#i love them all am

[andi-o-geyser]

a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind

#so in summary: #coffee grounds; room temp vodka; the feeling of first having root beer; coffee and bacon; maple syrup; grenadine; and a calzone #they are all so insane and i love them for it #and also its such a perfect representation of a brain #bc like! yeah! that IS what my thoughts are bouncing between when i'm asked what i want for a meal! i am that fucking bonkers sometimes!! #dimension 20 #dimension 20 mentopolis #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #d20 #dnd #brennan lee mulligan #hunch curio #anastasia tension #conrad schintz #the fix #imedla pulse #dan fucks #alex song xia #hank green #danielle radford #freddy wong #siobhan thompson #mike trapp #d20 cast #long post #andis thought geyser

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[1alchemistart]

dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!

happy valentines day :D

#sxf #spy x family #damianya #damian desmond #anya forger #my art #i am sleepy rn im scheduling this ahead of time like several hours ahead JKSDFKLS #unrelated to sxf. the tags are my speaking place shush #was not expecting the toby fox newsletter to have so much for me to think about JKKLDFSS #good ole gaster sending us love letters (we don't KNOW it's gaster but like. typing pattern + him being the only character to be like) #(directly referring to the game as deltarune) #ALSO THE WEATHERMEN HAVE NAMES NOW ?!?!? AND ARE IN LOVE ???!?! #so happy for them fr #i didnt get the mettaton card but like just know. that is my essence. all those blingee-core sparkles. those picmix hearts. me #anyway YIPPEE WAHOO

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers #stage in playful land #i hope this is legible whoops #anon i am sorry but you made the fatal mistake of asking me to talk about diasomnia #insert 'i just think they're neat' jpg #i do like the other characters a lot but they are definitely my favorites #they just hit a lot of my favorite things in characters i guess! #yes even you sebek even though you keep shrieking NINGEN at me #(it's okay he gets Character Development™ later) #and their dynamic! it's great! these guys frikking love each other SO much and they WILL have terrible terrible angst about it #ohoho delicious #give me all your emotional hangups baybeeeee #also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)' #to 'lilia is absolutely my favorite (and still the most fun to draw) (EVEN MORE fun now thank you swishy ponytail!)' #(it was probably when his candy coating got a little scratched and whoops all the tragedy fell out) #(where's that 'get loved loser' post because i need to staple it to lilia's forehead) #i am extremely bad at putting things into words so please don't ask me to explain it any further #just know that the diafam is everything to me and if we don't get more episode 7 soon i'm going to crumble into dust and blow away #we'll be getting the crowleytimes on monday and maybe there will be. idk. some foreshadowing or something in his groovy #probably not but LOOK i'm desperate

[toffee-arts]

. Kingfisher Feathers by Anonymous I binge read this fic the whole afternoon and lets just say I am inlove 🥺♥ political drama + wangxian = heaven

#also i am just a sucker for concubine fics #i love the drama #throw them all my way #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #art

[manyrepulsivethoughts]

that one post comparing ruin's and LN2 endings altered my brain chemistry so now have this

#aAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #they all can defend themselves just fine but they need to be protected #specially mono and six they've been through some shi- #six would def love freddy's music box and the little music mans #mono would pretty much be vibing with all of them #he would propably enjoy monty golf and bonnie bowl as well #cassie would be excited to show them all her favorite things and gregory be possessive over freddy #am I making an au out of this even though I said I 'd work on a different one? #perhaps #fnaf #fnaf fanart #fnaf au #fnaf security breach #fnaf cassie #fnaf gregory #glamrock freddy #roxane wolf #fnaf roxy #fnaf glamrock freddy #little nightmare mono #little nightmares six #ln six #ln mono

[nosleep83]

I’ve been in the tmnt fandom for a while now and I have come to the conclusion that every version of Mikey is either a sweet baby boy or a pothead

To clear things up a bit I made this.

#the placement might not be 100% accurate but #I love them all sm #(I am NOT including Bayverse Mikey you can’t make me ok) #tmnt #mutant mayhem #rottmnt #2012 tmnt #2003 tmnt #2007 tmnt #batman vs teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 1987 #tmnt michelangelo

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #cangse sanren #wei changze #jiang fengmian #It was important to me that WCZ had the hereditary mole. I will die on this hill. #I have been *waiting* for the day to finally arrive when I could finally make this comic. It's been marinating for months. #My mission is to redraw all of qour's character designs one day. They are just *that* good. #CSSR has the vibes of a wandering menace who shows up in towns like a stray cat arriving at a new doorstep for treats. 10/10. #While YZY strongly leads us to believe that JFM was in love with CSSR and that's his whole motivation behind taking wwx in- #-I do think this is (once again) rumour being presented as reality. It's the juicer story to tell after all. #It is still possible that he did love her! But I think that story undercuts the relationship he also had with WCZ. #Yall ever think about how JC and WWX parallel their fathers? How Wei Changze also left the Jiang Leader's side? I do. #Unlike JC though It is far more hilarious and plausible to imagine JFM begging to be CSSR and WCZ's third. You know he would. #My wild headcanon is that JFM and YZY are in a mlm and wlw arranged marriage situation. Deeply unhappy as partners. Better as friends. #they care for each other and I'll admit that there is a beautiful tragedy in them having romantic feelings for each other the whole time. #But I am also here for the gaffs. Let them be unfulfilled homosexuals together. #Meanwhile cssr and wcz are having incredible hetrosexual sex in a bisexual way that WILL leave him pregnant by the end of it.

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

#ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #okay i lied i do have justifications #adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick #it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH #and marinette would absolutely spoil him #but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell #but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating #meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow #like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe #so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat #adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

#I THINK I HAUVE COVID #oh to meet your love after a thousand years at a museum exhibit of your past lives #thinking about them makes me so sick so ILL DISEASED #I AM NOT IMMUNE #spc i’m cursing u forever for this wtf. WTF bro wtf #ouyang’s last thoughts were a desperate plea for esen to wait for him. #he has NEVER called him by first name he has NEVER asked him anything #and his last thought is asking him to wait #and esen does. bc he would have given ouyang anything he asked for #god i hope u get rawed so good it makes up for all the lost lifetimes u earned it #he who drowned the world #she who became the sun #the radiant emperor #general ouyang #esen-temur #(zhu also present in the golden imperial dragon and the golden light of gayness that brought them together again) #my art #not super proud of how it turned out tbh tbh it looks better in my head 😔😔 #would’ve stayed in the drafts if not for my need to feed this 4 ppl fandom #and if not for robin motivation nfngdjfb ty kissa you forever #id in alt text

[ciearcab]

the universe is, and we are

#outer wilds #digital art #heavypaint #illustration #i think ive shared these all here before but i wanted them in one post too c: #still in love with this game btw i am just. art blocked and bored

[almond-tofuuu]

Life with Zayne

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

An aesthetic

this man has taken over my life someone pls help, he's all I think about-

#zayne #love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne aesthetic #this is a serious problem #he's so #i love him #no thoughts just him #no one look at me #head full #many thoughts #all of them him #i am down horrendous #delulu

[beybuniki]

AU where Deku stays quirkless and he enrolls in UA's support department, he and bakugo befriend each other because they take the same train to school & Deku approaches him because they're both batfam fans :) they bond over common interest which also inspires them to work togetherrrrrr

#the canon event of bakugo bullying deku does not happen & i am usually not a fan of that its so crucial to them but this is a fun nerd au #they team up as either vigilantes or stay connected because bakugo interns under heroes that deku is also doing an apprenticeship under ig #deku is still connected to all might idk maybe thats his biological father for real this time or like he can be their bruce idk #anyway i think they'd be so fun as a duo i'd love to see deku navigatebattles and crimes without a quirk #and they have nerd discourse in their free time ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww #bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #deku #mei is deku's best friend in this universe :) #she covers for them when needed they rlly should be vigilantes sorry

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[circuscountdowns]

I don’t think the crown works like this. added the full pages

#narilamb #cw suggestive #cw gore #had sir Chloe’s I am the dog on repeat for this one. #Pls understand they never actually have sex they just 4d chess mind games all the time and they think it’s better and are still in love #oh you desire to wax poetic to my skull? You are like baby watch this - eats u alive and u love it. Weirdos. #I hc that lamb has zero libido but godhood gives them huge desire to eat flesh n meat unfortunately #cotl art

[lazylittledragon]

How was Astarion during Kits birth? I feel like he’d panic tbh

i think he would be his regular flippant self to hide that he was SHITTING BRICKS

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tavstarion #dadstarion #i feel like he ALMOST pushed it too far but not quite #because like. he’s a shit. but he does love him and this is a LOT #i also just don't think he's experienced someone he cares about being in pain and not being able to do anything about it #someone give him a hug #i am working through all my asks i swear #i like answering them like this