#i made myself sad while making this

[gender-not-found-404-ao3]

it may be time to put the Coahuila and Texas twin headcanon onto the table 👀👀

AAAAAAA JUST GOT OUT OF SCHOOL SO BRAINROT TIME!

I read about Texan history fairly recently since i was writing a practice draft about him and suddenly the headcanon gods gave me this wonderful idea I'm excited to share with y'all.

Texas and Coahuila were fraternal twins who were born a few years before the Mexican territory of "Coahuila y Tejas" was founded (around 1817). Neither of them can remember if they were born of a human mother or if they just popped into existence, like many other personifications (i have another whole ass headcanon for this one)

As twins, they both share similarities. They both share the same button nose and the same tanned skin. They both have freckles around their cheeks (although Texas's are more noticeable) and they both have a lisp that comes out when they're angry as fuck.

But as people, they have their differences as well. Coahuila is a girl while Texas is a boy. Coahuila is the "eldest" while Texas was the "youngest." Coahuila's eyes are the brightest honey eyes you'll ever see, while Texas's are more of a smooth, chocolate colour.

Coahuila wanted her people to be free, for them to live as people instead of slaves.

Texas wanted to keep his slaves, and he wanted to be free himself.

Coahuila was always proud and loud to be a Mexican state. Texas never thought of himself as one in the first place.

One night, he had a decision to make. Either keep pushing for American statehood or for independence, breaking their relationship beyond repair, or to free his slaves and to join his sister and the rest of the Mexican states.

The next day, October 2, 1835, the first battle against Mexican authorities for the Texan Revolution started.

April 22, 1836. He had to say his goodbyes to Coahuila. He headed towards his first home, trying his best to ignore the sting in his heart while doing so.

Instead, he was greeted into an empty shell of the house he knew, the only two objects left resting in the once living room. The rocking horse that he got as a gift for his 5th birthday from a local carpenter, and the cowboy hat that his sister made him for his 12th birthday. A small letter was on the interior of his hat, right besides the small, carved "C - For T" on the leather.

As a tear tolled down his cheek, reality hit him of what he really lost in the midst of the war. But there was no backing out now.

Nowadays, they're on tiny bit better terms. Not too much as the carefree siblings they once were, but they don't send representatives when they know the other is gonna be present in any context imaginable. Texas stopped hiding his birthmark from everyone, and Coahuila doesn't deny that they're blood related anymore. It's tiny steps, but it still matters at the end of the day.

In the holidays, New Mexico and Arizona tend to seek out after Texas and Utah started to bring him in whenever Christmas came around. Coahuila makes sure to take out her prettiest clothes and her sharpest eyeliner and makes sure to bring Nuevo Leon with her to party all night and day.

Sometimes, they both sit down outside on a dark field, under the light of the moonlight, staring at the horizon, hoping that wherever the other is, they're well fed and warm and safe. They both hope the other is okay, since they can't say that for themselves.

.

This was supposed to be a short and happy headcanon what happened— NEWAYS— have fun with this y'all :}

#welcome to the table #wttt #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #wttt texas #headcanon #i made myself sad while making this #come get your food y'all

[evilkaeya]

Do you guys think Chuuya ever went to Odasaku's grave. Do you think he stood there, unsure whether to curse or laugh or cry because what the fuck, what the fuck. He didn't even know the man, other than that he made Dazai want to die less, and yet, and yet-- nice things don't stick around when you're in port mafia. Maybe it's Odasaku's fault maybe it isn't, Chuuya didn't fucking know. He didn't fucking care because deep down, he always knew Dazai was going to leave one day. He just didn't know it would be this soon.

#do u guys think he blamed odasaku for a while. for being the reason dazai left #and then blamed mori for a while. because he made him leave #how long do u guys think it took him to accept that dazai left because he was destined to leave. unlike him. #wow i love making myself sad #skk

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[xviruserrorx]

MerlinRewatch2023 -> "Diamond Of The Day II" The Bad List ~ Masterlist [Prev <-]

#bbc merlin #merlinedit #merlinwatch2023 #viruscreates #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #guinevere pendragon #morgana pendragon #sir leon #sir gwaine #bbcm eira #sir percival #sir mordred #merlin 5x13 #merlin s5 #edit #🥲 i made myself sad while making this #i didnt finish doing my rewatch but i had to skip forward for todays because i matched the song perfectly #im gonna do another tomorrow and then ill do part one of dotd the day after... hopefully #happy anniversary everyone 😉❤️

[blubujollyrancher]

that relatable moment when you assumed the girl you used to care for perished in a tragic lab ablaze incident and only realized she still lived when you stumble upon her years later after you've erased yourself from everyone's memories and now she no longer remembers you

#collei #scaramouche #wanderer #genshin impact #art #ougggggh. oughghhhhhh #okay so my throught process here was that they met when collei was still in the lab #and overtime he begrudgingly came to care for her despite his inner matra of “dont get attached dont get attached” #(he got attached) #and when the lab went vwoosh he assumed she died along with everyone else #and it made him even WORSE #so when he erases himself from irminsul he assumes everyone he once cared for and cared for him are dead or gone #and sometime after he becomes wanderer nahida sends him to ghandharva ville for some bullshit idk #secretly she knew collei was still alive but was like. how do i tell him this. okay ill just let him find out #so he arrives and the first person to greet him is this little girl with the same eyes and hair and scars of the girl he used to care for #and while hes already REELING shes just goes #“hi! im trainee forest ranger collei! master tighnari sent me to collect you. follow me please!!” #and hes just standing there bc. its her #and she doesnt remember him #SCREAMING CRYING IM MAKING MYSELF SAD

[todayisafridaynight]

no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀 #excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ... #him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him... #this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do .... #and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

[scaledbackandisolated14]

The stomach in my brain throws up onto the page.

Does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name?

#twenty øne piløts #tyler joseph #josh dun #twentyonepilots #regional at best #forest #rab #vent post #hidden meaning in tags #why is college so hard #is there anything that makes me special #ahhhhhhh #*screaming* #*crying* #is there a tag limit #i feel like im going insane #made this post while I was doing an assignment where I talk about myself and my future and got sad

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #didnt mean to write this much about the concept but i really am so... #jealous almost. id love to be able to read my fic as a reader. #because it's tailor made to my tastes Exactly. #and i know it's good writing. i surprise myself even sometimes with how good things end up. #it's never a doubt in my mind that i'll make things good. even the harder things . while bringing trepitation . i know i'll figure them out. #the relationship a fic writer has with their own fic is so... yeah. intimate. but still somehow emotionally removed. #but thats how it goes with any art piece i think #the creator sees all the bits and pieces that went into it. remembers the thoughts as they made it #they know their work better than Anyone Else. but they'll never be able to experience it like an outsider. #is my fic helping someone through a rough breakup? is it something someone rereads when theyre sad? #is it a fic that people stay up way too late reading? the fic that someone discovers and consumes all within a day? #that voracious love. ive experienced it many times with other fics. but i can never experience it with my own. #but in the end. that's okay. i will just continue to do as i wish with it. and maybe people will continue to like it. #it is my goal to make a fic that people will never forget. what that may mean differs depending on the person. #i want it to be the best fic it can be. and i will make it so with every brick i lay down. #puttering about for days and weeks and months. it's Most of what i think about. it's my impact on the world. #and it's sitting for 3 hours after work in the storage room writing until im shivering but Satisfied with a productive writing session #it's writing some of my most emotional scenes while sitting for an hour on the toilet #no one else knows what the toilet written scenes are. but I Do. such is my relationship with my fic. #(the focus in the Quiet Rooms cannot be underestimated. the bathroom is indeed one of the Quiet Rooms lol) #& man. ive rambled so much now. but i just love my fic so very much #i'll never be an ITNL reader. and that's okay. because i'm its writer. & that's a status that No One Else can boast. #even those people who state that it's their Favorite favorite cant rival the intimacy of my own relationship with it. #I Am Its Writer and that means so very much to me. #i... really do love my fic y'all

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

[w1tchybusiness]

i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.

#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up #to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart #that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is #everything about it makes me incredibly autistic #from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers #to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players #and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale #it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby #and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance #and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell #SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD #IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO #SPOILER WARNING #i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game #i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m #i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about #fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible #for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling #the story really spoke to me on a deeper level #and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result #so to do absolutely everything that i could #to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail? #and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe? #felt like i got kicked in the stomach #i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN. #which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful #but MOTIVATING. #my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself #i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra #and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance

[maletofujoshi]

one time in art club last year we got to make whatever with some leftover clay and cookie cutters, and like. me and a friend made ducks but like Just a duck would be boring so we decided to make one duck beheaded and one a mutant with two heads

the friend with the beheaded duck died badly so now this object has like. magnified importance to me as. essentially a memento. maybe the beheaded duck was cursed? in turn an extra head probably means more life. which is nice for me.

#i’m going to be a year older than him soon which is weird to think about. #when he died i kinda blamed myself for a while for like… not being a better friend #in the last month he like. made advances toward me and like. he kinda avoided me after i turned him down #and we were like fast friends and had gotten close but like. i didn’t make an effort to reach out then #i don’t think his decisions were my fault. he was just in a position where like. he kinda didn’t have any path to a happy adulthood. #but i still think it wouldve made a difference if i had made the effort to cross over like. the baby gap that is friend awkwardness. rip #. sorry if this is sad to post about :( i’m not like in despair it’s just been weighing on me a bit

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[mai-sau]

I'm coming, wait for me I hear the walls repeating The falling of my feet and It sounds like drumming

And I am not alone I hear the rocks and stones Echoing my song I'm coming

a fingon playlist (listen here on spotify!)

eng translations for all i wanna do, shim el yasmine, leo, inni mneeh, cavalry

#fingon #findekano #russingon #cause i made this fingon centric but oh the vibes. they weedled their way in #i also might have. made this a sister playlist of sorts to maedhros' from a while back #playlist #fanmix #silmarillion #i ended up making myself so fucken sad #lookin at fingon quotes #also behold!! orpheus coding!!! ASFJGSJGKLK

[rainbow-beanie]

My favorite screenshots from hazbin hotel episode 3, the weird but cute radio demon part two

Rip. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seemed to me that alastor might have been looking for approval with the whole “yes yes I’ve been apsent for some time, I’m sure you’ve ALL been wondering” I just have this feeling. Also the fact that the radio feedback had faded away while he was talking. What’s more, this isn’t the only time this happens. Not in this episode but still.

“No, not really.” The shocked face here speaks VOLUMES (pun not intended) it feels like he wanted someone in that room to at least admit that his absence had been noticed. But here there’s none of that. I’m thinking that alastor may have stayed at the hotel too long, cause at least with him there people actually talk to him and not completely ignore his existence. If you watch carefully during the rest of this scene no one actually talks to him afterwards. You could justify that it’s because it’s a meeting and thus there wouldn’t exactly be any time for chit chat, but I still think there might be something here to think about.

“Oooooh, tasty!” Alastor, what in the fresh hell does that mean?

Pictures of the besties!! I hope they’re still besties at least, we haven’t heard Rosie talk yet, but I hope she and alastor are close friends. And not anything like how mimzy was

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #alastor the radio demon #rosie hazbin hotel #I made myself sad while making this post #tw gore #forgot this oops

[mokeonn]

I love that feeling when you're using a skill you're not confident in, and then it hits you just how much you improved without realizing it. Low self-esteem be damned, I can do this skill better than the average person!

#simon says #i was writing and it turns out i did a good writing #so im finally getting more confident with it #had an aha moment when i was trying to discuss a question i had #like my nagging brain wanted to rewrite the whole thing because i was nitpicky internet person-ing myself. #this idea that if the story isn't airtight it will be dragged once i make it public kept eating at me #but while i was discussing what i should rewrite i ended up realizing it was airtight. i just wasn't confident in myself and my choices #which made me sad because i kept doubting myself. and it made me happy because woohoo i did a good writing.

[clewis]

sometimes i think about all the cute and fluffy and nerdy and domestic clewis moments we could have had in season 3 if angus didn’t leave the show and i always make myself sad

#there… I made myself sad #h2o just add water #clewis #but seriously tho!! #i love the crumbs we got to see but i needed MORE 🥺 #like… the fact that lewis basically moved to the sertori’s living room!! he just... hangs around there even when cleo isn't home!! #all the son-in-law / father-in-law shenanigans with don #them being nerdy and doing science experiments and just working together as partners #them making out before the concerts and the way they look all smitten and flirty while he plays the drums and she's in the crowd!! #stuff like that you know... clewis just being together without the pining or drama #just being dumb teens in love #*we could've had it all* #🥲🥲🥲 #lewis leaving broke my tiny little heart all those years ago and i’m STILL! NOT! OVER! THIS!