#i mean it's more complex than that tragedies were not kid's stories

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )

𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )

i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.

bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara

𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )

if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.

𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )

it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.

𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )

there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.

𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )

the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.

𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )

mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.

𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )

build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.

𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )

this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.

#college #education #school #academia #note taking #student #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #academic validation #chaotic academia #light academia #dark academia #university student #architecture student #i should study #study tips #student life #study notes #studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo #uni student #university life #uni life #university #smart #be smart #become smarter

[qcomicsy]

I was going to reblog with a comment but that post is already super long. But so true ! Like the ninja assassin thing with Dick is a modern retcon something that would be a Tim Cass or Damian thing to do. But writing a flashback for an adult Dick in the 2000s would be weird. By the 1960s he was firmly in canon 18 and in college. How are you gonna go back to the era of goofy and be like this is Dick’s angsty teenage years involved getting turned into a vampire and fighting Bruce over dating Talia. It just doesn’t make sense with how Long comics keep going. 80 years of comics and he’s only what 28. Like it’s very hard to keep a consistent character when everyone wants to make Dick Jason and Bruce new characters every few decades

Absolutely!

My personal view about how they kept retconning Dick's personality as a child and his relationship with Bruce is that it's a mix of complex things and bullshit.

The complex things is yeah, Dick and Bruce had their share of problems when Dick was growing up. They did start bumping heads a lot, but it was more like "this kid is turning into a man and is starting to clash views with his father (who is already someone who's not easy to deal with)" and "that's the part where he starts to develop who he is as person" (I won't get much into that because I haven't read many comics regarding Dick transition from Robin from Batman & Robin to Robin from Titans until Nightwing in the pre-death of the family era.) than the borderline abusive and toxic relationship they started to introducing in the late 90's to early 2000's portrayals of them.

It's complex because after rebooting everything it's hard to introduce such a long and gradual process that took almost ten years of development that is Dick's emancipation not only from working with Bruce but also following his every step as boy wonder. Specially if we think about the huge fall out they had right after Jason died.

It's bullshit because they started with those retcons when we had that long and embarrassing period of Super-hero history (late 90's to early 2000's) where everyone was trying to make super-heroes popular again but following alongside with a palpable embarrassment and self-conscious shame regarding any silliness and/or whimsical side the superhero universe. Like "we're making superheroes stories but this is for adults, this ain't for children 😡😡". Nobody wanted to be the "60's Batman TV show everyone makes fun of" and everybody wanted to be Alan Moore.

We had all this writers who grow up reading "Death of the family", "The Killing Joke", "Batman Year one" add were dying to recreate the 80's dark period glory, even if they didn't had the same writing skills for that.

I mean hate the Killing Joke all you want (I know I do), it has a shit tone of good writing.

It's bullshit because everyone was still sore about how Batman turned into a joke in the 90's after that one movie and for some reason everyone blamed Robin. It's bullshit because comic books are always influenced by the popular media around them, and while 40's Batman had the American Way and American Family Values™ 🦅🦅🦅, 80's Batman has Scarface, Taxi Driver and long urban tragedies.... 90's have Die Hard and every extra power macho fantasy under the sun.

I mean... This was 90's Nightwing.

he's so big and so stupid and one day I'm gonna top h–*gunshots*

No one wanted to see "good father" Batman, hell no one wanted to see any emotional shit in comics? Emotions??? In my manly comics??? Miss me with that gay sit emotions is for girls 😡😡 I wanna see big buffy man making his enemies cry 🔥⛓️☠️💪☠️😡⛓️🪚🔧

So you reach early 2000, everyone kinda hates or is kinda embarrassed of Robin, Batman is a former shadow of the man and the father he used to be. But you still wanna introduce new readers to your character (Dick Grayson) that (for better or for worst) is loved but only by the people who already know him, you're still embarrassed of his silly origins and the whimsical part of it.

So what do you do?

Personally I think writers thought Dick had it too easy as Robin, personally I think they were obsessed about making it real, personally I think everyone was obssessed and trilled with the idea of being the next Tim Miller and making their one fresh real edge introduction of the boy wonder. Personally I think this is all the new 52 was absolutely on for the Batfamily.

Personally I believe (and this is more a optimistic take) some writers were creatively trying to tie Dick's anger issues as Nightwing to his origins as Robin.

You have this chance of one in million (at te time) to reintroduce Nightwing (reintroduce Robin), now you can make it as real as gritty and as edge as you want. You can make it Robin cool again, you can introduce in a way that will sell well the dark story you where preparing for this character. And you also can deny any father and son relationship he could had have with Bruce Wayne and keep the big beef strong man without feelings reputation that people have been manufacturing by choice into Batman from ten years by now.

And what is more dark and character building than an abusive father?

I think writers thought that making Bruce abusive towards Dick and Dick resentful towards Bruce was the best way to launch this new universe as realistic and grittier. Not only making Dick's Robin introduction (and origin) more "real" but also separating Bruce even more from a emotional and father like figure that for some reason some writers (and fans!) despised to much.

Killing so many birds with one stone might as well call yourself David from the Bible.

And they were so certain this direction would be a success that the just notice their mistake now.

Anyways... A load of bullshit.

I personally don't mind Dick's Robin having anger issues, I think it's a natural progression from his first real serious introduction from back in the 80's, I also think it adds more to his character tying up his first trauma along with a long life of others and the result of having to deal with a frustrating job (that is vigilantism is) since literally ever. I like the idea that the perfect Robin wasn't perfect all the time and he also had (and has) other side of his personality that isn't as nice or likeable as it should and that's a thing he consciously have to work on as a person since he was a child.

However I also think writers did took to far sometimes and Dick history and specially his relationship with Bruce suffered from it. And I also agree that if everyone tries to reboot, retcon and fucking "subvert" a character every fucking ten years you won't even have a fucking consistent character to begin with (gestures vaguely to Jason Todd, Deadpool and now poor fuckin Damian and their wreck of comic book history).

#Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Dick Robin #Batman #Batman and Robin #q asks

[docholligay]

I really liked one of the central storyline/ideas/themes, that sometimes trauma makes people put up these huge mountains and take on a lot of responsibility to be ‘miracles’ and put it on their kids, because all they can see is everyone who didn’t make it. That’s an experience not uncommon to Jewish communities, Cambodian communities, etc, in America. I thought it was a really humanizing element of abuela being kind of objectively a bitch. Loved it. 

I liked the momentary nod to the idea that the power of community is stronger and better than any one individual gift. 

I like Mirabel’s character design a lot! She’s very cute. 

The intro song is either one of the better songs, or it just reminds me so much of how Midgie likes to dance to it that it becomes good in my mind, hard to say which. Also loved Dos Oruguitas, great bit. 

My greatest criticism would be that the movie is holy shit too busy. There are like, 6 different storylines and ideas happening at once, and while I love that for something that is longer, and allowed to have more complex plotting,* it does not work here. And you might say “dooooocccc you’re comparing this to aduuuult stuff” no I’m not! Nor am I comparing it to the Disney movies of my youth. I’m comparing it to like, Frozen and Moana, both of which I thought moved the ball nicely for the direction of children’s film while still being very palatable and easy, and didn’t take on too much. Encanto takes on a little bit too much, and so we have a lot of really lovely and emotionally complex ideas that are never really given any time for even a young audience to really engage in that particular storyline. It was too busy. And for me, distractingly so. Again, I am NOT asking it to be an adult film. I am comparing it to its peers. 

This isn’t a criticism, REALLY, but the whole time I was sitting there I was like, ‘Okay so please explain to me how this gift helps the community, I am dying to know’ ahaha. I mean Julieta’s is obvious, and so is Luisa’s, but if we buy into what the movie is selling about Isabela’s power, that she can make flowers bloom and her tragedy is she hasn’t been allowed to do anything else** how does that help the town? I assume crops are off the menu? Camilo and the power to shapeshift? They have him, in a song, rocking a baby for a moment for a tired mother, but I mean....really? It’s like saying “Isabela decorates for all the weddings” and that’s her great contribution. I am WELL AWARE I am thinking too much about this and that’s why I’m like “this is not a real criticism” 

In all, it was fine! I would have liked it a lot better if it were either a really well produced series OR the storyline was streamlined. As it was, it was the poor juggling of really good balls. 

*I am well aware this is a kid’s movie! I’m not asking it to have more complex plotting. I’m saying that it should have stuck to a single idea. 

**I LOVED her 30 seconds of side story, but this is what I’m talking about with the business. Isabela being kind of a cunt was a note, then understood and fixed in moments. Isabela’s song about being fixed was longer than any of her other dialogue ahah. 

#Surface Pressure and Whatever the name of Isabela's song is felt off to me #music wise #for the rest of the movie #I can't explain why because I don't know music well #so take it with a grain of salt #I know moonlight knows a lot about music and might be able to pinpoint #I was already biased not to LIKE surface pressure because when the movie first came out #there were SO many sadgirls my age who were posting that fucking #'at my core I feel like I'm worthless if I can't be of service' #and I was like 'honey I have known you for years' #I have not seen you so much as pick up a PHONE for your larger community #all I hear you talk about is how much you hate having to go to your moms for thanksgiving #and how you hate your exhusband #SERVICE #so I knew that it could be the best song IN THE WORLD #and I wasn't going to like it #not its fault #but what I DIDN'T expefct was to find it so jarringly...unfitting? #I really can enjoy kids' things! also #like here! #It's just being allowed to enjoy them in themselves instead of adults telling me #its the narrative that spoke to them THE MOST #where I'm like...what?

[delurkr]

This was going to be a reblog of @dennisseyebrows 's post and related to @tatjana-fantasy 's comment but their post doesn't deserve to have whatever this is dumped onto it so I decided to make it separate lol

So maybe it's just because I'm all about ✨complexity✨ in characters but I mainly like to see the doubles as facets of the same people instead of Anthony's corrective imagination. Basically like Amy, Anne, and Angela are all separate people but they're also all Amy, all Anne, and all Angela to fill in the gaps of what we aren't shown. About Joseph and Amy, they're happily married indeed but maybe their consistently ideal interactions are more representative of moments James and Anne had/have instead of how they used to always be. This is going into headcanon territory, but with Tanya saying "they've been arguing since we were in diapers" and just with the two of them having such strong personalities my guess is that conflict alternating with kiss-and-make-up is normal for them and, while it's not great for the kids, doesn't necessarily mean anything serious until it does.

And I feel like it's a deliberate point of the game that we get 30 minutes of people being more or less terrible to each other so that we're quick to pick sides and condemn them and assume this is actually how they are since it's our only exposure to them after all (so we think) and we go wow why don't some of them just part ways already, and then we spend the rest of the game learning more about them and their circumstances and seeing how their doubles can act the same while having more to them than that because in reality, there is always more to people (which is neutral btw; I'm not saying it to downplay the bad or the good). Also I'll say here that because of the current day cast's variability and having more than a few minutes with them I'd guess they are really the most comprehensive picture of each Clarke (their personalities and attitudes, not specifics like Taylor and Daniel dating or Angela being divorced and such). We have as good as they get in the 1600s era, as bad as they get in the 1970s, and the determinate present day to establish which side of each character wins out. Learning to look at what happened differently is very clearly the point of Megan's story and I mean why wouldn't it apply to the rest of the family too.

Also it's relevant that I think the underlying story is purgatory since there's hints to it, and if so, everyone's fates can't depend on the ways Anthony characterizes them; it would depend on the actual people making their own choices. But even interpreting it as all his imagination, it still remains that Anthony and the player are learning to make sense of his family being complicated and to see them apart from the last image he has of them that was (almost literally) burned into his memory. And part of the tragedy is that this family in no way "had it coming" (and I've seen players use those words) but they ended so unexpectedly at a genuine low point, like not only in life in general but also in a get-past-tonight-and-deal-with-it-in-the-morning sort of way, basically the kind of regrettable times that most of us have but usually have the chance to make up for later. Of course they didn't and the present day timeline is helping or hindering Anthony piecing together a more accurate understanding of Megan especially but also everything else that was going on with the family.

Anyway if you made it this far, congratulations, my lack of articulacy is annoying me and I don't how to end this but yeah I have these 6 people under the microscope every day and most of the time I like to look at the sets of doubles as 6 big beautiful layer cakes instead of more like how Anthony wished it was, but please know that none of this is me telling people how to enjoy the story of course, this is just how I get the most meaning out of it personally.

#seriously why are words so hard #i always feel like there's ways to express things better but it is what it is #ramblings #the clarke family #anne clarke #james clarke #anthony clarke #the dark pictures anthology #little hope

[crestfallercanyon]

5, 17, 19 and 30 for the AO3 Wrapped <3

Hello!! Thank you so much for the asks! Hope these answer your questions well enough <3 5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Of All My Crimes. I mean, it doesn’t have a ton, but it’s a gen fic/pre-slash between Derek Hale and Allison Argent centered after they just burn Kate Hale to death in a house. It’s a fairly dark story in a very niche relationship, so I was expecting nothing. I was thrilled that those who read it did in fact enjoy it! I will say, I loved writing it (and it also has my favorite chapter titles of any of my fics except conflicts of interest)

17. My favorite character to write this year?

GOSH THAT’s SO HARD. not going to lie, though, and I’m CERTAIN there’s some recency bias here, but I think it has to be Mickey Milkovich. He’s a very complex character. He’s extremely brusque and rough and especially early seasons terrified as being seen as anything other than brutal. But he loves. He loves very much.(and there's a glimmer of this in his relationship with Mandy). And very caring and carefully. I like that he’s good with kids (which makes his fear of being a bad dad so sad because he is good with the young Gallagher kids!). He’s somewhat a tragic character until he essentially decides, fuck this, I’m not going to be this tragedy anymore. It’s really empowering, actually. And then, selfishly, I used to write very punchy and aggressive and vulgar poetry, actually, so his POV makes me feel like I can call back on that to write.

One pairing I’d like to explore next year?

I’d like to explore Gally and Teresa from The Maze Runner more. I’m working on a long fic with them and I really really enjoy their dynamic.

30. My biggest surprise while writing?

I mean, it’s the fact that I wrote almost 50,000 words in a month just because I got so into writing for Shameless. I couldn’t STOP writing for that little bit there. It’s slowed down (as all things must) but that was surprising.

Thank you so so much for your asks! These questions were fun!! All questions are from AO3 wrapped [writer’s edition]

#ao3 wrapped #fic asks game #writing game #ask box games

[twiststreet]

10 Random Recent TV opinions:  

1.  The “What if Christoph Waltz was your boss and also Satan from the bestselling book the Bible” show was fun anytime Christoph Waltz was on screen, but kinda corny the rest of the time because it could never explain why these people didn’t just quit working for Satan.  People quit jobs, all the time!  

2.  Plus, bless TV writers’ little hearts, but I know about lots of bosses who were way, way worse than TV’s Satan.  Oodles!  Satan seemed comparatively well-intentioned to other bosses I’m aware of-- Satan at least has a valid reason for being kind of a dick (souls is neat to own, or whatever).

3.  That second-to-last Servant, the last one directed by Shyamalan, Sr... Lauren Ambrose is great, but once you get past that, Shyamalan does this really gorgeous Hitchcock zoom in there  (the one in the car). (You know when you zoom in while also pulling the camera away, or zoom out while pushing in, they go either way). No one watches that show or I’m convinced there’d be articles about that zoom...  I dug that zoom so much...!!  Shyamalan mentions it in the behind the scenes footage (he calls it a zolly, which I’m not into) but only for like a second.

4.  I caught up on the Mandalorian because I was in the mood for outer space / I’m an old man who occasionally gets the bug to find out who’s winning the Star War.  It’s fine?  I like parts of it.  Plus:  I guess it’s an unpopular opinion but I didn’t really think Andor was anything at all--  I thought it was boring and middlebrow.  I liked the Mandalorian more because it was consistent with what a Star War involves as I understand it-- fart noises, animals shitting, booger jokes.  I mean this sincerely-- those things to me are hallmarks of the franchise, because Star Warring is for fucking kids. That is kid’s business.  Whereas Andor felt like it wanted to be for grown-ups who want to take a Star War seriously and explain the prison industrial complex to me or some shit-- that is ridiculous and nothing I can approve of.

5.  I think my favorite Mandalorian episode was the one that’s just about 80′s action legend Carl Weathers’s character being a bad-ass, directed by 80′s action legend Carl Weathers.  My second favorite was the 10 minutes where Boba Nott fought Cthulu Men on a boat.  

6.  Katee Sackhoff is in the Mandalorian though and she is terrible... Especially because the tragedy of the show-- I really think the best thing in it was Gina Carano.  People get really excited to mock that woman, since she “fumbled the bag.”  But even though she’s not a good actress, she’s fun to watch fight in a Star War and I don’t know-- I just think it’s really, really sad, that she blew up her life like that, or that she let down all those fans.  I don’t 100% get what people think is so funny there-- it makes me feel sad and tired.

7. Poker Face-- I’d say the Escape from Shit Mountain episode (the one with Joseph Gordon Levitt) is probably the best one, the one that’s a Phil Tippett tribute with Nick Nolte is pretty solidly good, and then the rest are varying degrees of i-mean-i-guess-I-had-nothing-else-going-on to highly-highly-skippable. 

8.  Setting aside the directing and production design, I take Will Trent over Poker Face because Will Trent doesn’t have superpowers and has to solve mysteries, which are difficult for him to solve and thus more satisfying to me to see him deduce, than seeing solutions magically land into Natasha Lyonne’s lap.  Her superpowered character could just shout “did you do murder” to everyone she met and each episode would be 10 seconds long.  Plus: I think it’s weird that Poker Face girl doesn’t have any friends.  Psych and Monk had friends; Columbo had a wife, I think.  It’s doing the Incredible Hulk TV show instead, but that show was (a) depressing because it was about a lonely man going town to town until being asked to leave after his emotions make him rip his clothes off-- that’s not a story we needed Rian Johnson to revisit, and (b) involved a Hulk who was Incredible, i.e. just not really the same vibe as a mystery show.

9.  Will Trent is just crazy because it’s a network TV crime show and those all went insane after young people stopped watching them.  Because they have to keep old people awake-- and network crime dramas do that by being joltingly violent.  The last episode of Will Trent I saw, Will Trent had to solve a mystery where a woman was killed in this horribly, horribly brutal way (like they explain it’s how hunters murder deer, except it happens to a human woman and there are unpleasant details I’m leaving out).  It’s a disturbing way to die which the audience hears about repeatedly... until the episode ends with Will Trent saying cute stuff to his (actually very adorable) dog, plus the b-story was a wacky mystery involving a dead magician (haha).  My point:  Poker Face would get letters if it was a tenth as nightmarish as the average show that a 53 year old aunt watches on network television at 10pm; Rian Johnson would have to apologize.

10.    I kind of want the final season of Barry to just be Barry stuck in jail for 20-30 years until being paroled back onto the streets, as a confused old man.  I don’t think that’s what it’ll be, but I just think that’d be clean and rad and powerful.

#All I Ever Write About on this blog is Television...

[alexsiple]

I just read through In Terms of Rain and I found it exceedingly beautiful in illustration AND writing (tf how do you do that). It really captured what I like in a lot of Death Note fan creations, which is some abstractness and ideas left up for interpretation. That being said, I would really love some insight and analysis on your end of certain choices you made while creating it. Just any meanings from certain pages or your general thoughts would be incredible for my plebeian mind <3

ohhhh anon thank you so much. this is so kind of you- thank you for reading it and enjoying it. and thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk at length about this thing i've made HAHAHAHA i'm rubbing my hands together like a little creature (i'm putting this under a cut)

listen i think about death note too much. like, too much for what it is. it's one of my favorite things ever but i'm hyper-aware of its flaws. that said, i think a lot about L and light and how the creators managed to make this really crazy story about being known and what we hide from others. it's so romantically tragic to me. it's so romantically violent to me. i wrote about this more on my substack but i'll keep going with some more specific death-note-lore sort of analysis (i guess i'm a person who links their substack unprompted. great).

L is like, one of my favorite characters of all time? i read a lot of death note fanfiction (i know ok) and my favorite hobby is analyzing people's interpretations of him. literally a year or so ago i was reading so much fanfic and it was kind of rotting my brain and i had this sudden wave of inspiration/wrote the whole script of this comic in one sitting. i kept starting this comic since then and the visual style never felt right until i managed to land on this one.

L makes me very sad. i both relate to him and watch him from afar as an omniscient observer. i wanted to capture all these feelings he gives me at once; it's a really L-centric comic. the tragedy of living a life in so much isolation. the tragedy of living life not exactly for beliefs or morals or justice, really, but because it's your job, and all you have, and you're good at it, so you do it. whatever. shrug, shrug. you do it. if you die, you die. apparently i also for some reason fixated on the thing about L being adopted by wammy and being raised to be this child prodigy. a gifted kid narrative, etc. that makes me sad. i think L and light have this parallel going on where they both feel misunderstood by most people because of their own making, maybe, but also because of how they were raised and because of their ""intellect"" and their superiority complexes. light's complex coming more from privilege, of course, and being more analyzed in the source material. both of them jaded by and cynical of the world and its extreme violence.

i wanted to hone in on that loneliness. L and light are very lonely characters. they are very internal and thoughtful and weird and express this in opposite ways (but they're the same! of course!) hm. i like thinking that L was raised in a church. dropped off in that movie-orphan way as a baby during a snowstorm or something. how did wammy find him at eight years old and adopt him like that. what does a child have to see and do to become a "detective prodigy" at age eight. canonically, the whole wammy's house thing is fucked up. canonically, L is the first and best. what does a child have to see and do to become the First and Best. does intelligence make a child more mature, more able to "handle" anything thrown in their line of view? some people seem to think so. i think it's creating a sort of ghost that haunts you when you're old enough to look back and see it behind you.

also i wanted to explore religious [catholic] imagery. albeit in a more earnest way than the source material but yeah- i imagine L grew up around catholicism. wammy's house with its big cross on it! i think sometimes when you've been lonely for a long time, or your whole life, and you have never felt truly seen, there's this euphoria that arrives with the person who finally Sees you. you know? sometimes that feels like religion. sometimes being known feels holy. sometimes it feels like being loved. shrug, shrug. sometimes it feels like dying.

i've always really loved that L likes that light could be kira. is. i think it's so insane and endearing and personal to me. light hates that L knows him, has never been known before, translates this feeling into violence. L is like, i get this guy completely, he's a mirror, but somehow he's like no one else i've met before and it's still exciting! i'm laughing at him (i'm crying.) i like that light hides all strong emotions deep within and that L occasionally releases strong emotions with, like, a detached acceptance. he's not exactly afraid to be vulnerable but more picks and chooses what to let people see. plays off of something real, sometimes. is willing to play a character for fun. light just doesn't show anything real at all. is very uncomfortable with any vulnerability. is also very afraid of death. in some ways i feel that L seems to halfway accept his death. he's like, yeah, i'm dying now. this is where my life has led me. i lost but it's out of my control anyway. with in terms of rain i wanted it to feel like this foggy reflection on a life from a ghost, i guess? hence all the references to specific years or cases/the opening part. lol. won't explain the one hundred years of solitude reference but i feel as if the stars aligned with that one.

hopefully this is interesting to SOMEONE? LMAO?

and as for certain pages, the only ones i think i want to point out are these two, which are references to B and A respectively because i actually love the los angeles bb murder case novel with like. a fervor. even though i don't think it's actually good but i also think they really nail something with it. i just think about beyond birthday a lot. ugh. DEATH NOTE. I USED TO LAUGH AT BEYOND BIRTHDAY AND NOW IT'S SERIOUS TO ME

thx bye.

#death note #in terms of rain #????? half of my brain is death note lore for no reason. #ask

[synonymroll648]

hi yes i just wanted to say it's a joy to see another Ruewen stan (Grady and Edaline are my favorite characters and I a have to scroll for an eternity to find the slightest content on them their story is so devastating I LOVE IT.)

my dude, the ruewens are such complex and interesting characters. of course i stan them. and you're right, it's sad to see that people skip out on how fascinating they are. [warning: i rambled a l o t about them so i put my screaming under the cut.]

on a surface level, grady's the overprotective dad, but once you dive deeper, you see a lot more. you see that he used to be a signature problem child. you see that his ability messed him up in the head for a while. you see that it still haunts him today, even though it's been centuries since bronte pulled him off the wrong path - take the facility fight in nightfall, for example. when he tells sophie never again after she enhances him. you can see that while he has a reputation of being a father figure that's scary towards anyone that poses a threat to his kid(s), he's scared of himself, too. possibly more so than everyone else. you can see that instead of running away from himself, he stands his ground. he stays where he's needed. he's stubborn sometimes, like with how it took a while for sophie to convince him the black swan wasn't as bad as he thought, but he's open to change when he sees good reason. if he needs to change something about himself in order to be a better person towards the people he loves, he'll do it. he's also one of the only adults in this series that sees the kids as kids first, not soldiers. and so he's one of the only adults that'll throw himself in the front lines and shove the kids back, because they're kids and he's not and he can do it. he can do anything for them, because he's a dad and that's what good dads do.

edaline's a lot more complex than people realize at first glance, too. at first, we just think of her as the sweet mom. but she's a lot more than that. she's a sister. she's a sister to an ambitious froster that decided i don't care what the rules say, i'll love whoever i want. i think a lot of people forget that edaline watched pretty much all of kesline's early relationship in real time. she heard all the whispers and rumors. she saw all the turned backs and glares. and it seems safe to say that she held her sister's hand when kesler wasn't there to, right? and while it's clear that juline's definitely a lot more bold about how she expresses her emotions sometimes - take that time she bitch slapped forkle for not bringing dex back in book 1 (AS SHE SHOULD'VE), for example. we've never seen edaline go that far, but let's be real, she totally could. she's a talented conjurer whose limits seem to be pretty extensive - with sophie's enhancing, she was able to conjure away falling boulders before they hit the ground in book 5. while she was running. also, she's better than grady at wrangling literal dinosaurs. she may be soft-spoken and appear fragile from how grief over jolie wrecked her so thoroughly for almost twenty years, but she's strong. she's strong physically and mentally, on top of giving excellent hugs and being a good mom to anyone who needs it.

now, speaking of jolie - jolie is extremely underrated. i have to give shannon credit for fleshing out a character that died pre-canon well enough that it makes some of us readers, who don't even know her as well as the author because she gets very little page time, go insane over jolie's story nonetheless. jolie ruewen's reputation now is one of a tragedy; even her name means beautiful ruin, as was succinctly discussed here. but there was more to her story than its ending. she loved parties and dresses and cosmetics. she was scared of shadows, at least when she was little. vertina was her best friend, her ultimate confidant. she was a huge gremlin fan - which, of course, is where we start to get into the sadder parts of her story. she met brant when they were kids because they wanted the same gremlin, and they ended up being best friends. who shared custody of the gremlin, if i recall correctly. they were best friends who fell in love somewhere along the way. they loved each other enough that they were willing to push through the stigmas and rumors over them being a bad match, just for each other. they loved each other enough that they were willing to maintain a strong long distance relationship while jolie was in the elite levels. and they almost made it. they were going to get married - we see evidence of it in edaline's office (The Room Where Stuff Goes to Die, if that rings a bell), with all the butterfly themed wedding decorations. but then, of course, rebellion involvements between the two of them respectively mixed disastrously. jolie tried being a double agent between the black swan and the neverseen, and when she saw that the neverseen were destroying the person she'd fallen in love with, her efforts of pulling him out of the wreckage were rewarded by him burning her alive. killing her before she got the ending she deserved.

and all of the ideas i crammed into those three ridiculously long paragraphs aren't exhaustive of who they were as people. they only talk about the canon bits of them we see; they don't even include how they affect each other. how edaline still remembers all of jolie's favorite desserts, because she's a mother and mothers don't forget. how part of why grady is so protective of sophie, his second daughter, his second chance, is because he can't lose her like he lost jolie. how jolie had grady's hair and edaline's eyes. how they waited almost twenty years to turn jolie's room into something new, because it hurt too much to change anything about it back then. and then, of course, there's how sophie fits into it all - how she felt like she could never measure up to jolie for so long, how it seems like vertina will never care about her the way she cared about jolie (not that it seems like either of them mind that); how jolie cared about project moonlark even if she never met sophie, how sophie spent months trying to bring justice to a girl she never met, to a girl that all she really knew about was that she was loved and deserved better.

canon tells us a lot about the ruewens, but the ruewens are so fascinating that it doesn't feel like enough. which is where fanon should come in, but alas, it seems like us avid ruewen stans are few and far enough in between that we're gonna have to make the content we want ourselves.

tl; dr: i, too, am a ruewen stan lmao

#ask #twisted-stan-account #kotlc ruewens #grady ruewen #edaline ruewen #jolie ruewen #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #these guys give me such big brainworms smh #ask to tag

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

148. The Message by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This series continues to be incredibly entertaining and fun!

I loved this one because of the animals they turned into and the almost suspense-like thrill of it. Also, some of the opposing animals they meet. But most importantly, because something new is added after this one, promising to make this series more than just a linear "and then this happened" storyline.

Also, the multiple personalities shined through this one. I really, really wished I had read these as a kid!

___

149. 6 Times We Almost Kissed [and One Time We Did] by Tess Sharpe--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loved, loved, loved.

Tess Sharpe killed it again with another novel full of emotion, complex relationships, and character history full of depth.

One of the things I loved most about this, beyond the adorable will-they-won't-they sapphic relationship, is the level of support the characters got from each other, despite the circumstances and the one character who was drowning for so long in their grief that they forgot to take care of those who were still surviving alongside her.

I also really liked the concept of us exploring the moments where the two MCs almost kissed because it added more layers to their relationship. Their history was so intertwined that they were, of course, the last ones to finally see it.

Loved the friendships, the grandmother, and the cuteness of just how much these two young women care for each other. The grief in this story was palpable (both for the loss of a parent, and the loss of innocence that one of the characters used to have before her life changed so irrevocably.)

Highly recommend, especially because Sharpe has such a strong understanding of what it means to be a human who carries trauma in their heart and the connections that can help lift some of that burden.

___

150. Masters of Death by Olivie Blake--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy from the publisher for an author interview I did for Indigo on Instagram. This didn't affect my rating in any way.

This was my first book by Blake and I was pleasantly surprised! There was so much humour in this book, alongside gorgeous and poetic writing. I think I highlighted quite a few of her lines just because they were either hilarious, or so beautifully written.

The concept was unique and I loved how experimental some of the writing was presented, it made it so conversational--making meeting some of the characters a fun experience. I especially loved the character of Death and how unapologetic he was in how he saw the world. Especially that first quote when he's introduced, "Hello children. It's time for Death."

While there were definitely some slower bits in the heart of this story, I overall really enjoyed the storytelling. I think this will definitely be a book for those who love dark academia stories and character-led plots.

___

151. A Tap on the Window by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think this is one of my favourite of Barclay's books. Having already met the MC in later books, I went into this already knowing his quirks and the men he becomes after the tragedies he faces in this book, so I was excited to see how his past happened.

My heart broke for him as he tried in vain to find out who sold his son the last drugs he had before his death and how the repercussions of his actions came back to haunt him. But I especially enjoyed how he transferred his fatherly worries to the new missing person's case on his hands because he had front row seats to see it all go down.

Through corrupt policing in a small town, a grief-stricken couple, and a mystery that kept revealing more and more secrets, Barclay weaved an entertaining story that I couldn't put down (again). I'm really glad I've gone through his history of books and have slowly been reading them all. They're so entertaining!

___

152. Don't Want to Be Your Monster by Deke Moulton--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this expecting...more? I've read a few middle grade horror books that genuinely spooked me (as an adult) and while I know that it's ridiculous for me to expect more in a kid's book, this was definitely more of a metaphorical horror than a literal one (which was interesting considering that the mcs are vampires.)

That being said, the family connection was great and I loved the LGBTQ+ rep of the one sibling! I also appreciated the comparison of hunting creatures like Vampires for being different and for the stereotypes and the genocide of Jewish people during WW2. I never thought of making that comparison, but it is a very fitting one. Especially when the author explained at the end of the novel of the influences behind Dracula and the consequences of such harmful stereotypes.

The hunter was a creepy and evil man and it was very hard watching this man not give a crap about the fact that he was threatening to kill children.

This wasn't a favourite, but the message behind it is a powerful one. I recommend this, not for the "spook factor" but for the comparisons the author makes!

___

153. The Predator by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I loved to read from the perspective of this character because it allowed me to see more depth than what we usually see. He is more than the annoying kid who always complains about having to do dangerous things, even though those dangerous things are about saving Earth.

What we learn is about the grief he and his father live with and just how much their lives changed when his mother was lost at sea. I got to see the anxiety of the new pressures put on him by a best friend who is so ready to fight, and the beautiful girl friend who is always ready to jump in front of danger.

I think this one is actually one of my favourites, also because there was a hilarious lobster moment in this. I laughed way too much. Absolutely loving this series.

___

154. I Survived the Attacks of September 11th, 2001 by Lauren Tarshis--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this addition to the series, not just because it gives a young reader the perspective of the attacks of 9/11, but because it also tackles the issue of how playing Football can cause concussions that have very real repercussions in the future. While it, of course, wasn't the main topic of this book, I liked that the author touched on that topic.

Reading this book reminded me of how a lot of people who were alive during the 9/11 attacks often wonder where they were and what they were doing when it all happened. The videos will always be the heartbreaking proof of the events, but having a perspective of a child of a family of firefighters was a wholly new way of seeing that day. This series is so important. Even if it's all technically fictional, the events are very real and kids reading these (even adults reading this) may gain new insight and empathy for those who did survive and for those who sadly lost their lives.

Highly recommend this series--bite sized historical snacks in between bigger books.

___

155. The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After having this book partially started on my shelves for years, I have finally finished it!! I'm glad I did, too, because I really enjoyed it. It was strange reading a mythology book by Riordan that wasn't connected to the other ones, but it was just as fun as his other series.

Much like his other books, Riordan explores more than just mythology in this one. He also talks about the very real discrimination mixed raced kids might experience when one looks different than their siblings--and we even see it in how family members treat one of the children. We also see the personification of "the grass is always greener" in the form of how very different both of these siblings' lives were growing up.

The mythology aspect was so cool and I loved learning about the different Egyptian deities. Other than the exploration of race, discrimination, and trauma, the mythology and stories associated with them are always a favourite of Riordan's books.

Will definitely be picking up the next book soon!

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

#review #reviews #book reviews #reviews of the week #my writing #my opinion #long text post #book blog #book blogger #booklr #bookworm #bookaholic #read #reader #reading #book lover #book readers of tumblr #on books #on reading #book list #recommendations #Features

[aspoonofsugar]

Do you think vi will favor caitlyn over jinx at some point during the story ? (for some people she already did in season one but I really don't think this was the case, actually this wasn't the case because she care more about her sister and jinx was her priority throughout the first season)

Hello anon!

Both Cait and Jinx are core relationships for Vi and I don't think she will love one more than the other, if that is what you are asking. In theory, both bonds could very well cohexist, but ironically... Jinx is making it impossible out of jealousy.

That is the tragedy of Jinx's character to be honest. She is so terrified not to be enough and that Vi is going ot leave her behind for Cait that she is exacerbating the already existing coflict between herself (Zaun) and Cait (Piltover). In short, she is making a problem where there really shouldn't be any.

In general, as for now, Vi's trajectory is to grow closer to Cait, while her relationship with Jinx deteriorates. That said, it is too soon to say how things will go and in general reducing everything to... Vi cares more about Cait than Jinx now is kind of reductive imo (not saying this is what you were implying, just talking generically).

See, the point is that the conflict between Jinx and Vi is deep down not about Caitlyn. Sure, Cait superficially plays a role, but if it were not her, it would find another way to resurface. Vi and Jinx's relationship is an incredibly complex one that had its own problems even when they were kids. This is not to say it was bad or problematic, but simply that given the difficult conditions they were brought up, both sisters had their respective problems that went in the way of their bond.

Vi wanted more and kept moving forward aiming for revenge against Piltover, while Jinx tagged along, but deep down felt inferior and useless. Vi's choice to leave Powder behind is rooted into a wish to protect her, but misses how deep Powder's sense of inadequacy and fear of loneliness runs. And obviously her explosions of anger, even if it makes sense, makes Powder's worst nightmare come to life.

After such a conflict and years spent apart it is impossible that their relationship would be the same. However, both sisters refuse this. Jinx can't accept Vi has a strong bond with a Piltover agent, while Vi can't accept Jinx is Jinx and blames her change to Silco. In short, both Jinx and Vi blame the problems they are having to reconnect to another person that has somehow "changed" their sister. However, this is not how things work and the finale proves this. Silco dies, but Jinx does not magically go back to Vi's Powder (and tbh Jinx is Powder and both sisters should honestly accept this...).

Vi and Jinx are not children anymore and they have both changed. This does not mean they can't have a relationship, but they should first accept the other and as for now they are not willing to.

Anyway, Jinx and Vi's relationship is at the centre of Arcane as a series, while Cait is a key character for Vi's arc, so both are gonna play a major role in Vi's story imo.

Thank you for the ask!

#arcane #vi #jinx #caitlyn kiramman #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

[queergodot]

That last post about Maya’s arc also ties into the reason why I’m uncomfortable with portrayals of Maya as overly resentful or angry regarding her Fey family heritage, or people who feel like Maya should end the Fey legacy entirely.

The Fey family is undeniably heavily flawed, dysfunctional, and even broken. The generations of infighting between the main and branch families has undeniably caused a lot of damage. The Kurain Channeling Technique is a dangerous one that can be misused, as proven by the murders attached to it.

Maya’s story is heavily intertwined with duty and destiny. The only other person who could’ve inherited the title of Master of Kurain was Mia, who a) showed no interest in it, and b) was murdered. As such, Maya’s fate in life was decided before she was even born. The Fey legacy has always decided what her life would be, and as established, that legacy is rather deadly.

There is obviously a lot of room to explore complex emotions and unhealthy patterns of behaviour that sprung from this lack of agency and heavy amounts of pressure.

But to pretend like that’s all the Fey legacy is to Maya is an incredibly shallow read of her character, in my opinion. Throughout the series, but especially in the first game, she shows an enthusiasm for spiritual training, and a belief that channeling is her unique way of helping people. She is nervous and unsure of herself in becoming the Master, but she doesn’t seem to want to reject the position.

The only time she genuinely seems like she despises the Fey family legacy is during her cross-examination in Bridge to the Turnabout, when she just found out her mother was murdered, channeling was involved in this, and that her aunt was responsible for it. After suddenly being confronted with the bloody history and realities of her family, of course she’d be scared of it. Of course she’d want to distance herself from it.

But upon visiting Pearl, she seems to gain new resolve, and says she wishes to continue training. She still sees the Kurain Channeling Technique as something that can do good, something she should develop and continue to practice. Her family is not just murderous aunts and well-meaning but ultimately failing mothers, or dead people: it’s also little Pearly, who loves Maya so so much. And as the Master, Maya has the chance to reshape this legacy, to make it something fit for Pearl and generations of kids after her, and to restore the Kurain Channeling Technique’s good name, and use it to help people, like she’s always believed she should.

I understand that people are frustrated by the lack of anger and resentment women are allowed to show in media, including AA. It is understandable to add more of that to characters who otherwise exhibit little. I’ve done this before myself and I sure as hell will continue to do so in the future.

But the purpose of writing layers of resentment and anger into a character are to deepen said character, by adding complex motivations and feelings to them. Making Maya bitter towards her legacy and fate in life, in my opinion, accomplishes the opposite. By making her feelings towards her lot in life purely negative, or focusing overly on the negative aspects, it makes her more one dimensional than she was in canon.

Furthermore, making Maya bitter towards her fate fundamentally changes her arc. Rather than a story about a young girl grabbing her legacy with both hands and resolving to form it into something she can love, it becomes the story of a girl endlessly strapped in a tragedy. And that’s an interesting story in and of itself, but it’s not Maya’s story.

Removing Maya’s genuine love for spirituality and respect for the Fey legacy removes a lot of her character complexity, in my opinion. To me, a large part of the appeal of her character is her determination to do good in spite (and even because of) the injustices that were done to her, and the love for her family legacy in spite of its flaws, and her arc of deciding to shape it, rather than simply following it.

I’m not saying that the people who have a more resentful interpretation of her are doing anything wrong, even if I do think that this is not how you were supposed to read her character. Lord knows I’ve disagreed with authors before on how to read characters (Dahlia Hawthorne being a prime example of it in the AA fandom). But personally, a spiteful, resentful, bitter interpretation of Maya just removes everything about her character that’s appealing to me.

#once again welcome to scatterbrain town how can i help you #my posts #infodumping #maya fey #like genuinely i get it women deserve to have negative emotions other than sadness but like #i just think maya is much more interesting as a stubborn optimist who genuinely loves her family and its legacy even despite everything

[wheelxr]

@bbysttr reported: He removes his coat, gently wrapping it around her shoulders to keep her warm.

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.

After everything that's happened, Nancy can't deny the growth of Steve Harrington. The man who sits beside her now reminds her of the man she'd initially thought he was — who she hoped he could be — before his disregard for Barb's death had ultimately forced her hand. It'd been a painful experience to feel so alone; yet she'd ultimately carried on — had to, because if she hadn't sought out justice for Barbara's death, who would have? 

Her research had proven successful in the end, though the complete story of the Upside Down, the Creel tragedy, and Brenner's corruption was far more complex than any of them bargained for. To be left with a deteriorating Hawkins has the very core of Nancy's soul feeling frigid; and this is something Steve must know, because his jacket is soon draped gently over her shoulders. 

It's such a simple gesture, yet it means the world to Nancy; for it isn't only his jacket that has her feeling warmer. 

❝ Thank you. ❞ Blue eyes flit from the darkening sky to his face, Nancy's shaking fingers tight in the material of Steve's coat. ❝ It's just — this is a lot, isn't it? And I don't know where we all go from here. ❞ She's always done her best to be the leader of the group; to assure each of them into safety, into a future, but now? Max is in the hospital. Eddie and others are dead. Another realm is leaking into their own, monsters and horrors controlled by man desperate for revenge and stronger than all of them out for blood.

How exactly is she meant to fix this?

( It's been months since their standoff with Vecna Henry, and still Nancy hasn't figured it out. )

❝ You know, I keep telling the kids it'll be alright. That we'll get through this, that everything is going to be fine. But I don't know if it will be, Steve, and I feel....horrible, for all of it. We were supposed to stop him, and I tried to be one step ahead; god, he even told me about how close I got to figuring it all out, but it was useless. ❞ 

October air usually brings with it a sense of spooky joy, but it's harder to let go this year — harder to look past her failures and allow herself to have some much-needed fun. 

❝ How did you know I'd be here, anyway? Aren't most people at that early Halloween party? ❞

#bbysttr #Ღ ᴡᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ; ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ. #Ღ ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴜʀɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟᴀʙ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ; ᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ᴍᴀɪɴ. #I HAVE MISSED YOU GRANDPA #i am sorry if this sucks but #AHHH #i have a lot of feelings <3333

[equalseleventhirds]

👉👈 am I allowed to ask to hear more about why there's no fatal flaws in tma because it's making my brain go whrrr

mostly bcos like, Classically, a fatal flaw is one flaw within an otherwise p much perfectly heroic/favored-by-fate person, that they cannot/will not change, and that is the root cause of their tragic downfall

jon doesn't fit the classic greek hero archetype, like, at ALL (he'd have to be... an entirely different person tbh), and his downfall was not like, he fucked up as a person in one specific way (often like, a Moral Lesson way); it was about a conglomeration of events, of causes and effects, and him making difficult & limited choices with limited information.

like, i'm not saying jon has no flaws! it is in fact the plural of flaws that stops there being a Fatal One. also that they are smaller, that they are not the sole ultimate cause of his (or the world's) destruction, and that he does in fact, several times throughout the series, recognize some of his own flaws and actively work to change them, in ways that actually alter his path (his choice to trust people, for example, DOES change his arc. as does his choice to stop killing avatars. etc etc.)

like, a greek tragedy has a fairly specific formula? and it IS formulaic. tma doesn't fit that, bcos it's a much more modern story with modern nuances and a very different way of looking at the world than the ancient greeks had.

#long post #if u wanna use 'fatal flaw' in a different way then ok #fandom does tend to use academic words for a bunch of rly different things #but also a fatal flaw is generally like... a moral lesson. #like 'this totally awesome heroic guy fucked up bad in this ONE THING and it ruined him. don't be like him!' #i mean it's more complex than that tragedies were not kid's stories #and the greek views of morality were tied up also in fate & the gods and their whims #but tma absolutely does NOT do that stance on moral lessons in jon's arc #not... that way anyway.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Little Hope

(Platonic SBI Famliy x child reader)

Request 6: An imagine or Drabble about sbi family x reader where the reader is the newest adoptee to the family and it turns out they sleepwalk! They do random things like moving stuff around, talking to empty air, and can sometimes end up waking up nowhere near their bed. Just harmless shenanigans that might be spooky at first but are ultimately funny and endearing in a way. 

Requested By: @0melodydrifter0​ 

When Phil brought home a little girl wrapped in a blanket Wilbur was pissed, another child his father had adopted that Phil couldn’t take care of, another child that would end up being his and Techno’s duty to raise. However, something was different in his father’s eyes as he held the young girl close to his chest, 

     “Dad?” Wilbur murmured an eyebrow raised suspiciously high on his head, “What’s that?” He watched his father wince a little cradling the toddler closer to him, 

     “Wilbur...this is (Y/n). She’s going to be your new little sister.” Wilbur grits his teeth and felt rage flood through his veins again, not at the little one, no he couldn’t blame the child for his father’s savior complex. “An old friend of mine village was raided, he asked for my help but by the time I got there everyone was dead, everyone except her.” Phil moved some stray hair out from the kid’s eyes, “I couldn’t leave her for dead Wilbur.” Wilbur’s face softened a little bit, now wasn’t the time to argue with his father, especially since he had just lost a friend. 

      “Could I...see her?” He asked hesitantly as Phil knelt down beside one of his eldest, Wilbur noted the girl had flecks of (h/c) hair on her forehead, her face was covered in soot and ash, he noted she had the brightest (e/c) eyes he’s ever seen. She was quiet, very different from Tommy already, she reached up and touched the side of Wilbur’s cheek with a pudgy hand. The boy was done for after that, vowing up and down that he’d be the best big brother in the world to her even if it killed him. 

Much better than Tommy and Techno too. 

Speaking of the first time Tommy and Techno met you it was quite the experience. Tommy basked in the fact of no longer being the youngest member of the family and Techno was quick to remind him the being the middle child was far worse. Tommy had called him a bitch and Phil told him not to curse in front of his sister which he huffed at, swearing to Phil that her first word would be fuck. 

He got hit on the back of his head for that comment. 

Technoblade was indifferent about that situation, saying orphans were cringe and that you smelled bad, Wilbur was okay with both of these outcomes. As he stated earlier he was going to be the favorite brother whether you knew it or not.

By the time you were ten years old Wilbur’s wish had come true, you stuck by his side and were a quiet staple in his life. He also spoiled you rotten, he made you songs and snuck you cookies when Phil wasn’t looking, he’d do anything to see that smile a smile on your face. However, much to his displeasure it seemed that both Technoblade and Tommy were encroaching on his little happy bubble with his sister. 

It started with Technoblade, he noticed you following him around more often than not. At first, the hybrid was annoyed, he’d lock you out of his room and force you away by threatening to cut off your fingers if you didn’t leave him alone. However, that only made you cry and it made Techno panic if Phil heard you crying he’d be a dead man, and if Wilbur heard he’d be double dead. He began to try to hush you frantically, you didn’t calm down until he stated he would hang out with you a little longer. It shut you up immediately, oh you were a sneaky little shit, he could respect that. He decided he read to you if that was alright, you nodded eagerly, and he carried you into his room. You were a kid of few words and Technoblade could respect that, he pulled out a story about some of the ancient Greek Gods and Goddesses. Figuring the Art of War was probably too much for a ten-year-old, surprisingly he enjoyed himself. You were eager to learn and enjoyed the stories way more than he thought you would, okay maybe you bonded just a little. He had taken to calling you Moirai the greek goddess of destiny, not only that but Technoblade had started bringing you gifts from his adventures, something he never did for anyone else.

Therefore Wilbur was feeling VERY threatened and Technoblade LOVED it. 

However, while the both of them were having their little pissing contest they didn’t notice their younger brother swooping in to join the fight for your attention. As the eldest were at war with themselves, Tommy had taken to sneaking you out of the house to cause trouble by his side. After all, no sister of his was going to be boring like Wilbur and Technoblade, she was going to be as awesome as he was if he had anything to say about it. So when he snuck you out one night against their wishes when they were too busy to notice he decided to take full advantage of that opportunity. He adored hearing your enthusiastic giggles as he tore through the forest with you on his shoulders. 

You were typically a very quiet child, so to hear you laugh because of him made Tommy preen with delight. Your fingers were twisted in his blonde locks as you steered him like a horse, it hurt like hell but so long as it kept you steady he really didn’t mind. 

The joy didn’t last long because Wilbur and Technoblade had found them not soon after he escaped their clutches. Techno plucked you off his shoulders and held you in his arms, you let out a little whine of disappointment and Tommy frowned,

     “Oh come on Technoblade don’t be an asshole!” 

     “Don’t curse in front of (Y/n), Tommy.” Wilbur hissed hitting him on the back of his head, “you can’t just run off with her it’s dangerous!”

     “I can protect her just fine you bitch!” 

     “Oh please, you can barely protect yourself.” Technoblade scoffed as you began to play with his pink hair, hating the tense atmosphere. Tommy snarled at his brother and moved to punch him in the chest but Techno was quick to sidestep them, “nice one genius.” 

     “FUCK OFF!”

You let out a displeased whine and covered your ears at the volume Tommy shouted, 

      “Shut up Tommy,” Wilbur hissed “You’re way too loud and you’re upsetting her.”

     “WE WERE HAVING A LOVELY TIME UNTIL YOU FUCKERS RUINED IT!” 

     “Tom-Tom please shush,” You pressed a finger to your mouth in distress, mimicking a hushing movement. His face faltered, his voice lowering in volume as he apologized softly towards you. “Thank you,” a big smile spread across your lips, and all three brothers visibly relaxed.

     “Alright little one,” Wilbur spoke tenderly running a hand through your hair his heart-melting a little as you nuzzled against it. “Let’s get you home, it’s way past your bedtime.” You groaned in distaste falling against Techno’s shoulder with a soft thud, the man chuckled softly as all three brothers walked back home. 

It was about two months after that when your happy facade came crashing down around you, it had been a particularly rough day. Everyone seemed to be busy with one thing or another and you were left to your own devices and thoughts. They all came rushing back to you, the memories of the day your village got raided and your bio parents passed away. Wilbur was the first to notice something was wrong and had asked Phil to check up on you, so when Phil finally got around to ask what was wrong you burst into tears. That’s when they discovered you apparently remembered more of the incident than you let on. It broke their hearts to see you so upset over something you had no control over, but like everyone else in their family of misfits, you blamed yourself for simply surviving the tragedy. 

They had made sure to coddle you the rest of the day, Technoblade had made sure to make you your favorite food for dinner. Phil and Wilbur tried to keep you busy with music and potion brewing and Tommy played some discs to help you fall asleep. You did so smiling and his heart soared, point to Tommy for getting you to fall asleep with a smile. 

Your found family had gathered that night to discuss what they should do with you moving forward. Phil had declared they all do their best to keep you distracted the next few days, preferably in shifts if that was needed. Wilbur offered to spend the morning with you, he wanted to visit Niki and Sally and both of them loved you if anyone would cheer you up they would. Tommy offered the afternoon and he could bring Tubbo over and you all could play soldiers, Techno said he’d handle the nights with Phil. 

Everyone settled into bed to get a much-needed rest, out of all the brothers Technoblade was the lightest sleeper. So when he woke up in a cold sweat with you standing over his bed he almost shit himself. You had a glassy look in your (e/c) eyes, 

     “(Y/n)? What are you doing? Do you know how late it is?” Technoblade scolded reaching out to grab his glasses, you didn’t respond to him which made his nose scrunch up. “Did you have a nightmare?” His voice got quieter as he reached out to cup your cheek, still no response from you. “Kid?” He sat up as you turned away from him to wander back out the door, “what just happened?” He murmured scratching under his chin, he’d have to bring this up tomorrow. 

Wilbur was concerned and immediately wanted to seek a doctor, especially because you had no remembrance of the event. Phil ran a hand through his hair in thought, “could it be sleepwalking?” 

     “(Y/n)’s too cool to sleepwalk. What the fuck do you mean?” Tommy scoffed and you frowned eyebrows furrowing together. 

     “Well it makes sense, doesn’t it? She doesn’t remember walking around but it clearly happened. Hopefully, it was only a one-off occurrence and she’ll never do it again.”

      “Is it bad if I do?” You whispered shuffling on your feet suddenly self-conscious, “Tommy doesn’t seem to think it’s good.” They all glared at the teenager who winced and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Phil knelt down in front of you and cupped your cheeks with his hands, 

     “It’s not bad. We just have to take some extra precautions for you is all, it’s perfectly normal especially after the trauma you went through.” You bit your lip and nodded within his hands, “Tommy’s an idiot-”

      “Hey!-

      “That doesn’t make you any less of a person and it doesn’t make you any more abnormal either,” Phil assured as Techno began snickering behind him, he turned his head to shoot him a look.

     “What? It’s just funny assuring her she’s normal when no one in this house is normal.” Technoblade waved his hand, “we’re all a bunch of misfits- don’t give me that look you know it’s true. Half of us are hybrids and the other half are gremlins,” He motioned to Tommy again who made an indigent sound tired of being the butt of everyone’s teasing. “So she’s never gonna be normal, but she’s always gonna be one of us and we’ll kill anyone who even thinks about teasing her.” 

Phil smiled sheepishly sweat gathering on his brow, “Let’s not kill anyone Techno at least not now. Especially if they’re children.”

     “Now, now dad, Technoblade has a point.”

     “Wilbur.” Phil scolded as Tommy’s face lit up, 

     “Can I punch a child?” You burst into laughter at Phil’s horrified expression, 

     “No Tommy. No, you cannot!” 

     “It’s okay papa I give them explicit permission to beat anyone up who fucks with me!” You shouted and Tommy’s face once again lit up, he grabbed you out of Phil’s arms and held you close. 

     “You said Fuck! I’m so proud I’m teaching you so well!” He spun you around only causing you to laugh harder as the older members of your family glared at Tommy, “Now say it again!”

Wilbur plucked you from Tommy’s arms glaring at his brother, “No. No, she won’t say it again. That’s a bad word you can’t say it till you’re older.” A pout settled on your lips as you crossed your arms in frustration. 

     “But Tommy gets to say it all the time.” 

     “And he’s older.” Phil let out a chuckle at Wilbur's response watching you slump forward with a loud groan of absolute torment. 

You didn’t sleepwalk again until a few months later, everyone had relatively assumed it was a one-off occurrence and their watchful eye was lifted. In the meantime Tommy had started to maybe sort of sneak out; he had his bag all packed and planned to meet Tubbo in the park. They both wanted to go monster hunting on their own, it wasn’t their first rodeo but it still wasn’t something he was supposed to do without his dad's permission.

Tommy didn’t give a shit about permission though. 

Obviously. 

He grabbed his sword from its place in the living room, Tommy held it up with a wicked smile. It shone in the dim light and he could see the reflection of his face inside it, it must’ve been freshly polished. Tommy put his sword in its holster and turned around, immediately letting out a startled yelp slapping his hands over his mouth. You were standing behind him eyes glassy as you blinked blearily at him, 

     “(Y/n)?” Tommy whisper hissed glaring at you harshly, “What the fuck are you doing awake?” You didn’t respond, only walking past him reaching for a sword of your own, his eyes widened frantically and steered you away from the sharp weaponry. “Are you sleepwalking?” Tommy asked in mild concern before a smirk came across his face, “Guess I don’t have to worry about you snitching huh?” He slowly led you into Phil’s room opening the door and shoving you in before shutting the door. Tommy made quick work of grabbing everything else needed before heading out of the house to meet up with Tubbo. 

Phil woke up to you standing over him, looming, and it almost sent him into a heart attack. He knew immediately you were sleepwalking, “Oh honey...come ‘ere.” He pulled you into bed with him and watched your eyes drift close and snuggle up to him. At least you were safe with him, so long as you didn’t start unlocking doors and injuring yourself they could handle this. 

After telling the other brothers about the incident last night Wilbur was only growing more concerned about your sleep state. He offered to take you to the doctor but Phil brushed him off, saying that normally this thing sorts themself out on their own. Since he was feeling rather protective Wilbur slept in the living room the next few nights just to make sure you didn’t go wandering off. Plus, Phil seemed to not only approve of but also grateful for the idea; so long as the old man could get much-needed rest he didn’t seem to care. Another week flew by with no problems, and he decided to spend one last night in the living room just to triple-check you weren’t going to sleepwalk. 

He woke up to the sound of a hooting owl and soft banging against the wall, he tossed his hand over the back of the couch and he blinked blearily. Unlike his twin, he didn’t exactly have the razor-sharp reflexes that Technoblade was gifted with. Wilbur grabbed his glasses from the coffee table and shoved them on his face haphazardly. 

What was that noise? Did Tommy sneak out again? He turned towards the opened door and it took a few moments to process why the door was open. Wilbur scratched the top of his head in confusion before his eyes snapped open in blatant realization. He tossed the blankets off the couch and scrambled out the door. Bare footprints were made in the mud leading away from your house, tiny you sized footprints. 

Oh, he was so fucked. How long ago did you leave? Are you alright? It’s so cold and you weren’t wearing shoes.

Wilbur made sure to grab both of your jackets and shoved his feet in his boots before heading out the door. He saw his breath out in front of him and winced you must be so cold, hopefully, you weren’t dead if you were he was totally in big trouble. He followed your footprints until they stopped at the edge of the woods, he looked around frantically and anxiety prickled at his skin. If the trail went cold here there was no way he would be able to find you, what if you woke up in a completely different part of the SMP. Or worse yet what if someone kidnaps you and takes you away from them? 

He entered the woods calling out your name desperately even though you wouldn’t respond if you were still asleep. Wilbur adjusted his glasses noticing a soft trail of broken leaves, he decided it was his best bet to follow them. Eventually, he came to a bit of a clearing in the woods that led up to a large cliff, Wilbur’s heart sunk. He felt his breathing stop as he walked towards the edge of the cliff, slowly like he didn’t want to know if he thinks what happened to you, happened to you. At the very top of the cliff is when he saw it, the bracelet you always wore on your wrist it was made of gold and Technoblade had gifted it to you after an adventure he had with Phil. He pulled the jewelry close to his chest and let out a shaky breath, tears swelled in his eyes as he peeked over the edge of the cliff. The poor boy couldn’t even see the bottom, Phil would have to fly down and search it, he was going to throw up. 

     “Wilby…?” 

Oh god, he could still hear your sweet, little voice. 

     “What are you doing? Are you crying?”

Wait, that was your voice!

He whipped around to find you rubbing your tired eyes, your feet were bare and you were shivering. Wilbur tore through the bush and scooped you up in his arms, cuddling you close to him as he peppered kisses all over your face. “Ewww Wilby stop!” You said through giggles pushing his face away from your own, 

     “I’m so glad you’re alright. You were sleepwalking again, I thought…” His voice cracked a little as you tilted your head. You looked around his shoulder and eyed the cliff wearily, you nuzzled against his neck and squeezed him tightly. 

     “I’m sorry…” 

     “It’s not your fault.” He whispered against you, “let's get you home though alright? Want to have a sleepover with me?”

     “Please. I’m scared I’ll wander off if I sleep alone again.” Wilbur nodded, running his fingers through your messy hair. For a girl your age, it was important to make sure you get a good night's sleep. As he carried you back home you ended up falling back asleep in his arms, he had a lot of time to think. He couldn’t believe that a few years ago he had despised the girl in his arms, thought of you as just another stowaway Phil brought home. You had managed to melt his heart and worm your way into not just his brain but his other brother’s brains as well. You had brought so much joy and happiness into their lives. Before you entered their lives there was arguing every night. Tommy and Techno were always at each other’s throats, Wilbur wasn’t any better, to be honest, but then you were there and everything changed. They had to get along and watch their language around you, you weirdly brought them together. Made them better and he couldn’t imagine what their lives would be like without their little hope.

#sbi x reader #platonic x reader #family dynamics #found family #sbi x child reader #sleepy boys inc x reader #dreamsmp x reader #dreamsmp x you #dreamsmp drabbles #dreamsmp imagines #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #minecraft youtubers x reader #minecraft youtuber x you #platonic wilbur soot x reader #platonic technoblade x reader #platonic tommyinnit x reader #platonic philza x reader #minecraft x reader #minecraft x you #minecraft fanfiction #platonic #found family x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #sbi inc x reader

[saphirered]

Percy and Bad first times? I love these asks thank you!

I do not know why it took me approximately an eternity to write this but I finished it. I hope it will have been worth the wait. 😘

(Percy)

The moment Percy walked into your life you thought he was very much the egotistical rich kid. First impressions weren’t great as he concluded that wether or not you came from money or status, you rebelled against the social norms of high society. You two were polar opposites and anyone who said opposites attract; you were the proof against that claim for the longest time.

At the realisation you wouldn’t be leaving any time soon Percy tried to school you in manners for his sake correcting your behaviour and even words like you were some insolent child. You did not take this well and the argument that followed, unavoidable. Many things were said, some neither of you are proud of and you didn’t speak for days unless it were some snide remarks.

Then it came to a job to interact with high society people and you got to show Percy how wrong he was as you properly addressed the people, held your posture correctly and picked every word eloquently. Taken aback by your complete 180 in behaviour a conversation was in order. You got the pleasure telling Percy his ‘lessons’ had nothing to do with this and unlike some people you’d rather not be a pompous ass with a superiority complex like some people.

This lead Percy to dive into some research trying to find your name and family name, tapping into all resources at his disposal to figure you out telling himself you might be a threat if you were hiding things. He was not prepared to find out what happened with your family and faced you with the fact he found your past. The first one on one you had was Percy quite literally cornering you so you couldn’t avoid him. Admittedly not his proudest moment. You needed to talk so talk you did.

Telling Percy your story and trusting him with it might have been the first time you’ve told anyone since you left your home. In turn to set the record straight he told you what had happened with his own family. You came to the conclusion you’re not so different after all. A mutual understanding and trust formed between the two of you, though your arguments did not end with you disagreed on a matter. Rarely did you give the other the silent treatment and instead came to an agree-to-disagree conclusion if compromise was not an option. In time, they’d cease to be arguments all together and simply turn into conversations.

At this point you might even have considered yourselves friends. You found yourselves spending more time together. Percy was raised the so-mani-eth child extremely unlikely to be the heir of his family but with the tragedy that befell them, only he and his sister remained. You were raised to continue your family’s legacy but had lost everything. When Whitestone was returned to the surviving De Rolo’s you promised to give aide in any way you could.

Vox Machina, taken in a different direction you stayed behind with Cassandra. You took no titles or lands no matter how many times, Cassandra and the council offered them. In his time away from you and his home he came to realise he’d begun missing your company, the conversations and having to be the smart and semi-responsible one of the group. Not only that, you’ve been a rock in the current that’s his chaos and with you away he feels he’s more likely to fall to the temptations placed in front of him. Proof of that; the trip to the city of Dis.

When this realisation hits Percy he’ll take any opportunity to spend more time with you. He doesn’t inject himself into your daily life but any time there’s a reason for him to be present he’ll take it. Him coming clean about the contract and handing it to you for safekeeping trusting you that no matter the circumstance you’ll never give it to him, you absolutely go apeshit on him. How could he be so damn stupid. A deal with a devil? Really?! All the what ifs… It made you realise your anger and disappointment came from a place of affection.

You made Percy promise he’d tell you when he’s thinking of doing something stupid he’ll tell you before doing the thing. Before he leaves for another adventure or comes back from one you’ll go on a walk, have dinner or just relax somewhere. Sometimes you’ll talk, sometimes sit in silence, whatever you feel like in that moment. You’d begun holding hands, hugging or a kiss to the cheek before departure or upon return, tiny displays of affection.

You were informed Percy had died, but as Grog told you, he got better. Reasonably so you freaked out but you were also aware of the risk of the adventurer lifestyle, more accurately the lifestyle of someone with enemies like Percy. That didn’t mean you didn’t feel like your heart just shattered in that moment. You cared for Percy until he recovered. It’s the first time you truly saw Percy weak, not of mind wavering to a pact with an entity or the likes, but mentally done.

Percy first realised he might hold more than affections for you when you promised him that you’d always have one more thing for him to do. No matter how messed up the world looked, there’d always be a place for him with you. He’s not stupid enough to think this doesn’t come out of a deep affection of your own but he can’t be too sure it’s love either. It’s obvious you care for him, and maybe you do love him but are you in love with him? He’s not sure. Is he in love with you? He’s unsure. He knows he cares about you immensely and loves you just as much and that’s enough for him.

Percy is a man of impulse. This comes in especially handy when someone lacks courage to do something. He doesn’t approach you for your first ‘official’ date. It was just like any other outing you’d gone on or time you spent together except for the fact Percy asked you out, letting slip it was a date. If just asking you this was already so difficult he definitely would need a bottle of courage or two admitting his feelings out loud.

You’re clever enough and know how to read people enough that you weren’t oblivious to Percy’s recent changes in behaviour towards you. You were also clever enough to place them and, when courage fails you’re not one to beat around the bush. You called him out and half fearing you’d turn him down, he was proven the opposite when you pulled him in by the ascot and kissed him. Surprising but not unwanted.

Seeing no need in defining your relationship for others, you also didn’t ease the others into this development. Watching you kiss Percy passionately before he was off on another adventure leaving everyone around very surprised. So surprised they missed the mark on Keyleth’s transport via plants. Bombarded with questions about when or how this happened Percy didn’t want to indulge them with answers and instead spent more time with you.

Of course you had shared sleeping spaces before. You weren’t strangers to sharing a bed but you can comfortably say, it became much more comfortable after you first shared your bed together as lovers in the afterglow, waking up like a sweaty mess. Sharing baths after became the norm to freshen up and relax. The perfect excuse to spend more time together and have everyone else gagging after the look you’d share when asked why you missed breakfast… and lunch…

It took a long while before you first found yourselves able to exchange I love you’s but when danger came knocking at your door and you were thrown back into the fight for Tal’Dorei with Vox Machina’s allies it was now or never. Seeing things go south you got the pleasure of teaming up with a brass dragon to kick some undead ass.

“Before we both do something incredibly stupid I want you to know I love you.” Simple and efficient and to the point.

“I am tempted to hold these words for myself until after we’ve saved the world. Call it motivation to stay alive but since you made such an effort already. I love you too, dear.” Asshole. What did you expect. The feeling was mutual.

(Caduceus)

The first time you met Caduceus you’d killed someone in not too far out from Shady Creek. The down side, you killed someone important. They came after you, you protected yourself but then you had a body to deal with. You heard about the cursed place, and decided to just bury it there. You didn’t expect to find a dopey pink haired firbolg to be living at the heart of the place. He was surprisingly helpful in burying the body you brought to the point you were almost sure you’d be buried right next to your victim soon. Luckily for you you were proven wrong.

You couldn’t really return to Shady Creek and it’s not like you had much of a home there so you wandered the forests hunting and gathering for food and warmth at night avoiding the cursed places and dangers as much as you could. You couldn’t and returned to the safety of the Blooming Grove. So you made a deal, you’d stay with the firbolg, help him out at his graveyard, cemetery, whatever it is and he’d give you a place to sleep at night.

You resorted to staying inside the small temple sleeping on the floor but soon enough, Caduceus invited you to just take one of the beds in the house and stick around instead of leave at dawn to find food, removing some weeds, watering some plants, and return at dusk. No more wandering you fell into more domestic tasks solidifying your roommate life with the man. It had been a while since either of you were in (good) company so you appreciated anything that could talk and wasn’t trying to murder you.

In your time spent with Caduceus you heard bits and pieces about his family but what didn’t add up for you were the beds and belongings he didn’t touch or did so with care to keep them clean. When you got the courage to ask Caduceus told you the story of Clay, Stone and Dust and how his family left to save the Grove and perhaps even the Savalirwood as a whole. It felt odd to actually talk to someone about them that’s not him to himself. He appreciated your compassion, telling him that they’d come back home and with the stories he told you hope you’d get to meet them one day.

Caduceus’ expert prepping of meals left you wanting to be able to do the same. Of course he was happy to teach you and with his guidance you cooked your first meal. It wasn’t the best but definitely beat anything you could make on the road by yourself. The spices are to die for. You found yourself falling into the habit of cooking together; a nice way to end the day.

You were having a particularly tough day and ready to just curl up and let the world consume you, there was no hiding from your friendly firbolg roommate. He knew what’s up but gave you a chance to come to him. You didn’t so he came to you. He didn’t say anything, just sat next to you with a cup of tea, set another one in front of you and stayed quiet until you were ready to talk or get back to your business if you didn’t. He wasn’t going to pry in personal matters unless you asked him.

An encounter with a nasty creature you were unable to scare off and away had Caduceus pinned to the ground. With enough courage and some knowledge of physical combat you managed to get the creature off and injure it enough so it fled. Pulling Caduceus to his feet you were engulfed in a hug with a thank you. As is common knowledge Caduceus hugs are the best hugs you found yourself asking for more. Caduceus wasn’t at all opposed to keep this a thing as he’d always enjoyed hugs.

With the two of you growing closer, living together you decided to sit down and talk about what you had and where it was going as neither of you wanted to accidentally lead on the other or set expectations that could not be met. Neither of you were looking for romantic love or romance at all. Some might refer to you as bestest of friends or life partners but that didn’t really seem to fit. You’re just you and Caduceus is him and you liked hugging and spending time together, going through the motions of life and that’s all you needed.

When the Nein came along looking for help, Caduceus offered for you to stay behind, the Blooming Grove was just as much your home as it was his but you went along anyway. You’d never left the forest. Never travelled south either but many adventures found their way to you and you’d be spending them with you with Caduceus through all the ups and downs. The Nein got so used to your dynamic they never questioned it. It was just something that existed and was happening and quite frankly, one of the few normal things about you and the firbolg.

When the day came you found the Clay family you got to be there for Caduceus as he had for you. Meeting them for the first time they lived up to the stories you’d been told. The Clays were very happy to meet Caduceus’ friends but upon learning about your connection to him they were relieved he hadn’t been all alone for all those years they were gone and had some company. They offered you to come back with them but just like Caduceus, there was still some unfinished business and these people, the Mighty Nein still needed your help.

Then, when everything came to a close, you returned to the Blooming Grove and spent the rest of your days there living content. It had been your home and would continue to be your home. The Clays became your family and for the first time in forever you could see yourself content at home leaving with Caduceus to travel at times but always return to that little spot in the Savalirwood.

#critrole x reader #critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #mighty nein #caduceus x reader #caduceus clay #critical role #percival x reader #percy x reader #vox machina x reader #vox machina

[ganymedesclock]

These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user. 

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist. 

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

-

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

#disability #writing ruminations #readmore