#i love this site with all my being

[topnotchquark]

Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.

Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.

And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.

But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.

#and nico's perspective of the same is just #being bullied as a child and being profoundly lonely till you find this friend who is in many ways the yardstick for performance #and even when you go through all this rancidity and the love has almost evaporated down to bare bones politeness #you know there is something that remains deep down #and so he gets your kids Christmas gifts each year #both their childhoods were sites of pain and both of them found something with each other #and lewis honours that by being a positive presence in nico's childrens' lives #albeit from a distance #and of course we're no strangers to how much Nico loves his kids #you can bet if Lewis had kids Nico would do that same #sorry this caught in my heart a little #I knew he had been giving presents for a while and I always thought of that as very beautiful but seeing it on the tl made me remember #man #love haunts you in such peculiar ways forever #brocedes #lewis hamiton #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1

[dovesick]

mothman in the glittering night

#anthro art #furry art #mothman #bug anthro #weird art #idk man thinking of tags is hard #i haven’t used bright red. blue & yellow in so long #maybe like a year #i used to love this colourscheme #it was fun to use it again #& just draw some glowing art. i always used to make glowing art #& something inside me snapped with the last one #i wanted to experiment more & not just do what i thought would succeed on ig #i absolutely hate that site with all of my being #i’m rly considering leaving #lol ranting in tags but whateva

[petzah394]

In light of the news of nebulaaaaaaaa being banned and now the even more likely risk of us getting nuked

It's been so much fun hanging with y'all in this corner of the internet, I hope even if we're all nuked we can find each other again and be cool together again

#love yall #god this feels like when the reddit shutdown happened all over again #being forced out of my social media site of choice by a ceo being a dickhead #i guess history does repeat itself

[junkanimate]

A piece of time

#lego ninjago #nya smith #kai smith #ninjago nya #ninjago kai #my art #basially I had this vision of all of them watching old photos #and I thought “well everyone would have made of Kai's hair” #so of course I had to draw Nya and Kai with their old design like an old memory #ALSO OMG KAY'S OLD HAIR????? IMPOSSIBLE #I DID HAVE A BAD TIME DRAWING THEM #also I would like to thank the site Color Designer for being very useful #I straight up forgot it existed and now i rember and i love it

[felixakranken]

TWF fans have a strange habit of, for lack of a better word, woobifying Mr. Walten.

I think a lot of you seem to take this series a lot less serious than it actually is, and those same people have a very bad habit of making Jack out to be a saint. He's just a normal guy. Just because he loves his family doesn't mean he's some sweet and perfect guy who has no flaws. I never see any of you discuss or portray his anger issues that Martin has mentioned numerous times.

You all blatantly ignore the fact that Sophie's only memories she retained of him were that he was angry and he worked all the time. Just because he loves his family and didn't abuse them doesn't mean he's perfect. To deny him of these flaws take away what a dynamic character he's being written to be.

We know Felix sucks. We all know this because no one shuts up about it. That's his best friend of 20 years, someone he chose to have around his family, and someone he chose to start a business with. Felix's actions don't reflect on Jack, obviously, but you have to think about the fact they are best friends of 2 decades.

The small bit we know about Jack and what things Martin has let on to his personality over time is very different than what everyone makes him out to be, and it's strange. If you choose to ignore that Jack is just a normal middle-aged man in the 70s, that's on your own inability to actually like the character that's there.

#I could continue about this rant but truly it's grating on my very last nerve #i remain the only guy on this site that likes the workaholic chainsmoker 40 year old man #you guys do realize a guy can be goofy and love his family and also have flaws #does anyone remember when martin said that jack and felix hang out at bars together? we ignoring that? #just like how we ignore the sophie's memory of him on the site? #or how martin has said when jack dislikes something he actively shits on it (cartoons fashion choices music etc) #its weird to make him out to be some poor saint of a father who has zero flaws and his only personality traits are i love my wife !!! #him being a normal human with a multifaceted personality makes what happened all the more sad and realistic. he was a normal guy #with a normal life that was torn apart in a horrific unforeseeable accident. let him be dynamic. let him be an actual character and not jus #some goofy cartoon funny man. #rant over #twf #the walten files #jack walten #🥃.txt

[juniperleafdelivery]

#my art #trans #side note: following tags are a pretty long thought dump #ugh okay i'm going to be honest #i didn't know anything about predstrogen until she was banned and many people started talking about her #also looked through photomatt's blog very briefly #to me he sounds callous- if that's the right word. he just didn't seem to care about what happened to predstrogen prior to her being banned #also? car with hammers that explodes multiple times feels far from being a serious death threat to me #yes predstrogen explicitly mentioned death wishes #but i don't know. what she said is more cartoonish than serious #also something i noticed from photomatt: where is the evidence that predstrogen threatened other users? #i haven't been looking into all this that deeply #but that photomatt stating that as part of the reason for predstrogen's ban and then not elaborating is. weird. for lack of better words #on a slightly different note: i love tumblr and how i can be my silly queer self and nobody cares #but if we don't stand up for each other — especially those who are constant targets for harrassment and other crappy things #tumblr will eventually die or bear no resemblance to the site i enjoy so much #maybe i'm privileged! being a trans masc guy #or maybe i'm ignorant #but i guess i have a tendency to say a lot. and i hate staying silent when i have the opportunity to speak out #so i'm going to scream #and i hope y'all are going to speak in support of trans women too

[captainkingsley]

i almost want to apologize for this

#mollymauk tealeaf #critical role spoilers #i guess #from the comic preview on dark horses site #men being gender neutral here bc molly. genderfluid. but hey #but this was my literal first thought looking at him #this is all affectionate btw i love Molly and i encourage his behavior 💜

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat). #the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates— #not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself” #but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference? #on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on

[amazinlei]

Me, enjoying Poppy Playtime until I remember what day it is and the hyperfixation comes back:

#my catnap and dogday plushies be like: SHE DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE MUTT #dogday is getting dragged back into the abyss as he screams and cries #I'm on art block right now but drawing this would be so damn funny #also fun fact I CRIED at the homewarming story because wally being sad MADE ME SAD #and then barnaby's advice and reassurance had me full on bawling #it was john silver's speech in treasure planet all over again #there's still so much I haven't yet explored on the site so but all I know is that I'm going to give poppy a kiss ;-; #actually scratch that the HOLD CAST needs either a forehead kissy or big hug #I NEED to let them know how much I love all of them... #Lei stop being silly #Welcome Home #Poppy Playtime #smiling critters

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when your mom asks you to send her some of your recent art but all of your recent art is these gay ass puppets. Uh

#sending her stuff was like #'oh heres a dragon.... *quick scrolling past all the laughingstock* and heres um... another dragon....' #the silence on my end of the call while i looked for Presentable Stuff was deafening #i was like She Cant Know She Cant Know #she already thinks im fucking insane for my interest in a fake puppet show. like. #cant let her know im obsessed with two of said puppets being Gay and In Love #trying to be sooooo normal in my day-to-day life & around people outside of this webbed site #that way all of the Unwellness is reserved for you guys <3 you're so welcome <3 #its so hard though its really an Ordeal smh #everything reminds me of Them... #absolutely unprompted #stg when i do land a job im gonna need to practice masking to hell and back bc that shit crumbleddddd during the past few years #i cant be in the middle of isle 3 having a Category Five Me Moment bc i had a cute laughingstock thought

[snixx]

the 39 clues girlies are having a field day in the notes of a post I made months ago and all I can do is gaze upon them fondly as I remember the most passionate late lover of my life

#they want to revive the fandom 🥹 #oh the stories i could tell #jesus my t39c hyperfixation was definitely a Time. i don't think I've had a more intense hyperfixation ever #i can STILL name all the clues off the top of my head. five years later #i feel like a grandma #i don't get as sad over it or as excited every time i see a sign of someone wanting to revive the fandom as i used to but #your first love never dies and all #throwback to that time i tried to organise an internet clue hunt!!! we should totally do that on tumblr it could be so fun #i had so many ideas damn #the 39 clues #girlblogging.pdf #holy shit wait it's more like 7 years now. not five #broooooo #almost 8 tbh #i miss the site i miss the ffn forums i miss the books being in stores... #i miss the gc that made me get a tumblr in the firstplace #oof #i do not play about this series when i say i am INSUFFERABLE about it #i literally used to think about it 24/7 for years not exaggerating #i had to relate everything to it i still do #i was fully convinced i was an undercover lucian agent #who am I kidding i still do #i don't have one notebook without all the clues listed in them from some time i was bored in class

[greatgaspiads]

Slumber/PJ Party

Babes Week 2023, Day 6

And a little something extra—an alternate timeline if you will—below the cut 😉

#BeetleBabes Week 2023 #Babes Week 2023 #Beetlebabes #Beetlelyds #Musicalbabes #Lydia #Beetlejuice #My Artwork #I'M SORRY THIS WAS LATE I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT #And expect Day 7 to be somewhere far off in the future b/c we got a little ambitious with that and nothing but my best efforts will do #Beetlejuice the Musical #Beetlejuice Musical #Also 100% based his PJs off of #Toonjuice #And you can bet your buttons if this was actual color they would be SO pink #I also swear half of filling this in was just figuring out how to use the beetle pattern I downloaded #Also #Time to see where Tumblr cuts off my tags #They're all relevant you dumb site so KEEP THEM #Nothing relevant is happening at this point but suffice to say I love them being soft with each other #And I also love them absolutely ready to crush the other in their ascension to greatness #And that is all #Those feminine wiles aren't for nothing you know

[stickbug-made-entirely-of-spite]

I keep forgetting that I maxed out my likes for today, and getting sad when tumblr doesn't let me show all the neat posts my appreciation TT^TT

Curse this adhd-induced lack of object permanence!! >:[

#shitpost #LET ME SHOW ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE MY LOVE AND SUPPORT!! >:[[[ #I'm being silenced by a blogging site #this is ridiculous #I HAVE RIGHTS

[arcxnumvitae]

The fandom mischaracterization stuff from yesterday now has me fondly reminiscing.

#I've been on this site since 2015 and I kept remarking a few years back how I'd manage to mostly avoid seeing and being involved in mess #and the universe heard that. and it laughed. #I think my favorite was seeing someone years ago write out a call out post about how their mutuals and muses had mistreated their muse #in some inter-muse relationship drama #/and then tagged them in it/ #and then I kid you not #ended the post saying 'and don't apologize to me (the mun). All apologies need to be made to (muse) and they better be genuine' #I love T.umblr where else are you going to find mess like this

[r0semultiverse]

A message to the recent & future transgender pick-mes.

If you’re a trans pick-me (no matter where you align with gender) there’s a special place in Hell just for you & I don’t even believe in Hell. Having trauma isn’t excusing your actions of going out of your way to hurt other people actively. It explains that it comes from a place of hurt potentially or you’re just turning into a rage-bait influencer because it makes you money. Either way you come after trans people who don’t do being trans exactly like you so they “aren’t really trans.” You get a taste of the right-wing rage-bait money pot & you wanna keep going because money & maybe some weird part of you thinks this will save you from transphobic attacks? Honey, we’re all just fags to them no matter how we look or act. Even if you’re a cis person not following the norm or unaware of the politics of it all, you’re still just a faggot to them who they will eventually want to snuff out. I’m saying this as a tranny fag just to be clear! You can’t be playing these exclusion games & thinking it’s going to make you powerful! Even Milo Yionnapolis or whatever that fucker’s name was got dropped by the Trump Administration! They do not like us & they never will like us! Democrat, republican, whatever it is; if it’s capitalist, it doesn’t like us! No matter how much you lick those boots, it’ll do you no good. You’re a faggot/tranny just like me & the rest of us, that’s how these suits see it & always will see it no matter how much you try to prove “I’m one of the good ones.” They aren’t going to save you, we’re all on the chopping block to them no matter what our politics are. These government folks don’t see any of us as “one of the good ones.” Get over yourself, grow the fuck up, and stand side-by-side with your transsexual siblings! All we have is each other, these cis people aren’t shit! 💜 Down with cis! 💜

#if you don’t know what a pick-me is read the post and or look it up #I’m not going to name names because I’m not a pick me bich with a big following #& unlike the money making influencers I don’t have the luxury of people demanding my account be brought back on other sites #hate that word ‘influencer’ but it serves the purpose of this topic in particular #this goes out to certain Kellys & Bucks & Kalvins & all the other sniveling whiny irrelevant pick-mes who play the I got mine so screw you #card & betray the very people who supported them & for being a traitor to their wider community of trans siblings #imagine wanting to be a bitter angry obnoxious influencer until you eventually pass away; that is honestly a skill issue #grow some compassion & learn to love the people & things around you; that’ll do you much better than a life of pointless performativity #I think we should bring back the phrase #down with cis #& I mean that genuinely #these self hating trans circles much like the people crusading after trans people will only eat themselves & each other alive #you’re better off supporting & sticking by your trans siblings; yes even the ones who you think do gender weird or have neopronouns #get over yourselves please; neopronouns aren’t even probably new tbh but this isn’t a history post #mine #op #trans #transgender #nonbinary #enby #tw slur #tw slurs #cw slurs #slurs tw #tw t slur #tw f slur #f slur #t slur #slurs cw

[feline-evil]

I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself

#jay talkin #im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays #i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust) #im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal #i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak #sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening #believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth #ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can #damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting #do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that #glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here #ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach #and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face #it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency #is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so #it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright #oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons #love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse #love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh