#i love love so much :( and theyre nothing but all the love that their hearts can contain

[psychicbergara]

what really hurt me was how many people said “it’s unfair theyre making us pay for something we never wanted!” that stupid “all we wanted was you” post went around as if the commenter was in the right, but like. Fuck man. I can’t imagine the feeling of putting your heart and soul into something, putting all this effort in, only for the people who for years had been telling you they loved it to turn around and say all that work was something they never wanted in the first place. That it means nothing to them, and that you’re a piece of shit for assuming some people did.

Like I understand some people can’t afford it, but The amount of people outright saying that their work and passion was worse than worthless, and that they’re idiots for assuming their fans liked their work, made me feel horrible and I’m not even the one creating it.

god literally. like you said it perfectly.

i cant even know how much it hurts to hear that their hard work is utterly worthless to many people. and this isnt even remotely comparable, but i love editing videos. it’s what i like to do as a hobby and i love posting them for people to enjoy. but sometimes it hurts when i dont get the traction or reactions i want. thankfully, i havent gotten anything negative. so i’m just imagining how painful it must be to hear that their creative work, something they enjoy putting effort in and want to improve in, doesn’t mean anything to the community they entrusted their work with.

like do people even realize how they sound? it’s crazy

#asks #sophie answers

[renjunphile]

for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative

୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!

୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?

You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.

It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.

"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.

You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.

"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.

"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.

"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"

Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.

"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."

You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion. 

"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."

"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.

You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.

"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."

You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"

Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."

"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."

"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.

You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.

Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.

"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."

"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.

"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"

Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"

"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.

When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.

If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?

That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things. 

You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.

It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."

The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.

In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.

"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.

He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.

"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.

"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."

"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."

It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.

"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.

Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.

"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.

"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."

"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."

You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"

"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.

Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"

"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."

"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."

You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.

Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.

That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.

The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.

"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.

Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"

You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."

Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"

16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.

"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"

"Just say it, Y/N."

"I like you?"

It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.

His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."

Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."

Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"

Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"

From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.

He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.

You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.

The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.

You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.

You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.

There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.

"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.

"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"

"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.

"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.

While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.

You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.

Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.

"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"

"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"

"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.

Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.

"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."

You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?

Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.

You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.

"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."

"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."

"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."

You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.

"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.

"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."

"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.

"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"

Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."

"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"

"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"

"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."

"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."

"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.

"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.

"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.

The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.

You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.

He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.

"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.

"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."

Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.

It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.

"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."

You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."

There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.

Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.

You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.

You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.

In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.

Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.

It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.

You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."

"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."

Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."

You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."

"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."

"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.

"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."

"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."

"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."

Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.

"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."

"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.

It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.

"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.

"Eunseok,"

"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.

"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"

"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."

"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."

"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"

"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."

You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.

You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.

"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"

"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.

"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.

"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.

"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."

"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"

There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.

"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."

"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.

"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."

"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."

"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"

Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.

You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.

"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."

"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."

You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.

Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.

You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.

You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.

To the one I'll always choose.

It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.

You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.

There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.

While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.

When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.

You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.

-

On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.

"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.

You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."

Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"

"Did you not want me to see it?"

"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."

"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.

"You do?"

"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"

"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."

Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.

"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.

Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."

You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."

"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."

"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.

Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."

"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."

Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.

"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."

You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."

Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"

"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"

Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."

"And the girls you brought around at university?"

"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."

You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.

"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.

"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."

"I don't know if I can believe that."

He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."

"What?"

"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.

"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"

"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"

You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"

You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.

You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.

There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.

The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.

"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.

Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.

He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.

"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"

"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.

Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.

The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'. 

You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"

The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.

"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.

Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."

"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.

"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."

"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"

He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."

You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z

You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.

In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.

He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.

"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.

"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."

"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"

"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."

"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.

You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."

The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.

Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"

"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."

You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.

"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.

"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"

It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.

"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.

The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.

The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"

The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."

You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"

"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.

You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.

"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.

Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.

Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."

"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."

The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."

You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.

The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.

"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.

"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"

You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."

Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.

When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.

"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."

You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.

"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."

She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface

"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.

"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.

"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."

"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.

At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.

When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."

It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.

The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.

"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.

You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.

The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.

With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.

You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.

With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.

He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.

"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.

He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."

"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"

Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.

"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.

His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."

"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."

Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."

"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.

His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."

Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.

There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.

"Seok-"

He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."

You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.

He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.

"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"

When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.

"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."

You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

#eunseok #riize #riize au #eunseok au #song eunseok #riize fic #riize fanfic #riize x reader #eunseok x reader #eunseok fluff #riize fluff #riize angst #riize imagine #riize one shot #riize fic recs #eunseok fic recs #arranged marriage au

[lilaccatholic]

how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk #i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting #it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer. #i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love. #im not the type you launch a thousand ships for. #so what's left? #who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture. #i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for. #im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now. #except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving. #i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around. #how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too. #its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like #ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out. #ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing #the trail? how do i become myself happy and free? #because i WANT to be more #i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy #but i dont know how to get there #and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me #all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself #i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do #anyway. #anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol #im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good. #please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM #lilac rambles

[whatsanameanyway]

honestly still the biggest personal tragedy of session 5 is that when grian joined gem in the tower building. in gems episode, there were almost a solid 10 minutes of just that. them hanging out, calm, peaceful, no danger, away from people that could hurt them . and guess what ? grian left LESS THAN 3 MINUTES OF THAT IN HIS EPISODE dbjksffejw

#rant in tags #gems episode straight up got me to start drawing the most complicated fanart in a year or so just of that scene #and grian just. cut most of it out #(gem probably did too. but come on g. only 3??) #i think i know what im feeling. i called it in a yt comment on session 2 or so #im clinging to the last remains of peace and happiness we get #i watched every pov and i think this episode grian's is my favourite (even if he cut out most of my fav scene overall) #he almost died' rigged a charity' loved bdubs and built a tower. it was nice #he barely interacted with the reds (love them too but). he was just hanging out. the cleo&etho&grian & i guess bdubs team is my fav #literally not a single spec of danger in that house. all positivity (thanks etho for starting the 'we love bdubs' day too bdw) #even martyns single trap got disarmed immediately #i was hoping for an grian & cleo team because of the potential for chaos but i think i love this more at least for now #ive been thinking too. the heart foundation honestly stresses me out so much #i love them with all my heart. i do #but i dont trust bigb at all. havent since episode one and wont start now. feels like that man has no loyalty to tango and skizz #hes very fun dont get me wrong but he makes me worried. i still have no idea what his deal is #theyre also very open. no fortification ( i like walls theyre safe) #and their system is very easy to rig (as shown in this episode) #(also bigb straight up saw grian throw his quartz in and said NOTHING) #“this is a death game! why do you not want death? what are you even here for?” SHUSH #this is all /positive. its good stress #(and i love death and betrayal martyn's win is my fav ending so far) #i just got too used to the peace and happiness at the beginning #i did not mean to rant this much but i have a lot of feelings about this series i dont have anywhere else to express #trafficblr #secret life

[rnaeborowski]

do u guys know how badly i do not want to go to my wife's parents......it takes all my willpower to be civil with them.

#they've treated my wife like shit her entire life and are also homophobic #not in a violent way but in the way that they are obviously uncomfortable w their daughter marrying a women (nb) #theyre the kind of people who posts everyrhing on fb and they posted abt being at their nephews daughters baptism #but their own daughters wedding? nothing. not a peep. quiet as a mouse. #i KNOW they wouldve been posting like crazy if she had married a man #it broke my wife's heart and i hate them for it #anyway thats not all the shit theyve done but i dont wanna think abt them anymore #honey if u see this i hope its ok i talk abt it #love you so much and ill support u the whole time we're there #txt #del later

[ikigaisvt]

listened to circles and i just ☹️ i teared up even though i wasn't sad

#i hold this song so close to my heart #it just heals me in ways nothing could ever do #(except for my cat & svt) #to me circles is like the beginning of me trying to live again #seventeen & circles represents this for me #it's thanks to them i started living a little more and trying and getting happier and im just so grateful #theyre my family and theyre my support system #i dont have the luck to have a secure support system so #my cat my friends who all live super far away and my seventeen are my support system #sometimes i wish it was easier but i like having them #i love my seventeen so much #u dont know anything but thank u boys 💗 for being my happiness #sammy's podcast #seventeen 💌

[alchemiclee]

4 and 20 for the Artist Ask Game! 👀

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

not sure about character...but subject? probably poses/anatomy in general. still bad at it. brain can't quite comprehend shapes lol all the anatomy tutorials just go in one ear/eye and out the other. no brain process in between 😅 same with lighting/shadows. basic art things make me trip and fall

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

eyes?? do people think eyes are hard? I always enjoyed doing eyes. maybe hair. hair is fun but i've seen many people say it's hard

#ask games #thank you for sending numbers!!!! #answering these im realizing how much i pretend i know what im doing but i know nothing even after endless tutorial videos and #reading stuff and taking classes. its more of a fake it to you make it and wing it and hope for the best lmao #just follow your heart and dont use your brain at all. head empty when arting. no thought process there. no technical skils applied #maybe this is why people who have done art fkr 3 years tell me to practice more. usuallt theyre art students. they see lack of skill #even though ive been drawing for like 25 years fhdhdjddnkdd #cant think technically and follow the “rules” when brain wanders off into some orher realm and forgets everything and experiments #and forgets how reality works. is hard to explain but my brain ks bad at learning and everything it “learns” is oil while brain is water #people love telling me “watch youtube videos! read things! take a class!” as if that will magically make oil stay mixed with water #oops how did this turn to a whole ramble lmao #lee rambles #but seriously i feel like people see this lack of skill and just feel my art is off and maybe that's why i dont have successful art #after 25+ years of “practice” and at least 10 years of posting it online. is that the secret? having a brain that can acrually learn #and apply what it learns. instead of relying on instinct or something lmao. in that case im screwed 😆 #it miggt just be an uncaught learning disability of some kind because i cant explain why my brain is so bad at learning things! #ok done rambling. didnt mean to make this a ramble rant post lmao

[tailsz]

Demon slayer men boyfriend headcannons‼️

(NSFW INCLUDED)

——————————

Includes : Tanjiro , Zenitsu , Inosuke , Tomioka , Sanemi , Tengen , Obanai , Muzan , Akaza , Douma , and Kokushibo

(this is my first post so bear with me AND english isn’t my first language so sorry for mistakes!)

—————————————————————————————————————

Tanjiro!

okay so we ALL know this guy has the sweetest heart so expect a lot of lovely dovey gestures such as….

Cute little morning letters if he leaves before you or you just don’t work as a demon slayer!

something along the lines of “i made you breakfast eat it before it gets too cold!! I hope you have a lovely day and i love you so so much”

(if ur parents are still alive 😍) he will absolutely win them over EVEN IF THEYRE THE MOSG HARDCORE PEOPLE EVERRR

he has a way with people what can you say

multiple lunch dates a week are a must! you guys go out and try as as many restaurants when you guys go on missions together if ur a demon slayer!

if not he will personally bring you takeout from his missions!

you and nezeko bonded a lot and she LOVES when you play with her hair it makes her sleepy ASAP (tanjiro walked in during the middle of this and his heart almosy exploded)

for y’all’s free time you both decided to try new hobbies together like Yoga, art , dancing ETC ITS VERY CUTE MOMENTS!

NSFW!

he’s a soft dom! but if you bring up the thought of you topping him he will NOT object

OH HE IS SUCH A ROMANTIC IN BED

Sex with him is literally the embodiment of “love making” because he showers you with love and pleasure

MISSIONARY 100% OF THE TIME

he is vanilla but that doesn’t matter because he’s drowning you with praises and caressing your perfect body <3

his aftercare is literally going to heaven and back

he’ll massage you and whisper sweet nothings into your ears

THIGHS GUY

———————————————

Zenitzu!!

at the beginning he’s really REALLY awkward

might even like be hella weird towards you (because you’re the first woman/man he’s ever been perused as romantically)

SO GIVE HIM TIME HE’LL GET THERE

Once he does he will quite LITERALLY will kill everyone in a room and then himself for you

you are his princess (your also his knight and shining armor because… well… it’s zenitzu…)

1000% shows you off like a medal of honor to ANYONE AND I MEAN ANYONE

this one time he was blabbing about you to a stranger to the point where said stranger just respectfully told him he doesn’t care

you had to STRAP HIM DOWN to prevent bodily injuries

he likes taking afternoon walks with you , he really enjoys the beautiful site with his beautiful partner

he randomly picks up flowers from the ground and gives them to you because they reminded you of him!

NSFW!!

he is a switch with a bottom preference

the thought of you just absolutely demolishing him will get his body all fuzzy and tingling 🤭

reverse cowgirl is his FAVORITE POSITION OF ALL TIME HANDS DOWN

the nights when it’s not just pleasure he likes to top you and take things slow to show you just how much you mean to him

as well as absolutely showering you with corny praises (he’s so silly!)

HIS AFTER CARE IS ODD

if he’s SPENT he will most likely pass out leaving you in charge of aftercare

if not he’ll just cuddle u to sleep

(totally not because that means he’ll see u naked again in the morning)

TITS GUY

—————————————————————

inosuke!

he didn’t comprehend the fact that you 2 we’re dating 🧍🏽‍♀️

you had to explain to him and half way through the was flustered and asked you to SQARE UP?? (HE HAD A NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT)

like zenitsu he was also very much awkward if not more at the start of the start of the relationship

But not awkward in a hes shy way

NO HES AWKWARD BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO SHOW??? FEELINGS??

because that’s gross

Tanjiro and Zenitsu had to help the guy to at least an OUNCE of a romantic

he’s really not much of one though

his idea of dates or romance of training or fighting w/ you!

you don’t really mind but if it does get to a point where it bothers you by the lack of romance

HE WILL TRY (key word TRY) to be more affectionate towards you!

he sees a pretty rock? it’s yours!

he sees a pretty branch it’s yours!

he sees a cute cayote? It’s you-

the time he actually brought you one you almost SHAT yourself 😓

NSFW!!

oh he’s a dom

he views smexy time as a challenge

so you bringing up the idea of topping is you trying to WIN and he would rather DIE than lose

again the concept was a foreign area to him

and if you both get to the sexual parts for a relationship , he will seek guidance from you!

(while also refusing for you to demonstrate for him because he “knows what he’s doing” 😒

what’s aftercare?

he does not do it at first meaning you are doing it

after a while he’ll start picking up after you and do it himself

(if you tease him about it he will throw you off the bed)

ASS GUY

—————————————————————

Tomioka!

When he asked you out he said

“will you take my hand in a relationship”

it’s as serious as it sounds

he is comfortable as soon as you begin the relationship because of 2 reasons

for him to consider a relationship with you , you’d guys would’ve have to know eachother for a while

and because if you didn’t want him you would’ve said no

AND SINCE YOU DIDNT😍

hes 100% sure you guys will be just fine WHICH YOU ARE :D

little small gestures of affection from you will get his heart flipping like—

holding his hands ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU BEGING CONTACT WITH PINKY TOUCH 😓

(he’s touch starved FEED HIM)

the one time you begged him to let you style his hair was the day that he won’t let you do anything else BUT that

he loves how your fingers feel against his head

sending tingles down his spine of safety yk?

he carries anything you give him in his haori (like little charms!)

he likes it when you whisper sweet nothings into his ears it gets him all giggly

NSFW!!

he is a switch with no preference

he will be whatever you want him to be 😍

when he top’s he can get carried away with eagerness

when you guys have sex he very much loses his mind which is why he can be rough when he tops

HOWEVER WHEN HE BOTTOMS JESUS CHRIST

He will be a whimpering mess

being your little slut asking for more n more <3

being a hashira he can and WILL last very long

he’s 1000% into hair pulling both giving n reviving

as u guys last longer n longer into the relationship he will be more open to risks 😍

(like public sex)

this one time did the deed in a public bathroom in a restaurant while the rest of the hashiras were waiting on the food 🤭

He will run a bath for the 2 of you afterwards and fall asleep in each others arms<3

he’s an ass guy

—————————————————————

Sanemi!

like giyuu , for him to consider a relationship with you , you have a LONGG history

it took him a while for him to actually ask you out 🧍🏽‍♀️

it got to the point where he was going to lose you to someone else because of how long it took

shinobu “helped” to ask you out

and by help i mean he forced him to ask you out in front of her

shinobu top tier wingwoman fr fr ‼️(she had enough of him wasting an opportunity so she took matters into her own hands)

he will absolutely NOT do PDA (at least at the beginning of the relationship)

his ego n pride are too much for that

once he gets over himself he will at MOST hold hands with you ig 😒😒

he forces u to train with him

he is an AMAZING cook and makes you breakfast n lunch (house husband material!!)

he’s also surprisingly good at doing hair whether it’s short or long! (he makes u buns a lot )

he’s such a romantic behind closed doors

shinobu caught him in the middle of that act and while she didn’t tell anyone…

she teased him to DEATH

NSFW!!

oh he’s a MEAN top no questions asked

he will degrade you to the BONE (which you don’t mind 🤭)

he’s also very VERY rough hitting and attacking ALLL of your sweet spots on your body (inside as well 😋)

he loves calling you a needy slut 🤭

ONE TIME. he has a wet dream where you topped him and... HE WOKE UP WITH THE HARDEST BONER OF HIS LIFE

he will never ever EVERR bring up the idea of u topping him ( if you bring up he MIGHT let it happen🤨 he’s so stubborn)

HE IS SO MEAN WHEN IT COMES TO ORGASM.

if he’s fucking you because he’s jealous or you pissed him off???

he’s going to deny your orgasms for an hour ☠️

SEX DRIVE?? MEDIUM

STAMINA IS . HIGHHHH

he’s pretty average with aftercare , he’ll bring u water n a towel

on a good day you both will shower together! (50/50 chance that y’all will fuck again!)

he’s a thigh guy

—————————————————————

tengen!!

what’s another wife to the list?

all four of them (tengen n his wives) found you very attractive at first sight and they had NO shame into admitting that

after knowing you for a while THEY ALL asked you join the relationship! it caught u off guard 😨

when you entered the relationship they literally all wanted u for themselves 😓

tengen is SUCH A ROMANTIC AND WILL ABUSE PDA SO MUCH

if you’re a fellow hashira my god he will tease you in public so much??? and you’re like FOR WHAT???

hashira meetings will get HELLA awkward with both of y’all (everyone is just like “this again??☠️”

like zenitzu he will FLEX U SOO BAD especially to single folks because in his eyes being single is such a skill issue 🤨

his form of affection is expensive gifts so

EXPECT TO BE PAMPERED WITH A LOT OF JEWELRY 🤭 ( we love sugar daddies )

he also refuses to NOT take y’all on fancy restaurants because anything other than that is LAME AND TACKY 🤨

MATCHING OUTFITS ARE A MUST!!

after he retired, you guys have religious weekly movie nights a lot (you all take turns in picking movies)

NSFW!!

OKAY SO TENGEN IS A SWITCH WITH A PREFERENCE ON TOPPING

now he has 2 different ways of going about it

if it’s sex on One on One , HE IS SO MEAN??

he will 100% mock you during the whole thing

mocking when you choke on air or a moan is his specialty 😓😓

seeing you cock drunk will drive him CRAZY

thighs are so HOT TO HIM (thigh highs are a must!)

he leaves so many bite marks and bruises on your inner thighs

HIS HANDS ARE HUGE DAWG

he likes fingering before fucking and GOD HES SO GOOD AT FINGERING?

he can n WILL make u come more than twice with just his fingers😓

it’s a the whole group sex with him n his wife’s

he’s a sweetheart! taking care of his little princess nasty needs!

when he bottoms with all 4 of you on him he gets so cocky 😒

he loves how you all take care of HIS nasty needs in such a good way

HAIR PULLING

and he’s very much into orgasm denial HES A JERK

def a tits guy

bdsm king

—————————————————————

OBANAI ( i love him sm ) <333

okay uh

before y’all started dating he was so shy around you because??? you’re so??? perfect?????

if you so much as breathe into his direction he will literally die

he asked u in the most romantic cliche ever (but it doesn’t matter because he pulled it off so well??)

he made you follow little notes at night eventually leading to a tree that had a saying “will you be my mine and go out on a date with me?” with 2 boxes saying yes and no

at first you were confused until you saw a familiar snake 🤭 making you giggle you chose the yes box!

HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BC HE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING HELLA CRINGE 😓

moving onto the relationship…

he is literally the perfect boyfriend

when he gets needy n wants to talk to u , he sends kaburamaru to fetch you!

kaburamaru literally loves u too ! ( obanai also send u flowers through him!)

he gets jealous easy like VERY

he’s very protective of you ! and he expects the same because you are his and he’s all urs <3

will literally end the bloodline of ANYONE who talks smack abt u

at first, yalls kisses would be with his mask on. he still wasn’t ready to let that open yet

after a whole LONG while , he got enough confidence to kiss u with his scars and everything (which u appreciated and enjoyed very much <3)

he likes holding pinkies while walking together

he’s not really a fan of PDA but if someone is trying to flirt with u????

oh U BETTER BET HES GOING TO BE ALL OVER U (u don’t complain)

he makes flower crowns for the both of y’all daily <33

y’all have hella picnic dates it’s getting out of hand atp! y’all barely eat at home

NSFW!!

obanai is a top with 2 sides to him…

A- he can be the most sappy romantic when y’all have sex

OR B- HES LITERALLY BEING ASSHOLE TO YOU

There’s in NO between

when hes being a jerk he denies orgasms

and his liking to marking is x10

he loves leaving bitemarks he knows u can’t hide🤭

def into u riding him but HES in total control

u brought up that you like it when he puts his hair in a pony tail when y’all have sex so HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME

he’s not really much of a risk taker

will not stop unless your trembling😋

if he’s being sweet he’s take things slow making sure your enjoying yourself as well as him <3

will whisper sweet nothings <3

HIS EARS ARE SENSITIVE‼️‼️

he treats u like a goddess in aftercare

will get u water , a towel , a warm bath , tons of cuddles and a lil snack 😋

HES INTO BONDAGE

HES AN ASS GUY 🤭🤭

—————————————————————

Muzan 😨

to how you got together? you don’t even know

if your a human , you ran into while im a hurry ! you work at a flower shop and was carrying flower pots getting dirt all over his clothes

now he was so ready to end the puny moron who ran into him but..

when he saw you apologizing and apologizing your heart out he felt something? what the hell was that? well it’s not like matters… 😁

If you’re a demon you first of all had to have know him and been loyal to him for CENTURIES for him to even REMOTELY like you

once he does tho you’re always buy his side , like his right hand man/woman! it may seem like he just thinks ur strong but this is his way of spending time with u<33 (while being in denial😓)

now how he asked you out. he didn’t do anything fancy! he just called you in and he straight up told you he liked you and would like make yalls relationship more

if you are a human.. he brought you to a demon meeting and told everyone there that if they even THINK about doing ANYTHING to you he will turn them inside out and throw into the sun<3

he thinks akaza is the best fit for his lovely human wife! you guys get along rlly well

he will keep DOUMA FARRRR AWAY FROM YOU.

koko and u like to read and drink tea together! he finds ur being calming

if you’re a demon everyone already knows u but know muzan expects equal respect from them to you!

though he can be very cold at blunt at time , he can still be romantic towards you!

he likes buying you expensive things to make u feel like a queen

if a human or demon disrespects you in ANY WAY not matter how big or small?they will be no more 😓

NSFW!!

oh man no matter how i see it.

HE

IS

A

TOP

he’s the demon king he expects to be in full control at ALL times and 9 times outta 10.. HE IS MEAN TO U

Doesn’t matter how much he loves you , you will never be superior to him 🧍🏽‍♀️

certified brat tamer!

oh he’s definitely into marking you just the thought of owning what’s rightfully his gets him hard

he’s into degradation so much it’s a problem atp☠️

dont ever degrade him tho

he’ll make sure you NEVER walk again

he puts the d in bdsm

will not stop until you’re a whimpering and crying mess only able to scream out his name :(

he doesn’t know if he likes public sec because he doesn’t like the idea of the chance that people have on seeing what only HE can see

ON THE OTHER HAND. THAT MEANS PEOPLE KNOW UR HIS AND ONLY HIS EVEN MORE….

—————————————————————

Akaza!!

Whether your a demon slayer/hashira or a fellow uppermoon, akaza admired you for being strong

after all akaza think people who r both mentally and physically strong r the best as u can tell with rengoku

before he asked u out, he had to come to terms with it , as he felt he was betraying his late wife

after he accepted the fact that’s it’s okay to move on.. he asked you out in the most akaza way!

he got you a bouquet of flowers 💐 with a little note in it telling u about all the things that he absolutely loves abt u! after reading them , he asked you out!

if you’re a demon you both will be more relaxed about people knowing abt you’re relationship!

until muzan found out.. at first he disapproved because he saw no benefits from u two being in love 🤨

but later on seeing how you two empower eachother be GUESSES it’s ok 😒😒

HOWEVER IF YOURE A HASHIRA..

you two r trying to HARD to keep it super lowkey

it’s mostly night dates n visits you guys can do :( but it’s ok u guys make it work

because the SECOND one or both of ur masters find out… YALL R DEAD

REGARDLESS akaza is very flexible with himself (as a metaphor BUT HE PROBABLY IS LITERALLY)

he absolutely LOVESS self care nights with you!!

talking shit while doing eachother a face masks is one of his favorite pastimes! (the pretty mama gotta do what he can to stay pretty DUH)

douma teases him abt u so much it’s driving him mad

especially because douma is hella touchy w/ h JUST to piss akaza off

which it always ends with douma head on the floor😨

NSFW!!

akaza is 100% a switch with a top preference

he teases u a lot.. BUT IF YOURE A HASHIRA HE STRAIGHT UP MOCKS U😓😓

like he’ll say things like “i thought hashiras we’re supposed to have a lot of stamina.. what’s wrong :(“ ALL WHILE HES SMIRKING

he likes eating you out before fucking you

THE THINGS HIS TOUNGE CAN DO TO UR BODY 😓

he is very rough with you, but holds back a bit if you’re human because if he goes all out he will quite literally break u

IF YOURE A DEMON THO YOURE IN FOR IT ALL😍‼️‼️

even when he’s bottoming he’s still being a little asshole 😒

he completely switches up w/ aftercare! he’s such a sweetheart making u a bath for the two if u to cuddle in for a bit<33

he is a THIGH MAN ALL THE WAY his hands r always resting on them 🤭

—————————————————————

douma!

oh my ?

ok douma likes energetic people so that’s a starter for him to start liking you and ofc knowing you for a couple of decades

i think the thing that sealed off his love for you was the fact that you didn’t treat him like he was weird yk?

you talked to him like he was normal person (well demon but you get what i mean! but he’s SOO far from normal ☠️☠️)

MOVING ONNN he asks you out by making a little game out of it! maybe like pictionary or hang man! it’s rlly silly <33

while your dating even if your a demon or human he will treat you like your made of glass

he views you like one of his dolls ! therefore your his precious

he rlly likes it when you style his hair , in fact he asks you to do so regularly

during the summer time it gets rlly humid n hot as hell in japan even at night so he used his demon art to cool u both off !

akaza asked you to blink 3 times if the relationship was not from ur free will when he found out 😨😨

u guys both have matching fans 🤭🤭

muzan has to literally rip his head off because douma won’t stop talking to u during meetings ☠️

HE IS A BRITNEY SPEARS STAN ‼️‼️

NSFW!!

douma is a switch with no preference it just depends on hows feeling that day (it’s mostly bottom)

He is such a bratty bottom i tell you, he just pushes your buttons til u snap

and snapping means you literally demolishing his ass until she can’t even form any sentences :(

oh jesus christ but when he tops?????

praying for u fr fr

douma is unfair as hell

HE WILL DENY YOUR ORGAMS FOR FUNSIES?? like NOTHING ABT THAT IS FUNNY??

he is súper into bondage

AND EVERYTHING HES SO KINKY

never feel afraid to tell this man any of ur kinks even if they’re weird bc douma will try it out with you no hesitation!

his aftercare is a little rocky but it’s nothing too bad..

at most hes get you both waters and y’all will just chill in bed or anywhere

speaking of anywhere.. HE WILL FUCK U ANYWHERE HE DOES NOT CARE‼️‼️

one time muzan heard y’all bc y’all are SO LOUD (he decapatated both of you on the spot)

he is an ass guy oh my god he can’t go a day without touching it 😓

—————————————————————

Kokushibo!!

okay first all i dont think he cares what type of personality u r (extroverted or introverted)

it does take him a while to accept his feelings towards you because he doesn’t many to get distracted from his duties

but when he pushes that aside he just straight up asks you to stay by his side for the rest of time 💐

he doesn’t do PDA because your love life is not the business of others (muzan thanks the lords for this because he does NOT want to see that)

you guys randomly found a black cat following you one time while on a mission and you wanted to keep it with him!

…..YOU HAD TO BEG HIM FOR AN HOUR BUT HE eventually GAVE IN💔

y’all named her Ei (he will never admit but he will kill anyone who harms her bc he loves her sm)

you like to kiss all 6 of his eyes after a long day (he expects you to do it regularly and gets upset when u don’t)

sometimes asks you do braid his hair to change up his hair style 😋

he makes u train with him to he ensure you’re able to defend yourself from anyone!

matching katanass!! (much to his dismay because god forbid y’all do something cute 😒)

hel likes to carry you in piggy back style a lot 😋

NSFW!!

oh he’s a top no doubt

he will absolutely NOT let u top

BUT YOURE OK WITH IT BECAUSE GAWD DAMN

he is so rough with you that’s all he knows what to do<3

before touching you he wants to see you beg for it he LOVES seeing you all pathetic

HE LOVES FUCKING YOU AGAINST A WALL‼️‼️

he loves it because that means your trapped within in him, with no where to go and he has you EXACTLY how he wants you

oh he pulls your hair a lot when you give him head 🤭

he’s always biting your ears bc he knows they’re sensitive 🤭

he loves missionary as the main position because he gets to see all the expressions he’s making you have <3

HE IS A ASS GUYS ‼️‼️

———————————————————

okay that’s it guys! leave me any request i’ll be happy to do so! <33

#demon slayer #kny x reader #kny #tanjiro kamado #kny zenitsu #kimetsu inosuke #giyuu tomioka #sanemi shinaguzawa #obanai iguro #muzan kibutsuji #akaza kimetsu no yaiba #kny douma #kokushibo #demon slayer smut #x reader #akaza smut #muzan smut #obanai smut #giyuu smut #sanemi smut #tanjiro smut #zenitsu smut #inosuke smut #douma smut #kokushibo smut #kny smut #kny fanfic #uzui tengen #tengen smut #lord tengen

[gay-dorito-dust]

HEYYYY

Soo I'm here to rq another Damian x reader(platonic). But real quick, I'm sorry if I'm requesting too much or being a nuisance. Pls lmk if I am so I can stop! It's just hard to find somebody that writes for him like dis.

Anyways, basically the same thing were theyre friends but this time it's a diff scenario. So Damian n reader are obvi friends but theyre also complete oposites. Like Damian is intelegent, focused and meanwhile has reader is a bit dumber, daydreams too much, and kinder. They also get walked over a lot.

So he invites reader over to the manor and she meets his brothers n dad. It's all fine n dandy but they can't help but notice how diff they are.

Bonus points if reader talks positively abt him to his brothers and they're all like "fym he's nice?" And readers all like "fym he isnt?" (They're just not used to being treated like a normal human being) ‼️

Honestly I love writing for platonic! Damian. So pls don’t apologise for anything bc I’m having so much fun rn. 🦦plus I don’t know if this will read well as I’ve written this late at night when o should probably be in bed.

‘Am I seeing things or has Damian finally made a friend.’ Dick whispered to Jason, his eyes unable to tear his eyes away from you and Damian followed Bruce through the manor.

‘Nope, I’m definitely seeing it too.’ Jason replied also looking at you and Damian as if he was looking at the human personifications of night and day.

‘The fact that the demon spawn managed to get a friend sure is…something.’ Tim piped up, having overheard his brothers conversation from standing in between them. ‘I can only hope he didn’t kidnap the poor soul.’ Dick added as he was quick to click onto how Damian kept a hand on your arm, tugging and pulling you along when you stop to stare at a painting in awe for a little too long, gently encouraging you to keep up with him and Bruce by promising to go back to the painting later. Jason then looked over at Tim, ‘any ideas on who they are?’ Tim shrugged. ‘Only the fact that they go to the same school as Damian, share the same art classes and is known for being a little bit of a daydreaming pushover, but despite all that they’re still a kind person.’

Dick smiled sympathetically as his heart ached for you. It wasn’t easy being nice in a city like Gotham, if anything nice ever wandered into the accursed city it seemed as though Gotham itself would stop at nothing to see it destroyed, decimated and become as miserable and as bleak as the city itself; So it was rare to find someone who genuinely could still bring it in themselves to smile whilst in a city like this. And for that Dick had to give you props for being brave enough -and strong enough- to be kind in a place that would gladly take pleasure in stepping over and on you at any inconvenience. For it was truly a sign of bravery at its finest.

‘That kid is sure brave.’ Jason signed, knowing that people like you don’t last in Gotham but it was people like you that Gotham needed the most, but how could a retched place like Gotham heal when it’s always been a rotten city since it’s very conception? He didn’t believe it could be possible but there were always solutions to fighting the problem that seemed impossible to overcome. So who cares if you weren’t the brightest bulb at school? The education system in Gotham was shit anyway the last time he checked and he doubted much had changed when he…well you know…

Tim was silent. He was too busy recognising the protective measures that Damian was taking specifically for you; mainly the hand tugging at your arm anytime he thought you were getting distracted or wandering off elsewhere and muttering about how you need to keep or you’ll get left behind, despite the fact that even if you did Damian would allow himself to fall behind just so that he could walk besides you. While he might be part of the majority that didn’t think he’s ever see the day that Damian brought a friend home, never less a friend who was the total opposite of him. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of relief that Damian finally found a friend, and he knew that both Jason and Dick felt similarly from the looks upon their faces, silently observing how you interact with one another.

The one thing that Tim was confident in was the fact that Damian needed you as much as you needed Damian because you were a beacon of opportunity for his younger brother in many ways that Tim was certain you weren’t made aware of just yet. So while he and his brothers may tease and take this piss about how different you were from Damian, they mean well and express their happiness the only way they knew best; teasing and taking the piss.

‘This library is beautiful Mr Wayne! Do you have any fantasy books?’ You could be heard asking down the hallway, followed by the sound of Bruce softly laughing as he showed you the grand library. ‘This library has any book you can think of and please call me Bruce, it’s not often that Damian brings anyone home for the weekend.’ He says as you looked the Damian confused and a little betrayed. ‘You’ve got friends other than me?’

Damian groaned. ‘No. I don’t, you’re the only friend I’m willing myself to have.’

You smiled and gripped his hand. ‘Aww Dami! That’s so sweet of you to say, despite how brash and blunt you may come across, I’m glad to say that you’re the only friend I’m willing to have too!’ You said without shame. ‘Everyone else isn’t a nice as you are.’ You trailed off while a rare solemn look appeared upon your face as Damian was quick to squeeze your hand reassuringly, Bruce smiled sympathetically. ‘I’m not smart like your son mr Wayne, I can’t help it if things don’t come to me as easy as they do others but I try! I try really heard to do my best at every test but…but people tend to laugh of me because to them I’m either slow or thick.’ Damian’s jaw clenched and his brows furrowed upon being remembered of what people tended to call you.

He hated it and whenever he saw it happen, he was quick to utter some threatening words before taking his usual position as your pseudo-bodyguard for the rest of the school day. At first he wasn’t bothered but when you became restless in your pursuit of being his friend, he remembered vividly how people were mocking and making fun of you for trying to be his friend, that he often regrets not accepting your friendship sooner if it meant being able to be there when it counts.

‘When will you get it that Damian doesn’t want to be friends with someone like you.’ One person said.

‘Then I’ll just have to keep trying.’ You rebutted, still smiling somehow.

Another person scoffs. ‘Get fucking real. You’re a weirdo, no one wants to be friends with a weirdo who so fucking slow at everything.’

You merely shrugged, even when someone’s insulting you, your brain doesn’t recognises it as such. ‘I’m sure he won’t mind.’

‘God you’re so fucking useless that I’m surprised that anyone bothers with you. Let me say this in a way you won’t have to try so hard to understand dipshit. Damian. Will. Never. Be. Friends. With. Someone. Like. You. Ever.’ A third slowly spoke and Damian had heard enough and within a blink of an eye had laid them out flat. You blinked before looking at Damian with a bright smile. ‘Hi Damian! Did you hurt these guys, that’s not very nice.’

‘They insulted you and yet you defend their honour.’ Damian asked incredulously as you both walked down the hallway, leaving the three bullies to groan from their injuries. You shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say that.’

‘They were insulting you.’ Damian reiterated. ‘They insulted your intelligence and your abilities. People like them often hide bigger insecurities than others.’ Damian replied, finding your ability to keep smiling after such things both annoying as it was admirable.

‘Are we friends now?’ You asked innocently enough and Damian knew he had sealed his fate, and so he sighs and looks up to the ceiling. ‘Yes, we’re…friends.’ He mutters and doesn’t do anything to stop you from dragging him to art class.

‘I was alone before Damian.’ You admitted as you looked at Bruce with a smile as you squeezed Damian’s hand in kind. ‘But now he’s here and he’s my bestest friend ever!’ Damian honestly wishes that you respect yourself more because you could claim that he saved you multiple times, but you’d never acknowledge the times where you have saved him by being unequivocally kind, sweet and over all a better person then all of Gotham’s civilians combined. ‘I was finding my first week at school horrid before I befriended l/n.’ Damian admitted as you softly cooed. The boy then swallows thickly. ‘Their friendship is much appreciated.’

‘Aww! Dami!’ You cried as you crashed into him, causing you both to hit the floor in a heap of limbs.

While Damian was cursing mom lethal threats and you were laughing, Bruce had already made his mind up about you and was certain to make sure to have Damian invite you over as much as possible. It was obvious for him to see that you and Damian were good for each other despite your vast and glaring differences, however that’s what worked in your favour, the power to have over come all odds was incredible; not to mention the fact that your friendship with Damian had lasted as long as it has was another impressive feet on top of that. Bruce knows it’s been hard for Damian to fit in and find a friend, but he couldn’t have made a better friend than he did in the likes of you.

You were more than defiantly welcomed back to the manor if Bruce had anything to say about it.

‘Get off of me!’ Damian shouts.

‘Damian, I think my foot is stuck with yours.’ You reply, scared.

‘That’s your own foot- how did you manage to tangle yourself up in yourself? You landed onto of me?’ Damian asked incredulously.

‘Sorry.’ You apologised.

‘Don’t be.’ Damian said.

Bruce smiled one last time before leaving you both alone in the library to untangle yourselves, only to be greeted by Tim, Dick and Jason. ‘Can I help you three?’ Bruce raised an eyebrow at the boys.

‘Nope.’ Dick started.

‘Not really, just…seeing how the little scamps are dealing.’ Jason followed after.

‘Damian? Nice? The same Damian who tried to, oh I don’t know…KILL ME?!’ Tim asked, revealing to Bruce all he needed to know, their breathing behind the library door was telling that they were clearly eavesdropping on the three of you. Jason and Dick looked at him displeased as Tim looked back at them. ‘I’m not the only one of us who thought that.’ He defended himself. ‘I mean it’s nice that he’s looking out for y/n but still that’s not something someone casually forgets.’

Bruce merely leaves Tim, Dick and Jason to their own quarrel, he loves his boys he truly does, but sometimes they’re more trouble than what they’re worth. He can only hope that they don’t scare you off from coming back for good because he was already planning your next visit.

#damian wayne x y/n #damian wayne x you #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne imagines #damian wayne fluff #dc x y/n #dc imagine #dc x reader #dc x you #dc comics x reader #dc fic #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction

[churipu]

hii i hope ur midterms r going well !! ive binge read so many of ur work n js wanted to say theyre so amazing (´꒳`) i wanted a request for toji + any other character of ur choice x reader who stays up late n has difficulty sleeping (fluff),, thank u !! 🤍

𝗜𝗧'𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗔𝗠 !

────── 𝕴 . featuring. toji fushiguro x reader

────── 𝕴 . warnings. cursing, and mentions of toji being soft, i love him.

note. hi nonnie! thank you so much, you're too nice to me, and yes, my midterms went well! it's been so long since i've done the requests in my inbox, which is the sole reason to why i have closed my ask box so i could finish them all! although, the next time i open them, i won't accept requests for a bit. sorry for those who have visited my inbox and have waited for a long time for your piece to be done. // anyways, new theme = new layout!

"why aren't you in bed?"

toji's voice came out hoarse — he cleared his throat and approached you, sitting himself on the couch despite his heart caressing his ears, pleading for him to go back inside the bedroom and just lay back down on the bed.

the cotton surface of the couch dipped just as he practically threw himself down on it, holding back a loud yawn. you raised a brow, shoving the spoonful of cereal you mixed with milk five minutes ago, just before toji emerged from your shared room.

small yellow chips of cereal that had grown soggy, seeping in the white tasteless liquid dispersed into a mush inside your mouth. they weren't even solid as they're supposed to be, "can't sleep, you?"

"you weren't there."

old habits die hard. that's how the saying goes, and you undeniably agreed to that. the night is an old friend to you, never did your eyelids felt heavy when you were supposed to be in bed, asleep. it's not healthy, you're killing yourself doing this.

"you're such a baby," you mutter out, staring into space, feeling your eyes slowly dissociate — jaw moving in a slow motion, biting into wet and mush before you swallow them.

"y/n, it's three am, y' can't keep doing this stuff," toji scratches his nape, leaning his head back onto the couch rest.

despite your eyes staring into nothing, you could hear his words pretty well. in fact, toji had repeated the same words countless of times that you found yourself engraving it into your mind, "i know, i can't sleep. i know it's not healthy, if i could stop it, i would."

"you're scooping nothing, y/n."

this time, his statement pulled you back into reality. looking down to see that you were indeed scooping no soggy cereal chip, nor a drop of milk onto your spoon. chuckling out lightly, you stood up and sauntered over to the kitchen, dumping what was left of your cereal pieces into the sink.

"you should go to bed," you tell him, wiping your wet hands onto your shirt — crumpling up the fabric to soak them in the access waterdrops lacing your fingers, "'ts late."

toji scoffs lightly, "shouldn't i be saying that shit to you?"

no mistakes there. you emitted out a soft sigh, "i'm fine, i'll be back in bed in a few . . ." toji raises a brow skeptically. he never forgot the last time you said that, he woke up alone on the bed — and you were wide awake on the couch, watching the morning news.

"hell no. it's two of us or nobody goes back to bed, 'm not kidding." he mutters out, not realizing how harsh his voice came out as.

brows furrowed deeply, he looks at you. your disheveled (h/c) hair going all point in a compass points, the visible dark shade of exhaustion coloring under your eyes — and the light creases on the corner of your beautiful, tired eyes.

"can you not?" you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose; honestly, you can't blame him at all, he's just a worried boyfriend and you were being stubborn.

"can i not what? worry about my own—" he stops mid sentence and shakes his head. toji was never a man of words, he doesn't express his affection to you through words. he's had moments, not a lot, but he's had them.

toji's a man of actions. he thinks that words mean nothing, which you knew, "'m tired, but i can't sleep, okay? i'll just hang out here a few more minutes and i'll come back to bed. you don't have to stay awake just because 'm awake."

"just shut up."

you stare at him, surprised. parting your lips, you try to speak again but toji beats you to it.

"can't i worry about you or something? you're my partner," he said, his then exhausted eyes now fully refreshed. a tinge of frustration coloring his greenish iris.

your eyes darted around for a bit, searching for words to spout out as a reply, "you don't have to worry about me, 'm fine. i promise. so, can you please just go to bed and stop worrying about me?"

"fuck that," he stands up, with heavy footsteps he darted towards you.

his figure grew in your view as he closes the distance between you and him. with a quick motion, he threw you over his shoulder, letting you dangle over his shoulder. at this point, you were too exhausted to even move a limb so you just laid there, not having the cell to even open your mouth.

toji walks over to the bedroom and he sat you down gently on the bed. on most occasions, he would throw you onto the bed playfully — but this was serious. he's pissed, and you're pissed.

"sleep."

you crane your neck upwards, face scrunching into one of annoyance, "i just told you that i can't—"

"try."

shaking your head, you said, "i can't, i've tried."

his finger brushed over your hair, smoothing them back down. he didn't reply to you. frankly, he finds it hard to be in the current position — as a kid, he was taught to never show his weakness. he grew up in a household full of so much hate that he forgot what love is.

here you were. vulnerable, in a weak state that toji has seen a lot before throughout your relationship. if this was anyone else, toji swore he'd tell them to suck it up because life isn't always what they think it ought to be.

but this isn't anyone else, it's you. y/n. the only person toji has showed his own vulnerable sides to — it's like a punch to his gut when he saw a bit of his younger self in you. he had nobody, and nobody had him.

it's different this time, it's not about him anymore. it's about you. you had him, and he had you.

toji inhaled sharply, his large hands slipping underneath your pits as he gently pushes you up. your feet dangled as he then pulled you into him, his right hand traveled onto the hollow of your back — and his left hand prepped your legs around his torso.

you felt like a child, "what're you doing?"

"shut up," he mutters out into the crook of your neck, "just try to get some sleep."

he pressed his lips onto your skin tenderly, making you shudder at the sudden contact — but you liked it. toji didn't stop, with an arm around your waist, and another under your thighs, he held you close to him.

warm and shallow breaths blew onto your skin like warm lights, it didn't tickle, you bury your head into the crook of his neck. copying his actions, "'m sorry."

toji grunted, "for?"

"just . . . everything," you murmur out.

his grip around your waist tightened, "'ts not somethin' to be sorry of, you can't control it. so just try and get some sleep," he muttered out, rocking side to side gently.

a faint smile appeared on your lips as you pulled your head back slightly, "you're too nice to me."

"don't get used to it," toji rolled his eyes.

"i love you too," you planted a kiss onto his lips briefly before returning your head into the crook of his neck, letting him lull you to sleep for the night.

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #fluff #toji fluff #toji oneshot #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro fluff

[voonroo]

can I request an alastor & teen! reader (like a pre-established familial like bond) where Alastor suddenly sees the reader hanging out with Lucifer so often? like theyre besties outta nowhere and Alastor does not approve of it because he feels his "father" title is being threatened?

I think it'd be pretty funny considering Alastor HATES that man with all of his (dead) heart

The Lucifer Himself? Don't Worry About Him!

⌐‣Alastor & Teen Reader

Want more? Check out the masterlist↩︎

Want to chat? Join my discord server↩︎

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AND THAT IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Alastor & Teen Reader

He's constantly interrupting your guy’s conversations.

“Why hello, my dear!” And it's the third time he’s passed by you.

Will claim to “need your help/input with something that cannot wait.”

He will be patting your head and giving you his full attention with Lucifer in the same room.

If you question him he will just have you off with a stretched smile before saying,

“It's nothing you need to be concerned about, I'm the adult in your life so I will worry about it, and you will not!”

He's worried Lucifer is going to steal his child away that he's put so much love into…

Meanwhile, Lucifer has his own problems with Charlie and has only really spoken to you long enough to remember your name.

But Alastor is convinced the lord of hell is plotting against him.

Alastor is constantly trying to hold your attention whilst making little jabs directed toward Lucifer on how much better of a role model he is.

“Would you care to join me in the kitchen this evening to cook dinner? I truly value our time bonding!”

And he's giving Lucifer the nastiest side-eye.

“Don't worry your little head about that man, he’s not even worth your time so you shouldn't even think about him!”

And it's Lucifer himself he's referring to, and with him in the other room.

And Alastor speaks louder than normal just to make sure he’s heard from the other room.

Word Count: 245

Inbox is CLOSED!! (but it will be opening soon👹)

#gender neutral reader #x reader #no use of y/n #voonroo #gender neutral y/n #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x reader platonic #hazbin x reader platonic #hazbin hotel platonic #platonic x reader #platonic #hazbin hotel alastor x teen reader #hazbin alastor x teen reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel blog #hazbin hotel x teen reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin x teen reader #hazbin x you #hazbin x reader

[astrxealis]

shadowbringers still is one of the songs w my fave lyrics (please listen if you'd like >< /nf)

#authors of our fate / orchestrate our fall from grace / poorest players on the stage / our defiance drives us straight to the edge #a reflection in the glass / recollectiong of our past / swift as darkness cold as ask / far beyond this dream of paradise lost #& then theres also !! honestly the whole song is FUCKING SICK #the road that we walk / is lost in the flood / here proud angels bathe in / their wages of blood / at this the world's end do we cast off #- tomorrow #& then n then #brief our moments brazen and bright / forged in fury tempered in ice / hindmost devils early to rise / sing come twilight sleep when they #- die #heaven's banquet leavened with lies / sating honor envy and pride #and that's not even all yet #i seriously think that ffxiv is an experience that. i wish everyone cld experience IDHWIFHSKBSKWND #BOTH THE REASON FOR THERAPY AND THERAPY ITSELF I KID YOU NOT /pos #my. my expectations and like. Good Story shit is forever ruined by ffxiv i am completely serious LMAO i love you p5 but #i don't think p5 and gbf and fe3h compare to ffxiv for me? but like. theyre all different so this statement is technically false for me #i love them all but nothing hits as much as ffxiv bcs ffxiv FEELS like a mix of these 3 games. it has nier stuff too even !! #as a whole it is THE whole of final fantasy and i just. hold ffxiv in such a huge regard #it's not perfect though for sure but nevertheless ... an amazing game #and the devs are amazing! aaa #so much love in my heart for ffxiv ...... #⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #✩.ffxiv #✩.saved #i can go on forever honestly #Spotify

[tootiecakes234]

Sanji x reader

(You come back from a mission injured. )

You come back to Sanji after you two were on two separate assignments. Initially you’re facing away from him so he’s just relieved that you’re safe. He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your front.

“My beautiful one and only. I’m so happy to see you safe.” Words mumbled because His face is nuzzled up into your neck and he’s breathing in the scent of you. Even though you’re sweaty and gross, you’re his favorite scent in the entire world and that includes his cooking.

“Are you tired?? When we get back to the ship I’ll run you a nice bath yea??” Mind you he says all this in almost a sing song voice.

Normally you would be just as excited as he was, but you know. You know the time he sees your injury he’s going to 1000% flip his shit and you were trying to postpone the inevitable as long as possible.

When Sanji finally looked up he saw the strange looks the rest of the crew was giving and he was confused.

“What the hell are you idiots looking at? Why do you assholes look guilty?”

“Hey you guys can I have a moment alone with Sanji please?”

They all excused themselves and set off very swiftly because they knew the shit storm was a brewing.

He starts pulling his arms from around you but you quickly grab them and hold him still.

“Babe, can you promise me something??”, you whisper in the most even tone you can manage.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you. You know that.” And his arms tighten around you.

“Ok, remember. You’re a man of your word. Promise me you won’t freak out” You start to slowly pull away.

“Why would I-“

“Just promise me ok?”

“I promise me sweet.” And he chuckles a little at how weird you’re being.

The twirl you do around is so achingly slow but Sanji is nothing if not patient with you.

When you finally catch his eye, you see the smile morph on his face.

He is livid. infuriated. No there has to be a word that means “ready to burn down the fucking world and everyone and everything in it!”

“Who! Had! The Goddamn Nerve! To Touch you?!?”

“Saaannjii, baby. It’s fine. I promise you. It’s just a scratch. Chopper checked it out and he said it wouldn’t even need stitches.” Trying to keep the peace was not working. AT ALL.

“Who!? And where are they now?” He was seething.

You could feel hellfire coming off him.

The laceration was a long one coming up from your clavicle and wrapping up right under your chin, but it wasn’t deep. You had managed to dodge most of it.

“Theyre dead and gone. He only got the one chance. I promise, I’m ok. Everyone is ok and safe. So can you breathe?? Cuz I don’t think you’re breathing…”

“Where the hell was everyone when you were nearly KILLED?!”

“Trying to avoid dying themselves. I’m not some damsel in distress, even though I know that’s how you see me.” You had started to get a little testy but you had to remind yourself, he honestly just loved you way too much to be faced with a situation where you could’ve been taken from him.

You slowly get a little closer to him and reach out to grasp his hand, and honestly that touch did more for him than any of your words did.

His shoulders sagged just the slightest amount and you heard him draw in a sharp breath.

“I know you’re upset, you have every right to be, but I’m right here.” You said with all the love you could muster and lifted your other hand to wrap around the back of his neck and scratch at the back of his head.

Another breath and now his eyes were starting to soften.

You smile up at him and that sets his heart back to thumping at the inconsistent speed it always does when you look at him like that.

Next thing you know you’re being pulled into his arms and squeezed to the point where it’s almost taking your breath away.

You don’t realize he’s crying until you feel dampness from where he’s again tucked his head down into your neck.

His words come out all mumbled, “I can’t l-lose you. I truly fucking can’t… you- you’re the only reason my heart beats. The only thing that gives me the strength to draw another breath. I love you. I love you.”

And now you’re crying because damn. This man is everything to you, and the fact that he never fails to make sure you know how he feels the same way if not stronger…. Your heart is just so full.

“I love you too Sanji. And I’m never leaving… you’re stuck with me forever and ever and ever.”

When he pulls back his eyes are all red and puffy.

“You mean it?” His voice sounds all groggy now, like he just woke up. But also bright, like morning sunshine.

“Of course I mean it. You and me always.” You give him a small genuine smile.

“Then marry me…”

#imagine #sanji headcanons #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #one piece x reader #one peice #one piece fluff #one piece thoughts #one piece live action #black leg sanji #sanji #op x reader #op x y/n #sanji x you #op sanji

[sofs16]

clearly

pair lando norris x singer!reader

note if you guys want to decorate my tree with a little note, I’d appreciate it:,)

tree!

++ dont be a silent reader pls hehe

ln4updates

liked by 10, 475 others

ln4updates Lando goes live on twitch again and mentions his longtime crush, yn. (she’s a** — i got the subtitles wrong)

view all 261 comments

ynslover F1 and yn?!? 😭😭😭

norrizznutsz THE BUTTON UP O HTMGOFD

user73 if i was yn, i’d be dead. lando.jpg yn

⤷ ln4updates mans has no shame 😭

landonorris

tagged: yn liked by yn, and 7,373,383 others

landonoriss that’s a wrapppppp 😁

view all 263,383 comments

user33 the thirst trap right before the yn tagged slide 😭😭😭

yn congrats, lando 🧡🤍

⤷ landonorris thankyou so much! your music was my wakeup music

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ] ⤷ landonorris thank you so much, yn! your music was always blasting at the mclaren garage 🫡

⤷ yn awwww thank you AHAHAHA hope to meet you some time! ⤷ landonorris See you at your UK show :)

⤷ yn omg what!!!! see you soon!!!

⤷ carlossainz55 DMS exist

[(carlossainz55) landonorris: DELETE THAT CARLOS STOP SHUTUTP STOP]

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ]

⤷ yn AHAHAH, come in them then 😝

(LANDONORRIS) yn just followed you back!

[ (landonorris) carlossainz55: You’re welcome]

yn

uk, manchester

liked by landonorris, and 12,462,299 others

yn cop or drop???

view all 1,484,484 comments

landonorris cop 👮‍♀️

⤷ yn thought dms existed?? :)

⤷ user4 oh ITS HAPPENING. user44 lando thinks he’s real slick with commenting ‘cop’ 4 seconds after this was posted 😭

ynspeed yn’s response to lando’s thirst trap:

⤷ yn landonorris isn’t the only one who can do that

⤷ user2 i bet lando is dying rn

yn

manchester, uk

liked by landonorris, and 9,284,019 others

yn and that’s the end of the silence between songs tour 😵‍💫😵‍💫manchester, you are something else 🧡 i’m glad it was you closing this magical tour! thank you, thank you, thank you!

view all 463,585 comments

user3 the orange heart???? something is a little 🐟hy around here…

⤷ user4 I CANT WITH THE FISH EMOJI😭

ln4updddts WHERE’S OUR YNLANDO CONTENT!!

lando.jpg

liked by yn, and 3,586,203 others

lando.jpg I woke up happy, watched the sun rise. I wonder why

view all 219,456 comments

yn the I Wonder caption 🥹🥹🥹

⤷ lando.jpg Too good of an opportunity to not use it

yn i adore you

⤷ lando.jpg i adore YOU! ⤷ lnrizzyn theyre actually my parents. ⤷ ynsloverr lnrizzyn THE LAST SLIDE!!!!!

user39 THE FLOWERS!!! YNS FAV ARE TULIPS 🥹

ynsource

liked by landonorris, and 15,490 others

ynsource yn coming out backstage with her favorite tulips in hand! rumored to be given by landonorris

view all 95 comments

user484 HELLO???

ynsource

liked by landonorris, and 13,586 others

ynsource yn goes live on twitch again and mentions lando norris! view all 382 comments

uppyn landonorris are you okay? user37 YNLANDO NATION RISE!!!

landoyn4

liked by landonorris, and 21,927 others

landoyn4 LANDO NORRIS WHEN I CATCH YOU. HER WAITING FOR THE DM😭😭😭😭😭 HER SEEING OUT POSTS 😭😭😭

view all 918 comments

lllmclerc Lando liking the posts 😭

(99+) INSTAGRAM MESSAGES 𐙚˙✧˖°

— december 9, 2023

Lando Norris

i am sooooo sorry for not messaging sooner. i pussied out and thought you were joking about it:( please forgive me please

yn 🫧🤍

hi landooo! don’t worry about it:) sorry if i outed you online, i kind of pussied out as well to message you 😭 you just seemed interested so i didn’t know what to think after you came to the uk show last week with those flowers and you ghosted me

Lando Norris

No i feel even worse now. I really did want to hang out or go out with you (whichever you prefer) but, again, i pussied out… think we could have a redo?

and about the online thing, it’s totally alright, nothing they didn’t already know anyways 🤗

yn 🫧🤍

it’s alright and i would love to go out with you :)) what’s important is we were able to talk in our most random way possible 👍🏻

Lando Norris

do you mind if i get your number?

yn 🫧🤍

not at all! it’s xx-xxx- xxx

yn

liked by landonorris, and 15,976,019 others

yn sorry i haven’t been active :) i’ve been happier than ever

view all 2,811,092 comments

landonorris nice heart

⤷ yn thanks! ynlando 😵‍💫👀

landonorris

liked by yn, and 8,923,019 others

landonorris snow days ☃️

view all 3,869,028 comments

yn hey, nice heart! ⤷ landonorris your snow heart is better ☹️

ynlannn …

ynlannn HELLO?????? LANDO CAMCORDER -> POST OF YN FROM A CAMCORDER. THE HEART SNOW -> YN WITH HEART SNOW. THE COMMENTS. THE BOYFRIEND EFFECT IN THE 4TH PIC. SO MUCH TO UNFOLD AFTER 3 WEEKS OF SILENCE.

ynsource

liked by ln4, and 17,383 others

ynsource photos taken of yn by the paps this week! view all 1,982 comments

lnyln we’re all thinking the same thing, aren’t we..

⤷ynsource ynlando real and they’re on a ski trip🥹

landonorris and yn

liked by 19,294,064 others

landonorris and yn Lando is the photographer in the relationship, clearly. - yn 🧡

y/n/n is clearly the better looking one in the relationship, clearly - lando 🤍

view all 5,797,019 comments

yn hey! that last part isnt true ☹️

⤷ landonorris yes it is

⤷ yn thats a lie

⤷ landonorris you’re like the most beautiful person in this universe. what are you on

⤷ carlossainz55 Not even three months and disgusting in the comments already 😝

⤷ landonorris shhh dad

user4 THEYRS SOOOO🥹😝

ynslove i bet that first clip is yn for her 2nd leg of the tour 😵‍💫😵‍💫

user73 y/n/n?? she said she doesn’t like being called that except for her future partner UGHHHHDHAJAALALA

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡

#SOF : anotha lando fic!! bump on the tree 🤗

happy holidays! 🤍🤍

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagines #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #landonorris #lando 4 #lando norris #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fanfic #lando imagine #lando smau #lando norris smau #formula 1

[dxstopiaa]

hey hey! could i request zhongli, cyno, and tighnari with a hypersexual s/o who is actually pretty ashamed, so when they finish, they wait till theyre asleep and starts breaking down bawling their eyes out. this is kinda deep but i js want some comfort at the same time. if this is too deep or dark feel free to not do it 🫶🫶🫶

characters: zhongli, tighnari and cyno x hypersexual! gn! reader.

warnings: nsfw elements! hurt/comfort [dont worry at all anon <3 if this is something you experience, you should never feel ashamed]

zhongli

❥ That feeling was there again— the one of guilt and shame you couldn’t eradicate no matter what you told yourself. Your husband’s thick cum still coated your thighs, not daring to move nor clean it up in fear of waking him beside you.

❥ You truly envied him. Zhongli slept peacefully with arms snaked around your bare waist, not a worry present. He loved you, you knew that, yet a tide of disgust wavered over your shivering body. It retreated in the form of hot flashes, returning upon each dreadful thought that went too long considered.

❥ His forearms, dangerously close to the tears accumulating at your jaw, embraced you so gently. You were too lost in the depths of your shame to realise your sobs had grown louder, grasping onto your lover’s hands for any sort of comfort.

❥ “My darling? What has you so distraught?” Zhongli’s husky voice whispered into your ear, not doing much except influencing the developing streams of saltwater across your cheeks. Your lack of response frightened him greatly, feeling his weight shift against the head board.

❥ “Please answer me, dearest?” His heart pumped with agony at your strings of broken cries. Did he go too rough with you? Were you scared? His questions dissipated when you wrapped your frail arms around his chest. Soft, tear-ridden eyes gleamed up at him, nothing but a satin robe to distance your bodies from another.

❥ “I feel so revolted with myself. Do you feel that way too?” Your meek, shaky voice muttered such self-deprecating language left those lips he kissed with pure adoration. How could you doubt his love? His light gasp followed by a frown pulled you from the depths of overthinking.

❥ “Of course not, sweetheart. Hearing words so undervaluing from you leads me to think of the restless nights you’ve endured without my knowledge. Allow me to help you, what is it that you’d like, dear?” He fondled your shaking hand, smoothing a finger over your wedding ring.

“Anything that regards you is nothing short of perfect, i’ll prove so by whatever means.”

cyno

❥ Soft, undisturbed snores filled the room, courtesy of the sleeping general. You were still reminiscing of the events which had occurred a mere hour ago. You— who was so eager and needy for Cyno it felt humiliating. He had you on his cock nearly every day, pleasuring you albeit not making as much noise himself.

❥ Was he tired of your high libido? Was he getting bored of you? Endless questions swarmed your mind like a cyclone, twisting your perception of your boyfriend till it rained down. You couldn’t help but start to weep, tributaries of tears collecting at your chin, washing away the gentle touches Cyno had placed there prior.

❥ You shouldn’t be so obvious about it, you thought. Perhaps it’d be better to calm down in the bathroom, removing the covers from your body. You didn’t even get to lift your head from the damp pillow fully as your lover had seized your wrist.

❥ “Don’t go, hiding your tears from me won’t help you in the slightest, love.” Called out Cyno, voice raspy with slumber. Although he didn’t know what this was about, that somber expression did not suit you in the slightest. He’d rather have it gone.

❥ Eyes blurred and hazy, you glanced over at him, finally allowing him to pull you close at his side. How could you even describe this to him— say that it’s nothing or burst into tears before you even opened your mouth? Your throat felt painfully constricted.

❥ “Don’t worry, if you can’t tell me now, this can be discussed in the morning. For now, just get some rest.” Cyno comforted, tracing his thumbs over each tear-stained cheek. You didn’t need to tell him, he could already sense what was wrong.

❥ That distant look in your eyes whenever you finished quickly, the sobs he thought were of pleasure were rather subtle cries of guilt. It was quite obvious yet he was so unperceptive to not realise it till you were curled up beside him? Cyno held you closer than ever, arms framing your shivering body as if you were glass, about to shatter any second now.

“I apologise for not seeing this earlier. Let me remind you that i fell in love with the exact person you’re incorrectly ashamed of, i wouldn’t change anything about you.”

tighnari

❥ There was something off about you— Tighnari could sense it, although not place a finger on it. Your lips trembled with something he thought was fear, yet it wouldn’t make sense if it was. You’ve always been an expressive person, so why the sudden change?

❥ You were quite loud just a few minutes ago, now it seems you’ve withdrawn yourself under the cotton covers for comfort. You’d always ask for aftercare and snuggle close to him after sex, though not a single request sounded from the opposite side of the bed.

❥ If only he knew that your saline tears dampened the pillow and your lashes, the red hue that was on your cheeks had shifted up to your eyes, worn with distress. Tighnari had never mentioned anything negative to you at all, however this sickening discomfiture twisted your stomach.

❥ Despite how hard you tried to disguise the reality of your feelings, fleeing from your excessive eroticism, it’d all come down one day. Your throat closed up, a pounding migraine overtook your senses, making it all the more apparent.

❥ “Dear? What’s the matter? Are you hurt?” The forest ranger panicked— ears twitching half-confusedly. No response apart from a snivel and the rustling of the quilt which you grasped onto. Immediately, he reached for a glass of water and towel.

❥ Tighnari turned you over, fingers brushing along your jaw, patting the cool, damp fabric over your closed eyes. Wails of panic were replaced with small hiccups, breathing still irregular but not as before. Would you even want to discuss this now? He fears startling you again.

❥ Your boyfriend continued to lightly massage your head, raking his slender fingers in your tangled hair. Moments like these— where you needed him the most, he’s here for you.

“Shh, it’s okay, don’t stress over this too much dearest. Get some sleep now.”

#we’re zhongli and xiao lovers here #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #zhongli #cyno #tighnari #genshin smut #genshin hurt/comfort #genshin angst #zhongli x reader #cyno x reqder #tighnari x reader #genshin zhongli #genshin cyno #genshin tighnari #i hope this was okayy… #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x you #zhongli x you #cyno x you #tighnari x you

[h4venpha]

i think i find comfort in vashwood because of their unwillingness to say outloud how they care and love for one another. like CANONLY, theres so, so much they dont say, yet their actions reflect everything.

i’m pretty sure i’ve spoke on this before but i like to think that they never say more than they need to because of the world they live in, the type of people they are, the type of upbringings theyve had. it all stems back to them not really feeling worthy of the love they are offered.

wolfwood who only thinks of himself as some fucked up modified killing machine and that he believes theres no chance someone as kind hearted as vash would see the good in him, or what little there is left of the good in him. he’s done nothing but kill, he could never redeem himself, and yet vash isn’t scared nor shuns him for it even with his pacifistic ideals.

vash who has seen the brutal truth of wolfwood’s being and still decides he loves him to the very end.

vash who doesnt believe he deserves any ounce of love or commitment because he only hurts those he gets close to. it’s happened before and itll happen again, like hes a walking time bomb and everything will blow up again and the people close to him will die no matter what he does. and wolfwood who canonly sticks beside him until the end! literally calls himself his guide.

vash who has never had true companionship in his 150 years of living, and wolfwood who follows him to the ends of gunsmoke.

just up until vol10, theyre still toeing the line of the relationship theyve created. but the exact moment vash shows up and chooses to prioritize wolfwood over going after knives (the fucking thing he’s been working towards since the big fall, over a hundred years ago) is the moment he steps past that line. its so extremely open and explicit, even wolfwood asks him ‘why are you here?”

while what he says here is true yes, it also sounds like “you cannot die, i’m here to ‘save’ you because i want to live.”

then to this when wolfwood knows and accepts he will die— the sheer HORROR on vash’s face when he realizes wolfwood wont allow him to save him.

few pages ahead, vash’s monologue starts and these old panels come up. “deep down, he had become very close to me.” basically implying that back then, during the ‘shoot’ moment, they weren’t really close. and when vash accused him: “you’re the coward here.”, “you give up all hope so easily”, it was almost surface level in a way? talking to him at surface level

but now, so many chapters later when wolfwood really does give up hope, vash, with all of his developed love through out the story realizes how differently he feels now. wolfwood made him put a fucking gun to his head (giving up hope), and vash who only scolded and accused him, vs vol10 where when wolfwood gives up hope, vash feels straight terror, that he’s really going to lose him. (also the inverted panel is just so gorgeous.)

the whole “isnt that right, wolfwood?” just proves my entire point that vash’s presence here in this fight steps over the line of vulnerability they had created. he knows how he feels, and he knows that wolfwood feels the same, even if hes speaking to him indirectly.

#im just rambling #okay #i dont know where i was going. w it #no fics u only get vashwood rambles sodrry #vashwood #vashwood angst #trigun maximum #trigun maximum wolfwood #trigun maximum vash #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash angst #wolfwood angst #h4venpha