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#i make myself go on walks and it doesn't make me feel better even though i love the places i go to
fabulouslygaybean · 1 year
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i wish i could tell people that ive got anxiety without them treating me like im some fragile little flower
#they always talk down to me like im a child or something too. even if we're the same age.#im not some soft and delicate thing that needs to be coddled ffs#my anxiety doesn't manifest as 'cute' stuttering or a sweet demeanor or me crying easily in public or smth#it means im too scared to talk to most people bc my body feels like its gonna explode#when im particularly stressed or anxious my stuttering can make it difficult for people to even understand what im saying#my hands get all clammy and gross and i look sweaty and flushed and people think i look like a creep because of it#im still loud and annoying and lively but also anxious 24/7#its so frustrating#im not some uwu soft boi because im filled with fucking anxiety#my anxiety isn't pretty or cute. it screws me over daily and just makes people treat me worse.#okay. rant over i think. gonna ramble about some slightly related stuff though.#i need to find a physical outlet for my anxiety i think. ive realized recently that whenever i go to events where i have to be active my -#- anxiety ends up being SO much better afterwards. like after concerts or festivals my anxiety is infinitely better#not gone completely obviously. but definitely better#its hard to find physical outlets that are enough for what i need though#short walks are fine but they dont do much for my anxiety. hikes also dont do much in my experience.#a gym is out of the question bc there's no way in hell my pre-everything trans ass is waltzing in there just to get stared at#team games are out of the question too bc i dislike all the ones at my school and they're not hosted for fun. they're a serious commitment.#concerts/fests work very well as i mentioned but they're pricey and its difficult to find bands i like that actually play in my state 😔#blegh. i need to find something. i might just try working out in my room or something to keep myself chill.
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Mr Confident - OP81
Summary: Oscar is a quietly confident man. But don't make the mistake of letting that quiet part mean he won't pursue someone he's interested in.
RB rookie driver!reader (Yuki is her teammate)
No part 2 request please
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The RB seat was changed so last minute. The grid had hardly got a chance to meet y/n. They had so many last minute things she needed to do. The only person who really got to know y/n before Bahrain's race weekend was Yuki as her teammate. Other than that she'd been pushed and pulled in every direction having to get photos and videos for the graphics done, seat fittings and media figured out.
She was somewhat of a mystery going into Thursdays media day and actually she'd somewhat clung onto to Yuki as a safety net.
Oscar couldn't help but notice her. Somehow they kept catching each other's gaze whenever in slightly close proximity to one another.
There's a time and a place to shoot his shot with y/n, which he figures there's no harm in doing.
He finally gets the opportunity after qualifying. She made it to Q2 and she is sort of just waiting for an interviewer to step up for her turn. Exactly like Oscar.
"Hey, finally get to talk to you." Oscar smiles making y/n look at him for a second before turning clearly confused that he's talking to her but the RB PR team member with her seems to pick up Oscar's intentions far before y/n does, nudges the young woman to speak.
"Oh-Oh-Ow, Caitlin." Y/n mumbles rubbing her ribs before smiling at Oscar. "Sorry, hi. I didn't realise you wanted to talk to me."
"Well, you're new. We had to meet at some point."
Actually Oscar has been in F1 for a year now and he's not sure he's even talked to everyone on the grid. He's certainly not gone out of his way to talk to people. This behaviour is not the norm for him.
"How are you feeling after your first quali?" Oscar asks making her laugh nervously.
"It could've been worse. I don't want to be cocky and get ahead of myself though." Y/n admits making Oscar smile.
"If it makes you feel any better, you can't possibly have a worse start than I did." Oscar assures her earning a small nod. "Q2 is already better than me."
"Now you're setting me up for failure...You were the best rookie in years." Y/n laughs before Oscar's comms girl catches his attention to move and he's forced to leave the conversation.
"We'll talk later."
Y/n smiles and nods before he steps away and she turns to Caitlin with wide eyes.
"What just happened?" Y/n whispers while Caitlin shrugs and pulls a face of excitement but equal confusion.
-
Oscar ends up not catching y/n before the end of the day, though he's a bit behind her and Yuki leaving the paddock and he sees her talking to Yuki waving her hands around as she speaks. Clearly another yapper has joined the paddock.
But he never catches them so he ends up relying on the driver's parade to catch her.
"How you feeling?" Oscar smiles walking up to her and catching his teammate's attention since aside from if he's by Lando's side or it's Logan, Oscar doesn't approach others. He gets approached by others.
"Yeah, first race." Lando states crashing the conversation since he's always happy to talk to someone new. "You excited?"
"A bit. Not sure what I can do from P14." Y/n laughs then sighing. "Maybe if you guys pit before me I'll get a good look at your rear wing."
Both the McLaren drivers laugh but Lando is suddenly dragged away by Carlos into a different conversation.
"Just have fun. No one really cares if you do well in your first race, all the team wants is to see that you can make it past the first corner."
"So if I don't then actually I'll not see the next race?" Y/n jokes then biting her the inside of her cheek. "So a clean and tidy race even outside of points is the goal."
"That's the goal." Oscar nods smiling at her. "If you do get the opportunity to give Max a puncture or force him wide and into the gravel. No one will be mad at you. I think he'd forgive you for it."
"You realise Helmut Marko would have my throat for that." Y/n laughs shaking her head. "Plus I have to keep it clean and tidy."
"True." Oscar smiles, the two just looking at each other for a couple beats before y/n hears her name and is called over by Laura.
As soon as she's gone, Lando returns smirking with Logan and Alex appearing.
"You and y/n are looking close." Lando comments then looking over Oscar's shoulder. "Should Yuki and I feel threatened the two of you are plotting to be future teammates?"
"They're the future of Red Bull." Alex comments jokingly then turning to look over at y/n. "I've not actually spoken to her. What's she like?"
"She's cool. Funny. I think she's making a lot of jokes to cover up some nerves about the race." Oscar shrugs making Alex and Lando exchange a look while Logan smiles.
Y/n ends up caught with Yuki, Pierre and Charles after her interview and Oscar can't help but feel like he had 2 steps forwards but 1 step back.
"What are we looking at?" Max asks appearing just as they're about to all get off as the parade comes to an end.
"Nothing." Oscar states briskly moving with Logan actually following him.
"You got some confidence with her bro." Logan comments making Oscar look at him for a moment. "It's a good thing."
Oscar chooses not to comment as he notices y/n yapping to Yuki yet again. He can just catch her words and what they're laughing about, it's apparently something that her engineer said about her qualifying. He didn't pick up what.
It's annoying not because he's jealous, but he wants to hear that stuff from her too. He wants to make her laugh more, she sounds nice when she was laughing during the parade.
"Oh bro, you're down bad already." Logan laughs patting the Aussie's back. "You should just ask her on a date."
Another no comment moment.
-
Since neither of them got on the podium, after the weigh bridge they're whisked off to media duties.
But Oscar is surprised to find a sweaty y/n rushing from the media pen towards him as he stands with Karun and Naomi. Though y/n is too lit up to even notice he's mid-interview with a mic in his hand. Not that her comms girl can rush to stop her interrupting fast enough to actually beat her to reaching Oscar.
"I didn't crash!" Y/n exclaims with his mic managing to just pick up her voice while he hugs her back with a laugh.
"No, you didn't." Oscar smiles before placing her down as Caitlin hisses at her.
"He's in an interview."
"Oh-Oh my gosh! Sorry." Y/n gasps nearly yanking herself away from Oscar's hold.
"No, no. Join us. I'm sure Oscar wouldn't mind." Karun smiles since they always want to hear from rookies and y/n is of special interest to the whole world.
Especially after she's just ran at the notorious introvert of the grid.
"How are you feeling after your first race?" Naomi asks while Oscar just watches y/n glow, she's flushed from the heat of the cockpit. Her eyes are bright with excitement and she's just beaming her happiness onto everyone.
"Amazing. Oh my gosh just...the best day of my life. Oh fuck, gonna-oh I'm not supposed to swear. I'm so sorry!" Y/n gasps slapping her hand over her mouth as Caitlin covers her face at the fact they're both going to be told off for it. "Sorry. Anyway, sorry. I was about to cry but I'm fine. Happy tears."
"It's great to see you so happy. I mean the world was definitely watching you, excited to see how you'd do. You did great. P11. That's just outside the points. In an RB on your first race. That's amazing." Naomi states while she grins nodding.
"Yeah, it was...honestly just the best day of my life." Y/n smiles then tilting her head lightly. "I loved every single second...but I do feel like someone used me as a bit of a punch bag."
Everyone is so focused on y/n that they don't actually notice Oscar just stood smiling listening to her as she talks. Caitlin does but she also has to intervene since y/n was never meant to be in the Sky interview.
"Oh, I think y/n's being asked to leave." Karun states making y/n look at him for a moment.
"Thanks for having me guys, I gotta go." Y/n smiles placing the mic down before hugging Oscar again then rushing off with Caitlin guiding her away.
Y/n wasn't actually meant to do any media outside the media pen. They want her in for the debrief, though even on her way=
"What do you think Oscar? An impressive show from the rookie?" Naomi asks making Oscar nod instantly.
"Definitely. I mean significantly better than my debut." Oscar confirms making them both laugh before he's given the gesture by his comms girl to move. "Thanks for having me guys."
After his own debrief Oscar manages to get to RB's unit and catch a team member to ask if they know if y/n has left or not. When they say no. He decides to...wait. Obviously to continue her celebration that was accidentally caught in his interview post-race.
"Hey, what you doing over here?" Lando questions having spotted his teammate in the emptying paddock.
"Just...y/n came over earlier while I was in an interview and I didn't get to properly congratulate her. Someone said she's still here and I'm not in a rush." Oscar shrugs earning a hum but whatever Lando is wanting to say, he keeps himself restrained and instead.
"Alright, I'll see you later mate." Lando nods then heading off.
Of course he also gets past by Logan but the American only glances at the unit he's outside of and just shouts a goodnight to his friend as he passes by.
When y/n appears, she looks pretty exhausted and no surprise. The first full race can be wearing and it's a night race anyway. He's also a little relieved to see Yuki isn't with her.
"Hey, what you doing out here?" Y/n smiles as her trainer drops back.
"I figured I didn't get to properly congratulate you earlier. So I wanted to make sure I made up for it." Oscar states earning a small smile from the young woman. "What?"
"Nothing...it's just very sweet of you." Y/n shrugs as they walk alongside each other. "So straight to bed for you?"
"Yeah, but I was...going to ask, do you have plans tomorrow?"
"Plans? Flying to Jeddah." Y/n laughs making him laugh and nod.
"Yeah, that makes sense. What about when you land in?"
"Um. No plans other than probably be...forced to workout." Y/n laughs lightly then hugging herself. "Are you offering to change that?"
"I was going to...yes."
"Ok. Well, maybe you should have my number."
-
Y/n smiles as she sits on the floor in the hotel gym, looking at Oscar enter since he'd asked to join her in working out in Jeddah.
"You wake up so early." Oscar comments jokingly while she smiles.
"Tell me about it. It's Dakota who tries to kill me off with this stuff." Y/n laughs looking back at her trainer who just gives her the finger earning a grin.
"You'd be calling me a bad trainer if I let your neck get weak." Dakota states which she only hums at. "I do need to grab a couple things for you. Are you alright to start with Oscar and I'll not be long?"
Y/n doesn't even get a word out before he trainer has practically fled the room thinking he's being subtle about trying to be a wingman.
"What does he think I'm going to do now we're alone?" Oscar jokes making her smile and continue to stretch.
"Tell me McLaren gossip probably. The man is a fiend for a juicy piece of gossip." Y/n smiles then facing him and laughing likely. "Oh you look so tired...I feel bad. Did you even eat breakfast?"
"No."
"Hold on." Y/n smiles standing up and moving to her phone then quickly typing something. "What do you usually eat? Dakota can grab you something. He'll love any excuse to leave us unsupervised for longer."
Dakota does practically scream through the text message back that he'll absolutely grab Oscar some breakfast along with actually giving her instructions of what to do for her workout.
By the time Dakota is back, both Oscar and y/n have been goofing off and laughing about trying to help each other with their workouts.
"What have you two been doing?" Dakota questions but y/n is already laughing to hard to answer wiping at tears that have fallen from her laughter.
"She tried to do the neck excises for me and she broke it." Oscar laughs as Dakota sigh pinching the bridge of his nose in a grimace.
-
Edits had already started to appear on social media of Oscar seemingly constantly trying to be around y/n and the interview moment in Bahrain where he was very visibly look at her in completely adoration. Not to mention that she literally threw herself on him.
Going into Jeddah, the whole world sees the growing impossibly closer. Though there's not so much confirmation of a relationship in any physical way that the public or media see. It doesn't stop them from assuming and fans at the track do try to ask both of them but they both pretend they just don't hear it.
Of course behind doors and out of prying eyes. They're not quite so hidden.
Right now after the end of Friday, y/n is in Oscar's hotel room while he watches her patter around. She's in a pair of pretty short shorts and a Hugo t-shirt since her and Yuki now get free clothes from Hugo.
"You know, if I ever get the opportunity to snatch yours or Lando's seat in McLaren, I'm so taking it. You guys get the nicest rooms." Y/n giggles as she puts her phone down with some music filling the room before she rushes and jumps onto the bed where he's been lying just watching her with a lazy smile. "Probably need to prove myself a little more."
"You've came into F1 just as qualified as I was." Oscar smiles as she crawls over to straddle him and he wastes no time sitting up to close the space between them, kissing her and slowly pulling her down over him, feeling her smile into the kiss leaves a warmth of satisfaction in Oscar's chest.
"Imagine the fans saw us now." Y/n whispers earning a light laugh.
"Mmm scandal." Oscar jokes while she moves to kiss his neck. "I think they might've figured it out."
"Yeah...But we don't feed the masses." Y/n smiles making hum grin at her.
"No we don't." Oscar laughs then sighing as he looks at her for a moment. "I'm ok keeping you to myself."
"I'm ok with that too."
Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03 @harrysdimple05 @mellowarcadefun @cixrosie @scopeiguess
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russellsppttemplates · 2 months
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I'm always over the moon (Lando Norris)
A look into your and Lando's little life moments
Note: english is not my first language. It's fluffy, so you know I pratically melted (and am now feeling single in about seventeen different levels)✨️
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: mentions accident drop of a glass and possibility of injury
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog
Today's training session was particularly hard, Jon having Lando run a considerable amount of kilometres more than the usual distance followed by a weights session. By the time he was finished his cryotherapy session, he was more than ready to go home and snuggle up to you in the sofa.
Setting his keys on the little bowl by the door, Lando left his shoes on the coat cabinet by the door before walking to the ensuite bathroom where he heard noise from.
"I'm home, baby", he said, crossing the corner and resting his body on the side of the door, watching you rub product on your face.
"Hey, Lan", you smiled at him through the mirror, putting the lid on the pot you were using and storing it away.
Approaching him, you laced your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the curls ay the nape of his neck, "how was your session?", you wondered before kissing his lips.
"It was a killer, Jon set out to push me to the limit today", he hummed, hands finding your waist and holding your body close to his, "and you?", he checked.
"I worked all day, finally finished the prototypes for the next Quadrant campaign, then I worked out and I was just finishing my shower when you arrived", you added.
"I should've come home earlier, I could have joined you in there", he smirked, lowering his head to your neck and kissing the skin softly, earning your giggles as you squirmed.
"You're tickling me", you smiled, curling yourself closer against him, "but it's alright, baby, we'll do it another time".
When you separated yourself from his slightly, Lando noticed what you were wearing, "ugh, baby, I don't know what would be better, getting home when you were in the shower or this", he complimented.
"What do you mean?", you scrunched your eyebrows, looking down at your outfit. Because you had moisturised your whole body, from head to toe, after your workout, you decided to put on your tiny pyjamas shorts and one of Lando's t-shirts, the bottom piece fitting your thighs loosely while his t-shirt fit snug on your hips and chest, the fabric leaving little to the imagination. Even though he knew everything it kept away, he loved the way your curvilinear body looked in his t-shirt.
"I love it when you wear my clothes, they look so good on you, too god even", he nibbled on your ear lobe, hands tapping your thighs so you knew to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.
"I thought you were too tired, baby", you brushed the curls away from his eyes, "I am, but that doesn't mean I won't spend the evening glued to you", he winked, carrying you to the sofa in the living room, laying you both down and wrapping you both in a blanket.
"Can't have you feeling cold, baby", he mumbled, fixing the blanket before his hand travelled under the t-shirt and settled on your tummy, making you hum in content, "I love you, baby", you cooed.
.
"Alright, let's get to work!", Lando clapped after setting the last box on the living room floor.
When you moved all of the things you wanted to Monaco, Lando insisted you should bring your favourite books, reasoning that the apartment should also have some of your things instead of just his helmets for decoration. So, three boxes were shipped with your favourite book collections and stand alones and, you and Lando took the afternoon to organise them.
"I get this can be boring for you, Lan, I can do it myself if you want to go stream or just game", you added, kissing his cheek lovingly.
"Absolutely not, baby, I want to help you! So, how do you want this?", he asked as he looked at what was in the boxes, "do you want to do this by colour? Genre? Date? The ones you've read and the ones you haven't read yet", he suggested.
"We can go a bit with the colour schemes you already have with the helmets", you tried, looking over at the colour palette the books made up.
Wiping the shelves one last time, you sat on the floor and handed the books over to your boyfriend, guiding him through the order and way you wanted to display them.
"Oh, I remember this one - I read it to you the first time I spent the night at your place! You didn't want to seem weird and admit you needed to read a little before going to bed and thought you could go without it for one night!", he smiled at the memory, "Little did you know that it was another one of the things that attracted me to you and I was more than happy to read to you", he winked, leaving you flustered as you handed him the next book, "very smooth, Mr. Norris", you blushed.
"I like to keep you on your toes", he chuckled, "next, there's room for that big collection there", he pointed to the eight books that shared the same design, "might be a tight squeeze, but I think it's fine", he muttered as you handed him the books.
By the time you finished, the living room looked like a good mixture of you and Lando. The books added a pop of colour and softer tone along with the new picture frames you scattered.
"It looks great", Lando said, pulling you closer to him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, "our home is coming together nicely", he kissed the side of your head.
.
"They can spend the day, of course I don't mind", you smiled as you out the cutlery away in the drawer.
"It's your home too, baby, just wanted to make sure you're fine with it", Lando reasoned as he wiped the counter.
It was still weird to refer to the apartment as your home, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Closing the door and moving to the cups drying on the counter, you grabbed a tea towell and started drying them before setting them in the cupboard.
"I'll make sure to not make too much noise, or I can go and work at the café down the street, it's - shoot!", you cursed as the glass slipped from your hold, falling on the floor and shattering into little pieces.
"Careful, darling, you might hurt yourself more", Lando urged, stretching his arms and helping you stand where there were no glass shards.
"I'm sorry, I thought the towell wasn't that slippery", you said as Lando scanned your hands for any cuts or injuries, moving to your feet and ankles.
"It's okay, baby, I don't care about the glass, I care about you", he kissed your fingers, "there's a little graze here", he pointed to the small nick on your skin, "go wash it off while gather these", he kissed your cheek and looked for the broom.
Making sure he had sweeped all of it and then passing the vacuum cleaner just to make sure, Lando finished putting the glasses away as you stood by the door, "it's fine,Y/N, we'll go to IKEA and get a new one", he conforted, "now, are we ready for bed?", he wondered as he held your hand as you walked to the bedroom.
.
"My shoulders are killing me, I think I slept funny", you mumbled, trying to find a good position against the office chair, Lando's look questioning your movements.
"Are you in pain? You should've said something", he tutted, hands coming to rub the muscles along your shoulders and neck as Ria went over the latest filming plans.
"Y/N, are you okay, girl?", Ria asked, concerned at the faces you were pulling, "are you sure he's helping you rather than making it worse?", she teased.
"Hey!", Lando yelled, "I'm trying to be a great boyfriend, making sure she's feeling well and taken care of! I think that's jealousy", he smirked, poking his tongue out at her.
"It's feeling good, handsome, especially right there", you groaned, earning a whistle from Max.
"If you guys need a room, I'm sure they can find something relatively kept away!", he laughed, luckily missing the pillow your boyfriend threw at him, "no need to resort to violence, guys!".
"Bring that pillow over here, please, I actually need it", you asked him, taking it from his hands as he quickly walked away, "what, are you afraid I was going to make you trip?", you giggled.
"I don't know, the two of you are never up to any good!", Max raised his hands in defense as Lando kissed your forehead, "He's just jealous because we're a great team and P isn't here with him".
.
Weekends with no racing and no plans quickly became your favourite because you were able to spend as much time as you possibly could with Lando, the triple header ahead of you already promising to make spending time just with him on your own a bit difficult.
When Lando woke up like clockwork, he stretched his neck just enough to watch you sleep cuddled up to his side, your hand grabbing a handful of the sheets that were keeping you warm as you peacefully slept, and knowing how much Quadrant had kept you up late that past week, he thought it would be nice to let you sleep for a bit longer.
Carefully getting up to not wake you up, Lando kissed your cheek soflty and made his side of the bed, tucking the sheets around your body as he lightly kissed your head one last time before he went to the ensuite to change into his workout clothes.
Heading to the kitchen, Lando filled his water bottle and grabbed a pre-workout snack to take to the home gym. Looking at the equipment in the room and the cardio indications Jon had sent him, he decided that he was going on the bike, figuring that, even though the sound isolation was pretty good, it would be the least likely to make too much noise to the point of waking you up, following up with some weights and then stretching.
He was all sweaty when he walked back into the bedroom, ready to have a shower when he heard the sheets ruffling, "hey, baby, good morning", he smiled, "you can go back to sleep, I just need to take a shower, I'm sorry I woke you up", he pouted.
"Morning", you yawned, "I'm going to shower with you", you smiled sleepily, getting up and joining him in the ensuite.
Leaving your clothes in a pile on the floor, Lando got the shower started, making sure the water was warm as you both liked before stepping in with you, letting the water wash away before you grabbed your shower gel, lathering it on Lando's hands and then on yours as you both helped the other wash off, stealing kissing and caresses along the way.
When you got back to the bedroom and dressed in lounge wear clothes, you were ready to have breakfast, finding the overnight oats in the kitchen, "I don't mind if you want to eat something else", Lando offered.
"These are good, I don't mind it", you said, "but I am going to make my latte because my brain can't go without the caffeine", you scrunched up your nose, earning his giggles as you turned on the coffee machine.
"Can I have a little sip, please?", Lando asked once you frothed up the milk, "of course, here baby", you encouraged, bringing the mug up to his lips and having your hand form a shell under it just in case it spilled.
Lando was left with a little foam moustache, earning a giggle from you as you kissed him, "my little frothy man", you cupped his cheek before kissing him properly, "I love you, Y/N", he whispered, pulling you into his embrace.
.
"You pick the movie, I have to go pee", you said to your boyfriend, letting him walk inside the living room as you continued down the hall to the bathroom.
For tonight's plan, you and Lando decided to stay in and cook together, wanting to enjoy the small task without rushing or heating up something from his meal plan, still making something healthy and approved by his team.
When you got back to the living room,
Lando had his Spotify app on the TV, a slow song you recognised from his brother's wedding playlist ready to play, "would you do me the honour of joining me in this dance?", he asked, kissing your knuckles before looking up at you, eyes sparkly as you replied, "yes, I will", you smiled, allowing him to push you flush to his chest, slowdancing in the living room once he started the song, your head in his chest listening to his steady heartbeat.
"Everyday I thank my lucky starts that we met, that I was bold enough to ask you out and that you've stayed with me all of these years", he broke the silence as he unattached his lips from your temple, "and I never want to loose this, little touches, giggles, wins and losses, all of it", he smiled.
"You're the best thing that has happened to me, Lando", you cupped his face in your hands, thumbs brushing his cheeks as he smiled, "I can only hope you feel as happy as I do when I'm with you".
"Darling, with you, I'm always over the moon", he giggled, kissing your lips softly as he stumbled you two into the sofa, roaming hands and tongues battling eachother as a night of love and passion unfolded.
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hunnylagoon · 3 months
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Right Where You Left Me
Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)
Ellie Williams x reader
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I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.
Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.
Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one
Part one here!
Part two here!
Part three over here!
Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao
I think that I have unlearned how to love.
That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.
Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.
I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.
The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded. 
She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.
Almost.
It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas. 
The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again. 
So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do. 
I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.
When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.
As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.
"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.
"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"
Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."
"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"
I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."
"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."
"So?" Cat asks.
"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"
"Why not?"
"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"
"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.
She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.
Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.
I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"
My heart drops "I'm not?"
Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."
I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.
"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"
My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."
Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-
"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.
"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.
Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"
"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."
While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret. 
She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.
The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.  
"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"
The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.
"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.
"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.
I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."
I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.
Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine. 
As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.
After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"
"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"
Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-
"Yes, I have."
"Who?"
"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."
She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."
"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."
"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"
I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.
Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.
'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?
AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?
She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together. 
God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.
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I think I've had my fair share of partying.
After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.
I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter. 
Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.
When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things. 
"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray. 
Thirty dollars?
Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).
I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."
Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.
"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off. 
After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-
"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen. 
I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.
Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.
"Make a wish!"
Age Sixteen- Grade 11
I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.
How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.
"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.
The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.
 "What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.
I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?" 
He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand. 
"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.
I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline. 
"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?" 
I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.
"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."
"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.
"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"
"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"
"Because I don't."
My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.
I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."
Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."
I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.
My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.
"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.
"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."
She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.
"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-
My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-
Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.
I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her. 
"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!" 
Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.
Frankly, I'm fucking scared.
She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body. 
Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.
This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.
"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain. 
I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.
I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air. 
Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it. 
I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.
She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.
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"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."
"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.
"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."
"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"
"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."
"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."
"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."
We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.
"Fine."
I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.
I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.
When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"
Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.
We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.
She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"
"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness. 
"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."
"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."
Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing. 
She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"
My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.
She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night. 
Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."
"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.
"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."
I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."
I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.
"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."
I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.
"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it." 
The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"
I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."
She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"
"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."
Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.
How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.
A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀
Thanks for reading!
Tag list: @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @whosmica
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number1mingyustan · 4 months
Text
-Cuffing Season-
Your Call
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boyfriend!mingyu x fem!reader
Warnings: established relationship, cursing, explicit smut, mutual masturbation (m+f), virtual sex, size kink, fingering (f.)
Summary: Even a thousand miles away you still have the same effects on him
Word Count: 1.8k
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(a/n: i'm baaaack!! im so sorry for going MIA I was busy with school and now that I'm on break I've had literally no motivation to write but I've got a few more drafts I'm working on so expect me to be more active!)
The hotel door swings open and Mingyu walks through it, hand already pulling at the navy blue tie draped around his neck.
He undoes it with one hand before dropping it onto the carpeted hotel floor. He lets out a sigh of pure exhaustion and leans his back against the wall as his briefcase meets the floor.
He’s been in meetings all day and tired can’t even describe what he’s feeling right now. He’s away from you in Tokyo on a business trip and he’s miserable. His days prior to this were light, a meeting here and there and a couple of conventions. But today?
Back-to-back meetings with potential investors and clients have worn him out. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to call you yet today.
For the two weeks, he’s called you at least three times and you’ve texted back and forth every day. Now it’s nearing 1am and he hasn’t spoken to you at all.
He strips himself down to his boxers and lays down on top of the bed. He scrambles for his phone and immediately dials your number.
You pick up on the first ring. “Gyu?”
“Hi baby,” He rasps.
"Was beginning to think you forgot about me," you pout.
"Never, I was just swamped. I knew it was gonna be a heavy day, but I had literally no time to myself. I just now got back to the hotel," he sighs.
"You work so hard babe," You say. "I'm proud of you, but take it easy."
He nods. "It'll only be this bad for the next few days. I think it'll be worth it though, seems like a lot of good can come out of this for the company."
You shift on the bed, making yourself more comfortable as you lie down. "That's good Gyu, I would hope so."
The call goes silent for a few moments. You can hear each other breathing lightly into the phone as you lay in comfortable silence.
"I really miss you," Mingyu says, finally breaking the silence.
"I know, I miss you too." You sigh. "I've been miserable without you. I'm so lonely here, we should've gotten like a cat or something."
Mingyu lets out a breathy chuckle. "Noted. It'll be the first thing I do when I come home next week."
"Ugh," You groan dramatically. "Don't remind me I have to wait a whole week to see you again."
You can practically hear him smiling into the phone. "A week can go by fast, don't worry. I'll be home in no time."
"Good," You smile. "Bed's cold without you here."
"Must be," He yawns.
"Yeah Gyu, I hate it. Need you here now," Your voice is just above a whisper.
"What are you wearing?" He asks.
"You want me to tell you or show you?" You ask.
"Fuck," he whispers. "Show me."
Before he can even finish his thought, his phone is already ringing with an incoming Facetime call. He presses on the green button and sees you adjusting the camera.
Your phone is leaning against something to hold it up and you're sitting crisis cross applesauce on the bed in front of him. "Hi Gyu."
"Hi pretty girl," He smirks.
He rises to his feet, holding his phone in hand as he makes his way over to the desk in his room. He sits down, angling the camera so you can see him.
"Really missed you today," You tell him.
"Missed you too," He licks his lips. "You wearing my shirt?"
You nod. "Yeah. Still smells like you and everything."
You pick up the phone, angling it down so he can see the black and white striped button-up you have on. It fits you big, coming down mid-thigh.
He rasps. "Looks good on you baby."
"It does, doesn't it?" You smirk. "Think it might look better off though, right?"
Suddenly Mingyu isn't sleepy anymore.
"Shit baby, don't do this to me. You know I'm going crazy cuz I can't touch you," He groans, tilting his head back.
"This is the next best thing, no?" You lick your lips, allowing your hand to undo the first button.
"Damn right, it is," He agrees, slipping his hand into his boxers. To no one's surprise, he's already sprouting a semi at the mere thought of having phone sex with you.
It was only a matter of time before this happened anyway. You and Mingyu would rarely go this long without being intimate with one another.
"You didn't seriously call me in nothing but your underwear and expect me not to want you Gyu," You breathe out.
"Didn't do it on purpose sweetheart," He grins.
You've already undone half the buttons of his shirt. He can see your bra peaking through the open material. His cock twitches in anticipation.
He watches like a hawk as you slide the shirt off your shoulders and let it fall off your body entirely. "Shit," he whispers.
You're kneeling in front of the camera in nothing but your bra and underwear. It's a matching lavender set that he bought you a while back.
His eyes are glued to his screen as he watches you. You play with your bra straps, sliding them off your shoulders slowly to expose your breasts to him. He lets out a low groan and feels his cock harden more in his boxers.
He's suddenly feeling suffocated by the material on his hips. He sits up, sliding his underwear off and exposing his leaking cock. He lets out a breath of relief as he wraps his hand around his length.
He swipes his thumb across the tip, using the bit of precum to lubricate his cock. He licks his lips slowly, watching you as you slide your soaked underwear off your body.
"You're so big," you whisper. You're practically drooling at the sight of his cock.
He spits on his hand and starts pumping himself slowly. "Touch yourself f'r me."
You sit back on the bed and slide your hand down between your thighs. He watches as you spread your legs, revealing just how soaked you were for him.
You let out a shaky breath as your finger circles your clit.
"Need you so bad Gyu," You whine.
'i'm here baby-fuck," he groans.
He pumps his length faster, gliding his hand along his hard cock as he watches you touch yourself. He strokes himself, swiping his hand across the sensitive tip every time he pumps himself.
"Inside me.. need you inside me," You whimper. You slip two fingers into yourself slowly. You spread your legs wider to give him a better look. You push your fingers deeper, curling your digits against your inner walls.
"Soon baby, 'm all yours." He breathes out.
"You're so big Gyu, want you to fuck me so bad-ah," You pump your fingers deeper inside of yourself, desperately trying to coax yourself toward an orgasm.
"F-fuck y/n... keep talking," He drops his head back and groans. His muscles are bulging and his grip on his cock is tightening. "Missed your voice."
Even through the low quality of your phone camera, Mingyu was still in awe of you. His eyes were hyperfixated on the way your fingers disappear deep inside of you. His hips jerk up into his fist, warm blood pumping through his veins and making his limbs grow hot with arousal.
You lean back, fingers tightening around his bedsheets clumped in your hand as you push your hips into your hand. "Hah- my fingers are hardly big enough. Need your cock baby–" You whine.
You curl your fingers the same way he does when he touches you, pressing your fingertips against your inner walls. The sensation has your toes curling with a familiar feeling building up inside of you.
His dick twitches in his hand. Fuck, he's so reactive when it comes to you. No one can make him feel the way you do. He lets out a low groan, squeezing the head of his cock to stop himself from cumming when he hears you.
You continue pushing your hips into your hand with erratic movements. You look at your screen, watching your boyfriend strokes his cock. You watch the way his large hand glide along the length of his cock.
"Gyu–fuck, I'm cumming," You warn him.
Mingyu stops holding back the second the words pass your lips. He speeds up his hand, loosening his grip every so slightly. You cum together, bodies shuddering with sloppy movements as you drive yourselves into a state of euphoric pleasure.
He fights to keep his eyes open. They remain half lidded as he refuses to rip his eyes way from the scene before him. He's fixaed on the way your fingers dip into your pussy, coating them with more of your slick arousal as your body spasms and jerks.
He can feel the way his load spills all over his hand and onto his lower abs, but he can't take his eyes off of you. He missed being able to see you fall apart. It's one of his favorite views. Even a thousand miles away, he was still going to see it for himself.
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you come down. You draw your slick fingers out of your hole slowly, licking your lips as you tap back into all of your senses.
He blinks slowly as he comes down from his high. He grabs a tissue from the desk, cleaning up the mess on his skin. He discards it and slouches against the chair.
"Can't believe we just did that," He lets out a breathy chuckle.
"Thought it would've happened sooner. Been expecting it since your first night away," You smirk.
Mingyu yawns and decides to call it a night. He grabs his phone, plugging it into the charger and pulling his boxers back up onto his waist.
"Sleepy?" You ask.
"Exhausted," He turns off the lights and climbs under the hotel bedsheets. "I feel a lot better though."
"Good," You say.
You mirror his actions, redressing yourself, turning off the lights, and plugging your phone into the charger before climbing under the bedsheets. You're yawning too, snuggling in the sheets with your boyfriend on the phone.
The call goes quiet and it doesn't take long before both of you are fast asleep.
Mingyu can't wait to go back home and sleep next to you properly. For now, FaceTime calls will have to do. But once he can have you in his arms again, his home will feel complete again.
——————————————————————————
© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.
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flowercrowngods · 11 months
Text
@steddie-week
part 1 (bc this is one big 7 part story)
day 02: bittersweet & angst
1 new message
eddie The Problem munson: engagement party on saturday babyyyy 🥳🥸🕺
Steve’s been staring at the message for two days now. It's sitting in his notifications, staring at him like a painful reminder of what happened exactly seven days ago. A week. It's only been a week, and Steve somehow it feels like it was both only one day or seven months ago.
It's an almost liminal experience, walking through life without texting Eddie every second of the day – because texting him would mean opening his message. It would make this real.
And that's the last thing Steve wants.
"I'm not going," Robin declares as they're cuddling on the couch, wallowing in their misery as Mayday Parade's Oh Well, Oh Well is playing for the eighth time on repeat. "Tell me you're not going, Stevie."
"Robbie," he sighs, squeezing her tighter as she tries to wriggle out of his arms to glare at him.
"Steve."
"I can't not go."
"Yes you can." She pokes him in the ribs, but he doesn't budge. She pokes him again. "Not going to things is literally the easiest thing in the world. It's a hundred times easier than going to things. You should try it sometime, trust me. You go to too many things, and–"
"Bee," he hums to get her out of the rambling spiral before she can get lost in it.
"What I'm saying," he interrupts herself dramatically, "is that you can't do this to yourself. They're engaged. They're getting married. We're going to keep our distance until our brains and hearts and the traitorous little chemicals in our bodies catch up to reality, and then we get over them, and then we can go back and see them ever again. That's the logical thing to do, Steve. But you can't... You can't just go and get your heart broken and talk yourself into thinking it's the right thing to do. It's not."
Steve sighs into her hair and buries his face in her neck. He knows that. Technically, logically, he does.
But not going feels wrong. Wronger than anything else that's been hollowing out his chest and leaving nothing but emptiness and the ghosts of every smile, every touch, every baby, love, sweetheart, sunshine. Every imaginary future, every scenario where Eddie meant it. Meant those words, meant those smiles, meant it when he took Steve's hand to hold it.
But Eddie did mean it. Every time, he meant it; because he calls Argyle and Jeff and Gareth baby and sunshine and sweetheart, too. He takes their hands, too, leans in to kiss their cheeks and just holds them when he needs to. That's just the kind of person Eddie is. Always has been.
To go and assume he never meant it would be unfair.
To go and hope it could ever mean more when Chrissy has always been right there would just be stupid.
Well, good thing Steve has that kind of reputation with a few people anyway, so it's not even a statistical outlier, that one. It's not even worth a side note.
"I know," he rasps, his eyes beginning to sting as the next lyrics are carved into the empty space of where his heart used to be.
Oh well, oh well I can't live with myself As I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed.
And I'll be what you need, You can call me anything. Just as long as we're still friends.
Tears prickle in his eyes and he doesn't bother to hold them back. Not now, not with Robin. They've both been crying on and off all week, even though Robin took it better than him.
"I know," he sobs, wrapping his arms around her even tighter as she lets herself be held because she knows that's what he needs. "I know, I know, I know. But I have to. I can't just... I can't just stop, Bee."
"I know," she sighs, climbing out of his hold eventually to wrap her arms around him in return as he cries into her shoulder.
The world (read: his Spotify playlist) makes it worse by playing Sum 41's With Me next, ripping out even the newly carved words.
Robin holds him for the rest of the night, even as he finally opens Eddie's message and types out a reply.
—I'll come!
And especially when there's a new message immediately.
—hot 🥵❤️
He leaves Eddie on read after that.
~*~
Saturday rolls around in a haze, and suddenly Steve finds himself looking at the front door of the little house Chrissy inherited after her mother passed a few years ago. It's a nice little house. Quaint. Perfect. Everything Steve could ever dream of, actually. And she deserves it. All of this and more.
There's noise coming from the garden, where people are laughing and having a great time. A happy time, celebrating their friends and all the good things in life that come with a love well placed.
God, what is he doing here? He can't do this. There is no way.
He's just about to pull out his phone and call Robin, tell her he's coming home, or ask her to tell him everything's gonna be alright, when–
"Steve!" Chrissy hurries towards him, throwing her arms around him in a tight, warm, perfect hug. God, he loves her so much. He melts right into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her middle to spin her around with a grin.
She giggles in delight and tells him to let her down again, which only makes him spin for another round, his grin turning into a genuine laugh.
"No, I hate you!" she laughs, but still doesn't step away from him when he puts her down again. Instead, she leans up and brushes a kiss to his cheek. "Hi, asshole."
"Hi."
He grins and takes her hands in his, just smiling at her for another moment before his eyes trail down to a ring he's never seen her wear before. Ah. Right.
"Oh shit! That it?"
"That's it," Chrissy says, looking down at her hand to look at the ring with a fond, happy little smile, her cheeks flushing red. It breaks Steve a little, but it also fixes something inside him to see her so truly, genuinely happy. "Pretty huh?"
"Very," Steve breathes, hiding the lump in his throat with a sound of awe.
Chrissy hugs him again for good measure and then takes his hand to drag him into the backyard the same way she just came out front, through a little gate off to the side instead of through the house.
Steve loves their backyard because it's always covered in sheerly endless colourful strings of light that are wrapped around decorative arches or poles, framing the back doors and the canopy swing set on the lawn, and just give it the most homey and comfortable atmosphere.
"Stevie!" Eddie exclaims immediately and jumps off from his chair, interrupting a conversation he's apparently been having with Argyle and Nancy to run up to him with such a giddy expression that Steve wants to cry. His heart leaps in his chest, coming back to life and saying one last goodbye at the same time.
"Hi," he says, hugging Eddie close before he can so much as think about what he's doing. But no matter how hurt he is, there will never be a world in which he won't want to hug Eddie Munson. "Sorry I'm late."
"No sorries, it's fine," Eddie murmurs into his neck, staying in the embrace endlessly, and Steve takes the chance to breathe him in. He smells so good. So, so good. It clogs his lungs and renders him unable to speak.
But who needs to speak when they have Eddie in their arms? Who needs to speak when all they have to do is never let go?
Eddie squeezes him a little tighter, and Steve wants to cry. He slowly, gently pushes away from the hug and turns towards the other guests, greeting them with a grin, a hug, or a handshake if they're not familiar.
When he gets to Wayne, the man eyes him with a look that Steve doesn't want to read too much, and his embrace is just a little longer, just a little stronger than usual.
“You look tired, son,” he says by way of greeting, and Steve can’t help but snort and shake his head a little.
“Good to see you again, too, old man.”
Wayne eyes him for one moment longer, then breaks into a small smile and pats Steve’s shoulder before stepping around him to go grab another drink.
After that, the night passes in a blur of talking to his friends, trying to understand what the hell it is that has Nancy and Argyle arguing so profusely, but with smiles on their faces. He fails. But it’s good to see them again, so he just basks in it for a while.
Or, he tries, because every second that he’s not talking or listening to someone, his eyes flick back to Eddie. Eddie, who’s lifting Chrissy from behind and smacking a loud, wet kiss to her neck, her jaw and her cheek, accompanied by her delighted squeals and laughter.
Eddie, who’s looking larger than life, a happy grin permanently plastered on his face as he reminds their guests that Chrissy was his bisexual awakening.
“I swear, she just swept me off my feet after years of thinking I was only into dudes. Knew I had to marry her, but man, I don’t know why she said yes.”
“I’m settling, honey,” Chrissy calls from the other end of the table they’re sitting around. “Only in it for that rockstar money and all.”
The whole table laughs at that.
“Hear, hear,” Eddie snorts, lifting his glass in a toast. Steve and the others lift theirs, too, even though Steve’s hand and arm and whole body feels numb and he’s not entirely sure he’s breathing.
A while later, he grabs a drink and retreats to the canopy swing, illuminated in the soft pink flow of the fairy lights wrapped around it. Eddie’s eyes land on him for a second and Steve thinks that he’ll come over and join him — but then one of Chrissy’s friends says something that distracts him and seemingly makes him fall into a monologue of sorts.
Steve watches, feeling only loss and longing as he does. Eddie is a force of nature. A spectacle. Something beautiful, something powerful, something secret that only a select few get to witness. To know. To appreciate.
Staring as he is, blind to the rest of the world, he startles a little when the swing jostles with another weight settling on it. He didn’t see Wayne coming to join him, and he’s not quite sure whether he should be grateful for the company or apprehensive of what the man who’s like a father to him might have to say.
“How are you doing, son?”
He frowns. “I’m alright.”
Wayne only hums, and Steve’s frown deepens. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him Wayne knows something. That he knows.
“Y’know,” he continues after a while, not looking at Steve but rather at his nephew and his fiancée. “I always figured it would be you.”
Steve crumbles. Yeah, me too, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. Watching the way Chrissy sits on Eddie’s lap with his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder as he tells her something that makes her laugh that cute, pretty, adorable laugh that Eddie then can’t help but join — that’s just something Steve would never compare to. Nothing he’d ever want to come in between.
Eddie and Chrissy are perfect. They’re happy. They fit, they match, they work. They worked so hard and treat each other so right.
They look giddy and serene at the same time, and it makes Steve’s eyes sting. Because he can never make Eddie look like that. He can never make Eddie look at him like that.
I always figured it would be you.
But he couldn’t. That bubbly kind of love, the sunshine kind of love. He knows that’s not for him. Steve’s too much for that. He would never be enough for Eddie — even if without Eddie, there’s nothing left of him.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Wayne continues, unaware of Steve’s thought spiral. “I love that girl, I do. Always will. I think she’s too good for Eddie. Don’t tell him I said that,” he adds hastily, and Steve smiles through the tears that threaten to fall again.
“They’re perfect,” he rasps, laughing wetly as Chrissy starts chasing Eddie, who’s hiding behind a very distressed Argyle, who just wants his brochachos to chill!
Maybe it’s a laugh, maybe it’s a sob. He doesn’t have it in him to find out or care.
“They are. Doesn’t mean they’re right, son.”
Steve sighs and tears his eyes away from Eddie. “Wayne.”
“I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “Shutting up.” After a long pause of holding Steve’s eyes, he asks, “Will you be okay?”
No, he thinks immediately, the lump in his throat too big to say anything. So he just shrugs and swallows. “Sure.”
Maybe. Hardly. Probably not. Definitely not.
"No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me. You’ll always have a home with an open door with me, you hear me?"
"I’m not going anywhere, wayne," Steve says, though for the first time ever he doesn't really believe that. Maybe he needs to leave. To leave Eddie behind. Get over him. Cut out his heart and leave it here, run away to heal somewhere else, come back as a new person, or just stay away forever.
The thought makes a tear spill as an empty kind of desperation spreads it’s ugly wings inside his chest, and he's too frozen to wipe it away.
"You hear me?" Wayne repeats, gentler this time, but no less urgent for it.
"Yeah," steve rasps. "Thanks."
Another tear falls as Eddie gently pulls Chrissy closer to him and kisses her in the soft glow of the fairy lights above and around them. Their friends cheer. Steve wants to cry his heart out again.
“I—“ he swallows, wiping at his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can’t do this, he wants to say. For the first time, that’s what he wants to say. “I think I’m gonna head home soon.”
“You bring your car?”
He shakes his head, feeling foggy and dazed and empty and endlessly, endlessly sad. “Was gonna, uh—“
“Let me drive you.” There’s no room for debate or argument there, and Steve wants to crumble again, but still he shakes his head.
“Wayne, no—“
“I’m taking you, son. Make sure you get home safe, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Don’t wanna keep your old man up all night, do ya?”
Steve concedes with a fond eye roll and a grateful smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“That’s what I thought.”
They sit like that for another ten minutes — and if Steve leans into Wayne’s side a little, then that’s nobody’s business but theirs.
The car ride is quiet, but it feels weighted even as Wayne pretends not to see the way Steve keeps wiping at his cheeks as the silent tears keep falling, leaving him powerless to stop them.
I can’t do this, he keeps thinking over and over again.
“Just a little warning,” Wayne speaks up again as he pulls up to Steve’s building. “I think he’s going to ask you to be his best man, Stevie. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”
I can’t do this.
He nods, numb again.
“I’ll do anything for him,” he breathes.
“That’s what I’m afraid of, yeah.”
He gets out of the car before he can find out what exactly Wayne means by that. The car stays where it is until the front door closes behind him, until he’s up in his bedroom and finds Robin already asleep.
Ten minutes later, he cuddles close to her and tries hard not to cry, but tonight’s memories have burned themselves into his mind. And he shouldn’t have gone. He knows. He knows.
I’ll do anything. I can’t do this. I’ll do anything. I can’t do this.
He can’t breathe, and Robin holds him through it, whispering sleepily to him as he cries himself to sleep, wishing for a world where he’s not absolutely and utterly in love with Eddie Munson, but failing to imagine one.
I’ll do anything. Anything but this.
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen come back tomorrow for idk which prompt | read part 3 here
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khristie16 · 2 months
Text
The Fast and Forbidden
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Charles is a famous F1 driver with everything one could want: fame, fortune, and fans. But he is missing one thing. Being his new personal assistant changes everything for both of them.
— chapter 3 An unspoken connection builds up and seeing you half naked gives a top to it, right after your date with another guy
warnings: sexual tension, invading privacy (not the intention), charles is chuckling the charles out of him
.........................................................................
I haven't seen Charles for two days. We haven't even spoken. Right after our shared time behind the piano, his brothers came to his apartment to pick him up for the squash that was apparently delayed. I snapped from my sitting position and awkwardly disappeared, resulting in forgetting about the clothes I wanted to laundry. I felt weird. Torn apart. What the hell happened there? I was still overthinking the whole scenery, me and him playing together. Me and my feelings and him and his words. What the hell was he talking about that I am his boat in whatever ocean it was. My frustration grew extremely and I was mad about everything and I did not know where it came from.
After ruminating on the sofa I had bought two days ago at this new and absolutely with nothing in apartment, I had to buy at least few decent things to it. It is not like I care about it much, I'm not gonna stay here for most of the time and I definitely don't call it home. One thing came to my conclusion. I will go on a date. I don't know how or when yet, but I need to go on a date instead of thinking about the weirdfest that is happening between the two of us. What I didn't know though was the fact that Charles ignored me on purpose. He was cursing himself for saying what he said and he didn't know why he said it. It was like that day, that moment he was someone else. He doesn't do these sweet nothings. He isn't like that. And so he ignored YN as much as he could.
On the way to Japan, the ride was quiet. Charles had his AirPods all the time and all I could do was draw some stuff in my notebook. This is actually the only time where my mind doesn't lead. I don't think and that is when I like it the most. That is when I remembered I wanted to go on a date. I decided I will install these trendy apps that are viral nowadays.
''There you have my keys, we are still in separated rooms, but still.''
He nodded in agreement of hoping that I have some common sense and I know what he implies. As I am grabbing the keys from his hands on the corridor in this fancy hotel in Japan, I don't bother to say anything to him. As I turned around to walk to my apartment he said ''I don't need you for today, you have a free time''
I took a deep breath and encouraged myself to go even faster.
Give me your name and I will give you my last name
These guys hereeee. Ugh. Now I remember why I stopped finding my 'match' on these apps. These guys are cringe asf and the only thing they care about is the color of your panties, not your name. I chuckle as I scroll some more on the sofa in the luxurious living room that I roll my eyes at. Anything that reminds me of Charles is annoying. Luxurious cars, clothes and even hotels are annoying because of him. I fumed and threw the phone next to my lying side. My vision goes blur and black as put my hands over my eyes and try to just breathe. Just when I get into the moment, I receive a notification.
It is some guy called Patrick. I looked at his profile and I have to say I was slightly amused. A nice handsome guy, who is appearing normal. I accepted his offer and in one minute I receive his message.
When I saw your face I could not look away:)
I'm not gonna lie, it did flatter me.
Good for you you didn't:)
I'm Patrick. Not from here, as i see you are not from here either I'm YN. I'm just visiting for few days. Better to make it rememberable
I don't know what this guy was but he intrigued me and I accepted to go on a date with him. I put myself together very nicely and went on a date with him. He picked me up in a luxurious car (Charles) and greeted me with a beautiful smile. I had to give him credits for how handsome he is IRL. ''Hello you''
I have to chuckle as I make my finish line to him. ''Well nice to see you too''
I smirk at him and look him in the eyes. Brown eyes. Simple. Nothing complex. Not like Charles's eyes. *(internal grunt)*
''What's wrong?''
He asks me genuinely with frown on his face. I shrug it off with a mild smile that it is nothing, just that I am cold. He raises his eyebrows but don't comment it. Instead he opens the doors for me and I sit down, ready for the adventure of what this date will bring.
The date itself was very nice, a simple dinner with a beautiful view on the city underneath us. Patrick is very casual and calm guy, well mannered and well spoken. There was nothing wrong with him, yet, I felt shallow. I did not feel alive. I thought to it it is because of my shitty mood from earlier. More of someone specific. I checked my phone to see if I am not needed but nothing came.
''I see there is something bothering you''
I lift my gaze and look at Patrick. I give him apologetic smile and take my phone away.
''Just work''
He gives me a knowing smile but he doesn't know it is not the job itself but the person behind it. And I hate myself for letting that happen. I don't want to feel like that, especially with a decent man in front of me. We go back to our conversation and as the time goes by, I finally managed to forget about Charles.
Patrick talked to me about his life, how he started and how it lead him to be where he is now. I genuinely liked to listen to him and it was certain that his guy know what he is doing in life. He has a goal and it appears no struggle take him from it. Unlike me.
When he asks me about my life, I keep it very simple. I don't want to tell him how I lost everything I could, everything I had for the last twenty years known to my life. And there are few things that I am passionate about. one of them are chocolate desserts and so I call for one, to keep the attention from me and my 'old' life.
On our way back to a hotel I stay silent and let my mind wander wherever it wants. Patrick from time to time asked me about something but it looked like he respects my quiet time I need for myself. It is hard to talk when my body is met with so much food to process!
''I know I enjoyed it, I hope you did as well YN''
I smile at him and I cannot lie that it wasn't enjoyable. I give him a light nod with a smile.
He helps me out of the car and then we stand facing each other.
''Can I see you again?''
I look up to his warm brown eyes and melt for a second. They remind me of all those people in my life that I love so much. They are so welcoming. It makes me so vulnerable that I say yes.
I slightly chuckle and keep smiling more to myself than to him. He takes a strand of hair from my face and put it behind my ears.
I see someone familiar on the left and my eyes wander there to see Joris with some other men. My body immediately goes tense and I search for him. But he is not there. Weird.
''You know them?''
I forgot about Patrick at all and my eyes widen at his sudden presence. ''Oh, uhm, yes, they are from work.''
I go back to look at Joris who is watching me closely as well.
''Oh, I see.''
I put my focus back to Patrick and give him a smile. ''Thank you for the date, I enjoyed it.''
He just nodded and kissed my hand with a promising look of a second date.
Right after I left the place in front of the hotel building, I lost track of time and focus on outer world that I just blankly stared on the wall in front of me. As the wall split in a half and opened for me, I blinked from the intrusion and get out from the elevator. I blindly walked to my apartment and opened the doors.
Darkness. Weird, I swear I left the lamp on. As I shrug it off, on my way to the bedroom I semi half get off the dress that were suffocating me the whole time after I ate the delicious chocolate dessert. That is why I get from having a sweet tooth. As I groan with the zipper in my lower back a light hits my senses. I blink many times in order to adjust to the surrounding and when the blurry lines make a form I see Charles staring at me expressionless. I stood there like a thief caught red handed and what gets me moving is his eyes lingering on my exposed chest and stomach.
I immediately cover myself and run to my right, even though I don't know what is there.
''Oh my god, i'm sor-'' ''-I'm sorry, I'm sorry!''
As I lay my back on the wall behind me I struggle to breath as my breathing became shallow. ''I-I thought this is my appartment. I'm so sorry''
All I hear is a chuckle and I frown at the reason for him to chuckle at all! I swear this guy just pisses me off.
''It's okay. What about I give you some space and wait in the corridor?''
I hum back in approval and get back in the dress so I don't walk half naked! With a grunt and victim mindset I get out the bathroom and straight to the door where is Charles waiting. There is a hint of amusement in his eyes and small smirk forming on his lips.
''It's not funny''
He chuckles even more and make few steps to me.
''I have to admit that I am glad I gave you my keys''
I stay watching him closely, with a smirk on his face, with my mouth parted a little at his sudden words and my eyebrows lift up. When I become aware there is silence between us I shut my mouth back again and roll my shoulders back.
''It's not gonna happen again''
I said it more with a threatening undertone and reached for the knob to leave this place. His place.
All I hear on my way out is ''What a shame''
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skyahri · 1 month
Text
Blind |Naruto Men X Uchiha!Reader| HC
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Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Madara Uchiha, Hashirama Senju
Summary: How they handle their partner losing their sight due to the effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan.
Warnings: Mentions of fem, but not very relevant. Mentions of war and loss of sight.
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Kakashi Hatake
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He knew the day would come when the Sharingan would take your vision, but he didn't know it'd be so soon.
There were no other eyes available to you at the moment, so eternal was not an option.
Not that'd you do it anyway. It was highly against your beliefs to partake in the Uchiha nonsense that was eye swapping.
Something that drew Kakashi towards you in the first place.
You'd been preparing for this day since you first awakened your mangekyo.
You'd memorized the layout of your apartment, practiced roaming the village in a blind fold, and learned braille.
You'd been coping well, Kakashi... not so much.
He couldn't deal with the knowledge that you'd sacrificed your vision for the sake of the village.
You'd given up everything during your years as a shinobi, and this was the icing on top of the cake.
He'd watch you every day.
Watch you drag your hands across the walls of your apartment. Watch you walk a bit too far past the stall in the market. Watched you struggle to do simple things like grocery shopping.
Over time, you'd become worse and worse at eye contact, and that ate him alive.
There were no more longing looks or sneaky glances. Even your attempts to appear as if you could see were slowly declining, and it dampened his mood every time.
He felt as if he'd failed you. If only he'd been stronger, you wouldn't have had to overuse your doujutsu.
But he stayed quiet because you seemed happy. You were alive and safe and happy, and that's all he could ask for.
Shikamaru Nara
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After the war, your vision had completely vanished. There were no blurry shapes or deaf perception problems because there was simply no sight.
There was no time to prepare. You hadn't planned on having to use the mangekyo so much in battle, and the price was astronomical.
He tried to help where he could, but you were being stubborn, constantly rejecting any aid he tried to provide.
"Just let me-"
"I told you I can do it myself."
"No, you can't, just let me-"
And that's when he felt the sobs rack through your body. Tears quickly fell down your face and your hands couldn't keep up.
He sighed and forced everything out of your hands.
"I can't do anything anymore."
"That's not true."
You scoffed, a bitter laugh leaving your lips.
"I can't go grocery shopping or cut fruit or put dishes away without running into everything or breaking something or,"
"Give it time. It'll get better."
"Two weeks ago, I was a shinobi. Today, I'm just a blind girl who can barely feed herself."
Shikamaru wasn't sure what to do. Strategy was easy becausebit was all factual. Feelings, though? So many variables he didn't know where to start.
He confided in Kakashi at some point, but wasn't too pleased with the advice he got it.
"Let her figure it out. She's a smart girl."
Despite thinking it was a stupid suggestion, he listened.
Slowly, over time, you'd regained your confidence and became the capable person you had previously been.
Doesn't stop Shikamaru from uncharacteristically babying you sometimes, though.
Sasuke Uchiha
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He offered you his eyes, but you declined.
You weren't fond of Uchiha tradition despite being raised by it. Taking his eyes just felt like you'd be starting the new age Uchiha clan off on the wrong foot.
So you chose blindness.
It was difficult at first, but you quickly learned to get around and help yourself with little to no issue.
You'd gone from stumbling around the kitchen to making yourself breakfast within a few months.
Living with out sight wasn't too bad, and you'd grown accustomed to it. You felt like you'd made the right decision.
Until your first son was born.
It wasn't the parenting aspect that you found difficult, it was the emotional one.
When Sasuke told you your son looked just like Itachi, you knew you'd have to see for yourself.
So, you allowed Sakura to do the transplant.
Within seconds after the bandages were off and you had time to adjust to light, your sight was fully restored.
Sasuke brought in your baby, and wouldn't you know it? He looks exactly like Itachi.
The sharingan is based on strong emotions, yeah? Maybe you can base it on love in the new Era.
Naruto Uzumaki
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Unlike the others, Naruto finds the whole eye transplant thing horrendous.
"What do you mean by that, huh? You freaks just trade eyes like around? That's the worst thing I've ever heard."
Although he wasn't happy with your newfound loss of sight, he wasn't one to label anything as a downside.
A setback? Sure. Negative? Never.
Hes overall very patient about it, even if in the moment he gets a little ahead of himself.
He's always forgetting that you're blind, so he'll ask you to look at things all the time.
"Hey, what's this?"
You just shrug. He may or may not bring your hand to the object to get a feel, but he mostly just gets embarrassed and drops it.
It honestly hadn't really dawned on him until he asked you to go train with him and you'd refused.
Sure, you could overtime work yourself up to be a shinobi again, but at this point in your life, that just wasn't the dream anymore.
Madara Uchiha
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He thinks you're being stupid.
This world is all about power and you're choosing to be blind?
Idiotic.
You may be his wife, but he ignores you for quite some time after you make it clear there will be no eternal in your future.
It's an easy justification for him; he doesn't mingle with the weak.
Life gets pretty lonely after he decides to completely shut you out. Yeah, he sees Hashirama and makes his round through the compound, but it's not the same.
It isn't until he sees you in the village, going about life as you had months ago, that he starts to think maybe he was too hasty.
After all, he had married you for many reasons, and a big one was how skilled you were at adapting.
That night, when he finally returns home, he decides to sleep in your marital bed, not in the guest room.
The next day, he joins you for breakfast.
He came home early from his duties for the first time in a while.
He even started speaking to you once again.
You don't say anything right away. You know how he is about changing his mind, and you aren't willing to push your luck.
Things slowly get better over the span of a few weeks, and that's when you decide it's time to question him.
"I take it you've come to terms with my decision?"
"Of course not. I still think you're a fool."
Just the answer you'd expect.
"But I have missed you dearly."
You smile at him.
Hashirama Senju
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The eternal was never something either of you had considered, so when your vision eventually dulled, it was fully expected.
Times were peaceful at the moment, so he had no need to worry for your safety.
You were almost always near someone willing to lay their life down for you- himself, Tobirama (reluctantly), or Madara - so there truly was no need to stress.
He helped as much as he could while also attending to his duties as Hokage.
Unlike Naruto, he had true patience. He happily held your hand every step of the way.
It wasn't long before your life was back on track, no longer burdened by the anxiety that came with cluelessness.
While Hashirama had preferred it never come to this in the first place, he was happy that things had worked out as best as they possibly could.
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rougecreator1 · 28 days
Note
Hi I’ve been thinking about this request for poly!plastics for a while now. So basically everyone knows that Regina gets angry and when she does people just don’t part ways with her. However, y/n is worse especially when she doesn’t get her full sleep which she didn’t get bc Gretchen and Karen were up and loud. (Y/n would never fault them bc she just loves them so much and their quirks). So throughout the school day, everyone has been getting on Y/n nerves like making comments about her girls etc. at lunch time, cady decided to make a “joke” about Karen being dumb, Regina being a bitch, etc and Y/n just explodes. Maybe heavy make out sess or smut after to calm Y/n down.
Slow Boil
|| Poly!plastics x fem!reader
(I myself am poly)
|| Warnings: swearing, reader almost punches Cady, reader has an attitude, little make out session at the end but nothing overly detailed or anything
|| Summary: reader doesn't get enough sleep, the next day people get on her nerves and it pushes her to a boiling point where she snaps at Cady for insulting her girls.
Requests open!
~~~
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To say you were exhausted would be an understatement. You barely got any sleep the night before with Gretchen and Karen being up all night giggling and gossiping. How Regina slept through them... you didn't know, but God you were envious of her sleeping abilities. Though you would never blame or get mad at Gretchen and Karen. You would however be frustrated at yourself for not falling asleep sooner.
The day seemed to drag on. As if seconds were really minutes and minutes were hours. Classes taking too long to complete. In Health & Fitness you just gave up and fell asleep, head rested on your desk with one arm folded around it and other stretched out in front of you. Cady glanced at you and raised an eyebrow.
The bell woke you from your sleep and you groaned, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. At least it was lunch. You'd get to see your girlfriends.
"Sleeping beauty rises." Mr. Carr comments, getting a few laughs from some kids in the back. You roll your eyes at him.
"I bet you thought that was clever. Do everyone a favour and keep your damn puns to yourself." Mr. Carr seemed taken aback by your attitude, usually you didn't have one. You were known for being kind and laid back. Not snappy and agitated. For that reason, he decides to let it go. Not without giving you a small warning lecture first. It certainly didn't make your mood any better.
You left the class, a sharp (sleep filled) glare glossing over your eyes as you walk through the halls. Some conversations catching your attention, people seemed to be talking about your girlfriends a lot lately. The things they were saying weren't always positive and that just did nothing to improve your mood. One voice in particular catches your attention. Cady.
You snapped your head in her direction, seeing her chatting with those art freaks Janis and Damien.
"Honestly, Karen's gotta be the dumbest person I've ever met. When I went to Regina's house Regina told Karen she would help her with her eyebrows and Karen asked if she could still have two." Cady talked, Damien and Janis laughed. You could feel your blood boiling," Speaking of Regina, don't even get me started on her. She is such a bi-"
"The next word out of your mouth better fucking be "bi icon" or I swear to every God that's listening..!" You yelled, taking a step towards Cady who froze in place. Damien and Janis exchanged a look.
"Y-Y/N, I didn't think-" You cut Cady off.
"Clearly! What the hell, Cady?! They've been nothing but nice- well, to your face- and this how you repay them?" You were livid. The news about you fighting with Cady quickly spread throughout the school, eventually reaching your girlfriends who sprang into action. Hoping to stop things before it escalated.
Regina got there first and put herself between you and Cady right as you had been about to strike. You pause the moment you see Regina and your arm falls to your side. Gretchen and Karen link their arms around yours and keep you back while Regina sighs.
"Baby, take a breath for me." Regina says, you ignore her and look at Cady. She snaps her fingers in your face," Don't look at her. Look at me."
You listen. Reluctantly.
"Breathe." Regina urges, hand resting on your shoulder. When that doesn't work she grabs you by your wrist and pulls you to the bathroom, Gretchen and Karen quickly following behind.
Once there, they all turn and face you.
"What was all that about?" Gretchen asks.
"Cady was being a total bitch." You mutter, arms folded across your chest.
"You mean like Cady Heron?" Karen looks confused.
"No, KD Mac and Cheese." You snap, then realize who you just snapped at. Regina narrows her eyes at you. Karen frowned and you relaxed your shoulders.
"I'm sorry... I just- didn't get any sleep last night and my patience has been pushed to the edge today because of it..." You admit in a mumble, hand covering your face as you tilted your head down. You felt bad.
Gretchen took a step towards you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, pulling you into her side as she moves her hand away from your face. Giving you a deep, soft kiss that you immediately melt into. Hands resting gently around Gretchen to pull her closer. You could feel as your body finally relaxed. Whatever anger you had being washed away.
She broke the kiss and rested her hand to your cheek," Better?"
"I could maybe use a couple more kisses..." You smile sheepishly, looking over at Regina and Karen. Your girlfriends laugh softly and the tension in the room seems to fade.
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inkdrinkerworld · 7 months
Note
ahhh i love chubby!reader and spencer!! what if she overheard someone talking about her weight in a negative way and when she runs into spencer he instantly goes into his own kind of awkward comfort mode bc he secretly has THE biggest crush on you and any other time he would be VERY proud that he managed to get you to hug him but now you’re crying and oh no he doesn’t want you to be sad especially not over the way you look!!
It’s gross. To hear people make comments about your body behind your back in the way you do.
It’s all snide, backhanded comments disguised as compliments. Your stomach rolls because none of your team is near enough to hear them and you don’t feel like making a scene.
Your mind changes when you hear, ‘And it’s so obvious she likes him but what would he do with a girl like her? He’s less than half her size. She doesn't deserve someone like him.’
Your blood boils and you flick away imaginary dust and lint from your clothes before making yourself known.
“You might not like the way I look but you’re much more unattractive than you find me because that’s just vile. You should be ashamed of yourselves. It's none of your business but Spencer and I are dating.”
The local officers blanch and you walk off ignoring their stunned silence and stutters for an apology.
Your hands shake as you sit next to your team and you’re silly for thinking Spencer wouldn’t notice it. Spencer noticed when you had dusted the ends of your hair a week ago.
"Are you okay?" he asks, voice so low it's barely a murmur. Spencer's eyes remain trained on you as you nibble on your lip trying to decide what to do.
"I've been better," you say and Hotch saves you from more questions by instructing, "Y/N I need you to speak to the local police and get every name they have for people who came in."
No one else notices the way your back stiffens as you stand. Spencer does, "I'll go with her, and we'll call Garcia."
Spencer takes you to a secluded hallway and tips your chin up, "What happened, sweetheart?" it's cruel for him to whip that out at work, but it has the same effect it does when you're at home curled in his lap while reading.
"The locals were saying things about me- which is fine, I'm not everybody's cup of tea. But they were extra mean and rude about it." you debate whether to say the rest, but it comes out before you come to a real decision. "They said they don't know why I think I deserve your attention and they said you're too small to be with someone like me."
Spencer gasps like you've burnt him. He feels heat searing his chest as he replays your words. He doesn't know exactly how to comfort you without his words being hard and rough.
"But I stood up for myself," that eases some of the pressure in his chest. "I told them they should be ashamed of themselves and that I wasn't just some girl pining after you and we were together."
Spencer presses his forehead into yours. "I'm glad you stood up for yourself, but you shouldn't have to defend yourself at work or in general. You're amazing and stunning and you're more than anything I could've dreamt up for myself."
His words are soft, sweet and it melts the remaining worry in your bones that even though Spencer loves you, he had regrets.
"They're fucking assholes," he deadpans quietly and you laugh. "But we have a job to do so we'll be civil for the rest of the time we're here but the second we're done, we're messing with them."
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hauntedwitch04 · 7 months
Text
Wrong time, right person
Azriel x reader
Words: about 3.3k words
Warnings: smut, smut, Iforgot to say smut, and Azzy himself ;)
Author’s note: Hi loves! I finally managed to write some more after the crazy week I had. Hope you like it, your witch Becky
Requests are open I Ask
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KINKTOBER ...........-..........KINKTOBER TAGLIST 2023
DAY 3: Sex pollen
It's an easy mission they said.
Touch and go, they won't even know you passed by they said.
Assholes. Liars. Bastards. Especially liars though.
This is all I can think of as the Shadowsinger and I find ourselves running through the trees being chased by the guards of the lord we had gone to spy on. Someone must have warned of our arrival, because a few minutes after arriving on the spot, we were already surrounded by enemies. We fought to the end, but were forced to retreat into the woods, seeking safety in escaping through that labyrinth of logs, hoping that those stupid enforcers would not be able to follow us.
It seems like hours that we are running when we finally decide to stop, in the vicinity of a cave, so that we can find refuge from the darkness and our pursuers.
"We finally lost those assholes." My companion comments, sitting back against the cave wall, leaning his head against the rock and showing his neck, leaving it exposed to my gaze.
That simple gesture kindles a fire in me that burns brightly, and I feel compelled to look away. I close my head between my legs and feel Azriel's gaze on me as he approaches. I feel him rest a hand on my shoulder, and I can't help but moan at that simple contact. I feel my cheeks get hot, but he doesn't flinch and asks me worriedly, "Hey, are you okay?" I can't bring myself to look at his face so I nod slightly still with my head between my legs and mutter a nonsensical apology. He still tries for a moment to wrest the truth from my lips, but I don't even flinch for a second. Azriel, seeing then that I did not intend to explain anything, stands up.
"I'm going to gather some wood for the fire, or we'll freeze to death tonight." He says, as he approaches the exit of the cave. I glimpse from below my knees the color of the sky, which is now turning blue.
"Okay, I'll stay here." I tell him in a whisper loud enough for him to hear me. I guess he nods, before walking out of our shelter, leaving me to think about why I took that action earlier. Ever since we escaped from the building I feel a strange sensation permeating my body, but I hadn't given it too much thought before since my priority was to run away from the guards, but it's as if after all that effort that feeling has expanded to the nth degree. It almost feels as if my body no longer belongs to me: I feel a wet sensation between my panties, while the fabric of my T-shirt brushing against the skin of my breasts sends shivers down my spine as my nipples harden against my bra. I squeeze my thighs together trying to ease that sensation, but it all proves futile. I feel a wave of embarrassment rise through my body again, thinking that this is all due only to a small gesture from the Shadowsinger.
Eventually I decide to lie down and try to get some sleep hoping that with a good dose of rest the next day I would wake up feeling better than I am now. I lie down with some difficulty on the floor only to fall unconscious in the arms of Morpheus after a few seconds.
But all is in vain, because in the middle of the night I suddenly wake up all sweaty. I sit up while with one hand I hold my chest. I feel the fire from before writhing in my gut, and on instinct my other hand goes to my center automatically, but realizing my gesture I immediately freeze.
Azriel was sitting in front of the fire, and seeing me feeling so sick he immediately approaches me, touching my forehead to feel if I had a fever. Immediately he retracts his hand feeling how hot I am, and makes me lie of me.
"You try to lie to me one more time about feeling good, and I swear I will never make you go on a mission with me again, and I will make sure Rhysand doesn't either." Says Azriel, as he removes part of my suit, to let the cold night wind cool me down a little. I again find myself letting escape a moan of pleasure as I feel that cool night breeze brush against my warm skin. I feel my nipples becoming turgid as I somehow try to get away from the Shadowsinger's constant touch, which is only making the situation I am in worse.
"I would say now is not the time to lecture me Az." I reply as I try to catch my breath. The Illyrian looks conflicted, but finally stands up and looks me straight in the eye.
"I'll try to do something. You stay here, and in case you give a yell, I'll be back here in less than a second." Says Azriel before disappearing into the night.
I stay looking at the place where he disappeared for a few minutes, trying to distract myself from the feeling of pain and the impossibility of having what my body desires, but finally I give in and begin to slowly run the fingers of my right hand over my center. I immediately feel the pain lessen, but like a drug, this never seems to be enough and I need more and more. My other hand wanders down my body until it rests on my breast and I begin to stimulate one of my nipples. My right hand I run it under my pants and for the first time my fingers come in contact with the wet lips of my pussy.
I remain in that limbo situation for what feels like an eternity experiencing enough pleasure to not die of pain and at the same time not enough to be completely well.
After what seems like hours, I hear Azriel's heavy footsteps getting closer. Quickly I try to look presentable, but immediately the lack of that little antidote causes me more pain than I felt before. I feel twinges in my abdomen that make me bend over, but despite this I look up at the man in front of me, and I cannot help but curse Mother for creating such a perfect being: he has not slept in days, he is drenched in sweat and tired, and yet he continues to be the most attractive person I have ever seen.
He stops to catch his breath, and only then do I realize that he no longer has the cape he was wearing before, in fact now his muscular arms are clearly evident, thanks in part to the tank top he was wearing.
"Where did your cloak go?" I ask, trying to distract myself in a very unsatisfactory way.
"I had to give it to Suriel, to get him to help me understand what you have." He says casually as he approaches me. At that gesture I try to pull away, but he doesn't let me, resting his hands on my shoulders. He then places his lips on my forehead to test whether I still have a fever. That gesture again unleashes a fire capable of burning whole woods in my stomach, and I groan, almost in pain, pushing him away from me.
"Did I hurt you?" Azriel asks worriedly, and I wave him off, so as not to worry him, but he doesn't seem convinced.
"What did Suriel tell you?" I ask, trying to change the subject.
"Well, as we were running away you spilled a jar of powders on yourself as we were going through that sorceress's store, remember?" Azriel says, looking at the ground, as if ashamed. I nod, remembering very well that damned jar, which made me sneeze for several minutes.
"You didn't read the label on that jar, did you?" He continues vaguely, so much so that nervous and without patience, I force him to look at me before answering him.
"Of course I didn't have time to look at it Az, go straight to the point." I say impatiently. His cheeks turn red, and he stammers something under his breath that I can't understand at first, so I ask him to repeat it. He raises his eyes and fixes his in mine, before repeating what he had tried to say before.
"It was sex pollen, the one that spilled on you." He says finally, and I feel the blood freeze in my veins, still in shock from the revelation he threw at me. "And according to Suriel, the only way to keep you from dying right now is to...well you know, go along with what your instincts are asking you to do."
"Thank you for explaining in such a nice way that I have to masturbate Az, really very nice." I say almost angry at him, even though I know I'm not really. I'm partly angry at myself for putting myself in that situation, but I can't do anything about it now, and now I'm also in danger of dying.
"Hey, I'm trying my best." He replies, scratching the back of his neck with his right hand, looking embarrassed.
"I know, I know Az, it's just-" I pause for a moment, trying to find a way to say it. I take a big breath and keep talking. "I've already tried touching myself, alone, down there, but it didn't do much good." I confess in a low voice, hoping he won't hear it, but unfortunately Shadowsinger's hearing is too acute to miss my confession. He freezes for a moment as if he is about to reason out what to do, then speaks again.
"I know." Azriel says in a guilty tone.
"What do you mean you know?" I ask shocked as I look at him, not understanding what he was referring to.
"Well the Suriel may or may not have told me that you would not be healed this way. "He continues as he watches the fire casting beams of light on the walls of the cave we are in. I stop again, and begin to reflect on all that I knew about these powders as I feel the pain getting worse and worse. By now I can feel my panties completely wet, as every single contact with what's around me unleashes a series of shivers that reaches to my core.
"I thought that was enough...well you get it. In all the books dealing with pollen with potential danger they say that's enough, be satisfied." I try to explain, as I draw a groan caused by my shifting which resulted in clenching my thighs together.
"I thought so too, but he said this doesn't count if-" He freezes as if he cannot find the words. I, growing more and more impatient, ask him aloud to continue.
"Az just doesn't seem like the time to be shy." I urge him to speak.
"He said it's not enough when you're in close proximity to your mate." He blurts out, standing up sharply. I squint my eyes not believing what my ears have just heard, but I immediately understand that feeling that has long been building in my heart toward my mate. Well I would say more than friend. I feel something forming in my chest that takes shape through a golden thread extending from my sternum to that of Azriel, who is currently turned his back to me as he looks out of the cave as if in the same there is the answer to this problem. Immediately I feel that silly happiness I felt at having found my mate, and that he was the man I actually loved all my life already disintegrating under the idea that he didn't want all that.
"You don't have to." I whisper, in the grip of ever-worsening cramps, but right now they seem like nothing more than mild pain compared to what my heart was feeling.
"You don't understand, if we don't do this, you will die and I won't let you die." He counters by turning around and dropping to his knees at my height looking me straight in the eye.
"I don't want your pity." I reply harshly as I try to get out of his sight, unable to do much given my condition, because I don't want him to see my suffering and the pain his rejection has triggered in me.
"No, I don't want my mate, the woman I've loved all my life to die and I'm pissed off at Mother because I didn't want it to happen like this between us the first time. I wanted to do everything right, take you to dinner, confess under the stars and then make love to you in my bed between the sheets I had specially chosen your favorite color, not on the floor in a stupid cave after risking our lives! When I knew you were my mate I wanted nothing more than to thank Mother, fate or whoever, but now I hate them because they had to pass the anger they vent on me to you, and I don't want to see you suffer because of me." He blurts out as he begins to walk around the cave again, then finishes his speech by looking at me. A strange light sparkles in his eyes, they look like the eyes of someone who loves to the point of being sick, to the point of suffering, and that love right now is directed at me. I can't believe his words, but that connection makes me feel that everything he just said is the truth, and immediately the happiness I lost a few moments ago returns, along with hope.
"We can still do it." I confess in a whisper and he immediately turns to me, his eyebrows furrowed over his beautiful eyes. "We can do it once we get home. We'll tell Rhys they can go screw him and his missions, and we'll take some time to figure this out and get used to it, and we can do everything you just said, because believe me I want to do all that with you."
"But?" He asks as he approaches.
"But now all I need is you fucking me as hard as you can in this shitty place so that I can stop dying and talk to you without having to moan every time." I say, as I grab his shirt with one hand, since he was now close enough to me, and kiss him with all the passion in my body.
I feel like I can finally breathe again as my lips on his, and I can already feel the pollen fade as the urge to feel Azriel inside me increases without measure.
"As my lady wishes." Whispers the Illiryan on my lips as we pull away from that breathless kiss. I immediately feel his lips graze my neck, to start biting and sucking on it as if his life depended on it. Every single movement of his lips and tongue made me touch the sky with one finger as I moaned his name as if I were a priestess intent on making a prayer and he the deity I believe in.
His lips then move from my neck to my breasts, where he begins to suck on my nipples like a hungry child. I bring my hands into his hair and pull them every time his tongue touches one of my sensitive spots.
"Baby doll, if you pull my hair one more time, I don't think I'll be able to keep myself from fucking you so hard I'll leave your silhouette on the floor of this place." He says pulling away for a moment to kiss my lips again.
My hands move down, and I begin to open his pants, while he begins to open mine.
"All words, I want to see some action." I reply, trying not to give away how much his words had affected me. He smirks, realizing that he actually made a mark with what he said, just brushing against my panties and feeling how wet they are.
"You will regret saying what you just said baby doll." Az replies, as with a quick gesture he enters of me. I didn't even notice that he had moved both my and his panties, but right now I don't care.
Feeling his cock inside me is an otherworldly experience. I can feel the walls of my pussy tighten around his sizable member as he tries to stay as still as possible to get me used to his size.
"Tell me if it hurts, or if you feel like you can't take it anymore, okay?" He asks softly, as he kisses my sweaty forehead. I feel the cramps from the sex pollen return, and I groan before I answer him.
"Az, I can't take it anymore, either you move or I swear I'm going to flip you over and start doing what I need to do on my own." I say, trying to move my hips slightly and create some friction, but he stops me, resting his hips on mine and giving that silly little smile that makes him so sexy.
"Oh, I can't wait to see you ride my cock, but I'd say leave that experience for another time. Tonight is just for you, and for your pleasure." He comments and then begins to move.
Immediately I feel every single part of the universe fall into place as he gradually increases his speed. My body seems to be persecuted everywhere with shivers of pleasure as his lips rest lightly on my breasts again. Between his mouth, his cock, and the sex pollen in my body my orgasm seems to come with a speed I never expected.
"Please Az, don't stop." I say groaning, feeling the pleasure grow more and more every second.
"Oh baby I could never deprive myself of the feeling of my cock against your cervix. You're going to come, aren't you?" She whispers back as I try to nod. "Then we'll come together love."
"Yes, please Az fill me." I continue, and I feel her muscles tense even more under my touch.
"Honey don't challenge me, you know I could fuck you so hard you wouldn't walk tomorrow even if you prayed to Mother." He counters by increasing his speed.
"It would certainly be worth it." I answer as I now feel I am on the edge of oblivion, just one thrust would be enough to sink into pleasure. I hold my breath for a moment as I feel him move for the last time before my body begins to move in convulsions of pleasure, and my vision becomes totally blurred.
I feel him releasing all his semen inside me shortly after coming, and I feel him lying on top of me, relaxing.
We stay like that for a few minutes before he starts laughing. I look at him not understanding why he is laughing until he explains himself.
"God, I guess in the end I will have Rhys to thank for this mission." Whispers Az.
"Actually it wasn't that bad." I comment, laughing in turn.
"Let's say it had its upsides." He replies with a wink. "But don't think it's over here, wait until you get home, and when I'm done with you the only thing you'll remember is my name."
Yes I would say we definitely have Rhys to thank.
TAGLIST
@horneybeach1 @peachyxrosie @whoreforblackhill @forsiriussake @ash04w3 @l3viathanpup @ohemgeewhat @123345566 @kidsaproblem @lust4lucille @lisamanban123 @alina02 @shodowbane09 @supernatural-lvr
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Text
More Than A Handful - Mick Schumacher
this was a request by @i-wish-this-was-me for a reader with big boobs. they said any driver and i have written for Mick but i wasn’t happy with the story plots so i ended up just not posting them.
Gonna makes this kind of like an obsession/appreciation of big boobs. No smut for Mick yet. Lot's of love, lot's of fluff.
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Mick is generally a sweet, softly spoken and very romantic man. He loves his girlfriend unconditionally and he actually has the likes of Esteban and Lance to thank for pushing him to find the courage to ask her out.
She was actually a stylist for Mercedes via Tommy Hilfiger.
Y/n is not a size 0 despite her position in fashion. She's probably better described as a healthy weight for her height and age. She doesn't have some unhealthy relationship with food and she does workout when she decides she's up for it.
But something Mick absolutely adores is completely obsessed with. Her boobs.
He doesn't publicly go out and grab her boobs to hold like he does when they're alone.
"Y/n?" Mick calls out as he walks into her apartment, she actually lives in Paris because there's offices based there and while she is usually travelling or simply working from home. She likes being close to the office when needed so living there is ideal.
"Hey, baby." Y/n smiles appearing very much dressed down. Clearly having what she'd dupe as a "deep clean" day. Which is essentially her way off spending a day off that she wasn't expecting to see her boyfriend. "I thought you were-oh ok."
Mick sighs lifting her up onto the kitchen island, pulling her vest top and reaches back to unclip her bra, getting it off of her with ease before cupping her boobs.
It's a ritual that she should certainly be used to by this point and she definitely is used to it.
"I finished the sim session early. I think they got all the data they wanted to use." Mick explains while gently kissing her skin. "It's a deep clean day?"
"Well, I mean I haven't got to clean around here for a while, so I figured it'd be good to just try and spend the day catching up with myself." Y/n sighs then laughing when Mick hums rubbing a thumb over her nipple.
Now don't be mistaken. Mick is just as focused on her boobs during sex as he is right now, but this is actually completely innocent. His love of her body isn't always sexually motivated, especially with her boobs and she's never felt as confident about herself as she does since their relationship started.
"I can help." Mick states slightly absently before finally tearing those pools of blue up to meet her own eyes, that soft smile gracing his features as he locks onto her gaze. "You are so beautiful."
"You think so?"
"I know you are." Mick smiles then leaning down and kissing her and of course giving each of her boobs.
-
Going on a trip with Esteban and a few others for the summer break. It's not probably the most relaxing trip that y/n could imagine. Even if her boyfriend is practically acting as a bra with the amount of time's spending just keeping his hands cupping her boobs.
Thankfully no one cares and it's been pretty normalised as just how Mick is with y/n, but when they are just dozing in the sun. Y/n does jump a little when she gets that weird falling sensation.
"Hey, you're ok." Mick soothes as she rolls so she's chest to chest with him, whining a little at the fact her sleep disturbed itself. Her face moving to hide in his neck.
He sighs gently rubbing her back and gently before he smiles and kisses her neck. Eventually he sort of joins her, just sleeping in the warmth. Though admittedly Mick is just so aware of his comfort coming from the feeling of y/n's boobs pressed against his chest.
Some might be foolish enough to think that Mick's love of y/n's body is shallow but those who know that love includes loving someone's body for the way that it's made. Is one of the best feelings in the world. Y/n couldn't appreciate his constant need to touch her more, even if it's focused in one area. She knows he'd never put her boobs above her personality or a whole other list of things that he loves about her. It's just one of the most physical things about her that he won't even deny himself the pleasure of loving.
Eventually they are woken up and move to join everyone for food.
-
Y/n works closely with George and Lewis, though Lewis insists he doesn't need to help when y/n pulled up photos of outfits he had previously worn and she give him every reason that they weren't his finest fashion choice (though she also used many of his previous looks as inspiration to move forward too).
"I think Mick should be allowed to style you." Lewis comments as she rummages through the new stock that Tommy Hilfiger has sent over trying to find a specific piece that she thought looked cool.
"I tried that once." Y/n hums making Lewis look at her. "He uhhh...just wanted as close to having my boobs completely out as possible. Which was fun and sort of empowering but I think Toto might say there's a dress code of at least covering under boob."
"If he did, I'd be there to defend you and I'm sure Mick would be too." Lewis states making her smile for a moment before none other than the blonde angel himself appears, very obviously looking for his girlfriend.
"Lewis, Toto is asking of you."
"And you came for me." Y/n smiles moving to hug her arms around his neck. "Lewis was just saying how he's help you teammate up against any accusations of me breaking team dress code with your suggestion of what I should wear for work."
Mick hums leaning down to kiss her as Lewis exits from the wardrobe room. Smiling to himself at the sight of seeing Mick so obviously lovestruck with someone who is easily the most perfect person for him.
"Speaking of you boobs. We have some free time and you said you wanted to spend time at the hotel pool. Would you like to join me?" Mick asks making her roll her eyes before she laughs and shakes her head at him.
"That sounds pretty amazing to me." Y/n giggles before she looks around. "Might steal some of the Lewis rejections. They'll just toss them out and god knows that I can pull any one of this looks off."
"Can I help you find the best pieces?" Mick asks making her eyes sparkle in a way that he knows is exclusive to him.
She has friends in the paddock, she's close to Lewis and George through work and a slowly formed friendship. But the ways he looks at her is returned in the way she looks at him. Nothing but love and admiration runs deep in their affection for each other.
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catcze · 7 months
Note
Hiii catte, just wanted to appreciate your work towards the whoreslay nation I EAT UP everything you put out.
Hmmmm as for wrio thoughts, maybe him making pink coloured tea after finding out it’s your favourite colour 😏 better yet, a pink themed tea party.
(yes I am encouraging you to write something self-indulgent because the yoinking accessories off your person fic has been rotting in my brain despite my irl aesthetic being like wrio. I just think it’s cute :])
Take care and have a lovely day/evening/night✨
anon i literally love youuu thank you for enabling me to be self indulgent tee hee ♡ take care too baby !!
Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!
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It's something so offhanded— you hadn't expected him to give it much importance.
"Something wrong with the tea?" Wriothesley asks one afternoon, brows furrowing when he notices that you had yet to take a sip of your teacup. Instead, you had been staring at your drink for quite some time, lost in thought.
His question startles you out of whatever thoughts you were having, though. "What? Oh— no no, nothing like that. It's just... the color's really pretty," you tell him bashfully, a small smile on your face.
Wriothesley looks down at his own cup in thought. To him it's just... pink? It tasted good, don't get him wrong. Sweeter than some of the other teas he had served before, thanks to the dries strawberries and raspberries that had been infused into the tea. But he didn't realize that it was something you found particularly entrancing.
That one instance with the tea makes him notice something afterwards: you always had something pink on your person. Whether that be a charm, an accessory, a piece of clothing, or if your whole outfit was just the color pink. Even the color of some of the foods you eat— cakes with pink berry cream, milk colored pink with strawberries, you name it. If there's food with anything pink on it, chances are you're going to try it. Wriothesley honestly wonders how he doesn't realize it sooner.
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When you walk up the stairs to Wriothesley's office, you're expecting it to be just any other afternoon tea session with him. Maybe, if he wants to spice things, he got his hands on a foreign blend that he wants you to taste. Maybe he brought some cakes and crepes from a new bakery in the city.
What you are not expecting, however, is for his dark and relatively industrial-looking office to be covered head to toe in pink.
All you can do is gape, mouth open as you try to take in the barrage of pastel pinks, creams, and whites that decorate the whole space. Even Wriothesley himself, who meets you at the landing of the staircase, has donned a little bit of pink against his otherwise black outfit— one of your pink neck ties replaces his usual red, and a heart shaped earring dangles from his ear, both obviously pilfered from your collection.
"What—" you can't help but giggle, giddy and overcome with wonder. "What is this?"
"Nothing special," your boyfriend says humbly, even though what he did means the world to you. "Just wanted to do something nice for you, is all. You really seem to like the color pink, so I thought to myself... giving you a pink tea party is definitely something I can do."
You can feel your heart swell, choking up because damn you love this man so much, and he loves you even more. You can't bring yourself to say anything, can't even will away the tears gathering in your eyes because you're so touched by this sweet, sweet man and all the love he's handed to you on a silver platter. You sniff, and you can already feel the waterworks coming.
Wriothesley panics when he sees the way your lip wobbles and the way your eyes shine with tears. He grimaces, hands immediately going to your arms to hold you and pull you close. And if anything, that just makes you cry even more.
"What's wrong, baby?" he murmurs into your hair, hand petting your back in an attempt to soothe you. You just hiccup, burying into his warm chest even further, neither of you caring about how you're getting tears on his shirt.
You cry for a bit more and Wriothesley lets you, cooing into your ear. He hugs you close, kisses your forehead, and runs his hands through the ends of your hair, carefully undoing any tangles. And when the tears die down, you pull away from his chest with a small sniff, just enough to be able to look at his face.
"All done?" He asks, and you nod, rubbing the tears from your eyes. No doubt you look like a mess— bitten lips, tear stains, swollen eyes and messy hair, but Wriothesley still looks at you like you're the only thing in this world worth looking at.
"Sorry," you begin, voice hoarse, "I- I just really love this—" you cast a glance around the room, eyes tearing up again, but you try your best not to cry this time. "And I just really love you. So, so, so much. You make me so happy," you tell him, leaning close and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Wriothesley's heart races. His face flushes and his hands shake and gods he can feel an itch in his eyes that he does his best to tamp down, because no doubt if he started crying, so would you, and the tea he worked so hard to prepare would go cold, and he can't have that. So he inhales deeply, wipes away your tears with the pad of his thumb, and leads you by the hand to the pink table where your pink tea party awaits.
"I love you too, sweetheart," He murmurs, sitting across from you, still holding your hand over the table. "Forever and always."
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flwrshee · 8 months
Text
✉️ JAKE AS YOUR BF
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duo ﹒ jake x fmr genre fluff wc 05k warnings not proofread
jake will not let go of you
i say that in most hcs but jake is glued to you
my boy will get scared when you let go of his hand for a second
hugging you anytime and anywhere
he wraps his big biceps around your small figure
clinging is arms on your waist is a must
sometimes you don't know whether he is a grown man or a toddler
head pats !!
he loves loves loves to ruffle and pat your hair
your hair is so soft for him
his hands never leave your hair
while your on his lap his hands are busying playing with your hair
ruffles you hair whenever he thinks your cute (basically all the time)
especially when you come back home and run to him
hugs you and ruffles your hair
jake has pictures of you everywhere
polaroids of you and him in his room, your picture in his wallet and even a separate photo album for you on his phone
he likes staring at you
he could stare at you forever and never get bored
jake observes little habits that you have
tucking your hair behind your ear, biting your nails and even the way you eat certain foods
he watches everything
calls you baby and babe
they are classics and jake likes them
"baby, we need to buy some strawberries."
"babe, what's for dinner today?"
"baby, please put this away for me."
"babe, your new dress is gorgeous."
jake uses them so much that it feels weird when he doesn't
you think he's mad at you when he calls you 'yn'
probably isn't a spam texter
spams memes though
he thinks its so funny when you give dry texts at them back
he knows you are laughing so hard irl
lots of 'i miss you' and 'i love you' texts
just to make sure that you know he is always thinking about you
good morning and good night messages are a must
its what you wait for when you wake up and before you sleep
jake is a half and half with calling and texting
but he loves to go on call before he sleeps
sleeping with your voice in the background helps him have a good night's sleep
however he texts you really silly and goofy things
memes that make no sense, keyboard smashes and just random pictures
did you see this video 😭😨
times like that make him cuter for you
jake is a kisser, a very good one
he loves physical touch so much
he basically cannot live with out it, especially when it comes from you
kissing your lips is a very normal thing for you and jake
it happens almost every where
his lips are just so cute and plump and always in a pout
he's so kissable, how can you not steal a quick peck?
he thinks you have the prettiest lips ever
addicted to them at this point
sulks when you don't give him kisses :(
loves taking you on dates
it's his favourite thing to do with you
picnic dates and dog walking dates are his faves
layla and your dog playing around while you and jake talk about random things
what could be better lets be honest
and picnics are the best in general
you cook lots of food for him
you love seeing the smile on his face when he eats your food
and he loves eating it
makes you kiss his lips, again
yes i know i just couldn't stop myself from writing that
© flwrshee
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 7 months
Note
Hello my fellow ghost, I have this idea that came to my mind while reading some crack sites, imagine a Creator! Reader irritated, did not sleep well, a lot of work any excuse and goes for a walk to clear his mind, then simply sticks on the little finger with some object.
He shouts: FOR THE NAME OF!!, I AM STAR TO SERIUSLY CONSIDERING ERASE (nation in which it is) OF THE MAP.
Along with another irrelevant insult, then how would they react if some acolyte is near or even better the archons of a certain nation. I don't know, I laughed for myself thinking about this and I do not know if you will also find it funny.
In any case if you do not feel free to ignore or if you want some idea to write the priv is available. Bird says goodbye
Hello, @pajarokujo ! Though I do not see the humor, I can get what you're going for! (Is this how Tighnari and Collei feel when Cyno cracks a joke?— /lh)
I'll just do the Archons for this since I think they'd have the best reactions LOL
Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Tantrum
You were a little furious. You hadn't mean what you said, but in the attempt to calm yourself down, you jabbed at one part of the map and screamed, "THIS NATION. I WANT IT DECIMATED. PERMANENTLY." forgetting completely that you were the Creator and your booming voice could be practically heard by everyone.
Yes...they're panicking.
(Warning: Might Be OOC & Written Before 4.1 Special Program!)
Venti
Wisp boy is now panicked wisp boy. He ain't gonna stop trying to find a solution to save Mondstadt from your wrath until he drops dead. Quite literally.
Man, this bard is going crazy—all of his ballads have a slight air of panic to it, since everyone practically heard your threat from beyond the heavens.
So when you practically run into Mondstadt to personally reassure everyone that you aren't going to decimate the nation, Venti immediately sees your presence as his doom. He tries to keep it cool, and it sort of works? (It doesn't)
"AHAHA, YOUR GRACE!~ COME JOIN THIS HUMBLE BARD TO SEE THE GREAT TREE OF VANESSA!" "Venti, I swear to you, I—" "YOUR GRACE, IT'S WORTH IT PLEASE—"
Yeah, he's not taking the news well. But at least he'll collapse from relief knowing Mondstadt wasn't in danger after you clear up your mistake so yeah 👍 Good job, Creator!
Zhongli
The moment he hears you say that, this man is both protective over his baby (his nation) and hella scared of what the heck you're going to do to erase the Geo Nation off of the map.
When you try to enter Liyue, you "coincidentally" bump into Zhongli who tries to distract and stall you from your "objective," while also try and figure out your motive.
"Your Grace, may you please accompany me to Jueyun Karst? I believe the view there might be well, and I am in need of finding Jueyun chilis." "Zhongli, I—" "Thank you, Your Grace. Please, accompany me."
He does his absolute best to prove to you that Liyue is not a nation worth decimating for. When he hears that it was all just a misunderstanding and that, no, you weren't planning on destroying Liyue at all, he sighs in relief and decides to treat you all to tea.
Even you know y'all need it.
Raiden Ei
Gurl's not having a good time. It's almost like pre-Inazuma Archon Quest all over again. Ei's doing her best to make sure that Inazuma is the most well-behaved nation and yeah, it's kind of a disaster
The moment you step foot into Inazuma, you immediately sent to Tenshukaku to talk to Raiden Ei. She's even got Yae Miko on board with this—they cannot afford to lose Inazuma.
"Your Grace, please listen." "Ei, please—" "Inazuma has diligently followed all your orders, and we will continue to do so if you bless our nation with the chance to continue to thrive." Ei is almost going back to a similar state of being "close to the heavenly principles," only except she's here in the present and not in her eternal meditation.
The moment you get her to hear you out and that, no, Inazuma's not going anywhere, she nearly deflates on the spot. But, as she's the Raiden Shogun, she tries her best to stay composed.
Nevertheless, she's forever relieved that Inazuma is still favored by you.
Nahida
Like the others, she panics. While she is heavily worried about her subjects, and how they're faring, she has to leave that to the Akademiya's Grand Sage while she tries her best to find the reason as to why you want to decimate Sumeru.
She's heavily in thought and the moment you barge into the Sanctuary of Surasthana, Nahida immediately panics, thinking this is the end—the time you tell her to step down and watch Sumeru fall. Nevertheless, she wants Sumeru to live, and she tries to put up a fight.
"Your Grace, please tell me—what is it that made you hate Sumeru?" "Nahida, please...." "We've done nothing wrong, as far as I am aware of. Is there something that was done that makes you think Sumeru betrayed you?" She's determined to not only stall, but get you to tell your (non-existent) reasoning as to why you want Sumeru destroyed.
She's probably the easiest archon that you will be able to tell them that it was not true, and when Nahida hears this, she is both relieved, overjoyed, and making a mental note of your temperament.
Yes, she's going to five you her research about how to deal with your mood. Have fun!~
Furina
Boy oh boy...if you thought Venti was dramatic, Furina goes FULL ON dramatic. The moment she hears this, it's almost like the prophecy all over again. She panics, and she immediately demands that the charges against criminals become more brutal, and that their theatrics and soap opera are to be only top-peak level. (Neuvillette's getting a headache dealing with her, you can tell—)
When you manage to get to Fontaine, you almost don't even recognize it. The citizens are so quiet when you arrived, and moving away from you respectively as Furina immediately rushes forward and whisks you away to the Opera Epiclese to entertain you.
"Furina, please listen—" "Don't you worry about a thing, Your Grace, for I, Focalors, shall show you how Fontaine will regain your approval through their justice, and through their opera!" "Furina—" "Please, Your Grace, rejoice in our spectacles, and enjoy the feast that is brought to your majesticness!"
We know all too well that Furina is a good actor. And this situation really proves how much she's hiding her panic, despite the fact that it's killing her. She's probably the most difficult, a little above Ei, archon that will hear you out about your accidental temperament.
When you somehow manage to get Furina to listen, she immediately deflates on the spot, before immediately putting back on her elegant posture. She asks Neuvillette to go back to normal charges, and she lowers the bar for the stories, allowing her subjects the breathing room that they're used to.
She treats you to Fontaine desserts, so win-win, yeah?
And we're done! I hope you guys enjoyed it lol—See you next time! :D
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: THIS TOOK TOO LONG—MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SJGHKJGHEUHSIE SORRY-
Please feel free to send me any of your requests for Fontaine! I'm too obsessed rn lol—especially Fremmie (Freminet)!!! Anyways, hope y'all doing well lol—see you next time :)
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 2 months
Text
He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Five
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Summary: Taehyung gets careless and breaks your heart yet again. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Implied yändere and mentions of signs of trauma because of it. (nothing too extreme) a/n: It's taken me so long to get this chapter out I'm sorryyy but I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you so much for your continued support on my stories and I hope you'll look forward to the next part!
Jungkook's visit last week really had me thinking about the choices I make on the daily. 
I stopped stressing about what Taehyung might be doing when he's away and started thinking about ways I could improve myself.
It wasn't anything major but I wanted to take baby steps.
For instance, setting up a schedule for when I wake up and always making sure to not stay up past midnight. Along with promising myself to at least sit and write for a couple of hours per day but also taking breaks when I felt I needed to. I would come back though and finish only when I was satisfied and came to a proper stopping point.
Implementing these little changes in my life has worked wonders on my confidence and peace of mind. I feel like I'm accomplishing something and getting some sort of fulfillment in the day to day which I haven't been able to say for the past few years.
I guess all of this can be chalked up to Jungkook. 
I know I'm ultimately the one who's implemented these things into my life but if he hadn't given me that push, I don't think I would've ever gotten to even see these small victories.
While I'm in the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee I hear a faint chime on my laptop and I smile knowing exactly who it is.
'Good morning Noona, did you sleep well?'  I read from the all too familiar jkjkjk.97  and smile seeing that my suspicions were correct.
'I slept like a baby, who knew going to bed before dawn would do wonders!'  I send back and when I try to stand up to walk back over to the kitchen I'm met with another email popping up from him.
'That's good! I'm happy to see that you're feeling a bit better these days :)'  he sends and I smile at the fact that he's just as eager to reply to me. It's been like this ever since that day he dropped off my groceries. He would send me emails first thing in the morning almost like clockwork.
I'm surprised that he manages to keep a similar schedule to mine but I don't really know what he does most days except work. 
I know he works at the grocery store but it seems to me like he's always working at odd hours. Most days even well past closing so it's got me thinking about what else he could possibly do for a living.
It's none of my business but I can't help but be curious about it since when I ask him how his day went, he usually says he's still working even though it seems like he's been working since dawn. 
I really want to ask him but I don't want to pry. He seems like the kind of guy that keeps to himself and open up when he's ready. 
I'm just hoping that there will come a day where he'll trust me as much as I have grown to trust him.
My thought process his interrupted by the sound of keys jingling in the door and my heart sinks to my stomach when I'm brought back to reality.
"Hey baby" Taehyung greets while taking off his shoes. It's Saturday so he doesn't have work which means he might be hanging around here for a while before no doubt heading out again. 
"Hey" I respond quietly, feeling as though I'm retreating back into myself, not really being able to relax until I know what kind of headspace he's in.
"Where's my welcome home kiss from my gorgeous wife?" he asks while walking over to where I'm sitting at my desk. He leans down and kisses me on the lips, moulding his mouth against mine while I crane my neck up and return the kiss, placing a hand on his cheek to keep him connected.
"Welcome home" I let out after he pulls back, panting slightly as he nudges his nose against mine before standing up straight again. "Have you been up long?" he asks, him having gone out late last night and surprisingly turning up here again bright and early.
I hum in acknowledgment, "I've been waking up earlier these days so I can get a jump start on my writing and trying to go to bed earlier" I respond while watching his back as he walks over to the kitchen.
"Oh really? How's that going?" he questions, pouring himself a cup of coffee and walking back into the living room, waiting patiently for my answer. 
"Well it's been nice to implement a bit of a routine since my days and nights have kind of been all over the place for a while. Plus, I feel like this story is really coming along. I even started mapping out ideas for the next book in the series!" I say and he looks at me as if he's almost falling in love with me again, making me shy under his gaze.
"That's amazing honey. I feel like I haven't seen you smiling like this in a really long time. "Looks like all you needed was a little discipline to really get your life back together huh?" he say while giving me a knowing look, cocking his head to the side and letting his eyes roam my body for a second. No doubt looking at the faint bruises he'd left from last week.
"I guess so" I say, awkwardly rubbing my bicep where he had grabbed me. "How are you feeling?" he questions, coming a bit closer and ghosting his fingers over the marks. "I'm fine, they don't hurt as much anymore" I say, slipping my arm out if his grasp.
"That's good, I'm sorry I got a little rough with you. I was frustrated with some work stuff and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair of me" he apologizes while brushing the hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "It's okay" I say quietly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze. 
"No, it's not okay" he says tilting my chin up and making me make eye contact.
"I haven't been treating you well and I wanna make it up to you" he says, caressing my face with the hand that he used to tilt my chin up. "Okay" I whisper as he leans down to connect our lips again but before they're able to touch his phone rings. 
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone and the name Tiffany flashes across the screen with a kiss emoji at the end, giving me a name to associate as to why he's actually never home. 
"I've gotta take this" he says and I nod my head to show I don't mind even though my heart is breaking more and more with each ring. He gives me a quick kiss to apologize before answering the call and walking into the kitchen. 
I take that as a sign that he'll be leaving for the night again and head into the bathroom since it's the one place he won't question as to why I've shut him out. I close the lid of the toilet and cover my ears so I can't hear him but curiosity gets the best of me and I hold my breath to see if I can make any words out despite my whole motives of coming here in the first place.
"No I ca-. Well I just got here I-. Okay, okay fine I'm coming. Let me just come up with an excuse to tell her and I'll be there soon. Okay? Alright, love you too. Bye" I hear him say and he ends the call. I cover my mouth, trying to stop any sounds of heartbreak that might come out and listen as he walks down the hall to our room. 
"Y/n? Honey where are you?" he asks, barely bothering to look for me. "I'm in here" I say, turning on the sink to drown out the sound a bit to prevent him from hearing how wobbly my voice sounds from the emotions I'm trying to keep at bay. 
"I've gotta head out for the day but I'll be back tomorrow night. You gonna be okay?" he asks as if he cared about me. "Yeah I'll be fine don't worry, I'll see you then" I yell above the sound and he says a quick goodbye through the door in return and leaves soon after. 
Once I hear the front door close I let some of those choked sobs go.
He's never been that obvious before. Does he just not bother to hide since he sees that I don't question him about it? I don't even know why I still care since it's very clear that he doesn't care about me.
At that I look at my phone and see that there's another email from Jungkook that came in a little while ago which gives me motivation enough to dry my eyes and get myself together so I can head back out to my laptop and get lost in this safe haven we've created for each other. 
'Did you forget about me already?'  he questions, seeing as it has taken me a while to respond. I couldn't risk doing it and Taehyung finding out about us. Even though there is no 'us' when it comes to Jungkook and I, unlike that Tiffany girl he just left me for today.
'I'm sorry Taehyung came home. He just left though...'  I send and get a response back immediately, seeing he's been waiting for my response.
'Are you okay? Did something happen?'  he asks and I smile at the thought that there is someone out there that cares enough to ask. 
We've been emailing each other everyday since he came over and I've opened up to him a bit more about my relationship with Tae and he's been really good at just letting me talk and just being there for me. Always talking me through things and helping me process no matter if it's problems with Tae or even other more mundane things like writer's block. 
He's just there, no matter what.
'Can we meet up today?' I type out but hesitate, letting my hand hover over the mouse. 
Watching, waiting, worrying about if this would be a good idea but before making that decision myself I accidentally hit send when I try to put my hand down to rest it on my lap. 
"Shit" I say out loud but before I can figure out how to unsend the message I get a response back. 
'Sure :) Did you want to meet at the Blue Pearl? Or should I come over?'  he asks and I hold my breath, weighing the pros and cons to this whole situation and decide to just say fuck it and do what I want for once. 
'Can you come over?'  I send and close my laptop, too nervous to look at his reply. "What the fuck am I doing inviting a younger guy to my apartment when my husband is gone? What am I doing?" I say out loud and pace back and forth until I hear the chime come from my phone this time. 
'Be there soon :)'  "I'm fucked" I admit out loud before running around and quickly getting myself and the house ready.
 ~~~~~
A rhythmic pattern of knocks plays and puts my mind at ease while I walk towards the door and open it. 
"Noona!" he greets with a smile before giving me a hug that catches me off guard making me take a step back to help me stay balanced. "Thank you for coming" I say while returning his embrace and letting go a second later so I can step aside to let him in. 
"Are you okay?" he asks after having taken off his shoes and taken in my form to what I don't realize is to look for any signs of harm. "Yes I'm fine" I say with a sad smile yet know for a fact that even if I try to deny it he can read me like a book. 
"Then why were you crying?" he asks, looking at my red eyes and flushed cheeks. "I heard Tae talking to one of the girls he's cheating on me with" I mumble and at that Jungkook takes my hand and leads me over to the couch without saying a word.
"He didn't even try hard to hide it. Like he has a stupid kiss emoji next to her name and everything. He had only been here for like twenty minutes tops before he left" I spill out. He keeps a hold of my hand, looking down at it while I let out all the things I've been holding in. 
The worries, the doubts, the fear, the stress. I don't know when it started and I can't figure out how to make it stop. 
"I don't know what to do" I admit, looking down at my lap, watching as the tears fall from my eyes and onto the fabric of my jeans. 
"Do you want me to be honest and tell you what I think or do you want me to just listen?" he asks, rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Be honest?" I pose almost as a question, knowing this is the ugly truth I've been hiding from. 
"Can you tell me more than one reason as to why you should stay with him? Besides him being your husband" he asks, sitting silently and waiting for me to respond, giving me time to think it through but when I shake my head he goes forward with posing his argument. 
"If you can't manage to come up with a reason as to why you should stay with him then what's keeping you from leaving? I know you said that you're scared and you don't know what to do but the fact that you're not doing anything is hurting you more than if you decided to leave him" he states, I just nod my head and listen, letting him say his piece.
"He's hurting you. He's hurting you physically" he says while ghosting his fingers along the bruises that run up my arm, "Mentally" he continues brushing the hair off of my face and rubbing his thumb up against my temple "And sexually" he finishes, taking note of the hickeys and the way I flinch away from him when he tries to lay his hand on my neck. 
"That's just how Taehyung is, he likes things rough" I say, making excuses for the marks that are clearly beyond rough sex. 
"But do you like it?" he questions, catching me off guard with an intimacy of the question. "He keeps me satisfied if that's what you mean" I answer curtly, hoping he'll take that as an answer. 
"That's not what I asked. Do you enjoy the way he has sex with you? Is that how you want to have sex?" he continues, not backing down from getting an answer out of me. I look up at him to see if he's seriously asking me that question and all I can see is a serious expression on his face.
"I don't mind it" I say, dancing around my answer. "Noona" he warns in a tone of voice he's never used with me, catching me off guard. 
"N-no. No I don't like it. It's too rough for me and I don't like it" I admit. He nods, casting his eyes down as if he's lost in thought before asking his next question. "Have you ever told him?" he questions and I shake my head only to realize moments later that he can't see me. "No I haven't told him" I respond quietly and he nods again before looking back up at me. 
"Why?" he asks and I'm left with one answer. "Because I'm afraid of what he might do to me if I say no" I explain. "I figure it's better to say yes and take it instead of saying no and having him force himself on me" I cover my mouth not realizing the fact that I said the thing that I was even too afraid to admit to myself.
"Has he ever forced himself on you?" he asks while clenching his jaw, clearly upset at the thought. "I didn't tell him no but I tried to make him see that I didn't want it but he didn't care to pay attention" I answer, getting rid of the filter seeing as it won't do either of us any good if I were to hold back. 
"That's one of the many reasons that you shouldn't even be with him anymore" he starts, his whole body tense, anger just bubbling under the surface. "You shouldn't have to be with someone you're scared of. I just don't kno-" 
"That's just it, you don't know. You told me that before, that I shouldn't be with someone that I'm scared of but you just don't get it. You've never been married. You've never had to deal with struggles like this. You make it sound so easy, that I could just leave and never look back but it's not that simple" I spout off, defending myself and my decisions. 
"Noona I just want to he-" "I know, I know" I say cutting him off but gaining a softer tone at the end, shrinking back into myself, ridding myself of my defensive behavior. "I'm sorry Jungkook, I shouldn't have said that. I asked you to come over and then I just yelled at you and I just..." I trail off, hating myself for doing that to him.
He tilts my head up and looks at me, studying my features and I cast my eyes down, too nervous to maintain his strong gaze. "Look at me" he says in a soft tone but I keep my eyes down, focused on my hands that I have balled into fists. 
"Look at me, please..." he whispers and at that I decide to do as he says and I see how his eyes have glossed over, the stars in them wavering. "He doesn't deserve you" he whispers cupping my face, running his thumb along my cheekbone to brush off a tear that I didn't even realize had fallen. 
"I don't know what to do" I let out in a choked sob, letting the tears that I've been holding in fall, never letting myself cry enough to feel better. He pulls me in and I latch onto him, burring my face into his shoulder as he holds onto me tighter, further showing me that I'm safe with him. 
"Whatever you need I'm here for you. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it" he says, the deep rumble of his voice brings me comfort. "I-" I start but cut myself off with another sob. "It's okay, just let it all out" he says and cling to him harder. 
After having sat there and cried with him for what felt like hours my sobs slowly die down to sniffles and my breathing patterns return to normal. "You okay?" he questions, more so asking if I had finished crying versus how I'm feeling about my current reality. I nod my head but nuzzle in closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet. 
"What's wrong?" he questions. "I don't want you to see my face" I complain into his shirt and he laughs at (from his perspective) how adorable I am. "Aw come on why not?" he chuckles and I nuzzle my face into his neck, making skin to skin contact without paying any mind to it. "My face is probably all red and my eyes are puffy from crying" I mumble against his neck. 
His body goes stiff but I don't take too much notice and move a bit closer to him, not realizing how I'm making him feel and only realize it after he clears his throat a few times. "Is something wrong?" I ask finally taking in how uncomfortable he seems. 
"No, nothing's wrong I just- no it's nothing" he says trying to backpedal out of this. "It's obviously something if you're reacting like that" I press, wanting him to be as truthful with me as I have been with him. 
"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" I say, pulling away from him. "No! Noona no, it's just that. Your lips were on my neck and you were really close and..." he trails off, hoping that's explanation enough. 
"I didn't even realize I was doing that, I'm sorry..." I trail off as well, hating that I made this situation even more awkward than it already is. "It's okay Noona I just, well I just want to make sure we don't cross a line and it was making it hard for me to do so" he explains.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask, wanting to know exactly what he's thinking. "It's just, well you're married and I think you know that I'm attracted to you by now so it was just making it hard for me to think straight" he admits and I nod my head and look down at my lap, not really knowing how I'm supposed to respond. 
"I hope this doesn't change things between us. I really do want to be your friend but I understand if I've made you uncomfortable. I just thought you should know" he finishes and waits with bated breath for my response. 
"Would things be different?" I question, not fully asking the question since I'm not sure if I want to know the answer. "Would things be different if what?" he presses. "Would things be different if I wasn't married?" I ask and I close my eyes, scared of seeing his reaction. 
"You can't just ask me that" he says and I look up at him to see his face turned away, showing how pink the tips of his ears have gotten and how his jaw is clenching. "Why not?" I press, needing to know based off of the kind of reaction he's giving me. 
"You don't know how hard I've been holding myself back" he says and tongues his cheek, making me widen my eyes at the motion. "Holding yourself back from what?" I press further, needing to know what's running through his mind right now. 
"From kissing you" he says, finally looking back at me, making eye contact before his eyes flicker down to my lips. "I-" "I should go" he says, cutting me off before I can say anything further. "Wait, no you don't have to go. I'm sorry" I say, trying my best to keep him here. I can't let him just run off after a confession like that but he's giving me no other option as I watch him stand up. 
"You have nothing to apologize for Noona. I shouldn't have said that. I do have to go though, my family is waiting for me back at home" he says and I widen my eyes, never having heard him talk about his family as of yet. 
"Family?" I question, my curiosity peaked. "Yeah I live with my mom and my three siblings" he says while walking over to put his shoes on. "Three?" I question and he nods his head not bothering to give me much more than that. 
"That's a topic of conversation for another time though" he says after he stands back up from tying his laces. "Oh okay" I say and hug myself, providing myself some comfort, hating to see him rushing out of here already. 
"They really are waiting for me. My mom has to work tonight so I'm stuck taking care of the kiddos" he says, giving me a soft smile before turning to open the door and I follow behind him. 
"Let me know when you get home okay?" I say, leaning up against the door frame. "I will" he says and reaches out to pull me in for a hug, accepting it right away. 
"I still want you in my life so please, don't disappear" I mumble into his chest and he hums in acknowledgment. "You can't get rid of me that easily. Not after I fought for that title of best friend" he says pulling back and looking down at me fondly and I smile back up at him before he places a hand on the side of my neck and leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.
"Bye Noona" he says, giving me a soft smile. I smile back up at him and return his sentiment before he turns to walk away.
I watch as he goes, waiting for him to get in his car where he looks back up towards my apartment, not expecting to see me waiting for him but smiles when he does. I smile back and wave and watch as he pulls out of his spot and makes his way out of the parking lot. 
"I'm really fucked" I mumble to myself and turn to walk inside my apartment. 
"He gets more and more handsome each time I see that young man" Mrs. Mitchell says, making me jolt back from the scare of being caught. 
"Mrs. Mitchell we didn't-" I start but she waves me off. "You don't need to make excuses to me love. Like I said last time, I wouldn't blame you if you did" she says and places a hand on my arm, noticing all the mixed emotions I have written all over my face. 
"Why don't we change the subject and have you sign those books we had spoken about the other day" she says, turning to walk towards the stack she had waiting by her front door like she had told me she would. 
I smile at her enthusiasm for my writing and and am thankful that she doesn't address what had happened between Jungkook and I anymore. 
"There you go" I say putting the cap on the pen and handing the last book back to her. "Thank you dear! The girls are going to love these!" she says placing the books back in their place. "Girls?" I question, chuckling at her reaction, so happy a simple thing like this could make her happy. 
"Yeah! The other women in my book club. I recommended your books to them and they've been begging me to get them a signed copy from you ever since" she says, turning back to face me. "Well I hope they enjoy them!" I reply happily, embarrassed still that woman of their age are reading it but thankful nonetheless. 
"We're all meeting together here next Sunday so maybe if you're not too busy writing you could stop by and have tea with us. I just know they would love to meet you!" she says, practically glowing with excitement. 
"I'll have to get back to you on that one but it sounds lovely" I smile, my heart swelling at the thought of meeting some of my readers. "Wonderful! But I'll let you get back to your day dear. Make sure to set aside some time to take care of yourself and relax tonight okay? You deserve it" she says placing a comforting hand on my arm before we both go our separate ways. 
As I close the door behind me I'm met with that all too familiar chime and I walk over to my desk, this time a bit more tentative than before, being nervous as to what I might find from my familiar friend jkjkjk.97
Home :) is all he sends but I decide to respond, nervous of the result if I don't, scared that he might shut me out or fade away.
Have fun with the kiddos tonight! And thank you for coming today, it really meant a lot to me  I send back, hoping to make things sound normal.
Anytime, let's see each other again soon. Okay?  he asks and I can tell he's waiting earnestly for a response. 
Okay. This time at The Blue Pearl so we can say 'Hi' to Rae. I miss her :(   I say, hoping that he won't take that as a way of me keeping him from coming over when I really do miss Rae. 
The Pearl it is! Goodnight Noona he says, ending the conversation early tonight, no doubt having a lot to do to manage three kids for the night. 
Goodnight Jungkook  I send and close my laptop, vowing to do as I had agreed upon and take the rest of the day to take care of myself. 
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