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arminsumi · 4 months

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★ Satoru's undercut

★ Synopsis : He fears the hairdresser like it's the dentist. One day, he accidentally gets an undercut style. He would have thrown a tantrum if it weren't for your positive response — because all he really cares about is that you enjoy his haircut.

★ Content : soft fluff, romantic tension, some mutual pining??

★ Library ★ reblog for a cake slice! 🍰

"This will ruin my life..."

"It will not ruin your life."

"I'm gonna die!"

"You're not gonna die."

"Yes, I'm gonna die! They're gonna cut my head off."

"They're not gonna cut your head off."

Satoru had a haircut appointment which you were accompanying him to as per his desperate demand request. Suguru was there also, helping Shoko with something technical on her phone. He laughed when Satoru was whining to you.

The four of you were on the train; Suguru and Shoko stood tightly packed with their backs facing other people as if they were the group shield. And Satoru sat next to you, clinging to your arm as if he were a kid on his way to the dentist.

"Don't laugh. You know I feel the same about hairdressers as people feel about dentists!" he pouted.

"Satoru, you're so weird." you said.

“I'm not!”

You shook your head at him. Satoru grumbled.

"No one understands me!" he said dramatically.

Suguru commented, "I do understand why you dislike hairdressers, Satoru; most of them don't cut your hair how you want."

Shoko nodded and chimed in, "— yup, and you usually leave with a fake smile and say "oh wowww... I love it!" but you actually hate it." then she went back to frowning at her phone with Suguru.

“My hair is important, I can't afford to have a bad haircut." Satoru said.

"Haha, you make it sound like if you have a bad haircut it could cost you millions." you laughed.

Satoru sat up straighter and spoke seriously, "It may as well cost me millions!"

You didn't understand why Satoru was being so dramatic.

****

The hairdresser looked at you, Shoko and Suguru and then wondered why so many people were accompanying this grown man to his haircut, as if he were about to get a root canal for the first time.

Suguru whispered into her ear, and she blushed at his alluring charm like anyone would.

"He's scared of bad haircuts... so please do your best, he has a girl to impress. See that one sitting there?” Suguru pointed to you, “Yeah, that's the one."

He accidentally flustered her, and he smirked about it when he returned to you and Shoko.

"Suguru, your head looks as big as a bubble about ready to pop." you joked, noticing his smug demeanor as he took a waiting seat with you.

"I think I just flustered the hairdresser on accident." he said.

Shoko chuckled, "Is it ever an accident? I think you do it on purpose — oh, Y/n, I think Satoru is trying to get your attention. Give him some comfort."

Satoru recoiled when the cold blade of the scissors touched his neck, and looked distressed when the hairdresser touched his hair.

You knew he was highly sensitive to touch, especially his hair — he hated people touching his hair (reason X for hating hairdressers). The only person who was allowed to touch his hair was you. Suguru and Shoko needed a "valid reason" for touching Satoru's hair.

But you could comb your fingers through his hair any time, any place for no reason and Satoru would go limp with a smile on his face, completely melting for the act of affection.

Sometimes when it was just you and him alone together in his apartment, especially during his sleepless nights, Satoru would lay his tired head on your lap and ask you to play with his hair. Each stroke of your hand mellowed him out. He especially loved the feeling of your fingers running through his hair when it was fluffy and long.

So really, he feared not the hairdresser or even the bad haircut, but the fact that it might be too short or not fluffy enough for you to enjoy. It had to be just right. He had to maintain his fluffy hair for you.

He wanted to make sure that when you saw him at every party and get-together, you'd think "Wow, Satoru's hair looks so good.". He wanted you to compliment his hair and make him feel good and blushy.

And most of all, he just wanted to please your eyes. He wanted you to be starstruck when you looked at him.

So, a good haircut was critical.

****

Satoru's panic calmed after you took the empty seat next to him. He watched in admiration as you struck up a friendly conversation with the hairdresser. She turned out to be kind. She was an apprentice (picture nervous Satoru stiffening his shoulders when he learned this) and her mother owned the establishment next door.

Satoru was mostly quiet and focused on his reflection in the mirror. He squinted in suspicion when the lady brought out a hair buzzer.

But then you distracted Satoru by asking about what the four of you were doing after this. He stuttered a bit, half-looking at the hair buzzer and jumping a little when it turned on.

You talked so much that Satoru was completely distracted, and the lady could work. Though, it was hard, because Satoru didn't really specify what he wanted... so she winged it.

She thought hey, this guy would look good with an undercut. So, she cut an undercut for Satoru, and looked at you and smirked. His girlfriend will appreciate it, she thought as she looked at you and Satoru talking with hearts in your eyes.

You weren't his girlfriend. But you may as well have been. The two of you were anyways soulmates since kindergarten. Sure, you went away for five years to work abroad, but the link between you and Satoru wasn't broken by the distance.

****

Satoru gasped and nearly fainted when he saw how short his hair had been buzzed at the bottom. His neck felt exposed and suddenly it felt more drafty.

"What the—"

"— oh, you look hot, Satoru." You said.

He immediately shut up and went red in the face.

"Thanks, yeah it looks... yeah." Satoru hesitantly complimented the hairdresser's work.

She beamed proudly and wrapped up the haircutting session. Satoru took off the black dressing gown and stood up and shimmied the white hair off his pants.

"The cat is shedding." you joked, making Satoru grin with sealed lips.

You picked a white strand of his hair off the back of his shirt when he stood in line to pay at the checkout. He didn't notice. Such a cute boy.

Satoru was just grumbling to himself about how he'd need a scarf or turtleneck to compensate for his "practically naked" hairstyle now.

You stared at his undercut and felt your heartbeat get a bit frantic.

Then you kept staring as you left the barber shop.

Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders out of habit, as if he were your boyfriend, so the hairdresser felt sure that you two were dating and said something as you two left that really made you and Satoru blush;

"Your girlfriend loves it." she winked.

"I'm not his—"

"She's not my—"

"She sure does! Thanks for everything, see ya." Shoko cut off you and Satoru from responding and shoved the two of you out the door.

****

That comment lingered in the back of yours and Satoru's minds for the rest of the day.

On the train home, you grazed your fingers over Satoru's undercut and it elicited the funniest reaction out of him; he shivered like a cat that had just been scratched in a sweet spot.

"Haha, does that feel good?" you asked.

"It does. But my neck feels naked." Satoru shrugged.

Oh my god, do that again, he thought. It felt so good.

"Aw, then Y/n should wrap her arms around your neck." Suguru said in a flirtatious murmur.

Shoko laughed and propped a cigarette between her lips.

The four of you got off the train, you parted ways. Suguru and Shoko lived in different places and had to wait for their respective trains to take them home. So, you said your goodbyes and went with Satoru.

When you and Satoru moved out of your university housing, you both decided to live on the same street. You can say it was for X reasons, like oh it's a good neighborhood or oh the prices are great or oh the apartment walls aren't thin... but let's be honest; you and Satoru just didn't want to live too far from each other. You were inseparable, even cry-babies whenever the two of you were separated.

Satoru was always clinging or touching you in some way – hanging off your shoulders, resting his chin on the top of your head, draping an arm around you, holding your hand, snuggling into your neck. The closeness brought him more comfort than his own bed. He even claimed once that he could fall asleep on you more readily than on his bed.

Sometimes he was just shy of kissing you when you two met up, or when he knocked on your apartment door some mornings. His lips would graze over yours by accident in some circumstances, and though the two of you would laugh it off, there was an unmistakable spark in the air between you and him.

****

“Do you like it?” Satoru asked.

“I love it. You look really good.” You replied.

Satoru smiled to himself, hiding his face in your lap.

The TV was playing the most recent episode of that trashy romance soap opera – the episode where the two love interests kissed in the rain. Satoru stared hard at their lips connecting, and thought of why he hasn’t attempted to kiss you again. He didn’t want to ruin anything, so he kept his confession to himself even if it was obvious that he liked you.

You noticed he went a bit silent as you ran your fingers through his hair. He made a soft, long groan when your fingertips tickled up the back of his neck and over his prickly undercut.

“You sound like a cat.” You laughed.

His eyes were closed, brows relaxed into a sleepy arch. Whenever he got drowsy in your lap, his lips would part and show his two front teeth.

****

After getting an undercut hairstyle, Satoru was living in heaven with how much attention you gave his hair. Every day you’d find an excuse to play with his hair.

It made his heart beat harder and his mind go blank whenever you touched his neck and hair. He’d get shivers and close his eyes each time you did it, and would even stop talking mid-sentence.

In time it grew out. He refused to go back to the hairdresser, and instead insisted that you cut his hair for him. At first, he attempted to do it himself, but then he wimped out as soon as he held the scissors to his hair.

So, after he practically begged you on his knees and voiced his fear for the hairdresser, you agreed.

Cutting Satoru’s hair was a whole event. You invited Suguru and Shoko over to your apartment, and the four of you were laughing in the cramped bathroom together.

You had no idea what you were doing, and the online tutorials didn’t help much.

Satoru was dramatic when he thought you were cutting it too short or jagged, and he was so very picky that it drove you nuts to the point of putting the scissors down and leaving. But then he hugged your legs and apologized cutely, so you came back. Suguru and Shoko had to get it on camera because it was pure comedy.

“Alright, fairy princess. How did I do?” you asked Satoru.

He checked himself out in the mirror. His jawline and shorter hair drove you a bit wild, it was hard to contain yourself.

“It’s okay.” He replied cheekily.

“Just “okay”?! I put my soul into this!”

He grinned. “I’m just teasing.” He said, “I like it. Now let’s test it out.”

You looked confused. “Test it out?”

“Play with my hair.” He explained, “And tell me you like how it feels or else I’ll cry.” He added dramatically.

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

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prettieinpink · 5 months

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SELF VALIDATION

First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness.

E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself.

VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth.

SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test.

BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily.

BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.

STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.

SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.

DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor.

KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority.

OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day.

BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret.

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aquickstart · 4 months

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i need to talk to you guys about the colors of the Cattons (Felix specifically) and Oliver. the clothes they are wearing are telling the story of Oliver taking over and leaving his mark throughout the whole movie, with Oliver's failures and successes and a final triumph. holy shit. get in. this is long and ends in ancient greek culture trivia. let;s talk please.

disclaimer: am starting from Oliver's arrival at Saltburn. before that the outfits are also very intentional, but it's a lot more complicated and it has been discussed before. the world distorts once we are at Saltburn and the story gets truly gothic there, and every detail—including color!—is enhanced in meaning. also, special thanks to @kivlaro for doing this with me, the thoughts on this specifically and the Saltburn craze on the whole. pics and detailed analysis under the cut!

let's start from the beginning. here is Oliver at the door. simple, blue shirt.

the shirt is sort of its own character. logically it makes sense as Oliver's suitcase is small and he spends the whole summer there, of course he'll rewear stuff a bunch. but it is blue.

in contrast to Felix, in yellow. yellow is one of Felix's colors (he is the sun, which i've talked about here btw, so this makes sense).

same to Pamela, in blue. first time we see her, she is next to Elspeth, wearing the color that is Oliver's, taking the place that he takes right away, in this very scene. the only other time she is physically present on screen is at dinner, in black and white, and black and white are a blank slate. she is stripped of color and gone very fast.

a bit of crucial data for later: Oliver, in blue, and Felix in pink. pink is very important on Felix. this is their first morning together. they are separate and opposite, solid, contained.

where it starts to get good is the morning after the vampire strike.

Venetia is a Felix extension, just as everyone in the house is to Oliver. i will eventually rant about Saltburn as a whole entity and Cattons as aspects of one self, and Oliver as psychosis, but not here. so, yes, Venetia is a pink riot, a euphoria of self-containment because Oliver gave her a piece of something she felt she lacked to feel whole (validation, attention, care), not a piece of blue, of himself. Oliver is expectedly solid blue. Felix is incredibly interesting and something i didn't pay much attention to at first: predominantly blue, incredibly upset at Oliver for ditching him, with a tile of bright red (on the left! close to heart! over-reaching here but like still!), which still tracks. i mean, really, if i had so much foreign color bleed into me and then abandoned, i'd be pissed, too. nice little touch is sir James' beloved hydrangeas, behind Felix, also pink, very pink, always pink; i don't think i've seen them blue in the movie, although the sort exists.

Farleigh. sweet baby Farleigh i love you. I'm not dead-set on my interpretation of this specifically but i think multiple things are happening with Oliver and Farleigh here. like Rent, which is their song, blue is their color of outsiders and the triers to fit in. Farleigh points out the favoritism and preference of Oliver to him and his mother here, so it may also be appropriation of color to draw attention to Farleigh as almost (but never quite) Oliver. it may also be as simple as that Farleigh, as much as he denies and resists, still retains Oliver's influence, which bleeds into him very slowly.

a nice little moment of Felix wearing blue swim shorts with just tiny specks of a pink pattern. Oliver's shorts also have a bit of pink, but less than Felix's. Oliver is pretty good at remaining unaffected and uninfluenced overall.

and we're getting to where it all clicked and started for me. the Quick family house, the failed reconciliation, and the immediate aftermath. oh it's so good.

on the drive there, Oliver is blue, Felix has a pink polo shirt with a solid blue pullover over it. this is the most blue Felix has ever been (this is the most blue he will ever be!), this is trust. however shaky and toxic it is, Felix loves Oliver and accepts him into his world. as a side note, Oliver's parents are also very blue, mom more so than dad. nice!

and then it crashes. immediately after, it's the evening of the same day, but Felix is not wearing the blue pullover anymore. this is very, very important. this is rejection. it's the end for Oliver in Felix's world and with his trust. Felix, again, in solid pink, Oliver in solid blue. Felix successfully rips him out with the roots and everything. ouch.

daddy. sorry. is that highlighter? sweat? fuck. let me- daddy. SORRY

no i actually have a point about this.

the clothes are replaced by the lights, but we roll with it. Oliver basks in the blue-green light, while Felix is on the other side, in pink and purple and red. sure, blue shines through, and Oliver also walks through the slashes of pink, but it is mostly pretty separate, Oliver watching Felix's pink in his own blue from a distance.

the morning after palette is deep. the wine color that is so prominent in these scenes is fascinating to me. if i were to over-reach again i'd say it's the Oliver in Felix's attributes and in his place that requires the robe to be so dark, not usual definite pink, because deep blue has leaked into the color itself, mixed with it, made itself integral to the shade. but it's also just a nice color, and it is pink in its core. the flowers (with sir James in the background) i think are also this specific shade for the same reason. you look at what remains of Felix everywhere here, and it is his color.

and finally oh the lunch scene. the last supper. the judgement day. the who's afraid of virginia woolf madness.

i think we've established what's up with Oliver, but i also think it's important that he is his own color at lunch but in Felix's pink/wine right before and after. lunch is where he attacks, whereas before and after is where he grieves and enjoys. Farleigh is almost completely blue save for a strip of the same deep pink, and he is soon cast out, and Venetia is striped, blue and pink/salmon, affected deeply by Oliver yet still clinging on to the Catton pink with grief, probably, but also love for Felix.

and after all this, Oliver leaves himself.

no, like, actually, literally himself. sure, he'd got a taste of the Cattons and the pink, but he is a monolith, a solid blue when he leaves Saltburn. he has not been affected by the house, he has taken what he wanted but stayed true and whole. what a power move, honestly.

but it's an even bigger deal that 16 years later, Elspeth runs into Oliver wearing all white and a blue scarf. oh, she's not let this go, alright; it was a long time ago, "but not to me," she says. What Oliver has been up to in that time is a great question, without a doubt he's been keeping tabs on the remaining family as much as he could; but Elspeth has never moved on, either. She has held on to Oliver's blue and the pink is not important at all now. Oliver, of course, is invariably, unwaveringly blue. welcome back to his show.

and welcome back to his triumph.

the only color (except for, again, white and black) we see him wear in the flashback about Saltburn inheritance is the all-too familiar deep pink. wine. bright pink mixed with deep blue.

now i will take a liberty and step back, over-reach, over-interpret and go insane. here's a fun bit on ancient greek culture trivia for you.

this is an interesting and complicated historiographical and linguistic debate that i will not even attempt to relay here, but the essence of it is this: for us, the sea is conventionally deep blue. historically, one of the most prominent civilizations considered "deep wine" to be the descriptor for it (not necessarily the color but the property. highly rec to look this up it's so fascinating). what it gives me here is that Oliver has changed color, but not his self. he has integrated, mixed, but persisted, completely winning over, triumphing. long live the king!

in conclusion, i would just like to propose "colors" by halsey as the next cattonquick anthem. thank you for your attention, please let me know your thoughts. yours, yes, you. cheers. god. peace out

#saltburn #cattonquick #quickstart #oliver quick #farleigh start #felix catton #venetia catton #mine #saltburn journaling

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biceratops7 · 8 months

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I’m gonna SCREAM-

We’ve already established as a fandom that Metatron could teach a masterclass on gas lighting, but I wanna talk about how he specifically validates the things Aziraphale cares for while simultaneously devaluing them under the surface.

First off, this moment?

Tells us everything we need to know. It sets the scene for exactly the games Metatron is playing. He makes Muriel feel important while openly insulting them (flat out calling them stupid), aka seamlessly reinforcing the idea that they’re less than to both them and anyone else in the room. He knows he can get away with this easily, he knows that Muriel, lonely, overlooked little Muriel, will be completely distracted by the fact that someone so important is taking an interest in them.

This is already horribly clever, but then later on you realize it’s doing even MORE heavy lifting when he appoints Muriel to run the bookshop. “See? What’s important to you is what’s important to me! I’ve graciously taken the time to ensure your beloved shop is looked after by Muriel. You know, the dim one!” …let’s suffice it to say he’s ensnared too birds with one net for this one, and that a pattern is already starting to arise.

So when Metatron says Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he’s a “natural leader” and “doesn’t just tell people what they wanna hear”? Yah he’s full of shit. Aziraphale struggles with his sense of purpose when he doesn’t have someone or something guiding him, and for thousands of years he’s been terrified of sharing his true feelings and opinions to 90% of people he’s known. Completely just trying to butter him up. Wanna know the real reason Gabriel seeks asylum with Aziraphale?

Exactly this. Gabriel just says so point blank. It’s not because Aziraphale is this person for him, it’s because despite knowing nothing, he has this instinct that Aziraphale is the only one who can possibly understand why Gabriel did what he did. He is, I mean as far as we know, the only other angel who has fallen in love. (In general, let alone with a demon.)

But nope, can’t have that. We can throw the promise of restoring Crowley in the mix to sweeten the pot, but we can’t acknowledge why he’d want that so badly in the first place. So now it’s cause they work so well together. We can praise the angel for the fallen archangel Gabriel himself coming to him protection and guidance, give him a gold star. But we couldn’t DARE imply that it was by virtue of Aziraphale’s courage to choose earthly love over heavenly. How Gabriel didn’t need a leader, but a friend who’s truly known the joys of adoring that “particular person” and the pain of needing to hide it.

Cause then Aziraphale would start getting crazy ideas, like that his silly little human feelings have a great deal of worth. That they have the power to inspire, form cracks in the institution, fundamentally weaken what has controlled and harmed him. We wouldn’t want him to know the true value of the cards he holds when he has the ace in a match against you, now would we? After all…

Metatron uses this ingeniously sinister tactic of taking away Aziraphale’s choice while giving the illusion that he’s actually opening up doors. Notice how he tells Aziraphale he would have the authority to do something as extraordinary as turn a demon into an angel, yet he never once puts the much simpler alternative of just working with a demon on the table? The sleight of hand here is that he’s being offered the opportunity to freely be with Crowley… but he’s already freely with him as is, no bargain to be made. In fact he fought to be. Metatron disappears this accomplishment right before our eyes, while seamlessly maintaining the illusion to Aziraphale that he (Zira) is in control.

He sets Aziraphale up for failure by only providing the option he knows Crowley will not only decline but be deeply hurt by. It’s all so cleverly planned. Once this plays out exactly how he wants, he delivers the finishing blow by diminishing Crowley and his “damned fool questions”. Suddenly doing a complete 180 and emphasizing how foolish and troublesome he is. Metatron was offering Crowley by Aziraphale’s side as The Carrot. Now he’s telling Aziraphale it was stupid of him to want The Carrot, un-heavenly.

Aziraphale’s life, love, happiness, it’s all not only a massive inconvenience for Metatron but a liability. He has successfully taken a weapon from Aziraphale’s hands he didn’t even know he had. Metatron sees the writing on the wall, and he wants it contained.

#THE southern pansy doesn’t even realize he’s about to start a jod damn revolution #quick! annihilate his self esteem so he doesn’t start making people sniff out the bullshit on PURPOSE #good omens #ineffable husbands #season 2 #2x06 #meta #analysis #aziraphale #crowley #Muriel #metatron #Renew good omens #biceratops #Gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy

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genderkoolaid · 2 months

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yeah, but you do mean 'loveless' like 'romanceless' right? Just cause you're not interested in a romantic partnership, and you're never attracted to anyone romantically, that doesn't mean you can't love your family and your friends. Am I understanding wrong? I feel like it's a widely accepted concept that 'love' isn't just romantic, it's about caring about someone, no matter if they're your family or platonic friend or your pet.

No, "loveless" means love-less. Another anon also asked me to explain as well so:

"Lovelessness" in the aro context comes from the essay I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook. The essay confronts normative ideas on love, its inherent positivity and what it means to not love. From the introduction, which brings up the question of non-romantic love:

This June, I saw an increasing number of positivity and support posts for the aromantic and a-spec communities discussing the amatonormativity of “everyone falls in love”. I agree: the idea that romantic love is something everyone experiences, and is therefore a marker of human worth, needs deconstruction. Unfortunately, a majority of these posts are replacing the shackles of amatonormativity with restrictive lines like “everyone loves, just not always romantically”, referencing the importance of loving friends, QPPs, family members and pets. Sometimes it moves away from people to encompass love for hobbies, experiences, occupations and ourselves. The what and how tends to vary from post to post, but the idea that we do and must love someone or something, and this love redeems us as human and renders us undeserving of hatred, is being pushed to the point where I don’t feel safe or welcome in my own aromantic community. Even in the posts meant to be challenging the more obvious amatonormativity, it is presumed that aros must, in some way, love. I’ve spent weeks watching my a-spec and aro communities throw neurodiverse and survivor aros under the bus in order to do what the aromantic community oft accuses alloromantic aces of doing: using their ability to love as a defence of their humanity. Because I love, they say, I also don’t deserve to be a target of hatred, aggression and abuse. But what if I don’t love? What if love itself has been the mechanism of the hatred and violence I have endured? Why am I, an aro, neurodiverse survivor of abuse and bullying, still acceptable collateral damage?

The author criticizes the idea of "true love" that is incapable of harm. Ze questions why we construct love in that way, and how it ignores and simplifies the experiences of victims of abuse ("It’s comforting to think that a love that wounds isn’t real love, but it denies the complexity of experience and feeling had by survivors. It denies the complexity of experience and feeling that makes it harder for us to identify abuse and escape its claws. It denies the validity of survivors who look at love and feel an honest doubt about its worth, as a word or a concept, in our own interactions and experiences.") Ze talks about being forced to say "I love you" to transphobic, abusive parents whose feelings of love was the justification for their abuse.

The core of what "loveless" as an concept is about is summed up in this quote:

There is no substantial difference between saying “I’m human because I fall in love”, “I’m human because I love my friends” and “I’m human because I love calligraphy”. All three statements make human worth contingent on certain behaviours, feelings and experiences. Expanding the definition of what kinds of love make us human does nothing but save some aros from abuse and antagonism … while telling survivor and neurodiverse aros, who are more likely to have complex relationships to love as a concept or are unable to perform it in ways recognised by others, that we’re still not worthy.

Lovelessness is against any kind of statement which quantifies humanity (and implicitly, human worth) in the ability to feel or act or experience certain things. Humans are human by virtue of being human, and nothing else. And, it is socially constructed! "Love" has no natural definition! Some people are not comfortable using "love" to describe positive feelings and relationships, and some people do not feel those positive feelings in general. And those people deserve the right to define their own experiences and their own relationship to the social construct of love.

In essence, lovelessness is both a personal as well as (in my opinion) a political identity, born from aro and mad experiences that challenges not just amatonormativity but all ideas that associate personhood and worth with the ability to feel certain things.

& as a note, there is also the term "lovequeer" which describes using the term "love" in ways which contradict mainstream understandings of what it means to love, and which kinds of love are considered worthwhile.

#m.#ask box #loveless aro

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queenofcoquette · 7 months

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confidence

introduction:

hey loves! one thing i’ve observed in self improvement spaces online is an obsession with confidence, and how to be confident. i’ve seen those red-pill guys give toxic confidence tips for guys, and self improvement girls give toxic confidence advice for girls. confidence is something we all desire because it's something we generally need more of, or help with.

what really is confidence?

confidence is shown internally and externally. internally it’s a mindset we need to work on. externally we present ourselves as someone who is secure in themselves. i think both are important- when you show it, you start to feel it a little bit.

internal- we walk into a room without comparing ourselves to others. we don’t think that we’re superior or inferior to anyone

internal- we still love ourselves after mistakes

internal- we recognize that we’re human and sometimes slip up

internal- we take care of ourselves and think positive thoughts

internal- we don’t view other people as competition

internal- we don’t care about what other people think of us

external- we treat people with kindness

external- we stay out of drama & gossip

external- we have straight posture

external- we make eye contact & smile when we talk

external- we’re friendly to other people

external- we try new things

external- we avoid making self-depricating comments

external- we don’t try to get validation from other people

internal changes:

writing down insecurities, fears, etc.- have a journal to write about how you feel, it really does help

avoid comparing other people. when you start doing it- just tell yourself to stop. it won’t work at first, but eventually you’ll stop doing so.

reminders. remind yourself that not everyone is judging you- people are caught up in their own lives and insecurities too. remind yourself we all fall and make mistakes, but you have the power to get back up.

meditation. i had to go back to this cuz i wasn’t feeling too good. i do 5 minute meditations- you can find guided ones on youtube. they’re very quick so it won’t take too much time out of your day.

external changes: (aka fake it til u make it)

walk with a straight back and lift your chin up

practice making eye contact talking

taking care of yourself. at my time at military school we were taught that self respect also means taking care of your appearance, and just looking good. you don’t need to put effort into your looks in terms of doing your hair and nails and makeup- but just look someone put together, and if you want then go above and beyond. when you look good, you feel good!

working out. exercise is proven to make you feel better, and when you put effort into yourself (which includes more than exercise, things like stretching, good hygeine) you’re going to feel better.

give people genuine compliments

stop self depricating talk. stop calling yourself dumb or ugly, or all those things. first of, it makes other people feel like they can do it to you, and it will make you feel worse about yourself!

surround yourself with people who make you feel good.

conclusion:

it takes time to feel confident, and you definitely won’t feel it 24/7. i still get horribly insecure sometimes and i know i still have a lot of growth to make, but by implementing these changes it’s a first step- and by staying consistent you’ll get closer to seeing yourself in a healthier light. of course if your self hatred is to the point where it’s causing serious damage to yourself/your mental health you should get treatment.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette #it girl

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superhero--imagines · 7 months

Text

Being Sanji’s GF would include:

A/N: this is the ugliest banner I ever made I swear.

Tags: Female reader

* A man that is 6 ft +, can cook, and treats you with respect? I can’t believe we as a society weren’t simping for him before

* We already know that he loves pretty girls, so if you reciprocate his advances—he’s down hook, line, and sinker

* I feel like he’d fall hard and fast for someone a bit shy, with a soft form of kindness

* Sanji himself is so kind, even if it’s in these extremes depending on the gender of the recipient

* So seeing someone who kindness comes to so naturally, where it isn’t a flickering flame or a bright fire, but just a soft warmth that linger in all of their actions leaves him in awe

* “You’re amazing.”

* He’s still got a wandering eye though, so catch him randomly slapping himself or sitting with his face in his hands as he tries to restrain himself from ‘being unfaithful’

* “Hey Sanji?”

* “Hmmm.”

* “Have you ever thought about cheating on me?”

* The dishes he was washing clatters in the sink and he grabs your hand in both of his, kneeling in front of you

* “Never!” And he means it, he might look but he would never dream of being with someone other than you. “You’re the only person I want to be with.”

* I think as time goes on he gets a lot better at understanding why he feels the way he does, and eventually the flirtatious behavior cools down even though he’s still as kind as always because he realizes it comes from a place of craving validation instead of genuine love

* And honestly, now that he has you he doesn’t need it from anyone else anymore

* “(Y/N)-chan, can you get me the oregano?”

* You smile as you get it from the fridge, it’s not easy for him to ask you to do things

* He has the biggest goofiest grin on his face when you wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder

* Sanji would literally give you a romance as big as the world — or he’d try to at least

* “Sanji this is really lovely.” And you mean it, the candle lit dinner and all your favorite foods at the center of the deck

* “But um, I feel a little bad for Luffy.” It’s more than a little, there’s an entire waterfall of drool falling past his lips from his spot behind a pillar.

* His fingers curl under your chin, urging you to meet his gaze

* “There’s nothing to feel bad about, of course I would spoil the most important person in my life.”

* Your cheeks heat up from the words.

* “But Sanji—“ you look to the pillar seeing seven faces quickly duck, and a hand grab luffys still salivating head. “—they’re all staring!”

* If you could die from embarrassment you’d be six feet under

* “Let them stare, it’s because they’re dazzled by your beauty.”

* “Actually it’s because we’re hungry!” Luffy shouts, only to have his mouth covered by Nami.

* Sanji ends up making them a snack.

* His favorite hobby is pretending Chopper is your child when you guys go out

* “When are you guys going to stop pretending he’s your baby?” Zoro growls

* You look over at Chopper who’s happily sitting on Sanji’s shoulders, munching away on cotton candy

* “When he stops pretending to enjoy it,” You respond

* “That’s never going to happen!” Chopper shouts with a giggle

* He’s so greedy with you I swear

* You give him a kiss, he gives you back at least five

* You hold his hand, he keeps you glued to his side for the rest of the night

* “I know it’s ugly of me to get an inch and take a mile, but…around you I just can’t keep myself from trying.”

* He learns how to make all your favorite childhood foods, either from a relative or by studying old recipe books from your homeland

* And if you ever seem homesick or you’re feeling down he’ll suspense you with the dish

* “How did you learn to make this?” Your region is a far ways away from his usual French cuisine

* “I have my secrets.”

* Please cook for this man, just once, make a fancy dinner and have the whole crew pitch in as wait staff

* “You’re always taking care of us so this time we wanted to serve you!”

* He’ll eat half-burned pasta with tears of joy streaming down his face

* “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”

* He’ll fall even harder for you if you have his wanted poster near your bunk bed

* “There’s a little red stain near my lips though—“

* “Ah, sometimes when I can’t see you at night I give it a little kiss for luck haha.”

* He’s dead. Sanjis dead.

* Cause of death: love sickness

* He died happy though

* He’s just such a simp for you man

* Like, take the shirt off his back and lay it over a puddle so you don’t get your feet wet, hear you’re craving a certain type of food and make it the next meal, buys you feminine hygiene products from the store with pride (along with some snacks he knows you like, kiss your hands and worship the ground you walk on type of love.

* Honestly what a dream

A/N: kinda wanna make a nsfw version too.

#one piece #opla x reader #one piece x reader #sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji x y/n #sanji imagine #sanji vinsmoke #sanji vinsmoke x reader #black leg sanji #sanji fluff

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glearyyyne · 27 days

Text

i wish i hated you

Part 1

Synopsis: Five years later, since Satoru last saw you but here you were, standing in front of him doing well in life but the only problem was that you couldn't remember him.

Word Count: 3,408 words

Warning: Angst ( sorry no happy ending :(( )

Note: we can't be friends (wait for your love) was well-loved both on AO3 and Tumblr that I decided to make a part 2! title is based on ariana's song in eternal sunshine!

_____________________________________________________________

Pen clicking

Satoru sighed, placing down the documents he needed to sign before passing them to the HR department to finalize. His eyes unconsciously went to his curtain wall office. It’s been at least five years since he left that shared apartment.

People say that he looks so happy in his married life but he can't keep being happy when the look in your eyes screams desperation and misery that day it got stuck in his mind now and then.

He stopped thinking when his door opened revealing his right-hand man, Suguru Geto.

“The meeting with the Zenin company has been canceled” Geto announced, Satoru’s brow furrowed. “Is there any valid reason why they canceled the meeting?” Satoru spoke with a hint of a displeased tone.

“It’s not them who canceled the meeting, it was your father, Satoru. The Zenin are quite pleased with your father's explanation,” Geto said. That left Satoru even more confused about what was going on.

“It’s better to be important-” Geto cut him off by saying “It is important, your grandfather was rushed to the hospital this morning” Satoru’s eyes widened.

“Sorry, excuse me,” Satoru said a hundred times as soon as he arrived at the hospital and was rushing inside not caring if he bumped too many people.

He heads to the receptionist to ask where his grandfather's room is only to receive that it was on the 7th floor. Satoru cursed under his breath before thanking the receptionist and headed to an elevator.

After he pressed the 7th-floor button, he tried catching his breath before he took out his phone to see unread messages from his mom and dad, especially his wife.

His thumbs stop midway as he thinks a couple of times, Satoru just thinks he should check it later as he places his phone back in his pocket while waiting for the elevator to arrive.

The moment it opened, he wasted no time and headed out of the elevator. Satoru didn't have to ask what room his grandfather was in when he noticed a crowd of familiar people in front of the room.

“Mom! What happened?” Satoru asked after he greeted her with a hug.

“Toru, we still don't know, the doctor is still examining him” His mom explained while looking back at the door that has a window that lets them see what's going on.

Satoru tried to peek only to see the back of the doctor talking to his grandfather.

“You didn't have to rush here, Satoru,” His mom told him.

“It’s fine Mom, grandfather is important besides I had Suguru to take care of things at the company” Satoru reassured her.

At that moment, the door flung open and Satoru stood up straight and ready to face the doctor only for his eyes to widen.

Here you were, standing in front of his family like the doctor you’ve ever wanted. Satoru’s eyes directly went to your neck to see the stethoscope wrapped around your neck that he gifted to you on your birthday way back.

You still wear them…

“Are you all relatives to Mr. Gojo?” You asked with your serious face and eyed them one by one until Satoru who was looking at you with an unreadable face that you couldn't comprehend but then you were able to get some responses from the family in front of you.

Your voice softened as you delivered the news to the family, "I'm sorry to inform you, but Mr. Gojo has experienced a stroke.”

“Although Mr. Gojo has experienced a stroke, we're committed to helping him regain his ability to walk again through rehabilitation and support.” You reassured them before eyeing them all. “Are there any more questions?” You asked

“If none, you’ll be allowed to get inside” One by one all of them got inside leaving Satoru behind. He stared at you with his bewildered expression.

You turned around and walked away but Satoru wanted to stop you from walking away.

He was about to speak when he felt an arm linking to his arm, he turned his head swiftly to see his wife.

“I came here so late, good thing I saw you here,” She said with a smile.

Satoru felt like his voice was stuck but his wife continued talking. “Should we head inside?” she asked.

“Uh sure let's go inside,” Satoru said as he opened the door for his wife to get in while watching your back as you slowly disappeared from his sight.

He sighs before getting inside the room after his wife gets in.

Satoru stared at the ceiling the next day inside his office as he tried to see what was wrong with you yesterday when you couldn't recognize him.

As if you're looking at him that he doesn't matter anymore

“Satoru, here are your next schedules-” Before Geto could finish his announcement, Satoru cut him off.

“Just a second Suguru, can you try and get my grandfather’s record at the hospital?” He needed to make sure if it was really you at the hospital.

Geto stared at him with a suspicious look. “May I at least know the reason behind that?” Geto asked.

“Just trying to see the bills,” Satoru thought he did a great job there when Geto only stared at him dumbfounded.

“The bills were already covered by the company, sir,” Geto told him.

shit

“Uh, mother told me to” Satoru replied and hoped for Geto to stop asking questions. His right-hand man stared for a second before heading out and coming back with the record.

Satoru sighs in relief, opens the folder and directly goes to find the doctor's name. At last, he finally saw the name.

Neurologist assigned: Dr. [Reader’s full name], M.D

His eyes sparkled as if he finally saw the treasure in a pirate hunt. It was as if it was yesterday when you told him what kind of job you wanted.

“Mhm? What kind of doctor do I want to take?” you asked Satoru after you placed your book on the table as you finally decided to give him some attention he’s been craving ever since he voluntarily wanted to come with you to the library to study until he regretted it later when you didn't give him the attention he wanted.

“Yeah,” Satoru softly said with that curious look evident on his face.

“Neurologist” You simply answered before going back to reading.

“What do they even do?” He asked curiously.

“They're like the detectives of the brain and nervous system. They specialize in understanding and treating conditions that affect these parts of the body, like strokes, epilepsy, Parkinson's disease, and even headaches. They're the go-to experts when it comes to anything related to the brain and nerves.” You explained rapidly that it made Satoru confused.

“I didn't understand from how fast you explained to me,” Satoru said, leaving you giggling.

“Sorry, I ramble sometimes when I just get too excited or get too focused on what I'm interested in” You apologize only for Satoru to raise his brow. “So you're excited to become a neurologist?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just want to help people so they won't end up like my mom” You softly replied while looking at the page you were reading.

Satoru adores you for how much you love your mom, knowing your mom died from a stroke because she wasn't given proper care.

“I know you’ll make it there” Satoru softly spoke to you as you only smiled before staring at his eyes.

“I know”

“There you go, sir just take a break for now and we’ll resume again by tomorrow,” You told the old man.

“Thank you, young lady,” he told you as you only smiled.

Before you can go, he grabs your arm making you look at him. “I haven't mentioned this but you looked familiar dear,” He said leaving you confused.

“You might have mistaken me for someone sir, I get that all the time” You deny him.

He was about to speak when the door opened revealing a white haired guy in his business attire.

You remember him from last time when you announced to the family about the condition of Mr. Gojo.

You saw how he froze when seeing you in front of his grandfather. “Satoru! Doesn't she look familiar to you? I know I saw her somewhere” His grandfather asked him.

Satoru mentally cursed as he awkwardly laughed, “I think you mistaken her for someone Grandpa” Satoru told him.

“Huh? I may be old but I don't forget things or people!” His grandfather was frustrated.

Satoru looked at you apologetically, “I’m sorry but would you mind talking outside?” He asked.

You looked back at the old man, “Get some rest sir I’ll be outside talking to him” You told him as you walked to the door and were about to open it when Satoru opened it for you.

You freeze on the spot before you thank him and head outside as he follows you afterward.

“Is there anything you would like to talk about?” You asked after he closed the door.

It was just the two of you in the hallway. Satoru stayed silent before speaking. “How is the condition of my grandfather?” he asked.

“He’s showing progress faster than those I had handled,” You answered.

“I see…” He replied, “Can I ask where you get your stethoscope?” He cursed under his breath for asking that.

You find it amusing that someone asked about your stethoscope that you’ve always been curious about where you bought it.

“I don't remember, I guess someone gave it to me?” You said while your hand held onto your stethoscope.

But that someone was me

That was what Satoru wanted to tell you but it seems you don't really remember him.

Did you get into an accident that made you lose some part of your memories?

“I see, I just felt like those were customized stethoscopes,” He said.

“I thought so too, 'cause I tried searching for this type of stethoscope but I only see those regular types of stethoscopes that every doctor has- oh wait I ramble again,” You said as you covered your mouth when you realized.

Satoru only giggled, “It’s fine if you ramble too much, it can happen” He reassured you.

“Sorry I ramble sometimes when I just get too excited or-”

“Get too focused on what you're interested in '' Satoru cut you off as you stared at him surprised and confused.

Satoru once again cursed under his breath. “It feels like you know me somehow more than I did to myself,” You said with a laugh.

And that's how Satoru finds himself clinging to his past.

A couple of weeks have passed since Satoru regularly visited his grandfather just to get to talk to you.

Satoru finds himself looking forward to seeing you after his work. It becomes concerning when he has a wife and a child waiting for him at home.

After he finished signing one of the documents, he sighed looked at the clock, and saw he still had a lot of time before he headed to the hospital.

He still wonders how you lost your memories. Satoru tried not to dig into your records at the hospital when he came by your office a couple of times just to hang out.

“Suguru” he called his right-hand man who was standing behind him.

“Yes?” Geto replied. “Do you think people lose their memories from accidents?” Satoru asked.

“mostly” was his reply, Satoru was about to speak when Geto continued his words.

“But people these days head to the Brighter Days Inc. to remove someone permanently from their memories” That's where Satoru's heart drops.

“Is it something new? ‘cause it's the first time I heard that” Satoru asked.

“It's been running around five years ago”

Shit, five years ago was also when I left that apartment

“Get the car ready, Suguru” Satoru ordered as he stood up, grabbing whatever he needed.

“May I know for what reason?” Geto asked.

“I need to see the Brighter Days Inc,” Satoru replied with determination on his face.

Satoru stepped out of the car and observed the place, he would have thought this was a daycare judging by the name of the building. Who would have thought this place runs to help people remove something from their memory?

He stepped inside and was astonished by the people waiting inside the building. He guessed this place had some kind of a good reputation.

Satoru walked into the register and a lady who was on duty greeted him as he greeted her back.

“Uhm, is it possible for me to ask if you had a previous client here five years ago?” He asked.

“Sure but may I know the name you were looking for?” The lady asked.

“[Reader's name]” Satoru answered, “May I also know your name and relationship to the client? Sorry we need to know before giving it to you,” the lady said.

“Uh, Satoru Gojo I’m- I’m her boyfriend” Satoru lied as he gulped trying to calm down but the lady didn't mind as she headed back to a storage room to grab something.

He stood there, waiting for the lady to arrive.

“Here you go” the lady appeared and dropped a file before Satoru. He then grabbed the file and read the cover.

Brighter Days Inc.

Client: [Reader’s name]

Date: December 08, 20XX

The day was after his birthday…

He slowly opened the file as it revealed the documents and his eyes trailed to where you signed the paper.

You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give "Brighter Days Inc." the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory.

✓ Yes ___ No

Signed by: [Reader’s name and signature]

He turned the page over and saw a bunch of pictures taken of what happened that day.

Satoru's eyes softened after seeing yourself, you looked so tired and desperate. Those tears staining your cheeks, he remembers how he usually wiped them on his own before he left kisses on your cheeks.

He then saw a picture containing the box you brought, it had all of the stuff you and Satoru cherished.

Even the scarf he left behind was burned, the only left that didn't burn was the stethoscope.

This felt like a slap to him, so he asked the lady to bring the file home.

“I’m sorry sir but you can’t take home an original copy of the document, but I recommend you to get a duplicate of this although you have to pay for it,” The lady told him. Satoru had no choice but to pay to get the duplicate version of the document.

He left Brighter Days Inc, with the duplicate copy in his hands.

The moment he came home, he was greeted by his four-year-old son. Satoru smiled as he carried him, leaving the file on the couch. Satoru was so busy playing with his son that he forgot the file making his wife see it.

After showering, Satoru left the bathroom only to see his wife sitting at the edge of the bed. “You’re still not sleeping?” Satoru spoke.

“Satoru, will you be honest with me?” That made him alert, his hands slowly stopped drying his hair. “About what?” he asked.

“Are you cheating on me?” Satoru was even more confused. “I’m not, why?”

His wife then showed him the file he got from the Brighter Days Inc,

Shit

“I recognize her, the doctor of your grandfather-” she stopped talking as she began to cry. Satoru immediately went and hugged her. “It’s not what you’re thinking baby it was just a misunderstanding” he tried reassuring her.

“Misunderstanding? Can you not see the file? It had your name written to be forgotten by the doctor.” She added. Satoru had no choice but to be honest, “She and I were together back… but that was back then I was trying to see why she couldn’t remember me”

His wife stared at him with tears streaming down her cheeks and asked a question that made him freeze, “What if she remembers you? You’ll go back to her?” Satoru tried to wipe her tears but the memory of you crying suddenly made his hand stop midway.

His wife saw it, she sighed shoving his hand away as she stood up and headed out leaving him alone.

That night, he heads to the nursery room only to see his son gone, his wife must have left and stayed somewhere with their son.

After he left the company the next day, Satoru headed to the hospital with the file. He knows he should have felt guilty for his wife but he feels more guilty about what he had done to you that you had to permanently remove him from your memories.

Your assistant greeted him as usual as if seeing him here became a daily routine. “Where is she?” Satoru asked, “She’s eating lunch and-” she looked at her wrist watch “She should be finished now, if you want you can wait inside her office” the assistant suggested.

Satoru thanked her before heading inside your office and sat down in front of your table. Satoru tried to think of a way to safely tell you about your memories with him in the past.

He was ready to give up his family for the sake of coming back to you.

But then not everything goes according to his plan. The door opened as Satoru turned around with a soft smile and was ready to speak when he noticed a man beside you.

He was flabbergasted.

“Oh, Satoru, I didn't know you’d come here,” you said casually while your arm wrapped around the arm of the man beside you.

Satoru couldn't find the strength to speak. “This is Nanami Kento, my fiancé,” You said as you encouraged Nanami to greet Satoru.

“You must be the old man’s grandfather and the current holder of the Gojo company? It's nice to meet you” Nanami said, extending his hand for a handshake.

Satoru stared at it for a second before accepting it. “Y-yeah, I am. It's also nice to see you,” he said.

He tried to think the time you two talked away a couple of weeks ago, he swore he didn't see your engagement ring on your ring finger.

“Since when did you two meet?” Satoru asked even though it would hurt him. “We met at a library called Bookshelf Haven when I was studying there I met Kento,” You said with a smile to Nanami who only smiled softly at you.

Satoru felt like the world had stopped, that bookstore was where you two always go, and where Satoru asked about your future job.

You continued talking with Nanami joining the conversation but Satoru was zoning out and was getting numb to what was happening.

You looked way happier now…

“So what made you come here?” You asked him. Satoru suddenly remembered the file he had from Brighter Days Inc., he held it thinking if he should tell you or not.

“It's nothing, I just came here to greet you” Satoru slowly said, feeling defeated.

This must have been what you experienced five years ago.

He couldn't contain seeing you smiling softly to Nanami just like what you used to do to him back then. “I should head now,” Satoru told you.

“This early?” You asked, “Yeah- I have a family waiting for me at home,” He said with a fake smile even though he doesn't have a family really waiting for him to go home.

“Then stay safe on your way!” You told him as he waved before heading out of your office.

He sighed after he closed the door. Staring at the ceiling with his back against the door.

But no matter how I try to

And no matter how I want to

He began to walk away, it was really what it should have been from the start. Don't cling to your past, just move on with your life.

And no matter how easy things could be if I did

As soon as he arrived at the parking lot, he crumpled the file and threw it into the nearby bin before he got inside his car and drove away from the hospital.

And no matter how guilty, I still feel saying it

I wish I hated you.

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Tags: @mor-pheus, @ilovebattinson, @coffeeluvr96, @imaginativeghorl, @biancatomlinson, @peiceofcreamcheese, @ghostfacefricker6969, @lilithwhore, @witchayaporn, @alkanessa, @ittofu, @altyx, @roscpctals99, @whereflowerswenttodie, @rh-tg1, @creolequeen11210, @aikori6

#gojo x reader #jjk gojo #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo angst #jjk angst #gojo satoru #jjk #nanami x reader #jujutsu nanami #geto suguru #nanami kento

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theambitiouswoman · 9 months

Text

Do you really love yourself?

Many times in the past, I believed I was operating out of self-love. However, it was only when I began focusing on personal growth and engaging in shadow work and inner healing that I came to understand that my previous perception was not accurate.

Sometimes, we believe we're being kind to ourselves because we do things that feel good or seem helpful at first. We might do these things because we want to feel better or think they're good for us.

To become aware that something might not be truly self loving, we need to pay attention to how things make us feel in the long run. If something we're doing ends up making us feel unhappy, stressed, or even harms us over time, that's a sign that it might not be coming from genuine self love. So, it's important to regularly check in with our feelings and reflect on whether our actions are bringing us real and lasting happiness and well-being.

These are some examples you may relate to, where we might think we're operating out of self-love, but it may not truly be the case:

Self-Care:

Binge watching TV shows for hours, thinking it's self-care, but it leads to neglecting other responsibilities.

Regularly indulging in unhealthy foods as a form of self-care, but it negatively impacts physical well-being.

Spending excessive amounts on shopping to feel better momentarily, mistaking it for self-care, when it strains finances.

Oversleeping every day, believing it's self-care, but it disrupts daily routines and productivity.

Isolating yourself from others under the guise of self-care, but it can worsen feelings of loneliness.

Skipping regular exercise, thinking you're prioritizing relaxation, but it affects overall health in the long run.

Using substances like alcohol to cope with stress, thinking it's self-care, when it may lead to dependency.

Personality:

Constantly seeking validation from others to feel worthy, assuming it's part of your personality, but it indicates low self-esteem.

Always being the peacemaker in conflicts, believing it's your personality, but it might be suppressing your true feelings.

Refusing to ask for help in any situation, thinking it's part of your personality, but it can hinder growth.

Being overly competitive and comparing yourself to others, thinking it's just your personality, but it can lead to dissatisfaction.

Being excessively introverted to the point of avoiding social interactions, thinking it's part of your personality, but it may contribute to isolation.

Always putting others' needs before your own, assuming it's your personality, but it could be detrimental to your well-being.

Constantly seeking new experiences and never committing to anything, believing it's your personality, but it might hinder progress.

Career:

Overworking and not taking breaks, assuming it's necessary for career success, but it leads to burnout.

Staying in a job you hate because it's what you're used to, thinking it's for the sake of career stability, but it prevents growth.

Avoiding asking for promotions or raises, assuming it's humility, but it might hold you back professionally.

Pursuing a career path solely for financial gain, thinking it's practical, but it can result in dissatisfaction.

Accepting workplace mistreatment in the name of job commitment, thinking it's dedication, but it's detrimental to mental health.

Focusing solely on climbing the corporate ladder, believing it's the key to success, but it may lead to neglecting other important aspects of life.

Not pursuing opportunities for skill development, thinking it's contentment, but it can hinder career advancement.

Romantic Relationships:

Ignoring your own needs to constantly please your partner, believing it's love, but it leads to codependency.

Staying in a toxic relationship because you're afraid of being alone, thinking it's love, but it harms your well-being.

Sacrificing your own dreams and goals for your partner's aspirations, mistaking it for love, when it hinders personal growth.

Avoiding conflicts at all costs, assuming it's love for peace, but it prevents healthy communication.

Idealizing your partner and overlooking their flaws, thinking it's love, but it prevents realistic understanding.

Rushing into a new relationship immediately after a breakup, thinking it's moving on, but it might be avoiding emotions.

Disregarding your own values to align with your partner's, believing it's love, when it compromises your authenticity.

Friendships:

Going along with friends' decisions even when you disagree, assuming it's loyalty, but it might lead to resentment.

Pretending to enjoy activities you dislike to fit in, thinking it's maintaining friendships, but it's not authentic.

Ignoring your own needs to help friends excessively, believing it's friendship, when it impacts your own well-being.

Staying friends with people who consistently bring you down, thinking it's loyalty, but it negatively affects your self-esteem.

Avoiding confrontation with friends, assuming it's maintaining harmony, but it might lead to unresolved issues.

Letting others take advantage of your kindness, thinking it's friendship, when it's actually being taken for granted.

Faking interest in others' conversations to avoid feeling left out, thinking it's friendship, but it prevents genuine connections.

Personal Growth:

Staying in your comfort zone and avoiding challenges, thinking it's self-preservation, when it hinders progress.

Setting unrealistic goals for personal development, believing it's ambition, but it can lead to disappointment.

Constantly seeking external validation for your progress, assuming it's self-improvement, when it should come from within.

Overloading your schedule with self-help activities, thinking it's maximizing growth, but it might cause overwhelm.

Avoiding reflection on your mistakes and shortcomings, thinking it's self-compassion, when it prevents learning.

Perpetually focusing on your flaws without celebrating achievements, thinking it's humility, but it can lead to low self-esteem.

Ignoring your emotional needs in favor of pushing through challenges, assuming it's resilience, when it might hinder emotional well-being.

Physical Health:

Skipping Meals to Lose Weight: You might think that skipping meals will help you lose weight quickly, but it can lead to nutritional deficiencies and harm your body's energy levels.

Overexercising: Working out excessively with no rest can seem like a way to get fit, but it can lead to injuries, exhaustion, and even weakened immunity.

Crash Diets: Trying extreme diets that drastically cut out food groups might seem like a fast way to lose weight, but they often lack important nutrients and can be harmful to your body.

Ignoring Sleep: Prioritizing work or entertainment over sleep might seem productive, but sleep is crucial for your body to recover and function well.

Relying on Supplements Alone: Thinking that supplements can replace a balanced diet might seem convenient, but they're meant to complement, not replace, healthy eating.

Ignoring Pain: Believing that toughing it out through pain or discomfort is a sign of strength, but it's important to listen to your body and seek medical attention when needed.

Not Staying Hydrated: Forgetting to drink enough water might not seem like a big deal, but proper hydration is vital for many bodily functions and overall well-being.

#self love journey #self development #self esteem #self worth #self help #self improvement #self love #personal improvement #personal growth #personal development

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hericaslibrary · 4 months

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𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐏𝐃𝐀 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 ? | ASL edition

Featuring : Ace, Luffy and Sabo

Gender neutral

✦ Out of the three brothers, Ace, is the most open to public displays of affection. He wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn't shy away from expressing his love openly, whether it's through a warm hug, a kiss, or a playful gesture that showcases his affection.

✦ PDA for Ace is a natural extension of his vibrant and outgoing nature. He enjoys sharing his emotions with the world, taking pride in the love he feels for his you. His displays of affection are genuine and reflect the intensity of his feelings.

✦ Ace's love language often includes spontaneous acts of romance, such as surprise embraces or impromptu kisses. He believes that expressing affection in public is a way of celebrating the joy and love he experiences in his relationship, and he sees no reason to hide it.

✦ While Ace is comfortable with public displays of affection, he also values the quieter, more intimate moments with you. These moments allow him to deepen your connection away from the hustle and bustle of the pirate live.

✦ Ace's love is infectious and impossible to ignore. His willingness to share his affection openly is a reflection of his authenticity and the importance he places on being true to himself and his emotions.

✦ (Personally) I don’t think Luffy is one for elaborate displays of affection in public. PDA is not really his thing; he's more focused on enjoying the present moment and doesn't feel the need to put his romantic feelings on display for others.

✦ While Luffy may not engage in traditional public displays of affection, he expresses his love through actions rather than words. Whether it's sharing a piece of meat, inviting his s/o on a new adventure, or offering a cheerful smile, Luffy's love manifests in simple yet genuine ways.

✦ Affection for Luffy is a natural and an unpretentious aspect of his relationships. He just doesn't feel the need to complicate it with grand gestures, and his openness to sharing these moments is a testament to the sincerity of his emotions.

✦ Luffy's private moments with you are where he truly shines. Whether it's a quiet conversation on the Going Merry/Sunny or a shared laugh over a meal, he values the more personal aspects of his relationship away from the prying eyes of the world.

✦ Luffy's love is anchored in friendship, trust, and shared adventures. While he might not be one to make a big show of his affection in public, the depth of his feelings becomes evident in the bonds he forms with those closest to him.

✦ Sabo leans heavily towards being a private person when it comes to matters of romance. He values the intimacy of a relationship and prefers to keep displays of affection between himself and you away from prying eyes.

✦ PDA is just not Sabo's style; he'd rather express his feelings through meaningful actions and gestures in private. Whether it's a quiet moment shared on the deck of one of the RA ships or a stolen glance during a dangerous mission, Sabo finds more significance in the subtleties that only he and his partner can fully appreciate (and understand).

✦ But Sabo does occasionally allow for subtle expressions of affection in public, such as a gentle touch or a discreet peck on the cheek. These small gestures are more about reinforcing the connection between him and you rather than seeking external validation.

✦ Sabo's private nature extends beyond physical displays of affection; he keeps the intricacies of his relationship shielded from the prying eyes of the world (after all he is seen has one of the most dangerous criminals of the world). He values the sanctity of his personal life and is careful not to expose vulnerabilities that could be exploited by enemies.

✦ In the quiet moments away from the chaos of the Grand Line, Sabo becomes a more open and tender partner. He may not shout his love from the rooftops, but he expresses it in the small, heartfelt actions that define his feelings for his s/o.

Feel free to like or reblog :)

#—headcanons #one piece x reader #portgas d ace x reader #ace x reader #luffy x reader #sabo x reader #one piece #monkey d. luffy #portgas d ace #sabo the revolutionary #one piece headcanons

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adviceformefromme · 6 months

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Who are you choosing to be today? Not who are you..Not what is hurting you..Not what shit are you carrying with you this week..The most important question to ask yourself is who are you choosing to be? Whatever shit you are carrying over from last week, take a deep breath, and just know that shift start with making a simple choice of focusing on who you want to be. If that anxious knot in your stomach is getting worse with each moment, remember who are you choosing to be? Someone who is patient and loving with yourself? Someone who focuses on your healing and makes time to figure out your needs? Someone who is kind and caring with yourself first and foremost? Without thinking it’s easy to slip into victim, judgment, anger, and while all these emotions at times may be valid there is only so much living in the lower vibrations we can do before it really starts taking a toll. So allow yourself some grace, and start with the simple question of who am I choosing to be?

#manifesting #lawofattraction #growthmindset #levelup confidence lawofattraction powerofthemind #manifestyourreality #levelup #levelupjourney #dailyhealthtips #healinganxiety #self healing #self care

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dollyyss · 4 months

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can you please do headcanons of what it would be like dating the main five boys?

Yes yes yes a million times yes

I’m sleepy, I promise I’ll edit this if needed tomorrow.

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙄𝙏𝙎 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙈𝘼𝙄𝙉 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍 + 𝘽𝙐𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎

𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 ₊ ⊹

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥! 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐‧₊˚✩彡

𝙆𝙮𝙡𝙚, 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣, 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙮, 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨𐙚

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight talk of nsfw in Kenny’s part!

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐

- he’s dominate. But.. not in just that sense. I mean he takes care of you. Willingly. He’s constantly walking you to class, brining extra things for you because he knows you forget, so he has those extra pencils for you, notebooks. When the two of you walk side by side and he notices your shoe lace is untied he stops you immediately to bend down to tie it right back up. When you’re tired.. your in his arms immediately being led back to his car to take you back home. He’ll feed you sometimes. He just loves you, he wants to take care of you in every aspect.

- he’s gentle, he ensures that his communication with you is always considerate and kind. He listens attentively, acknowledges your viewpoint, and refrains from speaking harshly or being dismissive. Kyle shows genuine empathy towards your feelings, needs, and experiences. He puts himself in your shoes, tries to grasp your perspectives, and offers comfort and support to you whenever you need it. He is patient and willing to listen without judgment.

- Kyle understands the importance of physical touch for intimacy and affection. He engages in gentle caresses, hugs, and kisses, always being mindful of your comfort and boundaries. He enjoys being able to cradle you safely in your arms, express to you how much he loves you, how he’d always be there.

- and with physical touch, comes emotional support. Kyle is supportive and nurturing towards your emotional well-being. He is sensitive to your emotional state and offers comfort, reassurance, and a safe space for vulnerability. He provides comfort, validation, and understanding when you need it the most.

- Kyle creates a safe and secure environment for you quite often. both physically and emotionally. He ensures that you feel protected, comfortable, and free from any harm or judgment. His gentle and caring presence gives you a sense of peace.. a sense of home..

Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ

- I believe Stan.. is so supportive of you. He doesn’t believe he can truly make it far considering what he’s done with himself due to alcohol.. self loathing.. not being able to build what he wanted for himself so when he sees you achieve the things you’ve always wanted he’s cheering you on. He’s always the one to come up to you after a speech, squeezing you tight against him and whispering about how proud he is of you. He’s the one to bring you flowers, exchanging kisses to show you how amazing you were. In his eyes. You’re his role model.

- he’s committed to you. He’s had his heart broken far too many times by one person.. so when he finally finds you.. and you treat him the way he’s always wanted to be treated, show him the love he deserves.. there is nothing stopping that heart from grasping for you. Longing for you.

- though Stan loves to be around you consistently, wants to do anything and everything for you, he also understands Independency, individuality. He understands that maybe you don’t always wants to do something, or be around and that’s okay. He gets it.. he may be a little sad but he understands that sometimes having a me day is completely okay. Expect him to text you back immediately when you message him. He’s missed you :((

- he’s not THE greatest with his emotions, he’s still trying to figure his out most of the time but he will always stop to listen to you. No matter what it is.

Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉

- Kenny is quite sexual, so your Reltionship is bound to be quite sexually. But he knows boundaries. And he knows when no means no. Sure he’s got quite the sex drive but he would never push you to do anything you never wanted to. This goes for anything really, he hates the idea of forcing you to do absolutely anything, he likes to know you may actually want to do something because you want to do it. Not because you’re just agreeing with him.

- he will give you space when you need it. He can be quite clingy at times but that’s because he’s just genuinely happy to be around you, so at times he can understand needing some space.

- he’s so understanding. Anything you come to him about, he’s all ears, listening and asking wether you need him to do something about, to stay the night with you. Anything. He’ll do it. He’s good at telling when something is wrong, even if you try to hide it and you hide it well. He’ll know. And he’s probably one of the best to go to…. He’ll even fuck you silly to get your mind off of things. But- in all seriousness. He genuinely does give you really good advice, advice you can take and actually go by, he cares.

- he’s so goofy. He’s always willing to do anything to put that sweet smile on your face. Whether it be to embarrass himself in front of a shit ton of people, or alone and he makes the stupidest inappropriate jokes. When he hears you laugh he’s laughing himself, smiling at you lovingly.

- he’s so protective it’s not funny. I’m talking, he beat the fuck out of someone once for even just slightly hurting you.

Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°

- I hate him. And he’s an awful fucking person but.. with the right person.. I feel like he could be changed. Maybe not entirely but he would change.

- he starts a lot of arguments. Even though he says it wasn’t even him… it was. It’s over stupid shit to, like I’m talking over food, where he gets to sit somewhere, where you guys go. He’s so fucking petty it’s ridiculous.

- butttt.. with this he does make up for it. He doesss feel just a littleeee bad for making you so upset so majority of the time he’ll bribe you with food.. or rarely a warm hug.

- he’s quite a good person to cuddle. He’s warm, he’s got some squish so there’s enough to snuggle into and fall asleep. When you’re asleep.. he’s cooing at you, not understanding how someone like you could put up with him.

- he can be.. childish but he loves when you laugh with him, when he realizes something he’s said as made you laugh? You better believe he’s doing it continuously, like Kenny he actually really likes see you laugh especially if it’s because of him. It boosts his ego oops.

Butters ˚☆🐈*๑

- he’s like Kyle. He likes taking care of you. He likes taking you on dates, spoiling you with his allowance money.. even if it does get him grounded he doesn’t care. Your his, he has to spoil you.

- he’s such a kissy boy. He’s kissing you almost Antrim he lays his eyes on you, while your studying, grabbing a drink, coming straight out of the bathroom. He’s there. Baby just wants a kiss.

- he’s such a fucking sweetheart. He’s never really truly gotten angry at you, yelled at you, nothing. He’s so caring when it comes to you. He knows to take his time with you, to understand what’s too far and what’s just right. He gets what’s too much for you and what calms you down. He knows you like the back of his hand.

- he’s also extremely overprotective. It’s rare to see butters lose his temper but when it comes to you, he’ll yell like he’s never yelled before. I’m sure he’d also beat someone up if he could, and he knew he could. He hates seeing you hurt, at times he cries himself, but other times he’s so angered by others actions towards you he’s more worried about showing them how pissed he is.

- you always have his attention. You always have him. If someone online talks to him and is making you even slightly uncomfortable.. he’s blocking them at just their name leaving your lips. He’s ignoring anybody who seems even slightly interested. He’s got his eyes on you. And you only.

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