so. SO. my ex (the obsessive one) texted yesterday. so i installed insta again. hm. we've been talking. and like.
i do love him?? but i dont know if i like him anymore. i mean, do we even have that spark anymore? like what was the 'spark' in the first place lmao mutual insanity? all we did when we were together was break up and threaten each other and get in trouble and ruin each other's friendships and talk about wanting to die. like, it was honestly scary. sometimes i would break up w him or something and hed say he was going to khs and that fucked me up, like really badly. but it was also satisfying in some sick fucking way i WANTED him to feel bad but i didn't want him to actually die and he scared me. he did it so many times i felt physically unsafe which is unreasonable right because?? not real??
50% of the time we talked we were reassuring each other that yes i love u no ure not ugly and disgusting and evil I'll be really sad if u die. it messed me up??????? and he was still the only person to ever understand me ykwim????? i never opened up to anyone like that before or after him.
in the end i broke up with him for once and for all and he blocked me some time after that cause he couldn't stay friends w me if he wanted to move on. and yeah like I've been trying to get in touch with him for a year now i hate myself for it i hate myself for being so horrible to him. i did a lot of unacceptable shit when i was w him i was NOT a good partner. and i always ended up making him feel bad for being upset w me. why did i do that like was i really that desperate for love??? was it REALLY love or just some sick need to be needed?
anyways i dated someone else after him and... yeah. didn't work out cause i still kept missing him. so im incapable of being a good faithful partner to ANYONE
i think he wants to get back together and like. im not sure what to do. i really fucking need him, like, genuinely. but hes obv not in his right mind and im obv not in my right mind AND ive only ever used him but hes the closest ive ever felt to love i dont know I DONT KNOW im sorry for everything but i know if i had to do it all again i would do everything the same way
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Entry 3/Grandma Talk Seshs
instead of going to the 2nd concert venue, i ended up going to my grandma's. she needed help taking some stuff over to value village, and i offered to stop by and use my car since it has a big trunk. afterward, we just talked about stuff. she asked about my ex, and i shot the question down immediately. i just said that we weren't talking. i hated that lmao. i didn't tell anyone in my family about my ex when we were dating, and after we broke up except my grandma. im not out to anyone explicitly, but i dont hide my queerness either. it's definitely a dont ask, dont tell type of situation. anyways, we talked about my grandpa, who i live with. they got divorced 20 some years ago, but they're still good friends. while talking about her and my grandpa, i realized that i relate to a lot of their problems and stuff, but not in a way that i feel more connected and could seek reassurance in my own situation. i think the main barrier that i put up is due to our age gap. one of the topics she started with was how she had a sort of date tonight but wasn't going to go. i thought she should've but didn't try to convince her to go. she was saying that she's starting to really come to terms with her loneliness and being alone in general at 61. im glad that she's coming to terms with her situation, but as guilty and awful as it sounds, i can't let myself end up like her. she wasted so much time on raising my cousin, which i won't get into, but the way she cut people out of her life to do so. and also another thought i had is im sort of scared that i won't come to accept my own loneliness until im old and even more insignificant. lately, due to social get togethers and situations, i thought that i honestly do a lot better when im by myself, and i really do. im more focused on myself and working towards my goals. but im not truly happy by myself. so i find friends and recently tried to date. now im tired of my friends. not in a way that i'd discard them, but i feel like we just aren't good for each other now. and dating didn't go well. like my grandma said tonight "if you put me in a room with 300 people, ill always pick the one thats more damaged than i am and tear myself apart while i try so hard to help and be the best (worse) version i am for that person" and i really see how my family, my mom, my aunt, my uncles, and me. i hate that. why can't i be different and break away from this curse. this tragedy. to love people with everything and to receive nothing. to feel unlovable as a result. anyways, so basically, i know and understand that others can't complete myself, but i can't seem to complete myself either. and i just have to come to terms with it? this is just how it is? that's sucky and shitty. but im 17, so what do i know. time will be the deciding factor, i guess.
we also talked about school and moving. i cant wait to move and be on my own. but again i keep thinking about how lonely that'll feel. its whatever though. she asked if i still wanted to move to portland for school. i told her that i would just move to portland and lie about going to school. she asked why portland then? if youre going to lie about going to the school then you could lie about where you're moving to. i could. i honesty could. i would too. im suppose to move in with my 2 friends but neither of them, though they're serious about moving together, put no effort in finding jobs, saving or discussing the actual factors that go into moving together. we have about two years before we'd move so i know there plenty of time for them to figure it out but i over think everything and feel like i have less time than in actuality. again im 17 and i should know i have so much time to figure this stuff out but i really dont feel like i do.
i'll make another post again later tonight, probably, with a lighter and fun topic, hopefully. talk to you again soon.
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it’s miserable here i cant do shit
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acquainted | five
> series masterlist <
summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)
words: 4.2k
warnings: implied sexual content, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, club scene, alcohol consumption, intoxication, seokjin is ready to risk it all cause reader is a huge flirt, the love triangle mess shall begin
notes: AH IM SORRY, THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY?!? I TRIED to make this as fair as possible, but i..... clearly have an issue and just really wanted this to be messy lmao
tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
"Waddup bro." Namjoon steps aside to let Jin in. "Wasn't expecting you to come by since we're seeing each other tonight." Jin chuckled.
"Fuck, that's right." Joon laughs as he hands Jin a bottle of water before sitting.
"What, you forgot? You planned this for your own stepbrother."
"No, I know. Just a lot of things going on." He sips on his water, manspreading in Namjoon's loveseat in the livingroom. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, the headache he felt earlier this morning no longer as bad, but still lingered. After getting home last night, he had tried to push you out of his mind, but failed miserably. It didn't help that he really and genuinely tried to clear the air with Grace, only for her to push him off and sleep on the far end of their bed.
"You alright? What's going on? I feel like I haven't seen you this stressed in a really long time. Last time was probably when you were planning your proposal." Jin softly chuckles, his head still tilted back.
"Yeah, it's been quite the shit show lately."
"Can't be that bad, can it? Have you and Grace been fighting?"
"A tad."
"A tad? The way you're acting right now says it's much more than a tad."
"We've been distant. Busy. We don't do things together anymore." He shortens the shpeel cause quite frankly, he's tired of repeating the story even though he hasn't told many people.
"Why don't you guys talk about it?"
"We can't communicate properly. I try, she gets even more upset and blows me off."
"It's probably just a rough patch in your relationship. I'm sure if you just give each other enough space, you could figure out how to fix things and have a serious conversation about where you both are at and what you need from each other. Remind each other that you're a team, and not working against each other." Jin's slightly shot his head up, his eyebrow raised.
"That's actually pretty solid advice coming from you."
"Shut up, you need help right?" Joon laughs.
"You're right though, it's just been hard. I feel like we've been constantly pushing each other away."
"You two are stubborn."
"Yup, that too." Jin sipped his water.
"I know that's not the only thing on your mind." If it was anyone in Jin's circle, you could count on Namjoon to figure things out before you can even say anything to him. "It's a little hard to believe you came over here to tell me this." In which, he's right. Jin never really talked about his relationship problems, let alone did he go out of his way to tell his friends what was going on. It was more of a thing that naturally came up in conversation when they were all together.
"Don't know what you're talking about." Joon shakes his head.
"Who is she?" Jin watches Namjoon's curious eyes as he leans into the palm of his hand. He was trying to come up with excuses or find ways to see himself out of his conversation, but he couldn't. Namjoon was too smart for this. If it were Yoongi or Hoseok, maybe he could get away with it. The only thing that Jin can come up with is a stupid smirk before he shakes his head and breaks eye contact. "See."
"See what?"
"That smirk. You can't tell me I don't know that smirk. I've been there before, dude. Who is she?" He repeats, causing Jin to succumb to defeat.
"She's a grad student in my creative writing class." Namjoon pauses before he bursts out in laughter.
"I need to sit back and get comfy on my couch for this." He says leaning back and crossing his arms. "She's a grad student? What's her name?" Jin nods.
"Y/N. 25 and so fucking attractive. It's frustrating." Jin groans into his hands.
"And you're telling me you see her more than just a distraction? I mean, I have to ask cause you are going through a rough patch with Grace." Although this is definitely not what Namjoon agrees with, he was only going to advise Jin on how to approach things. But execution-wise, it was up to Jin because this was his life. Namjoon was only part of it.
"She's smart, and she's fun. And.. she's refreshing."
"What did she do to make you feel this way?"
"She kissed me. In my classroom. And," Jin swallows the lump in his throat. "It happened again last night. It almost escalated into other things. But she stopped it." He quickly says because he can see Namjoon's facial expression changing. "She stopped it and she put me in my place because it just made things even more complicated. She said that we should keep our distance from each other."
"Which, she's right Jin. You really can't be doing this." Namjoon says sternly. "Please don't be stupid. This can hurt alot of people, especially since you're still engaged to Grace."
"I know, but likeeeeee--"
"No but's." Joon shook his head. Honestly, he didn't expect this behavior from Jin and it concerned him. "I can't force you on how to act, that's solely up to you. But you need to understand that it has to be one or the other, it can't be both. You either try and work things out with Grace and leave Y/N alone, or you call it quits with Grace."
"Y/N has been occupying my mind lately and it's been hard to push her out."
"Maybe that should be a sign as to what you need to do?" Joon sighs. "I don't know. I don't know her, so I can't say much, but are you really ready to throw away all these years with Grace for her? Like, is it really that serious?" Jin shrugged.
"I don't know, she doesn't want this."
"Correction - she doesn't want this because you're engaged. It's obvious that things would be different if the circumstances changed."
"I love Grace. A lot. We've been through so many things together, lots of ups and downs that taught us things."
"Yeah, and I love you both. I love Grace like a sister. But you can't stick around just because of history and because you both are comfortable, if that's what it really comes down to. It's not fair for both parties. If you find out that this is the end of your relationship with Grace, then it's the end."
"I'm just torn."
"Look, whatever you do, know that I support you no matter what and I'm always going to be here for you. But please do this right, no matter what that is. You can't have both of them."
"Yeah I know, I hear you." Joon nods.
"You're selfish, you know that?" Joon laughs. "You couldn't even introduce her to your single friends?" Jin smiled.
"Nope. Finders keepers." Joon rose his middle finger. "Just do me a favor and keep your mouth shut until I tell Yoongi and Hoseok myself."
"Sure, whatever. Not my battle anyways." He stood up and stretched. "So, where are we taking your little Jungkookie tonight?"
"The club so he can get some for his birthday."
"What a good older brother." Jin laughed.
"Is Grace in New York already?"
"Yep. I'm probably just going to head home and sleep until then. I don't remember the last time I stayed up this late, let alone the last time I went to a club."
"Yeah go home, and not to Y/N's house."
"Should I?" Jin joked, but Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding, don't worry. Everything didn't just go in one ear and out the other."
"Yeah, please reassure me and tell me that I didn't waste time giving you advice."
"Oh my god, hurry up!" Jimin groaned loudly as he laid sloppily on your couch, getting restless while waiting for you, Ryujin and Taehyung to finish getting ready. To be fair, you all had been getting ready and fooling around for 2 hours, while Jimin sat patiently and watched whatever was on TV.
"Shut up, Jimin! I'm going to make sure I look good tonight." Ryujin yelled back.
"For who?"
"The dick I'll be getting."
"Why did I even ask?" Jimin sighed and dug his head into a pillow while you and Ryujin continued to yell and sing along loudly to every song that came through on your bluetooth speakers. "You all look good already, please, what else do you need to do?" He mumbled into the pillow. Don't get him wrong, he loves you all to death. He truly does. But it's just been such a long time since you all have gone out like this. He forgot what it was like.
"You know, she really means me." Taehyung tugged on his collar and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.
"Okay, honestly. You two should probably fuck already. Get it out of your systems, you know?" You say as you dab lip gloss on your lips before shrugging and rolling your eyes. "Jesus Christ."
"Okay, no. You're supposed to be on my side, and that doesn't help." Ryujin's cheeks flush to a rosy tint as she pulls you aside. You knew damn well she was feeling embarrassed because it was true. She wanted to. Once Ryujin finally dusted herself off and was satisfied with her outfit, you both walked out into the living room to meet Jimin and Taehyung. Their eyes widened as they caught sight of you two, Ryujin in a pink, ruched dress with matching pink heels and you in a matching 2-piece skirt and low cut crop top.
"Oh shit, you both look good as hell." Taehyung says as he gets up and continues to eye both of you up and down. Mostly Ryujin, though. "Shall we head out?"
"Yup!" You say as you come to Jimin's side and lead the way out of your apartment. Jimin decided he'd drive tonight since he didn't feel like drinking too much, but he still wanted to go out and have fun. The crew headed to grab dinner at the Farmhouse Kitchen, which served the best Thai food in town. You all enjoyed some good grub, along with some really strong cocktails. You felt super happy that you all had time to finally do this since it's been a minute. You felt like you could finally let lose and get your mind off of things. The things that your dearest bestfriends don't even know about.
But, stories for other days. Tonight, you felt good and you looked good. You were all that and then some. Maybe tonight was the night you could meet a single, fine ass man to dance up on and act up with.
The cocktails were hitting you and Ryujin the most, already feeling tipsy before heading into the club.
"Wooooo!" Ryujin yelled before laughing out loud. "I'm ready!"
"Okay, yes, same, but please keep it together so we can at least make it inside the club." Jimin pleaded. He led your crew up to security, flashing your IDs one by one and paying for the cover fee before stepping in to the already packed nightclub. You and your friends ended up walking in a straight line, holding each other's hands to navigate through the crowd to the bottom floor. The top floor was the most crowded, being it was the house / EDM floor, while the bottom Hip Hop floor wasn't too jammed packed.
"Shots, my friends?" Taehyung asks as he swings over to the front of the bar. You follow behind him and line up against the bartender, asking for some good ol' Don Julio tequila. It wasn't your fave, but it was definitely Taehyung's go-to, and you can't lie, it got the job done quick for you. You all stick around the bar to take your shots, kicking them back to back [besides Jimin] to really get this night started.
As you waited for the final around, Taehyung is scanning the room and notices a group loudly making their way from down the steps and over to the bar. They were cheering on whoever the birthday boy was. A face in the group had looked familiar, so Taehyung squints his eyes to get a better look, and realizes its no other than Jin with his friends.
"Oh, shit! Look! Mr. Kim's here!" Taehyung laughs and says loudly, pointing towards the other end of the bar.
"Is he really?! Let's go take a shot with him and his friends!" Ryujin squeals as she sees him come into full view. You too, get a glimpse of him as they approach the bar and suddenly, you felt hot and nervous - the alcohol being of no help during this time. He looked good, and he didn't look like the already-handsome-professor you had. His hair was more natural, slightly curly, and almost like he had showered and let it messily air dry. The look was perfect on him. Not gonna lie, you were somewhat happy he was here to see how good you looked and part of you really wanted him to crave you until he couldn't take it anymore. You wanted to drive him crazy, and little did you know that you already were. It was a game you didn't mind playing, especially since you knew you couldn't have him.
You shouldn't.
"Ayeeeee! Mr. Kim!" Taehyung's ass yells with Ryujin cheering in the back. He does nothing but flash that smile of his while chuckling. His friends are all really handsome as well, one especially caught your eye with the way his wavy black hair fell down his eyes as he stood against the bar in black ripped jeans and a button up shirt. He seemed to be the youngest out of the group, but you were just assuming.
"Let's take a shot! On me!" Ryujin yells as she runs over with her loud ass. You follow behind her with Taehyung and Jimin, slightly hiding behind Jimin since you were feeling a little shy and awkward at this encounter. The events of the past days just flashed before your eyes, and you can feel Jin's eyes burning holes through you from your peripherals.
"These are your students?" You overhear as one of them looks behind at Jin and laughs.
"Yup." Is all he says, hands deep into his pockets.
"That's her isn't it?" Namjoon says in his ear, loud enough to make sure its clear over the music blasting. Jin simply looks at him without saying a word before returning his attention back on Jungkook, who he noticed was eyeing you. The look said everything to Namjoon.
"Do you know her?" Jungkook points at you and Jin nods.
"Why?"
"Why? She's gorgeous." His eyes light up, causing Namjoon to slightly choke and laugh behind Jin.
"Go for it." Is all Jin says. He's honestly livid right now, because the thought of someone else being able to get a taste of you while he hasn't fucks him up.
"Ohhh, boy." Namjoon sighs. "I hope you're truly over her or else it's going to get really fucked up, you know that right?"
"Don't worry about it." He says, dismissing him as he takes the shot from Yoongi's hand and immediately downs it.
"Hey." The black-haired cutie that caught your eye pushed his way through the group to come into full view. "I'm Jungkook."
"Y/N." You lightly shake his hand before tucking a strand behind your ear.
"I just wanted to say that you're absolutely gorgeous." He says cutely, his hands tucked into his pockets.
"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."
"I, uh—"
"It's his 23rd birthday today!" One of the guys against the bar yells, grabbing Jungkook's shoulders and playfully massaging it.
"Yeah, it's his birthday Y/N! Give the boy some love!" Ryujin winked from where she was at.
"Happy Birthday." You chuckled as he nods.
"Thanks. Maybeeeee you can bless me with a dance after this shot?" He asked shyly. Boy, was he fucking attractive. You could see his thighs poking through the rips of his jeans, his sharp collarbone poking out from the unbuttoned portion of his shirt and his arm muscles defined even in the dark.
"Yeah, I'd love to." You leaned back against the bar as he stood next to you, waiting for the round of shots to come. "Are these your friends?" He chuckled.
"More like big brothers? That's Yoongi, that's Hoseok and that's Namjoon. They're Jin's friends. Jin is my stepbrother." You swallowed the lump in your throat as you quickly glance at Jin, who's side-eyeing you as he leans against the bar. You have got to be fucking kidding me. God was truly testing you.
"Ohhhh." You respond. "That's sweet of them to take you out."
"I honestly didn't wanna do much, let alone come to the club. It's not really my thing, but I'm glad I did or else I wouldn't have met you." He smiled, his smile being just as perfect as his stepbrother's.
"I'm glad I could make your birthday a good one after all." Ryujin suddenly comes to your side and gives your arm a good squeeze.
"He's a cutie! You better hop on that since Mr.Kim is taken." She says in your ear, pulling you into a hug.
"That's his stepbrother."
"Even better!" She exclaims, making you shake your head. You all gather and take the last round of shots in honor of Jungkook's birthday and shit gets wild, quick. Your group led them to the dance floor, partying together like you had known them since forever. It didn't feel awkward at all knowing it was Jin and group of friends, but it did get awkward when you felt the tension with Jin every time you were near him. He didn't like seeing you dance all up on his stepbrother, getting all handsy and touchy-feely when just the other night, you were straddling his lap, ready to risk it all.
Hell, what was he gonna do though? He couldn't do shit. Not with his people around, especially Namjoon.
You knew this. He didn't have to say anything for you to know he wasn't a fan of it. You'd catch him looking at you throughout the night, his eyes hungry and almost dark. Let's get this straight - there's no bad blood here. You're not mad or bitter [slightly]. You're just having your fun because you're single and can do whatever the fuck you want. You know he wants you, what's wrong with a little tease?
A couple of songs have passed and Ryujin has made her way through Taehyung, Yoongi and Namjoon, and now she was back to doing her own thing on the dance floor. Jimin has had a couple of ladies welcome themselves onto his lap, and he gladly accepted. You loved seeing Jimin have fun and you especially loved when girls swooned at the sight of him because he was deserving of it and he was mighty good looking. He always worked hard and never gave himself a break.
You, on the other hand, had been stuck to the hip with Jungkook and you had brought him deeper into the dance floor, away from the group just to get a little alone time. You had danced up on him majority of the night, his muscular arms always gently bringing you back against his body. You both were feeling some type of way with the alcohol running through your veins, but you weren't complaining one bit. Alcohol or not, Jungkook was fine.
"So, are you going to let me take you out on a date?" Jungkook asks in your ear, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.
"I'd love to go out on a date with you." You face him, his smile going from ear to ear as he nods and starts taking down your number. To be honest, you could be here all night with him, but you decided you needed a break from all this dancing and from the crowded dance floor. You quickly excuse yourself to the bathroom, suddenly needing to break the seal really badly and freshen up. As you were exiting the bathroom, Jin was also exiting the men's bathroom at the same time. You both locked eyes, with you breaking the contact with a small, toothless smile before walking off.
"Y/N." He says, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him. His body is against the back wall, both of your groups distant and not as visible from where you're standing. He looks down at you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.
"Jin."
"You haven't said one word to me all night."
"I'm trying to keep my distance from you, remember?"
"You know that's not necessary." His hand was now on the small of your back, fingers gently caressing your back in small circles.
"It is. You know what you do to me." You say as you look down at his lips. Truthfully.
"And so do you." You can feel his breath against your skin and it sends goosebumps down your entire body. You're trying your hardest right now to not get turned on by this man, let alone throw yourself onto him. "This isn't fair, you know?"
"I gotta get back to everyone." You say, slightly pulling back.
"Just for the record," He gently pulls you back, his other hand lifting your chin. "Jungkook might have you right now, but I know in the end you'll be coming home to me and that's all that matters." He lets go of your wrist and walks away, leaving you slightly dumbfounded at the way he stood his ground like that. Your panties felt soaked, and you wanted nothing more but to ride this man into the next dimension. He was truly testing you, and quite frankly, you could burst any minute now.
"You okay?" Jimin says, lightly squeezing your arm. "You were gone for awhile."
"Yeah, long line." You lied.
"We're thinking about heading out, you good with that?" You nod silently. You look around to see Ryujin flirting with Yoongi and Namjoon, making you shoot him a look. "Not me, all you. Go get her." He shakes his head, chuckling.
"Alright, I need to say bye to Jungkook anyways."
"Oooh, Jungkook." He wiggles his eyebrows. You make your way over to the area that Jin and his friends are occupying, prying Ryujin's drunk ass away. You give Jungkook a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, letting him know you'd be waiting for his text.
Finally, you all headed out of the club and into Jimin's car, Ryujin being the first drop off of the night. Thank God he had decided to drive, because all three of you were still pretty tipsy and in no condition to get behind the wheel.
"Y/N, listen to me. You need to hop on Jungkook because he's fine as fuck!" Ryujin's drunk ass yells in the backseat as Jimin is making his way to her house.
"Ouch, Ry, stop kicking my chair." Jimin whines.
"Y/N, did you hear me?"
"I hear you loud and clear, Ry. Thank you." You laugh.
"And you, Jimin! I hope you grabbed a ton of numbers because there were tons of pretty ladies feeling you tonight and you need a girl!"
"Perfect, thank you for pointing out how single I am." He says, making Taehyung snorts.
"What about me?"
"Shut up, Tae. You don't need shit. Mind your own business." You and Jimin laugh in your seats.
"Also, Mr. Kim was really eyeing the hell out of you tonight, Y/N." She adds, making you sigh silently to yourself.
"Actually, I concur." Jimin chimes in. "He couldn't keep his eyes off of you."
"Mistress Y/N." Taehyung calls out, causing you to turn and pinch him on the leg. If you haven't gotten it by now, Tae loves to tease the fuck out of you by calling you a mistress. It's been his thing since you got all googly-eyed for him. And you hated it. You truly wanted to fight him every single time.
"It was nothing. He was probably just drunk."
"Sure." Jimin responds. "Call it what you want, he was definitely feeling you tonight." The ride goes silent, which, you're happy that none of them are pressing on it. You were not trying to get caught up at this moment.
Ryujin gets dropped off before Jimin makes his way to your apartment, parking in the yellow passenger/loading zone. Taehyung is knocked out in the back seat, while Jimin throws his hazards on and walks you to the front door of the lobby.
"Thanks for driving, Chim." He smiles and pulls you into a hug.
"No prob. Call me if you need me?" You nod. You walk in and get into the elevator, Jimin and his car disappearing in sight. You take a deep breath and sigh because you had been having an internal battle since the moment you stepped out of the club.
You were losing.
You stepped out of the elevator, only to step into your apartment to quickly freshen up and throw on comfier clothes. You find yourself heading back downstairs to meet your Uber. You knew exactly where you were going and you knew exactly what you were doing.
But you didn't give a fuck. You had been dying to get your needs fulfilled and the only person you wanted was a quick 25 minute Uber trip away.
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wait holy shit youre taking requests???? okay first of all, im in love with your writing skills especially those true forms they are *chefs kiss* magnifique. second, may i request for an angst but fluff ending prompt for barbatos/simeon/solomon (im an absolute simp for them) about MC having a really bad asthma attack and coupled with anxiety attack? (totally not me lmao) please and thank you! sorry for being too specific!
A/N: Oshbagosh! I hope you are good fam! You have excellent taste in simpin ngl Barbatos came out of left field for me, though I am weak for a quick wit and sharp tongue lol. And thank you for liking my works! Sorry, this took so long;.;
I hope my research was good and accurate!
Barbatos
Does not know what is going on at first. Were you having an allergic reaction to something you ate? Had you gotten into some Devildom spices he hadn’t secured well enough?
Panics internally. He is very ready to spend the exurbanite amount of energy it would take to turn back the clocks before you started wheezing.
Externally he keeps a level head, glad his gloves hide how sweaty his palms are. He remembers then your human medical file.
He tends to you quickly grabbing your medication and carrying you away from whatever triggered this attack.
“Do you need a doctor?” Barbatos asks for the umpteenth time. He runs a gloved hand up and down your back. You shake your head weakly coughing to try and dislodge some phlegm now breakdown in your throat. You take a shaky breath feeling your airways loosen, the fresh air that fills your lungs taste so sweet.
“I’ll be ok Barb.” You wheeze taking another deep inhale from your inhaler. “Stop hovering and sit please, you are starting to stress me out more.” The demon makes a weird tutting noise in distress but comes to sit next to you. You lean back with a groan. The garden wall was rough on your back but you didn’t care at the moment. It had been so long since you had a flare-up you had almost forgotten what it felt like. You shift over slightly seeking out the heat of your companion's body. Exhausted you flop over to rest your head on his shoulder.
“Here let me.” He pulls out his ornate handkerchief and starts whipping at your nose and eyes. “What triggered this love? Have I missed someplace in my cleaning?” He knew he didn’t, never in all his years had he ever missed a spot. He would retire in shame if he did, but he felt like he had to fill the silence. If you were talking that meant you were alright. Right? He curses at himself. He thought he knew more about humans than this, yet you somehow threw curveball after curveball at him. He needs you to be safe and happy yet he choked on something like this? Perhaps he would suffer more of Solomon’s companionship to pick his brain on human ailments. As long as he could dodge eating any of his cooks.
You fidget as he cleans your face and fusses over you, but you let him. This was for his benefit more than yours. “No, I think it's pollen. Your plants are not something I’m used to yet, and with the wind, it just hit harder.” He grunts, not pleased with your answer. He could do anything about the plants, and things out of his control were few and far between. You catch the inner argument he was having with his many selves and scoff. “Barb-” You take the cloth from him and tuck it in your pocket. “You and all your selves absolutely cannot control my illness, and that's ok.” He doesn’t look convinced, no doubt looking for a loophole in the webs he weaves.
“Given the time I-” He stops at your withering look. “I don’t like not being in control.” Your look softens.
“Who does?” You clear your throat finally feeling a bit more like yourself. Well, at least the garden wasn’t spinning anymore. “There. I think I can manage. Can you help me to the nurses' office? I should get a check-up since it’s been a while since I’ve had an attack. Then I think I’m going to call it a day.”
Barbatos nods helping you to your shaky feet. His hands locked around your arm like he was afraid you would crumble again. You give him a reassuring look and lean into his weight. You didn’t need it, but it was a nice feeling, being looked after. Besides, it was so rare to get his sole attention. “I’ll inform the young master that we will be taking the rest of the day off.”
“We?”
“Of course.” He says resolutely. “Unless you wish for me to leave?” He barely contains his smile when he feels your hands squeeze tighter around his bicep.
“As long as I’m not impeding.” Your words are half-hearted at best. You don’t give a damn if it throws off some super-secret agenda, you were happy to have more time with him. He calmed your nerves.
Simeon
He hadn’t meant to trigger an attack. The weather outside was simply lovely. It was dry and warm with a breeze that made grass dance in a mesmerizing way. The track around one of the Devildom’s many bodies of crystalline water was beautiful at this time of the day. He had to share his enthusiasm.
He just wanted to go for a walk with you. He had so much to talk about with you that he forgot how long his legs are compared to yours. He was so excited he didn’t realize how fast his gait is and how much you were struggling to keep up with him. He didn’t realize your troubles until he felt a sweaty palm on his wrist.
Openingly gets panicked but knows about human medicine and where you store your inhaler.
Simeon breathes deeply through his nose and out his mouth. One deep inhale and one long exhale- focus just focus. His chest clenches in alarm at your shallow pants, his eyesight narrowing down to pinpricks. Blessedly he keeps a steady hand.
“Slowly now my dear.” He shakes your inhaler before bringing it to your lips. His strong fingers massaging your jaw to loosen it. Squeezing your cheeks he slips the apparatus past your teeth noticing how glassy your eyes were becoming. “Inhale.” He orders thanking his father you understand him enough to comply. He watches you like a hawk till he hears your heartbeat steady. Once he is sure he could look away he calls Lucifer. He doesn’t remember what he said, but he knew it was a panic-fueled rush.
“Simeon,” He looks up from his phone. “I’m ok…” You wheeze blinking up into the afternoon moons. Simeon shushes you running his warm hands over your cheeks. They were ice-cold despite the heat. He warms his palms with magic watching the fog clear from your gaze. “Thanks.”
“You shouldn’t thank me.” He pulls away, shaking his head. “This is my fault. I apologize, my dove.” You chuckle breathlessly becoming aware of your surroundings. Last thing you remember was walking up the shoreline. Now the hardwood of the bench pokes at your back. Had you collapsed here? Or did Simeon carry you over? “I should have been more aware of the situation.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. His lower lip turns red as he worries it with his teeth.
You swat his hand away from his hair wincing in sympathy when a few chunks of hair that follow. Linking his dexterous fingers with your clammy ones, you trace the lines in his palm with your thumb. You try to breathe in time with the steady rise and fall of his chest letting your meds take full effect. Your breathing was better, but you still had spots in your vision. “It’s not your fault really. I should have told you when I started feeling bad.”
“I should have noticed. How can I protect you if I can’t even realize your limitations?” He bemoans. You exhale a jerky laugh. Your lungs throbbing with the sharp movement. It ached for sure, but not enough that you couldn’t get up. Ignoring his protests you get off the bench and pull him up with you.
“None of that!” You wag a finger in his face. I’m allowed to panic, not you. You try to make light of the situation but your finger trembles in his face. “You did exactly what you should have so don’t doubt yourself. Sides’-” You clasp yours. hands together playing with your thumbs. “I got horribly distracted too, and pushed myself.”
“By what?”
“You.” Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. “ You were so excited to have the day with me I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”
Simeon blinks. “You-didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling me you were having an asthma attack?” You shrug, a childish smile crossing your face. Unbelievable. Simeon swears under his breath. “I-I am at a loss for words.” He places both his hands on your shoulders squeezing them. “I will find them later and then we'll talk about your amazing lack of self-preservation, but for now, Lucifer is waiting for us at the nurses' office.” Not giving you time to argue he scoops you up, arm holding you under your knees and securely around your shoulders. Once he knew you were safe, he would make sure to have an eye on you at all times.
Solomon
The dusty old library located in the catacombs of the school was a dead giveaway to be trouble for your lungs. You both knew that. He warns you, the moment you feel ill they are leaving, no questions, no arguments. Very much the calmest of the three. He is human...mostly… so he knows the signs and can catch it much faster than the others.
Still worried about you though. You aren’t a mage, just his regular old human.
When he gets nervous he makes jokes. Not appropriate given the circumstances but they just come out. So while he is dragging you from the school he is making the obligatory joke about him taking your breath away.
He will have whatever medications or potions he can think of at the ready for you to use if you need them. Won’t baby you or hover, you’ve lived with this for long he doesn’t want to insult you in any way. But he will keep close and have his ringer on loud in case you need him.
But now he wants you to rest and recover. He’ll keep you company though.
You gaze sleepily out of the bedroom window propped up on an exorbitant amount of puffs and pillows. You breathe out with caution, testing to see if you were still having any lingering effects from being down in the catacombs. It wasn’t anything too serious this time, thankfully. The moment you started clearing your throat and breathing just a little too hard to be considered normal, Soloman had grabbed both your bags and dragged you from the moldy and dusty space. You were a little put out at how quickly your asthma had acted up. You had just found the book you were looking for too.
“If you keep squirming out of your blankets I’ll seal you in there with magic.” Your captor friend appears, pulling aside the drapes around his bed to sit next to you. He flashes you a cocky grin placing a tray on his bedside table. Solomon scans your face looking for any inkling of pain that might linger. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m hot.” You lie. In truth, the many blankets he wrapped you in felt marvelous, but you were being cantankerous. You wanted to get up and go back to work. The mage raises a pale brow, not believing a word of it.
“Of course you are, my little scholar.” He tucks you in again a little tighter then props your cocooned feet on his legs. “How are you really?”
You shrug. Compared to other attacks you’ve had this one was thankfully mild. Most likely because he had whisked you out the winding maze-like library faster than you thought possible. The jitters from the panic attack that followed took more out of you. Luckily for you, Solomon handled that easily too. “You know I want to go back.” You had your hands on the book you wanted when you started feeling a little breathless. You wanted to believe it was out of excitement for the tomes. But the back of that section of the library was damp, cool, and dark. The perfect trifecta for your lungs to riot.
Solomon nodded unfazed. “Yes, I’ve come to realize that whenever danger is present you seem to gravitate towards it.” He smiles fondly at your pout. Your thirst for knowledge was almost as insatiable as his, and both of you seemed to have a knack for attracting danger. He watches you fidget in your confines for a little bit more before sighing. “Alright-alright, I get the drift hold still.” Leaning over you he loosens the covers around your arms to give you a little bit of freedom. As soon as you were free you pinch his nose hard in retaliation. “Oi!” He laughs pulling back to rub at his nose. “Such violence! And here I came bearing gifts!”
“That’s for insulting me!” You huff settling back down. “I hope it’s food, I’m starving.” You eye him expectantly.
“Feed you? After that assault? My, you are brazing.” He picks up the tray he brought despite himself. The school cafe was serving your favorites today. Placing it on your lap he brushes his lips across your cheek. “Plus, I made tea.” You hum in excitement, eyes lighting up with glee. While he couldn’t cook worth a damn (you chalk it up to him irretrievably destroying his sense of taste and smell tolling over potions for years). He did have amazing luck with blending tea leaves and spices. A skill he severely took for granted.
You pick up the tea and breath deeply only to have a coughing fit. His warm broad hands are there in an instant pushing you back into the pillows. “Sorry-sorry. Still a bit tender.” You smile through watery eyes. “It smells great!”
“Does it? What do you smell? I admit, I just picked out things that looked pretty together.” He flushes pink rubbing at the back of his neck.
You take the cup again and sniff. It had a hint of springtime in it, warm and sharp. Something earthy mixed with fire. You take a sip. “Hmm, spicy. Is that licorice?” Solomon nods.
“It is indeed, I read that licorice and black pepper can help with asthma symptoms and circulation. I figured it could wash the taste of your meds away.” He jokes watching you eat and take small sips of the steaming brew. He smiles to himself, glad you could get so comfortable in his room. Perhaps once you were dozing he could slip back into the library and conveniently “borrow” the book you had to leave earlier.
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the sun will rise again - mlp fic p2
part one
contents: aj and big mac are like. 13 and 15. big mac realizes she is a trans woman, and is guided by applejack, but there is much more to it than just that lol. its also a little hard for her. sappy, feel-good, tough internal conflict but overall happy fic.
paragraph one is previewed here, the rest is below the cut!
disclaimer: there is no transphobia in this fic lmao im not gonna write abt horse transphobia. this is a feel good. but cw for fear of outing
(note: i am aware my blog makes posts a little hard to read bc of a glitch, i am trying to fix it at the moment, i apologize D: i rec reading it on tumblr mobile or highlighting the words as you read, im sorry!)
paragraph one:
The wind whispered lovingly, cooling little Big Mac and Applejack's drowsy heads. A time like this in a young pony's life can be very confusing, something the two of them had grown to be very familiar with. Applejack rested his backside against the trunk of one of his family's old apple trees, if they had no where else to take solace, at least they had the orchard and each other's company, he thought. It felt nice, having this little secret kept safe by somepony you knew would protect it, and who still cared about you just the same. "If nopony accepts us, at least we have each other. I don't care if it's just you and me, Big Mac, we'll be jus' fine." Applejack stated in a soft voice, breaking the silence. He was accepting of his circumstances, no matter how they turned out. As long as him and his sister ended up okay. And again, he was sure they would. Big Mac smiled and folded her hooves neatly, "Eeyup."
-
Applejack worked his fluffy hooves through Big Mac's mane, doing his absolute best to make the fine ginger hair into a braid. He wanted to do something nice for his sister, something to celebrate her bravery and courage in realizing - and telling - Applejack, and he wanted her to feel nice in her own body, even if she couldn't change much right now, or for a while. No matter how small the act, Big Mac was especially grateful. Nobody had ever treated her like this, on purpose at least, like she was a mare. And every chance Applejack could sieze he would do just that, remind her that was what, *who* she was. "So, Big Mac, what do you reckon I call you now?" With that her eyes widened, and her brows furrowed, it caught her off guard. "Like...my name? I didn't know I could change my name..." she let out, slightly confused, a tender hoof raising to her chin as she thought hard. "Yeah!" AJ beamed, not straying from his tedious work. Big Mac, still lying down, started shuffling her hooves again. "Well... I always thought if I were a girl my name would be something pretty, which I mean, I am a girl and all, but I don't feel very pretty ever," she admitted disheartened. "You're plenty pretty! You're an Apple! You wouldn't say Ma or Granny wasn't pretty, would you?" Applejack pointed out, gesturing absentmindedly in the air with his hooves, then promptly returning back to his work, being sure to keep a steady hoof. "Well... Nope." Big Mac blurted awkwardly, pursing her lips. "But-" she began. "No 'but's'!" Applejack interjected, "You're an Apple, and a dang pretty one!" Applejack closed his eyes and lifted his head proudly, putting his non-dominant hoof against his puffed chest, "Look at me, I'm an Apple and I'd say I'm awful handsome, just like Pa!" he said with an endearing foal-like passion and certainty. He chuckled, his cheeks growing slightly cherry as he let out a tiny chuckle, and got back to his work, about a quarter way down the locks.
Big Mac grinned slightly, "I suppose," and tapped her hooves together shyly, playing with the grass falling between them. "You know, I always did think my mane was a little long for a stallion," she laughed playfully, diverting from the subject and trying to reassure herself. She went to touch her mane, and was swiftly batted away by Applejack's quick hoof, "Nuh-uh Big Mac, I'm workin' here. Don't go touchin' it now," he said sternly but still non-maliciously. He just wanted it to look perfect for his big sister, he wanted her to be proud, and feel as pretty as she could. Applejack wanted to know how it felt to look pretty, too, but in the way he'd always dreamed of. He wondered often if he'd ever get the blessing of such a wonderful feeling.
"Applejack, do you ever wish you were born a colt?" Big mac asked genuinely, still a little unsure of what Applejack was feeling, but knowing there was solidarity in it somewhere, she just had to understand it a little more. "Well - not really," Applejack spat out, his eyes looking away from his busy hooves, and quickly darting back to them before he drifted off in fantasy. He thought about it for a second, and still felt strange. "I wasn't really born a filly or a colt... or anything, I think, I was just born me. And I wouldn't really have it any other way. Sure, I mean, maybe I'd like shorter hair or somethin', or a uh," he struggled to find the words in his young foal vocabulary, "maybe if my nose was a little more colt-ish I'd be happy. But I think I'm pretty happy with me now. I do hope when I'm older my voice is a little better, though. I can't really do much though," he sighed dismissively. He continued, "I don't ever really feel too bad about who I am... I think I just feel happy about who I am. When I see myself as not a colt and not a filly, just a foal, a pony, it makes me real happy-like. But, I don't get too sad unless people are real serious about calling me a filly. I do get sad sometimes though, when I look too much like a filly to other people..." As Applejack placed an orchard blossom in Big Mac's hair, tucked snug and safe behind her ear, a thought went through Big Mac's head. "Applejack!" she jumped up, the rush of movement startling him, who was so concentrated seconds prior. "Let's give you a haircut! It'll be like how you braided my hair for me, we can cut yours!" Applejack nervously rubbed his elbow, then raising his hoof lightly beneath his muzzle, and he began to sweat. "Well, I, what if Ma and Pa don't like it?" Big Mac thought hard as Applejack grimaced, "Well, we can hide it with one of Pa's hats, an' I'm sure they won't mind," she suggested happily. Applejack considered briefly, just for a moment, the downsides of it all. He then immediately turned them all away and smiled so hard his eyes shut, stomping his front hooves against the ground up and down, "Okay, let's do it Big Mac!"
As they galloped back to the barn, Applejack had suddenly realized he was so surprised with how much Big Mac had been talking, she never seemed so excited to talk about anything, and he realized how much this all meant to her. It meant a lot to him, too. Especially that his sister was so supportive while still knowing so little, but in her defense, he didn't know much either. It was a very special feeling, he thought to himself, very pleased. They skidded to a halt clumsily as they reached the doors to the barn. Foal-ishly peeking through the front windows, they realized it was only Granny and baby Bloom home, their parents must be out. They looked at each other, grinning, and cantered to the back, sneaking inside through the back door.
When they made it to the bathroom, Applejack noted Big Mac looked a little worn out, wearing a tired look on her face. She figured all this chattiness probably made her sister a little exhausted. He shot a reassuring patended Sibling glance at her telling her all she needed to know, not needing words. Big Mac let out a gentle smile. She helped her little brother reach the cabinet above the sink, reaching the scissors that were so high up it took them both working together to reach. Applejack had a slight doubt in his mind, his parents probably didn't want him touching the scissors by himself, did they? But he had his big sister with him, and it had to be done! Nopony else would, and only they understood. Applejack balanced shakily with two hooves on Big Mac's back, warily reaching one back hoof up onto the sink, as he balanced with his two front hooves against the edge of the cabinet. He grasped the scissors between his teeth, and brashly jumped down, just barely missing a potential accident, even though they both knew better than to jump around with scissors, they threw caution to the wind regardless.
Applejack happily put his front hooves on the rim of the sink, tapping them and bopping his little head, he looked at his big sister, who began working at his hair. Big Mac chopped with a great lack of care, playfully snipping one strand then the next. Applejack beamed the whole time, simply happy to have it happen, plan or not. Big Mac frequently spun around him, balancing on three hooves and sometimes getting in so close that she held his face with one hoof, his hair with another, and cut with the scissors firm in her mouth. Applejack's body relaxed completely and was kicking and rearing with every cut, wiggling and happily holding his front hooves together and constantly swishing his head from side to side to check how it looked, one side fell to his muzzle, and the other to his chin. He smiled bigger than ever before.
With the final snip, Big Mac dropped the scissors carelessly to the tile below. She gently grasped Applejack's chin and turned her sibling's head forward to face the mirror, and his mouth immediately fell agape, his jaw slack, and his eyes slowly widening with the purest joy there ever was. He cupped his hooves to his mouth, removing them, turning his head to the side, and then fixing himself and putting his hooves to his open mouth once again. He felt a soft tug in his throat and his chest, and he couldn't control the watering in his eyes, "Big Mac!!" his voice cracked. "Yes Applejack?" the filly said apprehensively, fearing that she had done something wrong. "Oh Big Mac, oh my gosh I love it so so much!!" He bucked and whinnied, spinning in circles, his once-flowing tail too short to trip over now, and the euphoria of it all was the most overwhelming emotion little Applejack had ever felt. The tugging became so immense he couldn't ignore it, and he acknowledged it by leaping onto Big Mac with a hearty hug, squeezing her tight as his little arms could, and he rubbed his muzzle into her neck. Big Mac politely pushed her hoof between her neck and AJ's hoof, making sure he didn't squeeze too tight, struggling slightly to breathe. This foal was definitely a strong one. "Thank you so much big sis!!! I feel so great!!" he neighed, stepping back, one hoof raised wiping his immense wave of tears. The feeling of euphoria shot through his body in a rush, showing itself in the form of a tiny but powerful hop, as he lifted his legs into the air and threw them around.
Applejack rushed back to the mirror, urging Big Mac to come look as well, as she didn't quite see herself yet with her hair "done all proper-like." Big Mac's face became pale, as she felt the rush of a thousand different emotions. The paranoia became astounding again, what if she didn't like how she looked as a filly? What if she still didn't feel right? What if it wasn't - Her thoughts were abruptly cut short by Applejack tugging her over, knowing her sister just sometimes needed a push in the right direction. "Lookie Big Mac!!" he placed his arm cheerfully around her, wrapping it over her back. Big Mac's eyes were glued shut, and she only bashfully peeked one eye open because curiosity would've ate her alive otherwise, and deep down she knew she had to see herself eventually. She uncovered her hoof from her eye, and opened both of them slowly. Her mouth opened ever so slightly, and she wasn't even aware she had stopped breathing, her eyes fluttered up and down the braided locks, along with her heart, and her eyes landed on the blossom in her ear. She couldn't speak, her throat clogged up from such elation. She felt the choking once again, but it wasn't like before, this feeling was quite welcoming actually. It rushed from her throat up to her head, and took her breath away. The sobbing ebbed at her cheeks right away, and she turned to look at her brother. As they spoke with lack of words, they stared with inordinate graditude.
As Big Mac smoothly turned back to the mirror, Applejack stomped all his hooves again, one after the other with no apparent order or care, shaking his head in a frenzy as his ears twitched and he smiled a mile wide. He finally felt *pretty.* Big Mac watched herself adoringly, for the first time ever, and felt this acceptance and understanding of herself coursing through her veins with a confidence she'd never had. She blushed, and her ears fell downward, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Applejack," she whispered softly, as if she were too worried the world would hear her secrets. Applejack peered closer with wide, curious eyes, "Yeah Big Mac?" he whispered back. "My name.." she mumbled. Applejack raised his eyebrows, captivated, as Big Mac slowly lifted her hoof to the blossom behind her ear. "Blossom?" Applejack stated inquisitively, before Big Mac could shake her head AJ corrected himself, "Orchard Blossom!" he exlaimed, leaning back and jumping in the air, "Oh big sis, that's so pretty!! I love it so much!!" Orchard Blossom nervously gestured for him to keep it down, as he was prone to being unaware of his volume control. Applejack embarassedly covered his mouth with a shy smile, "Oops, sorry big sis." he cleared his throat, "Orchard Blossom!!" he yell-whispered, the excitement shining through him, he stamped his tiny hooves and clapped them together in celebration. "That's so pretty, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack told her earnestly, loving the new name. "I don't think I want a new name, but I'm really happy ya found one you like!" "Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack repeated, playfully prancing in circles, excited by the sight of his short tail, he spun even faster.
"What's all that commotion in there? Applejack? Big Mac? Are ya in there?" they heard through the shut door, hoofsteps gradually approaching, painstakingly slow but steady. Both of them felt their hearts drop from their chest as they froze, unable to even fathom moving. How would they explain any of this? Applejack hurried to clean up desperately, brushing the hair together with his hooves, coldly sweating from his brow as he frantically hurried to remove any evidence. He stopped mid-sweep to quickly shove his father's hat on his head, which slumped immediately and blocked his vision. "Oh dangit Blossom, Pa's hat's too big! I can't see!!" Orchard Blossom was still unmoving, sheer panic stopping her very breaths. Applejack felt the tugging in his throat rise up again as he began whimpering.
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ysidjoaiagaafhiahd Okay so apparently every Solomon stan is a master chef except me??? I only have extremely basic skills so no way I'll teach him anything lmao
Instead, imagine this: Searching for a receipe that "looks good enough" online or in one of Solomon's hundred years old books, starting to cook together (and by that I mean struggling to follow the instructions while making sure Solomon isn't adding anything that doesn't belong), realizing you've forgotten a major ingredient, going back to the grocery store together while running the entire way (because no way we're teleporting inside the grocery store) but somehow when you get back, the thing you were trying to cook solidified??? So you add water and microwave it - because that's how I resurrected a muffin once - and you just realize Solomon somehow bought a whole-ass watermelon and tries to negotiate with you to add it. When you finally get to the end of the receipe, you both just laugh because it's clearly not perfect but at least it was fun.
That, or you both take actual paying classes together with like 10 random other people. You two wear matching aprons with something silly but cute written on it, because of course you would. And at some point through your cooking class, you ask Solomon : "Did she just say to add sugar before or after mixing the butter?" and Solomon just looks at you like a dear in the headlights and answers "Didn't she say to add vinegar?" so you just look at him in the eyes and say "I love you" before going back to your sugar problem, because that's your husband right here and you love him so, so much.
Hejfkd personally I'm not a master chef I just always assume I can talk him into using a recipe "for my sake" :3 although I do know how to whip up a few "whatever is in the cabinet" meals off the top of my head but thats not the same thing??
But YES what if he brings up this old recipe and you don't even know what half of the ingredients are but you look and up and make a few estimates and it's time to try to make this long forgotten recipe!! Only now you have technology and apparently its a very fussy dish???
Please can you imagine how funny it'd be to see you and Solomon racing out of the grocery store, one with a bundle of green onions and the other with a while watermelon just desperately trying to get back? I don't think I could hold in my laughter ngl
That cooking class is so cute 🥺🥺 I think my personal urge to teach him how to cook myself is I think the mentor/mentee dynamic is sexy i have a strong urge to just CARE for people and teach them the things they need to know just gently....but its very cute!! Especially bc Solomon is not used to being the one who doesn't know in a situation. So when he's unsure if you reassure him with your love he is going to be SO eager to learn god im going to CRY
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HELPLESS | SUGAWARA
request: aaa for the character and song suga and helpless from hamilton please-? also I HIT THE UNFOLLOW BUTTON INSTEAD OF ASK IM SORRY HHHH I LOVE YOUR WORK
you have me in my hamilton feels now, good job. AND OMG IT’S OKAY LMAO tysm for the support omg ur so cute and sweet, ilysm wtf :( ♡ making me cry
“What do you think of him?”
You stopped dribbling the basketball and turned to face Kiyoko—her hair tied up into a ponytail, the school gym uniform on—confused.
You didn’t get what she meant (or rather you did, but...). “What?”
“What?” Her face was set dead serious.
You scowled. “What do you mean what? You’re the one who asked the question.”
There was a stare-off between you two before giggles erupted out of her and she hid them behind her hand, eyes squeezing closed. You huffed and turned your attention back to rolling the ball between your two palms, feeling the ridges of its outline. She was laughing at your expense but you couldn’t fault her because you had done the same to her countless times. You also knew that she was onto you, no matter how well you tried to hide it.
“You know who I mean.”
“No I don’t.”
“Suga.”
Your jaw clenched at the words, trying to maintain a hard exterior, but on the inside your heart was beating rapidly at the mere mention of his name. “I don’t know.”
Heads over heels in love is what you wanted to say.
Wanting the conversation to end, you readied the basketball in your hands, bent your knees and jumped a little to shoot for the net high up by the backboard.
Miss. The ball bounced on the rim and came to roll right by your feet. You planted one foot on top of it to stop the momentum and out of the corner of your eye saw Kiyoko looking at you. “I never said I was good.”
She was back to smiling and you knew you could never be mad at her. “You know that’s not what I’m thinking about.” You wished she was just talking about your sucky basketball skills and not the boy of your infatuations.
The coach’s whistle rang out through the area—gym class was over. You scoped up the ball from below your feet and followed behind Kiyoko to the exit of the gym to the connected locker room, eyes roaming over the space as you watched the other students abandon the activities they’d been doing as well.
“Whatever.”
“You forgot this.”
You jolted, accidentally kicking your desk and causing it to move with a screech that echoed through the classroom. Eyes wide, you turned to see who had snuck up on you. Brown eyes were the first thing you were drawn to, then the shock of silver hair, and finally the worried expression and the badly concealed smile that was slowly overtaking it.
“Did I startle you?” A small laugh spilled out of him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, it’s just— that was cute.” You could tell he wasn’t sorry.
You tried to ignore the burn of his words in your chest and the flips your stomach was doing. “What are you even doing here?”
“Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck and that’s when you noticed two brown paper bags clutched in his hand. “You forgot your lunch in my class when you came to see Daichi this morning. Thought you might be looking for it.”
The lunch period had only just started, so you didn’t even have time to miss your lunch before Suga had brought it. He must’ve rushed over here to give it to you as soon as class was dismissed, although you chose not to point that out.
“Can I sit here?” He was pointing to the empty chair next to you where Kiyoko had just been sitting. Wait—where was Kiyoko? Knowing her she must’ve ran off as soon as she saw him coming in order to give you guys some “alone time.” You cursed her in your mind, although the reminder of his question and the way his gaze was so fully focused on you made you forgive her instantly.
You looked again at the two bags he held, recognizing yours where you’d scribbled your name on the front this morning, and understanding at once that the other was his—he’d planned this.
You smiled. “I’d like that.”
Time: 1:35 A.M.
From Suga: Are you up?
From (Y/N): No.
From Suga: Haha, very funny. Anyway look outside your window.
From (Y/N): So it was YOU who kept throwing rocks at it when I was trying to sleep. I can’t believe this.
From Suga: I confess to nothing. Now are you coming or not? These meat buns are going to get cold so maybe I should just eat them all myself—
From (Y/N): CLIMBING OUT THE WINDOW RN
“Where’d you get that?” Kiyoko thumbed the smooth pendent that hung from a silver chain around your neck. Your last initial and “S” were carved into it. It was painfully obvious what it stood for.
“Nowhere.” You didn’t look her in the eye, but she understood.
“When?”
“Saturday.”
Her lips curled up into a smile and you were thoroughly embarrassed. “I’m expecting to hear the whole story later.” How had you gotten so lucky to be best friends with someone who was willing to listen to your constant lovesick rants?
“And then he—”
You heard her out of breath, laughing on the other end of the phone. “Okay, okay, I get it,” she managed out, “he’s perfect and charming and—”
“No, no, he’s so much more than that, you see.” You were giddy with excitement, rolling around on your bed as you squealed over the phone with her, the grin stretching across your face starting to hurt your cheekbones, although you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
There was a hum of contemplation on the other side. “You know, I don’t think I quite see. Why don’t you explain it more to me?” Her teasing tone was like music to your ears and was one of the last things she managed to get in before you launched into another night-long tangent about him.
“You think this’ll work?”
“Of course it’ll work, this is what they do in movies all the time.”
Suga narrowed his eyes. “I’m serious, Daichi, I don’t want to mess this up.”
Daichi sighed, crossing his arms. “How many times have we had this conversation already?”
“Five times,” Asahi provided helpfully from next to him.
“Thank you, Asahi. And how many times have you almost said, ‘I love you,’ Suga?”
Suga looked away, lips pressed into a line. He knew Daichi was right. “More than five times,” he mumbled.
“Exactly. This is getting out of hand.” Noticing Suga’s worried expression though, he clapped a reassuring hand on his back. “You’ve never been worried about things like this before, get it together.” And with that, he turned to go, Asahi falling into step with him. “Go get ‘em, tiger,” Daichi called back, looking like he was enjoying this a little too much.
“We’ll be waiting on the bleachers if you need us,” Asahi reminded him.
And then he was alone.
Suga stared down at the box in his hand. This time it was a bracelet. Funny how you’d gotten matching necklaces on a whim before either of you had made it official—then again, you both knew what it was that you had. There was no one else he’d rather be stuck with at 2 A.M. on top of a hill, watching the quiet pull of the lake below, your words spilling out of you and filling the space and your laughter lighting up the night sky.
You still deserved for him to seal the deal though.
It was strange, but he found himself missing you even though it had only been a day. But right now he was alone and overthinking this whole thing—what if he had misunderstood how you felt?
Wait— no— not alone. The sound of footsteps nearby clued him in on someone’s arrival. You were here. You peeked your head around the corner before he had a chance to prepare himself and he quickly hid the box behind his back out of surprise.
“Suga?”
“You’re here.” He almost face palmed for stating the obvious, but was thankful when you didn’t point it out.
Instead you said, “You look like you saw a ghost.”
More like an angel. The fact that even those few words had his face burning with the desire to be closer to you reminded him how completely at your mercy he was.
Looking at the way your gaze softened and you stepped closer to him, he remembered how you’d done the same thing so many times before and now there was no question in his mind that you felt the same way—from the second you saw each other you were both helpless. Perhaps now it was time to completely surrender control.
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This is going to be a long post of a long story of the very long eden i did not plan on going to today. Today i entered the vault at like 13:41 and told my friend i’d send a heart back once i’m done. I did not send the heart until after 15 o’clock.
I do vault, easy peasy, i sit down instead of just going home and that was the thing that started the butterfly effect.
Cutscene ends, a moth immediately friends me and who am i to deny a little bittle moth some friendship when they offer too? They latch onto my hand and honk. I head to eden, cause is that what they mean?? Do they want that??? I stand behind the barrier with them unsure, head back, they honk and friend another moth and then let go of my hand, offer hand and then drag me into eden. I named that moth preedenmoth
I only had like 110 stars, since i went to eden yesterday, but thats fine, because my moth sitting instincts are in place. I see a moth? Protect the moth. Do not let the moth get krilled.
In the eden social area i quickly change from chibi to tall since i had a feeling it’d be needed and boy, good choice cause this would be a NIGHTMARE if i didn’t do that. I mean this trip wasa nightmare anyways, but it was adorable???? Back to the story!
We open the door, enter, we’re in a lobby full of MOTHS, the leading moth ( preedenmoth) goes up the stairs... and jumps into the rocks, we all get flung with the wind until everything goes white and i’m back... and alone.
I head on thinking to myself “hey since im here might as well get the winged lights!” and when im by the door i see something in the corner of my screen-
IT’S THEM PREEDENMOTH! AND THEY JUMPED OFF THE CLIFF RIGHT BY THE END OF THE FIRST AREA!
So i go after the moth and get them safely this time to the first winged light and we go on and that’s when the real story begins.
another 5 moths appeared with us on the other side, cutscene ensues, i lit two of the moths and they flock to me. I lead them safely, everything good until the tubes and two krills area. I lead my moth and two additional moths and we’re sitting in the safe area waiting for the krill to pass, when two asshats barge in and krill all of us. I have never seen so many stars going FLYING at once! Then i light them by accident. And not asshats krilling on purpose, just moths who are a danger to themselves and everyone around. I lost two moths back then, never seen them even when i went back to find them again. RIP
I get my preedenmoth and the two dangermoths and we go on! Once again everything goes smooth until... The last area before the point of no return. The dangermoths follow me and then preedenmoth looses hold on my hand and gets noticed by the krill also leading it straight into the corridor and like 12 stars go flying and that would be satisfying if I wasn’t trying to lead moths safely.
Then the preedenmoth kept honking until i followed it to the point of no return. At which point i sighed heavily and went in, second day in a row, slightly debating just adding eden to my candle run route. You get a candle in the orbit, right?
the saying "you can't help everyone" was made specifically for me when im in eden full of moths
that point was also when i made a discovery. the moth is so scared they wont go anywhere without holding my hand in the ouchie zone, so i simply held their hand and dragged them around which was cool really, up until the super ouchie zone.
I emoted them to follow me then pointed towards the super ouchie zone and they started walking on their own! They grow up so fast! They were still super scared and as i went into constant rock fall, i caught them trying to hide behind a rock smaller than their height which was adorable and also super sad. And then they died and started following me as a ball of light. And then i died and i was super ready to go on... when we get teleported to one of the earlier moths! Take a shot every time i say moth
They stayed in the first eden area and were hiding behind rocks and scared of going n so we just honked at them either to get them to go faster or to reassure them, can’t speak for preedenmoth lmao, who kept trying to unlock higher friendship levels which was really impressive considering we were dead.
Then they started playing their horn, which :O !!!
that’s when i found out you can play instruments as a spirit when in eden if you stand close to the statues and keep you lit. So i started playing Memory(his theme), then lost woods, then song of storms, waterfall, trying to make them less scared to go on, which was super finicky considering i could only play when close to fire.
Preedenmoth decided to go on without waiting for others and i stayed one on one with the scared moth.
the game gave me the "move on ALONE without others?" and both times i said no cause i just felt bad for this poor poor moth, so i just played since since my moth left they seemed to stand more near the statues.
And, i may not be the brightest person, considering that after around 5 minutes of this, playing on my spirit piano it hit me.
I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! The terrified moth keeps standing near statues cause that's the only time i play so they stand then cause they're less scared this is so sad! Like it actually made me hide my head in hands!! EDEN IS SO TRAGIC TT-TT
To give you an idea how long it took for them to die, it would be me being asked around five times by the game “ DO YOU WANT TO GO ON ALONE “
I waited another 15 minutes for them to come to the orbit, considering it takes a while for new players to figure out what to do with the shiny child and then they were here! I pulled out the table, and tried talking with them... And they were japanese so no talk for me but we added each other! And now i have a moth named Scared Lost wood friend. We leave the orbit together after one last play of waterfall...
And i open the friend tab and send my friend the heart back. At 15:02.
every time i go to eden with moths i have a new story to tell.
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Reticence (soft! Yandere Hoseok)
Summary: You were always terrified of getting kidnapped when you were younger, and now that you’ve been taken by a man who claims to want to take care of you, you recede within yourself so far you refuse to even eat... but Hoseok is determined to let nothing hurt you, not even yourself.
Warnings: Kidnapping, kind of Stockholm syndrome, mentions of not eating so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff pls be careful <3 Yandere behaviour, though I am kind of romanticising it in this fic, please remember that that is all it is: Fiction. Obviously in real life this behaviour would be unacceptable and horrifying.
Word Count: 2.2K
Masterlist :)
a/n: my first hobi fic!!! this is for @kpopgirlbtssvt from a request made about a billion years ago (sorry :/ ) for made-for-each-other verse! Yandere Hobi with a shy reader who wouldn’t talk even though he begged her to, and then him coming home from work to her telling him she missed him and was glad he was home. this was a lil less fluffy and a lil more angsty than i intended, but its still a ‘happy ending’ bc im a weak bitch with simple pleasures, what can i say lmao
Reticence
“What do you want for breakfast, sunshine?”
Silence.
Hoseok sighed, then straightened up again, walking over to the refrigerator. You remained sat by the kitchen island, empty gaze fixed on the marble countertop.
“Omelettes it is, then!” He exclaimed with artificial excitement, trying to be cheery in the face of your taciturnity, but even the sunshiney optimist that was Hoseok was finding it more difficult than he expected. He had hoped that by now you would’ve accepted him, but you remained as quiet and unresponsive as the day he brought you home. Not that you thought of it as ‘home’ yet, but he hoped you would eventually. Hoseok was not a patient man, but he was willing to wait forever for you.
You didn’t even blink when he set the plate down in front of you. It didn’t seem like you were going to attempt to eat it either. Hoseok sighed. He could understand if you didn’t want to talk to him yet — even though it had been months and he’d been nothing but kind to you — but he drew the line at refusing to eat.
You had lost weight. The cute cheeks he loved to watch bunch up as you smiled were now sunken. Your beautiful figure which he had admired from afar was starting to become worryingly waif-like. Hoseok frowned, a crinkle between his brows forming for the first time as his usually exuberant features warped with agitation.
“Listen, Y/n-” Hoseok sat down at the kitchen island across from you, bracing his forearms against the table and leaning forwards. “You have to eat. I promise there’s nothing in it that could hurt you. Look, I’ll even eat it myself!” Hoseok carved out a small piece of the omelette and popped it in his mouth, exaggerating his chewing and swallowing. “See?” You offered no reaction, and Hoseok felt his disappointment join the omelette on its way down to his stomach.
“I can understand that you maybe aren’t so happy with me right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself. Just, please, please stop shutting me out.” His pleading tone did nothing to move you. You just sat there like a ghost, and a groan of frustration slipped out of Hoseok.
“Please! I’m begging you! Just eat! I don’t understand, all I want to do is take care of you! All I want to do is love you, why won’t you accept me? Why won’t you even talk to me?”
The only sound was Hoseok’s harsh breaths after his outburst. If he couldn’t see the slow rise and fall of your chest, Hoseok would think you weren’t alive at all. He slumped in his seat, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a moment, before forcing himself to get up and ready for work. When he passed through the kitchen again on his way out the door you were still sitting there, staring at the countertop.
The front door banged shut, the sound echoing in the apartment. Then, silence. And then, very quietly, the noises of cutlery moving against a plate and chewing.
~~~~~~
“I don’t know what to do~” Hoseok whined, his head buried in his hands. Around him, his shocked friends were gathered in an informal circle. Each of them had an expression with varying degrees of surprise and confusion — they had never seen Hoseok, the literal personification of sunshine, so dismayed.
“It’ll be ok, Hoseok. I know it’s bad at the moment, but you just have to wait until she trusts you. Once you achieve her trust, you’ll both be the happiest you’ve ever been.” Taehyung reassured him. Taehyung was obviously the source of authority, since him and his wife were basically the perfect couple.
“But what if she never trusts me?” Hoseok fretted, before groaning again. “She won’t even eat! I don’t know what to do, I’m just watching her slowly starve in front of me and she won’t even look at me!” The rest of the group paused as they digested this new information. It seemed this girl was particularly stubborn.
“Force feed her then.” Jin shrugged and Hoseok’s head shot up in outrage.
“No! I could never hurt her like that!”
“You’re hurting her by letting her starve.” Jeongguk pointed out, and Namjoon smacked the back of his head, chastising. Meanwhile, Hoseok looked like he was about to cry.
“Listen, Hoseok, are you sure this girl is the one?” Jimin questioned, bracing his clasped hands on his knees.
“I know she is.” Hoseok replied with a conviction he rarely used. “The second she came into my life, it was like I was born again and she was the first thing I saw. The only thing I could see. Her face- God, it just… glows. She’s like sunshine. She’s an angel. She’s so beautiful and kind and fragile and I want to protect her from everything, and I don’t deserve her but no one else does either and I know we’re meant to be together. If I thought I could’ve let her go, I would have. But I can’t. I have to have her, she has to be mine.”
The circle of men was quiet for a second, before a quiet chuckle broke the silence.
“Well then,” Yoongi rasped, “if she’s all that you say she is-”
“She is.” Hoseok interjected fiercely.
“Then all you can do is have a little patience.”
~~~~~~~~~~
It was incredibly boring being kidnapped. Especially when your kidnapper did nothing interesting except make bad food and dance along to music from the TV surprisingly well and cry sometimes when you wouldn’t look at him. Frankly, it would have been easier if he were more of the torturey-type, because it was really hard to stay stubborn in the face of his sparkling eyes and radiant smile.
When you were younger, there was a poster up on the wall of your homeroom at school. On it was an old man with an ugly sneer and a beige trench-coat, with the slogan ‘DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS’ superimposed in glaring red letters. You used to stare up at the poster and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to talk to someone who looked like that.
You were never afraid to yell ‘STRANGER DANGER’ at the highest decibel your little lungs could manage whenever a person brushed too close to you in the mall. It was almost a habit — you were avidly fixated on your own personal safety, much to your mother’s chagrin and public embarrassment. Being banned from all the surrounding stores within a 20 mile radius had two consequences:
You had to drive forty minutes for a new pair of socks.
You stayed at home a lot more than you went out.
You became a homebody, and it was certainly not something you were unhappy about. Staying safe in your room meant there was less risk for someone to kidnap you. The comforting layer of your blanket was a shield from everything bad in the world. When your parents were arguing constantly, screaming at each other every other night, you would just tuck yourself in and read a bedtime story on your own since they were both occupied. When your parents eventually divorced, you buried yourself under your duvet rather than answer their questions about who you wanted to stay with, and what your preference was. When your mom died in a car crash, and your dad started drinking, your mattress was the shoulder you could cry on, your blanket was a warm arm holding you close. You had always felt safe in your bed. Perhaps that was why you were having such an averse reaction to being taken from it.
Hoseok was not a man with an ugly sneer and a trench coat. He had an impeccable sense of style, and his smile was breathtaking on the few occasions that it appeared. You more often saw his face twisted into a pained grimace. For a kidnapper, he was awfully sensitive. You were pretty sure it was reasonable for you to be holding grudge, and it’s not as if you were actively fighting against him or anything. You were just refusing to acknowledge him. You were highly skilled at repressing things, or ignoring them, and you were resolved to do the same now.
By 7 o’ clock, your resolve was slightly eroded. Hoseok always arrived back at half-past 5 on the dot. He was a very punctual person, and you felt an unwelcome sense of worry curl along the edges of your mind as the clock counted away the seconds of him not being there. You remembered feeling the same way when you waited for your mom to pick you up from your dads, watching the clock hand sweep past the numbers, increasingly taunting. Of course, you hadn’t realised that she was at the time caught in between a lorry with a drunk driver and a very steep incline. You wondered if you were being similarly clueless now.
When the door clicked open at quarter to 9, you had to restrain yourself from exhaling in relief. Hoseok came in looking slightly disheveled, his collar undone and his hair mussed as if he had ran his hands through it over and over again. He gave you a quick once over to see if you were alright, shot you a small, forced smile and then went straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
That was odd. He never closed the door to his bedroom. He had always left it open in case you needed anything, despite your refusal to acknowledge him. First, his late arrival and now yet another uncommon action? You felt curiosity bubble within you. That was it. Curiosity. It’s not that you were at all worried about him, you were just being nosy. Of course.
You tiptoed towards the door, tracing a finger around the door frame lightly. What if he didn’t even come out again for dinner? You doubted he had dined out without you, he had been eating his meals sitting across from you while you refused to touch yours since the day he stole you. You really should check on him, if only for the fact that if he dies then you’re trapped here with a high chance of starvation.
Before you could convince yourself not to, you opened the door and stepped inside. The only light-source came from the moonlight filtering through the window, casting Hoseok’s form lying on the bed in a deep blue. His eyes, which you assumed had been closed previously, shot open to observe you as he propped himself up on the backs of his forearms.
“Y/n.” He rasped, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. “D-do you need anything?” His tone was both excited and confused, probably because you had literally never directly interacted with him before.
You didn’t speak, and for the first time your silence was due to speechlessness, rather than a conscious desire.
“I-I, uh,” You stuttered, and Hoseok sat up ramrod straight, hearing your voice for the first time. “You… were late home.”
Hoseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. Your voice was so soft and pretty, fuck, and you were actually looking at him, you were actually talking to him, holy shit- and you called the apartment home. You said he was late ‘home’. Hoseok somehow managed to keep his shit together.
“I was?”
“Yes.” You confirmed with a small nod of your head. Fuck, you were so cute. “You normally come back at half five. It’s almost nine now.”
“I’m sorry. I was working late.” He was staying at the office because he felt guilty for not taking proper care of you and wanted to avoid seeing the proof of your unhappiness, but you didn’t need to know that.
“It’s ok.”
You remained standing at the foot of the bed, locked in his gaze. The bed looked so comfortable, moulding to support his body, and his warm body was exactly the comforting presence you were searching for all those years ago and you found yourself asking,
“Can I sleep in the bed with you?”
It was a quiet, timid suggestion but Hoseok reacted to it like a bombshell. His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and his entire body tensed. You were about to rescind your offer when he reached out a tugged a corner of the blanket down, welcoming you into the warmth.
You awkwardly sat on the edge of the mattress, nudging off your house slippers with your toes before slipping under the covers. The relief was instantaneous, shrouded in comforting and familiar warmth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from plastering yourself against his side, arm reaching out tentatively to rest on his chest. You felt his muscles jump under your touch, before his arm slid under you and tucked around your shoulders, drawing you into him closer. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet little sigh, and you let yourself say the words you wish you could’ve said all those years ago when your mother never returned.
“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.”
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heyy Megan!! , I read a few anidala relationship analysis posts on my timeline and it really got my wheels turning. The more I read about them the more I feel as if they really rushed into establishing their relationship & from their character/personality stand point I feel as if they weren't compatible from the get go. I may be wrong but don't really think they loved each other, i think Anakin just idolized her and she saw something more in Anakin that there was idk if this is making any sense
hello!! and yes that all makes sense!! i’m gonna add my thoughts and i am going to preface this by saying that i don’t want people to yell at me because it seems like i might have an unpopular opinion lmao
i personally really like anidala and i think that a lot of their flaws isn’t to the fault of their characters. i shall explain :)
in my opinion, the prequels, which i absolutely adore if that’s not painfully obvious, could have been improved timing wise. espeically the first two movies. so i think that a lot of the rushing felt in AOTC is due to this.
i know a lot of people are confused when it comes to their compatibility and honestly i get that. here’s padme, this amazing, intelligent, well-regarded, former queen and current senate member. and then there’s anakin, reckless, occassionally immature, young jedi. on paper, it feels out of left field.
and anakin did idolize her, espeically in the beginning. i’m not going to deny that. but i don’t hold that against them, either. listen, it’s normal for people to romanticize the person they’ve fallen for. especially when anakin fell so young. speaking from experience, especially when i was younger (i mean i’m still young but-), i had a tendency to latch on when i felt romantic feelings for someone.
but anakin grew throughout the prequels! he had a lot of development and i think this was mirrored in his relationship. you can see in ROTS how he acts when he finds out padme is pregnant. instead of freaking out or wanting to run (as escapist tendencies are major signs of immaturity), he reassures her. he stays and he says that he’s happy and they’ll figure it out, together. so, yes, while the idolization happened at first, i think he outgrew it, at least outgrew it to the point where it would be like toxic and weird. because when you love someone, they’re gonna seem perfect, at least to some extent. it’s just how that shit works.
and in AOTC, their romance felt juvenile at times. it was flirty, awkward, young. but padme was reckless at times, too. remember, she was the one who wanted to go to geonosis. it’s in moments like these that i remind myself that, yes, she was a bit older than anakin and definitely more mature, but she wasn’t this poised, perfect woman that people try to paint her as. further, she, herself, was also young! this was her first major love and she was trying to navigate those emotions, too. and while senators are allowed to be in relationships, they’re not allowed to do so with jedi. as much as anakin struggled with the secret relationship and not being able to talk to anyone for advice in it, padme did, too. i think she and anakin were more alike than people assume.
another reason i like anidala was because they had to put a lot of effort into their relationship. because it was secret and because they don’t initally seem like soulmate material, it wasn’t laid out for them. they had to fight, and they did. so i like them for that reason and i think it shows their committment to each other. they chose each other, repeatedly. that relationship wasn’t one they could have just stayed in because it was easier than breaking up. splitting apart would have been the path of least resistance but they fought for it because they loved each other. or, at least, that feels like love to me.
perhaps they were both a bit blinded. but i think they were happy. and i’m a bit biased, i’ll admit; i love anakin with my entire heart and you can tell that he was happy with padme. because of this, i always rooted for them. i didn’t want to watch his heart break.
and i saw a bit of myself in padme. she was strong, she was kind, she was good. and she couldn’t control who she fell for, just like anakin couldn’t control his emotions. she might have seen someone who allowed her to let go, to be a bit reckless, herself, and who wouldn’t judge her if she wasn’t a perfect, mature senator all the time. maybe their inbalance allowed them to balance each other.
again, these are just my thoughts. i just personally do like anidala and i tend to give them some slack. but maybe im just projecting because im a romantic at heart and cry when i listen to “across the stars”. or because i watch the prequels and, everytime, hope beyond hope that things work out differently and they get their happy ending. because they did want that happy ending. and they wanted it together, as a family.
yeah <3
also i’ve been in school all day so i haven’t seen all the discourse but i scrolled through a bit and yeah i am aware that i’m probably the one with the unpopular opinion. and this is an opinion. if y’all don’t like anidala, that is 100% cool and okay with me, you are fully entitled to your opinion! if you don’t really care, also totally valid, you don’t need to have a strong viewpoint on everything! if you love them, awesome! as long as people don’t invalidate me or act like assholes, i reiterate that i am open to any and all perspectives.
ok i wrote this on my break in 15 min so if it makes no sense, whoops! also ik they have flaws, i just saw a lot of people pointing those out so i decided to say why i liked them, bc, personally, i do! on that note i gotta go back to class!! see y’all later today <3
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hihi!! is it ok if i request group 4 helping their friend with tics? they come with my adhd and i have either happy tics (happy stims is what i call them) which happen when im excited or i enjoy something, or negative tics when im overstimulated/overwhelmed by something. this morning at 3 am i had a really bad attack because my body was shaking but i couldnt move to release tension. i also learned that my most common negative tic is me hitting myself which always hurts sm i need comfort man :')
Aww, sweetie, I’m so sorry to hear that :( I hope this helps you feel a little better 💜
Group 4 helping their friend with tics
Karma Akabane
This boy loves to tease his friends, but he absolutely will never make jokes when it comes to this
In fact, in the beginning, it’s almost like he doesn’t even notice at all. But he does, he just does a lot of research on his own. He makes sure to learn the best ways he can support his friend.
If anyone dares to make fun of you or bully you, they’re dead. Just a goner. Karma will either beat them up, make their life hell, or make them somehow disappear from your life.
He keeps an eye on you if you guys are somewhere stressful/overstimulating, and he does his best to protect you. He’ll immediately try to lead you out of there into somewhere more calm, and he’ll act as your personal bodyguard and make sure people aren’t crowding you.
He’s not the most comforting person, but he definitely tries hard to reassure you. He’ll start talking about random stuff to get your mind off it, offer to get you your favorite food, etc.
Tomohito Sugino
This sunshine boy cares about you so so so much
Like he will go completely out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable to be yourself
Sometimes when you’re having happy stims during your conversations with him, he just looks at you with a smile because he loves seeing you being excited and happy
He keeps a gentle arm on you whenever you guys are somewhere stressful, like around your shoulder or something. He tries to shield you as best as he can
If anyone is giving weird looks to you guys, Sugino absolutely won’t tolerate it. He’ll tell them to mind their business and if they don’t, he’ll square up.
He gets so sad if you accidentally hurt yourself :( Like in general, you being stressed or overwhelmed upsets him greatly and he wishes he could take away bad stuff and protect you better
He always asks you and communicates openly about what’s the best way he can support you without going over boundaries or anything.
He just adores you tons and will always be there for you uwu
Nagisa Shiota
This soft boy is so supportive and sweet towards you
He absolutely is super mindful right from the beginning of your friendship
Even if he doesn’t know too much about tics, he does a ton of research and asks you (respectfully) about it
Whenever you get really excited, he laughs a little at how cute you are and gives you the fondest looks
So he’s not the most efficient shield in crowded situations, but he tries his best by holding your hand, staying close to you, and whispering reassurances in your ear
He won’t leave your side until he’s sure that you’re okay
Like Sugino, he will always openly ask about how you’re feeling and what you need from him
He hates whenever you get hurt or upset. It breaks his heart, and he feels so helpless sometimes. He just really wants to protect you from everything.
He gives you the sweetest, most loving hugs whenever you’re in need of comfort from him.
Kaede Kayano
Oh, this girl will basically be your personal bodyguard, sister, and bestie all in one package.
She’s super sweet and understanding right from the start, and over time, she gets so used to your happy stims, that she barely notices them.
That’s a testament to how close you guys are and how often you hang out uwu
She thinks you’re the most adorable bean ever, and she always showers you with adoration and cuddles
Whenever you’re stressed and begin having negative tics, she will get you out there ASAP. Even if she has to barrel through a hundred people to do so. You’re a top priority.
She’s very protective of you, and she’ll hold your hand, give you verbal support, try to take your mind off it, etc.
She treats you to food afterwards to try and cheer you up. She’ll get anything that you like, but pudding is usually her first suggestion.
Yukiko Kanzaki
Ohhh your friendship always looks like an odd one to others outside of it.
Like you’re a happy, sweet person...and Kanzaki is an introverted, reserved, gloomy nerd lmao.
You guys are so tight though, and have a really sweet bond even though you’re such opposites.
She always laughs and smiles when seeing you excited, it makes her happy in return
She already knew what tics were before you met, but she definitely still does her best to learn what works best for you, and what she can do to support you.
In moments when you’re overwhelmed, she holds onto you or gently touches while saying “It’s okay, I’m here.” She stays by your side even when you start to calm down.
If she can, and it’s in her power, she’ll try to remove whatever makes you stressed. Like class debates? She’ll request that it becomes optional. Crowded stations? She’ll give you a personal ride home in her car, or walk with you.
Playing video games together cheers you up a bit, and Kanzaki is more than willing to play whenever, as long as it helps you.
Manami Okuda
Ahhh such a cute friendship you two have. Two sweet beans!
Once you both get pretty comfortable around each other, she likes to cling to you often.
You both just make each other feel stable and comfortable uwu
She can be a pretty excited girl sometimes herself, so she doesn’t even question your happy stims at all. Not until you actually mention it to her haha
She’s 100% supportive and reads like 30 articles in one night about them
The first time you have your negative tics around her, it’s when you’re having a sleepover and you wake up late, really overwhelmed. She wakes up groggily and sees you. She panics but remembers what she read and helps you to the best of her ability
When you’re feeling better, she hugs you and tries to comfort you since neither of you feel like going back to sleep. You guys just end up in her living room, watching animated movies with ice cream until early morning.
It was a stressful experience, but it brought you closer and was sweet in the end.
Please let me know if I made a mistake anywhere. I read up on things about stimming and tics before I wrote this, but it’s not 100% accurate from my perspective, of course. If I accidentally included anything harmful, I’ll fix it immediately 💜
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okok hi for your matchups- im around 5’4 i have short black hair, blue eyes im a sagittarius and my personality type is infp, i mainly do singing for my hobbies nd i occasionally draw- i tend to be outgoing and outspoken around people i know but super quiet and kept to myself around others i personally find people being rude/disrespectful to be a bigg turn off- and i like people who treat others with respect, nd my love language is mainly touch,,ty for your time <33
i match you up with...
eren jaeger.
i match you up because...
i didn’t have toooo much information to work with so i based this off of your zodiac and personality type mainly! aries and sagittarius are both fire signs and excel in their personalities, aries being passionate and fiery, sagittarius being optimistic, quite funny, spontaneous, etc. they can turn life into a real adventure. two fires signs can uplift each other in multiple ways, especially with someone like eren who is determined, and passionate. of course two fire signs can be trouble together as well since they both have that spark to them but this is where your personality plays in; eren being an esfp and you being an infp, the two of you are almost on opposite ends. while you’re introverted eren is extroverted and can bring out your outgoing side fairly easy and help you ease up. while eren senses you are intuitive which makes up for where he lacks and vice versa. both of you feel and perceive which could be a great argument starter but what relationship doesn’t get into arguments? eren loves physical touch which you can give and he can reciprocate in the best way possible. physical touch is somewhat a way of reassurance too which he needs time to time. he’s respectful to who he needs to be respectful too and wouldn’t have a problem defending you when it comes down to things like that.
he gets into conflict with other people over you a lot; if someone looks at you wrong he’s on there ass😭
he tried to get you to open up to him by force at first, like he would constantly try to get you to talk to him & he just didn’t understand why you were so quiet sksnsj
he loves bringing you around his friends and he brags about you on the low a lot
you guys are that sweet couple that are almost opposites, but this is an opposites attract case almost; kind of like a good girl and a bad boy trope LMAO
he’s actually always the first to apologize to you and something special about your case with him is that he’s susceptible to even apologizing to you even when he’s wrong (which is RARE) because it makes him feel guilty in a way...
for some reason he really like surprising you?? like he’ll take you to new places around the city or bring home random gifts
he kind of babies you in a way? like he lowkey treats you like a baby, i can’t even explain why i headcanon this it just makes sense in my head🧍🏽♀️
your runner up was jean!
i hope you liked your matchup! tell me how i did<3
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Hello! I read through your matchups and I want to say they're rly cute :>> It's so cool about how much effort you put into them so I was wondering if its okay if I could request a Haikyuu matchup? (I hope its okay I submitted it)
My name's Alicia, I'm Bi but I'm more attracted to guys and I'm female(she/her). My sun sign is Gemini and my rising is Aries, INTP, ambivert and a Slytherin.
My personality, positives, negatives and such: Around new people I'd say I'm much calmer, polite and quite closed off. Some of my friends say I come off as a bit aloof to certain people or strangely kind to others. To my surprise I've had some people say I'm intimidating (like bruh why??) In all honesty my personality really differs with who I'm with. When I'm with my friends though I'm much more outgoing and loud, I really enjoy going out with just different small groups of friends even if its just for a small lunch or anything - I just really enjoy being around those who both make me laugh and who I can make laugh. I can be really sarcastic and not afraid to have some playful banter aka: who can have the most creative insults - even if they don't make sense. I'm smart in things I enjoy and can go on and on about things i'm passionate about. I'm always looking out for my friends, making sure they don't stuff up, praising their achievements and putting them before myself. I'm pretty open-minded and flexible, say if one of my friends has a friend I dislike I'll always act nice and rarely complain and I'm good at adapting to different environments. Although I am rarely happy with my looks and I don't like trying new things with a fear of stuffing up or failing ESPECIALLY with team sports bruh. I have a bad habit of staying up until ungodly hours of the morning and not waking up until the afternoon.
Appearance: I'm 5'2/5'3-ish, half Indonesian-half British/White/Whatever, I have shoulder length fluffy/messy dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, i have a beauty spot near my nose on the right side of my face, tan-olive ish skin.
Music taste: I typically listen to pop, indie pop and sometimes alternative rock. My favourite songs though would have to be Left to Right (Marteen), Act my Age (One direction) and Scrawny (Wallows). Two playlist names I have are "Solo survival in minecraft vibes" and "pain" - Theyre weird ik LMAO
In a partner: I look for someone who can take a joke and can handle my sudden chaotic decisions and mood swings. Someone who will communicate like please tell me if im doing something wrong or right for the love of god- It would be great if they didn't mind my random touches or signs of affection and it would be cool if we could play games together :D My love language would have to be touch and words of affirmation if that helps.
Anddd thats it, I'm so so sorry if its too long and please take your time and dont overwhelm youself :(( Thank you for your time and don't forget to drink some water!!
hiii! omg thank you so much! that’s so nice🥺 i ship you withh...bokuto!!
ok this is also kinda a case of opposites attract, or at least at first glance it definitely is. bokuto is so loud and extroverted and outgoing so it’s really appreciated how youre more calm and able to somewhat tame him down a bit. he actually got so interested in you because of that, just like with akaashi he was drawn to the opposite personality to him. hes also gonna try and open you up more instead of being so closed off, like its his own little personal challenge to make you more comfortable with opening up, and once you do he’s vv happy. he loves how kind you are as well because i don’t think this bby could handle someone mean, he just needs love and support and then he’s yours forever. of course he loves playful teasing (he denies that he likes it directed at him but he actually loves it) but he wants your kinda subtle niceness in a partner. the way you put others beofre yourself helps him a lot as well because he needs and wants a lot of care so the fact that you’ll provide that for him is amazing and basically ideal. however he makes SURE you take care of yourself too, like he will not let you forget about your own needs and will make you put yourself first sometimes any way he can. sure it might take him a while to figure out your doing that, but once he does he’s gonna look out for you even closer after that. he loves how open minded you are too because it would be difficult if you weren’t open to the things he likes, like he wouldn’t be able to survive without your support. the positivity you show for the things he’s passionate about just makes him fall in love and adore you a million times more, if that was even possible.
oh my gosh he LOVES how when youre with him your whole personality just switches. no not with everything about you switches but when you become outgoing and loud he just can’t stop swooning because he loves how much laughter and enthusiasm he can hear from you which he doesn’t usually hear. it’s just when you both are loud and outgoing it’s so chaotic for everyone else but for you two it’s just fun and carefree. he’s kinda drawn to your sarcastic side because that’s not really him, and he just thinks it’s so funny when your a little annoyed and end up throwing some sarcastic snapback to someone. like i said before he loves having playful banter with you because it’s really fun, but he denies that he likes it when it’s aimed towards him. however he definitely likes it he just pretends he doesn’t. oh my goodness i can’t even explain how much he adores it when you ramble on and on about something you’re passionate about. seriously like he absolutely loves it. he thinks it’s so adorable how you get so excited and peppy when he brings up a topic you love and you can just talk about it for days on end. especially when he can see that sparkle in your eyes and just the sound of your voice, it just makes him fall in love all over again. also, he would CRUSH any insecurity you ever had, especially if it’s about your looks. he’s ADORES any body type and body size, beaty marks, skin color, hair type, height, body proportions, anything about you he will completely love. he will support and compliment you to no end to make you see how perfect you are, he will make sure you know your beauty.
i feel like bokuto really fits the description of what you like as well. he LOVES to make you laugh and is always throwing jokes around and he’s a very goofy and laughy guy, so he will laugh at your jokes all the time. he values communication as well because he doesn’t really understand when people give him subtle signs or hints, like he just won’t figure it out unless you tell him upright. so he’ll do the same to you naturally because he just assumes that you value that as well. he’s very spontaneous and just kinda goes with the flow of everything so sudden chaotic decisions wouldnt bother him a bit, actually he lives for them. he also has mood swings as well so he would totally understand what your going through when you have one and you both would know how to help eachother. bokuto might get a little offended if you playfully insult things like how he’s doing in your relationship, his playing skills, or something like that, but once you reassure him that it’s completely a joke he warms up to it. mostly everything else he understands is just teasing and the only reason he ACTS offended is because he wants you to believe he doesn’t like it, but trust me you both are very aware that he in fact loves it since he’s very easy to read. lastly, he loves loves loves random touches of affection, he seriously can get enough affection. please randomly touch him, even if it’s holding pinkies or kissing his cheek for .2 seconds he will s w o o n. here comes blushy and flustered bokuto, have fun :)) 💕
scenarios with the two of you:
•you just waiting for bokuto home and when he does he literally tackles you in a bear hug. he rambles on and on about his day and asks you about yours while also complimenting you somehow and your just sitting there giggling at his normal energized antics. he doesn’t let you leave your spot either so you two just stay there cuddling for the rest of the night.
•it was around midnight and bokuto texted you asking you if you wanted to go on a walk, obviously you were tired and confused but you could just see his pout through the screen so you went. you went on a walk while talking, well mostly him talking, and going to a random destination you didn’t know of and i’m not sure he did either. when you got too tired he carried you too(and don’t worry he’s strong as shit already and thinks it’s super easy to carry you :)) i mean look at those biceps-)
•it was in the middle of summer and you were having a bad day so bokuto took you out to someplace you didn’t know of. it ended up being a field and so you two lyed on the grass while enjoying looking at the stars and the perfect summer night breeze paired with the heat. you were playing music like scrawny by wallows and can i call you tonight by dayglow and both of your were silent, a very rare thing for both of you, especially bokuto. he wasn’t really looking at the stars though, he was looking at you.
i hope you liked this!! i loved writing it and you’re soso nice thank you for worrying about me🥺 have an amazing day and take care of yourself!! <333
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OKAY no one asked and this is long as shit but I have to share my dream because it was SO GOOD and I need you all to suffer with me
So first of all Harry was playing at a university but it was like a small theater, SO of course my ass went, and this has nothing to do with the softness but it was funny because there was like a whole thing where Camille and her friends were gonna go down on the stage and dance with him during Watermelon Sugar just as like a HEY LOOK WE ARE FRIENDS NOW kind of thing I guess fhdjdkdjdhs
Anyway so I went to the show and I found her sitting in the crowd with sunglasses on lol and for some reason I WENT UP TO HER and I was like “omg are you Camille hi” and I started talking to her lmao but she was super nice to me and she was telling me all about her boyfriend but she was like “I mean hopefully this whole show thing goes over well with everyone... like with me going down there to dance and all” and I was like 🥴 but I was trying to be reassuring like “honestly girl yeah make the girlies jealous it’s what you deserve” and she laughed and she was like “you’re RIGHT it is what I deserve!” which like.... Dream Sydney..... girl....... anyway
So at some point during the show my stupid ass went out to go to the bathroom and when I came out of the bathroom Camille had also left for the bathroom, and security wasn’t letting people back in yet because I guess inside the theater they were filming something. Idk it was weird like I guess they could only open and close the doors between songs because they were filming and didn’t want to disrupt? Anyway so Camille and I were sitting and talking outside the doors while we waited and then a huge FIGHT erupted and we were both like oHHHHH BITCH HELLO? And we just watched this fight break out like it was fuckin crazy and someone lit something on fire and the fire alarm went off and we were like well FUCK
So we got separated during the evacuation (this is the end of the Camille portion of my dream lol) and I went into this little room with like church pews and there was only like a handful of people in there so I was like alright I’ll just wait in here. And a few minutes later IN WALKS MR STYLES HIMSELF!! and he’s like “hi, you guys mind if I join you and wait it out in here?” And all of us are like hello NOT AT ALL COME ON IN
SO he comes in and sits in the pew behind me and all of us are like, trying to remain calm and not make it into a big deal. We’re like just talking to him casually like we’re all just friends. And so at one point he’s talking to the guy next to him so I start talking to the girl next to me and I mention like “man I’m so mad I had to miss that last song cause of the fire drill thing!”
And for some reason I had my laptop and she was like “it was being live-streamed, I’m sure you could watch it online!” And I laughed and I was like “I mean that’s kind of an overload... I was actually there watching it with my own eyeballs and now I’m sitting here with Harry literally right behind me and I’m gonna watch a Harry video on my laptop? That’s too much Harry.” And we laughed and then I added “not that my brain isn’t like that 24/7”
And I kinda turned in my seat and I jumped because FUCKIN HARRY HAD MOVED TO SIT RIGHT THE FUCK NEXT TO ME and he was just smiling all smug waiting for me to finish what I was saying ABOUT HIM fl;akdjlk;fjdlkf and I was like “oh my god you scared me” and he laughed and was like “sorry 🙂😋😌”
So he and I started talking and he was like “I mean you can pull it up online if you really want to! You didn’t miss much. I don’t think I sound right tonight anyway... can you tell I have allergies?” And I was like “oh my god what no you don’t sound like you have allergies at all!” And he was all smiley and he was like “what about now?” And made like a gross sniffing noise where you could tell he had a lot of snot.., which dhdjskskshdh why would he do that lmao but I was like “no you still sound fine” and we were cracking up and he did it again and he goes “now?”
Anyway so SOMEHOW we all ended up in a car together because he liked us and was like “you guys wanna just come over and like watch a movie and stuff?” and we were all like HELLO OF COURSE???? SO we’re in this car and I’m sitting in the middle seat and Harry’s on my left and we’re all talking about what movies we like and snacks and stuff like that, and the whole time he’s texting and I’m trying so so hard not to read his texts fjl;dkfldjs BUT HES SO ENGAGED WITH US STILL LIKE WHILE HE’S TEXTING!!! And at some point he said something and I jokingly was like “awwww Harry” and laid my head on his shoulder and HE! LAID! HIS! HEAD! ON! TOP! OF! MINE!!!!!!
AND LIKE you know when you do that with people it usually only lasts a few seconds and then you both move? He did not move like he just kept it there with NO SIGN of moving so in my head I’m like alright I live here now!!!
So he like sighed and was like “I’m trying to get my mom’s login information so we can watch this one movie but she’s like, not making sense....” and the bitch HANDS ME HIS PHONE and is like “Like, read this and tell me if this makes sense to you.” So FIRST OF ALL I accidentally saw some of his other messages and like ALL of his contacts had emojis by their names or like funny nicknames and in my head I’m like ..... do I tell tumblr about the emojis or do I keep this to myself fd;kafdslfj and I ultimately decided to just keep it to myself sorry yall
So I read through his texts with Anne and he was like asking her for her login information for this movie app thing and she sent this long ass message like “Oh my gosh, son you are so blessed, we were watching you on the tv and we could not have been more proud. Linda came over tonight and sends her love! Did you know she’s a Libra also? Anyway, you should watch xyz movie (I don’t remember the title she put) because we watched it the other night and it was good!” And Harry had replied something like “did daddy like the movie as well?” And I guess in my dream Robin was alive and that’s who Harry was referring to 🥺
And I started laughing and he did too and he shook his head and was like “I love her but I just need the login information” And I was like “Libra moms, am I right?” And he was cracking up and he was like “Libra moms.” And his head was STILL ON MINE and he reached over and put his hand on my knee and kinda squeezed a little AND THEN MY FUCKIN ALARM WENT OFFFFFFF IM SO UPSET
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matchup for @ioveworm!𐐪𐑂
“Hi!! my general info is: im 5'8, kinda chubby but not big in the boob area, (sobs), i have semi long curly black hair with brown front strands! i use she/her, im a virgo sun, sag moon, pisces rising! my personality type is intp-t. im pretty snarky without realizing it, also can be too blunt/straight forward around someone im comfortable with! i have a RBF so some people say i look angry/intimidating but in reality its just my social awkwardness which somehow feeds into that + the fact im awful at speaking with strangers, if i don't have to speak to someone i definitely wont so people need to take the first step in taking </3 im a huge empath and can sympathize with a lot of people but aso can hold grudges/ know how to stand my ground if i REAAALLLLY need to even if i am literally shitting myself LOLLL. i also cry very easily during movies, if an animal dies even if its just in the background i WILL break down into tears. im also super self conscious bc of my weight so 9/10 times i will be trying to make myself as unnoticeable as possible. i can be pretty sarcastic and retort back but if something someone says rubs me the wrong way i can tear up and cry easily haha.... i LOVEE dogs!! music/making playlists, horror movies/game play throughs, pubg/gaming, anime and learning abt animals! i can handle people who are quiet/dont talk much pretty well as long as they reassure me that im not being annoying or bothering them!! but if we can both talk about stuff we like together it makes me super happy and i'll always hear them out!! im pretty bubbly around people i'm close with and giggly but if i'm around other random people im still quiet/neutral... I HOPE THIS ISNT TOO MUCH !!!🥺😞”
hi!! and also dont worry about it i love longer descriptions bc it gives me more ideas on what to put in matchups! <33
this honestly took me longer than it should, but it was because i wanted to give myself a challenge and be more diverse with my options!
i really hope you enjoy this 🥺
i match you up with . . .
kenjirō shirabu!! 𐐪𐑂
✰ ok this pairing went through a lot of rollercoasters when meeting, BUT HEAR ME OUT
✰ the sorta tsundere x lovable girlfriend trope in this is 🥺🥺🥺🥺
✰ your first encounter with shirabu would be sorta rocky i’d say. he has this thing where he tries to mask his real feelings with insults because he honestly doesn’t know what the fuck are feelings
✰ i feel like the reason why he fell for for you was mostly because of how everyone perceived you to be this mean and b*tchy person when you’re actually the opposite
✰ one day you just couldn’t handle it anymore and started to release a few tears from each eye
“do you hate me that much?”
✰ honestly this line broke him :((
“you’re not annoying to me kay? it’s just…never mind”
✰ the more you two actually spent time together though, you guys do warm up to each other bit by bit
✰ him asking you out would probably be the most awkward thing ever JBAKHBXKHXB
✰ poor boy is new to all of this mushy feeling stuff
“weprobablymaybelikeeachotheridontknowbutwouldyougooutwithme..?”
✰ you would probably be like: ???
✰ THIS GUY IS TURNING SO RED NOW SEND HELP FOR HIM
✰ i don’t know why but he’ll be the type to just whip out his phone and try to type out what he was trying to say while you’re in front of him
✰ shirabu: go out with me?
✰ the two of you end up becoming a blushing mess together (AWHH)
✰ lemme tell you, once this guy becomes your man, all hard work pays off
✰ this man would take care of you. even though he rarely shows it verbally, he definitely does through acts of services
✰ shirabu understands your self coniousness since he tends to get like that too. to be honest he doesn’t really care about the way you look. he loves you just the way you are and it honestly makes him want to punch whoever made you feel the need to be super conscious about yourself
✰ the amount of cute puppy pictures he spams your phone just to cheer you up (AWHHH)
✰ he knows probably almost everything about you and remembers even the smallest details
✰ like for example he knows that you dye the front strands of your hair brown, so on his own he’ll buy boxes of hair dye for you and leave them in the cabinet
“don’t use too much of it or else i have to get more”
✰ he’s so blunt omg and sometimes it may rub you the wrong way, but shirabu really does try to tone it down for you because he hates it when you cry. especially when he is the cause of it :((
✰ he’ll pull you close and kisses away your tears🥺
✰ dates can include going to dog cafés, the zoo or movie dates at home :D
✰ the first ever time you guys had a movie date this boy really thought of a plan to give you the scare of a lifetime by watching a super scary horror movie. little did he know you LOVED horror, so when he put it on you were unfazed and this dude was so shocked at you
✰ in shirabu’s mind: how the fuck is she not scared right now
✰ his reactions were so priceless and honestly he was kinda pissed you weren’t cuddling up against him right now for protection😭😭
“how are you not afraid of this”
“i don’t know either, i mean this is sooooo scary”
✰ shirabu turned to you immediately with a shocked expression. he learned two things that day, you loved horror movies and can get pretty sarcastic lmao
“thanks a lot for ruining my plans of you jumping into my arms for protectio-”
“what?”
“what?”
✰ shirabu was actually the one who suggested going to a dog café and the zoo afterwards. it really shocked you since he wasn’t really big with animals
✰ in actuality, the setter knew how much you loved animals and wanted to take you on an animal themed date for the day (even though he’ll never say it)
✰ the way your eyes sparkled and become so invested in the creatures honestly makes him so soft. no one makes him so soft like you, you’re one lucky girl🙈
“baby can we please get a dog?”
“no”
“pleeasseee”
“no”
“you can be the big spoon from now on”
“yes”
✰ KJDBXJBSJSJBNJN
✰ NO ONE KNOWS SHIRABU LETS YOU BE THE BIG SPOON AND IF ANYONE DID ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE
✰ light giggles started to leave your mouth due to the fact he gave in so quickly because of that one offer
✰ shirabu soon started to mess up your hair and gave you a small smile🥺🥺
“i’m only agreeing, so you won’t have to have a permenant pout on your face whenever we pass a dog on the street baka”
✰ head pokes are a BIG thing for showing his “affection” for you
✰ making fun of him? head poke
✰ getting frustrated because of an idiotic character in an anime? head poke
✰ whenever shirabu plays a video game with you he’ll show NO mercy and try to beat you and when he does his cocky smirks start to show. he also tries to hold back his tongue to try and not tease you
✰ but when you win, omg he gets so salty. his face most definetely would try not to show it, but inside his head he’s raging SO MUCH
“tch you only won because i let you”
“sure babe, sureeee”
✰ becomes so salty he’ll probably start a pillow fight with you LMAO
✰ this guy definitely loves late night calls with you. he enjoys your soothing voice and would wanna hear you talk 24/7. he gets fairly busy juggling studies and volleyball, so your voice really makes him feel less stressed out🥺 sometimes the call would run on until the next day because you two soon fall asleep on call together haha
✰ i feel like shirabu wouldn’t have a lot of pet names for you, but sometimes he’ll call you “baka” “babe” and “darling”
✰ you being a virgo and him being a taurus you guys are a great match!
✰ both can be quite sincere and devoted to one another. virgos like taurus’s strength and commitment while taurus loves virgo’s quick mind!
✰ shirabu is an ENTJ while you are an INTP which means another great match :)))
✰ ENTJs love INTP’s way of thinking, knowledge and being patient. INTPs love ENTJ’s enthusiasm for knowledge, straightforwardness and being able to take criticism well <33
bonus!
heres an anime relationship type gif that i just think you two would do 🥺
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