#i love that dumb glowstick

[llamagoddessofficial]

Stars, I just want to give moth Skull all the cuddles.

Do you have some soft Hcs for moth boys?

perhamps

Sans

His sleep pheromones, when used in small amounts, are great for soothing anxiety. When he sees Mc is anxious about something he likes to quietly help her feel better; one of the few things he does with no ulterior motive.

After he starts regularly interacting with Mc, he stops deliberately scaring children who get too close to the glass in his enclosure.

He’s been dropping hints to her that he understands more language than he lets on. He’s found it works for him to pretend he’s a dumb beast, he gets more food and is left alone... but recently he’s taken a shine to the idea of Mc knowing the truth. He might laugh at a joke she makes and enjoy her confused expression.

Underneath all those glossy colours, sly expressions and iridescent shines, Sans is actually deeply insecure that Mc is going to leave him. It’s why he’s trying to get her hooked on his calming sleep pheromones. She always comes back to his enclosure smelling of other large male moths and he knows there’s nothing he can do to chase her if she decides to stop working there, or focus her attention on the other moths instead of him... he's scared. Insecure and scared.

Just like how he soothes her anxieties, she unknowingly soothes his fears by returning every day without fail.

Red

If he did ever actually get her into his den when he was feeling crazy, he would literally just cuddle her. She thinks he wants to eat her or do other things but when he’s like that, he’s just obsessed with having something soft to play with.

They won’t be easy cuddles, though. He’s got a bunch of cuteness aggression that he wants to take out on her. Aggressive cuddling, squeezing and pinching, nuzzling that leaves her hair looking like she narrowly escaped a hurricane. He might bite her if she makes sounds he finds particularly unbearably cute.

He has the best nest-building skills out of all three moths. He’s just got a natural aptitude for making things comfortable- but that also gives them a degree of inescapability. He might (lovingly, of course) trap her in the blankets and see how long it takes her to escape.

If she’s exhausted from a tiring day wrangling massive moths, she might even just give up and fall asleep. You can imagine his joy.

She brings him interactive objects to fill his time, once she FINALLY gets the zoo to give her clearance for it. Contained marble puzzles, puzzle boxes, fidget toys and the like. It does wonders for his mental health.

Skull

Combine Skull’s realisation that he loves when Mc touches him with his lack of understanding of personal space, you get a touch-starved beast who reacts to ‘love me’ cravings by following Mc around like an expectant puppy, hovering with his face inches from her, loudly purring and staring unblinkingly until she relents and acknowledges him.

His ‘pet me’ enlightening coincides quite nicely with a ‘i want to pet her’ epiphany. Keep in mind how absolutely massive he is and you can see how, when Skull gets the cuddlebug there’s nothing on Earth that can stop him from getting his huge hands on her.

It can be intimidating for her; hes big enough to crush her. But he’s always gentle, he’s always practising being careful.

She brings in night lights for him, after she finds out he gets nightmares. Obviously he doesn’t have outlets in his enclosure, so she rotates them to charge them for him. His favourites are the glowsticks though... he likes to crack them and stuff them into the cracks and crevices of his den.

Speaking of his den... he’d eventually decide he wants to show her the interior. She feels rather honoured, considering how protective of his space he was when she first met him. He won’t let her leave until she takes one of the blankets with her.

Fun fact: the moths can all glow. Eyes of course, antennae a little, and certain patches on their wings- the pattern varies from moth to moth. It’s a hunting strategy.

#llamagines #moth sanses au #zoo moth sanses au #get u a man who cures your anxiety when hes jealous #pov you were about to kill someone but then your gf brings you the new Kidult Addictaball Ball Small Maze Puzzle 2 New Colours Edition

[cloudyperfume]

So cute when you’re sensitive~

masterlist

Kenma x f!reader

things included: obviously smut, cursing, sexual content, slight crybaby reader (like in every post I make), aftercare at the end, and two rounds 😳

I felt Kenma’s fingers swiping across my sensitive pink bud. Tears were forming non stop in my eyes.

“Mm! Kenma~!“ I cried out as I grabbed onto the sheets beneath me, now wrinkled by the action.

I felt him lay a kiss on my chest as he fasten his past. The change of pace made me throw my head back.

“Ah!” I felt like I was gonna explode in any moment. The pleasure was too much!

I bit my lip.

I lifted my head up a little, only to see Kenma looking at me with a smirk.

I would have glared at him if it wasn’t for him now putting his two fingers inside me with still swiping on my bud.

I moaned out louder by his overwhelming motions.

“You look so beautiful when you cry my sweet angel, I love you so much~.” He said with a soft loving voice, but with some lust hidden inside it as well.

I nodded my head as a response, but it wasn’t enough.

Kenma’s smirk dropped a little as his pace quickened.

I stopped biting my lip as opened my mouth into an ‘o.’ I let out whine and moans by the pleasure going all over my body.

I started to squirm as I felt pressure on my stomach.

“Say that you love me with your words love. You can do it, right?” He asked.

I nodded my head, again.

Kenma looked at me with a slight glare.

I realized my mistake as said my response, with words this time.

“Y-yes! I do! Ahh~!” I couldn’t say a complete sentence with moaning.

“You do what?” Kenma said.

I arched my back and threw my head back again. I couldn’t bare this overwhelming pleasure!

I squirmed even more as I responded.

“I-I love y-ou! Kenm- Ahh!” I cut my sentence at the end while moaning out loud.

I closed my eyes shut, tightly.

“Kenma, I c-can’t handle the p-pleasure!” I said while trying to stop him with my hand that had let go of the sheets under me.

His fingers that were inside going in and out of me suddenly got out and went to stop my hand from stopping his motions.

“Don’t worry, I can tell you’re close. Just a few more seconds love.” Kenma said while grabbing both of my hands and pinning it on top of me.

His other hand was still giving me the overwhelming pleasure.

Multiple tears streamed down my face as I felt myself wanting to release.

I squirmed and struggled in Kenma’s grip as I cried out; “K-Kenma, I’m g-gonna cum!~.”

Kenma grinned as his hand swiped quickly on my very sensitive bud.

I yelped as I felt myself squeezing on his fingers.

I closed my eyes and came onto Kenma’s fingers inside of me.

Kenma watched in satisfaction as he saw me cumming on his fingers.

Once I was done I was gasping for air, as much air that I can get from the very hot room.

My body was sweaty, but mine wasn’t the only one.

Kenma’s forehead was sweating a little, I guess it was because of the fast paces he was doing.

He took his fingers out with made me breath out heavily a little.

He chuckled as he noticed this and went on top of me.

He kissed my nose as he rubbed my back.

He was saying how ‘good I was’ and many praises.

I blushed as some of them and smiled as well. I always loved when he did this after we were “done.”

Of course, I am kind of dumb for thinking that we were now finished.

Because the moment that he leaned back, was the moment that he said.

“Don’t think we’re done yet, I still need help with my ‘problem.’ He said while putting his hand over his cock.

His hard cock.

I widened my eye a little as I saw.

I blushed even more when I saw it, I looked the other way but I couldn’t for long since he grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

He smirked at the sight of me blushing.

“You’re just too adorable for your own good, my love~.” Kenma said while sitting up and taking off his clothes.

Once he was done he went on top of me again and put his cock against my entrance.

I felt a little shy, even though we’ve done this a lot of times before.

Before Kenma put his glowstick in my slick kitty-cat. He went to kiss my cheek.

Aww~-

*Thrust!*

Welp now the moment is ruined

He thrusted deep inside of me with caused me to let out a breathy moan.

I went to cover my mouth, but before I could Kenma grabbed my wrist and my other one.

“Don’t cover your pretty moans.” He said with a smile as he pinned my arms down gently.

I sniffed at the feeling of his cock moving in and out deep inside of my pussy.

“I-it’s feels so good!” I cried as I slightly arched my back.

I can feel my pussy get more wet by Kenma’s motions.

I felt him kiss my lips as my moans got muffled by it.

I felt his cock go all the way out, I whined as I thought that he would pull out.

But, he didn’t.

He stopped when he was about to pull out, then suddenly grabbed my hips and pushed his cock all the way in roughly.

I gasped and threw my head back as tears came down my slightly pink face.

Kenma liked my reaction so he did it again, and again, and again.

Until I felt a similar pressure in my stomach again.

“I-I’m close! So close! Kenmaaa~!” I cried out as I felt many shivers of pleasure go up and down my body.

I felt Kenma go faster, making sure to hit all the right spots.

The bed was creaking by the rough thrusting that Kenma was doing.

I went up and down with every thrust.

“I’m close! So close! Can I please cum Kenma~!” I moaned out loudly as I felt my release almost.. well- um, releasing…

He moaned as he responded.

“Y-Yes you can- uh~! my pretty baby~.” He groaned as I squeezed around him.

I was squirming around Kenma’s hands as I came around his cock.

Once I did I felt him come inside me as well. Don’t worry we’re on birth control.

Kenma pulled out as some of the cum inside me ent on the bed.

I was trembling a lot since I came two times.

Tears came out of my eyes as I was still feeling a sensitive feeling.

Kenma came to me and hugged me as he gently rubbed little circles on my back.

I closed my eyes and hugged him back.

All I wanted to do was be held by Kenma until I fall asleep.

“Sorry if it was too much, I just can’t help but be so turned on when you’re sensitive.” He said while biting my ear softly.

“You’re so cute when you’re sensitive.”

#kenma #kozume #kenma x reader #reader #reader insert #smut #fanfic #cloudyperfume

[lolipopkittler]

I haven't been playing Obey Me lately, honestly I don't feel it's rewarding or enjoyable anymore.

You have to farm too long to advance very little.

Ever since chapter 16 the lore has been lacking in consistency.

With the anime: it's a great opportunity for worldbuilding, but they're writing the brothers doing silly things.

Also, the animation for the anime is cheap, sorry, but it's bad.

The events have been sooooo boring and add nothing to the story, and they're so predictable lately: it's a dumb idea, you spend some time with three characters each time, then you gotta make a decision and there comes the keys chapters, one is the group option and the keys is the one on one choice, but again, I feel it has become very cheap. It has cheap romantic options.

Why not better the main story and expand the lore in the anime? The events could also expand on each characters story or just focus on one arc idk, be more interesting

If they do the Ruri Tunes thing I might come back (because I love rhythm games and I still have a love for the OM characters) but it's weird how it's a copy of Muse Dash and they haven't said anything about that.

I know it's a romance game, but they decided to add lore to it, so the least they should do is have a consistent lore, and they "expand" it but it just becomes confusing. And the romantic options are cute but I wish it was... Better.

I have to say, the Barbatos Birthday event for this year was *cheff's kiss* marvellous. I wish whoever wrote that event gets a promotion or gets to write more for the story, it was romantic and very well done.

Overall I feel unsatisfied, I still love the characters, even though now they're not as interesting as before, and I still read the main story when I can (i'm still on season 3) but I don't log in everyday, I don't feel like doing the tasks, I only go back when theres a Barbatos card or when I can buy glowsticks to get through the main story, and i'm unemployed so huh, i'm not really playing much.

Also no hate to anyone who still loves the game, this is pretty much my personal opinion, I still love the boys, i'm just dissapointed.

Side note: this stresses me out because I want more Barbatos content but I gotta get it from tumblr and not from the game :'c I wish to know more from his character but there isn't much in the game, and then they make it funky so idk, i'm dissapointed :'c also english is not my first language so please be kind.

#vent #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me shall we date #obey me lore #obey me anime #obey me barbatos #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me analysis #obey me ruri chan

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

     Kristof placed a heavy hand on Uriel's shoulder, speaking loudly, "That was hilarious!"      The blue-clad man stared silently at his employee. In the past, Uriel had tried to reprimand Kristof for touching him unexpectedly; more often than not, the punishment directly resulted from the ginger's action and ended with him in Skinner's care.      With a wide smile, he continued, "The fear in that agent's face when you threatened to skin and eat him alive nearly had me on the floor, boss."      Glare softening slightly, Uriel sighed, mumbling, "Thanks."

     Kristof being named that has nothing to do with Dr. Christoff; it's just the name the game gave him.      Pardon the random color tests, didn't realize I wasn't far enough out of the picture (and I am, admittedly, too lazy to fix it lol). This is the first time I've tried out using the "crosshair" faces that Mad. Com. has; I think they both look pretty decent lol.      (close-ups)

     Without making this too long of a post, I should probably add some context to them.:      Uriel is my arena combat character; this is his first rendition as an experiment class. Before you give me shit: yes, I know that class has a debuff on ranged weaponry. I just like using Reaper-410 guns lol.      Speaking of which, yes they have identical guns (oh my god they are so fucking gay--)      Kristof is from my first team and I'm pretty sure had a bug with his AI. During missions, once his primary gun was empty, he'd just stand there. I'd have to command him to get a new weapon or do anything besides stand next to me. So, I gave him a "loving dumb dog" personality lol.      Uriel, originally, found Kristof's stupidity and goofy nature to be an annoyance. There were many times when he debated firing Kristof but decided not to; since Tyrant (another character on my team) would've left too (since Kristof is his twin).      After some time, Uriel found himself fascinated with Kristof. Before Uri left to go "Enmesh the Mandatus" he told Kristof that, when he got back, he would take up on the ginger's offer to go get drinks.      However, if you've played the game, you know how that ends up. After Uriel doesn't come back, Kristof ends up living a life of abstinence and solitude; only interacting with the others in HQ.      Uriel, on the other hand, is reborn, distraught and heartbroken. Each lifetime, however, "Kristof" manages to find Uriel again. Even if his name is different, his feelings and personality are similar.      *clears throat* Isn't that a happy story? lol (I love making characters suffer for some reason lol)      Here's their in-game look, in case you're curious:

     (I don't really draw Kristof's helmet since I just have it there so he doesn't die--simply just forgot his bandana. The same goes for Uriel's glowsticks, it's something that I just have there for fun lol)

#I have an issue with naming every OC Uriel-- #lmao #Madness combat #madness combat project nexus #madness combat arena mode #mad com #mad com project nexus #madness project nexus #project nexus #madness combat oc #OC #traditional art #art #color pencil

[the-haunted-office]

(Thursday is here for a nice, lovely chat. :) )

Thursday just stands there with a kind of dumb smile on her face while Victor is talking and everything appears to be about to go to shit around them.

And then the second the timer starts going off, she begins talking. She doesn’t run around, she doesn’t seem afraid, and she certainly doesn’t do anything else other than stand there smiling at Victor.

She does have a lot of questions, after all.

"Hey, so! I really liked your story! I’m very glad you decided to come on out here and celebrate with me. Can I have some of that stuff in your glass to celebrate too? Well, I don’t mean what’s actually in your glass, I mean can I get my own glass of it? Then we can clink our glasses together! I’ve never done a toast before!”

“Also, sorry I had to go and push the ‘on’ button, but I’ve never done it myself before and I really wanted to be the one pressing the button for once.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve been blown up like this? Well, I don’t really know the exact number either, but it is a lot! Why, you ask? Because there was one time of about, oh, I don’t know, maybe a dozen or so story runs back in my own office, where my Stanley was so mad at Cyrus and I that he kept coming into here and blowing us all up. Yeah... not a good time for any of us.”

“But! Things got better. After that, things got a whole lot better for all of us. Just letting out all that rage. It’s good for you, you know? Well, maybe the blowing us all up part wasn’t very good, but it did lead to good things, so I can’t really call it an all around bad experience, know what I mean?”

“Also, I really wanted to ask you since you brought it up. You said you wanted to change into something nice specifically for this occasion. So, like, did you know already, way back in the beginning when I first started your story, that I was gonna come into here and press the ‘on’ button? Were you dressed like that this entire time, or did you have the suit and champagne sitting nearby just in case?”

“Because if that’s the case, I’m actually really impressed! Actually, I’m quite impressed in either event, because that means that you can either read the future, or you can change your clothes and pour things into glasses really, really fast. Either way, impressive!”

“Oh, and, that suit, very nice by the way. Really goes along with the ambience of this whole being blown up thing. I think if I ever come this way again, I’ll bring glowsticks. Thoughts?”

#thenarrator385 #thursday

[redpanda-roleplay-hoard]

Markiplier, Muyskerm & a few others play GTFO, Pt. 01

“What am I injecting?!”

“I am into this like a million percent. This is so up my alley.”

“I’ve got very big hands.”

“What’s happening, I’m scared.”

“Oh hell yeah, I’m gonna make biscuits with this!”

“Yeah, glowsticks are chill.”

“There might be bad guys in here.”

“That was trash tier. That was nothing.”

“The squishy, terrifying sounds of aliveness are not good news.”

“Damnit, hold it together!”

“Oh god, why did I get a boner during that presentation?!”

“We’re going in tits out, eyes in, butts up, balls clenched.”

“Let’s do some terrifying bullshit, nerds.”

“I can see your insides, mister.”

“We’re just dancing through this like it’s a meadow full of love.”

“Here, have some foam.”

“When they’re that close together, it pisses ‘em off.”

“Don’t touch the tentacles!”

“I’ve seen enough hentai to know where that’s going.”

“I feel like I was shot.”

“Slap my dick and call me Judy!”

“They did a stupid!”

“That’s not very cash money of you.”

“Crouch, you psychopath!”

“When things go tits up, which they invariably will, what do we do?”

“Your face looks like a fucking car crash!”

“This is a lot of responsibility. I’m gonna kill us.”

“Oh, why did we send the dumb-dumbs?”

“Oh, he’s stompy! Oh, he’s so stompy!”

“Ow! Frickity frack!”

“It’s a lot messier than I thought it would be.”

“That’s not great for situations where we must be stealthy.”

“We don’t have the resources for this.”

“Ready, set, uh…boned.”

“Why am I in charge of typing?! I hate all of you.”

“I don’t like when you say that.”

“This is gonna suck no matter what we do.”

“I’m always ready for a small suck!”

“I know how to handle small dick.”

“Cheese, bitches!”

“I’ve ruined it! It’s my fault! I’ve done everything wrong!”

“Who wants glowsticks?!”

“I go down like a bitch.”

#source: social media #made by red panda #rp meme #roleplay meme #rp prompts #roleplay prompt #rp prompt #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts #rp starters

[wemightdrawdaily]

System Head Count!

Nico

"Fortunatly i got built in padsing with mt phat booty”

Host to the strangest crossover ep

He/Him

Age: 19

likes: Purple, orange, pink, singing, drawing, his little siblings, eye bleedingly bright colors, animated tv shows, being strong, picking people up, writing, gators, capri-sun

drawing frequency: average

Glowstick/Sticks

"Disney was good, I found out I hate homophobia."

First to show Zeir ugly mug

Zey/Them

Age: N/A

Likes: gummies, Edge, being tiny, being a kaiju, swimming through the void, cyan, anything squishy, rain, thunder, lightning

drawing frequency:  rare

Edge

“Deceny”

Resident dyslexic road rager

He/Him

Age: 21

Likes: his brother, dark colors, music, dark places, quiet places, fighting, training his magic, hanging out with stretch, singing, spending time with sticks, tiramisu, pointy things

drawing frequency: rare

Stretch

“The roof seems fine.” Said seconds before getting struck by lightning

soft cuddlebastard, he makes us eat things that are gross

He/They

Age: 22

likes: honey on doritos, broing with Edge, mocking Edge, biting things, blanket forts, pillows, shitposting in any form

drawing frequency:  low

Gamzee

“Clown gender is different than human gender”

Protector

Any pronouns

Age: 19

likes: small things, soft things, red, sugary foods, pixi sticks, painting, dead fish, music, speaking in unintelligible gibberish, flailing stims, roleplay

drawing frequency: high

Fakken

"You're so dumb and I love you for it. No thoughts, head empty. I adore you."

The only short one

Pronouns: He/They

age: 13

Likes: computers, gators, crayons, robotics, dead fish, drawing, tall himbos in alot of makeup, bees, yellow, purple, clowns one specific clown

drawing frequency: high

#system #art #drawing #system intro

[somecommonbitch]

star razor: is an incredibly powerful sword from the age of arcanum, forged by acolytes of melora and sehanine with blessing of moon and starlight, can cast two incredibly versatile spells, only broke after a horrific battle, caduceus carried around the pieces for more than 40 episodes, reforged with iceflex in one of the most holy sites of melorea, casts a faint glow because it is so incredibly powerful and would probably speak if given the chance

fjord: aw hell yeah this thing can work like a glow stick 

#critical role #fjord #he is So Dumb i Love Him #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #loosely but hey this is my blog #star razor has so much lore and its become a night lite outside of combat #glowstick of divergence

[pixelatedrose]

His name is Glowstick

#Glowstick the Kodama #i have a small friend #i love him #ro talks about dumb shit

[yelenabelovasgf]

i’m calling it now, you’ll find love with me somehow.

pairing: yelena belova x reader

summary: reader meets her superhero crush (and yelena adorably spirals)

genre: fluff

yelena was enamored the moment you set foot in the base, and it was obvious she wasn’t the only one.

as soon as you were officially introduced to the team, it became an entire challenge to win you over. natasha did her whole sultry and mysterious act, steve and bucky tried their old gentleman thing, even vision started studying your tendencies to imitate them. what the hell was that about?

even the little avengers got tiny gross crushes, kate would whip out that stupid bow and arrow any chance she got while america kept inviting you to travel dimensions with her, something about sightseeing.

yelena wasn’t worried though, after all these months she had your routine down, the polite declines to all those who sought you out, it started with a small awkward giggle, then a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, and the cherry on the top, ‘i kind of like someone already haha’ .

now yelena wasn’t dumb, she knew you liked her back. the early morning coffee runs and movie marathons that lasted till the crack of dawn were a clear indicator for the feelings both harbored. but yelena’s fear of ultimately ruining such an authentic friendship scared her too much, so she concluded that sitting by and watching everyone try and fail to have you would be a cost necessary.

scratch that, why was there a walking glowstick in the kitchen and why was she making you laugh? wait, were you blushing ? you never blush with her!

yelena sat there with what felt like a permanent pout, forcing herself to not just walk over and interrupt whatever you both so vividly talked about. i mean, how funny could they be? she kept glancing over to see your rejecting routine, the awkward giggle, looking all over the place, and then the little cherry on the top of saying you liked someone, you know, her .

but it never came, instead, what yelena saw from afar was for certain a giggle, but, flirty? you only give her those! oh great, now your hand is on the bicep feeling it up. this couldn’t go on for longer, and after what felt like an eternity you walked away with a goofy grin plastered on your face.

the super-spy quickly walked over to the kitchen, disguising her intentions with a false interest in the coffee machine. “i don’t think we met before, i’m yelena”, extending her hand to the other, “oh, you’re natasha’s sister right? i’m carol danvers, get called captain marvel from time to time!”, she answered with a slight smirk.

‘captain fucking marvel? that’s okay, yelena thought, no big deal, except that’s the superhero you’ve declared over and over again having a massive crush on. and you were barely five minutes prior talking to them and blushing and feeli- yelena was officially spiraling.

meanwhile, she was still gripping carol’s hand on her own, “yep i’m the sister… what brings you here... captain?” the spy asked with an impatient tone. carol, who was finding the short conversation amusing, answered, “just visiting, checking with fury and hill, i’ll be gone by friday don’t worry.” she finished while walking away, already brainstorming on how much chaos she’ll conjure up in 3 days.

three days, it would be three whole days of captain sparkles flirting with you and you’ve been living for it. after that small talk shared in the kitchen, the spy couldn’t have expected just how infuriating all of this would become, more so, heart-wrenching. but, yelena was the one to put up the boundary on your friendship, it was her decision and she would stand by it!

day one was simple enough; you had been assigned to showing carol the base and helping her settle, which the captain took as valuable time to throw some smooth lines your way and make you blush endlessly. ‘just a blush, a stupid little blush’, yelena kept repeating to herself.

“don’t you think she’s stupid?”, yelena lamely started, “who?” you questioned.

“the glowing old lady… i heard she’s from the ’50s, and what is so cool about flying or her little fists that glow anyway? did i tell you about that time i fell from a high place and walked it off? not even a scratch! and no superpower either… pure talent it’s what it is!”, yelena declared, now aggressively gesturing to solidify just how badass she is. she didn’t catch the adoring gaze you threw her way, much less your beaming smile.

“i’m just saying, a little overrated if you ask me.”, you only laughed and looked at her with even more adoration, “it is overrated lena, so lame, you are so much cooler!”, maybe it was an exaggeration on your end, but it did give you a smug and happy yelena.

day two was much harder. after having spent all your day with carol, it's easy to say you got pretty close. close enough to be constantly touching each other, and yelena’s eyes couldn’t move away from it. the way carol’s hand rested on your lower back, going out of her way to play with the rings on your fingers. the russian was seeing red, or green, or whatever the idiom americans use for it. she was jealous.

“danvers, you know you can let her take a breather right?”, yelena knew she sounded piteous, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“lena!”, you exclaimed, “what’s the matter with you?”, ‘great’ , yelena thought, ‘ now i’m getting scolded’

“it’s- it’s nothing милая, just odd that the captain has only paid attention to one member of the team… it’s getting late anyway, want to finish the marathon from last time?”, if yelena’s week wasn’t bad enough, your answer was the confirmation it needed, “i’m sorry firefly, but you’re acting rude, and i promised carol a sleepover before she leaves. maybe next time?”

like a sad little kicked puppy, yelena got up, “that’s okay, i’ll go to the room, night captain , goodnight милая” the spy could feel her chest tighten, but still, shot you her usual grin, and left. the stupid captain was leaving tomorrow anyway, and you’ll be back to normal.

it was already day three, the glorious friday yelena had been anticipating, also the day carol danvers was finally leaving the base and hopefully never coming back. most of her luggage was already near the base’s exit in preparation.

the short spy quickly got bored of waiting and went to the kitchen, stopping herself after hearing carol’s and steve's voices.

“while i prefer not interfering with my teammate's relationships captain danvers, maybe don’t ask her out?” steve said, knowing all too well how territorial a certain redhead’s sister could be.

“she doesn’t seem to be with anyone, is cute, and MIGHT like me, i don’t understand your problem steven” carol rebutted, seemingly annoyed.

“i’m just saying, does carol danvers even do ‘long distance relationships’? why even bother-“, steve started but was interrupted by carol, “who said anything about relationships? maybe i just want a little farewell present before leaving.”

that was all yelena needed to hear before walked past the kitchen counter and docked carol straight in the face, which to the ex-assassin surprise, didn’t even stagger her. and because luck doesn’t exist in yelena belova’s world, you decided to enter at that exact time.

carol knew she didn’t have the right to get mad, letting steve guide her to another room, while you and yelena stayed behind.

“what is the glowing bird even made from? steel? holy fuck my hand hurts!” yelena all but yelled while holding onto her now very red hand, words couldn’t even describe the flabbergasted look you were giving her, “oh i’m sorry, are you surprised by this? i’m still, on the whole, WHY would you even punch CAPTAIN MARVEL for?”, you couldn’t even try lowering your voice.

by now you had already gotten an ice pack from the freezer and pushed yelena onto a nearby stool, the grumpy spy was too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes. she mumbled some nonsense in hope of giving up on the incoming conversation, but after a glance at your worried, but also very pissed off eyes, she repeated herself louder “she said disgusting things about you…”

sighing, “lena, it doesn’t matter what anyone says about me, you can’t be punching people like that!”, but that only seemed to add fuel to the fire. “yes it matters and yes i can! the stupid captain said she wanted a farewell present from you… as if yourself isn’t the best, as if she could just barge in here and take what’s mine!”

that was it, that’s the reason one of the world’s deadliest assassins was being an irrational baby, she was jealous?

“firefly, would you please look at me?”, you asked in the soft tone reserved for her. yelena looked up with small angry tears watering her eyes, “lena, i understand why you put a boundary to our friendship, and also why carol’s comments got to you, but i can’t do much here if you won’t allow me.” you finished, trying to be as delicate with the topic as possible.

with an inhale and a puffed chest, yelena finally spoke up, “i am not the easiest to deal with, but, you have never made me feel as a burden, all you ever done is understand and accept me, моя любовь, can i please take you on a date?”, she finished asking while taking both of your hands.

“you’re such an idiot lena, of course, i’ll be your date, only after your hand is healed ms i can take captain marvel!” you laughed, yelena knew she wasn’t going to live that down anytime soon, but it was worth it, she finally got her pretty lady.

милая - honey

моя любовь - my love

#a hot mess but hehehe heres something #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #white widow #black widow #pale little spider #marvel x reader #florence pugh #florence pugh x reader

[asteroshearts]

[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren] 

Levi Ackerman: 

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is. 

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene. 

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @. 

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.” 

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower. 

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour. 

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!! 

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves. 

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable. 

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.” 

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc. 

On the other hand he goes to the extreme. 

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do. 

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other. 

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them. 

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS 

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face. 

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs. 

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to. 

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj 

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced. 

Eren Jaeger: 

OKAY 

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN 

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus. 

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview. 

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence. 

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something. 

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts. 

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract. 

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].” 

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?” 

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him. 

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at. 

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other. 

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background. 

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest. 

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all. 

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head. 

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...” 

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH. 

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.  

[Eren: commits war crimes 

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.] 

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger. 

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set. 

#levi x reader #levi headcanons #eren jeager x reader #eren headcanons #eren x reader #eren #levi #snk #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #eren yeager #aot headcanons #aot x reader #snk headcanons #snk x reader #levi x y/n #eren x y/n

[starlitangels]

Even More Redacted Incorrect Quotes, Apparently

Sunshine: Has anybody seen Eli?

Elliot: *laying facedown on the floor* Present

•-•

Darlin': I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb mates until I got a dumb mate myself

Darlin': I've only had Sam for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

•-•

Freelancer: You're up early, Damien

Damien:

Freelancer: You never went to sleep, did you?

•-•

Angel: Can I ask a dumb question?

Davey: Better than anybody I know

•-•

Freelancer: Gavin and I are having a kid

Caelum: That’s great! Congratulations!

Gavin: *slams down adoption papers* It’s you. Sign here

•-•

Darlin': You don't want to befriend me. I'm a handful

Sam: I have two hands!

•-•

Starlight: On a scale of one to ten, how lonely are you?

Avior: It stops at ten?

•-•

Asher: Rules are made to be broken!

David: Nothing is made to be broken, Asher.

Angel: Glowsticks

Babe: Piñatas

Sweetheart: Karate boards

Milo: Spaghetti when you have a really small pot

Asher: Rules!

David: -_-

•-•

Darlin': I wasn't injured. I was lightly stabbed

Sam: You were stabbed?!?!?!

Darlin': Lightly stabbed. I didn't want to worry you

•-•

Angel: It's muggy outside today

Davey: If I go out there and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving you

Angel: *sips drink from a bowl*

•-•

[at Department Investigator/Covert Cop office]

Sam: I'm here to pick up my partner

Desk Sergeant: Alright, who's your partner?

Sweetheart passing by and Sam, simultaneously: You must be new here

•-•

Lasko: What if I put coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Freelancer, taking the pot while they walk by: What if you don't

•-•

Sam: Truth or dare

Darlin': Truth?

Sam: How many hours have you slept this week?

Darlin': Dare

Sam: Go to bed

Darlin': I've decided I don't like this game

•-•

Caelum: Never break someone's heart. They only have one

Vega: Yeah! Break their bones! They have 206!

•-•

Quinn: Okay, I ruined your life. But didn't you have fun?

Darlin': 😡

Quinn: Exactly. Relax.

•-•

Starlight, to Avior: Are you done pretending like I'm not the love of your life?

•-•

Gavin, about Vega: Can I shoot him?

Freelancer: Not in public

•-•

Sam: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remains the same

Vincent: Kill two?

Lovely: Kill ten.

Darlin': Kill all of them!

•-•

Milo: *carrying all the groceries*

Sweetheart: *holds out hand to help*

Milo: *shifts all the groceries to one arm to hold Sweetheart’s hand*

•-•

Darlin’: What are you better at than David?

Asher: Mario Kart

Milo: Uno

Angel: Emotional vulnerability

•-•

Adam: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room!

Vincent: It's called arson and those people are witnesses

•-•

[first day as a professor]

Lasko: You're going to be introduced to some uncomfortable ideas in here and we'll tackle sensitive issues, but I expect everyone to be adults about it.

Class: *general whispering*

Lasko: Okay first topic. A Pop-Tart. Is it a calzone?

Class: *general outrage*

#I'm sure some of these have already been done before #but I did it anyway #Redacted ASMR #Redacted Lasko #Redacted Vincent #Redacted David #Redacted Elliot #Redacted Asher #Redacted Milo #Redacted Avior #Redacted Gavin #Redacted Sam #Redacted Caelum #Redacted Damien

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

#ton #toa #tower of nero #the tower of nero #trials of apollo #pjo #hoo #ton spoilers #toa spoilers #riordanverse #pjoverse #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #will solace #nico di angelo #jason grace #rachel elizabeth dare #luguselwa #percy jackson #annabeth chase #piper mcclean #camp halfblood #percy jackson and the olympians

[machinesandman]

Sentence Meme: Random oneliners said in discord

A collection of one liners and funny quotes that have been said on a Discord server. Send one in for a character!

“[INSERT NAME] you use the tub too! Thus it is OUR tub.”

“ Food for three? Food for me :) “

"HE DOESN'T DESERVE PINSTRIPES"

“Yup I've just become a one man shaken martini of excitement.”

"The Bottom Discourse"

“I knew this was going to happen and this is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

"We'll steal cows from those captial cucks."

"Our trauma is our glue~!" 

“The 20th century was the "fuck around" century. The 21st is the "find out" century.”

“THE NEXT GROUP OF DUMB TEENAGERS WHO COME IN AND WRECK MY SHOP WITH THEIR SPEED TASTINGS IS GONNA GET SHIVED!”

“My cheeks feel funny. My face ones.”

“Oh no, I’m too himbo for this.”

“MEAT KEG”

“But what if it breaks?!”

“It’s okay, I’ll buy a new coffin.”

“Come back you marshmallow fuck-”

“Prepare to get pumpkin spiced BINCH.”

“With respect: Fuck you, in the most loving way.”

“I recognize those bags under the eyes. One's Prada, the other's Gucci.“

“Oh my god what a good determined baby!“

“MR PRESIDENT, ITS AN EMERGENCY YOUR YAOI HANDS ARE GETTING WORSE!!”

“They are always all over me and wants my skeleton bones.”

“These hands are rated E for Everyone.”

“Get the holly jolly FUCK outta my house.“

“You have a whole NEST of grenades!”

“O-KAY ASSHOLE!”

“That's the power of the Ocean Man.”

“I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND A BODY!”

“... Surprised that you ask me to FIND a body rather than HIDE one, weird flex but okay.“

“Baby I’ll rotate your molecules.“

“[NAME] punches me in the face, obliterating me instantly“

“[NAME]'s classier than that. They are an escort.”

“Look as an aro I ship like fedex.“

“He’s not MY Himbo!”

“The new proud owner of a haunted house.”

“You cretin. You absolute feral cretin. What raised you?”

“I’M. NOT. THE. PROTAGONIST! I DON’T WANNA BE!”

“ I am a free range organic grown adult.”

“No, you’re not a glowstick. Stop cracking like one.”

“ Who doesn't love pain and misery? “

“We can’t keep doing this.”

#MegaMeme AskBox Games #Sentence Starters #One Liner Memes #(( meme one liners from a discord of friends is a ride. )) #(( God i forgot half of these. )) #(( also THIS MEANS YOU CAN SEND ME SOME AS WELL )) #(( reblog at hearts content. )) #(( attack my inbox ))

[fae-fucker]

So I’m reading Threadwitch Bride rn and so far it’s fine, but I’ve realized one thing I really dislike in stories with fae love interests and that I’m happy I haven’t really included in mine is how the heroine is like ... maybe not afraid of the hero, but more how she seems to think he’s above her or more superior to her, and that dampens the amount of sass she dishes out?

And it’s rarely painted as like, genuine fear, cuz she does give the occasional sassy reply for that girlboss cred and to make sure that the reader knows she’s not in any actual danger, but that actually makes it worse?

Like, if she’s not genuinely afraid of him, why does she hold back? Why does she keep waxing poetic about how much stronger and faster and better he is, and cowers in apprehension whenever he says something snarky or makes a comment about how shitty humans are? But then she’s not paralyzed with fear enough to stop herself from saying something sassy?

Either have her not fear him at all nor think he’s some infinite god being, or have her genuinely fear him and force him to earn her trust and make her comfortable enough to sass him on equal grounds. This wishy-washy bullshit that’s supposed to be all “oh he’s dangerous, but not dangerous enough to prevent some sassy banter” ends up being so cringy and overplayed and makes your heroine look both like she’s a wet fucking noodle for only having a spine 25% of the time, and like an idiot who’s turned on by someone she thinks might snap her in half like a glowstick.

I know it’s a het romance staple to have a hero who’s both “dangerous” and “hot” but the way it’s usually written makes the characters inconsistent and just feels really trite.

On that note, the way the heroines often display their attraction is also so bland and boring. It’s usually one of two very similar flavors, either, “Oh he’s dangerous and could snap me in half but oh my god he’s soo hot I just can’t help myself!” or “Oh he’s so sexy and fiiine but no, I shouldn’t! I shouldn’t because he’s bad!”

The first flavor is usually in stories where the relationship starts off as outright antagonistic and hostile, while the second flavor is in stories where they’re sniping at each other but otherwise non-violent. And both are annoying as fuck.

If a man is threatening you at gunpoint or forcibly kidnaps you, you won’t get fascinated by his jawline, I promise you. But being a slightly annoying and snarky piece of shit doesn’t prevent a man from being physically attractive. So don’t have the heroine jizz herself senseless when the man she’s genuinely frightened by threatens her, or let her admit that a man who’s mildly annoying can still be hot and enjoy that hotness.

It’s the sense of powerlessness and being subservient that gets to me. Like, not only is this dumb bitch literally overpowered by a bigstrong man at every step, usually outclassed both physically and verbally, but she’s also helpless against her own emotions and impulses? It’s pathetic. It’s not quirky or romantic, it’s just the same old gender essentialist manosphere bullshit but somehow it’s OK because it’s women perpetuating this shit? C’mon.

Fucking do better. You owe it to yourselves and the women you peddle this shit to.

#fae #fae romance #eff reads: stolen brides of the fae #romance novels #wait why am i putting tags on this #the website is broken #oh well

[sauntering-down]

hey guys back in September i reread the first six Warrior Cats books and today i reread all the spam i sent Mary y'all ready for this

tbh my One True Warrior Cats Headcanon is that Darkstripe absolutely wanted to bone Tigerstar

just gonna imagine THAT Ravenpaw does in fact wear glowsticks and is constantly hauling around a boombox so he and Barley can mosh

once we got to "cats with MAGIC POWERS" everything went downhill lol Firestar? no magic powers. big of heart, dumb of ass. gorgeous orange himbo. did a fantastic job.

"how can you be sure Barley will welcome me?" buddy you and Barley are going to have THE most loving and functional relationship in this entire neverending series

Thornclaw is one of those YA-novel immortals who dates teenagers even though he's centuries old and i, at age 32, think teenagers are fucking annoying children

me: looks up Thornclaw in the Warrior Cats wiki me: sees shit about 'codebreakers' and a fucking Brambleclaw imposter and closes the window immediately

CINDERPAW MY PRECIOUS CHILD and poor Brackenpaw, you're gonna be so neglected, dude.

Brackenfur is absolutely that neglected child who winds up super responsible at a young age and grows up well despite his upbringing

Bluestar: well you're doing a good job with Cinderpaw AND Brackenpaw so you might as well just Keep Doing That me: poor Brackenpaw

Fireheart, himbo: Tigerclaw LIED to lure BLUESTAR to the thunderpath and CINDERPAW WAS BADLY WOUNDED WHY WOULD HE DO THAT TO MY APPRENTICE Princess, has more than three braincells: wow that definitely doesn't sound like it was absolutely a trap for Bluestar

ah, poor Brackenpaw, passed around between temporary mentors like a hot potato...

Sandpaw: god dammit at least this kittypet dumpster fire is hot

Fireheart and Graystripe are getting into it! THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG

Cloudkit rolling up to the ThunderClan camp like: i'm babey and i want power

lmao love how Fireheart's up on the rock like "let all cats old enough to FUCK IT GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE NOW WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM"

Oakheart: these are DEFINITELY some abandoned kits and not my children with a ThunderClan cat Graypool: that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about ThunderClan to dispute it

i love how every description of Redtail is basically "snack-sized but absolutely will square up and kick anyone's ass"

AND THORNPAW THE LEGEND HIMSELF HAS ENTERED THE RING

whoops turns out Mistyfoot and Stonefur are filthy half-clan abominations!

Brackenpaw continues to be neglected if Graystripe could stop sliding into Silverstream's DMs for TWO MINUTES it'd be GREAT

everyone loves Cinderpaw and they're right to do so

Fireheart having a classic Orange Tabby Himbo moment - "oh wow, Stonefur and Mistyfoot look AMAZINGLY like Bluestar... IT'S SO TRAGIC CATS FROM DIFFERENT CLANS CAN RESEMBLE ONE ANOTHER AND YET MUST BE DIVIDED." but he redeems himself by actually bothering to train poor neglected Brackenpaw

Graystripe: oh yeah this dead cat is my secret RiverClan girlfriend and these are my lovechildren Tigerclaw: what the fuck for once having a reasonable reaction to Our Latest Bullshit

ahhhhh i missed Sandstorm's frigid bitch side SORRY GRAYSTRIPE YOU MADE SOME VERY BAD LIFE CHOICES

casual mention that Whitestorm and Willowpelt did the horizontal tango...

eyyyy Thornpaw Doin' A Rescue i love how Thornclaw has just become, like... an Immortal Legend (with an underage girlfriend)

Leopardfur... absolute #girlboss... bit of a bitch but we respect her craft...

i love [Bluestar] but she DOES completely Lose Her Gourd over the next two books...

Fireheart: man Tigerclaw's tiny baby son looks pretty sus

like damn, even Tigerstar wanted to be powerful and lead the Clans and shit... Ashfur's just a Nice Guy

Mousefur out-#girlbossing Leopardfur... iconic

Fireheart: BUT THAT ITTY-BITTY TIGERCLAW CLONE IS STILL SUPER SUS

Fireheart: TIGERCLAW JR IS STILL HAUNTING ME

YES FIREHEART YELLOWFANG MAY DIE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO SAVE TIGERSTAR'S HORRIBLE SON, A HELPLESS KITTEN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Tigerstar: SURPRISE BITCH I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME

Leopardfur's about to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her way into a Bad Alliance with Tigerstar ~caught in a bad romance~

good old Brackenfur... "he had the serious air of an older cat." that's probably all the neglect

ah, but at least Stonefur and Mistyfoot now get to learn they're filthy half-clan abominations!!

Fireheart: lame excuses for why Sandstorm shouldn't mentor Tawnykit Graystripe: dude as your BFF... you're an idiot... "this is why you haven't gotten laid yet, Fireheart."

Fireheart: THIS SMALL APPRENTICE IS STILL SUPER SUS

Fireheart is like. the equivalent of a grown man holding a gun on a kindergartner happily playing with some blocks Fireheart: this kitten is a POTENTIAL WAR CRIMINAL

Fireheart: hot damn Spottedleaf is still SMOKING meanwhile, Spottedleaf: PLEASE go bone down with Sandstorm, this is getting ridiculous

in my head Bluestar sounds like Cate Blanchett's Galadriel

every other time the poor guy tries to take a NAP his dreams just roll up like "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"

also i love how One-eye is just... always there lol. she's ancient and grouchy but like hell is she gonna die anytime soon she has to stay until Thornpaw is a warrior. he's the Clan's new Immortal Legend; she's gotta make sure she passes on the mantle

anyway fuck Darkstripe, Thornclaw is now the Immortal Legend he was always meant to be

love how Tigerstar barges in, kills an apprentice, and threatens to do the same to everyone else if Tallstar doesn't join him, and Tallstar's just like "u havin a giggle there m8? i'll bash your fookin head in i sware on me mum"

welp, Tigerstar fucked around and found out! got sent to the Shadow Realm for his trouble

love how Barley vagues "oh, Scourge doesn't believe in StarClan" instead of outright SAYING "he doesn't have nine lives" because... that would've been helpful to know

THE END that was one heck of a journey lol but a fun one... those books got me through some tough times back in the day... thank you for riding the Warrior Cats Express

(bonus from my brief dive into the Warrior Cats section of ao3)

utterly REKT by the idea of Oakheart being like "well, i seduced Bluestar, might as well try it on her deputy too and see if i can complete the set." Bluestar, upon reaching StarClan: ah, i can finally see Oakheart again... we did have an illicit relationship, after all... Redtail: wait you too Bluestar: Redtail: Bluestar: Redtail:

#Warrior Cats #imo this is a pretty good summary of the series #nobody cares about this besides Mary and i but yolo