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#i need a mom

Yes i seek attention

Because when i was younger i was rarely noticed.

Because when i was a child i was rarely heard.

Because i grew up w/o a mother despite seeing her almost daily.

Because i was always put down/ shouted at.

Because when i was asking for a hug, i was getting the response “im not a hugging person”

Yes i may go along way to get some attention because i never got some and even as an adult im still craving it.

Its not necessarily bad.

I dont always do it consiously.

Its not because of my BPD.

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So I always read your tags and there`s one " I need a mom" let me say its not I need a mom the correct sentence is I need my mom .... SORRY I DONT WANT TO BE RUDE

Hi anon oh well story time…. about 2 years ago my mom doesnt live with me anymore , she left our house and she is not around anymore , so yeah I need a mom not MY mom just a mom 

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I want to talk to T because no matter how embarrassing or wrong it feels… She feels closest to a mom I have, besides my own mom. Who isn’t much of a mother right now. It hurts. I can’t. I have to wait. I could call in tomorrow, but that just seems wrong since I will be going to group anyway so I should get my help there and I don’t want to be dependent and be wasting her time. But in group we just talk about activities you can do to fill your time (no actually to get back to normal life but whatever that is not happening anyway) and what am I waiting for? I am so tired. I’m so so tired.

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Me listening Stella: You only want me when Im wasted!!
my parents: Oh dear when you get married and live with your husband and…
me: Stella would you take me home!!!
my parents : and when you have kids
me listening rude : Im gonna marry that girl
my parents: and when you have your wedding…

I mean really?

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I don’t need a partner or a spouse I just need someone who will braid my hair and read me bedtime stories

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Today my mom told me - you never talk to me about anything and I dont know who you are, and I was like oh you dont need to and she said yes you are my only child you have to tell me if you are ok and then I remember that she doesnt like lesbians and teachers, and fanfic writers and otakus so … she doesnt like me, she hate everything I am so I smile to her and I said that the weather was nice today and she is mad with me but is better this way

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i used to really believe things would get better and my life would stop going around in circles, but there is so much unfair bullshit that continuously goes on, how could i think things would ever get better.

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