#i mean at least i have coins

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[deiaiko]

#16.2 Rachel

Bam stepped into the bare and bleak room of an old rented house on the outskirts. The only thing of interest was a simple wooden chair in the center of the room that was occupied by none other than Rachel. Her head was hung low and her wrists were tied behind her around the chair backrest. Mr. Agni reasoned he had to put her to sleep to avoid unnecessary fights, and assured Bam that she'd wake up soon enough.

Bam could hear Mr. Agni and Grace-hyung talking just outside of the room. It seemed like Mr. Agni had to go somewhere, since they exchanged goodbyes not long after. He shifted his focus back to Rachel and took a closer look at her wrists. He couldn't help but think that the rope was too much. It shouldn't be necessary for this conversation, right? It'd only upset her and he hated it when she did.

So he kneeled down and began to untie the rope. When he looked up, he noticed that Hyung was eyeing him warily. However, he just stood there by the door, not making any move to stop him.

Just right after he was done with the knot, Rachel stirred awake and familiar yellow eyes found him. She jerked away, screaming, "Wh– what do you want from me!"

Bam let the silence linger. Giving her time to regain her bearing and seek the answer herself.

Her face got a few shades paler as if she had seen a ghost. Or maybe, in a way, she did.

"Rachel," Bam muttered.

Shock flashed in her eyes before it settled to understanding. "Bam?" Rachel's voice was impossibly soft and sweet, yet it sounded so wrong. "Oh Bam, you're alive! I'm so glad."

…Was she though? She pushed him to his supposed death. But her face was a mix of relief and unbelief. Bam didn't know which was the real her anymore.

"Bam, we have to get out of here. I was kidnapped by a bad person. Quick, before he returns."

"You're not going anywhere." An unfamiliar voice joined them as Hyung finally stepped into the room. The lighthouse floating beside him must've acted as a voice changer. His hat was pulled down low underneath his hoodie, shadowing his face from view. 

Rachel didn't seem to notice Grace's presence until then, if the shock on her face was anything to go by.

"Well then, Bam. Go ahead and ask her," Grace encouraged.

It was the first time he had heard Hyung's cold tone; emotionless and distant that sent shivers down his spine. But that thought could wait for later, because currently he finally had the chance to ask a question that had been plaguing him for the past six years.

"Why did you betray me, Rachel?"

Rachel no longer looked at him as sweetly. "What do you mean, Bam? I've never betrayed you."

"That day, you pushed me out of the bubble."

Rachel's eyes watered as she clenched her hand on her chest, "I was trying to save you from the monster attack. But I lost my balance and accidentally pushed you too hard." She looked away guiltily, voice now just above a whisper. "I had a nightmare about it every time I closed my eyes. I'm truly sorry, Bam."

"That's…" Bam was sure he had defeated the monster. Unless Rachel had mistaken some random fish as a threat? It could make sense, but things were still not adding up. "I saw you stand on your feet, at least explain to me why that is possible."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "I think you remember it wrong."

"No! I know what I saw."

"And so am I!"

"Don't lie to me, Rachel." Bam begged. He was trying to find proof to justify her actions, but why did it only prove that Mr. Agni was right about her? About how she faked her disability to stab him in the back and take advantage of their friends. "You're the one who taught me that lying was bad, so are you trying to get me to think you're a bad person?"

"No, Bam–"

"Tell me, Rachel. Why did you try to kill me?" Bam felt his vision start to blur as tears trickled down his cheeks. It just dawned on him that the foul clenching feeling of his heart was the feeling of betrayal, from someone he trusted and looked up to, no less. "What did I do to you?"

Rachel didn't reply right away. But when she spoke, Bam's world crumbled. "The star…I want to shine as bright as it is rumored to be. But when you're around, I was nothing but a shadow because you took all the light. You who are chosen and loved by many, who wouldn't feel envy?" She gave a weak laugh and stood up. "You're right. I've been faking my injury. But this is what it takes to climb the tower for the unchosen. Innocence wouldn't get you this high, so I'm sure you're just as bad as I am."

Bam looked at his hands which had just recently been bathed in the blood of his opponent. He could still feel the stickiness that clung to his skin and he felt the urge to scrub his hands clean like he did the night before. So he was a bad person now? Was he doomed to never have friends again?

Bam caught an angry scowl on Rachel's lips as she walked past Grace and through the door. Grace tried to go after her but Bam quickly reached out and pulled on his hoodie to stop him from leaving. He didn't want to be left alone with her lingering words.

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#So when Ath checked this she said it is too big of an event to be written. thus it's better in comic form #I do think this is important enough for the plot but I don't have the motivation to draw her more than 3 panels #I already gave up doing the third art anyway #But!! At least now we know what actually happened to her...so far #I mean...she originally fated worse than this but I changed my mind #if any of you Rachel fans happen to read this comic. just know that this is the best outcome you can get from me #so excited for the next update though hehehe #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #baam #25th baam #25th bam #the 25th baam #the 25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #koon #khun a.a #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #koonbaam #bamxkhun #rachel tower of god

[oddogoblino]

I don't think I've said it before but despite my absolute adoration for s*n*d*w, I genuinely enjoy just any depictions of Sonic and Shadow that's not just "grrr I hate you an unreasonably high amount". I love when people depict them just getting along in general.

Them having cool down moments where they maybe make fun of each other and quietly bicker about who won their last battle, them just enjoying a carnival or festival and deciding to compete on who can win the most games there, or just smth simple as them just enjoying the same sky together.

And it can be platonic or romantic idrc. Ofc I love the romantic interpretation more noticeably but I just love their more friendly-ish dynamic in general. I'm losing words to describe what I mean but I hope I got my point across.

#oddito ramblinos #no one better say “thats just sonic and knuckles” no fuck you. Sonic clearly just draws in a specific set of people #if you seriously need to make Shadow genuinely hate Sonic just so you can feel theres a difference then no. #ofc theyre different but Shadow is the stars beside Knuckle's moon. Theyre similar beings of the night that bounce off of Sonic's Sun #They're different but theyre from the same side of the coin. They've both suffered great loneliness and have too much responsibility on them #They go about it differently but it doesnt mean im taking Knuckles's thing when i say Shadow enjoys sparring with Sonic too #They spar/play differently- they have fun differently- they express their care differently. At least i imagine it differently #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic #shadow the hedgehog

[rowan-guerrins]

people on tiktok well on all social media sites actually will loudly critique the fact some people (especially those who only watched the movies) “didn’t get the point of the hunger games” and then turn around and say gale is the worst person in the universe and treat him like he’s a monster, and that all these traits are innate characteristics completely isolated from the circumstances in which he lived and the people around him. like girlie i think maybe YOU didn’t get the point here either.

#obviously this isn’t to say you need to or were “supposed to” like gale #there are a lot of good reasons to criticize him. esp wrt his sense of entitlement to katniss. #but he’s not supposed to be a Villain™️ #like he’s a poor traumatized (brown coded) boy whose very valid anger was used to groom him into a perfect soldier. #kind of almost like it’s a critique on the militarization of young boys. esp those who are underprivileged. #which doesn’t excuse his actions & it doesn’t mean you have to like him #but it’s enraging when people act like he is a heartless monster who is unredeemable or whatever. like. oh that’s not…. #bonus points if they babygirlify cato and clove (and marvel and glimmer) and cry about how they’re just kids #+ “they were only the way they are bc of the capitol 🥺”. #like yes it’s a big point that they were kids groomed to be child soldiers because the capitol pressured and “rewarded” career districts #to churn out child soldiers and whatnot. but that. ok. #truly just how do you hold the belief that to an extent excuses them or at least makes them sympathetic— #—but then not extend that empathy to gale. side eye. #esp bc a lot of the stuff is taking potshots at gale to uplift peeta/everlark. #like. uh! okay! #obligatory disclaimer i don’t actually like gale. however i am at my limit on weird and bad and inconsistent takes on him. #yeah he sucks. almost like that’s because he was horrifically oppressed by the captiol + then was groomed to be the ideal soldier by coin. #crazy how that’s the point. #and AGAIN. doesn’t EXCUSE what he does. but it’s important to acknowledge bc it v much contextualizes who and what he is and does. #the hunger games #gale hawthorne #i don’t think i need to tag this in the anti tag but lmk

[risingsunresistance]

i've largely ignored the mythological rituals until very recently bc i never did enough damage to bother trying

got my first drop today :]

#well i got a crown of greed last time but this is the first one i got from fighting #my magic find is. So Low. i need to figure out how to get it a little higher #without spending all the coins i dont have kgjhf #i mean a big one would probably be. having the daedalus axe. im working on it jkghf #chimera 5 divine gift having all my talismans recombed i know there's stuff like that #but im on a limited budget bc money grinding annoys me lol #daedalus axe will probably be my last magic find bonus for a while :P #i could just buy the other stick it's just 10m but i wanted to get at least one of them on my own just for the accomplishment of it #might buy the other one tomorrow :0 #chat #sb

[rohirric-hunter]

I'm actually so concerned for the safety of all the non-Azagath-or-Nakasi members of the Kindred of the Coins, especially Belondor, since he was right there with them when everything went down. But Azagath clearly knows that Kholtekh and Harmelak have turned against him and Rothog seems really close with Harmelak so he's probably incriminated by association. Tathata might not be in hot water with Azagath but we did accidentally-on-purpose set an assassin on her. And come to think of it the PC is kind of indirectly responsible for Azagath realizing that most of the others don't like him too well either. LotRO's masterful writing struck once again, hinting throughout Umbar that most of the Kindred are not actually bad people but only fully explaining everything just in time for the player to realize how royally they've fucked them all over, whoops.

You bet my business in Umbar isn't done, I have to clean up this hot mess I've made. I will feel so guilty if they get hurt because of this.

#lotro #spoilers of umbar #like yeah throughout basically all of umbar the people are like 'the kindred of the coins are the Best' #but i mean idk for me at least the devs didnt even have to write in the doubts. they just naturally occurred #i was like 'okay but there werent many places to go that werent up from your previous situation' #and 'but theyre trying to start a war. they kidnapped a child. what is the song of waves and wind.' #but as various quests in the city proper played out i was like okay there has to be something else going on like #these people are not bad people. theres no way #the one member of the kindred that we knew for sure was a bad person was nakasi #and people didnt even talk about her that much. mostly they talked about tumuldo #which #huh #i mean obviously tumuldo was the more level headed of the two of them #and nakasi was driven by grief and a need for revenge after he died #but like. okay hear me out #did azagath set tumuldo up to be killed #like did he arrange that #or at least send him off to gondor in the hopes that he would be attacked there #because he knew an unhinged vengeful nakasi would be an ally he sorely needed when he unveiled his plan #for that matter how long had he been in contact with them? IDK if harmelak said anything about his history with them #but like. its very possible that he was grooming her for that specific reaction #not the kidnapping a child part. he clearly did not want the child #but the part where she wanted gondor destroyed and was willing to do anything to get it? #like he needed someone who would be okay with umbar going to war immediately after finally kicking all the haradrim out #idk wild theory but very plausible imo

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….

"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"

#paventure posting #polls #choose your own adventure #(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm) #DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate #Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with #The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol #it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and #fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol #I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode #into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says #let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text #so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll #and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh.. #bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol #I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated #or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day #Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options #*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj #ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts #in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be #confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else #but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol #explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol #ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME #but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week #I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!

[designernishiki]

i really wish more prominent characters had visible scars. like. you cant tell me kiryu doesnt have a bajillion of them across his entire body. and id be curious to know which ones from over the course of the games have stuck around particularly visibly compared to the others

#i imagine stab wounds would be a big one #admittedly smallish but. i mean. deep to say the least #oh and acute noticeably deep coin-sized circular ones from where lau ka long tortured him by impaling him with those metal rods #among other things #majima also has ought to have countless scars Especially from his time in the hole but i think thats a given #and at least he has one scar that's. glaringly obvious #rambling

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

#jet set radio #pokepasta #creepypasta #jsr #explorers of death #pokemon #crossover #gore #body horror #blood #ask to tag #long post #jsr eod #also i said ''i didnt assign almost anyone else'' but thats not entirely true. #i did assign dj professor k as wigglytuff. but i decided i needed to draw a line in the sand somewhere #and drawing dj k as eod!wigglytuff is simply too much. some mental images really DONT need to be inflicted on others #i also thought about who would be grovyle and ended up leaning towards combo #i sort of think of him as having protagonist swag about him bc of chapter 2 in teh first game. #also i have a running joke w my sibling about combo being meta-aware bc of a jp-only line he has in future #where he tells roboy he wants to save. #i swear to god i had more reasoning than this but my mind is drawing a blank rn. sad #also i guess this would imply that cube and coin would be celebi and dusknoir but theyre not even in explorers of death so RIP #i did also briefly consider clutch as grovyle bc 1. stealing things lol and 2. joke about him being future-exclusive #and grovyle is FROM DA FUTURE... but frankly clutch does not feel like he could pull off being grovyle. in my opinion. #also i guess sitting here now i suppose it wouldnt even make sense in the context of the eod au cuz everyone but the main trio is og jsr #on that note. i had no idea what to do for gum's design so i chose the most awkward route possible i guess. im sorry gum. #in general gum kinda got the short end of the stick here due to being consistently the Second-in-Command meaning she's shadow #I'M SORRY WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #well at least she's better off than yoyo. me n my sibling just automatically were like ''he's bidoof'' ''yeah he's bidoof'' #also like last note. but. the jet set radio fandom is SEVERELY lacking cliche edgy over the top evil creepypasta versions of the cast

[arcadianico]

it makes so much sense that quackity couldn’t talk to SOPHIA about love without also talking about grief btw. the two are so intertwined in the smp as a whole but especially in qquackity’s story. his love and grief are inextricable from each other, they’re symbiotic

#he refuses to talk about his feelings for wilbur as love. because he knows its not #its attraction yeah but not love. they barely know each other #also i maintain that his desire for wilbur is less about wilbur and more about the role wilbur can fill or should have filled in his life #quackity’s obsession with wilbur is fundamentally tied into his grief for tilín #literally the whole thing is about q thinking wilbur was meant to be his partner and therefore also tilín’s other parent #and that massively colours how q views both wilbur and tallulah #that’s why he’s been so obsessed #his talk about roier and cellbit was cute but really when he was describing love he wasn’t talking about them because so much of what he #said doesn’t apply to spiderbit’s relationship at least yet #(there’s still time) #but there’s a reason he couldn’t help but circle back to tilín #tilín has been q’s biggest motivator for most of the series in one way or another #his relationship with tilín might have been doomed but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love them #he loved them to the point of self destruction #and after that conversation with SOPHIA i think he’s only now picking up the pieces #or even examining them in detail #the grief and love he has towards tilín have been overshadowing him this whole time and he hasn’t dealt with it #idk he’s tried at points but he always falls back on denial and pretending he’s fine #maybe because he feels like letting go of any part of his grief is like letting go of his love for tilín and he doesn’t want to do that #after all they are two sides of the same coin #god this is a ramble anyway #quackity #sophia qsmp #tilín #tilin #qsmp

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

her messages on violence keep being really fucking mixed

#i love how she flips between criticising someone for choosing violence at all to criticising them for not doing it WELL #i feel like she does it relatively often #'what youre gonna shoot us? do you even know how?' #'i hate wars. what do you mean you dont have weapons??' #'oh a couple thousand people died? kind of a pathetic body count dont you think?' #like ghkfjghjkhg #thats not even tomention what she does with tzim sha in the first ep like #it's the opposite side of the coin of how she keeps complimenting people for being bad in clever ways #'well you shouldnt be doing this thing but you ARE doing it well i'lll give you that' #& 'if youre gonna do this thing then at least have some skill jfc' #makes perfect sense that thats the worldview she'd walk out of the doctor falls with but it doesnt stop being funny

[raazberry]

i have so many strong feelings abt kaveh i need hyv to release him from their basement already

#while i do absolutely love haikaveh i'm just #very interested in him as a character because #1. he just like me fr (except i'm not as smart) #2. HES JUST SO INTERESTING i want to study him and his brain under a microscope #from the leaks (like before sumeru release) #he was just so fascinating to me bc he's literally named 'kavi' but he took up architecture #although i'm assuming that kaveh as a name means something else entirely i like to hold on to the idea that he wants to #subvert people's expectations of him #i also love the contrast between him and haitham (in a non shipping way) SO much because they're two sides of the same coin #nahida's voiceline for him may be one of my favourite voicelines in genshin because based on what we've seen of him #(in the current story + haitham story leaks) #he's very emotion-driven and opinionated (at least when it comes to haitham? idk) #and also extremely smart even if he makes mistakes/gets scammed sometimes #like even haitham cannot take that away from him #and just idk goodnight i love kaveh if hyv doesn't release him in the patch after dehya i may have to commit a crime #zzz #kaveh #genshin impact

[nyankoizumi]

Grabs DHMIS tv show by the shoulders and draws blood like that one meme please please please PLEASE let duck have a turn on the self awareness. Let him go insane. Let him see the situation he is in or show us if he knows it and how he copes with it please please i am begging you they're gonna kill my wife if you don't

#dhmis #dhmis meme #dhmis duck #i was gonna add 'and make him gay married' but i want everyone to hear me out not just the Fluffybird believers i failed you uys #dont hug me im scared #duck might be perfectly aware of his situation and decide to not fight against it because he fears that #so thats qhy he gets nervous everytime things get out of script. or at least what HE thinks is the script #because if he really REALLY knew he wouldn't worry about things like yellow guy changing because it happens everytime electracey shows up #but if he thinks he KNOWS whats supposed to happen but he actually doesn't then #i dont know if im making sense but i thimk you know what i mean #point is i want duck having a repeat of episode 5 of the webseries #....... preferably without dying actually but #actually the whole duck going along the show for safety in obedience can also fit with the theory that lamp already told us the plot #since he /is/ the one that gets the pound after the jobs episode #maybe he thinks whatever is in charge here will reward him for playing along #also why he's not very helpful when the others are trying to break the cycle #and you can take the fact that the coin fucking cut his eye open as a metaphor for whatever #god i really hope duck doesnt die but i have zero hopes on my man im so sorry

[sillyfreakx3]

hmm... Kind of specific but a transID for dark forest warriors from warrior cats would be neat...

#Lol I blame me projecting onto lionblaze for that #And then making the dark forest an allegory for my life #And then realising that according to my allegory that I created i would be evil in the warrior cats universe ;_; #Which is kind of funny #But also means i should reflect on my life choices #Anyhow that's why i have a coping OC who's exactly me using my dark forest allegory #She's probably a stel or something tbh #Also i might use an alterhuman term instead if I find one that suits my feelings about fictional cat hell #Since this isn't inherently a transID thing #Sorry to anyone reading this who hasn't read up to at least arc 3 of warrior cats #transid #transx #pro transid #radqueers please interact #transid please interact #rq safe #rq 🌈🍓 #radqueer #pro rq 🌈🍓 #Idk i might coin a term one day if it hasn't already been coined :3

[solidandsound]

RAADS-R score: 65, exactly matching the threshold for 'likely autistic' Autism Spectrum Quotient score: 28, two points above the threshold for 'might be autistic' CAT-Q score: 96, four points below the threshold score, BUT my masking score specifically is 43, which is quite high Aspie Quiz score: 101/200, indicating a 53% chance of being neurodivergent Me: so am I autistic? Every test on the internet: big shrug

#been thinking about this a bit since i watched Everything's Gonna Be Okay #i did take the raads before and got the same score so that's consistent at least #the cat is confusing because neurotypical males actually have a higher average masking score than nd males #but even then my masking score is very high so idk what that means #anyway it's not exactly a high stakes question for me #but it would explain some things #personal #it is funny that the aspie quiz gives a percentage probability and it's almost literally a coin flip

[loadsofcats]

Hate hate hate digitalisation hate only being able to pay with credit cards hate touchscreens instead of people hate cashierless shops hate how ai is causing less jobs and less privacy and hate generated art and generated stories and aaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhh

#you cant even pay for parking with coins #your phone has GOT to have everything and you always need to be reachable and marketable #not to sound like a conspiracy theorist or an avatar of the web but you are being “controlled” #i feel like most of the time it isn’t even intentional #but if you pay with cash and the majority of people just pay with credit cards cash is eventually gonna go out of use #this is just an example i have nothing against people who prefer credit cards #i don’t like ai but simply because i think people are not to be trusted with it #i mean come on touchscreens are such a “new” thing we’re still getting used to themsomewhere #we are going too fast for this #and no sometimes you don’t need to have everything at hand’s reach #the world needs to chill (literally and metaphorically; excuse the pun) #i just feel like everything is pushing us towards developing and developing and developing but i feel like that’s not what we need #not constantly at least #i know development would get us somewhere but there is nothing wrong in slowing down a bit #development in medicine is good and i’m not counting it in here but rather #the “fake” as one might call it development when #everyone goes “oh you MUST have this new thing how did you even live without it” #capitalistic development seems like a good description #we will all die in the end #i will be worm food one day. We all will #what we don’t accomplish someone else will #they can just… slow down a little #i mean this in the way that it seems like we’re being sold the image that everyone needs to always have everything and it must be RIGHT NOW #people have forgotten how to wait. Me unfortunately and disappointedly included #anyway #vent #also rant in tags #it talks