#i need to practice dramatic lighting more often lol

[tyunslvr]

are you sure?

you just can’t seem to believe that your boyfriend likes you as much as you like him.

pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader

feat. yeonjun, and chaewon and yunjin of le sserafim!

genre: fluff, slight angst(?)

warnings: mentions of alcohol, cursing (like one word lol)

w/c: 1.3k

a/n: uhhh it’s been a while since i've posted anything. this one has made it out of my (many) drafts. i hope you like it!!

something's missing.

beomgyu may be a little drunk right now, but he knew that something was not right - something fundamentally important was missing.

just what was it? he did his best to think, though the alcohol in his system made it difficult to focus; the booming bass of the music coming from the nearby speakers was definitely not making it any easier.

beomgyu's eyes wandered through the sea of people hazily, before coming to a sudden halt at the sight of a particular person. a feeling of relief washed over him, a smile involuntatrily forming on his face.

you. that's what was missing.

albeit the dim lighting, and his slightly blurred vision, beomgyu was certain of one thing: you were breath taking.

“damn, who’s that gorgeous girl over there?”

“beomgyu. that’s literally your girlfriend.”

"my girlfriend?" beomgyu gasped dramatically, placing his hands over his mouth in so-called shock.

yeonjun sighed, rolling his eyes. "here we go again" he muttered, watching as beomgyu's gaze followed you as you manoeuvred through crowds of people before joining your friends.

"how much have you drank already? i swear just an hour ago you were moping around because of some fight you had with y/n"

"i fought with her? i would never!" beomgyu slurred, his brows furrowing, trying to recall when he would've ever done such a thing with you.

"yeah, yeah. no more alcohol for you."

the last place you wanted to be at right now was yeonjun's party. you and beomgyu had been bickering more often lately; that boy was driving you crazy. the disagreements were never that serious, but you felt frustrated at how easily you'd give in to beomgyu. this time, you decided that you weren't going to let him win like always. in attempt to to do this, you had decided to avoid beomgyu for a while - not seeing his face would make things so much easier. your plan was going so well this week - until you were dragged to his bestfriend's party by your own friends.

"come on, y/n! stop looking all stressed out!" chaewon giggled, clearly tipsy, as she placed a cup in your hand.

you peered inside the cup, deciding against drinking the questionable murky liquid. "how can i not be stressed? i told you i don't want to see beomgyu right now" you sighed, placing the cup back down on the kitchen counter.

"i don't get why. you said you don't even remember what you argued about" yunjin mused.

"yeah, well..." you mumbled in response.

"you need to stop pushing beomgyu away, y/n. that boy is literally head over heels for you!" yunjin huffed exasperatedly as chaewon nodded in agreement.

as much as you didn't want to admit it, yunjin was right. in all honesty, you just wanted to take a break from your feelings for beomgyu; they were almost overwhelming these days. you couldn't help but doubt if he really liked you as much as your friends say; if he actually felt the same way about you as you did about him.

like, c'mon, the choi beomgyu was your boyfriend. practically everyone at college knew who he was. it was inevitable, really - with his good looks and charming personality, he was bound to be popular.

being his friend, you would've never of guessed that beomgyu felt anything for you. you could hardly believe when he clumsily asked you to be his girlfriend, blushing and stumbling on his own words. it was still hard to believe a month into the relationship, seeds of doubt planted in your mind by your own self: so many people like him. he could have anyone; someone prettier, someone smarter than me. in all truth, this was why you were avoiding him; taking silly little squabbles as a chance to run away from your insecurities.

"speak of the devil" chaewon whispered loudly, pulling at your arm. "he's coming this way right now!"

"and that's my cue to go find the bathroom-"

"what? c'mon, just talk to him-"

"you better not tell him where i'm going!'"

and with that, you started pushing through swarms of people, hoping that you were going towards the general direction of the bathroom, or any room you could hide for a bit in, really.

"y/n!"

shit. judging by the fact that you could actually hear him over the loud music and people's chatter, he had already caught up to you. screw him and his long legs.

this didn't deter you though; you kept pushing through people, opening the first door you came across-

-which just happened to be the door to the back garden.

"y/n-" beomgyu burst through the door just seconds after you, breathing heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

"i don't want to talk beomgyu" you stated as firmly as you could, not turning to look at him "come any closer and i will scale one of these fences."

you could almost hear him stifle a laugh before proceeding to clear his throat. "look, i'll admit that i'm a little drunk right now. but i'm sorry, for whatever it is i did to make you mad the other day"

"...i'm not even mad about that. i don't even remember what you did" you laughed bitterly - even you thought you sounded ridiculous.

"then tell me what's wrong?" beomgyu grabbed your wrist gently, pulling you so you were facing him. you looked up at him reluctantly, knowing the sight of him was going to melt away all your resolve.

and you were right. as soon as your eyes met his, you felt your breath catch in your throat. the way the moonlight cast a silver halo on his dark hair, the way it illuminated his features - you couldn't help but think he looked angelic. his furrowed brows, his soft pout as he looks at you with concern - he's so pretty it hurts.

"are...are you sure you like me?" you blurted out, regretting the words before they even left your mouth.

beomgyu blinked in confusion for a few seconds, before throwing his head back, laughter erupting from his throat.

"i'm being serious! out of all people, why me-"

"what do you mean, why me?" he stated, his tone indicating how incredulous he found your question to be.

"i mean, have you seen yourself?"

beomgyu's smile faltered. "i should be the one asking that" he mumbled, his eyes never leaving yours.

"i don't get it" you whispered back, feeling yourself recoil under his gaze.

"you can be so stupid sometimes, y/n" beomgyu murmured as he took a step closer, closing the distance between the two of you. he bent his head lower, until his forhead was resting on yours, his hand placing yours on his chest.

"do you feel that?" he whispered, his warm breath fanning your face, increasing the blood flow to your aleady-blushing cheeks. silence enveloped the both of you as you stood there feeling his hammering heartbeat, your own increasing by the second.

"only you do this to me. you make me feel like my heart's literally going to jump out of my chest"

"...that could just be the alcohol" you whispered back, laughing weakly.

"no way. chasing after you and now standing out here in the freezing cold has been very sobering" he said, a grin forming on his face again.

"i-i'm gonna ask you about this tomorrow"

"sure" beomgyu chuckled, moving his forehead away from yours and cupping your face with his hands, gently tucking some loose strands of your hair behind your ears.

"and when you forget tomorrow, i'm gonna-" you were interrupted by beomgyu's soft lips briefly on yours, the shock of the kiss making your words dissipate in your mouth.

"sorry. you just looked so pretty" he whispered, moving his hands from your face and to your waist. "and ask me tomorrow, the day after, in a 100 years. my answer will be the same."

you threw your arms around his neck in response, melting into his embrace. “you win again, gyu” you mumbled, smiling into his neck as he wrapped his arms around you tighter.

#txt #beomgyu x reader #txt imagines #beomgyu #taehyun #soobin #choi yeonjun #hueningkai #tomorrow x together #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x you #txt x y/n #txt beomgyu #txt taehyun #txt soobin #txt yeonjun #txt x reader #txt x you #beomgyu ff #kpop imagines #kpop #kpop ff #beomgyu imagines #choi beomgyu imagines #beomgyu scenarios #yeonjun #txt fluff #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu oneshot

[metfell]

honestly heres my little hot take but i dont like those palette challenges and request games. i think that too often artists will just colorpick directly from the palettes given and the resulting art feels flat and unfinished. i think that when using those palette challenges you should at least try playing around with those colors a bit more.

like okay. this one i pulled randomly off of pinterest for example (BY THE WAY. FOUND THE SOURCE. its striped-tie on dA as far as i can tell) :

great groups of colors. lots of variety. but what happens when we turn the saturation all the way down and we look at the VALUES of the colors:

you have to understand that this does not apply to every palette challenge, nor does this critique apply to every palette within this one challenge. but notice how so many of these are either only lights, or only mid tones, or only darks?

your art needs (READ: subjectively, though quite often) highlights, lowlights, AND mid tones. it helps draw attention to where the viewers eye should be looking. and when every tone is right around the same light level, this makes it hard for the viewer to distinguish where in the piece they need to look and what is considered most important.

however, what looking at these palettes in black and white removes is the way colors can act as focal points, and i'm aware of that. so let's look at one from this list that does this effectively. sorry for the quality here lol.

so this is a palette i think does a good job. we can look at it in black and white as well to check for the values:

you will notice how this palette has a dark tone, a darker mid tone, a lighter mid tone, and two highlights. within these highlights, the yellow stands out dramatically. this is a great way to practice color, lighting, and how using blue hued grays and one warm hue can create an interesting and contrasting color composition.

i don't know, i really just wish when artists used these palettes that they played around more with the colors in those palettes themselves, because sometimes i see artists who are INCREDIBLY SKILLED with drawing fumble when grabbing these because they dont quite understand color theory and how it works.

POST NOTICE: personal opinion on palettes and color theory. if you enjoy using these and you find them helpful to you then go for it. this post is not crafted with intent to blow up, this post is made for me to ramble about palettes and thus the argument is not very strong because it has not been proofread more than once.

#text

[heinzpilsner]

Some more (supposedly unpopular) thoughts on Zuko's image in atla

'cause apparently that's what I think about these days, geez

Okay, so, I'm not a great expert in style or character design or anything obviously, but I have some general theoretical ideas about it.

Here they are, basically:

1) In practice, attempts to "soften severe features" with, well, soft decorations more often than not make potentially attractive people to look just meh;

2) When you can't hide some feature, it makes more sense to incorporate it as an organic part of your overall image (yes, Zuko's scar, I'm talking about you);

3) Good man doesn't necessary have to look all soft and fluffy to remain a good man. If softness of decoration collides with character's constitution, it makes the audience more emotionally confused than anything, even if just subconsciously (e.g., thoughts like "So, he's a good guy now, but I am less attracted to him than before. Does it mean that I find good guys less hot in general?". ... Yes, it was surprisingly specific. And no, I'm not gonna elaborate.)

If we go all back to beginning though, originally, 13-year-old Zuko's elegant facial features allowed him to go in many different directions with his style.

... That's until Ozai made this choice for him permanently, oh dear that's the one way to put it.

Actually, Zuko was kinda lucky with his scar's shape (considering all the possible alternatives): it ended up looking more like a warpaint or a Bowie-like face decoration than a disfigurement it is wow, almost as if it was specifically designed by professionals with this exact tought in mind lol. And while I totally understand the human in-character desire to hide it behind hair, from the stylistic point of view, that's exactly what Zuko shouldn't do. With such a face, all attempts to avoid people's attention will only lead to the opposite effect.

Also, to hide the scar behind some fringes means to hide Zuko's overall striking features as well, which is a freaking crime against aestetics, if you ask me. His face bears so much more potential than that.

So, what I'm trying to say is this: paradoxically, Zuko manages to look good (yes, good) with supposedly "awful" season 1 haircut, and just meh with supposedly "sexy" season 3 haircut. Because "awful" haircut, while pretty eccentric, opens his features, turns the scar from a weakness into a strengh, and hence translates more character in a harmonic way, apparently.

While later-season-3 Zuko doesn't exactly look bad either (which is especially true when animators make a deliberate effort to depict him extra pretty for dramatic scenes lol I'm not blind guys), he mostly looks... unimpressive? Actually, more often than not he reminds me of a shaggy puppy that just made a puddle nearby, lol. Alternatively, he looks like some simple guy next door - kinda cute then a light hits right, but nothing special. And although I can understand the general thought behind this choice (symbolic humbling as well as he-needs-his-hair-to-wear-the-crown-in-universe-logical), "cute simple guy" is exactly what Zuko isn't. And no, bryke, he's not an emo boy either. He can be awkward turtleduck sometimes, yes, but never someone ordinary. His whole appearance was initially created with this idea in mind.

So, "Bad prince with awful haircut" vs "Good prince with sexy haircut" lens helps to keep things in simple boxes, of course, but there's so much more nuance to Zuko's appearance than that, for better or for worse.

So... ponytail rights again, yay! Gods, I need more season 1 au zutara

(Btw... Am I the only person who remembers what Katara canonically kinda defended Zuko's ponytail to Sokka? And they were enemies back then! I mean, you may think she has a bad taste if you like, but the fact remains).

... Lee-the-refugee-before-the-Jasmine-Dragon haircut is my fav though. But just like all the good things in Zuko's life, it couldn't last long, could it? (Ouch, negligent shagginess looks nice on Jet, but it doesn't do many favors for Zuko's high-contrast aristocratic beauty. I kinda hated it, honestly.)

/typing all this on my phone from memory also without trusty google translator, so yep, no pictures. just my blunt words in poor english with no evidence for you to call me on my bullshit lol.

Also, I have no idea how people react to my posts, or whether they react at all. Ignoring tumblr notifications kinda helps me to keep my sanity intact, lol. But if you found this amateur-and-totally-subjective analysis of mine interesting for some reason... Thanks for your attention, I guess?

... But why I have this sinking feeling what I potentially managed to offend 2/3 of the fandom for completely different reasons without even trying? Lol, whatever./

#atla #zuko #ponytail rights #mum look i'm designer now

[monakisu]

hi!!!! i really really love your art and it's been a really big inspiration for me lately ^_^ i just wanted to ask if you'd be okay with maybe going through your usual art process?? every time i try to draw i just end up getting frustrated since i never know where to start 💔if this is too much to ask for feel free to ignore me and i hope you're doing well regardless!!! 💕

thank you for such a sweet ask wow what the heck ૮(꒦ິཅ꒦ິ)ა❤️🌈 i hope you’re well too and i’ll gladly share my process!! i love oversharing anyways….!!! (although i often dont know where to start and it takes weeks for me to gather up the energy to even start aufhijfjghhh)

💖CRITICAL STEP before i do anything at all: surf pinterest for inspo!! 💞💕 it can be inspo for art styles, ideas, or just ~vibes~ (if that makes sense lol?? 😸) but ever since i started actually sorting my boards my feed has become a lot more colorful and cute and inspiring…! 😸😸 i especially like seeing all the unconventional art styles on there!! it’s where my cartoony-ish style originated from ( •ૢ⚈͒⌄⚈͒ •ૢ)💖💓🌸🌷🍃

sometimes i come across a post on twitter that i GOTTA manifest into a drawing, so even though twitter is very rancid and negative, it can be good! sorta!! but yeah i try to start out drawing with a solid idea of what i wanna do in mind, or else it’ll just end up being a generic right-facing 3/4 portrait LMAOoo…….. 🤠👍

❤️colors: generally i will give up after i have a sketch and slither off to binge horror novels, but RARELY i might proceed onto the coloring stage… i have this disorder in which i need to maximize the vibrancy of every pixel on my screen or i’ll Die. 🪦(ɷ ꒪ཀ꒪)ɷ for shadows, i rarely use black unless i reallyyy need to; i just do dark purple! 🦄💜🔮🪄 for highlights, i never go for pure white; usually it’s cream or neon yellow, but sometimes skin will have these little light green spots to stand out (this is actually a color theory thing i learned from oil painting… green vs. red!) 😸🍏🤝🍎😸

🧡overlay: i have at least 2 different layers set to overlay, so i can augment color vibrancy EVEN MORE and make things ✨glowy✨ like a 💥flash bomb💥!! on my first overlay layer, i go over dark colors with either dark brown or dark purple, set to a very very low opacity (practically transparent) to make things DRAMATIC, and then lose all my marbles on highlights at regular opacity!! my other overlay layer is for me to go crazy with the rosette brush, which looks like those comic book dotsies! ٩(๑′∀ ‵๑)۶•*¨*•.¸¸♪

💚touch-ups: after i’ve given up on my drawing and accepted that this is the most i can do, i proceed to do even more to it by slapping filters on it in picsart and picmonkey. my go-to filters in each app:

💙picsart: indie 2, usually set at 30% (it makes colors EVEN MORE NEON as if they weren’t eye-searing enough QAQ💧). i used to bypass their dumb af membership thing to access their gorgeousss glitch filter for my backgrounds, BUT THEY REMOVED THE ABILITY TO SCREENSHOT INSIDE THE APP so i hate picsart lol 😸🫶 indie 2 slaps fat cheeks tho

💜picmonkey: my true love!! they don’t hide their BEST FILTERS behind pretentious subscriptions 😁 okay i’ll stop complaining… 😁😁 so much Good Kush in this thing like lux, lightleak (makes things purple and glitchy!), splendor, lush…

💖and then i’m done FOR REALS and i post it and i don’t draw for 3 weeks while i writhe in guilt nyahaha (ง˙∇˙)ว=͟͟͞͞➳❥

i hope this helps!!

#mailbox 💌

[sxcret-garden]

nr 6 for ateez 😝

<<333

6. What song I love my bias the most in.

I'm gonna do all biases because nobody can stop me and I'll start with San because among the three I have the least amount of thoughts for him ksdfjskfjas (sorry... also this is under the cut because..... you'll see kasdjflkdöas)

ok first of all... mist. his voice sounds so soft in the entire song and he's singing this so well??? also in arriba his short line right before the last chorus sounds SOOO good, i really love his voice when he sings with that energy!!! another song that just has to be mentioned here is turbulence, he's so dramatic in the second chorus but i think that's what made me notice his voice especially in this song!! also inception, because of the vocals, but also because of his choreo in the chorus!!!!! (to mention choreo once in the entire post lol)

I'm semi-normal about wooyoung's parts, so I'll do him next aksdjfklsa and i just want to say celebrate. like????? the very first time i heard that song my immediate reaction to his parts was that they need to let him sing like that more often!!!! he sounds SO GOOD there????? and when he gets the right lines you can actually hear that this guy has a lot of power in his voice (idk, i tend to notice this especially in songs where the first time a line appears they give it to jongho and then the second time wooyoung sings it, like the comparison just makes it so clear how much energy woo has in his voice when used right!!) idk i've been dying to say this somewhere and i WILL say it again so!!!!!!! (alsoalso to mention choreo a second time - the lil butt shake in crazy form, like that's so him and so cute and he looks so happy doing it too 🥺)

now for jongho.... the answer is every song ever but i'll try to single some out (brace yourselves because i will not shut up anytime soon) askdfjklas and i'm gonna start with silver light because i'm listening to it right now and like... his adlibs in the end plsssssssss i love them so much!!! and OF COURSE i also have to mention this world because omgggggg he sounds so good in the chorus hhhhh (in general i am absolutely IN LOVE with how they use their voices throughout that album, and his especially - part of why it's my fav album of theirs!!) ok but the song that actually came to mind first for him is also celebrate, because have you heard his adlibs at the end? have you HEARD them????????? this guy is actually insane. i also wanna mention don't stop because he barely gets lines on the lower end and... yeah, ouch aksdljfksjadlk i also feel the need to mention cyberpunk here... but i'm thinking of that one stage they did on music bank especially, because this guy sounds even better live and everytime he does that one high note i ascend to whatever heavens there may or may not be aksdjfklsad and before i shut up i'm gonna remind you all that he was on lee mujin service (i am begging you to watch it if you haven't yet) and i cannot put into words how much i love his cover of don't go today, i'm really not a ballad type of person but holy shit... yeah.. just watch it.... (idk i just get so happy listening to him sing and Do His Thing and go a lil insane with it because he's just THAT good and knowing that he's put so many years of work and practice into building that skill is really admirable to me and also kinda motivates me to work hard on the things i enjoy too so :/ ilovehimokbye)

(also the much needed honorable mention: yeosang in halazia. he's not a bias but used to be so it counts aksdjflksa no but seriously if kq doesn't let him have more lines that are actually in his range i will throw hands.)

send me a number and a group~

#yes i love how even in a casual ramble i struggle to stay coherent when it's about choi jongho and not just when im trying to write a fic #his part took me so long to write and not just because it's the longest but my brain just blanks out every 2 seconds.... #as a friend of mine once said... shit is hard #anyway thank u for coming to my infodump skdfjölksajfkdas #(is it an infodump if it's just my personal opinion....? i wonder) #EITHER WAY thank you for sending me that ask and letting me ramble hehe 🫶 #yes i didn't mention everything on purpose - i love that song too and i especially love how it showcases a majority of his range but #ig i had more to say about other songs... welp now i mentioned it after all askdfjlksd #ask game #answered

[cadrenebula]

How many OCs do you currently have? If you have multiple OCs then how different are they from each other? How often do you create new ones?

Currently? 13 actual developed OCs. (I've still got to toss together profiles for Nebula and Ronove on carrd tho.)

At least 15 supporting characters. Meaning ones I'm not actively RPing cause they're just supporting cast for my OCs and won't do anything other than help plot things along as needed. Or they were created to avoid retcons. So they are available for a scene here or there as needed but not much beyond that. They're mostly for my own writing (or screenshot) purposes unless I need them for a plot point.

I don't plan on adding to my 13 anytime soon though. But we all know I'm terrible at promising not to. XD Ronove was unplanned but then he said I was keeping him. I don't add new ones too often. If they do get added it's usually because they were originally plot characters that I got attached to. Which is the case for Lancefer, Alexois, Asher, and Ronove. XD So it's only happened 4 times. That's not -that- often. An the first three were added years ago now. Ronove and Nebula were literally the last to be added and I wasn't sure I was even going to list Ronove here for the fact he's a voidal.

An boy do these characters vary! I cover a lot of bases with these OCs. (Okay I'll stop trying to be funny. XD LOL)

Destiney is a Shroudling mother and wife. She's warm and caring and very nature oriented. Very much a momma wolf who practically adopts everyone she likes into her Found Family. Stefan, is practically his twin's opposite. They were meant to be that way. He tends to keep people at arm's length and dabbles in things he shouldn't. He's the darkness to her light. But he'd do anything for his sister. Lancefer is the noble white knight who tries to remain good and kind despite all that he faces as the black sheep of his family. Tries to be a good big brother and cousin. Alexois is a villain in name only, an assassin for hire and hails from the lowest rungs of society who has turned his life around and works hard at being a better person. Valen is a pure ray of sunshine and good cheer who tries to lift the spirits of others without being dragged down by those said people. Traveling minstrel and bounty hunter. Marielle is a dragon stuck in elezen form by a curse and navigating a world she barely understands. Alfarinn is a intimidating looking brute with a soft heart beneath that beserker's rage. Looking for payback for the death of his lover. Keaira is a upbeat spunky ball of pink with a desire to explore the world and help people all while seeking challenges to make her stronger. Adelena is nicknamed the Frost Siren for a reason. She is cold and distant pirate of the Sanguine Sirens but is much warmer towards her sisters than others. Asher is a sky pirate with a weak spot for kids in similar situations to his when he was younger. He's a mischief maker and a tinker of machines. Eventually he's going to have a reckoning with his older brother. Aryn is a gremlin in disguise (not literally XD It's just his general behavior towards his circus family). He's a aerial dancer for a circus troupe and a trained Sage. A bit dramatic and obsessed with clothes. Nebula is a soft spoken mage from the deep woods of the Shroud, next in line to lead their clan when their mother steps down, a descendant from those who survived the fall of the three mage cities. Just traveling the world to learn more about the people outside of their clan. Ronove was my first attempt to make a voidal character. Exploring the madness of what it was like to be fresh from the void and under the control of a stronger voidal with an iron grip on him. Abused and tortured for over a thousand years and trying to find his way in a world that is mostly alien to him now. Now he's Stefan's partner in the plot to put an end to the voidsent trying to see them both dead.

Phew. Yeah they're all pretty different and come from varying walks of life. Thanks for the ask @furys-mercy

[quippso]

imagine being stan and going into the basement and finding your brother’s creepy study

#stan pines #bill cipher #gravity falls #was pretty happy with how this turned out #i need to practice dramatic lighting more often lol #gf #old art

[tsumune]

more than enough

pairing: gn!reader x suna rintarou

synopsis: suna feels insecure about what he offers in your relationship, and after seeing how excited you get listening to your friend talk about the extravagant things her boyfriend does for her, he decides to try something himself.

tags: angst?? to fluff (just slight angst)

suna comes home from practice to find the house silent. that’s odd, he thinks to himself as he looks for you. his muscles hurt, he’s sore, and a small part of him is irritated that dinner isn’t ready, but all those thoughts are wiped from his head when he turns on the lights in the bedroom and finds you fast asleep, your eyebrows creased together and your nose slightly red as if you had just cried.

“y/n? what’s wrong, are you okay?” suna softly shakes you awake.

“mm.. rin? ah, what time is it?” your first thought when you wake is to look at the clock, and to your horror it’s already 8PM. “oh no, rin i’m so sorry i didn’t make dinner yet. i’ll go make some now-”

“hey no, it’s okay. tell me what’s wrong first, were you crying?”

“it’s not a big deal rin. don’t worry about me, but you need to eat.”

suna’s own eyebrows crease at this. “why are you so intent on getting me to eat?”

you look at him with confusion, as if the answer was obvious. “because your game is coming up soon, rin. you have to keep your body healthy and not worry about other things.”

suna frowns at this. he knows he’s not the most expressive boyfriend, but he cares about you so much and wants you to know you’re not second to the other things in his life, no matter how busy he gets. “just because i have a game coming up doesn’t mean i’ll ignore you. tell me.”

he’s taken aback by the sudden tears filling your eyes, and in a panic his hands quickly wrap around your figure. “i got yelled at by my boss... i don’t want to lose this job, rin.”

“shh, you won’t baby. you’re doing so well, one mistake doesn’t define you.” you calm down as suna continues holding you in his arms and smoothing your hair, and the both of you enjoy some takeout and your favourite movie after you relax. but suna can’t shake the heavy feeling in his chest that you were bottling up your feelings in an effort to not worry him, and the guilt that his first thought when he came home was that you didn’t make dinner. it worries him even more.

days have passed since the night you broke down, but suna still feels a bit tense. he won his game, and in celebration you asked if he wanted to go out with your friends. in truth, he just wanted to make you feel better, but you hadn’t brought up the topic since that night, so he decides going out and forgetting about everything might be a good thing. as the night goes on though, his heart only feels heavier.

“and then, he opened the trunk and there were bouquets of flowers and balloons in there!”

suna watches your eyes light up as your friend talks about the latest dramatic gesture her boyfriend did for her. he used to internally roll his eyes at this and think he was being over the top, but looking at how happy your friend was talking about him and how excited it seemed to make you feel, he wonders if you ever smile that brightly when you tell your friends about him. actually, do you talk to your friends about him at all? does he do anything that warrants a story like this? suna isn’t sure if he can remember. sure, you go out for anniversary dinners, but everyone does that, don’t they? if you don’t go to him for comfort, and he doesn’t plan big surprises for you... what does he do for you?

“rin. rinnie. rintarou!” suna snaps back to attention at your voice combined with the flick to his forehead.

“ow!” you laugh, and that was enough to ease a bit of suna’s worries. he decides he’ll take some (albeit dramatic) inspiration from your friend’s boyfriend, and step up his antics so that he can hear that laugh more often.

“can i open my eyes now?”

“no wait, not yet,” suna drags you a bit farther. “okay, now you can.”

you open your eyes, and to your surprise, your bed is decorated with flowers in the shape of a heart. you can’t stop the laugh that bursts out of you.

“rin, what is this,” you wipe your eyes as you laugh. “since when were you so corny?”

suna feels his heart drop at your comment. he worked hard on this. he thought you would like it, thought it would be something he could do for you. thought it would put him up there on the good boyfriend list next to your friend’s boyfriend.

“rin, why did you use whole flowers with the stems still on? don’t people usually just use the petals? silly guy.” you say cheekily, thinking to tease your boyfriend for his random cute act a bit. you admit it’s a bit odd coming from suna, but it’s endearing in a clumsy way, and you appreciated it. but when you turn around to face him, suna’s head is turned to the ground and he looks unexpectedly serious.

“sorry if you don’t like it. just thought i’d do something different for a change,” he says through gritted teeth before leaving to the living room.

“hey rin, wait!” you try to catch his arm as he goes, but he just shakes you off. “rin? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to dismiss your work like that. i was just kidding.” instead of responding, suna plants himself facedown on the couch.

you start to worry. “rin? are you okay? can you talk to me about it.” silence. “rin... i talked to you last time. can you talk to me too, please?”

at this, suna turns his head. this time, it’s your turn to be surprised at the uncommon sight of his glossy eyes. “i just wanted to be a good boyfriend... you didn’t come to me last time you were hurt, and then i saw how excited you were when your friend talked about her boyfriend’s stupid surprises... i thought you would be happy if i did more of those things too.”

“oh rin.” you sigh and climb onto the sofa, softly squishing him. your hands cup his face and you stare into his eyes, neither of you moving until suna gives in. “what?”

“you’re more than enough for me, rin.” suna has heard these words countless times before. you’ve said them to him often, and in his heart he knows you’ve always felt this way, but with the recent events and mix of emotions he’s experiencing, he feels like he’s been knocked off his feet and swept away by the undeniable love in them. “you don’t have to do the things you see others do, i love you just the way you are. you don’t have to change yourself for me, rin, you’re already everything i could wish for as is. you’re sweet and attentive and always put me first, i’m aware of that, and you show me you care in the little things, like what you just tried.” suna’s eyes shift to the side in embarrassment at the thought of the flowers still sitting on your shared bed. “i wouldn’t mind if you never did that again, but i also wouldn’t mind if you wanted to try again. and i promise i’ll take you seriously. just use only petals next time,” you playfully pinch your boyfriend on the nose, and this time he laughs with you.

the two of you head back to the room to pick up the flowers and put them in a vase (suna was beet red the whole time), and then lay down on the bed to cuddle. after a while, suna turns to you.

“promise me you’ll talk to me if you ever feel upset again,” you open your mouth and suna already knows what you’re about to say, “i know. i know i’m not the best at it either, but i’ll try harder too. you just really had me worried.”

“i didn’t want to worry you before your game.”

“yeah, and i was worried what it meant that you didn’t want to talk to me. so your plan backfired,” he pouted.

“okay okay,” you laugh with a defeated sigh. “from now on, better communication. pinky promise.”

“what are you, five?” suna scoffs, before connecting your pinkies together. “pinky promise.”

a/n: methinks this could’ve been executed better but i just wanted to write something lol might rewrite/reuse the premise of this idea sometime

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hurt comfort #suna x reader

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows imagine #six of crows netflix #six of crows show #soc #soc imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone show #grishaverse #grisha #grishavers x reader #grishaverse imagine

[bloodraven55]

I saw a post recently where someone else analysed how Luz's love language is acts of service and Amity's is physical affection, and it got me thinking so in light of today's incredible episode I want to do some serious digging into Luz's feelings for Amity. This is probably gonna get pretty long but hey, these two are more than worth it.

I'm going to go through three key episodes for Luz and Amity's relationship so that I can properly illustrate my points, starting with Lost in Language.

First, I want to talk about how, despite the fact that Amity had been nothing but objectionable to her so far, literally all it takes for Luz to decide she wants to befriend her anyway is reading about Azura befriending Hecate in her book and seeing Amity reading to kids at the library. This clearly establishes that Luz is intrigued by Amity and willing to go out of her way to connect with her, even when Amity hasn't yet given her any particular reason to do so.

Next, let's talk about the manner in which Luz tries to save Amity from Otabin later in the same episode. This is one of the first times we see Luz attempt to be Amity's hero, as she chooses to make an unnecessarily dramatic entrance dressed as her own version of Azura, playing the role of the dashing knight come to rescue the fair maiden albeit not quite as gracefully as is usual in these stories lol. She even takes the time to doodle Amity being impressed by her performance too, introducing the idea that Amity's perception of her means a lot to Luz.

Finally for this episode, we get another example of both these things: Luz putting in a substantial effort to bond with Amity, and Luz wanting to impress Amity or get specific reactions from her. After impulsive plan to get them away from Otabin works, Luz finds the time to be a good even when they're running for their lives and actually manages to make Amity laugh which was an impressive feat at that point tbh, looking extremely pleased when her comment is received positively.

These next two moments provide a neat link to the next episode I want to discuss, Adventures in the Elements, so I'll cover them in one go. We see Luz's first Act of Service for Amity when she offers her the Azura book she's missing to show that she wants to be friends, and then when she meets Amity to get it back we see how important the gesture was for Luz. She's very eager to hear Amity's thoughts, loves it when she finds the fanart Amity drew, and in general it's just obvious that this was another attempt to impress Amity on Luz's part.

This only continues as Luz proudly proclaims that she's going to join Amity's class at Hexside, even winking at her in the process, and solidifies the significance of her giving Amity the book even more by suggesting they start a club to talk about it further. Like, seriously, this entire episode is pretty much just Luz being adorably excited to share classes with Amity and flat out learning a whole new spell just to make sure it happens.

The interesting thing here, though, is that Luz gets really nervous as soon as the twins suggest they all train together, enough to lie to them in a moment of panic, and then gets super embarrassed when she sees that Amity is also practicing at the Knee. This doesn't seem to make much sense since Amity is being pretty nice by this point and not at all mocking or condescending, and Luz has given up on trying to look cool to the twins by now too. But it actually makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is another instance of Luz wanting to impress Amity and worrying about looking inept in front of her.

There's also the way that Luz is just... so clumsy and awkward around Amity in these episodes. The girl knocks a book to the floor and falls off a rock just trying to say hello, for crying out loud, complete with stammering over her words. Yeah, it's safe to say Luz is lowkey crushing on Amity here.

Don't worry, because I saved the best for last. Enchanting Grom Fright is basically the culmination of everything those two previous episodes set up. Not only do we get two Acts of Service from Luz, with her offering to face her own worst fear for Amity with zero hesitation and then happily offering to go to Grom with her so that Amity wouldn't end up alone, but she also brings out some dramatic flair when she declares herself Amity's “fearless champion,” like a knight in shining armour vowing to protect her princess although she still hasn't got the graceful part down lmao.

Plus, there's the fact that in both of their Lingering Eye Contact in Close Proximity with Romantic Tension™ moments in the episode, Luz's expression is the exact same as Amity's, wide-eyed and curious like she's not quite sure what to make of what she's feeling. And that's even before she just full on starts flirting with Amity later on. I'm sorry, but those smirks and fancy show-off moves while dancing are not remotely heterosexual, Luz.

All of this brings us to their current situation: Amity is aware of her crush on Luz but thinks that Luz only sees her as a friend, and Luz is subconsciously flirting with Amity as well as trying to show off for her and be her hero but remains fairly unaware of her crush on her and thinks that Amity likes someone else. So in conclusion, teenagers are useless, but we been knew. Rather, the point I want to end on is that there's a reason why Luz and Amity were so in sync with such amazing chemistry during their dance when they weren't talking, and it's because they both have different ways of communicating their emotions but when they let their actions speak for them they were finally on the same page albeit briefly.

tl;dr - Luz and Amity are both crushing hard on each other, they just need to realise that the other has a different way of expressing their feelings and find the courage to be honest with each other. Amity's crush is more glaringly blatant, what with all the blushing and gay panicking and wanting to ask Luz to the school dance, but Luz's crush on Amity is also pretty evident in the way she tries so hard to impress her and often steps in to help her out with grand gestures, which she never does to anywhere near the same extent with any of her other friends.

#the owl house #toh #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight #the owl house luz #the owl house amity #toh luz #toh amity #the owl house meta #toh meta #the owl house analysis #toh analysis #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers

[makeste]

but I just feel too tired to be fighting

this is a follow-up post to what I said in my recap the other day about this arc being the Deku Angst arc, as opposed to the Villain Hunt arc or the Deku SIXQUIRKS Exhibition arc. I feel like the fandom discussion tends to focus on the flashier parts of the chapters -- the sexy villains and the new quirk reveals and the Shindous -- each week, and so the quieter emotional beats sometimes get overlooked, especially since the character arc here is playing out in little bits and pieces over time rather than all at once.

this has always been a very reactionary fandom, and there’s a tendency to judge the chapters week to week without ever going back to look at how they all fit into the big picture. so I figured I would try to attempt that, and basically go chapter by chapter here to look at what exactly Horikoshi is setting up and how it all fits together.

so let’s start with the end of chapter 306, which is when the arc officially kicks off. specifically with the very last page:

this is imo one of the best pages Horikoshi has ever drawn. I got the sense that this was a scene he’d had in his mind’s eye for quite a long time, and that he was excited to finally get to this part of the story. it’s extremely effective as both a chapter-ender, and an arc-opener. like, look at this:

it establishes the initial premise of the new arc -- the world is in chaos, and Deku is now seemingly on his own

it leaves the readers with a number of questions. why did Deku leave U.A.?? is he really on his own now?? why does he look so beat-up and exhausted?? what is he up to?? what is the world like now that all these villains have been unleashed and the heroes have been decimated?? and most importantly of all, what the fuck is going to happen next??

it pays homage to some of Horikoshi’s comic book influences -- Batman in particular

it dramatically hits us with that “THE FINAL ACT BEGINS” and lets us know that shit is getting real now

that’s some good shit. so much so that I think people tended to overlook the other notable thing about this page amidst all of the initial excitement and discussion and speculation about where the series was headed. and that is the fact that the final panel in this chapter is NOT the panel of Deku standing above the city. the very last panel, the one that this chapter actually ends on, is instead the close-up of Deku’s face. his face, which is covered in shadow; and his eyes, which have dark circles under them and are prominently missing the usual flecks of light that give him his signature “sunny optimistic shounen protagonist” look.

not to mention this last line here, which is a call back to the very first time we saw the 14-year-old Deku way back in chapter one.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Horikoshi chose to throw this reference in. nor is it a coincidence that THIS is the scene he actually chose to end the chapter on. what this does is show us the drastic shift in Deku’s emotional state of mind, and his attitude towards being a hero. he’s gone from being thrilled and excited to being jaded and exhausted. he’s matured, but at a great cost. it’s always been his dream to be a hero, but “be careful what you wish for” is a popular adage for a reason. and right now he looks the furthest thing from happy.

and this is the emotional beat that Horikoshi chooses to end the chapter on. this is the panel that closes out the War arc, and begins the final act. to me the message could not be clearer -- this arc will be about the exploration of Deku’s character, and his struggle as he tries to live up to the expectations that have been placed on him as the Last Holder of OFA and quite possibly the World’s Only Hope.

it’s a character arc that builds on a lot of the things we’ve already learned about Deku over the course of the series, such as the fact that he is reckless, and that he focuses on others often at the expense of himself. but more importantly, it’s an arc that finally expands on the dark side of what has up until now been a net positive for Deku -- the power of OFA. up until this point, despite its ups and downs, it’s been a boon for Deku overall and has allowed him to pursue his dream. but now we’re finally reaching the point where the monkey’s paw part of the OFA blessing/curse finally starts to come into play. OFA gives Deku more power than he could have ever dreamed of, but it also comes with a built-in destiny that he can’t opt out of whether he likes it or not. AFO is on the loose and out there trying to destroy the world. and now everyone has pinned their hopes on this sixteen-year-old kid, and the question of whether or not the sixteen-year-old kid is ready is apparently not one that anyone feels inclined to ask (possibly because they’re afraid that the answer might be “no”).

he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. he has to do it, because there’s no one else who can. that’s the kind of pressure that is on Deku now.

and on that note, we begin the Deku Angst arc.

chapter 307

this in hindsight was mostly just a set-up chapter to better establish the current state of the BnHA world at large (spoilers: it’s not good), while also providing an answer for one of the big initial questions of the arc -- namely, “what happened to all of those villains that AFO released from Tartarus?” these are important things to touch on, but the pacing could definitely have been better, and the bulk of the chapter was dedicated to providing fanservice to all of the Shindou fans who spammed the most recent popularity poll (which, whatever lol). anyway, so this was the sole chapter thus far with absolutely no Deku development. thankfully the arc picks up from there.

chapter 308

on to the next one! this was the one and only chapter thus far which I think actually qualifies as an “exhibition fight.” this was definitely all about showing off Deku’s current powerset, as well as introducing us to another of the SIXQUIRKS. however, there was Deku development here as well, most notably in this scene:

this is the scene that got a lot of people speculating that this arc was going to focus on Deku hunting down all of the old villains. but I think people got so caught up in that speculation that they overlooked what this scene tells us about Deku’s mindset. and yes, there is new information being revealed here, and it’s not just a rehash of the stuff we already knew. like yes, we know that Deku was shaken up by the recent encounters with Dabi and Tomura, and we know that made him start questioning why villains become villains in the first place, and all that good stuff, and that’s great. however, there are two additional important things that this scene helps establish for us.

the upcoming battle with TomurAFO is weighing heavily on Deku’s mind. this is something that will become a recurring theme in this arc. Deku is thinking about this constantly. the question of what to do when he finally encounters TomurAFO again is knocking incessantly at the back of his mind, and this won’t be the last time it comes up.

Deku is using these villain encounters as test runs. can Tomura be redeemed?? is he just being stupid and naïve?? or is this really something worth attempting?? the interesting thing about this is that Deku’s resolve to save people is usually so strong and unwavering that it’s more than enough to overcome any doubts that he might have. but this time it seems like the repeated objections posed by the Vestiges and Gran Torino have really gotten to him. it’s possible I’m just reading way too much into things, but to me it really feels like Deku’s recent attempts at Talk no Jutsu were meant to do more than just show his growing awareness that the line between heroes and villains is thinner than he once imagined. they’re also serving as trial runs for the real test, when it finally comes. if he can “save” even a villain like Muscular, there’s hope for him being able to save Tomura as well. and so that moment when Muscular rejects him out of hand is all the more disappointing to him, even if it wasn’t really unexpected. basically it wasn’t the answer that he had been hoping for.

aside from those little notes though, like I said, this was unquestionably an exhibition fight first and foremost. which is fine; we needed to establish where Deku is currently in terms of strength, and it was also just fun to see him kick some ass, ngl. in terms of story purpose this chapter was similar to 219, which showed us how Shouto and Katsuki had powered up after getting their provisional licenses. people who don’t care about those characters might argue that these fights weren’t necessary, but as someone who stans all three characters hard, I would disagree! but anyways, moving on.

chapter 309

in contrast to the previous chapter, this chapter focuses more on establishing Deku’s current mental state, as opposed to his physical state. and this is what we learn:

(1) Deku is ~technically~ being shadowed/accompanied by All Might and the Hawksquad (but in practice he’s avoiding them).

(2) it was Deku’s own decision to leave U.A., and he did it because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt in order to protect him.

and finally, (3) Deku’s game plan is to stop Tomura and All for One before they reach full power.

this last part is very important, because it means there’s a countdown in effect. as far as Deku is concerned, there’s only a finite amount of time before TomurAFO becomes unstoppable. which means that he’s not only under “gotta get stronger” pressure, but time pressure as well. he doesn’t have the luxury of taking his time and training in safety. he’s being rushed now; this is do-or-die.

this chapter is also the first in this arc in which we get to see Deku’s expressions without the hood covering up his face, and what we see is very telling. as previously stated, the light is gone from Deku’s eyes. he keeps his expressions very neutral, and the only time we even see a hint of a smile is when he hugs his mom in the flashback, and it’s clear from the dialogue (“it’s okay, I’ll come home to you”) that he’s doing it for her sake in order to comfort her.

but aside from that, this is very much not the Deku we’ve grown accustomed to. this is the chapter that really establishes his current mental state imo. above all else, he’s afraid that more people will get hurt because of him, and so he’s distancing himself from everyone around him. and he’s also morbidly preoccupied with the inevitability of having to face TomurAFO again, and soon. the chapter ends on the flashback of Gran giving him his cape, and telling Deku that “killing can be another way to save someone.” there’s a lot on this kid’s mind, to say the least.

chapter 310

this chapter opens with a gang of civilians who are trying to open fire on a nice fox lady whose only crime was walking around in the rain at night. Deku intervenes to save her, and it’s the first time in this arc that we see anything close to the “old” Deku, who just wanted to save people with a smile.

but it’s bittersweet, because all the lady can talk about is how scared she was, and how horrible everything is right now. and so Deku, who feels responsible in a lot of ways for everything that’s happened, just feels that much more pressure to somehow make things right again.

there’s also this extra throwaway line which is especially heartbreaking:

“I can’t afford to be around anyone.” fucking ouch. just reinforcing once more how incredibly isolated Deku is right now -- not by choice, but because he feels like it’s not safe to let anyone else get close to him. and so he’s out here running around this dystopian cityscape in the middle of the night in the pouring rain all on his own, and neglecting himself to the point where All Might practically has to force a bento on him.

but does he complain? of course not. because his focus is never on himself. instead, when he settles down to eat, his thoughts immediately drift back to, guess who...

it’s that time pressure once again. “unless I draw out One for All’s full power, I can’t stop any of this.” it’s just nonstop, I have to get stronger, I’m running out of time, I have to do better, and constantly thinking about that inevitable confrontation.

Deku is a thinker, you guys. and when left to his own devices he will overthink, every time. his mind will run in endless loops while he mentally works his way through all of the possibilities. and that’s one of his greatest strengths, don’t get me wrong, but at a time like this it’s also one of his greatest weaknesses. it’s just so fucking easy for him to get stuck in his own head, in his endless rambling thoughts and analyses. and without anyone else there to help distract him, or help him focus, he’s become fixated on his mission, and it’s slowly consuming him.

this, incidentally, is also the chapter in which we finally see Two and Three’s faces, and learn why Two in particular is so reluctant to lend his power to Deku. he appears to be the lone holdout at this point, so stay tuned on that, because I don’t doubt this will wind up being crucial to Deku’s future development, however it winds up playing out.

chapter 311

this chapter flips back to the Hawksquad for the first half, so we get a brief respite from the ongoing Dekuangst. right before we switch back though, we do get confirmation of something we had pretty much already guessed:

like, that much was already apparent based on what we’d seen (the bags under his eyes; the fact that he refused to sit still in any one place for very long even at night), but it’s always nice to get the official confirmation so that people can’t dispute it lol. so yeah, Deku isn’t sleeping much. and not eating much either, if all he’s getting is the occasional bento from Dadmight. so basically not taking care of himself at all, huge shocker there. but this is something that’s important enough to the story that Horikoshi took the time to point it out in the dialogue, in addition to all of the visual clues we’d already gotten.

and just in case we needed to drive that point in any further, this chapter ends with the appearance of Lady Nagant! like yeah, no shit Deku isn’t getting much sleep, what with him having to fend off racist civilians and hired assassins every five fucking minutes. smdh. can he live??

chapter 312

so this is the chapter that properly introduces Lady Nagant, who maaaay or may not be one of the primary antagonists of this arc?? like, it’s really unclear right now tbh, but she gets hyped up by Hawks and AFO, and has a flashback and a mysterious past and a weird trump card (where did you go, Overhaul) and all that good shit, so yeah? one can hope at any rate.

but anyway. so to his credit, Deku’s first thought is to retreat, but he quickly abandons that plan once he figures out Nagant’s location. this is played off like a logical strategic decision at first, but the subsequent chapter quickly makes it clear that Deku’s decision to take the fight to Nagant is less rational than he might have you think.

chapter 313

so yeah. last but not least, the most recent chapter, in which Deku’s real reason for targeting Lady soon becomes apparent:

what’s more, it quickly becomes clear that he miscalculated and probably would have been better off following Hawks’s advice, seeing as he promptly gets himself shot, and subsequently realizes that AFO gave Nagant an extra quirk, something he hadn’t taken into account. but instead of cutting his losses and running at this point, he doubles down instead and not only breaks out Smokescreen, but also the Third’s quirk which he has never even used before.

it’s worth noting that both En and the Third start telling him to chill at this point, and warn him that what he’s attempting is too dangerous. but tbh if they were expecting him to listen, they haven’t been reading the same arc I’ve been reading. once again, Horikoshi makes it clear that Deku has one thing and one thing only on his mind right now.

of course. once again it all comes back to this. hunt down AFO. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s just been shot twice. it doesn’t matter that Hawks, despite knowing what Deku was capable of with his OFA abilities, specifically warned him away from this one person only. it doesn’t matter that even the Vestiges are trying to tell him you’re going too fast and you’re trying to do too much and it’s too dangerous.

he just doesn’t care. long story short, the only thing that matters to Deku right now is tracking down and defeating TomurAFO. and as the person who knows him best once so aptly put it, “he doesn’t take himself into account.” and therein lies the major challenge of this arc.

and so this is where we’re currently at now. and this has been a very long post, but if nothing else, I hope I was able to get this one point across: there is absolutely no way that Deku will be able to defeat TomurAFO as he is now. not a chance in hell. somehow he’s managed the uncommon feat of waging a war of attrition against himself, which is really quite an accomplishment. he’s not taking care of himself, and he’s refusing to listen to sound advice from the people surrounding him, and is trying to skip ahead to the final boss battle before he’s ready, because the guilt and pressure from feeling responsible for the current situation are eating him up. the only way that the world can go back to normal is if he can defeat AFO; therefore he has to do it as soon as possible, because time is running out and everyone is counting on him. this is who Deku is. and this is what inevitably happens when his saving mentality is taken to extremes, and left unchecked.

anyway so to wrap up this post now, I do think this arc is a lot more cohesive than it’s gotten credit for thus far, and Deku is the glue holding it all together. I for one am loving the exploration of his character and all the subtle little angsty touches as we build up to the big moment, whenever it finally comes. just keep in mind though that if his decisions right now seem reckless and short-sighted, it’s because they’re supposed to seem that way, because Deku is not in a good mental state right now. the cracks are finally showing in our perfect protagonist, just like everyone has been wanting this whole time. he is just a kid. he is doing his best. he is trying far too hard to do his best, and it is hurting him so badly, but he doesn’t even realize. this arc is not an endorsement of the Angsty Nomad Hero lifestyle, lol. it’s the exact fucking opposite, and I think it’s being wildly misinterpreted with all of the emphasis on “oh look at that, he mastered another quirk with no effort”, as opposed to “oh look at that, he is shutting down emotionally and is a few more missed nights of sleep away from a complete and total breakdown.”

tl;dr the overarching storyline of this arc is all about Deku slowly falling apart due to his trauma from Jakku, and the subsequent pressure that was put on him by the Vestiges with their whole “GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE THE LAST USER OF OFA, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ON YOU BUDDY” pep talk. and mark my words, things are not going to go according to plan. something is going to go terribly wrong here. whether it’s something happening to All Might, or AFO setting up a trap for him, either way Deku is being set up to fail in a major way. unless of course, someone (or a group of someones) manages to intervene first, and possibly stage an intervention or something. it’s what he needs right now, but idk if Horikoshi is going to make it that easy.

anyway, but in other words, the point of this arc is not to show how much stronger Deku has gotten and how he doesn’t even need his friends anymore. it’s the exact opposite -- the point of this arc is to show that Deku needs his friends now more than ever. that in spite of OFA and all of its mystical trappings and fancy SIXQUIRKS, Deku can’t do this alone. he needs his friends. that’s the core message. and right now, we are at the “I can get by on my own” part of the story. and the part we are all waiting for, but which is coming -- I guarantee it is coming, you guys -- is “the thing is, you don’t have to.”

and that shit is going to slap hard you guys. and I for one can’t wait. but until then, enjoy the angst.

#bnha 313 #midoriya izuku #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #long post #like 'long' is really an understatement here lol #our little green protagonist is really going through it you guys #and I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it

[ghostiewriter]

imagine if in season 2 kiara would’ve been the one who got shot instead of sarah and jj was in the car with her. how do you think he would react??

OKAY HI SORRY I am now just getting through to prompts in my inbox from ages ago🤡I was too lazy to fit this into the season 2 timeline so enjoy this prompt in like a possible season 3 moment! And excuse how bloody dramatic it is lol

Word Count: 1k

She wasn’t sure how it happened.

It had been weeks since they returned from the island, it had been a fortnight since she finally started talking to her parents as well, and it had been just over a week since their names had been completely cleared from all and any crimes that had been lingering over their heads since they first smuggled onto the Costal Venture.

Truthfully, life was going a bit too well for the pogues but they were due a break after the summer they had. Kiara just assumed this was finally it, they were finally allowed to be the teenagers they were.

Catching up on her junior year had been a pain in the ass, but it was done and the only way the pogues knew how to celebrate was with a kegger. It felt surreal, sitting by the fires and sipping stale beer when she was so sure only a month ago that she and her friends would die on that nameless island where no one would find their bodies.

She had been so prepared to die on that island, she never once thought her brush with Death would be so soon after.

“Kie! Open your eyes for me, Kie! C’mon!”

Had she closed her eyes? She hadn’t even realised. One minute she was walking towards the keg, a friendly face from her English class on her left as they spoke about some stupid show she had been binging on Netflix and the next she heard gunshots.

She heard people screaming.

Or maybe that was herself.

She wasn’t quite sure.

All Kiara really did remember was a flash of blond lunging for her and familiar arms encasing her as she began to bob, almost like she was floating in the sea. But she wasn’t in the water again, she was in somebody’s arms.

“Kiara!”

Her eyes fluttered open and they instantly saw blue. It took her a few moments to realise they were in the back of the Twinkie, the engine roaring and tires screeching beneath her. She wasn’t sure where the others were, and to be completely honest with herself she wasn’t sure she really cared at that moment, not when she saw those damn blue eyes that made her heart skip a beat more often than not.

“Hey.”

She could see his body practically sag in relief when she spoke, and despite the low light, she could see tears glossing over his eyes. She went to lift a hand, maybe to hold his cheek or maybe just see if he was real, but he quickly shook his head.

“Don’t,” His voice was tense. “Don’t move, okay? You’ve already lost too much blood and…and Pope says you need to keep still to…I don’t know! But just…stay still, okay?!”

Blood.

Her blood.

Because she was shot.

But she didn’t feel like she was losing blood or that she had a bullet in her stomach. She felt…well, she felt like she wanted to close her eyes and go back to feeling JJ’s arms around her.

“Hey! Eyes open, Kie. Keep your eyes on me!”

“I’m tired, Jay,” she whispered to him like it was just a secret for the two of them. They had a lot of secrets together. She liked that. It was theirs.

“I know,” JJ whispered back and she felt a hand on her cheek. She leaned into the touch, a lazy smile on her lips. “But you gotta stay awake for me for a bit longer, okay?”

Maybe she should feel scared that she was going to die. Maybe she was, in fact, scared. Or maybe she felt like this wasn’t real. None of it was real.

It was just her and JJ.

That’s all that really mattered.

“Kie!”

“Promise me,” she murmured to him.

He tensed, his throat clenching as he felt like emptying his stomach of the cheap beer he had been downing all night. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it—if she gave him some dying wish, some confession she had been waiting her whole life to say.

He didn’t even want to entertain the idea because she wasn’t going to die. Kiara wasn’t going to die.

Right?

“Promise what?” he asked and he hated the way his voice cracked.

“You won’t surf the riffs in Canggu without me,” she told him with eyes so dim and foggy that it reminded him nothing of the Kiara that wiggled her way into his heart.

He choked out a laugh. “No way, dude. Surf trip together, right?”

“Right,” she whispered back, her eyes fluttering.

“Kie!” he called out, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He couldn’t look down at his hand that was currently pressed over her wound, and he didn’t want to think about the warm blood soaking between his fingers. He just needed to focus on her, only her.

“It feels nice, Jay,” she said in an airy voice. “I thought dying would hurt.”

“You’re not dying, Kie,” he gritted through clenched teeth. “We are gonna get you to the hospital, okay? We are—”

“You don’t usually talk this much when you’re drunk,” she snorted lightly.

“Stop it,” he breathed out, shaking his head as he turned her to look at him. “You’re gonna be okay, Kie. You saved my life, now let me do the same.”

“It’s just a dream, Jay,” she whispered to him, not awfully bothered by the way his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Nothing hurts in a dream. Nothing is real in a dream.”

“Goddammit, Kiara—”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt,” she giggled, but it sounded a little breathless and staggered. His heart was stuck in his throat.

“Kiara, look at me,” he gritted out as he finally stared into those brown eyes. “You cannot die on me, you hear me? Nothing to lose, huh? Fuck that, I don’t wanna lose you. Don’t…don’t let me lose you, Kie, please.”

“We’ll go on our surf trip, Jay,” she murmured, her eyes glazing over and he knew he was starting to lose her.

“I’m holding you to that, Kie,” he choked out as the sobs he had been holding back since the Boneyard threatened to rack through his body.

“It feels really nice, Jay,” Her words starting to slur together. “Better than getting high.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Just fucking stay alive to tell me about then, okay?”

“I’m really tired, Jay.”

And those blue eyes were the last thing she saw.

#ask #jiara #outer banks

[anonymousfiction211]

Okay first off Hi!! I just found your Tumblr and I love your writing! So I wanted to request something. This may sound odd but a fic where the tesseract turns into a human? Lol... I was watching avengers and at the beggining Dr. Selvig referred to the tessrract as a her. (Reader doesn't have to be a female! Totally up to what your comfy with! But fluff or light smut. Maybe loki is possessive of them? Sorry if that was way to specific or not enough. I've never requested something before...So you totally can ignore this if it's bad. Thanks💓

A/N: Thank you so much for the compliments! I never thought about this scenario and I loved it! Your request can be as specific or vague as you want, depending on how much room for interpretation you want. Hope you like it :). I followed the Avengers plot, so Loki is in his underground base.

His Kjæreste 'Excuse me, WHAT?’ Loki roared. Are these midgardians going mad?

There was sweat breaking out on Dr. Selvig’s forehead. He trembled slightly when Loki raised his voice. ‘I- It’s.. We we’re done with building your weapon. And suddenly she changed’ Dr. Selvig tried to explain again.

‘She?’ Loki asked.

‘Yeah, the Tesseract suddenly changed into a woman’ Dr. Selvig answered.

Loki held his hand up, not interested in anything Dr. Selvig had to say. If Loki hadn’t put him under mind control he would have expected this to be a poorly executed plan. Now he wondered what chemical reaction in the lab had caused all his servants to imagine something ridiculous as this. He got up from his seat and quickly paced towards the lab. Dr. Selvig was stumbling behind him, trying to keep up.

The doors of the lab burst open right before Loki entered. What is magic for if not a dramatic entrance? he thought. Hoping it would remind his servants of the strength and power he holds. He scanned the lab with his eyes. There were two guards on either side of the door who visibly flinched, which made him smirk. Barton was in the middle of the lab, staring at the corner. She stood in the corner. A beautiful young woman, pushing herself against the wall in the hopes she would disappear. She tried to hide her facial expression under her wavy brown hair. When she looked at Loki he noticed her ocean blue eyes, eyes in which he could drown.

It took Loki a moment to realise the woman was naked. No wonder she is scared Loki thought. He saw that Barton had grabbed a lab coat from the chair and he was making his way over to the woman. Loki wasn’t having it. He practically sprinted towards Barton and pushed him aside. The woman watched this exchange curiously.

‘Everybody leave’ Loki growled. Without hesitation, every brainless servant quickly made their way outside. ‘Barton, close the door’ Loki added. When he heard the doors closing he turned his attention back to the woman, who was still cowering in the corner.

‘Relax, beautiful. I’m not going to hurt you’ Loki cooed as softly as he could. He slowly made his way over to the corner. The woman eyed him with slight fear, but he noticed the curious twinkle in her eyes. Loki let his eyes wander her body when he approached, not hiding that he liked what he saw. When he stood right before her he took off his leather jacket and helped her into it. She was hesitant but accepted. He zipped the jacked up, she was much smaller than him and it looked like a dress on her.

She flinched when Loki grabbed her chin. He made her look at him and he looked intensely in her eyes. Her eye colour was the bluest Loki had ever seen. It was hypnotizing. He didn’t question if this woman were the Tesseract, he could feel it. The amazing feeling of power that attracted Loki in the first place, was still emitting from her. He couldn’t help but inhale the scent of her hair. And he didn’t fail to notice that made her blush.

‘Interesting, I didn’t know you could change forms’ Loki said.

‘I don’t do it very often’ the beautiful woman whispered to him.

‘Hmm.. and do you have a name?’ Loki asked while his lips caressed her neck. The woman holds her head back, giving him better access. Her breathing has sped up and Loki could tell she was suppressing a moan.

‘No, just the Tesseract’ she answered.

‘That will not do, I’ll call you my Kjæreste for now’ Loki said.

With a snap of his fingers, the lab doors opened. Barton walked through but stopped halfway through the lab. ‘Sire?’ he asked.

‘Will you escort my Kjæreste to my room. After that I need you to find her some clothes and fetch her something to eat and drink’ he ordered Barton. ‘I will be with you shortly’ Loki told her and gave her a kiss on her cheek. When she giggled his whole face lit up, that was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He reluctantly pulled himself away from her and walked towards the exit. Right before he left he turned around. He saw that Barton had exchanged his hand, not clear of his intention Loki wasn’t having it.

‘The first person who touches her dies a very painful death by my own hand. That is not a threat, but a promise. Make sure everyone knows’ he said. He smirked when Barton quickly put his hand back down his side and made his Kjæreste follow him to his room. As much as Loki had wanted to escort her himself, he unfortunately had some things to work out before he could make his move on this pathetic little planet.

After an hour Loki was done and he walked back to his room. He was excited to see his Kjæreste in a beautiful green gown reading a book on the couch. When he entered she put her book away and smiled brightly at her. Before he could go to her there was a knock on the door. Loki opened the door to see one of his guards standing with a plate of food and a variety of drinks. The guard tried to peek over Loki’s shoulder to get a look at the woman. Loki quickly grabbed the plate and shoved the door back in his face. Apparently, he wasn’t the only person in the building drawn to her, but he is damned to let anyone else have her.

He walked towards her with the plate. ‘You hungry?’ he asked.

She nodded and got up from the couch to accept the food, but Loki had different plants. He sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap in one motion. She gasped but giggled when he kissed her neck. He sat the plate on her lap and started to feed her a variety of finger food and drinks.

‘Why did you change your form if I may ask?’ he asked in between feeding her.

‘I thought this form might be more appealing towards you’ she blushed.

‘Hmm, I do like you in this form. But why now?’ Loki purred.

‘I saw your plans for this planet. Now that you have build your weapon I thought I could help you in other ways’ she answered.

‘Other ways?’ Loki asked suggestively, liking where this was going.

She nodded ‘I still have all my powers in this form. Why stop at one planet? We could take them all’ she said.

That took Loki back a bit. ‘You want to concur all the nine realms with me?’

‘Of course, you’re very powerful. And a king’ she said.

The wheels in Loki’s head were spinning. If she were willing to help him, they could take all the nine realms. She is connected to the other stones, he could get them before Thanos and take everything he deserved. And this while having a beautiful queen by his side. She looked questioningly at him when he didn’t answer.

‘Unless this is not what you want? I can revert back if that is what you prefer’ she said while averting his gaze.

Loki pulled her closer against him and started to cover her neck in bite marks. ‘You do no such thing. You’re MINE and I’m keeping you’ he growled.

After she had eaten enough he showed her around his base. He loved the way her arm linked with his and how she put her head against his upper arm sometimes. The word that Loki would kill everyone who touched her had gotten around quickly. Almost every man immediately averted their gaze when they saw her. Despite that, Loki made sure to mark her neck clearly for everyone to see. She didn’t seem to mind. Apparently, she was as drawn to him as he was to her. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow when the two of them would start to plot their schemes.

By the end of the night, he escorted her back to his room. Their room. He loved how she blushed when he pulled her close against him. Then Loki did something he wanted to do the first time he saw her. He gave a deep kiss, making her knees go weak. He supported her with his arms and walked her towards their bed. ‘I’m going to make you scream my name so loud, everyone on this planet will know you belong to me’ he growled. And he meant it. Nothing and nobody would ever take her away from him. His Kjæreste.

Tags: @delightfulheartdream @the-best-phineas @theaudacitytowrite @pescadoavocado

#loki fic #loki fanfiction #loki marvel #loki god of mischief #loki god of lies #loki oneshot #loki of asgard #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki fluff #loki fanfic #mcu loki #loki story #loki sweet

[pradaksj]

Safety Net || part two (final). (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, pining, smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.

❧ word count ⟶ 16,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, character death (non-major), smut which includes ... passionate to rough sex, oral (female receiving), penetration, fingering, unprotected sex (please have sex responsibly lol). 

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n ⟶ I am still fairly new to writing smut so sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations 😭 also to all my people who don’t like smut “*” signals where you can stop reading as the smut is really just a bonus scene at the end. and remember dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple = present

01 | 02 (final) 

“God were we dramatic,” you laugh, glad that the recollection of your big fight with Jungkook was something that could by now be laughed at rather than seen as something you’d dearly regret, “Don’t you think?” you ask Jungkook, concern immediately washing over you once you see the sad look on his face, “Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares blankly at the lake in front of him, surprised at the resurgence of the same heavy feeling in chest he had felt several months before, “Did I—Did I say something wrong?” you worry that you’ve hurt his feelings, that being one of, if not the, last thing you wanted to do tonight.

Quietly he nods his head no, “I just—” he struggles to voice his thoughts, “I was—” he shakes his head and you grab his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.

“Hey,” you giggle, “what happened is in the past,” you reassure.

“I know but—” he sighs, pushing his hair back with his other hand, “I just still feel bad, you know? I mean we went a whole month without talking…. practically hating one another…”

August 2019. 

It had been about a month since your explosive argument with Jungkook, and despite living together... the two of you had never been so far apart. Not only were you not on speaking terms, but it was as if neither of you existed in each other's proper world, completely avoiding each other at all costs.

One would think that because you two lived with one another, you’d be bound to have some kind of awkward bump ins from time to time, but somehow the two of you managed to steer clear of each other. From eating breakfast and dinner at separate times, to talking to Hobi at your own respective times, and of course the first thing Jungkook did the next day after your fight was move his things out of your restroom and into Hobi’s. You weren’t going to lie, it did sting just a little , but you were quick to get over it. The part that made Hobi roll his eyes even further back than they already did, was how quickly you two scrambled around each other whenever you did happen to coincidentally be in the same place such as the kitchen.

Originally Hobi tried any and every method possible to get you two to make up, knocking on doors and trying to trick you two into talking, faking handwriting, stealing personal belongings, and of course begging. Hell, he even tried confronting you two in one of the rare times you guys were in the kitchen at the same time, but all you two did was remain silent and go back into your respective rooms. Not bothering to even spare a glance at one another.

He had given up about two weeks in of trying, deciding that it was up to you two to figure out how you guys would make up. But it wasn’t until this Friday morning when he saw a certain letter stick out of the mail that he found himself loudly sighing.

“Oh Jungkook…” he whispers to himself, shaking his head as he read the letter in front of him. What was he going to do now?

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to get used to being the lone wolf in the apartment again, in fact it was easy for him to completely ignore your existence. It was easy to watch you struggle opening a jar full of kimchi. It was easy to catch a glimpse of you and Hobi watching One Piece on the couch whenever he was making his way out of the apartment to go and party. It was easy to hear you sing along to some new girl group song and not join along whenever he passed by your room. And it was very easy to hate you. Very easy indeed.

Gosh, who was he kidding? It was the hardest freaking thing in the world to do. Especially because he didn’t hate you at all. Pretending to? Yes. Actually? Fuck no.

If he was being honest, any hatred he had felt in the moment of the big argument had been rapidly washed away the moment he slammed his door shut. Instead it had been quickly replaced by the feeling of hurt and sadness. He even found himself sneaking into the kitchen that night to grab an extra pint of ice cream from the freezer and watch some stupid K-drama from his laptop back in his room. Even shedding a small tear when the male and female lead had to break up due to unforeseen circumstances. But of course if you asked him if it was true, he’d deny it in a heartbeat.

He’d often find himself zoning out and replaying the fight in his head. God, was he an idiot. What was he thinking destroying your painting like that? Did he really think you weren’t going to react the way you did? Sadly, the answer was a mixture of both yes and no. Yes, he wanted you to feel as hurt as he did, but he didn’t expect you to go fully ballistic on him. Did he blame you for it? No, of course not. You had every right to be mad at him as he had acted out in completely blind rage. Not bothering to stop for one moment and ask himself, am I okay with the possible outcome of what I’m about to do? Had he known it was going to be this, and well … he would’ve never done it.

It just happened so quick. One moment he was staring at the floor covered with broken pieces of glass and the next he had his fist going through the canvas of your painting, destroying the very thing he convinced you to work on. No wonder you hated him…

You hated him and you had every right to. He just wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take it anymore. Having to only catch glimpses of you from time to time and not being able to say anything because he was too ashamed to even look at you was truly killing him. And he could only imagine how you felt having to see him every day and night. Knowing the person you hated most was living under the same roof as you. Hell, if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t want you around at all.

Which is why as Jungkook currently stares aimlessly at the ceiling of his room, he knows he’s made the right decision.

The night of the fight between you and Jungkook, you had felt a range of emotions that honestly were quite overwhelming. Whenever you’d stare off into space you’d find yourself feeling very sad and reflective, but whenever you even caught a glimpse of your then destroyed painting on the floor you’d feel the rush of anger return all at once. It was like that the whole night, not even an episode of One Piece could cheer you up. If anything it made you feel even more confused because you were on the episode where (spoiler alert) *** dies, and well not only were you mad at how it happened, but sad because it was happening. Hell, that was probably the best way to describe how you felt about the whole argument.

The first couple of days had been hard to say the least, the dynamic between all three of you drastically changing in the matter of a couple days. No longer were there grocery shopping trips together, nor were there laundry days where you and Jungkook would compete to see who could fold the fastest, and of course there were no longer Netflix movie nights where Hobi would complain because you and Jungkook kept cracking too many jokes during the most intense scenes. Your laughs always echoing across the living room walls thus ruining the buildup of the scene.

You were good at pretending you didn’t care, in fact you were great at it. Maybe because a part of you actually didn’t care. You had long been fed up with Jungkook’s moody antics, and him destroying that painting was the final straw. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gone into his room after he specifically told you not to, but you only did because you were worried about him and actually cared about him. Couldn’t he have seen that before he went full on rampage mode and destroyed your painting? He was wrong for what he did, and at the end of the day he had no right to hate you. Right?

These days you found yourself doubting it. It wasn’t like you were in the entire right, you mean you had invaded his privacy … you shake your head, begrudgingly getting out of bed before dwelling on your thoughts for any longer. The re-do of your painting, which currently sat on its easel, serving as reminder that you weren’t planning on talking to him anytime soon.

“Good Morning to you,” Hobi greets, watching you stomp your way into the kitchen, clearly running on an empty stomach. Jungkook was currently out, either working out or …. Hobi sighs recalling what he saw in the letter this morning.

“Good morning,” you mumble, the grouchy mood that Hobi found himself a little too used to making its morning return. In all the years he’s known you, to see you always this …. down …. was very unlike of you to say the least.

Whether you liked it or not, your fight with Jungkook had definitely changed some aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Because no matter how good you were good at faking it, and trust him you were good (a professional indeed), behind that tough wall you had put up in the last month was a person who was hurt. A person who had their heart crushed right in front of them.

Grabbing two slices of bread, you place them in the toaster, preparing to make yourself some avocado toast. You sigh when you hear Hobi’s footsteps getting closer, not wanting to hear the whole “You need to talk to Jungkook” speech this early on a Saturday morning.

Turning around to face him, you’re prepared to protest against his usual lecture, “Hobi I don’t—” the sound of an envelope hitting the counter catching you off guard, stopping you from continuing any further. Furrowing your brows, your eyes glint with confusion. Hobi stares at you with a stoic expression, waiting for you to grab the letter from the island’s counter.

Slowly you grab the white envelope, extremely confused as to what this had to do with. The name on the recipient line reads, “Jeon Jungkook” and for a small second you feel your heart stop, but you’re quick to shake it off.

“This isn’t mine, if you can’t tell,” you scoff, preparing to hand the envelope back to Hobi.

Pushing your hand away, he says, “Read it,” his tone telling you that it wasn’t exactly an option.

Rolling your eyes, you pull out the single piece of paper that’s inside, unfolding the tri-folded letter. Your eyes quickly gaze over the subject line which reads, “Application Approval,” catching your attention. From there you continue to read…

Dear Jeon Jungkook,

We are pleased to notify you that we have received and accepted your application for the lease property of **** Jangsin-Ro, Apartment 32. Your lease will begin on September 28, 2019 and your rent amount is ₩****  for every 1st of the month. Any cancellations will result in a ₩*** fee. I want to thank you for your application and anticipate that you will have an enjoyable living experience in your new home.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Bang Si-Hyuk.

Wait what? Your eyes reread the letter that’s in front of you because clearly you were reading something wrong. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you because there was just no way…. Looking up at Hobi, you hope this was another of his attempts to get you to talk to Jungkook, but there he stood, straight faced as ever.

“He’s—” your voice whimpers like a little kid, “He’s moving out?”  

“Ow!” Jungkook squirms, the feeling of your fingers pinching his arm hurting him, “What was that for?!” he yelps.

“For trying to move out without telling us! And don’t you dare ever pull something like that again,” you scold him, tempted to pinch him again.

Garnering a laugh out of him, you cross your arms like a kid and huff a loud breath of air, “Ah I won’t, I won’t,” he giggles, “Maybe…” he mumbles, but he’s quick to raise his arms in defense once he sees you ready to pinch him once again, “I’m just kidding,” he sings and you roll your eyes.

“Serves you right,” you mutter, letting out the hurt you felt that day to him because honestly, you had never gotten the opportunity to do so…

September 2019.

“Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out,” you think to yourself, having to come to terms with the fact that in exactly 48 hours from now Jungkook was officially going to be out of your life … for good.  

You were shocked to say the least, when you saw the application letter, not exactly sure about what you felt. You mean, yeah you were definitely mad at Jungkook, but enough to the point where you wanted him officially out of your life? Hell no.

So then where the hell did he even get the idea to move out? It wasn’t like you two were being mean to each other, nor was there blatant hatred being shown on your part. All you two were doing were ignoring each other like two little kids. That should not be cause for someone to move out. Not at all!

A knock on the door catches your attention, “You ready?” Hobi asks, dressed in business like attire. His all black suit made him seem almost intimidating, that was until your eyes landed on his newly dyed cherry-red hair only causing you to stifle a small laugh.

Nodding your head, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time. Tonight was the night of the art exhibition, and you were very very nervous. You had turned in your piece a couple of days prior, but to have to later unveil it in front of everyone along with giving a small speech was nerve wracking. Especially considering you hadn’t involved yourself in the world of the arts for several years now, if anything you were used to constantly talking about accounting numbers and different business statistics.

“It’s either now or never,” you whisper to yourself, not knowing what awaited you.

“I just don’t get it Hobi,” you rant in the car, on your way to the galleria’s location, “he didn’t see me trying to move out when he was being nothing but a complete dick to me those first couple of months!” you pout, still not having accepted that Jungkook was moving out, despite constantly reminding yourself that he was.

Hobi sighs, feeling as if he’s heard you rant about this since you’ve found out … oh wait … you have! “Y/N—” he begins.

“No listen to me Hobi!” you interrupt, “Can he really not stand the sight of me that he feels the need to move out?? Was me going into his room really that big of an issue,” your voice wavers a bit, but you continue nonetheless, “And the fact that he hasn’t even bothered to tell you! So what? He was just planning on disappearing this coming Monday! Thinking no questions were going to be raised? I mean imagine you hadn’t seen that letter, he would’ve left thinking I hate him!” And to that Hobi lets out a scoff.

“What do you mean?” he scrunches his face, “He still is!” Hobi raises his finger before you could talk, “My turn,” he firmly states, only causing you to drop your defensive shoulders and roll your eyes.

“You two have not talked at all since your stupid little argument where clearly both of you were in the wrong!” he rants, repeating what he’s been saying for the last two months, the topic becoming tiresome, “And now one of you is leaving because neither of you can get over yourselves and just initiate some kind of freaking conversation! Just one conversation and I am one hundred percent sure everything will get cleared up and we can all go back to our daily lives, but nooooo both of you think we’re in some freaking K-drama, actually no, even K-dramas make up faster than the two of you!” he ends his rant on an insult, and you’re left there momentarily speechless.

“You are so—”

“I’m what?” Hobi glares at you, and you only narrow your eyes at him in return.

“You are so wrong,” you state, refusing to now look at him, instead looking out the window.

“I’m right and you know it,” you mumble something under your breath in response, “You invaded his privacy after he repeatedly told you not to, but for some reason you just felt the impulsive need to go into his room and find out what he was hiding. You know, I’m sorry Y/N but if Jungkook’s the biggest dickhead in existence then you my friend are the pushiest one,” he complains, finding his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. God, did the two of you get his blood pressure boiling up.

“You don’t get it, I had to go into his room,” you mutter, not exactly happy with the fact that Hobi is reading you for filth.

“No you didn't,” the two of you begin to go back and forth, voice raising with every sentence.

“Yes, I did.”

“No you did not.”

“Um yes—”

“Um n—”

“Yes, how else was I going to be able to find out what was hurting him?” you interrupt, turning to face Hobi, feeling the migraine in your head about to pop.

“And why would you need to know that?”

“Because I lo—” you quickly catch yourself before you could complete the sentence, crossing your arms and pouting. Like hell you’d confess in front of Hobi.

Hobi looks at you knowingly, “Because you what,” he taunts, knowing exactly what you were going to say,

“Just drive,” you mumble, your attention back to the window beside you, focusing on the view of the city streets.

“Ah Y/N, there you are!” Jimin greets you and Hobi, having barely walked in from your argumentative car ride, “You’re on in like ten minutes,” he nervously chuckles, worrying only minutes ago that you were going to be a no-show.

“That quick?” you ask in complete shock, barely having taken off your dress-coat. The churns in your stomach begin to make you feel physically sick and there’s now a certain dryness to your throat that you could only accredit to the tension you were now feeling. Your palms were even beginning to get a little sweaty. Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah … Jungkook.

“Come on let’s go and get you set up,” Jimin tugs at your hand, pulling you to follow him. With your other hand, you attempt to look for your flash cards, wanting to remind yourself of the specific points you needed to cover.

“What the—” your heart drops, unable to feel the flimsy piece of paper anywhere near the coat that hung against your arm, “Oh no,” you murmur to yourself, not wanting to panic Jimin, “No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself.

“Okay here we are,” he stops you two in front of your draped-covered painting, pulling out a lapel mic from his pocket, clipping it onto the collar of your outfit. Now that you weren’t moving, you were now barely taking note of just how many people filled the galleria, and it was a lot. There had to be at least 200 people, minimum. Each and every one of them slowly looking around at the already unveiled art pieces, their eyes doing the judging for them.

“Jimin I don’t know—”

“Hey, you’re gonna do just fine, it’s just a bit of stage fright I’m sure,” he reassures, and though you appreciate the gesture, coming from him it just didn’t mean much. You see, Jimin has always been what's called an optimistic person, similar to you in a way. Always trying to find the good in the bad. But in order for his words to really have some effect, it would’ve been better if he was a pessimist, someone who always saw the negative in everything because then to hear that you would do just fine would come more as a shock rather than as something expected, someone like—

You shake your head,“I’m just,” your outfit suddenly begins to feel as if it's squeezing the life out of you, “I’m really nervous,” you whisper to him out of breath, watching as people begin to crowd around your area. Were the walls closing in or was it just you?

He begins to test the mic, “Jimin—” you repeat his name, a cry for help, “I can’t—” but it’s too late.

“Hello everyone,” he speaks into his own microphone, and you scan the audience to see if you can spot Hobi. When you do, you notice the look of panic he has on his own face, probably aware of your distressed state, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, “This artist I’m introducing to you, has been a personal friend of mine for years. I’ve known her since my first year in college, and I can vouch for just how talented she is,” Jimin glances at you, unaware of just how truly panicked you were, “So without further ado, y/n take it away,” he steps away, leaving you under the sole spotlight.

Remaining silent for a moment, you stare at the several pairs of eyes that had their gaze solely focused on you. “H-Hello,” you stutter into the mic, glad that it wasn’t a handheld one as you were sure that you would’ve been a jittering mess, “Um my name is y/n l/n,” you nervously smile, trying to find something to focus your attention on. Originally you planned on staring at Hobi the whole time, only to find out it made you even more of a stuttering mess. God, was it getting hot in here.

“So um I think we should um reveal the painting first,” you sputter out, signalling to Jimin that it was time. Slowly he removes the drape, the sound of clapping providing you a bit of a soothing effect. People liked it. People freaking liked it. It felt as if a brick or two had been dropped from your shoulders.

You gulp continuing with your speech, “So I um—” breathe y/n, “I call this piece safety net,” you turn sideways towards the painting, ready to explain, “I call it that because as y-you can see in the painting,” you mindlessly point to it as if the audience couldn’t see it themselves, “There’s the um the figure falling into what I call a safety net of flowers and—” you stare at the painting along with them, finding yourself getting lost in your own work, “well I painted this after—” you pause, the room completely silent, “after finding myself wanting to be someone’s safety net,” you mumble to yourself, a certain person coming to mind.

There’s an awkwardness to the room, the kind of stiffness you only find in tense moments. You weren’t sure if it was because the audience was trying to be respectful or you were just making a complete mess out of yourself, but either way Jimin awkwardly coughs, “So um we will now take questions from the audience,” Jimin hesitantly says, by now noticing the extremely panicked state you were in, but unsure of what to do.

A woman raises her hand, a volunteer for the galleria handing her a mic, “Hello,” she politely greets, giving you a warm smile, “So I was curious as to why you chose two colors that don’t conventionally go well together, I was wondering if you did that on purpose or…” and though you know her question means no harm, the voice in your head was convincing you that this was some kind of an attack.

“I um—” your breathing becomes heavier, “I—” Just speak, you keep telling yourself. Tell her that you chose two colors because they represented two different personalities. Say something you freaking idiot. “I um c-chose—” you begin to hear the sound of people murmuring all around you, their voices echoing loudly through your head. What were they saying? Did they hate your painting? Did they think it made absolutely no sense? Was it really that bad? What were you thinking when agreeing to do all this? How could you have been convinced to do this? You didn’t paint anymore for this exact reason.

With every thought that races through your mind, the sudden sense of impending doom only becomes stronger and your rapid breathing becomes louder. You had to be sweating because God did it feel like a fucking sauna in here. The tightness in your throat wasn’t helping at all as well only making the feeling of nausea further overwhelming. You needed to get out of here. Now.  

And so without thinking… you run.

You yank out the mic and begin to run to God knows where, ignoring the shouts of your name along with the small number of gasps that could be heard.You needed to breathe again, and you desperately needed this feeling of danger to be gone.

Trying not to bump into too many people walking the dark city streets of Seoul, focusing on the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement, tuning out everything around you. “Just run,” you tell yourself, “Run until no one can find you.”

Soon the sound of your heels clacking against the pavement becoming the sound of your heels crunching against leaves. The pitch blackness of your surroundings causes tears to begin to well up, the trembling of your fingers along with the chills running down your spine making you feel as if you were running in an endless loop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You come to sudden halt, pushing your arm against a nearby tree, desperately trying to catch your breath. You were alone now, isn’t this what you wanted? So then why did you still feel as if the world was crashing down on you. Why couldn’t you breathe? Why were hot tears spilling from your eyes? What the hell was wrong with you?

By now your sobs are in full force, your heaving chest only adding to its force. Because of your crying, you fail to hear a voice, “There you are!” Jungkook catches his breath, surprised at how fast you could run in heels. For a small second he thought he had lost you in the chase, with the way you maneuvered around everyone, he was thankful he hadn’t.

“Y/N,” he calls out, expecting you to turn, but he’s met with silence. You were having a panic attack, a bad one at that. Making his way closer to you, he’s careful in how he approaches you, grabbing your hand before you could run any further, “Y/N,” he repeats, this time turning you to face him, but you continue to cry in hysteria, your vision blurred by just how fast tears were falling from your eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me y/n,” he cups your face with his hands, a worrisome but firm look on his face, “I need you to breathe with me, okay?” your chest continues to heave, the rapid breaths of air coming from your mouth at an alarming rate, “Y/N!” he shouts, causing you to go silent, “Y/N���” he softly repeats, knowing he’s gotten your attention. You stare at him in silence, “One,” he inhales a big breath of air, “Two,” he exhales out, “Inhale,” he repeats his actions again, “Exhale,” he breathes out.

Slowly you begin to follow. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In no time, your heartbeat begins to slow down, your mind focused enough on the task at hand that you begin to forget why you were ever panicked to begin with. “Hey,” Jungkook whispers, caressing your cheek with his hand, “You’re doing great,” he reassures you, providing you the words of comfort you so desperately needed to hear right now.

It had been so long since you’d gone through having a panic attack, almost forgetting just how bad they could sometimes get. But for now staring into Jungkook’s eyes and practicing some breathing exercises was enough to remember that no matter how bad they got, you’d get through them.

His fingers gently graze your cheeks, continuing to mumble small phrases of reassurance while you were getting control of yourself.  “Has anyone ever told you,” you place a finger to the corner of his eye, quietly breathing your words out, “you have very round eyes,” you say and Jungkook lets a huffed laugh out in response.

He scrunches his nose and smiles, “Yeah, a lot of people have actually,” he laughs, a toothy grin spreading across his face while he uncups your cheeks, feeling a sense of tranquility wash over him as he knew you were going to be just fine, “I’ve been told they look like a doe’s eyes,” you quietly nod your head yes, agreeing with his statement, a warm smile on your face.

“Come on,” he intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you to follow him and leading you to a park bench that was near. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any park bench, it was the park bench from the night Jungkook was drunk and the two of you had gotten into the fight with that drunk man. What were the odds? You hadn’t even noticed that you ran this far till now...  

He exhales a large breath of air once you two sit, allowing a neither comfortable nor awkward silence fill the air. Despite the heartwarming moment that happened only minutes ago, there were still things that needed to be talked about. Things that simply couldn’t be forgotten. It was the sole reason he had gone to the art exhibition because he wanted, no, he needed to talk to you.

He just hadn’t expected to see you running out in complete panic right as he walked in. The tears that were slowly rolling down from your eyes, causing him to feel a sudden sense of heartbreak. For the only reason you’d ever cry would be if your hard work were to be destroyed, whether physically or emotionally. It was the same despaired look you had given him that fateful day he decided to throw everything good that was becoming of his life out the window.

And so to see the scene in front of him play out had definitely caused both a mix of anger and sadness to boil within him. His urge to defend and protect you, almost overcoming his need to go out and make sure you were okay. That was until he found himself running out the door, signalling to Hobi that he’d handle it.

And so now here the two of you were, quietly sitting on a park bench with your hands being the only things physically touching, a comfort of its own for the both of you. It didn’t feel weird nor did it feel wrong because if anything it just felt right.

A part of you thinks and hopes it could remain like this forever, scared that if it didn't, you’d have to return back to the world where you and Jungkook were nothing more than strangers who were once friends. The world where acting as if one or the other didn’t exist was completely normal. The one where you’d find your heart selfishly longing for him despite stubbornly not wanting to. And so whether it be for a small second, a minute, or an hour, for now at least you just wanted to savor the moment because who knew what would possibly happen if he decided to leave and never come back.

“Y/N…” he begins.

“Shh,” you whisper, your puffy eyes softly gazing at the view of the trees in front of you, the silhouettes of trees as well sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches, a view you were once so scared of, not so scary anymore, “Just one more second,” you close your eyes, taking in one final breath of air. Jungkook feels his heart swell at the sight, remembering the scene from only months ago where it had been you doing all the staring. You pull his hand when you’re ready, your soft gaze now directed towards him.

“I just—” he begins to stutter, “I wanted to—” he feels his eyes get watery, the rush of emotion he was beginning to feel almost overwhelming him, “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” his voice slightly cracks, “for everything,” he whispers, allowing a tear to fall from his eye, feeling the weight he had been holding onto his shoulders now falling. The small leaks of vulnerability that you had occasionally seen now completely flooding through his walls of defense, that single tear becoming several, until soon you hear a sob emit from his mouth, but by then you have him wrapped in a hug, the sound of his sobs being muffled by your shoulder. Slowly you caress his hair, gently stroking and twirling the locks of his wavy hair in between your fingers, deciding that this time around silence was the best way to go.

“I’m so sorry,” he hysterically cries, holding onto you tighter, as if you’d go anywhere. He begins to shake his head, struggling to find the words that’d best describe how he felt at this current moment, “I’m—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” it’s your turn to say the words, gently pushing him off you so he could meet your gaze, “I know,” you reassure, “and I forgive you. The same way I’m sure you’ve forgiven me for snooping around your room like that,” you jokingly assume, and he smiles despite having red bloodshot eyes, “We were angry, and we said and did things that we shouldn't had but that doesn’t mean we have to hold them over our own heads for the rest of our lives,” you grip his hand tighter, “you made a mistake, and I made one as well. And rather than explode on one another and ignore each other, we should’ve talked about where we went wrong, and yeah,” you repeat your words from months ago, “maybe we didn’t get to do this as early as we hoped, in fact we’re quite late,” you giggle, “but we’re here nonetheless. And so let’s talk,” you say, ready to listen to the boy you had fallen in love with.  

Jungkook stares at you in silence, a million thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how you always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment, “I,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need to start from the beginning,” he says, wiping any residue from the tears in his eyes, ready to open up the book he had kept closed for so long.

You nod to him, signalling that you were listening, “When I was a kid, I um,” he gulps, “I guess you could say I had a knack for boxing. Originally, my dad had taught me as a way to protect myself if I ever came across a situation that’d require me to defend myself,” his fingers begin to fidget within yours, a sign that he was nervous. Quick to soothe him, you rub small circles on the palms of his hands, his gaze occasionally avoiding eye contact.

“But I also think it was because my dad, who once wanted to be a boxer himself, saw me a way to vicariously live out his dream. Because soon he noticed that the knack I had for it was more of a talent,” a small smile appears on his lips, “and well by then he had begun to seriously train me… I remember always coming back after school and dulging right into practice, waking up on weekends and running laps at the park with my dad in order to gain stamina, and just,” he exhales a breath, “and just thinking to myself how proud I wanted to make him,” uncontrollably a tear falls from his face once again, and he tries to gain his composure before continuing, not wanting to begin the sob fest too early, “Once he thought I was ready, my dad had begun to sign me up for amatuer competitions, and well I did amazing,” Jungkook laughs.

“And soon boxing would become the sport I’d find myself building my life upon, but one day—“ he sighs, knowing the conclusion to his own story and well this was only the beginning, “one day during high school we had this um career day I guess you could call it, and well long story short after going around and listening to how passionate some of spokespersons were of their careers, I remember thinking, is boxing something I was doing for myself or for my father?”

A sad smile appears on his face, “I think the most confusing part for me was that I wasn't exactly passionate about anything else but I also just knew deep down in my heart that boxing wasn’t for me, you know? To this day I don’t know what exactly it is I'm passionate for,” he laughs, “and I certainly don’t see myself making coffee and flipping pancakes for the rest of my life,” he jokes around, an attempt the make the atmosphere a little lighter, “but I think with the help of someone I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to be a bit of a late bloomer,” he winks at you, “one day I’ll wake up and just know…”

You give him a small reassuring smile, happy to know that he’s learned his own lessons along the way, even if it required a bit of pushing.

”But back to my story,” he awkwardly laughs, the small feign of happiness gone, “Though I had realized it already… maybe it was because I was scared, or maybe it was just—” he shakes his head, unable to find the words, “I just,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t tell my dad because for me telling my dad would feel as if I was telling him that all the years of hard work were going down the drain. That the endless nights of working out and exhausting ourselves to sleep were all for nothing. And so when my dad told me that managed to get me a spot at some training camp in the states, I took it. I mean it wasn’t like I had anything going for me here in Korea, and well I needed to guarantee my own future,” he shifts uncomfortably, remembering everything a little too vividly.

“I did pretty well for a couple years, slowly began climbing the ranks, and the natural talent I had for the sport was beginning to really shape itself, even catching the attention of prominent sport reporters. Long story short, I’d find myself surrounded with nothing but yes men and leeches who wanted nothing more than a piece of my so called success,” he gazes off to the distance, ashamed of the ego that had been built as a result of such people, “and well when you get told that you’re the best, that no one can stop you, that you’re untouchable, you truly begin to believe it,” he lets out a chuckle, “so when Brandon Star, a man who was nearly out of my weight class, began to provoke me for a fight on television after winning some match and I kept hearing from my so called friends that it’d be an easy match or that it was a guaranteed win, how could I say no? Of course at the time I didn’t know that they would be betting against me… so I said yes.”

A momentary silence fills the air as Jungkook had never told this whole story to anyone, the revealing of everything somewhat freeing for him, “A part of me knew I was way in over my head, it was like a gut feeling, you know? But I needed someone, anyone, to tell me the truth and to confirm what I was thinking. I needed someone who was going to criticize me instead of nodding their head yes and pretending that everything was going to be just fine. I think that’s why when I first met you, you reminded me so much of the people who were around me in the states, faking a smile in order to spare my feelings.” Sadness clouds his features, ashamed of how he took everything out on you when all you were doing was simply being the person you always were... kind. For that, he was truly sorry.

“Anyways,” he continues, “that night of the fight, the feeling I had in my stomach was overwhelming. I told my dad, who was helping prep me backstage like he always did, that I felt nervous. That I was scared,” his voice cracks and he closes his eyes, remembering the scene as if it was yesterday, “and my dad well...he’s always struggled with separating being a father and being a trainer,” Jungkook tries to contain the sob that’s begging to come out, “but at that moment I just needed my dad. I needed him to tell me that win or lose everything was going to be fine. That he’d be proud of me no matter what,” he finally cries, and as you’re about to pull him into another hug, he vigorously shakes his head, stopping you from doing so.

“No, I need to finish thi—”

“Jungkook,” you softly interrupt because it wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear anymore, you just weren’t sure if you could hear anymore without at some point sobbing yourself,  “you don’t need to, especially if you’re not ready,” you stare at him with a sad look on your face.

“No, you deserve to know,” he firmly states, “you deserve to know,” he quietly repeats to himself. You nod your head in understanding, waiting for him to continue as he wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, composing himself.

“He told me that I’d do just fine, that the son he’s trained so long for wouldn’t fail him now,” he mumbles, the words of his father still echoing in his mind, “When you go and box, you’re supposed to enter that ring with no concerns of the real world, you’re supposed to put any negative or anxious thoughts you had outside the ring to rest. Because the moment you let just one of those thoughts seep through, you might as well hang up your gloves right then and there,” his expression hardens, “I went into that ring knowing I was going to lose…”

“From there I don’t remember too much,” he bitterly lets out a laugh, “I just remember being on a gurney and feeling the heaviness of Star’s punches beginning to weigh down on my chest, clearly having done some damage to my ribs,” he sighs, “but the moment I remember so clearly is my parents trying to make their way to me, doing their best to push their way in an effort to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was just so mad at myself,” his voice shakes, “or because I confused the look of sadness on my dad’s face with disappointment, but at the time—“ his voice falters again, “At the time I thought how ashamed he must’ve been of me,” he fights through his tears, trudging through the story, “And so as I was being lifted into the truck, I kept yelling how this was his fault, that it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jungkook lifts his head up, combing a hand through his hair.

“When I got to the hospital, I refused to let my parents see me, I was just too—“ God, did he sometimes wish he could go back in time and change everything, “I was too stubborn, too ashamed with myself to even look at them. So I ran,” he says, catching you by surprise, “I needed time alone so I ran,” he repeats, “I ran before they could find me, I just got up and ran,” there’s a haunting emptiness that lingers in his voice, one that brings chills down your spine.

“I called Hobi, and I told him that I needed to redeem a favor,” your mind flashes back to the night Hobi told you what he knew, “And I thought this is what I needed. That I’d be okay with starting anew, and that if I could firmly plant my feet in Seoul then I could visit my parents in Busan, and tell them how sorry I was without them having to worry too much about what the future would hold for me… and explain to them what happened, what I felt, and why I ran. That was my plan,” his voice cracks, “I was reaching a point in my life where I felt so content, so happy. I’d wake up to see you and Hobi making breakfast while imitating some random girl group dance and think to myself how things had managed to turn out so well for me despite my failure in the states. Or when we binged on One Piece episodes that whole night while stuffing our faces in tubed ice cream and I just felt like a little kid again without a worry in the world. But then …”  

Jungkook feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow, “He passed away,” and just like that Jungkook feels as if the air has come out of his lungs, the same way it did the night he found out.

You feel your heart break at his words, recognition dawning over your face as everything was beginning to make sense. “My mom had managed to find my number in order to tell me there’d been an accident, and I just couldn’t believe it at first,” he attempts to hide his grief by stifling a sob, “I didn’t want to get up from bed at first because getting up would mean facing reality, it’d mean accepting that it wasn’t some kind of twisted fucked up nightmare but that it was real. That the last sight my dad saw of me was on some gurney,” his face twists, “that the last words I ever said to him were so—“ he breaks down, sobbing once again and this time you feel your own hot salty tears fall from your eyes, wrapping in such a tight hug that you weren’t sure if it was for his or your own sake.

He cries a sound so raw that it was almost as if the wound was still freshly cut, his hand clasping tightly onto your clothing for support. Any last defensive wall he had up was washed away by his salty tears, finally facing the final waves of grief, loss, and devastation in the arms of the person he had taken everything out on. The person he didn’t deserve at all, but had stayed nonetheless. You whisper sweet comforting words to his ear, wanting more than his grief to subside so that you could see the smile you loved so much appear on his face again.

“I just wish there was something I could’ve done differently,” he shakes his head, “so that he could know just how much his son loved and appreciated him,” he lifts his head up from your shoulder, wiping his tears away, and practicing his breathing as his chest had been heaving so bad because of his sobs, “And so that was why I completely changed that June and became cold. That was why I got so mad when I saw you in my room with the broken trophy I had gotten when I was a kid because I was just so reminded of everything,” he frowns, “and it had hit me like a freaking truck. To see my current world and the past one collide was just—“ he pauses, “overwhelming to say the least,” he concludes everything and you’re left there completely speechless.

You could’ve never in your wildest dreams even guessed that this was why Jungkook had come back to Seoul and why he had acted so cold for so long. His grievances had happened in such a short period of time, that all it took was one wrong move to set him completely off. No wonder he had kept himself so isolated … he knew he was ticking time bomb waiting to finally explode at any given moment.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, his words processing in both of your minds. You want to say the words that are currently repeating themselves in your mind, I love you. Three simple words that could make him forget his past, even if it was for a small moment in time. “Jungkook—” he looks up at you, “I—” you stutter, the words clinging onto the tip of your tongue, “I um,” you feel your chest become heavy as he stares at you in curiosity, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you force out instead. He furrows his eyebrows, ready to protest against your apology, but you’re quick to interrupt before he gets the chance to.

“Since you’re being so honest with me, I feel like it’s only right I’m honest with you,” you bite your lip, disappointed with your cowardice, “So that like that we get a better understanding of one another,” you feign a smile.

“There’s a reason why I got so um…” you pause, “anxious before and during the galleria,” you narrow your eyes, it was now your turn to open a book that’d long been left incomplete. “I told you right? That I was an art student at Busan’s Art college but that I ended up transferring after an incident occurred…” He quietly nods, allowing you to continue, “and well I think I’m ready to talk about it,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

He stares at you in silence, ready to listen as well. “Growing up, I really liked painting,” you laugh, recalling the memory of you painting on the walls as a kid, “for some reason it was something I found myself falling further in love with every calendar year, but my parents, well they were on the more skeptical side of making a career out of it. I mean I don’t really blame them,” you sound unsure, “I mean I know that it’s hard these days to find success in the world of arts, or at least the level of success most people want to obtain but originally for me it didn’t matter,” you chuckle, remembering how naive you had been.

“Before entering college, I’d sell my little paintings and merchandise on those small-business centric websites like Etsy and stuff,” you say for example, “and you’re right, when you get told that you’re good at something, you really begin to believe it…”

Jungkook wants to interrupt and tell you that whatever your situation was, was much more different than his. That you were actually good at what you did, no, you were amazing at it. He wasn’t sure if he could listen to you talk down on yourself, but nonetheless he continues to listen.

“My first year of college I met people like Jimin who were so passionate about what they do that it really cemented the idea I had in wanting to turn my water painting into a career,” you sigh, “but in the back of my mind I always did have tiny doubts that lingered, and I always made sure not to feed them too much, but when you’re surrounded by people who are just as talented or even better than you, it gets hard not to.”

Jungkook completely understands where you’re coming from, having been in a similar position himself before. “And it didn’t help that my parents were constantly breathing down my neck about finding a different career to focus on,” you shrug “anyways,” you continue, shaking your head, “In Busan’s Art College, like many other colleges there are departments, like STEM and Business for example, but in this case things are separated by like dance, art, film, et cetera. And well if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a … pushy … person,” you laugh and Jungkook softly smiles, neither agreeing or disagreeing, “I think it’s due to me always feeling a need to overcompensate my insecurities, I guess. Like when you first moved in, in order to reassure myself that you didn’t hate me, the pushy side of me came out,” you explain, and the same way you began to understand Jungkook as he was explaining his story, Jungkook was beginning to understand you as a person.

“Well back to the focal point, I was a part of a committee club for painters within the art department, thinking that if I took charge of something, it’d increase my chances in succeeding in my career once I graduated. But the thing is, is when you join those committees I guess you could say there’s like a hierarchy of some sort, a cliché come to life,” you try your best to keep the conversation as lighthearted as you can, wanting the energy in the air to become one that was positive, a reflection of just how much you two had grown, “and well during my second year we were all assigned a project for some city poster in which we’d present to the committee’s leader, Nari, and where she and a couple of others would then choose which one was going to be used. And let me tell you, this was a career making project. The people who were going to be at the unveiling were names like Ji Hye Yeom, Haegue Yang, and more,” you sigh knowing you were coming to the rough part of the story.

“Nari had specifically told us that we were to only use materials she had chosen for us, and limited us to certain color schemes that in my opinion were the ugliest schemes I’d ever seen,” you scoff, “So me being the pushy person I am, I went ahead and continued with my original plan, which was making a watercolor painting because at the end of the day if my painting did happen to get chosen, I wanted it to be a genuine work of mine, not something that was limited by someone who was no more superior than me all because of some flimsy title,” you softly shake your head, “And so I poured my heart into it, working on it every chance I got during that school year in order to make sure that the committee would be so amazed , they’d have no choice but to choose it even if it didn’t exactly follow Nari’s regulations.”

A feigned smile graces onto your lips, refusing to cry at a situation from years ago, “I was so nervous that day to present it, but I was also so excited. Excited because I knew I created a piece that was so beautiful I—,” for a quick second your voice falters, but you’re quick to catch yourself, “I was just so sure they’d choose it,” you whisper, voice sounding frail and defeated.

“That day I presented it, I thought the silence that filled the room was because they were amazed,” you close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to push back any tears that wanted to make their way out, “God I still remember the extra specks of white and gold I added to it the night before, thinking those extra touches were really going to tip the scale in my favor,” you mumble, the embarrassment you felt that day coming back.

Jungkook feels his jaw harden, at this point an automatic response to the thought of your feelings being hurt. He didn’t know why, but to see someone as kind as you act out of character whether it be because you were mad or sad, always caused a heavy feeling in his chest. The only thing you deserved to feel was happiness and comfort, and though he wasn’t sure it was something, he, himself, could guarantee you … he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“After what felt like 20 minutes, of complete silence she slowly got up in front of everyone,” you blankly stare at the trees in front of you, “I remember my heart beating out of my freaking chest for some reason, and the sweat beginning to form at my palms. And the moment she started speaking, I just went blank—” you turn to face Jungkook, who had a worrisome look on his face, “She started to berate me in front of everyone, insulting my hard work and telling me that even despite me breaking her guidelines, the painting still wasn’t any good,” you gulp, “But in fact, her words didn’t bother me at all,” you pause, “it was the comments from my supposed peers that really twisted the knife for me,” you scoff, “and then she did the unthinkable...”

Jungkook feels the heavy weight in his chest drop because he knows what you’re about to say. He knows what that woman did. And he knows why you were so hurt when he destroyed your painting, “She grabbed the canvas from the display board, and she ripped it,” you say, managing to muster up the smallest of smiles, but Jungkook knows that it's nothing more than a facade. An illusion so that he could think that you were no longer hurt by the actions of that woman.

“Once she did that, it just triggered everything else that followed after,” you furrow your brows, refusing to look at Jungkook, “I was being laughed at while having a panic attack,” you scoff, “I felt like I was in a scene from a high school movie,” you attempt to mask your hurt by making a joke.

“I ended up running out of the building, feeling as if my heart was going to explode from how fast it was pounding, and the compression in my throat was almost unbearable,” your voice cracks, “in just 20 minutes she took away any confidence I had in my artistic abilities, In just 20 minutes she made me question everything I knew about myself,” a tear finally falls from your eye, speaking the words you’d never said out loud before into the world.

“I attempted to stay at the school for a couple more weeks after that, but every time I picked up a paint brush, I just kept hearing her words along with the rest of my peers’ as well, second guessing every stroke I made on canvas. I had lost my spark,” you stifle a sob, “After that, I decided to transfer out and follow the plans’ my parents had always set out for me… and well, you know the rest,” you laugh in between your tears, wondering just how pitiful you must’ve looked. But soon enough you feel Jungkook's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug so tight, you never wanted him to let go.

“Don’t leave,” you mumble into his chest.

Jungkook reassures you by cooing a small, “I won’t”, but gently you pull away once he does, holding onto his hand instead. A look of confusion washes over his face.

“No—” you shake your head, realizing he’s misunderstood, “I mean don’t leave our apartment,” you sniffle, giving him a small warm smile, leftover tears still brimming the corners of your eyes. His mouth gapes slightly open, taken back by your statement. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be moving out by Monday.

“We—” you shake your head, deciding that “we” wasn’t the right word in this case, “I need you,” you state, nothing but sincerity behind your words. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat, the close-eyed soft smile that covers your face only making him smile in return.

He doesn’t need to say anything because you know … you know that he needs you just as much as you need him. You know that he’ll never leave your side from this day on because tonight was the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that included each other. Gently he pulls you into another hug, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest being a feeling he could get used to.

“How did you even know where the venue was, or what the time the whole thing was?” you ask Jungkook, questions that hadn’t crossed your mind that day now forming.

“Hobi sent me a text that same night, very um … straightforward?” Jungkook chuckles, “It read, Art Exhibition. **** Namgang-Ro. 7:30 PM. Formal attire. You either go or you don’t. Up to you. Just don’t go crying later on that you regret not going. And well I had debated for several hours, originally chickening out and deciding to use me not having any formal suits as an excuse. That was until I walked into my room to find that Hobi had ironed one of his own for me to use,” Jungkook explains, “And well luckily I grew some balls and went and well now we’re here,” he smiles at you.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cut off too much of the story. We still have to remember all the good that came afterward,” you giggle, and he only flashes you an even bigger smile.

“Ah you’re right, you’re right. How could I forget?”

October 2019. 

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

You see, tonight was Halloween, and for the first time since you and Hobi moved to your guys’  apartment, you were giving out candy to the little kids of your apartment complex who usually went floor to floor trick or treating and it was all thanks to Jungkook. You were surprised really, you would’ve never taken Jungkook as being someone who was such a kid at heart.

After weeks of begging, he’d finally managed to convince you and Hobi to not only dress, but distribute candy. Usually you and Hobi would turn off all the lights and ignore the knocks you’d receive on the door, choosing to have a movie night than to participate in Halloween festivities.

Realistically speaking, you sorta expected Jungkook to go out and party tonight which is why when he notified you weeks prior that all of you were going to be participating in giving out candy, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. Hobi on the other hand required a lot of convincing and though he wasn’t exactly helping with the distribution of candy, watching him dressed as Batman while lazily sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand was a gift in its own.

Jungkook, who desperately wanted to be a male version of Harley Quinn, had made you help him with cinching his crop top, exposing his toned lower abdomen every time he even stretched the slightest bit. It was…. quite a site … even causing several moms with their kids to “accidentally” stumble on your apartment floor again after only being there 10 minutes prior, your own little green monster finally making its appearance ….

But besides that, your favorite part of his whole costume was definitely the face/eye makeup he had done. The smoky blue and red along with the fake tatted heart under his left eye truly acting as the selling point of his costume. It just made him look very hot, more than usual. Hobi had even caught you staring at the boy on several occasions, teasingly nudging you whenever he did.

With Hobi dressed as Batman and Jungkook dressed as Harley Quinn, that of course only left you, who was currently dressed as none other than a female version of the Joker from Suicide Squad because despite how shitty the movie was, the style in which they made the Joker was still indeed very cool. Jungkook had even lent you his own natural artistic abilities to draw the tattoos where your dominant hand couldn’t firmly paint, laughing at the “twinsies” jokes you made in reference to his own tattoos. It had even given you the opportunity to ask him what each one of his own real tattoos meant to him.

Most of his tattoos, he explained, were done out of impulse. A majority of them being done in the states on a complete whim, but a couple of them held significant meaning to him. For example, his tattoo of a bandaged hand clearly represented his history with boxing. He explained that rather than get the overused boxing gloves as a tattoo, he’d get a simple bandaged hand done, deciding that it looked cooler and that you agreed with. Another example was the tattoo that translated to “Life Goes On” which was pretty self-explanatory, but meaningful nonetheless. Jungkook explained that it was one his favorite mottos growing up, and well recently it seemed to weave perfectly into his life.

But your favorite tattoo? The small One Piece manga strip he had across his left forearm. The story behind it almost caused you to shed a tear, had it not been for your white powdered makeup, you probably would've cried. You see, when Jungkook was a young boy he’d always watch One Piece as a distraction from boxing, falling in love with the story and its characters.

His dad, who’d always scold him whenever he caught him late at night watching the anime, never understood why Jungkook liked the show so much. It wasn’t until one night he somehow managed to convince his dad to watch the episode he was on, and despite not knowing anything about what was going on nor the characters’ names, his dad ended up loving the show just as much as him. The show had acted as a new bond between the two, from buying the latest manga volumes to staying up late at night to watch the newest episode. And well the strip on Jungkook’s arm was from the exact episode he had managed to convince his dad to watch with him that night. The tattoo serves as a representation of a memory he holds dearest to him, a memory of his dad.

“Ah I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook looks into the last bag of candy he had bought, absolutely nothing left inside, “Wasn’t this fu—”

“Let’s go get a tattoo,” you interrupt, the idea coming to you out of nowhere. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. A tattoo? You? Ms. I do not even have a dot of ink on my skin?

“A tattoo!?” Hobi turns from the TV, now having got his attention.

Both men stare at you in silence, thinking this was all some big joke until you begin to nod, reaffirming your choice, “Yes! All three of us! Matching roommate tattoos,” you smile, not exactly sure what had gotten into you, but surprisingly... completely okay with it.

Jungkook, noticing just how serious you were about this, begins to feel a smile form on his face. It wasn’t like he minded, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to regret it the next morning, “Y/N, you sure you one? I mean … you’re not someone I picture getting a tattoo, I mean think of your job,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, think of your job!” Hobi butts in, clearly not in favor of getting a tattoo.

Vigorously, you nod your head, “I’m one hundred percent sure,” you laugh, “I promise you, I won’t regret it,” you stick out your pinky finger, and Jungkook is quick to hug it with his own.

“W-What the?” Hobi stutters, unsure if it was the alcohol or shock in his system causing it. Probably both.

You turn to Hobi, “If you really don’t want it, then you don’t have to get it,” you shrug, “But at least come with us,” you smile, hoping that once you were there at the parlor shop you’d be able to convince him.

Sitting on the leather stool with your forearm displayed, the tattooist begins to prep your skin placing rubbing alcohol on the area in which you had chosen to get your tattoo. Now that you are here, you couldn’t lie, you were a bit nervous. But mostly because you were skeptical of the pain the needle would give you. 

Jungkook had described it as “a cat repeatedly scratching a sunburn”... as if you were supposed to know what that means. He also said that depending on your pain tolerance you’d either like the feeling, get used to it, or absolutely hate it. It just varied from person to person as well as the placement where you were choosing to get it.

Supposedly the inner wrist didn’t hurt, but with the sudden stinging sensation you were feeling, you were a bit unsure of that now.

“So is that your boyfriend out there?” the woman tattooing you suddenly asks, catching you completely by surprise. If she didn’t have a pricking needle against your skin , you probably would’ve jumped at the accusation.

Trying your best to keep your cool, you respond, “Oh um—” you shake your head, “No,” you awkwardly laugh, “I wish”, you think to yourself.

“Hmm,” she hums, the same smirk Jimin once gave you appearing on her face, “Sorta seemed like it out there, I mean I’m sure if he had the option he would’ve chosen to sit here right next to you and hold your hand,” she teases, and a blush appears on your cheeks.

“Oh that’s just how he is with everyone,” you reason, not wanting to feed into the delusions that Jungkook could possibly return any feelings for you, “He’s a very protective person, sometimes a little too much, but it has its benefits,” you joke around.

She shrugs, continuing to work on the small tattoo, “”Mm I don’t know, I mean the way with the way he looks at youuuu,” she sings, “because you clearly like him,” she laughs.

“No I don’t!” you pout, “We’re just close friends, that’s all….”

“Close friends don’t look at each other like that, and they’re certainly not as touchy as you two are,” she says, only causing you to scoff.

“You don’t know what you’re ta—”

“All done!” she smiles, wiping over the fresh new ink on your skin one last time, “Look how easy it was for me to get you to stop wincing so much,” she winks at you, and suddenly everything begins to make sense. She was trying to get you to relax. Was the topic she chose really the best one? No. But it worked didn’t it?

She places the plastic wrap over it, “So what do you think?” you stare at the new permanent piece of work on your skin, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Ah I—”

“Love it so much!” you flash Jungkook the two-month old ink on your skin, the digital numbers “00:00” acting as a permanent reminder of the day all three of you officially became roommates. It was small, yes, but to you it meant so much.

Jungkook pulls his own sleeve, showing you his own matching ink, “Zero o’ clock,” he hums, recalling a song he heard not too long ago on the radio.

“Ah too bad we couldn’t convince Hobi to get one,” you sigh, remembering how firm he was that night, “but we’ll get him next time,” you laugh.

Jungkook quirks his brow, “Next time?”

You nod your head, “I can see why people get addicted to these things,” you joke, “they’re like their own pieces of art,” you smile.

“Design mine next time,” he suddenly says, his statement coming off more as a command than a question. Turning to face him, you look for any small sign that he was joking.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “I think a watercolor style painting would look amazing rightttt,” he points to the side of his ribcage, “here.”

Eyes widening in shock, you’re in complete disbelief, “You—you’re crazy!” you laugh, refusing to take him seriously.

“Ah I’m being serious Y/N,” he pouts, “Come on you know you want toooo,” he sings, softly nudging you.

You stare at him for a moment, “Are you sure?” you ask, skeptical about his seriousness.

He nods, “As sure as you were about getting that tattoo that night,” he teases, and you only roll your eyes in return.

“Mmm,” you hum, “I’ll think about it.”

“Think?! I’m your roommate!” he dramatically complains, throwing his head against your shoulder, suddenly in a clingy mood. Maybe the tattooist was right… maybe you two were a little too touchy….

You mean, just last month during friendsgiving, Hobi just had to complain in front of everyone claiming, “If you two don’t get your own room—”

“Then I think at some point this turkey is going to come back alive just to tell you two himself,” he slurs his words, wine glass in hand.

Drunk Yoongi tags in, “How do you know it’s a he?” he squints his eyes, gearing up for a debate.

Hobi rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive motion with his hand, “Not now Yoongi,” he says, causing everyone sitting at the table to laugh, and he turns his attention back to you and Jungkook, currently sitting next to each other, “Are you two going to continue playing footsies or are you finally going to—”

Seokjin interrupts by awkwardly coughing and tapping his champagne glass with his fork, getting up from his seat in the process, “I think it’s the perfect time to do our annual “What am I thankful for” toast, so I’ll begin,” he laughs, all eyes on him, “So um this year I am thankful for all of my friends who continuously stick by side throughout the years, and for the wonderful woman I’ve grown to love more and more every day,” he warmly smiles at his girlfriend, the two already seeming like a married couple despite having only met this year. Seokjin turns his attention to Yoongi, signalling that it was his turn.

He groans before getting up, peeved as to why Seokjin always insisted on doing these things, “Okay okay—”

“This is gonna take a while,” you whisper to Jungkook, Yoongi’s speech now fading into the background.

Jungkook quietly chuckles in response, “You think? How long do you think it’ll take before he starts with his  “back in my day” speech?” he jokes around.

Suddenly Yoongi’s voice becomes more audible, “Back in my day we didn’t use—”

You and Jungkook snortle a laugh, “Not long,” you respond, the two of you trying your best to keep your snickering at a low.

“So … got anything prepared?” he asks, this being his first year and all doing this kind of thing, he was a bit nervous as to what to say.

You shake your head, “Mm no, you just sorta say what’s on your mind? I guess?” you awkwardly laugh, “Trust me, as long as they have their bottles of soju next to them, whatever you say will go in one ear and out the other,” you reassure, remembering the first year you did this and gave a heartwarming speech, just for it to be ignored because Namjoon could’ve sworn he’d seen the “turkey move”. From there it led to an hour debate on whether a dead freaking turkey could still possibly be alive after having it in the oven for several hours.

He nods his head, noting what you’ve said.

After going around it was now the last toast of the night,“Ah and lastly onto our newest member in this friend group,” Namjoon, who had just finished his own speech, turns to Jungkook and pats his shoulder, “take it away,” he gives him a dimpled smile before sitting back in his seat.  

Jungkook awkwardly blinks at him for a moment, not getting up until you nudge him to do so. “Oh yeah…” he forces a laugh, “Um so where do I begin,” you almost feel second hand embarrassment, if you thought you weren’t any good under pressure, Jungkook might take the crown.

“So… The first thing I want to say I’m thankful for are the new friends I’ve made since coming to Seoul,” he spares a glance to the boys, “um..” he bites his lip, “The second thing or person may I say, that I want to thank is Hobi…” he smiles at the drunk man, “well for giving me a second chance per say,” he chuckles, “I know I don’t say it often, but I’m truly grateful for you picking up my call that night,” Hobi gives a small warm smile, “And well the last person I want really want to mention that I’m thankful for is … you,” Jungkook suddenly turns his attention down to you, catching you by surprise.

Raising your eyebrows, you wonder where this is coming from, “I um—” he feighs a small laugh, “I know I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I first moved in, but—” he exhales a breath, “But you gave continuously gave me a chance to prove otherwise every single time until I finally got it right,” he smiles, “and well last year I had a pretty rough year,” he jokes around, “and honestly I thought coming in 2019 it’d be just bad, but you single handedly proved me wrong and made sure this was going to be a year for me to remember and well for that I’m forever grateful,” you silently blink away any tears, not wanting to get teased at for crying after this his speech was done. He breaks away the gaze he held on you in order to finish his speech off, “So with that I say … cheers everyone!”

Everyone raises their glasses of whatever it was they chose to drink, clinking it all in the middle and repeating “Cheers!” before gulping down whatever was left of their drinks. The rest of the night is filled with nothing but laughs and joy, as well as the remainder of the month, every single day creating a new memory for the three of you, until you were left with nothing but...

“The present day,” you whisper to yourself, unable to believe that the year had gone by so fast.

“What a year it’s been huh…” Jungkook softly smiles, glancing at the time on his phone which reads 11:50. 10 more minutes until the new year. 10 more minutes until zero’o clock.

“Yeah…” a comfortable silence fills the air around you, how had the hour gone by in the blink of an eye? You wonder if it’s the effect Jungkook just naturally has on people because never did you find time going by so fast unless you were with him.

“I—”

“So—”

Your cheeks become a tinge of pink , “Oh you go first—” he shakes his head.

“No, no, go ahead,” he laughs, insisting that you go instead.

This was the perfect chance, the chance to tell him about the feelings you’d grown to have for him in the past year. You just needed to grow the courage to say those three letter words that were itching to be said. It was either now or never.  

“I um, I just wanted to say thank you,” you chicken out once again, “I didn’t get the chance to say it on friendsgiving, but,” you gulp, “your speech it um meant a lot to me, and well I’m just as grateful for you,” you chuckle, “I think maybe even more.”

Had you noticed, you would’ve seen the slightly disappointed look on Jungkook’s face, “Oh..” he says, a small pout appearing on his face.

“What were you going to say?” you ask, faking the pep in your voice, ready to eternally scold yourself for being a chicken once you got back to the cabin.

He sighs, “It’s nothing really,” he shrugs, but you nudge his shoulder before he could divert the conversation elsewhere.

“Come on, just say it,” you tease, “because you either speak now or forever hold your piece,” you look at the time, “5 minutes till midnight.”

He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should say what had been on his mind for quite some time, “I um—” fuck it, it was either now or never, “You know how I told you that I couldn’t sleep right? That it’s why I came out here…” you innocently nod your head as he continues, “well it’s cause I had already sorta been thinking about everything that’s happened this year…” he lets out a small chuckle.

“I mean isn’t it crazy?” he pushes his hair back with his hand, “Someone who was nothing more than a stranger before the clock hit twelve that night is now someone I can’t picture not being in my life,” you feel your heart flutter at his words, “And I mean to think we didn’t get along at first,” he lets out a breath of disbelief, “All because I was a person who was—” he pauses, unsure of how to describe himself from that time, “angry,” he decides to say, “I was an angry person who mad at the world,” he bites his lip in retribution for his attitude back then.

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head, “you were just someone who was… hurt. That’s all it was,” you say.

“You think?” you nod your head yes, “I never really thought about it like that,” he mumbles, “Would you do it all over again?” he suddenly asks, and you find yourself quirking your brow at his question, “Like if you had the chance would you do it all over again…” he further explains.

Without a second thought you say, “Yeah I would,” you giggle, “And you?”

He remains silent for a moment, pondering on his own question before nodding his head as well, “I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again because then I’d get to relive the process of falling in love with you all over again,” he finally says, “I’d get to pinpoint the exact moment this year that I fell in love with you.”

“In ten, nine, eight…” the families around you begin to shout the countdown, and all you can do is stare at Jungkook in disbelief of what you just heard come out of his mouth.

“Y-You love me?” you manage to stutter out, a smile now forming on your lips.

“Seven, six, five…..”

Silently, he nods his head, a loving smile on his face as he leans towards you, the flutter in your stomach only intensifying.

“Four, three, two, one….”

And as if time had stopped, his lips finally meet yours and the only thing you could feel were the placement of warm lips against yours, giving you a New Year’s kiss that would be remembered for years to come.

“Happy New Year!” the sound of fireworks popping are echoed in the background because the only thing you could focus on were the soft lips that were moving with yours. His fingers curl around yours, creating such an intimacy that you were sure you had to be dreaming. It wasn’t until you found yourself kissing him back that the reality of everything finally set in. Jungkook loved you.

Slowly he pulls away, savoring the kiss till its very last moment, “Happy New Years Y/N,” he whispers, a grin plastered on his face.

Laughing in return, you smile, “Happy New Years Jungkook.”

**

Once you and Jungkook returned to the cabin, you were met with several complaints from Hobi, “Finally! We’ve been freezing all night!” Hobi exclaimed the moment you two walked in, harshly grabbing the firewood from Jungkook’s hands. It wasn’t until he peeped your linked arms that everything began to make sense, “Ahhh,” he gives you two a toothy grin, “You guys, look who’ve finally confessed to one another,” he yells, catching the attention of everyone in the living room.

Suddenly the room is filled with several “finally’s” causing both of your mouths to slightly agape open. “What do you mean “finally” ?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at Hobi for an explanation.

He scoffs, “Don’t act dense you two!” he laughs, “It was so obvious you two liked one another, you two were just too blind to see it yourselves,” he scolds both you and Jungkook by flicking your foreheads, “You just didn’t have to go confessing while all of us were freezing in here!”

Both you and Jungkook awkwardly laugh, a guilty look on one another’s face. “Well choo you two before I make you two clean everything up and babysit our friends!” Hobi makes a motion with his hands, and the two of you are quick to make your way upstairs into Jungkook’s room. Thankful that he didn’t punish the two of you.

Jungkook is quick to take off his puffy jacket, plopping himself onto the bed like a little kid, a loud breathy sigh following after. You stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, that is until you see him open his arms wide with a pout appearing on his face, “Come onnn,” he sings, “Let’s cuddle,” he shoots you a smile.

Playfully you roll your eyes before taking off your own jacket, plopping onto the spot next to him. Small feverish giggles escape your lips once he begins to give you tiny kisses all over, enveloping you in a hug so tight, it would’ve been impossible to ever doubt his feelings for you.

“Jungkook stop,” you laugh, the tickles he was now giving you making the sides of your stomach hurt, “Jung—” you attempt to push his hand away, face becoming red at just how much you were laughing, his own high-pitched laugh echoing across the walls of the room with you. From there he does a mixture of both tickling and kissing you, the two of you truly in your own world.

Soon though, your little game of tickles becomes a full on makeout session, not that you were complaining. Currently you lay under him with Jungkook leaning against you, using his arm that rested on the bed as support.

Slowly he slips his tongue into your mouth, gentle but demanding, nothing less than pure love behind the kiss. “Jungkooook,” you quietly whine once he begins to move onto your neck, every suckle lasting a little longer than the last. His hand interlocks with yours as he continues, you’re hand subconsciously playing with his hair from behind, making small twirls with the brown wavy locks of hair.

“I love youuu,” he cooes, a certain gleam to his eyes. Soon enough, his fingers were teasingly playing with the waistband of your leggings. And God, were you dripping. “Can I?” he innocently looks at you, licking his lips in the process. You’d be crazy to say no.

Nodding your head yes, he nudges your legs apart and begins to pull off the cotton fabric from your legs. You help him along the way, desperate to receive your own pleasure.

Teasingly, he swipes his index finger over the fabric of your underwear, continuing to pepper you with warm kisses on the underside of your jaw. The grip you had on his hair became tighter with every swipe, “Aren’t you wet?” he slyly chuckles, rubbing small circles with his placed finger.

“Stop teasing,” you whine, only causing him to muffle a laugh against your shoulder.

“I just wanna take my timeeeee,” he hums, placing a kiss to your cheek, “Can I take my time?” he pouts, only causing you to roll your eyes, agreeing nonetheless, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pecking you on the lips before continuing, cupping your cheek with his … unoccupied … hand.

“God you’re beautiful,” he says staring at your pleasured expression, a result of the friction between his finger and your underwear becoming more intense.

“Jungkook,” your voice shakes, wanting needing him to do something before the muscles in your leg spasm any more.

“Shh shh not too loud,” he softly mumbles, because considering how drunk the boys’ were, any loud noise and you’d have someone idiotically stumbling into the room in order to find out whatever the noise was. Not wanting you to complain any more, he slips his finger under your underwear, pressing both his middle and index finger to the centerfold of your sex, “Look how wet you are,” he smirks, coaxing another moan from your lips.

Jungkook couldn’t lie, he’d envisioned this moment a couple of times before, but to have it becoming a reality was completely different than what he imagined. It was indeed better.

“I bet you’d love for me to take these off,” he teasingly pretends to pull down your panties, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Please Jungkook,” you cry, how was it possible to already be on the verge of releasing when he hadn’t even done anything explicit yet? He begins to move his fingers up and down your clit, coating his fingers with your wetness, preparing to insert his fingers in your aching hole, “Please—” you attempt to whimper his name again, but his lips passionately kiss you before you get the chance to. It’s once he does that, that the energy in the room shifts, becoming one of playful teasingness to one of passion and love. It’s while he kisses you that he finally sinks his single finger into your pussy, your wetness helping him in gradually picking up the pace until soon enough he’s able to slip in another. Your moan being suppressed by the pressing of his lips against yours, softly nibbling on your lower lip.  

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, the squelching sounds coming from your pussy bringing him a sense of pleasure, “Can’t wait to make love to you,” he whispers watching as your eyes lazily roll back, the sight being one he’d remember for a very long time.

“J—Just like that Jungkook,” you manage to stutter out, your arousal dripping in and out of your pussy as he continues with his motions. By now you feel his hardened member kneading against panties, his self-restraint holding on by a string. God, did he wanna fuck your brains out already. Had you been some kind of one night stand and he probably would already be doing so, but you, well you were different. You were his. And he was going to make sure you knew it to.

With his other hand he begins to slide his way under your shirt, caressing your breasts while fingering you, “Take off the shirt,” he mumbles while planting kisses on your neck, and you’re quick to obey, pulling the shirt over your head and uncaringly throwing it onto the floor.

By now you were dressed in only your underwear and bra, which to you seemed a bit unfair and so purposely you begin to play with the hem of his shirt, in hopes that he’d get the message. When he doesn’t, you momentarily stop him from kissing you any further, mumbling a tiny, “Mm take off your shirt,” causing him to let out a breathy laugh. He does as told, exposing the toned torso you’d find yourself frequently gawking over for in the past year. Because truly, his body proportions were insane.

Gently pulling him from his hair, you deepen the kiss by running your other hand across his bare back, the warm skin to skin touch providing another level of intimacy. “Let me eat you out,” he murmurs against your lips, waiting for a simple three letter word so that he can finally pull off your panties.

Instead you give him a small “MmHm,” with a small nod which in this case would suffice as he was sure you were too lost in your own world of pleasure to properly respond. Delicately he removes your underwear, parting your legs in between before lowering his head.

Without saying a word, he runs his finger against your slit, licking and sucking on the fluid that dripped from his finger. What. A. Fucking. Tease. “Jungkooook,” you whine like a brat, the heat you felt below almost unbearable at this point.

“What a pretty pussy,” he rasps, gives your clit a gentle kiss before suckling against it, his saliva mixing with your fluids. Immediately you feel a wave of pure bliss, your fingers slightly trembling at just how good the sudden sensation felt.

“Oh God Jungkook,” you needily whisper once he slips his finger back inside, pushing it deep into your core all while eating you out. Your breathy moans along with the sound of your wet pussy being toyed around with, fill the room. With your eyes half-open, you manage to look down at the sight of Jungkook licking through your folds, his messy hair covering most of his face until you use your hand to push it back, wanting to savor the view in front of you.

“Just look at you,” he groans, admiring the view of your back arched along with your thighs which slightly quivered at the flicks of his tongue, “All fucking mine, you got that?” he asks.

When you don’t respond, he inserts a second finger, catching your attention.

“Yes!” you cry at the sudden jolt of pleasure, his fingers scissoring inside of you, “I’m all yours,” you answer and to that he smirks, curling his fingers inside you. His ego at a level unthinkable. From there he continues to suck and slurp any remnants of your wetness, ignoring your warnings that you were about to orgasm.

It isn’t until he feels a quick rougher than usual tug to the hair followed with a gentle release that he knows you’ve came. Only then does he stop, quickly making his way to sweetly kiss you as you ride through your orgasm. You barely manage to kiss him back, too overwhelmed by orgasm he just brought down on you.

He cups your face once again, making out with you once again even if you were lazily kissing him back, “Jungkook,” you croak out, “Make love to me,” you dazedly whisper, recalling his words from earlier, and without a single word he begins to kiss you again, this time even more passionately (if that was possible) your words triggering a certain fire within him. And despite being in a post-orgasm state, you kiss him with just as much passion as he is doing to you.

By now the two of your hands’ were entangled with each others’ hair, Jungkook roughly pressing his clothed erection against the barity of your pussy. Releasing one of his hands from his hair, he smoothly travels down your back, removing the clasp of your bra with his hand. Deciding not to question his skills, you help further remove it until you’re only left completely nude. Your tits now on full display for him.  

He soon begins to tenderly suck on your hardened nipples, one hand caressing the opposing tit whenever he was sucking on one, providing equal attention to both. You begin to play with the button of his black pants, desperately ready to have Jungkook completely inside you. Jungkook notices your lack of patience, deciding that just this time he’d give you what you want.

Pushing himself off you, he begins to unbutton his pants, your heart now beating out of excitement once you see the band of his black boxers. This was really happening. And though you’d seen Jungkook’s cock before, specifically with a woman having it wrapped inside her mouth, to see it this time around was definitely much more shocking than the first…. Was he always this big? The veins that run along his fair-colored cock only add to it’s intimidating appearance.

Pushing himself back on you, he sloppily kisses you all over, from your mouth to the side of your neck, slowly making his way downard. His cock teases the slit of your entrance, coaxing along the delicate folds of your pussy. Intertwining his hand with yours, he looks at you one last time, “You ready?” he breathes out.

Biting your lip, you slowly nod your head yes, his head then slowly pushing into your tight entrance, a groan coming from both of your lips, “God I fucking love you,” he breathily moans beside your ear.

“I love you too,” you whisper in return, his gaze never leaving yours as his cock tortuously enters you inch by inch, the grip you have on his hand tightening with every passing second, “Oh my god,” you whimper, his pre-cum along with your prior wetness making the push inside more bearable.  

It isn’t until you’re completely filled up by his cock that he slowly begins to move. Each and every deep thrust garnerning both whines and mewls from you, “Fuck,” he moans, his voice raspy from pleasurable sensation he was feeling. Somehow he manages to continue to plaster kisses all over you, his hands tightly wrapped around your waist as he continues to grind his hips against yours, making nothing but love to you.

Your hot walls now take him with ease, the small pressure you had originally felt having slowly faded away. He keeps his thrusts at a moderate pace, wanting to savor the moment.

“J—Jungkook,” you cry out, feeling your second orgasm coming as you wrap your legs around his waist. He begins to pick up his pace, “Faster,” you moan, remembering that he was definitely okay with having rough sex, considering how many times you’d have to hear other woman moan just how harder they wanted back in the beginning of last year. Who said he couldn’t do the same for you?

“Faster?” he questions, a certain spark now in his eye, “You sure?” eagerly you nod your head yes, too lost in the idea of your possible orgasm to think of the repercussions of your answer. Because soon you find yourself getting completely fucked out, the pace of his thrust becoming almost uncomparable to the pace he was going before, this time not caring at all for rhythm. By now you're sure that your different number of cries and moans could be heard from downstairs, but honestly you could give less of a fuck.

The sound of your skin slapping with his echo against the wooden walls, your eyes screwing shut as you felt your high come. His rapid thrust continuing as he fucks you into oblivion, “Just look at you, creaming on my fucking cock,” he groans, by now sweat was forming on the creases of his forehead, “and to think I get to have you like this all to myself, every single day,” he chuckles, the tight feeling in his abdomen signalling to him that his own release was coming.

“Cum in me Jungkook,” you whine, and with that he does, his white milky cum coating your walls from the inside and out. He admires the view in front of him, the sight of you completely fucked out with his cum dripping from the entrance of your pussy, wondering how he got so lucky.

Out of breath, the two of you cuddle with one another, your eyes half closed, ready to knock out at any moment. But before you do, Jungkook peppers one last kiss onto your cheek, mumbling a final “I love you,” ready for the new memories this year would bring for the two of you.

a/n : ahhhhhh! finally finished with my finals so i was able to finally get this done! for some reason i sorta got attached to this couple, i think it’s because we got to see literally every month of their forming relationship so i just ended up really loving the dynamic between the two lmao. butttt all stories must come to an end :( and i’m very happy with how this story came out, but who knows maybe we’ll this couple again in the future. anywayssss like, reblog, comment, message me an anon or even directly! anything is appreciated (I swear im not a mean person) and ill see yall next time! 💞 

mini taglist: @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ 

#btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bts fic #bts angst #bts smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook/reader #jungkook x reader #bangtan fanfic #jungkook two shot #jungkook one shot #jungkook complete fanfic #jungkook complete fic #safety net #Jeon Jungkook fanfic #Jeon Jungkook fanfiction #jeongguk fic #jeon jungkook #Jeongguk fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff

[jinkicake]

You Call Him Daddy?!

You accidentally call them daddy in front of the team. 

Aone Takanobu x Reader

Sawamura Daichi x Reader

For you, sweet Anon! I kinda rambled about Aone,,, uhhhh,,,, I just had so much to say about him! This is my first time writing for him and I had a lot of thoughts.... too many Aone thoughts..... I think his is the longest one I’ve written.... LOL bruh,, I was looking at my other posts and realized I have been spelling ‘accidentally’ wrong every entire time wtffff i-

SMUT

WC- 2,517

~~~

Aone Takanobu

Aone… is a service top,,,,, come on we all know he is

Like you cannot tell me this King wouldn’t treat you right, he is one of the ONLY haikyuu boys I would trust enough to marry

TBH mans doesn’t say shit and he isn’t going to say shit when you call him daddy in front of the team

The team though,,,, shit is going to go down like these mfs are going to combust

You have Futakuchi just standing there speechless with a proud look all over his face as he slowly starts clapping

And sweet Sakunami is like….. ‘did you guys hear sum….”

Ugh there is so much I could say about Aone….. like he would try to be sooo gentle with you just because he is a gentle person,,,, a sweet angel whose only concern is that no one will sit next to him on the train…. HOWEVER, despite as gentle as he tries to be this man still has power. Therefore,,,, you’re gonna get your guts rearranged, isn’t that nice?

Anyway,,,, let’s get into it!!

So basically….. it’s after practice and you’re there talking to Mai while waiting for the mf clowns to hurry up

And of course, Futakuchi wants to keep practicing a little bit so you’re like whatever fine,,,,,, since Aone was staying after too

You don’t really mind too much because Mai decided to stay a little longer as well but as soon as she left you grew tired fast, you had been sitting on the floor against the wall for over 40 minutes and all you want to do is go to sleep

You try to hold your tongue and not be rude because,,,, you don’t want to interrupt your boyfriend’s personal practice but gawwwwd were you bored

Instead, you innocently look around,,,,, innocently, however, your eyes keep going back to the tall blocker…. You glare at him so he notices your anger

Aone does and stares at you with a frown like he can’t figure out what he did wrong,,,,,,, you puff your cheeks out in retaliation

Behind him you see Futakuchi looking at you with a smug expression like 0.0 ,,,,,,, and then Aone looks at him disapprovingly

“What, I was just trying to join in on the conversation,” Futakuchi jokes and slaps Aone’s back before focusing back on the court

You’re like two seconds away from stomping your feet in retaliation,,,,, it’s nearly eight o’clock!!!

So with the anger of a very tired student, you begin walking around and cleaning up the stray balls

You start doing anything to hurry up their practice so you can finally leave with your boyfriend in tow, Sakunami gives you a thankful smile and you feel your irritation slightly diminish

There is something about the first year that you have just come to adore,,,,, not all first years though....

“Yo!” Koganegawa calls and you glance at him, your eyes widen when you notice the volleyball fly past your face. It misses you by a hair

You feel your eye twitch but still, inhale a deep breath to calm yourself down before turning to Futakuchi

“Kenji, when are you guys going to finish practice?” You ask sweetly and the captain looks deep in thought before shrugging

“I don’t know like 40 mins” He responds and you can’t help but whimper and gently stomp your foot, your boyfriend notices your change in attitude and glares at his friend,,,,,, “Fine like 10 minutes” Futakuchi groans and you have to hold yourself back from kissing your boyfriend senseless

That’s how you find yourself in the storage closet minutes later, placing the volleyballs in their respective corners

Aone follows closely behind you, not that you notice, and you nearly scream when you feel his arms wrap around your waist. Your boyfriend curls over your form to rest his chin on your shoulder, gently kissing your skin apologetically….. so he did pick up on the reason for your attitude!

You reach up and ruffle his light hair, giggling when you feel his smile against your neck

“Sorry I was acting so annoyed, I’m just really tired,” You tell him and his arms tighten around you

“That’s okay” Aone mumbles and you nearly melt, it isn’t often that you hear from him but when you do….. it makes you turn into a flustered mess

“I just wanted to go home, daddy” You whisper back quietly,, Aone pulls you flush into his chest and you squeak at the contact

However, when you hear a ball dropping behind you,,,,,,, you glance back in shock at the horrified first year

Sakunami opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, he slowly backs out of the closet and nearly trips when he runs away

“DADDY?!” Koganegawa mimics and Futakuchi pushes him out of the storage closet doors

“What are you talking about-“ He starts but cuts himself off but an impressed gasp when he notices your shocked face,,,, Futakuchi only smiles at his friends back and pretends to wipe a proud tear from his face

“You didn’t hear what you think you did….” You try and cover up but Koganegawa only repeats the word,,,,,, Futakuchi simply shrugs innocently

“I’ll give you your time alone,” He quietly closes the closet door and you sigh at the darkness

“Let me turn on a light-“ You start but Aone pins you to the nearest wall, his hands are gentle on your hips and you gasp at the suddenness of it all

“My love,” He starts and your eyes widen at the heat pooling between your thighs “stay quiet”

“Daddy, please. Please, please, please.” You beg, already taken over by pleasure. Aone continues to slowly thrust into you in a way that leaves you breathless and crying for more. His low grunts ring throughout the room and you whimper when you notice how his biceps flex with every thrust. 

Each stroke of his hard cock is so powerful that it nearly sends you into the headboard, you rake your nails along his ribs and tighten around him at the way his abdomen ripples under your touch. “I need more, daddy, please give me more.” 

Aone reaches down and rubs away the tears that spilled onto your cheeks with his thumb, he softly cups your cheek and leans down to kiss you. The kiss is a simple peck and you whine when he pulls away, however, your whines don’t last for very long. Your boyfriend picks up the pace and begins to snap his hips into yours, your breasts bounce with every thrust and you can’t help the way your voice shakes.

“Yes, yes, thank you daddy-“ You praise and moans of appreciation leave your lips so frequently, he is ruining you. There is something about the way he moves his hips so skillfully, how he thrusts into you so deeply but still manages to brush against your g-spot every time. It runs you up the wall and you’re so far gone you can barely focus on anything but him. 

Aone moves to rest on his forearms, leaning directly on his left side while his right hand reaches down to move your clit back and forth between his large fingers. His movements are slow and cautious, in a very teasing pace to build up the pleasure. Aone always winds you up so tightly before letting you snap, he is so focused on you. You mewl and arch your back, pressing your chest directly in his own, as he begins to rub circles into your clit. You open your mouth to say something but no words come out, that look in your eyes nearly makes his hips stutter and your boyfriend leans down to whisper his command.

“Cum.”

Sawamura Daichi

Let me start off by saying that all the captains have daddy kinks, no I will not be taking criticism

There is not ONE captain who doesn’t exude daddy energy…. I would love to see someone try to prove me wrong~~~ </333

Anyway,,,, Daichi is not called the dad of the team because he is mature and shit,,,,, no that is not the reason

Daichi is the daddy™ of the team, get it right, do I really have to explain this one

Like yessss feed us bitches who have issues with their fathers, yessss where my daddy kink bitches at? We are eating good tonight! 

Daichi isn’t my favorite daddy captain, it will always be Ushijima Kita, but lawwwwd he does make me act up

I thought about it for a while,,,,, how Daichi would react to being called daddy in front of his team and honestly,,,,, I don’t really know…..

His team is such a mess that instead of being embarrassed or anything he would have to calm them down because they’re losing their minds like he does not have the time to be embarrassed ya know

Daichi is a soft daddy,,,,, like come on you have a crazy mf like Sugawara and you expect him not to be soft 

Tbh I hardcore ship Daichi with that cute girl from the girls’ volleyball team like ugh her crush on him is sooooo cute,,,, idk why that is relevant I just wanted to point out how adorable and sweet they are ….. power couple!!

“He has a daddy kink,” Kiyoko points at the picture with the blonde in a yellow uniform, the two of you are going through the Spring High volleyball magazine

“Didn’t he hit on you one time, lucky bitch” You gasp dramatically and Kiyoko rolls her eyes before flicking your forehead,,,, it is only the two of you in the gym before practice starts

Your once shy friend is laid back and comfortable, out of her shell since it is only the two of you

“Daddy kink” She points to middle blocker daddy!matsukawa from Seijoh and you give her an approving nod

“Daddy kink” You then point to the ace ugh iwaizumi </3 and Kiyoko draws a heart over his face

“Daddy kink, daddy kink, daddy kink,” She begins pointing to numerous members from Seijoh “they all have daddy kinks”

“Somebody is eager,” You playfully flirt and she presses her fingers to your cheek to push you away

“Omg do Karasuno, please I need to know your thoughts!” You beg and flip to your own school’s team, Kiyoko looks at you cautiously before taking a deep breath in

She refuses to speak but points at Asahi and you nod in agreement “I believe so as well” You whisper and she chokes on her laughter

Kiyoko glances at you experimentally and then points at Daichi,,,,, she stares at you and watches as you try to hide your expression

“Well… not that I would know-“ You lie and she pushes your shoulder,, you dramatically stand up in front of her with your hands on your hips “Yes. He does have a daddy kink” and then Kiyoko laughs loudly, covering her mouth as she falls over and wheezes

“Girl fuck you, you expect me to fuck Daichi and not call him daddy?” You ask and she tries to wave you off

“(Y/N), I’m not judging-“ She cries, clutching her sides as you continue to scream random nonsense

“No, I do call Daichi ‘daddy’ and what about it? Tell me you wouldn’t also!” Your voice echos throughout the empty hollow gym and, not to your knowledge, outside the doors as well

Kiyoko continues to laugh loudly, her angelic laughter is something you know the second years would kill to hear, however when she glances at the open doors she immediately closes back up again

She grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit back down beside her, trying to act like you two weren’t just discussing what you call Daichi late at night

Someone clears their throat from the doorway and you glance up to see your boyfriend along with the other third years and a few second years

“H-Hey” your voice cracks and Kiyoko covers her face with the magazine to hide her laughter, her shoulders shake violently beside you “what are you guys up to?” You glance around the gym and try to ignore the silence

“Not much~” Sugawara sings and walks up to you, he grabs the magazine and points at himself before whispering, “daddy” he solidifies the secret with a wink and you burst out laughing

Kiyoko stands up and tries to hide her face into the wall to hide the way she is laughing so hard

“I can’t be here,” You choke and get up, walking past your boyfriend who stares at you with an emotionless expression

You know he heard everything~~

“Daddy,” You giggle as you continue to roll your hips on Daichi’s lap, you let out an exaggerated moan when you feel his cock harden beneath you. Teasingly you bite your bottom lip and flirt with his eyes, continuing to grind against him. Daichi simply ignores you and you move your lips to his neck, trying to get some sort of reaction from him.

You lick at his skin and release a muffled moan when you bite down on his skin. You’re acting so cocky right now, so driven by lust that you’re acting so foolishly in front of your boyfriend.

“Come on, fuck me.” You push your chest into his, purposely rubbing your breasts against him. Daichi leans forward and ghosts his lips over yours, pulling away whenever you get too close.

“Why should I fuck you when you’ve been nothing but naughty?” He asks and you bring your finger up to tap your chin before you laugh softly again.

“Hmm because I asked, daddy.” You lean up on your knees and press your lips to his, Daichi swiftly smacks your ass. His hand stings your flesh and you whimper but can’t help the smile that grows on your face from getting what you want. “Mmm just like that~” You laugh breathily and Daichi positions you down onto his thigh, you mewl at the feeling of his strong muscle pressed underneath you. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, teasingly he squeezes the sides of your neck and watches the way your eyes cloud up at. “Yes, daddy.”

You try to kiss him once more but you’re unable to move due to the hold he has on you. Daichi continues to bring his hand down and spank you over and over, his slaps are harsh but you happily take them as you feel the liquid pooling between your legs.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Daichi asks and his eyes narrow warningly at you, you pretend you don’t notice. You know he is referring to earlier today.

“I’m sorry, daddy?” You apologize but you can’t help but wonder if you really are sorry or not, you give him another cheeky smile and Daichi slaps your ass once more while cutting off your flow of air.

“You love your punishments, don’t you baby girl?” He asks and you nod eagerly. “I know, god, I’m going to fuck you so good.”

~ Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy @osamuonigiri

#Aone Takanobu x reader #Daichi Sawamura x reader #aone x reader #daichi x reader #aone smut #daichi smut #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut

[weelittleweasley]

crazy (f.w.)

prompt: something has been off between you and fred and trying to get to the bottom of it is madness.

pairing: fred weasley x fem! gryffindor! reader

warnings: mild language, crying, usage of marijuana, underage smoking, being high, dwindling relationships, angst

word count: 6.6k

taglist: @rosaliepostsstuff​ @harrysweasleys​ @gcdric​ @lumos-barnes​ @whizboingies​ @lumosandnoxwriting​ @pxroxide-prinxcesss​ @c-t-h​ @lol-idk-oops​ @another-lonely-heart-blog​ @parseltongueswriting​ @shilohpug​ @peachypotter​ @spacexcowgirl​ @paintballkid711​@vogueweasley​ @kaseyrose96-blog​ @hufflepuff5972​ @gryffindcrghost​ @wand3ringr0s3​

The snow melted away revealing the lush, green Scottish landscapes that the Hogwarts castle proudly sat upon. Spring had made its arrival with the eruption of white forget-me-nots and blossoming wildflowers in the courtyard. The sight from outside your window made your heart fill with glee as you smiled brightly, a lighthearted giggle dancing off your lips. You turned to your roommates with bright eyes and a hopeful smile. Alicia sighs mellow dramatically as you run over to her with pleading eyes, “It’s a beautiful day outside. Don’t you want to enjoy the first day of spring?” you dance around her as Angelina enters your dormitory with a big, bright smile. She had the same idea as you, no doubt. 

Alicia looks back and forth between you and Angie before surrendering, “Not too long please. I have an herbology exam and I need to do well on it.”

Without much more hesitation, the three of you are out of the dormitory and scurrying down the stairs. “We’ll be surrounded by the grass and the flowers and the trees; that oughtta help with studying, won’t it, Angie?” you tease as Angelina laughs in agreement, earning a sarcastic eye roll from Alicia. Finally, a warm day outside after the brutal and unforgiving winter. The sun was out, the grass was green, and the air was fresh with renewal. Spring was here.

As you walk through the common room, you stop in your tracks when your eyes land on Fred, your lips involuntarily turning up into a smile when you see him. Angelina and Alicia run ahead of you as you grab Fred’s hands with a smile. “Freddie!” you beam, looking at him with a happy grin, cheeks tingling from smiling hard.

He reciprocates a smile and places a kiss to your forehead. “Excited to see me, darling?” he teases. “Where are you lot off to?” he asks, resting one of his hands on your hips, looking down at you as you excitedly rock back and forth on your heels. Your lips are curled into a smile as you bite onto your bottom lip, lovingly looking at your Fred. “Take a picture, sweetheart, it’ll last longer,” he whispers, teasing you as you roll your eyes with a light swat to his chest, making him chuckle.

“We’re off to go outside. It’s beautiful out and we figured we would enjoy the weather,” you tell him as he tilts your chin up with this forefinger, rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. You giggle lightly before biting his thumb gently as he chuckles. “You want to come with us?” you ask hopeful for his response.

Much to your dismay, Fred sighs, “I’m afraid I can’t. I have loads of work to catch up on today. I’m way behind in Potions.” You pout, displeased with the news, but Fred kisses your pouted lips which brings an instant smile to your face. “I’ll catch up with you later though, alright, darling?” You give him a small nod before he pecks your forehead and leaves you, catching up with George who waits for him at the bottom of the steps to the boys’ dormitories. 

You run off, catching up with Alicia and Angie, linking your arms with them as you make your way outdoors. As soon as you step outside, the spring air fills your lungs, smelling of fresh grass and morning dew. A small smile forms on your lips as you happily sigh. Springtime made your heart soar. It reminded you of good things, happy memories. Running in the grass as you played games of tag as a child, going to the park and getting pushed on the swings as you swung higher and higher. Spring reminded you of laying underneath a tree, Fred’s head in your lap as you brushed through his hair, reading a book out loud to him as he happily shut his eyes, listening to the sound of your voice mixing with the springtime breeze. 

Angelina immediately makes a run for a grassy patch covered with beautiful wildflowers, laughing in the process as you and Alicia run after her. All three of you immediately flop down, the grass molding to the shape of your bodies as you lay back, staring at the pale blue sky filled with cotton ball clouds. As if on cue, the three of you sigh out. “This is nice,” you speak as Angie hums in agreement. “Aren’t you glad you came, Alicia?”

Alicia sighs, “Yeah, I guess.” You push her arm teasingly, making her retaliate, “Okay, okay, yes. This is very nice. Thank you.”

The three of you lay in the grass for a long while, making quiet chatter. At one point, you start picking flowers, tying the stems together to create a crown for each of you. You skillfully plaited the stems of the purple, yellow, and white wildflowers before placing the crown on your two friends’ heads. With the other flowers you found, you started plaiting again, this crown for Fred as you smiled to yourself, quietly making your masterpiece. 

“For Fred?” Alicia asks you as you nod your head, not looking away from the plaits. “Jeez, (Y/N), you’re like a lovesick puppy.” 

This earns a slap on the arm from Angelina, a small ouch dropping from Alicia’s mouth. “I think it’s sweet, (Y/N),” Angie beams at you as you roll your eyes, knowing she found it tooth rotting-ly sick like Alicia did. But you didn’t care. It was the small things that you did that made Fred know that you loved him. Small kisses in between classes, closing his textbook for him when he needed a break, offering a hug when he was stressed, sneaking out of class to meet him in the hallway. It were the little things that made Fred fall in love with you and you with him. Although a flower crown may be silly, it was just a token of affection. To show him that you were thinking of him while you were outside.

Recently, you’ve been doing little things more often just because of how busy Fred seemed to be. Your hang outs have been getting cut short and he doesn’t seem to have as much free time anymore. Whether it’s quidditch practice, studying for exams, or running off to pull pranks with George, you always catch him when he’s busy. It was a little frustrating, feeling like your boyfriend had been casting you aside and taking priorities over something else. But rather than telling him how you felt, you convinced yourself that this was just temporary and it would phase itself out. But a month had gone by, and nothing changed. But you still hadn’t brought it up to him. Instead, you continued doing little things.

Alicia groans, peeling herself off of the fresh grass, shielding her eyes from the setting sun. “I should probably head back inside now to study. The exam is this week and I still have a lot of work to do,” she huffs before standing from the grass, brushing off her skirt as you and Angelina follow her lead.

You link arms with Angelina as Alicia leads the way. Angelina looks at you, as you play with Fred’s flower crown in your hands. “You alright?” she asks you as you look at her with a small nod. “You seem gloomy.”

You think for a moment. You could tell Angelina about the situation, but you didn’t want to drag your friends into your relationship problems. She could talk to Fred, but why would she talk to Fred when you could? With a shake of your head, you speak, “I’m alright, Angie. Thank you for checking in though.”

She hugs you to her side, “Of course. You are one of my best mates, I just want to make sure that you’re happy.” You nod your head and walk back into the common room. 

Alicia and Angie start to the girl’s dorms as you part from them, towards the boy’s. “I’m gonna go to Fred’s. I’ll catch up with you lot later,” you smile at them with a wave before heading up the stairs to Fred’s dormitory. Nervously, you play with the flower crown in your hands, twisting it in between your fingers. You were hoping that you and Fred could finally have some alone time, hoping that George and Lee wouldn’t be in the room. It had been a long while since you had alone time with Fred. Even then, the last time was short lived, Fred leaving your room earlier than you had planned thanks to quidditch practice. 

When you reached his dormitory, you lifted your hand up to knock, but stopped when you heard laughter coming from behind the door. There were a few people in the room. You could hear Fred’s voice, but also a handful of others in the room. Your heart sank as you listened to the muffled voices behind the door, having a laugh with each other. Did Fred leave you out intentionally? You were friends with the same people in your year which made no sense as to why he didn’t tell you of this hang out. You got along with everyone just fine. 

You shake it off and knock on the door which causes all the voices to halt suddenly. You are so tempted to press your ear to the door to listen to the low whispering before you hear footsteps approach the door, the lock turn, and the door creak open to reveal Fred at the door. “Hi,” you speak timidly as Fred smiles.

But instead of swinging the door open as expected, Fred slithers out from the door and closes it behind him. “Hi, sweetheart,” he coos to you as you feign a smile. You look behind him at the door, wondering what could be happening behind it. “I didn’t expect you,” he interrupts your thoughts as you look at him.

“Well, you did say we would catch up later...and it’s later,” you chuckle as Fred smiles. “Um,” you stutter before formulating a sentence, “I, uh, are you busy now? I thought that maybe we could go out into the courtyard and grab a blanket and watch the stars? It’s supposed to be clear out tonight. Perfect for stargazing.” You had come up with this idea off the cuff, testing him. If he said no, he could invite you in to where he was clearly hanging out with some people already. If he said yes, it meant he was willing to ditch whatever was going on inside to be with you. 

Fred gives you a sad smile. “That sounds lovely, but I’m afraid I’m slammed with work tonight,” he tells you as your heart falls. You wait for him to invite you inside to his room with the obvious group he had. But he mentions none of it. “But I promise I’ll make it up to you. Soon,” he explains, kissing your hairline as you gulp, trying to keep cool. “What’s this?” he refers to the flower crown on your head with a giggle as you lightly force a smile on your lips to cover your disappointment.

“It’s, uh, a flower crown. I made them in the field. I made one for myself and Angie, and Alicia, and I actually m-”

“I hate to cut you off, my love, but I really have to get back to work,” Fred interjects as you stand there, mouth agape and eyes filled with pure confusion. “I’m sorry about tonight, darling, but I have to get going. I’ll see you soon, I promise. Love you,” he kisses your parted lips before slipping back behind the door, leaving you speechless and upset.

The flower crown in your hand suddenly looks very wilted as you sigh at the sight of it. You gulp hard, trying to keep calm and collected, but you can’t help but feel so disappointed. And lied to. Fred obviously had people over in his room and he didn’t tell you about them when you gave him the opportunity to.

Even more upset than before, you walk down the stairs and back to the girl’s dormitory, throwing Fred’s wilted crown in the garbage in the process. With low spirits, you walk back into your dormitory to see Alicia reading a textbook on her bed while Angelina laid on the floor, painting her nails, both shocked to see you back so soon. But before they could ask you why you simply stated, “He was busy.”

You take off your jumper and change into a fresh shirt and comfortable sweatpants as Alicia closes her textbook and sighs. “(Y/N), is something going on between you and Fred?” she asks you as you face away from them, changing. As you fold your clothes, you try your best to not let your sad thoughts get the best of you. “The two of you seem a little off lately. Can we help?” she asks, but that’s when it gets to you. You couldn’t hide the fact that something was happening between you and Fred and not something good. This distance, the feeling like you were oceans away, was starting to show to the outside eye.

Without bothering to cover it up, you let a small sob escape your lips as you turn around to face your friends. Both of them rise to their feet to comfort you as Angelina wraps her arms around you, pulling you closer as Alicia rubs your back. You cry in Angie’s arms, speaking through small sobs, “I just can’t help but feel worried for us.” The two of your friends listen to you intently, not wanting to miss a single beat. “Why do I let myself worry wondering what in the world did I do?” you cry out. You can’t help but feel like you did something wrong that made Fred cast you aside. 

You peel yourself from Angelina’s embrace you as you wipe your eyes with the cuff of your clean shirt. “I’m so sorry you feel like this, (Y/N). You don’t deserve any of it,” Alicia says. “He’s behaving like a child,” she shakes her head as you sniffle, Alicia still rubbing your back.

“It’s not even him behaving like a child. I’ve grown used to that. It’s just...” you sigh out, running your hands over your face. “I came to his room and there were people there...and he was hiding them from me. He came out into the hallway to talk to me and he didn’t invite me in when I knew there were people inside. He’s just become so...sneaky for some reason. And that’s not the Fred I know,” you trail off, thinking about how unlike Fred this was. “I feel crazy for feeling so lonely.”

The thought of Fred becoming someone you didn’t recognize made your stomach feel queasy and your chest feel tight. You fell in love with a wild, goofy, happy person who loved spending time with you. And now...now you barely even saw the boy to know what he was like.

Angelina looks at you with sad eyes, “Hey. You’ve got us.” You give her a sad smile and nod your head. She was completely right; just because your boyfriend didn’t want to hang out with you all the time didn’t mean that you didn’t have other people in your life. “Now let’s dry those eyes and enjoy the night. I’ll finish painting my nails and then we can do yours. After that, I say we sneak into the kitchens and get some snacks and head up to the astronomy tower. It’s supposed to be a clear night and that means it’s a great night for star gazing,” she suggests with a hopeful smile as you sniffle, a small smile emerging on your face.

You look to Alicia, an excited gleam in your eyes, looking for her answer. She sighs in defeat, “Yeah, I’ll join. But if I get a shit mark on this test, it’s you two’s fault,” she points a warning finger at you as you giggle.

“Thank you, the both of you,” you tell your two best friends. This was exactly what you needed. A night with your two best friends enjoying the views of the crystal clear night sky. It was exactly what you needed to get your mind off of your relationship with Fred. 

Soon enough, Angelina had finished painting her nails and Alicia had finished cramming in some last minute studying. “You sure that you’re ready for the exam, Leesh? Because if you’re not, we can do a different night!” you try to sympathize with her.

Alicia shakes her head, “Nah, I should be fine. Besides, I sit next to Longbottom. If worse comes to worse-”

“Alicia!” Angelina laughs as she just shrugs as the two of you leave your dormitory room, headed for the kitchens. “Alright you lot, come on now. And remember to keep,” Angelina speaks in a hush whisper as you tip toe into the kitchen, but halting in your tracks when you realize you’re not alone, “quiet.”

Standing in front of you is a laughing Katie Bell as she stands in between the legs of Fred who is sat on top of the counter, munching on a chocolate biscuit. The two of them are a giggling mess as you spot George and Lee raiding the cupboards for more snacks. But the laughter dwindles down as Fred’s eyes land on you. When his chocolate eyes meet yours, your heart falls onto the ground. He was busy, eh?

Alicia looks at your reaction and what she sees is the look of heartbreak. Anger starts to bubble in Alicia’s chest when she notices how upset you are. Without further hesitation, she claps her hands. “Alright, you lot. The kitchens aren’t just for you. Come on. Give it up,” she walks further into the kitchens, plucking snacks as she sees fit, one of them being the biscuits that Fred had in his hand. She immediately sticks the treat in her mouth before Fred can protest. “Thanks, Weasley,” she says with a mouthful of chocolate biscuit. 

You on the other hand stay put where you are, eyes glued on Fred and his on yours. Your eyes stare into his soul and you can feel how uncomfortable he is with you catching him redhanded. His eyes are like magnets, not letting you pull away from him. It’s like you’re in a trance and he’s trying to send you a mind message. But before he can say anything, you shake your head and break eye contact. Angelina mutters something under her breath as she walks towards Alicia to help her with snacks, but you can make out her saying something along the lines of how pathetic. 

Walking into the kitchens, following Angelina, you grab a bag from Alicia filled with snacks. As you turn around, you bump into George who is a giggling mess. “(Y/N)!” he exclaims as you sigh and give him a curt smile. “I haven’t seen you in forever,” he whines as you look to Angelina for help with wide eyes. “Is Freddie keeping you all to himself again?” he teases you, wiggling his brows.

But as you look at his eyes, you see how bloodshot they look, how droopy and tired his eyes are. He sports a lazy smile and a giggle keeps reverberating in his chest. You furrow your brows, “Are you...are you high, Georgie?” you ask him.

He scoffs, “Me? High? Pffft, no!” You give him a look. “Okay, yes. I am.” You look to Angelina and gulp, wanting to leave now before things got ugly. “Freddie, I miss (Y/N). Where have you been hiding her?” George calls out to her brother who remains seated on the counter, staring at you the whole time.

Fred opens his mouth to say something, but you speak before he can, “You’ve been really busy, huh, Freddie.” He just sits there and stares at you. “Thank you for being honest with me.” Your eyes divert and see Katie who stands in between his legs, hands placed on his knees. The sight makes you feel sick. “Very important business to attend to, you know? Keeping up with Potions homework. Maybe Katie can help.”

Not wanting to wait in the kitchen any longer, you start out with Alicia and Angelina not too far behind. Fred calls out your name, once, and then twice when you don’t respond. When you’re out the door, you call back, “Talk to me when you’re sober.”

You, Alicia, and Angelina walk out of the kitchens and through the castle, the energy between the three of you noticeably shifting as anger, hurt, and sadness bubble in your bones. Angie speaks, “(Y/N), you wanna ta-”

“No. I want to watch the stars with my friends. That’s all.”

Alicia and Angelina share a look as you continue to march your way to the astronomy tower, trying to enjoy what is salvageable of your night.

-------------

The next morning, the emotions you felt from last night are only amplified. The night under the stars with Angie and Alicia was lovely, but you couldn’t help your mind from wandering to the sight of Katie next to Fred, his eyes glued on you. You felt sick. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions without hearing the full story, but your gut was telling you something wasn’t adding up. The relationship wasn’t what it used to be, but this...this was something you didn’t think would ever happen.

As you sit up in bed, you run your hands over your face in distress, trying to figure out how to approach the situation. Angelina and Alicia are still fast asleep, so there was no use asking them for advice. You were on your own with this one. 

“Get dressed and then you can think of something,” you whisper to yourself. You hoist your legs over the side of your bed and stand up, stretching your arms out with a yawn. “You can deal with Fred later.”

And as if on cue, there was a knock at your door. You look at the clock. It was only nine in the morning on a Saturday, who was up this early on a day off? Slowly, you make your way to the door and speak from behind it. “Who is it?”

“It’s, uh, me. It’s Fred, (Y/N),” the voice speaks as you close your eyes, silently cursing to yourself. Shit. “We need to talk about last night and what happened in the kitchens.”

You remain behind the door, hand on the door knob, but not moving it. You knew you had to talk to him and sort this whole thing out whether you liked the ending or not. 

“Please, (Y/N).”

Taking a deep breath in, you open the door gently to reveal a messy haired Fred in a t-shirt and sweatpants, still groggy from sleep or lack thereof. He gives you a weak smile, “Good morning, darling.”

But his pet names didn’t bring a smile on your face like they normally did. Instead, they made your stomach sour as you just looked to the floor, pulling your jumper closer to your body. “If you want to talk, we can’t do it here. Angelina and Alicia are sleeping and I’m not disturbing them,” you speak plainly, looking up at Fred with cold eyes. 

He bites the inside of his cheek and speaks, “We can go into my room if that’s alright with you. George and Lee went down for breakfast.”

Even though you would have preferred to have this talk in your own room, your own space, it was better to do it in the privacy of Fred’s rather than having to wake up and shoo Angelina and Alicia, or worse, talk as they were asleep. Begrudgingly, you shut the door behind you and follow Fred to his dormitory, a familiar route to you, but one you’d rather not be taking now. 

The walk there is quiet and awkward. It is obvious that Fred is trying to make light of the situation, asking you how last night was with the girls, asking you about the day in the grass and how the weather was. But instead of engaging in conversation, you just give him one word answers or remain silent. 

When you reach his room, he opens the door for you and you step into his dormitory, immediately feeling like an outsider. It was unfamiliar. This room was where you spent most of your time for so long, but since you hadn’t been here in nearly a month you felt out of place. Like you were disturbing it. You were an intruder. 

Fred taps his legs before sitting on the bed, expecting you to follow suit, but you remain standing in the middle of the room, staring at him in your pajamas. “I just want to apologize for last night and you having to see me like...that,” he sighs as you remain unfazed by his words. “I should have told you that the boys and Katie and I were hanging out instead of telling you that I was working. It was wrong and I feel like shit about it...I’m sorry, love. I really feel like a dickhead,” he apologizes to you as you fold your arms across your chest. “The truth would have been so much easier to tell you rather than lie about something as silly as a group hang out. I just didn’t tell you because the boys were complaining that they never see me anymore because of how much time we spend together and I figured that if I didn’t tell you, you wouldn’t ask.”

You give him a look that just screams, you’re kidding me, right? You were busy hanging out with him? For Merlin’s sake, you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in almost a month and that was his apology? Rather his excuse? “They haven’t seen you? Fred, I haven’t seen you in nearly a month! Every time I try and ask you to hang out with me or even talk to me you have something to do. Quidditch, pulling a prank with George, hanging out with Lee, studying for an exam. Don’t try and make this about me and my demands because it’s not,” you retort to him as he just sits on the bed and stares up at you as you vent. “Not to mention, since when has you dating me ever stood in the way of you hanging out with your friends? If you wanted to hang out with them so badly, then you should have told me and I still would have said yes, Fred! I’m not a monster who wants you all to herself, but Godric, I’m sorry that I’ve miss my boyfriend!”

Fred rubs his face and simply says, “Well, I have been busy over the past couple of weeks, so that’s not rubbish.”

You laugh at his response. “That’s all you have to say for yourself?” you exclaim. “Fred, I’ve been driving myself crazy over the past few weeks wondering what I did wrong. Why you pushed me aside, why you’ve tossed me away like I’m a piece of garbage!”

“That’s not true, (Y/N). Come on,” he shakes his head, looking away from you.

Now, you are getting angry. He was going to pretend like him ignoring you and denying you for a month was nothing. That’s not how things worked. “Yes, it is, Fred and you know it!” you cry out, not realizing how loud you’ve gotten. “I don’t know what is happening between us, but whatever it is, I don’t like it,” you confess.

Maybe it was your emotions talking, but you couldn’t help but feel like Fred didn’t mind the distance between you two. Maybe he liked not being as close. Maybe he wanted to have more alone time away from you. But the thought of losing Fred, someone you had loved so dearly, so intimately, made you feel lightheaded. 

Fred stands up from the bed and you think he’s going to walk over to you and give you a hug, which you know you would gladly accept. You need his comfort right now. You need him to scoop you up and tell you that everything is going to be alright and that he’s sorry for making you feel so lonely and sad. But instead of him telling you all the things you want, no need, to hear, he speaks something different. “Maybe we’re just growing apart,” he suggests.

You turn to face him with so much hurt and pain in your eyes it was enough to shatter his heart twice. Your vision becomes blurry with tears as you swallow, pushing the lump in your throat down, blinking your tears away. What was happening? “We’re w-what?” you stutter.

“Growing apart,” he repeats. “(Y/N), we’re going to be graduating soon and we’re going to have to start thinking about what we want out of life. I don’t know if we want the same things,” he tells you as your heart is ripped out of your chest and stomped on at his words. All you can do is laugh in disbelief. “I’m serious. You always told me how after you graduated here you wanted to go back to school and become a Healer and have a family and move away from England...I just...Merlin, I don’t know how to say this...”

“Then don’t,” you cut him off as Fred looks at you, tears streaming down your face now. What he was saying to you know completely contradicted everything he had told you in the past. When you and Fred spoke of the future, he always spoke of you in it. He told you how he wanted to buy a house in the countryside and raise a big family together and take holiday vacations to America and do weekly visits to the Burrow. Fred always told you that no matter what happened, he wanted you in his future. And now, that was revealed to be a lie. “Fred, I don’t care about Healer school or moving away from England. What I want is you,” you tell him as you feel your chest tighten with pain. Now Fred’s eyes start to blur with tears as you look away from him, pulling at the roots of your hair in distress. It was like he changed overnight. “What...what happened, Fred? What happened that all of a sudden you tell me our futures don’t align?”

Fred wipes tears away from his eyes and takes a deep breath in. “It’s, um, it’s a long story, but um...the joke shoppe...it looks like it’s going to happen,” Fred tells you with a lighthearted chuckle. “Harry gave George and I the winnings from the Triwizard tournament to open up the joke shoppe. It’s happening. That’s why I’ve been distant these past few weeks. George and I have been planning like crazy for it. Testing products, crunching numbers, ordering stock, finding a location in London,” he rambles on. “Last night, the lot of us were testing out an...adult product and we didn’t realize the effects it would have...so that’s why we were like that in the kitchens.” 

His words make your heart swell for a moment. Fred’s dream was coming to fruition. His own joke shoppe. A place he could call his own with his best friend and twin brother. He could finally start creating the life he wanted and you couldn’t be happier for him. Except it seemed like that life he wanted didn’t have you in it. And that’s when your heart stopped swelling.

You nod your head, “That’s...brilliant, Fred. I’m so happy for you. Really. About the joke shoppe...that’s great news.” Fred gives you a hopeful smile, thinking that the worst was over. But it hadn’t even begun. “But, I don’t understand why you had to hide it from me. Did you think I was going to be upset with you? You know that I’ve wanted this for you just as badly as you have,” you tell him with the utmost sincerity which Fred knew to be fact. “You just couldn’t have me know about it for what reason exactly?”

Fred scratches the back of his neck before pacing around his room, trying to avoid the question, but you weren’t going anywhere. “I just...ugh,” he groans and throws his head back. “I just didn’t think that you would be interested. Besides, I need to focus on my work. I can’t have any distractions,” he says this last part without looking at you.

Your stomach is doing somersaults and you feel like you’ve just been lied to your entire relationship. Fred thought that you wouldn’t be interested? How was he going to determine what you were and weren’t interested in? “You’re joking,” you speak. “Fred, I will and always will support everything you do. I can’t believe you’d even think that I wouldn’t be interested in something you are so clearly passionate about,” you tell him as he gulps, knowing he was in the wrong for making such a claim. Even after all of these explanations of him ignoring you and diverting his attention elsewhere, there was something that just didn’t add up. “So, you asked Katie Bell to help test out products with you? Instead of me. Or Angie, who is seeing George. Or Alicia, who Lee has been flirting with since the dawn of time.”

Fred becomes visibly uncomfortable at the mention of Katie’s name and that’s when you shake your head, the whole thing becoming very clear to you know. This wasn’t about the shoppe anymore. This was about something else. “It was never like that, (Y/N),” Fred speaks.

“It was never like that or you never intended for it to happen?” you ask him, your voice cracking as you pace back and forth in his bedroom. He was distant with you because he was falling out of love. That was it. “Good Godric, I feel like I’m going crazy,” you let out a shaky laugh, unable to believe what was happening. The story just kept on unfolding.

Fred walks over to you quickly, trying to calm your fears, “Nothing happened between us! I swear on my life!”

You let out a laugh, “Sure! That makes me feel better!” Fred gulps. “But there was something that was there enough to make you push me away,” you speak lowly as Fred searches your teary eyes for something. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for; hope? forgiveness? love? friendship? You start pacing the room again, the venomous thoughts coming into your head as they vomit out of your mouth, “You know people told me not to get involved with you because you were a flirt, Fred. But I told them that you were different with me. You saw a future with me, but now I am proven wrong,” you tell him as he shakes his head in disbelief, trying to get you to stop talking, but you don’t. The words just tumble out. “I knew you’d love me as long as you wanted. And then someday, you’d leave me for somebody new,” you spill. “I just didn’t think that this someday would come so soon.”

“I don’t want Katie, (Y/N)! I don’t! Godric! I don’t!” he yells out. “(Y/N), I love you! You know that!” he screams as you just cry harder at his words. Over the past month, you didn’t feel his love. It felt like a chore to get an I love you out of him. “I’ve been distant because I’ve been working hard for my dream! My future! Why can’t you understand that I’m working for something I want!” he yells.

And the truth comes out.

Instinctively, you yell back, “Because how am I supposed to understand something you never told me! You never told me about the joke shoppe and your plans for it! Hell, you never told me Harry gave you the money! How am I supposed to support you when you don’t tell me how I can?!” you yell through tears. “Don’t you hear yourself! Your dream! Your future! You want! What about us?”

The both of you are crying now, you covering your mouth to prevent sobs from escaping, Fred sitting on his bed, hanging his head in his hands, sniffling. This all blew up so quickly and neither of you knew how to recover from this. The damage that the past month had caused was enough to put a gaping hole in your relationship that would be very hard to cover up. That was if you wanted to cover it up.

It’s silent for a while. The air is still and untouched. Fred on the edge of his bed, you sitting on the floor, back resting against the door. You want to get up and leave the room. But you don’t. You sit there. And think. 

And then Fred speaks. “Our futures don’t fit together,” he looks at you, eyes swollen and red matching yours. “We’ve tried to make them fit. But it won’t work.”

You laugh and shake your head, “Freddie...then you haven’t listened to anything I’ve ever told you.” He looks at you, twisting his face with confusion. “All I’ve ever wanted was you. I don’t care what happens after we graduate. Healer school was an idea. But you? You were never an idea. You were something I always wanted,” you confess as Fred gives you the saddest smile you’ve ever seen. “But if I’m not in your future...then...” you trail off, unable to finish the sentence. It was a nightmare. 

It’s silent again. 

But the longer you sit in silence, the more angry you get. Not at Fred. But at yourself. If you had known about what he wanted, what Fred wanted, you could have avoided all of his heartbreak and pain. But instead, Fred fed into your fantasy, this dream, this hazy future of yours and you let him. “I’m crazy,” you laugh as Fred look up at you. “I’m crazy for thinking that my love could hold you.”

Fred shakes his head, “No, (Y/N). You’re not. I love you and I always will.”

“Please don’t tell me that,” you close your eyes and bite down on your bottom lip to prevent the tears from falling again. You couldn’t let yourself hope for a future that didn’t exist with Fred. “This was never going to work. I’m crazy for trying,” you breath out before standing and brushing yourself off, Fred rising with you. “I’m crazy for crying,” you wipe away the remaining tears on your face.

Fred walks over to you as you place your hand on the door. “(Y/N),” he starts, “I never wanted us to end like this. You mean so much to me and I can’t just let you go like this,” he starts crying again, but you have to peel your eyes away. “We want to different things and we both deserve to be happy. Don’t you think?” he asks you. But his question sounded like he needed the reassurance from you. That he needed you to tell him that you agreed. To make it seem like you both wanted this break up.

Looking at Fred once more before you leave, you say, “We do want different things. You want your dream and I want you. But I can’t pretend like I’m happy that we are going our separate ways.” Fred nods his head, wiping his tears away. “I need space. And time. Away from you, Fred.”

And with that, you leave his room and start down the stairs back to your dormitory. You hide your face as best as you can from passing Gryffindor students, trying to be as incognito as possible. As you walk back to your room, you can’t help but think back on all of the happier times that you and Fred shared and think was it a lie? Was it all for show? It would be something that would keep you up at night. 

You were crazy about Fred Weasley, that was for certain. But even crazier for loving someone who didn’t want you as badly as you wanted them.

Walking up the stairs, you look out the window to see the fresh spring countryside. Admits all the chaos, the flowers were still blooming, the grass still growing, and the sun still shining. Spring was still here and new as ever. The snow had melted away to reveal the fruitful, lush land. A new start. Maybe it was time for you to have one too. 

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