not everyone is either butch or femme actually. That's a false dykeotomy.
EDIT:
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stupid wendy and bebe doodle
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ofmd season 1: "hurt people hurt people" mostly from the perspective of Stede, who copes with his trauma through avoidance, hurting himself by hurting those around him
ofmd season 2: "hurt people hurt people" mostly from the perspective of Ed, who copes with his trauma through violence, hurting himself by hurting those around him
both seasons have subplots about healing and growth, about finding love, about what to do with those parts of yourself that are drowning you, and what NOT to do with them, and those storylines and themes help support the main ones, seen through the eyes of our protagonists.
in particular, the parallel deaths in the last episodes of each season (Badminton dying in front of Stede, Izzy dying in front of Ed) have distinct thematic beats as well, in different moments of the main characters' storylines, but are still connected in a similar way: both Badminton and Izzy represent the external voices and pressures that have etched themselves in Ed and Stede and have forced them to hide their true selves in order to survive. in Stede's case, the pressure and bullying was always kind of detached, an overwhelming indifference and casual hatred, while for Ed, the pressure and bullying was always up close and personal, given to him by the very people who claimed to appreciate him. that's why Badminton is a villain we don't care much about, and Izzy is a character that was much more fleshed out by the end, because sometimes the call comes from inside the house, and I thought it was nice the team tried to incorporate some of those nuances into the storyline to help develop the main themes.
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And still both date emotionally unavailable guys istg....
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