#i mean i most certainly am NOT

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[gingerdunbroch]

i wish there were more multi chapter tenrose reunion fics that involve not only rose, martha, and donna becoming besties but also rose and donna teaming up to give ten a well-deserved dressing down about how he treated martha

i feel like esp in a lot of older fics that have martha and rose interacting, martha ends up being some sort of antagonist and that makes me so sad bc i think they would have been great friends.

#i am most certainly a doctorxrose shipper #but that does not mean i don’t love martha #justice for martha jones #she deserved better #doctor who rambles #tenth doctor #rose tyler #martha jones #donna noble #more fics with martha and rose being friends pretty please

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[camellcat]

I'm rewatching s1 again and I think it's so fucking funny how much every other doctor except nine absolutely hates guns. nine is SO excited to shoot that goddamn dalek. he is READY he is DOWN he is soooo for it. he points a gun at rose tyler and doesn't even think about it until she scolds him for it.

and then in bad wolf where he's incredibly comfortable about holding that big ass blaster. never gets onto jack about parading around with them either. just does not bat an eye. in fact he is threatening people with it, even if it is a farce.

the others would NEVER lol

#admittedly I haven't watched thirteen yet but I am assuming she's the same as the rest #and I know about the end of time specials shush I know I watched them #but ten does not have the same casualness. like. at all. in the slightest #I mean it's not that nine LIKES guns. that's not what I'm saying #it's just his attitude and how he treats them compared to every regeneration after him #plus he's so unbothered by having guns pointed at him as well #which I know most aren't too bothered either but he is completely uncaring. finds it a little amusing even #maybe I'm misremembering the rest a little bit since s1 is the only one I've come back to over and over again #but I think this is pretty accurate #and I UNDERSTAND why his attitude is different but I still think it's funny #ninth doctor #doctor who #so I uh just now remembered this but twelve LITERALLY shot a guy. so. maybe HE would #big differences there I suppose with twelve are into the dalek and how he treats danny and other examples I'm sure I forgot #so I still don't think I'm wrong but yeah twelve certainly bends it a bit

[majorshatterandhare]

Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.

#the mechanisms #stranger #ttbt2 #i knew what i was doing when i put it on but also i am working on an addtion to my brian-jonny foils post so i was thinking about brian #its always sad brian hours #i cant really read that song separate from him anymore. honestly not sure i ever could but. its just so unconnected from anything else.- #actaea and lyssa is pretty disconnected. but its still almost certainly on the city. alice is pretty disconnected but its a result of- #king cole’s war. the most disconnected songs are redeath. the ignominious demise of dr pilchard. drop dead. hereward the wake. and stranger- #(and frankenstein but i consider that its own thing). and redeath and drop dead are my least favorite mechs songs.dr pilchard i didnt- #really care for for quite a while. stranger has so few words in it. it’s my favorite song. but the story is minimal fron the song (ie w/o- #knowing the crane wife story) so making a story around it sort of makes sense? im having a hard time with the words here. like we expect a- #story. cause that’s what the mechs do. and stranger has a story. it just doesnt have context and so creatong that context for ourselves is- #understandable. to be expected even. hope that makes sense #side note: i think it would make sense for hereward to have been from the same place (system I guess) as the people that made- #fort galfridian. i mean hereward was more of a real person than arthur (since there was no one person arthur was based on. like thats a- #whole thing) and hereward was anglo-dutch. so it makes sense hed be related to that story somehow #its just a theory. obviously. theres nothing in the songs connecting the too as far as im aware. #OH also achilles pointed out to me the anti-amatonormative/aromantic reading of stranger and i liked that a lot #hereward was anglo-danish. not anglo-dutch. sorry danish and dutch people

[adelaidedrubman]

#to clarify for anyone unfamiliar with the us legal system bc the game itself gets it wrong: law licenses are state by state #and montana and georgia specifically have different bar exams #and multiple characters refer to him being a lawyer in the past tense. #which i think could allowably mean ‘‘before the reaping’’ or that it’s no longer his *primary* occupation #but i think ‘‘before he came to hope county’’ is more straightforward #and while i certainly think he was de facto operating as legal counsel for the cult and characters mention him doing so #most of what he was doing wasn’t anything that would require he actually be a lawyer #like he was just doing bribes and threats and negotiations any old guy could do that. #i don’t think his ass ever stood up in a court of law in montana and entered his appearance on a case. #and there would be several reasons he wouldn’t want to draw the heat of submitting to a fresh character and fitness exam to be admitted #(i do not acknowledge the dlc as canon but i begrudgingly admit it supports my argument here) #anyways. #this could be a fandom settled discussion i just missed. but people (including myself) often refer to him as a lawyer in present tense #so i am curious how many of us mean that as in literally licensed in montana #john seed #only polite discourse please

[nicolos]

help!!! i have just discovered that wookieepedia lists day-lengths and year-lengths for a bunch of planets and that alderaan and tatooine are, of course, included. and that these day lengths and year lengths vary rather wildly from the galactic standard (aka 24 hrs / 365 days).

tatooine has a really long day - 34 hours. they have 2 suns. nights are short. it sounds like pure hell, but it makes sense. it’s also close to its suns and makes a full revolution every 304 days. checks out.

so. alderaan has a rly short day, only 18 hours. sure, i buy it. it’s got a standard year - 364 days. fine.

except the thing is that because of the way years are measured on those planets, despite luke and leia having been born literal minutes apart and being 19 standard years of age... leia is considered 25 years old on alderaan... and luke is... on tatooine... 16..................

#star wars #luke skywalker #leia organa #i am just imagining how that went #at some point in the rebel base #'oh how old are you' 'im 16' 'oh wow that's young to be a rebel pilot' 'how old are you your highness?' '25' #and then they discover that they are TWINS. imagine??? #han vc you're almost 10 years apart #luke and leia: well we WERE both born right before empire day ? #obviously they are still the same age but age is relative to society. presumably leia has passed through more milestones than luke has #anyway i have so many questions about how this even works lmao. do u just count your age in standard years or does everyone just have 2 ages #oh man this means in owk the show era leia is like 13 and luke is 8 #though leia is most certainly not acting 13 #8yo luke i buy though. baby boy. baby #jui speaks

[privatejoker]

i think sometimes people (mgs fans) read (certain) war novels watch (certain) films and see the character conventions of like hypermasculine bleak funny tough guy and take it too seriously lend it too much credibility when working on their own personal characterizations if you make any of these characters act like rambo i am blowing up a small town

#i mean certainly . definitely on the outside. #the other hand might be. like. anime conventions of extremely tormented antihero #i am the most evil unfeeling person alive i am a living weapon #obviously also something present in mgs #but #like #its more fun when you dont do that #<3 for me #and i experience. #objective reality #okay

[orchideae]

... I'm really proud to be writing a Hydro vision holder.

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. #[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. #[ yes. this is a psa. 100% a psa. ] #[ i never thought i'd say this but-- i just am in love. ] #[ but also technically-- i need to do furina's sq still but; technically this means no more hydro visions will be given out? ] #[ neuv isn't tied to celestia; so technically? ]

[ghost-t-cryptids]

HELL YEAH! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!!

#posca pens #traditional art #painting #my art #i didnt mean for it to be pan pride coloured but hey...im am most certainly not complaining

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #3]

That first time Aziraphale visited Crowley's flat (aka: The day Aziraphale met his other children-in-law: Crowley's plants 🌿)

[Future me after ending writing this bit: STOP RIGHT HERE! I didn't expect it to end up being a tad smutty rather than cute but it did so if you don't want to read that: ABHORT MISSION! NOW!]

Crowley: *miracles the door of his flat to open by snapping his fingers**does a reverence* After you, Angel.

Aziraphale: *a little shy* Oh, er, thank you. *already looks everywhere**echoing voice* It is... uhhh... very... rocky. What am I hearing?

[Okay, I might need to precise a thing or two here: in my mind, Crowley's flat somewhat looks like a fancy/modern vivarium, with "human"/entity furniture, natural rock walls, a river flowing all over it and, of course, the humidity that should go with it. Basically, imagine the show's flat with more natural elements... yes, a Despicable me/The Incredibles' villain apartment, exactly!]

Crowley: *enters as well**merely trips for some reason**looks at Aziraphale to make sure he didn't notice**he didn't**acts cool* Oh, that would be the river. And what does "rocky" mean, exactly?

Aziraphale: *looks at him* Wait. You have a river in your flat?

Crowley: *holds himself from sighing* Yeah. I have a river in my flat. Don't make it weird.

Aziraphale: *looks around to find the river's "source"**still cannot believe it* You miracled a river in your flat.

Crowley: *starts being annoyed* Yes, Angel, I miracled a river in my flat. Can we move on or do I need to miracle a lake in the living room to make you talk about something remotely worth speaking about?

Aziraphale: *has started to follow the river to the next room being... Crowley's office, probably?* Annnd you've never had... paperwork... for that?

Crowley: *is closer than Aziraphale expected**watches him startle**super brief inquisitious look* No water bill, so Hell's accountants are pretty pleased, actually. *removes his jacket and throws it on his office chair**same goes for his glasses that finds their way to the nearest plant*

Aziraphale: Oh, o... allright. *shy smile*

Crowley: And are you?

Aziraphale: Hum?

Crowley: Allright.

Aziraphale: *takes a long time to contemplate the question**also, Crowley stays closer to him than usual* Well, we saved the World...

Crowley: Yep, classic Sunday.

Aziraphale: *sad brows*... And my Bookshop has burned down.

Crowley: I know. Sorry it happened, Angel. My Bentley has burned down as well.

Aziraphale: *feels suddenly so guilty* Oh, yes... Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't quite found the occasion to-

Crowley: We can still pop into places until I find a way to repair her. We should be fine.

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, you're right. But, until then, I think we should... um... lay low for a while?

Crowley: Lay low... here?

Aziraphale: Y-yes? *blushes**scared look* I-I mean, only if, uh, if that is okay for you, of course, I-I didn't mean to impo-

Crowley: Angel, I've spent more hours that we could ever count in your Bookshop, it's only fair.

Aziraphale: *little smile* O-okay.

Crowley: *taps his shoulder in a friendly-yet-somewhat-awkward way*

Both: *echange a weird look*

Crowley: Don't think too much about it. *is, himself, thinking too much about it*

Aziraphale: *clears his throat* So, hum... can you... give me... a tour? *tries to smile normally**fails?*

Crowley: Oh, sure thing. Follow me. *one of his arms automatically slides behind one of Aziraphale's shoulders and gently drags him elsewhere*

Aziraphale: *does not remember how to walk properly for a second**looks at Crowley* Ah, sorry.

Crowley: *confused* Nevermind. So. We just leave the office and... Where do you want to go? Left? Right?

Aziraphale: *even more confused* I don't know, hum... Left? *shrugs his shoulders in a shy way*

Crowley: *holds himself from thinking how cute it is for approximately 0.2 miliseconds**smiles more genuinely* Left it is, come on. *Takes Aziraphale's hand without warning*

Aziraphale: Cro-

Crowley: *releases Aziraphale hand as if nothing happened except the fact he felt Aziraphale's heart beating so fast he could feel it at the end of his Angel's figertips**clears his throat* These are... My biggest pride. *looks at his plants with dad eyes**hands on his hips*

Aziraphale: *is looking for a mirror to check if his blushing is obvious or super obvious**cannot find one**looks at the plants* Oh, Crowley, they are most lovely!

[One of the plants shows its gratitude by making a red flower bloom right in front of Aziraphale]

Aziraphale: *approaches it**looks at Crowley* Did you do that?

Crowley: *raising an eyebrow* I thought you did. *suddenly looks at his plants with utmost severity*

[The plants starts shaking]

Aziraphale: *what-now face*

Crowley: *angry AF**threatening mode status: hella activated* So, you're telling me you could grow flowers... THE... ENTIRE... TIME?!

Aziraphale: Cr-Crowley, stop, you're scaring them!

Crowley: *gritted teeth* Apparently, I didn't scare them ENOUGH. *theatrical gestures* What did I tell you all? GROW BETTER! Is that so difficult to understand? Angel! I'm talking to you! IS IT?

Aziraphale: *does movements but eventually stops every single one of them right in the middle* I...

Crowley: *approaches Aziraphale*

Aziraphale: *recoils*

Crowley: *catches Aziraphale's arm and pulls him closer**whispers* Angel, I need you to back me up on this.

Aziraphale: *torn between blushing and being intimidated**as always, ends up doing both**whispers back**kinda panicking* I do not know what you expect me to do, Crowley!

Crowley: *tries not to focus on the fact their temples are touching*Just follow my lead.

Aziraphale: *removes himself from the temple-to-temple situation**unsure but pretends to have 100% understood* O-okay. *awkward thumbs up*

Crowley: *out loud**starts pacing* I am so, SO disappointed in you lot. *points at Aziraphale* And he is disappointed in you, too!

Aziraphale: *says nothing*

Crowley: *looks back at Aziraphale* Angel.

Aziraphale: Oh! Yes! I... I am... very, um... *tries to frown his eyebrows in a threatening way* displeased by your... attitude!

Crowley: Exactly! And you don't know me when I'm disappointed he is disappointed. *marks a pause trying to remember something important**remembers* This is Aziraphale, by the way.

Aziraphale: *waves in New Girl arriving in High School in the middle of the school year* Hello?

Crowley: And if HE is disappointed, oh, I swear to you, come Hell or High Water, I will make anything responsible REGRET IT 'til the end of their days.

Aziraphale: There's no need to be- *catches Crowley's threatening look starting to turn at him and him only**too loud* HE IS A DEMON, YOU SEE? He knows things I could never even imagine!

Crowley: Exactly! And now, time to make an example out of one of you! *aims for a smaller plant and lively grabs it*

Aziraphale: *follows him with little stressed steps* Are you sure about that, Crowley?

Crowley: *high-pitched voice**still theatrical* DO YOU HEAR THAT?! How sweet of him, but you know me and how much I am not. Swee-t. *gets out of the plant room**yells from afar* THIS IS FOR HIDING THINGS FROM ME, IT'S GOING TO BE SO PAINFULL!

Aziraphale: *still following but looking everywhere to not hit a wall or something* C-Crowley, can we talk about this?

Crowley: *do not pay attention to him* YOU'RE GONNA HEAR THINGS YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD IN YOUR WILDEST NIGHTMARES!

[The little plant shakes like crazy in Crowley's hand]

Aziraphale: *is an Angel after all**unsure but tries to take the plant out of Crowley's hands*

Crowley: *higher-pitched, scandalized voice* Wot the Hell are you doing?! *surprised yet swiftly turns to avoid him*

Aziraphale: *almost falls to the floor*

Crowley: *catches him by a bit of his almost-two-centuries-old jacket, avoiding Aziraphale's face to hit the floor 0.5 seconds before impact**still holds the little plant in his other hand*

Aziraphale: *blinks way too much looking at the cold floor* Cro-Crowley!

Crowley: Damn you, Angel! *pulls him back up**reproachful voice*

Aziraphale: I am... SO sorry... I just...

Crowley: Why did you do that?!

Aziraphale: I just... I don't...

Crowley: *grunts**quickly walks away*

Aziraphale: *follows him clumzily until, oh, that's the kitchen*

Crowley: *opens the window*

Aziraphale: *expects him to dramatically throw the plant away*

Crowley: *puts the plant next to a dozen others on the balcony*

Aziraphale: You-

Crowley: *puts a finger on Aziraphale's lips* Shhhh.

Aziraphale: *looks at Crowley's finger**blushes*

Crowley: *yells back**looks for something in a random cupboard* OOOKAY, TIME FOR THE DOUBLE CHAINSAW TREATMENT! *activates the machines*

Aziraphale: *recoils, a hand on his lips*

Crowley: *gives him a "help me here" look*

Aziraphale: *awkward winking**dramatic ethereal being* OH NO, CROWLEY, DON'T DO THIS! I'M BEGGING YOU!

Crowley: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET, ANGEL! *evil laugh*

Aziraphale: C-CROWLEY, NO, PLEASE DO NOT THROW THIS PLANT AWAY!

Crowley: *takes an empty flower pot**throws it out of the window*

[Noises of a car accident down there]

Aziraphale: *out of his role* Crowley!

Crowley: *shrugs his shoulders**uncertain**checks out* Uh, it's... nothing, Angel!

Aziraphale: *pushes him away without thinking* I don't believe y- CROWLEY!

[Evident scene of two cars having collided because of one having its windshild abruptly crushed by a random flower pot happening]

Crowley: *awkward smile* Well... We saved the world, so... Two cars, I mean, *little misplaced laugh* It's not... that serious, right?

Aziraphale: *points at the exterior**severe out of nowhere* Repair this! Now!

Crowley: *astonished* You... wait a se- sure. *reverses time to avoid a silly car accident**the flower pot has vanished though**hand on a hip**ready to have his revenge* Satisfied?

Aziraphale: *feels the balance shifting between the two of them again**knows he is in trouble**recoils* I-I didn't mean to... Y-you know... say it like that, I...

Crowley: *walks towards him in a snakey way* Oh, really? Because, from where I stand, it feels like you just gave me an order, Angel.

Aziraphale: *not-so-reassured, high-pitched voice* Nooo, of course not, I-I would nev- *bumps into a statue representing... two angels wrestling?!**cannot go further**looks at Crowley, alarmed* Well, I mean, I might have- but you- *weird worried noise* uhhh...

Crowley: *enjoys this way too much**gets closer* Do you really need me to explain how this is supposed to work, Angel?

Aziraphale: *Quirinus Quirrel's laugh* I-I-I... I really didn't mean to- *gasps*

Crowley: *has just taken Aziraphale by the back of his neck**smirks* Of course not, but you still did, and I wonder... *draws him closer until their noses touch**lower his voice* How do you intend to make amends to me, Angel?

Aziraphale: *tries to get away**reminds himself of the statue - how weird of a decorating choice is that?**looks at Crowley intensely* I-I... have... no idea, I...

Crowley: *gets even closer to the point they can only feel each other's breaths now* Hum? Yes? Does not sound like the beginning of an apology I'm expecting, Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: *never heard his name being said like that**heart racing**eye flicker*

[They exchange a rather ineffable gaze.]

Crowley: *smirks again**puts his lips on his Angel's and talks on them* This is your last chance to stop this before I lose my mind.

Aziraphale: Y-you... *gasps like a shojo character**impressed eyes**weird arm movements**almost inaudible little yell* Aaahhh...

Crowley: *intense gaze**whispers* Don't. Panic. You knew what would happen before stepping a foot in here, right?

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes for a second**tries to gather some courage**looks back at Crowley**mumbles* Yes... yes, I did.

Crowley: Finally. *tightens his grip on Aziraphale's neck and presses his lips on his*

Aziraphale: *opens widly his eyes for a second before closing them too hard**indulges with abandon**invites Crowley to press harder by doing it himself*

Crowley: *grabs Aziraphale's hair**time for some tongue action*

Aziraphale: *moans in unholy**grabs Crowley's scarf to pull him closer if that is even possible*

God: And it was possible, obviously! Look at them, Lucy! Look! Satan: How many times have you replayed that moment, exactly? God: *defensive* Nearly two hundred! In other words, nothing! *laughs in Naughty Almighty* Satan: *before leaving* You're gonna owe my lot's channel a crazy, crazy fee this month. God: AND I REGRET NOTHING!

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

#Cute Omens #(Not so) Cute Omens #Ineffable Husbands #Good Omens #Good Omens S1 #Good Omens fanfiction #Good Omens fanfic #Good Omens minific #Aziracrow #Aziraphale #Crowley #Yes #Cute can also mean kinda smutty now #I've said it once and I'll say it again God is Aziracrow's very first shipper #Pretty sure Ineffable-Husbands-Hellish-Channel is the most popular ever #I might need to find a proper name to it #I've went bananas #Help my hyperfixation gets out of control #Have you ever searched Let's-pretend-to-kill-plants-foreplay on Google? Because I certainly haven't #Also too many hashtags I am such an old Millenial it hurts

[munamania]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay! #and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

[shivunin]

A letter in an unopened envelope propped on the kitchen counter in a cottage near Amaranthine. The surrounding countertop is covered in a light layer of dust.

Fenris, 

To begin with, don’t be angry with me. I know: that is not an auspicious way to begin a letter.

I’ll send a version of this to the address you left, but I can’t be certain that these letters are reaching you. I haven’t heard from you in months, and well I don’t it’s not that I don’t 

I trust that you can take care of yourself. I trust that you are safe and well, wherever in Tevinter you’ve gone. I hope you can extend me the same trust now. I’ve had a letter from Carver and I need to go. The man who recruited him, Stroud, has information regarding some issue in the ranks. I’ve sent Aveline after Carver to get him clear of it, but you know I won’t be able to stay here until things are resolved. 

I know I promised you I would stay put. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie. What you’re doing is important and I won’t interrupt; I can’t wait for you to come back and I won’t call you away. I’m afraid a letter is the best I can manage at the moment, and it’s a paltry thing to trust one’s heart to flimsy paper. 

You have the whole of my heart. My leaving does not change this. Please, take care of it as best you can until we find each other again.

I’ve sent Miser to stay with Merrill for a bit while I’m gone, as I am not certain I want to take him with me to the Deep Roads, in case that is where we’re headed. I’ve also asked the young lady with the sheep to mind the garden for me as best she can, but I’ve warned her about the enchantments on the house. If anyone is trapped in the yard, do please try to help them get free. 

I am certain I will be back before you can even find this letter. I hope it is so. If not—I will make it up to you, I swear it. 

Yours, 

Maria 

P.S. Nothing is going to happen, but you should know anyway: Varric knows where the will and other documents are. Nothing is going to happen. Please, take care of yourself.

(for the prompt "A letter from your OC to their love interest" from this list for @scribbledquillz)

#maria hawke #fenhawke #prompt response #codex prompt response #my writing #hawke headed to inquisition alas #maria: nothing is going to happen! #fenris: finds this letter half a year after it's dated and the house has clearly not been touched in all that time #i am most certainly going to be writing all the letters he wrote her too at some point if only for the pain...but unfortunately #that means i need to read all the tevinter comics for him #or like an actual summary from somewhere #shivunin scrivening

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

i think one of the funniest things i can do is say shit like "a bass guitar only has four strings, how hard can it be?" to justify not looking up a single tutorial ever and when someone counters this with a classic "a violin also has only four strings and is hard as fuck" i can go "right you are, but i do already know how to play a violin and that's about as complicated as it gets, so how hard can it be?"

#i mean there are A Few instruments that are just as or more complicated than a violin #but not many and the bass guitar is certainly not one of them #i think im so funny for this #like genuinely my thought process was 'its just four strings and i dont even need to hold a bow this is snickerdoodles' #and you know what. i think i'm right actually #give me a hastily written punk song and a beat and we'll figure out a base melody together to add and i can most likely just. Play That #like that would work. i am confident in my bass skills for this and i have held one in my hands Once #the hardest part is really gripping the strings. that's still painful. and also the bass i'm using is very much not mine and Too Big #not that there's much variety in this case but still #but seriously give me some more practice i can play #no need for tutorials #a biscuit's rambles

[panevanbuckley]

it's times like these when i thank the gods for all the open tabs of half-read fics that my phone seems to hoard

#ao3 #it can't be down! what am i gonna read instead of sleeping??! #(by 'phone' i definitely absolutely most certainly do not mean me just simply getting distracted by new fics like a dog seeing a squirrel)

[troublcmakcrs]

//wraps thomas tucker up in my arms. thank you for being normal

#misc :: ( ooc ) #//I AM IGNORING THOMAS IN THE GAMES #//I DON'T SEE HIM #//character assassination 💔 #//i love thomas soooo much tho #//emotionally constipated conservative republican man who is doING HIS GODDAMN BEST #//he obviously cares about his children #//and is there for them when it counts #//even if it takes him a second to open up #//he's one of the best parents in sp tbh #//he is a lil bit Manly Man but very loving and certainly not abusive by any means #//i feel like the sp fandom is unduely mean to a lot of parents in the show #//like the tweaks fucking deserve all the shit they get #//but a lot of people will call parents abusive when they're just... kind of strict #//ok children should have rules; idk what to tell you #//i can feeeeel thomas getting shit through the cosmos just for being a conservative redneck #//he's actually so good #//yes craig does inherent some of his problems with addressing emotions #//but for the most part craig's family is SO good to him and i will not hear any tucker slander