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toskaas · 1 year

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IVY, 21, est; SHE/HER. | if you’re hearing XS BY RINA SAWAYAMA playing, you have to know VIVIANNE PARK (SHE/HER; FEMALE) is near by! the 26 year old ACTRESS/THEATER TEACHER has been in denver for, like, HER WHOLE LIFE. they’re known to be quite SELF-INDULGENT, but being DETERMINED seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble PARK SOOYOUNG. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those REWATCHING OLD AUDITION TAPES, RED LIQUID TAPPING AGAINST A WINE GLASS, THE OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO BE ADORED vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the RIVER NORTH ART DISTRICT long enough!

hi luvs !! just wanted so say i'm ivy and it's sooo nice to meet u all ! info for her my first kid vivi is below, but please like this post if you'd like to plot ! malik's intro is coming v soon :)

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄

name: vivianne park

nickname: vivi / vi ( often used in place of her name by friends & family )

age: 26

gender: cis woman

birthday: april 11th

zodiac sign: aries

occupation: theatre teacher & semi-retired actress

sexual orientation: bisexual

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

vivianne's been raisied in denver her whole life , and is actually the sibling of daniel park ! she's definitely got little sister energy as you'll soon see lol.

vivianne has always been obsessed with the idea of getting attention ? which probably somewhat stems from her parents lacking in that department !

but since she was younger she'd make up these wild fantasy stories about if she was rich , famous , and everyone would know her name. it wasn't long before she began to really work towards that dream , and began to get heavily involved in school & community theatre programs !

by the time high school came , she knew she wanted to make her dreams a reality , and desperately wanted to get out of denver. so , to her delight she got accepted into a performing arts college in ny ( think juliard but smaller scale ?) and began working towards her dreams.

things were good ... for a while. it was her first time on her own which was terrifying, but she loved being able to party to her content without her city's watchful eye. she'd been able to pick up some decent acting & modeling gigs and started to think she could make it.

but ... she just couldn't. despite getting a few little gigs, she couldn't find enough to sustain her incredibly indulgent lifestyle by the time she's 4 years out of college. she was trying too hard to keep up w the lives of all her rich friends, and she was in for a reality check when she came home from a vacation to see an eviction notice on her apartment door.

so now she's right back where she started , in her hometown of denver. she's told most everyone here it's because she wants a "break", and that she'll be back to the big city soon. but she knows the truth and it angers her, to think of herself as anything close to a failure brings fire to her eyes.

but she's too proud to admit defeat, so for now, she's taken up a position teaching community theater classes with the occasional theatre role to earn a living. right now , she's still got one foot out the door , but who knows ... maybe she'll come around and find a home in denver again ?

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀

vivi has always been the type to live above her means. she's never been incredibly rich , but felt like it was something that she was just meant to be.

on one hand, it can make her come off as incredibly materialistic and at times snobby. but on the other it's made her incredibly innovative, as she's learned how to present as the best even when she feels like the absolute worst.

extremely opinionated, sometimes to a fault, it's like her filter is broken LMAO ? though it may seem like it, she's really not a mean person though. she's just a very objective speaker who knows what she wants and has no problems saying it.

and on that token , while she isn't mean , that's more so in terms of if it's unwarranted ? but if someone intentionally tries to get under her skin she has a baaad temper and does not try to hold back.

extremeeeely affectionate & loyal to those she attatches to. when you first meet her she may be v guarded, but once you get past those defenses you have a friend for life. loves physical affection & really craves it from those she's closest to. her loyalty may go a little too far, though, as she's incredibly defensive when it comes to those she loves. you may have to tell her to take it down a notch !

she has a bengal cat names cleopatra, but she's cleo for short! cleo is actually leash trained so if you see her walking about w her downtown ... yup that cat is on a leash !

instantly starts sweating the minute anyone asks her about her acting career / when she's gonna go back to ny. it's sort of a sore subject for her since she's moved within the last year !

unsurprisingly, has a wild streak. the type to drink first, ask questions later. also textbook definition of a serial dater and has more crazy stories about going out than she probably should.

but on that token, it's also made her incredibly nonjudgemental? she was a lot more sheltered and almost naive before she moved, so i would say those who knew her before would probably notice a difference in her. she may have her opinions, but they rarely are laced with judgement when it comes to other's lifestyles. she learned a lot in her time off alone & the biggest thing was not to insert herself into other peoples business without reason.

𝐖𝐂𝐒:

i lovelove plots that develop naturally , so brainstorming is always wonderful but these are some ideas to get the ideas flowing !

fellow theater friends ? vivianne's been doing theatre since she was basically in diapers , so it doesn't have to be someone who's taken up a career in it. even if they're new to it & just doing it for fun , vivianne now teaches & performs in community theatre projects too !

modeling / acting friends in general ! idk if any other muses lived in nyc for a time but it'd be great to have old coworkers !

maybe a childhood best friendship that got rocky when they graduated high school ? if we want to be messy , vi was always v verbal about her dislike for denver & kind of dropped contact w everyone for a while when she moved , so maybe it could've brought some conflict to their dynamic ?

party buddies / fwb / chaos twins / smoke buddies all of it !! she still hasn't gotten out her wild phase so would love someone who could feed into her & vice versa !

messy exes ! i love drama could we tell ?

a relatively new bff / friend group dynamic ! someone or a group that vi got a lot closer w upon her move back to denver ! i could see this playing out as equally messy or opposites attract so either way it could def work !

#chq;intro

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if-i-had-a-voice-i-would-sing · 1 year

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I haven’t had the energy to write up a full recap for the 18th Feb show, but I had a great time! The audience was a lot less unruly than my last visit, which was a relief, as that had really ruined my previous visit. In summary:

Loop 1:

Followed Artemis for the first time and I am in love with her choreography, she dances in the way that I prefer to when I choreograph, and as such she’s risen to the top of my ‘dream roles’ list. Weirdly despite being transmasc, I found this portrayal of her to be especially Gender, and now I’m considering growing my hair out just like her. Her movements are so playful yet animalistic, and the stone table dance with Apollo is simply stunning, as is her choreo in the resurrection scene. I’m also obsessed with the costuming for her and Apollo, the way the silicone bodysuits shift under different lighting, and the way they enhance every tiny movement. Artemis’ cackling atop the girders is always a standout moment for me, it gives the performers a chance to really lean into their own interpretation of Artemis’ more cruel tendencies.

Loop 2:

Followed Iphigenia/Hecate for the first time, got her 1:1 at the end of the loop. I was enamoured by the lighting & sound design used in that tiny 1:1 space, plus her performance of a text that felt veeeery familiar as someone who’s seen SNM NY (if you know, you know). Combine that with the familiar red dress, and you have a great little crossover Easter egg for fans to pick up on. Finally got to see the fabled bear ritual, and it is so much weirder and more uncanny than I’d even imagined, I was having flashbacks to Midsommar the whole time. Iphigenia’s loop was even more heartbreaking after seeing Artemis’ first, knowing the whole time that this excited, innocent girl never had a chance at happiness. Even when she’s smiling and laughing, we know that it can never last, yet all the same we hope that maybe this time it’ll turn out differently. This loop combined with Artemis’ also leave me intrigued about the oracle, and they’ve now been added to the long list of characters I need to follow.

Loop 3:

Located the bar (for the first time in all 4 of my visits!!) and chugged a LOT of water before returning to Troy, and quickly found Askalaphos, following him through the streets and back to his florist shop, arriving in time to see Hecate & Patroclus pass through. Watched as he picked up the roses and then selected someone for a 1:1, leaving me alone in the shop. I wandered over to the sake bar and found Hades leaving, so I followed him to the Troy finale (which was a blast, as always) and then found myself at the front row of the circle for the Mycenae finale. I was being offered a walkout (not sure who by, I can almost never tell performers apart when they’re sans-costume lol) when someone walking out behind me accidentally tripped me over, and by the time I’d regained my bearings the actor had chosen another WM to escort out.

All in all a wonderful trip, and as the wiki is slowly but surely becoming more helpful for researching loops, I hope that I’ll find it easier to follow some more long-admired characters. My next visit is on the 5th of March, so I’m currently trying to figure out who I want to prioritise following. I never like to have any iron-clad plans, as I feel that tends to ruin some of the fun that spontaneous discoveries can bring, but I’m definitely leaning toward wanting to see some of Kronos, so perhaps I’ll follow Polymestor & Polydorus as well, and do another show of intertwining loops. Equally though, if I run into Hades or Persephone, I can’t promise that I won’t cave and spend a whole show with them. Or maybe I’ll finally catch all of Apollo’s loop, or see more than a glimpse of Kampe! At least I have another week or so to consider my many wonderful options.

Due to there being no under 25s tickets left in April or May, I’ll soon be facing a 2 month drought until my June show, and I’m already so sad at the thought of being without this beautiful dreamland for so long 😭 I’m genuinely listing “be closer to woolwich for shows” as one of the pros to potentially moving back to London (and not even solely because I’m still dreaming that one day I could work for Punchdrunk lmao).

I don’t really know anyone who’s a fan of TBC, so if you’d like to chat about the show and your experiences/theories/recommendations on things to look out for, I’d love that! My DMs are very much open for all things theatre and mythology :)

#immersive theatre #punchdrunk #the burnt city #sleep no more

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bakuhoes-dumbass · 3 years

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Aberration - Chapter 2

MHA!Various x Fem!Reader

Thriller/Horror/Drama

Criminal!AU

Words: 1.5k

A/N: Yay, here’s the second chapter of my new AU! It’s a little shorter but I promise chapters will get longer as we go.

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Mentions of murder, blood, felonies, bullying, swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MHA, just this story. In no way does this reflect the characters, writers or VAs of the show/manga. MINORS DNI.

~~~

Aberration Masterlist

~~~

"Now, on to your next subject. Inmate 04, Eijiro Kirishima." You flip the page of your inmate profiles to see a picture of a red-haired man. "He is of a higher danger level, so make sure to keep your guard up. And for the love of God, under any circumstances…

Do not touch him."

Only slightly acknowledging his warning, you look down at your notes, eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the words on the page. "He suffers from Erotomania? Interesting…"

Aizawa nods. "Ah, yes. A very rare condition indeed, especially in males. The affected person strongly believes that another individual is in love with them. This delusion develops and persists despite clear evidence to the contrary."

"That's a very exciting find. I can't wait to meet him." Your eyes light up, quite intrigued.

Aizawa sighs and gestures with his head. "Follow me."

Kirishima's room was only a few doors down from Tokoyami's. Once again, Aizawa presses his hand to a key code and you hear the door unlock, following a buzzer. You slowly make your way into the room. It mirrors Tokoyami's down to the last detail, the only difference being a redhead was currently doing pushups.

He barely acknowledges a person stepping into his room, eyes flitting to your form and back to the ground. It takes him a moment to realize it was someone new. As soon as he does, his eyes widen and he springs onto his feet, slightly startling you.

"Oh! Hello there! You're new!"

You nod your head and smile at the red-head. "That I am. My name is Y/N and I'm the newest scientist at this facility. My role here is to get to know and observe you all to help further our findings for a cure." You choose to leave out the 'friends' part, as something about him makes you weary. You don't need anything being misinterpreted.

"Hello there, Y/N! My name is Kirishima!" He takes a step towards you but is suddenly stopped by a lower force. You look down to see his ankles chained to the heavy-duty bed frame, connected to him by quirk-canceling cuffs. You look back up to see him looking at you intensely, with a shark-toothed smile. "Man, you're really pretty!"

You swallow thickly, but keep your smile. "That's very kind of you to say, Kirishima. Now, if I may." You take a seat at the desk like you did with Tokoyami. Kirishima follows suit and sits across from you on the bed. His smile never wavers, making you slightly uneasy. You ignore it and turn to a blank page in your notebook. "Now, if you could please state your full name, age and date of birth?"

He gives you a chuckle and points to himself proudly with his thumb. "I'M Eijiro Kirishima! I'm 22 years old and my Birthday is October 16th!"

You giggle softly at his extroverted personality. "Ahh, same birth month as Tokoyami." You mumble to yourself. His ears perked up and his smile faltered slightly.

"You met Tokoyami already?"

"Hm?" You look up and smile fondly. "Ah yes, I have. He was the first one. A very nice young man."

You look back down at your notes, failing to see Kirishima's eye twitch slightly. He returns to his signature smile as you look up at him again. "And what is your quirk?"

"Oh, it's so cool! I can harden my entire body to an extreme. I can make myself a shield or a weapon! Pretty manly, am I right?" Kirishima wiggles his eyebrows at you, causing you to chuckle.

"That is definitely a unique one, Kiri." You, once again, fail to notice the way his eyes light up at the nickname, too busy looking down at your notes. "Now I see here that you've been charged with Stalking and 2 counts of second degree murder. Is that correct?"

"Yup! Although I don't understand how it would be considered 'Stalking', when she always knew I was around. She was okay with it, too! I mean, we WERE in love, you know." He furrows his brows.

You raise a brow and write down everything he says. "Care to continue explaining what happened? Why were you brought into this facility?"

Kirishima sighs and rests his chin on his hand, a dazed look on his face. "Well, you see. There was this girl. We were totally, completely head over heels for each other. You've probably heard of her, Kim Hyuna?"

Your eyebrows shoot up. Yeah, you heard of her. She is one of the biggest idols around right now, extremely pretty and extremely talented. She has millions of fans from around the world. You already can see where the direction of this story is headed.

He continues with a wide smile. "We used to go out on dates everywhere. To the mall, the salon, even to her dorms. We were so in love." His dazed expression turns sour. "Then that stupid boy shows up outta nowhere. He took her from me. He dared to take something so precious from me. So, I couldn't take it anymore and, uh, kinda killed them."

You watched him rub the back of his neck sheepishly, like the situation was no more than a mere broken dish he dropped on accident. You nod your head carefully, writing the last bit of information down. Clicking your pen, you look up and give the young man a fake smile.

"Well, that's it for today, Kirishima. I must take my leave, but I'll be back to run some tests soon."

Kirishima frowns and quickly stands up. "W-Wait, already?"

You gather up your notes and clipboard. "Yes, unfortunately. I do have some other patients I need to get to before-" as you go to stand up, your foot gets caught under the chair leg and you trip. You accidentally fall forward and into something hard. Looking up, you realized you fell against Kirishima himself, your hands splayed out against his chest.

His eyes widen, staring down at your hands against his chest, something shifting in his eyes. Before you're able to pull your hands away, his own reach up and snatch your wrists, holding them in place. A blush appears on the apples of his cheeks.

"Y-Y/N. I-I had no idea you felt the same."

Your eyes widen in fear. You attempt to tug your hands away, but his iron grip tightens into a bruising force. "Kirishima, I would advise you to kindly let go of me. Please, don't misunderstand the situation."

His grin widens, showcasing his sharp teeth. Red eyes bore into yours with a wild look. You hear the door buzz behind you and a flood of voices coming in. You feel a pair of arms reach around you and hands grip your elbows. Two pairs of hands each grab Kirishima by the arms and force him to release his grip on you. You watched two of Aizawa's assistants hold down a struggling Kirishima as you were forcibly dragged out of his room.

Once safely outside, you were spun around to meet the eyes of a fuming and worried doctor. "Are you alright, Y/N?" Aizawa's eyes travel along your body, doing a quick examination to make sure nothing was injured.

You nod your head and rotate your slightly bruised wrists. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little shaken up."

Aizawa sighs. "Didn't I say NOT to touch him? His obsession tends to solidify with physical contact."

You wince. "I know. This time it was an accident. I tripped and he just happened to, uh, be the 'wall' I fell against." You think back to the moment you fell against Kirishima. His chest felt almost rock solid, not like a normal human body would be. Now you're thinking that his quirk leaked through the cuffs and that thought scares you.

"Nobody said you were clumsy when you were hired," he sighs and runs a hand down his tired face. "There are still 9 other inmates you need to check with. And 6 out of the 9 are above Kirishima's danger level. Are you still up for it today?"

You shake out your hands and nod your head. "Yes! I am. A little scare never bothered me. This is my job."

Aizawa hummed in reply and flipped through his clipboard, stopping on a page. "Inmate 09, Keigo Takami. Mafia leader. He's a level 7 as well, but doesn't have delusions like Inmate 04 does. While he's very dangerous, he's a little more tolerable." Aizawa hesitates before continuing. "Er, minus the excessive flirting."

You sigh and flip through Keigo's information. "Oh goodie. Well, let's get this over with." You follow Aizawa to Keigo's door and once it buzzes, you enter the pristine, white room.

"Good afternoon Mr. Keigo, my name is Y/N and I'll-" You look up from your notes to see a half naked man with blonde hair and bright red bird wings lounging on his bed. Your jaw drops and you hold your clipboard up in front of your suddenly heated face.

Keigo looks over to you with his brows raised. "Well well, looks like we've got ourselves a new baby bird. How…" The handsome man's lips turn up into a cocky smirk.

"...interesting."

~~~

Taglist: @theblueslytherin @sterassion @somechick30003 @meena-in-a-nutshell @justtj-andnonumberspls @zombieonna @amajikiwife @yulifee @atexansadventureintokinkandlife @ep-ip-ha-ny @hcneymilkks @pastelmoonwitche @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @railmeddy @unlimitedfirepheonix @confaegion @drownedbytears @burntcrips @silverqueenie @the-lady-writes-what @awkward-confused @themotherofmoons @ihaveakoreanseoul @1-800-multifandomness @tragically-here @andyronii @sunnnyshark @henhouse-horrors @dabis-s-whore

(If your name is bolded, I couldn’t tag you)

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reginarubie · 2 years

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In reference to your post about Sansa restoring Winterfell. The entire scene in the Vale where she’s rebuilding her home in the snow. (I’m obsessed with it.) It’s romantic, soft, pure. But then there’s one line that I always take as a negative. “Dawn stole into her garden like a thief.” I always wonder if that hints at D@ny coming for Winterfell and the North, either destroying everything Sansa has restored or attempting to.

Here we have Barristan’s excerpt in TWoW:

“..Dawn will be on us soon.”

“A red dawn,” said Jokin of the Stormcrows.

A dragon dawn, thought Ser Barristan.

Hello!

I'm obsessed with that chapter as well, it just paints this amazing picture, and what more Sansa's own thought of a world cloaked in snow being a pure world she doesn't belong in anymore because of what she has seen and what has been done to her (beyond the mere physical meaning of it for a lady of her status) yet stepping out all the same, and rebuilding Winterfell (her House and its legacy) from ground up with snow no matter how difficult it is, is just so healing and foreshadowing both of Queen Sansa imo and of Jonsa.

Post being referenced to, this one.

Pertaining the quote you used «Dawn stole into her garden like a thief.» (Sansa VII, ASOS) I think we should see it with the few sentences that sandwiches it.

And all the while the snow kept falling, piling up in drifts around her buildings as fast as she raised them. She was patting down the pitched roof of the Great Hall when she heard a voice, and looked up to see her maid calling from her window. Was my lady well? Did she wish to break her fast? Sansa shook her head, and went back to shaping snow, adding a chimney to one end of the Great Hall, where the hearth would stand inside.

Dawn stole into her garden like a thief. The grey of the sky grew lighter still, and the trees and shrubs turned a dark green beneath their stoles of snow. A few servants came out and watched her for a time, but she paid them no mind and they soon went back inside where it was warmer. Sansa saw Lady Lysa gazing down from her balcony, wrapped up in a blue velvet robe trimmed with fox fur, but when she looked again her aunt was gone. Maester Colemon popped out of the rookery and peered down for a while, skinny and shivering but curious.

Her bridges kept falling down. There was a covered bridge between the armory and the main keep, and another that went from the fourth floor of the bell tower to the second floor of the rookery, but no matter how carefully she shaped them, they would not hold together. The third time one collapsed on her, she cursed aloud and sat back in helpless frustration.

Sansa VII, ASOS

Now this would seem to confirm your theory or feeling that that quote may be linked to Daenerys coming to Winterfell and destroying everything Sansa has fought so carefully to build back from scratch (from stone and snow, but I digress), but I actually think it's not. Let's dissect this passage to explain to you why I think this way.

The moment Sansa chooses to step out marks a circle for her, Sansa has been educated that her role as lady is that of being a mother and care for her keep and children, let her husband run the justice and their lands (kind of like she did when she tried not to antagonise too much Joffrey at the Trident and after when she is questioned by Robert and Cersei), what her journey will teach her, is to stand up and she already has started to done so (standing up to Joffrey on several occasions, even on threat of being humiliated and beaten, often for herself, but also to save others — the woman with the dead babe and ser Dontos are prime examples of her choosing to step up no matter how scary the situation or how dangerous it is for her — as well when she tells Olenna the truth, indirectly causing Joffrey's death) and now she's doing it on her own, building her home from the snow. She is to take responsibility both hands, like lord and lady alike (which circles back to her show counterpart telling Arya that listening to the lords grievances, even when they are preoccupying for the Starks, is her duty as the Lady of Winterfell) which foreshadows her role as ruling Queen imo.

Then as the snows kisses her cheeks and lips (yeah a big Jonsa foreshadowing, just like the placement of her flowering in between two Jon's chapter — the previous with Jon desperately asking himself "he was his father's son, wasn't he? wasn't he?"— Jon IV, ACOK) she starts to build a castle from the snow, which is Winterfell, the home she has lost and has not seen in years (also the very home she has been disinherited from by her older brother, not that she knows) the home she's meant to rebuild from snow.

But, as snow is the primary source to rebuild/build her castle the condition of it keep falling around her and piling up, causes her bridges to collapse on her, means in my opinion that the War for Dawn which will be fought and probably won at Winterfell will cause some destruction not only structural to the keep, but also to the metaphorical bridges Sansa might have build with other Houses of the North (like the Glovers staying in Deepwood Mot after Jon "bends" the knee), or that Jon Snow's act (because after he went undercover with the wildling I truly believe that if he ends up meeting Daenerys and pledging to her it would be a ruse to get her and the dragons North to fight the War of Dawn) will make those bridges they have rebuild by pleading House by House (as Jon suggests Stannis do) and slowly taking back the North inch by inch collapse on her, which will have her helplessly and frustrated watch as everything she's fought for and carefully built collapse (like it happened in s8), but after her bridges collapse on her, she keeps building:

"Pack the snow around a stick, Sansa."

She raised the walls of the glass gardens while Littlefinger roofed them over, and when they were done with that he helped her extend the walls and build the guardshall. When she used sticks for the covered bridges, they stood, just as he had said they would. The First Keep was simple enough, an old round drum tower, but Sansa was stymied again when it came to putting the gargoyles around the top.

Again he had the answer. "It's been snowing on your castle, my lady," he pointed out. "What do the gargoyles look like when they're covered with snow?" Sansa closed her eyes to see them in memory. "They're just white lumps."

Sansa VII, ASOS

Sansa uses LF's instructions and teachings to make the bridges stand — which foreshadows her using the lessons she has learnt South and from Littlefinger (A harp can be as dangerous as a sword, in the right hands. — Sansa VI, ASOS) to build bridges and keep rebuilding her home. And, I've added it more for my amusement than for its pertaining with your quote I hope you may forgive me, the "it's been snowing on your castle, my lady, what do the gargoyles look like when they're covered with snow?" — "just white lumps" foreshadows Sansa, in my opinion, bringing forth the demise of LF as he roofs like a giant over the glass gardens, and where are the gargoyles? (creatures very ugly but meant to protect the keep? — at least that is the connotation we give to them in Italy it may be different elsewhere so I won't digress too much on it now — which seems to be what LF is doing, protecting Sansa despite how ugly he actually is as a person and for his ugly motivations) on the roof. And with showJon giving LF the choke of death on Sansa' behalf in Winterfell' crypts? I refuse to think Jon Snow has nothing to do with it as well. But that may be just my interpretation.

Now, pertaining the Dawn stealing like a thief in her garden...hmm? Bael the Bard anyone? Like the wildling king who stole inside of Winterfell and requested the most beautiful rose of lord Stark's garden only to leave it on the bed of his daughter as he took her, made her his woman and sired a child from her? — and she must've loved him too to kill herself when their son returned with his head. — a child who would grow to be the next lord of Winterfell?

It sounds to me more about Jon and Sansa again, as Jon is heavily associated with Dawn (why by filtering the asoiaf research by Dawn and Jon's POV it comes up 47 times!, while it comes up by Dany's POV only 22 times) and its coming, he will probably end up leading the wildling (those who choose to follow him) back to Winterfell once he is returned from the dead (kind of like Bael did) and who will, most probably, take (steal the wildling way) the most beautiful rose of the garden of Winterfell (Sansa's garden, hence the "her garden") Sansa herself?, maybe siring a child from her who will be the next king/queen in the North and lord/lady of Winterfell?

I've honestly always read it that way, as another Jonsa foreshadowing though I may be wrong.

Also, a dragon dawn can be linked with Jon's true parentage too, since he is heavily linked with the coming of dawn. Though I had never actually considered Dawn stealing in her garden as a thief to be referred to Dany, so I may be wrong.

Also, the connotation of the dawn stealing in her garden like a thief isn't only linked to the wildling custom Jon has been exposed to (also notice Ygritte says she was convinced Jon would know for sure to plucker her after she recounted the story about Bael and the Stark girl) or to the fact Sansa as Alayne has been accused of being a thief of hearts. If we make a research by POV of the word thief it comes out never in Daenerys POV, yet comes out exactly 5 times by Jon POV and the other POVs it comes out less times, save for Arya in whose chapter it comes up 6 times...yet, you know how many times it comes up in Sansa's chapters?

Wanna guess?

No, I can't resist...exactly 5 times.

So I think we can rest safely that it may not be connected to Dany while more to Jon and Sansa or to Arya. Thinking a possible bookStark-blow may happen as Robb has disinherited Sansa but not Arya and a fake Arya is currently being fought for in the North, and once reunited the sisters will have to work through their grievances with one another during winter (with Jon probably stuck in the middle of their antics).

So, imo, it can either refer to Jon and Sansa (which is the theory I am inclined more toward) or to Arya, but not to Daenerys.

I feel more inclined toward the Jonsa-reading of this scene also because in Arya's chapter the word thief is usually referred to someone else, a him usually (either Lommy, or Little Narbo, or Arry — when they say that Arry has stolen Needle, though she automatically translate that on them calling Jon a thief, because Jon has been the one to give her Needle) and only once it is uttered/accused at her, in ADWD, when she is posing as the Little, Ugly girl.

I hope you enjoyed and thank you for the ask!, Hope you have an amazing day!

#ask the hag #jonsa #jonsa foreshadowing

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dontbipanicjonsa · 3 years

Text

Dutiful Sansa Stark

Plus some extra stuff about perceptions and POV traps

Read under the cut-

Tyrion

"No," Sansa said at once. "You . . . you are kind to offer, but . . . there are no devotions, my lord. No priests or songs or candles. Only trees, and silent prayer. You would be bored."

"No doubt you're right." She knows me better than I thought. "Though the sound of rustling leaves might be a pleasant change from some septon droning on about the seven aspects of grace." Tyrion waved her off. "I won't intrude. Dress warmly, my lady, the wind is brisk out there."

He was tempted to ask what she prayed for, but Sansa was so dutiful she might actually tell him, and he didn't think he wanted to know.

xxx

He wondered what Sansa would do if he leaned over and kissed her right now. Flinch away, most likely. Or be brave and suffer through it, as was her duty. She is nothing if not dutiful, this wife of mine. If he told her that he wished to have her maidenhead tonight, she would suffer that dutifully as well, and weep no more than she had to.

Littlefinger

A true daughter would not refuse her sire a kiss, so Alayne went to him and kissed him, a quick dry peck upon the cheek, and just as quickly stepped away.

"How . . . dutiful." Littlefinger smiled with his mouth, but not his eyes.

xxx

She hugged him dutifully and kissed him on the cheek. "I am sorry to intrude, Father. No one told me you had company."

"You are never an intrusion, sweetling. I was just now telling these good knights what a dutiful daughter I had."

"Dutiful and beautiful," said an elegant young knight whose thick blond mane cascaded down well past his shoulders.

That's a lot of dutiful.

On the surface it seems like these two situations- one with Tyrion and one with LF- parallel each other; creepy, older men interested in Sansa think she's too 'dutiful' because she suffers through their attentions. However, when we dig deeper it becomes clear that the two situations actually contrast in subtle ways.

Tyrion

Tyrion calls her dutiful, but what duty is she fulfilling? She actually fails to fulfil her biggest duty to him i.e. having his babies (ew).

Or rather, she refuses to do her duty to him.

"On my honor as a Lannister," the Imp said, "I will not touch you until you want me to."

It took all the courage that was in her to look in those mismatched eyes and say, "And if I never want you to, my lord?"

His mouth jerked as if she had slapped him. "Never?"

Cue me falling ever deeper in love

This is a powerful scene. Tyrion is willing to give her an inch, but she goes and takes a mile. She could have just said "yes, I'll let you know when I want you" and then never let him know, but instead she said that. His plan was to postpone the consummation, but now she’s taken the opportunity to tell him that if she had her way, they would never consummate their marriage. He can still go through with it, but with this one statement (knowingly or unknowingly) she's put the onus of choice on him. He can still touch her, he can still consummate the marriage- but Sansa will never want him to. It’s still her ‘duty’ to suffer through it, but now any future sexual contact between them is undoubtedly in the non-con category.

That doesn't sound like Sansa is just reluctant to do her duty, it sounds like she's rejecting it.

In fact, Sansa is basically never shown to think about her 'duties' as his wife. Eating lunch with him may be her 'duty', but she isn't doing it for that reason. She's doing it because what other choice does she have?

Honestly I'm not sure where he even gets the idea that she's oh-so-dutiful, because as far as I can tell, she's really just doing the bare minimum she can get away with doing as his political-prisoner-child-bride.

Sansa does not, for a single second, give a flying fuck about her duty to Tyrion and I love her for it.

And yet, Tyrion's my-dutiful-wife false belief is what allows her to get away with planning her escape. Tyrion fails to be suspicious of her even when he absolutely should be re: that first quote.

So-

Tyrion likes to think Sansa is dutiful (for some reason).

Sansa is not dutiful.

Sansa doesn't seem to be aware that Tyrion thinks she is, but it works to her advantage nevertheless.

Littlefinger

Now in Littlefinger's case she really is playing the dutiful daughter.

This time, fulfilling her 'duty' as his daughter is in her best interest, because it acts as an excuse to avoid what he really wants from her. It's basically the reverse of the Tyrion Situation.

So-

Littlefinger thinks Sansa is dutiful because she is.

She's acting dutiful on purpose (to diffuse his sexual attraction (ew) towards her).

Clearly, it's working to her advantage.

Now, onto the extra stuff-

We have this-

Dontos chuckled. "My Jonquil's a clever girl, isn't she?"

"Joffrey and his mother say I'm stupid."

"Let them. You're safer that way, sweetling.

xxx

"The g-g-godswood, my lord," she said, not daring to lie. "Praying . . . praying for my father, and . . . for the king, praying that he'd not be hurt."

"Think I'm so drunk that I'd believe that?" He let go his grip on her arm, swaying slightly as he stood, stripes of light and darkness falling across his terrible burnt face. "You look almost a woman . . . face, teats, and you're taller too, almost . . . ah, you're still a stupid little bird, aren't you?

xxx

"There's to be so much, my lord. I have a little tummy." She fiddled nervously with her hair and looked down the table to where Joffrey sat with his Tyrell queen.

Does she wish it were her in Margaery's place? Tyrion frowned. Even a child should have better sense.

Sansa goes under the radar so well in KL because people think she's too stupid to do anything. Again, we see Tyrion, an overall smart guy, fail to be suspicious of Sansa's very suspicious behavior nevermind that she IS a child you asshole because he thinks she's stupid.

So-

People think Sansa is stupid

She's not stupid. We also don't see Sansa actively encouraging that perception, which makes sense because-

she doesn't need to. They do that all by themselves and

she's too busy believing she really is stupid, poor kid

3. It works to her advantage anyway.

Which leads me to-

"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."

xxx

"Your Grace has forgotten the Lady Sansa," said Pycelle.

The queen bristled. "I most certainly have not forgotten that little she-wolf."

xxx

"The dwarf's wife did the murder with him," swore an archer in Lord Rowan's livery. "Afterward, she vanished from the hall in a puff of brimstone, and a ghostly direwolf was seen prowling the Red Keep, blood dripping from his jaws."

So-

People thinking Sansa murdered Joffrey with her witchy wolf ways.

She didn't.

???

I am SO looking forward to see where this goes.

More extra stuff-

This entire post grew out of me obsessing over this post.

It got me thinking that out of the six core characters, Sansa is the most observed one. We see her in real time through the chapters of other POV characters the most. I counted. My count can be up or down by about one or two chapters, but I have Sansa pegged at around 15 chapters, followed by Tyrion at 11, then A*ya (around 9), then Jon (around 8), then Bran (4), and then D*ny (0). This is exacerbated by the fact that Sansa has some of the least number of POV chapters of the 'core six'. This means that-

We see Sansa more (or at more than others) from other POVs than her own. In other words, we get to be in Sansa's head less and in other characters' head thinking about her more (unlike most other main characters).

This plays a BIG ROLE in her POV trap, which is pretty much the opposite of D*ny's POV trap in terms of both what it is hiding and how

Perception and reality play a very obvious and direct part in Sansa's story, both her own perceptions and others' perceptions of her.

The Vale arc changes everything though. Now suddenly-

She's surrounded by an entirely new cast of people

She's the only POV character in the location

She has an entirely new identity with none of the same pre-conceived biases attached (though there sure are other pre-conceived biases that go with her identity)

This has happened with other characters as well (Tyrion in ADWD, Arya in every other book), but the impact it has on our perception of her is unique. It's basically reversing everything her POV trap was previously built on.

Now, she is her own worst critic. Now, the thoughts that other POV characters have of her (Tyrion, Cersei) are increasingly muddled. Is she a murderous sorcerer, or a stupid little girl? Was she dutiful, or a scheming traitor? The correct answer is-

she was none of those things. Everyone is just....trapped by their own PoV?

#sansa stark #meta #anti sanrion #anti littlefinger

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lizacstuff · 3 years

Note

Can’t wait to read you thoughts on this episode. Eda and Serkan are getting engaged! ngl seeing the rings did something to me, I haven’t recovered yet.

I KNOW!!!!! I missed the rings so much. When folks were upset during the filming of 20 when it became apparent he wasn't wearing the ring anymore, I remember saying that they have to take them off so they can put them back on for real, and it will be oh so sweet when they do. Flashforward six weeks and YES!!!! Just seeing those rings again is sweet we're going to die when they actually slip them on during the next episode. I'm not attached to any of my own jewelry the way I'm attached to their rings, lmao.

As a whole this episode was very enjoyable for me. The new writers clearly realized they needed a mood change after episode 25, and I was thrilled to see the show return to its roots. The tone felt more like the first batch of episodes than any in recent memory. What a relief. Also I've said prior to this that I suspected that where we would feel Ayse's absence was in the humor and lack of sparkle. Well I thought this episode had plenty of both, so I stand corrected. The first Edser scene with Serkan gliding by Eda without saying a word and then having his trusty sidekick Leyla keep an eye on what they were doing outside set the light comedic tone and put everything on the right footing from the get go.

More later on Edser, let's start with all the nonsense they use to fill the rest of the 2+ hours.

(continue under the read more)

What in the frack is Babaanne's endgame? Does she have one? Is it to take revenge on Serkan? To get Eda back in her orbit? Or just to cause chaos? Or is she testing them? Not sure.

I enjoyed the scene between mom and son, Aydan and Serkan's relationship has really become one of the best on the show, certainly better than recent Eda/Ayfer. Which is interesting, because in the pilot they established that while Serkan may be rich with material things, he was lacking in love and emotional familial support, while Eda was poor in regards to material things, but was surrounded by love in the form of her family/friends. Though perhaps one of the greatest gifts Eda's given Serkan is an improved relationship with his mother, and the impetus to distance himself from his unloving father. While Serkan has inspired her growing independence from her aunt.

Speaking of them, let's move on to Aydan and Ayfer. PLEASE MADE THIS CHEF NONSENSE END! Good grief. I really don't enjoy watching these two ladies making total asses of themselves over this douche. Both of them trying to catch him on his jog and then going along with his aikido nonsense. It feels like he's just playing with them for his own amusement. Both deserve better and I don't even like Ayfer. Also if my boss gave me a single red rose for being employee of the month, I'd find that both creepy and hella disappointing (crash prizes please.)

Meanwhile Ayfer is still testing my last nerve. When Aydan and Seyfi show up and inform her that they've found out that Serkan and Eda broke up and she responds with, "Were they even together to break up?" I wanted to slap her upside the head. Whatever official relationship status Eda and Serkan have, they have been connected and in a romantic relationship this entire time. The bit of time jump at the start of 15 before she goes back to work for Efe, is really the only section of time since they've met where they weren't in a relationship. And while Eda isn't all that forthcoming with Ayfer when it comes to Serkan, she hasn't really hidden it well. It was at Ayfer's birthday when they were on the ice together being very romantic, Ayfer was at Aydan's 70s party and could very well see Eda and Serkan attached at the hip all night and wound around one another intimately slow dancing, Ayfer knows Eda spent the night at Serkan's when she left because of Babaanne, Ayfer was at the NY party and saw them together there. Not to mention Ayfer knows Serkan saved her business and why, she knows Serkan was still wearing his ring, and she knows Eda looked completely shattered over leaving Serkan as Ayfer heartlessly reacted with glee in the last episode.

So asking "were they even together" just completely diminishes what Eda is currently going through, as if parting with him is no big deal because there was nothing there to begin with, when she knows better. When she's seen it with her own two eyes. Seriously.. fuck her. Every other character who is a friend of Eda and Serkan all know that they're a unit. I don't even feel bad that she came to ArtLife to beg for Eda's company, but Eda ended up blowing her off. Surprising Serkan with a proposal was a much better use of her time.

Engin and Piril, yeeesh, I feel for Piril, trying to put off this meeting. I'm sure she's thinking it's for Engin's own good, but her flipping into total bitch mode when they're newlyweds... not great. Not an auspicious start to the marriage. Even if she wants to keep Engin away from her father, she ought to confide in Engin and tell him why she's freaked. I'm assuming we'll get more of that in the next episode since Engin is looking rough in those promo stills.

My favorite side plot was probably Grandog's henchman's (what is his name?) crush on Melo. Melo deserves to be crushed on, and I love that she is so uninterested that she doesn't see it. Much more fun to have him chasing her, and her being oblivious. Poor Leyla, trying in vain to get his attention when he only has eyes for Melo. Enjoyed that Melo and Leyla made the agreement that Melo would help Leyla get the dude and Leyla would help get rid of Erdem. I'm looking forward to see where this goes.

Ceren and Ferit... were there too.

Now onto the A story (and let's be real the only one that matters) Eda and Serkan. Obviously 25 left us off in a very sad, heartbroken place. I'm not sure what decisions were made, when or why, but at some point TPTB decided they needed to get back to their roots and thank goodness. Episode 25 was just so dark, Eda was miserable the entire episode, as was Serkan, and that's not fun to watch for 2 hours. The way they handled them here is much better.

I know some feel the tone shift was too much. To that I would say, it was so dark in ep 25, I'm happy to do a 180, no matter the reason, to get back to a place where watching is fun, and also I think of the breakup as Eda throwing the breaks on a runaway train and once she did, and she was sure the train was stopped at least for the time being, then she could take a moment, reassess the situation and potentially decide it wasn’t as dire as she thought. In the last episode, every moment Eda delayed giving that old bitty what she wanted, something catastrophic befell Serkan, his business, or his family. The pressure mounted, the stakes were high and in the end she had to do whatever was necessary to stop Babaanne's assault on Serkan.

This episode we saw her catch her breath and then formulate a plan. I think a tone shift fits with that. Of course she feels lighter knowing that even though she hurt Serkan, he's protected for the moment. Now that that's taken care of, she's ready for next steps. So it works that the next morning we see her telling Melo and Ceren that she's not going to give up Serkan, and outlining her plan around getting close to Babaanne in order to get something on her. Good girl!

As I said above, I just adored that first scene outside ArtLife. The girls gathered around, trying to warn Eda that Serkan was coming, and then his walk by where he KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING when he got right up in Eda's business without even looking at her. He knows what makes her weak in the knees. And I love that Serkan decided to play it like this. HE KNOWS. He knows she loves him, he knows there's more to the breakup, and he knows how to deal with it. Drive her crazy until she cracks and tells him everything. OR drive her crazy until they end in a passionate, possessive sex explosion. One or the other.

Quick poll, who didn't love watching Serkan take back the reigns of his company? This gal did. YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS. Alpha Serkan is back. Kick the old bag's throne to the curb. Kick the old bag's creepy client to the curb. Now we just have to kick the old bag and her deranged, obsessed sidekick to the curb as well. But for now, I loved seeing him at the end of the table, making decisions, not brooking opposition. The team squabbling over his decision, but he just sits back, unbothered. Total power move. I appreciate Ferit questioning the decision, questioning it is the right thing to do in his position, but he may have gotten a little too pissy about it. Dude, this entire company IS Serkan. The success of the company is due to his talent, his vision, his business acumen. I get they're all worried he's making a decision because of Eda, but he's got a proven track record of, you know, being right, so there's no reason to get shirty. If Serkan doesn't want to work with someone, his instinct is probably on target.

Eda getting Babaanne to stand down warmed me from the inside out. I find it interesting that she used the argument that they were pushing him too hard and he didn't deserve it, and Babaanne bought it. For one I think Eda was worried Serkan was going to snap and do something that might start Babs' Bolat revenge cycle again. For two, she just wants the love of her life to win and be calm. However, if anyone in that room didn't catch onto what happened there, that Eda and BigB leave and then come back a minute later and BigB has done a 180, I question their competence. *cough* Ferit *cough* He's just not the sharpest tool in the shed. However, obviously, Serkan knew.

On another note, they've gotten pretty murky with the line between ArtLife and the holding. Babaanne has 45% of the Holding, not ArtLife. Ferit has 5% of the holding, not ArtLife. So which company was working with the Prince? Since it was a project to design a house, seems like that should be ArtLife? But Babs and Ferit seemed to think they had a vote which they shouldn't if it's ArtLife. Who knows... whatever.

Have you ever seen anything cuter than Eda in her coat and boots and protective helmet, leaning over, clutching her chest, exhausted after climbing all those stairs? I mean she's an adorable bean just bent over and huffing and puffing, but the fact that she just climbed up goodness knows how many flights of stairs (judging by that view, an impossible number, but we'll allow it) just to see Serkan? We giggle at her excuse that she did that because he gave her too much work. Eda, he's not going to buy that, luckily none of us want him to buy it. These two, they can't stay away from each other. Ever. She was also probably worried after the foreman told her he'd been up there for hours. Again, I think she's concerned that she's pushed him too far. So now she's in Serkan's shoes after the first breakup. Navigating that push pull of wanting to be with him, but sticking to the decision to end it for his sake.

It's nice to see that her claustrophobia was not "cured" after going up in the elevator with Serkan one-time. On her own, she's still not able to face it. I'm sure she could do it again with him, but there's more work to be done before she can face it without him.

Serkan was surprisingly vulnerable in both his conversation with Engin and with Eda on the top of that skyscraper. Even just telling Engin he was too out of sorts to join him for lunch, tells us that while he knows what he's doing, he knows there's more to the story, but he's still hurting and unsettled after the breakup. Then, "I create to make people happy, but I myself can't be happy. It's strange." Oh Serkan. I think you ripped my heart out with that... Eda's too.

Eda was so discombobulated by Serkan's attitude. Whatever she expected from him, his acceptance of the break up, wasn't it. His proposal that they be "friends" threw her and she looked so distressed when he said, "Everyone will live their own life." Alarm bells started going off for her, much as they did for him at the top of ep 19 when Eda said she was going to start living her life. She did NOT like the idea of Serkan Bolat out there living a life that didn't include her, lmao.

It's crazy to me that Eda has a friend like Fifi, who probably breaks and enters for a living, and yet she chooses Melo for a clandestine operation. Come on, Eda, you got to choose the right person for the job, lmao. I also question Eda's choice of cat burglar wardrobe. Seemed a bit... restricting and flashy. Though her skin-tight, snakeskin breaking-and-entering dress and fashionable trespassing boots did make it easier to transition to fine dining and driving your man towards rambunctious breakup/makeup/jealousy sex. Not much to say about the restaurant scenes. The prince is creepy af, and was that the most awkward dance.... ever? The looks back and forth between Edser were excellent, so much tension and longing and jealousy. But boy is it hard to watch a scene with Balca in it, ugh she makes my skin crawl and I don’t even like looking at her. Also the deliberate way the actress has chosen to speak is irritating. Anyway, we now know Balca is pretty much capable of anything, if she’s capable of essentially poisoning the man she thinks she loves. Yikes. Did Nana realize that Balca poisoned him? I have to believe she did, because him being sick seemed part of the plan. THEY'RE ALL FULL EVIL!!! .

One thing I don't believe is that Eda Yildiz would ever walk out of that restaurant with Serkan looking that bad. No way she leaves him to Balca's care, or anyone else's for that matter. Nope, regardless of who was watching she would have insisted on taking him to the doctor herself. But I get they were setting up the plot, so they sacrificed that bit.

These villains are really bad at driving a wedge between two people who love each other. AngryGran is all like, "I know a foolproof plan, let's put them in the same room and get 'em all riled up with jealousy, then make Serkan sick so Eda's worried, then I'll convince her to go check on him and let's see what happens!" LMAO. Cheers to you, dumbasses, you brought us a whole heaping plate full of S.E.X. They were really banking that Eda was going to fly off the handle and think that Serkan went from an allergic reaction to sexing up the new obsessed employee very quickly. It's great that they all underestimate Eda and Serkan's relationship and connection, that should continue to help Edser as long as these fools continue to meddle.

Eda was, wait for it, LEGENDARY, in her smackdown of Balca. QUEEEEEEEN. I'll never be over the, "You can only be with a statue of Serkan, darling." BWAHAHAHAHA. Yes! Throw her creepy, inappropriate present back in her face. And Balca's gall asking Eda to leave and then continually lecture Eda that they'd broken up. That takes either big cajones or huge helpings of delusion, because Balca has very little information when it comes to their relationship, yet she's playing her hand like she knows it all and like she doesn't care what gets back to Serkan. However, got to hand it to Balca for keeping her composure once Eda saw through her little staged production, because her story was painfully weak. Let's say for real that you're at your boss's house, the boss is sick so you're hanging around downstairs by yourself just to make sure everything is okay. What's the problem with just... you know... wearing your outfit with a coffee stain? Unless you had a massive big gulp sized coffee and poured it over your head, why even change? Don't you just... live with the stain? It's not like you're making a presentation to the board of directors in 5 minutes. For the love of god you're sitting there and no one else is around. Weak alibi.

Poor Serkan, he's just there trying to sleep off having his allergies maliciously triggered, and he completely misses out on the love of his life fighting for him downstairs. Oh how he would have loved to see that. But oh what a way to wake up, with Eda Yildiz standing over him, looking magnificent, and rousing him with a scolding tone. I've already talked about how HOT the jealousy and possessiveness was here, so I'll focus on the scene itself.

Let’s talk about the fragman first. Due to the short production timeline of this show, when they create a trailer they're doing it from the dailies, not from the show itself. That part of the show usually hasn't even been edited yet so the fragman exists before the episode. That means often there are scenes or angles that appear in the fragman, but not in the episode. It happened bigtime with the shower scene in 19, it happened randomly with the fragman for 20, they showed that really great shot of heartbroken Serkan in red, but didn't show the full thing in the episode, (when giffing it I had to use the fragman) and here, several of the best shots of Eda and Serkan ripping each other's clothes off were in the fragman and didn't make the episode. We can live with it for a lonely Serkan shot, but it's quite a bait and switch in this instance. Especially when pretty much every member of the cast (except Hande, Kerem didn't post anything either, but he did appear in that IGlive where the cast mercilessly teased him about it) promoted the scene. Not cool. I realize that they're dealing with sensors and may have had to cut things in order to avoid fines and such, but then they probably should have found a way to release the uncut scene on the internet as I've read other Turkish shows have done and like they did with episode 13. If you're gonna put something like this in the fragman to entice viewers, and have the cast promote it, you need to be willing to deliver. Badly done on the part of both Fox and MF Yapim.

That being said, one of the great things about the tighter restrictions this show has to adhere to, is they really show the intimacy instead. On an American show, these characters would have started eating each other's faces off and then tumbled into bed. There is something very hot, though, about them just invading each other's space, breathing each other's scent, nose to nose, nose to neck, nose to cheek... without breaching. Plus we got to see him carry her to the bed... even if they darkened it to the point you can barely see. I saw enough. HOT. The scene was short, but more tantalizing than lots of love scenes I've seen.

I was sad she left while he still slept in the morning. For him not to feel her get out of bed, she must have worn him out! It really would have been nice to see them wake up together, but I'm sure that will come. Plus it gave us the tension filled scene in the office. The knocked over lamp in the background was a delicious detail. Things got rambunctious! I'm glad Eda got to return the sentiment that only she can touch him, if only Serkan had heard it! Another thing that would have made him so happy if only he knew about it.

Melo is all of us upon learning about their night of passion. She's a whole cheerleader for them, and I love it.

The post-sex scenes at the office were amazing. For several seconds I thought that he really did think it was a dream. Panic started to set in until she admitted she'd had it too. Phew. No hiding for Eda. I'm glad he flirted, instead of getting offended, and that she was at least honest about there being something she needed to do before they could really be together. Eda also handled the office conversation with Balca well. Love that she didn't show any reaction to her claim about Paris, just wished her a good trip. I felt that deep breath she took before going into his office. Yes, girl, calm down before you march in and accuse him of something, good thing he immediately invited her. I just about melted at, "I don't want to argue... you're precious to me." Serkan is gradually learning how to head off her fits of pique.

The proposal... I... just... okay... my heart... I need a minute... still not over it.

It was perfect. She made a surprise for him!!!! After he asked her for a surprise a few episodes ago she did it and surpassed even his wildest dreams. It was quite a surprise for us too! Thank you for not spoiling it, show! Serkan has told Eda he loves her about 3 dozen different ways, he's made it clear how he feels and what he wants ("Eda Bolat, sounds nice."). There is no doubt that he was ready to propose the moment he felt she'd be receptive, so it was wonderful that she threw caution to the wind and did it. Both Serkan and the audience needed to see exactly how much she loves him, and this was a wonderful way to do that. It's pretty much the biggest thing she could have done. Also for those of us in other parts of the world (I'm in the US) it might not be too out of the ordinary for a woman to propose, but from what I understand it's rare and possibly non-existent on Turkish shows. That's pretty cool.

Did you see his face!?!? He was so happy at first when he registered that she was actually standing in front of him and then just totally gobsmacked when he saw the rings and realized what was happening. As for Eda, she was just glowing. GLOWING. And don't even get me started on the plane. That trip on the day after they met is such an important part of their love story and the call back here is wonderful. The first time around he thought she was there for him, this time he can't believe that she's there for him.

Can't wait to see the way the full conversation/proposal plays out, do ya'll think he'll say yes? (hee)

#Sen Çal Kapımı #sen cal kapimi #edser #sck 1x26 #sck episode thoughts #sckask #edser discussion #sck discussion #edser meta #asklizac #Anonymous

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blacksunscorpio · 4 years

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Hi Scorp! I just have to tell you I've been on this site for a while and I'm so glad to come across someone's page that breaks astrology down so succinctly and in a fun and personal way. I wish more people we like you- you're a gem! I'd like to get started too and want to know in your opinion what the signs of a good astrologer are and how one can become one? Your help is as always so appreciated! I really admire you!

Thank you, love- Good Question

Signs of A Good Astrologer

1. They Understand Multiple Systems

Now, not every astrologer will use them. Some are more comfortable with Vedic, others Placidus, some Quadrant or Draconic and a few Horary or Equal House. Regardless, they’ll be able to entertain all kinds even if they subscribe to another/one in particular.

2. They Can Read A Natal Wheel

I know this may sound like a given but some folks who get into astrology just use a calculator or generator to pull up aspects and chart patterns. They won’t actually look at the wheel and see where planets land or how to work their way around the circle. They may not understand the red lines from the green or blue. It’s important to not only rely on a calculator but understand the wheel as a blueprint. You can catch many things and see many aspect patters [T-Squares, Grand Trines Yods, etc] with the naked eye. The natal wheel is the birth chart in its raw form. Anyone studying anything must begin with the basics. The wheel, fresh-faced is the best place to start. From there, the 101′s of Astrology become easier to grasp

3. They Do Not Rely On One App Alone

The sign of any good astrologer [or anyone studying anything] is citing multiple sources and cross-referencing them. As we all know, technology, though an excellent modern tool is imperfect. It too can have glitches and miscalculations. For that reason, it’s important as an astrologer to at least have 2 to 3 calculators [including their own brain and hands] to break things down. This gives a better-rounded view of how charts work and can even introduce you to aspects you didn’t realize existed [parallels, contraparallels, etc]. Cafe Astrology is good for beginners but does not show you minor aspects [Quincunxes, sesquiquadrates, noviles or bi-quintiles] or chart patters like Astro.com does. Co-Star is good for millennials who are just starting and does a fantastic job of giving you a daily horoscope as well, but can really f-things up house-wise. [They are based out of NY and I rejected a job offer from them because of it.] Alabe.com is Ok but they make you input longitude and latitude which not everyone has access to and sometimes it just won’t take. Still, without cross-referencing you’d never know. Cast your net wide so you can get the best return.

4. They Understand Natal, Synastry, and Composite

While it’s important to understand how someone’s natal chart functions and relates to them as a person, or placements in general, we as Human Beings are social creatures. We operate in tribal, familial and unit systems. As a result, it’s important to know how people operate with each other as well as individually. A good astrologer will understand Synastry [aspects/energy between people] and Composite [midpoint and Davison, which is the Astrology of the relationship itself] in addition to Natal patterns.

5. They Have a Good Grasp of History

Mercury, Mars, Rahu, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto? All names of Ancient God’s. When we understand the origins of these Planetary names, we can have a good grasp as to why they’re attributed to said planets/points. Modern planets are named after Roman Gods who all have ties to ancient Greece/India as well. When you understand the myths and stories you’ll already have a head start on why Venus is named after Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, since Venus rules love and what we appreciate. Mars [Aries] is the planet of war, sexual drive and action as is the Hellenistic/Roman God. Lilith is Adam’s first wife in Hebrew tradition and her hypothetical point in astrology embodies her traits. Make sense? Even the asteroids are named after minor gods and characters in the classics. Studying up on these can really help with understanding the planets as a whole.

6. They are Patient

Let’s face it, understanding astrology is not something that comes over night. It is also quite difficult to find in-depth classes for the study. Because of this, it is important for you or any astrologer for that matter to take their time. Don’t rush. Some can spend a lifetime studying and never know all there is to know. I myself learn new things everyday that I share with you all on here. Take your time. Be patient. Astrology is deeply metaphorical, philosophical as well as mathematical. Some may have a stronger grasp with one than another [as a former humanities major, I personally detest math but I’ll be damned if that makes me give up- I keep trying]. A good astrologer will give themselves and others grace to really grasp the concepts they are learning and know that it is not a 24 our crash course.

Red Flags

With the good comes the bad/things many can work on to improve. The sign of an astrologer not living up to their full potential are:

1. Astrologers That Only Say Good Things About Your Sign

Let’s face it, astrology is not a study for those who like to sugar coat. The reality of life is that everything has a dark and light side. Just like every zodiac sign has positive and shadow traits. [Though I am a Scorpio and very loyal to my sign and people, I feel it necessary if I am to help others, to make them understand the under-developed traits of Plutonians/Martians in general.] You gotta keep it real. It is important to be honest. That is the only way to get to your sign’s final form. To understand what traits you/your sister signs/cousins are prone to.

2. Astrologers That Point Out Troublesome Placements Without Telling You How to Remedy Them

Big No-No. Astrology is about activism and altruism. It, by nature, is a study quite akin to Psychology. One of my heroes, Liz Greene actually based many of her astrological studies off Jungian psychology. And what is astrology if not psychology with a cosmic twist? ;). A good therapist will isolate your issues but the point in hiring them is for them to aid you in fixing the issues you’re struggling with, no? Same with a good astrologer. They’ll tell you when something is an issue, yes, but they will also give tips and pointers on how to handle the energy or steps to reconciling the energy within your self and others. If someone is simply pointing out that you’re a Capricorn with a Taurus moon and therefore, have pessimistic tendencies, but don’t tell you how to balance that, then they are not doing the best job they can for you.

3. Astrologers That Demonize a Single Sign or Placement

Or astrologers who are inherently judgmental about your tendencies [many Boomers unfortunately I’ve seen have a habit with this *sigh*]. This is also a No-No. Look, we are all entitled to our own opinion and there is dark and light in each astrological placement. But someone who says “all Pisceans are whiny-crybabies”, “all Virgos are obsessive compulsive critics” or “All Leos are egotistical cheaters” is not someone you want to take very seriously, lol. Sounds like these people got hurt by one of the above and as a result, have a war on everyone with these placements. By proxy, they use astrology to let out their frustrations which is a very twisted way to go about things. We all vibe with one sign or placement more than another of course, but even your fav may have a Mars placement in a sign you though you hated. It is best to be impartial and look at ALL aspects and ALL signs with fairness. The point of astrology is to understand. Once you understand someone or something it’s quite hard to be judgmental [if you’re really going about it with an open-mind]. Just like traveling or spending time with others different from you makes it impossible to be a racist or a bigot. Why? Because you took the time to really connect.

Anyone can become an astrologer with the right discipline and a good amount of grit and curiosity. I think you have the right attitude on how to go about it ;). Here are a few helpful resources to get you started:

1. Spark Notes on Astrology 101

2. Natal Chart Simplified.

3. Decans in Astrology

4. Which Decan Do You Belong To?

5. How to Find Your Dominant Planet

6. Difference Between Your Chart Ruler and Dominant Planet

7. How I learned Astrology

8. My Astro Musings

#Astrology 101 #anon #astro asks #Signs of a good Astrologer #astro Tumblr #astrology asks #Astrology advice #Bruja Tips #astrology how-to's #witchblr

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minaofmayhem · 4 years

Text

DRABBLE #13 - The Library

I’m happy to post the first Drabble requested by @merlinsluxuriousloungewear! 😀 I really liked writing it with our fluffy Alexander ❤️ I hope you’ll like it ! Thanks for having proposed this idea! 😘

Let me know if you want to be tagged for the next ones 😀

Summary : Reading is your favorite hobby. You are doing your thesis in English Literature at Columbia University in NY. You spend all your time at the national library and there you meet a very interesting Swedish guy...

Pairing : Alexander Skarsgård x Reader

Warnings : None just fluff everywhere ! ❤️

“Ah...There you are Byron”, you say to yourself as taking the book from the shelve. You were searching for that damned book for 5 minutes now because someone had misplaced it. Going back to your desk, you mentally curse those who did this. How can it be possible to not respect the rules ? "We are in a library, for god sake". You sit down on your chair, in front of the place where all your stuffs were, and sigh. The book you were carrying finds a place next to the others in a muffle sound.

You were actually working on a big project that you have to give back in two weeks for a final exam. The subject is “The English literature within the ages”. This is a real complex subject and you don’t have time to waste. You quickly take the books you need to complete your references in front of you, open them at the right pages and put your headphones on to lock yourself into your favorite workspace. You absolutely love working at the library but most of all with your favorite music into your ears. Well the library was quite quiet but you were always distracted. Sometimes because of a new incomer who just ask a bit too loud some informations at the desk or other times by distracted people who make fall their stuffs on the ground. It’s exasperating you but you can’t do anything against that. You love so much being here that you tolerate such things with your music on.

Ten minutes later, you raise up your head from your book to choose an other one when your heart make a jump into your chest. At the main entrance, you recognize the guy that comes almost everyday since a week now. Well he’s quite noticeable cause he’s really tall, like he could take a look above the shelves! But what aroused more your curiosity was the fact that he looks absolutely gorgeous. It is not because some people consider you as a bookworm that you are completely out of reality. You watch guys like any other girl and had some boyfriends too. You can have feelings for beautiful men but this one is really special. It’s the first time that someone catch your attention like this.

As usual, he takes his wallet from his back pocket to bring out his member card. He shows it to the secretary at the entry and comes inside the library. As discreetly as possible, you follow him with your eyes. He really have a smooth walk for someone so tall. You notice that he is carrying a little notebook and a pen. He poses them on a desk just a few meter from you. Sometimes, you just pretend to check some things on your computer ; you really became an expert in spying these past few days. It’s incredible how fast you can develop some tricks to not be caught. After placing his stuffs, he takes a little piece of paper, probably with some references on it, and goes directly into the shelves.

You breath when he’s out of sight. “My god what are you doing (X/Y)”, you mentally say to you to get yourself up. This is really impolite to spy people. You know it and yet you can’t prevent yourself from doing it. This guy literally become an obsession, this is crazy. Since the first time you noticed him, you can't stop searching for him at the library. You noted that he was there every day in the afternoon. Sometimes, you were even checking your watch more than usual just to be sure that he will be here soon. You started to pay more attention to your appearance, wearing nice clothes, hoping for something. Maybe just a glance.

Five minutes later, he comes back at his desk with three little books and sits. Behind your computer, you give some discreet glances in his direction until you finally get caught. He raises his head and his look directly goes straight in your direction. Immediately, the fire rises at your cheeks and you pretend to search for something into an other book. Your movements become a bit untidy and your hands are nearly shaking. You feel really stupid at that moment.

Did he notice your insistent glances ? Or was he just looking accidentally in your direction ? You really pray for the second option otherwise he'll really think you are a crazy girl or something like that. Now, because of that, you can't look at him anymore during the day or it will be very suspect.

You go back to your work, a bit frustrated but that’s part of the game. Too bad but it’s like that. “What were you expecting after all?”. You close a bit sharply the Byron’s book and go to search some others. Now it’s time to talk about Shakespeare. You do a quick search for references on the net, write them on a piece of paper before going to the right shelf. After a little walk, you find the “English Theatre” shelf, settled on a isolated side of the library. with no desks or sofas to sit around. You go into the shelf and search among the books. You eyes looking quickly at the references and your note at the same time. After some seconds of searching, you finally find the first book you need.

“Oh no...”, you whisper as you notice that the books is situated at the last level of the shelf and of course, you are too short. Classic. You take a look around but there’s no sign of a stool that could help you. You sigh and search for an other solution. Impossible to ask at the help desk because you don’t have time to waste. Plus you know well the secretary and she’s quite slow when it comes to take decisions.

“Ok then. If I really have to...”. You put your hands on the shelf, checking the strength. You are really thin and these are really old shelves made with strong woods. You won’t fall and it won't broke. At least, you hope so. When you feel that you have enough support with your hands, you put your two feet at the base of the shelf. Then you slowly climb, level after level. Luckily you had put a pants today. You don’t want to imagine what it would look like with a skirt...

At the second level, you try to raise your hand to grab the book but you are stil to short. You could just reach the start of the last shelf.

“Damn...”, you whisper, out of breath. It’s quite hard to stay in balance in this position with your right hand up. You rise up a little bit and raise your hand again, a bit higher.

“C’mon (X/Y), just a little more...”. You were just about to reach it when you suddenly feel that you were losing balance. Like in a movie, it was like the time just slow down as you were falling down. You close your eyes, knowing that you don’t have the possibility to grab something to hold you back, except books but it won’t really help you. You just wait for your fall until...

“Wow...are you alright miss ?”.

You don’t fall on the ground, like expected, but into arms. You open your eyes and discover that you were just lying into the arms of the perfect stranger you were stalking. You open your mouth to say something but for a moment, no sounds come. You feel really stupid, even more than when you get caught.

“Oh...Hum...Yes...” you manage to say, being shocked by what happened and embarrassed at the same time. He looks at you with a smile, apparently amused by the situation. It’s the first time that you see his face so close and you aren’t really disappointed. He really have a beautiful face, with delicate features and fascinating eyes. You feel the red coming again at your cheeks. Gently, he drops forward to let you feel the ground again. Your right hand lean on his shoulder as you go down.

“May I ask you what were you doing on that shelf ?”, he asks with a hint of humor. His voice his really cool and you notice a little accent but from where ?

“Well...I just wanted to take that book”, you answer as showing him the little Shakespeare book that moved a little bit from his place. You then realized that you endangered and made a fool of yourself for just a stupid book. The guy lets out a smooth laugh and just takes it easily to give it to you. Being that tall can really be useful!

“Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet. Good choice”, he reads the title on the cover. You grab it and thank him with a shy smile. You feel the red coming back again and you try to calm yourself.

“You had chosen a good one too”, you declare as showing him the “Othello” he was carrying. He looks at it and smile. God, he’s so delicious when he’s smiling.

“Oh yeah”, he answers as showing it. “I was doing some searches for a role I’m going to play soon. Some kind of a medieval tragedy, you know”. So that’s why he was spending time at the library...He was maybe an artist. You feel surprised by the fact that he is easily talking to you, like if you knew each other for a long time. But you really enjoy his company and you don't want this little chat to end.

“Then maybe I can advise....” you say as searching for “Macbeth” among the books in the shelf. Of course, this one was at your level so you quickly take it to take him. “It will help you more for medieval tragedy”.

“Wow, are you a Shakespeare’s expert or something?”.

“Not really”, you laugh a little, “I’m learning English literature so Shakespeare is of course in the program”. He whistle, impressed apparently but it make you feel a bit embarrassed.

“Well...Since Shakespeare has no secret for you...Would you like to take a coffee or something with me? You could share me all your advices ?”. He proposes that after coming a bit closer. You look at him, in disbelief. 30 mins ago you were just stalking him behind your computer and now he was proposing to take a coffee ? That was really an unexpected day. You couldn’t missed this opportunity.

“I’d love too. After all, I owe you a coffee, you just saved my life”, you answer with a little smile, placing a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“You’re right. I’m Alexander” he says as showing you his hand with a big smile.

“(X/Y). Nice to meet you”.

#alexander skarsgård #alexander skarsgard #alex skarsgard #alexander skarsgard imagine #drabble #the library #requests done #alexander skarsgard x reader #alexander skarsgård x reader

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ronjohnnsurfshop · 3 years

Text

Conan

Outside of family or friends, Conan O’Brien may be the most important person in my life. For me the great Conan awakening happened around the 6th grade way back in the year 2004. At a time most kids were going crazy over things like the newly released American Idiot album, reality shows on MTV, skateboarding, and football players I was obsessed with a 6 foot 4 pale talk show host with red hair who’s show was too late for me to stay up for but ran in syndication every afternoon on Comedy Central. Conan (along Comedy Central reruns of SNL) was my great introduction into what the world could be when you injected comedy into it.

Growing up I had very few friends. I have had one best friend, Graham, since the 3rd grade but other than him, I didn’t really make any other GOOD friends until I got to high school and beyond. That, combined with going to a different school than my best friend, made for my preteen years to be somewhat of a living hell outside of the house. This is around the time I discovered Late Night. I can’t really remember my first time watching Conan but I do remember my obsession with the show and the man as a whole.

My preteen years, like most kids, were a very awkward time. I had just started at the Catholic School that my parents switched me to, I was away from my best friend, and I knew absolutely no one. I made friends alright but none of them really lasted and I had to endure, not terrible, but some light to moderate bullying through my catholic school years. Around that time I was growing out of Nickelodeon and my attentions were turning to the likes of Comedy Central. It was there that I discovered the pale, red headed giant named Conan. For the first time I was experiencing grown up bits like the Masturbating Bear, Celebrity Survey, and Minty the Candy Cane. It was incredible. It was so dumb yet so funny and smart. I never knew comedy could be like this. I would come home from school and sit my ass in front of the television every day to experience the best form of escapism I had ever known.

I think the most important thing I learned from Conan was the art of self deprecating humor. As kind hearted as Conan seemed, throughout his years as a comedian he could also be a great insult comic, up there with the greats like Don Rickles, but there was no one he was more insulting to than himself. This opened up a new world for a lonely, pudgy, budding comedy nerd like myself. Now when the kids picked on me in school I would join in. Not only did it disarm the bullies when their target was beating them to the punch with his jokes but it also led to laughs from other people. From there I knew all I wanted to do was make people laugh. Conan taught me that you could make fun and degrade yourself without disrespecting yourself and everything changed. With these newfound skills, I went from the quiet kid with no friends to, I don’t want to brag, but the funniest 7th grader at the, now defunct, All Saints Catholic Academy. It eventually became like a drug. All I wanted when I walked through those doors was to feel the high of an entire class of my peers laughing hysterically at something I said or did and I carried that mindset over into High School.

Once I got to high school and convinced my parents to send me back to public school, it took some time to warm up to the new people around me but soon I was right back at it. I spent my days trying (and just as often failing) to make everyone around me laugh as hard as they could. I wanted to embody the spirit of Conan and his humor and, in some ways, I wanted to literally be a 16 year old Conan O’Brien. And the Conan O’Brien masterclass in comedy certainly paid off. I know it can be kind of pathetic to dwell on the past but I don’t care. Two of my biggest accomplishments that I had in high school, that I am still proud of to this day, were being voted “Class Clown” my senior year of High School and hosting the talent show, two things that would have never happened without this man who I have never and probably will never meet. I remember hosing the talent show very vividly. My close friend Jared, who was responsible for many of my laughs in school slept over the night before the talent show and we literally stayed up late writing jokes. In a way he was (and still would be if I ever had a career in comedy) my head writer. He would constantly feed me jokes in school that he was unable to say aloud because he, self admittedly, had poor delivery (something I still disagree with him on to this day). Anyway, we stayed up writing jokes all night and then came time for the big show. I remember telling myself that I wanted to channel Conan. Be like him in every way I could because he had already perfected the job of host in my eyes. The show actually went well and it felt absolutely amazing getting laughs from the 100s of audience members that included not only my peers but adults too. I was making grown adults laugh! While that may have been the peak of my career as a comedian, I still look back on those days quite fondly and credit Conan with being the inspiration for it all.

When Conan was screwed out of The Tonight Show by an vastly inferior talk show host he went on tour. Having never been to NY or LA, it was finally my opportunity to see him live. My mom took me to see Conan, during this tour, when he stopped in Toronto, just 3 hours from where I live in Rochester. It was one of the best nights of my life. I got to see my idol live. I was literally in the same room as him. We were on an upper balcony and the highlight of the show was definitely where we were sitting for one reason: At one point in the show Conan was singing a song and playing guitar when he rain into the audience and my jealousy furled from not being even closer to experience that. But, as chance would have it, he disappeared for a few seconds, only to show up directly behind me in my row and ran down the isle performing. I was even able to reach my hand out with everyone else and brushed his shoulder. I was a 12 year old girl at a One Direction concert. It was a true “I’m never washing this hand again” moment.

Now enough about me, back to Conan. Conan had some of the most out there, insane, gut bustlingly hilarious bits. I think one of my favorite bits was always Celebrity Survey. If you’re unfamiliar with it, Late Night would “send out” average survey questions to 3 different celebrities. The first two would “answer” normally while the 3rd would have some crazy, hilarious answer. He had so many great people on his show too. Whether it was Robert Smigel showing up as Triumph the Insult Comic dog or doing the voice of someone like Bill Clinton when he “video called” the show or Brian McCann showing up as Preparation H Raymond, Minty the Candy Can, the guy with bulletproof legs, etc. you always knew you were in for big laughs. Not only were these performers amazing, but what made the bits truly funny were Conan’s reactions. If a joke was dumb he would literally act disgusted by the joke and embarrassed by how low brow it was making it that much funnier. However, I think my all time favorite bit of his, which really showed just how funny Conan’s reactions could be was the Walker Texas Ranger Lever. When NBC and USA network became sisters stations Conan suddenly had access to all of this new content and capitalized on it by introducing the lever. It was a long red and yellow lever that sat next to his desk for a long time. Whenever he pulled said lever, an incredibly cheesy, poorly written, outdated clip from the television show Walker Texas Ranger would play. The clips were not only hilarious on their own but the reactions Conan would have to the clip and the enthusiasm he showed for pulling the lever made it comedy gold.

I could probably sit here all day and talk about the different bits on Conan and the things he did to not only make me laugh and cheer me up but to inspire me to be a better, funnier person but I don’t want to drone on any more. Conan was my idol, he was the person I used for my senior quote in high school and the person whose praises I sing the most when people as me about comedy that I like. What really helped me to idolize him too was that you could just tell he was a genuinely good, kind hearted person both in front of and behind the camera. I remember when he left the Tonight Show he made sure, at his own expense, that every single writer, crew member producer, etc. was taken care of and not just out on the street with no job and that kind of stuff really sticks with you when you’re idolizing a person for not only their comedic abilities, but as a human being. I can safely say my life would be different without Conan O’Brien or Late Night. I don’t know if I would have ever found comedy as such an immersive outlet like I did as a kid without him, and the man is single handedly (okay my mom deserves credit too) responsible for getting me through Middle School. This man taught me how to be funny, how to respect people while being funny, and how to appreciate comedy as one of the greatest things to get you through this fucked up world. I will forever be grateful to and idolize him and he and his comedy will always hold a special place in my heart for what it has meant to me over years, which is something I still don’t feel I have adequately put into writing with this Tumblr post. I’ll be counting the days until he returns to our televisions on HBO MAX.

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jgthirlwell · 4 years

Text

2019 year in review

This year I also invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2019

JG Thirlwell

Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

www.foetus.org

30 Albums of 2019 (although not all of them came out in 2019) Damon Locks & Black Monument Ensemble Where Future Unfolds (International Anthem) Le Grand Sbam Vaisseau Monde (Dur et Doux Caravaggio Caravaggio 2 & Turn Up (La Buissonne) Swans Leaving Meaning (Young God Records) 13 Million Year Old Ghost (Chaykin) Ben Frost Dark Cycles 1 & 2 (Invada) Sote Parallel Persia / Sacred Horror In Design (Diagonal) 33EMYBW Arthropods (SVBKVLT) Anna Meredith Fibs (Moshi Moshi) Kelly Moran Ultraviolet (Warp) Thom Yorke Anima (XL) Hildur Guðnadóttir Joker Soundtrack (Water Tower Music) Lingua Ignota Caligula (Profound Lore) Igorr Savage Synusoid (Metal Blade) Oli XL Rogue intruder Soul Enhancer (Blo-onm) Red Fang Murder The Mountains (Relapse) Michael Kiwanuka Kiwanuka (Polydor) Richard Dawson 2020 (Weird World) Idiot Flesh Fancy / The Nothing Show / Tales Of Instant Knowledge and Sure Death (YouTube) Ikarus Echo / Mosaiasmic (Ronin Rhythm Records) Poil Sus / Mula Poil (Dur et Doux) Orange Goblin A Eulogy For The Damned (Candlelight) Nivhek After its own death / Walking in a spiral towards the house (Yellow Electric) Ni Pantophobie (Due et Doux) Andrew WK You’re Not Alone (Sony) Rustin Man Drift Code (Domino) Kishi Bashi Omoiyari (Joful Noise) Liturgy HAQQ (YLYLCYN) Croatian Amor Isa (Posh Isolation) Schnellertollermeier Rights / X / Zorn einen ehmer üttert stem!! (Cuneiform) Scandinavian Star Solas (Posh Isolation) Synth Sisters Euphoria (EM records) JPEGMAFIA Veteran + All My Heroes Are Cornballs (EQT)

Notable Concerts I went to dozens of concerts and events in 2019. Here are some of the most notable. All in NYC except where noted.

Jan 8 Matt Marks Tribute at Protoype Festival. Roulette Jan 19 Lemon Twigs MHOW Jan 26 Julia Wolfe / NY Philharmonic Fire In My Mouth Lincoln Center Feb 16 Lucretia Dalt Issue Project Room Feb 23 Willliam Basinski Ambient Church Mar 13 Lou Reed Drones St John The Divine Mar 18 This Heat LPR + July 31 at Elsewhere Mar 20 Oran Ambarchi Fridman Gallery Mar 28 Fire! at Zurcher April 11 Aphex Twin Avant Gardner May 4 Zombi El Cortez May 11 Lawrence English Knockdown Center May 13 The Who + Orchestra Madison Square Garedn May 15 Alva Noto Metropolitan Museum June 11 Andrew Cyrille Marathon Roulette June 13 Christeene / Nastie Band Brooklyn Bazaar June 26 Simon Hanes National Sawdust July 27 Nick Zinner 41 Strings Rockefeller Center July 30 Flaming Lips / Lennon Claypool Delirium Capitol Theater Portchester Aug 2-4 Bang On A Can LOUD Festival Mass MOCA Notth Adams Aug 27 Pharmakon St Vitus Sep 5 JD Emmanuel Issue / First Unitarian Church Sep 18 Lingua Ignota St Vitus Set 21 King Crimson Radio City Oct 10 Melvins Warsaw Oct 19 Helm Cafe Oto Nov 1 Marc Almond Brooklyn Bazaar Nov 6 JPEGMAFIA Bowery Ballroom Nov 23 Caterina Barbieri Unsound Fest, Knockdown Center Nov 30 Knower Bowery Ballroom

Film & TV These films were flawed but resonated with me.

Chernobyl Ozark Once Upon A Time In Hollywood Joker Midsommar The Irishman Uncut Gems

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Matt Johnson

The The https://www.thethe.com/

Looking back on 2019 I decided to list a handful of political / alternative news websites rather than films, albums or books. In the UK the corporate media stooped to shocking new lows during our recent General Election campaign. Such dirty tactics are to be expected of conglomerates owned by the likes of Rupert Murdoch and his fellow right wing billionaires but this time around, previously ‘liberal’ outlets such as the BBC and Guardian also fully participated in the outrageous lies, smears and character assassination against the leader of the opposition Labour Party. The British population were now being forced fed the Establishment’s propaganda du jour from every possible direction. Personally I try to gather my information from as many alternative outlets as possible to contrast with the 24 hour corporate brainwashing we’re subjected to these days. I’ve listed just five sites from the dozens I regularly visit and although I certainly don’t agree with everything expressed on these sites I do feel that it essential that in supposed free and democratic societies we are at least exposed to a variety of viewpoints and opinions - rather than being trapped inside social media echo chambers in an Internet that is increasingly controlled and censored by sophisticated algorithms and where politically correct digital lynch mobs accuse anyone with an opinion that contradicts the official narrative of being a Russian agent! Anyway, a Happy New Year to you all and here’s hoping 2020 sets the new decade off in roaring style!

https://www.medialens.org/

https://www.truthdig.com/author/chris_hedges/

https://www.corbettreport.com/

https://thesaker.is/

https://thoughtmaybe.com/about/

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tristan Perich

Composer www.tristanperich.com

Here is a rather random selection of 10 of my favorite tracks of 2019, mostly courtesy Spotify recommendations over the year...

Full playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6OUSFLqLsAwhRQRF44yxWN?si=r33XRUuGR_iIOZHg4thuyA

Lechuga Zafiro: Para Abajo feat Matmos & Seba TC https://open.spotify.com/track/2xMnSTIBNZ8AT6w6TdZyU9

Kelpe: A Year and a Day https://open.spotify.com/track/4ANoLzEjtGOBl5qCvEiLov

Shida Shahabi: All In Circles https://open.spotify.com/track/5qMnq88JPMJQ81x5szpN3t

The Vernon Spring: Strength of a Young Man https://open.spotify.com/track/0zQUqR1UcXoPRSrTt0WuPs

Dessert: Thunderbird https://open.spotify.com/track/5rAguSvXxyo5zBq9a5RQWd

Yves V w/ Icona Pop: We Got That Cool (Robert Falcon & Jordan Jay Remix) https://open.spotify.com/track/1lEtudJvZNiibWzXc5m4mh

Selena Gomez: Look At Her Now https://open.spotify.com/track/4yI3HpbSFSgFZtJP2kDe5m

Masahiro Sugaya: Umi No Sunatsubu https://open.spotify.com/track/43egCanD1UNNvoCo2K4veC

Konradsen: Baby Hallelujah https://open.spotify.com/track/6TBnYhxTzSiiVmMBjpZ3gH

Slow Magic: Girls (DJ Clap Remix) https://open.spotify.com/track/31Sdj7aF1h4emCJtkxdy1A

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James Ilgenfritz

Composer https://infrequentseams.com/

James Ilgenfritz's favorite witnessed events, by month:

Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future (January, Guggenheim) Anaïs Maviel: who is this ritual for and from? (February, Roulette) Roscoe MItchell, SPACE, Wavefield Ensemble (March, Park Avenue Armory) Blank Forms: Nadah El Shazly (April, Brooklyn Music School) Barre Phillips Solo (May, Zurcher Gallery) Heiner Goebbels: Everything That Happened And Would Happen (June, Park Avenue Armory) Zodiac Saxophone Quartet: Charles Waters, Ras Moshe Burnett, Claire Daly, Lee Odom (July, Scholes St) Tie: Judith Berkson: Partial Memories & Juho Laitinen: Robert Ashley's The Wolfman (August, Ostrava Days, Czech Republic) Zeena Parkins / William Winant / Ikue Mori (September, The Stone) Vinnie Golia / Bobby Bradford Quartet (October, Edgefest in Ann Arbor) LA Philharmonic: Wubbels, Macklay, Sabat, Smith, Perich (Los Angeles, November) Art Ensemble Of Chicago (December, Washington, DC)

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Carl Michael Von Hausswolff

Artist / Composer

https://cmvonhausswolff.net/

10 special artists of 2019 in no specific order: • Hildur Guðnadóttir - her film music • sunn o))) - their Life Metal and Pyroclasts albums • Ilpo Väisänen - his concert in Stockholm • Cindy van Acker - her choreographic work • Jónsi & Alex - their old Riceboy Sleeps album and 2019 tour • Swans - their leaving meaning album • Flowers Must Die - their Där Blommor Dör album • Bigert & Bergström - their climate awareness art • Vanessa Sinclair & Carl Abrahamsson - all their work during 2019 • Hans-Joachim Roedelius and Tim Story - their Lunz 3 album

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Ryan Martin

Label Boss, Dais Records

www.daisrecords.com

Richard Youngs & Raül Refree "All Hands Around the Monument" Sarah Davachi "Pale Bloom" James Hoff "HOBO UFO (v. Chernobyl)" Wojciech Rusin ‎"The Funnel" Caterina Barbieri "Ecstatic Computation" Solange "When I Get Home" Kali Malone "The Sacrificial Code" Deathprod "Occulting Disk" Vatican Shadow "Kuwaiti Airforce" Ben Vida "Reducing The Tempo To Zero" JPEGMAFIA "All My Heroes Are Cornballs" Dean Hurley "Anthology Resource Vol. II: Philosophy of Beyond" Sean McCann "Puck" Oren Ambarchi "Simian Angel" Tyler, The Creator "IGOR" Helm "Chemical Flowers" JAB "Erg Herbe" Emptyset "Blossoms" E-Saggila "My World, My Way" Jacob Kirkegaard "Black Metal Square" Boy Harsher "Careful"

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Weasel Walter

Composer/performer / label head https://weaselwalter.bandcamp.com/

2019 was far from my favorite year. Regardless, I managed to release not one, but two new double albums by The Flying Luttenbachers (as well as two European tours with the unit) in addition to the usual slew of improvised music gigs and releases, and co-ordinating and producing an archival release of vintage NYC weirdness (Ozone). I also rocked Mexico City with Lydia Lunch Retrovirus, played a ridiculous gig with Encenathrakh, and disbanded Cellular Chaos (for now, at least).

When I become obsessed (or re-obsessed with something), it usually leads to a ton of proselytizing Facebook status posts. Combing my 2019 posts, it seems that my musical obsessions this year weren't very highbrow. Ha ha ha. Yes, I'm super into Xenakis, Cecil Taylor and whatever else, but dumber music can supply great creature comfort, and I guess I needed that in large amounts, so that's what it was. Sometimes badass modernists have to take time out to stay in bed all day and read comics because it's a hard cold world out there.

Weasel Walter top 10 musical obsessions of 2019 1. Kid Creole and the Coconuts (1980-1985 era) 2. Redd Kross 3. The Saints "I'm Stranded" 4. Jane Aire and the Belvederes 5. Miles Davis 1972-1975 6. Khanate "Things Viral 7. Mandy Zone & Ozone "Live at Max's Kansas City 1981" 8. Mayhem "Grand Declaration of War" 9. Comedy Bang Bang Episode #554 w/ Middleditch, Sanz 10. Weezer "Pinkerton"

Weasel Walter worst thing about 2019

1. Windows 10

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C.Spencer Yeh

Composer / Performer https://twitter.com/cspenceryeh?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Ten live music highlights of 2019 - The Brandon Lopez Trio (Lopez/Steve Baczkowski/Gerald Cleaver) at Fridman Gallery, June 18 - DeForrest Brown Jr., Pennies From Heaven series at CONTROL, January 15 - Charmaine Lee, Nothing Changes at Saint Vitus, January 30 - Bloodyminded at Apartment 202, December 14 - Longmont Potion Castle live QnA, Spectacle Theater, March 23 - Joshua Abrams & Natural Information Society, Roulette, July 1 - Helm, Elsewhere, September 21 - Korn, Radiohead, Red Light District, October 26 - Mdou Moctar, Max Fish, September 1 - Mayo Thompson plays "Corky's Debt to His Father," Le Poisson Rouge, December 8

Speed round – five various still on the mind at the end of 2019 - Charlotte Moorman / Nam June Paik long sleeve t-shirt, Boot Boyz - Acacia leaf omelet and shrimp in sour curry, Jitlada, Los Angeles - Lynnée Denise, presentation for Omniaudience (Side Two) presented by Triple Canopy/Nikita Gale/Hammer Museum at Coaxial Arts, May 4 - PARASITE (2019) - ANIARA (2018)

Also, Spectacle Theater turns ten in 2020 and you should really come visit us.

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DJ Food

Artist / composer / DJ / curator

www.djfood.org

Music / podcasts: Pye Corner Audio - Hollow Earth LP (Ghost Box) Various - Corroded Circuits EP 12" (Downfall Recordings) Chris Moss Acid - Heavy Machine 12" (Balkan Vinyl) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Fishing For Fishes LP (Flightless) Pictogram - Trace Elements cassette (Miracle Pond) Vanishing Twin - The Age of Immunology LP (Fire Records) Big Mouth podcast (various) (Acast) Beans - Triptych LP (Gamma Proforma) Roisin Murphy - Incapable single (Skint) Ebony Steel Band - Pan Machine LP (Om Swagger) People Like Us - The Mirror LP (Discrepant) Coastal County - Coastal County LP (Lomas) Adam Buxton podcast (various) (Acast) Ghost Funk Orchestra - A Song For Paul LP (Karma Chief) Jon Brooks - Emotional Freedom Techniques LP (Cafe Kaput) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Organ Farmer (from Infest the Rat's Nest LP) (Flightless) Jane Weaver - Fenella LP (Fire Records) Polypores - Brainflowers cassette (Miracle Pond)

Design / packaging: Pepe Deluxé - The Surrealist Woman lathe cut 7" (Catskills) Various - Science & Technology ERR Rec Library Vol.2 (ERR Records) DJ Pierre presents ACID 88 vol. III LP (Afro Acid) Mark Ayres plays Wendy Carlos - Kubrick 7" (Silva Screen) Tomorrow Syndicate - Citizen Input 10" (Polytechnic Youth) The Utopia Strong - S/T LP (Rocket Recordings) Jarvis - Sunday Service LP (ACE records) Andy Votel - Histoire D'Horreur cassette (Hypocrite?) Sculpture - Projected Music 5" zoetrope picture disc (Psyché Tropes) Lapalux - Amnioverse LP (Brainfeeder) Hieroglyphic Being - Synth Expressionism / Rhythmic Cubism LP (On The Corner Records)

Film / TV: Sculpture - Meeting Our Associates (Plastic Infinite) This Time with Alan Partridge (BBC) Avengers: Endgame (Disney/Marvel) Imaginary Landscapes - Sam Campbell (Vinyl Factory) What We Do In The Shadows (BBC2) The Mandalorian (Disney+)

Books / Comics / Magazines: Beastie Boys Book - Mike Diamond & Adam Horowitz (Spiegel & Grau) Cosmic Comics - A Kevin O'Neill Miscellany (Hibernia Books) Electronic Sound magazine (Pam Com. Ltd) Moebius - 40 Days In The Desert (expanded edition) (Moebius Productions) Rock Graphic Originals - Peter Golding w. Barry Miles (Thames & Hudson) 2000AD / Judge Dredd Megazine (Rebellion) Silver Surfer Black - Donny Cates/Tradd Moore (Marvel) Help - Simon Amstell (Square Peg) The Scarfolk Annual - Richard Littler (William Collins) Wrappers Delight - Jonny Trunk (Fuel)

Gigs / Events: Vanishing Twin @ Prince of Wales Pub, Brighton Stereolab @ Concorde 2, Brighton People's Vote March 23rd March, London Wobbly Sounds book launch @ Spiritland, London Confidence Man @ The Electric, Brixton, London Mostly Jazz Funk & Soul Festival, Moseley, Birmingham Bluedot Festival, Jodrell Bank, Manchester HaHa Sounds Collective play David Axelrod's Earth Rot @ Tate Exchange, London School of Hypnosis play In C @ Cafe Oto, London Palace Electrics, Antenna Studios, London The Delaware Road, New Zealand Farm, Salisbury Breaking Convention closing party, Greenwich, London Jonny Trunk & Martin Green's Hidden Library @ Spiritland, Southbank, London Negativland / People Like Us @ Cafe Oto, London HaHa Sound Collective plays the David Axelrod songbook @ The Church of Sound, London, Sculpture, Janek Schaefer, Mariam Rezaei + the 26 turntable ensemble @ The Old Baths, Hackney, London Vanishing Twin & Jane Weaver's Fenella @ Studio 9294, Hackney Wick, London

Exhibitions: Sister Corita Kent @ House of Illustration, London, Augustinbe Kofie @ Stolen Space, London, Victor Vasarely @ Pompidou Centre, Paris, Mary Quant @ V&A Museum, London, Stanley Kubrick @ The Design Museum, London, Tim Hunkin's Novelty Automation Museum, London, Keith Haring retrospective @Tate, Liverpool, Nam June Paik, Tate Modern, London, Takis @ Tate Modern, London, Shepard Fairy @ Stolen Space, London, Damien Hirst 'Mandalas' at the White Cube, London, Bridget Riley @ The Hayward, London, Museum of Neo-liberalism, Lewisham, London.

#playlist #DJ Food #JG Thirlwell #C.Spencer Yeh #Weasel Walter #Ryan Martin #dais records #Carl Michael Von Hausswolff #James Ilgenfritz #Matt Johnson #The THe #Tristan Perich #2019 year in review

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starkeredits · 4 years

Text

A Lot of Catching Up to Do

By Tileb Hanser

Chapter One: Answers

Find it here on AO3

It’s been about a month and a half now, since the restoration of the Blip, the return of all those lost to Thanos’ fingers, and the sacrifice Tony Stark made for the universe. He should be dead, according to Dr. Strange. The power of all six Infinity Stones and the Snap were almost the death of the Hulk, who seemed to be made for the Gauntlet. Tony is just a regular human being when it comes right down to it, while the Hulk was obviously more equipped for the destructive effects, there is just no logic to explain the miracle. Yet of course, Tony was still left severely damaged clinging onto life by a thin thread. Surrounded by his closest friends and family, the sight of their faces, all alive and finally safe, was what gave him just the slightest bit of energy he needed to stay holding on. The trip from the battlefield to the closest moderately staffed hospital was blurred with confusion and dissipating adrenaline. It was a miracle, the few doctors still staffed throughout the Blip did all they could to save the hero of the Universe, along with Dr. Strange, Bruce, and Shuri. Their combined efforts kept his life supported with high tech machinery and a few wizardly tricks from Dr. Strange.

The past month and a half after the defeat of Thanos left the hero in a coma, during which he had plenty of visitors, whom most were immediate friends and family. Peter Parker being one of the most frequent visitors. He has the most gratitude and compassion since that fateful day. He may have had a slight obsession with the billionaire genius before Tony first recruited him, but it has only grown since then, especially after the undying sacrifice Tony made for all of mankind. It started off innocent of course, just a geeky obsession from a nerd for a genius. But within the last month or so, Peter has started to notice changes in his feelings towards Tony.

Since the Blip, Peter has basically missed five years of aging and at a somewhat inconvenient time in his life. When he first started noticing the increasing changes in his body, he dismissed them, knowing it was all normal signs of puberty. He started puberty a decent time before the Blip, therefore, he assumed, it should just pick up where it left off at sixteen years old. However, that was not the case. To make matters worse, all his thoughts are filled with countless fantasies he’d never even known he knew, and they were all centered around one person; Tony Stark.

Everyday, he finds himself trapped in his thoughts as he sees Tony, Mr. Stark, sweaty from a workout, peeling off his shirt as he smirks at Peter watching with awe. He imagines being under the hard muscle of Mr. Stark's torso as he pins his wrists to the silk sheets below. Peter can’t take the onslaught of pleasure anymore, he needs answers, he needs help. His best bet is to seek out Dr. Strange after his fifth random hard-on in the past two days, for an explanation.

While he stutters through his question to the wizard, realization dawns on the later. He then explains to Peter, with a much too calm demeanor, that his body is confused about missing five years of time and that it’s trying to make up for it in the quickest way it can.

“Basically, your body is attempting to cram five years of puberty into… well, right now.” Peter is appalled, how long would that take? Will it be nonstop, seemingly forever? He can’t even spend the next week with the constant heat pooling in his stomach or the dirty thoughts plaguing his mind.

“I can probably come up with an antidote that will unfortunately only slow the process so it’s not as overwhelming, but it’s better than nothing.” Peter accepts the offer greatly before he finally decides he needs an answer about his new obsession with Tony.

“Oh and there’s uh, one more thing I was confused about.” He speaks sheepishly, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. The wizard only responds with an uninterested grunt. Peter takes that as an invitation to continue.

“With everything that’s happening with my body, well, it’s also sort of focused on one person. Like, all the fantasies, they are about this person...” Peter trails off, not exactly sure how to phrase the question, but Dr. Strange gives it some thought before answering.

“Usually after one goes through a traumatic or confusing experience, much like the Blip, the first person they see or interact with becomes some sort of... source of comfort to the other. Almost like an imprint.” He pauses his movements before continuing. “Was this person someone you interacted with after you returned from the Blip?”

Suddenly it all starts to click, after the constant adrenaline from the battle against Thanos and his army, Peter remembered his worrying thoughts cleared from his head the moment he laid eyes on Tony. He was hysterical over him, clutching onto his lifeless body with complete desperation.

“Yes.” Peter simply replies weekly.

“Hmm, it’s possible you may have... imprinted on this person, and with your other symptoms of puberty, I suppose your body is just using the comfort you feel from this person to base your thoughts and feelings on, if that makes any sense.” All Peter can do is nod at his reply and the wizard accepts it nonchalantly.

“The antidote can’t fix that unfortunately, since these are two different mental reactions combining to one and this antidote is only specific towards one.” Peter mentally slaps himself before he sulks over to the living room couch. After about an hour of torture sitting on the couch of the wizards home, suppressing another urge to reach his hand down his pants at any moment, the antidote is finally finished. He snatches the vial out of Dr. Strange's hands before speeding out of the building with a rushed “thank you.”

Peter drinks the sour tasting liquid of the antidote the minute he knows he’s alone and he feels immediate relief on his aching hard-on as his mind can finally focus on anything other than Tony. While the sensations are pleasurable, they are just too overwhelming and it's just now that Peter realizes how exhausted he is. He lands with a huff on his small twin sized bed and finally manages to sleep without any dreams filled with his mentor's body against his own. Luckily, he doesn’t experience any nightmares either, which have also become somewhat of a recurrence since the Blip.

The loud familiar ring from Peter's phone jars him awake somewhere around three a.m. from an unknown number. Frustrated that his undisturbed sleep was interrupted, Peter plans to just let the phone ring out, but when the ringtone starts up again a second time, he finally gives up with a groan of protest.

“Hello?” He answers with clear annoyance.

“Mr. Parker,” the well known deep voice of Nick Fury purrs through the speaker. Peter sits up immediately, concern and panic etching its way into his mind.

“Mr. Fury, sir, what is it?” Peter continues to drag himself out of bed, rushing straight towards his spider suit stored in his closet.

“We have someone here at NY Presbyterian Hospital who is awake and would like to see you.” Peter immediately stops in his tracks hearing those words. His heart starts to race and an entirely too inappropriate image appears in his head for a split second before he pushes it to the back of his mind. He is ecstatic, already putting on his suit and jumping out his window before he could answer Fury.

He arrives in less than ten minutes, bursting into the hospital room where he sees a few familiar faces already there. But he doesn't care about those people, the only one he’s concerned with is Tony. All eyes are on Peter with his big entrance, sporting his spider suit, including Tony. His face is still red and terribly sore looking, on the majority of the right side, from the resulting blast of the final Snap. His right arm still wrapped in reddening bandages. But his eyes, oh those brilliant brown eyes are open, awake, and staring into Peter's soul.

Peter rips off the mask from his suit revealing his slack jaw and teary wide eyes. He watches Tony's lip barely manage to curve with a hint of a smirk and he loses it.

“Mr. Stark!” He cries out, suddenly jolting towards the feeble looking man before him. He collapses against the edge of the hospital bed in a sobbing heap, clutching onto Tony's shoulders desperately.

“Oh, Peter,” Tony murmurs into Peter's hair along with a small peck. Peter tries not to think too much of that, it's just a common gesture of affection, yet he can’t stop how his mind wonders and there's an undeniable stir in his pants. The added strong scent of Tony filling his senses as he tucks his head into his neck doesn’t help either. Although, it's nowhere near as overpowering as it was before the antidote, so he manages after a few minutes of concentration to will those thoughts away. When he unburries his face from the now damp spot of Tony's neck, he notices they are now just the only two in the room; Tony must have dismissed them while he was concentrating on… other things.

Peter looks into Tony's deep brown eyes, he can see them glossy with his own tears, yet crinkling ever so slightly with the tired smile he could muster.

“I missed you so much Mr. Stark! You have no idea! I came here and visited you as much as I could, even talked to you when I knew you couldn’t hear me.” Peter rambled, while still clutching onto his mentor.

“I missed you too, it doesn't feel real, but god I’m so happy it is.” To hear his voice again, although clearly tired from his injuries, it was the best sound in the world. Tony tugged on Peter's suit arm sleeve the best he could while making room for him on the bed. Peter happily obliged.

“Tell me everything, kid. What have I missed?” Tony asked, sounding content just laying there listening to Peter's voice. Peter doesn’t miss a beat and begins babbling about everything that has happened since the Blip was fixed which causes Tony to chuckle lightly. Of course Peter does leave out a few things involving his new highly inappropriate obsession with the genius hero and everything that applies to it. He doesn’t want to scare off Tony just yet, not so soon after almost losing him for good.

They spend the next few hours talking about the past months' events until Tony finally lets himself fall asleep listening to the boy's constant rambling, a small smile on his face. When Peter finally notices he's asleep, he doesn't feel too opposed to the idea of sleeping himself, remembering the fact that he woke up at three am just two hours ago. He lets his head rest gingerly on Tony's shoulder, inhaling his scent as he feels himself succumb to sleep.

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #239

i just want to sincerely apologize if my surveys take a negative nosedive again. i know this one’s kinda grim and i don’t want to make that a routine, but things are just rough right now and i’m not gonna lie on a survey, y’know.

Do you know anyone who works at McDonald’s? Not that I'm aware of. Do you know anyone who plays heaps of sports? Probably through school. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Where do your cousins live? Aaaaaaall over the U.S. Have you met any of your second cousins? Possibly at some point? Do you like the All-American Rejects? I like "Move Along" and "It Ends Tonight" is good, but that's all off the top of my head. Oh wait, of course there's "Gives You Hell." When was the last time you wore a skirt? WOW I have ZERO clue. Probably not since elementary years. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty. If so, which one(s)? There are way too many. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Me, Sara, probably others. Which one of your friends has great music taste? Sara. Was the last person you hung out with single? That would be my young niece and nephew... so yeah. Have you ever attended a private school? I'm a private college now. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No, thank Christ. Have you ever cooked for anyone other than yourself? I made breakfast for Sara once. If your phone has a hole for phone charms, is it on the left or right side? I don't have one. Would you rather live in the city, the suburbs, or the rural area? Kinda like... suburban mixed with rural. I don't wanna be totally isolated, particularly away from necessary stores and such, but I also do NOT wanna be swarmed by people. Maybe like a loose neighborhood in the woods outside a small town? Do you know someone who is really ambidextrous? Sara. Did you use a pencil today? No. Are you adopted? Nope. Have you ever had your car break down on you? Never when I've driven, not that that's been much. With Mom, yes. Dad, idr. Jason's prom night, yeah; his truck broke down otw home at a stop light. Oof. Who was the last person that cried in your presence? My mom. It's the worst. When was the last time you ate at your favorite restaurant? Oh wow, probably not since my last birthday. What was the last thing someone gave you? A close family friend/my former teacher lent me a $20 just in case I needed anything while my mom was up in NY. Can you write your name in a foreign language? My first name (at least) is the same in German; even though "y" doesn't exist in the language, I guess it does for foreign names?? Idk about my last name. Who is the person you often go to for venting? Sara. Do you keep an actual journal or diary? No, not anymore. I did briefly when I had that WILD and totally random Jason obsession episode, but once I came off that godawful medicine and I went back to normal, I deleted it. Have you ever been prescribed Vicodin? That sounds very familiar... Maybe? Perhaps that's what was prescribed after my surgery? Have you ever cheated on someone without them finding out about it? Well considering I've never cheated and never would, I can't answer this. Was the last person you kissed male or female? Female. Who were you with the last time you went swimming? Colleen, at the beach. Does your dining table currently have place mats on it? No; we don't even eat at it. What was the last thing you cooked in an oven? I myself have literally never used an oven. I'm scared to. Oh wait, yeah I have... on some occasions where Mom needed me to put something in there or take something out, but idr what. But boy and I can tell you without memory that I was jumpy as hell about it. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? No. It's difficult for me to like-like people, especially men when you consider I'm generally afraid of them, on top of I'm just paranoid and don't trust easily. Do you prefer wheat or white bread? Wheat. Do you have an electric toothbrush? No, but coincidentally, I actually have that on my Christmas wishlist. Have you ever had an “exotic” or “abnormal” pet? Do you consider a Chinese water dragon "exotic?" Then I have a ball python morph. Have you ever eaten lobster? No, and considering crab is nauseating, I doubt lobster would be too different. What is your grade point average (if you’re still in school)? I don't know right now and don't know where to find it. Have you ever played croquet? Oh yeah. My sisters and I LOVED that shit as kids. Who was the last person you called? Dad. Have you ever watched Ghostbusters? No, believe it or not. When was the last time you drew a picture? Yikes... been a while. Not since I started a concept drawing of encompassing a panic attack in a meerkat form, as I tend to do. I haven't touched it in months. It's right on the second shelf of the table beside me, so... my only remaining excuse as to not finish it is that the paper is horribly wrinkled now. Are you happy? Not exactly. Should you be doing something now? I could be doing the practice exam work my math professor gave us all considering it's extra credit, but. Yeah. I'm absolutely awful at math and barely passing but I don't exactly need another stressor right now. Is there a smoke detector on every floor of your house? We only have one floor. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried vegetable soup anyway when I got my tongue pierced because I literally could not eat solids for over a week, but I'm a picky asshole who didn't like it so wasted the can. I had to survive almost exclusively on meal replacement shakes and popsicles. Warning from the wise: you want your tongue pierced? You better fucking want it bad because healing is a P R O C E S S. Or at least mine was, having to get it re-done and all... Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? I don't think a year... but maybe? Do you think you could go a week without sugar? Considering sugar is in like... EVERYTHING, probably no? Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? I don't really pay attention, but I probably already do. I'd like to eat as little meat as possible. Hell, I wish I could go full-on vegan. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NO. Do you have any talents that your friends don’t know about? No. Are you any good at sewing? Never tried, not interested. Has anyone ever interviewed you about one of your hobbies/talents? No. Would you ever consider experimenting with drugs? Marijuana for medical purposes if I didn't have to smoke it. I'm not smoking anything, I don't care what it is. What’s been tugging on your heart lately? I guess life in general. Mortality, death. Teddy died in my arms, I saw my grandmother physically ravaged by cancer, and just life hasn't been the kindest lately. I've been thinking about how time just flies, how every moment should be cherished even though it's so fucking hard, and just yeah. I don't wanna go down this rabbit hole. Are you comfortable with who you are? Have you accepted who you are? I don't know dude I shouldn't be taking a survey during like an existential crisis lol. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Decided to get some really unhealthy fries with my dinner. Would you have sex with the last person you texted? It's not a matter of "would," I want to. I may have already, I don't really know what separates foreplay from lesbian sex. Do you consider weed, marijuana, pot, etc. a drug? This isn't even an argument anymore, it's fact. It's a mind-altering substance. "Drug" does not always equate to bad, either. Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? It'd be nice. Do you require a lot of private time? Oh yeah, but way less than I used to. I get depressed if I'm alone for too long now. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? N/A What is your favorite classic Disney movie? The Lion King. Do you like looking at old photographs? Yeah, usually. Do you enjoy puzzles? Yeah. Do you prefer painting or drawing? Drawing by a long shot. I'm taking a painting course this upcoming semester though, so hopefully that'll up my skill and thus enjoyment of it. Do you ever wear high heels? No, I don't have a reason to. Do you use belts? No, considering I never wear anything with belt loops. When was the last time you played Uno? Oh my fucking god, it's been forever, thankfully. When I lived with Colleen, as did her younger sister, we played Uno a lot, and then, AND THEN, came the night Chelsea dyed my hair red. Mind you, the ONLY TIME dyeing my hair had been truly successful and long-lasting. The process took hours, and we played Uno round after Uno round... and now I literally hate it. What do you like better, kiwis or pineapple? Oh man, I love both, but I gotta say kiwi. Are you trying to grow out your hair? No, I actually need to cute it again. What is your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? Don't have one, really. Have you ever wanted to try karate? Not seriously. How often do you drink water? Ah yikes... I really fell out of my regular habit of drinking multiple bottles daily. Do you ever wear headbands? No. How many video games do you own? A lot. There's like a huge CD case in a living room drawer full of them. I've been considering making an EBay or something to sell a shitload of them as I'm sure a lot are actually pretty valuable now, but I think a lot about how I want to pass them down to my current and possibly future nieces and nephews when they get to a certain age to figure video games out or even have a console that can play PS1-PS3. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. What’s your favorite suburb in the city you live in? Why would you... name that on the Internet...? Besides that even, I pay no attention to suburbs' names I happen to pass. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. I don't know if I could ever muster up the courage to even go in one. I'm the type that would just order online. What’s your favorite place to get pizza? I'm a basic Domino's bitch. How many times have you been to the beach? Multiple, but not a LOT. I have little reason to ever go, and it's never my idea, that's for sure. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. Childhood home. Trying the Jiffy Pop popcorn that you make over the stove. Next thing y'know the thing is seriously on fire and we had to use the fire extinguisher. Fuck you, Jiffy Pop, the harbinger of the next fucking idiots moving in setting the entire house on fire thanks to the stove too. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No, besides like bees 'n the like being near me. Have you ever had a spray tan? No. Do you own any sports bras? Where’d you get them from? No, but I'd like at least one. Wouldn't know what to use it for, it's not like I go jogging or anything, but. I think it'd be good to have at least one. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen? No. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? I have zero clu- no wait I'm gonna guess the Italian restaurant we went to on Sara's birthday, but that's just a guess judging by how it was fancy as fuck. Who crosses your mind the most? Sara. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? Probably as a kid. Ever been to an auction? No. would you ever get acupuncture? omg no Ever got stitches? At least twice. What is a must have on your french fries? At least some salt. Entirely saltless fries are boring. How do you like your meat cooked…medium rare? well done? Nothing less than medium well. If meat tastes even a little bit beneath lukewarm I can't take that shit. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Bright yellow and puke-green. What do you usually do with recurring dreams? ... Nothing? What CAN you do? Have you ever been told you were hot by a complete stranger? I don't think someone has used the term "hot," but I know I've been called pretty, at least. Do you want to be single or with someone? I want to be with Sara. It kinda feels like we still are, like no feelings have changed, we're just not "official" anymore and not "bound" to one another. Have you ever had a sleepover with the opposite sex? I actually have twice (or thrice?) platonically with my younger neighbor FOREVER ago. We were still kids. Then there was a big (birthday?) party at my place where Juan stayed the night, and then I believe there was an occasion Girt totally knocked out on the couch so... I guess it turned into a "sleepover?" lmao Who are you closest to in your family? My mom. Who were the last 3 people to text you? Sara, Mom, and my sister. Have you ever dated someone in jail? No, and I wouldn't unless it was for something incredibly stupid or I'm aware was a false charge. What’s a movie you cannot BARE to ever watch again? Nothing's coming off the top of my head. Who got you hooked on the addiction you're addicted to (If you have one)? ... I just connected it all in my head. Jason got me into the Amnesia game. I got into custom stories for it. I was playing one one day. I got stuck. I YouTubed it for help. Guess. Who. I. Fuckin'. Found. This is a revelation; I have discovered the main purpose of my and Jason's relationship. Perhaps things do happen for a reason lmao. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? Not really, but I wouldn't say I'm in no way cautious. They definitely don't scare me, though. I just respect that they're very powerful animals and I'm not experienced with handling them. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yes, on rice that was literally right off the fucking stove lmao. LOOK I didn't know it had JUST come off and I was hungry as fuck but boy did I have REGRETS considering the burn lasted for well over a week, maybe two. Do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable? Um, yes...????? Do you like to have cake on your birthday? Which kind of cake in mind? Yeah, and red velvet or chocolate frosted, depending on what I'm feeling.

#survey #quiz #questions #bored #random

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freedomintothedaylight13-blog · 5 years

Text

Introduction: Hi!

Hi!

I’m Tara, and I’m twenty-seven years old.

I’m going to talk about my weight loss history/introduction in my next post, so I figured I would make this post about me as a person. This will serve two purposes:

1) To help those who follow (if I have any followers?) get to know more about me.

2) More importantly, to remind me there’s more to me than just my weight. For so many years, whenever I looked in the mirror (and even still today), all I see is my weight. I forget to look beyond my body and see the girl inside that skin.

Here are some facts about me that have nothing to do with a weight loss journey:

I love to write. From the time I was a little girl, it has been a huge passion of mine. I’ve written stories, poems, essays on everything from paper towels, napkins, countless notebooks, word documents, and computers. It’s like a compulsion of mine, and it’s always the best way for me to express myself. I’ve been published in my college literary magazine and was vice president of the literary club, as well as published in a Brooklyn, NY newspaper at 10 years old. My biggest dream is to have published books/novels, and be on the NY Times Best-Seller list. One day!

I moved from NY to AZ last September, so it’s been almost a year. I’m happy here, although I miss home like nothing else. I wish there was a way I could mix NY and AZ together, for the cooler weather of the east coast, with the majestic sunsets of the west coast. The delicious New York food, with the friendliness of the Arizona people. I miss the rain and thunderstorms of New York, but I know when I’m home, I miss the stillness and quiet of Arizona twilight. I think I’m becoming an okay blend of the two places, but I still wish I could be in two places at once.

I am in a lovely relationship with my girlfriend of four years. Crystal is beautiful inside and outside and she is amazing; I am so lucky. She tolerates my hours-long trips around Michaels and Ulta. She also shares a love of food network with me, Italian dishes (and doesn’t judge my tendency to unscrew the cap of parmesan cheese at restaurants and rain down on my food!), crafting, and cute dogs. We met in college and were long distance before I moved here for 9 months, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Now we have our first apartment together, and we have a small black kitten named Luna Francis Bean. My girlfriend is hilarious, kind, smart, and a total inspiration to me. My cat is also all of these things :P We have an adorable family if I do say so myself.

Taylor Alison Swift is my favorite human being that I don’t actually know personally. I’ve been a fan since early 2007. I have every one of her albums (some multiple copies; hello, 1989 polaroids!), and have seen her on tour 5 times. All of those are cumulatively some of the best nights of my life. I talk about her way too much and can be what some may call obsessed. I’ve been wearing red lipstick and cat-wing eyeliner like her since I discovered her, and it is part of my own signature look. I have her lyrics memorized and on a constant loop in my head. She’s been the background of me falling in love, feeling heartbreak (all kinds), picking myself up off the floor and fully embracing my own reputation. I started learning to write songs (or trying, anyway), because of her. One day, I hope to hug her tight and actually be able to look her in the eyes and tell her all of these things.

I love makeup! I love doing my makeup and doing other people’s makeup. I actually became a certified makeup artist back in February of this year (even though I haven’t put it to use yet). I spend way too much money on new mascaras, palettes, highlight, and foundations. Some people binge watch TV shows and movies, I binge watch makeup tutorials on youtube for hours. One of my favorite YouTubers is Bailey Sarian, who does murder mystery and makeup; where I get to watch her do gorgeous makeup on herself and she teaches us about a true-crime story that makes your skin crawl. It’s a win-win! The picture above was my rainbow makeup for pride this year! (I didn’t go to pride. But I still wanted to do the makeup, as if I went!)

The Golden Girls is my favorite TV show. Boy Meets World is a very close second. Yes, my favorite TV show is one about old ladies. I watched it with my grandma when I was a young girl, and now I watch marathons of it. I’ve seen so many episodes and reruns but I laugh just as hard each time. I have an autograph given to me by one of my best friends from Betty White herself. I have t-shirts, books, mugs, everything. I hope one day I’ll be as confident as Blanche, as heart-warming as Rose, as wise as Dorothy, and as fearless as Sophia.

Laughing is one of my favorite things in the world. I love stand-up comedy and listen to comedy albums as I drive to keep myself from succumbing completely to road rage during my daily commute. I can repeat (and do often with friends from work) complete skits and dialogue from my favorite comedians. I do my best to make people laugh as much as I can. I truly believe that laughter is one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given as human beings, and it can truly spread joy for everyone and anyone.

Here I’ll include some shorter facts that are just as important, but not requiring long winded paragraphs (although I could easily write long winded paragraphs for these things too).

I love books, and one day I hope to have a library like Belle in beauty and the beast. (No, really, I want the ladder to swing on and everything). If I’m lost or MIA, I’m probably in between stacks at Barnes and noble. I also think I’m Belle from Beauty and the Beast, since my nose is usually stuck in a book.

I’m obsessed with dogs. All dogs. My favorites are pit bulls, pugs, and golden retrievers. I have a dog voice and everything (that also gets used on my cat).

My mom is my best friend. I bother her all day long with questions about any and everything. She is one of the things I miss most about New York, if not the biggest thing.

I’m terrible at texting back. I know it, I am aware of it, and sometimes I try to work on it. I make no promises, though. (Bonus points to you if you get where this screenshot is from!)

I love crafting. I love the idea of creating something with my own two hands. I wish I had a job that allowed me to be more creative and work with my hands. Crafts allow me to express myself and be a kid again. (side note: sometimes when I’m anxious, I make my own notebooks from tutorials on youtube).

I love watching documentaries. Call me super boring, but I love to curl up with a mug of tea and a documentary that will teach me something. Whether it’s historical or just about something new, I’m usually pretty enraptured.

I can’t cook. While this is something I’d love to improve upon with going forward in my weight loss journey, currently I suck at it. I can make maybe 4 things without burning the house down. And 3/4 things involve pasta, so....

Speaking of pasta, it’s my favorite food. I’ll eat it almost any way you can serve it to me. Lasagna, Macaroni and Cheese, with garlic and oil, baked ziti, in soup, literally any way you can put it on a dish. I wish I chose to write a long paragraph about pasta. While I clearly don’t discriminate between pasta dishes, I have to say, bowties are my absolute favorite kind.

So there are some facts about me!

If you read through all that, I applaud you! I actually enjoyed writing it because it reminded me that underneath everything, where my heart and brain are, I’m a pretty fun person. I have wit, a sense of humor, and a heart that’s way too big for my body. So, these are things I must remember when I am trying to stay calm looking in the mirror. Look past the exterior, and remember there’s a funny, kind, sweet soul inside this body I am trying to heal.

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