#i made like a 15-20 year commitment

[probablyasocialecologist]

Traditionally, the image of a figleaf was used by artists to cover the body parts (think Adam and Eve) that they were not supposed to show in their paintings. As I use the term, a figleaf is a communicative device that provides just a bit of cover for something that one isn’t supposed to show in public – like racism. To see how this works, let’s first take a closer look at Trump’s call for a Muslim ban. Here is a statement, cast in the third person, that he read aloud in December 2015: Donald J Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on. The anti-Muslim message is loud and clear, and not hidden at all. But the end of the statement is the bit that I want to focus on: ‘until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on’. For some people, this phrase provided reassurance that Trump isn’t racist – because a real racist would want to ban Muslims period, not just while we figure out what’s going on. This is a figleaf: it provides just enough cover for the racism that isn’t acceptable to show in public. One reason that figleaves like this work is that many white people accept what the sociolinguist Jane Hill called ‘the folk theory of racism’. This view sets a very high bar for what counts as racist: a racist has to consciously believe in the biological inferiority of people of colour, and intend to be racist. Somebody like this would want to ban Muslims forever, not just temporarily. Similarly, they wouldn’t suggest that ‘some’ Mexican immigrants are good people, as Trump did. Nor would they have a Black friend, or declare themself to be non-racist, this line of thinking goes. A view such as this one makes it very easy for utterances to serve as figleaves for racism. These figleaves allow a voter to continue supporting a candidate who has made a comment that might have worried them. They don’t need to become fully convinced that the candidate is non-racist; it’s enough in many cases to be uncertain about whether the utterance indicates racism. When I examined discussions among Trump supporters online, I found people who worried about Trump’s views on Mexicans being reassured by those who pointed out that he also said some of them are good. ‘I didn’t hear him say anything racist against any race,’ one person posted. ‘What I did hear him say is, “Illegal Mexicans bring drugs, crime, and are rapists, but I’m sure some are good people.” Seriously, whats racist about that?’ Another Tweeted: ‘Trump is not racist … Trump is not against all mexicans just the illegals.’ Another classic form of figleaf involves reporting the words of others, either specifically (‘John Smith says…’) or in a vague, handwavy way (‘Lots of people are saying…’) This is a great way to avoid responsibility for what one is inserting into the discourse. We see this technique in the British politician Enoch Powell’s infamous ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech in 1968, in which he described a constituent (a ‘quite ordinary working man’) as saying: ‘In this country in 15 or 20 years’ time the black man will have the whip hand over the white man.’ Reports like these help to normalise the sentiments expressed, while distancing the speaker from them. Figleaves are not for everyone. Some people don’t need them: fully committed racists are happy with blatantly racist comments, no figleaves required. Many people won’t be convinced by them: antiracist activists, for example, will see right through the attempted reassurance. For others, though, they provide just what is needed – a licence to go on supporting the person they feel drawn to.

#racism #politics

[queenofcoquette]

my current goals

introduction:

hey loves! i made a post like this before the summer and now i feel like updating this with my goals for the 2024 year- when i want to get them done and the habits to get there.

1. getting my permit- february 2 (taking the test)

everyday i've been reading about 20ish pages of the handbook and taking notes

finding online flashcards to test myself on the knowledge

2. getting a job- late april/early may

i'm gonna keep applying to jobs but 1) a lot of places don't hire 15 year olds and 2) a local pizza place already told me i can get a job once i turn 16 which is in late april

once i get a job i want to start taking acting classes (i need to wait until im being paid lol) cuz that seems like a fun thing to do.

3. finishing the schoolyear with a 4.0- late may (when school ends)

daily chem practice since it's my hardest class

reviewing notes for ALL my classes everyday after school

4. launching an etsy shop- maybe late summer to early october

sewing everyday (when i have spare fabric)

trying out new patterns

learning how to make my own sewing patterns

5. growing out my hair/ learning to style it

finding a new shampoo & conditioner

weekly oiling & massages for my scalp (i already do this)

trying new methods to get the look i want for my hair

general habits:

water polo. i recently joined water polo which takes up a lot of my time now, 3-5 pm on all weekdays except wednesday which is 7-9.

reading 20 minutes at home (i already read a lot after i get my work done at school)

writing 500 words per day. i write a lot on weekends but on weekdays i never get much done so i'm gonna start small and then workup from there.

being physically active everyday. i want to get into the habit of doing a small workout after practice before my shower.

nightly prayer. i used to skip my before bed prayers but since the end of summer i've been commiting to pray every night. i might also start praying in the morning.

conclusion:

overall i think it's good to focus on building healthy habits, even more so than goals or resolutions. but i also think there's a lot of value in having goals to work towards and healthy things to focus on. i hope you all have a great year full of health and happiness, i hope we all learn new things and grow as people too. :)

#that girl 2024 #that girl #queenofcoquette #self improvement #pink pilates princess #coquette #it girl #healthy habits #self care

[sflow-er]

YR Season 3 speculations: a layperson’s take on the criminal justice side

I’ve been considering making this kind of post for a while, because I’ve seen a lot of hopeful takes on how things are going to play out now that Sara has called the police, and I feel like I could add some perspective for those less familiar with the Swedish justice system. I hesitate to do it because I’m just a layperson and not even from Sweden but the next country over - but our justice systems are reasonably similar, I’ve spent a lot of time poring over relevant sources on Swedish law and justice, and @scatteredpiecesofme encouraged me to do this after our conversation yesterday.

So, here goes, haha.

As usual, I could very well be wrong about some things, and I welcome any additions or corrections!

Part 1: The system

Let’s start with a cultural observation: the criminal justice system in Sweden strives to be rehabilitative (restorative) instead of strictly punitive (retributive). This is especially true for young and first-time offenders, who are yet to develop a ‘criminal lifestyle.’ Fines, suspended sentences, and sentences on the lower end of the scale are the norm unless the crime is very serious. (See for example this text in Swedish about how the brain only fully matures at 25 and how young people experience punishments more severely.)

Swedish law recognises three different age brackets for offenders: 15 to 18, 18 to 21, and over 21 (adult). The punishments for young adults were harshened in Jan 2022 for some severe crimes (mostly to counter gang violence), but YR is set in the autumn of 2020 and spring of 2021. With that in mind, let’s review the situation that should apply in the show.

Firstly, the now-outdated law and practice include something known as ungdomsrabatt (juvenile discount). Any sentence given to an 18-year-old is normally reduced to 50% of an adult’s sentence, and a sentence given to a 16-year-old is reduced further so they get about 20-25% of an adult’s sentence. This can either mean a reduced version of the same sentence, or an alternative, more lenient sentence. Punishment can also be waived entirely for juveniles sentenced to minimal fines for minor offences (e.g. minor narcotics offences).

Secondly, there are some punishments specifically designed for young offenders. Ungdomstjänst (youth community service) and ungdomsvård (youth/juvenile care) mostly apply to those under 18 but can also apply to those under 21 where appropriate. The latter is for those in need of social service intervention; it’s an open arrangement where the juvenile continues living at home. Sluten ungdomsvård (institutional youth care) only comes into play in very serious cases. It’s the primary punishment for minors who would otherwise face imprisonment and, under the old law, also for those under 21, unless there are very heavy grounds for prison time.

There is also something called ungdomsövervakning (youth supervision); basically youth care with more restrictions. However, it was only introduced in Jan 2021, which means it cannot be applied to crimes committed earlier (for example in YR S1).

As mentioned, juveniles can also be sentenced to reduced versions of the same punishments as adults. For young adults, that most likely means a suspended sentence and/or community service and/or fines. These fines are often dagsböter (day-fines), which can range from 50 to 1000 kronor based on the defendant’s income, wealth, and debts for example. The minimum number is 30 fines, the maximum is 150, or 200 for several crimes. There can also be some other financial consequences, e.g. a 1000-krona payment to the Crime Victim Fund or compensation for the victim (these are much lower sums than in the US, for example).

Here’s a made-up example from Domarbloggen: three people aged 16, 18 and 22 beat someone up together. The 22-yo gets 4 months’ imprisonment, which means the 18-yo should get 2 months. Instead, she gets a suspended sentence and 75 hours of community service. The 16-yo should get 1 month, but that is commuted to 50 hours of youth community service. Social services are (and must be) involved for the 16 and 18-yo but find that they are not in need of any services.

Thirdly, juveniles are processed differently from adults. If someone younger than 21 is suspected of a crime, the police investigation that starts when the crime comes to light must be conducted without delay. For those under 18, there’s a time limit of 6 weeks from the initial police report to the decision to prosecute. In many cases, the prosecutor can simply decide not to bring charges and hand the matter over to social services instead. (See for example this Q&A document on the old law, in English.) 

Young offenders are also often eligible for förundersökningsbegränsning (limitation of preliminary investigation) and åtalsunderlåtelse (no-prosecution deal). In the former, the police and prosecutor decide not to investigate the crime, and in the latter, the suspect confesses their guilt to avoid being charged or tried for that particular crime. There are specific circumstances in which these can come into play - for example, when there are several crimes being investigated/charged and the crime in question would not affect the sentencing, or the sentence would be minor anyway. Here’s more info on the reasoning in Swedish, but it’s basically done to save resources for other crimes. The sentence for all the crimes committed is determined as a whole; it does not necessarily match the sum total of all the individual sentences. Accepting a deal means the crime will still go on the person’s criminal record.

If sufficient evidence is found and the matter does go to trial, the court can decide to hold it behind closed doors if the parties are young and/or to protect them from negative publicity. The judge must also be specialised in juvenile cases if the defendant is under 18.

Trials in this corner of the world are usually rather boring compared to what you see on TV. There’s no jury or heated cross-examination. The facts are presented, the injured party, defendant, and witnesses are heard, and the court considers the case. (Here’s a detailed description and even a 24-minute film in Swedish.) 

The bar for detaining young offenders before and after the trial is higher than for adults, but it can happen if they are considered dangerous or there’s a risk of them destroying evidence/influencing the witnesses (for minors, the social services usually watches over them instead). There is no bail system.

Oh, and if someone is sentenced to prison after all, they are not necessarily taken away directly after the trial. Serving the sentence may be postponed until the period of appeal runs out (often 3 months after the sentence enters into force, according to the Prison and Probation Service).

So, now that we know the framework, let’s take a look at the crimes that could come into light in YR S3! Not just those committed by August, but also those committed by Simon and Wilhelm.

Part 2: The crimes committed by the mains in YR

All excerpts quoted are from an English translation of the Swedish Criminal Code. I will include some of my own interpretations in the context of the show - but while reading those, please keep in mind that I’m just a layperson and could well be completely mistaken!

Kränkande fotografering (intrusive photography): August

A person who unlawfully, by means of a technical device, covertly records an image of a person who is indoors in a home, or in a toilet, dressing room or other similar space, is guilty of intrusive photography (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 6a)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 2 years.

I don’t think this should be very hard to prove now that Wille has admitted to being on the video. August could of course claim it was someone else using his phone, but I think it should definitely be someone other than Alexander, who had already been caught with the drugs.

Olaga integritetsintrång (unlawful breach of privacy): August

A person who intrudes into the private life of another person by disseminating: 1. an image of or other information about a person’s sexual life; (...) 4. an image of a person in a very vulnerable situation; or 5. an image of a person’s wholly or partially naked body is, if the dissemination is liable to result in serious damage to the person whom the image or information concerns, guilty of unlawful breach of privacy (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 6c)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 2 years for normal severity, prison from 6 months to 4 years for gross offences.

This is the revenge porn clause. In reality, sadly few cases lead to a conviction; for example in 2021, only 27 out of 1876 cases. The perpetrator can always claim their device/account was hacked, for example, and it’s hard to disprove that. We’ll see if Sara’s testimony and August having admitted his guilt to Wilhelm are enough.

Förtal (defamation): August

A person who identifies someone as being a criminal or as having a reprehensible way of life, or otherwise provides information liable to expose that person to the contempt of others is guilty of defamation (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 5, Section 1)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines for normal severity, fines or prison up to 2 years for gross offences.

Note that defamation does not have to be untrue in Sweden! It’s the ‘exposing that person to contempt’ that matters. However, if the defendant can show that the information was true and they were a) obliged to make this kind of statement or b) it was “otherwise justifiable to provide information about the matter”, they are not held responsible. August’s lawyer would probably argue that spreading the video of Wille was a matter of national importance.

A note on aggravating or special circumstances:

Both unlawful invasion of privacy and defamation can be considered gross if the information or image or the method of dissemination was liable to result in serious damage. This bumps up the potential consequences.

Normally, charges can only be brought for the above crimes by the injured party. However, the prosecutor could also choose to bring charges on their own in cases where public interest calls for it. The same goes for defamation if the injured party is under 18 or reports the crime in connection with another investigation, and public interest calls for prosecution. In this case, it doesn’t matter if the injured party wants the case to be pursued or not. So in my view, any potential resolution where Simon and/or Wille decide not to pursue these crimes should be written very carefully to exclude public prosecution.

There’s also another interesting angle that I haven’t seen thrown around much. It was first brought to my attention by a friend on ao3, and I can’t believe it’s still a thing in 21st century Sweden, but it is.

Högmålsbrott (treasonable offences): August

A person who commits an offence referred to in Chapters 3–5 that involves abuse of the King or another member of the Royal House, or of a person discharging the duties of the Head of State as regent, may be sentenced to imprisonment for at most four years if the offence can otherwise result in imprisonment for at most six months, and for at most six years if the offence can otherwise result in imprisonment for more than six months but at most four years. (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 18, Section 2)

Yes, really. Wille being one of the injured parties could complicate things for August when it comes to the above crimes, because they belong to chapters 4 & 5. He’s not actually going to get six years in prison for gross defamation, that’s just the maximum for adults, but it’s an interesting angle and a potential aggravating factor.

Next up, the elephant in the room.

CP: August

I don’t think I need to describe what this means; you can look it up in Chapter 16, Sections 10a and 10b. I’m not going to write it out so this post doesn’t get flagged.

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences. Prison up to 2 years for normal severity.

Rickard did say that this could land August in prison, but I am highly sceptical. For comparison, consider this case, where an 18-yo who had 540 images in his possession, 98 of those particularly graphic, was only sentenced to 60 hours of youth community service, despite having disseminated some material on social media on two occasions. Or this one, where an 18-yo who was in possession of a video sent to him via SnapChat for a few months, was sentenced to 45 hours of the same - although he was 17 at the time of the crime.

August was 18, but on the other hand, the video he made and disseminated was short, not very graphic, and meant to defame the people in it rather than arouse those who view it. By law, the age and developmental gap between the victim(s) and perpetrator must also be taken into consideration, and as we know, it’s only two years. I’m inclined to think August is only looking at a minor offence - if charges are even brought at all.

So, the fandom should probably prepare for a more lenient sentence than many are hoping for! Ironically enough, the opposite is true for the next crime, which also applies to Simon and, to a lesser degree, Wille.

Narkotikabrott (narcotics offence): August, Simon, Wilhelm

Any person who unlawfully 1. transfers narcotics, 2. manufactures narcotics intended for misuse, 3. acquires narcotics for the purpose of transfer, 4. procures, processes, packages, transports, keeps or in some other similar way handles narcotics which are not intended for personal use, 5. offers narcotics for sale, keeps or conveys payment for narcotics, mediates contacts between seller and purchaser or takes any other such measure, if the procedure is designed to promote narcotics traffic, or 6. possesses, uses or otherwise handles narcotics shall, if he has acted wilfully, be sentenced for a narcotic drug offence (Penal Law on Narcotics, Section 1)

Scale of punishment for adults: prison up to 3 years for normal severity. Fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences.

Swedish law is strict on narcotics crimes. Both Simon and August are guilty of several of the above, while Wille is only guilty of use. Wille’s offence would be considered minor, and the punishment might even be waived. However, I think it’s quite likely Simon and August might be looking at normal severity, and Rickard would probably advise August against bringing it up just to spite Simon.

If August went against that advice or the matter came out another way, he would probably get a harsher sentence than Simon on account of his age - although he could provide mitigating circumstances for the selling by saying that Simon coerced him...

In any case, Simon wouldn’t get off with a slap on the wrist either. He sold drugs on two separate occasions - ADHD drugs (which are amphetamine derivatives) and possibly also strong painkillers. Micke’s back pain was specifically mentioned in S1, we saw Simon steal Tramadol (which is an opioid) when he first got pills for August, and there was clearly more in that bag than just the ADHD meds. Amphetamine derivatives and opioids are specifically classified as narcotic drugs due to their potential for misuse, even if the drugs in question (Tramadol and lisdexamfetamine) aren’t as bad as some others.

Furthermore, Simon also committed:

Stöld (theft): Simon

Pretty self-explanatory. Chapter 8, Section 1 of the Criminal Code.

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences, prison up to 2 years for normal severity, prison from 6 months to 6 years for gross offences.

It’s hard to say what the severity would be. On the one hand, it was just a few boxes and bottles of pills, and the value of the stolen goods should generally be over 1000 kronor to even be considered normal severity (case from 2009). On the other hand, committing theft as part of “criminal activities conducted systematically” is an aggravating circumstance. But I think the prosecutor would be lenient with a 16-yo like Simon and just focus on the narcotics crime (åtalsunderlåtelse for the theft).

Let’s proceed to the last crime, which is something I haven’t really seen a lot of people mention.

Olaga hot (unlawful threat): Wilhelm

A person who threatens another person with a criminal act in a manner that is liable to occasion serious fear in the person threatened for the safety of their own or someone else’s person, property, liberty or peace is guilty of making an unlawful threat (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 5)

Scale of punishment for adults: prison from 9 months to 4 years for gross offences. Fines or prison up to 1 year for normal severity.

It’s highly unlikely that Wille’s shotgun waving would come out unless someone accidentally let it slip when questioned about the other offences. So the risk is slim, but I think it still deserves to be included, because an unlawful threat usually becomes a gross offence when a weapon is used. It’s also a publically prosecutable offence, which means August wouldn’t have the power to drop the charges. Note that the ‘treasonable offences’ clause doesn’t apply, because August has not officially been appointed as next in line by Parliament.

Like I said, I don’t think there’s any reason for August to sour his relationship with the Crown by dropping Wilhelm in it. I just wanted to include the threat to be thorough and show how much of a mess this could theoretically become.

Phew, that’s all of them! Thank you so much for reading all this way!

I guess the main point I wanted to make with this marathon post was that I really, really hope the criminal justice side is handled realistically in S3 now that a police investigation probably can’t be avoided. We shouldn’t expect anyone to be locked up with the key thrown away, due to the young age of everyone involved and the leniency built into the system. Also, the severest consequences could well come from the crimes that don’t sound as serious on the surface, such as the drug stuff - and Wille being one of the injured parties. (Or the potentially gross unlawful threat, but I doubt that’s going to come out.)

I’m intrigued to see what Lisa and co have in store for us, because they have a very real chance to highlight some interesting questions here.

Which (if any) of the potential crimes will August, who can liquidate enough money to pay for a great legal team, actually get punished for? Will he get off with fines and maybe some youth community service? Will the Alexander defence actually work when it really shouldn’t? Will social services get involved and maybe make August get some help for his issues? How will his social standing be affected when people learn it was him behind the video? Will the consequences finally teach him some accountability (which he definitely hasn’t learned growing up; see my analysis post about his upbringing and background)?

How about Simon? Can he avoid getting harshly punished for his dealing? How will social services treat him and his family if they get involved? Will his future and education be affected? Will he feel victimised again when the video matter is investigated (which could involve more publicity due to Wille’s involvement)? Could Micke try to claim he forced Simon to carry the drugs and sell them, to provide mitigating circumstances (and would Simon let his estranged dad risk imprisonment for him)?

And finally, is it fair that Wille being one of the injured parties could make the crimes more severe and extract “more justice”? Even though Simon was the one who couldn’t just deny being on the video to escape the negative consequences?

We shall see.

#young royals #young royals season three #young royals season 3 #yr s3 #young royals season 3 predictions #young royals predictions #young royals speculations #young royals analysis #young royals meta #criminal justice in sweden #swedish justice system #swedish law

[aromanticbuck]

Crochet Commissions!

For those who don't know me, I'm Alex (she/they), and I started the year off with Covid. Because I had to take two weeks off work, I'm really hurting for money right now, so I'm opening up a limited number of slots for crochet commissions to try to fill in that financial gap.

ALL of the materials I use are machine washer/dryer safe

Pictures of my recent work and prices are below. Including: stuffed animals, dice bags, holiday stockings, blankets. As well as: shipping info, custom request info.

For further questions or to request a commission: message me here or email me at [email protected]

When I did my poll, most people voted for stuffed animals, and I recently finished a few that I can show my skills with. The blue penguin is my latest finished piece, with the purple penguin the first thing I ever crocheted side-by-side for comparison of how much I've learned in the last ~7 months. The mouse is technically unfinished because the eyes aren't embroidered yet, but I made it in about a day and a half, for timeline purposes.

I also just finished the above dice bag octopus about an hour ago for my roommate, which took about three hours of non-stop work (I turned on a movie and got through the stitches pretty quick). I can make them in any color you want, with either the plastic safety eyes or embroidered eyes. Most of these can be entirely customizable, just let me know what you're thinking and I'll see what I can do!

Dice bags: $10 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Stuffed animals: $15 + $5 domestic (US) shipping optional crinkle filling (washer/dryer safe): + $2 (stuffed animals only)

10 slots total (4 REMAINING)

I don't have any pictures of any of the hats or scarves I've made because it's been a few years, but I made some stockings for the apartment for Christmas last month, and that's one of my most recent projects. The green one was the last one I made, and probably the most accurate to what my capabilities are now.

If you'd like a stocking for Christmas 2024, let me know! I have an unlimited number of slots for them as the holiday is far enough away that the time crunch isn't so rough.

Hats: $20 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Scarves: $30 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Holiday stocking: $24 + $5 domestic (US) shipping

5 total wearable (hats/scarves) slots

The least popular item in my poll was the blankets, which I understand. And I'm only going to open one slot for them at a time because they take so long and so much yarn to make. The wave pattern (both blankets pictured above) is my favorite to do, but I have patterns for most simple designs, or I can likely easily google it and put it together for you. Prices are based on the time and materials these take to make, but because they're so much more expensive than the smaller items above, domestic (US) shipping is free.

Baby blanket (top left): $50 Throw blanket/afghan: $100 Full size (length shown in bottom picture): $200

1 blanket slot (0 REMAINING)

Custom requests:

If there's a pattern you've found on Etsy/Pinterest/etc that you want made, contact me by using the contact information above. We can discuss prices or my ability to accomplish that for you. ***patterns must be CROCHET patterns as I do not knit (yet)*** 5 custom slots total

International shipping:

Let me know when you request a commission where you are located, as shipping prices vary wildly from country to country. I'll go over the actual cost with you before you commit to the commission and make sure the price works for both of us.

Current open slots:

Stuffed animals and dice bags: 1. [FILLED] 2. [FILLED] 3. [FILLED] 4. [FILLED] 5. [FILLED] 6. [FILLED] 7. [OPEN] 8. [OPEN] 9. [OPEN] 10. [OPEN]

Wearables: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

Stockings: [NO LIMIT]

Blankets: 1. [FILLED]

Custom requests: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

#crochet #commissions #crochet commission #crochet commissions #yarnworks #yarncrafts #yarn craft #yarn work #crochet art #crochet stuffed animals #crochet dice bag #crochet blanket

[meanbossart]

A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)

It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!

{MORE UNDER THE CUT]

HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻

I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.

As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!

I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.

Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!

Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.

My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.

Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!

I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.

In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man

Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol

That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.

JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.

Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.

#ask compilation

[random-fandom-ramble]

Is Redfeather Etharis mother?

I just read the new short story about Rayla in Scumport, where we were introduced to this wonderful new MILF character, Redfeather:

Some things we learned about her:

She’s a moonshadow elf

She has matted messy hair

She has pale markings and likely has a darker complexion (“like shining leather”)

She was ghosted about 15+ years ago

She doesn’t regret the thing(s) she was ghosted for

Now 15+ years ago doesn’t place her at any important events that we know of yet. Rayla would’ve been 0-2 years old at the time, so it probably doesn’t connect to her. The whole ordeal with Sarai getting killed by Avizandum happened about 10-12 years prior, so it couldn’t be connected to that.

But you know who would’ve been in a very interesting age back then?

Ethari and Runaan

Ethari and Runaan were once referred to as “uncle-ish” age, which the show runners have clarified means somewhere between 30-35 years old. That means Ethari and Runaan would’ve been 15-20 years old at the time when Redfeather got ghosted by her village. And as we all know, 15-20 is the perfect age for fictional characters to get traumatized✨

One theory I had was that she was somehow involved with the assassins (target? Former assassin? Who knows) and that her crime, which somehow affected a younger Runaan, got her ghosted. But that is a theory for another time.

What caught my attention first was the specifics of her description.

Pale markings and “leather colored”(darker) skin

When it comes to the colors of markings, moonshadow elves tend to have very deep or even dark blue/purple markings. Ethari is the only moonshadow elf we’ve encountered till now who has significantly lighter, or paler, lavender colored markings amongst moonshadow elves.

This means that Redfeather having specifically PALE markings would be significant, if the paleness is referring to the color.

Another point is the eyes

While Redfeathers and Etharis face’s aren’t THAT similar, the eyes very much ARE

Look at that shape! Look at the lashes! Look at the curved lower lids! If this doesn’t mean anything, then this would be one heck of a coincidence for eyes to be drawn THAT similarly.

Another reason I like this theory isn’t just because of looks and appearances, but also because it could explain a bit about Etharis behavior regarding ghosting family members and strong feelings about abandonment.

See, when Rayla first comes back to the Silvergrove, one of the first things he says to is:

“They’re gone Rayla. He’s gone. Because you abandoned them.”

And later on, when he briefly lifted the ghosting spell to talk to Rayla, he says again:

“But I don’t understand, how could you abandon them like that?”

On a similar note, in the novel the bloodmoon huntress, when Runaan realizes that Kim’Dael is out there, there isn’t even a question about wether or not Ethari is coming along; he said right away “I’m coming with you”. He was NOT gonna stay- or be left behind. It’s like he has some very deep rooted issues surrounding abandonment, and being left behind. Maybe because his mother had to leave him when he was young? Or maybe pertaining to the crime she committed, where she left someone behind and surrendered them to their doom? Who knows…

And yet, for someone who has such strong feelings about someone being left behind, he was very quick to ghost Rayla. Yes he regrets it, and yes it was a decision made with feelings and grief and not his sound and sensible mind. But regardless of how much he regrets it now, he still ghosted her for “abandoning her team (and Runaan)”, and he seemed very sure of that choice at first.

If we looked at him as a regular person, a godfather who loved and cherished his goddaughter, and had raised her since the age of 8, this behavior doesn’t make any sense!

But if we look at him as someone who’s had to do it before, someone who had to learn long ago that family ties don’t excuse crimes, and that sometimes you need to cut out and ghost those closest to you - like say, your own mother-, well then it makes sense why he was able to do that to his goddaughter, even if he regretted it later…

——

And a final point close this whole theory off, though it is more of a meta textual point:

Ethari rarely gets talked about by the creators of the show. He was maybe mentioned here and there in the past, and on Twitter Aaron Ehazs promised that they hadn’t forgotten about Ruthari. So any mention of him that actually includes his name and something other than „he’s Runaans husband/Raylas substitute dad“ is pretty special and rare to find outside of the graphic novel Bloodmoon huntress . But in this new short story, he wasn’t just mentioned by name; he was specifically described along with his profession, his crafting.

And the first time that Ethari gets mentioned again outside of the bloodmoon huntress is when a new Moonshadow elf with eyes almost identical to his gets introduced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✨Thanks for reading!✨

Feel free to add your own thoughts to this theory in the comments or in reblogs!

@beautifulterriblequeen @sunstone-nerding @hoothalcyon @legend-of-the-fandoms @anybody-else-who-wants-to-join-the-fun

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp theory #tdp headcanons #tdp ethari #tdp Redfeather #tdp season 5 #tdp s5 #tdp spoilers #tdp meta #tdp angst ✨ #tdp speculation #tdp rayla #tdp runaan

[fxiryheiize]

Astrocartography Observations Part Two: Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.

(Disclaimer: A lot of Astrologers use different orbs of measurements for Astrocartography. My limit is 200 km because I have seen lines that have influences up to that point, and depending on the planet, sometimes more.)

Planets:

Sun: Fame, Happiness, Vitality, Children.

Moon: Home, Roots, Family, Nostalgia.

Venus: Love, Beauty, Luxury, Desires.

Mercury: Lower Education, Communication, Knowledge, Friendships.

Mars: Passions, Action, Pain, Anger.

Jupiter: Luck, Higher Education, Religion, Beliefs.

Saturn: Karma, Restrictions, Discipline, Commitments, Delays

Uranus: Unpredictability, Innovation, Rebellion, Technology, Humanitarian ideals

Neptune: Illusions, Dreams, Spirituality, Intuition, Fame, Popularity.

Pluto: Destruction, Transformations, Deaths and Rebirths.

Where your Pluto lines are running through are places where you could experience the most profound transformations in your life. Places where you can discover more about yourself thus leading to enlightenment. However, being at these lines does not come without a price. Many fundamental teachings of Pluto will be present here (Death, Rebirth, Destruction, etc.) I'd also like to add that when Pluto takes, it always gives something else in return.

☆ Aaliyah Haughton has her Pluto MC line running through Los Angeles. Robert Sylvester Kelly was her executive producer at the time she released her 1994 debut album "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number". It was then that the rumors began to circulate that 15 year old Aaliyah had married her then 27 year old executive producer who named her album and became the driving influence in her success and her music career. Los Angeles (Hollywood) = Fame, MC = Career, Pluto = Transformations.

☆ Ryan Reynolds has his Pluto AS line running through Brazil where he was almost crushed by a falling barrier during a fan event due to it being overcrowded with people. Interestingly enough, Reynolds has his Mercury MC line (which rules groups of people as well as social events) squaring this line. AS = You, Pluto = Destruction.

☆ Blake Lively has her Pluto IC line running through Los Angeles where she was raised. Blake Lively secure her first real movie role (that just so happened to become a huge hit) after her older brother called a casting director and asked them to hire Lively who had already had a ton of experience with acting, having a talent scout mother and director father. Pluto = Transformations, IC = Family, Home, Roots.

Where your Saturn lines are running through are places where you could experience or be subject to delays and restrictions. I've also noticed that where these lines cross are places where you could make serious commitments and decisions; good or bad.

☆ David Beckham has his Saturn DC line running through Toronto. After injuring his ankle, Beckham made the decision to sit out what according to MLS Soccer, "would've been Beckham's first official league game, shown to a national TV audience on ESPN2 and played in a stadium full of Toronto fans that are already considered the most rabid in the league."

☆ Blake Lively has her Saturn IC line running through South Carolina which is where she married Ryan Reynolds. Saturn = Commitments, IC = Home, Family, Foundations.

☆ Catherine Zeta Jones has her Saturn DC line running through New York which is where she married Michael Douglas. Saturn = Commitment, DC = Partnerships, Relationships.

☆ Selena Quintanilla's Saturn IC line runs through Mexico and she is Mexican. Although she became the biggest Mexican-American music artist in her 20's, when she was younger she had no connection to her Mexican ancestry (IC). She had to learn about her ancestry, AND learn Spanish before she was able to be labeled a Mexican American music artist. (Saturn represents restrictions and delays).

Where your Neptune lines are running through are places where you could experience or be subject to idolization, and extreme popularity or fame. Having it running through the United States can signify global fame.

☆ Gigi Hadid has her Neptune MC line running through Los Angeles where she gained fame from being a model.

☆ Kendall Jenner has her Neptune MC line running through the middle of the United States and she is famous for not only modeling, but being a social media influencer, as well as being a member of one of the most popular families in America; The Kardashian-Jenners.

☆ Ariana Grande has her Neptune MC line running through the United Kingdom which is one of her top countries in terms of popularity.

☆ Elvis Presley has his Neptune MC line running through America. He has a global amount of fame from being a famous musician, with America being his strongest country with the most listeners. Additionally, he also has his Neptune DC line running through London which is his second strongest country in terms of streams and listeners.

☆ Twice's Mina has her Neptune IC running through Japan which is her hometown as well as the location of her biggest fan base.

Where your Uranus lines run through are placed where you could be part of or cause a major change,places where you experience unpredictable and shocking situations. It can also represent places where you can take up Humanitarian beliefs and concepts.

☆ Tom Hanks has his Uranus MC line running through North Carolina. During the pandemic a small bookstore was in danger of shutting down permanently due to the lack of business. After Tom Hanks gave the store a shoutout on "The Late Show" and a million dollar ad was given to the store, business for the bookstore skyrocketed and they were able to stay open at least through the summer.

☆ Ariana Grande has her Uranus MC line to the East of Manchester where there was, sadly, an unexpected fatal incident during one of her concerts. Interestingly enough, she also has her Chiron AC line squaring this line.

☆ Bella Hadid has her Uranus AS line running through India. In 2022 she slammed India for their blatant Islamophobia regarding the hijab row. She went on to say that she stands in solidarity with Muslim women.

#fxiryspeaks #astrology #astro community #astro notes #astroblr

[chamonabis]

Boss bitch 👀

Tell a little about their story. I don't know if anyone would be interested in reading it, but I've wanted to write it for a long time 🥹)

With my OuroAU.

OuroTiger is the boss. He once had a wife, Tomoe. He is cruel, sarcastic and likes to tease and torment his subordinates (can be called S). Even so, he still loved his ex-wife very much, but once his secret was discovered by her, Tomoe committed suicide (I love Tomoe, but sorry😭).

When OuroTiger was 23 years old, both husband and wife adopted a child, Barnaby (current OuroBunny), at that time the boy lost his parents (harmed by Ouroboros), 7 years old.

Gradually growing up, understanding more and knowing "papa's" secret, at the age of 11, Barnaby intentionally let "mom" know "papa's" secret and she was sick, depressed and committed suicide. Barnaby is a bit cruel at this stage, he is a child who has just learned shocking news and is hated, harboring hatred and wanting revenge. OuroTiger knows, hates Barnaby but it's not time to kill him yet (It's beneficial for him because Barnaby have the same NEXT ability as OuroTiger), he orders Maverick to brainwash him, train Barnaby to become a bodyguard.

As he grew older, OuroBunny became more quiet and disliked the old man (Because he started to torture him and didn't love him like before Tomoe died), no longer called "papa", and began working under boss OuroTiger.

OuroTiger also had a painful time losing his wife, then still had to get back up, became more and more crazy and tortured his "son" more, OuroBunny also disliked him, hated him openly but still had to obey his boss's orders. (He's always trying to find out the cause of his biological parents' death, but it's unclear because Maverick brainwashed him.)

Gradually doubting, but not being certain, OuroBunny began to have headaches and chaotic memories. Always by OuroTiger's side, He learns about his past again. As the boss, OuroTiger knew, but still pretended to ignore it, want to see good drama. Gradually working with OuroTiger, OuroBunny got used to standing behind and supporting him and secretly watching him closely, gradually learning many secrets about the death of his biological parents, hatred arose but it was not time to kill OuroTiger (because he never made it all clear and OuroBunny is still suffering from chaotic memories).

At the same time, another feeling sprouted in OuroBunny's heart for the "good father that year" who saved him is still there now (Now covered by hatred).

Side

OuroTiger: black eyes, black hair, darker skin than Tiger (off), he wears glasses because works a lot at the hospital.

OuroBunny: green eyes, blonde hair, already white skin because he only lives hidden in the darkness, no nearsightedness, 5cm taller than boss

On the surface, Kotetsu is very gentle and kind, has a job at the hospital, but cannot save his wife.

Barnaby, with his biological parents' love of robotics, began to learn and when he grew up, he always liked to be alone with the machines. He's a genius, created his first robot at age 15, At the age of 20, he created the first humanoid robot. No matter how much he hated his boss, he unconsciously created a robot with the appearance of OuroTiger, called H-01.

The 23-year-old OuroTiger has been a boss for 2 years, the youngest boss in Ouroboros history.

Kotetsu married Tomoe at the age of 21, Tomoe was in Kotetsu's high school class.

Tomoe was in poor health, and when she was pregnant with her first child, she lost this child (at the age of 22), after which Kotetsu offered to adopt Barnaby as their son. Then 4 years later, she learned that her husband had done many evil things, depression caused her to commit suicide.

Since being brought back by Kotetsu, Barnaby has loved him very much. Although he doesn't know what his feelings are, Barnaby really wants to keep the gentle and funny Kotetsu as his own, not wanting to lose him.

Now,

OuroTiger is 16 years older than OuroBunny.

OuroTiger is 40 years old (3 years older than Tiger)

OuroBunny is 24 years old (2 years younger than Bunny)

#tiger and bunny #taibani #t&b #tnb #barnaby brooks jr #kotetsu t. kaburagi #t&b2 #tnb2 #fanart #my art #digital art #ouroboros barnaby #ouroboros tiger #OuroAU #barnaby x kotetsu

[exoticabl4]

How to actually stick to your habits ?

Hello, my loves. This post will be, as you've read it in the title, about how to stay committed to your habits. So without further ado, let's start.

1. Don't start off too strong.

You've got to know that your brain always wants your safety and your comfort. Your old habits provided you with both of these, even if they were unhealthy, and even if the pleasure was very short and temporary. Therefore, it is very normal that your brain will keep dwelling in your old habits and routines. So never start off too strong, otherwise it'll be very hard for you to stay committed. What I recommend doing, is to identify 8 habits that will highly benefit you, and get you closer to your goals. Instead of adding those 8 habits to your day all at once since day one, you're going to add 2 habits a week. Focus on progress, rather than perfection. At the end of your first month, you'll find yourself with 8 new habits. Give yourself the time to get used to each habit, so about a week or more (depending on how hard the habit is).

And before you come to me, I know that the average duration to implement a habit in your life is 21 days, but the goal here is not to be used to it at a 100%, the goal is to lessen the unfamiliarity, so that the brain can stop dwelling in the old habits.

2. Focus on the end-goal.

Sometimes, we tend to focus on how hard the task/habit is, rather than the end-goal that will result from the consistency of the habit. Therefore, try to remind yourself of the end-goal. My experience with this has been IMMACULATE. To focus on the end-goal, I make Pinterest boards. Personally, studying and reviewing for exams is something that I absolutely dread, so in order to get myself to enjoy it or make it more bearable, i made a Pinterest board with the lifestyle i wanna have in my early 20s. So it contains pics of my dream uni, the country i wanna be living in, the life i wanna be leading. Whenever i feel too lazy or demotivated to study or review stuff, i go back to my Pinterest board to remind myself of my end-goal. And when I tell you that each time i do this, i get the best grade of my class, and when i really put my mind into it, i get the best grade of my whole promotion.

3. Realize how simple your task is with this technique.

Many times, we don't see the habit for what it is, but rather for some kind of absolutely dreadful and unbearable task that's impossible to achieve. So what I do to simplify it, is that i write down in my notes what my most productive day would look like, and compared to the tasks that I set to myself, i start to view that as some really simple stuff. To give you an idea of how it works, I'll do what i do best : give an example.

I wanna learn Spanish, last year i was very consistent with it, but the last few months, I really procrastinated and got lazier, like, even spending my daily 15 minutes of Duolingo seemed like a torture, so i decided to use this technique. I wrote down what my ideal spanish learning session was, and it kind of looked like this :

45 minutes of Duolingo

Learning 3 new pages of vocabulary from my notebook

Using each newly learned word in a sentence

Do a conjugation lesson/ learn the conjugation of an irregular verb

Listen to a short story in Spanish, and write down new and unfamiliar vocabulary

Next to this routine, 15 minutes on Duolingo looked very simple and easy, even too little, and now it is wayy easier for me to stick to habits.

4. Always have an alternative.

You got me there, we all have our bad days, low-energy days, and it is very hard, if not impossible, to get anything done on these days. That's why you should give each of your habits an alternative. Let's say you wanted to workout an hour a day, but you came back home absolutely exhausted. Instead of the intense 1 hour workout, have a less intense and easier alternative for it, or maybe a shorter one, or you could go for a walk instead, after all, the end goal is to move your body, you do you, you know what works best for you.

That was all for today's post, hope it helped. Bye, my loves 💗

#self healing #affirm #self concept #summer #glowingskin #glow up #confidence #dream life #wonyoung #affirmations #habits #glowing up #tips #advice #program #self love

[hostilemuppet]

Saw the JD & Floyd post and was about to say “Maybe he should” but then it just made me sad. Like damn he cares about his family to the detriment of himself, what does that say about his relationship with Creek. I think I remember you writing something about Floyd realizing he’s genuinely fallen in love with him.

you want me to show how much thought ive put into tdau floyd? the funny cokehead with commitment issues? the guy who posts thirst traps out of spite? okay (keep in mind that most of this is just what *I* think and hasnt been cleared with alex, but when i write for floyd its genuinely what i consider in the back of my mind)

i think he was 13 y/o when he went out on his own (1999), began seeing the rest of the troll tree for himself, until he finally escaped on his own at around 15 (2001), a year before the entire tribe was evacuated (2002). he hitch hiked a bit and got to see a bunch of tribes but he only really got to see techno reef and volcano rock city, staying in vrc a lot longer (LONG before barb was in power and turned rocks view on pop from "they fucked up a really long time ago but were safe from them now" to "we need to colonise them back") and discovering a lot about himself in the process

he turned 18 (2004) and, as most ex-child stars do, immediately went IN on hard drugs and sex with strangers, as if thats the test for proving your adulthood. and he had a good time! he spent most of his life drugged to the gills and unable to look himself in the mirror the rare moments he was sober, but, yknow. details. then he got bored. and he went travelling again

at the age of 20 (2006) he left troll kingdom entirely. obviously he stayed CLEAR of bergen town (and silently prayed to whatever god pop trolls typically believe in that his family were safe and undigested). but he saw all sorts of places! places we havent seen yet, with species we havent seen yet, of extremely varying sizes! hell, he mightve met a species or two that are smaller than trolls! imagine that. but spending years travelling, it gets lonely. he never got to connect with anyone. hell, he never even had a real boyfriend! the most he had was that situationship he had that lasted 5 weeks before he got ghosted when that techno troll got back with his girlfriend. (its okay though, he channels his pain into his art, and that was one became his most popular song on bandcamp by a significant margin!)

at 27 years old (2013) he arrived in mount rageous. sure, they were huge, and he was terrified of being eaten, obviously. but they didnt want to eat him! they thought he was cute. and, he wont lie, he liked the attention. he became a novelty, that tiny little creature with his even tinier guitar, who apparently built up such a tolerance he can handle mount rageon drugs. imagine doing blow with stewert little. they loved him, as entertainment. he still didnt have anyone who loved him as a person, but at that point he was willing to settle.

when hes 36 (2023) he gets kidnapped by velvet & veneer, and of course no one thought to look for him. you wouldnt notice if the mouse in your house suddenly went missing. at most youd think someone you live with finally took care of it, and youd move on with your life.

the events of the movie happen, hes reunited with his siblings, he actually feels valued as a person again, AND to top it all off, those two months in the bottle did WONDERS for detoxing. next time he tries pop troll coke he actually feels a buzz! he never thought hed see the day!

brozone reunite, we see the early days of their career carry out in the au. floyd feels like hes on top of the world. hes got his family back, hes back in pop village (albeit, its a different pop village than he knew. hell, they used to all it troll village back then!) hes releasing actual music again, and not just busking for tips (its okay he didnt need much, he rented out a mouse hole for cheap). but he wants an actual connection. he wants a relationship. but hes never actually had that! hes never even felt respected by a potential partner! so he goes back to random hookups. and, yknow, its fun, he guesses. but he wants more

the first troll who seems to actually take interest in him as anything more than a hot piece of ass or "that guy from brozone" rocks his world. hes ashamed to admit that after knowing the guy for 3 hours he already thought about spending the rest of his life with him. he just wasnt used to being spoken to like a person by anyone other than immediate family members! its okay though, he couldnt scare him off, because he was being paid to be there, and after recording himself getting in floyds pants (the only way he knows how to show affection at this point) it was all over the internet

so, you know, obviously floyd wasnt doing great. hes gotten good at hiding his feelings (not like anyone really cares about them anyway) but he was clearly struggling. he did what he does best, and turned it into a joke, so maybe itd hurt a little less. he probably made it worse, but at least he was numb now. he goes back to hookups, deciding hell never have an actual boyfriend, hell never get married, and hes okay with that. well, hes clearly not, but its not like anyone ever asked, so he has to deal.

then he meets creek. and at this point hes not stupid. hes not that naive little kid anymore, and when he wakes up the next morning and realises his newest one night stand was that guy, the asshole, the one who everyone hates, he knows hes the butt of the joke, again. theres probably a camera, again. he leaves before creek wakes up.

but then he meets him again, a few days later. and creek says how much of a shame it is he never got his digits. and floyd doesnt know what to make of this. but he knows he shouldnt trust him. he heard everything riff said about him, everything BRANCH said about him. he knows every one of creeks crimes. but maybe he just wants to have some fun, yknow? everyones always fucking with him, maybe he wants to play around sometime. show the world hes not some little helpless doll.

what follows is about a year and a half of gay chicken on expert mode. creek pretends to love floyd. floyd pretends he doesnt know creeks pretending. floyd feels in control, almost. he gets comfortable. he refuses to believe its love, how could it be love? theyre awful to each other. but its, technically, his first real relationship. he tries not to think about it.

maybe encouraging creek to propose was a little more than seeing how far he can push him before he snaps. maybe he wanted to prove that hes worth it, even if the other guy wasnt. maybe he genuinely cried when he got angelinas egg, even if hed rather die than let creek see him express genuine emotions. he knows hes the sensitive one, but hes more than brozone. hes a person. a person that people dont ever seem to want to know.

then he realises. hes not the only one whos gotten comfortable. creek looks... not happy, exactly. but content. and floyd thinks thats terrifying. its too far, thats not how any of this was supposed to work. it was REVENGE. floyd was fucking with him, because creek was fucking with him first! now hes married, hes MARRIED, with KIDS, TWINS! THAT HE NAMED! and he loves them! and he loves creek! and creek loves him! hes gonna be sick. he cant do this. he cant be here. he lives in a mansion but its suffocating him. he leaves. he divorces creek.

hes miserable again. jd doesnt notice bc hes "the sensitive one", and his other brothers dont know how to bring it up without making it worse. branch is the only one who asks how hes holding up, but he just says hes fine, hell bounce back. he doesnt bounce back

when he meets creek again, he wants to cry. he wants to get on his hands and knees and beg him to take him back, but he has a LITTLE bit of self respect left. when he finds out creek missed him too its more than he can take. when they get drunk, and floyd forces jd to re-marry them, floyd actually feels like a person. a broken person, who healed in a creek-shaped mould, but a person nonetheless. and maybe thats all he can ask for

#ask #tdau #yeah ik i always insist its a comedy au. okay. there has to be a bit of bitterness so you can taste the sweetness of the comedy

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Quarterfinals, Match 4

expand to see all propaganda received! (enormous wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Eddie Vedder:

"He's just a lil' guy. I want to pick him up and put him in my pocket and take him with me everywhere."

"Men peaked in 1992 when Eddie Vedder was on MTV Unplugged and just looked as pretty as can be. No one will ever top that."

"facial structure sculpted by the gods"

"that scene in singles where he’s just staring straight into the camera when they’re watching that bee documentary or whatever GOD"

"He's fun-sized and therefore easy to yeet into his natural environment of The Rafters. His height-to-hair-length ratio makes him the Cousin Itt of the final four: the party doesn't really kick off until he shows up. No amount of unhinged propaganda can be more unhinged than the little gremlin himself but by God it's worth a try."

"I want Eddie Vedder to spit in my mouth"

"I have no idea what the fuck he's saying literally ever and that's kinda hot I think"

"holy FUCK i want to i want to claw his eyes out and put them in a blender until they’re the consistency of mochi that’s been left out for like 10-15 minutes"

"icon of wet kittens you take home in a box everywhere. imagine scooping him up and carrying him away."

"listen to daughter by pearl jam like uh wow"

"Just a beautiful little guy. I love how expressive, emotive, intense, and passionate he is. The way he can make me weep or give me the chills with just his voice and a guitar. And how he (and the rest of Pearl Jam) has always been so outspoken and hands-on about numerous social and environmental issues and just generally being a force for positivity and progress. This man stage-climbed right into my heart <3"

"He has a really cute butt, like the peach emoji"

#most attractive 90s musician #poll #polls #tracy chapman #eddie vedder #pearl jam #temple of the dog #90s music #tournament

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 15

“They See Right Through Me”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: thank you for your patience as I took the time to write this for y’all. This was not only the longest chapter I have written, this was also the hardest, and emotionally challenging one thus far. I am extremely proud of how this has turned out. Thank you for reading ♡

Summary: Save who you can save Joel.

~word count: 11.7k~

Warnings: age gap (o/c is in her early 30’s Joel is in his 50’s) established relationship, angst, dark! Joel, mean! Joel. You’re gonna hate him by the end of this chapter! Joel, canon typical violence, death of a major character, trauma, arguments, gaslighting, PTSD, anger, rage, heart break, triggering themes that may be disturbing for some viewers. Please proceed with caution and read the warnings. (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“The Archer” By Taylor Swift

“You Are My Sunshine” by The Civil Wars

“Godspeed” By Frank Ocean

“Same Old Same Old” by The Civil Wars

“take a moment to breathe” by normal the kid

“My Cell” The Lumineers

“Paper Houses” by Niall Horan

“Wait” by M83

“Save Yourself” by KALEO

“It’ll All Work Out” by Phoebe Bridgers

Summer, 2023 : 5 Miles outside the QZ

“From this point forward, the three of us have to actively remember that Ellie is just a kid.” You spoke, sitting along an old crate in the abandoned building you, Joel, and Tess had found to take cover from the storm. Ellie was asleep, in the middle of the room. She used her backpack as a pillow, under a bed of moss.

Joel scoffed alongside you. His hand was still bloodied and bruised up. The thin skin of his knuckles were torn, shredded, and you were doing your best to clean out any debris embedded in the flesh. “She ain’t just a kid. She’s fuckin’ cargo to us.” He gritted out. He could feel the muscles, and tendons in his hand twitching. He had definitely broken it from the amount of times his fist made contact with the FEDRA soldiers face.

“Does she fucking look like cargo to you Joel? That’s a kid who’s life just got drastically turned upside down in a matter of hours. All she’s clearly known is Marlene, and the fireflies, and now 3 strangers.” You shook your head, refusing to make eye contact with him as you swiped a bit of 20 year old disinfectant along his knuckles, eliciting a hiss from between his lips.

“She is cargo. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you don’t let your emotions get in the fucking way. You forgetting what we’re doin’ this for? We’re doin’ this for Tommy, Gwen. We get the battery, the truck, everything Marlene promised us, and we go and find my brother. That’s the plan and it ain’t changin’ darlin’.”

“You know, if I had just met you two, I’d think you were an old married couple by the way you fuckin’ bicker together.” Tess whispered, amusement in her tone.

Joel rolled his eyes immediately in response. “Yeah?” He scoffed. “Well, we sure as hell ain’t an old married couple.”

“No, but you’re actin’ like one. At this rate, I’d put a ring on her finger sooner, rather than later Texas.”

“You see an every kiss begins with Kay or jade jewelers, or whatever the fuck around here? Cause I sure as hell ain’t seein’ any. Not to mention, that ain’t our style. Marriage? That’s hilarious Tess. Really fuckin’ funny.”

It wasn’t that Joel thought there was anything bad about marriage. It was more-so the fact the that he hadn’t had thoughts about marriage in over 20 fucking years. Besides, putting a ring on your finger seemed way too cliche. Totally not yours, or his style.

“I think I’d actually commit murder if he even attempted to put a ring on my finger.” You chimed in, your eyes were still focused on tending to Joel’s hand.

“That’s exactly 100% why you’re Joel’s girl.”

“Damn right she is.” He agreed.

“You’re both seriously beyond insufferable right now. Just wanted to let you know.” You mumbled under your breath with a small grin tugging on your lips.

A bright flash of lighting, followed by a loud crack of thunder, ended the lighthearted banter.

“Have you thought of the possibility that maybe Marlene is lying about the truck, and weapons that she promised us? Look, I have my reasons to not trust Marlene, but I really think we need to think about this from a logical standpoint. If the case ends up being there’s no truck, or weapons, we can’t just leave Ellie to fend for herself.”

Joel was ripping his hand from your grasp when you had attempted to bandage his knuckles up. He had given you a stone cold look, one that sent an unpleasant chill down your spine.

“Marlene seemed too fuckin’ desperate to make up a lie like that darlin’. Besides, Tess and I have known Marlene far longer than you have. If she says there’s a truck and weapons waiting at the state house, she ain’t lyin’ about that. The only reason you have to not trust her is because she’s a fuckin’ firefly.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you tucked your first aid kit back into your backpack and stood up. “Yeah? Well if you remember correctly, she’s the reason why I got fucking thrown into lockup. Her and the rest of the fireflies are the reason behind that. You just want me to go along and trust her? She’s never even fucking liked me Joel.” His gaze fell upon your face as you shrugged off your jacket and gently placed it over Ellie’s curled up sleeping form just a few feet away.

“You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time Gwen. Shit fuckin’ happens. You don’t wanna trust Marlene? Go on right ahead and see where that gets you. You’ll be eating your words the second we drop this kid off and get our reward.”

You scoffed under your breath as you sank down against the wall, far away from him now with your arms crossed over your chest. “Yeah, okay Joel. Can you stop being a fucking asshole?”

“Stop saying stupid fuckin’ shit and then I won’t have a reason to be an asshole darlin’”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, tasting copper along your tongue. You missed the moments where Joel was attentive to you, and your feelings. Where he was tender, gentle, soft with your heart. You missed that side of him desperately.

Ellie, unbeknownst to the three of you, was wide awake and listening to the entire conversation as it ensued. The second you placed your jacket over her, she felt an immediate trust for you. Especially for the fact that you emphasized that she was just a kid. She was wary of the other two you traveled with. Especially Joel. He seemed like one mean motherfucker.

Joel had taken the first watch of the night while you and Tess slept. Except, you couldn’t sleep at all. Despite how mean your partner was to you earlier, you couldn’t give him the cold shoulder forever.

He had turned his head towards you in the slightest when he could hear your boots scraping against the pavement as you stood up. He let out a soft sigh when you sank down beside him, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Why aren’t you sleepin’ honey?” His tone was much softer now, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“I don’t sleep most nights anymore Joel.”

He frowned at this and finally looked over at you, turning his body so he was facing you. His good hand was still firmly grasped around the machine gun strapped across his shoulder.

“You wanna talk about it? I’m all ears for you darlin’” he rasped.

“There’s nothing to talk about Joel. This has been going on for months. I’ve come to accept that a decent night's rest is not something attainable for me anymore. I’m on edge constantly, and for good reason.” You had your chin tucked into your shoulder as you looked over at him. The rain wasn’t as heavy anymore but there were still low rumbles of thunder in the distance.

Joel took a deep inhale through his nose, his nostrils flaring slightly as he breathed out, feeling the tension in his shoulders dissipate.

“C’mere. You ain’t have a reason to be on edge when I’m right here. Okay? Look, I know these last few months have not been ideal. Shits been handed to us left and right. I don’t want you thinkin’ that I don’t care either, alright? You know I do.” He slipped the rifle off of his shoulder before he was reaching for you, gently wrapping his good hand around your forearm, coaxing you closer.

“I know you care, Joel. I know that you’re just stressed over Tommy, and now this whole situation. I just…I got so fucking comfortable when we were just..happy. You remember that?” You didn’t fight him as he gently pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly to his chest, resting his chin along the top of your head. His arms were secured around your middle, your back pressed firmly to his chest.

“We both knew that wasn’t going to last forever baby. Those were the best moments. I ain’t forgotten them. M’sorry for the way I’ve snapped at you. I don’t know how to deal with how I’ve been feelin’ about Tommy. I know that’s not an excuse to treat ya that way. I don’t wanna lose you too..”

“We could have stayed with Bill and Frank y’know. There were so many houses and we could have had a comfortable life there. I know it sounds silly, how can anyone live comfortably in an apocalypse? Somehow Bill and Frank have. They’ve pretty much gone and done the impossible. Listen, I know you don’t mean what you’ve said. Does it hurt me? Absolutely. You’d have to do something unforgivable to lose me Joel. So please don’t go speaking like that.” You placed your hands over his, as you gently brought his damaged hand up to your lips, lightly pressing a kiss to the broken skin on his knuckles.

“Maybe we can have that one day, sweet girl. Just the two of us, okay? We’ll find a home somewhere to call ours. Maybe a couple horses, a nice big yard? A library for all your books..a decent mattress, with pillows that aren’t moth eaten. A nice big kitchen where we can cook together. We’ll have Bill, Frank, Tess, and Bea over every weekend for dinner. I’ll make sweet love to you every fuckin’ night. Doesn’t that sound wonderful baby? We’ll have that one day, I promise you. It’s just not in the cards for us right now, but that’s okay. You wanna know why? Cause no matter what, I got you, and you got me. Kay? No matter what happens.” He whispered against your hair, his eyes closed as he pictured a domestic lifestyle with you by his side. He wanted that so fucking badly with you. He could nearly taste it.

You were left feeling stunned in his arms. Joel’s confession was well thought out, tender, filled to the brim with all the little details. You could tell by his deliverance that this was not something he came up with on a whim. No, your Joel had thought about the possibility of having a normal life with you for a long long time. “No matter what happens, I got you, you got me. Always.” You whispered.

Joel tightened his grip around you slightly. He didn’t care about the throbbing pain from his freshly broken hand, or the impending reality that your lives had drastically changed in a matter of hours. He just wanted to make sure you got a decent night of sleep finally.

So, he sang. Just above a whisper, the same lullaby you had sung to him the night that his nightmares nearly consumed him.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

You were fast asleep by the time he whispered out the last word. He held you all night long, listening intently for any sounds that could be of a threat. Even when it was Tess’s turn to take watch, he didn’t wake her either. His gun was nearby, ready to grab if needed. His eyes stayed trained on the sleeping teenager just a few feet away. Ellie, who he viewed as just being cargo to transport.

By morning's impending approach, the storm had since passed on. The sky was painted in an array of pink, red, and orange hues. Although a sight to behold, a red sky at dawn was never a good sign. The old saying goes, red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky at morning, sailors warning.

The four of you had no inclination to predict that this was Tess’s last day walking in the living realm. Predicting the weather was something just about anyone could do. Predicting the moment someone would take their last dying breath? That was a feat impossible.

Ellie had slowly awoken to the sun's warm rays peeking through the cracks in the abandoned building. A golden butterfly fluttered above her sleeping form as her eyes slowly opened. She was still in a sleepy state as she slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings before she heard a loud creaking sound behind her.

She was greeted by a stern look from both Joel, and Tess. He was holding his assault rifle between his hands. The barrel of the gun pointed at the ground. The look he was giving the teenager was menacing enough as it was. The only kind face Ellie could find in the small space was yours.

“Morning…” she spoke, hesitation laced in her tone.

Just as she began to slowly rise from the mossy floor, Joel had lifted the gun in her direction, causing the teenager's eyes to go wide and you kicked his chair with your boot from where you stood behind him. “Joel..” you warned. He could feel your eyes glaring into the back of his skull, disapprovingly.

“If you say that she’s just a kid one more fuckin’ time.” He snapped back, keeping his gun trained on Ellie.

“Do I look like I’m infected? Seriously, can you not point that thing at me man? What, are you actually gonna shoot me?”

“Just might. Now, show us your arm. Slow. If you make any—”

“Sudden movements you’ll shoot. Yeah, I think I fucking got that part.” Ellie quipped back. She slowly lifted the sleeve of her hoodie revealing her 3 week old bite mark in the sunlight. From where the 3 of you were, it was pretty obvious this was not a fresh bite in the slightest.

“Yeah, it’s not getting any worse, is it? I’m not infected. This thing is 3 weeks old and I haven’t turned into one of those..things.”

Joel slowly lowered his gun before he slowly looked over at Tess before he let his gaze slightly drift up to you. “What the hell was Marlene doin’ with an infected kid in the first place?”

“I’m not infected. She found me after I was bitten and before you ask, no. She didn’t shoot me. She locked me up in that shit hole and had her guys test me every fucking day. They chained me to a pipe and made me recite my name and other shit back to them to see if my personality had changed. It clearly didn’t.”

“Did your shit attitude come before, or after you were bitten?” Joel asked.

You kicked the foot of his chair again, this time a little harder.

You could tell the teenager fought hard to not roll her eyes at him. “Y’know the thing I think really impressed them was the fact that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster.”

When the three of you didn’t respond, Ellie slowly rose to her feet and Joel’s gun followed. “Really man? I thought we were done with that shit. Can I just go pee now? I’ve been holding it for a while.”

Tess had grabbed an old magazine on the floor and tossed it over to the teenager. “Go ahead. You can find a nice spot back there.”

Ellie caught the magazine before she started to walk towards the back room to do her business. “There’s not gonna be anything bad in here?”

“Just you.”

Once Ellie was out of sight, you nearly wanted to rip Joel’s gun from his hands but refrained as you crossed your arms over your chest with a sigh. “She made it through the fuckin’ night, Joel. I think you can cut it out with pointing the gun at her. She’s clearly not a threat to any of us.”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Maybe her body just has a late response to the cordyceps. She can’t be trusted. I told you this was a bad fuckin’ idea to begin with and now that we know she’s infected, you still think we’re gonna follow through with this?”

“You saw her arm, Joel. If she was infected it would have looked completely different. We’ve seen what infected bite marks look like and she is not one of them.”

“Yeah well I ain’t about to go and take that chance. We’re close enough to the wall. We can sneak her back into the QZ and we’ll just find a different way to get the battery. I ain’t hauling an infected kid around with us.”

“We take her back to the QZ and they’re gonna kill her. FEDRA see’s that bite mark and she’s through. You really wanna have a kid's blood on your hands like that?”

“Do you hear yourself right now Gwen? You’re actin’ like this kid has some fuckin’ life ahead of her or somethin’. We take her back to the QZ and get the battery a different way.”

“What happened to fiercely believing in the fact that Marlene is gonna have a whole truck and weapons waiting for us if we bring her to the state house? You’re just gonna go and abandon that?”

“You should be jumping for joy over the fact that we’re finally fuckin’ agreeing on somethin’ for once. An infected kid is not worth the possibility of that truck, or the weapons we were promised.”

“I’m with Gwen on this one.” Tess finally spoke as Joel whipped his around suddenly to look at her, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re what?”

“You heard me Texas. I don’t think I need to repeat it.” She spoke without looking at him just as Ellie had returned. “You hungry kid? You can share some of ours.”

“Thanks. Marlene sent me with my own.” Ellie spoke as she sank down into the moss, pulling out what appeared to be a chicken sandwich from her backpack.

“Is that chicken?” You asked, feeling your mouth water at the sight of something besides the dried, tasteless jerky the three of you were eating.

“Yep. Marlene said they get it from smugglers..guess not you guys.” She smirked a little as she took a bite of her sandwich.

Tess was already up and out of her chair and Joel had tried to stop her but she pushed him away. “Why are you so important to Marlene? Hm? Don’t even think about lyin’ to me kid. If you do, we’ll take you back to the QZ.”

“Well..you take me back and you don’t get your battery.” Ellie responded.

“Ohh. So you got a good set of ears on you huh? Well, then I’m sure you heard that he wants to shoot you then right?”

Ellie no longer possessed a smirk on her face as she slowly looked up at Joel’s displeased face. “So then why hasn’t he shot me already? If what you’re saying is true.”

“Trying to change the subject isn’t gonna do you any good either. So I’m gonna talk to you like an adult, alright? Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doin’ this for us because apparently you’re worth somethin’ to Marlene, whatever that may be. So if I were you, I’d drop the smart ass attitude because his patience? It’s wearing mighty thin. I suggest you answer my question. Why are you so important to Marlene?”

“What about her? Is she not a good person either?” Ellie spoke, gesturing her head towards you.

“Gwen? Let’s just say..she’s better than the two of us but not by much. Sweet face, sure. Knows how to wield a knife like it’s the fuckin’ back of her hand.”

“That’s badass.”

“Answer her question, Ellie. It’s alright.” You spoke softly, earning a disapproving look from your lover.

“Okay..well, Marlene told me not to tell anyone and here I am telling the three of you..” she sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west with doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

“Oh of course they are. Yeah, sure I’ll believe it. This ain’t the fuckin’ first time we’ve heard about a possible cure. It’s all horse shit.” Joel muttered under his breath.

“So whatever happened to me is—”

“The key to finding the vaccine. That’s what they all fuckin’ say and guess what? They’ve tried to find a cure numerous times and ain’t nothin’ worked. It’s the same goddamn thing every single—”

Ellie rose to her feet in a fury, staring at Joel head on. “Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You and me fuckin’ both. We’re wastin’ daylight the more time we spend talkin’ on this nonsense. I’m done. Pack your shit up and let’s go. We’re takin’ you back to the QZ.”

Tess let out a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. “Let’s just finish this Joel. We get what we want regardless. We take her back, and we risk all 4 of us getting shot. I don’t know about you, but I still have some life worth livin.’”

Joel clenched his jaw tightly, breathing in deeply through his nose. This was not a good idea. However, we was now outnumbered by two. “If she so much as fuckin’ twitches—”

He was cut off by the obnoxious sounds of Ellie portraying a clicker. Making the snarling clicking sounds as she contorted her limbs at an uncomfortable angle.

“Ellie don’t.” You warned her.

She rubbed the back of her neck, clearing her throat as she nodded, “okay..”

The 4 of you gathered up your things to head out and just as Joel was lifting his rifle from the ground, slinging the strap over his shoulder, Ellie asked if she too could have a gun.

“Can I have a gun?”

“Absolutely fuckin’ not. Not a chance in hell.” Was Joel’s immediate response.

“Okay, Jesus fuck. Fine. I’ll just throw a fuckin’ sandwich at them or something.” She muttered under her breath as she threw her backpack strap over her shoulder.

As the 4 of you stepped out into the warm sunlight, you watched as Ellie looked around the ruined city in amazement. Buildings half fallen over, taken hostage by thick vines and moss. There were giant craters, the size of small moons, where the government had sent bombs to slow down the rate of the infected.

Joel had come to a halt in front of the impassable wreckage blocking a quick path to the State House. “Long way or short way?”

“It’s the long way or the ‘we’re fuckin’ dead way.’” Tess added.

“Long way it is then. We’ll have to go check from the hotel first. See if the coast is clear. C’mon.” You were leading the way now, while Ellie walked alongside you, Tess in the middle, and Joel in the back.

You and Ellie engaged in small talk. You genuinely wanted the kid to feel somewhat comfortable with this entire situation and Ellie seemingly appreciated your efforts. She told you how she had gotten bit and you had to admit, this kid was pretty ballsy for her age. “Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Thanks.” She had a grin creeping up on her face.

“Soo..no one is gonna come looking for you right? Mom, dad?..boyfriend?..”

“Uhhh well, I’m an orphan and nope.”

You could feel Joel’s eyes on the back of your skull as he walked behind you, shaking his head at your efforts to befriend this cargo.

“See, everyone told me the big open city was gonna be crazy! Infected runnin’ around everywhere. Are we even gonna see any? Cause I’ve heard there’s like super-infected that explode fungus spores on you! Is that not true?”

“Shit, I hope not. Those sound fuckin’ terrifying.” You said with a small grin.

“Okay, what about the ones that have their heads split open and can see in the dark like bats?”

“You mean clickers? Yeah, there’s lots of those. They’re the most common type that we’ve come across. Not the hardest to kill, but they use echolocation—” you were cut off by the sound of a loud, distant animalistic yell coming from deep within the fallen city.

On instinct, Joel was close to your side, looking around as you waited for another yell to follow. The only sound you could hear was a crow perched on a tree nearby.

“Let’s keep movin’” Joel spoke as he gave you a gentle nudge forward.

As you approached the hotel, Ellie had her own set of questions for you as she kicked at the stray rubble beneath her red, worn sneakers.

“So is he like..your boyfriend or somethin’?”

“My boyfriend? Well, no. Not exactly. I wouldn’t call him that if I’m being honest.”

“But you’re like together, right? I think that part is pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, we are. Just don’t think he’d particularly enjoy me calling him my boyfriend. It’s not really his taste.”

“Well, no offense to you, he doesn’t seem like the boyfriend type anyway.”

This elicited a light laugh to slip past your lips as you covered it by coughing into the sleeve of your jacket. “Oh, you’re right on the money with that one, kid. He is far from the boyfriend type.”

“But he’s like your partner then?..Your person?”

“Yeah, something along those lines. I wouldn’t go as far to put us into a box, y’know?”

“I understand..what about Tess? Does she have anyone?”

“Back in the QZ she does. She has a girlfriend named Beatrix.”

“Wicked.”

“You two done chit chattin’ up there?” Joel spoke, distaste evident in his tone.

“Yeah, we’re just makin’ the time pass is all.”

“Oh yeah? Well ain’t that fuckin’ nice for you two.” He scoffed as he walked ahead of you, stopping at the foot of the stairs looking into the overflowing of water into the once hotel lobby.

“Is he always this grumpy?” Ellie leaned over and whispered to you.

“Oh, this isn’t even the worst that you’ve seen of it, kid. Trust me.”

The 4 of you started to trudge through the green, murky water to get to the other side of the lobby. Ellie being the kid that she was, wandered off to the side when she saw what used to be the front desk and pressed on the bell a few times as she leaned over the counter. “Ding! Ding! Yes, sir. I would like your finest suite, please.” “Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage?”

“You’re a weird kid.” Joel watched her with a quizzical expression etched on his weathered features.

“You’re a weird kid.” Ellie sarcastically responded back, nearly sticking her tongue out at him as she pushed the luggage trolley forward.

A very deceased human Skeleton slipped out from behind the trolley and scared the living daylights out of the teen. Much to yours, and Ellie’s surprise, Joel was at her side immediately, gun raised in the direction of the apparent threat.

She’s just cargo, my ass. Was the first thought that came to your mind.

Joel had offered Ellie his hand as he helped her up but as soon as their hands touched, he was ripping his away from her grasp, staring down at it momentarily with a hard expression on his face. Perhaps it was from the fact that his hand was still freshly broken. Or there was a possibility he was shocked that he even allowed himself to touch someone who was ‘infected.’

After climbing 10 flights of stairs, you were met with another obstacle that was definitely not present the last time you had come through this way. “What the fuck man. This definitely wasn’t here last time, was it?” You asked, bent over slightly as you were catching your breath.

“No, it sure as hell wasn’t. Maybe we can try one of the doors?” Tess walked past you, trying the two doors with no luck.

“Damn. Well, maybe we can go climb through it and work our way around?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

Joel had pushed Ellie to the side then, before giving you a boost up over the rubble before you helped Tess over the side, grasping her forearms as you pulled her up.

“Just be careful, alright?” He spoke as he slowly sat down on an abandoned suitcase across from Ellie.

“Yeah yeah. We’ll be fine, cowboy. Just keep an eye on the kid.” You peeked your head out from a gap in the rubble and gave him a reassuring nod, and a subtle wink.

Ellie sat across from him, flipping her switchblade and catching it by the handle each time.

“That’s a nice knife you got there. Where’d you learn to do that?” Joel asked.

“The circus.” Ellie deadpanned.

Joel let out a deep sigh, looking off to the side as he tried to figure out why he even bothered to make small talk with a teenager.

“Where are you from?” Ellie asked.

“Texas.” He gruffly responded.

“What about Tess and Gwen?”

“Detroit. It’s in Michigan and Gwen is from Chicago.”

“I go to school, smart ass. I know where Detroit is. Chicago has that giant fucking bean, right? Always wanted to see it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. She’s obsessed with it. No fuckin’ clue why.”

“Uh huh. So you two like a—” Ellie already knew the answer, thanks to you. She was just slightly curious to see what Joel would respond with.

“Pass.”

“Oh well cause she told me you guys were—”

“Pass.”

“How’d you end up in Boston?”

“Pass.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Talk to a fuckin’ brick wall? Fuck. She was right, you are grumpy all the time.”

“She what? God dammit Gwen.” He growled lowly under his breath. “No more questions about me, alright? That’s enough.”

“Alright, grumpy. How long do infected live?”

Joel whipped his head back around towards her, narrowing his eyes before he chuckled, “Oh, I thought you went to school.”

“Yeah, well..it’s a really shitty one.”

“Some of ‘em last about a month or two. There’s others that have been walkin’ around ‘bout 20 years.”

“Yeah? You ever kill one?”

Joel nearly scoffed at this question, almost offended that this kid even assumed that he hadn’t killed any.

“Yeah, I have killed lots of ‘em.”

“Was it hard killing them?..like, knowing they were people once? Has it ever bothered you?..”

Joel was slightly taken aback by her question. He often did forget that the infected used to be everyday people he would see on the street. Sometimes he would be forced to face humanity, and realize that he was in a sense, killing people. He wasn’t a total monster like many would have assumed him to be. He just wasn’t the most open with sharing personal details about himself.

“Sometimes. It’s easy to forget that they were once people when they’re comin’ at you with one goal in mind; to turn you into one of ‘em. So you gotta decide if it’s gonna be you, or them. You think I survived this long without havin’ to kill?” He sighed as he leaned back against the wall. “I ain’t exactly proud of it, but it’s what you gotta do to survive. It's always either gonna be you, or them.”

“What about that guy last night?”

Just as Joel was going to respond, he could hear rustling just outside the door and he was up in a flash with his gun aimed at the door.

“You can put the gun down, cowboy. It’s just us. Relax.” You spoke through the door as you pushed it open, revealing you and Tess on the other side. From the looks on your faces alone, Joel could tell that something was definitely wrong.

“What now? Did you guys see something?”

“Yeah, and you’re not gonna like it. Not one bit I’m afraid.” You confirmed.

“Fuckin’ fantastic.” He grumbled as he gently nudged past you and Tess followed by Ellie.

Shortly after, the 4 of you were standing over the ledge of the hotel, looking down at a shrieking hoard of infected, writhing on the ground below. You were standing alongside Joel, noticing that he was nervously fidgeting with his fingers and picking at the skin around his cuticles. You gently grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers together as you gave his hand a light, reassuring squeeze.

“The last time we were here, there weren’t nearly this many of them. Most of them were still deep inside the buildings. Guess enough people came wanderin’ through looking for the QZ. They found themselves seeking shelter..went inside the buildings and that’s how they get more of the fuckin’ city bit by bit, year after year.” Tess stated, glancing over at you and Joel momentarily before looking at Ellie.

“What’re we gonna do?” You spoke quietly to him, gently stroking your thumb across the outside of his hand, leaning in close to his tall frame.

“We’re gonna have to go through the museum. We ain’t have another choice darlin.’”

“That was nearly a suicide mission the last time we went through..remember?”

“Yeah, but there’s a chance whatever is left of ‘em is dead by now. If it gets dicey, we split and figure out another way, alright? Right now, this is our only option and I ain’t lookin’ forward to it either.” he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, just a smidge of affection that it seemed like you both needed.

“They’re connected in more ways than you know. The fungus also grows underground. Long fibers, like wires. They’re all entwined under the surface and if you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, you can awake a dozen infected somewhere else. They know where you are and it’s only a matter of minutes before they find you. You’re not immune from being ripped apart, kid.” Tess explained.

Ellie was fully listening, soaking up all the information that Tess was providing her. The situation at hand was becoming all too real for her 14 year old self.

“We have to go through the museum. It’s the short-way and not the most ideal, nor the safest, but we ain’t have much of a choice.” Joel spoke up, letting go of your hand as he stepped forward.

“I had a really bad feelin’ you were gonna come to that conclusion Texas.” Tess spoke with a sigh.

Ellie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull when she saw the amount of fungus tendrils stretched across the expanse of the outside structure of the museum. The colors were faded, not nearly as vibrant as freshly infected. Despite their obvious expiration, the building still looked ominous and uninviting.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding me. We seriously have to go through there? You sure there’s not another way man? This is screaming ‘DANGER’ like c’mon, aren’t the lights flashing in your brain right now too? Cause mine are like fuckin’ sirens.”

Joel ignored the teen as he bent down, inspecting one of the thick strands of fungus. He used the butt of his gun to stab at it to check and see if it was in fact dead. “It’s bone dry. Good chance that they’re all finally fuckin’ dead in there.” He was already pulling his flashlight out from his bag while you and Tess were pulling out your guns.

“I have a spare hand y’know.” Ellie stated the obvious.

“Congratulations.” Joel responded.

He was the first to enter the museum, rifle at the ready. When he deemed it was safe enough to enter, he turned his head towards the opening of the door and gave you a quick nod to follow.

Once the 4 of you were inside the museum, Ellie’s pupils had blown out when she saw just how much fungus coated the walls, floors, and pretty much any inanimate object. It was everywhere.

Joel was still extremely cautious where he stepped, shining his flashlight along the fungus infested floor. It appeared that the once living infected, were all deceased by now. That was until Ellie stumbled upon a fresh kill and let out a surprised, “oh shit!”

Joel was immediately stepping around her, gun raised and his face immediately fell as he looked over at you and Tess. So, maybe they weren’t all dead after all. Or maybe this guy was attacked outside the museum and just found himself to be in an unlucky situation.

The three of you began to talk in a hushed whisper over the situation. Ellie could barely decipher what was being said from how low your voices were but she caught onto the bit of the conversation regarding ‘not hearing them’ what the hell were they going on about? What were they listening for? As far as she was concerned, the museum was deathly silent.

“I don’t hear anything. Who, or what would you hear?” Ellie had suddenly asked. Joel’s response was to raise his hand off his gun, giving her a warning look to shut the fuck up with his eyes alone.

“Did an infected person do that? Cause I was attacked by one and it sure as hell didn’t do that. Dude is all torn up. I’ve never seen anything like it.” She whispered.

“Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quiet. Silent.” He emphasized heavy on the silent part as he looked sternly at Ellie. He held no concern over you and Tess being silent but this kid was already becoming a nuisance in his eyes. “You got that? Not one single fuckin’ sound. This isn’t funny business, kid. This is the real fuckin’ world.” He harshly whispered.

“What—”

“No. No questions. Just do what I say, alright? You wanna live to see another day, don’t you? Exactly. That’s what I thought.” He whispered as he lowered his gun and took a few silent steps to the side, locking eyes with you for a moment. Your Joel never usually showed fear. He was able to encase it well behind his hardened features. A furrow of his brow, the quirk of his upper lip, all used as decoys. Even in the low lighting, you could see his face etched with fear. Just as fast as it appeared, it was gone again, hidden behind the vast ridges of his weathered skin.

Joel had taken the lead while you silently stepped behind him, keeping your finger hovering over the trigger of your gun, ready to react if need be. You glanced back at Ellie and gave her a reassuring nod to follow you while Tess walked behind her. Despite how quiet you all were being, the old floor boards were creaking with every step your boots took.

The stairway was absolutely covered with now bone dry fungus. You couldn’t even see where the next step started from how dense the fungus was. It creeped up the walls, over paintings and the railings of the staircase. You watched Joel’s footing as he carefully stepped over a mound of once living infected. You couldn’t even make out their faces as the fungus had completely morphed them to be unidentifiable.

The sickening crunch of a once human hand beneath Ellie’s shoe had Joel whipping around, shining his flashlight that was attached to the rifle at the teenager. He gave her one long look before he turned away from her and continued to head up the stairs.

A few more steps up and Joel was at the opening of the doorway, slowly pushing it open as you waited for his silent cue. Just as he had given it to you with a slight nod of his head, some of the building's structure began to collapse and crumble as you, Tess, and Ellie stumbled inside before the debris could crush the three of you.

Joel was reaching down grasping the kids arm as he quickly helped her up from the dusty floor while you helped Tess up.

Then there was a loud screech, one that you had heard far too many times. It still sent deep chills down your spine.

click click click click

Ellie was slowly backing towards a wall, her eyes wide with fear as she tried to steady her nervous breaths.

Out from the shadows, illuminated by the steady, bright beam of Joel’s flashlight was a clicker. Its head was completely split open by the cordyceps. The brain cavern was taken over by the fungus. Thick, putrid and brightly colored. Clickers could not see, as they were blinded by the fungus, but they could hear, and they could hear very well.

Its body contorted at an uncomfortable angle as it clicked and snarled.

Another screech was heard;two clickers.

Joel was already quickly nudging you against the glass case. His face constricted painfully in your view. This was not an ideal situation to be in. Not one fucking bit.

Ellie was in his direct eyesight and he quickly mouthed to her, “they can’t see, but they can hear.”

The clicker let out a loud, bone chilling growl from the other side of the glass case. You found yourself squeezing your eyes shut momentarily, holding your gun firmly against your chest.

Don’t make a sound. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t move.

Joel had slowly brought his pointer finger to his lips, keeping his eyes locked on Ellie to keep her calm.

You could feel the teenager's anxiety, and fear rising with every second and you silently pleaded with her to stay strong.

Joel had turned his head slightly as the clicker stumbled around the side of the glass display case. It was so close you could nearly feel its putrid breath on your skin.

Ellie had let a sharp breath slip past her lips and it was loud enough for the clicker to hear her.

It all happened in a flash as the clicker turned around and screeched loudly before it lunged. Joel had gotten a few shots into its body from where he stood, but it wasn’t nearly enough to inflict any serious damage. “RUN!” he yelled as the other clicker appeared from the shadows. You shot at it once before grabbing Ellie’s arm firmly in your grasp.

Tess had taken a couple more shots before she followed behind you. The three of you ran around the corner, hearts racing and blood fiercely pumping. The clicker was hot on your tail and gaining on you quickly. In one quick movement, you shoved Ellie to the ground, ordering her to crawl to safety.

You and Tess turned to shoot again, but neither of you had time to aim and wasting bullets was the last thing you wanted to do.

You both could hear a loud crash from the other side of the room and Joel’s heavy boots before everything went silent again.

click click click click

Joel had taken cover behind another glass cabinet as he quickly unloaded and reloaded his small pistol. His senses were on overdrive when he heard the low clicks approaching. His eyes squeezed shut momentarily, thinking that his cover was blown.

The clicker had let out a low snarl before it stalked in the other direction and he could barely make out Ellie’s crouched form behind the tarnished glass.

His footsteps were quiet, calculated and precise as he moved from his hiding spot and crouched beside Ellie. He had no other choice but to get her out of this situation. It was almost as if in those crucial moments, his protective nature had completely taken over. He was going to get this kid out of here, unscathed if it was the last thing he ever did.

Him and Ellie silently communicated with their eyes alone. One tilt of his head and she was quietly moving along the side of the glass case, following his lead. Just when he thought they were in the clear, something had crunched beneath his boot. It was stray shards of glass. His blood ran cold at the crunching sound. Neither him, nor Ellie had time to react as the clicker lunged over the glass case and threw itself on them.

You could hear Joel’s grunts and Ellie’s terrified screams from where you stood behind a nearby wall. You were going to have to act fast if you were to save them both.

bang bang bang

Joel had pumped the clicker with lead, causing it to stumble backwards, allowing him and Ellie to scramble to their feet.

You peeked around the corner, taking aim at the clicker's head before you pulled the trigger and sent it stumbling to the ground. Even after its body hit the floor with a sickening thud, Joel pulled his own trigger a few more times till it was no longer moving.

The second clicker came charging out of the blue, but didn’t make it far as Tess had thrown an ax at its neck, and you finished it off with a bullet to the head.

Once the apparent threat was deceased, everyone let out a shaky breath. From where you were standing, you could tell Tess was injured from the way she was avoiding putting too much weight on one foot. “You alright?”

“Just a twisted ankle, I’ll live. Don’t worry.” She responded.

“Fuck me.” Ellie exclaimed as she lifted up the sleeve of her hoodie and revealed a fresh bleeding bite mark along her forearm. “I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us..”

You were at her side then and gently tugged her sleeve down. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Tess’s final and only request

You sat alongside on the roof, pulling out a roll of duct tape from your bag as she pulled off her boot. You wasted no time to start to wrap her foot with the tape. “Just a sprained ankle you said? Nothin’ else?” You asked, looking up at the older woman momentarily.

“Yeah, just a sprained ankle Gwen. I’ll be fine.” Tess looked at you as if she was studying your features. As if she was storing your image deep inside her brain so that she wouldn’t forget you, or your face.

Joel had given the kid a piece of cloth to wrap her arm before he was crouching down on the other side of Tess. “You can walk, right? Ain’t need any help?”

She looked at him the same way she had just looked at you. She wanted to keep your memories up to the very last second. “I’m fine, Texas. Really. Go on and make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill herself or somethin.’”

He gave her a small nod before he stood back up. “Yeah, I know. It looks scary and all but it really ain’t that bad.”

Ellie turned around briefly to look at him before she responded, “no. That was scary. This is wood.” Before she stepped across the thin planks to the otherside.

You gave Tess’s arm a light squeeze before you followed after the kid, glancing back at them momentarily before you crossed over the narrow planks of wood.

“What if the first bite didn’t take? What if the second one does? We’re in way over our fuckin’ heads with this Tess. We all could have fuckin’ died back there and—” Joel was cut off by Tess snapping back at him.

“How ‘bout you just take the good news? Can you please just do that for once? None of us are dead. We’re gonna finish what we started Joel.”

He looked at her briefly, trying to decipher what had ticked her off so easily before he let out a sigh and grabbed his rifle from where it laid on the discolored roof tiles and slung it back over his shoulder.

I failed them. I failed them both. I failed Bea. Tess silently thought to herself as she pulled her knees up to her chest, taking in a few shaky breaths.

Joel crossed over the planks and stood alongside Ellie.

“Is it everything you hoped for?” He asked.

“Jury’s still out.”

“But, man, you can’t deny that view.” Ellie concluded.

You were reloading your gun off to the side, glancing over your shoulder to see Tess approaching. Her demeanor alone was a sure signal that something was off. You just couldn’t figure out what exactly had happened back there. It was going to drive you up a wall, not knowing. You were sure of it.

“C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark. We’re wasting daylight. Let’s go.” Tess gritted out between her teeth as she was already climbing down the old steel ladder. Her erratic movements threw you off guard completely.

You stopped alongside Joel, brushing your hand across the outside of his bicep before you followed Tess and Ellie down the ladder.

Joel waited a few moments in silence as he glanced down at his broken watch strapped around his wrist before he grabbed the side of the ladder and climbed down.

They’re gonna hate me.

They’ll see right through me.

What will Bea think?

Will she think me to be dead?

I let her down too.

She’ll never know what has become of me.

I won’t turn into a monster.

I won’t become one of them.

Tess was leading the way to the state house. Her footsteps were uncharacteristically fast. She seemed on edge, nervous, sporadic.

The 4 of you were crouched behind a long abandoned car outside of the state house. There was a large military grade truck parked outside. However, there were no signs of weapons, or the fireflies.

“Where the fuck are they? Marlene said they would be here. She fuckin’ promised us.” Tess whispered.

“Everyone just stay here. Alright? Somethin’ ain’t right here.” Joel whispered back before he crept from behind the car to investigate. Once he approached the truck, the 3 of you took a bated breath as he opened the door, aiming the barrel of his gun at the inside of the truck. He was met with blood stained seats but no fireflies.

The side of the open truck door was spattered with blood dripping down the dull metal.

Something definitely was not right here.

Joel had glanced back at you and Tess, shaking his head slightly to signal that it wasn’t safe just yet as he crept around the back of the truck slowly. He took a deep, visible breath as he opened up the two heavy steel doors and was met with no signs of any passengers inhabiting the vehicle.

“What the fuck is goin’ on Joel?” Tess asked as she walked towards him, brushing off your hand along your arm.

“The fuck did I just say about stayin’ back? It ain’t safe! Why didn’t you wait for my–”

“They went inside.” Ellie confirmed from where she was standing. There was a trail of blood leading up the gravel steps to the state house. This definitely was not a good sign at all.

Tess was already heading up the steps in a fury. From where you stood, you could see her hands trembling. “Come on!”

“Tess just wait a fuckin’ minute! By the looks of it, the fireflies are dead and we ain’t gettin’ our battery!” Joel yelled at her to stop.

“Come on!” She was insistent with her tone.

You, Joel, and Ellie had no choice but to follow Tess into the state house. Once inside, you were all met with the bodies of the deceased fireflies, all in a circle in the room. Their crimson blood spilled out along the tiles, staining them in a dark red.

“I mean, there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or somethin’ right? Help me look for one!” Tess spoke in a rushed tone as she frantically started looking through the deceased fireflies supplies, knocking over items onto the tile below, creating all sorts of noise.

“Tess? What the fuck is going on with you?” There was an edge to your tone as you came up alongside the older woman. “Maybe Joel was right..maybe we should go back to the QZ and regroup.”

“Fuck that. We’ve made it this far, and now you want to turn back? No. Help me find a radio, Gwen! There’s gotta be one around here. There has to be!”

Joel had noticed that one of the deceased fireflies had clearly been bit as he used his boot to tilt its head to the side.

“Tess, what the fuck are you doin’?” He asked while he watched her rummage around in a fury.

“Where did Marlene say she was taking you? Ellie! Where did she fuckin’ say she was taking you?” Tess ignored Joel as she walked over to the teen and you instinctively stepped in front of Ellie.

“Uhh..I don’t know. All she told me is that she was taking me west but she didn't say where exactly.”

“Just west? Fuck. Okay. She didn’t tell you anythin’ else?” Tess wasn’t even looking at you. Her eyes were frantically searching the expanse of the room. “Well, I mean, one of them’s gotta have a map on them, right? Joel? Gwen? Can you fuckin’ help me?! Stop just standin’ around!” She snapped as she started searching for anything she could find on the deceased bodies.

“No! Tess..it’s over. We are goin’ home, alright? We are way over our heads, bit off more than we can chew. We’ll go back to the QZ and–”

“That’s not my fucking home!” Tess snapped. “I’m stayin.”

“What the hell do you mean you’re stayin’? What the hell has gotten into you?! You’re actin’ fuckin’ weird! Why won’t you even look at us?!” Joel spoke exasperatedly.

Your blood suddenly ran cold. You figured out why Tess’s behavior was so sporadic and uncharacteristic for her just as Ellie had figured it out too.

“Fuck. She’s infected.” Ellie spoke softly, the realization washing over her.

Joel looked at Tess then and felt his world suddenly begin to cave in, all at once. Just before he could open his mouth to speak, you were stepping in front of him, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“No. Tell me it's not true, Tess. Fucking tell me its not true!” You pleaded with her, as Joel was already protectively pulling you back behind him.

“Show me. Show me your fuckin’ arm Tess.” He demanded and when she took a step towards him, he immediately took one back. He did his best to ignore the pained look that struck across Tess’s features.

Tess let out a sigh as she drew her hand up to the collar of her jacket and pulled the fabric back to reveal the fresh bite mark along the base of her neck, along her collar bone. You could see the veins of the fungus growing up her neck already. There was only a matter of time before she would be completely gone.

“Oops, right?” She said with a pained laugh, tears threatening to spill over.

You pushed Joel out of the way once more, you weren’t afraid of Tess. She wasn’t a monster. She was still human. She was still breathing, pumping blood through her veins. “You can’t fuckin’ die. You can’t! Tess…what about Bea? You–” Your own tears had threatened to spill over as you shakily grasped the collar of Tess’s jacket between your fingers. “This wasn’t supposed to happen to you!”

You could feel Joel grabbing your forearm, trying to yank you back. “Let me the fuck go!” You snapped, ripping your arm from his firm grasp.

Tess was hugging you, nearly knocking the air from your lungs. You could feel her entire body trembling as she held you. “You fuckin’ listen to me okay? I haven’t got much time. You protect him, okay? Please protect him Gwen. He’s going to need you more than ever now. No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.” She whispered, squeezing you tightly.

“Tess, I–”

“Promise me Gwen. Promise me you’ll be there for him”

“I promise.” You whispered.

“Tell Bea that I love her, and I'm sorry.”

Tess released you from her grip and frantically pushed you away as she stumbled back.

She addressed Joel directly now, balling her hands into fists, to ease the trembling. “Ellie. Take your bandage off.” She asked with a shaky breath, walking over to the teen as she grabbed her forearm in a firm grip.

“This is real. Joel, she’s fucking real. Look at her arm!” She let go of Ellie’s arm and brought it down to her side. Her forearm was twitching, trembling as the cordyceps were quickly invading her nervous system.

“You get her to Bill and Franks. You load up on ammo, and you take her out West. You find Tommy and the fireflies.”

“No.”

“There is no time to fuckin’ argue with me! You take her to Bill and Franks. I’ve never asked anything of you Joel. Never asked you to feel a certain way about me.”

He went to open his mouth but she immediately cut him off.

“No. You shut the fuck up and listen to me ‘cause I don’t have time. This is your chance to do some fuckin’ good for once. To make up for all the fucked up shit we did. You keep her alive. You keep her safe. You hear me? You set everything right.”

“Tess, No. I can’t fuckin’ do that.”

“Yes you fuckin’ can Joel. Please say yes, Joel, please fucking say yes.” She pleaded with him, a stray tear rolling down her cheek .

“Oh fuck!” Ellie yelled as one of the presumed deceased bodies snarled, clawing at the ground.

Joel wasted no time to pull his gun out, aiming it at the infected and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight to its head as it collapsed down to the mossy floor.

fuck fuck fuck.

The tendrils of the cordycep fungus rose up between the deceased fingers, and it dawned upon you that the infected were more connected than you could possibly understand. The fungus was weaved intricately below the surface, webbed together in a firm structure.

You could hear the approaching snarls from outside the wooden doors.

They were coming.

Tess was already moving around you, using the butt end of Joel’s rifle to open up the large barrels of gasoline, spilling the flammable liquid onto the tile. She was working off pure adrenaline as she knocked over each barrel. She tossed a box filled with grenades onto the floor.

The realization that Joel was losing another person who was so important, so close to his heart, was crashing down on him. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears. His eyes and mind went blank as Tess approached him. “Joel…save who you can save.” She whispered her final plea to him. These were her last words spoken in the walking, living realm.

Joel understood, as he searched her eyes. He seared her memory into the deep cavern of his brain. He would never forget her and he refused to let her down.

In a flash he had grabbed Ellie’s arm in his one hand and yours in the other, immediately yanking both of you away from the immediate danger.

“No! We’re not leaving her! We can’t! Get off me, you fucker!” Ellie yelled as she clawed at him, trying to pull her arm from his grasp.

You stumbled after him, frantically looking over your shoulder at Tess for the very last time. She gave you a small smile, followed by a reassuring nod before her face was obstructed from your view as Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, to safety.

All you hoped for was that Tess went peacefully. That she didn’t die in fear. You hoped that she died with memories of you, Joel, and Bea. Tess deserved that. She deserved to die peacefully, painlessly. You loved her to her very last moments.

Moments after Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, there was a loud explosion of breaking glass, and bright flames. The sound had Joel throwing his body over you and Ellie protectively. You could hear the distant screams of the infected suffering in the hot flames, and billowing smoke. You hoped to god that Tess wasn’t one of those blood curdling screams.

Joel immediately had his gun raised, ready to shoot down any stray infected. There were none. They were all dead. Tess had sacrificed herself for your lives. She gave you a fighting chance and you’d never forget her bravery.

You brought your arm around Ellie’s shaken up frame, giving her a firm squeeze. You kept her close as you turned her body away from the destruction and death.

Joel had already walked away as he could feel tears begin to prick in the corner of his eyes. He quickly blinked them away as he slung his rifle over his shoulder.

The three of you were dead silent as you walked into the nearby woods. Your mind felt numb, and your heart was raw. Tess had so much more life ahead of her to live. She had friends, a lover, and a purpose. She was smart, witty, and brave. She fought for those she loved, till her dying breath.

Joel was crouched down alongside the river, far away from you and Ellie. He was reaching into the clear stream, picking up rocks below the surface and gently stacking them upon one another. He was creating a cairn in her memory. A silent memorial for her short life. He thought of her as he placed each stone on top of one another.

I’m sorry. I should have done more. I should have been quicker. I should have protected you. I let you down. I failed you.

Your approach towards Joel was hesitant. You had no idea how he was going to react to your attempt to comfort him. You knew he didn’t handle loss, of any kind, well. You refused to let him suffer alone. He had his moment where he could mourn in peace. You wouldn’t take that moment from him. He deserved it. You both did. Despite this, your heart pulled you towards him. You had to make sure he was okay. You needed each other more than ever now. Tess’s words echoed in your mind with each step you took. “No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.”

Joel could hear your footsteps slowly approach. His back immediately tensed up at the sound of your boots crunching under stray twigs. His heart yearned for your touch, your comfort. His mind was scrambled. It screamed for him to shut you out. This was your fault, after all. You insisted they take the kid from the get-go. In his eyes, and his fragile mind, Tess was dead because of you.

He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the warm expanse of your palm press between his shoulder blades. His breath trembled as he fought hard to not lean into your touch.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He hissed lowly, keeping himself facing the stream.

“Joel, Please..Don’t—”

“Don’t what? It’s your fuckin’ fault that Tess is dead.” He harshly whispered, clenching his jaw tightly as he let his toxic thoughts slip through his broken, cracked lips.

His words felt like a thousand knives stabbing you in the heart over, and over again. You took a shaky inhale, remembering Tess’s final request to you.

“You don’t mean that. You don’t mean that Joel. You’re upset..let me–”

He whipped around to face you, his eyes narrowed into slits as he rose to his feet, towering over you. “I fuckin’ mean every goddamn word. You insisted from the get-go that we take this fuckin’ kid. I told you it was a bad idea. See what happens when you try to be the fuckin’ hero, Gwen?”

You took a step back from him, feeling your own tears threatening to spill over. “Stop. Please fucking stop! I am not at fault for Tess’s death! Neither of us could have predicted this to happen Joel!”

“I fuckin’ told you that we should just take her back to the QZ! What do you do instead? You fight against me, tooth and fuckin’ nail! Every goddamn fuckin’ time. Why couldn’t you have just listened to me for once in your goddamn life!” He spat, taking two heavy steps towards you.

“Because Ellie is just a fuckin’ kid! She’s just a kid that is now OUR responsibility! Tess agreed that we shouldn’t take her back to the QZ! She agreed with me, Joel!”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he let out a deep chuckle.

“Do you fuckin’ hear yourself right now?! Fuckin’ take some accountability for your fuckin’ actions! Tess is dead because of you! Bea is never going to see her again, because you wanted to fuckin’ save this kid, this cargo! How does it feel, huh? Are you fuckin’ happy with yourself Gwen? Do you feel fuckin’ good inside right now baby?! TELL ME HOW IT FUCKIN’ FEELS!”

Joel’s booming voice rattled your skull, and pierced your heart. You physically felt yourself cowering away from him, shrinking in on yourself.

Ellie had heard Joel’s yell from where she was sitting against a nearby tree. She was up and running to your aid immediately. You watched as the teen shoved at Joel with her hands, pushing him back with rage filled in her tear brimmed eyes.

“Hey! Leave her alone, you fucker! Leave her alone! It’s not her fucking fault! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Ellie yelled as she shoved his chest as hard as she could.

Joel was grabbing the teens wrists in his calloused palms, immediately shoving her away.

“You fuckin’ stay out of this kid! This ain’t your fuckin’ business!” He felt his pulse drop when he heard the familiar click of your gun perched firmly between your shaking hands. The barrel was shakily aimed at him.

“LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS JOEL. YOU WANNA LET YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME? FINE. LEAVE ELLIE OUT OF THIS!” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You gonna fuckin’ shoot me?”

“If you lay your hands on her again, I won’t hesitate.”

“You’re breakin’ my fuckin’ heart baby.”He seethed between his gritted teeth.

“Gwen..” Ellie pleaded with you.

“It’s okay, kid. I will handle this, okay? Please just...just go sit down. Please.” You whispered, giving the teen a reassuring nod that everything would be okay. Joel would never hurt you. He would never dare.

Ellie looked between you, and the brooding man before she reluctantly nodded, walking away.

Your gun was still aimed at your lover as your tears continued to fall. “How fucking dare you speak to me like this Joel. What the fuck is wrong with you?!? How dare you speak to Ellie like that! She has done NOTHING to you, Joel!”

He took a few menacing steps towards you, feeling the barrel of your gun pressed firmly against the cavern of his chest. Your lower lip was trembling, your eyes glassy with tears as you looked up at him.

“You gonna pull that fuckin’ trigger baby? You gonna pump me full of lead?”

“You know I can’t Joel. You know I fuckin’ can’t.” You whispered shakily.

“Just like you can’t fuckin’ admit that you’re the reason Tess is dead. Can’t own up to your fuckin’ actions to save your life.”

“Please stop Joel. Please. I’m begging you to please fucking stop. You’re hurting me. You’re fucking hurting me!” You yelled. Your tone was raw, heartbroken, beaten.

“Who are you fuckin’ shedding those tears for, huh?! You shedding those tears for Tess? She hated you! You know she fuckin’ hated you with every fibre in her fuckin’ being! You don’t get to cry for her! She meant NOTHING to you. Don’t stand there and act like she did! You don’t get to weep and feel sorry for YOURSELF!”

The barrel of your gun was pushing so deep into his chest now. Surely there would be a bruise of some sort forming but it was clear he didn’t give a fuck about that. Not even in the slightest. He felt his heart screaming at him to stop but it was too late. The words were spoken and they were etched deep into your own heart. Joel had gone and done the unforgivable.

“Fuck You. You don’t get to stand there and tell me how I'm allowed to feel Joel! She was my fucking FRIEND too! We had our differences, and we overcame them! I fucking loved her and YOU don’t get to take that away from me! YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO TELL ME HOW I CAN AND CAN’T FEEL!”

Joel’s breaths were coming out in heavy puffs, fanning your face as you watched his nostrils flare, and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. Deep down, he knew this wasn’t an argument to win. He was just devastated that he lost someone so close to him. He never learned how to handle loss well, his old habits, and toxic feelings welcomed him in with soft whispers, and warm touches.

This was not your Joel.

“Gwen…” He whispered.

“No. Fuck you. You don’t get to say all that, speak to me that way, and take it all back. You don’t get to fuckin’ do that Joel.”

“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t–”

“NO.”

“Gwen. You know I didn’t mean it..I lashed out, but I didn’t mean any of it! I got you, you got me, Always. Remember? I’m so sorry I–”

As soon as he was reaching out for you, you harshly pushed him away, pressing the barrel of the gun further into his chest.

“You’ll never fucking touch me again Joel. Never.” You whispered.

You removed the barrel of the gun from his chest, pointing it upwards towards the sky, before you pulled the trigger.

The deafening sound of the bullet being released and cracking through the cool air had him flinching.

You wanted him to know that you could have pulled the trigger on him. You loved that man too much to hurt him. You could never.

“Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t you dare come near me.” You seethed, tucking your gun back into the holster around your waist before you turned on your heel, and walked away from him.

Joel was left standing near the rivers edge, watching as you walked far, far away from him.

‘Cause do I love you..Oh, I do..and I'm going to ‘til I'm gone…’

Tag list:

@chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @dinsdjrn @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @pedrostories

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #the last of us #joel the last of us #dark joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x original character #joel miller x oc #the last of us fanfiction #tlou oc #tlou fic #joel miller imagine #the last of us imagine #the last of us hbo #tess servopoulos #ellie williams #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal #joel miller angst #joel miller series #joel miller smut #burning in a hopeless dream fic #gwen and joel #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x f!oc

[fallingrealms16]

Destiel Fic Recs Part 1

(人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

So this is a little bit different to what I usually post (if you know me I post mostly Sterek content) but I have to remember this account is also all about that Destiel content too!

The Unbroken by casblackfeathers

126K Words // Chapters: 28/28 // 24K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Dean’s life had been made of running. He ran from a curse that had desolated his life ever since he was a child — whenever he got hurt, he turned into a goddamn human-torch, killing everyone around him — and he ran from himself and his own self-loathing. But managing all that at the end of a world full of Croats lurking around every corner was easier said than done. Until a mysterious man with tousled dark hair paired with blue eyes as clear as the sky during a hot summer’s day stopped him from free falling, literally. In one fell swoop, the stranger had not only saved his life but also calmed the wildfire threatening to burn everything in its wake. There was something about Castiel that made Dean want to stop running but also hid something darker — something Dean couldn’t quite put his finger on. And between soft, pillowy lips and feather-like fingerprints, Cas could very well shatter Dean’s world and maybe help save the whole world in return.

2. Empty Spaces by thisisapaige

48K Words // Chapters: 20/20 // 5K Hits // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

[Castiel] found the colour. It was a green, one of the few gentle colours at the edges of his dreams and the one he tried to capture in his paintings, never quite finding the right hue. He spent so long chasing the colours, trying to find it though pills and needles, but they always evaded his grasp. Yet he found one, right here, hiding in the eyes of a stranger. He studied the colour, the subtle differences between dark and light, the little flecks of gold nearly hidden in the sea of green, the ring around the outside. He studied it, trying to commit the colour to memory. The other man cleared his throat. “Uh, dude?” Oh. Castiel forgot the colour was attached to a person. ~~~ What if Castiel had fallen before the start of the series and met Dean on a routine hunt? Set in the spring before Dean goes to find Sam in Stanford. Intended as a three part series.

3. brightside by season12cas

17K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 2K Hits // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

Cas’ arm around his body, well, that just— It feels good. It feels right. So when Dean does fall asleep, he’s pretty sure there’s a smile on his face.

4. Edge of Night by Sinelaborenihil

364K Words // Chapters: 61/61 // 71K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Following the events of Season 15 Episode 19 "Inherit the Earth", Dean Winchester finds himself struggling with his grief, despite what seems like a decisive victory. Then, in an instant, everything changes and he is given a second chance to explore what it might mean to allow himself to embrace a certain "profound bond".

5. There's a nail by Flurry_X

5K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 6K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

"Years and layers of denial and avoidance and stolen glances are pelted away from his body instantly, with the simple brush of Dean's palms over his skin. And for all that longing, all that swarming hive of doubt, all this time, it was as simple as reaching out." ----- If Destiel happened not with a bang, but with a whimper. Where they both just give into it. Castiel POV

6. There's a rule by Flurry_X

15K Words // Chapters: 3/3 // 7K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

"He can see the sunburn blooming on Cas’s nose, the messy stubble covering his cheeks, the wet dip right above his lips, his eyes, blue and clear and staring at Dean with a longing that feels like it’s primal and raw and everlasting. And Dean wants to have him, wants to keep this, all of it, but he can’t say it. He doesn’t know how to love him in daylight, doesn’t know how to love him honest." ---- Sequel to "There's a nail" Where they take the road trip and try to figure it out Dean POV

7. Hautley's Bend by ColdIntheStudio

500K Words // Chapters: 42/42 // 268K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Castiel Novak is used to change. He's used to being the new kid in school. So when he moves with his family to the small town of Rail Pass, he doesn't expect things to be much different than the last three towns. But then he meets Dean Winchester, an aggressive fellow student who sees Castiel as the shiny new toy he and his friends get to mess with. Castiel has had his fair share of bullies in the past, but nothing like this. He's never felt this way about a bully, or anyone for that matter, before. Maybe something's wrong with him, that he could feel so attracted to someone who makes his everyday life hell. But then again, he sees the way Dean looks at him sometimes. And there's a lot more to Dean Winchester than meets the eye.

#destiel fanfic recs #destiel fanfiction #destiel #dean and cas #dean x castiel #dean is bi #dean winchester #deancas #castiel #castiel winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #alternate universe #books and literature

[magpiefngrl]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you for the tag @hoko-onchi-writes! Great way to spend a lazy Sunday morning :)

Username: magpie_fngrl

1. How many works do you have on A03? 54

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 392,045

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've mostly written drarry. I'd started as a pynch writer (TRC) and lately I've written a bunch in other fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? all drarry:

dirtynumbangelboy

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy

The Full Monty

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There,

9 ½ Days

5. Do you respond to comments? I do my best. I made a decision back when I posted a lot of stuff and got more comments than I could handle that I would only reply to the comments on the last chapter of a multi-chapter fic. Other than that, I try my best to reply to everyone.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I wrote a Major Character Death fic (The Death You Carry). Can't get angstier than that.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics end happy, but now that I think of it they're mostly HFN in romance-genre speak. Happy For Now aka the fic ends with them as a couple, kissing or touching for example, the Ever After is implied but not explicit. Two fics which end with H/D living together, and thus more committed to each other, are Hush, darling and The Boy Who Died. These are also angstier than my other fics, which makes the happy ending sweeter imo.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se. I've received demanding comments ("Can you write more? Another sex scene? And make it mpreg?") or comments like "I like your story but I can't read on because you have X topping". Not hate. There was a time, though, that I got several comments about how stupid/annoying/an arsehole Harry is, which reflect an attitude I used to see in fandom, where Draco is perfect and Harry is a bumbling fool and the minute he says something sharp to Draco he becomes an arsehole and should be screamed at. Needless to say, I hate this kind of interpretation. I deleted a couple of these comments, I just couldn't have them on my page. It was the reason I de-activated comments on all my fics for some time.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The sexy kind, I hope LOL

Serious answer: I have written explicit sex scenes, although I tend to be more vague rather than write a play-by-play description of what is happening. I mean, there is some of that, but not as detailed as it can be. I don't know how to explain it better in English, sorry. Anyhow, I love sex scenes, I love reading them, I enjoy the challenge of writing them, and I think what I like best in what I read (and thus I try to emulate) is when a sex scene reveals the emotional state of these two people rather than just say whose dick does what.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't! A couple of years ago I got a few asks about wangxian and drarry meeting up and although it was fun to reply to the asks and imagine how it would take place, I don't think I'll ever write it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Someone screenshot dnab and posted it on instagram. The whole 40k fic. If there have been others, I don't know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't and I'm not sure I could. I don't think my writing process would lead to successful collaborations. If I were to imagine it, the easiest for me would be that each writer has their own POV (I'd write Draco, the other person Harry, for instance) and we'd have a general idea but not a strict outline and we'd write it like a relay race: I'd post something, they'd write the next part, then me etc.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I tend to move on from fandoms, so it used to be pynch, then drarry, now wangxian. I don't have a lot of time for fandom these days so I'm not as obsessed with a ship as I used to be. I love all my babies equally.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic with a magical university of sorts, or rather 8th year but they'd be more like uni students than normal school students, and Draco was a Veela whose mate was Astoria. Not sure where it would all go, but well--it won't go anywhere now, because I have so many other WIPs that take precedent.

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm decent at dialogue and I've been told my fics have great atmosphere. Occasionally I write an unusual turn of phrase and people comment on that. My fics are fairly short, but I've been told that they have a lot more story than the reader expected because of the word count, and I think that's because I edit ruthlessly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting is my main problem. I pants my stories and it takes me forever to figure out what happens next. I also lack confidence and doubt everything while writing, which isn't a writing weakness exactly, but it does affect my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's cool. I like it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Raven Cycle. I was mad about pynch.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Currently 9 ½ Days but I have a very, very soft spot for The Boy Who Died.

Tagging: @lettersbyelise @lucifergraced @coriesocks @wolfpants @julcheninred @nerdherderette @lqtraintracks if they wanna!

#tagged #writer questions #thank you hoko!

[foxes-that-run]

Boyfriends

A self aware take on Boyfriends, including Harry and boyfriends of those he cares for. The lyric video features a lone swan, a symbol of commitment. Harry was with a swan in every image for his May 20 2019 Gucci Campaign, released the week Boyfriends was first written. Harry and Taylor were pictured with a Swan on her birthday when they went to The Lakes. Harry who has spoken about the song with pride and deference. Let's start with the gorgeous first take:

Harry said to Zane Lowe it was written at the end of Fine Line:

"There was an extra week where we wrote some stuff, wrote Adore you, TPWK and we were recording Lights Up. [...] At the end of that session everyone left and I started writing Boyfriends and it almost felt like OK there is a version where we get this ready to put on this album, and I think there was something about it where it felt like it's going to have it's time. [...] I am learning so much by saying it [...] It is both acknowledging my own behaviour, looking at behaviour I have witnessed and looking at I grew up with a sister, so it's like watching her date people and watching friends date people and you know people don't treat each other nicely sometimes. And it turned out about boyfriends because I started paying it and saying boyfriends. [...]Just say what you think of boyfriends.

Harry was in the studio from 15 May 2019, the Swan Gucci Campaign was released on he and Taylors anniversary that week. It was also 2 weeks after Me! Was released. When speaking about Boyfriends Harry constantly mentions these other songs. They have a common theme about the impact of the behaviour of others on his relationships and self, true his nature it is subtle and gentle:

Adore you's video asks fans to respect the partner(s) of his choosing, in contrast to fan reaction who he dates.

TPWK, as the title says, Harry told Rolling Stone " It made me uncomfortable at first, [...] I feel like that song opened something that’s been in my core.”

Lights Up - to Rolling Stone Harry spoke about stepping out from 1D on his own, the lyrics of "I'm not ever going back" and "All the lights couldn't put out the dark running through my heart", link the experience of the band and fandom to mental health and knowing who he is, rather than who others want him to be.

To me, coming at the end of that session adds to Harry taking ownership his role in failed relationships in that time by being unaware of the impact his 1D persona. fan treatment of his partner(s) and emotional unavailability. Taylor has also described her anxiety dating him in Slut! and Gold Rush. However, as Harry said, it is not limited to himself. On its release at Coachella, (3 years after it was written) "To Boyfriends Everywhere, F*** you". This was weeks after Taylor wrote You're Losing Me about Joe. His face to the end of this is everything:

Setlist and Tracklisting

Harry placed Boyfriends on HH between Satellite and LOML. Harry stopped playing Boyfriends after November 15 2022, when he played it live with Ben Harper at the end of the L.A. Forum residency. It was only played once in 2023, at Wembley June 16. The next night was the only time he played Sweet Creature since 2018. When it was on the setlist it proceeded LOML or Lights Up.

Ben Harper

To Variety Ben Harper said: "It was a wonderful recording session — one of the most memorable and most musical I’ve ever been a part of. [...] Harry invited me to stick around because he wanted to finish the song right then and there. To get to watch Harry in his process was eye-opening, and I learned a lot. [...] Yeah, I mean, he orchestrated the vocal harmonies like a classical composer, spot on, note for note. He just stacked them perfectly in pitch, one better than the next, and it was really eye-opening to see somebody step on the mic and have the parts orchestrated in his head. I’ve never seen anything like it actually."

Lyrics

Hoo Niaga ti ta kcab er'uoy, loof Boyfriends They think you're so easy They take you for granted They don't know they're just misunderstanding you You, you're back at it again

The opening is Backwards 'Ooh Fool, you’re back at it again'. Sunflower Vol 6 also opens with 'Sunflower' backwards. I think of this as about a backwards life, success followed by a normal life.

The first verse describes how boyfriends take their partner for granted and misunderstand.

Weakened When you get deep in He starts secretly drinking It gets hard to know what he's thinking You love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin You, you, you still open the door

The second verse describes where partner has met their guard down some boyfriends withdraw, and start drinking. Harry has sung of this before in Half the world away “I’ve started drinking”. Harry has mentioned drinking in other songs, but HTWA has a similar meaning, of drinking in secret to cope.

Harry touches on common themes in his discography:

Not communicating, similar to MMIH “we don’t talk about it”

Not getting over this person - Getting under you skin is a reference to Taylor’s The Lakes: “What should be over burrowed under my skin in heart-stopping waves of hurt” and IWYW “You always knew how to push my buttons”

Doors - here Harry's muse is opening the door, Harry has 7 songs that refer to knocking, opening or not opening doors. Taylor also has 13 songs about Harry and doors.

You're no closer to him Now you're halfway home Only calling you when Don't wanna be alone Oh, and you go Why? You don't know

While the first 2 verses the Boyfriend was uncommunicative, emotionally unavailable and didn't consider their partner. In the third verse the boyfriend and partner are learning from failed relationships, but still no closer. Now the boyfriend is only calling when they want company, rather than to be there for their partner.

Halfway home: The X Account 'I am Halfway Home' was started to promote HH. The term could have several meanings:

a Halfway house is a place to reintegrate into society from an institution.

The song is a play on words of having no more emotional closeness despite being physically halfway home, and

Halfway home is the name of a documentary about the toll war takes on veterans and their families.

Home is an important theme to Harry's work, Home meaning being with the right person rather than a physical place. To me, this lyric is Harry is saying that despite his growth since leaving the band and break down of this relationship they are still not emotionally closer.

Boyfriends Are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading And you know the game's never ending You, you lay with him as you stay in the daydream You feel a fool You're back at it again

The closing of the song is a sense that the boyfriend is being a player, not communicating.

But Harry's muse gives in, wanting to stay in a dream. Slut! has a similar idea of choosing to stay in a love haze when you know it's not going to last "Got lovestruck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick, all over my bed / Love to think you'll never forget / Handprints in wet cement". Harry also says this in Daydreaming: "Livin' in a daydream"

Harry and Taylor have both used 'fool' in reference to their relationship before (in Fools Gold, Cardigan, Illicit Affairs, Joker and the Queen and in Long Pond Taylor said it 7 times about James in Betty.)

Finally, it refers to the cyclical nature of their relationship with 'back at it again' as OOTW 'built to fall apart and back together' and Style "when we go crashing down we come back every time' and many other songs.

#Youtube #harry styles #boyfriends #haylor #harry’s house

[beardedmrbean]

https://www.wired.com/story/torswats-swatting-arrest/ TLDR, a teenager who regularly swatted people has been arrested.

Prior to these high-profile swats, a relentless campaign from different, potentially foreign, swatting groups targeted hundreds of schools and universities around the US over the past year and a half. Last May, an officer in Danvers, Massachusetts, accidentally fired his service weapon while responding to a school swat. In February, an officer in Saginaw Township, Michigan, rammed his vehicle through the school’s locked door to get inside the building following a swatting call.

"Hello, I am going to commit a mass shooting in the name of Satan," a voice with a fake Southern accent drawled to a police dispatcher in Seminole County, Florida, on May 12, 2023. The caller spoke slowly and deliberately when he told the dispatcher that he was armed with pipe bombs and an AR-15 rifle, walking into a mosque to kill everyone he saw. The call ends with the sound of gunshots likely sourced from a video game. That day, the same voice-over-IP phone number called threats into at least two other mosques in Florida, according to police records obtained by WIRED. That week, in a private Telegram chat, an individual operating the Torswats Telegram channel took responsibility for sending police officers scrambling to as many as 20 schools in Washington state and four historically Black colleges and universities in Texas. Audio from 911 calls reviewed by WIRED and interviews with local law enforcement confirm that many if not all of the Washington state calls were made by someone sounding like an individual associated with the Torswats account. Some used a similar script, referencing an AR-15 rifle and pipe bombs. The individual’s calls to Washington schools in May affected at least 18,116 students and cost taxpayers $271,173 in lost instructional time, estimates Don Beeler, CEO of TDR Technology Solutions, a company that builds school surveillance tools and tracks and analyzes the costs of school threats.

__________________________________________

oh he's in for a whole big world of felony convictions, if he's lucky the states will hand everything over to the feds to prosecute, little less lucky the various states will refrain from filing charges and let Florida where he's off to now take care of it, not lucky at all he'll spend the next decade on trial

#anonymous