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#i mean she's not wrong
shayennelovesbooks · 7 months
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Violet introducing Xaden
Violet: That's Xaden Riorson, Wingleader of the Fourth Wing
Xaden: Hello
Violet: He threatened to kill me
Xaden: um
Violet: and then we had sex
Xaden:...
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retrokid616 · 10 months
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imogen : i don't usually drink but
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cosmicstarbrownie · 8 months
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I’m not even 100 pages into good omens and an eleven year old girl just called aziraphale the f slur i am absolutely gobsmacked
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Gabriel: “I am such an idiot.”
(long pause)
Nathalie: “If you’re waiting for me to disagree, it’s gonna be a long day.”
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Just explained to my mum why today's sobh is so devastating and her response was "oh dear". Yes mum. Oh dear indeed.
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rcmclachlan · 1 year
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Petition to make this the official Netflix description
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brazilspill · 10 months
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Story time!
Several years ago the Brazilian government did an extensive study on the health of its older citizens.
My eightysomething grandma participated in the study, and when I called her to say hi she started telling me about it. Her description of things went something like this:
When they were testing for senility and cognitive ability the nurse held up a ball and asked me what shape it was. And I was like "It's a sphere." and they were like "I would have accepted 'a circle' but that works too." And I was like "But it's NOT a circle, it's a sphere. Circles are two-dimensional and this is 3D. Get it right."
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I was in a writing workshop this week. The piece in question was a YA novel set in the 90s, and the agent leading the discussion very kindly, very gently, said, "For kids today...that's historical fiction."
You could SEE everyone's soul leave their bodies.
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gardenfeather · 3 months
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Taylor Swift: Shade never made anybody less gay!
me, sitting in the pitch darkness listening to Taylor Swift: yes can confirm
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literallybyronic · 10 months
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jesseract · 4 months
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Me, extremely jet lagged after not having slept at all last night: I'm going to take two ambien and go to bed at like 8 tonight
Me: Hey, do you remember that comic that had all those ambien walrus strips?
My coworker: ...no, that sounds like an American thing
(In case anyone is curious: behold the ambien walrus)
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boyfae · 5 months
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coworker sent this in the group chat and i’m still trying to decipher what it could mean
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ihavemanyhusbands · 1 year
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me: i don't have daddy issues lol
my very own mother, immediately: girl yes u do.......
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thewilddoghaunts · 6 months
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Today my coworkerjust looked me dead in the face and said "You remind me of my old chemistry teacher! He dressed like you. He was a nerd." 💀
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hoarding-stories · 1 year
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"Our audience is super horny, let's be honest"
Reading us for filth there Marisha
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Getting back to watching/re-watcing season 8 of MST3K for fanfic note-taking, and I think it just gave me my favourite dialogue exchange about the butterfly effect.
For context, Bobo fell into a wormhole when he went out into space to pee.
PEARL: Let's get in there and get that monkey.
BRAIN GUY: May I ask why?
PEARL: What happens if Bobo causes one of them weird numbers where he goes back in the past and steps on a butterfly or something, and then 'cause of that, mammals as we know them never evolve, and then because of that, mankind never invents slot machines, and my favorite hobby goes straight down the toity, huh?
BRAIN GUY: Your logic is irrefutable.
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