting- I loved him in Harriet’s house, always polite but serving his cutting “friendly reminders” in Latin. He can rock right out. I think he had a definite thing for Harriet and I am here for that. ALSO William North is back in town!

I LOVE the story of the molly house and Elizabeth and Fredo. I LOVE Fredo and his beginning friendship with Lucy. I also want to know way more about Elizabeth and I loved how she had that silk merchant (or I think I’ll have to rewatch to get the story there- was he more of a pirate?) just wrapped around her fingers. Also I LOVED the whole cover story about how they are selling fine suits and the word play with that scene and how so many things were going on at once with the stealing the Pinchers’ money caper.

Checking in with the regulars:

Harriet! Harriet has had such an incredible arc and she is such a survivor and I love seeing her as the bawd of her own establishment now and doing well enough that she is able to take all the Wells girls in- Not sure where her kids are but I’ve headcanoned that Amelia and Violet are babysitting them.

LYDIA QUIGLEY got out of Bedlam and it was glorious. Love the woman singing while they were running the hell out of there. God I am always taken in by the haunting singing on Harlots...

Cherry. I love her so much. Everyone must love and protect Cherry. ALSO CHERRY WAS FUCKING RHYMING. Has this show always rhymed? I need to do a rewatch soon. I’ll report back. I love that she and Nancy seem to have a real understanding and affection for each other. That warmed my heart. By the way I need all future condoms to come with Cherry’s little bows on them. That was fantastic.

Charlotte taking down Isaac with the same wording he used against her was spectacular and I really loved it. I loved that Isabella was in on it and was able to use her power in this way- and damn she looked like she was having so much fun doing it.

Shipping stuff:

Okay... THAT KISS between Charlotte and Isabella. Obviously they’ve gotten to a place where they are friends/lovers/business associates and that is fine. But I think this kiss raised the stakes in their relationship. It seemed to come from a place of pure romantic love or at least romantic longing. Especially when you consider when it happens- which is right after Charlotte is talking about how being “in love” is beyond their wildest dreams. Isabella had a moment there when Charlotte was saying that her daughter was rich beyond all their dreams when I think she realized how much she loves Charlotte. And I think that kiss was Isabella’s answer to Charlotte’s assertion that love was beyond them. Charlotte is a restless soul who craves freedom and love- she’s cleaver and got great survival instincts but I think at her core, she wants love and happiness and freedom. She was so wistful when she was describing how they should be happy for Sophia, who is free to love who she wants. It was like she truly believed that love was beyond someone like her. And I think Isabella was basically saying “no girl, let me show you how not beyond you that kind of love is,” when she kissed her.

I also began shipping Nancy and Isabella this episode which surprises absolutely no one. What would their ship name be? Lady Dom? Fitzbirch? Nancy seems so attuned to Isabella and it would be WILD to see these two women together. This may be time to mention to people who have come to my blog for Harlots and don’t know me from my GOT stuff- I am a poly shipper, multi shipper, ship and let ship, will not argue about ships blog!

Which brings me to, Isaac and Charlotte. So this is definitely a toxic ship but I’m here for it. Why? I love both of the actors and they DO have chemistry. I don’t care what anyone says. Alfie and Jessica are the type of actors who have chemistry with anyone honestly. They could both individually have chemistry with a bowl of soup (see what I did there theonsas?) so don’t come at me with “they have no chemistry.” I realize that it’s a completely unhealthy train wreck and I won’t defend it, but like, I can’t help that I enjoy watching it- so I’ll just have to ask y’all to have pity on my useless bisexual heart.

Questions:

Why did Isaac think that Charlotte wanted to sleep with him after BURNING HER HOUSE DOWN? Like is he that stupidly arrogant about her wanting him? I guess so. Personally, my paranoia just wouldn’t gel with that. I would be sure she’d be doing it to trick me... Then again, I guess I can’t blame him. If Charlotte Wells acted like she wanted to sleep with me I would totally let her do it even if I thought she was only doing it to steal my money...

I think that we could still possibly see Amelia and Violet. Do you think I am being delusional? I’m trying to think about past seasons of Harlots and if it took awhile to catch up with certain characters- I think Rasselas didn’t show up until half way through last season right? Or was it the very end?

#harlots #harlots hulu #charlotte wells #lady isabella fitzwilliam #nancy birch #isaac pincher #fredo harvey #elizabeth harvey #cherry dorrington #harriet lennox #jack lively #harlots spoilers #harlots hulu spoilers #harlots reaction #long post

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ��

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ��

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope. Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

13 notes · View notes

slytherinfinity · 5 years

Text

ENDGAME SPOILERS!!

Okay I saw Endgame last night and I need to vent... AHHHHHH!!! haha I have so many mixed emotions and I don’t even know. Also I typed this on mobile so sorry for any typos.

So I first saw Iron Man when I was 11, and it was so cool. I grew up watching all of these movies. At first, Cap was my favorite bc he was ~cute~ and I was a young teen girl and so were all my friends. I also loved Loki for this reason haha. Then I saw Iron Man 3 and LOVED IT. I bought it on DVD as soon as it came out. Tony Stark was amazing, but also he dealt with anxiety and panic attacks? His and Pepper’s relationship was everything as well, and also his and Happy’s and Rhodey’s friendships. Tony felt real and human and relatable, and it was cool he was able to overcome so much even with all of his trauma. In AOU he just wanted to protect his team, and no one truly listened to or respected him or tried to understand him, and he ended up with more trauma and guilt. I just wanted him to have a happy ending. Then he met Peter and it brought me hope, after all the Civil War crap. Infinity War was crushing but not completely because I knew another movie was coming out, so there was still some hope. But then Endgame. Honestly... I’m still processing, but I don’t think I’m happy with it. And for more reasons than just Tony, though I’ll talk about that first. His storyline just seemed... blah. He gets back, gets to yell at Steve, and then goes and lives in seclusion with Pepper and has a kid. Yet you know that even with that life he’s still depressed and guilt-ridden. It’s how Pepper knows he won’t stop. So he does his best to help, time travels or whatever (honestly that whole part is still kinda confusing to me- it created alternate timelines, but what are the implications of that- and also for the rest of the MCU??) and then Tony comes back and it looks like they’ve succeeded. I was expecting him to notice something off about Nebula, tbh. But anyway, final battle, and we all know what happens. He makes the sacrifice play. He dies. Pepper says it’s okay, but I just can’t agree. He already made the sacrifice play in the first movie. I think it should have been Steve or someone else in this one to do it. If all Tony’s pain and trauma has been building to this- I just feel empty inside. It’s not a satisfying end. Sure, he saved the universe, but I feel like Strange literally could have like left a message saying don’t send Nebula to the past and all of that would have been avoided. It felt so pointless. They’d already won. Tony also only got to reunite with Peter for like 30 mins, which is lame, and will bring a whole lot more trauma to him. He didn’t even get to see Morgan again. Ughhh I’m just annoyed. And then Steve?? He just goes to live in the past?? The whole movie he’s been saying he doesn’t move on, and then he literally never does, he never grows from there. He doesn’t really develop at all. It’s true- he never truly moved on from the past, and so that means... he’ll just go live there??? I think a better move would be to have him grow to accept his life and try to be happy and actually move on. Or, like I said earlier, he could have realized he can’t move on and made that sacrifice play himself in order to allow others to live and move on. I think that would have been a more satisfying arc to his story. And it would show the love he actually has for Tony- to allow Tony to live with his family and show that he heard and understood what Tony said at the beginning of the movie. (Also, they never had a real conversation where they made up. It was like they kind had that “do you trust me” moment but Steve never truly apologized and I feel like we got jipped out of a good heartfelt moment between those two.) Also- the Natasha sacrifice was sad, but I’m not totally surprised by it. It feels like a very her thing to do, to save her family and Clint’s. But then after everyone got mad and had a quick moment of silence, it was kind of forgotten?? Like they could have even had a memorial or small tribute at Ton’s funeral or elsewhere but like put something in?? It feels like she was just kind of brushed aside. (Also- I didn’t like BruceNat at first but grew to be okay with it, but then it never became anything? Bruce made himself into Professor Hulk and there was no real closure or conversation between him and Natasha? So like... what. was. the. point???) Again, everything with her just wasn’t that satisfying, but it’s something I may grow to view differently. I did enjoy Clint’s arc and I actually think they did a great job with him. Probably the strongest arc of the movie, actually. The way they handled Thor kind of annoyed me. I think it’s perfectly understandable that he would end up like that. He’s lost his family and most of his kingdom, and he feels responsible. I don’t have a problem with that. I have a problem with how the movie and the characters responded to that. Judgmental looks and jokes... like I’ll be honest, I did chuckle at Rhodey’s Cheez Whiz joke, but now I regret that. Like being fat is funny, haha look at Thor, he’s out of shape! Uhh yeah he’s depressed! And Rhodey should know better, being friends with Tony, he should know how to handle anxiety and depression. Nobody was really trying to help or even talk to Thor much, they really just wanted him to help them. Like he was clearly struggling, and yet that was used as a joke... it makes me sad. And also Thor never even looked back at Loki? The convo with his mom was nice though. But that reminds me? Was Loki’s infinity war death actually real then? Bc ugh. I’d be more willing to accept him being permanently dead if it wasn’t in such a lame way. Daggers, seriously?? Loki has freakin magic, and he’s smart!! He could have duplicated himself or something, and that type of lame death is so unsatisfying. Also. Captain. Freaking. Marvel. I went to the movie in a Captain Marvel T-Shirt, hers is one of the first actual comics I read, and I loved her movie. I was soooo excited to see her in this movie and become part of the team and to have some really fun banter with everyone. But then she just... disappears for basically the whole movie and hardly speaks at all (thinking about it- I think all the female characters speaking overall was wayyy low compared to mens which is sad) and she blows up the big ship at the end and that’s basically it. She didn’t really join the team, and she could have been so helpful! You’re telling me they didn’t make a way to communicate with her and they didn’t want to include her in their time travel adventures?? She could have had a funny interaction with Nick in 2012, or stopped Nebula from getting taken in 2014, or helped out more overall, idk. But she should have been a bigger part of the team. They hyped her up so much when she was hardly in the movie at all, which was extremely disappointing. Like I feel so cheated about this. This is something I’ll probably be bitter about for a while tbh... ugh she’s a queen and deserves so much more haha. Also Okoye and Wong would have been useful assets for the time travel and yet they were hardly in the movie at all? So many underutilized characters smh.... (Also I know this would be impossible and the point of the movie is for the main Marvel characters but you’re telling me that in 5 years, there was no random like French or Chinese or any other country’s scientist that could have developed time travel or another method of reversing the snap? Or someone from one of the bazillion planets out there? Like there have to have been other smart people/aliens who went all Liam Neeson after the snap and were out for revenge and solutions and they could have come up with something in those five years. But again, I know that wouldn’t work for the movie...) I just feel that a conclusion to the first real era and characters of Marvel should be more satisfying. But that’s just me, I know there are people who are plenty happy with it, and I think that’s valid. These are just my thoughts. Also, that was a long rant but I don’t want to be completely negative. Here’s some things I did enjoy. -Clint’s arc. Again, I felt it was really strong and emotional and hit all the right notes. They did a good job with him and I’m glad he got to go back to his family. -Nebula. She’s grown so much y’all. I do wish she got the final blow on Thanos, and that she clicked the button to go to the present faster so Thanos couldn’t come after them, but other than that I thought her storyline was great. She’s awesome. -That moment with all the female characters after Peter got hurt. I cheered. Marvel has so many amazing women and it was great to see them all together. I kinda wish they were given more lines and screen time though but this moment was super cool. -Morgan was adorable and I love her. -Pepper’s understanding of Tony was also great. She knew he needed to do something if he could, especially for Peter, she’s grown so much and she loves her mans I love her. -Almost the whole 2012 time travel thing was great. Some good humor and nostalgia, it was fun, I really liked it. The Loki alternate timeline would be cool to explore and I wonder if that’s what the show will be about. -Wanda had a great moment against Thanos. -Okay, while I do think that whole final battle was ultimately pointless and could have easily been avoided, the moment when T’Challa and the Guardians and everyone came in through the portals was amazingly epic and beautiful and powerful. The audience cheered and I did too. It was a cool scene. -Tony and Nebula in the ship at the beginning was great. -If Steve isn’t gonna be Cap anymore, Sam deserves it and I’m glad they went with him. -The Ancient One, Frigga, and other’s cameos were pretty cool. I liked those moments. -Tony’s convo with Howard was great. I like that he got a little bit of closure with his dad. There’s probably more but I’ve written a lot so I need to be done haha. Let me know your thoughts!! :)

#avengers endgame #endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endame spoilers #spoilers #tony stark #captain america #Captain Marvel #thor #natasha romanoff #clint barton #I really just needed to vent #sorry y'all #so many emotions #I don't even really know how I feel #ughhhh #mostly just sad I think

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btshogwartsauheadcanons · 6 years

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CHARACTER PROFILES: KIM TAEHYUNG

Kim Taehyung

House Ravenclaw

Wand: Cypress Wood - Unicorn Hair - 13 3/4

Patronus: Mongrel Dog

Cypress

Cypress wands are associated with nobility. The great medieval wandmaker, Geraint Ollivander, wrote that he was always honoured to match a cypress wand, for he knew he was meeting a witch or wizard who would die a heroic death. Fortunately, in these less blood-thirsty times, the possessors of cypress wands are rarely called upon to lay down their lives, though doubtless many of them would do so if required. Wands of cypress find their soul mates among the brave, the bold and the self-sacrificing: those who are unafraid to confront the shadows in their own and others’ natures.

Unicorn

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard. Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.

Headcanons:

WOOOO TAEHYUNG'S TURN

He's my bias wrecker

I'm so ready

First and foremost I really really feel like he's a ravenclaw because ravenclaws don't strictly honor the intelligent or the geniuses but the eccentric-thinkers and curious learners as well which i think taehyung fits perfectly

Like 90% of the time nobody knows what goes on in his head

He'll say something stupid or weird once but then something really smart and sensible 5 seconds later

The sorting hat actually had a really hard time sorting him because taehyung is really just a ball of everything

But he loves being in ravenclaw because their common room is in a tower and he can stargaze all he wants

I like to think of him as that one oddball ravenclaw who isn't like all the other ravenclaws who would rather search for answers in books

Taehyung is more of the hands-on explorer type of guy

Most people wonder why he's in ravenclaw in the first place when he resembles more of a gryffindor but taehyung strongly believes that bravery means pursuing knowledge as well

His favorite subject is Care of Magical Creatures

Hagrid is his bff

Omg can you imagine

Hagrid showing everyone the Blast-Ended Skrewt and all the other students are backig away in terror while Taehyung just runs up to one like "Hey! Can I pet one!!!???"

He names one of the skrewts "sparky"

It makes hagrid's giant heart feel hella soft

Rubeus Hagrid is an amazing character who deserves to be loved and appreciated-

Taehyung becomes assistant groundskeeper and helps Hagrid take care of all his magical creatures

He idolizes Newt Scamander

Sometimes you'll find him around the castle grounds or at the lake looking for kappas

He's always outdoors and covered in dirt or with his pant legs and cloak wet

He probs looks adorable like that omg my heart hurts just thinking about it

Taehyung is also really good at Transfiguration and he loves the idea of being able to turn one thing into another thing

Most of the time though he'll transfigure one thing into another thing entirely though

Like professor mcgonagall will be asking them to transfigure an inkwell into a goblet and taehyung will turn his into a fricking eagle or something

"Am i doing it right professor??"

And mcgonagall is speechless because yeah he didn’t turn it into a goblet but dang how the fuck did this kid turn it into an eagle????

Eventually mcgonagall helps taehyung control his magic a bit more until he's practically the best transfiguration student in his year

Professor also has a soft spot for taehyung and lowkey wishes he was in gryffindor instead

All the professors have a soft spot for taehyung even professor snape

But taehyung is HORRIBLE at potions class

He's set his own cauldron on fire a million times

He really tries his best though

But he's so clumsy he'll knock ingredients around everywhere and professor snape is just watching him with a stream of gordon ramsay insults all ready to use ("what are you? an idiot sandwich")

But then he sees taehyung's proud smile at making a semi-decent potion even though most of his robes and hair are singed off and there are burns on his fingers and (omg is his skin turning blue?????) Snape just sighs and just lets him barely pass with a grade of P

Taehyung is also a half-blood so he was pretty much raised with the best of both worlds but there's no denying he loves the magical world more

During summer breaks you'll see him looking for bowtruckles in the forest near his grandparents' farm

He takes really good care of what he catches too. Sometimes he'll even bring home a wounded creature to nurse it back to health

His room is a zoo basically

At the same time Taehyung misses his family and a bit of the muggle world when he leaves for hogwarts

I have a feeling his owl is the most tired out of all the owls in school because taehyung writes to his family so much and his family loves sending him gifts

Fuck this makes me feel hella soft i need to throw up

Tae also really misses playing video games

Shit omg a headcanon where he and jungkook try to find a way to play video games somehow while they're in hogwarts

Remind me to do that later

He's not into quidditch so much unlike his bffs jimin and jungkook

But he is an AWESOME cheerleader

He'll cheer his friends even when they are on opposing teams

He becomes the next Quidditch commentator later on

Most of the time he just comments on how amazing his friends are though

"Wowww look at Hoseok looking dynamite as usual"

"Aaaand there goes our Golden Seeker Jungkookie. Ladies, and gentlemen, he's single by the way"

Lol it lowkey annoys jungkook because he'll be greeted with more fangirls when the game is over

Taehyung is also an expert at pulling pranks

He can get anyone in on his pranks as well

He uses it as a weapon too to get back at people who mess with his friends or his fave professors

He once got jungkook to help him sprinkle itching powder on the beds of some slytherins who were rude to Hagrid in class

Nobody messes with taehyung’s fam

Did i mention he's also THE fashion icon in hogwarts???

He brings fashion magazines with him in his trunk when he goes to school

And after he gets really good at Transfiguration he can change his hogwarts robes into the latest muggle fashion

Taehyung loves giving fashion advice to his friends and pretty much anyone who asks him

He also does it to boost their self-confidence

Omg imagine people with body-image issues coming up to taehyung and asking him to help them look beautiful

And he gives them fashion advice and everything but he always reminds them that clothes only enhance whats there and that they dont need to change a thing about their physical appearance if they dont want to and they're already beautiful as they are

Imagine taehyung giving hagrid the most beautiful winter coat ever that looks like it was made of dragon scales and the dark blue and black colors remind him of Norbert and hagrid ends up wearing it all the time

He's so proud of what his student gave him and also because hagrid finds it so hard to find nice clothes in his size

Fuck this makes me so soft and taehyung makes me so soft ughhh

Love yourself tho guys

#character profiles #taehyung #ravenclaw!taehyung #headcanons #ravenclaw #Hogwarts au #bts Hogwarts au #bts headcanons #bts scenarios

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itsmecessy · 3 years

Text

Having You Near Me

Most people say that I shouldn't care much on looking for someone to be with given my young age. But I couldn’t just shrug the thought when most girls in my age are already in a relationship.

It hurts and made me feel so frustrated because every time that I hang up with my squad, my role is just a “third-wheel” and I’m so tired for that role. All of them are holding hands while walking with their boyfriend or girlfriend and as usual I look like their maid following them anywhere they want to go.

By the way, I’m Queencess Quinn Dela Torre, an 18 years old girl living in Olongapo City and currently Grade 12 HUMSS student at Maxwell Prime University . When I was a child I’m just a simple girl staying just on my room watching cartoons and playing indoor games at home, in short I am an “introvert girl when I was a little”. As time passes by, everything has changed about me when I meet my bestfriend Hailey, Hailey Chantal Buenavetura. AsI witnessed her long time ago, I describe her as DORA because she is an explorer girl. She loves exploring something that is new in the present nor traveling.

Well, Everyone knows me as a simple and a minimalist girl before but for some reason, because of I learned to explore and enjoy trends in today’s generation. In this time of pandemic we need to be quarantined not because we are infected but just for our safety. Even though I used to be alone before, I still feel or experience boredom.

For the reason that I was bored, I contact my bff for me to surpass those problems because its killing me.

“bebs!! I’m bored. I don’t know what to do! I don’t play games thooooo.”

“besh…. explore, explore, explore!” Hailey said.

“Ughhh there you go again dora! HAKHAKAHKA.”

She smirked and said “STOP!! Grrrrr!”

“HAKAHKAHKA, youre so cute everytime you act like that bebs! Can you just do it one more time?”

“stop it its not funny!” she said.

“no more bully… but bebs!! help!! I’m bored!”

“okay..fine! I use yugo whenever I’m bored”

“huh? what’s that?”

“besh, it is an app wherein you can make friends with others.”hailey said while eating.

“but.. how?”

“its like a dating but not usually like that. You can swipe left and right too if you want to add someone also you can search if ever you have someone you know that is also using that app. The difference of of the two is you do live stream and watch with your friends there and meet new people in live..uhggg its hard to explain.” hailey said while discussing it hard.

“owwwww.. thats cool… I’ll try it later!”

“just explore the app and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

“thank you bebs!! you’re the best!!! luvyah dora!”

“stop calling me dora!!! hays”she smirked again and said “luvyah too.” with disappointment on her face.

“HAAKAHKAHKHA!! okay fine! Byeeee. Mwuahh”

“bye besh!”

At first, I didn’t enjoy the app because I’m not used to it. I’m just a simple girl and if you try to look my phone, the only application that you can see are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Youtube. Yes, I’ve changed and not the girl tat they know before but duh, yubo is not my type. I don’t do live stream and I don’t feel talking to someone I didn’t know.

After a month, I gave yugo a second chance. I patiently explore what is the beauty of that app. I started to watch live streams and unexpectedly enjoy watching those streamers who are enjoying the bond they have. One night, I open up my yugo and started live hopping again to watch different streamers and as time passes I received invitation to stream with them but for some reason, I’m not that confident because I’m shy so I declined. After a week, I still do my yugo routine but this time I accept invitations already and I do live stream already and have friend with everyone.Yugo app helps me to fill up myself whenever I’m bored for so many months.

There was I time, my junior highshool classmate shakira marie called me and had some talks about life or something. Honestly, that was the beginning of our friendship and we started to talk and have fun during quarantine. Since its been a month since I’m using yugo, I decided to take a rest from using it and continue having fun with kira.

“kira!”

“long time no talk!” kira said

“how are you? I missed you!”

“well, I’m good and still pretty same as you and I missed you too gurl!”

“HAKHAKHAAHK”

“do you know yugo?.” kira asked.

“yes, I’am!. I have yugo account too!”

“what a coincidence!” kira said with excitement.

“let do live stream sometimes!”

“sure why not!”kira answered.

After knowing that kira knows about yugo, we have been live streaming for almost five months, we already had a lot of friend in yugo and enjoys streaming every night. For five months, we never missed one day of streaming, everyday and every night we do yugo “routine” sounds fun right?. We’re tripping and having fun whenever someone came and stream with us (sometimes we flirt).

One day, when kira and I are waiting for our online class while we were streaming, someone raised his hand wanted to live stream with us and his name is King Glean Javier he’s from Infanta, Quezon Provice same as me Grade 12 student taking STEM curriculum. Kira and I had fun with him but for awhile, kira felt so hungry and left us streaming. While king and I are streaming alone and no one is watching, king open up and started to talk about his past.

“cess, have you been in a relationship?” king asked.

“why’d you ask?”

“how long have you been in a relationship?” he asked again

“okay okay… yes I’ve been in a relationship but it last just for 2 months I think?”

“why did you guys broke up?”

“actually my ex and I have never been I a fight, I just let him do what ever he wanted to do but I think did something wrong in that part because I just let him do everything he wants?”

“but by do you think you’re wrong?”

“ I’m wrong in the way that I “tolerate” his vices because I let him do what ever he wants to do to the point that I let him forget that he has a girlfriend waiting for his chats. I’ve been too considerate for him even though he doesn't make time for me anymore because I want him to be happy. To be honest, I don’t want him to let him go but I think there’s something wrong”

“awww, he’s so lucky but he didn’t prioritize you and keep you with love, I understand what your point is. I hope you’re okay now.” king said.

“how about you? I think you had something you want to say about your past for some reason.”

“actually I’m broken, I’ve been in a relationship in two years and five months.” he said

“aww! That’s long, but why does it ends?”

During this quarantine, were not allowed to roam outside since we are just a minor. One time I chatted her that I am supposed to go on their but suddenly she no, and she is so sorry because she doesn’t love him anymore and she’s with her new man. Even though she refused, I still go to their place and yah we talked to each other and she said sorry to me. But all I can is just to accept and let her go even if it hurts.” king said with mixed emotions.

“aww, that hurts but we just did our part.”

“yess! Kira is already here!!” king shouted.

When kira is already in, after fifteen minutes we decided to end up our live stream because king had to go and prepare for hin onlice class at one o'clock on the after noon and kira and I doesn’t have class that time. Around one thirty pm while I am scrolling at my social medias account, I saw King Glean sent me a friend request and that was an expected things to me and because I know him already, I accepted his request and I unexpectedly received wave message from him and yes, I waved back to him and started a conversation that day.

King told me that he didn’t expect me to accept his request since we just meet online which is on yugo and I told him that “why would I do that if I know you?” also he keeps telling that he is very comfortable with me and just like that and I am fun to be with and that day that we chatted to each other, that was the beginning for to know each other well. As time passes by, we had a lot of talks about our past and he send some picture like family pictures, we do random video calls, updates and were having fun a lot of time.

King made me feel excited every time that he is sending me a message and calling me every-time, I don’t know what to do but to stop what I am thinking for because there was a time that our topic is about entering again in a relationship again. One day he asked if ever that some will come into my life again, am I ready to be in a relationship again? And I told him yes but I asked that question back to him but hi didn’t answer. Also there was a time that he asked me if he’s attractive and I said “yes, you’re attractive the you are.” also the thing that I felt so excited because of him and he reminded me that he was not simping and he was just showy and clingy person. For some reason, king asked me like if am I “ghoster or not” because some of the other girls did that stupid things to him before and made him felt so bad.

“queen, I’m not saying this to you just to disappoint you or hurt you haaa, I was just thinking of you ghosting me someday.”

“uhmmm, its okay that you asked something like that to. But I must to you that majority of those guys or friends who came into my life are the first people who got tired off, not me. I don’t usually have an intentions of doing that stupid thing to someone because I know the feeling of being left behind or ghosted. So why would I do those event to people who are welcome to me but unfortunately, not welcome to them?” I answered.

“well, I got your point but this time, I want you to know that I will not let you feel what you felt from those people did that stupid case to you, I promise.”

“ I wanted them to stay but they’re looking for better person that I am. But you know its not our lost and we deserve better.” I added.

“yes we are.” he answered

“ you if I will be given a chance to tell something to those people who left you, I will tell the that “you lost a potential guy” jakahkhaka, bumble be like!

“how crazy lil silly you are!” he said

“king, lets just put in our mind that we did our part, they just let their stupidity dominant than being intelligent when it comes from hitting up!” I said.

“they need seminar from us!” his naughty answer.

After a week of communication, king suddenly didn’t send good morning because I’ve never missed receiving good-morning message for him and it made me feel sad. Eleven o’clock in the morning kira and I decided to stream and had talk about ourselves. While streaming I saw king watching our live and I started to share something about me while he still watching us.

“kira you know what, I’m clingy and approachable in person.”

“of course I know that” kira’s answer.

“but online, I’m not. I want someone will hit me up not me. I just want the first way of hitting up with someone in an opposite gender. In our culture before, the girls are sitting in pretty white the guys are the one who do the first move” I said.

Kira answered back, “sisz, at this point in time, we had an different world!, this, the girls are the one who’s doing the first move or the one who’s hitting up first not the guys anymore…. but not all the but most of the time hkahkahah”

“well, I’m just telling my side thooo, that’s my stupid mindset!”

“then try hitting up first so you will no gonna bored sisz!” kira said.

After that conversation with kira, king left and we just continue our talk. After thirty minutes that he had left, king is back and I said hi to him and he replied, “hello my baby”. after that reply, I felt so fluttered and that’s why I don’t know what to say but to laugh. That day I’m still curious why he’s not messaging me and I’m not feeling good that day that is why I post a status at my social media saying “aww, no chat and no good morning for today :(“.

As I woke up the next day, I felt so happy because he already messaged me and unexpectedly confront about my status.

“Good-morning baby, char” king’s message.

“aww, good-morning!” while I felt so fluttered.

“what was that drama?” he asked

“what?”

King sent the screenshot of my status.

“ahhhhh, don’t mind it thoooo. HAHKAHKA”

“wait for awhile, my mom calls me to eat and you too” king asked.

“okie, eat well”

While king is eating, there’s a lot of thing out of my mind. I’m curious about his moves. He’s too sweet all of a sudden.

“hello my baby! Char” he said

“too fast ha.. hkahka”

“too fast?” he asked

“too fast to eat…” I answered.

“ahy, I had the wrong idea.. hakhka”

“huh? Hkahka”

At that point, I already knew about what is in his mind. I started to doubt and over-think what will happen next. I had this feelings that I can’t really even explain why am I too nervous or paranoid about something. There was a time that, because of this bad feelings, I always think about something that made my mind boast.

I had a lots of “what ifs” in my mind, “what if this guy left me?”, “what if he likes me too but he’s hesitating to tell or open up with me?”, “what if he still love his first love?”, “what if his first came back and left me behind?” ,“ what if we were not having a one sided love?”. but as time passes by, all those “what ifs” that I was scared off are suddenly happened on its time. Not in a negative way but positive and fluttering.

King said, “what is this?”, “what are this convos of us?”

“hala (omg)” I said as I felt my heart aching because of beating so fast.

“ I’m just asking, we had a lot of random video calls, right?, I always update you about me and you almost know my routine everyday, my errands, even my movements hkaha joke, etc.” he said.

“uhmmmmm.” speechless me.

“ for you what are these?” he asked.

“uhmmm, for me, this was just a typical convos just what like the others doing.” I know you and I know your side thooo.” I answered.

“but, what do you think you know about me?” he asked

“well, as far as I know, you don’t have plans to flirt since you’re not yet healed from you past right? You told me that you’re just showing who you are truly, right?” I said.

“ let’s say that “I’m not yet totally healed from the past”, but for me, I’m okay now. I already accepted the fact that we are not together anymore and we already had clear and good closure.” he said. “ I’m just holding back to open up with you before but since we were just seeing or meeting each other online.” he added.

“then, what do you mean by that feelings?” I answered. “how cute you are hkakhaa”

“I LIKE YOU, but the thing is I don’t think that fell the same way as me. Also were long distanced to each other” king said.

“ wait, is this a prank?” I asked

“why am I pranking you in this serious conversation?” king said.

All this time, I told king that, “I thought that it was all one sided”. For the reason that I don’t want hoping for someone and holding on to someone that will never last, I always taught myself not to be stupid in this kind of situations. Before this time came, I forced myself not to fall for him even though he shows motives about having feelings for me. I forces myself to put in mind that “two broken people will never make whole”. I forced myself not to be “fragile as glass” wherein someone will make me fall and no one will catch me and became just like a broken glass. I’m tired, tired of being left behind or ghosted, and begins from the start just like a cycle of pain, but suddenly my world stopped and I look like a dog, a dog that making face like I did something stupid, sitting on the corner of my room, thinking about ,“should I give a chance for us to flirt and build love for each other or not?”

Even though I over-think about him, I always think if how could I I know the answers about certain things that made think badly if I would not give it a try?. Everything has its different outcomes, they may be negative or positive. So what if I give it a try and in result, it will give happiness?

I said to king, “i understand you concern for me and you, yes were long distanced to each other, but don’t be too sad for it.”

“ I know that this is fast, but what if the time comes and you’ll the true colors of me? Would you still like me or not?” he said. “I know this isn’t formal, but I like you”. with sad emoji. “and I thingk you’re holding back”. he added.

“ I want you to know that I’ am not holding back. Honestly, I thought everything was just a one sided “feelings”. also, one of my weaknesses is attachment and I think I am attached from you.” I said.

“ therefore, that explains the rant on you facebook status?” he asked.

“yes, because I’m used to it already. Every I have good-mornings from you but suddenly, in just one changes it feels so bat for me.” I answered with sad emoji.

“ I just did that because I want to know if you will still chat when I an not messaging you, if you will look for me when I’m not around or online, but as u said in live with kasi, you’re not hitting up yourself and what you want is someone will hit you up on chat.” he said.”

“ but I messaged you that time!” I said while laughing.

After this, king told me not to tell kira about us, and as I respect his decision, i promised him that I will not tell kira about us for him. And continue our conversation about the fb post.

When king didn’t chat that time, I wasn’t supposing to chat him at night because I don’t know how to start, I don’t have any topics to start with but some of my friend pranked about lazada something. So that was the topic I brought up with him.

Although, I had this negatinve mindset in my head, i cant stop thinking about him. King is very different from all those guys that I have met online. He is very genuine, respectful, and an ideal guy for me. He respect me the way he respect his parents as I’ve seen in every video call we had and no words can explain how go he is. I like him just the way he is.

So as we continue our conversation that day, king told that he was just holding back before but fuck I was too far from him and he cant go here for me.

“ don’t that I was just holding back before because you’re too far from me and I cant go there for you?” he said

I said, “don’t you thing that I was just “nagpaparinig” or telling those things for a purpose? But it was true..”

“I can't be with you and i cant see yo, I can't hug you, I can't smell you and it’s fucking frustrating.” he sadly reply.

“aww, too cute…hmmm”, “ don’t message me on my second account ha, I want you here in my main.” I said.

“well, why do you need second account huh?” he asked?

“ that was long time ago, don’t be too curious.”

King suddenly became so funny and said, “Im just clingy not horny, HAHAHAHAHA.”

I replied, “well, that’s good, I’m scared from those who are like that… hkahka”

I thought when king wasn’t chatting me, that was the end of us but its not. He told that whenever he was not messaging me, he is busy doing something. After telling me about that, we have talked about how long is the traveling hour from here in longapo to infanta and it was too long. As I estimate the hours on how long the travel from olongapo to manila, it was two to three hours away and from infanta to manila, it was three to five hours. Therefore the estimated time from infanta to olongapo, it was too tiring to travel because it will be six to eight hours of traveling.

Within the day of our conversation, as I said before, king is always flooding me with his pictures. I already have his family pictures, pictures with his classmates and friends, his pictures of a beautiful view when he was resting after long ride of biking, also from being toddler to present. And I was so fluttered about it because the reason why he send his pictures is for me to avoid feeling lonely when I’m alone.

“i’ll send you my pictures ha, I just wanted you not to feel bad or lonely when you’re alone.”

“ awww, you’re too cute and sweet..” I replied.

“well, I’m cute when I was a child but what happened now?”he ranted.

“you’re still cute until now, you’re cute when you smile, that’s why I felt so fluttered whenever I see your smile..” I said.

“so you like my smile, you’re turned on whenever I smiled?”

“yes? Hkahaka” I said.

“ can I say I love you?” he asked

“of course! Why not?” I answered.

“ I love you my queen” he said with emojis showing love

“ I love you too my king” I replied when feeling so fluttered.

After a month of getting to know each other well, one of the thing that I have been flattered about him is that, he asked me all of a sudden about “what is my favourite song is?”. And I told him my favourite song was “having you near me”. When I told him about that, after a minute of time, he called me and I was shocked because as I answered his call, my favourite song is playing on his laptop. And as we were video calling for a month already, he still playing it and lip syncing it for me.

So for a month of knowing each other, king decided to tell kira about us. And we planned to tell her in live so there’s a lot of fun that will be hold on.

“babe, lets do live at yugo and tell kira about us.” king said.

“sure, no problem but how?” I asked.

“we’ll let think, since sometimes her brain-cells are slow, hkahkaha.” he replied.

“you’re too harsh babe! Ahakha.” I replied.

“let’s go then..” he said.

When we were live streaming with kira, we were just acting like normal. We acted normal until the time comes for us to do what we planned awhile ago. During our stream, I told kira that I have something to tell her but there was a viewer who wants to stream with us and she send an invitation for it and suddenly didn’t hear and asked me what did I said.

“hi sisz!!!” kira said.

“hello, king ask if what time are we going to stream and I told him that “right now” I said to kira.

“hhkahak, hey king is here now!” kira shouted.

“come up here king!” I said.

“hello guys!, wazzup? ” king said.

“hello!” kira and I said.

“kira, queen had something to tell you.” king said.

“whatttt!????” I shouted.

“wait, someone wants to stream with us, let me invite her.” kira said.

King and I continue to talk like at the same time that’s why its too loud to here.

“hey, what are you guys up to?” kira asked.

“nothing thooo, hkahkahka” I answered.

There was a viewer named “love” and everyone said “sana all love”

“sana all love” I said.

“ I love you babe!” king said

“ luhhh!, are you guys flirting?” kira said!

“ uhmmmm, yes?” I answered.

“ now, you knew it already! So we don’t have to think that much about us when it comes to you.. hkahka” king said.

When kira already knew about us, kira started to asked non stop about us, he aske so many things like how we started to open up to each other and king was the only one who’s answering all those question from kira since he was just the that kira was asking for.

“omg, king what’s poppin! Char”. kira asked.

“hkhahka,” king laughed.

“so, you like her?” asked kira.

“yes, I like her and I love her” king answered genuinely.

“sana all!” she shouted. “ but how and why?” kira asked.

“ I like and love her just the way she and no words can explain how I feel for her” king answered.

“stop asking, but the only thing that we can say is were both mutual, we like and love each other, hkahkah” I said.

“okay, fine! Sana all!” kira said.

“hey king! I just want to remind you ha, don’t make my bb gurl hurt ha or else you’ll be dead from me.” kira’s threat.

“ of course no!, I know the feelings of being hurt and why would I do those thing to my queen. She deserve to be loved not to be hurt” king answered.

“so, if you guys needs help, I’m always here for the two of you! I luh yuh” kira’s advice.

After our stream, king and I talked in facebook chat about the reaction of kira when we already told her about us. We were surprised about her reaction, she shouted and her eyes widened and she flustered about us.

On the next day, since king told me that they will be having a long ride from five to nine am, I waited for so long for him and flooded him a lot of messages until they came back home and called me even he’s not yet changed. I told him to rest but he resist because he wants me to see and to talk with.

Since we were running out of topics, I opened up someone who wont stop hitting me up, he’s too cringy and he doesn’t stop calling me baby, love, babe or something and he’s getting into my nerves every time he’s asking me for time even though I’m not that interested to him. Upon knowing all my rants about that guy, king decided to confront him and ask him to keep distance from me. while confronting him, the guy replied a lot of things that not makes sense as we were screen-sharing messenger. He opened a lot of thing like I had a bumble account and king doesn't even care about it because I didn’t use it anymore. After confronting the guy, we hang up our call so we can do thing that we need to do like doing requirements and online class.

A week after, I visited my yugo. Upon visiting, I saw jess “a gay” streaming with king. King saw me and said hi to me but jess is simpig with him without knowing that king and I had something together. Jess continue flirting while king is resisting from him. I had a lot of trust for him so I don’t get jealous about them. King invites me on their stream and pushing jess to king as making fun and enjoy with them at the same time until king has to leave the stream for the reason that he needs to attend his online class at that day.

Since king left the stream, jess and I continue to have fun. We did a lot of chika about something. He told me that he likes king but king said he had someone for a month or two months I think.

“is it true jess? You like him?” I asked.

“uhmm, yess hkahkaha” jess answered with feeling shy.

“hakhkahakha” speechless me.

“ can you help me?” he asked.

“uhm, hkhaha sure?” I replied.

While streaming with jess, I messaged king since he’s live hopping that time and told him about what jess said during our conversation but he initiate first. But eventually after a minute of time jess and I ended our live.

“babe?” king’s messaged

“i’m live streaming with jess.” I answered.

“i’m live streaming babe” he said.

“yes, I saw you online and watching” I replied.

“ but what are you guys talking about?” he asked.

“well, jess told me that he has crush on you.” I replied.

“wait, what!?” he loudly asked.

“ he said that he’s serious about you.” I replied.

“he’s just making fun form me, I know his trip thoo, hkahka” he said.

“ what if it’s true? He’s serious?” I added.

“ are you jealous?” he asked.

“no, I’m not, I promise.” I said

“are you sure, I’m just asking so I know what I need to do.” he replied.

“i’m not, promise” I answered.

“ I love you then.!” he said.

“I love you too, babe!” I repplied.

An hours after our conversation, jess and I started a live and talk something about his side for king. At first, he just great me like we were close and then he started to ask about king.

“cess!, how are you?” he joyfully asked.

“here, doin’ great, hkahka” I said while laughing.

“so what’s poppin girl?” he asked.

“nothing much bb!” I answered

“well, I felt so fluttered because kind said “I love you” awhile ago!” he’s fluttered answer.

“is that so?, hajhajhja” I said

“but I don’t take it as an advantage because he said that he had this girl chatting with him for 2 months I think?” he said

“awww, is that so? I know that he had but I’m not sure thooo.” I replied.

“do you know her?” he asked.

“no, I don’t” I said.

After this convo, king started to watch our live and jess started to flirt at him again but because king is straight and not interested on him, he decided just to go with the flow and make jess feel so fluttered.

“bb, king is already here!” I said to jess.

“oh my gosh!, hello baby!” excitedly answered.

“hkahkahakha” I just laughed at them and watch them.

While we were streaming, king messaged me and told me everything like how’ he feeling about jess’ trip.

“ I think that jess is just tripping up with me!” king messaged.

“ don’t you know what jess told me awhile ago? He said that you made him fluttered by saying “I love you” to him. Hkahkaha” I said.

“yes, I told him that but in the end, I said char!”.”he’s too naughty thoo, he’s trippin’ me or making fun of me, then I’ll go with the flow.” I added.

“hkahahakhaa” I just laugh

“I don’t know if he’s serious or not but I never mind it anymore because for me, you’re my one and only babe.” he said.

“but babe, lets not tell jess about us ha.” my favor for him.

“sure, why not!” he said.

“i just want to know something about him when it comes to, making sure that he will not steal you from me.” I naughty replied at him.

“what a crazy mind is that my queen? Hahhaa, remember that you’re always be my babe. I love you” he answered.

“ I love you so much babe!” I replied.

At this point, I felt so fluttered about him but I’m still streaming so I came back from our live but this time king is not watching anymore. So as king left the stream, jess started to tell chikas about him.

“bb, I streamed with king awhile ago and I saw that girl he was saying because he did screen-sharing.”

“ where?” I asked

“on his instagram bb!” he replied.

(I got nervous but fighting since we don’t have some proof.)

“ but bb, I’m not sure because I didn’t recognized her well, and I saw a girl too on his messenger but I don’t thins that’s it too because there are so many chatheads and it’s all groupchats as well.”

“ahh, okay hkahakha.” I answered.

“bb, help me ha.” asking favor.

“yessss, promise..” I responded.

Jess and I had a lot of chika during live streaming. We had a lot of fun during that time. From all those news that I got from jess, I put in mind that king is not making stupid things as much as cheating because he knows how painful it is. I just prayed to God that I hope king is serious about me and not cheating to another girl. And I just thought that it was just a friend that he was talking with.

A night during at the same day, kira and I started live streaming again. At first, I critically think if should I tell kira or not about those news I heard from jess. I’m thinking because I know kira, kira is a judgemental person. Kira will say anything that she wanted to tell even without proof but for some reason I told her about it.

“sisz, I have something to tell you.” I said.

“what is it ?” she asked.

“sisz, jess said a while ago in our stream that king have someone in instgram like they were chatting there.” I said.

“aww, bad new siz!” he answered.

“hkahka” I just laughed.

“that’s a red flag siz. Be mindful, stop what you are guys up to!”. she said.

“no, were not sure about it since we don’t have any proof about it!” I replied.

At this point in time I got pissed off from kira. She had a lot of thing that she said against king. She misunderstood king and judged him without knowing the truth as well as not having a proof. I got angry on her, she messed up king’s name with other people and the reason that I got into that feeling is because I don’t want someone will be hurt just because of me. Many guys misunderstood king since there was a viewers that time before. I defended king against them but they insist that I should stop being stupid for him in that situation but I keep pointing out to them that “why would I stop without knowing his side”, “ I know what to do, and what I need to do is t seek for the truth and let him explain for his side.”, and “In the end, I don’t want to regret that I didn’t let him explain his side.”

After the argument, king join us streaming without knowing that he was our topic. Even king was in our stream, kira continue to say anything about certain problems connected in my situation. King stay still and and keeping on quiet. Because of the fact that our live title is “RED FLAG”, I think king got the point of it and he left the stream and I panicked about it so I messaged him as soon as possible.

“babe?” I asked.

“yes babe?” he asked.

“why’d you left?” I asked.

(messenger’s ringing, he called)

“babe, why’d you left?” I asked?

“ I just left because I can’t understand what are you guys up to.”

“ but babe, is it true that you had someone on IG?” I asked?

“what?, who said those things to you?, is that the reason why “red lfag” is the title of your live?” he asked like he’s stressed out.

“i must say yes?, I don’t believe jess about it thooo.” I said.

“if that so?, let me show you the dm section for clarification.”

(king showed me his dm section and messenger through screen sharing)

��see?, I don’t have another girl. The girl in my instagram is my yugo friend, the reason why I’m chatting with her is that I’m asking her if what time they are going to live.” he said.

“well, don’t be too stressed out about that. I trust you babe. So have a good vibes..” I said to him.

“i’ll hang up this call, go to your live and vibe with them” he said like he’s hurt.

“don’t mind it anymore babe, just put in your mind that I trust you.” I said before he hanged up.

“okay” he said.

After the call, king messaged me saying “I love you” and I answered back to him “I love you too”. I cheered him up by telling him that I have trust on him that why I keep fighting for him.

“how could you trust me? Why are you keep saying that you had trust on me, thooo were just talking on yugo and online?” he asked.

“why?, you don’t want me to have trust on you?” I asked him back.

“it’s up to you” he replied.

“well, I’ll trust you anyways that I want.” I said.

King said,“we still cant be on an intimate love.”, “were not meeting in person, we two are just hoping, and this is just a “HOPE”. it will be a long time for us to reach or pursue this kind of intimate love.”

“it will never be intimate if you would not give it a try, right?” I answered.

“i just don’t want you to be hurt” he said.

“why? Do you have plan to left me and find some other girls near to you? You don’t trust me or not?” I asked.

“ughhh! Fuck, this is so hard to explain.” “ how could this type of our situation work?” he’s frustrating asked for me.

“it will never work if we will not try it king.” I said.

“so you’ll take risk, even though its an online relationship?” he asked

“i’m ready to take risk tho, but I don’t know if you’re ready too.” I said.

“ I want it too, but I’m too coward for this because I don’t want to cause you pain” he replied.

“it will work if the both of us will fight together” I said.

“ just let the time work, lets wait for the right time for us, okay?, I’m just here.” he said.

“ I LOVE YOU” he added

I replied, “ I LOVE YOU TOO”.

After this conversation, I almost cry because I overthink and I overthink about what will happen the next. I had a lot of what ifs again like, “what if one day he will not chat me anymore?”, “what if he left me hangging?”, “what if he’s restraining himself for us to have an intimate love?”, “what if someday he will tell me for us to stop?”. That night I felt so unwell, I felt so empty and that time, I loose appetite to stream in yugo but after thirty minutes, That point in time, I must say that, that was the worst night that I had in my life. My what ifs that I was scared off suddenly happened on its wrong timing. My world crumbled and the only thing that I can do is to cry secretly. Not as being an exaggerated person but I asked God why did this thing happened to me?. king was the only one who made me feel that I deserve to be respected, I deserve to be love, and I’m worth it just I am. I thought he’s the one, the one that will never leave me behind.

(king messaged me)

“babe?” he asked

“yes?” I respond.

“why did you fell for me?, we don’t have label but we’re calling each other “babe” and saying “I love you” back to each others?” he asked.”I’m just clearing things up tho,”

“I fell for you because you’re different from all those guys that I met before.” I answered.

“ like how?” his ask.

“i like you just the way you are. Because of you, I felt so excited to wake up in the morning, and no words can explain how different you are” I answered.

“ cess, we don’t have label right?” he asked

(at this point, I got very nervous, he called me cess already, there so many things came up in my mind and I don’t even know what to do.)

“yes” I said.

“can we stop this for a while?” he asked.

“but why?” I asked him back.

“ I’m having a hard time because of this, I’m studying and I’m worried if someday I cant be able to make you happy, I cant be able to update you, I cant be able to talk with you and I cant be able to make you smile” he said.

“what if I’m not willing to stop of what we have for so long?” I asked. “ I understood your point, were both student here and all we can do is to go with the flow and sorry if kira misunderstood you before.” I added.

After that, king called me and explain his side, he told me to stop the things that we are up to and be friends this time. He told me that he will never change, the king that I know before will be the king until the end. He’s too sorry for me, he told me that if there is something wrong about us is that could be him. I don’t need to blame myself about us because it’s all in him. He love me but the distance woke us up to reality that it will be hard for us to enter in a relationship that we were up to. In that point, I don’t know what to do but to cry and accept his decisions.

“cess,please don’t cry anymore” his message.

“i’m okay, thank you” I replied. “ but agai, sorry for messing up your name. I ‘am also wrong to let my feelings brought me up on what we are before.” I added.

“it’s okay, we cant really control our emotions and again, I’m sorry” he replied.

“yes, masakit pero ayos lang (it hurts but it’s fine)” I said.

“i’ am really sorry, it’s all my fault” he replied.

“ thank you for everything, for making me feel that I’m worth it to love and to have.” I said.

“ you’re worth it, but you’re not meant for me” he said.

“thank you king.” I replied

And king answered, “thank you queen”.

After our conversation, I visited my yugo and I saw jess streaming. I watched and I was invited to his live. Even though I’m still crying that time, I accepted his invitation and act like I had flu but behind that, I was still crying for what happened for awhile. Since jess and I used to talk about king, he asked me again and I answered it all.

“bb, do you know the girls now? The girl that king talks about?” his ask.

“uhhmm, why do you keep aking me about her?” I asked him.

“well, I’m just curious” he said.

“honestly, I was the girl who you wanted to know!” I answered.

“omg, is it true? I’m sorry” he said. “how are you guys tho?” he added.

“actually, we just ended up what we are before I stream with you. And the reason that I have runny nose it is because I’m still crying right now.” I replied

“what was the reason?” he asked.

“honestly because of what you’ve said before, I told kira that king has someone on his IG and she started to make assumptions against king, tho I’m not believing on that thing since I don’t have proof about it. And I think the reason why he did that decision is because he felt so down about what din kira said before” I said.

“omg, I felt so bad for that. I think its all my fault. In our place, they always call me a relationship wrecker because I’m always messing up relationships. Today, I have I messed up three relationship. Sorry, its all my fault.” he said.

“don’t be sorry, its not your faulth bb.” I said.

“ I know how king loves you, he’s always sharing something good about you. He’s always flexing you cess.” he said

“i felt that love from him jess, but I think he downgrade himself and brought himself into that decision” I replied

“ it’s okay not to be okay bb, everythinh will be alright.” he’s cheering me up.

“i met a lot of guys before but he’s the only one who made me feel like this, I will wait for him. I’ll wait for one week and will not entertain some other guys and if king didn’t message me within a week, I’ll let him go.

Jess replied, “I’ll support you in any ways, I’m just here for you.”

On the next day, I felt so empty, I don’t have appetite to attend online classes, I just wanted to sleep all day and that feeling was what I felt for a couple of days. The people that I am with in our home keep asking me “what happened to me”, I am acting different for a couple of days, and I became quiet and I just want to be alone. Because of the fact that I am broken, I brought up myself into this situation. Since I don’t know what to do, I keep on crying all day and open up from some of my friends on yugo. I did not entertain kira for three days but as a friend I forgave her.

As time passes by, I’m still broken. I always posted a lot of “hugot” message for him, I shared posts related to my situation and how I felt since he left me, I always post memes for a purpose and all of those are for him, but as I’ve said, time passes by and the most awaited time for a couple of days just happen on its perfect timing.

One day, on the afternoon, I was just scrolling at my social medias and unexpectedly king sent me a picture saying that “ thank you sun for the warmth, thank you clouds for the shade, and You, thank you for existing.” my heart aches because it beats so fast, I felt so fluttered about that and I rashly forward it back to him.

After this event, everything has returned. We begin right from the start but at this point in time, we put God in the center of our relationship until he grant us the grace and time for us to meet after waiting for so long and suffer long distance relationship. Now, we are the characters of our on story, no supreme beings, no power, no fairy, and sailing on a huge sea while putting in our mind that our relationship is not like a book or a movie anymore that runs fast as flash and began and started to last.

#lovehasnodistance #havingyounearme queencessquinn kingglean

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someonetheelusivefangirl · 7 years

Text

Klangst - Don’t Keep it Bottled Up, part 2

Soooo, I said that the fluff would come in the next part, and that was what I had intended, but since I wanted to post something today and I’m too tired to write up the rest right now, I’m splitting up the second part of the headcanon into two parts. Sorry!

Click here for part one of the headcanon, or check out my headcanon masterpost for more of my headcanons.

Don’t worry I promise there’s some fluff coming up in part 3! Sorry for any mistakes (I’m falling asleep rn)!

To say that Lance felt bad the rest of the day would be a severe understatement. If he had thought that the exhaustion and frustration from before was bad, the guilt and uncertainty that now weighed upon his mind was thousands of times worse.

He couldn’t bear to look anyone in the eye for the rest of the day, scared of what he’d say, what his expression might show. He knew he should’ve tried harder to hide it, because of /course/ the others would notice. He never tried to show any of his darker emotions. He had always tried to have a smile on his face, just so he could see another person smile too.

Lance’s mother had taught him about the power of expressions when he was little. She had told him about how, even if he was feeling bad, if he could still smile, that smile would brighten someone’s day, and that maybe that knowledge alone could make him feel better too. And so Lance had grown up laughing over the sound of his embarrassment, smiling through the harder times. He wanted to make others laugh. He wanted to make them smile. He took their negativity and kept it buried away, never letting anyone feel just how dark and heavy his heart felt under the burden. He had planned to keep it that way.

That had gone out the window from his and Keith’s first meeting. He found someone around whom he felt no need to fake smiles. He would scowl and glare whenever the mood hit him. It was weird, new, and Lance didn’t know what to do with it. Rationally he knew he didn’t hate Keith, though he had believed this in the beginning, but it was frustrating how hard it was to put up fronts around him. Today he had snapped, unleashing all those years of frustration, anger and hurt, on the one person from whom he’d never taken any negativity.

He felt sick, awful in the knowledge of what he’d said. He knew he could have a sharp tongue, but in the moment he hadn’t been thinking. He’d just been so stupid, proving just what everyone believed about him, and now he was making the others worry too. They all approached him and he sent them away as gently and swiftly as he could. He was fine. He /was/ fine…but now Keith wasn’t.

Hunk was the hardest to send away, for which Lance was grateful for him being such a good friend, and yet he couldn’t stand him being around. It wasn’t Lance that needed comforting. No. He wanted to be shouted at, because what he'd done was terrible. Eventually Hunk relented with a heavy sigh and soft words promising an ear if he should need one. Hunk was the best. Lance really didn’t deserve him.

Lance’s stomach grumbled, so he went to eat, but looking at the food made him nauseous. With nothing better to do, he headed to his room, wincing upon spying Keith’s door. Should he… Should he, what? He didn’t know what to do. He had never been in such a delicate situation before, and Lance was awful when it came to sensitivity. He knew an apology wouldn’t be enough. Maybe begging for forgiveness?

Ughhh. He felt dizzy and sick as he considered what he should do. Maybe he shouldn’t see him right now. He wasn’t in the right mind to talk. However, what if he left it too long?! In the end, as his stomach grumbled again, he went into his room, collapsing on the bed. He didn’t care that it was too early to sleep, he didn’t care he hadn’t changed, he didn’t care he hadn’t washed. He was exhausted.

Lance lay there, too tired to do anything. Including sleep.

Lance was a naturally active person. Now, this didn’t mean he was particularly keen on sports or exercise. However, when he had energy, he HAD to do something or else suffer the constant buzz beneath his skin. Unfortunately for him, despite his mental exhaustion and worsening hunger, as he lay on his bed, he could feel that itch to do something. It wasn’t long before his foot began to tap. Then, before he knew it, he was pacing the small room, head and arms hanging loosing as he let his feet carry him in circles.

As much as he wished to be able to sleep, Lance knew he would have to face Keith soon. The longer he left it, the harder it’d get. Yet this knowledge didn’t help ease the tightening of his heart at the thought of seeing Keith again. What kind of face would he have? Would he still have that cold expression? …would Lance even get to see him?

Given the circumstances, the last thing Keith probably wanted to do was see Lance, but it was inevitable. They were stuck together on the Castle, and they'd have to work with each other sooner or later when they next needed to form Voltron. Plus, Lance didn’t know how long he could cope with even more tension between him and Keith. The problem was Lance’s record of riling Keith up. Outside of pickup lines, Lance was not the most eloquent when it came to words, and despite first impressions, Lance had learnt that Keith was quite sensitive. Which meant that Lance would have to be careful when apologising.

Their situation was unstable enough as it was, he couldn’t afford letting his loose mouth cost him any chance of reconciliation. Which meant that Lance needed to decide his words before they next met. Finally coming up with a plan, Lance stopped pacing his room to sit heavily on the edge of his bed. Now the only problem was what to say.

It turned out to be quite a big problem as Lance sat on his bed, mulling over how to begin the conversation, only for him to change his mind each time. It never sounded right; too casual or too stiff. He wanted Keith to know he was being sincere, but Lance didn’t have much experience when it came to sincerity. Of course, he was honest to people about what he thought, but he felt like he needed to do more than just state what was on his mind. Besides, it was just so embarrassing to actually admit how he felt, and since old habits die hard, Lance knew he’d end up quipping at Keith to hide the embarrassment. Since when was having a conversation so difficult?!

Wait…that’s it! The way to start his apology! It would mean that he wouldn’t have to catch Keith alone and risk any slips of his tongue. Lance nodded his head, decision made. He now knew what to do.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since then, but as Lance woke up suddenly, from a nap he didn’t remember taking, Lance heard the distinct swoosh of Keith’s door opening and closing. Finishing the last bit of writing, Lance waited a couple of minutes to make sure the coast was clear. Then, he snuck into the corridor, still having the need to slowly poke his head out first. As quietly as possible he slunk to Keith’s door. Now the only question that remained was whether Keith had just entered or left. Thankfully, there was a sure-fire way of checking. Keith had a reputation for always locking his door when he was inside, ever since Coran apparently ran into his room without notice.

If he was in his room, Lance’s passcode would not work and Lance would have to call out to Keith to let him in, though that was not the plan this time. He needed Keith to be out, and as the door opened immediately, Lance let out a small breath of relief. He backed slowly into the room, his head still checking down both ends of the corridor for signs of Keith’s return. He kept the lights off as he slinked inside, knowing there wouldn’t be any obstacles in Keith’s room. All he had to do was place the note and leave before Keith came back. Lance had brought tape, not wanting to risk the note falling off or getting lost in the bedding.

He needed Keith to see this note. It was the start of his apology that would hopefully be enough to convince Keith to at least hear the rest out in person. So, with the taped note in hand, he made his way over to Keith’s bed in the dark, thankful for the lack of personal effects Keith kept in his room to have to worry stepping around (though a part of Lance hated the lack of belongings they had in the Castle, after all, this was to be their home for however long it took for it to all be over, and as everyone loved to remind Lance, who knew when that would be). Lance leaned over the bed, reaching to stick the tape to the wall next to Keith’s pillow. That should be a good spot.

A throat clearing made Lance jump, almost falling into the bed in his shock. Then, as Lance looked down, his eyes struggling to see anything in the dim room, he made out the shape of something on the pillow. Or, more specifically, someone.

Oh, quiznak…

Well, I hoped you enjoyed this small part! Please check out part 3 (and the epilogue)! As usual, I’m happy to chat/discuss theories/headcanons if you ever fancy, so just drop me a message if you do.

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duchess-of-weirdness-blog · 7 years

Text

The last time I pour my heart out.

The last time I pour my heart to another human being was today. If you refer to my post right before this one you will be caught up to speed.

I didn’t want to risk something so real ( or what I felt was real) turned out to be a lie. I wrote everything I could to try to ask this guy to think for himself. Going into a marriage with someone you don’t even know and will never love? Sounds sounds absurd to me. I was in a place were we became best friends just the distance killed us. I planned to meet him next month. He dropped a bomb on me… below I’m sharing the long text letter that I sent him. I am sharing this becuase my pain might help someone else not to make the same mistake. Don’t long distance date. If you are interracially dating please make sure you are not with a coward. Make sure that you are with someone who would stand up to every system.. every person to fight for you like you would do for them. Everyone is not that strong and will use you for their selfish needs.

( my open heart below )

Sourabh… Please only read this when you are alone…

This is some of the worst pain that I ever felt. I was so open and honest with you from the beginning about everything. I feel like everything you ever said to me was a lie. I understand that we are in two different places. I also know it’s a new world how can you follow old traditional views.. that you told me you didn’t even follow. What we had was so genuine and real. I know if we could have met up things would be different. Not knowing if we could have been something more is what feels like it’s killing me inside. I couldn’t even sleep… I couldn’t eat. Just like trying to keep busy working on my projects.. it’s crazy how if I got to send a message you pop up first because you were my most contacted person. You went from telling me good morning everyday to just silently leaving me. I’m writing a lot because writing is like my therapy and I gotta get it all out. It is possible to survive in this world with two totally different people. You don’t have to be the same ethnicity or religion to really love someone. 😑 love is love or like.. whatever and it should happen naturally not forced.. Not because someone said. We talked about this so I really feel like this hurt was done on purpose. You did everything to heal my heart just to break it again. That’s the most fucked up shit I ever felt in my life bro… Then you tell me to give you time like there’s even a chance of hope for me and you. I know that there isn’t any hope. I never got to hug you talk to you.. or do any of that fun stuff like showing you around California and going to concerts like we talked about. I hate when I get a message on whatsapp now because it’s never you. How could you call someone your best friend and just abandon them & their emotions? Trust me I know how important family is and how they can have a influence on you. You should man up and do what you really want to do. I really wish we could have met in person. It’s different.. like if we would have met & it didn’t work out fine… but now it’s like we never got the chance to try… I can’t go from having all these feelings for you to going into the friend zone. If I’m taking the time to write all this and get everything in the open I hope that you can see how much I really did care. My emotions don’t lie… I felt it so strong and asked you if there was someone else… you just asked me why I always thought so negative. It wasn’t that I was thinking negatively I was thinking the truth. You just lied to me in my fucking face… and then tell me I can’t text you in a loving way for some bitch you never even met or talked to…. That’s crazy we chose each other. That should mean something… you can’t just block someone special out your life. You have to fight for them. You only get one life and you have to fight for the things you want. Me writing this is my way of fighting… although I know this is a war that I’ve already lost. Fuck all the stress and these terrible feelings that I feel… I wish we could just run away and spend some quality time with no labels and no pressure just doing fun stuff together. There is a long life ahead there’s no need to rush into marriage or any situation just because someone else thinks its best. Don’t get all scared thinking someone else will see this… I wouldn’t care if the world saw this message because it’s something so pure and just heartfelt. We live in a world where everyone is just out for self gain… All I wanted to gain was maybe my best friend falling in love with me.. now I’ll never know. I only tried to start my old job back while I was still feeling sick just to meet you in person. I know I’ll have to let it go for my own health.. my blood pressure got really high crying and just thinking about you… crying the whole time that I type this. Remember the guy that I told you that u reminded me of? Hassan ? That comedian… it’s crazy because in his show that I love so much… he almost lost his wife because his dad tried to change his mind… but his sister stepped in and told him to follow his heart.. they’re both two different religions and the odds were stacked against them. But they just followed their hearts.. Follow your heart even if your heart doesn’t lead you to me.. listen to your heart because your brain just tells you everything that won’t work.. but your heart tells you everything that will work. Trust me I’m not trying to steal you away from your family or friends. Everyone can exist together.. I have no idea what’s going on in your mind… I know I’m probably not even on your mind because my texts are just empty… I can’t just sit around while you try to get to know someone else…. 😑😑😑 I was really trying to spend your birthday with you & party like we talked about. Ughhh Why did I believe it? I’m so fucking stupid.. but people are only stupid for people they really care about. I swear this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write because it’s a goodbye before a beginning. It’s like the end to something so natural and pure.. We are so different yet so much the same. I know love probably isn’t in the forecast for me. I just hope you’re happy… and just know that some people really have stronger feelings than others. Like don’t fuck with someone’s emotions especially when they were so open with you about being hurt before. It really feels like that lady gaga song bad romance. I know I could never be your friend. I can’t watch the guy I wanted so bad growing to love someone else. It’s not fair for me to get online and just see that I don’t have a message from you. Do you realize that we talked everyday? That meant something to me. I know now that it didn’t mean anything to you. I don’t normally make that much time for men. I’m not just anybody… like I actually do shit.. I know u met me when I got sick but I’m a boss.. I really wanted to do business with you and make money. Do you know how epic that could have been? My connections in the USA! Your connections in India.. that could have really been some power couple type of shit. Espically when my app drops.. wow I know this is long but I feel like it will probably be the last thing that I get to say to you. Although I wish things would go my way & you would just be like nooo I choose u haha but deep down I know because I felt you disconnect from me… I felt it when I asked you & u just lied to me & said you were dating the gym lol remember that?

It sucks cuz I’ve been going to work on my projects sick.. of course I’m not gonna blame all my stress on you… but of course losing you hurts a lot. In a perfect world of course I wish you would just be like I choose you! We could just explore and travel u show me india I show u California and we go on different adventures together…. but this isn’t a perfect world is it? 😓 I know.. life changes but I didn’t think it would change this fast. Lol I told you how I’m writing scripts all the time well now at least you get to see something besides short texts lol I do want to say thank you for the times when I was really sick you motivated me got me in the gym. These past few days I haven’t eaten meat & I’m gonna stay that way now. I hope I had or have some kind of impact on you also. I also want you to know that it’s okay to interracially date. It’s so beautiful to be with someone who is not exactly the same as you. You have to be a very brave person to do that.. because the world will judge you! They will hate it but I feel like for something real it’s worth it. I don’t know where you stand with all that we never really talked about it. Mostly that’s what it boils down to tho in this world.

I’m still a virgin so I don’t have much experience… but I do know if I ever have kids I want them to find true love on their own and I’ll love them enough to respect their choice no matter what it is. I honestly didn’t know things like what you’re going through is still happening in 2017! Fuck I feel like I’m saying last words at a funeral or something.. but the truth is life goes on… I can’t lie I’m gonna miss you so fucking much. I hope you think of me some time. I will tell you this… she can never care about you or love you the way I did.. It won’t ever be real.. she’s just going along with some bullshit plan and tradition so she can have a life and be taken care of.. it won’t ever be real love.. your future kids none of that shit will be made out of real love… one day you’ll regret not standing up for yourself and being your own man.

That’s what I’ve been learning how to stand up for myself and say how I really feel. I had a crazy business meeting today and I stood up and told everyone the truth! That they were full of shit and it was beautiful. Lol I probably would have been texting you all about it haha.. but anyway I won’t.. I will say that I’m sorry for opening up to you so much… I’m sorry for trusting the things you said.. because I just opened myself up for this pain… I won’t be open with anyone else like that ever again.. I’m learning to protect my feelings.. I’m growing and learning but I know one day I will get there. I just have so many questions did your family find oit you were talking to a black girl and get mad? Or did u know this was happening all along? Why would you meet new people if you knew you were trapped in a traditional world? I hope you set yourself free. I wish I had no feelings I swear😑 I’m mad I feel so used… I know you technically weren’t mine but u knew I was gonna meet u and we would have been together… I can still pick up on your vibes.. just like when you lied I felt it.. I can feel when u think about me… I can feel when you just ignore the feeling and do nothing about it.. We talked everyday… now this.. I’m not even good enough for a hello… With friends like this I definitely don’t need any enemies. Sadly coming to the end of writing this I feel like I wasted so much of my time. You won’t listen to a single thing I said because you’re blinded. I’m still gonna send this to you tho.. because I’m stupid and I always like trying one last time. I’m addicted to the feeling of heartbreak.. that shit has happened so many times until it feels good.. It’s like a high.. I knew that shit was coming. I should have never entertained you. You’ll probably just block me again or something and go on like I never existed. Idk… I’m so excused.. I think I said as much as I can say.. Sincerely the girl who actually never lied to you and valued you - Dawnn

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bts-sky-blog · 7 years

Text

Seeing Stars

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader, appearances by the one and only kim yugeyom

Summary: For some reason, being around Jungkook seems to be a hazard to your health. In fact, it all starts with a concussion.

Word count: 4.8k

You can’t say you hate your job, but sometimes, it can be stressful. As the assistant for the head of JYP entertainment, it’s often your responsibility to retrieve a variety of odds and ends, ranging anywhere from clothing to drinks to various makeup products. Today, you’ve been given one of the longest lists of tasks you’ve ever received, and you’ve been rushing around Seoul all day to try and get everything done.

You park hastily in front of the boba shop, making sure to lock your car before rushing inside. You’re not sure why, but apparently this is GOT7′s current obsession: boba from the world renowned Gong Cha shop.

You read out your list of orders (it’s a long list because apparently Bambam wants to try every drink on the menu thanks a lot man), and sit down in the only empty seat you see, at the window bar. It’s not a big space, so you’re a pressed in between two people; on one side, a girl on her phone, and on the other, a pale man with mint green hair. Glancing around, you notice a familiar face. He’s talking to the man with green hair, and for some reason, you feel like you’ve seen him before. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to figure out where.

Then it clicks. You remember seeing him walking out of the JYP building with Yugyeom a few times, wearing seemingly the same outfit every time you saw him: ripped jeans, a black face mask, and a large white tee shirt. You had assumed he was an idol of some sort, but you never thought to ask Yugyeom about his friends(it is not, in fact, your business).

The thought of him is brushed from your mind as you realize your order is ready. You stand in a hurry to go pick it up- a little too much of a hurry, actually. Your foot catches on the chair, and you’re sent flying, landing hard on your left arm. Your head hits the floor as you go down, and stars dance in your vision.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You look up to see the same man with the large white shirt, crouching over you, afternoon sunlight spilling over the bridge of his nose and shining in his brown eyes.

“You’re friends with Yugyeom, aren’t you?” Your words are a little stilted, and you’re not entirely sure what you’re saying. “You have a nice voice…”

“She might have a concussion,” you hear another voice from further away.

“Can you get up?” He looks concerned, and you nod quickly. The movement sets your head spinning, and you close your eyes for a minute.

“Yeah, just-” you start to push yourself up, but pain shoots through your left arm before you can get far. Swearing, you drop back to the floor. “Sorry, my arm hurts.”

“What’s your name? Is there anyone I can call to come get you?”

“No, no, you don’t have to do that! I can make it, I’m fine. But I might need some help getting up.” You examine him closely. He looks a little flustered. “You’re kinda red, are you okay? You know, I’ve seen you before. With Yugyeom. Have I said that? Are you friends with him? How come you always wear the same outfit?” You tilt your head to the side at his expression. Mouth parted slightly, eyebrows creeping up. He looks a little funny, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Come on, I’ll help you get up. We should get you to the hospital.”

A little more than a week later, and you can’t believe yourself. “Jimin, what did I do? I totally embarrassed myself. I just wasn’t thinking, oh my god, I am ruined.”

He frowns, sitting down next to you. “Well, in all fairness, you did have a concussion.”

“That’s no excuse! I told him he had a nice voice and asked him- multiple times, even- if he was friends with Yugyeom. And I asked him why he always wore the same thing, which is insulting at best.” Jimin starts to respond, but you cut him off before he can get far. “And you should have seen him, Jimin! He’s so good looking... and with the sunlight shining off his hair...”

“I know the doctors said you’d be back to normal by now, but I’m not so sure you are. You never talk about guys like this, even though yours truly gives you loads of complimentable material. I mean have you seen me? And now you’re gushing over a mystery guy?” He laughs and leans back. “You’ll be fine. Even though your life is over, you’ll probably never see him again.”

“But if I do it’ll be so embarrassing! He’s friends with Yugyeom, who I work with, in case you’ve forgotten. And he was even nice enough to take me to the hospital and make sure I was alright, even after I lowkey insulted his outfit choices. I wish there were at least a way to compensate him for listening to my temporary break of insanity.”

“Well, you could always bring him cookies or something. We all love your cookies over at BigHit.”

You nod slowly, feeling sorry for yourself. “I guess, but isn’t a little weird? I mean, I barely even know him. What if he’s allergic to chocolate or gluten or something? And then I make him cookies and he eats them and has to ironically go to the hospital because of a fatal allergic reaction? What does he even like them? What if I get it wrong and it ends up doing more harm than good? I would end up being more embarrassed than before. Besides, how will I get them to him? It’s not like I see him on the daily. I’ve seen him maybe twice in passing.”

Jimin shrugs. “Ask Yugyeom. You’re close enough, right?”

“That’s a good idea, actually. One second, let me text him.” You pull out your phone, finding your most recent texts. It was a very sad list comprising of your mother, your sister, and the GOT7 group chat that was mostly just a meme distribution ring courtesy of the maknaes, Bambam and Yugyeom. For some reason, they spent all of their time during which they were supposed to practice finding new memes. While you found it funny, it was not so funny in important meetings when your phone buzzed every second with new images.

You send a quick text to Yugyeom.

you: hey yugyeom, weird question but who is your friend that only owns one outfit?

you: i think i met him a few days ago

yugyeom: oh jungkook? the ultimate meme machine? jeans and a white shirt with tims?

you: yeah?

you: he was the one who helped me when i got a concussion at that boba place

yugyeom: wow what a gentleman

yugyeom: remind me to hold that over his head. i’m not sure how it could be used as blackmail, as it was technically a good deed, but i will find a way.

you: no ok but i want to say thank you, for like, u know, saving my life and my job by calling the office off my phone so that i wouldn’t lose my job by disappearing and taking me to the hospital

you: does he like cookies?

yugyeom: yeah but not as much as i do

you: i’m not making cookies for you. that is not what this is about.

yugyeom: y nottttt

you: bc i have other, more important things to do other than cater to your cookie cravings, like you know, help u guys prepare for your world tour

yugyeom: pleaseeee i’ll let u in on the premium memes he sends me

you: i’ll think about it. you drive a hard bargain.

you: anyway

you: is he allergic to anything? and if i gave them to you could you pass them along?

yugyeom: well he’s not allergic to anything

yugyeom: about delivering them

yugeom: hmmmmm

yugyeom: maybe

yugyeom: only if u give me some cookies too xx

you: ughhh fineeeee

you: but you better not expect this again in the future

yugyeom: ~~~~ love u

yugyeom: just lemme know when u drop them off and i’ll get them to him when i can

you: thxx

Smiling to yourself, you slide your phone back into your pocket.

“So? Is he allergic to chocolate? Or gluten? Or your personality?” Jimin looks on curiously.

“Funny, Jimin, but no. I think I’ll make them tonight, if I get the chance,” you decide.

“Good idea. Let me know how this goes, okay? I must stay up to date on your embarrassing endeavors.”

“Will do, asshole.” You glance down at your watch, frowning when you realize how much time has passed. “Crap, my lunch break is just about over. Alright, I’ve got to get back to work, but I’ll be around. Let me know if you want to hang out. Or if you’re bored. I have few friends, Jimin, don’t leave me stranded.” He laughs and stands with you.

“Sure, sure. Good luck at work!” You smile and wave goodbye, heading back to work. You’re not really looking forward to facing this afternoon’s tasks, but someone has to do it... You just wish that someone wasn’t you sometimes.

The next morning, you knock on the door that leads to the bedroom Yugyeom and Bambam share before swinging it open, not bothering to wait for an answer. He’s sitting at the desk that’s crammed into the corner of the room, holding a bowl of cereal and looking half-asleep.

“Rise and shine, motherfucker! You’ve got some cookie delivering to do.” You drop the cookie tin in front of him, and he startles at the sound.

“Jeez, don’t do that... you scared me.” He yawns and rubs a hand over his face. “It’s too early for this.”

“It's one in the afternoon, my friend.”

“It's my day off! Give me a break. You know how hard I have to work for this job?”

“No, I don't, because every waking moment of every day you're sending memes in the group text. How is that classified as “hard work”?”

“That's what I'm working on. It's an endless search for memetic immortality. Your new best friend, that you are apparently stealing from me, is the meme master and shares the burden of this quest with me. I hope you put some pepes on the cookies in icing or some shit, because that would be hilarious.”

You roll your eyes, pushing the tin towards him. “Anyway. Will you get these delivered today?”

“Yeah, of course. The man himself is gonna be here later today.” You nod, hoping he doesn’t forget. “Hey. Where are the cookies you promised me?”

You reach into your bag, rummaging around until you find a smaller tin. “These are for you.”

“How come I don’t get as many as Jungkook?” He frowns, reaching for the tin and opening it, examining the contents critically.

“Because I ate some of yours.” He opens his mouth to complain, but you hush him before he can say anything. “But I’m making brownies next week for friend’s birthday. If you’re nice about this, I might bring you a few.” He perks up at that.

“Will there be any good kush in those brownies? Because you know that shit is the bomb.”

You smack him lightly. “Have you ever even seen a blunt?”

“Good point.” He grins at you unabashedly. “And you’ll bring me some brownies.”

You nod, sighing a little to yourself. “Fine, if you’re nice. And if you actually pay attention during practice and meetings this week.”

He nods, waving you off. “Of course I will be. You know me. I’m an angel, right?”

You roll your eyes and adjust your bag on your shoulder. “Sure, Yugie. I’ll see you later.” You make your way over to the door as he pulls his cookies towards him.

“Have fun at work!”

You shoot him a look before closing the door behind you.

A day later, you get a text.

unknown: hi, is this y/n?

you: yes? if this you mark i swear to god i don’t have your chips and if you ask me one more time...

unknown: this is jungkook

you: ok, wait

you: how did you get my number?

jungkook: i asked yugyeom for it

jungkook: i just wanted to say thx for the cookies

jungkook: they were really good! did you make them? i feel like i’ve had this recipe before, but in a good way u feel

you: oh, thanks ,,

you: i did make them

you: but they were supposed to be a thank you in the first place... you don’t have to say thank you for a thank you

jungkook: well, i also wanted to check in and see if you were doing ok

And just like that, you fell a little harder for him.

jungkook: you didn’t look great when i left you at the hospital :(

you: wow you you really know how to charm a woman

jungkook: oh wait that totally sounds like an insult now that i think about it

you: lol no it’s totally fine i was kidding

you: thanks for checking in, i’m doing much better now

you: and i actually wanted to say sorry bc i was really out of it at the time and i didn’t really act the way i normally do

jungkook: no no no you’re good

jungkook: lol it was actually pretty cute

Cute? You raise an eyebrow, a smile creeping onto your face, but before you can respond, you get another panicked text.

jungkook: oh wait no i’m sorryyy i don’t know how to do thisss

you: no you’re fine! seriously don’t worry

you: but

you: would it rly be a crime to call me cute tho

jungkook: oh no i mean you are really cute!

jungkook: i just thought it might make you uncomfortable or something

you: seriously it’s fine don’t worry about it

jungkook: ok but actually the reason i texted you was to see if there was any way i could thank you for the cookies?

you: they were a thank you! you totally don’t have to do anything

jungkook: but what if i want to?

That makes you pause, fingers hovering over the screen.

you: well, you could always buy me coffee?

You’re sitting at a table at the coffee shop, checking your phone repeatedly. You can’t help but be nervous. I mean, this is the first time you’re actually meeting him. In your right mind, anyway.

You glance up when the bell on the door chimes, and he appears in the doorway, wearing the same outfit as ever. He glances around before his eyes settle on you. A smile lights up his face immediately- like sunlight, you think- and he heads in your direction.

You stand to greet him, returning the smile. “Hi! It’s nice to actually meet you. You know, when I don’t have a concussion.” He laughs nervously and nods.

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too! I’m glad you’re feeling okay.” He smiles, looking a little unsure of himself.

“Well, would you like to get some coffee?”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, that’s why we’re here, right?” You go over to the counter together, and when you order, of course he insists on paying. You knew that this was supposed to be a ‘thank you’ but you still halfway expected to be paying for your own.

You sit down together at a table in the corner once you have your drinks(and a muffin, in your case). “So, how do you know Yugyeom?”

“Oh, I work at JYP” you explain. “I’m Park Jinyoung’s assistant. JYP senior, though, as Junior doesn’t have his own personal assistant.”

“Oh, really?” He seems surprised. “I thought you might have been an idol in training. I mean, because you’re really prett-”he cuts off, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

You laugh, shaking your head. “I can neither sing nor dance outside of the shower, and it would be a travesty for a company to sign my nonexistent talent. But you flatter me. What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m with Big Hit.”

“So, you’re an idol?” He nods, looking a little embarrassed.

“You know, I have a friend who’s an idol there. Do you know Park Jimin?” His eyes light up, and he nods excitedly.

“Yeah! I love Jimin! I’m in the same group as he is, actually! He talks about you sometimes, I think!”

“Wait. You’re in BTS?” He nods, still smiling. “No way... Jimin hasn’t said anything about you that I remember...” Jungkook’s face falls a little at that, and you scour your memory to try and remember any mention of him. “Wait...” the realization dawns on you slowly. “You- does anyone ever call you Kookie?”

He lights up again. “Yes, that’s my nickname!”

“Oh my god, he talks about you all the time. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection before this...” you laugh, a little embarrassed. “I can’t wait to tell him about this. He has no idea.”

Jungkook grins and nods again. “Yeah, he’s definitely mentioned you before.”

“All good things, I hope?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it’s Jimin. He’s a nice person. Mostly.”

“Well. That’s debatable. But yes, while he is usually the human personification of salt, he has his moments.”

The time flies, and before you know it, he’s dropping you off at your apartment. “You really didn’t have to walk me home,” you say. But you’re glad he did, anyway.

“Well, I wanted to. What if you’d gotten hurt or something? Of course, seeing you with a concussion again probably wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. That was actually really funny.”

“Hey,” you protest, but you’re smiling. “Be nice.” You fall into silence for a brief moment, facing each other in front of the door. The overhead light catches on his hair and shimmers there. “Well, thank you for the coffee! I’ll have to pay you back sometime.”

“Yeah! Yeah, I had a nice time,” he smiles, looking nervous again. For a brief moment, you think he might kiss you. “I’d like to see you again.” You nod, smiling, and he hesitates for an awkward moment. “Um, well, have a nice night!” He clears his throat, stepping away towards the stairs.

“You too! Tell Jimin I say hi!” He nods, smiling, before making his way down the stairs. You’re left standing in front of your door, and you sigh to yourself before reaching forward to unlock the door.

You make your way into your apartment, closing the door behind you and pausing there. You let your head fall forward to rest against the wood.

What have I gotten myself into?

You’re running your hands over the steering wheel anxiously, Jimin sitting in the passenger seat beside you. “Nervous?” He has an irritating smile on his face, and the traffic isn’t helping your mood.

“No, I’m just swell. Perfect. I feel great,” you snap a little bit, not taking your eyes off of the bumper of the car in front of you.

“Seriously, I had no idea your knight in shining armor would be Jungkookie, of all people. Are you sure he’s fit for the job?” he laughed.

“Well, I didn’t know him either. Now that I think about it, why haven’t you shown me pictures of your members to match your stories? All I’ve pictured when you’ve mentioned him was a pig with huge biceps. Anyway, I suppose I’ll meet all of the other members, and there won’t be any more weird surprises down the road?”

“Yes! I’m looking forward to it, actually, I’ve been wanting to introduce you to them for a while now!”

“Yeah, Jungkook said you’d mentioned me,” you shoot him a look out of the corner of your eye, which he pointedly ignores.

“Yup, but I promise, all good things.”

“It better be.”

You finally pull into the parking lot of the cafe, though finding a spot is a bit of a struggle. Eventually, you manage to park and make your way inside.

You spot them almost immediately, at one of the larger tables off to the side. There are six of them, plus Jimin. You notice that one of them, with mint green hair, is the same one you’d seen talking to Jungkook when you’d first met him at the boba shop.

They wave when they see you, grinning and laughing, and you find yourself a little more at ease. At the very least, they look friendly. (If not almost intimidatingly good-looking)

One of them, with pale pink hair(it reminds you of cotton candy) stands up as you approach, smiling and reaching over to shake your hand. He introduces himself as Kim Namjoon, quickly striking up a conversation. He’s clearly well-spoken and intelligent, and you find that you like talking to him. However, he can’t hold your attention for long. Soon, you’re being crowded by curious faces. The names fly by so fast you almost miss them, and even with the support of Jimin’s anecdotes, you’re sure you won’t remember them in an hour.

Even as introductions are being made, you keep glancing over at Jungkook, and more often than not, you make eye contact.

Once that’s finished, you’re led over to sit between Jimin and Jungkook. The chatter continues, and though you don’t join in that much, you still find yourself laughing along with the rest of them. Every now and then, you look over and exchange a glance with Jungkook. He really lights up when he’s with the rest of the members.

It seems like no time has passed when they say goodbye, heading off in their own separate directions. Jimin leaves last, winking conspiratorially and throwing a very obvious glance over your shoulder at Jungkook, who’s stayed behind.

Once he leaves, you turn back to Jungkook. “So,” he says, “what’d you think?” He seems both eager and a little anxious to hear your response.

“Yeah, they were great! Although, I have to say, I still like you and Jimin best.” He laughs and blushes a little at that.

“Ah, you shouldn’t say that.” You shrug and smile at him.

“Too late. So, are we going to go do something? Or would you rather stay here?” You’d originally planned to spend some time with him one-on-one, but he and Jimin had decided the wedge a meet and greet in there, too.

“Well, there’s a nice park around here, if you’d like to go there?��

“Sure! I’ll follow your lead. I don’t know this area very well, you know.” The park is, in fact, quite pleasant. Living in Seoul does have its downsides(read: So. Much. City.), so you’re happy to be around actual trees and nature for once. Besides, with Jungkook, you find yourself laughing more than you have all week.

Again, it seems like time flies before it’s getting dark and you have to leave. You have to get up early for work tomorrow, so you unfortunately have to head home. Since you have a car, you drop Jungkook off at the dorms before heading home yourself.

Your apartment seems empty and remarkably quiet when you get back, after the excitement of the day. It’s okay, though, because the warm feeling in your chest chases some of the loneliness away.

Your next ‘date’ with Jungkook (you’re still not really sure what relationship you have, actually) happens to be an ice skating date. You, physically uncoordinated as you are, manage to fall an uncountable number of times, clinging to his arm. It’s still fun, though, and you’re not complaining.

About 45 minutes in, you decide to take a break. You sit on the benches while he goes to get hot chocolate. When he returns, he’s smiling, eyes shining, and you think he looks like sunlight.

“Your nose is a little pink,” he points out, handing one of the cups to you. You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling.

“No, really? I wonder why.”

“Well, at least it’s cute,” he says, almost like it slipped out before he thought about it, and sits down beside you.

You glance over at him. “That’s the second time you’ve called me cute.” He turns bright red almost immediately, looking down at his hands.

“Well,” he’s muttering now. “I mean, you are.”

You smile, but don’t respond, leaning back to watch the ice skaters. Some of them have clearly been skating for years. Others, not so much.

It’s not long before Jungkook swings you back onto the ice, determined to at least get you a little more comfortable with it.

You’re starting to get the hang of it, you think (finally), when suddenly, your blade catches on the ice and sends you flying. You end up landing hard on your left arm again, air knocked out of your lungs, head spinning. You’ve fallen many times before, but this is the most painful one by far.

“Are you okay?” You see him appear over you, looking concerned. He kneels on the ice beside you as you blink to try and clear your vision a little bit.

“Oh, god, that hurts.” Your head is pounding, and you don’t even try to sit up. You look around, brow furrowing. “Sorry, what were we doing? I don’t- you’re- you’re Jungkook, right?” You nod slowly to yourself, “yes, that’s right. You’re friends with Yugyeom, aren’t you? Why do you always wear the same thing?”

Jungkook looks a little stunned, and you can’t help but laugh at his expression. “Sorry, I was just messing with you. But, in all seriousness, this does hurt. Not my head, but my arm.”

“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts, but he helps you up anyway.

He takes your left arm in gentle hands, running his fingers over it. You flinch when he touches it, and he immediately apologizes.

“I think it might be broken,” he says, frowning. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize ice skating would be this dangerous.”

You laugh, “I don’t think it is, for the most part. This is just an exception. I’m a clumsy person.”

“Well, I guess we should go to the hospital... again. It seems to be our special place.” You reach out(with your good arm) and squeeze his hand gently.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll be fine!” He nods, still looking remorseful, and leads the way out of the rink.

When all's said and done, you do end up with a cast. Jungkook still looks miserable, sitting in the corner of the room, alternating between staring at you and at the floor. In short, he looks pitiful. Once the doctor leaves, you wave him over to where you’re still sitting on the examination table.

He examines the cast critically, brow furrowed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Jungkook, I’m fine. I’ve said that a million times now- when are you going to believe me?”

He shakes his head slowly, “I just feel bad that you got hurt because of me. I feel like every time you get hurt, I’m with you.”

“You clearly don’t know me very well. I’m a very clumsy person, Jeon Jungkook, you don’t have much to do with it.” The frown softens, but still doesn’t disappear, so you take his hand in yours. “Hey. Jungkook.”

“Yes?” He’s close enough for you to hear his breath, soft and quiet, like morning air.

“Even if it were your fault, I’d still want to be with you.”

“Really?” He looks a little more hopeful at that. You nod, with more conviction this time.

And then(because, really, what else did he expect?) you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, soft and just a little bit chapped. “Absolutely.”

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #kookie #fanfic #writing #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts fanfic #valerie #valerie's writing #claudia #claudia's writing #we work better together :)#got7 #yugyeom #he makes an appearance

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idealisticrealism · 7 years

Text

Blindspot 2x12 recap

(Aka the one where Roman gets to go on an outing, the show rights a bunch of wrongs, and Weller develops new fantasies regarding Jane and motorbikes)

So this is the first episode I’ve been able to/have chosen to watch live since seeing the pilot at Comic Con-- thanks to the triple miracles of live online streaming, a deserted office in a currently unused part of the hospital, and a rare patient-free afternoon-- and man am I so glad I did. Lbr I rode the high from this ep for the rest of the damn day (okay, week) lol.

Which, naturally, means that there is a ridiculous amount of flailing waiting below the cut. Enjoy.

So Weller seems to be regretting his boss-role rn as he is badgered by an assistant lol-- one named either Brianna or Rihanna (seriously Weller you need to enunciate more clearly sometimes), which is a fact that apparently either Weller briefly forgot, or Sully did, since there was just a fraction of a pause before he said her name haha. And okay Weller I know you are sad about the whole bye-bye baby thing (goddammit now I have Bay City Rollers in my head), but seriously, someone in your position should NOT be signing anything without reading it first! Like, who is this ‘new analyst’, who is being tested for drugs, who is getting security credentials for the deputies committee, and exactly what's in the departmental budget?? What if the ‘budget’ you just signed cuts all the funding to the Sandstorm taskforce? Or if any of the security passes you just approved are going to Sandstorm moles?? Dude. As a sidenote, though, I like Weller's signature, and it entertains me because its style is literally exactly the same as Sully's signature. Which is hardly surprising, obviously, but cute all the same. Man we really need them to get a new Assistant Director though-- Weller never seems happy behind a desk, as demonstrated by the fact he literally ran when he got the message from Patterson lol. The boy needs to be out in the field, needs to be running free with a gun in his hand and his wifey beside him, saving the world

Loolllll I love Zapata teasing Reade about his hookup last night. He tries to act all affronted and reminds her that the girl has a name, only for it to immediately backfire when she challenges him to tell her what it is because he doesn't know either. Oh, you really backed yourself right into that corner, buddy. And then in very sibling-esque fashion he's just like 'argh I don’t have a comeback to that so just leave me alone alright' lol. And omg speaking of siblings, Jane is proudly telling everyone how Roman solved the leopard tattoo, while Patterson mutters little corrections from the background, a tiny bit put out that Roman is getting all the credit for her discovery and analysis. Shhh, it's okay, baby. They all know you're the smartest one in the room, not to mention that you've cracked like 90% of the tattoos. Let Jane have her moment of being a doting big sister haha. But anyhow Patterson still has the kicker-- not only does the tattoo point to the biker gang (okay so we call them 'bikies' in Australia, so you have no idea how hard I have to concentrate to type ‘biker gang’ each time) but anyway it actually revolved around a government agent that was running guns over the border for them, and he was already caught just before the tattooing happened, which could be why Sandstorm scrapped the leopard tattoo. Jane is all for using the photo of the biker girl to help jog Roman's memory, whereas Nas (and her pet shrink) are against triggering any more memories on the belief that it will also trigger his 'antisocial behaviour'. Hey does anyone remember that scene in the movie iRobot, where Will Smith sneezes and apologises for being allergic to bullshit? I wanna put him in a room with Nas and her shrink and watch him dissolve into a marathon of constant sneezing fits every time either of them opens their mouth. But hey, maybe they're actually totally right, like remember how Jane's memory of shooting a nun made her go on a killing spree in every church she could find? Oh, wait...

But anyhow, thankfully Weller is seeing a bit more sense this week, and immediately backs up his wifey, leading he, Nas and Jane to stand in the next room and watch as the shrink prompts Roman with the photo. I have to say, using the motorbike sounds was a good move, and clearly it worked. I'm excited to see him having real memories of his adult life, especially ones that could give us more clues to Sandstorm’s plans. And in the memory, Kat's teasing concern about him driving over potholes definitely implies that he's transporting explosives. But then again, this is Sandstorm, and they collect explosives like birds collect shiny things, so it’s hardly a revelation. And ughhh Weller and Jane share a meaningful look (with Nas again forgotten in the background, my second-favourite way for her to be, the first being absent altogether) and then Roman looks to Jane, who gives him an approving smile and a nod and my baBY SmiLES baCK and ugh just look at this puppy. Look at him. He's adorable and we need to keep him, even if he used to bite people and chew everything and pee on the rug. We'll train him up and he will be a Good Boy, I swear.

So with this fresh intel, the team reconvenes in the meeting room, and tbh despite Weller being the one standing at the end of the table, Jane is totally the one running this show, and he's literally just watching her in rapt attention haha. And as she poses the theory that the tattoo was removed by Sandstorm because it might link too closely back to them, everyone actually listens, with not even a skeptical glance from Reade of a snarky comment from Zapata. Jane might not be entirely forgiven yet, but she's finally no longer a scapegoat, and I LOVE IT. And you know who has noticed this change too? Nas. She's definitely seeing the old team start to knit back together, and in particular the old partnership reforming between Weller and Jane, and she knows it doesn't bode well for her. Damn straight, lady. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. (Or, as you do with everything else, just pretend to and then lie about it). But anyway here comes the real kicker of the ep-- the biker gang is notorious for never snitching, which means they need someone on the inside, and I love how straightforward and 'in the box' the team's thinking can sometimes be, because the moment Jane suggests sending Roman in, they're all like "whaaaaaaa????" as if that option had never even had the possibility of occurring to them. Like yes, fair enough he's kinda a 'prisoner of war' at the moment, but he's also their only current choice, so...? But ugh, I love that even though Weller is taken aback by her suggestion, he lets her make her case, his eyes never leaving hers even for a second. (Be still my bruised little shipper heart.) And then they seemingly get the shrink to come in to give her opinion, and I like that Weller is now sitting down at the table rather than standing like before, as if putting them all on even ground. Everyone gets a chance to have input. And then ugh: "He's a terrorist"//"So was I". Wow, Jane, that's a big statement. Just look at my baby taking responsibility for what her past self has done, even if she is now a completely different person and would never do the things Remi did. And lil Patterson next to her raises the point that they didn't know that she was a terrorist, and I love that after she says this, she keeps her eyes locked with Jane's even as Nas is saying her piece (lbr Nas isn't worth her attention anyway) but ugh I just love how expressive that look is? Is she thinking about Borden, and how they never knew HE was a terrorist? Or is it a look of apology, like 'I'm sorry we considered you a terrorist for a while', or both, or...? Honestly I really want to see more of the relationship between these two, especially if it involves seeing Jane supporting Patterson in her grief/betrayal over Borden. But anyway Nas raises the point that they know nothing about Roman's past interactions with the gang, so they'd essentially be going in there blind, and the shrink chimes in that in that setting he might suddenly lash out and become violent. God, she sounds like a broken record. And then when Jane says she can keep him in line because of their relationship, the shrink insists (after spending literally like 15 mins total with him) that he is completely incapable of love or human connection and therefore Jane won't be able to handle him. Geeeezzzz, lady, if anyone with any psych training overheard you spouting this crap, you'd probably get deregistered. Psychology might not be an ‘exact’ science but that still doesn't mean you can just make up whatever shit you want!!! Ugh. But anyway, what's this???? My son has finally found both his common sense and his spine, and firmly states that they need to do whatever it takes to stop Phase 2, and that includes taking this chance on Roman. Which basically just translates to "I trust my wifey so now you all better as well". Nas looks understandably bummed at this, because clearly she's watching the tight leash she had on Weller fray and snap, and she knows she'll never reel him back in again. Whereas my precious Jane can barely believe her ears-- she's so used to all her ideas and suggestions being ignored or smacked down, and her feelings disregarded, but not anymore. All that's changing now that Weller's head has been freed from his ass, and I absolutely love the resigned looks from all the others like 'oh we're back to this then, the Weller and Jane show" lol (but for real hallelujah)

Nawww Roman, so desperate to get out but then asking uncertainly if she's sure that letting him out is actually a good idea. And ugh she's so supportive and encouraging and assures him that she trusts him when he's worried that he'll hurt people. See that concern for the well-being of others?? That alone literally DISQUALIFIES him for a diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Ugh. I literally want to find the biggest psych textbook I can find, open it to the page on APD, and then throw it at the shrink's face. But anyway omg-- this moment in the bullpen. I can’t. The team’s all right there; Patterson slowly pacing with an ‘I don't know if this is a good ideaaaa...’ expression on her face, Reade with his hand shoved in his pockets and a ‘This is totally a bad idea’ expression (and Zapata doing pretty much the same, except with arms crossed), and Nas standing off to the side fidgeting with her phone and looking vaguely guilty. Although lbr that's probably just her shadiness manifesting physically, so meh. But then there's freakin' Weller standing there in his nice suit looking like he's doing a practice run for when he's at the altar and Roman walks Jane down the aisle toward him. I literally cannot deal rn. And ugh then Jane gently guides Roman through the bullpen, reassuring him that though he may not have many supporters among the FBI right now, she will always support him. And lbr she knows what it's like to walk through this bullpen and have everyone eyeing you with dislike and distrust. But she was able to rise above it and earn her place back, and Roman will earn his. But aaaahhhhh Weller greets him by name and thanks (!!) him for helping them and ugh I'm really emotional about it. Though lbr he's gotta be on his best behaviour, I mean this is his future brother-in-law, after all. Patterson follows his polite lead, though is clearly uncomfortable. But I'm actually impressed with how the team rallies, putting aside their discomfort and getting down to business. (Gotta defeat those Huns). But come on, guys, don't give those looks when he mentions a gun. Literally anyone would be wanting to know if they're going to have any protection when walking in to a possible deathtrap. Of course, Jane smoothly handles the situation, throwing a brief look of gratitude at Weller as she leads Roman out to get some clothes. A look which Nas definitely doesn't miss, nor does she miss the way Weller himself watches the siblings walk away....

Speaking of this brother-sister team, damn are they looking both badass and fine as they walk into the bar. And ugh Jane is so supportive of him. Which is kinda the opposite of Remi, apparently, who is being pretty damn harsh to him in this memory while she unpacks a whole heap of C4. (Good thing New Roman knows that Jane was wiped too, and is nothing like his sister used to be!). But oh boy, this memory has just taught us that Roman and Kat were a lot more than strangers. Which is kinda sweet, but definitely not good for them right now. His "We have a problem" is so cute haha. And then Kat (who is stunning, by the way, good taste Roman) comes over and punches him in the face. And well, at least we know he doesn't immediately flip into violent mode when attacked? Also tbh he's actually doing a really good job at being out in the field, reading the situation and thinking on his feet just like Jane does. I feel so proud. And now they've managed to score a meeting with the big boss-- who we know is Bad and Dangerous bc he's beating the crap out of some guy the moment we meet him. Also Jane said earlier she'd have a gun on her but the dudes didn't say anything when they searched her-- did they just take it, or did she not have one? Idk I'm just curious. But ugh then my babies cleverly construct a story using just enough truth to be believable, giving an excuse for both his absence and any future 'unusual' behaviour. Then they broker a deal where if the bikers set up a sale and draw Shepherd out, the gang will get to keep both the money and the fancy explosives that Shepherd apparently wants. And ugh I'm so proud of my baby Roman, bluffing that he knows where to get the explosives and agreeing to the bikers coming along to steal it. My puppy is doing so well. And then just to remind us again how Scary this biker dude is, he shoots the unconscious form of the dude he's been beating. Better keep working on those poker faces, guys, because I saw the utter empathy from both of you just then ugh

Back at the lab, the team is chastising Roman for doing things the way he did, and while I'm kinda like ‘leave him alone guys he did his best’, I do appreciate that one of their main arguments is that he could have gotten Jane killed. Because they CARE. They don't want to see anything happen to her because she's one of them and I'm so emotional about it. Anyway Zapata raises a very good point, one that I've been waiting for someone to mention-- basically that Shepherd herself probably won't show for the sale anyway, but Weller points out that capturing any Sandstorm operative would be a huge help to them. I like that Roman is kind of excluded from that category, and I know it's pretty much only bc he has no memories of it, but still. And then Patterson makes it clear that the only way to get this military-grade explosive is to steal it, and Nas is all ‘meh so they'll steal it’ and walks out to start some shady dealings, and pretty much everyone stares after her like she's just grown another head. Are you really surprised, guys?? Nas doesn't exactly give a shit about doing things by the rules... rules other than her own, anyway. And then Patterson and Zapata are all 'we can't give real explosives to a biker gang and a terrorist group' but Weller knows Jane's right when she says they’ll test whatever they do get and won’t react well to fakes, so they need to use the real stuff.

Reade admits to Zapata about Freddy's ex and how both of them were feeling guilty, and as usual she immediately defends what he did and tries to convince him to let it go, bc she knows that if he’s not careful, he'll let his guilt grow into a self-destructiveness that could have huge consequences. And speaking of that kind of guilt, Patterson approaches Nas about wanting to be present for the Sandstorm trap, and her guilt over Borden and ughhhh my baby is hurting so much (damn you Borden!!!) but it's interesting how her words kind of describe the S1 Weller/Jane situation a tiny bit (Weller's feelings for Jane clouding his judgement, blinding him to reality, and vice versa) and apparently also describe Nas's experience at the NSA. So the Sandstorm mole in her department was her lover? Interesting. I wonder if the shrink worked with her there too, and that's how she got her injury? But anyway yaaaasss Patterson getting (rightfully) angry at Nas for being blind to Borden's betrayal bc she was too busy spying on the rest of them-- finally someone calls her on it! You go, Patterson.

Oooooh I am so here for Weller calling Jane aside, his hand lingering unnecessarily at her back as he draws her away from Roman, the sad-hearteyes fixed on her as he tells her to be careful, not to let her guard down around Roman. And then ugh "I know you want Roman to be something different, but you have to treat him like any dangerous asset, the same way I treated you when I found out who you were". Ugh, I love the implication here that he didn't really want to treat her like he did, but treated her how he felt he had to. (After she came back, I mean. That night he arrested her he wasn't really thinking through his actions at all). And then ugh she calls him Kurt and insists that Roman wouldn't hurt her and that he is capable of love and I love how balanced their exchanges are now? They're totally on the same level, no bitterness or pain between them. Just two people who know each other as well as they know themselves. And aaahhh Weller is honest about his concerns that Roman is manipulating her and manipulated Kat, too, the way ‘she manipulated Jeffrey Cantor’, aka using his feelings for her to get what she wanted. I LOVE that he knows that wasn't the case with him. Everything between them was real, he knows that now. But ugh I love the look Roman throws at Weller as he and Jane get in the elevator. Lbr, he knows Weller is in love with her-- he doesn't need his memories to know that, not when it’s written all over Weller’s face.

Nawww Roman telling the bikers the plan and answering all their questions so confidently and ugh I am so proud of my lil puppy. Also lol I love the fact that Mr Scary Biker Man is scared of Shepherd. And then aaahhh they all head off and Kat rides with Roman, and "How come you never came back for me?"//"You ever came looking". Damn, boy, you're smooth! Also uh oh she just gave him a gun, hope he won't need to use it... but duuuuude this whole bike-to-truck thing is crazy! How did he know he'd even be able to do that??? I can't believe he didn't lose his balance and splat on the road lol. And then omg the drivers are Weller and Reade????? Oh geeeezzzzz this can't go well. Jane doesn't look surprised at all to see them, though, so I'm guessing it was part of the plan? And so the bikers now have the explosives, but in a shocking-- lbr not all that shocking-- twist, Roman now has to kill Weller and Reade. Sigh guys, are you really telling me you didn't think this miiiight happen if you were witnesses to this whole thing? The two of them look shocked, but that just might be their acting (nice work boys) whereas Jane's pokerface definitely slips into genuine fear for them both, before she quickly covers and tries to talk the bikers out of it without making it too obvious that she's trying to protect them. But my puppy Roman knows that if he doesn't kill them, the bikers will kill all four of them, so he takes a chance, the only one that will ensure his sister survives and hopefully that he and Weller and Reade do as well. I'd like to think that he noticed their puffy-looking jackets and realised that they had vests on underneath, but maybe it was just a solid guess. And ugh I just want to hug my baby Jane, because while she doesn't make a sound I can practically see the anguished scream echoing behind her eyes as the two of them fall to the ground. In that moment, she thinks she's lost both the man she loves and a man who's like family to her, plus she thinks that it's her fault and that she was wrong about Roman, and is now still in danger of losing her own life, and on top of that, will be shunned by the rest of her FBI family. Basically, if that moment had been real, Jane would have literally just lost everything. Ugh, can we give her a hug yet? She's still staring at Weller's body when Roman grabs her and pulls her away, and I bet he didn't miss the way she flinched when he touched her. Ugh my baby, it's all okay, he would never hurt your family unless he had no choice, he's just doing what he has to do to protect you! Ngl tho, when he first shot them I was like WHAT!?!?? and then my immediate thought was ‘maybe blanks??’ and then I was like wait no that's not possible bc it was a real gun and then honestly my brain was still freaking out by the time they started picking themselves off the floor and then I was finally like ohhhh rigggghhttt, vests exist haha. I love Reade's "He knew we were wearing vests, right??" Yeah just go with that, Reade, because that's probably the more comforting option. Oooooohh but now Jane is super pissed at Roman, but she can't deny the sense in his words when he said that it was better to risk shooting them in the vest than hesitating too long and having all four of them get shot in the head. Apparently their little ruse worked, too, because the bikers have set up a meeting with Shepherd for later that night. Kat pulls Roman away for a second, and ugh he's sweet with her and honestly even though I'm super hopeful (aka trash) for Roman/Zapata, I'm really kinda shipping these two rn. Like they clearly really cared about each other?? I love seeing more Roman backstory. I wonder what happened that morning that he was supposed to come meet her? Did Remi stop him, or Shepherd?

They’re back at the FBI now and tbh I’m bummed that we didn’t get to see the scene where Jane and Roman arrive and see Weller and Reade alive and (mostly) unharmed. Is someone gonna fic it, or?? (Please don’t make me do it lol). But anyway aww Jane takes Roman back to his cell, and she knows that he remembered something, and oohhh there's a little bit of tension between them bc he's still got the memory of Remi's treatment of him in his head, plus he feels like the team is still viewing him as the enemy. "You still trust me, right?" Ugh. I really hope he believes that she's being honest when she says yes...

Lol Weller sitting at his desk in a shirt with two bulletholes in it. And ugh Jane watches him through the glass for a second and it's clear she's so guilty that he got hurt and worried that he'll be angry at her or Roman for it and ughhh she's so apologetic as she comes in and then ugh "I'm so thankful that you’re both okay-- when he shot you, I thought--" SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. SHE THOUGHT SHE'D JUST LOST THE MAN SHE LOVES. HELP ME. But thankfully he instantly assures her that Roman made the right call, and that must also be a relief, knowing that her brother wasn't going to face a lynchmob for kinda gambling with their lives. But ugh then the ever-perceptive Jane (who also is just very attuned to Weller, lbr) asks if something else is going on, bc she can tell there's something upsetting him. And for a moment he brushes it off just like he would have earlier this season, and in that time she's learned to obey the dismissal when it's given, so she’s about to leave but then (hallelujah) Weller gives in and confides in her like he used to, admitting that Allie's moving to Colorado. And ughhhh you can see the instant panic and distress in Jane's eyes as she stumbles through asking him whether he's going too, because no no no no please no-- and then ugh the way she lets out a tiny relieved breath when he says he's staying. She was seriously terrified for a second there that he was going to leave and she'd never see him again. And then as he admits that his place sudenly feels really empty now that there's not gonna be a baby in it, the Jane hearteyes come out, and ugh honestly I think I love them even more than the Weller hearteyes. They're very different, more of a 'I know you will never be mine but I love you with everything that I am and I always will and I would sell my soul in a heartbeat if it meant you would be happy'. UGHHHH SHE JUST LOVES HIM SO MUCH. SO FREAKIN MUUUUUCHHHHH. And she's halfway through saying something sweet and genuine to comfort him and suddenly Zapata's interrupting (what, were Patterson and Nas too busy to perform their usual interrupting duties???) and so now the Feels wil have to wait bc the sting is onnn

Is it just me or is Weller looking very tense?? You know, almost like the woman he loves is walking straight into a potentially deadly situation?? Oh wait... But lol lbr he'd be in there in a heartbeat if there was any sign of anything going wrong. You can bet that he placed himself and Reade-- aka the two big tough men-- at the position closest to be able to get in there and provide help quickly, while Nas and Zapata are sentries around the back or whatever. I'm pleased that there has been very little Nas/Weller teaming up lately, and this time there's not even the potential explanation of Zapata and Reade avoiding each other to account for this split, bc they're all cool now. Maybe it’s because the use that Weller and Nas had for each other has passed... But anyway oh boy, this deserted bar is not a good sign for the amnesiac siblings. And Kat looks piiiissed, even more so when she raises a gun. Ooooh boy the jig really is up. Kat knows Roman's off, apparently because he didn't want to shoot the guys earlier, and because he held her hand. Idk about you, lady, but that kinda seems like an improvement overall?? And Jane agrees: "He's different now, ever since he got shot. He's better." Ugh but that little look Roman gives her when she says it-- I mean, it's kind of praise but also not? Like a 'yay she likes who I am but wow how little did she think of me before?' kinda thing? And then Roman spills the beans about the FBI while Jane is there beside him like 'oh shit', and meanwhile outside Nas is saying they need to go in now-- but Weller (rightly) waves her off without even a moment's pause because "Jane knows what she's doing". Hell yeah, look at all that beautiful support from hubby. And lol devil lady don't think I didn't see that expression on your face. Your witchy words used to have power over Weller, but not anymore. Jane is his talisman, and his love for her not only makes him better in every way, it makes him immune to you as well. To quote King Theoden: You have no power here! lol. But anyway as we're watching the inexorable crumbling of one pairing (I refuse to say 'ship' in regards to them bc imo they don’t qualify) we’re watching another one teeter on the edge-- Roman is all puppy-eyed and spouting ‘I love yous’ and Kat is wavering in her determination to kill them, and Jane is basically in the background trying to be as unobtrusive as possible bc she knows even one wrong look could get them both shot and god I hope she’s picturing Weller in that moment and hoping that she’ll one day get to tell him how she feels and then the scene switches to the other room and BAM there's the gunshots and lol I love all the biker dudes just chillin' and sipping their beer. And then aaaaaah Kat comes out and turns on her own gang for Roman and ughhhhhh I feel like this means things are about to go really badly for her. Ugh, the poor girl. Seems like this show really has a theme about suffering for the ones we love. Anyway lol at the mayhem twins being sprawled over various bits of furniture, like good work guys you're so convincing haha. And then omg they're fighting the guys (lucky only two came in) and I don't think I appreciated this the first time round (literally how do you people deal with watching live?? And only once?? I'm constantly pausing and rewinding when I watch) but anyway Jane pulls a flag off the wall and then uses it as a weapon against her opponent??? Like damn, that was badass. And then Kat literally kills a guy that she's probably known for years to prevent him from going in to join the fight??? Dude. Of course Weller sees the gunfire from outside and is immediately into his MUST SAVE WIFEY mode. Have to say though, said wifey is doing just fine at taking care of herself-- and of her brother-- given that she literally just smashed a chair over a guy to protect an incapacitated Roman. PROTECTIVE SIBLINGS UGHHHHH. But nooooo Kat's been shot (told you she would suffer for loooovee) and Roman doesn’t even notice the presence of the final shooter as he runs to her side-- but thankfully bro-in-law is not about to let anything happen to his wifey's favourite brother, and bursts in and takes the guy out before he can shoot Roman. Jane's in the room seconds later, locking eyes with hubby over the barrels of their guns (well, at least they've got protection for all that intense eye-sexing) and ugh my baby Roman is reassuring Kat and idc if he feels like a fraud, I'm glad she died believing he loved her. And tbh I don't think he was as unaffected as his abrupt turnaround made him seem. I like that he immediately hands off his gun to Weller, and Weller just accepts his determination to get the job done and rolls with it while Jane is still mentally (or rather, emotionally) catching up. Ugh, this trio is going to be the death of me, I just know it.

As they race to the meet point, the invaluable Patterson gives Weller the lowdown while Jane stares at Roman, and then as soon as there's a quiet moment, she checks if he's okay-- with Weller intently listening in. Honestly no one can see how much Jane cares about Roman without instantly becoming a little bit more smitten with her, so it must wreak havoc on Weller’s already Jane-owned heart lol. Roman then mentions his need to ask Shepherd why she erased his memory, leading to some intense Jeller eye contact in the rear-view. I love that it's not like a guilty glance between co-conspirators; it's more her saying 'I hate that I did this thing and I can't get through it without your support' and him being like 'I know you did this thing because I asked you to and I promise I won't let you carry the weight alone'. Literally no one can convince me it was otherwise lol. Anyway the whole FBI team arrives at the meet point-- SWAT guys and all-- but do we all notice who is front and center, making the calls? Weller... and Jane. Zapata, Reade, and Nas are all a couple of steps back, and the Mere Mortals are even further behind them. And then when everyone fans out, Nas is with Jeller, but still stuck behind as they move together, side by side. As they flank the door, they realise simultaneously that it hasn't been opened in years, and then-- dun dun dun-- they discover that they're too late and Sandstorm has already been and gone, taking the explosive and leaving all the dead bikers. If this ain’t a ‘well, shit’ moment, idk what is lol

Back at the lab, the team is not having a happy time, but I am very much enjoying watching frustrated Weller in his bullet-riddled shirt (dear god please keep the shirt for posterity reasons. Bring it out on holidays/family occasions when you and Roman are arguing about which football team is better or something and be all like "Remember when you shot me?? You don't get to have an opinion!" lol) I mean idk, I'm just really attached to this shirt. I'm sentimental about things like that... bullet riddled shirts, Jane-sized duffelbags, etc... But anyway, damn, Jane is leaning against some pillar thing and even in her dejected state she still looks damn good. Though I do prefer her more natural look, she has really been rocking the dark lipstick and all-black/leather outfit. Damn. But anyhow now the team is debating how Sandstorm could be staying one step ahead of them, and lol literally everyone in the team gets to have input (Patterson's being particularly sad, about how she sweeps for bugs every morning and that maybe there's another mole in the NYO) and then it finally gets to Nas' turn and Weller just totally cuts her off before she even gets three words out. Heheheh that's right, Lady Wormtongue doesn't deserve to have an opinion. And then when she eventually gets to speak-- telling them all that they'll get the explosives back and somehow find Sandstorm, she gets nothing but chilly silence haha. Yaaaassss team. FREEZE HER OUT. DO IT.

Oooooh Mr Grumpy has headed to his office for some Serious Brooding Time (there's even teeth-gnashing and furniture-abusing involved) and we all cross our fingers, hoping for Jane to appear and soothe him as only she can... aaaand instead Nas appears. Boooooo. We’re treated to some insincere apologies and a flimsy explanation of them clouding each others' judgement, and lol I love that she thinks he used the HMX as bait bc she asked him to. Oh, honey, I thought you were supposed to be perceptive??? Literally everyone could see he did that for Jane, just as he let Roman out in the field for Jane. He's back on Jane's side now, and let’s be real now, you know it. Which means you know that being in a relationship* (*term used very lightly) with him is no longer of use to you, because it is no longer an effective means of controlling him. Don't even try to deny that you created this entanglement solely to prevent him getting re-involved with Jane (and also probably to get some good sex out of the deal, lbr here) and now that it is completely failing in its original purpose, you're cutting ties. That's just smart resources management, and you’re nothing if not methodical. But oh man I’m getting a good chuckle out of the line "we have feelings for each other, of course we do". Mmmmm-hmmm. That was so convincing. But loooollll Weller's like 'So that's it then' and literally does nothing to fight it, doesn't offer up any argument, actually almost looks pleased?? Lbr I would have rathered Weller be the one to break things off but this way works for me just fine, bc it's clear that he broke things off emotionally (if they ever even existed emotionally) quite some time ago...

Aaaaand speaking of nonsensical and emotionless pairings, Reade-- who just happens to have his damn fine chest on display at this moment-- has an unexpected visitor. Freddy's ex (do we have a name for her yet? Calling her Freddy's ex makes me uncomfortable) comes in, while valiantly keeping her eyes up top. Well, mostly. Dw girl, no one is perfect. But anyhow as she cries about being afraid Freddy is dead and having contributed to it, Reade tells half-truths and tries to assuage his own guilt by reassuring her. Following which she becomes VERY concerned with the state of his chest, fussing over bruises that tbh could just be very determined hickeys. But then she touches the ~bare chest~ and seals the Coital Prophecy-- you know, the one where two characters (generally) of opposite genders, regardless of actual connection to one another, become powerless to resist getting it on after one of them touches the other in an area usually covered by clothes? But well, there's just no going back now, because he basically told her ‘you're not a nuisance’ and we all know that's actually code for ‘why aren't we already naked’. But for real dude, I hope you washed your sheets after last night's romp with bar girl... and don't forget that little talk we had about protection! Safety first!!! (please I can’t handle any more baby drama)

Thankfully the next scene is already 50000000x more enjoyable, and so far all it involves is Jane standing in a doorway. I am very supportive of this, and of literally anything she does. And then ugh she goes and joins Roman on the floor, and he instantly admits that he lied to Kat about being in love with her, and seems dejected at the thought that he might never have really felt anything for her and asks what's wrong with him. Oh, honey. A person without empathy or emotions would never even think to ask those questions in the first place, or be worried about the answers. And Jane, speaking from experience, tells him that feelings can't just appear like memories; they have to develop. And may I just send a big kudos to whichever brilliant person in the sound-editing department put a tiny snippet of the Jeller theme in there at that moment?? Bless you, you subtle geniuses. This conversation also says a lot about her relationship with the team vs her 'relationship' with Oscar (which I still believe was devoid of any feelings other than Jane needing to get comfort from SOMEWHERE while also needing to get info out of Oscar. Two birds, one stone, so they say). But oh man am I so relieved that Roman actually tells her that Remi was the reason he and Kat were separated, because it gives her a chance to show that she's not like Remi-- she doesn't want the same things for him that Remi did, and she is constantly trying to make up for the things that Remi is responsible for. Much like he will have to make up for what Old Roman did. And then ughhhhh she tells him not to stay fixated on who he was, but to try to embrace who he is now-- and ugh it literally seems like she's telling him what she wishes she could go back and tell herself the night she met Oscar. Chasing the past nearly cost her her future, and now that she's getting another chance at it, she's not going to let anything stop her. And ugh she promises to get him out and tells him she really believes he loved Kat and ughhh my babies I love you both so much

Damn, dark-side Borden is still pressing my buttons. I can’t help it! But anyway I’m intrigued by this increasing screen-time for this Parker guy-- who tells Borden he's there to see this country burn, aka just basically regurgitating Sandstorm's tagline-- it makes me wonder if he's actually not all he seems? Maybe he has managed to infiltrate Sandstorm (anyone notice that their name shortens to SS??) in a way Jane wasn't able to, and is secretly working against them. Either way, I'm intrigued to see what his future role will be. I'm also appreciative that he and Borden are filling in the scenes that would otherwise require Shepherd in them. Any ep that I don’t have to look at her face is a good one imo

AaaaaaaahhhhhHHHHH. I'd already seen the spoiler pics before watching this ep; had already been waiting all episode for Jane to show up at Weller's door. But for a moment when he opens it, I’m still struggling to believe it’s really happening. Jeller. Happily hanging out, alone, after work hours. Oh how I have missed this dynamic. But lbr even before we see Jane's face, we know it's her at the door, because his eyes go from surprise to HEARTS HEARTS HEARTS in like 0.00001 of a second lol. And Jane's leaning there, looking all casual, acting like her heart isn't racing and stomach isn't swirling with butterflies over the fact that it's been a long time since they had this kind of interaction and she can't be sure she's allowed to step into this territory (both figurative and literal) again and ugh just think how much guts it would have to take to reach out like this when he'd rejected her or frozen her out so many times since she'd been back?? But lbr she's always been pretty in tune with this thing between then and she can tell, now, that it's different again, that it's back to how it used to be. Or maybe even better than it was then, because there's no 'Taylor' in her that's making the focus of his affections unclear. And of course, the Assistant Director of the Jane Fanclub (the director being me, obviously) would never dream of turning her away, not anymore or ever again, and he's showering her with those heart eyes while she shyly finishes her sentence from their conversation hours ago-- because she's precious and adorable and wants to support him and reassure him ughhhh-- and then ugh in literally one of the bravest acts we've seen her do (and lbr ‘Brave’ is practically Jane's middle name) she brings him his favourite beers-- which she would have OBVIOUSLY have had to go out and buy for THIS VERY SPECIFIC PURPOSE, since it's not like New Yorkers have Pennsylvanian beer just lying around-- and ughhhh this is the best olive branch (slash date-invitation??) ever and oh man I seriously need to know how long she's had those beers and how long she's been wanting to do this and aaaaahhhhh Weller must be like 'thank GOD that foolishness with Nas is over' (I know we are) and ughhh he invites her right in and omg they're finally getting to have those 'drinks' they owed each other (technically didn't he owe her? Like you said last season, you’re racking up the debt, buddy). But aaahhhhh someone save me bc they both look so HAPPY and relaxed but also a little excited and Jane's hearteyes are killing me because legit I have never seen anyone be such a literal manifestation of 'to gaze adoringly'?? I feel like she's been suppressing these heart eyes as best she could during this last two weeks since she got back from Sandstorm-- since Weller realised what a jackass he'd been and started showing her that he really does care about her-- and she just can't hold them back anymore and ugh it's so beautiful. And then ugh my big silly baby totally overplays his 'bullet wounds' (too bad he didn't have his shirt unbuttoned like Reade, eh??) leading to some sweet little flirty banter and ughhhhhh now it's his turn to gaze adoringly as she asks him to give Roman a window or let him go for a walk or something, and lbr if he could, he would do literally anything she asked just because he wants to make her happyyyyyy. I'm so glad our big stupid son finally made it back to this point. And ughhh I am so upset at these two idiots and the way they're smiling at each other all goofily while they drink their dumb beer and then OMG SHE SEES THE FILES THAT SANDSTORM HAS ON WELLER. FINALLY. I think we've literally all been yelling "WHY AREN'T YOU SHOWING THIS SHIT TO JANE?????" ever since he found out about its existence. And then they move over to the table together and she gets adorably excited to see his yearbook thing (this literally feels like looking at your boyfriend's baby photos lol) and within two seconds she has found him. Because of course she has, she's been seeing that face in both her waking life and dreams ever since she came out of the bag (and apparently long before that, in her previous life), so of course she'd know him anywhere. He’s her person. And ugh he jokes that he could have gone pro with ball and she actually giggles and then gazes up at him as he talks about the game, the heart eyes so intense that she's practically glowing with it (you know that fuzzy glow around the sun on really hot days? Yeah, picture that) and then she looks back down at the page and BAM. Shepherd is in the crowd. And Weller REMEMBERS her. And just like that, the connection between these two has given them a HUGE break in their fight against Sandstorm. (Which lbr we all knew was going to happen and was exactly why the writers never had Jane look at this stuff before now.) Also don't even get me started on the fact that he and Jane achieved together in moments what he and Nas hadn't been able to do in weeks. Symbolism, much???????

But anyway that's pretty much all the rambling I have for today because all the rest is just incoherent screaming about having my show and beloved characters back lol so see you next time for more Jeller perfection aaaahhhhhh

#Blindspot #Jeller #Blindspot recap #this episode!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I am overwhelmed

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