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baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

Lmao the choreographer posted about the SMN issue on his story and even commented 👁👄👁 I wonder if we hear anything about it, any apologies hmmm.

Omg do you remember that one fan call from DV era when Hwa said someone hated his long hair??? He talked about it again and wtf, but he likes long hairstyles, so let's cheer! I'm so happy that Atiny reassured him. Whenever he says he's anxious to reveal his new hair because "Atiny like his black hair the most" I'm like "BABY BOY I'M TEAM ITCHY SCALP I SUPPORT ALL YOR DYEING ENDEAVOURS!"

Seonghwa content spam: Please I- ... I'M GONNA EAT HIM FIRST STOPPPP. DON'T MAKE ME CRI and this? Harvard business major/class clown Park Seonghwa

We also got fox Woo today, so I win, I love my Foxyoung agenda

Right so Hwa is a Want enthusiast, we need more of them, taste taste 💕

Ksidisusiagsjahayhaa right, I don't think we're escaping that house, we're gonna become ghosts together I think lmaooo

I watched all Twilight films for shits and giggles, but sometimes didn't even shit nor giggle cause??? Those TVD edits would make me feral if I was 17 again aisuaidgjahashgagaga. TB is an older show... bestie making me feel old once again, okaaaay

PLL started pretty well it was a different type of a teen show, but then went batshit crazy and I kinda admire them for being so unhinged, but also wanna murder them for wasting my time lol

Look at this!

THAT SPOILER WHAT AM I READING?!?!?!? Are you crazyyyyyyyyy Baek 😭😭😭😭 There's only O N E (1) TRUE PAIRING IN MY HEART AND YOU'RE NOT TAKING THEM AWAY FROM ME 🔫🔫🔫🔫. No but I really liked that lil snippet, angst and witchiness alright 💔

I like darker Sunmi a loooot, though I actually enjoyed all of her recent comebacks, she suits all concepts. I think some Dreamcatcher songs may fit miss villain Y/N, but I would have to dig. And how about Monster by Irene & Seulgi? Does Y/N consider herself a little monster? Alsooooo, I hope THIS villain never dies <333

Korean shows continue with their wacky ass camera angles and shitty sound, like HOW HARD IT IS TO DO THINGS PROPERLY. The way they ushered some groups off the stage and played pre-recorded version yet gave BTS so much time... I see. Like no hate to BTS, but it surely felt like a show for them and Armys...

Aaannnnnd my friend's friend might have fallen for Kai actually, whoops I'm so sorry girl 🤭

Lmaooooo the jealous is sick for real 😭

Confession: I have purchased some Mingi photocards so there's that... - DV 💖

hi hello!!!!

Lmao the choreographer posted about the SMN issue on his story and even commented 👁👄👁 I wonder if we hear anything about it, any apologies hmmm.

the choreographer posted more 👁👁 the way all the threads are being deleted after the choreographer spoke up <3 love to see it,,, wooyoung really said be humbled 😭😭 VATA LOOKED AT IT SO HE BETTER BE APOLOGIZING FHDHFB and bbt

screams wooyoung etl era but in a culinary school <3

I DO!!!! MF HOW CAN U HATE BLACK HAIR AND LONG???? UNGRATEFUL COMEON 😭😭😭 so glad that atiny said other wise <3 besties deserved a another fan call for that <33 NO LITERALLY I GET THAT BLACK HAIR IS SUPERIOR BUT LIKE WHAT HE WANTED TO DYE IT A DIFFERENT COLOUR 😭😭😭🤚🏼 #TEAMITCHYSCALP

Seonghwa content spam: Please I- ... I'M GONNA EAT HIM FIRST STOPPPP. DON'T MAKE ME CRI and this? Harvard business major/class clown Park Seonghwa //// We also got fox Woo today, so I win, I love my Foxyoung agenda

oh that harvard one makes me want to write a uni au for him so bad 😩 he goes to harvard and so does the yn but his reputation is like why’s he at this big of a school but his grades say otherwise 🔫🔫 WOOYOUNG’S RED HAIR IS SUCH A GOOD DECISION WHOEVER DID THAT THEIR BANK 📈📈📈 foxyoung ayo, furry?

Right so Hwa is a Want enthusiast, we need more of them, taste taste 💕

PARK SEONGHWA IN A RED SUIT PERFORMING WANT BEST FRIEND WE WILL PASS AWAY FHQNDHWKHDQKDHKQ

Ksidisusiagsjahayhaa right, I don't think we're escaping that house, we're gonna become ghosts together I think lmaooo

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 if he’s a ghost with u, stuck with u i think u won at life

DHDNDBDBDN TWILIGHT IS A GUILTY PLEASURE but some concepts?????? MAN WHEN IN THE FIRST MOVIE HE KEPT COVERING HIS NOSE BC SHE SMELT I WOULDVE MOVED SCHOOLS CHANGED NAMES BC THATS SO EMBARRASSING I WOILD NOT COME TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY 😭😭😭 jBDWNDBSN THE TB EP’S QUALITY REALLY GOT ME 📈📉📈📉📈

PLL started pretty well it was a different type of a teen show, but then went batshit crazy and I kinda admire them for being so unhinged, but also wanna murder them for wasting my time lol

i feel like it started well but they kept milking the plot and it turned out unhinged fbfbf LMFAOOOO DBANBDKW it was hard to find unhinged shows, but miss alex russo from wizards was my definition of unhinged <3 i have to tell u this but i wqs just listening to a podcast while answering this and they mentioned TB in it AND THERES A MIND READING IN IT???

Look at this!

STOPPPP I WAS HOPIMG SOMEONE WOULD PUT THEM TOGETHER I WAS GONMA MAKE AN RDIT WITH TAEMIN KAI KEY TAEYEON AND SEULGI BC THEYD FIT SO WELL THE EVIL 🤌🏼🤌🏼😮‍💨 GODBLESS THIS PERSON FOR CREATING ART

HELLO FBWNDHVDKC <3 idk if u kNow bUT SEONGHWA DOES NOT LIKE Y/N 😭😭😭 ONE TRUE PAIRING WHO???? HONGJOONG FINALLY GETTING A CHANCE??? OR SAN CONFESSING <33 GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW BUT WE ARE CLOSE TOO,,, unfortunately if the ending is unhappy, some (main characters) might die <3 mIGHT,,, misss yn so witchy, bestie does magic and fights but is always somehow the bad guy <3 y/n’s what if taemin’s lore was a person was,,,

ive only heard a snip of her recent cb but it sounded really good! honourable mention but chungha’s dark concepts 🤌🏼🤌🏼😮‍💨 DREAMCATCHERS WONDERLAND FITS AND SIYEON’S VOICE ESP ENTRANCING AND PARADISE (this ones insane good omg) y/n is not exactly a monster but evil in a sense theres so much sadness and situations yn’s dealt as a young person that it grew it into y/n being separated from the rest of the civilians,,, hence the darker, secretive, magic-ey and harshness to the personality <3 kind of like lana del ray’s young snsd beautiful STOP THATS SUCH A GOOD SONG????? WHAAAT BESTIE IM DBDBBD OBSESSED HOLDON ONN DBDBD also i think instrumentals work really well to describe y/n’s feelings! like those hobbit background musics

i do think, flame of love would be the title track of this fic + sayonara hotori + monologue + shadow + heaven + identity!!

id like to share this bc this is vv much like the hwa in the fic!! or mayhaps even duke

NO LITERALLY DBDHDH BRO THEY PAY U TO DO UR JOB WELL WHATS GOING ON 😭😭😭 HOW HARD IS IT WHY U SO LAZY 😭🤚🏼 omg literally!!! it was such a mess,, i mean tbh hasn’t it been like that since 2018, esp after mama, ever since sm and yg stopped attending it’s literally a concert for them a whole reason why i never watch them BUT ATEEZ

Aaannnnnd my friend's friend might have fallen for Kai actually, whoops I'm so sorry girl 🤭

MISS GIRLIE NEVER ESCAPING THE DEVIL ONCE UR INTRIGUED HE AINT EVER LEAVING U ALONE 😭😭😭

Lmaooooo the jealous is sick for real 😭

possessive men <<<< ateez being possessive men <3

Confession: I have purchased some Mingi photocards so there's that... - DV 💖

IS THIS A MINGI ERA I HEAR COMING???? HELLOOOO ?????

and uh???

BOBA A WHOLE BOBA

sorry what the fuck is this bestie

if u want a choi san bodyguard, breathe

ANON ANON ANONEBQNHDJWHDWK

BETSIE SOOHYUK SOONYUK FJWKDJWKDLW THIS IS SEONGHWAS FATHER

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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nrth-wind-a · 2 years

Video

you cannot hunt a god.

#[SO i was going thru my old video files trying to delete projects i won't finish and finish ones i like]#[and i remembered this video existed]#[and i don't see it in any of my archives for blogs where i've posted videos before]#[which means it hasn't been posted before as far as i'm aware]#[so]#[enjoy]#[sorry for the video spam today these are just the only things i have brain to work on right now]#[in other news if anyone knows of something that might go well to 'touch down' by apashe lemme know]#[that song slaps and i love editing action sequences to beats]#[also i know rott sucked okay just hear me out: punchy robots]#[i hate that that's what they chose for rott but...... fight cool]#[and i love bellroc so much]#{i hold with those who favor fire}#{musings}

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txbbo · 3 years

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I've been debating making this because this is definitely not what my blog is known for and I was worried that people wouldn't want to see it, but with the amount of shit im seeing on twitter it's compelled me to make this because I'm so frustrated.

I feel like I could make 100 posts about 'Cancel Culture' and it wouldn't be enough, so I'm just going to focus on what caused me to write this tonight - the Tommy situation. *Warning for a VERY long post below*

To be clear, Tommy has been in 'hot water' on twitter for the past couple weeks, roughly starting with the KSI collaboration where he made a joke about dream stans.

Last week, when the SBI 'exposing account' got made and twitter hyped it up, someone made a Tommy account and made a thread of things he needed to be '''educated''' on: https://twitter.com/idktommyinnit/status/1379158964148002821?s=20

I'll let you read it for yourself (and come to your own conclusion) but to me.... half of this stuff does not require a twitter thread? Breaking it down accusation by accusation:

1) 'The Mexican accent' - the clips show he is clearly only doing it when copying big Q (who famously exaggerates his own accent) and there is zero malicious intent (Big Q is also IN the 3 clips mentioned in the thread, and obviously didn't tell Tommy it was offensive). There's debates in the comments from people who think it is offensive and people who don't, so I'm not trying to pick a side. To avoid accidentally offending anyone, maybe it is best for him to stop, but the way twitter acts as if he was purposefully doing this to offend people is just not true.

2- 'Making a slave joke' - Even saying that feels wrong, because it suggests Tommy is doing something awful. Instead, they are referring to the 'bit' that Tommy, Techno, Tubbo and Ant were involved in, when Tommy and Techno took Tubbo and Ant as their slave. People are taking this vod and using it to accuse Tommy of being insensitive to Black people, but I think people are just assuming the worst. Slavery existed long before the transatlantic slave trade and still exists today. This is a role-play server - Tommy 'forced' Ant to work for him and used the word slave, which to me is exactly what was happening? People 'murder' others on the SMP, people 'kidnap' on the SMP, people are 'terrorists' on the SMP, and all happen without issue. To add, Ant is a WHITE man. Tommy taking a WHITE man as a slave is not something uber problematic.

3- 'His reply to Techno's 'murder is bad' tweet'. - I get people saying that Techno's initial tweet was insensitive, but saying Tommy's agreement to this from almost over a year ago is something notable and worth addressing is just super nitpicky and is clearly only in there to pad out the thread. It also makes me wonder what other CC's interacted with it and if THEY should be cancelled too (according to twitter).

4 - 'The saying slurs' tweet / jokes about 'whats the worst word you know' - This one I can kinda see how people might not like it. However, it's clearly a 'poke' at his friends, making them seem like bad people. To me, its in the same vein as 'Tubbo is a Tory' or when Tubbo shoots back that 'Tommy is a Nigel Farage fan'. They're obviously not, but its making fun of your friends by saying they are, and mockingly making them out out to be bad people.

5- 'Covid jokes' - People are taking jokes he made about him 'having covid' and saying he shouldn't joke about this, even going as far to linking it to asian hate crimes. I don't even know how to explain that that this is just? not a 'cancellable offence'? I'm sorry but if I hear anyone in my family coughing I make a little joke that 'they better not have covid' and I know other people do. I have someone in my family who is extremely vulnerable to Covid and if they caught it, would quite literally die, but I can understand that jokes like these are harmless. The whole internet had a running joke that we were in a 'panoramic' or 'Panera' or 'insert any word that sounds like pandemic.

This thread got a lot of attention and anything he tweeted afterwards was spammed with the link and there were so many people upset that he hadn't addressed it. I saw so many people say how 'upset' and 'disappointed' they were in him.

Going on to today, this happened: https://twitter.com/khasiid/status/1380611890104139776?s=20

I get it, it looks bad. But for context (which the tweet doesn't give), the reply was only up for less than a minute. It was obvious to me, even BEFORE Tommy addressed it in his stream (clip here: https://twitter.com/cowrpse/status/1380640046202593283?s=20 ) that it was a mistake. In the clip, he clearly acknowledges his mistake and seems embarrassed. To me, this situation should just be laid to rest because a mistake does not need this much attention, but twitter disagrees.

In case it wasn't obvious by now, the tide is turning against Tommy and people are less willing to ignore genuine mistakes and assume the worst.

Today, during his birthday stream people were clearly already waiting for him to mess up. Around half way through, he started saying 'finna' out of context and Tubbo joined in. This led to tons of tweets telling him he was misusing AAVE, and while there were plenty of people willing to be patient and educate, there were also people seeing this as an example of him being a 'bad person' and someone who should be 'without a platform'. I think people forget that not everyone has the same internet upbringing as they do. In general, I think its noted that the misuse of AAVE is something that has just recently been brought to attention. I learned about it through tiktok and stan twitter, and I don't think it's unimaginable that a British 17 year old boy (who is not active on either) has never heard of 'African American Vernacular English'.

Just for a fuller picture, today has also brought about another 'criticism' that I just had to address.

1) 'Tommy made a KKK joke' - Like the 'slavery' point, saying this is extremely misleading. It makes people think the worst. Here's the clip: https://twitter.com/ghostburz/status/1380673589612011522?s=20

Here, Tommy and Tubbo are both joking about Tubbo's 'bit' of naming his alt streams 'aaaaaaaaaa', 'bbbbbbb', 'cccccc', etc and how it would've been bad if it was 'kkkkkkkk' (for obvious reasons). That is literally it. It is a less than 20 second clip. Acknowledging that people woulda thought about the 'KKK' is not him 'not understanding Black issues', its a throwaway joke about the obvious.

Lastly, someone on twitter has made a tommyinnit (address asap) doc - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tZEZtBzikS-EYYkssfFtwVOoFqOwCK0zhStLe6H1wCc/edit

I've basically already covered everything in this document, but I wanted to mention how extremely 'guilt trippy' the whole thing is. I struggled to come up with the perfect word for the situation, and I am open to hearing other peoples opinion, but as I have mentioned none of these things Tommy has been accused of were done with malicious intent, and some I believe don't even need addressed at all.

'slavery is a source of astronomical trauma for black people, and isn’t something to be taken lightly if you’re to look into the horrors of the slave trade."

and "Oftentimes they are the last words we hear before we die and it really is not Tommy’s place to joke about words that affect us so negatively."

Are extremely emotional words for a 17-year-old boy to hear on his birthday, for stuff that I believe has been taken out of context and blown out of proportion.

I really feel bad for him, because such a large proportion of twitter (which ofc is the loudest side of the fanbase) is angry at him and is demanding (as the document says) ''either a stream or twitter thread/twitlonger to addressing this' and 'a long and serious apology instead of a short statement pre-stream'.

We all know how twitter works, and unless his apology is perfect (which to me means apologising for stuff that he should't have to, as explained in the thread), twitter will continue with this weird hyper focus on everything he does, and it's not going to end well.

Twitter's mentality of 'putting everything this person has done that could ever be considered problematic' into one neat little thread is so unhelpful and counter intuitive. I got overwhelmed reading some of the stuff people were saying about him, I can't imagine how he feels.

I feel like I have more to say but at risk of writing an essay longer than my actual work I have to do, I'm going to end here.

#this was incredibly cathartic to write #turns out im not just a c! Tommy apologist LMAO #tommyinnit #dream smp #tommyinnit neg #tommyinnit critical #tommyinnit crit #Tommy crit #Tommy neg #twitter neg #cancel culture #mcyt crit #mcytwt crit

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celticcrossanon · 3 years

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I’m so sorry for the rant. I just needed to clear my head and got compelled to do it in your inbox. 🙇🏾‍♀️

Not a question just some thoughts. Sorry I’m spamming you so much. I just read your latest reading about the wanna be“tour” and all I can do is SMH. I think to some extent we saw this coming but they are dialing it up and expanding. Conscious humans would’ve called it quits by now. The Remembrance Day pap walk, Going to elementary schools, “donations”, writing letters like they are world leaders, etc. On one hand I can’t see this becoming much of a “thing”. I don’t think MM and Jarry will go on doing this for long unless they can get some Hollywood to pay attention and acknowledge them. I think another reason with the more public European Royals work so well in their media is because their countries are relatively small, like California and Texas are on the large side in comparison, am I right? So much can happen on one side of the country that I only hear of thanks to friends back in California. I can’t see these two visiting any farm in Montana as “royals” if ever. They got a Clinton and Perhaps more big names and “engagement” is to come (oh god 🤦🏾‍♀️) I’m sure they and the sugars are just loving it but it all looks, sounds and feels so incrediblly STUPID & ABSOLUTELY VAPID AND INSULTING. etc etc. I cannot stand entitled people and the fact that these two cut off, trashed, and demand from their own families for a fleeting moment in the spotlight is unfathomable. That’s a testimony to how strong narcissistic delusions can be. It must be the best high I could ever ask for. 🖤Im new to “Royal Watching” if you can call what I do ‘that’, so I don’t really care about all the other indiscretions. I don’t trust the media and I think it’s just the BRF turn in the hot sun to catch hell. See Andrew, see the Clintons and all the others. Whatever drama is going on with Charles, see the rest of big business. I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor and I still study on the disorder. Now here I am watching these two who make my skin craw, this train needs to SPEED UP . I think I’m just looking for a bit of JUSTICE in the world right now. Between this administration, COVID, my job and all my other drama (I’m sure we all have some, if not BLESS YOU and pass it on 🥺) I’m flabbergasted and a little sick in my stomach at watching yet another set of people be able to walk through life seemingly so unbothered. It’s like the world is closing in and I’m suffocating. 🖤Like, your telling me that just because he was born a Prince and she married him and found a way to have children they get to get away with all of this?. The entitlement, the lies, the forced Wokery, using heavy and important subjects like mental health and racism for a PR boost all just to get a⭐️ on the Hollywood walk of Fame? For a couple of royals they sure know how to dump cold water on ya, they are the epitome of LIFE ISNT FAIR. And I’m sure that all depends on perspective, for example; their sugars who must be going diabetic RN. THEY think they have suffered as well. Look at the Cambridge’s who have not put a foot out of place yet have to deal with these tantrums from all over their family. All families have drama and I can see how the Harkles and the rest could be a payback of the Firm and family as a whole. The Queen covered so much and never really saw that Henry and Andrew and god knows who else were set straight. Look what having so much privilege can do. But is there a limit, anywhere?🖤

🖤Anyways, another thought I had was, this could be the end for any thought of reunion. This Narcissist has worked her magic and this clueless tone deaf fool has really gone and done it. I was driving and I thought of Prince William and the entire remaining Windsors & Mountbatten Windsor’s and the whole Aristocracy cutting the Harkles off entirely because the BRF called a wrap (or had to) and the UK became a Republic after Her Majesty. MM get the privlage in her narcissistic head that she’s the last ever to become a Duchess, Cathrine wouldn’t become the Princess of Wales and it all came down in part because of her and Henry’s actions. Yes Andrew and whoever else aren’t helping but these two made it exceptionally difficult. I think they would take pride in that especially publicly but only when they are praised for it. I think the Cambridge’s would have an easier time with moving on with their family, free to live as they please with no pressure to serve the public. Cathrine can be “lazy”, sleep in, & raise her kids and Wills is free to🖕 the paps who would surely still follow them. A La “where are they now”. The two that would have it the worse are the Harkles as they last bit of what they had to separate them from the rest of Hollywood is gone, no more Royal sheen but they don’t have much now. It would be stupid to use the titles after an abolished monarchy but they’d do it and expose themselves further.🖤 If you made it this far, one last thing. I got cut off while driving. That’s not unusual in this Miami traffic and usually i ignore it but with my mental state I couldn’t help but to compare. it was a packed road and I just really wanted to know where the heck the fire was. Why did this person need to rush so much on a busy road that no one else mattered even though we all have somewhere to go? That’s how I feel about the Harkles. What’s the point, where are they going? They went to New England for Christ sake to play faux royalty, in more trashy outfits might I add. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I guess I do have a question, DOES THE WORLD REALLY BELONG TO THOSE WHO JUST Get UP AND TAKE IT?

Thanks for humoring me and providing this space. ✌🏾

Note: My apologies for this very long post, everyone. I can't put a page break in and the writer needs to let it all out. I am sure a lot of you will be feeling somewhat similar to them.

Reply under the cut, so this is not any longer

Hi april14vc,

You are welcome to rant here.

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and it is all becoming a bit much to handle, as there is no relief anywhere. Is there something fun and relaxing that you can do for you sometime today, just to have a break from it all? I feel like you need to tune out for a bit and do something that is just for you.

I am so sorry that you suffered from narcissistic abuse, and so glad that you survived this. I think the Harkle shenanigans must hurt you in a more personal way than those of us who have never suffered under a narcissist. It is very hard to watch the Harkles seemingly get away with all their entitled abuse without any form of justice coming for them.

I think the Harkles are suffering. They usually are unable to get any sort of attention from the media unless they pay for it, and even then they don't trend - it is a 'blink and you miss it' situation. Look at what happened with Meghan's 40 for 40 program - it was dead in the water before the day was over, and she spent a fortune on PR for that. Compare that to the natural (not paid for) hype that surrounds anything that the BRF does, especially the Cambridges or HMTQ. That hype and attention is what Meghan wants, and she is not getting it.

What the Harkles are getting, and what they hate, is mockery. Look at the response to their Times 100 cover. Look at the comments on this pseudo-royal tour. They are a walking joke, and no narcissist would like that. They tried to cull all negative press while they were members of the BRF, were unsuccessful in stemming all of it, and now have no clout at all to stop any negative media attention. The Harkles may live in a delusion of success, but to the vast majority of people they are no more than very risible z-list celebrities.

The Harkles also have serious money troubles. They may be ignoring them, but those debts will have to be paid, one way or another.

What we are seeing now is the slow slide of the Harkles into obscurity, and their desperate attempts to reverse the process, which never work. They are no more popular and wanted now than they were at the time of Megxit, and in fact their popularity has declined since those days. They may look like they are winning, but it is all an illusion, caused by the amounts of money they are prepared to pay to give the illusion of wealth and star-quality celebrity. The paid for events happen, and then nothing. The paid for PR happens, and then nothing. Their slide downwards continues, and nothing that they do is reversing it.

Yes, at the moment they are on a high and beaming put of every report on their activities. Wait a week and then see where they are. This is like the Oprah interview all over again.

My next reading is going to be on the consequences of this pseudo-royal tour for the Harkles, so maybe there will be some justice for you there.

Edited to add: As for taking down the monarchy, I can't see that happening. For starters, the British government would have to put the matter to the people for a vote, and even if they are insane enough to do that, I can't see the British public voting to remove a beloved Queen because of the antics of two people who are despised that that country. The logistics of replacing the monarchy are also staggering - you have to rework the entire government of not just Great Britain, but of all the commonwealth realms who have HMTQ as Head of State, and that is not an easy task or a light undertaking. In addition, those Commonwealth Realms can keep HM as their head of state even if she is ejected by the British people (which would never happen, but I am stretching the bounds of probability here). After HMTQ comes Charles, who will have a short reign simply because of his age and health, and then William will be king, and he is also loved by the British public. I just can not see all that thrown away for the Harkles, who are rightly hated by the British public.

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sugiwa · 3 years

Text

Hi. I am the Advice Anon. Please ignore those asks! I am so sorry for spamming your ask box. I still need help, so I’ll paste the entire thing over here. Again, sorry and thank you! Have a great day!

My reply and the full ask are below:

Hello! I hope you’ve been having a great day so far. This is probably unlike all of the other asks you get on a daily basis, author. However, I am in dire need of help, and I have turned to you. Before I begin, I want to apologize in advance, as this ask is going to be long. Now, like I said before, I need some help. You see, I am a freshman in high school, and school hasn’t even been going on for a full 10 weeks (a quarter), and I am already in a huge, messy, sticky situation. You probably already know that in high school, you need a certain number of credits in each field to be able to graduate. I am going to be extremely vague about this because it doesn’t really matter, and I’d really like to remain anonymous, if you know what I mean. One of the fields is World Languages and Visual Arts. Obviously, I am not talented enough to do Visual Arts, so I opted for World Languages instead. My teacher for the course I chose this year… she’s nice. Really kind, and I love that she makes learning a whole new language and culture, which is extremely hard, so much fun. And the fact that she’s one of the nicest teachers I know makes the rest of this so, so painful for me. 4 days ago, for me, was a Thursday. In this class, we had a vocab quiz that day (background info: two days before every quiz, my teacher posts a practice quiz to be done before class starts). I don’t really want to discuss what happened, as it still brings tears to my eyes, but I will give you a vague summary of what was going on. Basically, I couldn’t access my quiz (it was online), so my teacher told me to come in after school to re-do it. I was supposed to close down my computer and work on homework from another class, but instead of doing so, I worked on the practice quiz. And… this was considered cheating, because I was getting extra practice in before taking the quiz– something that the other students didn’t get, you know? My teacher saw my computer screen, and told me that she’d talk to me after school, and she’d be calling home. I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the class, because I was afraid of what might happen when she called home. After school, she told me to speak with her, and be honest about it. When cheating happens, at our school, the teacher will write us up for Academic Dishonesty and give it to the administration, who then decides the consequences. My teacher had told me that if I was honest with her, she wouldn’t write my up; she’d just give me a zero on the quiz and call home and tell them what I did. I was honest with her, because like I said before, I was afraid. Once I told her everything that happened, she told me that I could call home, let them know what happened myself, and I’d be off the hook (with a zero on the quiz, of course). So, I called home, like she had asked of me, but… they didn’t pick up. I told her that they didn’t pick up, and she told me that it was fine, and that she’d talk to my parents in-person before they picked me up from school. I’m not going to lie, that terrified me more than calling home. I don’t really remember what happened after that, because I was too busy crying, but I do remember that she mentioned something about me doing this before, and that it was not OK to do it the second time, but she’d let me off the hook. The thing is, I am 100% sure I haven’t done this before… or maybe she just didn’t approach me the first time. I told her that I didn’t do this before, and she told me that I was lying again, and began to write me up. I told her that I didn’t mean to do this, and that I was sorry, but she told me to stop lying. She said that she DID approach me the first time I did this, and that I was rude to her then. This brought tears to my eyes– my kind of favorite teacher telling me that I was rude to her. You see, I didn’t grow up here, and although I’ve lived here for 4 years, I am not used to the way people interact here. It was very different where I grew up. For example, you didn’t ask each other how their day was, or what they did during their day, unless you were REALLY curious or concerned, because that was considered nosy and rude. So, I tend to be unintentionally rude, and completely oblivious to it; I have no idea when I’m being rude or not, unless someone specifically says so. I also don’t really understand people well, so that’s a huge problem. So… hearing this from her, really hurt. I told her that I didn’t intend to be rude, and I was trying my best to change (I mean, I was & am reading a book to teach me etiquette and all), and she replied with “that’s good to hear”. Then, when my parents came to pick me up, she talked to them, and even asked one of my parents to walk with us to the Administration Office to turn in the write up. Stuff happened, I got called into the Assistant Principal’s office, and now I have a zero on my quiz (and my homework activity that I never finished), Saturday School, and a black mark on my record. But the thing is… that’s not what I’m concerned about at all. Sure, getting my grades up in time for Progress Reports is going to be an extremely hard task, and Saturday School is going to leave a huge black mark on my record, but that’s not what I’m worried about. My grades have been fractured, but so has my relationship with this teacher. I feel as though she hates me now, that she has lost all trust in me. (Background info: our school does Odd and Even days, so I have half of my classes on one day and half on the other, so that means that I didn’t face my teacher at all on Friday) 3 days ago, on Friday, when I went to school, it was an average day. It would have been an amazing day, had it not been for the situation I was in. All I could think about that day was my World Language teacher. And just thinking about her, and about that classroom, it… gives me a bit of anxiety. This is where I need your help. What would you do if you were in my situation? I really want to repair my relationship with my teacher, because I know that she’s really important; we’re going to be on the same campus for the next 4 years of my life, and even more importantly, she’s going to be my teacher for the next 8 months. I want to graduate with good grades, but more importantly, I want to graduate without holding a grudge against my teacher. I want her to like me, and I want to gain her trust again. Today is a Sunday for me, and I have to go back to school tomorrow, and I have her class then. A part of me is really scared to go to school, a part of me is really angry at my teacher for reporting me (even though it was the right thing to do), and a part of me wants to ditch school tomorrow, or even drop out or transfer from her course, all because I don’t want to face her after I did the wrong thing. It’s not only that, either. I’ve also been avoiding my friends. Would you like to know why I am confiding in awesome strangers on the internet anonymously instead of letting my friends know what’s going on? It’s because I’m afraid that they won’t like me anymore, and they’d ditch me or something. They’re amazing people, and I know that they won’t do that, but a part of me is still paranoid. I’ve been avoiding my friends since Friday, barely talking to them at school, and texting them a little bit in our group chat. They don’t really suspect anything, but that’s good. And that’s why I am asking you. Not just you, but actually anyone who sees this, if they helped me, I’d really appreciate it. I really need help moving forward in this situation, and I’m desperate for help. My parents don’t understand the situation I’m in, and I’m too scared to talk to my friends about it, so I’d really appreciate the help. It’s OK if you don’t reply to this, author. I know that this doesn’t affect you in any way, so you’re not obliged to help me. I’d like to thank you for taking the time from your day to read these extremely long asks. Have a great day. P.S: I absolutely love What Heroes Do! Izumi is such a well written character, and sometimes, I see myself in her. The way she handles situations is so inspirational! And your writing skills are top-tier! My best friend and I actually started writing a book 4 years ago (I mean, we wrote for one month in 6th grade, and then spent one day in 8th grade editing it, and we’ve only got a prologue and 1.5 chapters done, so… clearly, we aren’t doing a good job lol), and you’ve inspired me to go back to that book and re-do it! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration and an idol of mine! Ilysm ❤️

sugiwa:

I wanted to take the proper time to reply to this. I think any adult willing to hold a grudge against a child is in the wrong. You clearly made a mistake and are now taking steps to improve and learn from it. Additionally, I think teachers tend to forget how much stress students are under in their academic and private lives, so a mistake should be used as an opportunity to teach not punish. I don’t think that you should worry about what this teacher thinks of you. Your teacher didn’t believe you, despite you telling them the truth. No matter how kind or nice someone is, their behavior towards you will always reflect their inner thoughts. If you’ve clearly made a mistake, you should fight to prove that. It’s not as if you intended to ‘cheat,’ given the situation we’re all in with the pandemic, online classes and quizzes are the norm. These kinds of things probably happen regularly. Additionally. I don’t think you need to concern yourself with being rude. My culture is rather blunt and when I first moved here, people weren’t fans of brutal honesty, so it was a big cultural shock. If people aren’t willing to learn about your culture and understand, then I don’t think they’re people worth hanging out with. Lean on your friends, I don’t think they’d make a big deal over a couple of mistakes and if they do, then it might be worth reconsidering why you were friends with them.

Thank you for your kind words about the story and I really hope everything works out for you!!

#submission #anon

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btsandvmin · 4 years

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Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN

I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN

I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.

Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)

Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line

Sorry for spamming with asks

You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it

I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another

What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?

About tae changing the choreo of fake love

What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?

"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?

I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him

When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin

Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist

Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that

Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"

I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.

Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general

IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why?

You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?

I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him

Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men?

We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad

What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?

When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.

What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.

If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious

Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.

The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me.

Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore

Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae

A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con

Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face

When do you think their friendship turned into something more?

Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple.

Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother

Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.

Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door'

I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?

Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "

What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality.

Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.

Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc.

I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping

I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it

I have a doubt about vmin recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin

Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack

I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.

Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates?

In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?

Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live.

What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?

It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it?

Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?

Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?

On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.

Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments

But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?

You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life

You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right

If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?

Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)

I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama

Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual?

I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together

You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?

Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?

Do you think that vmin are straight?

Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight

Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.

Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?

Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.

Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.

I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company

Maknae line avoid vlives and its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae

Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?

Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin

In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments

Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?

I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show

If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?

Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"

Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?

Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?

Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama

What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?

I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.

Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ?

Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses

Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them

About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends

Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?

Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu

Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.

Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it

Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate

This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship

Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond

I fear that vmin will become the next larry

Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?

I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there

Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?

Recently i watched a vkook video to compare

Do you know how exactly vmin met?

Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things

At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.

I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.

I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go

The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first

Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house

Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis

What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together

This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart

Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them

Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!

#vmin #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #Btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin masterpost #vmin masterpost #Btsandvmin answer #95z is love #my post #keep loving vmin

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hithisischris · 5 years

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The things I’d do to her//J.W.//

Request! Yes

I’m sorry this is the first one hope you like it! Thank you for requesting. This was my first time writing smut but ahaha hell has a special place for us hope it wasn’t to cringey lol. Enjoy :)

Warning: smut, I’m a bad writer and a sinner sorry

On days Scott and Jeff recorded SkotCast y/n was not supposed to be there so she could watch the video later it was an agreement that Jeff and her came up so the podcast wouldn’t be ruined for y/n. Jeff and y/n have been going out for 6 months and they had a set order, days of recording and posting; luckily enough they were both in the same franchise so it had never been a bother when one had to film a video.

Y/n who knew recordings of the SkotCast would take place at Jeff’s place she decided to record a vlog with the girls, the girls being Carly, Erin, Natalie, Mariah, Corrina and Kristen they had all been good friends for a while and if it hadn’t been for Natalie, Jeff and y/n wouldn’t have met. As the girls walked into Starbucks and discussed what they’d be doing for the day back at Jeff’s apartment the SkotCast had started well but Scott began asking the “to much information” questions as y/n called them. Scott who had no filter at the moment asked “what’s one thing you think off when you see y/n walk into a room” without hesitating or even thinking it through Jeff who had always decided to keep his and y/n’s relationship private said “well okay when she walks into the room it’s not something cute, okay sometimes it is but most of the times I first think of how I’d love to wrap my hands around her throat and just take her there” Scott who was shocked started laughing really hard making Jeff red by his confession he immediately felt fluster and started off next with “fuck I’m sorry if you’re under the age to hear words like that sometimes I just open my mouth and it talks. Scott I beg please edit that out” Scott laughed and replied back with “no can do that’s the juicy content for today’s podcast” he laughed it off and kept it in the back of his mind hoping y/n would decide to not listen to this podcast.

After and hour of recording content both y/n and Jeff had met up at TacoBell for a snack. Although Jeff knew the right thing was to tell her he was reluctant and decided against it. Allowing the video to be uploaded with no warning.

Usually when y/n got the notification about the podcast she’s drop everything to watch the video but that night she had decided to edit early and have the vlog ready to be posted on the day of. After 2 hours of editing y/n’s phone that lay next to her started to be spammed with twitter notifications she had been sure it might have been a photo Jeff posted of them together but when she noticed Jeff had gone off into his room to take a nap she glanced at her phone and one of the first thing she sees is:

“god why did Jeff saying that about Y/n sound so fucking hot she is so lucky wtf” getting curious she opened the tweet opening the attached clip of the podcast and raising the volume she saw her boyfriend sitting with the mic on his hands and she smiled but what came out of his mouth next left her shocked, “it’s not something cute, okay sometimes it is but most of the times I first think of how I’d love to wrap my hands around her throat and just take her there” she sat there computer completely forgotten and eyes wide.

Y/n wasn’t mad she was just shocked Jeff never liked talking about their relationship and mostly felt that it should be something sweet and private, it kinda turned her on even knowing that her loving boyfriend thinks that way when she walks into a room. Taking the computer off her lap and setting her phone down she headed to the room in which Jeff slept. “Big baby wake up” she nudged his cheeks when he didn’t even stir she straddled his backside and he moved his head from one side to the other whole still sleeping and y/n started to massage his back and kiss the part of his neck that was easy access to.

Jeff opened his eyes finally feeling her hands on his back and said “well this is a nice wake” which y/n answered with a soft laugh and “I saw that clip in the podcast” Jeff who had his eyes closed had opened them wide fearing his comment might strike an argument but on y/n’s mind there were different plans and she said “I thought it was hot that you think that of me baby” she lifted herself from him and he turned on his back while she stood next to the bed she looked down on Jeff and he smirked.

Picking her up he put her on his thighs and rubbed his hands on her thighs, y/n leaned down to kiss him passionately and as they made out she started to grind on his crotch feeling him go hard he pulled away and took her shirt off leaving her chest bare. In front of him she never felt shy and she smiled down at him and slid off the shorts she was wearing Jeff slid out of his sweats and grabbed her by the waist laying her on the bed and as he traveled down her stomach she was getting wetter by the second and as he reached her core he teased her with soft licks then inserting a finger after a couple minutes of this y/n was euphoric and felt her relief coming to an end as she moaned and pulled on Jeff’s hair he knew she was close going slowly so she could enjoy herself and as she came undone he smirked at him taking his fingers and licking them clean.

She was breathless but as she picked herself up and put Jeff on the bed so she could ride him, he was loving how she looked, chest bare and hair a mess but gorgeous he smiled at her and she gave him a kiss as she slipped down on his cock and he let out a shaggy moan, y/n started at slow pace teasing Jeff a bit but giving him satisfaction he got relentless after a while and grabbed her waist to ram himself into her allowing slapping sound of their skins to be heard throughout the apartment they moaned in union and came undone together. That night Jeff was not at all regretful for letting the public know of his views on his girlfriend.

#jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #jeff wittek x reader smut #david dobrik #david dobrik x reader

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fandomsfeelsandfanfics · 4 years

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The Arrangement, Part VIII/// Draco Malfoy x Reader

SUMMARY: Draco takes you to Paris.

WORD COUNT: 2,339

WARNING(S): yeah this isn’t edited so typos most likely. also a lil suggestive at the end oof.

A/N: i’m spam posting ot finish this series up. i hope y’all enjoy it.

SERIES MASTERLIST | PLAYLIST

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You were half asleep. Drifting in and out from dreams to consciousness and it was almost hard to discern between the two. Sleeping on a gigantic luxurious bed with an amazing view of Paris next to Draco Malfoy almost seemed like a dream.

There was a small flash and you opened your eyes. Draco was sitting next to you taking pictures. “Draco,” you mumbled.

“Sorry love, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He leaned over and kissed your temple.

“That’s not fair. I’ve just woken up, I probably look like shit.”

He stared at the Polaroid in his hand as it started to develop. “You look gorgeous.” He shook it and looked at it again. “But it’s not nearly as beautiful as the real thing.” He leaned down to kiss you but before he could properly reach you. You pushed him onto his back and got on top of him.

You grabbed his camera and started taking pictures. He smiled and laughed as you snapped one picture after another. His hands came up to your thighs and he rolled you off of him.

You took more pictures of him, towering over you. Finally, you lowered the camera. Draco stared down at you. His hands came up to your waist.

“Mm, you are seriously so gorgeous.” He kissed you and gave your waist a squeeze. You leaned up into him, wanting more. When he pulled away, he fell down next to you on the bed with a satisfied smile.

He picked up one of the pictures you took of him and held it up next to his face for you to look at. “Which is better?” You leaned forward as if to kiss him and kissed the Polaroid instead. Then you laid back down, closing your eyes.

“Oh really?”

You opened one of your eyes to look at him. “Fine you can have one too.” You gave him a quick peck on the lips and laid back down.

He was propped up on one elbow just staring at you. “We need to get up soon.”

“Says who?” He reaches down to wrap his finger around a strand of your hair.

“We can’t just lay here all day.”

“Who says we’re gonna spend all day laying?” One of his hands moved down to your thigh. You grabbed it before he could do anything more.

“I came to Paris to see Paris.” He groaned. “So what’s the plan for today?”

“I was going to take you to some of my favorite stores and then we can go eat. It’s all my treat.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed your knuckles.

“I don’t need you to buy me things,” you challenged.

“Yes, I know but maybe I want to buy you things.” He kissed up your arm, finally arriving at your shoulder then your jaw then your cheek. He stopped just short of actually kissing you. “I think you deserve it. What was that about all work and no play?” You smiled as he came down for a kiss.

As you walked down the uneven streets, your arms were weighed down buy shopping bags. Draco insisted on taking you to all of his favorite stores in Paris. Shopping took you through the morning and well into the afternoon mostly because Draco insisted on seeing you try on most of the things you bought. You reckoned it was more for him than you but you entertained him anyway.

“Draco, I feel like my arms might break.” He brought his hand up to lower his sunglasses so he could look at you over the rim of them.

He gazed at you in amusement for a moment before pushing the glasses back up the bridge of his nose with a small chuckle. “That’s how you know you’re done shopping for the day. That’s what my mom used to say.” He stopped walking and turned to you. “There’s one more place I wanted to stop down this street but if you want you can sit in this cafe while I’m gone.” You looked at the cafe over Draco’s shoulder. It looked quaint.

“That sounds perfect.” It was named something that you couldn’t quite understand in French.

“Order a coffe or something, relax. I won’t be gone long.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead. His hand came up to the small of your back and he pulled you into him slightly. You came closer to him willingly.

“Sure you don’t want to come with me?” He looked down at you with those beautiful grey eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll just wait.”

“ ‘Mkay, be right back.” You watched as he walked off in the other direction before walking to the cafe.

You were greeted with the smell of coffee and a “salut” from one of the baristas. You returned the gesture, hoping your pronunciation sounded authentic and sat in one of the chairs by the window.

You would’ve tried to order a coffee but you couldn’t read the menu. You always relied on Draco to order for you. He pronounced everything perfectly and it sounded beautiful coming out of his mouth.

You sat there, staring out the window for a few minutes watching people as they walked by. You’d only been there for a day but so far, you loved everything about Paris. You especially loved being there with him. There was something that felt different when you woke up in the morning with Draco’s arms wrapped around you and the light flooding in through the window. There was something about the people and the scenery.

You loved Paris. You loved Draco showing you around. You loved sleeping in that luxurious bed with him next to you. You loved the look on Draco’s face as he showed you around. You loved Draco.

You heart skipped a beat with that thought. It had come out of nowhere and it scared the hell out of you. You couldn’t say that it wasn’t true but you preferred to just not think about it. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with Draco. That certainly wasn’t what Narcissa wanted.

But what did you want?

You didn’t know how long you were sitting there trying to answer that question before Draco walked in. You didn’t even see him coming and almost jumped when he sat across from you.

“You alright?” You sat your hands on the arms of the chair you were sitting at, trying to wipe away the obvious amounts of sweat.

“Yeah I’m great.”

“I hope I wasn’t gone too long, I wanted to make sure they had exactly what I was looking for.” He had a small bag in his hand, evidently from a jewelry store.

“And did they?” He sat the bag on his lap and pulled out a long box. He slid it across the table towards you. “Draco...”

“Just open it.” You slowly opened it. There was a silver necklace inside with a diamond hanging from the exact middle. It was gorgeous. You wondered how much it cost and your eyes drifted back up to him.

Before you could refuse it, he reached for the box. “Let me put it on you.” He leaned close to you and wrapped the necklace around your neck. You could feel his breath against your ear as he fastened it. Finally, he leaned back just enough to look at you.

“It’s beautiful.” He leaned in to kiss you and even once he had pulled away, you still had your eyes closed. “How does dinner sound?” You opened your eyes and blinked at him a few times.

“Dinner sounds...great.” You wanted to kiss him again and again and again. But it occurred to you that you were in the middle of a cafe and the sun was already setting. Where had the time gone?

After you took everything back to the hotel, Draco had a driver take you to a restaurant which he claimed had been his favorite when he was younger. You couldn’t imagine any kid liking this type of restaurant. It was quiet and everyone was dressed fancy.

“They’ve got killer chicken tenders,” was his reply when you mentioned that to him. “It was worth having my mother stick me in a suit with a tie that was way too tight.”

You were placed at one of the nicest tables in the back corner away from everyone else with a view of the Seine river. Draco ordered for the both of you. You stared out of the window and were barely aware that the waiter had left and there was an awkward silence.

Draco’s hand found your knee under the table, which nearly startled you. You looked up at him. “Hey, you alright? You’ve been quiet.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” It was partially true but mostly a lie. You tried to distract yourself and think about anything that wasn’t Draco but that was hard when Draco was sitting right in front of you. His features became more defined in the candlelight from the candle that sat directly in the middle of the table separating you. He looked pale and delicate. Fragile.

You looked away from him and back out the window. A boat floated by peacefully. “I’m just taking everything in.”

Draco’s hand left your knee as he rested his chin on his fist and leaned toward you. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just a little crazy. It’s beautiful and wonderful but it’s a little bit of a whirlwind, right? All the money and the beautiful people. One could get lost.”

Draco leaned back in his chair looking out the window like he was trying to recall something. “Oh yeah but it’s fun. There were times when I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life in Paris, the most beautiful place in the world, and just surround myself with whatever and whoever I wanted. But then the last time I was in Paris, I got so high I thought I was gonna die.”

He paused and you took the opportunity to look up at him. He had his bottom lip between his teeth like it hurt him to think about. “It was insane because I felt so good. I felt on top of the world. And then the next morning I woke up and I couldn’t feel anything. I just felt empty. Suddenly, all the things I’d bought and all the people I met meant nothing. I tossed all my belongings in that river down there and swore I’d never come back to Paris.”

You’d never heard that story. Not in any tabloid or any newspaper. You wondered who Narcissa had to pay to keep everyone from hearing about Draco’s near overdose.

“Draco you didn’t have to come back to Paris for me.”

His eyes drifted back to you. “It wasn’t entirely for you. I mean I love getting to see your face as you experience all this for the first time but really I just wanted to see. You know, I haven’t taken drugs or drank since I’ve been here, haven’t even thought about it. The Paris thing was about a year ago and ever since then I’ve just felt empty. I try to fill myself with anything I can but it wears off and I’m back to square one. Then I saw you and I felt like me again. I was thinking about you all the time and the next time I would see you. You made me feel something which is scary as hell.”

He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “You make me feel so good, I’m starting to think you’re gonna be the death of me.” He smirked at you and reached for your hand.

The waiter returned with your food and refilled your waters. “Merci,” you mumbled. That was one of the few things you could say confidently in French.

You took a bite of your food and looked up to find Draco staring at you. Before you could make a sarcastic comment about how he shouldn’t stare, he said, “You sound beautiful when you speak French.” Finally, he ate a fork full of steak.

The rest of the meal was spent exchanging glancing under candlelight. Draco’s hand rested pretty comfortably on your knee most of the meal. You were both silent but the silence held more than either of you could name.

Once you were finally out of the restaurant and out of the cab and back in the hotel, Draco was kissing you. Over and over, on your mouth, on your cheeks, then your jaw and then your neck. There would probably be a mark there tomorrow.

For a moment, Draco brought his head back up to look at you. His breath was heavy. “Words don’t even begin to describe how thankful I am for you.” His hands were warm as his fingers impatiently moved around your back, exploring.

Your thoughts came back to Narcissa for a moment. This had become so much more than either you or Narcissa expected. There was no going back or backing out now and there was no more plan. It was just you and Draco, miles away from everyone else. That’s all that mattered now.

“Draco.” You pulled him into a kiss and instantly everything else melted away.

Draco was asleep and you watched him. He had his arm wrapped around your waist as he laid on your lap gently snoring. Your hand was in his hair, playing with it soothingly.

His hair looked even bright in the moonlight and his skin shone out brightly in juxtaposition to the dark room. “Draco,” you whispered. He didn’t say anything. He must really be asleep.

So you said it. You weren’t exactly ready for him to hear it yet but you thought you might explode if you didn’t get it out. “I love you.” You leaned down to kiss the top of his head and he stirred slightly. But in the end, he was still sleeping peacefully.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

tag list (lemme know if you wanna be tagged):

@danadeacon @ky-jjpg @naomi02hook @hiddle-hoe@xtrashmouthxtozierx @honeyshores @yuptha-tsme @wormy-boi@chaotic-good-gemini@fricktheitinerary@fanficflaneuse@winnsmills@okaydraco@jainaixo @dracoxxyoflam @katsukink @iliketoast23

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nebulawritings · 4 years

Text

A Mistake and a Choice Part Four (and a bit)

Part four (and a bit). This is kind of a filler part. I’ve had a few requests from people asking me to carry this on, and I don’t currently have a job to go to, so why the heck not. It’s short and sweet, Bryce x MC centric. FYI mentions of polyamory so if you don’t like that don’t read it. Simple. Thanks again for the comments, some awesome messages which makes my day to read. Enjoy reading, likes, comments etc etc always appreciated.

EDIT

Posted again due to spam. Hyperlinks not working as on mobile but will fix in the morning. FYI I hate Tumblr mobile for making posts.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Four (and a bit)

Book: Open Heart, Book 2 [Choices Stories You Play]

Pairing: M!DrValentinexEthan M!DrValentinexBryce

Reading Time: ~ 5 minutes

Warning: Swears.Fluff ahead.

_________________________________________

The light filtered through his bedroom blinds, harsh and unwelcoming as it pulled the young doctor from his slumber. Blinking the sleep and blur from his eyes, Casey enjoyed the brief 30 second moment where he didn’t remember why he was laying on top of the duvet on his bed, fully clothed save for his shoes which were tossed on the floor. But, all too soon the previous nights events hit him like a tonne of bricks. “Oh God��” he groaned, burying his face in the comforter beneath him. It wasn’t so much that he was heartbroken, but embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened including the fact the Bryce had seen him like that. “There is no way I’m getting up today” came a muffled groan, although luckily he’d arranged to have the whole weekend off anyway. The young Doctor struggled out of his pants, socks and jumper before crawling underneath the sheets, trying to hide from everything that had happened. He couldn’t face it…Not yet.

“Casey, if you don’t get up in five minutes I swear to God I’m going to throw a bucket of cold water on you”.

The yelling from the door awoke him, and Casey poked his head out of under the sheets. “Shuddup, Jackie!” he yelled back, throwing a pillow at the door. “I’m not working today!”.

“I know!” came a reply, “but for the tenth time you’ve got a visitor and if I have to make small talk for much long I’m going to go insane”.

“Tell them to go away” he muttered half-heartedly, burying his head back down into his pillow.

“Oh for the love of; just go in there” he heard Jackie say, someone else responding in a muffled tone. Casey groaned and threw another pillow at the door, just as it opened, hitting the guest square in the face.

“Hi to you too, sleepy head”.

“Bryce!” Casey exclaimed, scrambling to sit up. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were there”.

The reply was laughter, and the surgeon gently closed the door behind him. “Hey, no worries. A strange guy barging in your room, I get it. I’m just glad you didn’t hit lunch”. He held up a paper bag and two cups of coffee.

“Lunch? Oh man, what time is it?”. Casey sat up properly, rubbed his face and tried to feebly fix his hair which was sticking up all over the place.

“Um…Just er, just past two”.

“You okay? You sound a bit nervous”.

“Oh, me? Yeah, totally fine. Just…you know…” he gestured to Casey’s half naked body, sheets curled around him like the damn Venus de Millo.

“Oh! Shit, sorry er let me just…” Casey leaned over, more of the covers slipping down his body and revealing his toned chest and back making Bryce swallow hard. “I’ve got a jumper somewhere…” he leaned even further, grey boxers peeking out from beneath the sheet. If Bryce hadn’t been holding two hot cups of coffee, he wondered if he’d be able to keep his hands to himself.

“There…Sorry” Casey smiled, albeit a bit awkwardly, now wearing the slouch grey sweater from the previous night.

“Don’t apologise” Bryce said, smiling easily as he sat down next to Casey on the bed. “I mean, that just gave me a huge flashback as to why I’m so into you in the first place”.

“Oh don’t, I’m a complete mess” Casey laughed, gratefully taking the hot drink and pastry Bryce had bought over. “So…What brings you here? Unless you were hoping to catch me half naked”.

“Well, not just that” Bryce responded, grinning now. “I was just worried I guess. About you…About last night. You were in such a state, Case”.

The diagnostician nodded glumly, and looked to the floor, playing with the plastic coffee cup. “I was…Am. I don’t know”.

“I don’t wanna pry, but…I kinda also had an ulterior motive for coming over?”.

Casey looked back at Bryce, who was serious in his expression. “Oh?”.

“I’m not blind, Casey. It doesn’t take a hotshot Doctor like you to work out you were waiting for someone last night for a hook-up or whatever, and they didn’t show. I just…I want a straight answer, I guess? You know how I feel about you, and I didn’t come here to upset you more or stress you out, and if you want me to go just tell me and I’ll leave but…I really, really like you Casey. Like, like you…But if there’s someone else or you’re not into me then I’d rather know”.

Casey sighed, guilt knotting in his stomach. “You’re not wrong” he answered, shaking his head. “But it wasn’t just a hookup. It was with someone I’ve been waiting for, and…I don’t know, he means a lot to me in lots of different ways”.

Bryce nodded, thinking carefully. “It’s Dr Ramsey, right?”.

Casey almost spat out the coffee he’d been drinking, and his head snapped to Bryce. “How did you-“.

“You’re phone” Bryce admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to, I swear, but last night when I dropped you off your phone was left in the cab. I mean I’ve suspected for a while that something’s been going on between you two. Then, about 5am this morning, your phone lit up with an onslaught of messages, missed calls, voicemails…All from him”.

Casey laughed, sadly. “Well, you’re right. It was him. I was foolish enough to think he might want to be with me, and look where it got me. Clown numero uno”.

“Hey!” Bryce snapped, “if anyone’s the clown here, Casey, it’s Dr Ramsey! If you’d been waiting for me, there is no way I would’ve missed it, no matter what happened! I’d never make you feel like you did last night, I’d never let you down or humiliate you or make you search for help from someone else”.

Casey looked away. “I was wrong to contact you last night, I just…”

“You like me, right?”.

Casey looked over at Bryce. “Of course I do”.

“You like like me, right?”.

“….Bryce…”.

“You’ve been avoiding being with me because you’ve been waiting for him, right? When he pissed off to the Amazon for God knows how long you were being faithful, you didn’t sleep with me, because you thought you had something with him, right?”.

“…Yes”.

Bryce took a deep breath, a small smile on his lips. “You don’t know how relieved I am that this has been going on”.

Casey’s brow furrowed and he frowned, confused and a little hurt. “Relieved? Why the hell would you be relieved?”.

“Listen, Casey, I’ve been in all sorts of relationships before. Threeway, fourway, I’m with her and she’s with him way. I thought you didn’t like me! I thought that’s why you were staying away from me! It doesn’t bother me who you’re with, me and someone else at the same time, whatever. You can want to be with more than one person. It doesn’t make you an asshole, it just means you’ve got a lotta love to give, Casey”.

The other man felt tears welling in his eyes. “I had to choose, Bryce, and I…I chose Dr Ramsey. But he didn’t choose me. I don’t know how that makes me feel. I was so certain and now…I don’t know, man”.

Bryce reached out, and cupped Casey’s cheek in his hand. “I would never make you choose” he said softly. “As long as I get to be a part of whatever’s going on in your life, I’m game. I know it’s not the orthodox way of doing things, and people have called me easy and seconds and all sorts of other shit just because they think you can only be with one person at one time but that’s not how I feel. I can’t help how I feel…What I feel about relationships. About you. And I want you, Casey, I want you to be mine so damn much”.

Casey closed his eyes, shook his head. “Really? After everything that’s happened? All the shit I’ve put you through?”

Bryce laughed. “If I’ve learnt one thing, Case, it’s that something that’s worth it is never easy or straightforward. But that makes it all the sweeter in the end”. Bryce gently leaned forwards, and placed a kiss on Casey’s forehead. “You, Casey Valentine, are worth it". He moved away. "That’s all I came to say. I’m sorry for bombarding you after such a rough time, but I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t tell you how I felt. To let you know that, no matter what, you’ve got me. Always”. He stood up, brushed himself off. “I’ll…go now” he said calmly. “I don’t expect an answer straightaway, I know how hard being let down can feel just…Think about what I said, okay? You know where I am when you’ve made up your mind”.

Casey nodded, clutching the coffee cup hard as he swallowed. “Bryce?”.

The surgeon turned around from where he had gotten up. “Yeah?”

“Thanks…For everything”.

“No worries. See you later?”.

Casey nodded, seeing that signature smile from the surgeon that made his heart flutter. “For sure”. The door shut, footsteps retreated down the hall, and the diagnostician took a deep, calming breath. “How could I of been so stupid” he muttered, scalding himself. Casey wasn’t the type of person to be strung along, or not get what he wanted. The past year had proven that to him more than any other part of his life, from back when he was a student clawing and fighting his way through medical school to be the best, because he’d decided he was going to go to Edenbrook and study under Dr Ramsey and Dr Banerji; to fighting and defeating big pharma so recently because they were withholding life saving treatments, and not letting people live the way they wanted to. “Stop fucking moping! Get a grip! What’s wrong with you, you’re Casey motherfucking Valentine!”. He stood up, put the coffee cup down so hard it spilled on the side. “When do you ever get screwed over? Never! Do you sit and whine like a bitch!? No!”. He was in front of the full length mirror now, glaring at himself. “You’ve been chasing your tail for months you total moron, and for what? To be stood up? To have the best damn thing that’s happened to you walk out the door? No freaking way!”. Without thinking a second longer, Casey bolted out of his room, sprinted through the apartment and out into the corridor. He saw the lift closing, and cursed to himself, before running for the stairs. He took them two at a time, slipping in bare feet across the mixture of carpet and cheap lino. Casey skid to a halt in the entrance way after too many damn flights of stairs, and his eyes darted around. “Bryce!” he yelled, panting, as he saw the other man at the door of the building.

“Casey!? Oh my God, what’re you doing!?” Bryce ran over to him, and quickly shrugged off his jacket, covered up Casey’s bare legs by wrapping it around his waist. “You’re half naked, dude!”.

“I know!” Casey said, breathless, “but I just wanted to say that I was fucking stupid, and you don’t need to wait for my answer any more, you’ve waited and waited all this time-“

“Casey”

“And I’ve been a complete dick and I’m sorry, I was so lost and confused and-”

“Hey, Case”

“So fucking stupid! But I just wanted you to know that-”.

His rambling was cut off by a kiss, and Casey returned the gesture eagerly, breathing hard through his nose from where he’d been running and ranting.

“Done?” Bryce muttered against his lips.

“Not nearly” Casey replied, feeling Bryce smile.

“Shall we take this conversation back to your room?”.

Having now calmed down a little, the Doctor glanced around, and flushed deep red, suddenly very aware of the various onlookers. “Er…Yeah. Right now”.

Bryce laughed and slipped his hand around Casey’s waist, guiding him back to the elevator.

“Is it wrong that I’m kinda turned on right now?” he teased, as they stepped inside the metal box.

“All kinds of wrong” Casey smiled back, "but you don't care, do you? About what other people think?".

"Nope".

Casey smiled. "That’s what I like about you”.

"Is that all you like?".

The diagnostician hit Bryce lightly, before finding his hand and linking their fingers gently. "One of many things, Lahela. One of many".

@xxmultiangela

#fanfiction #choices oph #choices fanfiction #choices stories you play #mc x bryce #bryce lahela #casey valentine #mc x ethan #ethan ramsey #bryce #open heart #oph

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maraudererasmut · 4 years

Text

I’ve fallen behind in answering asks! ><

I’m sorry, guys!

Let’s do this!

Oh no! You almost missed the chapter! I’m glad you didn’t! And thank you for having my notifications on! I’m hope I don’t spam you TOO much! ><

Thank you for the kind words!! I really appreciate it! You’re wonderful, anon! <3

Thank you! I got the idea from something that happened to someone I know IRL, who got to have her art in Suits, because they needed paintings in the background! I’m glad Remus’ work makes you think of different things! I really tried to give him his own unique style, and I think I succeeded at that!

And YES! Your messages TOTALLY help! Seeing these little love letters in my inbox remind me that people are out there enjoying my content and that I get to bring a little bit more joy into the world, which is so important to me!

Ooooh, yeah, that dinner scene was hard to write, because it made me so sad to put the boys through that! I love how I’m able to show them growing together, though. That’s my favourite part of relationships of any kind: the growing together! It’s such an important aspect!

I’m so glad that you like my writing! Thanks for the sweet message! <3

He he he he... >:3

I’m so glad you liked the chapter!! YES, he was being such a prat and he had no idea how to handle himself. I’m glad Remus was able to sit him down and talk to him, and I’m glad that he was able to let Remus know exactly what was going on in his mind!

Thank you SO much! I really appreciate it! You’re too kind, Anon!

Reading this made me smile! <3 You’re so lovely! Thank you for inspiring me and helping me to continue writing! I love you!

No, no they cannot. :P

Thank youuuu! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing! And you’re very welcome. XD I, MaruaderEraSmut, promise to continue to provide the Wolfstar content we all need in our lives. XD

YAY!!! I’m so glad I could evoke such a reaction!!! I LOVED writing that chapter. It was something I had been waiting a good long time for! I’m glad they TALKED, for Pete’s sake!

Thank you very much!! I really, really appreciate it!

I was very nervous writing that and posting it (especially without editing it!), but I hoped to get as authentic of an experience written down as possible. Re-reading it in the morning, there were redundancies in the writing, yes, but it came across as real, and I was overall happy with it! :)

You’re amazing, Anon! Thank you!

I’m aiming for daily posting for Black and White, whether that’s in the morning or in the evening, I’ve been trying to post a chapter each day. However, some days are harder to post than others. Today, for instance, I got so swept up in life and my silly animation, that I forgot to finish the chapter! I’m going to try to have it done by tonight, but it might not make it.

BUT, if I don’t manage to post each day, I’m trying not to fret about it. I know that this is something I plan to continue, and I’m trying to give myself leeway. Maybe posting every two days if that’s easier!

TLDR: I post pretty often, try for once a day, don’t worry, it has more chapters coming!

@andi-sutcliff

Akhfklflkajfh!! Thank you!!

This was my first time trying pot, so I might work differently if I try a different dose... But it was so hard to keep my brain focused on any one thing, so I’m surprised I wrote something coherent! But that movie that plays in my head every time I write? That was so vivid, so clear in my mind, it made for a really cool writing experience!

I’m glad you liked the music! I had my Wolfstar playlist on in the background (filled with school-era music for the boys that I draw to) and it just... felt like it was a part of the scene. XD

I like to headcanon that Sirius owns an old record player that he’s charmed, and the boys listen to it all the time in the common room! I love the idea of him actually being able to make a mix-tape out of a record using magic! It’s such a Sirius use for magic: making something muggle just a little bit cooler.

#ask me things #ask me stuff #ask maraudererasmut #TW: Drug use #anon ask #anonymous ask #anon #anonymous #marjiuana #or however you spell it #Pfffft #pot use #tw: marijuana #tw: pot use

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spaceshipkat · 5 years

Note

btw i'm just gonna be spamming ya w/ stuff from ED's goodreads interview cause it makes me super mad and i have Some ThoughtsTM

i think all the parts of the overall ask i paste below are from you? apologies if they aren’t! also, my censoring in the names is in bold, as i want to avoid them popping up in ED’s tags.

“And then Mala///chiasz Czec///howicz came last in a blaze of wild hair and bad jokes and convoluted plot arcs.” - ED. so she means he came after she read the grisha trilogy and watched whichever star wars episodes kyle ron is in?

there’s not actually as much to say as i thought there was gonna be. goodreads spent several questions asking ED about her current reads and if she ever thought so many people were gonna want to read her book. they’re all predictably nice and humble. though she also says she’s interested in questions like: “How are people motivated differently when they have some tangible proof of the gods’ existence? How do they revolt against that?” and i’m interested to see how those intentions end– [1/2]

-up on paper, y'know? my expectations are low, but as someone who’s wips tackle *very* similar topics (though w/ a different angle. mine are more about how ppl use religion to excuse terrible shit) i want to see what kinda book i and other ppl who write about similar questions might have our work compared to. just from what ED says about WS’s theological situation, i’m already a little ‘eh’ about it. and i’ve actually seen ppl reviewing it on goodreads saying that it seems quite similar- [2/3]

- similar to christianity and catholicism and that it’s bad taste to raise questions about those religions bc they’re still practiced and i just??? not to side w/ ED here bc i have no actual idea what this kaly///azi religion is really like – it could suck and be offensive to christiandom/catholicism! – but whether a religion has current practitioners or not isn’t rlly applicable when discussing it’s affect & how ppl interact w/ it. sure you have to be careful not to repeat stereotypes- [3/4]

-and you probably shouldn’t be a jerk on purpose, but just talking about a religion + it’s affect on ppl isn’t offensive? and i’ve gone way off topic but what this goodreads person was saying really makes me mad. i’m somewhere around agnostic/atheistic, and i wouldn’t want to demean anybody’s religion for no reason, but imo there are some issues w/ how it and other similar religions have influenced the world and *still* influence the world today that deserve to be talked about, even if- [4/5]

-even if the person talking about them is as fumbling and snooty as ED seems to be, bc at least someone, somewhere who wasn’t formerly interested in researching religion might pick up the book, read the religious questions it (at the very least) tries to raise, and decides to do more research on the topic. i mean, i’m literally pasty white and very not-native-american, but when i watched a playthrough of until dawn, the horror game, i got super interested in wendigos and - shocker [5/???]

- *decided to do my own research on them*! presenting new topics to a person through a medium that already has their attention is literally a proven way to get ppl to research those new topics that they don’t know much about, and, man, if (as long as it gets rightful criticism for it’s mishandling of other issues) WS can get even *a few* of those ppl who are mostly concerned w/ ~the romance and dark drama~ to google or crack open a book on religious issues then i can stomach it being- [6/???]

-out in the world. and dude, this all stemmed from one person’s random note at the bottom of their review and i don’t even like ED or the samples i’ve read of WS, but if there’s one way to get me defending a person it’s to tell that person not to even try to talk about important issues just bc they might offend someone’s religious beliefs. that bs just will not fly w/ me on any day. [7/7]

WS anon back again and also can i just say how annoying WS’s ‘heretic’ bs is? like i get why the mc thinks of trana///vians that way – she was raised in a secluded monastery by obviously biased individuals and has the literal ability to communicate w/ her “gods” – but it’s so annoying to see it plastered everywhere and on all the edits of the mala/chaisz like it’s fact or smth. this isn’t an ask of substance or anything i’m just rlly annoyed by that for some reason.

WS anon back again and also can i just say how annoying WS’s 'heretic’ bs is? like i get why the mc thinks of trana///vians that way – she was raised in a secluded monastery by obviously biased individuals and has the literal ability to communicate w/ her “gods” – but it’s so annoying to see it plastered everywhere and on all the edits of the mala/chaisz like it’s fact or smth. this isn’t an ask of substance or anything i’m just rlly annoyed by that for some reason.

--i can understand why ED and other authors make themselves look better bc come one, no one wants to look like an idiot. but they dug that hole for themselves and they should have to lie in it, goddammit! those of us who can actually put thought into our pantheons shouldn't have to get lumped in w/ ppl like her who barely change a god's name and call that "constructing my own pantheon"

if these aren’t from you/are from a few different anons, i’m sorry to have lumped them all together! and i apologize for how long it took me to get to them.

i don’t have much to add, but i’ve mentioned before that i find religions absolutely fascinating and have taken many classes on them (not as many as i’d like, bc there are only so many credits that religious history classes apply to) despite being agnostic myself. i grew up Lutheran, though, and two of my best friends have very different views on religion (one is a practicing Muslim and the other pretty much avoids all religion all together) so i’ve been able to get a sample of a lot of different views on it. thus, the religious aspect of WS is one thing i’m really looking forward to seeing explored, bc i don’t think there are that many books that really challenge religion in some way/shape/form.

i’m definitely keeping an open mind about that aspect of the book in particular, and i’m only in ch4 so i don’t yet have much to gauge its inclusion on. so far, it doesn’t seem as though it’s based on any one real world religion so much as kinda typical of YA fantasy religions (numerous gods who sometimes pick one person to talk to). i know it’s based off Joan of Arc, so i’m keeping that in mind as well. the Trana/vians rn seem as though they’re an atheistic culture while the Kaly/azins are devout, so i’m not sure yet where Mala/chaisz fits in with that.

if/when religion is discussed more in the text, i’ll definitely focus on that in my posts, simply for my own entertainment.

#ask #anonymous #ws spoilers #myth & kat read ws

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hydrus · 3 years

Text

Version 417

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I had a great week working on a variety of small jobs.

The hydrus network version updates this week, so any clients that currently sync with the PTR will need to update to continue syncing. There is no rush for this.

all misc this week

First of all, the hydrus network version increments from 18 to 19 this week. Clients and servers can only talk to each other if they are running on the same version, and the PTR will update today, so if you want to keep syncing with the PTR, you will have to update. This version update was to ensure that all clients syncing with tag repositories are now on the new virtual sibling and parents systems. There is no rush to get this done, and no penalty if you delay--you will just get a polite popup saying there is a version mismatch, and your PTR service will be paused.

If you get a popup about the network version mismatch in an older version, after you update to 417, go to services->review services and make sure the PTR service panel is unpaused. You might also want to hit 'refresh account'.

I added some shortcut actions to the 'main window' shortcut set--one for 'run all export folders now', and several for navigating the current page selection. You can navigate left, right, and to the leftmost or rightmost tab of the current row. Unlike (shift+)ctrl+tab behaviour, the left/right actions jump through page of pages when you are at a boundary, letting you step through all of your tabs in a depth-first manner.

I also fixed some macOS shortcuts. Control and Command should now both be recognised and labelled correctly, and scrolling through the media viewer should be at a more appropriate pace.

The Newgrounds downloader is updated. It should now be able to get all the content for artists with more than 60 or 70 items in their galleries. Also rolled in is an updated parser for realbooru, who apparently recently changed their site format.

I messed up the UPnP error parsing last week--sorry if you got any of this! I cleaned it up, wrote some overdue tests so I won't make this mistake again, and gave the network->data->manage upnp dialog a full pass. It should do all its long-delay jobs without blocking the UI.

Advanced: URL Classes now have 'header override' settings. Any time an URL is hit, those headers will be inserted into the request! I needed this to get the updated Newgrounds gallery parser to work, if you want to see an example. Be careful with this, but it may just solve several of our more tricky problems. Also, sorry, the URL Class edit UI is increasingly a hellstack, I will rework it at some point into tabbed pages or something.

full list

the hydrus network version is increased this week from 18 to 19. clients and servers can only talk to each other when they are on the same version, so please update your clients if you wish to keep talking to the PTR, and your own servers if you have a home network setup or similar. if a server and client are on different versions, you will get a polite error when they next try to talk, and sync will be paused

added 'run all export folders now' shortcut command to 'main window' shortcut set

added shortcuts to the 'main gui' shortcut set for navigating the currently selected page. you can move left, right, to the leftmost on the current row, or to the rightmost. the left and right will cycle up a page of pages layer when at left/rightmost boundaries, letting you iterate through all pages in a depth-first manner

updated the default newgrounds parser to deal with artists with more than 60/70 items in one art gallery (essentially, some clever 'next page' fetching now occurs to get older info that in your browser is drawn in as you scroll down). if you have some subscriptions for artists where you know this is true, try doing a full reset on them

added realbooru to the hydrus defaults. they also apparently just switched away from a gelbooru 0.2.x site, so if you have a gelbooru parser with a realbooru example URL, I remove that example URL

updated the page initial media load routine to my new async job

updated the imported file presentation page-publish routine to my new async job

when drag and drop or import file presentation now wants to add files to a page that is not yet fully loaded (rare, but possible for large sessions), that page now remembers the files it should add and appends them once load is done. these files-to-be-added are also preserved through a session save, if the client is closed before this long-loading page is initialised

updated windows mpv, the reported api version is now 1.09

updated windows ffmpeg to 4.3.1

updated windows release to sqlite 3.33.0

updated windows opencv to 4.4.0

just a little thing--I took the source links out of the release post. anyone running from source is probably pulling straight from the github repo anyway

cleaned up some misc inelegant string code

misc other cleanup

macOS shortcuts:

the client's shortcut system now detects macOS-specific 'scroll start/end' states, and will not spam scrolls or errors when these states are held

the client's shortcut system now attempts to detect artificial trackpad scroll/wheel events, and adapts the relative speed of scroll event generation according to the respective trackpad velocity. let me know how the hell this works for you in media viewer etc... (issue #710)

the client's shortcut system now detects Control and Command as separate and reliable modifiers in macOS, with correct shortcut string rendering (issue #717)

upnp:

fixed the awful typos in the upnp add-mapping error handling I changed last week. I am sorry for this!

improved the async mappings and external ip fetch routines in upnp dialog. closing the dialog while a job is going on should now be completely ok

upnp dialog add, edit, and delete actions are now async (they won't hang the UI while they work)!

all the upnp async jobs should now disable the main list controls while they work

fixed the 'edit' action on upnp dialog to correctly remove old and existing mappings depending on what was edited

when adding a mapping for an (external_port,protocol) that is already mapped, the upnp dialog now asks if you want to overwrite, rather than just failing with a notification

after an async action in upnp dialog, and a mappings refresh triggered, the cached external IP should now be properly restored to the status area

pulled parsing code out of upnp code and wrote some proper unit tests for this so stupid typo errors should not happen again

parsing:

subsidiary page parser separation formulae that throw an exception will now be ignored, as if they parsed nothing. in the weird case that you might receive json or html, you can now create subsidiary parsers for both types, and the one that fails will do so gracefully and silently

URL Classes now have a key->value 'header override' value. any time one of these URLs is hit, these headers are added!!! be careful with this, but it may solve some tough problems. also, sorry, the URL Class UI is becoming a hellstack, I need to break it into tabs or similar

client api:

added documentation for the new add_files commands, delete_files, undelete_files, archive_files, and unarchive_files

added unit tests for the new commands

next week

I am due a 'medium size job' week, so I would like to make system predicates and OR predicates editable after they are entered.

#release

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spamzineglasgow · 4 years

Text

(SPAM Cuts) The Noughties, by Dom Hale

Attending to the poetics of lightspeed capital, everyday internet phenomenology and aesthetic refusal, Mau Baiocco explores Dom Hale’s ‘The Noughties’, a poem taken from Hale’s debut collection Scammer (forthcoming, the 87 Press).

> On February 1 a long poem, ‘The Noughties' drops into my inbox. 'I appear / to have failed to purge / my poem of evil' it reads roughly at the halfway point, '502 Bad Gateway / nginx / The literal just lost to me / Nostalgics / for toujours.' ‘The Noughties’ was first circulated as part of Dominic Hale's early 2020 edition of the file/pamphlet Scammer and at 44 pages takes up half of its contents. It is an experiment in serial and durational writing initially taking place between July 2018 and July 2019. Its form as well as composition are fragmentary, with short lines of unevenly indented text cascading down text boxes, an appearance that on the page bears a superficial resemblance to code, but when read aloud has all the jutting immediacy and scattered rhythms of something that cannot be compiled as a program or finished. And though I will attempt to trace questions around the relation between the internet, politics and poetics as they arise in ‘The Noughties’, a new and unprecedented arrival on something that might appear done to death (the ~internet~ poem), it should be noted from the outset that this poem is avowedly provisional, open to alteration and as much a mechanism of response to other poets and events as it is a finished work. Sitting down to appraise it, almost as a private inquiry, feels like refusing some of the poem's own motivations. If ‘The Noughties’ is about anything, it is about exchanges and modulations to be made outside the formal circuits of publishing, the commodity and ultimately capitalism. When read live—as I was lucky to witness twice in 2019—the poem is delivered at a rapid and at times overwhelming speed, straying far from considered intonation and 'poet's voice' but in an oppositional mode long explored by various poets such as Verity Spott, Tom Raworth or Peter Manson. Its text is a camaraderie, in all the inviting and indulging senses of the word.

> To admit the internet into history is to arrest the entirety of its internal logic, its drive towards immediacy and delivery of information on request—or even before we request or begin a search engine lookup, as algorithms quietly dispense tailored content, autoplays and preempt any personal vicissitudes we might have at a given moment. As being online ceases to be a specific activity and becomes the very basis of our lives (and dramatically more so following Covid-19), the internet takes on a phenomenology identical to encountering everyday life: the external world, its colours, the weather, a sentiment, an object. Our words for being online can paint an entire life-world as it is really being experienced. I couldn’t stand it, the internet was so annoying today. This transparency is only superficial: what appears to be truly memoryless, debugged and free of glitches is owed primarily to the quiet labour of developers, data centre workers and content moderators—industries rife with overwork, exploitation and even trauma at the exposure to daily streams of violence and hate. Behind every phenomenal seamlessness is a world of labour and agency that has been wrested away from the internet’s users and makers. This is far from the resource that would remake the public sphere, the heroic age of the developer-hacker-blogger-writer. At some point in our lifetime a transition occurred between accessing a resource and living through its infrastructure. Had it happened any more dramatically we would rightly call it a revolution on par with any other that came before it, with political and interpersonal consequences no less significant than those of any other revolution.

> The critical internet poem, the post-internet long poem, the always-online poem has to account for such a revolution: the gap from Web 1.0 to Web 2.0. It has to account for it as a real event where political and affective possibilities were seized by the powerful and online spaces sequestered and rerouted into sites of economic capture. Hale's 'sorry for cross-posting / stupidly nostalgic for the fucking noughties' is poised at the aftermath of this revolution, speaking back to the first decade of the 2000s through a relentless clash with the proper names for corporations and individuals (Bezos, Cuadrilla, G4S, Bill Gates, Northern Rock, etc) who have shaped the current world we inhabit. Arrayed against them is a belated deference to modes of grassroots management of online spaces (apologies for the cross-post), the ability to render these spaces malleable via creative interventions (forking), techno-utopian dreams that cross with play ('Snorlax used Snore! / Sustainable day') and the metabolic ease and abundance of 'We / eat as we go'. And yet, we are constantly reminded that to move from the past to the present means being carried by a 'katabatic wind'—a ceaseless descent that finds its origins at every point of the noughties and carries us on through to today. These winds, the matter of the skies as an invisible mover, figure prominently in ‘The Noughties’, and they are our guide through the fragmenting online landscapes of the decade since. When the winds reverse they end up 'hoovering / up the teleologies'; ecological catastrophes such as wildfires are seen congealing 'under the / pearling cumulus'. Like the financial flows and exchanges that pervade the poem, winds can go unnoticed until they collapse upon themselves or crash against lives that mean to resist them. These moments are revelatory of a whole structure at once: 'A sky’s a style' or 'A sky’s a clause', the grammar which shapes our political and expressive possibilities is loaded with toxic fumes, global and intimate as weather. It all lays open for contestation.

> In comparison to the fast-moving streams of text, riffs on information and broken data that surround it, a sort of speaking self appears in ‘The Noughties’. The ‘poet himself, as part of as part exposed nervous receptor, part digestor and regurgitator’ as Alex Grafen has written on Scammer’s companion pamphlet/pre-release Addons. It is often rueful, self-castigating and circuitously arrived at. It appears regularly in the guise of a comment or interjection. A distance from the surrounding text—set aside by line breaks and Hale’s deft play with sentential clauses—makes space for simultaneous ironic detachment and sincere observation. This wouldn't be unfamiliar to anyone who spends a lot of time on the internet; it is after all a very common affective position to speak from online. Other forms of internet speech feature in the poem too: textspeak, emoticons, emojis, etc, but my own response settles on moments where this voice appears, as if a remainder of pre-technological communicability:

> Perhaps what makes them stand out is that they are so often addressed and imperative. The imperative falls in line with a poetics of refusal figured in Anne Boyer's essay No, from which Hale draws the epigraph, 'Sometimes our refusal is in our staying put.' Perhaps the commitment to speaking and interjecting works out as a refusal to speechlessness. But this persistence paradoxically discloses very little: it would rather not talk, not participate, go back over itself. On the other hand it may coax a life out of life; its speech becomes more a sort of 'negative silence' which to Boyer is 'the negative’s underhanded form of singing', speaking while not speaking and asking when not asking. I think these gestures of refusal also gain a specific valence within a long durational work such as ‘The Noughties’. From the outset the poem aims to figure as a text of life, a response born from the everyday. This specifies the refusal as a sort of refusal to the everyday temporality out of which it arises, a refusal of the working day or even a refusal to work: 'I will never / be fulfilled by any kind of work.' This is seen more clearly still as the poem develops and the specificities of the decade—war alongside economic boom, proliferation of websites, technologies and interfaces to enact one's self-presentation to the world, to give voice to our newly minted online selves—begin to add up. The voice threatens to drop out entirely:

> In these lines poetry is pitted against the ability to survive the everyday economies of making ends meet. It signals a larger background of sustenance, a whole undisclosed sphere which undergirds the year-long writing of the poem yet cannot be easily verbalised. The gloss we can give to the gap between this sphere and ‘The Noughties’’s own enactment is a no, a refusal to make the link between the circuits words take on page and those of the background out of which they emerge. There is a doubleness to 'now, now', shading over to both 'no, no' but also that the poem must return to its present elaboration, the site of its self-recognition. Reading this gap as a refusal opens the possibility that the poem's own dynamics—the very rhythms it falls into, its very online texture—can militate against the extension of working life into non-working life. 'Hacking', so often the trite word for unauthorised access into systems and circuitry, springs to mind here, but in its older meaning. A sort of choppy relentlessness abounds in ‘The Noughties’, where two types of ‘work’—that of the poem and that of the post-internet working day—extend into one another, bristling at the seams and unveiling oppositions where we could have forgotten there were any.

> In Sleep-Worker's Inquiry, an anonymous text published on the communist journal Endnotes, a tech worker begins to dream in code, coming upon problems raised by their working life and solving them in their sleep. The worker asks if this is meaningfully different from their everyday waged work: 'When I find myself observing myself sleep-working, I observe myself acting in an alienated way, thinking in a manner that is foreign to me, working outside of the formal labour process through the mere spontaneous act of thought.' Self-estrangement has always been an aesthetic resource of the avant-garde, but its possibility always corresponded with the availability of leisure and other types of 'free' time. When our estranged selves are also signed up to the imperatives of production, what spaces are left for the creation of social alterities, dream worlds and landscapes where we do not come under those same imperatives? As technologies extend the working day by making us become forever available to our jobs, as the everyday labour of self-making on social media becomes collated and valorised as data which accrues its owners stock value to be exchanged on the market, distance from any economic activity becomes impossible. It becomes inchoate as the speaker’s voice in ‘The Noughties’, refusing as it proceeds.

> But I find that as I fixate on this voice of refusing, I almost forget that what makes ‘The Noughties’ so enticing to read and pick up is the heaving pile-up of dead data, outmoded imperatives and pithy renderings of cultural touchstones we would rather forget. 'What is this ‘dick chainy’ / and where can I get one?' To hold all these together, to attend to this conflagration of material is also to remember that, profoundly, the noughties were a fucking awful decade, with an enormous amount of political and cultural dead ends that the poem (happily) fails to enumerate. If the noughties represented the smirk of capital at history's end, ‘The Noughties’ enacts its degradation into our modes of present living. But we hold on to our imperatives, to care, to refuse and somehow make a world otherwise.

‘The Noughties’ is taken from Scammer, Dom Hale’s forthcoming collection from the 87 Press. You can watch Hale perform extracts at The Roebuck, London last year:

youtube

Text: Mau Baiocco Published 3/7/20

#poetry #Dom Hale #SPAM Cuts #SPAM Cut #The Noughties #Scammer #87 Press #the 87 press #Mau Baiocco

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