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bxttxrflybxddie · 4 years

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Hate to bother you once again, but...Jeantonio florist and coffee shop barista!AU? Idk, it suits them :) -Bela

|Florist! Barista! Jeantonio Hcs|

a/n: awww so cutee! love these two sm. this was updated july 12th!!

pairing: jeantonio (jean-paul "le chévre" x antonio "el topo")

warnings: mention of a mind wipe, angst, poor little meow meows :( THEY ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE

post type: hc's + written dialogue

"très stupide..." jean-paul grumbles through is thick accent.

"shut up. you know why we need to do this." paper star hissed at him.

he did know. vile is using a coffee shop as a front, and they have been for a while now.

but its been "under redesign" for a year or so and the locals have been getting suspicious.

so to keep the locals at bay, vile instructed le chevre and paperstar to be 'baristas' inbetween heists

jean-paul has never been so humiliated.

but the aesthetic of the small 'cafe' really helped to distract him.

distract his mind from thoughts of his beloved.

only 6 months ago antonio was captured and interrogated by those nosey blue-coats

the short gentleman didnt say a word, luckily (for vile AND him)

but that didnt stop the agents from beating the man to a pulp

sheena was the one to save antonio from the near-death experience that he had to endure

despite so much loss, jean-paul will always be thankful to the american for that day

without the blonde, his beloved would've been gone forever

in this very moment though, the frenchman is bored

throwing ice and liquid into cups is only entertaining for so long

that is, until someone opens the front doors

the stranger reeked of earth and there was a smudge of dirt on his cheek too

but the newcomer wasnt any forgettable stranger, was he?

jean-paul is of course startled

he pauses and admires how his technically ex? boyfriend looks in front of him

what a bad moment to be pouring coffee

the cup overfills and spills all over the floor and his hand

paperstar is giggling and calling him an idiot in the background

the 'stranger' stiffiles a laugh as well, a look of pity drowning in his handsome facial features

"hello?" antonio asks.

"uh-yes! welcome to The Coffee Cup," he says a lil flabbergasted

hes speaking to jean with that gentle voice that the frenchy never thought he'd ever hear again

"how may i help your order?"

stupide! you tripped on your words!!

the short man grins; ignoring the mistake to save any embarrassment for jean-paul's sake and begins to order

"one medium vanilla latte, please"

"of course. name?" jean-paul asks.

he knows the answer, but a small part of him wants the man in front of him to answer it. clear, undeniable proof that what he's seeing isn't a mirage nor a dream created by the extra amount of labor induced stress he's had to endure. all by himself. without the man in-front of him for half a year.

"antonio."

he pays and drinks his coffee while scrolling through something on his phone

and there is so. much. tension. it's all one sided.

"is that-"

"oui."

after that day, antonio begins to become a regular

and he always smells the same. it's different from how it smelled while working for vile, but it makes mr. frenchman swoon all the same

like a clean campsite thats in paradise

and he always has a patch of dirt on one of his cheeks

"i have to ask," jean-paul says one day

"whats with the.." he then motions to the cheek

antonio is confused for a second before realizing what the person in front of him is asking

"oh!" he starts to rub it off

"i work at the flower shop a few streets away" he admits through a smile

"you should come by! it's uh..." he pauses. trying to find any excuse for the barista who's probably not into nature to visit.

"very pretty!"

jean-paul nods his head in understanding, his eyes wide at the offer that was graciously given to him. a chance to start again.

antonio did always say he loved big, blossomed, colorful plants. his amour being a florist makes sense

after agreeing to swing by on his 'day off', the two men begin to make small talk

jean-paul learns about antonios 'coma' and how he's transitioning into this world that he feels new to

and though it hurts him, this new world is much better for his amour

so jean-paul is grateful that antonio doesnt have to steal; to kill to live anymore— and even though antonio doesnt remember the beautiful moments they shared

hopefully now jean-paul will be remembered as the nice barista

#carmen sandeigo 2019 #carmen sandeigo netflix #headcannons #requests #jeantonio #bela #coffee shop au #florist au #THESE TOOK RLLY LONG #IM FINALLYYY OUT OF SCHOOL SO ILL HAVE MORE TIME TO WORK ON HCS I PROMISE #I HOPE U ENJOY!!#le chevre #el topo #le chevre x el topo #jean-paul x antonio

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sunsetsover · 4 years

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underrated parts from last night:

the entire ben and bobby scene :-( i love them sm :-(

the absolute BANTER of them being like ‘what do u fancy?’ ’do u have to ask?’ and ben leaning into callum’s space so he can kiss him and then being like ‘lets go shag in an empty coffin 🤪’ and callum’s disapproving tut like he’s disgusted but not really disgusted and ben looking at callum like he hung the sun in the sky :-(

jay and lola’s little faces when ben was like ‘this better be worth it’

the absolute devastating softness of ben’s voice when he says ‘pam’ :-(

callum’s face when he realized that that was pam. like it was immediately obvious that he not only felt very out of place, but he knew that however this situation went and whatever ben did or didn’t tell her, it was going to be difficult. that it was going to be hard for ben, and depending on what was said, it was going to be hard for pam too. like you could just tell from the look on his face when ben was hugging pam that he knew straight away that this was not going to be easy, which is very telling of how well knows ben - he understands how much paul still means to ben, how much pam and les mean to ben, and how much what happened still affects him. and callum probably knew it was going to be hard on him too, bc i think the possibility of ben lying abt who callum was/their relationship was probably one of the first things that came to mind.

ben’s face when callum introduced himself to pam (esp that first second where he suddenly remembers that oh yeah, callum’s here too) because you can tell that ben’s just had the exact same realization that callum had, except he’s the one who’s now got to decide what to say, what to tell pam, and how to navigate this incredibly delicate situation with the least amount of upset.

CALLUM LOOKING ALL HAPPY THINKING BEN HAD TOLD PAM ALL ABOUT HIM FOLLOWED BY THE DEVASTATION OF HIM REALIZING THAT IT HAD JUST BEEN JAY. THE SAD LITTLE LAUGH AND SHAKE OF HIS HEAD AS IF HE WAS INTERNALLY GOING ‘OF COURSE IT WAS JAY, OF COURSE BEN HASN’T TOLD HER ABOUT YOU, DON’T BE SO STUPID’ THAT KILLED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING

the fact that ben hesitated and looked at callum when pam asked how they knew each other. like he really considered telling her the truth and being honest but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it :-( and then his immediate change in body language when he tells her they’re just mates, like his excessive nodding and awkwardly clearing his throat and running away to the bar - he was so obviously uncomfortable. he KNEW saying that was going to upset callum and clearly immediately felt bad but what else could he do? what else could he have said? he didn’t feel like he could tell pam the truth. he was between a rock and a hard place.

jay and lola’s shared ‘ben’s being a dumbass again’ look

THE FACT THAT CALLUM STAYED INSTEAD OF LEAVING LIKE I REALIZE IT WAS PROBABLY JUST FOR PLOT SO THEY COULD ARGUE LATER IN THE EP BUT IN MY HEAD HE STAYED BECAUSE HE WANTED BEN TO KNOW IT WAS OK THAT HE LIED ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THAT HE WASN’T MAD :-(

ben and pam just sitting there holding hands while they talked bitch i’m CRYING

pam including callum in the conversation!! like she must have realized he was sitting there awkward and quiet bc obviously everyone there had history but him and made sure to include him :-(

the way ben looked at callum when pam brought up whitney. like it was SO obvious he wanted to say something or do something; that he wanted to reach out and comfort callum, support him, reassure him. because like... he didn’t know whether callum was gonna come out to pam or not, and ben knows that it doesn’t matter that he was in a safe environment surrounded by loved ones, that’s still a difficult thing to do! and even if he didn’t (which he didn’t, probably more for ben’s sake than his own tbh which is a whole nother can of worms) ben knows that his break up with whitney is still a difficult and raw thing for callum to talk about. like all of that on top of this incredibly awkward situation they were in and the fact that that callum was probably already upset like??? ben’s face in that moment said SO much

lola being the one to tell pam callum and whit aren’t together anymore so callum didn’t have to.... i love one (1) friendship

callum’s absolute lack of offence abt pam bringing whitney up.... like he’s literally an angel

pam saying ‘i’m sure you’re gonna find somebody else’ as opposed to saying ‘i’m sure you’ll find another woman’ or smth 😔✊🏻

callum and ben sneaking looks at each other when pam said ‘there’s a lid for every pot :-( ben’s his lid :-(

(plus ben catching himself looking at callum and forcing himself to look away and schooling his expression back into something more neutral like please)

lola and jay absentmindedly linking hands bitch that GOT me

jay repeatedly glancing at ben and callum when they were at the bar together like!!! he was worried about them!!

pam just generally being a nan and being like U HAVE TO COME VISIT i love her can she stay forever :-(

lola’s quiet support of jay when pam was asking him abt terry’s funeral :-( i love them so mf much

not underrated but callum understanding why ben didn’t tell pam about them and instead being more upset about the fact that ben had ignored him the whole time like :-( literally the kindest most understanding angel

who is no longer afraid to tell ppl when he’s upset and hurt and why! i love that growth!

the absolute domesticity of them talking abt callum struggling w money and the fact that callum didn’t seem to be that embarrassed and was honest abt the situation he’s in and ben not judging him at all like ! but the whole thing was still really tense and dramatic anyway bc of what they were arguing abt before lmao

pam watching the whole thing in the background like.... she Knows

lola trying to distract pam bc ben and callum are just straight up having a domestic at the bar and not being subtle at ALL and pam is just. Watching. and poor lola has to at least TRY to cover their dumbasses (+ pam having none of it and being like hang on i’m trying earwig here kddslkflskf)

how sad ben’s little ‘don’t be like that’ was despite him obviously trying to seem annoyed lmao :-( and the fact that he immediately jumped up and didn’t want callum to leave like he really hadn’t wanted to upset callum and he didn’t want him thinking he didn’t care but poor ben just didn’t know what to do and who to please and how to behave :-(

how tired callum must have been to just be like ‘just forget it’ and not only leave, be leave without saying goodbye to anyone like :-(

BEN’S SAD LITTLE FACE AS CALLUM WALKED AWAY LIKE SCREENSHOTS DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE AND I DON’T THINK ANYONE’S GIFFED IT BUT IT’S FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

pam watching the entire interaction like 👀

ben’s annoyed sigh at the end like he’s just !! annoyed but he’s annoyed at himself for upsetting callum and fucking up this entire situation like he’s in such an awkward and difficult position and he probably feels like he can’t do right for doing wrong and no matter what he said or did someone was gonna get upset and like :-( just wanna hug him tbh

anyways i cannot wait for tonights ep

thank u for ur time 💖💖

#ballum #eastenders #jay x lola #lola x jay #idk what their tag is sorry :-(#anyways i love my family #i cant wait to see callum talk to mick and ben talk to pam like ! im excited #*

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tiredbiostudent · 4 years

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Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers, don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

#i am. sorry.#also me making this realizing how intensely my music taste is based off tv shows. ok one tv show fsdhsdfjfdshkjfd #asks #long post #music

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lets-dude-stuff-blog · 5 years

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KPOP GROUPS WE LOVE!

HEEEEEYYY HOOOMAAANSSS!!!! DUUUDDDEEEZZZZ! IZ YA DUDE AGAAAAIIINNN BO, KING AND PAAAUUUL! TODAY WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT KPOP GROUUUUPSSS! YEEEEEYYY!!!! WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT PAUL IS AN AVID KPOP GROUP LOVEER?!?!?! LIEK WOOOWW! MEEEE TOOO!! BUT KING IS NOT XD

SO HERE ARE TOP 10 KPOP GROUPS (and our bias) THAT ME AND PAUL LOOVES! <3

1 TWICE

Who doesn’t love TWICE?!?! TWICE is a kpop girl group of JYP Entertainment. They debuted on the year 2015 and they’re so famous because of their songs that was a hit! And also their personalities <3 there are 9 group members who are: Im Na Yeon (Nayeon), Yoo Jeong Yeon (Jeongyeon), Hirai Momo (Momo), Minatozaki Sana (Sana), Park Ji Soo (Jihyo), Myoui Mina (Mina), Kim Dahyun (Dahyun), Son Chae Young (Chaeyoung) and Chou Tzu-yu (Tzuyu). Their fandom name is ONCE and their leader is Jihyo. Me and Paul loves this group because of their songs and personalities <3 My bias here is TZUYU! <3 because she’s the tall maknae of the group! Meaning, she’s the youngest and tallest in the group! LIKE ME! (She’s 19 years old. The oldest is Nayeon who is 23 years old) She’s cute, sweet, kind, clumsy has a very perfect posture! (Like me! But not the perfect posture XD) Paul on the other hand, his bias is Sana cuz she’s cute, beautiful. kind and clumsy XD well I think all of them are cute sweet, kind and has their clumsy or perfect posture style :)

2 BTS

BANGTAN BOYS(BTS)! BTS is a kpop boy group of Big Hit Entertainment. They debuted on the 2013 and like all kpop groups, they are famous for their songs that was a hit and their personalities. There are 9 members in this group who are: Kim Seok-jin (Jin), Min Yoongi (Suga), Jung Hoseok (J-Hope), Kim Namjoon (RM, RapMon, Rap Monster), Park Jimin (Jimin), Kim Taehyung (V) and Jeon Jungkook (Jungkook). Their fandom name is ARMY and their leader is RM. "BTS has experienced a lot of firsts.It was one of the first K-pop acts to perform at the American Music Awards in November 2017. The group also made history as the first in the genre to take home an award at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards. Just last week, BTS became the first Korean band to perform live at the 2018 Billboard Music Awards.” (Allyson Chiu. May 29, 2018. The Washinton Post). I discovered BTS because of mah die hard Army friend XD then Paul discovered BTS because of thier popularity and because of it, we always watch them on Youtube T^T (we watch all of te kpop groups that are mentioned here in youtube becuz we can’t afford to go to concerts or in their country T^T). We love their songs and personalities <3 I love them all and I don’t have any particular or specific bias. But Paul on the other hand, he’s bias here is V because he’s a great dancer and has a deep voice

3 EXO

EXO is a kpop boy group of SM Entertainment. They debuted on the year 2011 with 12 members and is divided into 2 groups. EXO-K consisting of Kim Jun-myeon (Suho), Byun Baek-hyun (Baekhyun), Park Chan-yeol (Chanyeol) Do Kyung-soo (D.O), Kim Jong-in (Kai), Oh Se-hun (Sehun) and EXO-M consisting of Kim Min-seok (Xiumin), Zhang Yixing (Lay), Kim Jong-dae (Chen), Wu Yi Fan (Kris), Lu Han (Luhan) and Huang Zitao (Tao). But Kris left the group on May 2014. Following Luhan who left on October 10 2014 and then Tao on August 2015. We don’t really know the reasons why they left so please search it if you want to know because We don’t wanna speak about something if we don’t really know or have any or enough information about it. Even though there are 9 members left, they stil catch the hearts of women! Their fandom name is EXO-L and their leader is Suho. I’m not an avid fan of EXO but I love them all (their songs and choreos). I don’t have any particular or specific bias. But Paul here said that he loves EXO because of their choreography and style. His bias is Kai because he’s great in dancing and the sacrificial lamb of EXO XD hahaha.

4 SEVENTEEN (SVT)

SEVENTEEN is a kpop boy group of Pledis Entertainment. They debuted on the year 2015 with 13 members who are: Choi Seung Cheol (S.Coups), Yoon Jeong Han (Jeonghan), Joshua Hong (Joshua), Wen Junhui (Jun), Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi), Jeon Wonwoo (Wonwoo), Lee Jihoon (Woozi), Lee Seokmin (DK), Kim Mingyu (Mingyu), Xu Minghao (The8), Boo Seung Kwan (Seungkwan), Hansol Vernon (Vernon) and Lee Chan (Dino). Their fandom name is Carat! and their leader is S.Coups. I’m not an avid fan of SEVENTEEN but I love them all (their songs and choreos). I don’t have any particular or specific bias. But Paul here said that he loves SEVENTEEN because of their songs and choreos that are sooo cool! His bias here is Mingyu because he’s great at dancing

5 MOMOLAND

MOMOLAND is a kpop girl group of MLD Entertainment. They debuted on the year of 2016 with 9 members who are: Lee Hye Bin (Hyebin), Lee Da Bin (Yeonwoo), Sung Ji Yeon (Jane), Kim Taeha (Taeha), Kim Na Yun (Nayun), Yoo Jung Ahn (Daisy), Lee Joo Won (JooE), Lee Ah In (Ahin) and Nancy Jewel Mcdonie (Nancy). Their fandom name is Merry-Go-Round and their leader is Hyebin. I’m not a fan of MOMOLAND. I don’t even know that momoland existed! (I’m not shaming or critisizing tem ok I just don’t really knooowww. I’m not an avid kpop fan who searchers for kpop groups ok?) But I love their 2 famous songs called Bboom Bboom and Baam. They were famous her ein the Philippines and also a particular member who is Nancy because she looks like Liza Soberano. Paul here loves MOMOLAND because they always go here in the Philippines and has beautiful songs. His bias is Yeonwoo because she’s beautiful, cute and kind because thats what he observed at her when he’s watching videos of MOMOLAND and her in Youtube

6 STRAY KIDS (SKZ)

SKZ EBREBADEEEEHHHH!!!!! Stray Kids is a kpop boy group of JYP Entertainment. They debuted on the year of 2017 with 9 members who are: Christopher Bang (Bang Chan), Kim Woo-jin (Woojin), Lee Min-ho (Lee Know), Seo Chang-bin (Changbin), Hwang Hyun-jin (Hyunjin), Han Ji-sung (Han), Lee Felix (Felix), Kim Seung-min (Seungmin) and Yang Jeong-in (I.N). their fandom name is STAY and their leader is Bang Chan. I suuuupeeerrrr duupeeerrr loooveeeeee STRAY KIDS <3 I knew them because of Felix. I saw a video of him at IG saying “Uwu Uw”. then that’s how I met STRAY KIDS (It opened the gates of opportunity XD) and saw them when I was scrolling down through the explore tab of IG dancing to the song of TWICE’s Dance the night away. I love them all! My bias here is Felix because of his DEEP VOICE AND AUSSIE ACCENT! Bang Chan also has an Aussie Accent because they’re both from Australia. Felix can go to a very deep voice that can drown me to a very high voice that ikennat reach even tho mah height XD

7 BLACKPINK

BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREAAAA! BLACKPINK is a kpop girl group of YG Entertainment. They debuted on the year 2016with only 4 members who are: Kim Ji Soo (Jisoo), Kim Jennie (Jennie), Park Chae Young (Rose) and Lalisa Manoban (Lisa). Their fandom name is BLINK and they don’t have a leader. Their songs are a hit thats why they immediately become so famous. I love them all huehuehue all of them are my bias <3

8 MAMAMOO

MAMAMOO is a kpop girl group of RBW. They debuted on the year 2014 with 4 members who are: Kim Yong-sun (Solar), Moon Byul-yi (Moonbyul), Jung Whee-in () Wheein), Ahn Hye-jin (Hwasa). Their fandom name is MooMoo and their leader is Solar. I met them because of my sister who really loves them. they are a bold women that are sometimes cute and sweet which is soo great because its contrasting and they can be whenever they want or express theirselves what they want without hurting someone. I love HWASAAAA <3 because she is sooo bold and brave! she’s unstoppable on expressing herself! I loved her collaboration song with Loco which is “Don’t Give It To Me”

9 RED VELVET

RED VELVET is a kpop girl group of SM Entertainment. They debuted on the year of 2014 with 5 members who are: Bae Ju Hyun (Irene), Kang Seul Gi (Seulgi), Wendy Son (Wendy), Park Soo Young (Joy) and Kim Ye Rim (Yeri). their fandom name is Redveluv and their leader is Irene. They have their designated colors: Irene’s color is pink, Seulgi’s color is Yellow, Wendy’s color is blue. Joy’s color is green and Yeri’s color is purple. I love their songs and personalities!

10 EXID

EXID is a kpop girl group of AB Entertainment. They debuted on the year 2012 with 8 members who are: Heo Sol Ji (Solji), Ahn Hyo Jin (LE), Ahn Hee Yeon (Hani), Seo Hye Rin (Hyerin), Park Jung Hwa (Jeonghwa), Kang Hye Yeon (Dami), Jeong Yu Ji (Yuji), Na Hae Ryeong (Haeryung). And like EXO, Dami, Yuji and Haeryung left the group. Their fandom name is LEGO and their leader is Solji. I love Hani the most because she’s cute, funny and boyish (I’m also boyish)

BONUS: AKMU, GOT7, SUPER JUNIOR

THIS TOP 10 THINGY IS NOT REALLY IN ORDER (AND TO ALL OF MY PREVIOUS AND LATER ON POSTS) THATS ALL FOR TODAYS BLOOOG MAH DUDEZ! SEE YOU ON THE NEXT BLOG!

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too-tierd-to-exist · 2 years

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I feel like everything is falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it. One friend is around less cause of his gf and the other is being a little bitch about it. ones moving away and the other im pushing cause they keep ticking me off. the one person who'd i come to about this shit is the one causing it. he doesnt know that though. he has no reason to, not in a passive aggressive way. he may be having a time too but at least hes happy. I want him back hes my paul/j. i just.....ihhh. i want people back. I talk to miki less now that were not dating. Kaylin and sarah do shit withoit me a lot more. of course cass is around but i met cass more recently and of course, i trust him with my shit... it just doesn't feel right ranting to him about le emotions. similar with mylo, i adore him but i cant trust the with it. i wish i was able to be more open with people. maybe i should show someone this but idk who. Paul was the emotion guy. we both just bottle our shit up until we called and then wed just talk ab cry, but that aint gonna happen. hes not as close anymore and we dont just call really much. I wish he was less busy. fuck it i wish i was. If i were to show anyone this itd be him but i talk about him to much here to do so. i know ill be okay in a weekish, but that's not now. Ive been running on max for over a week so another one looks real rough. i feel like everything is slipping that im slipping. im trying so hard in school for the first time and falling so hard on my face i gave myself a black eye, not literally. my grades and my friends are what i have. i cant even see my grandparents cause they have covid and that is really stressing me out. i think theyll be okay, i hope. ughh im gonna jave to stay so late after school tmr for band and alone too. i want everyone to come back. everyone and everything just feels like they're moving away. and oh my god i hate that fucking sat class so much. it takes up so much time, is mind-numbingly boring, stresses me out, and adds sm work to my already heavy load. Jack sat ik u did nothing but i hate you so so much. I WANT PAUL BACK. I WANT MY BEST FRIEND TO FEEL LIKE MY BEST FRIEND. I WANT THE PERSON THAT MADE ME FEEL SAFE IN HIS ARMS THE LITTLE BITCH THAT CARES ABOUT ME AND THE ONLY CIS DUDE I TRUST WITH ALL MY HEART. COME BACK I MISS YOU I LOVE YOU NO HOMO. I WANT TO FEEL A DEEP CONNECTION AND TRUST. I WANT TO BE THE PERSON YOU COME TO AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO ALWAYS GO TO YOU. YOU LITTLE BITCH I SUPPORT U AN CHARLIE SO SO MUCH BUT I STILL WANT YOU AROUND FOR ME. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS SELFISH OR DELUSIONAL OR IF I'M ACCIDENTALLY SEEING YOU FOR MORE THAN U ARE BUT IDC I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU BUT NOT CUDDLE CAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE EMMA RUINED THAT. i just want my friend to be around and ya know be my friend. and yes u still are my fri3end and ur still around but its just not the same...ya know. i need to the answer to a problem I don't even know

#taking a moment to not exist #update I did send it to Paul

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themanicgalaxy · 3 years

Text

SPN 4X17 It's a Terrible Life

wheeee

Also visited the pit today! was very fun, but am very tired

oh holy SHIT IS IT NORMAL!AU?

NO CLASSIC ROCK!

DEAN SM I T H

he's...good at his job...and happy?

he feels vaguely openly bi here too

WOODY!

I Feel like this is Zachariah but WOODY!

walking stick?

oh Sam and Dean don't know each other?

AHAHAH SAM'S LIFE IS T ER R IB LE

at least he's got a friend

he really does feel like a Younger one

he's the stick in the mud heh

TESSA DREAM! YA GIRL!

I really miss Tessa

Harry Potter is a pretty apt metaphor actually

PFT SAM'S SO T AL L

i...did Dean think sam was...

guys what the fuck

I forgot what show this was HE REFERENCED PROJECT RUNWAY WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

is Sam still good at doodles? is he??

Sam's Friend is the plant isn't he

what the fuck is happening with Paul

why is it being shot like this

WAHT TEH FUCK

HE JUST KILLED HIMSELF WITH THE MICROWAVE WHAT THE FUCK

Ooo Dean gets a vibe too

oh does it pass to his friend??

and the friend kills himself in front of Dean? is that what happens?

Ok the bathroom scene spooky

IAN WHAT HTE FUCK

also good pencil set up

three weeks ago both of them heh

"I got the same instinct" THAT'S NEAT

PSYCHICCCC

this reminds me of that office space psych episode

aw Dean's impressed by the hacking and Sam's like heh

Dean trying to pretend he doesn't wanna check it out Interesting the Repression runs deep

Sam: well apparently I can kick doors down. Who knew?

the "everything is midlife crisis" but the last name? neat neat

ooo destiny

Dean's still not into Destiny heh

SAMMY

heh Dean's good at research, that's neat

GHOSFTACERS

IM CACKLING

IT'S THEM! HAHAHA!

"Devoted his life to his work" ah

ah it happened before in the Great Depression

OH 2008 RECESSION! OH WOW

It's adorably how Dean still does the references

THEY NAMEDROPPED THE WINCHESTERS

Say their first names say them PLEASE

is this a zap? how did this happen

the fucking...the ghostfacers are so funny

the ghosty noises are crazy

"last time this happened" sir?

OH GOD THEGUY JUST

poor Sam, he's not having a good day

this whole like half "oh we're good at this" and "YAHHH" is so FUN

oH THE GLOVES

aw the "we should go Do This"

THEY DID THE FANFIC THING OF "hey can u imagine if we did that thing we do on the show all the time" I LOVE IT

BOBBY ELLEN AND JO ARE DEAN'S FAMILY AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

HE WENT TO STANFORD

"my family isn't real" NOOO

Dean's a perfectly healthy guy what's ur PROBLEM Sam?

AND KRIPKE?

Sam you Edgy Bastard STOP KILLING THE PHONE

"I am giving my notice" Oh?

Dean tends not to do things unless someone pushes him, or on his own

fuck it I still kin him don't I

the Abrupt Color Change was WILD

ZACHARIAH

Castiel's superior?

I will point out that Dean looks good in a tie

oh for FUCK'S- THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD TRAINED! THAT'S NOT INSTINCT!

HE WAS RETICENT! COME ON

"you got daddy issues"

"angel or not I will Stab you in the face" GREAT LINEHA

he's trying to convince himself you can tell

THIS WAS NOT THAT BAD OF A FATE! WHAT THE FUCK

i...wrap up

1. The kripke projection is strong. I..I just can't get over how "eats healthy, went to stanford, has a loving family, a sister and two parents" is...the worst fate imaginable. Like the Ideal is life on the road. Dean's constantly caught between Kripke wanting to make him the womanizing bad boy and the character CLEARLY hating it and that's...like that's a lot. Sam says it, so does Zachariah, but he was like...healthy, and he was well liked and he was WAY higher up than Sam? I? It's not a crime to not want being near all that death, which is what I thought they were doing.

2. I did like the build up though. Like the combo between "they did this without thinking" and "wait wtf" the pointed intro of Woody(yes i know not woody but leave me alone) THE GHOSTFACERS, the reaction to "winchester" I just. The build up of this episode, and the sudden color swap was AWESOME. The episode itself building was compelling.

3. Bitch this wasn't in his blood, this was a learned, ingrained behavior. he was taught that since he was a toddler, of course he knows how to do it well. I don't like that. Although I do like how Dean was fighting it, that felt a nice touch.

4. I liked how it tied into the recession. Like 2005-8/9 is when people were getting disillusioned, and in that sense, having these characters around and being just Crushed makes sense, and was interesting.

5. This episode was basically Office!AU of the original 3 seasons, and that was funny

aight that's all I got

#pawswatchesspn #4x17 it's a terrible life #Bitch it wasn't #Dean vs Kripke the series #it's such an interesting concept #the character concept vs the characters execution fighting for who wins in the end oncreen #...this is too meta and sappy I'm going to sleep #ACTUALLY NO IM NOT DONE #CUZ DEAN IS THE COMIC RELIEF CHARACTER #MEANING HE ALSO GETS ALL THE “not masculine jokes #SO THEY KEEP WRITING THEMSELVES IN A CORNER WITH HIS SEXUALITY #like there’s so many concepts they’re trying to just Fling onto Dean #and they keep fighting #aaaaaa #like it’s a mix between I was bullied by this kinda guy and I’m gonna emasculate him on screen #with i wanna be this guy so I make him look cool #to a bunch of good writers(and jackles #who adds so much honestly)#making some really interesting concepts with him #that all end up fighting

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not-that-a-lee · 6 years

Video

youtube

The entirety of our Truly Daebak Awards 2017 special is now up!

Best IOI Branch:

Chungha

DIA

gugudan

Pristin

Weki Meki

Cosmic Girls (WJSN)

Best English Lyrics:

“Life is short, art is long” - “Artist” by Zico

“Regrets? I got a few…thousand” - “Here Come The Regrets” by Epik High (ft. Lee Hi)

“Did you see my bag?” - “Mic Drop” by BTS

“CUZ I AM GROOT MO’FUCKA” - “NO THANXX” by Epik High

“Love, love, love, love is volcano” - “Pow Pow” by Elris

“I like, du du du du du du” - “We Like” by Pristin

Bias-Wrecker of the Year:

Chen (EXO)

Jeonghwa (EXID)

Joy (Red Velvet)

LE (EXID)

Sunmi

Taemin (SHINee)

Female Bias of the Year:

Jiwoo (KARD)

Mina (gugudan)

Momo (Twice)

Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Somin (KARD)

Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation)

Male Bias of the Year:

BM (KARD)

Heechul (Super Junior)

J.Seph (KARD)

Kai (EXO)

Ong Seongwoo (Wanna One)

RM (BTS)

1st Annual Walwari Award:

EXP EDITION

Jake Paul

Pocket Girls

SIXBOMB

Superbee

Walwari

Best MV/Visual Design:

“Chococo” by Gugudan

“DNA” by BTS

“Ice Chu” by Gugudan5959

“Peek-A-Boo” by Red Velvet

“Red Flavor” by Red Velvet

“Tomboy” by Hyukoh

Best Solo/Duo/Co-Ed Choreography:

“Gashina” by Sunmi

“Move” by Taemin

“Hola Hola” by KARD

“Why Don’t You Know” by Chungha

“Eclipse” by Kim Lip (LOONA)

“Spotlight” by Sohee (Elris)

Best Female Group Choreography:

“Chase Me” by Dreamcatcher

“Fingertip” by GFriend

“Heart Shaker” by Twice

“Likey” by Twice

“Red Flavor” by Twice

“Want You To Say” by Playback

Best Male Group Choreography:

“Beautiful” by Monsta X

“Cherry Bomb” by NCT 127

“DNA” by BTS

“Energetic” by Wanna One

“Ko Ko Bop” by EXO

“Shangri La” by VIXX

Best Sub Unit:

gugudan5959

NU’EST W

ODD EYE CIRCLE (LOONA)

SVT Performance Team

Triple H

VIXX LR

Best Collaboration/Feature:

“Anti” by Zico feat. G.Soul

“Can’t Love You Anymore” by IU & Oh Hyuk

“Cave Me In” by Gallant x Tablo x Eric Nam

“Honey Bee” by Luna, Hani, Solar

“Love Story” by Epik High feat. IU

“Mic Drop (Steve Aoki Remix)” by BTS feat. Desiigner

Best Band:

CNBLUE

Day6

Hyukoh

Marmello

Nell

The Rose

Best R&B Artist:

Heize

Hoody

offonoff

Suran

Taeyang

Zion. T

Best Rap/Hip Hop Artist:

DPR LIVE

Dumbfoundead

Dynamic Duo

Epik High

G-Dragon

Zico

Best Ballad/Acoustic Artist:

Ailee

Bolbbalgan4

Taeyeon

Urban Zakapa

Yoon Jong Shin

Best Duo/Co-Ed Group:

Akdong Musician

Bolbbalgan4

KARD

Nick & Sammy

Triple H

Urban Zakapa

Best Female Solo Artist:

Hoody

Seohyun

Sunmi

Suran

Taeyeon

Best Male Solo Artist:

G-Dragon

Jonghyun

Psy

Taemin

Zico

Zion. T

Best Female Group:

Dreamcatcher

EXID

Girls’ Generation

Mamamoo

Red Velvet

Twice

Best Male Group:

BTS

EXO

Monsta X

NCT 127

Wanna One

Winner

Breakout Artist of the Year:

Day6

Laboum

NU’EST W

Sunmi

Suran

WINNER

Best New Artist:

Chungha

Dreamcatcher

KARD

Odd Eye Circle (LOONA)

Pristin

Wanna One

Label of the Year:

BigHit Entertainment

Blockberry Creative

DSP Media

Happy Face Entertainment

JYP Entertainment

SM Entertainment

Producer of the Year:

Black Eyed Pilseung

Daniel “Obi” Klein & Charli Taft

Kenzie

LDN NOISE

MonoTree

Teddy

Song of the Year:

“Chase Me” by Dreamcatcher

“DNA” by BTS

“Don’t Recall” by KARD

“Gashina” by Sunmi

“Heart Shaker” by Twice

“Holiday” by Girls’ Generation

“Likey” by Twice

“Red Flavor” by Red Velvet

“Want You To Say” by Playback

Mini Album of the Year:

“A Flower Bookmark 2″ by IU

“Don’t Say No” by Seohyun

“Eclipse” by EXID

“Hola Hola” by KARD

“Prequel” by Dreamcatcher

“Red Diary Page. 1″ by Bolbbalgan4

“The Awakening” by GFriend

“The Red Summer” by Red Velvet

“You & Me” by KARD

Album of the Year:

“21″ by Hyukoh

“Holiday Night” by Girls’ Generation

“Love Yourself 承 ‘Her’” by BTS

“MOVE-ing” by Taemin

“My Voice” by Taeyeon

“Palette” by IU

“Perfect Velvet” by Red Velvet

“Twicetagram” by Twice

“We’ve Done Something Wonderful” by Epik High

Artist of the Year:

BTS

Dreamcatcher

Epik High

Girls’ Generation

KARD

Red Velvet

Taeyeon

Twice

Wanna One

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julietcapulct · 7 years

Note

the one movie that always gets my heart racing is 100% le fabuleux destin d'amélie poulain. but also marie-antoinette. and c.r.a.z.y. and the darjeeling limited. and little miss sunshine. and the grand budapest hotel.

um yes ma’am that movie is gorgeous??? in fact all of these movies are amazing. little miss sunshine is so beautiful and gets me crying every time, paul dano is an acting genius and lowkey sometimes i think “i hope paul dano is doing okay” bc i still see him in that role (the colourblind scene......i want to Cry and Fight Someone) and i love him sm

season: spring / summer / autumn / winter

era: renaissance / expressionism / romanticism / beat generation

director: q. tarantino / s. coppola / d. fincher / w. anderson

school: hogwarts / beauxbatons / durmstrang / ilvermorny

goddess: aphrodite / artemis / athena / hera / persephone

compliment: okay i had to cut this down bc i ended up nearly writing a novel about how much i adore u and worship u Wow okay i just love you a lot??? you’re so much fun to talk to and chat with and i just love ur personality so much. ur so sweet and kind and u know exactly what to say and i love that ur outspoken and u speak out !!! u have an amazing sense of humour and i haven’t even spoken about ur blog yet??? okay so ur blog is a+, 10/10, gold medal standard; the theme, the memes, the text posts....i’m here for it all of it all the time. it’s all so perfect and you’re perfect too

(+bonus) fancast: your eyes remind me so much of naomi scott!! but i also see some of katie findlay in you??? both gorgeous girls tbh. your face is so beautiful and ur cheekbone structure is to die for....like.....im Shook as hell. you look like you genuinely should be a model im not even joking you’re so lovely and ily okay wow im heart nutting

blog aesthetics 🌹

#roryglimore #blog aesthetics

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revuedepresse30 · 5 years

Text

Chris Krauss : “Pour chaque livre, je choisis un masque”

Si Chris Kraus est une personne en chair et en os comme vous et moi, que l’on retrouve dans un bar parisien, cette femme espiègle est surtout, pour des millions de téléspectateurs, un personnage de série télévisée. Incarnée à merveille par l’actrice Kathryn Hahn dans l’adaptation pour le petit écran de son premier roman I Love Dick. Les mêmes cheveux rebelles, la même vivacité d’esprit, le même sourire en coin, se dit-on en observant "l’original".

La série avait provoqué l’enthousiasme autant que le trouble lors de la diffusion de sa première saison, il y a trois ans. Réalisée par la très douée Jill Soloway (Transparent), elle mettait en scène ce que l’on ne voit pas d’habitude à la télé américaine grand public : le désir féminin, celui d’une femme mariée, pour un autre homme ; avec Kevin Bacon dans le rôle de l’amant désiré – par le mari autant que par la femme, on le comprend au fur et à mesure.

Publié en 1977 chez Semiotext(e), la maison d'édition qu'elle a créée avec son mari, le roman, pamphlet féministe devenu culte au fil des ans, s’inspirait directement de la vie de ses protagonistes réels, ce couple peu commun que formèrent pendant dix ans Chris Kraus et Sylvère Lotringer. Lui est un intellectuel et éditeur renommé, qui publia et fit connaître les grands noms de la French Theory (Baudrillard, Deleuze, Foucault) outre-Atlantique.

Une volonté de se réinventer sous forme de personnage

Pour d’autres, qui fréquentent le monde de l’art de Los Angeles, Chris Kraus est cette signature que l'on retrouve dans les meilleurs magazines. Une critique d’art respectée, qui arpente inlassablement galeries, musées et ateliers à la recherche des talents de demain. Aujourd’hui, c’est à l’occasion de la parution d’un de ses romans en France qu’elle est à Paris. Publié à l’origine en 2012, Dans la fureur du monde peut se lire comme le second tome des aventures du personnage de I Love Dick. Et donc en partie de l’auteure elle-même.

"Après avoir quitté Michel, écrit-elle dans les premières pages, son pas-tout-à-fait-ex-mari de vingt ans son aîné, et New York pour débuter une nouvelle vie à Los Angeles, Catt avait commencé une carrière de critique culturelle. Etant donné l’éclectisme de ses goûts et son absence totale de diplômes, envisager d’en vivre était une vaste blague. Donc, dans son temps libre, elle avait usé de sa ruse et de son charme pour investir dans l’immobilier."

Un rapprochement entre des origines juives cachées et la vocation d’écrivaine

Interviewer un auteur d’autofiction, c’est un peu comme découvrir, à travers ses mots, des passages inédits de son livre. Or, c’est parfois dans ce qu'on n’écrit pas, ces zones d’ombre ou non-dits d’une vie, que résident les clefs d’interprétation d’une œuvre. Comme le fait que les parents de Chris Kraus lui aient caché jusqu’à sa majorité leur judaïcité. "C’est compliqué, sourit-elle à ce propos. Mon père n’était pas proche de sa famille, il se définissait comme membre de l’Eglise épiscopale anglicane. C’était devenu ma religion, celle dans laquelle j’ai été élevée."

Si quelqu’un écrivait un jour la biographie de Chris Kraus, il y aurait un rapprochement à faire, comme chez Romain Gary, entre ces origines juives cachées, presque honnies par les parents, et la vocation d’écrivaine de soi-même. Cette volonté de se réinventer sous la forme d’un personnage de fiction. Il faudrait alors planter la scène, cette façon dont elle découvrit, débarquant à New York de sa petite ville ouvrière du Connecticut, que ses oncles et tantes qu’elle n’avait jamais rencontrés portaient le costume, le chapeau et la coupe de cheveux des juifs orthodoxes.

Quand Chris Kraus invente une nouvelle forme d’autofiction

Passons vite sur sa vocation manquée de comédienne, le rôle de mentor qu’eut pour elle l’actrice et dramaturge Ruth Maleczech, et la révélation que fut le film Wavelenght de Michael Snow. Il lui faudra surtout vivre et digérer l’échec de son premier long métrage pour se mettre à écrire.

Considérée alors comme “la femme de Sylvère” par les collègues souvent phallocrates de l’université où celui-ci enseigne, cette jolie fille un peu paumée qui n’arrive pas à financer ses films préfère se taire, car elle ne sait pas s’exprimer dans le jargon philosophique des admirateurs de son mari.

Elle se tourne vers l’écriture, des lettres adressées notamment à cet homme idéalisé, Dick. “Quelque chose s’est passé à ce moment-là, se souvient-elle, et puis c’est devenu consistant de livre en livre.” Sans vraiment s'en rendre compte, Chris Kraus vient d’inventer une nouvelle forme d’autofiction à l’américaine, mélange détonant et fructueux de théorie et de pratique, d’essai et de récit autobiographique, parfois sous forme épistolaire. Son style s’inscrit dans la lignée des auteures ayant utilisé leur quotidien comme matière d’un récit : les sœurs Brontë, Nathalie Sarraute ou Sophie Calle. Il inspirera une nouvelle génération, d’Ariana Reines à Maggie Nelson.

Commen échapper au carcan new-yorkais

Elle s’en moque un peu, rit d’elle-même avec ce degré d’autodérision salvateur, comme lorsqu’elle écrit de son alter ego, Catt : "Elle ne voyait aucune frontière entre les sentiments et les pensées, le sexe et la philosophie. Par conséquent, ses écrits étaient surtout lus dans le monde de l’art où elle attirait à elle un petit groupe d’admirateurs dévoués : des garçons souffrant d’Asperger, des filles qui avaient été hospitalisées pour maladies mentales, des chargés de cours qui n’obtenaient pas leur titularisation, des danseuses érotiques, des adeptes de la scarification, des putes." Une description assez proche de la sociologie véritable des élèves qui composaient son cours au Pasadena Art Center, où elle enseigna de nombreuses années.

Kraus fait néanmoins partie de ces écrivains, de plus en plus rares à une époque et dans un pays furieusement anti-intellectuels, qui croient encore aux idées autant qu’au style. Une femme qui, loin de vouloir "faire carrière" dans le milieu littéraire, s’est échappée du carcan new-yorkais pour aller fureter dans les milieux activistes d’Europe et d’ailleurs, des Black Panthers au Front homosexuel d’action révolutionnaire français de 1971, en passant par Ulrike Meinhof, de la Rote Armee Fraktion, à laquelle elle consacra un livre (Aliens and Anorexia).

Organisatrice de trois jours de “rave philosophique”

Elle a aussi organisé ce qui reste "l’événement de la décennie 1990" selon le LA Times : The Last Chance Event, trois jours de "rave philosophique" dans un casino du Nevada, avec en clou du spectacle, raconte-t-elle, Jean Baudrillard "en tenue de rock star façon Elvis Presley, chantant à deux heures du mat' avec son accent français, Suiciiiiide-moi, suiciiiide-moi !, devant un parterre de trois cents personnes allongées sur le sol".

Elle est aussi éditrice, publie dans sa collection Native Agents des écrits à la première personne d’auteurs de "littérature transgressive", comme on dit parfois : Michelle Tea, William Burroughs, Bruce Benderson, Gary Indiana, et certains Français tels qu’Abdellah Taïa, Alain Guiraudie, Michel Leiris, Marie Darrieussecq, Mathieu Lindon. C’est toutefois dans une veine polar, comme du Chester Himes version trash, que s’inscrit Dans la fureur du monde.

L’auteure retourne dans l’autre sens la "chosification" des felles

L’intrigue se résume ainsi au départ : une femme fuit un homme qui cherche à la tuer. Cet homme est son amant, l’un de ces types que la jeune femme dégotte sur des sites de rencontres. Branchée SM, elle a poussé le vice un peu trop loin quand celui qui est appelé "son tueur" lui a proposé de "prendre le contrôle de ses finances".

L’idée lui a d’abord paru "profondément zen et brillante" : quoi de plus agréable que de ne plus avoir à décider de rien ? Sauf que l’homme en question est un malade mental. Elle échappe à ce destin funeste en partant vers le Nouveau-Mexique et rencontre Paul Garcia, qu’elle embauche pour l’aider dans son affaire d’immobilier. Et dont elle tombe amoureuse.

"Paul, ce que j’ai besoin de savoir, sérieusement, c’est : est-ce que cela va avoir un impact sur notre travail ?", lui demande-t-elle lorsqu’elle découvre la rose qu’il a posée pour elle dans la camionnette qui les emmène, alors qu’il ne s’est encore rien passé entre eux. "Et merde, angoisse le pauvre homme, travailleur d’origine mexicaine et ancien taulard qui essaye tant bien que mal de garder la tête hors de l’eau. Je vais tomber pour harcèlement sexuel."

Le milieu féministe "troisième génération" a adoré I Love Dick, et Dans la fureur du monde l’a tout autant convaincu. Certaines y ont vu une nouvelle étape franchie dans le renversement des valeurs et des rôles définissant jusqu’ici le masculin et le féminin : la "chosification" des femmes est retournée dans l’autre sens par l’auteure, l’héroïne du roman chosifiant malgré elle les hommes qu’elle rencontre (pour leur plus grand bonheur d’ailleurs).

Une réflexion sur la sex tape de Paris Hilton et la guerre en Irak

"Catt est surtout un appât pour susciter l’attention du lecteur, confie Kraus. Le vrai sujet du livre, c’est Paul Garcia, la brutalité du monde vis-à-vis des types comme lui." Ou comment un type, parce qu’individu mâle et étranger, peut, aux Etats-Unis, être considéré comme un prédateur et susciter la méfiance, voire l’hostilité. Coupable, même s’il n’a rien à se reprocher.

Le titre original du livre, lors de sa parution, est Summer of Hate, "l’été de la haine". Cet été 2003, lorsque l’Amérique de George W. Bush s’engouffrait la tête la première dans la seconde guerre du Golfe. "Il était apparu à Catt que le travail épistémologique préparatoire à la guerre en Irak avait été accompli par la vidéo de sexe anal de Paris Hilton", écrit Kraus dans l’une de ses phrases géniales.

“Le début de ce moment où les mensonges devinrent des vérités et les vérités, des mensonges”

Cette fameuse sex tape, révélée par le publiciste d’Hilton comme si elle venait de son ex. "Tout le monde savait que c’était faux, décrypte-t-elle, mais personne ne s’en préoccupait. Ce fut le début de ce moment où les mensonges devinrent des vérités et les vérités, des mensonges, du moment que quelqu’un les disait."

Un "travail épistémologique" donc, qui préparait le pays à gober le bobard des armes de destruction massive sorti par Colin Powell aux Nations unies pour justifier la guerre. Elle évoque aussi Abu Ghraib "et cette nouvelle terminologie, on ne parlait pas de 'torture' mais d’'abus de prisonniers'. Comme s’il s’agissait de chiots".

Une forme de pensée ou d’écriture magique

Cet "été de la haine" est enfin celui du réchauffement climatique, ce mois de juin caniculaire ("En Californie, on retire de la fournaise de mobile-homes minuscules les corps de vieillards sans le sous"). Que pense-t-elle des années Trump, comparées à ces années Bush que son roman passe au crible ? "La seule différence entre Trump et Bush réside dans le chaos constant du gouvernement actuel. Mais les racines du mal étaient déjà plantées pendant ces années fatidiques."

La littérature, heureusement, permet encore de brouiller les frontières, de redistribuer les cartes. Dans une interview au sujet de son amie Kathy Acker, à laquelle elle a consacré un beau livre (After Kathy Acker), Chris Kraus explique comment ses "mensonges, au sujet de sa vie, n’étaient pas véritablement des mensonges mais un système de pensée magique".

“L’écrivain devrait être aussi libre qu’un acteur”

On lui fait remarquer à quel point elle-même pratique une forme de pensée ou d’écriture magique, comment elle a su réinventer une littérature du "je" au-delà de la sacro-sainte séparation entre les faits et la fiction, le récit autobiographique et l’invention romanesque. "Cela n’a pas été sans heurts", confie-t-elle, certaines critiques se focalisant sur le personnage de Catt sans réussir à distinguer la narratrice de l’auteure.

Dans l’une d’entre elles, l'écrivaine fut carrément accusée de racisme pour le regard que son personnage pose sur l’homme d’origine mexicaine. "L’écrivain devrait être aussi libre qu’un acteur, sourit-elle. Pour chaque livre, je choisis le masque que je vais revêtir. Ça me prend un certain temps, mais une fois que c’est fait, je peux écrire. Je viens d’écrire un essai sur Mary McCarthy, cette romancière du milieu du siècle, et sur son roman formidable, The Group, à propos d'un groupe d’étudiantes. Chacun de ses chapitres est le point de vue spécifique d’une étudiante, or elle fut critiquée comme s’il s’agissait de son propre point de vue. Elle faisait un pastiche ! Les gens ont du mal avec la satire."

Dans la fureur du monde, traduit de l’anglais (Etats-Unis) par Alice Zeniter (Flammarion), 304 p., 20 €

Yann Perreau

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annoyinglysaltyblaze · 6 years

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super carton wings toys

MIRA Jet plane adorable green Mira is the best for water. Aquatic missions are their specialty, is very skilled in the aquatic field. As she says, “when there is a problem, I throw myself head” You can fly anywhere, even in the depths of the blue sea. A Look loves to explore the ocean, likes much the creatures that live there and especially loves to help his friends in missions. this type toys is some fun for your kid sugure hours to play withs cartoon super wings toys PAUL It is the plane police series. It is primarily responsible for directing traffic and monitor the airport at night. Thanks to sympathetic Paul airport is always in good hands. BELLO It’s a very special plane, the plane safari. Learn all about the animals and can speak the language of each of the animals. She loves to take care of animals. A Bello the two things they like are the animals and help your friends. GRAND ALBERT He is a retired scout plane who loves telling stories of his adventures. He has had a healthy long life, and interesting life. Albert the Great what he likes is to entertain young airplanes telling their adventures. JETT The main character is an adorable Jet airplane type red and white. Always ready to help, he is enthusiastic and fun. As he says: I am the smallest plane but the bravest! One of his favorite phrases when making deliveries is: I am Jett, always punctual. What he likes is high fly through the sky and help all your friends around the world. When in trouble always thinks of Super Wings and says: “It’s time to call the Super Wings” and explains his amazing friends who are planes that always help you. DIZZY The girl helicopter group is listed, independent and charming. He specializes in rescue activities. With its hook and rescue platform it is unbeatable. Always willing to help and have a cable to your friends. Jett affectionately called Dizz His colors are pink and white. JEROME It is a supersonic jet fighter, loves to do stunts and demonstrations in the air, but mostly complete missions with his great friend Jett. Jerome enjoys being the center of attention and can be a bit snooty, but has a big heart. articulo Comentarios Entradas populares de este blog Aplicaciones Para Rastrear Tu Android agosto 23, 2018 Aplicaciones Para Rastrear Tu Android Las aplicaciones de rastreo son interesantes no sólo porque a veces podemos rastrear dónde puede estar nuestro celular cuando nos lo roban, sino que nos ayudan a rastrearlo por la casa o la oficina cuando lo dejamos olvidado en modo vibrador o silencioso. En este caso puntual vamos a hablar de 3 aplicaciones Android gratuitas, de esas que nos permiten rastrear el móvil donde sea que esté. Las aplicaciones para rastreo de equipos Android son: 1) WatchDroid Lite: Es la típica aplicación que le permite enviar un SMS de rastreo al celular para que nos de las coordinadas vía GPS de donde sea que se encuentre. La aplicación es completamente gratuita y apenas ocupa 653k de espacio en nuestro teléfono. 2) Where’s My Droid: También hablamos de una aplicación gratuita, y funciona de la misma manera que la anterior, enviando un SMS que permite obtener las coordenadas mediante el uso del GPS. También es útil cuando lo perdemos en modo

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theleaderdotinfo-blog · 6 years

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Costa Blanca South Bowls Roundup - 5 May 18 has been published at http://www.theleader.info/2018/05/05/costa-blanca-south-bowls-roundup-5-may-18/

New Post has been published on http://www.theleader.info/2018/05/05/costa-blanca-south-bowls-roundup-5-may-18/

Costa Blanca South Bowls Roundup - 5 May 18

Country Bowls by Geoff Paylor and Gordon Dixon The Country Bowls ‘Badgers’ travelled to Monte Mar on Monday for their second match in the summer league. Was it a case of ‘after the Lord Mayors show?’ You would have to think so looking at the result. The Badgers lost 2 points to 12 with our 2 points coming from Ben Noke, Derek Jiggins and Andy Bryce, well done for sticking with it. We were beaten by a superior squad and not because of our own bad play. There were some great bowls played and it augments very well for the future. Scores are : Niel West, Peter Dix and Phil Warrington. 9 – 24, Joel Fernandez, Adam James and John Mallet. 10 – 16, Brenda Jiggins, Lynne Bryce and Gary Ponsford. 14 – 23, Geoff Eggleton, Dave Smith and John Hassell. 8 – 14, Linda Freeman, Graham Richardson and Geoff Paylor. 10 – 13 and the winning rink. 17 – 11. In the latest VCL match, Country Bowls ‘Herons’ travelled to San Miguel and came up against a strong side, both singles came up against players in top form and went down rather heavily. The pairs started well and got an early lead but were then under pressure and were punished 11 shots in three ends and never recovered. The trips, despite losing seven shots on the second end fought bravely but were unable to make up the shots against some very steady and consistent lead bowls from their opponents despite some good efforts. The rinks played some good ends but were overpowered by an experienced team playing some excellent bowls and scoring heavily. This resulted in San Miguel coming out on top and all were worthy winners with a score of 12 – 0. Scores are; Ladies Singles. Brenda Jiggins. 8 – 21, Gents Singles. Geoff Paylor. 10 – 21, Pairs. Lynne Bryce & Ben Noke. 11 – 25, Trips. Linda Freeman, Derek Jiggins and Gary Ponsford. 12 – 21, Rinks. Ann Barratt, Dave Smith, John Hassell & Andy Bryce . 5 - 29 For any information on Country Bowls please contact the club on 966 19 1552 or 868 183 703. Or visit our website www.countrybowlsmurcia.com . El Rancho Bowls Club. Monday morning with the strong winds of late relenting to give us a splendid morning for bowls, the Buckskins were away at San Luis playing the Hercules which can be a difficult fixture. But we were in splendid company and we enjoyed the occasion if not the result, which didn’t represent the effort we put into the match, playing some good bowls in some close matches. However in the end we came away with just the one point, but it didn’t spoil our lunch or day. Dolly Ford, Pam Harris and Brian Harris 10-15. Lesley Day, Marion Haynes and Dave Haynes 13-13. Ann Abbott, Bob Day and Malc Elmore 7-18. David Wright, Graham Day and Keith Longshaw 13-19. Brian Yates, Ann Taylor and Jim Taylor 14-26. Janet Wright, Peter Blackburn and Malc Sykes 17-23. Wednesday found El Rancho playing their first match of the week at Emerald Isle against the Erals in a tough match, the two singles matches with Jane Hamill and Richard Lee proved to be single shot losses at 20-21. The other matches on paper were comfortable wins for the Erals, but good bowls was played by both teams, though we came away without a point. Friday found El Rancho playing host to San Miguel Marshals in the VCL and a good day it was, El Rancho taking both singles and the overall shots by one. A good result a day with very windy conditions. Ladies singles: Jean Bagwell 21-13. Gents singles: Jim Gracie 21-10. Pairs: June Whitworth and Richard Lee 13-15. Trips: Sheila Cox, Jane Hamill and Shirley Edwards 16-22. Rinks: Ron Edwards, Brian Taylor, Mike Cox and David Whitworth 15-25. For membership details contact Brian Taylor on 965077093 or at [email protected] or Carolyn Harris on 966774316 or at [email protected]. Emerald Isle Bowls Club The week started with the Victors travelling to play at San Miguel Christians and they had a fine 10-4 win, aggregate 103 -100, winners were: P Heaney S Wickens D Birkett 26-10,C Thomas A M Stevenson B Kavanagh 18-10, S Johnson L Vincent K Jolliffe 17-13 D Jones C Warner J Rimmer, 18-16 The Vulcans played Greenlands Gladiators and had a fine 14-0 aggregate 121-64. Winners were L Burns J Loughran A Burns 23-8, ,G Dyer T Capewell M Willicott 22-13, A Brown G Farrington L Fisher 24-9, C Ayling S Watson J Mullarkey 22-11, R Adams B Doran D Close 12-10, S Adams E Brookes P Creswell 18-13 Tuesday EI played The Highjackers and the home team won 10--6 aggregate of119-104 winners were N Inwood R Fooks P Willicott 26-11, S Adams J Dear D Close 23-14, D Martin R Adams G Inwood 15-12 T Capewell and two guests won 20-12 Wed the Dukes travelled to Vistabella Vikings in the VCL league, and were beaten 4-8, aggregate of 82-90 winners were J Rimmer 21-18, M Whitelock and M Stacey 15-13 The Earls played at home against El Rancho and they had a great 14-0 win, aggregate of 122-70. Winners were S Kavanagh 21-20 P Heaney 21-20, C Warner B Kavanagh 22-7, C Ayling C Parsons L Fisher 26-16, R Adams B Taylor S Watson J Mullarkey 32-7 Thursday took the Victors to Vistabella Greenways and the home team came out on top 9-5 aggregate 87-101, winners were D Jones CWarner J Rimmer 21-10, C Thomas M Thomas A M Stevenson 16-14, C Parsons M Whitelock M Stacey drew 16-16 The Earls played at home against La Marina Pilots and they slipped to a 6-8 aggregate of 88-103 winners were A Brown D Close L Fisher 21-11, C Ayling S Watson J Mullarkey 22-16, I Fay A Fay J Loughran 18-14 Hoping all the Emerald Isle bowlers on tour at Mojacar are having a good time ELWYN MORRIS HORADADA BOWLS CLUB by Irene Graham On Monday we were at home to La Marina Pilots and I’m delighted to report another good win. A beautiful spring morning was complemented by some excellent bowling from both sides, with some very close matches. We lost one rink on the 18th end by 1 shot, but won 4 rinks in total and secured the shots points by 115 - 100. The overall match result was Horadada 10 points and La Marina 4 points. Our winning rinks were: Pat Patton, Alan Miller and Brian Patton 27 - 14; Yvonne Hurlock, Les Davies and Brian Eatough 18 - 14; Carol Linehan, Linda Hier and Terry Hucknall 21 – 13 Irene Graham, Jack Linehan and John Hurlock 22 - 16. Our thanks to Paul and his La Marina team for their good sportsmanship and friendliness that contributed to an excellent morning's bowling. Good luck team for next week against La Siesta Wasps. We are at home so let’s make it 4 out of 4. On Wednesday in the VCL League we were away to La Marina. Not a good result for us I’m afraid. Again it was a lovely spring morning with no wind so we couldn’t blame that. Thanks goes to Margaret Odell for winning her ladies singles match 21 – 6. Margaret saved us from a whitewash. La Marina played some good bowling that we couldn’t quite keep up with. We are hoping for a better result next week against Country Bowls. With no other matches to report on wishing our team of players good luck and good bowling for next week. SAN LUIS BOWLS CLUB REPORT 04.05.18. With last week’s very strong winds starting to calm down a little, the sun has been making its presence felt rather more strongly and the sun screen has been more obvious with white stripes on noses (or was it just mine?). Unfortunately the dust and pollen in the dry air has affected a few of our players with asthma, hay-fever and breathing problems but hopefully we take the tablets, drink more water and carry on. Having had a pause in the leagues for the Champion of Champions Tournament we have another week to play league matches before the Linea Directa National Lawn Bowls Championships start (12th-26th May at Emerald Isle). South Alicante Summer League: Monday 30th April SL Wellingtons away v Q Blenheims, had a disastrous result 1-13, 66 shots-105. Just managing to hold on for a draw: Helen Hammond, Sheila Cammack, Scott Malden 15-15. SL Hercules home v El Rancho Buckskins had a great result, 13-1, shots 114-74. Winners: Ray Whatmough, Ralph Jones, Sue Ross 15-10, Roger Inwards, Mary Fromson, Roy Cordell 19-13, Mario Cavilla, Ken Dullaway, Charlie Marigold 13-13, Ros Holmes, Audrey Ford, Tom Fromson 18-7, Sally Cordell, Ian Ross, Les Bedford 26-14, Terry Baylis, Cas Blay, Brenda Brown 23-17. Wednesday 2nd May VCL: SL Falcons home v SM Sheriffs, had a good result; 10-2, shots 92-71. Winners: Singles – Kath Reid 21-15, Colin Jackson 21-10, Pairs – Jan & Brian Pocock 15-12, Rinks – Ann Holland, William Holtham, Scott Malden, Ian Kenyon 20-16. SL Hawks away v La Siesta had a tough morning, 2-10, shots 77-97. Well done to our pairs: Sue Ross & Charlie Marigold 21-14. Friday 4th VCL: SL Hawks had a hard fought game but a much better result away v EI Earls, points 10-2, shots 92-67. Winners: Singles – Irene Everett 21-9, Bill Webb 21-12, Trips – Ros Holmes, Bob Bromley, Vic Slater 22-19, Rinks – Dennis Jackson, Terry Baylis, Sheila Cammack, Charlie Marigold 15-10. Information: www.sanluisbowls.byethost7.com or contact June Jones, Club Captain: 691903773. Sheila Cammack Press Report San Miguel Bowls Club – week ending 4th May By Gail Willshire The results from the Monday leagues were mixed for San Miguel this week. The Christians were home to Emerald Isle Victors, with both teams starting the day on 16 points. Pat McEwan, Anne Young and Dave McEwan struggled for the first half of the game, but didn’t give up and managed to claw their way back winning 23:19. Anita Brown, Jack Jackson and Bob Donnelly were ahead from the off ending with a great score of 27:5. Unfortunately for the Christians, that is where the good news ended. Despite fighting hard they just missed out on the overall shots, the final result being a loss, 4:10, 100 shots to 103. On the same day the Moors went to La Siesta to fight the Wasps in the hope they wouldn’t get badly stung. Early on, things did not look good and they were facing a potential 3:11 defeat. But what a turnaround! By midway the team had moved to a 10:4 win and maintained this to the end. Great results came from Allan Patterson, Dave Johnson and Lynn Greenland, Val Collier, Chris Collier and Stuart Denholm, Margaret Patterson, Lee Sinclair and Mary Dyer and Sue Milner, Jim Jarvie and Steve Cantley. Wednesday’s VCL results were another mixed bag. Starting with the good news, the Deputies won across the board beating the Country Bowls Herons 12:0, 117 shots to 46. The singles were played by Ann Allan and Gary Raby, the Pairs by John Marshall and John Raby, the Trips comprised Jack Jackson, Jim Jarvie and Alan Campbell and the Rinks Tom Dalgleish, Sandi Hannon, Derek Farmer and Bob Donnelly. Now for the rest of the results. The Sheriffs only managed 2 points away to the San Luis Falcons thanks to Lin Miller, Chris Collier and Val Collier. The Marshalls faired slightly better getting 4 points from their match against the Quesada Tigers. Well done to Sheila and Brian Errington in the Pairs and Ann Young, Bob Graham and John Staden in the Trips. If you are thinking of taking up bowls, why not come to Wasps on Wednesdays 1pm for 1:30 start. €5 for an afternoon’s bowling with shoes and woods available to borrow. For further information on San Miguel Bowls Club please contact the President Stuart Hemmings on 965720461, or the Secretary Gail Willshire on 965020492. Vistabella Bowls Report With Lynne Bishop. S.A Spitfire League. Two games this week for the Greenways, the first on Monday when the side welcomed the Quesada Lancaster’s who sat top of the league. Three wins and the long game gave the Greenways an eight point win. Sue Jenkins, Charlie Watkins & Maggie Furness 33-8. Pauline Rafferty, Helen Marshall & Sue Wilson 24-10 and Stan Dibble, Mike Regan & Arthur Brown 14-10. Shots, VB 107(8) - 87(6) Q. The second game was a re-arranged one played a few days early on Thursday at home against the Emerald Isle Victors who apparently were top of the league after Monday’s fixture. The Greenways chasing after points managed to pick up nine on this occasion thanks to some very good bowling. Sheila Whitehall, Gary Thorpe & Peter Whitehall 24-10. Lynne Bishop, Charlie Watkins & Martin Foulcer 22-10. Rosemarie Savage, Jim Donnelly & Sue Wilson 15-13. Beryl Regan, Ken Savage & Brian Dunn 16-16. Knocking two teams off top spot in one week is very encouraging. Shots, VB 101(9) - 87(5) EL. Well done the Greenways! VCL. The Saxons played away to the Quesada Lions where they unfortunately lost on all rinks so the less said the better but good luck next week. The Vikings were at home to the Emerald Isle Dukes, all games were incredibly close and well fought, the Vikings finished with three wins plus the long game, well done to Ladies Singles Lin Watkins 21-18. Triples Frank Barclay, StJohn Broadhurst & Gary Thorpe 21-15 and Rinks Ron Smith, Jeff Neve, Bill Corbishly & Eric Bishop 17-15. Shots, VB 90(8) - 82(4) EI.

#Costa Blanca South Bowls Roundup

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sunsetsover · 4 years

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Talk about yesterdays episode.. tell me everything you enjoyed in detail lol.

first of all lemme just say i’m SO SORRY this took me so long to get to i know i said i’d answer this like last sunday but sometimes shit happens!!! but you asked for me to go into detail so i very much went into detail so!!! buckle in!!!

i’m doing this in bulletpoints for clarity otherwise it will just be an incoherent mess lmao

(also for reference this is abt the 8th nov ep aka the ‘you’re my boyfriend’ ep!)

ok so let me preface by saying i fuckin adored this ep it’s like god tier for me rn i love ben and pam’s relationship so mf much i hope she comes back soon

like the fact that she just knew!! she knew smth was going on w callum and ben more or less straight away and ok granted those two were not exactly being subtle what with the domestic they were having in the middle of the albert but u know... for all she knew callum was straight and had just broken up w whitney so the fact that she knows ben well enough to just be able to Know smth was goin on despite all of that?? i love that it says so much abt their relationship!!

and then her being the nan that she is and taking it upon herself to fish for information with jay like ‘callum seems nice.... shame abt whitney 👀’ and then jay covering for their asses by not saying anything but pam is Not Stupid and jay was also tellingly vague so she was instantly like i see 👀👀

and then ben entering the parlour shouting about ‘bring out your dead’ or w/e it is he says like the little shit he is and pam rolling her eyes and just the easy affection of that whole interaction like her gently slapping his face and calling him a little devil like ur damn right he is!! almost literally!! but there’s sm overt affection and love there and it’s so nice to see bc ben doesn’t really get that from anyone else (he does from callum now, and jay in certain situations, but it’s just different u know?? like u dont even see that energy from his own mum v often so it’s just... nice to see idk)

like i just love her she has such nan energy and it’s so comforting and warm and she needs to be around forever not just for ben but for jay and lola and also callum like ? pls come back forever pam

ben innocently trying to help callum out by getting him promoted to manager when he hears jay is gonna take a step back like!! he was really just tryna help bc he knew callum was struggling w money... and alright, he probably shouldn’t have meddled and i get why callum wasn’t happy abt it (i’ll get to that) but i also truly believe that that wasn’t him tryna control the situation or interfere or whatever but him genuinely trying to help out his bf and jay was gonna take a step back anyway so it wasn’t even like he was the one to suggest it or anything idk i just thought as misguided as it might have been it was very sweet and thoughtful

also the fact that ben’s reaction to jay being like ‘i suppose callum could be ready to be a manager’ was basically ‘yeah man have you seen him in that suit!!! he makes my dick hard!!!’ like !!!!!!! he was so sincere and enthusiastic as well like he’s fucking diabolical i love him sm ..... pair that with jay’s reaction basically just being like ‘........................ anyways’ sdkfjsdkfsl iconic scene

and then later!!!! you’ve got ben practically chasing callum into the parlour when he sees him go in there!! he’s so excited to see callum and tell him the good news abt the promotion!! bc he’s done good!!! he’s helping!!! bc he knows damn well he’s in the doghouse bc of what had happened with pam and like the energy he radiated when he walked into that parlour was very much ‘i am coming to u w my tail between my legs bc i know i fucked up but instead of saying sorry i’m going to give u the sad eyes and hope u relent’ and like u can see he was practically buzzing out of his skin as he waited for jay to tell him abt the promotion and he’s looking at callum like ‘look! look at what i did!! i’m fixing it! i’m making up for my mistake!’ bc this is obviously how he thinks he can fix things instead of idk having a conversation and talking abt things but!!! i love it ben’s so cute

but ofc it backfires bc callum doesn’t want ben to fix things!! he doesn’t need ben fixing things!! he can look after himself! and we the audience know it wasn’t like ben went to jay and was like ‘you need to promote callum bc he’s struggling with money’, it was more of a two birds one stone situation. but ofc callum doesn’t know that, and it comes across very much as ben meddling and also - as callum says - very hot and cold. like ben can’t tell pam abt their relationship and will ignore him for hours but will (seemingly) wade in like some kind of knight in shining armour bc callum said he’s having money troubles? nah. i said it at the time but i completely agree w callum’s reaction, i would have reacted the same way if i were him. and maybe on any other day callum wouldn’t have reacted so strongly, but after what had happened that morning w pam it’s completely understandable why he goes off on one.

and like poor ben is so confused like he obviously really thought this would be good news and put him back in callum’s good graces but ofc it doesn’t bc what callum needed was an explanation and apology. and you can see how confused and crestfallen he is bc he doesn’t want to fight w callum and he really didn’t want to make things worse but he evidently has and not only that but jay is there witnessing his massive fuck up in action. and u can just tell from the body language that he straight up doesn’t know what to do or say so he’s just kinda floundering bc he really thought he could fix what had happened with pam bc what? he half talked jay into giving callum a promotion? bless him lmao

then he goes full grovel mode - even if he is still very ben about it - and is leaving him voicemails (meaning he’s tried to call him multiple times, he probably tried texting too lmao) and moping abt in the cafe looking all sad and stressed and it’s just so good bc he knows he fucked up and he’s trying not to let it fester which is a v good and v adult thing to do. plus the juxtaposition of ben being like ‘u know ur gonna forgive me so stop being a diva and call me back’ and then that soft little ‘please 🥺’ tacked on the end??? delicious

and then pam walking up to him and standing there and just sighing. like not a word, she just stands there and sighs like dkjfkjsdkfjlsdkf mood !!

no but ok that whole scene of ben and pam in the cafe really had me welling up like just. everything about it. the layers to it all. and i won’t sit here and dissect every little thing even tho i probably could bc we’d be here all day but like just. all of it.

like pam’s exasperation at ben not telling her about him and callum (bc obviously she’s found out from someone - probably honey, who wouldn’t think to lie abt it if pam asked outright), ben not even being marginally surprised that she knows bc even he must know how obvious he’s been, and she was bound to find out from someone. the fact that he jumped when she raised her voice and pointed at him - i could make a whole separate post about that honestly that just. says so much about ben. but yh.... the fact that she knew without him even having to open his mouth that ben was gonna say it was to spare her feelings (like that’s essentially what he says to callum later in the ep). the fact that he didn’t really have a good excuse to offer her and he knew that. his sad little face and the fact that he made himself smaller and ducked his head like just his body language in general (max bowden is SO good at playing on that shit, he has a way of making ben seem physically smaller in certain situations and i love it sm). ben being like ‘idk i thought it’d be easier’ and pam immediately being like ‘yeah for u not callum!!!’ like the ‘u silly boy!!’ was so heavily implied throughout this whole scene u can practically taste it.

and pam! pam manages to effectively have a go at ben and call him out on his shit without belittling him or being cruel or nasty (and no naming names but like. certain mothers could learn a thing or two 👀) and actually have ben listen to her. because she listens to him and hears him and respects and loves him and he respects and loves her so she can have a go at him and his back won’t go up and he won’t lash out because he knows she’s not going to try and hurt him or be unnecessarily harsh. and that’s why their relationship is so special. also i’m still v bitter abt the way kathy handled calling out ben’s shit as opposed to how pam handled it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

like it’s such a little thing but it’s the way she waited for ben to speak. ben said ‘i didn’t-’ and then cut himself off, obviously either struggling to find the right words or struggling to say them out loud, and she just waited for him. waited for him to find the words, to figure out how to say it. she didn’t rush him or try and put words in his mouth or anything, she just sat there quietly, patiently waiting for ben to explain himself in his own time. that is the difference between her and everyone else, and that’s why ben listens to her. because she listens to him - and i mean really, actually listens rather than just hearing the sound of his voice ygm

and then they get too the root of it all: paul. he says he didn’t want pam thinking he’d forgotten paul - which is only half true, imo. i think he was (and maybe still is) just as scared that he’s going to forget paul. i think he has a lot of unaddressed issues when it comes to paul and what happened in general. and i think he definitely needed permission specifically from les and/or pam that it was ok for him to move on now - bc other ppl have tried to tell him that but u can tell from how he’s reacted in the past that he doesn’t like ppl who didn’t really know paul talking abt what he would or wouldn’t want. but pam did know paul, probably better than anyone. and she’s telling him that it’s ok. that she wants him to be happy, and that’s exactly what paul would want too. and she would know - she’s his nan. so ben can allow himself to listen to her. he trusts her, trusts that she would know what paul would want, how he would feel. and now he has permission to let go of the past a little bit and finally start moving on.

and that’s hard!! like as much as he might like callum, that’s still a hard thing to do for him!! you can see on his face that it’s hard for him to digest and accept what pam’s telling him - that maybe it’s finally time to let go. it’s just as hard for him to confess that yeah, he does care about callum - he gives her the tiniest nod of the head because he can hardly even bring himself to say it, but he can’t deny it either. and it’s hard for pam too, is the thing. you can from the way her voice shakes as she tells him it’s time to start showing callum that he cares how hard she’s trying not to cry. not because she’s not being sincere, not bc she doesn’t mean it or she doesn’t want ben to move on and be happy, but it’s still a hard thing. the world has moved on without paul, and now ben - the last link to him in a lot of ways - is too, and as necessary and as good as that is for him, it doesn’t make it any easier for them. grief is a weird and difficult thing and i think they both did a good job of portraying the struggle of it in this scene.

and then them having this moment right at the end at the end where they’re just smiling at each other w their heads rested together and it’s not an easy thing and they’re both obviously a bit upset and broken but it’s so sincere and warm and she just pulls him in and kisses his head and he just lets himself be comforted by her and by this point i had a big lump in my chest bc it was a very real and important and sweet moment and i was a lil overwhelmed

the tiny mick and callum scene!! i want more of them!!! we haven’t had a proper mick and callum scene since before the wedding i think and i know realistically it’s bc danny dyer has been doin other stuff and hasn’t been filming much and then when he has been filming obv the focus has been on the ollie/linda stuff but!! i miss them and it was so good to see them acknowledge that they haven’t seen each other much and for mick to acknowledge callum’s relationship w ben (calling it ‘matters of the heart’ 🥺️) it was just Good i love their relationship sm and i miss them and i need more!!

mick being so happy to see pam was just !!!!!!!!!! like everyone loves pam!!!!!!! please can she come back and stay forever pls

ben’s face when he tried to approach callum only for callum to turn his back on him like that boy was CRUSHED and he didn’t know what to do like he just stood there for a moment unsure what to do w himself and it was Gud

the shot of callum drinking his beer looking all mopey and dejected with ben staring at the back of his head obviously pining even if he wasn’t in focus and then pam telling ben to basically get his shit together and fix this and practically shoving him towards callum while ben’s lookin like he’s trying to psych himself up and mick’s just there looking between all of them trying to figure the whole thing out??? high art

ben approaching callum looking visibly nervous and out of his depth... and then callum seeming genuinely surprised that ben had come over... bye

the fact that the first thing ben said was ‘i’m sorry’!!! ben saying he understands why callum flipped out the way he did!!! callum saying he understands that ben was just trying to help!!!! ben acknowledging that callum is hurt and upset and then explaining why he did what he did and how he felt but still acknowledging that he hurt callum!!! the fucking communication!!!!!!!! like honestly it hasn’t been smooth sailing for these two so far but they always seem to be surprisingly good at communicating and talking when smth is going wrong, at least after the fact (esp ben) and i LOVE that it’s so healthy!!

callum doing the very callum thing and being like ‘it’s fine, i get it’ even tho he’s clearly still upset bc he doesn’t wanna rock the boat but then ben being like ‘no, it’s not fine! what i did is not fine! you don’t have the pretend that it is!’ and callum seeming lowkey taken aback by that :-(

(pam and mick just watching on in the background of all of this like the pseudo parents they are like honestly??? maybe the best part of the scene LMAO)

that little bit of nervousness before ben says ‘you’re my boyfriend’ like he said it in a very sure way but you could tell he was nervous bless him... and then the way callum’s face lit up but he tried to hide it and not smile and play it cool with his ‘you’ve never called me that before’ but then it cuts back to ben who has the biggest smile on his face but u can tell he’s tryna suppress it a lil too but failing miserably AND THEN shy ben makes an appearance w his little ‘well you are, aren’t ya?’ like he just wants to be sure!! he wants to ask so callum has the opportunity to say no (though judging by both of their faces he knew callum wasn’t gonna say no lmao) but he’s still ben so he’s gotta ask in this roundabout way... man it’s so cute

combine that with callum’s little pout and squint like he was pretending he really had to think abt it and the tone of his little ‘yeah’ like he was like ‘i suppose so’.... the subtle banter of it all i love it.... but he can’t keep it up for long bc then he’s the one with a massive smile on his face like bro... the sun doesn’t even shine that bright

and then ben’s little disbelieving ‘yeah?’ like he had to make sure :-(

AND JUST PAM AND MICK BEING LIKE AWWW WHEN THEY KISSED AND MICK BEING LIKE ‘HOW LOVELY’ AND JUST STANDING THERE SMILING AT THEM IT TOOK ME OUT FR

ben asking callum if he’s happy and callum tapping ben’s chin and telling him he is...................... the two of them looking at each other Like That....... talented brilliant incredible amazing etc

pam being like ‘my work here is done’ i love HER

ben making a point of being like ‘pam i want you to meet my boyfriend’ he’s so fuckin cute i love him

the whole pam and callum exchange from the hug to her holding his hand and telling him how lucky he is to have ben and then telling callum that ben has the biggest heart of anyone she knows but saying it to ben bc she knows he needs to hear that too bc like... when has anyone EVER said that about ben?? when has anyone ever thought that about ben?? but she sees through all the bullshit and sees him for the kind, soft-hearted, loving but equally damaged boy he really is and she wants callum to know and understand that but also for ben to know that too and i’m crying just thinking about it bc you can see ben’s face change and how emotional he starts to get not only bc it’s pam and everything that must be going through his head abt paul, but also just?? someone being kind to him?? saying smth nice?? god i’m broken

like pam really almost had me in tears in this scene genuinely esp when she was clearly getting emotional (as was ben) and she took both of their hands and told them to look after each other, given everything that happened with paul, and them both saying ‘we will’.... like that really fucked me up.... it felt like a Moment.... and then follow that up w pam and ben resting their heads against each other and whispering ‘i love you’ and it was so warm and full of love and adoration .... the ‘i hate goodbyes’.... the palm kiss.... the fact that ben looked like he was abt to cry as pam left... i was a broken woman truly

and then they just went on as if nothing happened and they didn’t just have a very significant relationship moment with the ‘i am lucky’ ‘i’m glad you realize it’ banter lmao

ben being like ‘u have the support of ur boyfriend 🥰️’ when callum was explaining he wanted to leave the parlour like he really couldn’t keep that word out of his mouth huh 🥺️

and the way he grabbed callum’s hand but only managed to get 3 fingers and then callum putting his hand on top of ben’s like for some reason that really fucked me up......... like gays and hands am i right

the journey ben’s face went on when callum told him he wanted to join the police.... the way it went from ‘haha good joke’ to ‘..................... wait he’s being serious’ to ‘oh god what the fuck’ was amazing lmao

and then him interrupting jay and lola w his massive dramatic freak out was so fucking funny like the way jay just shoved lola off his lap when ben come in KILLED me honestly and like ben’s on the verge of a breakdown and his brother and the mother of his child are just taking the piss and laughing at his expense.......... i love family

yeah so perhaps i went a bit overboard w this one but i did make you wait like a week and a half so perhaps this will make up for it lmao ??? but rlly tho i loved this ep sm there was so much good abt it and i want to keep pam forever thank u for ur time 💖💖

#ballum #eastenders #i fully went overboard with this looking at it now but i have a lot of pam feelings allow me #anon #question

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