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#i loved the quote about bravery and fear
novantinuum · 2 months
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Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning
I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.
Let's take a look:
Gem Glow
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"Awesome! What are these things?"
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Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.
Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:
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The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.
The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-
Laser Light Canon
"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."
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Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.
At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.
And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...
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"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"
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And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.
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"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"
Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.
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I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.
Cheeseburger Backpack
So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)
Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."
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"Yeah... they can't all be winners."
This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-
Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.
Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.
Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.
Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:
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This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.
Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.
Together Breakfast
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"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."
Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.
Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.
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I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.
The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.
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If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?
These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'
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"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"
And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.
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"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"
Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.
__
So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.
One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.
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Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.
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Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.
Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.
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In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'
Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.
When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.
In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.
But they don't care.
Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.
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With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.
And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...
No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.
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spyskater · 11 months
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The quotes I believe are every characters' thesis statement in Willow (2022) and why. Elora: I believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Kit: You're afraid. So am I. But you know what? My fear, it doesn't get to decide. It doesn't get to, to define me. I'm not giving it the power. I'm giving it to you. I have never believed in anything my whole life. I believe in you. Jade: Yeah, and when you love someone and they need you, yes, you jump off the edge of the world to go and get to them. Graydon: One day you and I are gonna be in charge. And when that day comes, we don't have to do things the way our parents did. Boorman: I finally figured it out. This isn't my story. It's yours. You're the one. And all you gotta do is believe in yourself, and you'll be unstoppable. Willow: You know, it's taken me a long time to learn, it's okay to fall, to make mistakes. I've made lots... The trick is to embrace your defeats as well as your victories. You pay for both in the end. Be decent. Be fearless. And know this, wherever the adventure leads, I'm with you. Airk: You know, defend the realm and just be the best brother, and husband, and father, and son that I can possibly be. Because that is what you do when you have honor, right? Scorpia: All we have ever wanted is our freedom. That our children would not have to live in fear. They'd serve no master... We have no barrier to hide behind, no army to defend us. All we have is the fear our masks evoke, the determination to survive, and each other... Freedom, rebellion, passion, joy. To the break of dawn! Sorsha: Everything I've done, I've done to protect the people I love. It costs a lot. Madmartigan: It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But love is sacrifice. You've gotta be willing to give up what you want for what you believe in.
Elora's is extremely obvious. As the heroine and chosen one of our show, her quote not only represents who she is and what she believes, but the most important message that the show wants to leave us with. At the end of the day, love above all things. Let that be your guiding force. It's what all of our characters come away with. Jade lets go of her ideals of duty to follow her heart to Kit. Kit learns to love and gains courage through it. Airk is saved by Kit through the power of love. Graydon becomes who he's always dreamed of, partially due to his love of Elora. Elora is able to fully grasp her power through her love of Graydon. And Elora tells us throughout the season that love is the most powerful thing in the universe, at first taken as a joke by Airk, Kit, and the audience and evolving into the hopeful statement we're meant to latch onto.
This is Kit's big moment. She spends the entire season having everything she thought she knew stripped from her. When you have nothing left, it'll make you reevaluate what you truly want and what you believe. We know that all Kit has wanted is to be brave and loved and I would argue that quote is part one of the thesis of Kit. It's Jade's love that gives Kit the bravery to take the leap of faith. As she stares at the edge of the world, she's probably at her most fearful. But she's spent her whole life giving into fear, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment. She knows what it means to give fear power, so she chooses to give the power to Elora, to love, to hope, to finally believing in something greater than herself. And by choosing not to give into fear, she also inspires Elora to do the same. Fear no longer gets to control Kit and we shouldn't let it control us either.
Like Kit, Jade is completely stripped of everything she knows about herself. Her honor, her duty, her history, her beliefs, her identity, it all comes into question. But she had to lose all of the things that she thought made her Jade Claymore in order for her to truly follow her heart. You don't jump off the edge of the world out of duty. You do it out of love. Jade does it for Kit. Graydon does it for Elora. Elora and Kit do it for Airk. And while I don't think Jade fully knows what any of what she's learned means for her and her future, the one thing she does know for a fact at the end of the season, which was the only thing that she was uncertain of at the beginning, is that she is totally, ridiculously, desperately in love with Kit and that love is returned. It's like Elora said, love is the most power thing in the universe and Jade now knows that.
Graydon's quote, I find, is one of the most important quotes of the show. This is the story of the next generation learning from the previous one’s mistakes and trying to do better. All of our younger characters are forced to confront the mistakes of their elders, especially Willow, Sorsha, and Madmartigan’s. Kit as Elora’s protector and learning that love comes before dutiful sacrifice (her parents). Jade learning love before duty and honor (Ballantine). Boorman facing the mistakes he made with the older generation and making the better choice with the younger one. Going on this adventure with the others, Graydon is able to find his true self and make his own choices. Just because his father wants him to be one thing, doesn't mean that Gray has to be that. He gets to be his own man. You get to be who you want to be, not what your parents want.
Boorman desperately wants to be the hero of the story and that’s probably the source of a lot of his bravado. He feels shame for leaving Madmartigan for dead, for lying about his escape from Skellin, because it’s not a heroic tale. He was a teenager/young man when he went after the Cuirass with Mads. He was Jade once upon a time, a squire in service to Tir Asleen royalty. The problem is that Boorman thinks the cuirass is the only way he can be a hero and being a hero is the only way to make up for his mistakes. But the cuirass is not meant for him; it’s not his story. The way for him to come full circle and become whole is to make up for his sins against Mads by giving the cuirass to his daughter. He’s not the hero of this story, but I do believe he’s the hero of another.
Willow gives us another important message of the show that we've seen throughout the season. Our mentor's journey over the course of the season is to let go. Willow can't seem to accept the consequences of the past. The loss of his wife. The departure of his son. The loss of Elora. The fact that he never became the sorcerer he thought he was meant to be. All of this causes him to be incapable of training Elora with any sort of true openness or understanding. Where Elora needs freedom and a safe place to fail, Willow only provides restrictions and pressure. The world can't afford for Elora to fail. And if Elora fails, she dies. But in the end, it's only his ability to accept his failures and victories that allows him to help Elora grow to become the hero she needs to be. And it's an important lesson for us.
Airk is a character that could have easily played into his own trope of charming playboy prince without a care in the world, but this quote helps separate him from stereotype. In episode one, I'm sure we would all admit we all believed, like Kit, that Airk didn't know Elora's public name. But he did. And throughout his time resisting the Crone, Airk proved time and time again that he truly was honorable and that all he wanted was to be good. Madmartigan's departure and Kit's future ascension left Airk looking for his purpose and trying to prove to his family that he was everything his absentee father couldn't be. He does everything he can to be a good boyfriend, a good brother, a good son, a good diplomat, and, in episode seven, he does everything he can to be a good man.
Scorpia is an inspiration. She has lost so much, but still finds the strength to care deeply in the face of her grief. She's lost her mother, father, and several brothers and sisters, but finds it in herself to keep loving. She may be mostly concerned about her people, but it's their philosophy of life, of freedom and liberation (another analysis yet to be written) that sends her on a crusade to save all of those people in Skellin. Not just her people, but all people. And I think that will be important in the war to come. As much as Scorpia will want to avoid war, her belief in freedom for all and rebellion will convince her that it's necessary. The entire Wildwood episode shows us the joy and passion and freedom that's a stake, what's worth fighting for. There is no freedom under the Wyrm and Scorpia will not accept that.
I think it's important to discuss Sorsha and Madmartigan's quotes together, because they explain their mistakes as well as layer them with complexities. One of the things that kind of irritates me is when people paint Mads as saint and Sorsha as awful, because they're cut from the same cloth (Kit, I love you, but I blame you for this). At the end of the day, they were willing to make the hard sacrifices if it meant protecting their kids and saving the world. Neither one of them could have foreseen the harm that their choices would have, but they did what they thought was right. They are one and the same, united in their cause and parenthood. But every single choice also cost them so much sacrifice, the biggest one being their chance at parenting Elora, and I think a lot of people forget that, especially when it comes to Sorsha.
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crowsource · 3 months
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🐦‍⬛ 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 — quotes taken from ava reid's novel. some edits have been made to allow for rp purposes. feel free to adjust for pronouns/names/etc.
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❝ It began as all things did: a girl on the shore, terrified and desirous. ❞
❝ The ephemerality of things is what gives them meaning. ❞
❝ They were both creatures of rage and salt and foam. Both could strip me to the bone. ❞
❝ I wanted nothing more than to tempt their wrath, because if I were brave enough, I might earn their love instead. ❞
❝ I was a treacherous, wrathful, wanting thing, just like he was. Just as he had always wanted me. ❞
❝ Although the tide pools had not shown me my face, I had been revealed. ❞
❝ It was fae-like trickery. There was no answer that wouldn’t damn me. ❞
❝ You’re so pretty. You really are. You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. Do you know that? ❞
❝ We must discuss, then, the relationship between women and water. When men fall into the sea, they drown. When women meet the water, they transform. It becomes vital to ask: is this a meta-morphosis, or a homecoming? ❞
❝ I wanted to say I don’t believe you. ❞
❝ I wanted to say thank you. ❞
❝ I wanted to say tell me more about who I am because I don’t know anymore. ❞
❝ I could tell the whole story as if it had happened to someone else, and it would be completely painless. ❞
❝ The weight of a memory is one thing. You get very used to swimming with it dragging you down. Once it's loosed, you hardly know what to do with your body. You don't understand its lightness. ❞
❝ You don't have to take up a sword. Survival is bravery, too. ❞
❝ In the end I learned that the water was in me. It was a ghost that could not be exorcised. But a guest, even uninvited, must be attended to. ❞
❝ If you can learn to love that which despises you, you can dance on the shore and play in the waves again, like you did when you were young. ❞
❝ Anything can be taken from you, at any moment. Even the past isn't guaranteed. You can lose that too, slowly, like water eating away at stone. ❞
❝ It saved me in more ways than I can count. Because I knew no matter how afraid I felt, I wasn't truly alone. ❞
❝ Are there any ships on the horizon? Will they signal back to me? I never got the chance to know. ❞
❝ But stories were devious things, things with agendas. They could cheat and steal and lie to your face. They could crumble away under your feet. ❞
❝ I wish I had fought. ❞
❝ I know I beat him in the end, but for so many years all I could do was run and hide. I just sat there and let the water pour in around me. ❞
❝ I didn’t know that I could fight back. I didn’t know how to do anything but wait to drown. ❞
❝ Every wanting man has the same wound he can use to slip in. ❞
❝ I wanted you, too. For so long. It was terrible. ❞
❝ Sometimes I could barely eat—sorry, I know that sounds like the strangest thing. But for days I didn't feel hungry at all. I was... occupied. ❞
❝ You took away all the other wanting from me. ❞
❝ It was a beautiful house, but not a clever one. It was a house with no imagination. ❞
❝ Fear could make a believer of anybody. ❞
❝ Didn't all drownings begin with a harmless dribble of water? ❞
❝ There's very little worse than when our heroes fail us, is there? ❞
❝ Men just say whatever they want and everyone believes them. ❞
❝ Love transcends petty theological squabbles. ❞
❝ But if fairies and monsters were real, so were the women who defeated them. ❞
❝ It doesn't matter. I'm not afraid to care about you. ❞
❝ It's very hard to believe something when it feels like the whole world is trying to convince you otherwise. ❞
❝ You're not just one thing. Survival is something you do, not something you are. ❞
❝ You're brave and brilliant. You're the most real, full person I've ever met. ❞
❝ The sea is treacherous, but women are even more treacherous. ❞
❝ You don't see yourself very clearly. ❞
❝ Challenging me isn't pestering. I'm not always right. Sometimes I deserve to be challenged. And changing your mind isn't foolish. It just means you've learned something new. ❞
❝ Everyone changes their mind sometimes, as they should, or else they're just, I don't know, stubborn and ignorant. ❞
❝ Moving water is healthy; stagnant water is sickly. Tainted. ❞
❝ If you want to see what you are, look into the tide pools at dusk. Look into the sea. ❞
❝ I will love you to ruination. ❞
❝ You can die as easily of thirst as you can of drowning. ❞
❝ Love is a fire that cannot burn alone. ❞
❝ The better you know someone, the more terribly you could hurt them. ❞
❝ You don't have to love something in order to devote yourself to it. ❞
❝ A romance is a belief in the impossible: that anything ends happily. ❞
❝ If a story repeated itself so many times over, building itself up brick by brick, did it eventually become the truth? A house with no doors and no windows, offering no escape. ❞
❝ How terrible, to navigate the world without a story to comfort you. ❞
❝ That was the cruelest irony: the more you did to save yourself, the less you became a person worth saving. ❞
❝ I was a woman when it was convenient to blame me, and a girl when they wanted to use me. ❞
❝ I believe you. ❞
❝ Things are only beautiful because they don't last. Full moons, flowers at bloom. You. ❞
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fandoms-rants · 3 months
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Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten & Andriel Quotes Part 3:
(Quotes that remind me of (and/or I think they would say in canon or fanfics which I hope someone will write) Andrew, Neil or both of them and/or therir relationship)
"Do you not understand? I will not settle for anything less than a soul-deep, electrifying connection." (Andriel to Everyone who doubts them)
“Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why are ribs are cages.” (Andrew)
“I have a very intelligent mind but a goddamn stupid heart.” (Andrew **gay panicking** before he kissed Neil the first time)
“Light is easy to love. Show me your darkness.” (Andrew to Neil)
“She’s a combination of sensitive and savage.” (Neil about Andrew)
“Underestimate me. That'll be fun.” (Andrew)
“She will rise. With a spine of steel, and a roar like thunder, she will rise.” (Andrew post-canon)
"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." (Andriel)
“The initmacy of being understood.” (Andriel)
“If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.” (Andrew)
“Why aren't you scared of me? Whyy do you care for me?” (Andrew to Neil and Neil to Andrew)
“The silent ones are the most observant ones.” (Andrew)
“He pretty cute for a Monster.” (Neil about Andrew)
“"I am coming for all the monsters that ever touched him, I am coming for all the ones who twisted his stars into shadows, They turned him into a nightmare, So I'm going to be theirs." (**Neil about Andrew**)
“"When a devil falls in love, it's the most hauntingly beautiful thing ever. And you should be terrified, for he will go to the depths of hell for her." (Andriel)(You choose who the devil is ;)
"Hold him gently in your hands. He has been cracked enough as it is, and his heart is more shattered than he lets on." (Neil about Andrew)
"I defy the stars; I defy Heaven and Hell. The laws of the universe say that the man I love is lost to me. I say: Watch me save him." (Andrew during Baltimore)
"Golden child, Lion boy; Tell me what it's like to conquer.” (Neil to Andrew) Fearless child, Broken boy; Tell me what it's like to burn." (Andrew to Neil)
“I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we." (Andrew to Neil and Neil to Andrew)
“"Survivors have scars. Victims have graves.” (Andriel)
“I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself." (Neil)
“I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary? It's dark and tormented — the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can't attain.” (Andriel)
“I am almost never serious, and I'm always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I'm like a collection of paradoxes." (Andrew)
“If only my heart were as cold as I pretend it is, maybe I could get over this." (Andrew)
“I became bitter and untouchable. I craved affection but even the mere thought of someone caring made my stomach turn." (Andrew)
“I like the scars because I like the stories. Bravery, stupidity, pain-none of them come free." (Andrew to Neil)
“You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly." (Neil about Andrew)
“I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch everything go wrong.” (Andriel)
“You and Atlas are one and the same my dear, cursed to hold a weight you can't bare and still standing not because you can but because you have to.” (Neil to Andrew)
“Lift with your knees, Atlas, the heavens are a burden but in the starlit ink of constellations you have written: Endure." (Andrew)
“"I'm someone who's mostly dead inside but still has a little hope for something extraordinary, which, as I said, is the worst breed of human, because it means I know everything is bullshit, but that I secretly hope for the day when it might not be." (Andrew)
“My abuse isn't poetic. it was not justice or necessary. The earth left me to die and there is no such thing as karma. The gods watched idly by as i was killed in that house and not a damn person tried to help me.” (Andrew)
“You are allowed to grieve over the child you could've been.” (Neil to Andrew)
“"I spent my childhood learning how to fear, and now I spend my adulthood learning how not to." (Andriel)
**Im imagining this in a butcher!Neil or mafia!Neil AU. As a courting gift Neil brings Andrew the heads of all the men who abused him.**
*WARNING: About copyright, Quotes come from various places(ie. FanFiction, Tv, Movies, Music, Pinterest) so use in your own fanfic stories at your own.. I can’t think of the word but you know what I mean.*
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bibbibib · 18 days
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What's your favorite character from all across THG trilogy & TBOSAS?
Why do you like this character?
Favorite quote or moment from them?
Please state one (or more) thing which you don't like from them.
Thank you 😊
@curiousthg
Hi anon!
So here I am going to be basic and say that to me, it's a tie between Katniss and Peeta.
There's plenty of characters across the books I like, and also several I find fascinating, but I love these two in particular. I love how Katniss, for all her skill and bravery and the heroic colours she's being painted with, is first and foremost a realistic 16 year old girl, who kids herself, has insecurities and fears, and feels like a real person and not a stereotype. It isn't a particular thing I like about her, but rather how the combination of her traits creates something ordinary in its extraordinariness, without treating her characterisation and development as an either-or. I love how she is hesitant and scared of romantic relationships, how she can be grumpy and lets-get-it-over-with and at the same time endlessly caring, how her emotions are complicated and her interests across the board. As for Peeta, a lot of the same things apply to him also - lets give a round of applause for Suzanne's characterisation - but some specific things that stand out to me is his steadiness and resillience and his quick mind that presents in a way that is more sweet than biting. I love kind characters who aren't naive.
I think a favourite moment of mine that includes both of them is the compliment battle in THG. Also the cheese buns-training period in CF. I love to read their bantering together. Katniss' narration throughout the book has a lot of moments that have me rolling, and I think I'd really enjoy anything from Peeta's POV if Suzanne had written it, what with his humour and way with words and all.
As for things I don't like about them, this is a rare case where I don't really want to say anything about that. Do they have flaws as people? Absolutely, and there's several points where I disagree with their actions, but I feel all of them are neccessary for them to be good characters. So I'll let those pass.
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sailoryooons · 2 years
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hi!!! for your writng event, i'd like to request a lil something for yoongi inspired by for Taylor Swift's Paper RIngs, especially the line "I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings".
thank you!! <33
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→ Pairing:  Yoongi x female reader
→ Summary:  Yoongi cheers you up in the kitchen after a bad day, reminding you of just how much you love him.   
→ Word Count: 1,027
→ Type: Drabble / Request
→ Genre: established relationship, fluff
→ Main Masterlist: here
→ Rating:  SWF
→ Warnings: Fluff. Some innocent kissing. Drinking wine.
→ Part of Hali’s Happy Agust writing event
→  A/N: NIXIE OF COURSE. I have to admit I was super unfamiliar with the song, but I really tried to incorporate some of it in here, specifically with the number of kisses meaning different things, the little imagery of reading the same books / jumping into the pool, and obviously the quote. I hope this brings you a lil fluff and warmth!
Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgement or representation of real life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real life scenarios
By an unwritten rule, you are required to grumble when Yoongi hauls you up from the couch. You pout at him, trying to convey that the long work day has turned your bones to jelly and that there is no frame to hold your body up.
Seemingly, he gets it. Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you tight as he presses his chest against your back. His chin slots perfectly over your shoulder and he steals a shy kiss on the cheek. That makes you grin a little – perhaps the first one all day.
“You don’t have to do anything except stir,” your boyfriend promises. He begins to nudge you forward, dragging your movements in sync with his. “If you still want to wallow after, you are absolutely in your right to do so. But you asked for one hour of no sadness a day, and we’re doing it.”
You hum, frowning as he manages to drag your ass to the kitchen. You did ask him to hold you accountable for monitoring bad moods and not letting them consume your days and your life. So far, Yoongi had been really fucking good at it, too.
Perhaps it’s the years between you that have given him such amazing insight into who you are as a person. He knows to set you up in the kitchen by placing a glass of wine in your one hand while he slides a cooking spoon in the other: work and reward.
Yoongi knows that when you pout at him as he tosses the meat into a pan, you need just a little extra love. So he lets dinner sizzle as he leans over to you, hand abandoning his task to gently slip a curved finger under your jaw, tilting your mouth to his in a soft kiss that tastes a little bit like sweet red wine and just… Yoongi.
“I know it was a long day,” he murmurs. He presses another chaste kiss to your lips, making your head spin. He pulls away and thinks better of it, stealing a final kiss, nose brushing softly against yours. Your mind is heady with his plush mouth. “It’ll be all right.”
You remember the first time you kissed Yoongi. It had come as a surprise, an act of bravery when you had been crying over failing an exam. He had been sitting next to you on the bench overlooking the lake on campus, and before you knew what was happening, he had pressed his lips against yours.
Even two years later, it makes your head spin. You had been friends with him for years, chewing on a massive crush like a dog on a bone. Being afraid to ruin your friendship has long since been a fear of the past. The softness of his lips at the minty breath of the gum he always chewed had chased away that fear then, and it does now.
Yoongi goes back to cooking gesturing at the noodles that you have now abandoned in favor of staring at his side profile: soft nose, feline eyes, pouted lips and if you squint, freckles.
 “What are you thinking about?” he prompts as you stir the pasta. “You have that look on your face.”
“What look?”
He shrugs. “A cute one.”
“I was thinking about the first time you kissed me.” He goes red from his button nose to his ears. You feel the smile growing on your face, hiding the grin in your glass of wine as you take a sweet sip. It’s a little too sweet, but it’s Yoongi’s favorite. “It was just… so unexpected. I never knew you liked me.”
He snorts. “Everyone else did. I mean don’t get me wrong, I like reading, but I curated my bookshelf after the pile I saw next to your bed freshman year.”
“Really?” He’s never told you that. He shrugs shyly, focused on the sizzle of the pan and popping oil. “That’s cute. Remember that time you jumped into Seokjin’s pool in the middle of the night after that cold snap? Jin didn’t really dare me to follow you – I just did cause I wanted to relate to you.”
“Huh. Kind of dumb, huh?”
“Well I get to sleep next to you now so… perhaps not.”
He grins. You’ve forgotten about your bad day. Forgotten about the way Monday makes your step drag, makes you sag at the edges. Yoongi always has that effect on you, taking your attitude and turning it around with gentle hands.
“I was always worried you wouldn’t return the sentiment.” Yoongi turns the burner off. You do the same, steam wafting around your hand. In tandem, you move around the kitchen, trained in the art of living around one another. “I didn’t have much to offer.”
“Yoongi,” you chide, pouring pasta into the strainer. “I didn’t care about that shit then, and I wouldn’t now.”
“I know, but it’s nice to know that now I have the stability to buy you a ring when we get married.”
“Is that a promise of marriage?”
He steals the fourth kiss from you as he turns on the cold water, cooling the pasta a bit. “It always has been. From that first kiss, I wanted to marry you.”
“Well as it turns out, ring or not, I would marry you.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course, I would. I love you. I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings.”
And you’re absolutely serious. Since the moment you started dating, you’ve pictured a life with Yoongi. Pictured being the one he leans into when he just needs a moment to cry. To be the person for him when he needs a steady hand to give him courage. To be the one that he saved that secret smile of his for, the one where he tucks his face into his shoulder, smile full of gums and eyes squinted.
When you turn to the fridge to get sauce out, Yoongi smiles. Runs his hand over the box in his back pocket. Watches as you stand on your tiptoes to get what you want. “Good to know,” he murmurs. “And I love you too.”
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bylertruther · 1 year
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the 'he freezes and freaks out all the time' is such a terrible take lmao. we've seen the teenager gang shitting their pants in this very same season and they are older. will was 12-13 years old at best when a giant demogorgon kidnapped him and a giant spider smoke monster entered his body. but he always showed his bravery in both of those scenes. he did everything right and grabbed a gun, but ended up being unlucky against the demogorgon. he stood up against a literal giant spider monster and screamed at his face. but he was unlucky again. that doesn't make him unbrave
also, are we forgetting that he survived the UD and figured out how it works just by himself? he figured out how to communicate to joyce, he figured out how to use the lights, he figured out how to cheat the demogorgon for days etc. that is how the teenagers in S4 knew how to use the lights. because Will did figure out first.
damn, that's crazy, because will himself literally describes it as being frozen, and the creators as well as noah describe will as generally being someone that is, and i quote, "scared of everything."
but scared doesn't make him "unbrave," as you say. bravery is all about being scared, but doing the scary thing anyway. in fact, i've often said that's the entire thesis of will's character. that specific brand of bravery can be applied to pretty much every facet of his personality and story, which is precisely what makes him such a striking character that's so easy to love. will is scared of many things and that's okay.
you're getting defensive for no reason. everyone feels fear. will's fear and his reactions to it are literally what have saved his life. running, hiding, and trying his best to communicate with his mom are prime examples. it's when he doesn't listen to his instincts and takes someone else's advice that he fails—much like eddie, in season four.
will being scared and having a freeze response due to his ptsd is not a character flaw nor a negative trait. he is often scared. he often needs help. he doesn't volunteer to go first or stand in front. he hides, and he runs, and he clings to others, and that's okay. that doesn't make him any less brave or any less capable. that doesn't erase everything that he's accomplished. he fights back and he has use within the group—it just looks different. would you say that characters like max and dustin are useless? no, you wouldn't. but people say that about will. why?
they've all encountered unimaginable horrors, especially will, whose experiences have given him a disorder and an all-consuming direct and seemingly inalienable connection with the source of those horrors. on top of all that, he's also still just a kid that already had it a little rough before all of this. his response and the way that they've handled it makes sense.
i don't understand why saying this, which is to say just pointing at the show and the things the creators of the show have said themselves, is so controversial. i don't understand where the idea of scared being synonymous with cowardly came from. i don't understand how a character freezing, just like other characters have freezed before, is such a bad thing. i don't understand how people can look at will and think that he's so one dimensional, as if one trait or uncontrollable habit cancels out everything else that makes him him.
as if needing help makes you useless and weak. as if being scared means you're dragging the group down. as if everyone needs to fight back in the same acceptable way to be considered worthy and equal.
like, respectfully, shut up lol. every single time this conversation comes up, people always put words in my mouth that i didn't ever say. your assumptions and pitiful view of other human beings in moments of distress is not my problem. and if you somehow still have a problem with will being the way that he is, take it up with the people that write him and act out his story for us to see! i'm going based off of what they've written and presented in their show, as well as the words they've spoken in interviews. believe it or not, i don't pull things out of my ass, because i actually like this show and the characters as they are.
editing to add: will's freeze response comes after the events of season one as part of his ptsd. the entire plot of season two is that will is no longer the same after what he's experienced. there's a moment in 2x03 in mr. clarke's class, where they're discussing phineas gage and it's a direct reference to will. the scene starts with him exiting bob's car and walking into the school, feeling uneasy about everyone looking at him oddly. it then transitions to the classroom, where we focus on him and how max is also studying him.
The case of Phineas Gage is one of the great medical curiosities of all time. Phineas was a railroad worker in 1848 who had a nightmarish accident. A large iron rod was driven completely through his head.
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Phineas miraculously survived. He seemed fine. And physically, yes, he was. But his injury resulted in a complete change to his personality. So much so that friends that knew him started referring to him as "No longer Gage."
will's arc has always centered around childhood, innocence, and nostalgia, because he desperately wants to go back, but cannot. this is reflected in his narrative as well as his wardrobe choices, with all parties involved repeating the same thing. him destroying castle byers is a pivotal moment, because it's then that he finally starts to accept this and begin his coming of age. this theme is much of what this character represents. he's different now, no longer the same kid, and that's the entire point. he's "zombie boy", "no longer [will]."
additionally, forced impregnation and possession are violations of his body. it doesn't matter that an extra-dimensional creature or eldritch horror did it instead of a human being (and even then, they did it at the command of a human being). will said "no" and those creatures did it anyway. it's textual and it is what it is. freezing is a common trauma response, and especially a common response to that particular brand of trauma. so, like. what the fuck do you want me to tell you at this point?
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on-a-quest · 4 months
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Roddacember 2023 - 11: Courage
"Fearing, you climbed the mountain. Fearing, you faced its dangers. And fearing, you went on. That is real bravery, Rowan. Only fools do not fear."
Rowan of Rin was such an important book for me as a kid, and still is. I've always been an anxious, sensitive, more introverted person. I was an anxious, sensitive and shy kid, as far back as I can remember. I've always had a lot of worries and fear. Always felt my emotions very strongly. And I've never been the most outgoing and social person, preferring the quiet and calm and time to myself. I've often struggled to fit in properly, to feel like I truly belonged somewhere, especially when surrounded by people who are the polar opposite of me. Much like Rowan. At times in my life, this has left me feeling rather alone.
Reading the book for the first time, I related to Rowan so strongly. Something the book does that I love soooo much is the way it reframes and redefines what we typically consider bravery and a hero. It shows us what it truly means to be brave, that being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid of anything, rather it means that you keep going despite your fears, as Rowan did. It made me realise that having so many fears didn't mean that I wasn't brave, rather that, in so many little ways, I actually was being brave more often than I realised.
Something else I love about Rowan of Rin is the fact that Rowan doesn't change who he is. The story isn’t one of "scared kid learns how not to be scared anymore" or "quiet kid becomes loud", which is often the trajectory and character development in narratives like this. Rowan's fear doesn't completely disappear after the first book. He doesn't suddenly become outgoing. He doesn't lose his sensitive nature and caring heart. No, all those things are still very much a part of him. He simply realises that he is capable of more than he realised, that despite what people in the village thought of him, he actually was as valuable as everyone else, he did have purpose, he wasn't useless or a burden. In fact, the qualities people looked down on him for were the very qualities that would make him a hero in the end. Rowan would not have succeeded in his quest had he not had any fear, or if he wasn't sensitive and gentle, if he was loud and boisterous rather than quieter and attentive to others, if he didn't spend his days nurturing and caring for the animals. This makes for a much more meaningful story in my opinion, an excellent reminder that no one has to go through the transition of "scared kid learns how not to be scared anymore" or "quiet kid becomes loud" to be of value and purpose. Nobody. You don't have to be loud and have no fear - that doesn't have to be your end goal for personal growth or whatever. Who you are the and traits you have are your own unique gifts and skills.
"Only fools do not fear" is also a great quote to remind people that, yes, it actually IS stupid to not be afraid of anything at all. We feel fear for a reason. If we didn't, we would put ourselves in dangerous situations without proper respect for those risks and what could happen.
The lessons in Rowan of Rin have stayed with me since reading it as a child. When I am afraid and anxious, when others suggest that I am less than for the way I am and should change, when I feel different to those around me and run the risk of feeling inferior because it, I think of Rowan. This book will always hold a special place in my heart and I am forever thankful to Emily Rodda for writing it.
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akiizayoi4869 · 5 months
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what is your take on the “mai never fear azula even tho she say she does” or “mai always fear azula even tho her actions say she doesn’t” something to take before u answer i think mai is a complex character with complex feelings towards azula, she is brave, courageous, caring and she respects herself she also hides her feelings behind an apathy and neutral face alsooo fear it’s not only shaking and acting like a scared puppy some quotes about it “ It is easy to say to others, or to yourself, that you are brave when times are calm. When there is no adversity or danger, anyone can say they are brave. But it is only when we are standing in the face of fear that we can truly be brave” “bravery occurs not in the absence of fear, but in overcoming fear” “ u can’t be brave and courageous without being afraid”
“The only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid”
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Courageous people stand up against things that threaten them or the things or people that they care about. They take action in a way that is consistent with their values”
“How can a man be brave if he's afraid? That is the only time a man can be brave” “
“Courage is taking action….no matter what”
“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me”
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down”
so i think mai can be afraid that doesn’t she isn’t going to do something about it like disobeyed or stand up for herself and zuko, she is not a coward she is brave lol idk what do u think ?????
I agree that Mai is a very complex character who has complex feelings towards Azula and their friendship for obvious reasons. That said, though, I don't agree with the whole "Mai was always afraid of Azula" take, simply because at no point in the show are we ever shown that. As far as the "I love Zuko more than I fear you" line goes, I always saw that as Mai hitting Azula where she knew it would hurt, thus keeping Azula's attention on her in order to let Zuko escape. They knew each other since they were kids, after all. So Mai would know exactly what Azula's insecurities were. Not to mention that Azula herself confirmed what said insecurities were during the beach episode.
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papakhan · 3 months
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ooo can i ask 🍎 🍒 and 🍊 for sun for that ask game?
YAY these were all like perfect for him tbh <3 thank you for sending them! Heres the link to the meme
🍎 [RED APPLE] Who does your OC value above all else?
This is kind of situational dependant. It might sound a lil self-centred but in dangerous situations, he operates on a more narrow version of "put on your own oxygen mask first". This mostly comes from the fact that he's Papa Khan's son and Papa has tried to teach him to always save himself, which kind of goes against Sun's moral compass and sense of loyalty. I think a quote I gave him was "if no-body respects me, I must respect myself" which is something he says as he says when he refuses to kneel to some Legionaries. He will not beg, he will not grovel, he will not kneel, in that he is very stubborn.
He is still a people person though, and most of the time I think puts a lot of value on the people around him that he considers family. Any one of his three dads, his Westside crew, Jessup and McMurphy, he loves them all a lot.
🍒 [CHERRY] Who is your OC’s perfect companion?
It's between Jessup and Manny but I think I'll pick Jessup. I think they're good foils for each other in the same way Jessup and Benny are. Sun (and Benny) is a charisma-heavy guy who functions in a way that Jessup just does not respond to. Jessup is a lot sharper than he seems and doesn't fall for flattery or fancy talking. Meanwhile, Jessup is reactive and quick to escalate things but he will still listen to sense and can be beat by quicker wits. Unlike Benny, Sun can get through to Jessup on a moral grounding because they have very similar morality. They're best friends who grew up together but also grew into very very different adults, to the point where no one really understands why they're friends. Jessup is also anti-drug trade due to his family's problems with addiction (mainly Chances) while the Khan drug trade has a lot to do with Sun, on the other side Sun is very anti-violence and war due to his own history while Jessup represents the Khan's fighting force as a mercenary. At the same time though they love and admire each other a lot, Jessup for Sun's bravery and wit and Sun for Jessup's determination and strength.
🍊 [ORANGE] Does your OC have a prophecy surrounding them? If they don’t, what would it be?
OH MAN theyd be so many good ways of doing it. I think about this all the time. Like first of all he's "a son born of man" (literally 'born from a man' because his dad is trans, rather than man just meaning mankind), and then there's the overlap between his name sounding like Son while he is literally the son of a guy who is famously known as Papa. His name overlaps a second time with the sun in the sky which is like our most powerful celestial body (I think) and it would definitely be something equally important, revered and feared in wasteland/Khan history. In his originally Khan version when he was called Sunset Papa told people he was named "for the end of days" and tbh i think it could still work with his new name, though itd be more symbolic of him being born after the "darkness" of the New Khans/power struggle. So yeah it'd definitely be something like "A son born of man will light the sky after the long darkness" or something idk what he actually does he's in my mind rn
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flowers-of-io · 2 years
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Dunno if you read my tags on that recent Light v Dark post yet BUT… I think the idea of Savathûn becoming a Lightbearer as the (current) penultimate example of the Traveler / the Light favouring complexity-change-growth-expansion would be very interesting to you. Of Savathûn literally rejecting simplicity by ridding herself of her worm in favour of choosing complexity / the Light and the Light in turn choosing her. 👀
I'm!!!!! You're SO right about the whole thing but these tags especially smacked me in the face because. ouGH.
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I'm terminally sick about the fact that the Light is all about choice. The Winnower says about the Gardener:
That wandering refugee chose to make a stand, spend their power to say: "Here I prove myself right. Here I wager that, given power over physics and the trust of absolute freedom, people will choose to build and protect a gentle kingdom ringed in spears. And not fall to temptation. And not surrender to division. And never yield to the cynicism that says, everyone else is so good that I can afford to be a little evil."
It's all about giving you a gift and letting you choose what to do with it--all by yourself, out of your free will. All this talk about the Traveler choosing Guardians, the Young Wolf being "Traveler's Chosen", and yet you must first choose to be chosen! Light is a reckless gift because the Gardener wagers you will use it well, even (and maybe especially) if you don't remember making the choice to accept it. Nokris says in Arrivals, "Give and be given. Take and be Taken.", and this--this is exactly what is required, only this: devotion that births bravery that births sacrifice--this ultimate offering of giving yourself up for someone else...
And yes, yes, this is exactly why Immaru chose Savathûn!!!!! I'm INSANE over the fact the Traveler showed her the vision of her death--"I saw the end before it happened"--when she was still in the crystal. It knew her so well!!! It knew her nature had always been cunning and insight and--quoting Savathûn herself here--"ignorance keeps, knowledge usurps". Savathûn, who after millennia of serving the Deep had still been wary of the Logic, because she had not found that strict, eternal proof it was right. Savathûn who fed on people's failed guesses about her, who flipped the absolute shit when we dared assume we knew her.
And what the Traveler did was smack the ultimate lesson about trust into her and tell her she would never know!!!! She would never be sure!!!!! If there's an answer, I don't hear it!!!!!!! BECAUSE NOW THE WORLD BEGINS TO FADE!!!!! And it fucks me up so much because then in the Altar of Reflection Savathûn says, "I didn't want to die, you know. I had always wanted to live." One of the first things we learn about her, back when she was Sathona, is her mortifying fear of death. She says about the forst year of sailing with her sisters, "these are the happiest years of my life", and RIGHT AFTER THAT writes: "I want to be a mother not because I want to spawn but because I want a long life. Long enough to make a difference. We have been at sea a year and I am afraid, afraid we will die out here." This is what prompted her to dive, that they were running out of time and she was almost too old to eat the mother jelly. More time. More life.......
AND SHE STILL CHOSE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT. DESPITE NOT BEING SURE. DESPITE RISKING EVERYTHING.
My feelings about Sav outright asking the Traveler to save her, submitting to it, calling herself a supplicant, are a whole 'nother can of worms entirely, but--again--CHOICE.
I love your notion that she gave it all up to have a choice--not only to side with the Light, but also in the broader sense, to be free to make her own fate.
And we should mention too how insane a wager the Traveler was making here. This woman had stalked it for billions of years! This woman who cannot be trusted, who feeds on deceit, who had once stood for everything the Traveler is genuinely afraid of. This had all the right to go so horrendously, spectacularly wrong!!! And to some extent it did, and that's even more insane, because the Traveler did this immense act of trust, and she did an immense act or trust, and then she just went and immediately broke it. Proving the Winnower right, unwittingly as it were.
AND WHAT'S EVEN MORE INSANE is that the Traveler DOESN'T PUNISH HER FOR IT. ALRIGHT? LET THAT SINK IN. She doesn't get laserbeamed to death, the Traveler doesn't remove her Light, Ghost cries about why the Traveler isn't doing anything--even after we free it from the cobwebs! It is still just there, silently watching. And the last thing it does when Sav finally dies is blinding us with a flash of light right as Immaru escapes, so that we won't catch him.
There's this play I had to read in high school, The Undivine Comedy (the one by Z. Krasiński, not the one by T. Barolini), I absolutely hated the story but loved the tropes. I should probably dissect it in a separate post on my main, especially the point it makes regarding the romanticisation of an artist's lifestyle, but that's for another day. But here I wanted to talk about the ending, when Pancras (essentially the epitome of evil) screams, "Galilaee, victis" in all caps and gets laserbeamed to death by the light of God's glory. And I remember being like holy shit when I read that, because I'm always like holy shit when the cornered antagonist realises the Force Of Good was actually right, like when Savathûn (SAVATHÛN, with her plans upon plans!!!) admits she miscalculated. But put in a (roughly) the same situation, in the general orbit of the same trope, Pancras gets obliterated and (dead, vulnerable) Savathûn has her Ghost saved from certain death by the very entity whom trust she has just broken.
Because redemption is not a single grand decision!!! It's a decision. And then it's a decision. And then it's a decision. It's making this choice over and over to build and protect, not to fall to temptation, not to surrender to division. It's not a pact, like with the worms, a single choice you can never back up from. No, there is always a way out, always the choice to stop choosing the Light. THIS is forgiveness!!! THIS is a redemption arc!!! And it's still far from being done, and I'm so here to see it unfold, and I'm in tears.
Anyway. Yeah. I, um, I'm sorry if you expected a more hinged reply to that...
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daffodilhorizon · 8 months
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It really pisses me off when carnists go full massacre on a species just because there is a MILD risk of SLIGHT harm I’m in the garden daily with wasps excitedly pollinating next to me and i’ve never been stung. If they sting me, That Will Be An Important Lesson for me (to quote discworld) but they don’t deserve to die because i get a mild itchy spot. I’ll just be more careful about giving them space if that happens, because i do not believe in capitalist land borders. no one actually own land they’re eating from (and pollinating the plants i eat, thank you wasps!!!! love u!!!!), so therefore they have just as much a right to be there as any other beloved creature of earth. Like carnists, do you want to tear down all rose-bushes and thorny fruit bushes like blackberries just because there’s the chance you’ll get a widdle boo-boo when out in the garden? That’s how much of a child you sound like, but worse, since wasps and other invertebrates can actually think and feel pain unlike rosebushes Other beings don’t deserve to be harmed just because they got scared or confused and gave you a little scratch. They don’t maliciously decide to sting people who are big enough to kill them, they’re smarter than that. Just like spiders, they aren’t trying to initiate a 1v1 combat, sometimes they just end up in the same space as humans and get defensive of their resources.  it’s our responsibility as the ones with greater power and strength to use that strength not to harm the little stingy ones but to protect them. Killing in fear is to be weak and to abuse your privileges of size and strength. Be brave and face the wasps, and forgive them if they sting you. Stand up to other humans to protect them. That’s true bravery and strength.
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orchidscript · 7 months
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Hello! M R S for the fandom alphabet ask please!
oh man, these are good... Thank you for asking!
M: Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend
oooh... Henry Fox from RWRB. I think we're about the same speed honestly.
And, if I could also borrow Marjan for her internet prowess in getting me over my fear of creating video social media content... that would be nice too.
R: Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?
I love a lot of these because they are, to me, the richest vein when establishing who a character is. Especially outside of a romantic relationship. I think showing people in relationships with close friendships is very important and, frankly, underdone.
I love Carlos + Grace's friendship in Lone Star -- there's a beautiful amount of trust and bravery there, and I wish I could write it better. Some day, maybe. I really love Marjan and Paul's friendship -- the only time the show really got me, emotions wise, was during the whole pacemaker rift.
I love Henry being good friends with June Claremont-Diaz and Alex being friends with Princess Bea. Partners being close with their partner's siblings just makes me happy. Also, Alex and Nora, setting each other straight every time; just excellent foils to one another.
S: Show us an example of your personal headcanon.
So, I develop new headcanons for every fic I write. There are very few that aren't sexual in nature that carry over to everything. I think the few I have (all for RWRB at the moment) are:
Henry is a great dancer; grinding just isn't his thing.
Alex is a great cook and cares a lot about food
Henry drinks coffee, he just doesn't prefer it.
I also just realized that I do have 1 for Lone Star, and it's this: TK Strand can cook a serviceable, edible meal. It's not mad fancy or anything -- maybe a basic pasta or something baked -- but he isn't god awful at it.
This one comes from 3 students I've had who were all volunteer firefighters. And ALL of them, at one point or another, came to me to ask for basic but good recipes because -- and I quote -- "I can't mess it up, Miss C, or I'm gonna catch all kinds of hell. And I messed up last time, so the pressure's on."
For the record, I gave him a really easy sheet pan meal and he did well. I set him up with a bunch of stuff to practice over the summer, so hopefully he's an ace in that kitchen now ;)
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Meaning/references behind every Gilmore Girls episode title - Season 3, Part 1
Hi friends! It's been a minute since my last installment in this little series I've been working on. I'm trying to make a definitive, clear, concise list of the meanings and references behind each episode title. I'm going season-by-season and filling in references when I catch them.
Some titles are quite obvious and literal, but many are clever references that emphasize themes and symbolism happening in the plot or character relationships. I like trying to figure them all out and wanted to share in case I have some wrong or people have caught references I've missed or didn't know writers may have spoken about, etc. ASP has such a deep well of pop culture knowledge, I enjoy mining it.
Masterlist: Season 1 Season 2, Part 1 Season 2, Part 2 Season 3, Part 1 Season 3, Part 2
My notes: - As always, please correct anything I've gotten wrong and share your own insight! - Many of these notes are pulled from and/or learned via annotatedgilmoregirls.com - an absolute icon! I claim no author originality. I'm just the one to compile/edit them. :) - Season 3 marks the first season that pulls literal quotes from episodes for some of the titles. That was never done in S1-2 at all and 5 times in S3!
Season 3, Part 1
Those Lazy, Hazy Crazy Days Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer is a popular song composed by Hans Carste. It was originally written as "Du spielst 'ne tolle Rolle", with German lyrics by Hans Bradtke, and was first recorded under that title in 1962 by Willy Hagara. In 1963, it was recorded by Nat King Cole, with English lyrics written by Charles Tobias on a theme of nostalgia. The song serves as inspiration for and the soundtrack to Taylor’s First Annual Stars Hollow End of Summer Madness Festival. In keeping with the theme of madness, a barbershop quartet sings this song on a sanity-eroding permanent loop at the festival. It is performed by Mick Foster and Tony Allen in the show.
Haunted Leg Lorelai catches a cold and wishes for a more exotic illness. “I mean, I’d like to have a good illness, something different, impressive. Just once I’d like to be able to say, ‘Yeah, I’m not feeling so good, my leg is haunted.’”
Application Anxiety Rory has some reality checks and fears about her college application process as she finally receives her Harvard application. Lorelai uses the phrase when telling Rory about the Harvard alumni visit. 
This One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes The title is a reference to a line from a campy classic film trailer for On Her Majesty's Secret Service (a 1969 spy film and the sixth in the James Bond series), introducing Bond’s love interest (Teresa "Tracy" Bond, born Teresa "Tracy" Draco, and also known as the Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo) with the line “Diana Rigg as the Contessa - the different kind of Bond woman. This one’s got class and style.” Tracy is the girl Bond falls in love with and marries (technically he first marries in You Only Live Twice, but as an undercover ploy). She’s the first Bond girl to really show bravery, intelligence, and talent in her own right. She’s also the first to rescue Bond himself. “This one’s got class” has taken on a life of its own as a colloquialism to describe a version of something that’s the best of its kind - a high rating based on grade, quality and perceived worth. Although the title of this episode is ostensibly about the two different plots – Lorelai has to give a talk to a “class” while Lane “dyes” her hair – knowing this context, we know it mostly alludes to Rory seeing herself as the girl with “class”, while in comparison Shane is the one who dyes her hair platinum blonde and engages in PDA, meaning that she isn’t as “classy”. Quite possibly the most literal “not like the other girls” allusion in the show.
Eight O'Clock at the Oasis Midnight at the Oasis is a song written by David Nichtern. It was recorded in 1973 by American folk and blues singer Maria Muldaur for her self-titled album and is her best-known recording. The song is about an offer of a love affair in a fantasy desert location, and is considered to be one of the most sensual songs of the 1970s. It’s the song that plays as an alarm when Rory looks at the clock (reading eight o’clock) at Dwight’s house, which of course he nicknames “The Oasis”. 
Take the Deviled Eggs... Sherry pressures Lorelai and Rory to take leftover deviled eggs home after her baby shower. Lorelai rants on the way home: “’Take the deviled eggs!’ How many times did the woman say it? And then her drunken friends hear it and they’re all shouting, ‘Take the deviled eggs!’” Could possibly be referencing other turns of phrase involving taking a kind of food item. “Take the biscuit” is a British idiom meaning to be especially annoying or surprising or to be the worst or best of its kind. Similarly, to “take the cake” means to have ranked first, typically used to describe something that is very surprising, foolish, remarkable, or annoying. Both of these would describe Sherry’s baby shower. Perhaps even “take the mickey” or “take the piss”, British euphemisms for making fun of someone. “Mickey” is slang for “micturate” which means to urinate. Of course, the girls do in fact take the deviled eggs and end up throwing them at Jess’s car.
They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? The title is a reference to the 1969 psychological drama film, They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, directed by Sydney Pollack and based on the 1935 novel of the same name by Horace McCoy. Set during The Great Depression, the film focuses on a group of people desperate to win a dance marathon where they are ruthlessly exploited, and stars Jane Fonda, Michael Sarrazin, and Susannah York. The title comes from the fact that race horses are often shot once they break their legs to put them out of their misery. The film was a commercial success, and is regarded as one of the best films of its era. As in the film, this episode is about a dance marathon - although it isn’t nearly as dramatic as the one in the film.
Let the Games Begin The ancient Olympic Games were first opened in 776 BC with the announcement: “Let the games begin!” In this episode, the “game” that’s beginning refers to both Jess and Rory’s new relationship and Rory starting to consider Yale over Harvard. Lorelai says the phrase before Richard and Emily pick them up to visit Yale. 
Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving Lorelai and Rory endeavor to attend four different Thanksgiving meals in one day, including Sookie’s which ends up being a deep fried fest thanks to Jackson’s family and the Kims’ which of course has some Korean flair.
That'll Do, Pig During Trix’s visit to the Independence Inn, Emily begins to eat her food very slowly, resenting how quickly Trix wants to rush them along according to her schedule. Lorelai quips: “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.” which is a quote from Babe, a 1995 comedy-drama film directed by Chris Noonan, produced by George Miller, and written by both, based on the 1983 novel The Sheep-Pig, by Dick King-Smith. In the film, a grateful misty-eyed Farmer Hoggett says this line to the pig Babe after he has, against all odds, won a sheepdog trial, despite not being a dog. One of the most understated last lines in film history, it’s a dignified, restrained way for Lorelai to say Emily is doing very well provoking Trix.
I Solemnly Swear Lorelai is asked to give a deposition in support of Emily’s case against Gerta, her unfairly dismissed German maid. This is where the title presumably comes from, because “I solemnly swear” is how an oath to tell the truth taken in legal contexts begins. Meanwhile, Rory (the current student council vice president) deals with political drama at school between student council president Paris and senior class president Francie. A president’s oath of office also begins with “I solemnly swear.”
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pebblysand · 1 year
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I was going through you favorite character list, and I was pleasantly surprised to see you call Hermione as who you'd consider the bravest character in the series. Especially since Harry is your favorite and boy is courage defining of him! Would you mind elaborating some more why you think so? Or if this opinion has changed if ever? I'm really curious on your thoughts about Hermione and courage.
hi! wow, that's a very old post, i'm impressed! it's such an interesting question as well, so thanks for asking!
as this goes beyond my fics and is more about canon in general, i will state at the outset that i am not a meta person. i think there are so many different ways to view/understand a character depending on where you're standing (in your life and as a person) that i really don't think i hold any bigger truth on the potter series, or on hermione in particular. i also do not pretend to have anywhere near the amount of knowledge of canon required to write good meta and frankly, there are people who know A Lot More and do this much better than i ever would. i've been tempted in the past to write peaky blinders meta but i think this is because a) i know the show much better (i could probably quote it from memory) and b) it's a show, not a book. since school, to be honest, literary analysis has always bored me. so, in short: i'm a fic writer, not a meta-er - keep that in mind. i'll answer your question but just know this is my general vision and understanding of hermione's character - nothing more. just a jumble of random thoughts, lol.
i however think question is very interesting and while i don't think my opinion has changed since then, i do think i drafted the post you're referring to a bit quickly and didn't care for my words very much. i used "brave" as a general expression as we often do, without really giving much thought about the difference between courage, and bravery.
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i think, per this definition, you're probably right: harry is the bravest person in the series. we see him many times stand up against oppressors, put himself in dangerous situations to save himself and others, etc. he does these things because it's right, because he feels it in his gut, because: it's who he is. but harry is someone who a) holds very little regard or fear for the consequences of his actions (i.e. he just acts in the moment and doesn't care if he's punished) and b) feels like he doesn't have a choice. a lot of harry's actions, as perceived by himself, would be explained by: 'well, i didn't have a choice.' when he stands up umbridge, he probably thinks 'well, i wasn't going to let her say that, was i?' or, when he fights with voldemort - 'well, it was me or him.' to him, there is very little choice in fighting. it's just who he is and what he has to do to survive. there is no alternative to consider.
i don't think it makes him any less noble. firstly, because, as dumbledore often points out, harry makes a lot of other choices, which are very noble. they're not necessarily brave in the way that they don't put him in danger, but he is kind. he is thoughtful. he loves people and other humans despite everything that has been done to him. he disapproves of his father's actions in ootp. he enjoys the company of people who are underdogs, like luna or neville. he could have had a very different life, made very different friends, been much more of an arsehole. those are very important, beautiful qualities in a human being. it's not necessarily brave, but it doesn't have to be. secondly, i also think that while to him, there is no choice in the brave acts he takes part in, objectively, that's a much more debatable point. because, of course, looking at it from the outside, he could have let everyone else die. he could have run away. but, he didn't. and harry himself probably thinks he couldn't have done it any other way, but of course, that's a very biassed point of view. and, tbh, that's something i definitely explore in my writing, and something i'm very interesting in. how much of a choice did harry really have in the risks he took? how much of a choice do you have when you have a gun to your head? honestly, i don't know. i don't have answers. but that's an absolutely fascinating concept to explore and play with as a writer.
however, still per the above, i believe hermione is the most courageous person in the series. because hermione not only has a choice, but she knows she has a choice, which in my opinion sets her apart from harry. they are both willing to sacrifice everything (including their lives) for the cause, but have very different reasonings. hermione is intellectual. she draws lists in her head of pros and cons. she is incredibly clever and analytical and she wasn't born into this. she didn't have to make the choices she made, there was never a gun to her head to begin with. she made all of her decisions consciously and thoughtfully because they are right. hermione looked at the options she had, and decided. she could have very easily gone with her parents to australia, she could have gone to muggle university, lived a normal life, but she didn't. and i don't think for a second that it was because magic intellectually interested her. she is interested in a million different things that would have brought her the same amount of satisfaction. she did it because she wouldn't have been able to live with herself and with the choices she made otherwise. she chose to fight despite her fears. she chose to stay with harry despite her broken heart. because those were the Right Things. there is a line in castles where harry says: "There are tears in her eyes and he’s suddenly struck with memories of last year, when he realised that she could cry herself to sleep every night and still get up every morning and carry on." and, i think that's what's so, so interesting with hermione. she is the ultimate figure of choice in the series, in my opinion. and, i'm also fascinated with that. because: why? why do you make that choice?
anyway, this is all i'll say for now as random ramblings, but i do want to state for the record that i will be writing fic about this. there is a ROAR fic brewing about hermione, and choice, and friendship. i'm hoping to finish it and publish it early next year :).
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ardenrabbit · 1 year
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Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
What a fun question! Thank you for asking! I think I already answered an ask about favorite characters, but here's a list of some of my favorite media in no particular order 💜
1. Avatar the Last Airbender: If you didn't grow as a person if/when you watched atla I just don't know what to say to you. Watch it again I guess? Learn self-love and empathy and healthy coping tactics
2. Lord of the Rings, by Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien, especially Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring, Extended Version: Favorite movie. Nostalgia factor. Gandalf. Viggo Mortensen ruining all other men for me. Boromir being a Good Man. The soundtrack of this movie is Home to me.
3. The Goblin Wood, book by Hilari Bell: Friendship, magic, and angry, vengeful witches. Anti-colonialism. Great take on magic. Questioning dogma and learning how not to be a cop. A crotchety goblin named Cogswhallop who is my best friend.
3. Big Fish: Movie with Albert Finney, Ewan Mcgregor, and Marion Cotillard my beloved. Whimsical, heartwarming, and profoundly bittersweet story about people learning to communicate and share in each other's lives. I really just fucking love this movie.
4. ⭐ A Silent Voice: Japanese animated movie about a former bully learning to not hate himself, a deaf girl learning self-worth, and a lot of people learning to be friends. Fucking stunning visuals and music. Another profoundly bittersweet one with a happy ending, and one I wish I'd seen earlier in my life. Content warning: two suicide attempts.
5. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu: Chinese web novel with several adaptations, about a lot of fascinating topics with oceans of nuance because MXTX is a genius tbh, but largely about questioning convention and doing the right thing, the different ways in which people can love, the meanings of bravery, and some zombies. I also love her novel Tian Guan Ci Fu but have to analyze the themes a little more before I can confidently talk about what it means? It's fucking incredible though (and like twice as long lol)
6. No. 6, by Atsuko Asano: Japanese web novel with a manga and anime adaptation (manga is the best): honestly just a fun time about destroying The System with gay love and bees. Deuteragonist is an edgy dumbass who lived in a cave, blows up government vehicles, and quotes too much Shakespeare. To this day I am endlessly entertained by Nezumi.
7. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss: Book series comprising The Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear. Someday will include the final book, Doors of Stone. Epic fantasy story about a bard-rogue-wizard with delusions of grandeur giving his memoir after all the damage he's caused. Involves the COOLEST magic systems in one world, does an amazing job of establishing a truly low-fantasy-feeling but simultaneously deeply mystical environment, and has exactly the kind of compelling eccentricity that I love in characters. Beautifully poetic prose.
8. Dragon Age: rpg video game series about a series of Unfortunate World Events. You play a different character in each game, the protagonist at the center of one catastrophe or another, and they all tie in beautifully in the overall world story progression. The characters you meet are multidimensional and SO worth analyzing, because they're all fascinating and flawed people (except Varric Tethras, who is Perfect and The Love of my Life (my wife knows and accepts this)).
9. ⭐ Gates of Fire, by Steven Pressfield: Okay, FUCK THIS BOOK for being about the battle of Thermopylae where you know EXACTLY how that ended for the defending army and MAKING YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS ANYWAY. Insanely well-researched historical fiction. Sympathetic to the subject and emotionally and socially insightful to a devastating degree. The best representation of the camaraderie and friendship in warrior culture without all the awful macho bullshit we've come to expect and loathe. They really ask the question "what is the opposite of fear" and come to the answer "love." I have broken down sobbing while reading a story three times in my life, and TWO of those times were from this book. Seriously, fuck this book. I will never write half as well as Steven Pressfield.
10. ⭐ It's Such a Beautiful Day, by Don Hertzfeldt: Remember the animation show on YouTube, that absurdist hand-drawn animation with the robots? Yeah that guy made a whole emotionally gutting, bittersweet movie about the nature of life and coming to terms with the end of it. Intergenerational trauma, chronic illness, and a lot of introspection. Beautifully paced storytelling. This is an Important Movie. It's not immediately stylistically accessible to everyone, but seriously, open your heart and branch out. This movie made me a little more whole.
If I had to pick three of these to shove in people's faces, it would be the starred and red ones lol. Not enough people know about them or have taken the time to appreciate them.
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