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ahundredtimesover · 2 months

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I Want You to Stay (09) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; use of the term slut in a derogatory way, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 18.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii thank you for being patient, and again for all your love and appreciation for this story. 🥰 Updates will continue to take longer as I return to uni. On another note, I hope you enjoy this!

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Seeing you standing in his kitchen donned in that pastel-colored blouse makes Jungkook stop in his tracks; you’re exactly who he needs to wake him up.

It’s been weeks of vacation, which also means weeks without his usual routine. It’s striking how being absorbed in his work has altered him in that sense - he looks for the stress, for the long hours, for the isolation that’s demanded of his job. Perhaps there was just really nothing to look forward to, and work was an excuse for all those things because there wasn’t much else going for him. Ironic, considering everything he can do with what he has, yet nothing seems to be what he’s looking for, even if deep down, he knows what it is.

This is something that Hoseok and A-yeong made him realize during the trip as he watched them gush about the pretty streets and marvel at the fjords and immerse themselves in the view of the northern lights.

His cousin, the President of the company who makes decisive decisions and conducts press conferences and signs off on billion won projects, is the same man who squealed during a husky ride in Finland, laughed his butt off when he slipped on a glacier, and muttered words of love to his wife as they all watched the bright evening sky over the lake in Norway. There was so much passion in him, something A-yeong mirrored, whether it was about work or his relationships or just about everything in life. Hoseok looked forward to that trip, to that time with his wife, to that break, to seeing the scenery and feeling peace.

While Jungkook found himself constantly thinking about the Arts Center and upcoming projects and new design ideas… and the one person who connected him to all those - you. It felt like he was rushing towards something because the achievement was the goal, and while he stopped by the mountains and marveled at the water as he sat on the cliffs, his mind was racing, chasing something that he couldn’t even grasp.

That’s how the past six years have been. Perhaps more, he thinks. Maybe 20. He’s never allowed himself to just be. Quite frankly, he doesn’t know who he is outside of what he does; he doesn’t know much of how he is outside of being an executive and heir, and so during the moments when he isn’t functioning as such, he’s a bit lost, just existing in a place he’s visiting, not knowing how to interact, how to breathe; not knowing how to connect or to be free.

You’re the bright spot amidst it all. With you around, he still seems to be wandering while stuck in a certain spot, but he’s not alone because you’re there. With you around, there’s a sense of calmness somehow, with your smile and your presence warming the coldest parts of him that he’s left untouched and unfeeling for years.

So when he walks towards you, his eyes fully opening now to see you better, he hums in satisfaction.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he says, prompting you to turn around. “It feels like it’s been so long.”

“Really, Mr. Jeon? I thought the three weeks felt fast,” you giggle. “But it’s nice to see you, too. Were you able to rest out there?”

“Somehow,” he replies, taking the glass of water you give him.

“Is that why you passed on your morning workout to sleep in?” You raise an eyebrow, thinking that he’d slept in when you walked into his penthouse earlier without the usual sounds from the gym that you’d gotten used to.

“I was pretty jet lagged,” he groans. “Couldn’t sleep so I did it last night to tire myself out and then I finally fell asleep three hours ago. It’s a miracle I woke up after the tenth snooze of my alarm.”

“Ooh, that is not good, considering all the documents on your desks and messages on your inbox,” you shake your head. “What if I move the team meeting to tomorrow so you don’t push yourself too hard today? You could’ve taken the day off.”

“And have a worse day tomorrow? No thanks,” he chuckles. “I’m fine, but I agree with moving the meeting.”

“Just take it slow,” you advise. “I brought some pastries because I know your fridge and pantry are empty. I’ll get them ready shortly.”

“I’ll wash up then.”

You follow not long after, preparing his outfits for the second half of the week, then setting out the breakfast for both of you. He returns to the kitchen wearing the brown suit you chose for today, looking just as handsome as you remember. You fix his tie like you always do and meet his eyes like it’s reflex, the warmth bubbling within you when he returns your soft smile. You take your seat a chair away, taking your iPad after to start going through updates when he stops you.

“Not yet, please. My mind’s still half asleep.”

“Okay, sir,” you respond. “We can talk about your trip instead. How was it?”

Jungkook finds himself more engaged in telling you about it, not like how he was when his best friends met him for dinner last night and he was too tired to narrate how it went. But you ask with such excitement that he ends up sharing more than what he planned.

He talks about the Vikings museum and historical tours, the bike rides and coastal walks, the calm but lively cities and the breathtaking waterfalls. He even mentions the things he’d only kept to himself - like that one evening when the sky looked like one of Lee Jaemin’s paintings that had him staying at the balcony with a glass of wine while basking in its beauty, and when they were in Hans Christian Andersen’s hometown and he wondered what kind of fairytale character he would be, and that he learned he really enjoys hot springs during the winter. They’re random thoughts that he just ended up saying, somehow feeling natural and comfortable in sharing them with you.

You indulge him, asking more and sharing your thoughts, too. You even throw in the occasional teasing remark and playful laughter. You ask about the scenery, expressing your yearning for the outdoors that you said you never really appreciated before, as the open space always overwhelmed you.

He passes you his iPad where he’s opened the folder of the photos that he took with his camera, a gift from Taehyung who’d said that Jungkook needed to go out more and “feel the sun.” He rarely used it but a Northern Europe trip seemed like the perfect excuse. He’s used to assessing interiors and marveling at structures from afar, but this time he got to appreciate what lies beyond his walls, beyond the little world he’s been burrowing himself in.

“These are stunning, Jungkook,” you gush, dropping the formalities as he shares something that feels so personal. “I didn’t know you had the talent for photography, too.”

“I wouldn’t call it a talent,” he shakes his head. “I took it as an elective during university and it helps with design ideas. I should at least take nice photos if I need inspiration or a basis. I don’t really do it much, though.”

“Did it make you feel good, at least?” You ask, wondering what else gives him satisfaction.

“Somehow. It makes me feel good when I’m looking at the pictures. I’m transported to that day and that place again, like a holder of memories and desire for the good things.”

You go through the photos - dozens of them. He didn’t take too many, just one or two shots of every scenery. Beyond the majestic landscape, there are the everyday scenes - people talking at a cafe, strangers enjoying the park. There’s a couple holding hands, laughing at each other; from the silhouettes, you can tell they’re Hoseok and A-yeong, a moment that Jungkook probably thought too precious to not capture.

Something in you stirs, as the photos elicit a mix of awe and yearning. You look at Jungkook and you think it’s what he felt, too.

There’s a saying you heard about watching what people photograph to learn what they fear losing. With Jungkook, it seems as if these - freedom, tranquility, connection, intimacy - are things he wants; somehow they seem to be what he fears having.

“It’s nice to have a keeper of good memories, isn’t it? Of that reminder that beautiful things exist and that they’re tangible, you know?” You say, returning his gadget.

“It is,” he responds after a beat of silence, seemingly processing your words. “We forget sometimes. Or maybe, we just don’t know what that’s like. In that case it’s like an illusion. But it’s still good to have that, I guess. It’s still something.”

You don’t know what more could be said. It feels too personal or even intimate of a conversation to have with your boss on a Wednesday morning as you eat breakfast in his apartment. So you let it go, smiling as you say you’re glad he got to have some rest.

He says that so does he and then asks about how your holiday was as you both head to the car. You talk about it during the ride, how you spent a week in Wando with your mother’s partner’s family and then drove to Jeonju, how the entirety of your break had you stuffing your face with food and bonding with them, and how they drove you back to Seoul last weekend, thankful that for those two weeks, they had you around.

You don’t tell Jungkook that some days, you’d think of him, wondering how he’s doing. You don’t tell him that you’d seen A-yeong’s posts and that he looked at peace in them, that there was a softness in his eyes that you’ve rarely seen on him. You don’t tell him that despite the vacation that you said you were looking forward to, you were also looking forward to this - having him back, sharing stories, and living in the silence alongside him.

You wonder, as you glance at him looking out the window, if this is what you meant about savoring the moment, enjoying what’s in front of you, and feeling less alone. Because right now, those are exactly what you feel.

Jungkook wanted to wait to get to the office before proceeding to work matters, something that surprises you because he always gets down to business immediately, not unless he’s recovering from a hangover. But he blew you off even in the car, wanting instead to listen to your stories and then doodle on his leather notebook again for the rest of the ride. You end up meeting with him for an hour before he settles in, then he goes to lunch with his father, meets with your team, and then decides to visit the Arts Center mid-afternoon.

Work is back in full-swing just like that, and you pull the energy from within you to manage the crazy week. There are start-of-the-year events to attend and organize, a board report and meeting to prepare for, new projects to initiate, and a major one to monitor.

You’re glad that despite all that, Jungkook allows you to have a four-day off on the succeeding week so you can celebrate your birthday with a road trip down coastal towns with Jimin and Soomin. It’s a silly thing to do in the middle of winter, but they insist that warmth is most satisfying when it’s cold outside, and you don’t disagree. You’ll definitely be sighing in relief when you hold the steaming hot hotteok in between your hands, and it’ll be the best one you’ll have.

It’s Thursday and you’ll be back in a week. You’ve just finished briefing Do-hyun, who’ll be covering for you while you’re away, and you get off your chair to grab tea in the pantry. Jungkook’s voice stops as you, as he stands by his door and asks if you’re already leaving.

“In an hour, Mr. Jeon,” you reply. “Is there anything I can help you with until then?”

“No, nothing,” he says. “I’m actually about to leave for dinner with Taehyung and Seokjin.”

“Oh, alright, sir,” you hum. “Goodbye, then. And I’ll see you next week. Just know that you’re the only one who can disturb me.”

He laughs in response. “Come on, I won’t be badgering you, especially on your birthday. It’s your one week away from me. You have to savor it.”

“So should you,” you counter. “But okay. I will.”

“Good,” he nods. “I’ll just fix up and go ahead then.”

He returns to his room and you’re just the tiniest bit disappointed that he didn’t properly greet you but you suppose that’s good for you. So you go to the pantry and end up chit-chatting with the team, finding yourself smiling when you look up and see Jungkook by the door, who tells everyone not to stay too late before he heads out.

You arrive back at your desk, your heart beating fast at the sight of a small brown bag on your table.

For your trip. Something to help remind you that beautiful things exist and they’re tangible, the note reads. Happy birthday.

Your mind goes to a conversation you had not long ago, about how photos can elicit certain emotions and be a keeper of memories, especially of good ones. You know this is from Jungkook, and you also have an idea of what this might be, which is why you open the package right away.

Still, it catches you by surprise, especially when you find two disposable film cameras inside. They’ll definitely be enough for your upcoming trip and you know the photos will come out amazingly. You’re ecstatic.

Perhaps this is why he wanted to leave before you did - you’d thank him and he’d be terrible at accepting it again, then you’ll call him out for it. Maybe it was good he hadn’t stuck around to see you act this way. At least he didn’t see you with that silly smile on your face.

But Yoongi does as you head down the elevator, smirking at you when he sees the bag you’re holding and the familiar handwriting on the card.

“I’m guessing you’re not fighting it anymore, huh?” He says, teasing yet somehow still comforting.

“I’m trying not to, even if I know I’m being stupid,” you admit. “I can at least have these fleeting moments of joy after I walk away from this.”

“Retain the good memories. That’s one way to let things go,” Yoongi advises, as he exits the carriage on the parking lot floor.

The doors close on your smiling face, and he chuckles to himself at the irony of things. That’s how he learned to let you go, after all.

You return to work the following week with a spring in your step, with Jungkook noticing as you heat up the fried rice that you told him you’d be preparing for breakfast. You hum as you go about in the kitchen, feeling energized after the last few days you’ve had.

It was freezing, but you, Soomin, and Jimin went a little crazy and ran down the beach whenever you drove by one, something you all did as kids living in Busan. The drives from town to town were slow but they had you all singing to your favorite songs, munching on chestnuts and bungeoppang, and stopping over viewing sites for fresh air and photos.

You used Jungkook’s gift a lot, taking pictures of things that elicited strong emotions and good memories - purple and orange skies, snow melting on the pavement, the crashing ocean waves turning white at the tip, an empty playground in the park, Soomin’s infectious laughter, Jimin’s angelic smile.

The cold was an excuse to seek your best friends’ warmth and they took advantage of it. It reminded you of those few years growing up with them before you returned to Daegu for college, something you and Jimin reminisced about, and something that you thanked him for after what seemed like ages. You recalled how he approached you first as the new girl who entered school in the middle of the school year, how he followed you around because you were always alone and was scared of loud noises, and how he’s never left your side since then.

Every night during that trip, he hugged you as you tried to fall asleep, knowing you needed it for the cold you felt inside and out. He was next to you when you talked about Jungkook gifting you the cameras and admitted that it made you feel good, that it made you happy.

“I’m glad he’s showing you kindness,” Jimin had said. “But… just be careful, okay? Your heart is capable of a lot of good things. Pain is the last thing it deserves.”

“I don’t really know what my heart is capable of,” you replied. “My brain does the hurting but my heart… I don’t know what it does. I don’t know how it works.”

It left him speechless then and somehow, you were glad that he just held you tighter, only because it was the only way you wanted to be comforted at that moment. But you also knew that whatever your heart ended up doing or experiencing, Jimin and Soomin would be there to help you make sense of it, to pick up the pieces should they need to.

“It seems as though your birthday rejuvenated you, ___,” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts. “You look much lighter and relaxed.”

“Only because I haven’t checked my emails nor taken new instructions from you,” you laugh as you serve the fried rice in bowls then head towards him. You fix his suit again and speak casually like you’ve gotten used to. “Once I open that iPad and see what I have to deal with, relaxed would be the last thing I’ll be.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles. “Let me savor this then.”

His words catch you off guard and they prompt you to meet his eyes - soft yet piercing, then he turns shy and turns away from you. Perhaps he’s surprised at what he’d said, too.

“Work is stressful and your calmness rubs off on me most times,” he says nonchalantly. “We’ve got a busy few days ahead and I want that calmness to linger.”

“It will,” you assure him. “And yes, I feel rejuvenated, and that’ll probably last me for days so that will linger, even if I’m stressed, so don't worry. You’re gonna do well. I don’t doubt it one bit.”

Jungkook’s meeting the Culture Minister next week to present the Arts Center’s plans and activities leading to its opening to the public, which is why you think he needs that calmness as well. The team has been helping him with the preparations and while you felt bad that you didn’t get to contribute as much, he assured you that all the notes you left him have been instrumental.

But still, his words affect you. Is this calm and relaxed version of you all he wants to savor? Does it mean anything more?

The thoughts wander away as you have breakfast with him, and he asks if you wish to talk about work later on but you insist that you’re mentally ready for it all. He’s the one who gives you updates this time, and just like that, you’re back to your usual routine.

You glance at his plate, all clean right after because even this dish, he savors. And you realize that doing things for him, no matter how simple, makes you happy, too, especially when his lips turn up in a small smile and he nods in satisfaction.

“Good, huh?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“It’s infinitely better than mine,” he hums.

“So, it’s really, really, really good then?”

“You don’t even know how mine tastes like.”

“True. But Taehyung said once that yours was really delicious and I’ll take his word for it. Seokjin agreed and I believe them.”

“Wow, really? That’s a rare moment where they praise me,” Jungkook laughs.

“You should savor that, too.”

“I should. Heavens know the last time that happened. And when it’ll happen again.”

“That’s kind of hard though, isn’t it?” You say, being a bit reflective as you go back to your daily routine after a trip that you wholly enjoyed. “Savoring things… capturing them, appreciating them. Like, you have to be in the moment, you have to be present, and that’s not easy to do.”

“It isn’t,” he responds after a while. “You have to care enough for something to be worth savoring, I guess.”

“Exactly. But how do you do that when everything is temporary - things, feelings… people. Not all of them are meant to stay,” you reply, meeting his eyes as they seem to be in deep thought.

“Maybe they will… if you ask them to,” he softly says.

“That depends.”

“On what?” He asks.

“If they have a reason to,” you shrug.

Your faraway eyes tell him that you’re in deep thought, perhaps processing the exchange that even Jungkook can’t fully wrap his head around. But you turn to him not long after, smiling as you take the plates to clean up, as if you’d just snapped out of a trance, of a moment of honesty.

He watches you from his seat. There’s an aura about you that truly feels more relaxed, yet there seems to be an added layer of pensiveness, of deep thinking that could easily be mistaken for savoring the moment when you might be questioning it, perhaps wondering if it’s real… or worth caring about in the first place.

Even until now, he doesn’t know what it is about you that has him hanging on to every word you say, like it’s some secret message or code to learning who you are and what your fears and pains and hopes and dreams might be.

In the past months, his moments with you have allowed him a peek inside - there’s this yearning for something that you’re not ready for; there’s this knowledge of the fleeting nature of the world that you want to capture as memories because that’s the only way you can make them stay; there’s this desire for companionship that terrifies you more than anything.

But then again, as he sees that soft courage in your eyes, maybe he knows why - he has the same fears as you, and perhaps that’s terrifying, too, as he realizes that much of what he’s scared of is tangible.

He fears the emptiness left in your absence and the silence surrounding him when you’re gone. His trip over the holidays made him think so; this past week when you were away solidified it. There’s a lot of you to miss. He’s unsure how to deal with these thoughts and feelings; he doesn’t know how to move forward and be professional when you affect him this way. All he can hope for is that you’ll always find a reason to stay close to him, that you’ll always find a reason to want him around, and that every moment you share is something worth it enough for you to savor but that you both never have to let go.

You think about the conversation with Jungkook later that night on your way home. There’s something about the impermanence of the world that’s always scared you; things break and wither away all the time and you fear the loss in their absence. Perhaps it’s because you’ve experienced various types of losses throughout your years of living.

You lost that childhood innocence the first time you saw your mother cry, then when her smile that finally returned was wiped off, and then when her hopeful eyes became filled with tears out of fear. You lost that comfort of a routine when you left Seoul at 10 years old, and then that stability when you said goodbye to your life in Busan. You lost that security when you decided to come back here with a dream tucked away, burdened with a debt and a past that you couldn’t escape. You lost that feeling of freedom when your favorite library closed, and then of safety during that night at the restaurant when you were hurt and exposed.

It’s hard to savor things when you know you’ll lose them one day. But that’s also precisely why you should, as what these past months have been showing you, you think now. The absence reminds you that something good was in its place, and that at one point in time, it made you hope that you deserved it, that you were worthy of having it.

But as you lay in bed that night and think of how much of Jungkook you thought about while you were away, you start to think that maybe things aren’t as temporary as you once believed. He was in the icy streets that you walked on and the warmth of the hot chocolate drink you had. He was in the drizzle on the playground that you wiped off and the touch of the leather notebook you saw at one of the shops.

And perhaps that was the difference - you didn’t just stand by; somehow it felt like you connected with them - they were tangible, within your grasp, and that made them linger, that made them feel real. In your mind, that’s where they stayed.

The tail-end of winter marks the time when you’ve settled in the new year. All your backlog from the holidays and your short birthday break have been worked on. Operational plans and goals for the year have been finalized. The Board report and meeting are over and major events have been scheduled. Things are picking up now as the Arts Center is near its completion, with the consequent promotions and marketing on full speed. That last bit has been contracted to a subsidiary company but Jungkook is still on top of most things, which means that so are you.

You accompany him to meetings with different departments regularly, and that’s on top of monitoring the other small projects that the VP office is working on, which is also on top of supporting Jungkook’s executive functions. In a blink of an eye, you’re back to the hustle and bustle nature of your job, and you’re reminded of why it’s been so hard to get out of it, and also why you can’t wait to do so.

There’s just so much going on all at once, and given how you are, you give all of yourself to it because it’s the only way to get things done; it’s the only way to get through it without feeling like you’re taking for granted all that you’ve been given and achieved. But it also means you’ve lost the sense of meaning of most other things, and you wanna be able to do something that means something to you, something of good memories, of beautiful things that are tangible that you can touch and feel.

You let go of the thoughts when Do-hyun and Yohan pop in your area to say goodbye. It’s another long night for everyone and you’re glad that they finally listened to you and decided to go home. You say that you still have a couple of things to work on when they insist that they walk you to the bus stop, telling them once more that you’ll be fine.

“It’s forecasted to rain soon,” Do-hyun informs you.

“I’ll get a cab, don’t worry,” you assure them. “Finance needs these files first thing tomorrow morning and we’ve got that ocular at 8. Thank you though.”

“Fine, but let us know when you’re home, okay?” She says.

“I will. Get home safely, you two.”

You get back to work, and with the peace and quiet in the office with you being the last one here, you manage to finish what you need to in an hour and then finally call it a night. You head out and sigh to yourself once you see the lightning strike, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before the rain will begin to pour. You manage to bring out your umbrella by the time it does, then turn at the corner to look for a cab so you can avoid those who’ll be hailing from the main road.

There are a few people who have the same idea as you, and it’s after some time before you spot one, with the driver slowing down once he sees you. But right as you start speed walking towards it, some man decides to get ahead, running past you and bumping you in the process, causing you to lose your balance. The wet pavement doesn’t help, as you slip on your foot and fall to the ground. You try to get up but jerk in pain when you do, realizing that you’d hurt your ankle, a foreign feeling that has you immediately worrying.

After all the times you’d found yourself under the rain, this is the worst moment of all - you’re hurting, all alone, and completely worn out. You’ve had a really long day and you don’t have the energy for this; all you want is to go home and have some rest. But you know there’s no other way, so you shift on your bum, manage to get up and strain your arms in the process, then you limp to the nearest post you can find using your umbrella as a walking stick then stand on one foot.

The rain has weakened a little, so you’re at least not getting even more wet, but it’s still winter and you’ve started to freeze. There are no other cabs in sight and all ride-hailing apps have been such a pain to book. Knowing that it’ll be tough to get home in any way at this stage and that you won’t be able to manage on your own, you decide to call Mr. Ri. He’s always told you that if you need help for anything, he’s another person that you could call.

It’s half past 8 in the evening. You’re banking on him being on the way home after having dropped Jungkook off at his building after a dinner meeting at 5:30.

“Hey, ___. Is everything alright?” Mr. Ri asks, knowing you rarely call at this hour.

“Not really,” you sigh, the shiver in your voice evident. “Have you dropped Jungkook off?”

“Not yet. But what do you mean, not really? What happened?”

“Are you driving?”

“No. I’m still waiting for him to finish. Tell me, are you in danger?” He presses, and you hear the worry in his voice.

You told him about Chi-won some weeks after it happened, and Mr. Ri, having known you for many years, knows you’re not one to usually reach out. He’s made it a point to check on you regularly, and calls like this would definitely ring some alarm bells.

“I’m not in danger but I hurt myself,” you say, quickly appeasing him that it’s probably just a sprained ankle and not that serious. “I just can’t get any ride and I can barely walk. I was hoping you were on the way home.”

“I’m not but I’ll go get you, okay? I’ll tell Jungkook and we’ll drive to you right away.”

“Mr. Ri, he’s in a meeting!”

“That’s most likely over and now they’re just chatting over drinks,” he reasons. “I’ll get him. You know he’ll want me to.”

“You don’t know that,” you stammer.

“You weren’t there with him the days after what happened that night at the restaurant, ___,” he huffs. “I just knew it was really bad because of how worried he was, and he’s never been that way. So yes, I know he’ll want me to get his ass out of there and be on the way to you. Plus, I’m sure he’ll fire me if I don’t.”

“Fine,” you concede. “Just don’t make it sound so bad because it really isn’t.”

“You know I can’t control how that kid reacts,” he hums. “Just send me your location.”

Mr. Ri heads out of the driver’s lounge and rushes to the restaurant where he manages to send a message to Jungkook that you’re stranded somewhere with possibly a sprained ankle. He says it as it is, knowing that Jungkook won’t need much to decide on ending the meeting and go to you, which he does right away.

“What happened?” He asks the older man as they both walk towards the basement parking.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask any more questions,” Mr. Ri responds. “She’s somewhere near the office. We’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

“Try for 15,” Jungkook instructs.

He calls you right after and he immediately picks up on your chattering teeth.

“Hey, ___. How are you feeling?”

You’re a little surprised when Jungkook calls this soon, and with how you’re trying to move past whatever attraction you have towards the man, this really isn’t helping.

“Just… cold. My umbrella flew away,” you laugh. “The wind’s picked up and I think it’s gonna rain again.”

Just as you say so, it starts, and you pick up on the change in Jungkook’s voice. You’ve since learned that he’s not fond of it, always closing his eyes and trying to tune everything out with even just a drizzle. But he continues talking and asks what happened, trying to keep you company. You narrate the incident and attempt to play it off as something minor, although the longer you stay leaning against the post, the more pain you’re starting to feel.

“We’re five minutes away. We’ll be there soon,” he assures you then drops the call.

Jungkook clenches his fist and closes his eyes as the rain continues to pour. With the sound of the thunder, he jerks in his seat like he always does, but he pushes forward, knowing you need his help. He takes deep breaths just as he’s learned to do, and not long after, Mr. Ri informs him that he sees you just meters away.

The car slows down and Jungkook looks outside the window. He can see you leaning against a pole on one foot, drenched and shivering, your eyes closed as you wait for them to arrive. He meets Mr. Ri’s eyes in the rear view mirror as they halt, and with the rain just barely stopping, the older man nods and exits the car.

Jungkook watches from inside as Mr. Ri runs to you. He sees the smile on your face despite the droplets on the window. The older man takes your bag then helps you walk, leading you to the car where Jungkook manages to push the door open.

You slowly enter with as much energy you can muster, wincing in pain when you have to adjust your foot inside. You sigh in relief as you feel the warmth and dryness of the car, prompting you to apologize for getting it all wet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shakes his head. “We’ll take you to the hospital, okay? And I won’t accept no for an answer.”

You nod in agreement, knowing that much as you’re causing him inconvenience right now, you’re too tired to argue. You lean your head by the window and try to catch your breath.

“Have you had dinner? He asks.

“Not yet. I was supposed to grab it on the way home.”

“We’ll pass by somewhere after the hospital.”

“Okay,” you look at him and smile.

Jungkook isn’t surprised when you don’t counter him. Perhaps it’s the exhaustion, as he sees it in how your smile isn’t as bright as what he’s used to, with it fading as you turn away. You’re still shivering though, despite the car heater being turned up. He doesn’t have a towel to dry you up, though, so he instead removes his coat and instructs you to lean forward so he can place it over your shoulders to warm your back. He takes his puffer jacket from the front seat and puts it over your lap right after, giving you warmth there, too.

“Is that better?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mouth. “Thank you.”

His scent wafts through your senses, allowing you to breathe and feel all of him at once. It’s the closest thing to tangible comfort you’ve gotten from him, and you hate how good it feels.

You’re just about to fall asleep when the car comes to a stop. The rain has subsided and perhaps that’s why soon after, you hear Jungkook open his door and then your door, too. He removes his coat over your back, placing it back inside, then he holds onto your forearms to help you climb out. He takes his jacket and instructs you to wear it, giggling at how you’re being swallowed in it.

“I look ridiculous,” you pout as you sit on the wheelchair that he’s asked the nurse to get.

“Just a little,” he teases.

He walks next to you as you’re wheeled inside the hospital, staying close by when you explain to the ER doctor what happened. She assesses your foot and lower leg, diagnosing you with a sprained ankle like you expected, and proceeds to wrap it in elastic bandage.

She treats the minor scratches on your palms you got from the fall then writes you a prescription for painkillers. Jungkook takes it so he can buy them for you after, then he helps you settle the bill with your insurance.

You’re quite uncomfortable - you’re still a little wet and the bandage feels foreign around your foot. But you’re also feeling a bit shy, now that Jungkook is the one pushing the wheelchair towards the pharmacy nearby. He parks you at the side while he buys the medicine, and as you look on, you can’t help the relief mixed with giddiness that you feel despite the pain that’s close to overtaking you.

He stands by the counter with his white dress shirt slightly untucked and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hands are in his pockets while he waits for the pharmacist to return, and amidst everything that’s going on, you’re still able to admire how overwhelmingly handsome he looks, especially given what he’s doing right now for you. His side view is quite blinding, so you’re slightly embarrassed when he turns around and calls your name again after you missed it the first few times.

“Dazed and tired?” He asks as he walks back to you with a pack of medicines.

“Definitely,” you say, which isn’t a lie; it’s just not the whole truth. “I just want to eat and have a nice bath and then sleep.”

“And you’ll do all that soon,” he assures you. “We’ll pass by whatever’s open on the way to your place. Just make sure you don’t have the hot water on, okay? And then elevate your foot when you sleep.”

“Yes, I heard everything she said,” you playfully roll your eyes.

“Including the full-on rest that’s required of you for the next few days?” He raises an eyebrow. “Because that’s what you’re gonna have. You’re on leave until you’re able to walk properly again, Ms. Cho.”

“So now you’re being formal,” you tease, flashing him a playful smile. “But yes, Mr. Jeon. The instructions are understood.”

“Good,” he laughs softly. “Glad you’re not being stubborn about it.”

“Oh, not with this one, not when I’m this tired and in this much pain.”

His look turns sullen at the admission of what you’re feeling and you wish he didn’t feel this bad. But you can’t deny the way it’s giving you butterflies, prompting you to scold yourself internally because learning how caring he is isn’t exactly what you need to get over a crush. This is definitely the worst part about being injured, you decide.

You make it out of the hospital and he helps you again as you enter the car, sliding in next to you as he ensures that you’re warm.

You pass by a noodle house on the way, and he buys you some more food for the next day despite your insistence that he didn’t have to. But you’re too tired to argue some more, and you doze off a little during the drive to your apartment, with your half-awake self mumbling your apology about taking up his time.

Jungkook playfully shakes his head. Knowing you’re probably shallow sleep-talking, he disregards your words. He just gets glimpses of you, comforted to know that you’re at least getting the most rest you can have, given your current state. The painkillers will kick in soon and that’ll help you sleep better, but right now, he wishes he could do more for you.

In the deepest crevices of his heart, he wants to hold your still shivering hands and maybe hug your trembling body. He wants to stay with you until you’re warm and comfortable in your bed, perhaps assure you in whatever way that you’re not alone, that there’s help whenever you need it. He can’t imagine how it would’ve been like for you being under the rain, cold and hurt with no one around.

On second thought, he can, and that’s the thing about it. Even if you get out of it with just a sprained ankle - considering how much worse it could’ve been - it’s still terrifying being alone and powerless, paralyzed on the spot and not knowing if anyone will show up. He wants nothing more than for you to get over that and be able to move past it because he knows how haunting it could be; he knows how restraining such memories are.

But he also knows that there’s not much he could do - not with the unnamed feelings he can’t express, and not with the line he still believes he shouldn’t cross.

So he settles for glances and soft smiles at your fluttering eyes and slightly parted mouth. You look tired but peaceful; he thinks it’s quite endearing. It also feels intrusive so he looks away, out into the streets that he’s able to somehow see now. He thinks about the timing of it all - your late night and his dinner out, your injury and the bad weather. He’s thankful that the rain subsided and that allowed him to help you as much as he was able to, and that he got to you in the first place.

You arrive at your apartment with you now fully awake, and Jungkook heads to your side right away. Pulling you out of the car requires more strength from him, and despite your terrible condition, the butterflies appear once more when he instructs you to hold onto him for support. You have to act unaffected when you feel his broad shoulders and taut arms, with your hands gingerly laying on them; you wonder if he feels anything, too, under the thin material of his dress shirt.

His left hand only grazes your waist but his hold tightens after you grant him permission, perhaps knowing that it would be harder for you if he holds you that loose, he asked you to put your weight on him after all. Despite your agreement, you still hold in your breath, a silly attempt at slowing down your quickening heartbeat. He’s never been this close, and you’re unsure if you want him to be anywhere else.

You suspend your thoughts for the shortest of seconds until you both manage to get up the few steps to your door. Mr. Ri helps in unlocking it, and you settle on the dining chair that Jungkook pulls out for you after you both enter.

As you release a breath and watch him look around, it’s then you realize that your boss - the Jeon Corporation Vice President who lives in a penthouse in an exclusive district in Seoul - is in your tiny studio apartment that’s literally just the size of his bedroom. You’re not ashamed one bit but you are a little shy, so you jokingly welcome him to your “little mansion.”

“It’s nice,” he hums, looking around some more, which he doesn’t need to move to do.

The small round dining table, the off-the-wall kitchen, and the three-seater couch are all in the open living space. There’s a half-wall that separates your sleeping area, with your double bed against it and the tiniest of balconies just off of it.

You’re quite proud of what you’ve made of the place, with the plants in the corners, some chic art pieces on the walls, and photos with your friends and family on stick-on frames resting on the shelves. It’s cozy and comfortable for you, and you feel quite proud when Jungkook’s lips turn up when you respond that you’re happy here when he asks.

“It’s everything I need,” you hum. “And it’s in a safe part of town. My neighbors are older couples who are all kind.”

“That’s good,” he says, turning to you. “Will they be much help to you while you recover?”

“I’ll be okay,” you insist. “I have a crutch. I’ve got food to heat up, and my place is so small that I don’t have to move around to get things done. I don’t really need help, you know?”

He scrunches his eyebrows, seemingly unconvinced.

“Watch,” you say, your shallow confidence pushing you to grab the crutch next to you then using it to walk towards him so you could prove that you’re capable enough to look after yourself.

But your unfamiliarity with it leads you to mistime your step. Before you know it, you’re tripping on your foot and losing your balance, and as your life is about to flash before your eyes thinking that you’re gonna fall once again and make your injury worse, Jungkook’s reflex kicks in and he steps forward to catch you. You feel his grip on your waist gradually tighten as if to keep you steady, as if to make sure you’re alright. He’s so close, you can feel his breath as he pants, the worried look on his face something you’re familiar with by now. But he stays there, inches away, and so do you.

He’s bending, so he stays leveled with you. You can see his long eyelashes resting on his honeyed skin and the endearing curve of his nose. He looks so soft like this, comfortable even, with his big round eyes looking like the most innocent ones you’ve ever seen.

The voice in your head suddenly becomes loud enough and you break his gaze, realizing then that you’re also clutching onto his shoulder for support. You give him a look of apology but he just laughs, something you’re thankful for because the last thing you want is for the tension to thicken.

“You’re stubborn, aren’t you? You think it’s that easy?” He shakes his head, his tone sounding like he’s both teasing and reprimanding you.

“It seemed like it,” you shrug, allowing him to help you back on the seat, disregarding the slightest bit of giddiness you feel as he has one hand on your free arm while the other ghosts over your waist in case you fall again.

“It’s not. And I know this because I’ve used this before,” he says. “So since you’ll be by yourself, we have to make sure you can at least use the crutch without falling, okay?”

“Fine,” you concede, listening to his instructions carefully then trying to do it on your own.

It takes some getting used to, but after a few tries, you manage to at least walk without tripping. You plan on just staying in bed or on the couch tomorrow anyway so you’re not that worried. Even if Jungkook still seems to be.

“I’m okay,” you insist. “I’m gonna survive. But you should head home. It’s getting late and you have that ocular in the morning. I’ll just have to email Chin-sun about accompanying you and—”

“None of that,” he interjects. “I’ll be the one to tell her and I don’t want you worrying about work tomorrow, okay? You’re gonna take your medicine and just rest.”

“You’re demanding, aren’t you?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Only when I’m dealing with someone as stubborn as you,” he counters.

You just laugh at him answering back, enjoying your banter more than you should, then he says that he’ll go ahead, for as long as you’re sure you can manage. It takes another five minutes until he makes it out the door. But before he disappears, you call his name, your heart skipping a beat when he turns around, as if he’s just hanging onto your every word.

“Thank you,” you say. “I know it was a long day and it was raining but… you still came for me.”

“Just recover quickly, okay? I’ll check on you in the morning.”

You nod and he leaves. And just like that, you’re once again on your own - damp, injured, and extremely tired. Jungkook’s presence remains in your apartment though, and there he is again, making you smile and making you feel things you shouldn’t.

You don’t mind being alone. In fact, you enjoy it. But during the times when you don’t want to be, he just happens to be there. And being the stubborn woman that you are, deep down, you like it that he is, that in your own little world with the walls up so high, he’s become a frequent visitor. You’re just not sure if you want him to stay just yet.

You wake up the next morning feeling faint and sore, and it’s probably the painkillers having lost their effect. And there’s a reason why, seeing that it’s close to midday when you finally get out of bed. You manage to stand and walk to the kitchen with no issues, and you take your medication and heat up the food that Jungkook bought for you last night. It’s when you’re seated that he calls, bringing that smile to your otherwise uneventful day.

“Hello?”

“Hey, ___. How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Just fine. I took my medicines for the day and I’m about to eat lunch,” you reply. “And you? How was the ocular?”

“It was good. It has a lot of potential so I’ll run down the details with the teams and propose it. But speaking of sites, remember what I said about Hoseok and I thinking of a Scandinavian-inspired mid-rise in the mountains?”

“Yeah, the one you came up with during your trip. Are you gonna push through with it soon?”

“Perhaps. I’ve gotten emails of proposed sites for some other projects but I’ve seen a few that could work with this idea,” he shares. “There’s one in Gangwon that’s near the town center so it would be practical for many. There’s even— ah, why am I saying this to you now? You’re off the clock.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him. Jungkook doesn’t always show this much excitement with the projects he has to manage so when he does, you encourage him. It’s also an excuse to hear more of his voice. “My mind’s not prepared for being home today anyway so I’m a little disoriented. But that’s good. I can look into the sites and we can do an ocular whenever you prefer.”

“Alright, that’s something to schedule for next month. But uh, you sure you’re fine? Does your ankle still hurt? Did you get proper sleep?”

“Well, I slept like a baby,” you giggle. “And I at least remained in one position. It still hurts a bit but it should be okay in the next few days. I’m just gonna have to replace the bandage tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Just make sure to ice it and keep it elevated.”

“Yes, boss,” you tease, earning you a groan. “But uh, thank you for checking up on me. I know you’ve got a busy day ahead.”

He’s silent, and you suppose it’s him again not knowing how to respond to gratitude, so you follow it up by saying that you’ll eat your meal now and reminding him of his meeting at 2PM.

“You better not be checking your emails and my calendar right now,” he warns.

“I’m not. I just memorize your schedule,” you defend.

“Okay then, I’ll go ahead.”

Jungkook drops the call and sinking in his seat, he sighs in relief. He managed to get through that conversation without sounding extremely worried, which is what he’s been since last night. His busy day today actually includes constantly worrying about how you’re doing, but he supposes it’s too much to let you know. Sure it’s just a sprained ankle, but knowing how you tend to move about, anything can happen. You were all alone for some time last night, too, just waiting for a way to get home. And that’s another thing he worries about - that fear latching onto you, that helplessness weighing you down.

He asks Mr. Ri if he’s heard from you, thinking that you’d probably be more honest with him, but the older man says you told him the same thing.

“Don’t you believe her?” Mr. Ri wonders.

“I do, but she’s quite stubborn though,” Jungkook laments.

“Well, I’ve known her for a while and she tends to just deal with things on her own,” Mr. Ri says.

“But she shouldn’t. She’s injured.”

“I think it’s natural for people who’ve been alone for many years to be that way,” the older man shrugs. “I mean, you’re the same.”

Jungkook doesn’t disagree. And if you’re truly anything like him, then you’d just push through the pain and force it to stop hurting so you can go back to your normal busy life because doing so keeps you from thinking of how lonely it feels when you’re sick or hurt and there’s no one around. It’s how he’s always been, too, he admits to himself.

The thought disturbs him, which is why he messages you three more times during the day and then again the next morning, asking if he could drop by. He’s expecting you to insist that you’re fine and he doesn’t need to, so it surprises him when you say that he could.

You’re pacing back and forth in your mind since you’re unable to physically do so, but the thought of Jungkook visiting you this Saturday morning is a lot for you to handle, even if you did say it was alright for him to come. The truth is, you wanted him to, only because selfishly, seeing someone be that worried about you gives you some form of comfort.

You called your family yesterday and told them about the injury, which they obviously panicked about. Your mom asked if you needed her to come to you but like always, you said she didn’t need to. You told Yoongi about it, too, and he was worried as well, in the classic way that he often is; he had food delivered to you for dinner last night so you didn’t have to think about it. You only told your best friends about it this morning and they were furious you waited so long to let them know; they were packing their stuff right as you were speaking to them two hours ago.

You know you have people to depend on and would be at your doorstep anytime you ask. These are the same people who’ve done that for years and you fully accept their care and attention; it’s become a part of you and your healing process. But when someone like Jungkook who, for whatever reason he has, shows you the same, it feels different; he goes out of his way to show it to you, and he’s not even someone who normally does it. It’s a new kind of comfort, one that you find yourself seeking. So when he called earlier and asked if he could drop by, there was an internal sigh of relief.

Over half an hour later, your doorbell rings, and you limp your way towards the door to open it.

Other than being in suits, you’ve only ever seen Jungkook in his gym clothes - half naked as well - and in night out wear. You realize that this is the first time you’re seeing him in a casual outfit, and with a jacket over a sweatshirt and a brown beanie, he looks different - there’s that boyish charm that you’ve never seen; he looks softer, kinder, still reserved but a lot more comfortable.

You let him in after your greetings, then you turn to him and smile.

“It’s really the suit, I know it now,” you tease. “It’s what makes you look intimidating.”

He looks at his attire then frowns at you. “So how do I look now?”

“Not intimidating.”

“Wow, what a surprise,” he playfully rolls his eyes. “Whereas you…” He eyes you in gray leggings and a blush jumper, looking soft and comfortable and even more like the bright spot he’s realized you are, but he’d never tell you that. “You look injured.”

“Gee, what a surprise. I feel injured, too,” you laugh. “But uhm, it’s nice of you to visit my humble mansion once again.”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing better,” he hums. “And bring some more food so you don’t have to worry about it.”

You eye the beef brisket with rice and say that you know what you’ll be having for lunch. He responds that he might just go back to the restaurant and meet his best friends there, too. You return to your seat on the couch, realizing there’s not much room for him to sit on, but he gets to you first, standing in front of you and eyeing the elastic bandage on the table.

“Aren’t you due for a redress?” He asks.

“Yes but uh, I can’t actually reach my foot,” you say with an embarrassed smile. “I’m not really flexible so I’ll just wait until Soomin and Jimin arrive.”

“I can do it,” he offers, thinking that the bandage isn’t serving its purpose if it remains loose. “I mean, I’ve dressed myself on my own before so I’m familiar with it.”

It’s probably the painkillers but something possesses you and you agree, your mind too out of it to take the words back. A part of you wishes you had, especially when your heart does a thing when he kneels on the floor and slowly takes your injured foot. You wiggle your toes in reflex, as if they’re shy, too, and Jungkook laughs at your silly antics, especially when you admit that you’re a little ticklish.

But he softly looks at you right after and asks if he’s hurting you, and you shake your head, unable to say anything else and process that you really allowed this man - your boss and in-denial crush - to do this.

You sit there, charmed by the way he looks determined to get this done. He removes the old bandage and wipes your ankle before wrapping it with a new one. His hands are large and quite rough but he’s very gentle, making sure to not lift your foot too high and that the bandage isn’t wrapped too tightly. Once he’s finished, he lays it on the table and looks up at you to ask if it feels okay.

“Yes,” you shyly smile. “Thank you. That was, uh, that was really nice of you.”

He nods and stands up to throw the trash in the bin, wanting to quickly hide his smile at how wholesome you looked in thanking him.

He proceeds to look around, taking more of your home in. There’s something very calming about it, and it’s more than just the plants that you have and the right amount of sunlight coming from the balcony door and kitchen window. There’s also something familiar, as he looks through your shelf of photos, seeing your mom and her partner for the first time. She looks a lot like you. She has a nice smile like yours, and she sees that same joy on her face as he’d seen on you, as she hugs you tightly in one of the pictures.

The familiarity is similar to when he first had a whiff of your scent - old rose like the one his mother used to wear, one he remembers as a child when he still clung to her. There are those memories that stick with him. Others he doesn’t have anymore but that’s good, he supposes. Seeing your shelf, he sees all the good and tangible things you hold dear.

“The photo on the far right, the one with Soomin and Jimin. We took that during my birthday trip using your gift,” you tell him. “It came out really nicely.”

“It did. Did you finish the film? What else did you take photos of?”

“We used it all up,” you smile. “And just a lot of the scenery and the three of us. We all divided them so we could have copies and just remember how fun that week was.”

“Good, that’s what I hoped.”

Jungkook stands there, his jacket now off so his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and his hands are in his pockets as he looks through your shelf. You wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s seeing, if any of this makes him curious. It’s as if he’s taking in all the small parts of who you are that he can see displayed before him. He turns to you and your eyes meet again, and for a moment, it feels like you’re really seeing him and he’s really seeing you, like there’s something only both of you share and understand and want and can give.

But the doorbell ringing disrupts it, with you wondering who it could be since your best friends won’t arrive until an hour from now. Jungkook walks to the door and opens it, surprised to see Yoongi who’s just as surprised to see his friend in your apartment.

“Hey, you’re back. And… here,” you smile, attempting to stand up but Yoongi tells you to stay put.

“I flew home last night and thought I’d visit and get you some food, but it seems like I’m second in line,” he says, his smug face causing you to glare at him.

“I just wanted to make sure she was okay,” Jungkook defends. “I won’t stay long.”

“Of course you do. And I won’t stay long either. I don’t wanna disturb anything.”

He smirks at his friend, prompting Jungkook to glare at him as well.

“Yah, chill, you two. I’m really just passing by,” Yoongi reiterates, making his way now to sit on the arm of your sofa. “Just wanted to check on ___ and make sure she’s well-fed.”

“I’m injured, not starving, okay?” You groan. “But thanks. What have you got there?”

“Noodles, custard buns, and some tarts. Wasn’t sure what you’re into when you’re incapacitated,” Yoongi shrugs.

“I’m very much mobile,” you correct him. “Just… slow and limping.”

Jungkook pulls your dining chair and sits in front of you, and the three of you talk as if this isn’t weird at all. You’re all colleagues - you and Jungkook consider Yoongi as your friend, but you don’t know if you should consider your boss as such, and you don’t know if he considers you the same. You’ve definitely experienced a lot of things that could qualify what you have as friendship, but even then, there’s something more about it, something a little more intimate, different, terrifying.

You brave through this dynamic and learn that Yoongi likes to tell Jungkook off a lot. It’s the kind of bluntness you expect from Yoongi’s no-nonsense attitude but it’s refreshing to see him be more straightforward towards someone like Jungkook who you’re used to seeing as commanding and serious. Jungkook takes the hits, seemingly unbothered as they bicker, and it’s another side of him you enjoy seeing - the smiles and laughter are natural, and there’s this comfort about him that you suddenly want more of.

The time passes quickly, with the doorbell ringing again signaling that your friends have arrived. Yoongi gets up first to open the door, greeting them who do the same. You manage to stand up with Jungkook telling you to be careful, and when it dawns on them who else is in your apartment, Jimin’s face turns sour and Soomin’s goes from confused to amused.

Jungkook looks taken aback by the cold welcome, but he manages to introduce himself to them.

“Oh, we know,” Jimin says dryly. “You’re the one who gives her so much work that she had to do overtime again and that’s why she got hurt.”

You feel the tension come like a strong wave and you try to lower the level a little bit.

“He also brought me to the hospital and got me some food,” you tell Jimin, whose bitterness isn’t unfounded. He did listen to you complain about this very man all those months ago. “He’s just checking up on me, making sure I’m alright, the way you guys are.”

“As we should,” Jimin huffs. “At least we don’t cause you any injury or pain.”

“You don’t. But you do make things better so could you do that, please?” You say, opening your arms for a hug, something to appease him before it gets even more tense.

Jimin has the sweetest smile but wouldn’t be afraid to burn anyone down with his looks if they deserve it. Jungkook did at one point, but you obviously feel very differently about that now. But still, you glance at the man, hoping this encounter isn’t putting him off too much, and with the slight tinge of guilt in his eyes, you suppose it hasn’t.

Jungkook turns away, partly because a reminder of how he’d treated you before makes him regret even more how you both started, and partly because seeing you affectionate with any man - even if it’s your best friend - makes him a tiny bit jealous, only because it’s something he can’t be with you. Seeing you that way with Hajoon months ago was different; Jungkook had been more shocked than anything. But this time, given that his attraction towards you seems to grow every second, and that he’s been wanting nothing more than to comfort you, there’s more of that feeling of loss, of hope that it could be him one day, even if that’s something that’ll probably never happen.

“I know you dislike him but tone it down for now, okay?” You whisper to Jimin. “My place is too small to contain all this tension.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Seeing him just reminds me of what you had to go through because of him,” he says before pulling away. “But he did help. And well, Soo and I are still upset that you didn’t tell us sooner. You know we would’ve driven here on Thursday night.”

“I know, and that’s exactly why. You both had something big going on and I could wait,” you reply, a reason you give them everytime.

Wanting a short breather from all this, you excuse yourself and ask Soomin to help you with something in the bathroom, and she heads there right away.

“Can you make sure that those two don’t murder each other?” You whisper to Yoongi as you gesture towards Jimin and Jungkook.

“It would be entertaining if they did, but yes, I’ll try,” he chuckles.

You walk to where Soomin is and after closing the door, she looks at you with the same amusement that she’s had since she arrived.

“What in the romance drama is this!” She exclaims, lowering her voice when you scold at her to keep it down. “All your three men coming to your home to make sure you’re okay? Talk about making an impression.”

“They aren’t my men, okay!” You scowl at her. “They all just happened to have the same thought. And no, Jimin doesn’t count.”

“Whatever,” Soomin laughs. “It’s just… I know you’re hurt and that you’ll be okay but it’s just amusing to see them show up for you like this. Especially the big boss. He’s way hotter up close, I can tell you that.”

“Please don’t remind me,” you frown. “I wish there was a potion I could take to make him look unattractive to me so that I’d stop being so giddy at everything he does. And fuck, Soo, I haven’t been like this in ages. Or ever.”

“Well, you haven’t been this accepting of someone’s attention, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, and I’m being silly. I might just be putting myself up for disappointment here,” you groan. “I mean, I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but I know what I’m not supposed to feel. And he’s not making it any easier.”

“Your situation isn’t easy in the first place, hun. And there are many reasons why,” she sighs, wishing there was a way to uncomplicate this very complicated relationship you have with Jungkook. “But whatever it is you think you shouldn’t feel, think about what he may be feeling, too. He wouldn’t be making all this effort since Thursday night for this to just be nothing.”

“I wish none of that means anything. That’s probably gonna be easier, right? That he doesn’t feel anything remotely close to what I do? That’s probably better than dealing with all the complications.”

“Maybe, but we don’t really know,” Soomin says, pulling you in for a hug. “But also think about how new and different this feels. It might be worth it in the long run.”

You fall into her embrace, knowing that during the toughest times of your life, this was your saving grace. It’s no different when you’re confused and in need of guidance, and though you’ve always made decisions for yourself with knowledge of the consequences, Soomin was there to back you up during the times when you were going in somewhat blindly. She wants you to be happy, and you won’t really know if continuing to feel what you do about Jungkook will make you so. If all else fails, well, you could always go back home, or maybe return to Busan and start a life there. Jungkook will just be a memory; you hope to the heavens it’ll be a good one.

You shake away the thoughts and finally go back out and are relieved to find some peace. Jimin’s washing your dishes while talking to Yoongi who wipes them dry. Jungkook sits on your sofa, looking around quietly, but he stands when he sees you approach him.

“I’ll go ahead,” he says, gesturing towards the door. “I… I think you’ve got everything you need.”

“Let me walk you there,” you smile.

He’s outside the door when you thank him again then apologize if Jimin made him uncomfortable.

“It’s okay. I’d be protective of my best friend, too, if I learned how their boss treated them,” he responds.

“I, uh… those were hard times and I may have complained quite a bit about you,” you pout. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sure I deserved it,” he chuckles. “You’re lucky you have them. I mean, my best friends tease me a lot and say shit about me to my face and behind my back.”

“Oh come on, Seokjin and Taehyung love you,” you laugh. “I’ve seen it, but you all also said you’re like that to each other; it’s how you guys grew up. I mean, I was the new girl in school and Jimin and Soomin have been protective since day one, whereas your best friends have shown you tough love since you were kids. They said you never accepted their affection so they switched tactics.”

“That’s fair. I was always shy and then turned into a bitter, introverted child. There was no transition, I guess. Now we’re adults and have just stuck with each other because we’re all we’ve ever known.”

“Well, you make decisions to stand by people, Jungkook. They do with you and you do the same with them. Plus, you’re not that insufferable,” you tease.

“At least you don’t think so. Not anymore, I hope,” he says softly, looking away.

“People deserve second chances. You gave me some and more and I… I’m glad you did. I at least get to see this side of you that’s helped me a lot these past months. I’m thankful. And I hope you know that.”

Jungkook just nods, unable to reply through words again. You let him, knowing it’s his default response. He walks to his car and turns around for a final goodbye, leaving you in anticipation for when you’d be with him again.

“Well, that was a long goodbye,” Yoongi says, surprising you as he stands behind you. “And no, I didn’t hear anything.”

You turn to him with a playful frown. “I was just making sure that Jimin didn’t make him feel too bad. I mean, I know I complained a lot but still. I didn’t want Jungkook to think I cursed his existence or something.”

“You did at one point though,” Yoongi laughs. “But it’s acceptable. Jungkook was rude, and heavens know how much shit I gave him for treating you the way he did.”

“You did, huh?”

“I always told you I’d look out for you, ___. Whatever happened or didn’t happen between us, I was always going to have your back.”

“You’re heaven-sent, Min Yoongi,” you smile. “I wish I could do half as much as you do for me.”

“You do more. I hope you don’t ever doubt the comfort that your presence gives to people. Maybe that’s what it’s done to Jungkook. And I know he hasn’t felt much of that in years.”

It’s Yoongi’s last words before he says goodbye, and they stay in your head for the next few days. Maybe Soomin’s right - all that Jungkook has been doing might mean something, and you hope that finding out what it is will all be worth it.

Jungkook decides to meet with his friends at one of his favorite restaurants for lunch. All he planned on doing today was visit you and he has nothing else going on for the rest of it. The club scene has become boring for him, and going to one only to bring home a woman to hook up with is no longer appealing, not when you invade his mind all the time.

Being welcomed in your home was refreshing. And even if it was awkward, meeting your friends allowed him another peak into your world. You choose the people you allow in, and you don’t choose many of them. The ones you do stay for a long time, and that’s the kind of person you seem to be. You value relationships so much that’s why you don’t have many of them, and with all that you went through and the vulnerability you’ve both shown each other, he’s started to hope that one day, he’d be deserving of that, too.

“So did you feel like a fish out of water being there with her actual friends?” Seokjin asks. “Because I don’t know what you’d consider your relationship with her is. Boss-assistant feels too simplistic at this point. Are you friends? Are you more? Or is that all too ambiguous?”

“I don’t… know,” Jungkook sighs. “We’re all that but we also aren’t. We’ve gone through so much that it doesn’t seem like there’s a way to define what we are. But I feel like I’ve seen her at her most vulnerable and we’ve connected because of that.”

“And what about you? Have you been vulnerable in front of her?” Seokjin asks.

Has he? Jungkook thinks. Maybe that first time he asked for your help with his new role but he supposes it’s nothing compared to what you’ve shown him, intentional or not.

“Not really. I… I don’t let myself be. That’s still distance I need to establish,” Jungkook reasons.

“More like, because you know that if you do show that side of you, you’re scared you’ll find out that she’ll understand, and that having her next to you is what you need to heal whatever parts of you that are still hurting?” Seokjin counters.

“I don’t want to need her, you know that. There’s a boundary I shouldn’t cross. She’s my assistant and—”

“You’ve been treating her like the most important person and it’s not hard to miss,” Taehyung interjects. “You were never like this, not since Chaerin.”

“I don’t even know what it is about ___ that just makes me consider risking things, you know?” Jungkook sighs. “I’m always torn with what our reality is and what we could be but I’m afraid that if we cross that line, we’ll have to make sacrifices. I… I’m finding myself wanting her around all the time. When she leaves, I want her to stay. When she’s not there, I want her to come. But at the same time, I don’t want her too close because I don’t know if I can have her or if I can want her. Because I don’t know what of me I can give that won’t hurt her,” he admits, with a bit of help from some whiskey.

“Maybe if you let yourself be vulnerable, you’d know,” Seokjin advises. “Some people would run and hide but there’s always that one person who wouldn’t. That might just be her. And then you’ll learn what you can give, too.”

Jungkook lets his friends’ words settle and then thinks about them throughout the night that he spends all alone in his penthouse, with another glass of whiskey in his hand as he looks out the balcony. A part of him wants you to run and hide when you see who he really is, what he hides and what he’s ashamed of. Maybe that would be easier, he thinks; maybe that would hurt less.

You return to work the next Tuesday, having gone to the hospital the day before and being cleared to return to your usual routine. Jimin and Soomin stayed with you until that evening, with you rejecting their insistence to stay another day. You can manage, you assure them. You’re able to walk properly now and would just need to do daily exercises, wear the elastic bandage for another week, and forego the heels.

Jungkook’s pleased to know that you’re doing better and makes sure you don’t walk around if you don’t need to, so he’s been the one going to see you when he needs something. He also postponed some potential site visits for the project that he and Hoseok are working on until you’re fully capable, which is why it’s three weeks later when you find yourself in the car with him, on the way to some towns in nearby provinces on an early Friday morning.

Mr. Ri called in sick today and Jungkook didn’t want to deal with a chauffeur he doesn’t know, so he decided to drive instead, thinking it’s more efficient that way. These are all initial checks and being that you’re the only one from his team who’s privy to the details, he wanted you to join him as a sounding board and also to get your own thoughts about what you’ll be seeing. He has a vision in mind and he needs to translate it properly; you’ve been helpful these past months in making sure he’s able to do that.

Disregarding what this time alone with you would do to him, Jungkook meets you in his penthouse, telling himself to focus on only one thing today, and that’s finding the right place for his planned project.

You leave early for a quick stop at a cafe and then head north to some towns in Gyeonggi province. There are some properties and land that are up for sale, and you prepared the information about them beforehand, allowing Jungkook to play around with the timeline and budget in his mind, even drawing rough drafts on his iPad as he assesses them. You’re both in work-mode, discussing each site on the way to the next one, with you searching for more details along the way and him, stopping on the side of the road to add an idea that he comes up with on the spot.

It’s a little chaotic, as his mind goes from one thing to another, but you suppose this is how Jungkook naturally is. You’ve seen him perform his duties in various ways, but this is when you see the most raw side of him, and it’s quite the privilege to see. He always said he preferred the creative aspect of the job, which is why he enjoyed his time in Singapore, handling the design department. You contend that he’s grown tremendously in his executive role. As Hoseok has said, Jungkook relates to his staff better now, and has even engaged and attracted more partners with his great ideas.

You’re quite sentimental going on this trip with him. It wasn’t long ago when you were going to work with anxiety, anticipating his next criticism so you can prepare yourself, and then going home feeling like a failure. So much has happened since then, and you could even say that you’ve found comfort in your daily routines; doing something different like this is now exciting and something you look forward to, especially since it allows you to go outside, see the sights, and breathe the cool air.

“You okay there?” He asks, noticing your silence.

“Yeah. I was just thinking how 10 months ago, this would’ve stressed me out so much.”

“What? Going on a road trip?”

“Pretty much going anywhere with you,” you laugh. “Car rides even with Mr. Ri made me freak out, and I was so scared to make a mistake or make you wait for information that I couldn’t find. And now here we are - I survived the last five hours with you and not once did you groan at me.”

“Wow, I must’ve been a really terrible boss to make your standard for a non-stressful day to be that low,” he laughs before turning serious. “But I… I’m… I’m sorry, for all the stress and anxiety that I caused you. I was being selfish and irrational about it. I hate change and you were the biggest one, even with my new role. I took out all the frustration on you and I shouldn’t have.”

He says more than he expected, but it’s also the apology that he should’ve given—that you deserved —months ago.

“I forgive you,” you say softly, glancing at him before returning your eyes towards the road. “I always knew my limits and I guess I let you push it and that was on me. I could’ve stood up to you, too.”

“You did though, more than once. And that knocked some sense into me.”

“I guess,” you hum. “And then things improved and I’m just glad they did.”

There’s a prolonged silence after, as you both opt to bask in the scenery around you. There’s that understanding and acceptance of how things were and that regardless of what’s going on in your own minds, you at least have this. You think to yourself that this just makes leaving that much harder, but at least this is one more memory you could take with you.

You make it to Hwacheon in Gangwon past noon, and this is where you spend most of your time in, as the sites are spread out around the county. There are areas tucked away in the mountains while there are those closer to town with grand views. It’s in the latter where you grab some lunch and go through some of his plans, and you take in his ideas, learning from him in the process.

It’s late in the afternoon when you inspect the final site, which is in an area in the neighboring Chuncheon county. It’s got potential for another project that CEO Jeon is looking to do, and with your notes completed, you and Jungkook start the trip back home. You would reach the tail-end of the Friday night traffic by the time you return to Seoul, the GPS says, and so both of you savor the sky’s changing colors as it transitions to the evening, letting the soft sounds of the radio replace the silence.

Barely 30 minutes in, the rain starts to pour, and it’s seconds later when it dawns on you what that means, as you hear heavy breathing next to you. You turn to Jungkook whose hands are tightly gripping the wheel, with sweat lining his eyebrows despite the cool temperature.

“Did the forecast say it was gonna rain?” He asks, the mix of panic and frustration evident in his voice.

“Yes, but not until late in the evening,” you say, checking your phone to make sure you got the correct information.

Your heart breaks upon realizing that at midday, the weather station warned that there was going to be a thunderstorm, with rainfall coming in around this time. You inform Jungkook, and despite all the progress in your relationship, your heart breaks a second time when he says that you should’ve constantly checked, that the weather changes all the time and you should’ve been mindful, and that now you’re both gonna be stuck on the road because he’s unable to drive and you don’t know how to. His tone is harsh, accusatory, as if it was something you could control, as if everything was your fault, just like how it was before.

Jungkook stops on the side of the road as the downpour continues, and he leans his head on the steering wheel now as he takes deep breaths. You tell him he could breathe better if he sits straight up, but he ignores you.

A part of you wants to remark how it’s ironic that just earlier, he was apologizing for the way he treated you, and now it’s like you’ve both taken a few steps back. You want to say it’s not your fault, that you wouldn’t even have known that the rain affected him this way if you hadn’t seen him be nervous about it when you went home from the gala last year. But you think about the way his eyes looked earlier, how they filled with worry and fear, like there was a sense of powerlessness that you know a little about.

So you settle for a bit of grace and understanding, thinking they’re what he needs.

“I don’t know why this is on me,” you say softly. “I didn’t know how bad it was but if I did, I would’ve checked constantly and I would’ve had us turn back the second I saw that forecast. And if I could drive, I’d drive us back as fast as I could. I’m sorry.”

He slows his breathing and sits up. His hands still tightly gripping the wheel but his eyes are downcast, and you suppose there’s more sadness than anger, so you stop pressing your nails on your skin, which you’d started doing in anticipation of him arguing with you about it.

“I don’t like the rain,” he shares, his voice low. “I… I have a bad memory of it as a kid and I just get reminded whenever it starts. I panic when it gets louder and I just… I can’t stay out here when that's all I can hear.”

His honesty surprises you. You can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for him, even more that he has to suffer through this right now in front of you, considering how hard it is for him to express how he feels. You don’t know how bad this weather is gonna go, and at this pace, the thunderstorm will probably reach you by the time you make it back to Seoul. So you do what you do best, and that’s to come up with options.

“There’s a guesthouse not far from here,” you say after checking the map. “It’s the closest one. We could spend the night there and wait out the rain. That’s better than being stuck here or continuing the drive back to the city.”

He nods in agreement, knowing there’s not much he could do. He doesn’t want to be stuck here; even more, he doesn’t want to unload on you nor have you witness how much worse it could be.

He keys in the address you give him while you call the property and ask if they still have available rooms. They do, so you reserve two and sigh in relief that that’s one problem solved.

You make it there in 15 minutes. Jungkook heads out the car first with the rain having eased up a bit, and you retrieve his luggage from the trunk, the one he keeps there for emergency trips and instances like this one. It has enough clothes for a day, and you’re glad that at least he has something to change into.

You make it inside and meet the owners then introduce yourself, stating that you reserved two rooms.

“I’m so sorry but we had to give up one of them,” the woman says. “A family came in with a baby and we couldn’t turn them away. The weather’s going to get worse tonight and we try to accommodate as many people as we can. I hope you understand.”

“That’s… that’s okay,” you say, knowing you would’ve done the same.

The thought of sharing a room with Jungkook feels too intimate and definitely not good for your heart, added to the fact that you’re probably not his favorite person right now, so you try to find a way out. You turn to the living room and see the sofa that’s big enough for you, so you ask if you can just stay there instead.

“Our cleaners will be using that space since they can’t go home due to the rain. I’m sorry again, Miss. Your room has twin beds so I hope that eases your worry somehow.”

“It’s fine, we’ll manage,” Jungkook says from behind you, hoping to the heavens that he will. He has one fear, and that’s you seeing how he really is during times like this.

He takes the key and walks up the stairs to the room you’re given. It’s spacious with a fair enough distance between both beds. He takes the one farther from the window then gets his clothes from his bag. It dawns on him that you don’t have your own with you, so he offers you his sweatshirt.

“It’s okay,” you shake your head. “It’s gonna be cold and you’re gonna need it.”

“So will you. You can’t be in wet clothes, not in this weather.”

“It’s happened before,” you shrug.

“___, just take it,” he insists, placing the item on your bed. “I have a top here that I can wear and the blankets will be enough. This is loose but it’s at least better than damp clothing. And you can go ahead in the bathroom. I’ll just give Mr. Ri a call.”

You nod and head out, taking his jumper and the towel with you. You’re given some basic toiletries, and the warm shower is just what you need for that bit of comfort after a stressful evening. As you’re about to dress up inside, you hear a knock on the door.

“I asked the lady if they had spare pajamas for you and she gave me a set,” Jungkook says from outside. “I’ll leave them on a stool by the door.”

You wait for him to leave before getting them and putting them on. It’s a plain set of shorts and shirt that’s a little big but it’s way better than your damp skirt and blouse, which the owners offered to wash and dry for you for tomorrow.

You return to the room with Jungkook sitting on the floor, and you give him back his sweatshirt that he turns down.

“I’m fine,” he insists. “Don’t you get cold easily? You’ll need that.”

He walks out, barely meeting your eyes. You’re sitting on the edge of your bed when he returns half an hour later, the sight of him with damp hair in black sweatpants and a white sleeveless top doing things to you. But you shake the thoughts away, especially as he once again creates that distance. He doesn’t look at you when he settles in bed, nor when he switches off his bedside light, and definitely not when he turns around to face the other way. You sigh to yourself, feeling even more alone now with him acting like this.

You can’t really blame him though. Dealing with something that elicits painful memories is difficult, and you understand the tendency to isolate yourself and push people away when that happens. It’s what you do sometimes, but still, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you a little when Jungkook does this to you, considering how good your relationship has become, regardless of your stupid attraction.

Settling in your bed, you decide to turn around and face the window. You focus on the droplets creating their own artwork on the glass, in hopes that it’ll help you take your mind off Jungkook, even if he’s literally just a few feet away from you. The last thing you want is a strained relationship, and you hope that this doesn’t make him fall back into his old ways. Although he’s experienced a few stressful moments these past months, they weren’t personal, and you suppose situations like this are when his emotions truly come out.

The rain has gotten stronger again and you’re pleased that Jungkook isn’t awake for this, based on the soft snores you hear. You’re about to fall asleep, the sound hypnotizing you a little, but that’s when the first blare of thunder strikes, causing you to jerk in bed in surprise. It used to scare you because of what it reminded you of, but you learned how to manage it after the first hit; the succeeding ones are no longer triggering. In fact, you just think of how it used to drown out the sounds of what you were truly afraid of.

Just then, you hear distressed moans. The sounds of frantic breathing and shifts on the bed follow right after. And then there’s a restrained groan, like a call for help that doesn’t fully come out, and that’s what alarms you. You immediately get off the bed and rush to Jungkook’s side. You see that he’s still asleep, his body - now uncovered by the blanket - is tense, despite his efforts of turning about. The low sounds of almost-cries convince you that he’s having a nightmare.

Thunder hits once again and it’s much louder this time, eliciting another frantic response from Jungkook. He’s kicking the covers while gripping the sheets, and with another roar of thunder that causes him to scream, that’s when you decide to wake him up.

“Jungkook, hey, listen to me,” you say, sitting on the edge of the bed and keeping his head still with your hands. You’re able to control him as he continues tossing and turning, repeating his name until he slowly opens his eyes. “Hey, you’re safe with me, okay? Just focus on my voice.”

He’s awake now and you see the worry in his eyes, but you talk to him calmly, wanting him to trust you. It works, as he nods and slows down his movements. But he’s still breathing heavily, his lips chattering and the rest of his body shivering.

You anticipate another hit of thunder, and you’re able to shield him from it, pressing your palms on his ears, trying to drown out the sound. You stay that way, thumbing his temples as you tell him it’s okay, that you’ve got him, and that it’ll be over soon. You hold his gaze to let him know that you’re not going anywhere, and his pretty eyes that often look so far away are now overtaken with fear.

“Just look at me, alright? And follow my breathing,” you instruct him, your voice as gentle as you can make it despite your own worries for him.

He does as you say, his hands gripping your wrists as if to keep them there, and you assure him that you won’t let go until he says so.

“You’re doing good, just keep breathing,” you repeat, pacing your breathing with his until you’re doing it together.

You don’t know how long you stay that way, with his head between your hands and your eyes locked on his. It takes a while, but the thunder eventually stops and the rain eases. Jungkook finally calms down and you slowly release him from your hold. You watch him shut his eyes, as if in desperation to let everything go, before he opens them again.

“Is that better?” You ask, moving just a bit farther from him to give him space, but you remain close, wanting to be next to him in case something happens again.

“Yeah, that was, uh… that was tiring,” he huffs.

“I think the thunder has passed but if it happens again, I’ll be here, okay?”

He nods, his soft and desperate eyes now looking at you to express his gratitude. You want so badly to hug him, to hold his still-shaking hands and assure him that he’s not alone, that you won’t let anything hurt him for the rest of the night, and that you understand it all - whatever it is he’s afraid of, and why he keeps it all to himself.

But you suppose that’s going too far. You’re afraid that you’d want to stay there, even more if he doesn’t want you to. So you nod as well and think that he at least has this to comfort him, that he at least knows you’re just there.

You walk back to your bed and lie down, facing him this time. You smile, wanting that assurance to be the last thing he sees before he falls asleep again. Jungkook does the same as he settles under the covers, patting it down so he could see you better. You both stay there, safe in your corners, your eyes telling each other things you can’t say.

Whatever distance you felt earlier has shortened. Right now, with both of you falling asleep to each other’s view, he’s never felt so close.

The morning after heavy rain is always bittersweet. There’s the reality of the damage it caused but you also can’t deny that it gives life to other living things. What it also does is make way for clear skies and give you that fresh, rainwater scent of the grass and the trees. It’s what you see and smell when you open the bedroom windows, reminding you that the evening has passed and the worst is over.

You spot Jungkook seated on one of the chairs in the garden, and you hope that the view is making him feel better, with the nightmare from last night slowly drifting away from his mind. You dress up in the dry clothes you find hanging on the doorknob of the room then head downstairs, surprised to see food prepared in the dining area. The tofu stew and grilled mackerel are so appetizing, and the loud rumbling of your stomach reminds you that you didn’t eat last night, with all the stress making dinner your last priority.

“Hello, dear. It was a pretty hard evening so we prepared something for our guests,” the owner says, her radiant smile reflecting the brightness of the day. “You may call your friend outside so you can both eat and get ready for a long drive home.”

You thank her then call Jungkook, his eyes brightening when he walks back inside and sees the food. He engages in conversation with the owners, asking about this town and the surrounding ones, and what their appeal is to non-residents. You gauge that he’s doing a bit of research himself, and you think he’s at least not too out of it to still do so.

“You’re free to stay until noon,” the owner informs you. “You can enjoy the view outside; it’s really pretty now that the sky has cleared. I’ll be making tea shortly as well.”

Jungkook says he’ll return to the garden and you wait for the hot drinks before following him. You’re unsure if he wants you around but you try, sitting next to him then sighing in relief when he doesn’t move away.

“I was 10 years old when my parents sent me and my brother to a cabin somewhere in Hwasun,” he starts. “I thought they were coming with us but it was just me and Jeong-sik and some staff. He and I never got along. If he wasn’t ignoring me, he was teasing me. But that day, he convinced me to play hide-and-seek, saying that by the time he finds me, our parents would be back. We were outdoors and I ended up wandering too far, so close to the woods that I couldn’t find my way back. My brother hadn’t come and I was getting scared. And then it started to rain.”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“It started getting stronger and the skies had become so dark, I could barely see anything,” he continues, his eyes fixed towards the mountains faraway. “The rain made the ground slippery so I decided to just sit by a large tree and hope someone would find me. It felt like hours and maybe it was. The thunder was so loud then and it kept going and going and going. And I was drenched and all alone, and no matter how hard I screamed, no one could hear me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you say, feeling your heart break as he narrates a painful memory that you can relate with.

It’s only close to what you experienced yet it feels so real to you. You can feel his fear and his pain in the tremble of his voice, in the way he grips on the edges of the bench, in the way his jaw clenches at the memory, like it’s one he’s tried hard to bury yet can’t get rid of, no matter how hard he tries.

But this feels so personal, and you don’t want him to feel like he needs to share it with you.

“You don’t have to explain,” you add. “I know it’s difficult to share something like that.”

“But I want to,” he responds, turning to you now. “Because I’ve carried the memory with me for 20 years and I’ve been dealing with it all on my own. But that’s not an excuse to treat you the way I did last night. That’s not a reason for me to take it out on you and especially to blame you. That was wrong of me and I’m sorry, ___. I…”

He looks down, perhaps trying to gather the courage he needs to be honest with you, to be vulnerable with you.

“I don’t want you to think that I didn’t need you because I did,” he adds. “I was scared and I didn’t think I needed you but you were there and I’m so sorry.”

You sit there and watch him cower onto himself, and somehow you see the little boy who was scared, who was wondering why he’d been left alone, who was waiting for someone to come find him or perhaps… someone to sit there and be with him until the rain stopped. There’s a lot he carries; there’s also a lot he buries, as if there’s a bottomless hole within him where he keeps everything hidden but it still feels too heavy, too much, taking from him every time he hides something new.

You don’t say anything for a while, as you start to see Jungkook for who he really is. You feel the weight of his words and how much it took for him to say them. It’s not that his experience makes him different, but now that you know the pain he’s been carrying with him, you’re able to see the other parts of him that he’s unable to show, perhaps too afraid that someone wouldn’t understand, or that they wouldn’t stay if they found out why he keeps his distance and why he pushes people away.

Your silence prompts him to look up. You meet his eyes and see the sadness in them and it feels like he needs more than just forgiveness.

“We do things we don’t mean to when we’re afraid,” you tell him. “It doesn’t always mean we intend on hurting them. And I understand that, more than you know. I’ll never take that against you.”

Jungkook nods, shifting again towards the view as he lets your words sink in. He was hoping for forgiveness, but he got so much more. Maybe there’s a reason why you’ve been patient and gentle with him ever since the beginning. Perhaps you’re carrying your own burden and painful memories that you’re unable to share and deal with, too, and though he’s nothing like you, there’s comfort in knowing that you’re the same somehow.

He senses you turn back to look at the mountains, and the silence prompts him to continue the story of an experience he’s only shared twice before - once to his best friends and another time with Chaerin, all of whom have seen this side of him - the scared and vulnerable side. They were understanding and supportive as well, trying to find ways to comfort and help him deal with it. You’re the third and the one he’s known the shortest time, yet he feels more comfort with you than anyone who’s ever tried.

“I fell asleep at that tree while waiting,” he recalls. “The next thing I know, I was being carried back to the cabin. The rain had stopped but it was still dark, and I was tended to until I fell asleep again. I was sick for days and I didn’t see my parents until we were back in Seoul. It’s just a hard thing to remember. I know we have selective memories and I always wish that’s one thing that I don’t ever have to remember but life isn’t that kind, I guess.”

“It isn’t. But we learn to face those fears though, and manage them. It’s the only way we can get through it,” you say.

“Have you?” He asks, wondering if that’s another similarity he shares with you.

“Not really. I wouldn’t be alone and where I am if I have,” you say. “But I’m trying. And I’ll continue to.”

“That makes one of us,” he sighs.

“Well, it’s not always easy if you’re not quite sure what you’re really afraid of,” you respond. “Is it just thunder?”

“Yeah… but once the rain starts, it tells me that thunder could come. It doesn’t always but it’s what my brain tells me. Then I get anxious and I… I don’t know what to do. Like I’m paralyzed and unable to think or move. I just… stay there and sometimes, I don’t even know what’s happening.”

“Well, it rained when I got injured,” you remind him. “But you managed to get me to the hospital. And you stayed with me. That’s definitely something.”

“You were hurt and it was more important that you got treated,” he reasons. “That was scary and I guess my brain told me to get shit done that moment.”

“So… do I always have to be hurt for you to get through the rain when it starts getting bad?” You ask.

“Don’t talk like that. I can’t have you going through that again,” he frowns at you.

The way he reacts to the thought of you being hurt gives you that warm feeling again. But it reminds you that you feel the same. You don’t want him to be scared, you don’t want him hurt, too.

“Fine. But when it starts to rain and you’re all alone and you feel like you can’t manage, you call me, okay?” You tell him.

“And what would that do?”

“That way I can talk you through it. Maybe go to you if you want me to.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because during the times I was afraid and alone, you were there,” you bravely say, turning to him and prompting him to do the same. “Sometimes something triggers those memories but then I think of how you stayed with me in the alley and in the playground and in my apartment. I think of you and I stop feeling scared. Maybe you can think of last night when it starts to get bad, too. And we can just create more of those memories to override the bad ones. Wouldn’t that be better?”

He savors your words, not realizing how much you’ve held onto your moments together. And he understands that now. The way you held him together last night is ingrained in his mind, and if that’s how it feels to be with you during his darkest moments, he starts to wonder how good it would feel during the good ones.

Maybe he’ll start with this, as you both sip citrus tea while looking at the lush mountains out on the horizon. He’ll continue with the scenic drive back to Seoul and a stopover at a cafe for some iced coffee and conversations about good memories. And at least for today, he’ll end with the sight of you walking to your apartment and then turning around to wave him goodbye, and then your smile giving him warmth on this cold afternoon.

The door shuts and he starts the trip back to his place - empty, lonely, just like how it’s been for years, all his pent up emotions bringing him to this point of isolation. But there’s you - the feel of your touch, the soothing sound of your voice, and the gentleness that got him through the night.

He misses you already. And much as he knows he’s in big trouble, thinking about you and wanting you is all he could do.

Series Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx @di0rgguk @thequeen-kat @fan-ati--c @cravingforhotchocolate @adoraminie @helenazbmrskai @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @gukssunshine @kookxin @petuliii @yoursthv @libra04 @fancycollectormoon @twixxxpie @ignoretheskies @ohmydarlin-g @bids97 @minyoongiboongi @main-bangtansmauyeondan @bora-bae7 @investedreader @petalsofink @jvngkooker @stopeatread @craftymoonchaos @alpacaparkaseok @coletaehyung @boyfriendtaekook @moonchild1

Series Taglist:

@xhazmania @ash07128 @rinkud @junniesoleilkth @junecat18 @peachytokki @baechugff @coralmusicblaze @jalexad @pamzn @hoseoksluv89 @familiarlikemymirror3 @kookies-n-spice @hyuneyeon @thisartemisnevermisses @jk97bam @nadzzzblog @xyarinx @megnugget98 @shameless-army @jkslvsnella @lvr2seok @nayashalouiseburrows @peterstarkchrishiddleston @kgneptun @cynicalbitch666 @roxexexee

#jungkook fic #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #jungkook series #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #boss jungkook #jungkook fanfic

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theyluvkarolina · 2 months

Text

𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` he saved my goldfish from a burning house. trust. ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Sometimes love makes you act stupid. luckily, the f1 community has Logan’s back to help him with his crush.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Logan Sargent x Supermodel!Reader

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 ୨୧ some photos are of the beautiful madison beer!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ none!

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln I’m so honored to be a part of Williams this race! Looking forward to more in the future! 🫶🩵

1,234 comments

username1 wtf bro she's stunning 😭

username2 they could have picked someone actually important but noooo they chose some model 🙄

username3 I came be the only one that saw how mesmerized Logan was looking at her...

williamsracing So happy to have you! You're welcoming anytime!

*liked by therealyn_ln!*

logansargeant happy to have you join us! come back anytime, I'll be happy to show you around Miami! 🙂

→ username4 LOGAN SHOOTING HIS SHOT??? → username5 bro sounds too proper 💀 → username6 I know he was shaking while typing that → therealyn_ln is that an offer or a promise? → logansargeant why not both?

IMESSAGES

**correction: “IT’S HARD ENOUGH WITH HER BEING SO PRETTY, BUT HER BEING SWEET TOO? I WAS SO NERVOUS

TWITTER

IMESSAGES

INSTGRAM

therealyn_ln has added a new story!

therealyn_ln

📍 miami, florida, usa

therealyn_ln It’s fun having your personal tour guide :)

2,143 comments

username7 WHO IS THAT MAN???

username8 we lost her guys 😔😔

username9 logan and y/n collaboration????

logansargeant should have used sunscreen

→ therealy/n_ln hey, it’s not my fault the nyc weather got to me :((

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln back to the paddock! 🏁 as logan promised, I was in fact shown around the miami track! (ps. I took his sunscreen advice!)

tagged ; logansargeant

1,783 comments

username10 they are so sweet :((

username11 pls tell me they will date

logansargeant glad you learned from the original florida man

→ therealyn_ln correction, florida BOY → logansargeant rude 🤕

logansargeant

logansargeant Not the result we wanted.. but we will bounce back! 👊 Thank you to all the fans for the constant support!

tagged ; therealyn_ln

1,694 comments

username12 “fans” it’s just y/n lol

therealyn_ln i thought we talked about using these kinds of photos bestie logan…

→ logansargeant never call me that again… → therealyn_ln can’t make any guarentees 🙃

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln pasta night was a flop… so we got chick-fil-a!

tagged ; logansargeant

1,853 comments

landonorris @therealyn_ln logan let Max win the season, trust 🙏🙏

→ logansargeant i did??

username13 @therealyn_ln he saved my goldfish from a burning house. trust. 🙏

username14 @therealyn_ln logan saved my family from an airplane crash, trust me fr 🙏

oscarpiastri @therealyn_ln logan gave america it’s first f1 points in 30 years, he’s that good 🙏

→ logansargeant not you too oscar pastry 😞 → oscarpiastri i take that back, you killed my koala 👎 → username15 HELLO????

therealyn_ln

therealyn_ln guys, logan stole my heart and still hasn’t given it back 😞

tagged ; logansargeant

1,990 comments

username15 OML FINALLY A FIRST DATE

username16 OUR PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED 🙏

oscarpiastri thank god, i had enough of logan’s fan girling every day

AUTHORS NOTE : first post ✔️ thank you sm for reading! Definitely not my best, but not bad for my first post! always hoping to improve :)

also, sorry about all the spelling mistakes! i really need to improve on them 😅

have a wonderful day lovelies 🩶

#f1 x reader #logan sargeant #formula 1 #☆ﾟ smau ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #oscar piastri #f1 smau #f1 social media au #logan sargent x reader #formula one x reader #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x #☆ﾟ user ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝

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ettawritesnstudies · 1 year

Text

Etta's Guide to Writeblr (March 2023)

So you fled here from Twitter/TikTok... Where to start?

Welcome to Writeblr! Pull up a chair, open those documents, and pour yourself a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, or cocoa. The first thing you'll want to do is start following other writers. Check out this post for recommendations! Search through the notes to find hundreds more. Since I made that post, a bunch of people mentioned they're lurking and still trying to figure out tumblr, so I thought I'd make this post to help people get settled.

How to set up your blog

Make your blog name something not resembling a pornbot - it can be whatever you want, anything fun goes, just not [name###]. If you include "writer" or "author" somewhere in the url it makes it easier to spot writeblrs at a glance but it's not a requirement

Change your profile to something that's not the default, Make sure you have a blog title, and add a little description in your blog header if you feel like it!

Make a pinned post introducing yourself (pls don't use your real name or any IDing information for privacy's sake, this isn't facebook), a short summary of your WIPs, and links if you have an author's website/newsletter/ao3/etc. You can check my pinned post for an example

Make intro posts for each WIP! You can spruce these up with graphics (canva and unsplash are both great free resources to make edits/moodboards), excerpts, lists of tropes, character intros, etc. Link to the WIP intro in your pinned post so it's easy to find! You can update these as often as needed

If you want to make character intros, go wild. If you can't draw, piccrew is a great option. Just start talking about your WIP!

Come up with a tagging system to keep your blog organized. I recommend individual wip tags or at least one for your original writing in general so it's easy to search for your work on your blog

Keep track of Taglists for your WIPs. Whenever you post a new thing about your story, tag the people who asked to be notified to make sure they see it! Only tag people who ask to join the taglist, but it's a good way to keep track of interest. It's normal to have multiple taglists for each story+ one general writing taglist.

How to make writer friends

Reblog their work and add nice comments, either in the tags, comments, or the reblog itself People notice regulars in their notes and appreciate the attention. I promise it's not weird to compliment a total stranger

If that's too intimidating, community events are your friend!

Weekly Ask Games: These are weekly events that are loosely themed where writers send each other asks about their WIPs! The most common are Storyteller Saturday (about the writing process), Blorbsday (aka Blorbo Thursday about characters), and Worldbuilding Wednesday (about the setting of your story). If you answer these late, nobody really cares, but it's a fun way to receive prompts and learn more about other people's stories.

Ask Games/Memes: These are posts with lists of questions you can reblog from other people, sometimes themed or listed with emojis. It's common courtesy to send an ask from the list to the person you reblog it from, then people can send you questions as well, so you can talk about your stories! You can search for dozens of them

Tag games: There's a ton of different types of tag games, but basically someone @s you with a challenge/question, you reblog with your answer, and then @ a bunch of other people to continue the chain. Some common ones are Heads Up 7s Up (share the last 7 lines of your WIP), Last Line Tag (share the last line you wrote), and Find the Words (ctrl+f the given words in your doc and share the results, then give new words).

Formal events: These are community wide participation challenges organized by certain blogs! @writeblrsummerfest is every July?? August? I think? It's run by @abalonetea a few years strong, and there are daily prompts and ask games! @inklings-challenge is a month-long short story entry for Christian writeblrs. I think there was a valentines event in February. @moon-and-seraph is hosting a pitch week soon! Since these are more organized, it's very easy to find similar blogs and support!

Misc. Notes on using Tumblr

Follow the tags #writeblr and #writeblr community to find other writers, as well as other tags that interest you like #fantasy for example

If you want to bookmark a post to read later, you can like it and/or save it to your drafts

The queue/schedule function is very useful if you want to space out posts or have a backlog to keep your blog running when you get busy. This is good for the community because it gives older posts a chance to be rediscovered! You can change the posting frequency in the settings.

REBLOG YOUR OWN STUFF. People aren't always on at the same times and so it's the best way to account for people with different schedules and timezones. If you're worried about being annoying, you can tag those #self reblog or something similar and other people can filter the tag, but otherwise it's a welcomed and accepted practice.

If your excerpt is pretty long, put it under a cut. On desktop you can do this by selecting the squiggly button on the far right when you make a new paragraph, on mobile type :readmore: then hit enter.

It's polite to add descriptions to images and videos for visually or auditory impaired people. If you don't know how to write descriptions, here's a good resource

In your dashboard settings, it's best to shut off the options "Best Stuff First" and "Based on your Likes". These function as the website algorithm and suppresses the blogs you actually follow, which defeats the purpose of the site, letting the dash be in reverse chronological order. Also turn off Tumblr Live because it's malware as far as anyone's concerned.

Curate your experience, block the trolls, and be nice

Update for March 2024

How to shut off AI Scraping on your blog

Go to settings and find the Visibility tab

Scroll down to the tag that says "Prevent Third-Party Sharing"

Turn that knob over so that Automattic can't steal your work for their language training model databases >_<

The other settings will just hide your blog from search engines so they're useful for hiding from nosy parents or other Tumblr users but if you're trying to build an author platform you can leave them off.

Again, welcome to the community! I hope you have a ton of fun!

#writeblr #writer community #etta rambles #welcome to tumblr #guide to tumblr

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moneypriestess · 1 year

Text

sorry that this isn't like the other one i wrote, and i don't really mention vlad or the other imagine i wrote, but i like this so pls no negative things :) i hope you like it!

Danny was walking home from his school when a stranger suddenly accosted him in an alleyway. The man's hand reached out and grabbed Danny by the arm, startling him. Danny's instincts took over, and before he knew it, he had latched onto the man's hand with his sharp teeth. The man grunted in pain and tried to pull his hand away, but Danny wouldn't let go. He kept on biting, and the man soon realized that there was no easy way out.

The man tried to talk Danny down, but his words fell on deaf ears. Danny's eyes were narrowed, and he had a wild look on his face. He was completely consumed by his animalistic instincts, and all he wanted to do was to keep on biting and gnawing on the man's hand.

The man started to panic, and he yelled for help. But there was no one around to hear him, and he knew that he was trapped. He continued to struggle, but Danny's hold on his hand only grew stronger. The man was in agony, and he was starting to wonder if he was going to lose his hand.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the man heard footsteps coming from down the alleyway.

Bruce had been patrolling the streets of Gotham when he received a call from commissioner Gordon. There was a report of a disturbance in an alleyway, and Bruce knew he had to investigate.

As he approached the alley, he saw two figures struggling in the shadows. He crept closer, ready to swoop in and take down whoever was causing trouble. But to his surprise, it was Danny Fenton who had a hold of the other man's hand.

Danny was wild-eyed and unkempt, and Bruce could see that he was in no state to be handling a situation like this. The other man was clearly in pain, and his hand was covered in blood.

"Step away from him, Danny!" Bruce commanding voices echo through the alley.

Danny froze in his tracks, holding the man's hand with his sharp fangs. Bruce could see the fear in his eyes, and he knew that Danny was not in control of his actions.

Bruce quickly assessed the situation and knew he had to act fast. He pulled out his signature batarangs and shot them at the ground near Danny, creating a loud noise that startled him.

Danny let go of the man's hand, and Bruce quickly came forward, grabbing Danny in a bear hug and pulling him away. Batman was experienced in dealing with situations like this, and he was able to calm Danny down.

The man who had been attacked was grateful for Batman's intervention, and he thanked him profusely. Bruce knew that Danny needed help, and he made sure that he was taken care of as well.

tag list:

@dragonfirefeather @tiblii @overtherose @skulld3mort-1fan @learning-to-fly-on-my-own @elvesandlanterns @anonymousf28 @malice-of-the-sunrise @joseph557 @thatonegaybitch68 @i-always-say-yea @the-legal-shipper @sailor-goddess @seraphinedemort @lyra689

#dc x dp #crossover #batfam #danny phantom #dc x dp crossover #idk how to tag man #dc x dp prompt

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genshxn · 2 years

Note

thoughts/headcanons on yandere childe?

✤ 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐜𝐬.

warnings: yandere, stalking, manipulation

(pls lemme know if there’s any i’m missing so i can tag it accordingly)

!! reader’s discretion is advised !!

a/n: ngl i’ve probably got more to say loool. anyway hope you enjoy!

word count: 976

ok yeah who didn't see this one coming. everyone knows that man’s a little off at the best of times.

if there’s something childe can’t defeat, he is going to take every measure he can to accomplish his goal. and you are something he doesn’t understand he couldn’t quite describe it when he first met you in liyue harbour, but there was something different about you to him. he thought about you a lot. the stranger at northland bank. why were you there? why did you occupy his mind so much? perhaps it was by fluke or chance, but he saw you much more often after that.

you came to northland bank under the guise of being a new fatui recruit, stationed in liyue. a simple story. but something in the way you carried yourself said otherwise.

because you had piqued his interest so much, he decided to look into you. such a thing was of course easy for him. however this only served to fan the flame further. what came back was that you are an enigmatic informant for the qixing. did they send you to look into the fatui’s actions? cute. maybe childe will have to learn more about you in return.

the two of you of course hit it off very well with your friendly chat in the northland bank. childe is very charismatic and amicable; it’s hard not to get along with him. you thought you got on with childe very well — a crucial to safely getting information from him. what you didn’t know was that it was maybe a little too well. childe had a growing obsession with you. you are really a qixing informant? what other secrets are you hiding? do you have any other motives? any motives to do with childe?

it was incredibly unprofessional of you, but you admittedly had begun to develop minor interest in the man you’re meant to be investigating in secret. whenever he smiled at you—which was almost anytime he would see you—your cheeks would prickle with warmth. the feeling always made you awkward, making you avert your eyes from him and fumble your words. it’s the simple things like that that make him silently lose his composure. you have no idea what effect you have on him. you have him wrapped around your finger and you don’t even realize it.

✤ following you

he’s offered to walk you home on multiple occasions, each offer getting turned down. he doesn’t need to go to the trouble. besides you’re more than capable of defending yourself. that doesn’t stop him from silently watching you walk home. by now he knows the route from memory. what if something happens when he’s not around to protect you? he couldn’t live with that thought.

some days childe didn’t even have to follow you. you’d be the one following him around. he’d purposely lead you around to random places, not really doing anything beyond entertaining himself. it wasn’t hard to notice you, but it also wasn’t hard to lose track of you. to spare your confidence in your work, he wouldn’t suddenly turn around and give you attention, as much as he wanted to.

✤ items

once you had left one day, childe’s eye was caught by a golden glint on the ground. he looked down and knew instantly it was a pendant of yours. did you lose it? of course he picks it up, but he still debates on what to do with it. he knows he should return it to you, but a quiet voice within him has become all-consuming. perhaps he could buy you an even nicer one instead.

the look on your face the next day was worth it. you were enamoured with the new beautiful brooch. when it caught the light, it shimmered like a beautiful diamond. you showed it off proudly to childe when he casually approached you about it the next day. you said it had somehow ended up on your front doorstep with a small, cryptic note attached. luckily the brooch you had wasn’t too sentimental, but still a shame to lose. either way, you were quite thankful to the mystery gift-giver.

needless to say, every time you lost an item, there would be a brand new, even better one to replace it less than a day later. where those items went and who was getting these new ones was a mystery. no matter how much you tried to find out to the best of your ability, you’d find nothing. with another frustrated sigh of giving up, a silent figure felt himself smile from the shadows.

✤ possession

archons save whatever poor soul looks your way for a second too long. that person will feel like they’re staring death in the face with how scornful a gaze childe casts their way. you never seem to notice it, as he always does it when your back is turned.

that kind young man was brand new to the northland bank and the fatui. he was an honest, hardworking new recruit. however, childe was lingering nearby close enough to bear witness to it all.

to your saddened confusion, the next time you saw that young man, he appeared as though he wanted nothing to do with you, eyes barely able to focus on you as though he were constantly looking out for an imminent threat. that was the last time he ever spoke to your face. what could have happened, you wondered. you didn’t know him well, but you were upset nevertheless, so you told childe. he was sympathetic, unsure of what happened as well. what a terrible thing to do to you. he would never do such a thing to you. you could always trust him. as you accepted his sympathetic hug, childe couldn’t help but let that smile creep onto his face.

#tw yandere #tw stalking #tw manipulation #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #yandere childe #yandere tartaglia #childe x reader #childe #childe headcanons #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia headcanons #why this man have so many names

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 10 months

Note

don't wait for tumblr to give u more tags. go off about tony and steve and zola pls i am humbly requesting

As a part of my ongoing war on my ask box this is a very old post regarding a tumblr tag essay i made forever ago. i half answered this ask when it came in and then forgot to finish. without further ado:

Anon is talking about this post about Steve and Tony’s relationship. I HIGHLY recommend the original post it's great but i copied the original tags essay below since it's been so long since the ask arrived.

#I feel like anyone who writes Tony stark for marvel should have to go watch bojack horseman first as like a mandatory assignment#because that show understood the premise of Tony stark better than any MCU writer ever has and it wasn’t even writing for tony stark#in sum bojack horseman follows the titular bojack who is a washed up 90s sitcom television star#bojack himself is extremely self destructive and the show follows him as his selfish and egotistical tendencies erode at his relationships#However bojack himself is an extremely sympathetic character. his harmful acts are all tied very directly to the trauma of his life#he’s a survivor of generational abuse whose own substance abuse problems stem from the fact that he was in such a neglectful environment#that he had started drinking at an INCREDIBLY young age got himself sober only to relapse due to a spiked drink after fame

#this sympathic is increased by the fact that he does geninuinely love and care for his friends and often goes to extreme lengths to show it#but what the show understands that MCU writers dont is that his tragic past doesn’t excuse the harm or pain he causes and the show goes to#LABORIOUS extents to emphasize the consequences and suffering his actions cause in his attempt towards making amends#it is FASINCATING to me that MCU just fails to grasp this because it’s really the core of Tony’s character. his story is one of redemption#and regret. but what it never seemed to get is that requires recognition of wrongs and change and his relationship with steve is a prime ex.#when they meet tony is 40+ and Steve is 23-25. steve has been awake from world war 2 for less than 2 weeks everyone he loves is dead and hes#visibly haunted by his time in the ice. his ptsd flashbacks to crashing the plane is how his character is introduced. Tony spends the time

#calling him ‘capsicle’ and talking about how much he can’t stand steve. the narrative plays it off as a gaff of little consequence but#practically speaking that’s INSANE. like can you imagine you’re a traumatized war vet who got out of a coma 2 months ago and woke up to#discover everyone you ever loved is dead and this stranger twice your age at your new work nicknames you coma boy and hates your guts bc of#his daddy issues? like Tony in avengers is borderline cruel but the narrative and the fandom never acknowledge it. it’s like removing the#laugh track on a scene from one of those old sitcoms and realizing how mean it is. and while we can fully acknowledge that Howard hurt Tony#that doesn’t make it Steve’s fault and doesn’t give Tony the license to take it out on him. like at the end of the day your healing is your#responsibility and the MCU fails to grasp that with Tony. honestly it does a disservice to the depth of his character b/c Tony should have#already grown past this by the time of Avengers. he had already gone through iron man 2 and grappled somewhat with his relationship w howard#while that doesn’t mean he’s healed yet it does mean that his character needs to learn to grow past it or he risks stagnation. mcu just#happily embraced stagnation and it made the character worse for it. Theres a scene in the comics where Tony is the first to reach out to#Steve post ice. he takes him to the air&space museum and welcomes him to the future. THATS the growth we want. Bc fundamentally even if we

#sympathize for Tony’s abuse by Howard lashing out at someone who was functionally dead at the time of ur dads mistakes is a very juvenile#mindset. /growth/ is deciding to be better than the person who hurt you and the MCUs obsession with blaming Steve for howard cut that off#CW would have been SO MUCH MORE COMPELLING if Tony had formed a relationship with Steve bc Steve would be torn between past and present but#instead Tony is saying how much he hated Steve during the fucking movie and Steve’s taking it with grace. like you’re 50 man you gotta work#past this at some point. out of tags but I have Opinions about Tony and actually zola too but we won’t get there give me more tags tumblr

Fundamentally, my issue with Tony and how he's written for the MCU is that he has the potential for one of greatest redemption arcs ever and the writers are fucking allergic to giving it to him, and his dynamic with Steve is a a prime example of it. How poorly Steve's relationship with Tony was mishandled is a pretty perfect case study as to how Tony as a character was mishandled as a whole.

As stated in the Tumblr Tags Essay above, by the time Steve came on the scene, Tony should have already grown past his hate for Steve. To be clear, that is not saying he should have gotten over Howard or any harm that he suffered as a result of his. Howard was his parent who was, to some degree, at least emotionally neglectful, if not abusive. Healing and learning helping coping mechanisms does not demand you forgive your abuser.

But Steve was never his abuser. He's a 20-something year old guy who has been trapped in a block of ice for Tony's entire life and who woke up two weeks ago to find out that everyone he ever loved is dead or suffering from alzheimer's and that his sacrifice was for nothing because he was just told the thing he drove a fucking plane into the fucking arctic over is Back Again Because We Learned Nothing.

And the thing is that the realization that "This man can hold literally no complicity in my abuser because he was frozen in the Arctic Circle the entire time" requires a level of emotional maturity you generally achieve at the age of thirteen or so. Tony is fucking fifty. Mentally, he's over twice Steve's age. At absolute best, the way Tony treats Steve from the outset is immature and more accurately it's downright cruel. Voluntarily killing himself by driving a plane into ice only to wake up and discover that he has lost everyone he ever loved is undoubtedly one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to steve, and he just woke up from it. He is two weeks out from this. He's actively having flashbacks of what happened right before Tony starts cracking jokes about it. It'd be like if Steve walked up to Tony right after he got back from Afghanistan and called him Waterboarding Boy and everyone treated it like it was a cutesy character trait.

That's one of the most egregious parts of how Tony's character is written--things that are objectively things that need to be addressed in his character arc area treated like acceptable and borderline justified quirks in his personality. Tony's relationship with his father is one of the cornerstones of his backstory and who he became. While he doesn't have to forgive his father on the road to recovery, he does have to realize when he's using it as an excuse to hurt others and stop it.

That's also something he never does, and one of the reasons why i think that the writers for him need to watch Bojack horseman. In the same movie he's claiming to that he was Steve's friend, he's still saying to his face how much he fucking hated him over things that happened when Steve was supposed to have martyred himself to save the world.

There's multiple parts of Tony's character that could have formed the basis of an amazing character arc if he grew and improved from them, but the narrative refused to even recognize them as problems, let alone have him overcome them, and his relationship with Steve is a perfect example of it. The writer's refusal to recognize that brings down the quality of his entire arc and cheapens him as a character.

If Tony had been allowed to recognize that Steve was not to blame for his father, accepted it, and given a man half his age who just lost everything a lifeline, that would have shown an amazing amount of growth. Instead, they left him as immature and cruel. It's a shame and an insult to the potential of his character, and it's a mistake that they repeat again and again. Tony was supposed to be completely against developing weapons for others, but he canonically helped build a major part of Project Insight. Tony's entire stance in Civil War was meant to show that he had accepted that he made mistakes and that he needed to be held accountable for his actions, but then he went and unilaterally built EDITH, whose existence violates multiple international treaties including the Accords and had so few safety precautions that a teenaged boy was able to accidentally call out a missile strike on his teenaged classmate. He's in a movie where he's driven by his guilt for causing the death of someone's college-aged son, and in that same movie he blackmails a high-school-aged boy to join in on a fight he knows nothing about, that goes directly against his interests, and could get him killed even if he was certain that Team Cap wouldn't use lethal force. Rhodey got paralyzed from the waist down from friendly fire. Tony had a moment in the same fight where he had reason to fear that Peter had been injured if not killed.

Ultimately, Tony's entire character is built on a foundation of repentance and growth. That's why he has so much potential and why he's so compelling. The fact that his writers were unable to recognize when he even needed to repent, let alone allow him to grow, was honestly insulting to what he could have been.

Zola:

The reference to Zola is actually more of a response to fandom’s response to Zola as a whole than the actual specific person who made the comment.

Overall, the majority of fandom response that I've seen just seemed to be sort of besides the point? The thing about Armin Zola working for SHIELD is that I personally have only seen discussion about this in context of talking about how Peggy and Howard are Bad or talking about how steve would feel betrayed when he discovered it. To be honest most of the discourse I’ve seen has just been about hating Peggy Carter and using this as a sledgehammer in that discussion.

It’s not that I disagree with that reading of it—like, I do think Steve felt betrayed by the realization that Zola was recruited in the end, and I think it’s bad to have recruited literal Nazis—but I do think that fandom elevated the most tangential point of it to the detriment of its entire narrative purpose. I've only ever personally seen it used in character discourse and shipping wars--which like, anyone can draw on any plot point they so choose while participating in fandom. But Zola's recruitment was the thematic core of Winter Soldier, and it always seemed kinda weird to me that it was treated as a personal defect in Howard and Peggy when it was the entire argument of the movie and one of the best social commentaries that the MCU ever made.

Zola gives what I think is one of the better MCU villain speeches in the bunker about how Hydra recovered after the war. He states that they realized that taking the freedom of the world by force only galvanised people against them. It led to their own downfall. But he explains that Hydra realized that the people of the world would freely give away their own rights and freedoms if you made them comfortable. If you say you’re doing it for their own safety and comfort, then they’ll effectively look the other way while Hydra seizes control of the world. And that entire monologue is bolstered by the fact that that is exactly what happened in Zola’s case.

Zola was brought into SHIELD as a part of operation paperclip. Operation Paperclip was a post-war initiative by the United States government to recruit key Nazi scientists into United States scientific development. This entire initiative was brought about in response to the Cold War arm’s race and it was justified on the basis of dire national security need. Both America and the Soviet Union were EXTREMELY CONCERNED about losing the cold war. As a result, they were willing to take pretty much any strategic advantage they could, including After, President Truman, who gave the final go-ahead for the initiative, said that "this had to be done and was done."

Even after it became public knowledge, it was defended as more of a necessary evil and the cost of the practicalities of governance than a world power welcoming war criminals with open arms. Multiple participants have been linked to human experimentation, slave labor factories, etc, though none were ever formally found guilty of anything--which may be because the US aggressively whitewashed their pasts and then went so far as to help relocate one of the members of the initiative to Argentina.

This was, again, all a part of the Cold War arms race with the USSR--who had an identical program going at the same time, Operation Osoaviakhim.

En arguendo, let's just assume that all of this was done with the best possible intentions and execution. The nominal rationale was the Cold War. While analyzing the Red Scare and the entire Cold War period would take way too long, I think a solid premise we can agree on is that nuclear war is bad. It would have been disastrous for anyone alive if the Cold War had escalated, and recruiting top scientists from the Nazi regime 1) kept the USSR from doing it instead, which they were actively doing, and 2) helped prevent strategic advantage in one country or another that may have led to an escalation. Now, I'm not a historian, and all of these premises can naturally be debated, but these were the like, best faith premises that world leaders had at the time. If you want a nuclear deterrent, you need the biggest stick.

The thing is that, if you assume these premises as genuine for the sake of the argument, the absolute best this leaves you with is doing a very bad thing for a very important government purpose. You're supposedly preventing nuclear war, but you're doing so at the cost of justice for all the people who suffered at the hands of these people, and the risk of future harm that they may cause.

Which, thematically, is the core of the Winter Soldier.

I've usually seen Zola's recruitment discussed in terms of Peggy or Howard making the decision to let him in, when in reality, they probably didn't make the call themselves so much as become complicit in it later. Zola was captured and recruited right at the end of CA:FA (he later clocks this at 1945) but Peggy and Howard didn't even have an organization at that point, let alone the power to recruit a head Nazi scientist. This was two decades before SHIELD was ever founded, and if we take the Agent Carter series as binding canon, at the time of Zola's transition into American government would, Peggy had so little sway that she couldn't even get anyone to listen to her, let alone recruit a nazi scientist, and Howard was potentially on the run and definitely not involved in any formal governmental decision making. Even if you assume that they were somehow in charge of a government agency at the time of Zola's recruitment, the actual recruitment and function of Operation Paperclip was conducted by independent agencies (Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency and the Counterintelligence Corps) that Peggy and Howard weren't a part of, and the person who made the call for Operation Paperclip itself was The Literal President Of The United States. Whatever way you cut it, Peggy and Howard probably had nothing to do with Zola's initial recruitment--what most likely happened was that two decades passed (the time between Zola's recruitment and SHIELD's founding) and when resources were being allocated some big-shot in the overseeing body was like Yeah You Do Weird Stuff? We Got A Guy Who's Been Doing Weird Stuff For Us For Like Twenty Years and then when Peggy and Howard saw him they were like Oh Its This Motherfucker.

To be clear, this is not at all to absolve howard and peggy for working with a guy they knew did literal human experimentation because he did it on one of their best friends. But this is to more clearly reframe it from Decision They Personally Made to The Ways Being At A Certain Level Of Government Makes You Complicit With Horrible Things, which perfectly encapsulates the heart of the movie.

At the open of the movie, Steve is visibly on a fucking ledge with SHIELD. Fuck, Fury and Nat spend most of the opening trying to keep him from flying the coop. And it's because Steve for the very first time has to grapple with the consequences of being an active participant in a governmental body.

Straight up--Steve spent the entire war going AWOL. His entire military career was spent doing what he wanted and flipping his superior officers the bird. The man was a terrible fucking soldier but by the time anyone figured it out they had already given him a comic book and the Medal of Honor and the man could bench press a tank it was simply too late. Then, he got encased in ice for 70 years, woke up, had two weeks of fun future integration activities like Not Getting Therapy For His Problems and Looking At Pictures Of His Dead Friends, got tapped in because they fucked up with the exact thing he lost everything to stop, immediately went AWOL again, almost died again, went on a roadtrip of self discovery, and at some point between then and CAWS started working as one of the main STRIKE members of SHIELD. This is likely his first time having to ever deal with the realities of being a hand of the government.

One of the most insidious things about high-level government work is there's rarely some Main Guy sitting behind a desk signing Evil Decrees and responsible for everything. Power is allocated and things get messy very quickly.

Take Ghost for example. One of SHIELD'S Main Guys falls out with another Guy, smears his name, which makes the Ex-Guy so desperate that he takes unnecessary risks in his experiments that predictably blow up in his face and leads to his young daughter having a debilitating power that results in her uncontrollably phasing through objects. Another Guy tries to do the right thing and help her, but Other Main Guys think "This kid would make a GREAT assassin" and leverage a cure for her debilitating health condition into turning her into a forced operative. This health condition starts to kill her, but the Main Guys were so happy with their new forced assassin that they never looked for a cure to begin with and was going to use her until she died. She goes rather reasonably goes AWOL, and in her attempts to cure herself, she's willing to do just about anything to get cured, and including contemplating kidnapping Scott's daughter as an option.

Steve obviously wasn't called in to help with that (he was AWOL himself at that point) but assume he was--he would only get pulled into this mess at the very end when all the damage is done and there's a highly unstable assassin kidnapping little girls. SHIELD was at fault for every horrible thing that happened to this person. He has a strong sense of justice, and he'd likely to be furious to find out that SHIELD took an orphanged child and abused their incredibly painful and terminal medical condition, which was indirectly caused by them, in order to force them into becoming a highly skilled operative.

But there isn't just one person that he'd be able to find and blame for what happened with this--culpability was stretched out over Multiple Main Guys who made bad decisions, a lot of Lower Guys who built the suit, trained her, handled her in the field, and experimented on her to learn her limits, many of whom likely didn't even work for the organization any more.

Who do you go after for that? The Main Guy who smeared her dad? But he didn't have anything to do with the assassin business or the actual accident. The Main Guys who made the calls for the assassination thing? Better candidates, but is it that simple? What about the guys who just get orders every day and have no decision making authority, who were handed a little girl who was vulnerable and in pain and told to train her to kill? What about the ones making a child-sized tactical suit with no details about what was going on but who had reason enough to suspect it wasn't all good? They were just following orders, but so were Nazis working the camps.

How do you go after people for that? Fire them? It's been decades. Most are probably retired. And that's a pretty lame punishment for what they did. He doesn't make the calls for legal action, they definitely have qualified immunity for their decisions, and there's a whole host of problems with proving anything.

But, on the flip side, what does he do about Ghost? what happened to her is terrible, but if she had kidnapped Cassie Lang, he couldn't exactly sit on his hands and let it happen no matter the justification. There's a very good chance he has to stop her and become another link in a chain of what's been a lifetime of abuse. Things get messy when you're just a cog in the machine of a sprawling agency that has a lot of power to abuse.

While we don't know what Steve's been doing while he worked for SHIELD, we do know that it pissed him off to high heavens. The very first thing we see him doing for SHIELD is recapturing the off-course Lemurian Star from pirates, and he is the exact opposite of a dutiful soldier during it. He doesn't just salute and follow his orders without question--one of the first lines of his mouth is calling them out for lying about the ship being in those waters because it was off-course. He's like "Oh, so it's not off course, it's trespassing" to which Nat says "I'm sure they had a good reason" and Steve replies "I'm getting a little tired of being Fury's janitor."

He's saving the hostages, and then all of a sudden he finds Natasha in the control room downloading the drive and realizes that this was about SHIELD's data to begin with but no one clued him in on that fact. He's pissed because the hostages could have died, which is a fact he immediately goes after Fury about.

There is so much character jammed into those few minutes of screen time. This is visibly an old argument--at one point, Fury says to him "It's damn near getting past time for you to get with the program, Cap" to which Steve tells him not to hold his breath. Steve doesn't like or approve of a lot of SHIELD's actions, but he's called in after all the bad things they did went to shit. Like, what's he going to do--say, sorry, the Lemurian Star was obviously Up To Some Shit that I don't want to be a part of, RIP to the hostages but I'm just going to let them get shot in the head? He's the janitor and he's sick of getting called into SHIELD fucking something up through their own immoral actions and calling him to pull their ass out of the fire. He spends the entire first half of the movie on the verge of flying the coop entirely, and Nat and Fury visibly know it and are trying to get him off the ledge in every interaction they have on screen with him--which directly contributes to the fact that Steve doesn't trust either of them for the first half of the movie.

It also is likely the motivator behind why he does ultimately trust Sam. Steve spends the first half of the movie getting Managed. He's increasingly pissed and distrustful of SHIELD and its agents, and he's got good reason to be--Nat and Fury hide things from him and keep trying to persuade him to stick with the program (to be clear Nat's (and to a somewhat lesser extent Fury's) own actions and whether any culpability for things like project insight could possibly be imputed to her has to be analyzed under an entirely different lens due to the difference in her personal history and character type, but this is already way too long to tackle that here. this isn't actually meant to assign blame to her, but more to analyze the likely results on steve). Fury takes him for a tour of his Fascist Death Machine and tells him that's what the world needs. The neighbor he was growing increasingly intimate with was a SHIELD agent who lied to him about her name and the fact that she was spying on him. At the end of the day, the majority of the of the early movie is spent with his desires and principles are treated as secondary and unwanted complications to the fact that they really need him to keep throwing that shield on SHIELD's behalf (whether this is actually what nat and fury specifically are trying to do is, again, a separate analysis we don't have time for, this is just to go to how it likely affects and appears to Steve).

Sam, meanwhile, is beautiful and charming is the only one who openly expresses a genuine concern for Steve as a person and not steve as a solider. Sam spends the entire first half of the movie reaching out to someone in a position he's been in himself and trying to get him help. his entire first meeting with Steve is defined by him trying to help a fellow Vet recover from war. he tries to gauge where Steve's at with the future, invites him to the VA, and packages it in a easily-seen-through excuse that gives them both plausible deniability--Steve can come by and get the help he needs not as Captain America The Man The Myth The Legend Who Is Really Fucking Struggling, but as Steve the guy helping Sam impress the girl at the front desk.

When he comes to the VA, Sam has the direct opposite response that everyone else in the movie has to Steve questioning his place in SHIELD and in government work--he's like "Quit. Quit now. Be free and beautiful like me. become an ultimate fighter or whatever the fuck you want." He doesn't give two shits about what the world will do without Captain America keeping it safe--he just cares about what Steve needs.

This all goes to a greater analysis about how Sam is beautiful and charming the perfect parallel to Steve, the only one who could possibly have taken up his shield, and actually wrong in that line he says about how he does what Steve does but slower because he consistently decides to do the right thing before Steve is another analysis that would go too far off the point to get into. The point being is that Sam exists in the narrative as the direct opposite and alternative to the reality fury and nat offers Steve. Steve spends the beginning of the movie with Nat and Fury seemingly sacrificing the means for the end, but there's Sam, beautiful and charming someone who made the same decision he's now faced with, being like "fuck it. sometimes you have to walk."

Steve's entire struggle about his position with SHIELD reaches its climax when he first finds out the truth of Project Insight.

For the avoidance of any doubt, SHIELD secretly being infiltrated by HYDRA has no effect on how wrong Project Insight was from the start--it just emphasized how horrifically wrong it could go. But "Space Super Death Weapon That Can Immediately Kill Dangers To National Security" is a bad idea no matter who is in charge of it. First off, Steve is right--punishment follows the crime. No government has a crystal fucking ball and anyone who justifies things on the basis of "taking out threats ahead of time" is talking out their ass. to be clear, i'm not saying you need to wait for someone to be on a plane and flying at the twin towers to stop a terrorist attack--in law, we have a designated level of "closeness" that lets us say "yeah you were totally actually doing what we don't want you doing" at which point you can charge them with attempt, and often a lot of the earlier steps leading up to the Big Harmful Thing are actual crimes you can intervene with.

Project Insight was the flagship of of a "quantum surge in threat analysis." It did exactly what it was designed to do: it took out threats before they became threats. The only difference between SHIELD being at the helm and HYDRA is who gets defined as a threat. HYDRA would have defined that as anyone from a high school valedictorian in Iowa to Stephen Strange, but it's not any better if SHIELD's defining that as some random kid in Afghanistan who shows whatever traits show a risk for one day becoming a combatant.

And yet, steve's the only one in the movie who says this. We don't actually know how much Nat knows about Project insight itself, but Fury is fully aware and a participant in it, and Tony Stark apparently took one look at the thing and said "your engines are shit. i'll improve them." Steve takes one look at them and calls it fascist bullshit.

At the end of the day, you can never justify shit like this under the assumption that the people controlling it will use it for the best, because you cannot trust the people controlling it. Yeah, Project Insight was probably pitched with being used against the worst threats. Dangers to public safety, terrorists, that kind of thing. Do you want to know who else was considered a danger to public safety? MLK, who the FBI fucking murdered. The people who define threats to national security are the ones who have the same incentive to maintain the status quo in an unjust world. Even if we assume Project Insight was made to stop the next 9/11, we also have to assume that at least some of the strikes it would have carried out under not-HYDRA control would have been for the wrong reasons.

What the fuck does all of this this have to do with Zola?

Operation Paperclip and Peggy and Howard's decisions within it directly mirrors Project Insight and Fury's decisions within it, directly mirrors Steve's journey and central conflict over the course of the film, and directly contrasts with the alternative Sam poses within it.

CA:WS at its thematic core, says that initiatives that sacrifice justice for claims of national security and public safety are exactly what robs us of our rights and freedoms and ultimately endangers us all. It's not even subtle--Zola says it out loud in his evil villain speech. but operating at a high level in a government agency puts you in a position where you're meant to make that decision again and again, even if we assume you have the best of intentions.

Peggy and Howard were people who believed that they had to make the hard decisions to save the world. They were handed a decision where perception of culpability was obscured by how distributed out the blame was, and the direct public benefit to national security was posed to be overwhelmingly good. It leads to SHIELD's infiltration. Project Insight went through on the exact same reasoning. Fury, Maria Hill, possibly Nat, and Tony (off-screen) all do the exact same thing and justify the means by the end, and it leads to the helicarriers being made.

Steve spends the movie being told, explicitly, to "get with the program" and start making the same decisions. His central conflict is being someone on the inside of this club, being told that he needs to start understand what keeping the world safe demands, and his journey leads to him refusing to do it. The climax of the movie is a character so minor that we never learn his name refusing to launch the helicarriers with a gun pointed at his head, even though the complicity he carried in it would have been just as attenuated as Steve's was as SHIELD's janitor. And all throughout it, there's Sam, someone who left the military explicitly because he couldn't follow the rules he was being given anymore.

Peggy and Howard's decision to go along with Zola in Operation Paperclip is a direct parallel of the decisions Fury made with Project Insight and the decisions Steve ultimately refuses to make himself. Making Peggy and Howard complicit in what let in Arnim Zola encapsulates the entire core argument of CA:WS and it's so weird to me that I've only ever seen it discussed in shipping wars and discourse as to whether a Character Is Bad.

Peggy and Howard, ultimately, were members of a governmental task force who made the Hard Decisions for The Public Good. As an inherent part of that role, they did bad things. Unjust things. They undoubtedly saved the world multiple times over as a part of their tenure as the head of SHIELD, but it would be absolute naivety to assume that anyone in that position didn't become complicit in terrible fucking things. It's the direct product of their positions in the government, and it's exactly what leads to Steve's position in Civil War. it is absolutely bonkers to me how people watched Winter Solider and then reacted to Steve's opposition to the Accords like Local Imperialist Military Boy Refuses To Listen To Anyone Else. Steve just had a masterclass in how people in the government make decisions that sacrifice justice up to and including people he once trusted with his life. Of course he didn't fucking trust General Human Experimentation And I Consider Bruce Banner The Property Of The United States Military with his every action as Captain America. He had just learned that he couldn't even trust Peggy and Howard with it.

#this became very long #and you know what #if i want to say the same thing in the tags of some unsuspecting person's post then that's my right #more tags when #more tags NOW

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allthefakepeople · 1 year

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11 and/or 12 (actually all of the above, but I’m not gonna make you do that bestie lmao) for Wilmon

hi hi meg bestie

i'm sorry this took a little longer to get to you than i originally thought however it is still over 1K.

and just for you i combined both prompts into one post

also i saw THIS post and @daylightsimon tag and those helped to inspire the final scene.

without further ado, i hope you like it

-miels 💜✨

Kissing Prompts (pls send me more)

Prompt(s):

11. Morning kisses that are exchanged before either person opens their eyes, kissing blindly until their lips meet in a blissful encounter

12. Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss

After the insanity that was the month following Wilhelm’s coming out, Wille and Simon had made an unspoken promise to never take the simple moments for granted again. This included spending afternoons by the lake together, taking in the scene as much as they take in each other, having dinners with Linda (the tension between Simon and Sara was still too fraught and neither could bear explaining the situation to Linda yet) followed by reacquainting Wille with Simon’s room, and exchanging casual “i love yous” that still managed to leave both of them breathless. Every moment they spent together just solidified what they already knew, that this was it. That if they could have this for the rest of their lives, they would be happy.

Of course there were still moments sprinkled throughout their paradise where reality would settle in. Where they would snap at each other or where they realized that the other needed something that they just couldn’t provide at that moment. Wille was still working on understanding what the entire winter and semester had been like for Simon, while also learning how to be there for Simon. Wille had never felt more lucky than, ironically, when Simon had a breakdown in his arms. Simon had run into Micke at the store; it had sent him into a spiral that led to finally opening up to Wille about Simon’s relationship with his father. All Wille could think about while Simon cried softly in his arms was how lucky he was that Simon trusted him again, trusted him at all actually. On the other hand, Simon had started to understand the pressure Wille was under and realized how little Wille had been allowed to mourn the death of Erik. Simon also finally witnessed what it was like when Wille had a panic attack. Not everything was perfect.

But despite the harder times, Wille and Simon always came out of it stronger and, most importantly, together. Simon had never felt happier and Wille, never more at peace. The smiles came freely and the laughter was endless. The past few months were washed away with every light-hearted giggle that passed between them.

Another thing they would never take for granted again was waking up next to each other.

Wille could feel his body coming back into consciousness. The early morning sounds of Hillerska filled his ears. He could feel a warm body pressed up against him and felt his mouth spread into a smile at the feeling. Sometimes he felt tears prick his eyes at the filling of Simon being in his arms again. But today he just felt content. At peace. His eyes slowly opened and he turned his head to gaze at where Simon rested against him. Wille’s eyes tracked Simon from the top of his head all the way down to where Simon’s torso disappeared beneath the covers. He felt a warm glow rush through him, filling him up and rushing out of him again. His hand that had been wrapped around Simon’s waist started to lightly stroke along Simon’s side, encouraging him to wake up.

Once the light didn’t work, Wille leaned forward and started leaving light kisses along Simon’s neck. This seemed to do the trick because Wille felt Simon let out a sigh, the most pure sigh he had ever heard, before he shifted onto his back. Simon’s eyes were still closed but Wille knew he was waking up. Wille watched, charmed, as Simon’s head turned towards him and his lips pursed as if asking for a kiss. Wille would never deny Simon but he also enjoyed teasing his boyfriend just a little too much.

Instead of immediately pressing his lips to Simon’s, as what his boyfriend was requesting, Wille lightly pressed his lips to Simon’s cheek instead. He felt the subtle way Simon’s mouth twitched upward before it settled back into a pout.

“Wille.” Wille felt a slight shiver flow through him hearing his name fall from Simon’s lips in his morning voice. However he wasn’t about to give in just yet. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Simon’s other cheek instead, feeling the way Simon had started to tense up. A sure sign he was about to laugh. Wille settled completely over Simon and felt a hint of something possessive flow through him over how perfectly he fit between Simon’s legs. Wille then brought his lips up to Simon’s forehead and pressed his lips gentle to the smooth skin there. Simon still refused to open his gorgeous, dark eyes so Wille moved down to his nose. He then moved to the corner of Simon’s mouth.

Wille knew what was coming next. Simon quickly turned his head so that their mouths would connect. Wille smiled against Simon’s mouth over being able to predict his moves so accurately. Their lips moved slowly but softly together. Neither moving to deepen it quite yet. Wille felt Simon’s hands trail up and into his hair, as they usually do, and he melted completely into Simon. Wille pulled away briefly, smirking lightly over Simon’s mouth following his.

“What happened to complaining over my disgusting morning breath?” Wille jokes, their lips brushing together. He feels Simon’s mouth spread into a smile at this.

“It’s still disgusting…” Simon reconnects their lips quickly before continuing. “but I don’t really care.” This time it’s Wille’s turn for his mouth to spread into a smile. Finally he pulls his mouth away and opens his eyes, wanting to feel the weight of Simon’s love on him. As his own eyes open, they connect to Simon’s and he feels a rightness settle inside him over finally having Simon’s eyes on him this morning.

“Good morning.” Wille greets, watching as affection fills Simon’s expression.

“Morning.” Simon brings his hand up to brush Wille’s hair out of his eyes, it’s continued to grow longer in the past two months and he hasn’t cut it yet, and settles his hand on the back of Wille’s neck. Wille brings his own hand up to Simon’s jaw and lightly strokes the edge, preening internally over the way Simon pushes into his touch.

“We should probably start getting ready for today.” Wille admits, though he really doesn’t want to leave this moment yet. Simon clearly agrees because he whines lightly.

“Not yet. Please, a few more minutes.” And who is Wille to argue? He brings his lips back down to Simon’s and settles back into his arms.

* * *

Later that day, after a long day, Wille and Simon are cuddled together at the back of the main room at Manor House. The usual film night in full swing. It felt so nice to be able to be wrapped up in each other and have no one bat an eye. Wille had his arm wrapped around Simon’s shoulder while Simon’s head rested on Wille’s shoulder. They had a blanket across their lap and their hands were intertwined underneath, Wille’s thumb stroking along Simon’s. They had taken a little bit to feel comfortable showing this much affection in front of the Hillerska students after everything that had happened, but eventually they realized that they didn’t want to waste even more time not in each other’s arms after everything.

Simon’s eyes were on the projector screen, attention completely captured by whatever film was being shown, however Wille had never been good at tearing his eyes away from Simon. Anytime they watched something together Wille always preferred taking in Simon’s expressions rather than whatever was on the screen. He knew that Simon could tell that Wille was staring at him, but Simon never gave any indication that he cared, other than to tease him of course.

Eventually, having felt Wille’s eyes on him for long enough, Simon turned and caught Wille’s gaze. Delight filled Simon over Wille’s cheeks clearly darkening, even after all this time still getting flustered. Despite being caught, however, Wille didn’t tear his eyes away from Simon. Instead Wille leaned over and whispered in Simon’s ear.

“I love you, Simon.” Wille then pulled back and Simon felt flutters in his chest over those four words. Their eyes connected and tension slowly built between them. As much as they got used to holding hands and cuddling in front of people, they still refrained from anything other than simple pecks on the lips when around other people. This meant, more often than not, they usually snuck away to be alone. They knew people were definitely aware of what was going on when they left together but, for the most part, people were respectful of their boundaries and only those they trusted, life Felice or Maddie, joked with them about it.

Wille gestured his head towards the door and Simon nodded in response to the unspoken question. They quietly unraveled from each other and snuck out the door closest to them, one of the benefits of getting a seat near the back. Once they were in the hall they both sped up knowing exactly where they were headed. They reached the window seat from their first kiss and immediately turned towards each other, giggling at the obvious anticipation between them. Wille sat down on the seat and opened his legs for Simon to slide between, Simon’s arms crossing behind Willes head while Wille’s hands snuck around Simon’s waist, pulling him in.

“I love you, too. I realize I didn’t say it back there.” Wille’s expression at these words leaves Simon breathless. Their lips come together naturally, softly at first but quickly deepening. Simon’s hands move from behind Wille’s neck into his hair and Wille’s hands travel under Simon’s shirt to rest directly on the skin above his waistband. Simon inhales at feeling Wille’s hands directly on his skin, sparks still filling him at Wille’s touch. At the sound of Simon’s gasp, Wille quickly stands from the window seat and slides his hands down Simon’s legs before picking him up, Simon’s legs instinctively wrapping around Wille.

“God, it’s still so hot that you can do that so easily.” Simon’s voice is filled with desire and Wille feels it throughout his whole body.

“Well you’re just hot in general.” Wille retorts, slowly walking them back until Simon’s back is pressed against the wall next to the doorway.

“God, you’re so cheesy.” Simon teases, although Wille can tell he’s pleased by the compliment anyways.

“Maybe you should shut me up then.” Simon’s eyes turn even darker somehow at Wille’s words and any other thought that either of them has is quickly lost to the night as their lips connect again.

#young royals #yr #young royals fic #young royals fanfic #young royals fanfiction #yr fic #yr fanfic #young royals writing #wilmon #wilmon fic #request #kissing prompts #miels writes

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slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

Note

In regards to your dark Toon Patrol drabble, how do you think the weasels would be like as yanderes? Individually or grouped together? Do you think they'd be able to work together or would wind up fighting?

Ooh, do you mean this one??

Hmmm, so we're assuming they're all after the same person? Oof... XD

I think- if Smartass wanted to work together, if he was okay with sharing, then they could. Its his whole damn job description to make them work together- he can do this XD

Butttt if he didn't wanna share... then there would be no one and nothing pulling these we | as | e | l | s together anymore.

So they would compete.

Goodluck to you.

Yandere!Toon Patrol x Reader || Blurbs

Plot: The toon weasels all obsessing over the same reader + How likely each one would be to work with each of the others to get you (🚫 = Means no.)

Warnings: This is dark!! Not the usual fun Toon Patrol stuff! Powerplay in a non-sexual sense, Sexual harassment and assault (Mostly Greasy's, of course, but there is a mention in Stupid's- tho it is still Greasy doing the assaulting), Emotional manipulation, Stalking, use of physical force, etc

Tags: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @moxiiscool , @ryantryan6969 , and @spookiifi

Smartass:

Power Imbalance. Smartass has got connections, and the power of fear on his side. And he willlllll abuse this. Smartass also has the added bonus of thinking he's better then the others!- less obsessed, less evil... better for you. Yeah, wonderful. Anyway, so Smartass will use his connections+informants to track you down and know where you are at all times, he'll have you abducted and call it rescuing if he deems it fit (Greasy's around you, Wheezy's around you, Psycho's on the hunt... reasons like that), learn everything! about you (Blackmail is his best friend), and poooosssibly make you marry him eventually... -- Likelihood to work with... Greasy- 🚫 Hell no. Wheezy- 🚫 No thanks. Psycho- 🚫 Get outta here, you loon. Stupid- 💗 Ehhhhh maayyybeeeee... if he absolutely needs some muscle... Look, he knows he lacks it.

Greasy:

Sexual Assault. Uhuh. Yeah. Are you surprised? No? Good. Definitely part of the reason you caught his attention so insanely is because he is... how should I put this delicately... um... popping boners every time that he sees you. Yeahp. Like, you do not have to be doing anything, you dont have to be wearing anything, you don't even have to see him- he just sees you, and is uncontrollably hot. And he will make it your problem. You're gonna be afraid to be alone, because this bastard will come outta nowhere to touch you. Not particularly sexual at first (just shoulder feels, cheek kisses)... then increasingly uncomfortable (Tummy gropes, butt smacks) until he's pressing and grinding his painfully hard erection into your ass and sucking on your neck. Greasy is also very very intuitive and he pays attention, so he will know what you'll like. He'll make your body react well to his touch, even if you and he both know you don't want him. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 🚫 Greasy is not about to be second in command when it comes to you. Wheezy- 🚫 Greasy is slightly envious when it comes to Wheezy. Psycho- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫+ Stupid- 💚 Very likely!! Stupid doesn't wanna touch you, just watch. Greasy kinda likes that.

Wheezy:

Emotional Manipulation. I have touched on this a few times ^^ Especially in This Drabble, if you're interested ^^ So, Wheezy is fully aware that what he's doing is wrong- he just doesn't care. He even likes it a little. He'll basically input himself into your life as a friend (Like, aren't the rest acting absolutely fucken' insane? Yeah, I see it too... ), and he'll comfort and console you when it all becomes insane... but the truth is, he tells Greasy and Psycho where to find you. And he loves it when you cry to him. He thinks its so damn cute. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 💙 Sure! Smartass can be manipulated just like anyone, and he can be useful. Greasy- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 (Cant be controlled+he doesn't want Greasys dirty hands on you) Psycho- 🚫🚫🚫 (Just cannot be controlled) Stupid- 💙 Yep. Very easy to use.

Psycho:

Where do I even begin... Look, Psycho is already a tad unhinged as it is, so there is no just one thing to touch on, here 😅 Here are the things that he does (Or, some of them): Breaks into your home to watch you sleep, sneaks up on you, holds you still with fingers digging into your skin to force eye-contact, tells you about disturbing dreams/fantasies he has had involving you and just how crazy it made him to think about, giggle somewhere near you when you had no idea he was even around, sniff you without warning (Anywhere you give off scents. So like, yeah- your wrists and neck if you wear perfume!... but also your pits, your crotch area, the creases behind your knees, your feet, etc), turn up at your house in a feral and emotional state (Crying, hissing, scurrying), and more. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 🚫 No. Greasy- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 x a gazillion. Wheezy- 🚫 No. Stupid- 🚫 No.

Stupid:

Stalking. Stupid doesn't have the intelligence to use things against you (Except maybe his strength) like the Smartass and Wheezy, but he is crazy about you... just so so besotted. And so, you just sorta... start to notice... a giant? Everywhere that you go?? Its very unnerving. This huge fat weasel with a buck tooth and a bat will appear everywhere, and most of the time he'll have his eyes on you. You're walking home? He's on the other side of the road, dragging his bat along the ground after him as he stares dumb and heart-eyed at you. You're standing outside of work? He's behind a wall watching you while tapping his tooth. Greasy is assaulting you?? He will be watching, muttering to himself. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- ❤️ Yes boss! Greasy- ❤️ He uhh... likes to watch... Wheezy- ❤️ Stupid falls for everything Wheezy tells him. Psycho- 🚫 Something about Psycho unnerves him when it comes to you... makes him fear for you.

#Toon Patrol x Reader #Toon Patrol x Reader Blurbs #Toon Patrol #Smartass Weasel #Smartass Weasel x Reader #Greasy Weasel #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Psycho Weasel #Psycho Weasel x Reader #Stupid Weasel #Stupid Weasel x Reader #Wheezy Weasel #Wheezy Weasel x Reader

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hyunnieshannie · 1 year

Text

EX | HJ

PREVIOUS ꕀ❀ꕀ SERIES MASTER LIST ꕀ❀ꕀ NEXT

Chapter 5: 9 Leebits in a trench coat.

Pairing: Han Jisung x AFAB. Reader

Word Count: 2108

General Synopsis: Your ex? Shitty. Your family? Worse. Your best friend? Left for a tour in the middle of one of the worst times of your life. How are you meant to deal with planning what should have been your wedding, dealing with your family, and pretending like you're not falling apart all on your own?

General Warnings: Idol!Jisung, mentions of other Idols (P1Harmony/Seventeen), all views on these idols are purely fictional. Idol AU. Mentions of cheating, mentions of smoking and drug use (weed and cigarettes), Mentions of drinking, angst, self esteem issues, depression. Y/N is older than Jisung. (I'm sorry for the jokes that come out of this) (any tags I missed please feel free to let me know! More tags to be added as the story goes on.) A/N: Smaller chapter, it will pick up soon I've had terrible writers block but im FINALLY back with an update for this <3 pls enjoy and let me know your current thoughts on Leah <3

“So he finally talked to you about it?” Keeho laughs as he stares into the camera, “Jheez I honestly thought he was gonna continue torturing himself over it,”

“Yeah I mean, he was really upset over it dude. I don’t know why he’d feel so upset over it, it wasn’t even his fault,” you sigh. It had been a few days since Jisung had spoken to you about why he had been so distant, but though you had originally thought you’d feel better by him talking to you; you’d managed to make yourself feel worse. You felt bad that he had felt shitty about the situation, it wasn’t his fault any of it happened yet he still felt bad. How were you expected not to feel bad about it? You made your friends worry, and worse he had felt so bad that he hid himself away for a few weeks.

“Probably because he cares a lot about you, I’d have felt the same if I were in his shoes, plus there's the whole rant he went on with me about it.”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah he was going on about I left you to him, and he feels bad he’s not doing enough, he just wants to make you happy and all that shit,” Keeho looks at you confused as he tilts his head to allow the stylist to adjust a few things on him. “I’m glad he talked to you though, honestly he needs to learn to be more open with his feelings, can’t let a pretty girl get him all flustered like that.” Keeho scoffs, “I mean how does the man survive on tour?” you laugh loudly at the remark.

“Please Kee, flustered?” you giggle, “Stressed is the better word!”

“No, flustered is the correct one you dimwit. Or did he not tell you about how he-”

“Kee it’s time to go.” Taeyang appears on the screen waving to you, before turning back to Keeho. He simply nods and turns back to you,

“We’ll continue this later,” he smiles,

“Have fun out there!” you smile,

“Have a fun morning Y/N, I’ll call you when I can!” and with that he was gone, and you were back to working on your track. You had only woken up this early to get a chance to talk to him, and the conversation was nice. You missed your best friends and talking to them was nice. Though most of the time it would be a quick conversation, and interrupted ninety eight percent of the time it was still nice to see them.

Your morning mainly consisted of finishing up a song you had been working on for months, and finalizing the vocals for the song you had worked on with Changbin. In all it was a busy morning until noon when you’d have to begin getting ready for a meeting with Leah. After a few arguments with your family you had given in to meeting with her to discuss the dress you'd wear as her maid of honor because for some unknown reason she had decided you’d be staying in that role. You didn’t have to plan anything, the planner had that all down, but still it felt more and more as a chore rather than a joyous event.

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“Y/N. You cannot just leave your sister like this, are you stupid?”

“Mom, I'm not leaving her? She picked a fight with me in front of my-”

“Your little friends crushed her that day Y/N how could you let that happen? You are her older sister, you are supposed to be there for her!” Your mother scolded you, of course you knew you had to be there for her but no one ever seemed to listen to the concerns you had. No one ever saw the fault Leah had, and always pinned the blame on you because you’re the older one, you’re supposed to be more responsible, and Leah was their perfect little angel who could do absolutely no wrong.

“Mom-”

“Y/N you fix this shit with your sister, I’m not going to let you ruin her big day like this. So get your shit together or else” you could picture the face she was making, a mixture of disappointment and anger. That look in her eyes that would tell you that everything was your fault.

ꕀ❀ꕀ

As you sat in the coffee shop awaiting Leah’s arrival, you spent time texting Changbin who’d been asking about how the song was coming along. You laughed as he joked about how if you kept tweaking the song it would become an entirely new one,

Gym Bro [12:04 pm] Hear me out tho

You [12:04 pm] Listening

Gym Bro [12:05 pm] What if you just post the song?

You [12:06pm] Are you crazy? It’s not finished?

Gym Bro [12:06 pm] It’s a good song as is, in your ears it’s never going to be perfect. This is why we have people to review things. If you’re really unsure, let me, Ji, and Chan listen to the full thing and give you some advice on what could be improved. Like I said, if you keep doing it yourself you’ll never think it’s good enough.

You [12:08 pm] Damn you got deep there ;)

Gym Bro [12:08 pm] Oh my god, why are you like this?

You [12:08 pm] I’m joking! But yeah maybe I’ll let you guys just listen to it, but maybe not Chan.

Gym Bro [12:09 pm] THE FUCK YOU MEAN NOT CHAN? He’s probably the best one to listen to the track?

You [12:11 pm] You know exactly why.

You sigh as you look at the time, Leah is well over fifteen minutes late for the ‘scheduled’ meeting the two of you made. As much as it did help not seeing her for now, you’d rather just get it fully over with as quick as possible. Your phone buzzed once more, as the sound of the bell jingling rang throughout the cafe. Leah had finally arrived.

“Sister!” she exclaimed as she rushed towards your table, “How have you been my sweet?” your body cringed at the nickname. How could she act so sweet to you after everything? Brushing it off you force a smile to her as she pulls you into a hug.

“Alright, just working and you?” you give her an award winning smile, that would truly convince anyone in the cafe that the two of you were truly happy to see each other.

“Stressed, but you know how it is; planning a wedding and such.” Leah smirks at you, “Or I mean, you have heard of the stress.”

“I’m sure your planner has got it under control.” You sigh as you sit back down in your chair, swirling the spoon in your coffee as a way to distract yourself from the impending sense of doom building up in your stomach. You watch as the black coffee swirls around in the cup as the silence between Leah and yourself becomes thicker, the honey in which you had put in your coffee had fully melted and dissolved long before her arrival and yet you stirred as if it had been freshly placed. A part of you wished you could slip a shot of something into it, because dealing with Leah required a level of intoxication that would help on drowning out her annoying whines and complaints. Bailey’s would be nice, no. Something stronger, whiskey. That would help. You thought to yourself,

“Anyways listen, what I was thinking for the bridesmaids would be something light pink, and for you I’d have you in something darker to stand out more from them. Unless, you want to blend in with them.” Leah began, “You do have a terrible habit of being unnoticeable so, I think something more bold would be best.” you couldn’t tell what kind of statement that was. Rude at best. “Nothing too bold though, I can’t have you taking any sort of attention away from me.”

“I thought I was unnoticeable,” you scoff as you bring your coffee to your lips, the now cold liquid sliding down with ease as you take a sip. Leah shakes her head, before bringing her binder out of her bag.

“Anyways, I don’t have time to explain every little thing to you; also you never actually answered the Save The Date, so I just marked you down that you’re coming alone seeing as you definitely don’t have the time to find a date, seeing as you’re much too invested in your…song, or apparently still being in love with my fiance to start looking for someone new.” Something about her assumption threw you off, you choked on your coffee as you looked up at her smiling down at you as if she had something against you, “Honestly it really is awkward that you’re still into him. You need to get over it please y/n.” the statement almost had you spitting your coffee back out at her, her look feigning innocence began to cause your blood to boil. Your cheeks heating up as you set your mug back down.

“I have a date.” you mutter, as she gives you wide eyes. “I’m over him Leah, no need to worry.”

“Fantastic! And who is this date of yours, I can mark him down now so that I can give the list to my planner.” Leah tilts her head, awaiting an answer. Truthfully you hadn’t thought of who you’d bring as a date, but her statements today lead you to say something you hadn’t fully thought through.

“My RSVP is in the mail, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the surprise.” it was not.

“Splendid, I’m excited to see who this mystery man is!” Leah laughs, standing from her seat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to alter my dress today.”

“You chose your dress already?”

“Yes, and sorry love. But no matter what you say that dress looked too good on me to pass up. So, yeah.” with that Leah throws her purse and tote over her shoulder and begins to leave. “I’ll send you the name of the shop to find your dress! Love ya!” and then she was gone.

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” You yell into the pillow as Mini sits at the edge of the bed. Of course you just had to go and let Leah get under your skin and say something stupid. “What do I do? I don’t have a date? And Now she’s expecting me to RSVP within this week because my dumbass said it was already in the mail!”

“Calm down and breathe dude,” Mini sighs, “Finding a date won’t be all that hard,”

“Easy for you to say, all you have to do is look at Hyune and he’s following you to the ends of the earth. I on the other hand do not have anyone that would do so. Nor anyone readily available to play boyfriend so that I don’t have to deal with Leah’s stupid fucking behaviour.” You complain,

“You act like we don’t have eight men ready to help you out at any moment.” Mini laughs, “I’m sure any of them would be glad to ‘play’ boyfriend for a night!”

“Min your math isn’t mathing.”

“What do you mean by that?” she gives you a confused look,

“Hyune is taken so that's minus one, so are Bin, Chan, Lix and Minho. So that’s three left. AND I’m not really willing to put Minnie and Innie through that pain and Ji’s already felt like shit because of Leah so he’s out of the question too-”

“Well I guess your only option is to bring nine leebits stacked in a trenchcoat, at least then they’d be taller than you.” Mini laughs, as she throws the plush toy at you,

“That is so oddly specific… how do you know nine is-”

“Listen there are a lot of things you do not want to know, and my skzoo abuse is part of that, anyways there's absolutely no harm in asking them is all I’m saying, and we both know ALL of them would help, it’s just how they are.” you contemplated the idea, sure bringing one of them to the wedding isn’t a terrible idea in itself, but the idea of having any of those boys endure Leah was enough to make your entire body cringe. If Taeyang or Stephen had been around for sure, you’d drag them to it. They already knew how she was; and more specifically how to cope with her constant need for attention.

Tag List

@alyszaen @channiesbub @dugarzaddy @fairywriter-oracle @skzloveforever @neohyxn @chaotickyrith @lemonadencran @raven-skz95 @chanlixiiee @awkwardnesshabitat @drhsthl @katsukis1wife @mysticalexpertwinneralien @hanniejisimp @jaebaebaegot7

#han jisung x female reader #han jisung fluff #skz han #stray kids han #han jisung #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #han jisung x y/n #stray kids #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids fan fic #stray kids fic #han jisung fic #stray kids jisung

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merge-conflict · 6 months

Text

wip whenever

tagged by @wistereia and you know I only need the slightest encouragement to share a bunch of stuff. ;) tagging @corpocyborg @fly-amanitaa and @luvwich (apologies if you've been tagged previously I am awful at keeping track) Been working on the aforementioned smut project, wherein I also get to indulgently vent some more (early PL spoilers below!):

“V!” Myers could project her voice like a sound cannon when she wanted. “Mother’s about to hatch!”

V swore out of reflex, queued up her drone control soft, and yanked on the armored cover with all the strength her adrenaline and a cocktail of drugs could coax out of ganic muscle. It budged the slightest bit under her hands, and something inside the Chimera began to hum ominously. She swore again, louder, and yanked on it again. Another fucking millimeter. She was going to die here, not because of the Relic, not because Arasaka zeroed her, but because she was gonk enough to get herself involved with some shitheel emergency gig– and to top it all off she was going to die alone because Johnny was still trapped somewhere between the relic shard and her rapidly liquefying gray matter–

“V!”

“I hear you!” V snapped, yanked again, almost pulling herself off her perch as the Chimera shuddered again and her foot slipped. “Fucking cover me!”

Time marched on to the rhythm of her desperation. “Fuck!” Yank. “This!” Yank. “Piece.” Yank. “Of FUCKING!” Yank. “Shit!”

Three things happened simultaneously.

And then I've also been working on some more VP. Lots of Johnny photos because I was so relieved to see him after that stressful mission (better the devil you know!). I wish I'd taken some of Reed but I got tired and was busy snapping screens to capture dialog instead by the time he showed up. I assume I'll see him again soon!

Been trying to learn better how to edit vanilla photos to be interesting and look nicer without just.. upping the saturation. No idea what I'm doing but I've been having fun just trial and error-ing which has been nice! Really loved the sun in this spot as you can see.

#wip wednesday #<- well that's the tag regardless #phantom liberty spoilers

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pantoneyoongi · 2 years

Text

04 || objectively speaking

series ; in love with love (with you) description ; you’re a romantic. jungkook? jungkook is not.

chapter 04 ; objectively speaking prev || next

word count ; 2.4k

tags ; jungkook is a flirt, both of them are just so good at being in denial, pls go to masterlist for more / general tags

you’re really beginning to consider quitting your job at this point. you press your fingers to your temple, rubbing slowly. you can’t be the most intelligent person at your job. you can’t. there’s no way, right?

so why can’t anyone else do anything right?

“thinking of me, babe?”

you groan, lifting your head to see jungkook’s cheeky grin. “do not call me babe.” you swivel your chair out to face him. “but i do have a headache, and those are usually caused by you, so i guess you were on the right track.”

you smirk at the way he scrunches his nose in distaste. “come get coffee with me,” he redirects. “jaehyun’s a snake and went already with seulgi.”

you arch a brow. “you can’t get coffee by yourself?”

jungkook’s lip twitches. “i don’t want to.”

you sense a bit of petulance in his tone, a grin already forming across your face. he’s lucky you’re in desperate need of a break (and a caffeine/sugar refill), or you’d really leave him hanging, let him huff his way down to the cafe downstairs all alone. “big baby.”

“me? you’re calling me the baby?” he asks incredulously as you make your way to your floor’s elevator lobby. “you, the literal youngest of us all, the actual child who couldn’t even cook until senior year of college, and only because i literally made you learn how to fry an egg-”

“lalalalala,” you sing, stuffing your ears with your fingers as you hop into the elevator, spinning in circles. jungkook crosses his arms and pokes his tongue against his cheek, eyes scanning you, unamused. you smile prettily at him, batting your lashes until he turns to face front, sucking a breath between his teeth.

“brat,” he mutters, but you just smile smugly while the elevator makes its descent.

jungkook’s a good guy. no matter what you like to complain about whenever he’s within earshot (because, unbeknownst to jungkook, you don’t really complain much about him when he’s not around, because it’s just not as fun), he is a decent person.

this is how he reasons out that it’s normal and friendly for him to have stayed back late nights with you at the office these past couple weeks, walking you home when it’s dark out. your stress increases tenfold every day, visible in the way your hands start to run through your hair, messing up the perfect styling. jungkook has the urge to smooth your hair out, comb his fingers through it - just so you look presentable, of course.

instead he settles for passing by your desk to interrupt you during the moments when you look on the verge of tears, a pleasant burst of warmth spreading across his chest whenever he manages to pull a laugh out of you. when his stomach growls, he drags you forcibly out of your chair - incessant protests and all - to grab a meal. on the days when you look at him with exhaustion clear in your eyes and a small pout to your lips, he relents and brings take-out back for the two of you to share.

it’s friendly. it’s what friends do. and if he gets used to having you by his side when he’s walking home at night, well - he should be used to you, you’ve known each other for over a decade now, went to the same high school, college, everything. of course he’s used to you.

the chill in the night air makes his breath visible when he blows out a puff of air. you’re walking beside him, hood pulled up, face surrounded by the fur of your coat. you look adorably small, scarf piled around your chin. jungkook’s dressed in a dark peacoat, hands stuffed into his pockets.

“hey,” you interrupt the silence you’d been comfortably walking through, jungkook turning to face you. “um,” you realize you don’t really know how to say this. not to jungkook, at least. but you’ve noticed the way he walks you home every night lately, even if he doesn’t have much more work left to do in the office. but instead of the ‘thank you’ you’d intended on saying, what comes out instead is, “props to you for skipping one night stands just to walk me home.”

you feel awkward. and when you feel awkward, you talk more.

“know how much you need your dick appointments, or whatever.”

that’s worse. nice.

jungkook snorts. “you can just say thanks like a normal person, you know.”

you make a face. “to you? never.”

he chuckles, spinning on one foot, landing himself in front of you. he walks backwards, a boyish smile playing on his face. “why don’t you come out with me?” he offers. “you know, see what the night life’s like.”

you scoff, brushing past him. “please,” you scrunch your nose. “the night life couldn’t handle me.”

“bet i could, though.”

you freeze. you were joking - everyone knows you don’t know a damn thing about jungkook’s definition of the night life beyond witnessing it on a tv screen. but jungkook doesn’t sound like he’s joking - his voice pitched deeper than usual, and when you turn to look at him, intending to fire back, put everything back into balance - every thought you have simply vanishes from your head.

he’s standing much closer than he was before, hands still tucked into the pockets of his coat. he leans forward, a smirk teasing at his lips. “what?” you can see the spark in his eyes. he’s itching for a reaction from you. “or maybe it’s you that can’t handle me?”

every logical part of you is aware that jungkook is teasing you. and maybe - there is no maybe; you’re sober, perhaps a little tired, but your mind is clear. and it is very, very adamant about noticing jungkook.

because for a split second, you register the fact that if you look past all the minor annoyances jungkook puts you through, he’s actually incredibly handsome. which, of course, you knew this - his body count alone could explain this - but your coworkers also ogle him when they think no one’s paying attention, girls on the street stare a little longer when he passes by. he’s tall and he’s handsome and he’s broad - it’s just that it’s never occurred to you that you’d think he’s tall and handsome and broad.

he takes a step closer to you, crowding your space. your eyes widen and your breath escapes you, and you swear you imagine the way his eyes dip down to your lips when they part slightly. but then he chuckles, the sound distracting enough that he takes the chance to yank at the hood on your head with both hands, earning a yelp from you as he pulls it tight around your cheeks, cooing at the way your lips purse from the pressure.

“jungkook!” you yell, using your forearm to shove him out of your space. jungkook cackles while stumbling backwards, wide grin on his face as you stomp away, refusing to look back even once as you disappear into your apartment building. you don’t even turn around to wave goodbye to him as you turn the corner to the elevators.

as soon as you’re out of his sight, jungkook releases a breath he feels like he’s been holding altogether too long. his skin feels hot, a flush crawling up his neck all the way to his cheeks, and he quickens his steps, hurrying home.

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck hey what the fuck jeon jungkook

he drags both hands through his hair, mildly distressed. what the hell was that, jeon?

he shakes his head, flipping up his collar to protect himself against the wind. objectively speaking, you’re pretty. adorable, even. you’ve got pretty pink lips and eyes that sparkle over the stupidest, tiniest things, and your cheeks get that rosy flush that any given person would have when it’s this cold out, except not everyone is you, with your stupid fur-lined hood framing your stupid cute face making you look so terribly cozy and small.

still. it’s natural that he’d get confused when he’s flirting with a pretty girl, naturally, he’d have some kind of reaction to any pretty girl staring up at him like that, lips slightly parted and-

okay. get it together. stop it. he sucks in a breath, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, trying to keep himself collected, convincing himself that any girl who’d look at him like that would make his heart race this way.

except, no one has ever made him feel warmth like this, and it’s not just any girl’s eyes that he has memorized looking at him that way, it’s yours, all pretty and filled with wonder and shock and blinking up at him in a way that makes him want to kiss you till your eyes flutter shut.

by the time he gets home, he’s biting his nails, trying not to think about the way your eyes widened. he flops down into bed and absolutely doesn’t think of your button nose all pink from the cold, making him want to pull your scarf up a little higher. and he definitely doesn’t smile remembering the little angry pout your lips formed when you realized he was teasing you, his heart fond as he rolls over, curling into his blankets, content.

and if he dreams of you - well that’s only natural given how much time you’ve spent together lately, isn’t it?

the good thing about mornings - particularly ones as early as the kinds you have around this time of year - is that neither you nor jungkook are morning people. it’s probably one of the only times of day where you’re both so minimally functional that you can’t even be bothered to bicker with each other, your only forms of communication typically limited to either wordless grunts (translation: good morning) or half-sentences that only years of friendship can fully decipher, because jaehyun sure as hell never knows what the two of you are saying whenever he gets caught in the middle of it.

the point being that, when it’s early in the morning, and neither of you have had coffee yet, you have barely enough brain cells to so much as say hi, never mind think about the fact that it’s thursday again.

which means it’s time for your weekly dinner with jungkook again.

not that “weekly” means anything anymore. jungkook has been dragging you out to eat more and more often, probably because you have decidedly forgotten what it means to have a healthy schedule with breaks and meals included. still, thursday is a tradition. it’s different.

except thursday isn’t usually prefaced by a wednesday night where you’ve come to the sudden realization that jeon fucking jungkook is cute.

your heart does this thing where it picks up the pace for entirely no reason at all at just the thought of jungkook’s face so close to yours, dark eyes sparkling mischievously. you have to actively force your thoughts in another direction when they wander back to the idea that jungkook is terribly, awfully handsome, exactly the kind of guy you might see in one of your many movies or dramas you’ve watched before. the kind of guy the girl always falls in love with in the end.

you shake your head near-violently, trying to get the thought out of your mind. jisoo is getting too into your head, with her jungkook and you propaganda. jungkook is annoying, a pestering brat who doesn’t meet even half the standards you have. and you have a lot of them.

(a tiny version of jisoo is in your head, happily checking off a list of standards jungkook does meet, innocent smile on her face as she ticks her way down, down, down the list.)

you suck your teeth, exasperated with yourself. you can’t be getting this fired up over some cute boy, least of all when it’s one who’s spent the better part of the past decade finding the best ways to get under your skin just for the fun of it.

with one last irritated sigh, you throw yourself back into your work, determined to think of anything but jeon jungkook. you spend hours with your eyes laser-focused on your screen, mind tunneled to think only of work.

nothing else.

“y/n.”

you don’t realize your eyes are hurting until you’ve dragged them away from your computer, landing tiredly on jungkook. he does a fairly decent job hiding his wince at the sight of your exhaustion, the results of having buried yourself ten feet under spreadsheets in a bid to avoid exactly the person standing in front of you now.

he smells good.

fuck. not this again. stop noticing attractive things about jeon jungkook, y/n.

you refocus, and that’s when you realize jungkook is shifting his weight around on his feet, one hand lightly pressing against his hair repeatedly, something he only does when he’s nervous. but he’s just coming to get you for dinner, nothing out of the ordinary, so why would he -

“i have plans today,” he says, a little too quietly. “do you need me to walk you home?”

oh.

your heart sinks in your chest inexplicably, and you know yourself well enough to recognize that it’s disappointment that’s creeping into you.

“um,” you shake your head weakly, waving him off. “no. no, i’m okay. i can walk home myself.”

he frowns, eyebrows pinching together. “are you sure?”

you laugh, a bit forced. “i’m a big girl, jeon. relax.”

you can’t stand the hesitant look on his face. like it genuinely worries him that you won’t get home safe without him, or that you’re upset he won’t be eating dinner with you tonight, like he always does. it implies something deeper, and you won’t even tiptoe past the door of that thought, never mind get close enough to slam it shut.

“use protection,” you quip instead, anxiety easing slightly when he rolls his eyes at you. you still kind of want the floor to open up and swallow you whole.

he spins your chair back to face your computer, the abruptness of the action making your head spin briefly. “bye,” he says pointedly, and while your body faces forward, your eyes can’t help but shift to watch him go, until he’s out of your sight.

it kind of stings to see him leave.

prev || next || series masterlist

taglist ; @ahundredtimesover @nadzzzblog @apollukee @codeinebelle @yoongimentita7

#jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jungkook fluff #jungkook #series: ilwl #ARE WE READY FOR THE COMEBACK???#i'm not i'll tell u that rn

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weirdsht · 2 years

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Opaque - Cale x Reader

a/n: a short drabble of me trying out 3rd person's pov and what i learned in my work immersion

Tags: female reader, hints of trauma response, dissociation, Cale needs a hug, implied dying reader, war setting

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

If there's something missing in the warnings let me know so I can add it

Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333

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Once again Cale Henistuse is the center of the war. He’s the conductor, percussion, wind, the whole orchestra. He's the center of everything and it’s all going his way.

“Is it me or is the fog getting thicker?”

As usual, poison and fog were one of their aces. Hence why the two cat tribe children are working for their food. But the fog was getting heavier compared to what they agreed to do a few days ago.

[HUMAN! HUMAN! SOMETHING’S WRONG!]

Although Raon was speaking in Cale’s head he could still hear how tired the dragon is from flying super fast to where he is. He was supposed to ask what’s the rush but the next words he hears made him stop in his tracks, no he felt as if his whole world stopped.

[__- it, it’s __! She’s hurt! Badly! On said one of the lion tribe clawed her badly! Human please you have to go to her, you’re nearer than the saint!]

The baby dragon’s sobs fell deaf on the man's ears. All he could think about was how he might’ve become too cocky and low-key, expecting that there won’t be any dire casualties once again.

The commander with red blood hair felt lost. He knows what to do, his experience as team leader Kim Rook Soo made him knowledgeable about these things. He’s desensitized, he's supposed to be desensitized.

But no, instead his mind was frozen. Cale’s body might be moving and fighting but his mind was blank. The only thing occupying it was a record of that dreaded day when he became team leader. A record that he wants to forget but can’t and won’t. The record that pulls itself out of the records.

Luckily, Alberu Crossman was near him. Someone who has seen his Kim Rok Soo side was there to wake him up.

“Go”

One word whispered between the sworn brothers was enough.

That one word was enough to send Cale bolting to where ___ is. He was determined to keep her alive, to let nothing happen to her. He already made so many mistakes as Kim Rok Soo that resulted in him losing a lot. But he promised to himself that this time- this time will be different.

#lotfc #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #cale henituse #lcf #lotcf #totcf #alberu crossman #tcf x reader #lcf x reader #cale x reader #cale henituse x reader #tw.trauma

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sabrinariverdalefan · 1 year

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I’ve got my eye on you

Xavier Thorp / Original Character

“I’m Xavier by the way.” The tall lanky boy released her arm and took a step back. He didn’t want to seem to intimidating to the girl, but she seemed anything but.

“Elizabeth…but you already knew that.” She said with an arch of an eyebrow “Let me guess you overheard me.”

Xavier looked down at the ground “I didn’t mean to I was just…” What was he even wanting to say to her? “You weren’t joking about that being an addicts anonymous meeting were you?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked up at Xavier with what he thought was pity perhaps? “No. I’m an addict. Just got back from rehab after overdosing a while back…”

For some reason the only drugs that he thought she was doing was pot, but who overdoses from weed? “What…erm…did you overdose on?” He asked feeling immediately that this was a lot more serious than he had expected.

“Fuck…what don’t i take. I was on oxy, xany bars, hydros…Adderall.” Just speaking about it gave her the urge to reach into her pocket to grab her stash, afraid that it would suddenly disappear. “…Fentanyl…”

“Jesus…” Xavier said as he ran his hand through his drenched locks. She looked so lost to him and it tugged at something in his heart - what kind of life was she living to feel the need to get that high.

“Yeah…I kind of was in a coma for six days.” The blonde answered awkwardly as she played with the baggy of pills in her pocket.

The urge to just grab her and wrap his arms around her was so overwhelming; he didn’t want to ruin this moment with her by being affectionate. They’d have plenty of time to do all of that in the future. “Look…” Xavier began after taking a moment to let her words sink in “I know you don’t know me, but if you need someone to talk to…”

Elizabeth gave the lanky boy a sad smile. “Thanks Xavier…I’ll keep that in mind.” She replied feeling slightly awkward when she handed her phone over for him to put his number in.

Xavier loved hearing his name coming from her lips. It sent this spark through him that he couldn’t explain. He typed in his number and saved the contact as ‘Xavi’, a nickname those close to him used. Elizabeth in turn put her number in his phone with a nickname not too many people were allowed to use - Lilabet.

Elizabeth looked at the time on her phone before she returned it to her pocket. “I gotta get going. It was nice seeing you again and learning your name?”

He watched as she disappeared from sight unable to take his eyes off her until he could no longer see her. “Don’t worry Lilabet I’m here to save YOU.”

The next time he saw her was no accident.

Unknown to Elizabeth he turned on her location sharing when he added his number to her phone. Not to be weird but to be aware of where she was. There was nothing wrong with that certainly. It was only natural that he wanted to be worried; she had said so herself that she was an addict. She would see how much she could rely on him. How he could truly care for her. Elizabeth was everything he wanted. ‘My eyes are only on you.’

Xavier often checked the location in the days that followed and it was typical. From school, to the Weathervane and a couple houses that he decided had to be hers and her dealers, she didn’t go about much. This night however, he tracked her to a new house and immediately he found himself sitting up in his bed. Earlier when he was volunteering at the cafe he had heard the townie kids talking about a big party happening that night - of course she would be there.

Before he could control his urges he was dressed and waking up Ajax who even though annoyed at first was completely fine going to a party. It had started out with just the two of them but then they ran into Wednesday who for some reason his friend invited her to tag along. Even though the Addams girl initially seemed uninterested, she followed the two boys into town.

Following the girls shared location they ended up at a party unlike what they have at Nevermore. The place was crawling with drunken normie teens. Ajax didn’t hesitate when they walked through the door. Wednesday upon entering the house looked around in distaste. definitely not amused by what she considered idiotic behavior. Xavier couldn’t care less as they made their way through the crowd - no one seemed to notice that they didn’t belong. The only exception was his female counterpart who stuck out like a sore thumb with her black clothing and death stare. His mind was elsewhere as he searched the room for Elizabeth.

There sitting on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table was the object of his obsession. A powder substance lined in near little rows on a small mirror as the blonde held a rolled up dollar bill in her hand. Eyes heavily lidded and a dazed look upon her face, Xavier could immediately tell that the girl was doped behind comprehension and there she was snorting line after like of whatever the powder was in front of her.

Leaning back against the couch after the last line was gone, Elizabeth could feel her heartbeat get slower and slower. shit - she hated it when that happened. Is she having a heart attack? Is this it? With eyes closed and a look of peace on her face, she waited for a moment and before she took that same rolled up dollar to snort an upper to keep herself out of the ground. Once she came back to herself she let out a laugh as she grabbed her bottle of Bud Lite and chugged it down not even noticing the door lanky boy watching her from across the room. Unsteadily she gets up to take herself to the bathroom.

‘Perfect’ Xavier thought as he separated from Ajax and Wednesday, following the girl down the hall to see where she goes.

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thrope fanfic #wednesday netflix #wednesday fanfic #fanfic #fiction writing

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dickandballsdotgov · 2 years

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carrd

I got the picrew from @girlcockdotgov !!!

Redone intro post time!!!

What's up epic gamers I'm Grey or Vira! I don't care much which name you use because I like them both a lot! I'm 16 and vibing out here

My pronoun preference order is she/he/it/any others. Any others means that if you find any neo/xenopronouns that you think might fit, use those! I generally don't have a huge preference except that you don't use they/them pronouns!

Ok there will be some more under the cut for those who want to truly learn ab me but dni time! Dni: terfs, homophobes, ect, if you believe in narc abuse, if you demonize any mental conditions, if you're pro-endogenic, MAPs/pedos, product/company blogs(except manscaped), taylor swift fans, and kpop blogs(terfs and pedos kys challenge💞)(kpop stan blogs not fans I think the music is pretty lit too)

I might violate your dni and if I do I'm sorry! Just lmk and I'll unfollow/unlike/delete the rb/whatever needs to be done!

Cut time! See you on the other side!

(Individual details will be separated by color) Okok so um about me...

I really really love music it is actually my life and oftentimes acts as a lens I view/navigate the world through. I have never met a single person as insane about music in any form as I am. This is my main personality trait and is inescapable I will inevitably try to indoctrinate you into listening to my music taste. I'm amab aka a dick and balls haver!! Very cool I usually present like a typical guy and like doing so but I also love femininity just as much! I'm a kind of big sports guy but not in the basketball bro or football dad way. I love anything related to cross country, track and field, swimming, diving, and lifting weights! I do all of these except diving competitively and lifting(as of now only cause i dont have a car or drivers license). I commonly consume content related to these on YouTube cause I always like learning more. My favorite twitch streamer is AstralSpiff! He's very cool I need to start posting about him and liveblogging streams because nobody is doing it like him or his chat.

Okok about me section over but I will elaborate if you ask!!

The sillies:

@bl00dyskies

@courtofclover

@monko-donko

@prettyboysmlm

@precambrianhottopic

@dogmoonphenomenon

@ollieollieoxenfreeee

@gayseball

@girlcockdotgov (HI HI HI HELO)

Umm I will add to this list as needed.