There’s something both very funny and kind of cosmically terrifying about CHEF from Risk of Rain. You land on this planet of strange creatures, giant crabs and very angry birds, that you try desperately to escape from…but to this guy? They’re just ingredients.
Imagine you’re a sentient mushroom creature, of which this planet has many, a drop pod crashes out of the sky and this robot climbs out of it and starts throwing cleavers with wild precision and blasting flame from the oven in its chest because it’s only directives are DICE and SEAR. That’s like, the worst case scenario for a sentient mushroom creature.
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Something I thought bout' Bullfrog-
It's been clearly established that Bullfrog's a master of his craft, a very skilled assassin, but one thing I noticed about how skilled he is was during the scene that he was basically properly seen in for the first time, Clip #2; him in the sewers trying to take down the antennae.
In that scene, he explains he can vaguely see the past and future in the bubbles he blows, and his opponents laugh at him, before he catches them off guard with the line: "Would you like to know which one of you will die first?"
How often has he done this with the intent to catch his targets off guard in order to dispatch them?
Additionally, as revealed by Ubisoft, he participated in the Wasteland War, which means he isn't a very young guy, and as far as I know, timeframes aren't established very often in this series, but it doesn't seem like this was an incredibly long time ago. However, considering how different the Warden looked at that time and now, its been a handful of years, and pushing it a little, maybe even a decade since the war. What I'm getting at with the war and how long ago it might've been, is that he has some years on him to know how to read people; he has a large amount of experience.
Does he say something like this whenever he's in a pickle to make his enemies laugh at how random this statement sounds, and then startling them with such a volatile question? Bullfrog's just a cute little frog after all, how dangerous could he really be?
Another thing is that it doesn't exactly seem like he's able to control when he's able to blow the bubbles either. He's cut off by one when he's introducing himself, and has no clue what Rayman is talking about until sometime later, which also establishes on occasion he can tell when they're able to happen, but he has no control over it.
AKA, there's a chance he was lying when he insinuated he saw in a bubble how he killed these three. Bullfrog uses other people's flippant opinions of him to his advantage.
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Mike headcanons
These are mostly sappy since they mention Mike’s relationship with Abby and Garret.
— His go-to is thrifting. He mostly gets clothes and toys for Abby.
— Mike has a box full of pictures (canon). He did cutouts of Abby and glued them to old pictures of Mike and Garret to have the 3 Schmidt’s together.
— Out of all the cartoons Abby watches he likes Snoopy the most.
— Mike does Abby’s hair. He learned how to deal with curly hair because Mrs. Schmidt always knew the right products to take care of his and Garret’s hair.
— Mike always lets Abby pick her clothes. As much color as they have he doesn’t mind.
— When Abby nonchalantly mentioned her art teacher wanting Abby to join the district’s art competition Mike was so proud. He couldn’t show it in words but he made waffles every morning for a week.
— After that, Mike wanted Abby to learn how to draw in any art medium, so every time he goes out and sees art tools Mike gets them for Abby even if it’s as insignificant as a single brush.
— Mike hates Christmas songs because it gives him flashbacks from working retail.
— Mike likes to read. He mostly reads psychology, poetry, and self-help books.
— Mike doesn’t listen to music. He has 12 songs in his playlist right now.
— Mike has a stuffed animal that belonged to Garret.
Back when they were Kids Mike always teased Garret for still having a small teddy bear he was giving when he was a few months old. Now, Mike has the stuffed animal in his closet. (lowkey inspired by the crying child ngl)
— Mike doesn’t like his birthday.
— Mike is love-deprived but his main love language is quality time and touch.
— He is not extroverted with his touch language, he is more of the type to caress your leg with his knee, or try to have his fingertips touch your cardigan.
— Mike counts how many seconds he needs to stay on the stop sign before going.
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Unknown x Reader HCs - An Uncomfortable Beginning
CW: Stalker unknown, general weirdo partner stuff, violence, general horror angst, all pronouns Unknown, some light NSFW themes
~♡
※ Being with the... "Nameless Legend" as it liked to be called was certainly a way to get around.
※ He's touchy, he's feely, and he's overall just plain creepy.
"Hey... You."
※ If you find yourself with the Unknown, I can only imagine it happened in a 'love at first sight' sort of way.
※ Maybe you were nice to her- Didn't scream, didn't run, didn't call her names.
※ Maybe you were fun to chase- Clever, able to get away like a cute little rodent. You didn't need to be fast or small to escape. Just smart.
※ Maybe... It just liked you.
※ Regardless of what it was, he'd never kill you. Would never wear your form. Just admire it as it was.
※ You wouldn't be entirely safe from it in the beginning, though. He had a job to do.
※ It did hurt, hearing and seeing you in pain. But it also gave her a rush.
※ Then again, you could always...
※ There's two major ways to gain his favor.
※ Option number one, the shitty teammate route.
※ Just follow other survivors around, and mess them up.
※ What's that? The killer's coming? Stand in front of their vault and make sure they can't get to it, and make the leap yourself at the perfect time so they'll get smacked around and downed.
※ Oh, the generators? Just keep messing up all your skill checks.
※ Someone needs healing? Or they're on hook? Just watch them. Or leave them.
※ It'll make it less likely that the Unknown goes after you entirely, but won't really get you any friends...
※ Option number two, show it affection.
※ The Unknown has an ego- It loves feeling important, powerful, intimidating and big.
※ Stand your ground, touch up on its hallucinations if you decide to dispell them, just admire it's grotesque form as it hobbles around and mutilates your fellow survivors.
"You must... Be lonely... Here."
※ Do your best to stay calm, get close to it, put your hands over hers.
※ Its twitchy form tilts its head, sickening cracks sounding.
※ Get your own hands on the axe. But don't take it. Just keep your eyes on its... Sockets.
※ His freakish face will grin even more, and soon enough you'll feel him touching your waist.
"Why so... Nervous... Tonight?"
※ The axe will slip from her hand if you keep your touch over her skin, eventually dropping entirely so she can grab you.
※ Try not to struggle. He likes your face. Keep your eyes open. Keep looking at it. Why are you looking away? Look at it.
※ Hopefully you keep it's attention long enough- And if you are actually finding yourself interested (which let's be honest, you are. you're here still.), then you probably do.
※ The gens are done, the other survivors are free to leave, and... You aren't.
"Hey... I have to go."
※ Be quiet when you speak, and don't make any sudden movements. It might get too excited if you do.
"I'll come see you again."
※ Its hesitant. It doesn't want you to leave.
※ It'll be a tense race of sorts- Scooping you up under their arm and over their hip like you're a bag.
※ He'll hobble his way to the exit gate... Set you down...
※ It's up to you if you try to find her again. But regardless of what you choose, you'll never escape now.
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