#i mean i'd be touching it too

[andy-clutterbuck]

#H A N D S ?? #H A N D S #Andrew Lincoln #* #andygifs #i guess this just turned into his touching his face in 6 gifs #whoops #art touching art really #i mean i'd be touching it too #i love man hands #lips brought to you by Mattel #bless all the lines on your face they're beautiful and sacred #shoutout to nigel and laura for giving their son his face #one day your lips will not make me want to bust through a wall like the koolaid man #but today is not that day #also his arm hair but i'm not gonna be that weird right now

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

#detective conan #case closed #amv #my amvs #eye strain #heiji hattori #harley hartwell #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #funimation english dub script #video #happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'! #while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?) #it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real #it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺 #and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up' #but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project #it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster! #which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results! #to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio #video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds #but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now #but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!) #i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten #and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it! #thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333 #like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3 #but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522 #and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol #i'm sorry i've been so absent lately! i hope to be more active now... and there are 2 completely done amvs that i'm just waiting to post...

[lookninjas]

Was thinking about the whole “Elon’s playing three-dimensional chess!” argument that gets bandied about, and genuinely, even if he was, I fail to see how it helps him.  He’s in a standard, ordinary, two-dimensional chess tournament.  Those are the rules that apply, and those are the rules the judges will be enforcing.  Elon can sit and argue that in three-dimensional chess, his bishop can teleport, no really! until he’s blue in the face.  In two-dimensional chess, if you try to teleport your bishop, you will look like an idiot and then lose.  Which is exactly what he’s doing.

#elon musk #twitter #i mean i can make up new rules and call it twelve-dimensional chess and claim no one can touch me at it too #if i go up against a group of people playing actual chess i will lose in twelve seconds and probably be mocked as i slouch out #and you know i'd pretty much deserve it #the real question is will i get trolls from this or are there none left on tumblr #well i guess i'll find out

[sisterdivinium]

Finding "the meaning" to a show that could have had up to five or seven seasons but was cancelled after the second is somewhat like trying to understand a novel composed of seventy chapters by having read only twenty — there is a whole wealth of information which we do not possess that could alter our reading of any given element or of the entire thing in itself.

Still, there are always patterns that weave a story into a cohesive unit and they can help us to better grope in darkness towards comprehension. One such pattern in Warrior Nun appears to be how the consequences to mistakes, "sins" or evil deeds committed by characters manifest.

Basic storytelling usually requires characters to act on something so that complications or resolutions may arise from their choices and move the plot forwards. In Warrior Nun, many of these actions are quite tragic in nature: Suzanne's arrogance and pride lead to the death of her Mother Superion; Vincent's allegiance to the higher power he believed Adriel to be inspired him to kill Shannon; Ava's flight from the Cat's Cradle ends up damning Lilith as she is mortally wounded and taken away by a tarask... All of these events have negative outcomes and heavy repercussions on all characters directly or indirectly involved. Something changes permanently because of them, be it in the world around them or within the characters themselves.

And yet, it would seem that all of these dark deeds not only move the story forwards but might also have overall positive results. We would have had no protagonist without Ava — and she would arguably never have received the halo to begin with had she not been murdered. What's more, on a personal scale, the horrifying crime she suffers is, in the end, the very thing that allows her a second chance in life, a new life.

An act of outside evil permits Ava to grow and develop, shows her a path she would not otherwise have found. Without her own season in some sort of hell, Lilith would not have been able to advance towards other ways of being and understanding beyond her very strict limitations. Vincent and Suzanne would not have embarked on their own journeys of enlightenment without having caused the pain they are responsible for.

Beatrice might have been paying for someone else's mistakes, but she, too, is given the chance to grow into herself through it. The afflictions that torment these characters advance the overall plot, but they also advance them, as individuals, as long as they are willing to learn and keep going despite the calamities large and small that they are faced with. Beatrice keeps going after parental rejection, Mary keeps going after losing Shannon, Jillian keeps going after losing her son (in part through her own actions, adding insult to injury)... Trouble and the adaptation that follows it, if one is open enough to learn from the experience, motivates the characters, propels them forward, teaches them.

The problem of evil has occupied the minds of many a thinker throughout the ages, given how the very existence of it, evil, might call into question that of God (a good, omniscient, omnipotent one, anyway). A common way of justifying suffering (and also God), then, is by claiming, as Saint Augustine, that "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist".

Now, it would be rather ridiculous to say of Warrior Nun that it follows in Leibniz's footsteps, also because this philosopher, expanding on the augustinian concept, attempted to defend the goodness of a real God with his "best of all possible worlds" while all we have is... Well, whatever/whoever Reya is.

But there seems to be an inclination towards some sort of optimism as a worldview nonetheless.

Betrayals reveal truth and grant knowledge (Vincent's culminates with the coming of Adriel, which allows us to know of the threat of a "Holy War" and thus prepare for it; Kristian's gives Jillian much needed insight, William's lights up the fuse for the fight to be taken more seriously...), crimes committed willingly or not open the way for Ava (Suzanne's killing of her Mother Superion causes the loss of the halo, which is transferred to Shannon, whose death opens the gates for Ava to walk through after being herself murdered by sister Frances)... The magnitude of these positive outcomes is perhaps not "balanced" when compared to the evil that brings them about, but there is still something to take out of the catastrophe.

However tragic the tones of a given event, the show itself appears to shun the predetermination that makes tragedy as a genre; if everything is connected, here it at least appears to not necessarily drag everyone into their horrible dooms.

What's more is that this lurking "optimism" matches really well with our own protagonist's personality.

And it makes perfect sense that Ava would do the best she could with whatever she is given.

Life for her, in the conditions she experienced after the accident, would have been unbearable without some sort of positive outlook on life. However deadpan, the joking and the "obscene gestures" and whatever other forms of goofing around beside Diego are a way of turning a portion of the situation in her own favour. Proverbial eggs have, after all, already been broken right and left — might as well make an omelette of whatever remains.

Humour is just another way of looking at the bright side of something, or, at the every least, of mitigating the utter horror it might bring. If the show allows for moments of lightness, if it lets us laugh, if it takes us through a perilous voyage which still bears ripe, succulent fruit instead of the rot of pessimism and its necessary contempt for humanity, it is because Ava herself sees things in this way. It isn't gratuitous or naïve in this case, but a true survival strategy, especially as it is confronted with the morbidity of Catholicism.

Here is a religion that soothes its faithful with the promise of reward in the afterlife — how else does one charge into battle against the unknown, risking one's own death along with that of one's sisters, without the balm of believing that we shall all meet again eventually, "in this life or the next"? How else does one come to terms with the ugliness and the pain of this existence if not by looking forward to a paradise perfect enough to make all trials and tribulations here worth it?

True nihilism would have annihilated Ava. Her present perspective is what avoided the abyss.

And there is nothing Panglossian to her attitude or what the show might imply by giving us her view on things. This isn't about "the best of all possible worlds", but of making the best of whatever situation we're in, of taking what we have and doing something with it, something good, something of ourselves. It isn't God making good out of evil, but our choices.

Killing innocent people and feeling no remorse will never be the best someone can aspire to do. Sister Frances, cardinal William, Adriel all learn this the hard way.

Those who do their best find that, somehow, they can move on from whatever it was that paralysed them. Ava, most of all, knows what it is to be stuck, frozen in place; she can never be the character who refuses to grow, even through pain, lest she condemns her spirit to the same fate her body is all too familiarised with. Those around her wise enough to let themselves be touched by her, by the dynamic power she carries, walk forth with her and live.

It says very little about "God" that Warrior Nun should adopt its heroine's views and seem "optimistic" as it progresses — but it speaks volumes about the values it presents for pondering, of the inspiration its protagonists provide, and of the multiple reasons why this is a story unlike most others.

#warrior nun #ava silva #you know it's actually very funny to type this as someone who is very schopenhaurian with hints of nietzsche #but i AM doing the best i can too :) #again i will reiterate that i don't think this apparent optimism has anything to do with the classic theodicy #if anything i see it more as a cry in favour of antitheism -- this is YOUR life fuck god #life is shitty so carve out your own makeshift paradise out of the wreck you are given #and don't make things harder for anyone else in the process if you can avoid it #(but that might just be the luciferian in me speaking lol) #anywho this post is a translation of one i wrote not too long ago in cryptic english and a ton of tags #so if it seems familiar that's why #also i do find it rather telling that whenever i try to delve into how the show structures things i talk about ava #i don't set out to analyse her -- but in analysing the show i must analyse her as well if by the edges #which again points to how finely woven she is to the fabric of the entire thing #remember how i said ava is a representation of free will? #well this whole bringing good out of evil thing also touches upon it #saint augustine maintains that it is precisely free will that allows us to do it -- to choose good #of course he means it in a sense of being free to pursue god rather than evil but you see the parallel still works #(this is the post i mentioned in the last reblog. figured i'd go ahead and throw it in the wild since there are more brewing) #analysis and similar #exercises in observation

[ruelpsen]

having a somewhat shitty evening which means it's time to think about my fave burping for me so I don't lose my gd mind

#only a few more weeks in this godforsaken place and i'll never have to deal with these assholes again 🙏 #i'm so tired of this place man #thinking about my fave has gotten me through... maybe a concerning amount of frustrating things this year #my baseline for how often i think of him is already pretty high but he's on my mind almost constantly here #bc i am that desperately in need of something happy to help me take my mind off of stressful shit #if there's any genuine advice for me to give on this blog it's this: #when considering a college do some digging online about the culture #ESPECIALLY if you're a minority #and i mean dig deep too #if a school has money they may try their damndest to hide all the problems they have through whatever means necessary #people told me i'd fit in here which is true academically #but socially and culturally this place is full of the most toxic people and mindsets jfc #i could go on about this place and how much it sucks for hours #but anyway... my l*ndo burping 🤤🤤🤤 #thinking about drinking soda with him and him not letting me touch myself or burp 🥴🥴🥴 #sighhhhhhhhhhhh #not sfw #londarling

[stormyoceans]

losing my mind like. sorry i know i never shut up about dark pete burning the whole mafia world down to save vegas and macau but. i've seriously been losing my mind over it like

give me vegas and macau being late home after vegas went to pick macau up at school on his bike and not answering their phones and pete immediately knowing something is wrong. give me pete calling chay to ask if he saw them actually leave together and then, at chay's affirmative answer, calling arm all business-like: "i need a favor, but you can't tell anyone about it. if you won't help me just say so right away, i don't have time to waste." give me pete asking arm to hack into the security cameras on the way from macau's school to their home and watching all the footages until he spots a van cutting vegas' bike off and then taking vegas and macau away.

give me pete figuring out it's not a ransom situation but a personal vengeance. give me pete manipulating, bribing, maiming, and torturing people, promising them not to kill them if they give him the information he needs and then killing them anyway because whoever was behind this can't know pete is coming and dead men tell no tales. give me kinn and porsche eventually finding out what’s happening and asking pete why he didn’t go to them for help. give me pete answering, cold and detached, ‘frankly, i haven’t ruled out the involvement of the main family in this, yet. nor of the new minor one.’ give me porsche’s indignant ‘ai’pete!’ before trying to stop pete from leaving. give me pete pointing his gun at porsche because yes, porsche is his friend and pete loves him dearly, but that’s pete’s family they’re talking about and no one – NO ONE – is gonna tell pete how he has to go about saving it, if someone was stupid enough to think they could mess with vegas and macau now that they don’t hold the title of heirs of the minor family anymore, well then pete has to show them just how fucking wrong they are and bring them as an example for everyone else.

give me pete finally finding out who’s behind it and where they are keeping vegas and macau and getting ready to bring down an entire building full of people armed only with a gun and a knife. give me pete being smart about it, using stealth and smoke bombs to conceal his attacks, preferring the knife over a gun he would have to reload over and over again, putting into practice his experience as a boxer and all of chan’s teachings: circle around the target rather than move in a straight line; forgo the heart and target the abdominal aorta that sits unguarded at the top of the abdomen at the meeting of the ribs; if the opponent is guarding their vital targets well, strike at less vital areas to make the defender move and then go for the carotid in the neck, the brachial artery in the arm or the radial artery in the forearm, the femoral artery in the leg, the abdomen. give me pete finding macau locked alone in a room and macau not caring about the blood covering pete from head to toes and just hugging him tight because pete really came for them. give me pete handing the gun to macau because there’s no way he’s leaving macau behind and the two of them fighting their way to wherever they’re keeping vegas. give me vegas tied to a chair, half-high with whatever drug they injected in his system to keep him from fighting back, a constellation of cuts and bruises all over his body. give me vegas never seeing something so beautiful as pete, covered in blood and knife in hand, killing the dudes assigned to keep guard to vegas' room and then dropping on his knees in front of vegas to gently cup his face and put their foreheads together.

and the fucker who did this? give me pete dragging him in front of vegas and macau and not killing him right away, but slowly cutting him up and tearing him apart for every wound he can see on the two brothers: a tooth for macau’s split lip, an eye for the bruise blooming on vegas’ cheekbone, all of his fingers for vegas’ broken arm. and then, finally, give me pete bringing vegas and macau home and the three of them piling together in the same bed, holding each other all night, their little family of three that no one is allowed to touch.

#feeling some type of way tonight #who am i kidding i always feel some type of way about them #also i firmly believe pete doesn't enjoy torturing people like vegas does but as soon as someone touches vegas and macau? #well that changed everything #just as 'i will always love and be loyal to the main family' means fuck all to pete as soon as he suspects them #because he will never love or be loyal to someone as much as he is to this little family he found #also when pete finds vegas they obviously kiss too and vegas (even if he's drugged and hurt) is like #'if my little brother weren't in the room with us i'd fuck you right here and now' #and pete laughs and is like 'so macau being present is the only issue you see here? not like.. your general condition? you look like shit' #vegas actually THINKS about it. 'you could ride me' #pete just shakes his head utterly amused. 'i don't think that would satisfy either of us.' #and it's TRUE because what vegas actually wants is to spread pete out on a bed and take his time to worship every inch of pete's body until #pete is a sobbing shivering mess just begging for release #anyway.. #i miss them every day #m: txt #vegaspete

[k1rishiki]

there's so much manga i have to read it's unreal 😭

#for physicals i have 13 volumes of yona of the dawn. all of the rose of versailles. the first volume of the illustrated guide to monster #girls. and i need to reread tbhk or at least the first volume bc i told one of my kids at work that i'd let him read it while he's at the #program and i need to brush up on it bc it's been over a year. #and then for manga i don't have physicals of. i desperately need to reread and then catch up on kuro. considering everything the fact that #don't own the full series is a miracle probably prompted by how much my parents hated it up until the last few months when they suddenly #chilled tf out. i should get caught up on yuri is my job and finish killer in love. also i've sat down to read cocoon intertwined like 24 #times and gotten distracted and didn't every single one. i've been meaning to reread ohshc and pick up kamisama kiss. fruits basket. #vampire knight. nana. the apothecary diaries and chainsaw man. and i should give goodnight punpun a proper read too #then there's all of clamp's works in release order bc i have two volumes of tsubasa but haven't touched them bc i need to go in #release order or i'll die. and now that i think about it i'm really behind on oshi no ko #+ i have a full google doc of manga i need to get too and this is just what i can think of off the top of my head so god knows #what else is in there #romeo.txt

[cinna-bunnie]

"you're easy to be comfortable around and I appreciate you being my friend" music to my fuckin EARS babe

#i am so touched i want 2 cri about it (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) #i remember the beginning of the yr by myself post breakup w No friends n having 2 start from scratch #and i had a lot of misses trying 2 make friends on dating apps but the person who ended up actually being a good friend fr was my pharmacis #like akskdkak i just thought she was rly hot n looked so artsy n cute even though she was in her lil lab coat and i was #SO shy about saying anything but she just started gassing me up immediately and it broke me out of my shell and I'd hype her up too!! #when I'd come to pick up my pills we'd be having a whole conversation while she's helping someone and someone's helping me 💀 #i eventually just asked if she wanted 2 be friends and it's been so fun the whole time (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) #i love her fr i feel the same way friend 🐇💕 #lol this other boy who works there said he loves my outfits and says I'm their most fashionable visitor 🙈 thank yoou i try n appreciate it! #he is such a sweetheart too my other pharmacy is so mean and i remember calling him n he was so warm after just talking w the others #i cried (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) he is always so sweet n easy to talk to. i wasn't sobbing or nothin but aa he was just so nice 2 me ╰(￣ω￣ｏ) 💕 #i love everyone there lol

[frecklystars]

Me cooking dinner for everyone (all my Ryan F/Os) Ken has to come by with another plate and I’m like “didn’t I just give you an entire burger” and Ken says yeah but he needs another because K took his food and then Luke says “yeah he ate my food too” and K is at the table in tears shoving spoonfuls of fresh veggies and meat in his mouth openly weeping “I’ve been eating nothing but instant protein-grub noodles and rice for my entire life Please just Let me Have This I Beg of You”

#i burn the eggs by accident he says no problem and still eats them saying they’re amazing #meanwhile ken is having trouble trying to eat the food that isn’t plastic #he’s like what do you mean I can’t just imagine taking a bite. oh god. this burger is huge. how do I fit my mouth around it #Six is absolutely housing an entire stack of pancakes all by himself in the corner of the room he’s not letting anyone have it #Colt is butting heads with him #no I don’t know Colt yet but he’s included. what food does he like? don’t know yet... MY COOKING #I can’t cook for shit but I’ll learn for my hungry boys <3 #that was painful to type I’ll never say that again Lmfao #i make apple pie just for driver bc I know he likes it #driver nuzzles me the entire time I’m baking he’s snuggly asf. he’s exhausted too #stayed up all night on a getaway job. knows I stayed up all night having nightmares and being unable to sleep again #he gets it. he doesn't force me to try to sleep he knows i can't. but he encourages me to lay down after cooking #and to rest my eyes for a bit. and then it turns into a huge snuggle pile #we've got [counting on fingers] one two three... ten... a dozen Gosling F/Os #one of my best friends says it's like a flock of baby geese following me around SLKDFJSLFSDF #so fucking cute #Luke is canonically snuggly. idk Jacob or Holland yet... I'd want them to cuddle too #all of them are trying to have contact w/ me in SOME way once we're snuggled in bed #Ken's gotta hold my hand and put his head on my tummy HE'S GOTTA. or he'll PERISH #Lars isn't one for touch very often unless if he's the right person. I am that Right Person #but he will still just hold my hand and let everyone else do the full body snuggling #K's sitting up just like Six is when he's resting. alert. protective #Six is relieved he doesn't have to tie his shoelace to the door or worry abt intruders. he can just fall the fuck ASLEEP #they've all got full tummies and maybe some of them chat with each other #while others are like SHH LET KERI SLEEP. but im like no no your voices are like angels to me pls keep talking #esp Luke and Sebastian their rasps will lull me easily #love notes

[airenyah]

i guess with all the drama and separation that was happening during ep9 joongdunk desperately had to make up for it behind the scene lmao

#they are sooooo touchy with each other love that for them and for me #love it specifically for me bc they bring that into their characters as well #and it's just so refreshing seeing fictional couples actually touching each other so casually without really thinking about it #as an extremely touchy-feely person myself i just love seeing this kind of thing in my media as well #(no really tho i too am constantly kissing my bestie on her hands‚ her cheeks‚ her forehead‚ the top of her head) #(i MEAN it when i say i'm a touchy person lmao) #(and i get extra needy when i'm tired to the point that some friends from my youth group #whenever i started going around hugging people every 10mins #i'd go up to my friend for a hug and they'd go ''awww is airenyah tired again'') #aaaaaanyway #actually i might gif some of the bts content for fun #airenyah plappert #hidden agenda #joongdunk #adrm

[divinekangaroo]

I remember reading a Professionals fanfic years and years ago where Ray Doyle introduced himself to a dude in a hotel and the dude repeated back, doubtfully, ‘Raid Oil?’ and I still fucking laugh about this now, randomly walking around and my brain throws it up for no reason and I laugh at nothing in the middle of nowhere, like, over a decade after reading the fanfic and over forty years after the actual source canon finished i was not even alive when this was made

#RAID OIL #The ways fanfic can touch people forever #I mean ppl write moving things about how they still have connections w fanfics from decades ago and I’m like #yeah me too lest we forget Raid Oil #I had Raid Oil on a post-it stuck above my desk when going through the Worst Period of my Life too because every time i looked up i'd laugh #What does Raid Oil mean they’d ask #need to know basis #never you mind son never you mind

[running-in-the-dark]

got a new hard drive (had to, no space left 😔), so I'm using that as a reason to completely reorganise my files (mostly shows, movies etc)

I'm having such a good time 💖

#not sarcasm! it's so fun #the only thing that sucks is that I managed to break sonarr somehow. didn't touch a thing but okay sure #I'll figure it out #I've got to wait for a couple cables that we had to order anyway before I can start moving stuff around #I've been sooo frustrated with how chaotic everything has been so this is gonna be great #but yeah I've had to delete so much stuff already (not at all because I've been downloading too much John Larroquette stuff or anything... #😬😬) #and I've been complaining about it every day so my husband bought me a new hard drive 🙈 #still not enough space but it'll do for now #I always think 'oh I'm not a data hoarder! I don't have nearly as much stuff as those guys on reddit or wherever!' but like. it's not #because I don't WANT to save all of it #I only have *checks* 16 TB now with the new hard drive. I'd absolutely get a bunch of 20 TB ones if I could but no instead I spend money on #dumb shit lol #anyway yay I can stop deleting movies! very exciting #lol if anything I'm a hard drive hoarder.... I've got 7 internal ones and 3 external ones now. #yeah I just add new ones and don't remove any #I don't even wanna say it because I'll jinx it but. I've never had a hard drive fail. in over 20 years of having computers. I'm scared it's #gonna happen but 🤷 so far it hasn't lol #well one external one started failing but it went gradually not all at once. so I was able to move everything off of it first #and I mean I have backups of everything that's important! but not any of the media stuff 😬 it wouldn't be awful but it'd definitely make me #sad because I'm sure there's things there's that I couldn't find anymore #personal

[rubberbandballqueen]

hmm i have like, 500-600 taiwan dollars leftover in a tin from the last time i visited relatives... i wonder what would happen if i just handed it to my little cousins like. "yep. here is gift. have fun."

#i heard them trying to sound out 'eidelweiss' on the piano so i've also been thinking of giving them this little music box i bought #a while back that plays eidelweiss. put it in little box with money and letter that is like. 'hello. cousin cares about you.' #'but cousin is awkward and has bad hearing and speaking skills. anyway here's some money and a music box for you.' #i checked n it's like the equivalent of almost 20 usd so like. that's an appropriate gift for nine-year-olds i think #today at work i was cutting glow sticks in half for our craft and i was not wearing any gloves so i got minor chemical burns <3 #like part of the skin on my thumb n pointer finger got bleached so i went around n showed alllll the kids #like. 'hey. check out my chemical burn. this is why we wouldn't let you guys cut open the glow sticks yourselves.' #'because it will do This to you if you touch them too long. this is why we had you wash your hands when you finished.' #n some of them were like 'just wash it off' n i was like. 'it is a chemical burn. it is on my skin.' #at least i Think it was a chemical burn but i mean it was very minor (makes sense bc it's just glow sticks) so the skin's flaked off by now #similar happens when i touch my hair bleach w/o gloves so i'm Pretty Sure it was chemical burns #we had a table of kids who were speaking cn to each other so at some point i pieced together they didn't seem to pay attn. bc low en skills #anyway i broke my own rule abt no phones at work to look up 'chemical burns' in cn for them bc although they know i speak Some cn #(by giving them minor instructions for the glow stick craft) i was like. 'chemical burns... how to say....' #apparently they are mostly from taiwan which is fun i love it when i Don't receive microaggressions for writing in traditional c': #today's my only camp shift for the week tho... one of my coworkers died last week so i told my boss i could pick up his camp shifts #if no one else had but apparently i'd go over hours this week... feelsbad man. it's summer + we're always understaffed #so there's gonna be a point when the front desk worker is gonna be covering the camps for a little bit which is. i feel bad ahaha #the worm speaks

[hua-fei-hua]

decided to finally start transferring some of my shitty fanfiction pitches that i've been tossing at friends or into my tiny notebook onto my master doc (which i haven't touched since like, mid-may apparently), only to discover that i??? can't seem to edit gdocs on my laptop for some reason???? like it won't recognize any keyboard inputs, including ctrl+c/ctrl+v???

and i'm like "okay fine let's see if it works on a different acct" so i open up the doc to anyone w/the link n am abt to switch to one of my other accts, but half of them are like signed out, so i'm like "whatever" n go to sign in, but it repeatedly tells me that sign-in has failed w/o even letting me try typing in a password????

so i'm like "ugh fine whatever" and i turn off the vpn i got like two days ago to see if THAT does anything (it doesn't) and so i start googling the problem, trying various things, but all of them are like "oh yeah use google chrome for this" or "on your chromebook" or "install this google chrome extension!" and i'm like!!!!

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK. YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*screams into pillow*

i'm going to rip google to shreds with my own HAND-FILED SHARPENED TEETH at this rate

#i can edit it just fine on my phone which makes it all even stranger #and i can edit google SHEETS just fine too!!!!!!!!!!! it's literally just???? #i checked my firefox settings to see if i have like idk permissions turned off for google sheets to sense keyboard input!!! idfk!!!! #anyway i had a setting that would automatically search a page when typing that i've been meaning to like #figure out wtf was up with n turn off for like. a long time now (lol) so i turned that off #still didn't fix the gdocs issue so like. BITING THEM AND BITING THEM AND BITING THEM AND BITING THEM..... #in case you guys are wondering why i haven't touched gdocs since may apparently it's bc i write using scrivener these days #but my shitty fanfiction pitches doc has been a pinned tab on my browser since like the start of 2016 #that tab is like my long term boyfriend or some shit at this point i can't abandon it #and also if i lose it from failing to back it up i'd cry #花話

[abyssalpriest]

Working with Leviathan be like

Leviathan: *completely both rewrites a severe trauma trigger back into something neutral and freeing, and further reconnects me to the Sky and myself off plane and pre-incarnation in the space of 24 hours* yeah nice, anyway we should play video games now I'm tired

#ramblings // #Emphasis on he works over the span of months but he really is a uh... A pool of water that doesn't drip into your mind until you open the #door. And you think you will be drowned when you do but he is so soothing. And he walks with you #And sometimes what he walks you through is really painful and it's like what the actual fuck am I doing but he stays there like #duh it's what I said would happen it's fine trust me #And you do and then it's like. Holy shit. Look what I walked through. Hope you're proud of me #leviathan // #ramblings // #Anyway. Friendship ended with Despise A Certain Game now Ending Of The Game Where She's Soothed And The Rain Fades is my friend #And. I didn't realise how much I'd become afraid to talk about me. I talk about Leviathan all the time as the sky but I don't.... Like #talking about myself as a part of the day sky and what that means. I have. Thanks to him. Had gateways opened to astral memories #that I was too scared to touch and.... I'm.... I think I'm ready to start recorroborating my info between brains in astral and physical #bodies..... I think..... I'm ready I'm... I am So fucking End Of Game Where Rain Fades right now and that makes me want to fucking bawl my #eyes out because a) I wasn't allowed in the cult I was in to go near that part of the game bc they told me the character there was alive and #she hated my guts and thought I was disgusting. And b) god the storyline involving her is just so so so so so relevant to my life post-cult #:( you know. Just :( #Diary // #The child returns to her mother the cycle is done the rain clears the ocean is infinite the workings of the cult I mean church are undone #And that doesn't scare me anymore? The cult was so.... Had me thinking that any time that game was brought up they were in control of it #and they would see me and it was their game and they made it alone and I could never just enjoy it as a video game.... It #Still hurts a little but leviathan walked me through allowing it to be neutral and admitting that I see myself in it. Because I tried my #hardest to not admit that thinking that if I did they'd be in my head but mo #No* it's... Its a communal thing. It's allowed to be relatable to a wide audience for neutral reasons. I don't have to break down when I see #it. And I'm allowed to talk about the Sky and I'm allowed to talk about where and when I met Leviathan and I'm allowed to not hide what I do #with him because others may take it as gross exaggerations for bragging rights - I'm allowed to be neutral. Just because at one point in my #life I thought astral projection was only for a select few does not mean now that I do it I have to hide it in case someone like me #takes their insecurity so far that they see my neutral declarations as an attack on them............. Anyway #The Day Sky. My beloved. You mean so much to me. I won't forget my purpose in this incarnation I will not hide it #Thanks Lev #I love that arguably calling him Lev is more controversial than calling him Tengri but it's Not just a nickname lmfao

[mercyisms]

very random but just letting you know that your abigail & augustine comic lives in my head rent free. it's GREAT

oh gosh, that is so kind of you to say. thank you for taking the time to tell me! augustine really just emanates "plagued by social parties syndrome" (a real condition, pray for him) and also "percy bysshe shelley bastard energy," and i'm so glad some spirit moved me to the share that thought & that you enjoyed it.

#i really would love to do something about mercy and the eighth but that monster woman (affectionate) has not touched those cult freaks in #like at least 1200 years if not more i'd bet you anything #it's not too late tamsyn... please tell me what freaky society is happening on the eighth.... #sorry i'm doing bits but tysm for sending this ask #it means a lot to me for anyone to take the time to do so!! #<33 #asks