#i need to relearn how to color this show lol

[stevenrogered]

KAREN FUKUHARA as Kimiko Miyashiro The Boys 3x02, “The Only Man In The Sky”

#the boys #theboysedit #karen fukuhara #kimiko miyashiro #kimiko #the boys amazon #the boys tv #the boys spoilers #i loveee her #thcrin #cinemapix #dailytvfilmgifs #filmstreams #i need to relearn how to color this show lol #mystuff #1k #5k

[moonstruckdraws]

Sage & Luci

As said before, I want this to be a QPR & I spent a while relearning what I already knew to double check myself lol. I still find these to be so fun because of the flexibility this kind of relationship has & I'm excited to explore it.

Sage is the more physically affectionate out of the two

I just love size differences lol. Luci isn't really one to ramble unless it's to rant, but she does it with Sage. She feels like she can say anything to her & Sage will being paying attention to everything. Sage is quite the bubbly person, but often enjoys listening to people instead of speaking.

Nicknames! Luci doesn't like romantic pet names. She either cringes or feels dead inside when addressed that way. In an ask Helli made to me, I said that Luci likes drinking floral teas & then it came to me; Sage addresses Luci by whatever tea she drinks that day. I thought it was so cute!! Luci would get tea from Bao's tea shop every so often & would probably be where she & Sage meet up. On days that Sage is either late or days Luci comes into the tea shop without planning on meeting up, I think it'd be funny if Sage just bursts into the shop to interrogate Bao on what tea Luci drank that day lmao.

Sage is gloooowing. I just wanted more color on the page lol. But moths are attracted to light, so when Luci learned Sage is bioluminescent, she was beyond excited & thought it was so cool. Seeing the colors & brightness made Luci come up with nicknames for Sage. She calls her a nightlight, at first in a joking manner before it stuck.

I think it'd be best to talk about Luci's view & opinions of romance, and then her & Sage's partnership so imma do that-

I don't believe I've said this fun fact yet, but Luci watches romance shows & movies practically constantly. If someone wants to watch anything romance, Luci will have a recommendation. She started watching romance because of the relationships around her. I think it's not a secret that Luci is friendless & isn't exactly the best at socializing. Her interactions with people or reselling/buying others' stuff, shouting at said customers when they tick her off, or hating people (cough Pico & Todd cough). The only time she gets along with others is during DIGG concerts (another fun fact is that she's a giga fan of them) when jamming out with people in the crowd. So, as said in Luci's introduction post, she meets Bao by going to his tea shop after being extremely heated. Making Bao her first friend. Of course, that leads to her learning Bao & Pico are together. The only other people in a relationship she'd know of would be Warren & Hypno, because of Repo. It'd leave her puzzled on the subject of a lover. She knows people date & get married & all that, but actually knowing people who are is a shock to her. Like knowing something exists but not really registering it until you've seen it in person. While trying to wrap her head around it, she sees a show playing on the TV Repo left on, it being romance. She'd take this as an opportunity to figure this strange concept & it turned into her binging and watching a bunch of them. Through watching romance is how she'd find out things that were cringe or confusing to her, & things that peaked her interest. (I think she'd just ask Bao straight up, "Why the f*ck are you dating?" That'd probably be her reaction to the news lmao in the sense of "Why Pico?" but also just "Why?")

Repo never talked about romance with Luci unless she asked, and with the lack of people she's around, she never dealt with being questioned on her interest in others & having that expectation of needing to find someone. So that kind of relationship has never been on her mind. What she's interested in, from all the shows & films, interactions she's seen, and by pure description has been the intimacy of those close relationships. It's more of a second thought that might appear time to time when watching romance that'd linger. But aside from that, she doesn't care for any of the rest.

Luci is not an affectionately giving partner that likes receiving attention. With the way she's raises & how she views Repo, she always liked getting attention. The way she grew up also made her not the most considerate person in the world unless it was for Repo (later on others), so she isn't the most showy with affection. She shows affection with others, aside from Repo, by just her presence. Even if she just doesn't talk, her being there with someone is her way of showing care. Sage loves expressing her affection through words. She may not talk as much in a conversation, but when giving praise or compliments, those are likely to make that person be in a good mood for the rest of the day. She likes making people feel good, it's a reason she's an herbalist. She manages to say all the right words & takes pride in that. They do standard cuddles & head resting and is pretty much all they do. They like to go on outings, Sage more than Luci, or just sitting around doing nothing. But they do have this thing with holding hands. They hold hands a lot when doing just about anything, but Sage would always reach for Luci's second pair of arms. And that Luci would never be the one to let go of hands, it'd always be Sage who'd have to do it & I just thought it was sweet lol.

okay that's enough rambling for me lol

#luci the moth #sage the mushroom #i believe what I wrote for Luci made sense- or maybe it didn't #this took more than 20 minutes but then again I didn't plan on it #i love their nicknames for each other #you don't even know how long gushed over on it #also Bao inclusion :D didn't think i'd mention him several times but i did lol #imma go draw Sage munching on tree bark lmao #i think they're cute together! #i have ideas in my head but im going to save myself the trouble of trying to do anything else today

[feelbokkie]

No it's fine, don't be sorry for rambling since we can both ramble! lol (I was worried before that my asks were getting long for no reason 😭 but it's fun to just have conversations). You literally did grad school, write so well, are fluent in 3 languages (so cool how easily you picked up French!), and are learning your 4th and 5th languages so I'm sure you're not stupid at all.

I'm fully fluent in Tagalog and English, and then my brain decided to only be partially proficient in several other languages whether I Iearned them for several years or only a couple months: conversational listening in Spanish (from 4 years in middle school), only translating and reading aloud in Latin (despite 4 years in high school and 1 in college), reading French (from 2 semesters + sporadic Duolingo), reading and translating Old English (from just 1 semester but one of my niche/useless in daily life expertise is Medieval European History lol), and Japanese and Korean in the capacities I explained before.

I seriously considered doing linguistics in college since languages are so fun and interesting, but I was already on track to disappoint my parents by majoring in History and then doing Education for grad school lol.

It sounds like you're pretty close already to being able to watch Japanese shows in the background, you probably understand more than you realize! But yeah, I'm more an immersion/listening learner too so I'm def picking up more Korean from watching and listening to stuff (I'm a fast subtitle reader👍) than the workbook I got, although me taking notes with colorful pens is what fast tracked my learning Hangul so quickly.

There's so many things I wanna read in Japanese that people online haven't translated yet so I'm suffering too but I can't get myself to even consider learning hiragana/katakana/kanji until I get better at Korean since I have a limited summer time (the school year fills my brain with too many other things 😔).

Hope everyone else doesn't mind all the random infodumping I'm doing on your skz blog lol

-👻✌️

I apologize to everyone who has my post notifications on who are now being subjected to feelbokkie nerd hours, lol

Fluent in creole and French is a stretch. I can mostly understand and kinda read and write but I'm not actively using them so I'm losing them again. and I think me picking up French quickly is cheating since I technically already knew the language mostly. But I will give myself props for trying to learn 2 more languages. Idk, I think I'm spiraling because I'm done with school until I convince myself that I actually do want a Phd and I love learning and need something to do with my free time.

I wish I could learn latin. I had so much fun when we were learning Greek and Latin root words and etymology in middle school (God, I'm such a nerd) and I did Shakespeare acting competitions for 3 years in hs school so I got really well versed in reading Shakespearean English. Like I have a collection of all his plays and sonnets that I'm reading and analyzing for fun (again, I'm a nerd).

Linguistics wasn't an option for me in undergrad because my school didn't have a linguistics program. But it's amazing that you studied History! I would have switched to History but I already disappointed everyone by switching from criminal justice to English and then doing more English in grad school lol.

I'm so excited to do my color coded notes and all that again. I found a box of mine a few days ago from when I was relearning French full of all my note cards so I can only imagine how bad it's going to be this time.

I can also imagine how little time you have outside of teaching to pursue your hobbies and special interest. But at least you have time during the summer to work on your Korean.

#feelbokkie answers #👻✌️ anon

[darthtaoshay]

cactus, sage and nutmeg

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

I am currently relearning Norwegian. I used to be pretty fluent and then I fell off and stuff so now I need to relearn lol

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

I would say poetry. Most of the ones I read involve more traumatic and painful events put into more beautiful words. It's very touching to me.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

So, in my apartment every room is kinda different lol. My kitchen is very retro themed with red being the main color. My living room is more like nerdy stuff, we have gaming stuff/comic/show stuff in there. My bathroom is white and black with a cow painting hanging in there. My bedroom is just pink and black with some fairy stuff around.

#darthmail #darthgames #kit<3

[chellishere]

Character Modeling...p1

I started working on my characters for my short film for school (technically starting early-- maybe a good thing, maybe not...)

Luckily I get free/cheap licenses for these expensive programs that are required to even function as a 3D artist with my tuition (which is way more expensive than those licenses ever would have been...)

Anyway-- to start, I modeled a character in zbrush. I save a lot of backups, so I can go back and see most of the steps of my process (pics below)

Then I brought the highres mesh into maya, did a little retop fun where I zoned out for like 3-5 hours as I made my cute little loops and such:

Then the whole operation was brought back to zbrush for that sweet sweet projection action to then bake maps in substance...(lowres(subdivided a ton but pre-projection) vs highres mesh below)

So I imported the maya retopologized file into substance, baked my mesh, and got to work painting by hand <3 (base color display on left, material display on right)

She's beautiful! For my first real attempt at painting textures, I think it looks pretty good, if a bit scary without... hair and eyes and such.

And I'm realizing the retop job I did might not have enough topology, especially since I'm planning on using her for a short film, so I didn't really need to worry about having too many verts or anything, especially since she has soo few that I can see issues around the edges of the geometry where (I'm assuming) the normal maps are adding shadows to where the geometry oversteps the map, for example this black line on her arm:

But I'm not even sure if I'm going to use the normal maps anyway because I want to experiment with trying to make the renders look painted/flat (rip to all that sculpting work... at least it helped me figure out how to paint details in substance even if I don't end up using the map)

...

So onto hair! I wanted dynamic hair so her gorgeous locks could blow in the simulated wind, and I wanted her to have curly hair. When I looked up how to use nHair in maya, I saw people recommend xgen. I have some limited experience in xgen thanks to one class of one course I took last semester, but really I had to relearn it through a YouTube video (thank you J Hill on Youtube! linked at end of post). It seems like I might've gotten rid of the file that had my xgen attempt so I don't have a picture to show, but... my girl was balding, and xgen wasn't letting me create maps because of issues with the file paths that I coudn't resolve despite going through the path and not finding any issues?? so I gave up. I tried to mess around with it for a bit, but really xgen wouldn't have fit the style I was going for anyway. I wanted chunky hair that I could paint textures for. To fix the mess I made, I would've needed time, and though it would've been good practice and a learning experience, I really wanted to focus on finishing my project following the intended aesthetic than branching out and forgetting about my original goal. So, raincheck xgen. We'll meet again on another day. To make up for no xgen pics, heres a screenie from the file I do have where I tried paint effects on my hair curves:

lol.

I wanted the hair curly anyway, and I didn't really want to use paint effect hair so... onwards:

Then I saw a video on using curve warp deformers for hair (GGP_Animation on Youtube) which was a cool introduction to something in maya I didn't even know existed (plugin wasn't even loaded on my machine) but I realized that if I had the curves and wanted curly hair, I could just make a sweep mesh that followed the curves! So I did, and then followed ANOTHER tutorial (CG MAGUS on Youtube) on how to make dynamic hair to figure out which option in the nHair menu I should choose ^.^ and finally! the curves were moving! --But the sweeps weren't... So I saved the preset I had made for them and applied it to the NEW hair system curves-- and finally, she had beautiful dynamic curls (ignore the eyes--temporary, just a quick 3-color ramp on spheres).

Just kidding, they're kinda ugly lol :,) but that's hopefully just because it's just a generic aistandardsurface shader with no texture. I'm going to repaint the texture on the scalp so even if it shows through it doesn't look like her hair is thinning. I'm also planning on using flair renderer (linked below), so I have to pay for that and do some testing with it to figure out how I can get the final look I'm going for. Concept portrait design below:

#autodesk maya #zbrush #3d modeling #art student #im learning! #critique welcome #ama

[shadowed-dancer]

For the quarantine asks, can you answer 1, 6, 11-12, 16-19, 26-33, 43, and 47 please?

Thanks for the ask!

1 Animated character that was your gay awakening? Did not have an animated character gay awakening, but if it was anyone it was Sailor Mars

6 Top three cuisines? Italian, Greek, and Chinese

11 Preferred way to spend a rainy day? Drawing while listening to music, with my curtains open so I can see the rain

12 What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I don’t really eat bagels that often, when I do it’s usually just a simple cream cheese

16 Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) “Take me back in time to love you, take me back when things were light” (Starkid, Black Friday. It’s so good watch it if you haven’t). Pretty self explanatory because I miss being able to see my friends when things were normal

17 Fruity or herbal teas? Herbal

18 What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? Nailed It. A lot of my friends can’t stand it but I find it so funny! That one guy who put icing on an apple was on a whole different level

19 That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? A novel called Canticle for Leibowitz. I got so into this book it wasn’t even funny, the entire class was just me and my professor gushing over it because no one else liked it lol

26 You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? Grape juice

27 What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? Teenager section/pre teen because I like to see what the popular kids are reading these days (and also habit from being 13)

28 What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Nothing as of now since I’m kind of busy with school, but I’d like to learn how to work with worbla (or learn how to make cosplay armour in general)

29 Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? I listen to Six the Musical and jam out, or Backstreet Boys

30 Where could someone find you in a museum? The Ancient Greek/Rome section

31 What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? I have these 2 adorable crop tops that I will never wear because I’m self conscious but also D R E S S  C O D E

32 Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? Stars. Lots and lots of stars. I’ve seen the Milky Way, nothing will ever compare to that

33 If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? If I didn’t need to think about logistics? A wolf.

43 Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie Camp Rock

47 How do you top your ice cream? Mini marshmallows and chocolate chips (I'm thinking like a make-it-yourself frozen yogurt)

[alloveroliver]

QuickFics Event has concluded~

Thank you so much, everyone!

I am very proud of my one-year accomplishment!

I want to thank everyone individually that has participated, not only in the event but on my blog for the past year! I can’t do that personally, BUT I hope this post serves as a widespread THANK YOU!

You guys rock, and I’d be nothing but a silent writer without you XD. I love having a community to share things with and like-minded friends to make! I’ve met so many people that I cherish since I began this blog!

Thank you for every reblog on my fics! These mean the world!

I appreciate all the likes and comments! Having feedback on my work is something that helps me grow and change. Not only do I want to write things that make a difference, but I also want to make entertaining things!

Thank you to everyone that sends me personalized asks and sharing your positivity with me!

And a huge thank you to all my followers! This event was for yall, and I hope my appreciation came across with this event!.

I wanted to get kind of personal in my post so if that’s not your thing then don’t click “read more” lol and know that I adore you!

It’s funny. I don’t like commitment XD I think that’s why I got into otomes in the first place. It is. But, one of the things I have learned this past year is that there’s nothing wrong with committing. I used to be scared of what could happen. But life doesn’t care and will always be unpredictable no matter what you do. This has improved my friendships, my job, my family relationships, and that life lesson is the result of this blog lasting!

I never imagined I would stick to a hobby for so long tbh. One of my fav hobbies is language learning, and I usually stop after a few months and jump to another language. I ended up having the basic “Hello, how are you.” phrases in several languages and nothing past that. (Maybe some colors and curse words XD lol)

BUT then writing happened to me! (again?) Writing is something I secretly did as a child until my mother found one of my stories and showed my father and they laughed about it together :( It was a mermaid story, and it was about a mermaid girl meeting a human boy and becoming friends with them. But, somehow (with my 5th-grade knowledge of writing) the wording was so hilarious to my parents that it needed to be ridiculed. They made fun of spelling mistakes I made, typos and even the name of the boy I was writing about. (Wyatt, which I thought was a badass name. Calling him “What”) And I stopped writing, full stop. Unfortunately this wasn't the only instance of this. I didn’t want that kind of attention from my parents like that :(

In high school, I aced all my literature classes and always got complimented on my writing from good teachers. I started a notebook (because I knew if I started writing on my family’s shared computer, my mom could find my writing and ridicule the story again) and HAND WROTE a more mature version of the said mermaid story. It had lore, and it had love, loss, sacrifice, and an MC that I adored! I hand wrote enough to fill up two and a half one-subject notebooks. (How did my hands not fall off??? I probably wrote close to 45k words by hand out of fear that my work might be found out again...)

This had me spin-off with some other stories, and the spark seemed to be there. (All written in notebooks ofc) But life got in the way. I didn’t know any other writers, and I didn’t know where to go from where I was. In college, I took a creative writing class, but the teacher dropped the course, and I was defaulted to another English/writing class that was hella boring. It had a hand in making me hate writing all together for a while. It just didn’t seem like writing was something I was meant to do. So much was against me, so I quit. Again, thanks to my fear of committing to anything for long periods of time.

Fast forward to five years. I began reading a lot of books, unapologetically this time. I used to try to read what people didn’t make fun of, but when romance books were my fav thing I had to sneak them. Then I found fanfiction, and I was FLOORED. There were so many short stories, little universes, about my favorite otome/anime OTPs!!!

I have always been a dreamer. Daydreams ruled my life for as long as I can remember. There was always a side story playing in my head, ever-changing but always magical. It was amazing for me to see other peoples daydreams and fantastical stories written out and shared with the world! I appreciated them so much and wanted to hug each story and say, “Thank you for existing!” lol.

It took me a while, years, but I cracked open my computer (now only owned by me) and began typing away. It was terrible lol like super bad. I hadn’t been in school for a while, so I forgot all about “first person,” “second person,” “Third-person,” even basic grammar and editing. I spent a few months writing, and literally taking free online English grammar courses to relearn a bunch of stuff. xD

I still don’t know everything (obvs lol, like who does?), but I like where I am at, where I am going, and how I’m growing. 

Being able to write out my daydream was an absolute savage feeling. It made the story more real. The daydream was like smoke, and my written story was solidified matter, tangible. There was suddenly color, and scents, voices coming through, and lots and lots of emotions I didn’t know I’d feel. A community of people that I could share all this with as well, that didn’t ridicule me for my stories but instead lifted me up and encouraged me!

Now that I am writing again. I feel like I learned a whole new language, and I can express myself. It’s as if I couldn’t speak for so long and now I can sing.

#ash speaks #quickfics #conclusion #a thank you! #also. yall prob didnt know about my undying love for mermaids! #i want to write more about mermaids. out of spite #but also out of love XD

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly Wanna? Ch. 2

So, whenever I said I wasn’t gonna tag again, I didn’t think about the fact that I could simply copy and paste, so I did. Lol. This chapter has a little bit of language (this story will too), but I probably won’t think to put up disclaimers every single time. It’s a Charlotte chapter, basically showing you a little more of how she is in this fic and how she was raised. Hopefully, the story is still enjoyable. I’ve got the thing up on ff.net as well, if it’s easier to follow there because of the emails. At any rate, here is the second installment and let me know if I need to remove you from the next copy+paste tags. 

@adorkable-blackgirl  @chenoahchantel @cactus-con @up-the-tube @riebellion  @itsyaapollochild@oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille  

02. Born This Way

Getting into the jeep, Charlotte put the key into the ignition, paused and said, “I have to tell you something. I don’t know how to feel about things, right now.”

He looked a little panicked, “What? About me?” He asked in a kind of tiny voice.

“No. About all of that,” she gestured one of her hands towards the brownstone and shook her head, “I mean, on the one hand there’s not a person in this world that I dislike more than Henry Prudence Hart. Seeing him again just brought back a lot of that. Of the dislike, the love, the hurt.  Because, that dislike comes from a place of hurt, because there’s also not a person in this world that I’ve loved more than him and he just… you know… didn’t even care at all.”

Jasper took her shaking hand into his and assured her, “Look, I know that feeling, but I promise you, he did care. He didn’t know how to show it, but he really loved you when you were together and he was extremely hurt when it ended. He knew it was his fault and he hated that he had hurt you. But, also, if you think you can’t do this, we can call him up right now and tell him we’re out. He’s resourceful. He’ll manage.”

“I really want to do it, though. I think it might give me a chance to kind of be seen for who I am and explain myself. To my parents, you know? To familiars that might tune in. Maybe it’ll help me take a look at myself, even? You know? Jasper, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, but I have to start somewhere in figuring it out. I can’t just coast by on autopilot.” He nodded his head, kissed her hand and let it go. “So, you seemed fine, though. How often do you see him?”

He paused and shook his head, “Not often at all, but anytime I do see him, it’s almost like nothing’s changed. Like, I forget for a moment that we went through the things that we went through. That he put me through what he out me through. It’s like he charms me into being warm with him and then I walk away and wonder why I was so cordial and why I seemed to forget my anger when he’s there, but remember it when he isn’t. But… I figure that’s because he wants me to forget about it. Henry is cunning. He helps people look at relations and find solutions. He can finesse an ex or two in a heartbeat and not bat an eye. When all is said and done, that part of my life is over with and me still being angry about it is only gonna hurt me. So, I just shake it off.”

“Like the Devil,” Charlotte said and nodded. Jasper raised an eyebrow. She was finally ready to start driving, humming the tune to “Shake the Devil Off,” as she did.

.

To be clear, Henry was her first. She had consciously made a decision, and he was her top choice. She grew up with what she now classified as “two potentials.” That was Henry Hart and Jasper Dunlop. They were both stupid, gross boys for her childhood days, but eventually there was puberty and the hormones mingled with the close proximity swayed that viewpoint a little bit. She could honestly say that she felt like she had crushes on both of them, at different times - like when they needed her, or when they weren’t annoying her, or being stupid… So… you know, a little bit here and there. 

It wasn’t until her mother decided that it was time for “the talk” that she ever really thought about it, though. Honestly, she was friends with them and for her, that meant that she loved them. She wasn’t thinking about dating or anything sexual, really, though she had imagined a kiss or a hand hold or something and figured whenever she was ready to try it, it would be with a friend. She only had two, so it wasn’t something she had to juggle, or anything.

The talk for her was a painful and irritating experience. Charlotte had to have several “the talk” talks with her mother. She had one when she first went to school. She was going to be out in the world, by herself and needed to know about the danger of strangers and the threat of racial discrimination. Her mother had taught her that whenever she was in trouble, try to find a Black woman, “you know, yours and Mommy’s color,” because ‘find an adult’ just wasn’t sufficient for many kids, much less for a Black one and even though Black women weren’t perfect, by a longshot, Mrs. Page leaned on the side of hope that one would see herself in the young girl and attempt to assist her. There were just too many horror stories for her to feel comfortable advising her to find just any adult. 

She had one when the school first contacted Mrs. Page about Charlotte’s “unruly hair.” That was more of Mrs. Page coming down to the school and reading everybody in the administration office for filth about her beautiful daughter’s natural hair, with her own big afro swinging with the sway of her head. She had fussed at those people and educated them at the same time, right before withdrawing Charlotte from the school and enrolling her at Swellview Elementary. Charlotte learned a lot that day, so she considered it a talk. The ride home was her mother telling her about how when she was little, her grandmother put chemicals in her hair to make it straight and that half of it fell out and some parts still didn’t grow properly. She told her that businesses and institutions often tried to penalize girls like them for how they were naturally made. “Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because there’s something wrong with them. There’s something evil inside and they don’t even know it, but it’s thought to be normal to say that a child has ugly features because they don’t look exactly like white girls’. If you ask me, that’s what’s ugly - saying that a child needs to change her looks just because! You’re healthy, clean, clothed, and happy. Never let their judgement change that last one. It isn’t worth it.”

The talk whenever she “became a young lady,” was more like a Q and A, fill in the blank type talk. She’d asked her if she knew what was happening to her body, instead of presuming that she needed it explained, and then she filled in the parts that Charlotte was not exactly clear on. And her mom was the best about periods. She hadn’t heard many stories from friends about it. But Mrs. Page had “period packs,” which included vitamins, medication specifically for this time, a selection of sanitary supplies for fluctuation in the flow, heating pads, safe period snacks (stuff that you’re actually supposed to eat, as opposed to the crap your body might crave), a fun period journal, a scream pillow, and books about it by Black gynecologists or specifically targeting Black girls. 

At this point, some of you may be thinking, “Wow, Charlotte’s mom is OBSESSED with Blackness/Black girl things…” And the short answer is, yes. She feels like she has to make sure that Charlotte didn’t have to relearn how to treat herself and love herself in her body, in this town. Which… isn’t an openly bigoted town, but an American town with a low population of other Black people. All subject matter generally has whiteness and their experiences as a default and an audience. Charlotte’s mother internalized a lot as a dark skinned girl child with “nappy” hair that needed straightening and next to no representation in media or her environment. She didn’t want Charlotte to ever have to battle loving herself. She had promised, before she was ever born that she would be a different kind of mother than the self-loathing woman who brought her up. Anywho…

The “some people say the birds and the bees, but this is really about your body and what you want to do with it,” talk was something else. It was the first time since that racism one she had going into Kindergarten that she was confused about every part of this. Now, her mother never gave her anything to have to relearn about her hair, her skin, or her body itself… But what she wanted to do with it? That woman had Charlotte ALL discombobulated after their talk.

Mostly due to “the choice.” They had went through the biology - yes, Charlotte was a girl, she knew it and didn’t have any other thoughts or need any hormone blockers, or have any dysmorphia or even general questions about her gender identity. She had always been a girl and never had a doubt. But, taking that time to learn about transgender identities and her cis-privilege was extremely fascinating to her and stuck with her. “Just how you would want someone to treat you with the respect you deserve and have your back in spaces where they have privilege, I hope that I’ve raised you to stick up for those who don’t.” Of course. They went through the process of the reproductive system via sexual intercourse and the possibility of same sex attraction. Charlotte didn’t think that she was attracted to girls, but she couldn’t say for sure, because honestly, at that point, she wasn’t exactly sexually attracted to boys either. So, her mom covered some same sex topics, as well, just in case and stressed the importance of Charlotte knowing that she wouldn’t judge her and would love her no matter what. So, HERE’S where Charlotte’s confusion came in… 

Because, she was too young to know the terminology for all of this and because it wasn’t really an accepted form of relationship status - she couldn’t really grasp the concept where her mother said things like, “When you choose a partner,” or “the person that you are involved with,” or “the boy (or girl) that you like and want to share yourself with.”

“So what if it winds up being boys AND girls?” she wondered. Her mom gave her a description of bisexuality and how she’d still be able to consider herself as such, even if she was with a boy. “Yeah, but what if I’m with a boy AND a girl, I mean? Like, at the same time?” Her mother looked uncomfortable, but explained that sometimes people had threesomes, but warned her that it wasn’t always good for people to do. Sometimes, it hurt their relationship with (here was that phrase again) “the person that they’re actually involved with.”

Charlotte sighed, “Okay. But, like… I feel like I’m not expressing myself very clearly. I mean like… What if I have a boyfriend, and at the same time, I have a girlfriend? I mean, they offer two different things, really any two individuals can, two boys, for instance, or three, you know? I’m asking you, relationship-wise, I guess, what is the reasonable way to have relationships like that?”

Her mother now looked kind of horrified for a moment, and she didn’t usually look at Charlotte that way, so immediately, red flags went off and Charlotte just knew that she had entered into a space that was unacceptable and now they were there and she would have to tough it out. At that moment (she realized much later), she internalized some disdain for herself, because of her mother’s reaction to a question that Charlotte identified with.

“Well, that sounds like cheating, to me,” her mother said. “Sometimes, they do stuff like that in sex cults and hippy communes,” she said. “But, civilized people don’t date two of three boys. Ladies, if they’re good and respect themselves will only date one person at a time and just pour all that love that they think that they have to spread around into that person.”

She winced, but she really needed to clarify to her mom, because what if her mother thought she was some depraved sex cult potential, because of this. Surely, there was a classy way to explain her feelings… “But, what happens if you like more than one person at the same time, but for different reasons, and they like you back? What if the two people are very different and you love each of them, a lot and have the love to pour into both?” 

Her mother nodded and blew out a gust of air. Charlotte felt like she still must’ve been explaining her feelings wrong. Her mom just said, “Well, in that case, you just have to figure out what’s best for you, and remember that you can’t have it all.”

Charlotte asked, “So, if I like them both and they both like me, and - I should have said this part earlier - they’re fine with sharing me with each other, and me pouring love into both of them, I should just pick one of them? They’re equals, but individuals. I can’t find in one what I have in the other, and everyone is fine with it. That’s okay, right? That’s a consensual and valid thing, yeah?” She asked, getting more nervous with each troubled movement of her mother’s eyebrows.

“Charlotte… are you having feelings for two boys?” She asked.

“No!” She lied, having already seen that her mother would disapprove if she admitted the truth and feeling super guilty about lying about something like this, because she and her mom were pretty tight with their talks and this one was going completely off the rails. “I’m just still learning.”

Her mother nodded, “Well, to that person, I would say, sure… you can do whatever you want and be with whoever you want, as long as nobody gets hurt, but I would have to seriously wonder how possible it is for such a dynamic to continue without anybody getting hurt.” And that was that on that. Charlotte felt like if she ever did what she now knew to be a “polyamorous” relationship, somebody might get hurt. She still to this day felt like that, even though technically, she knew better. It was more accepted now and it was valid for those who were actually seeking it, not just some of the people like her mother probably imagined who just cheated on people and claimed to be poly, without ever acknowledging things for their partners. 

But, on that day, of that talk… She made a choice. The “best” choice. She chose Henry. Not out loud, or even to his face, but in the back of her mind, as that person. The one that she might date. The one that she might kiss. The one that she might hold hands with, or whatever else. In the back of her mind, because once again, she wasn’t thinking about sex, at all, or romance, or marriage, or anything of the sort. As long as she could still be friends with both of her boys, she had everything she needed for the era that she was living in. The only reason that she felt like she was even thinking about all of this now was because she’d subconsciously made that choice, all those years ago, and whenever it did come up, she made the choice out loud. It was clearly the wrong goddamned choice, considering! So, she backtracked and made the other choice and by the way, the way that she was feeling about Jasper, she would have loved to have been hip enough to make this choice a long time ago! 

Jasper was the epitome of carefree and could be the poster boy for self love and positivity movements. He always made everybody around him feel warm and cared for. He was a loving friend and dedicated lover. He loved you more than he loved himself, which was saying a lot, because he loved himself so much that he ALWAYS knew that he was dope in a crop top, even when everybody thought he was on some BS. He felt fine with that 11th toe above his ankle and sometimes, jokingly called it his ‘ankle rack,’ he wore an anklet that went sideways because he’d not put it beneath the thing, and he got his outie pierced, It had a damn bucket charm hanging from it. Motherfucker used to call himself a buckateer! In mixed company! 

They pulled up home and she simply smiled at him. He smiled back and looked a little confused, but still happy, “What?” He wondered.

“I wish I would have skipped him and gotten to you, first,” she said. 

He smiled wider, but tilted his head a little, in disagreement. “I’m glad that you found me when you did. I think that the things that I’ve experienced have been really good foundation for building things with you. Like… You know, you’ve gotta make a few mistakes before you realize what you’re doing and I’m glad that I’ve made my mistakes with other people, so that you can have the best version of me to be with now.” 

She sighed and turned off the jeep, “Alright. Let’s get inside. My entire body is ready.” He chuckled, getting out of the vehicle and collected her from behind while she was trying to run inside to get busy. “Hey,” he said gently. She turned and looked at him. “I’m sorry that he hurt you, but I’m glad that he lost you, because of what I have.”

“Dude! My panties are literally melting off. Are you trying to make me jump you, right here?” She asked. He picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder and she let out a playful scream-laugh that probably got at least a couple of nosy neighbors glancing out to see what was happening. Sure, Henry stirred up some pain today, but this was the end result. Jasper was right. This was the best version of him. Her mother had been wrong. She could have everything. As of right now, that’s precisely what Jasper TBD Dunlop was.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i seen a few times ppl like implying that the positive char development that the donuts are getting via their experiences has anything to do with them having Needed A Break from each other.......i’m truly bemused like. are you talking about this in terms specifically of their Relationship to each other? b/c frankly the way i was seeing it is that their relationship prior to these arcs was actually in a fairly chill place, and that they had figured out a lot of things abt their own / each others needs in terms of it that had been causing them problems and all. obviously i wasnt thinking like “guess everythings perfect for them now” since i mean it wasnt even clear they were like for sure officially ~together~ but also b/c why would it be when they’d just started to be able to have a more solid handle on their own mutual deal

but also like. the only thing we can really say is that sadie quit the big donut and got “yolo” knuck tats because there was nothing at all adequate abt the job w/o having a coworker to hang out w and the fact that lars just went off and died is like, well then live for the fuckin moment i guess huh. like that situation isnt even caused just by the fact that lars is absent, like maybe he’s on vacation or something. its that he, again, died and is still in danger and nobody knows for sure if/when he’ll get back. maybe she wouldn’t’ve started a garage band if that hadn’t happened, but its not like if she had done that and lars was still there, she would definitely be prevented from doing anything involving pursuing her interests, like. idk hopefully nobody thinks that ppl in relationships can’t have independent pursuits or focus on their personal interests

meanwhile there’s no point in saying that anything lars is doing requires sadie’s absence either. its more sort of say the absence of absolutely everyone on earth save steven for a bit there. like sure it was a factor that they got separated the way they did and he felt bad for being too panicky to help her but, same as with sadie, that has nothing to do with benefitting directly from her not being there. and its not like being separated from sadie was the One Reason he was able save everybody and get them all on a spaceship. there was like half a dozen factors there; to suggest if sadie had been there he wouldn’t be able to do this is.....i dont even know...

like fr this whole time for the both of them, the other has been probably the person they’ve been most comfortable being most like themselves around, and not feeling the kind of pressure from each other that generally stifles them in most other situations (like how lars is afraid of how ppl (he presumes negatively) judge him, how sadie feels bound by various expectations for what ppl think she’s really like (but isn’t really like))...the fact that they’re both getting to explore these different sides of themselves isnt really anything they couldnt do back on earth together. the events that happened to separate them (and separate lars from like all of earth...just to reiterate..) just happened to give them a real boost along the lines of making these decisions that impacted their development and gave them these totally new roles within totally new experiences

this is like ppl who have some idea that lars “needed” to die. like, even when its not just ppl who think so badly of lars’s char that they Wanted him to die, but rather looking back on the fact that that happened and he was killed/revived real quick lol—lars didnt Have to do that to have the development of getting to actually fight to protect others and himself and gain some confidence. he wouldve done that whether or not it had actually killed him—when he let the guys scan him without knowing it WOULDNT kill him was arguably enough to give him the same development as if the one hadnt blown up at him suddenly. and i mean, the space piracy is given a fun angle because its cool and genre, but none of them are doing it for fun. they’re trying to get to earth and not fuckin die along the way. lars is getting to continue Experiencing Some Confidence for the first time in probably ever but to present the situation he’s in and how he’s gotten there as something he “needed” is a bit cruel lol...he coulda done that on earth

like yeah if they were both living their normal lives you dont Know that some normal earth event would make them quit and sadie pursue her interests and independence while lars is put in a situation where he feels like he Belongs in a group and has confidence in himself and his ability to do like, anything. but thats coz events sort of just happen at you randomly. like how the event of being attacked by aliens basically led to this for them...it wasnt the Only Way these things could happen, its just The One Way That They Did

and like i also dont quite see that these changes theyve gotten to go through are going to put them in a perfect version of a relationship when lars gets back to earth...they still dont have the longest history of feeling kinda secure in the fact that the other really does actually like them ok, and this whole time theyve been teenz so what do you expect them having a smooth tumult-free development for, and having positive (and negative) experiences separately doesnt just automatically translate into an instantly leveled up relationship the moment they stand within 10 ft of each other again. they gotta catch up and relearn where each other is at and what their new lives and wants and needs are...and just coz their positive development might make it a bit Easier for them if some of their strongest insecurities are a lil blunted now & plus just that being happier tends to make everything easier, doesnt mean that everything is simply effortless. tbh if a relationship is effortless and stays together forever thats less Romantic And Ideal than like, sheer luck.

and it’s unrealistic (in life and in how the show doesnt make a character complete an emotional arc in a single episode or suddenly shed a defining trait just because they realize they ought to change their approach re: something or other) to think that either lars or sadie have like, completely shed all their issues as individuals anyways. and i mean, its their issues that drove them to make these changes theyre currently on. sadie being frustrated with her job, feeling unable to be herself = the motivations that means she’s now really actively pursuing what tf she feels like doing and pushing for it to continue and for it to be in line w what she wants it to be. but she’s not suddenly freed from all insecurities or feeling like everything’s perfect forever and she can never feel stifled again. plus yanno this whole time she freakin misses lars coz they’re friends and that’s not like...something she’s needed to do. absence makes the heart grow fonder but “be apart from each other indefinitely” isnt any kind of a relationship requirement. its just painful and all.

and lars knowing what its like to be afraid all the time and being frustrated abt it means he was so pushed to all at once finally stand up against what he’s scared of that he went and got himself killed, and also that he doesn’t feel the same social pressure he did on earth amongst the off colors, because he knows they know what its like to be scared all the time too—which ppl back on earth didnt understand about him. and so its the fact he’s so familiar with fear and stress that he’s able to fight for them and himself so hard now. but it’s not like you can just Decide your lifelong anxieties out of existence. after a dramatically changing experience, you’re not gonna be the same person you were before, and you’re not gonna be a totally different person. lars isnt some different person unaffected by fears or insecurities anymore. like heck he was still afraid that sadie actually didn’t miss him at all and was maybe even glad that he was gone, something that was completely in line with who he’s been and how he’s felt this whole series. and people go and be annoyed b/c i guess they expect him to just be a character Completely Changed by one dramatic yet brief part of his life rather than a character who’s still just developing and shaped by all his past experiences actually. and who, no, didnt get to choose to shed all fear b/c thats not how it works. he still feels it, he just finally got the taste of taking action anyways. plus even now that he’s not stuck in a crisis over thinking sadie might just hate him now, tbh he does still need to hear it from her that she doesnt lol)

also? tbh? lars’s Whole New Thing has been happening while he’s (mostly) isolated on a spaceship, w just the offcolors and maybe occasional interactions w hostile aliens, which hardly counts as socializing. and sadie’s whole thing of being herself and pursuing her own desires is still happening just around the cool kids really—not to mention all behind a persona. it’s actually not even that like, a lack of confidence = lack of stage fright or vice versa. its a whole other thing for her to stand up for herself and make her own choices in areas that have nothing to do with her band, even though the experiences within the band will help and give her a starting point and something to feel secure in. just like when lars is back on earth and off the ship, he won’t have the same role he has just around the off colors, just being the front of that band in his own, more imperiled, less musical way. and just coz he knows he can hold his own against destructive imperialistic colonizing aliens, doesnt mean he’s gonna be fearless in the face of the cool kids now, or think he can do anything. he’s still faced with the expectations and perceptions from ppl that he did before he left, even if the way ppl act with lars can easily change now. again, just coz things might be easier for the dnuts now doesnt mean they’ve just shrugged off their problems or are now faced with effortless paths in all aspects of their lives

theyve needed a break from the norm they used to have, but Each Other was the least of what was holding them back from changing things up for themselves. it was completely external events as much as anything else that changed things up for them, coz thats how it works sometimes—and within their new circumstances theyve gotten to experience a new situation that lets them be a bit different than they’ve gotten to be back on earth. i mean, they were really restricted. they had the terrible job, both have somewhat strained relationships w parents who dont seem to really understand who their child is, both of them feel pressured by people in general, both have insecurities, both were kind of just faced with a future that didnt involve them being able to just see happiness coming down the line. and it was a big problem for both of them tbh that neither of them really had any friends. sadie was finding it difficult to express herself or be herself, she was always in a scenario where someone (her mom, corporate policy, customers,) expected her to be a certain way that wasnt the real her, she had a crap job, nobody really seemed to know her, her tendency to Hold Back Until You Blow Up could be counterproductive to say the least. lars is stuck in the same job, with nobody thinking he’s particularly good for anything, even his parents not really expecting him to succeed in any way, desperately wanting friends but being too afraid of people to make any, being defensively irritable and pushing people away but unable to be angry on his own behalf. they’re both getting their first chance to be themselves, they’ve both stumbled into Friend Groups where they’re not only respected but supported and even esteemed, they’re both making and acting on choices completely on their own and not being as held back by their fears. but they’re the same people and none of this means the problems they’ve been dealing with are over because of it. they’ve just been forced to adapt to this change that’s come upon them, and they’ve both happened to make the most of it and be getting something positive out of a really crap situation. they could be having these arcs via a different scenario, but it would probably have to be more drawn out if nobody was in fuckin space

getting away from me slightly but its weird to say that lars and sadie Needed to be separated by lightyears thru a horrible experience and one of them is killed and still in space indefinitely. and i dont know how you’d describe what’s happening there as “a break.” that not only implies that they chose to be separated but that they have had the option to be together this whole time and continuously chosen not to, and have considered this whole experience to be a positive thing. an involuntary separation where both really wish they weren’t separated isnt a break. and to say that either of them Need to be separated in this particular way, like, man you know what their relationship needs? someone to be sent an impossible distance away & he died and might die again and might be unable to return. like, no relationship needs that or anything like that. it’d be affected by it sure, and they might be able to find silver linings in it as they have, but its never going to be necessary.....like, fucks sake if it was, how fucked up would that be

again a break would have to be something voluntarily chosen that they believed would be positive for them both, not that they believed would involve mortal peril. and they like, arent enjoying the fact theyre separated. and what the characters are going through is more about their individual developments than how it necessarily applies to their relationship—again i’d argue their relationship was in a decent place actually. not perfect obv, but good...i mean look at how good they both were at recognizing what they were both struggling with re each other. lars didnt Almost Die or anything, until later. and i imagine this stuff is going to help, but not in a “if this hadnt happened their relationship would be doomed” way. and again it is kinda wild to say that any of this might be required of them for any reason, they’re really going thru some shit w all this

anyways 🍩

#what a surprise....thought this was gonna be a short n snappy post #long post /// #donuts #my phone has hated me the whole time b/c again i didnt expect it to be so long and got stuck typing this in the mobile app #(if the app would actually let you Select All on text posts i couldve moved it to the notes app. but for whatever reason i cant and dont #want to imagine; the ‘’only letting u select one paragraph at a time’’ kind of forces you to just forge ahead after a certain point of no #return) #if this is all ‘’oops couldnt post!! so it has to be deleted’’ abt this i’m going to kill it 🔪

[penumbral-mischief-maker]

e(( Just an fyi. i do have like a few ask i got a few days ago. i will get to them. I just need to figure out how i want to answer them. 

Edit: So for a small bonus on munday I will say I am a little bit of a ho ho cake for peoples different versions of Shadow Link. I like the variety people think of. lmao. 

I myself have like 2 versions for the Shadow i rp as. The default form he usually goes as aka the manga style as he prefers to at least look a little more human. Also can change the pupil color to what ever he prefers. which is a dark blue here. lol dont be surprised if they turn red if angered. its just something he cant control. lmao.

 And then theres his true form which tends to show itself whenever angered just the right amount, drained of too much magic, or just doesn’t feel like disguising himself. This form makes his skin tone go to grey area -still figuring that one out-, his hair is black, and eyes can be full on white or at times with red or blue irises depending the mood and condition once more. His fangs and claws tend to be more noticeable -kind of bigger/longer just not a huge drastic change- in this form too.  I know i should art it but i dont know when i’ll try and relearn art. :( ))

#ooc #the mun talks #sorry i'm not getting to them i really am trying to figure out how i want to respond #but ive been just in such a mental block state that its kind of why i'm in a semi selective state with anything close to rp related. #i'm sorry ;a; #had to fix the 'true' form because i realized i was reading my old file lmao opps

[saltysalmonella]

oh, okay! i think i noticed a style/design shift a couple months back which reminded me of Rafael and Kyo, so i wanted to ask. extended family, maybe! lol. thank you for answering! and definitely make some side blogs for your stuff!

Dear Anonymous,

Yeah there has been a bit of an art shift, hasn’t there. To be honest I am actually trying to do a few things with my art, especially in the last year.

When I first began really drawing (art-ing?) I desperately wanted thin, delicate lines for all of my art. ( was super inspired by Yukito Kishiro’s “Battle Angel Alita” (original run from 1990s and at the time I was reading a lot of franco-belgium comics: Tintin, Suske en Wiske, Astérix, etc which to my untrained eye all seemed to have thin, sleek, consistent lines.

Illustrating anything was really difficult because I pushed myself to make everything very thin! You can def see that especially in my older art on tumblr. Everything had the same line-width.

I tried using cross-hatching for places of emphasis rather than for shading or for detail work - meaning my pieces were not very uniform in style and all ended up with similar problems. Not a lot of movement... and didn’t look too good when colored.

I realized that since the lines were so thin that when I colored anything in, the line-art never really showed up!! It wasn’t very good. So I try something else, namely heavier lines to allow for more colors and thick, lush lines. I also began reading other comics like Kaori Mori’s “Emma”, Hiromu Arakawa’s “Full Metal Alchemist”, Jean Giraud’s “Blueberry”, and some inspiration drawn from Mike Mignola and... Viola!

Problem now is that I need to relearn how to draw movement - heavy scenes bc with thin lines it’s rather easy to draw motion blurs (for me, at least). My colors are still.... not so good. And I still am bad at shading! (UUUGH)

Anyway I’m attempting to make a style that’s more natural to myself, looks more uniform when next to each-other, and try try try my best to use more colors!!! Young artists reading this: don’t suffer your way through someone else’s style!! Make your own!!!

xox

~Salty

P.S Sorry this turned into something else - but I’ve always like to talk about inspiration and finding your own style. What kind of things are you guys inspired by?

#saltytalks #saltyart #anonymous #art inspirations #love this kinda stuff #trying to marry my old art and the style I want for myself!! #always try new stuff my friends #Anonymous

[magerymishaps]

Random things about me

I do not know why, but I decided to try to write something like this up. I hope I do not regret this. Also it seems long and disorganized. Btw I am very odd.

-I like to more efficient than fast, but I will try to balance it if I can.

-I usually forget to eat or drink if I work unless the food is near me or someone reminds me.

-I seem to work non stop if being paid or it is an interest to me, or I take my time if it hard or boring and non-beneficial.

-I consider my sin and virtue to be gluttony and charity.

-I love cats..that I started acting like one (in the darkest corners of the world) : 3

-I really like the first two digimon shows when I was younger as well as the first and second digimon world game. Pokemon, on the other hand, I only really liked the games at the time.

-I like the paranormal in the scene of  things outside the norm or from other world or dimensions. I am not the ghost and alien crazed  type either. Some may consider that it is the supernatural I like, but I prefer things happening because if dimensional rifts, the build up of a mendable energy, or the discovery or handling of the abnormal instead of a war between deities or cause a deity will it to happen.

-I am not a big fan of drawing, but I do enjoy doodling : 3 if light and subject was not a issue, then my tumblr/Instagram would be filled with photos again.

-I may try to censor my self, but I do not like censorship.

-I sometimes place myself in a show or movie which end up making me embarrass, stress, or  rarely paranoid. Thus why I some subjects I do not like to watch. Oddly most scary movies don't scare me. They may make me jump or gross out, but nothing more. I can not say to for some scary games...

-I use to flap my fingers make a humming noise when I was excited as a child. Now I just hide in behind my back and try to make no sounds.

-When I think, I tend to walk in circles. I think I walk faster the more excited I am... If no one around I may talk to myself or the animals.

-Music sometimes plays in my head. Sometimes it the full song or fragments. Worst it could be a song I heard years ago...and it just start playing out of nowhere. It seem one of Starbound themes started playing for no reason. It is relaxing though.

-I tend to think up imaginary worlds and characters, but I have trouble probably writing them in a way that suit them well. Kind of like how bad I wrote tat sentence lol.

-I like talking simply, but I do not because the internet hates it unless it is a poem. ~“This is a twig So small and pointy How I want to poke with it.” Well that kind of a bad example but I can not think of anything short. Well I guess this would work as a four liner. (I find things easier to read when it is broken down with lines)

-I have trouble with reading where words change or get replace in my head. This also happen with vocal speech and with numbers too. Once I thought the cook said to bring up penny(pasta), but it was tomatoes or something. Eh it why I tend to have people repeat so I can confirm what I heard was right.

-It seems I can not control my voice, but I am not sure. I use to get yelled at for talking too loud or too quite.

-I do not like loud and crowded places nor so I like trying to hear or speak over loud music or sounds. It is very stressful and sometimes makes me panic. I also have trouble concentrating with distracting sounds.

-I tend to have things write out for me than spoke to me so I have something solid to reference off of since I can not trust my head.

-I tend to like the colors green, purple, and red

-I have an odd interest in physics and computer science. I guess even optics, but I consider that a form of physics. Computers science are too, but currently I am more interesting in logic and flow atm. Due to me being able to learn better with experimenting, a lot of my knowledge is fragmented due to  the cost of testing things.

-I do not know how to talk to people. I tend to either talk about a current topic or an interests if I feel like risking talking. Maybe I will meow idk. If I do talk to someone a lot, it just mean we share some kind of similar communication which seem uncommon with most normal people.

-Strangers scare me if I have to talk to them. It make getting info on jobs and important stuff harder. It is worst if they refused to give up the info I need.

-I tend to ramble off on topic if I am not following a plan...and sometimes I do with a plan.

-I always had problems with speech. I just have trouble pronouncing words. Mostly ones I never or rarely heard of or used.

-People usually ask what accent I had. Truth is I do not know if it was from my issues with speaking or because I was born on Long Island and they tend to speak similar to people from nyc.

-Odd things about my non-college experience:

I dislike how special ed back in public school was supposed to help me understand subjects, but most of the time I got vague answers. Then again I found that ELA was quite fragmented after basically relearning it for college. Also why did public school(or mine) never mention how to actually do taxes or mention tax laws?

I always had “special” classes of some sort. It was odd since most people there had some kind of real disability unlike me which was just “learning disability” or something. That is very vague compare to adhd, anxiety, or such. It was odd because most classes I got great grades at unless I had to spell or write an essay (which was nice having a quite space an extended time if it was part of a test...except if the questions was being read out loud, then I could not concentrate). Another thing was that I can not remember autism or asperger being explain or even mention in school or if I had, it was only briefly and poorly described. Ironically I only head of it a few years after college. I took psychology in high school so I find it odd I can not recall that term since it seem like it would have popped up. Also when the whole treat everyone the same ideologue started to accrue, I found it to be very bad in my opinion. It lead to me being force into very loud and stressful situation. PE became a nightmare when certain events was happening. Ugh and mandatory school events...

Ironically my school was probably better than most in terms of acceptance. Things could have been worst if I was at a different school. That is mostly to the thanks to some friendly and helpful staff.

#random #nonsense #me #about #why did i write this #just cause can

[theinsanecrayonbox]

i present the crew of the Marauder, my Galra OCs in a nice clean full reference way lol

i’ll do up bios under a cut to reduce space. but wow, this...was a project. it was a really good exercise to do character design, but yeah...i fail at drawing backs of people and after the nudes, gave up doing backs for the other designs. but i wanted to do this to show the differences in them more than anything else, between colors and shapes,  so that was accomplished no argument i think.

also working on this gave me tome to develop headcanons. so those get  worked in too lol. so onto the bios below the cut!

Commander Kotov Varloc

age: 50-60s equivalency

height: 8′8″

former occupation: Commander in the Galra Army

current occupation: Commander of the Marauder, in service of the Blade of Mamora

likes: his sauna time

dislikes: Raynes interrupting his sauna time

brief history: Varloc was a younger son to the Kotov name, and not seen as the favored heir, so he was enrolled in the basic military training. He worked his hardest and excelled, reaching high ranks. He was betrayed by his second in command, literally back-stabbed and left for dead on a backwater planet in an outer system. He did not die, but the lack of critical medical care has left his horribly scarred with lingering pain. Despite being raised as a loyalist, he took arms with the resistance in the goal of taking out his treacherous lieutenant. After that goal was completed though, he stayed on because of his useful military knowledge and strategies, as well as the fact that all records stated that Kotov Varloc was dead in the eyes of the Empire.

Ventis “Ven” and Vex

age: 30s equivalency ; 12-13 equivalency

height: 7′9″ ; 6′3″

former occupation: In-training Space Station Systems Engineer ; none

current occupation: Self-taught Pilot ; Assistant Mechanic of the Marauder 

likes: 80s power ballads from Earth ; building things

dislikes: people touching his stuff ; having to put back together what he takes apart

brief history: Ven was born into the Worker Caste, and was sent off for technical training as soon as he learned to walk and speak. When he was transferred to a certain space station for advanced engineering training, he fell in love with the ships in the shuttle bay, and started sneaking off during the nocturnal cycles to attempt to teach himself how to pilot one of them. Several of the seasoned guards on the station were aware of his activities as time went on; he had two potential friends among them, but there were others who weren’t friendly in the appropriate ways. Ven discovered he was pregnant with Vex after getting caught in the shuttle bay by one of the less friendly types. Months later, the Blade of Mamora orchestrated a raid on the station; Ven was liberated then because he managed to convince Varloc (who was part of this raid) that he could fly his group off the station. Despite having no real flight time, and going into labor, he totally managed the feat, and sealed a place in the Resistance for himself and his kit.

Raynes

age: 18-19 equivalency

height: 7′1″

former occupation: Member of a Street Gang

current occupation: Sniper on the Marauder

likes: knives

dislikes: being told what to do

brief history: Raynes was born on a planet in an outer system in the Galra Empire that was known for being overrun with half-breeds. He never knew who-or what-his parents were, but due to his more Galra-like appearance, he was taken in rather quickly by one of the many street gangs. He lost his tail when he was 7 (equivalent); the clinic he as taken to said it was impossible to save the appendage, and just docked it completely, leaving him with a nasty scar. Couple years back, during a turf war, the Resistance was trying to broker a deal for information and got caught in the middle of everything; that’s where Varloc managed to recruit Raynes. Despite his preference for knife fighting, it was discovered that he actually had a natural talent for long range sharp-shooting, and the Resistance trained him to be a sniper instead. Due to his dislike to follow orders though, he was assigned to follow under Varloc when he purposed he Marauder, and at first he didn’t recognize the kid.

The Marauder

Despite having been part of the Resistance for many, many years now, Varloc has never meshed well with all those involved, never really being able to shake off the Loyalist he was raised to be/was for most of his life. So he purposed taking a small team himself for covert solo tactics. At first he was denied the request, because they couldn’t spare ships or pilots for something like that. But then Ven volunteered his piloting services, as well as the old small ship he had been working on restoring. Having a ship and willing pilot, Varloc was granted clearance, as well as assigned the obnoxious Raynes to be part of his team. Now they just sorta go around, doing small missions that need not be noticed, gathering information, and pulling last minute extractions for assents that become compromised.

And now for some species related headcanons...

purebloods are intersexed; half-breeds are single sexed. those with female parts do have heats.

the Military uses suppressants to reduce/control unwanted breeding in the ranks, heat-wise.

they are (usually) born with tails, but those of the Military and Worker castes typically have them docked when the kit is a few days old (before they need to learn how to balance without it, and also before they remember the pain of it) Tails have sort of been mostly bred out, and being tail-less means an easier time assimilating into things. Those that keep their tails are sort of socially seen as something more animal and feral like.

the Resistance doesn’t require tail docking, but if you apply for an undercover job, you sorta have to...tail docking at an older age is very painful and takes a couple months of physical therapy to relearn ow to balance without the appendage.

the back claw on their feet is another “feral trait” that seems to be breeding out. it used to work like a raptor’s claws. it also grows in later than the other claws, around the time puberty strikes.

they have pads on the bottom of their feet, but not on their hands/fingers

offspring are called “kits” rather than “cubs”

familial surname before personal given name. only high ranking Military and Noble Castes have them anymore though

they have a Caste System that’s mostly job orientated...basically i use this as a basic model with it being Nobles-Military-Worker-Common (which includes half-breeds)-Slaves (typically non-Galra). usually you’re born into teh caste, but the Common caste are tested at intervals to find specialized individuals to change. the military cannonfodder are also plucked from the Common Caste, but are not re-graded to Military Caste.

“Kitzen” is the equivalent of “John Doe” or “Mr Smith” if they need to give a name for some reason

#my art #digital art #voltron legendary defender #galra oc #my ocs #so nervous sticking this in the proper tags #long post #my space cats

[kwanfairy]

Quarantine Asks: Questions You Usually Wouldn’t Think of Asking But You’re Bored AF

Here is the link to the original post in case you wanna do it too ! also: @stitchzmile i want you to do it too :D <3

Animated character that was your gay awakening? jesus.. i actually dont know. as a kid i thought jessie from pokemon and kim possible were super hot LOL but i dont think they were my gay awakening.. 

Grilled cheese or PB&J? grilled cheese

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? i actually dont do that but i love to put on some “relaxing celtic music” in the BG whenever i write!

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? that depends as i dont really like alcohol. if its about enjoying it, probably baileys, if its about getting hammered, jägermeister or other shots.

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i dont own enough shoes plus i dont really care about them lol but the new ones i bought are really comfy so i guess it’s them?

Top three cuisines? i like heavy/greasy food so german/austrian, asian, italian

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? no fucking clue but im super curious now and will ask my mom later!

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? working as a language assistant w/ american students as im super anti-social and introverted

Look up. What’s directly across from you? my black wall (that ive painted myself!!) lol

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? eventho i cant think of any i should have some, right? doesnt everyone have something thats signed??

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? on my ps4 or writing with my balcony door open so i can hear the rain

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? we dont do bagels here or sandwiches and ive only been to subway once, was totally lost, amde a fool out of myself and never went to one ever again lol

Brunch or midnight snacks? brunch! eventho i love eating midnight snacks, my tummy doesnt react well to them....

Favorite mug you own as a none-coffee drinker, i dont have one

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? probably milk-coffee? im super white and most people dont like me ^^

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ive been anxious for the past week cause we have to do a presentation for work and my anxiety riddled brain is freaking out. but ive been trying to remind myself that, while its a struggle, its also an opportunity to show myself what im capable of! “I will never ever know, if i quit now” - Mess by Jasmine Sokko

Fruity or herbal teas? i do like both but prefer fruity ones

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? motto ojamajo doremi - its just really cute!

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? The wave

Do you match your socks? yas

Have you ever been horseback riding? yup during sports-week at school, but i was terrified all the time and had no idea what i was doing LOL

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) if loner counts, then that ^^

Have you ever been to jail? nope, but i kinda really wanna see one from the inside smh

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? i only know them from chinese restaurants and they are quite handy if ya do food sharing but otherwise i dont really see the use

Puzzles? need to be in the mood but haven done one in yeeeears

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? orange juice for sure

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? i rarely go to a bookstore rip i know but when, i usually check their manga section first (rip x2 lol) and then the thriller one

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? im on day 382 on my duolingo japanese course! also, the fic im currently writing has taught me a lot about not over editing and paraphraph-ing (whetever that is actually called)

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? not into musicals

Where could someone find you in a museum? that depends which museum it is. but im usually trying to follow a path that brings me past everything

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? the super duper emo-like red plaid pants a friend of mine gave me years back.

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? pink louds!

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? while im quite wary of birds, emus look kinda cool. oh or a wombat maybe? or an axolotl!

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? art that either i or my mom has drawn

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? as embarrassing as it is i LOVE memes so i cant choose just one.

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with im not really into superhero stuff so i dont really know any sidekicks.. if ron from kim possible counts then him id say lol

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? lakes for sure, oceans are just too wide and deep and scary

Favorite mid-2000s song im totally blanking now but the only 2 that came to my mind were britney - toxic and baby bash - suga suga

How do you dress when you’re home alone? pyjamas

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? in front of my comupter lol

Knives or swords? knives

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving bewhy - gottasadae

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie is camp rock one? i dunno we didnt have disney channel

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? i never post pics online lol but i guess id be more of an explanation kidna gal

Name a classic Vine god there are so many good ones but the first that came to my mind was “stop! i coulda dropped my croissant!” and the “ok :D” guy in the jungle

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? veggies! i love veggies so my freezer usually is full of it

How do you top your ice cream? ew, i dont!!

Do you like Jello? non-native english speaker here. wtf is jello. is is this clear wobbly shit? if so, then no, gross!

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? well ok i do have pics, but like, actual photographs of my dog but i wish i had more and digital ones as well :( i really fucking miss him even after all this time and it would be so nice to have more quality pics of him...

How are you at climbing trees? as someone whos scared of heights and abso-fucking-lutely grossed out by bugs... take a guess :)

#tag game

[shortqueershakespeare]

Can you do all the questions please? 🥺👉👈

i’m starting to think all of the question requests are one anon and i’m so intrigued, i genuinely didn’t think anyone would be remotely interested lol also I reblogged two and I’m not sure which you meant so i’ll do both! Animated character that was your gay awakening?

- Hmmm back when I thought i was cis I guess Kim Possible, when I started realising I was trans, Flynn Rider

Grilled cheese or PB&J?

- Grilled cheese babyyyy, love cheese, hate peanut butter

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on?

- Pretty much anything I’ve seen before, usually comedy, so Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, Crazy ex Girlfriend, Chuck

Your go-to bar order, if you drink?

- Rum and coke, or pina colada if I’m feeling fancy

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own?

- Either my tennis trainers or my shoes with rainbow laces

Top three cuisines?

- Italian, Japanese, Mexican

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?

- I have literally no idea, it’s written on a calendar somewhere

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?

- Cleaner for a business

Look up. What’s directly across from you?

- The AGA

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?

- Signed Dear Hank and John poster, a signed anorak (I took it to festivals), some signed CDs etc

Preferred way to spend a rainy day?

- Curled up under a blanket with a book and a cup of tea, ideally with my head in a boy’s lap.

What do you get on your bagels? 

- I don’t really get bagels so idk

What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?

- Top surgery and a good prosthetic lol

Brunch or midnight snacks?

- Mate I’m not choosing, but probably midnight snacks because I’d prob sleep through brunch if I could

Favorite mug you own

- Either my Robin mug or my moose mug

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as?

- Caramel iced latte

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

- Would you be so kind/ as to fall in love with me - Would you be so kind - dodie

Fruity or herbal teas?

- Herbal I guess??

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?

- Fucking Vanderpump rules thanks to my damn sister

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?

- To Kill A Mockingbird

Do you match your socks?

- Yes

Have you ever been horseback riding?

- Yes, at a birthday party

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)

- Real bold of you to assume I only had one, here’s a non comprehensive list:

Rabbits

Tigers

Football

Harry Potter

Tennis

Theatre

Languages

Have you ever been to jail?

- Nope

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

- Cool I guess?

Puzzles?

- Love them

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

- Apple??

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?

- Either YA if going for fiction, History if going for non-fiction, Language for uni stuff

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?

- How to be fucking MOTIVATED MAN I’M MEANT TO BE WRITING AN ESSAY

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?

- Troye Sivan

Where could someone find you in a museum?

- Depends, abroad you’ll find me seeing if I can understand the signs, if not I just wander round and look at lots of interesting stuff

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?

- I reallyyyyy wanna wear dungarees w/o a shirt but can’t til post top surgery

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?

- For art, sunset coloured clouds, for actual real life, stars bc I love nighttime, for anything else, rainbows

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?

- Does a bunny count as non-traditional? I have one and I love him

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?

- I think it’s a 50/50 split! I have a photo wall, and the rest is art

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go?

- The spiderman meme, on my feet so if I stand with them turned out it shows properly

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with

- Robin

Lakes, rivers, or oceans?

- Oceans and lakes for swimming, rivers otherwise

Favorite mid-2000s song

- AKA my childhood, Mr Brightside (also I just discovered that a lot of songs I thought were early 2000s were late 2000s rip)

How do you dress when you’re home alone?

- I sleep naked, and I often wear harem pants and a tshirt

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?

- On the right of the sofa

Knives or swords?

- Knives

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving

- AJR - Burn The House Down

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie

- HSM

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?

- Explanation, or a piece of my writing inspired by the pictures

Name a classic Vine

- Legit can’t think of any

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?

- okay so this is the first time in years I’ve had a freezer but when I get to pick - hash browns every time

How do you top your ice cream?

- I usually don’t?? Is this an american thing??

Do you like Jello?

- Meh, indifferent angel;  favorite album of all time? 

- this probably changes all the time because I listen to a lot of differnet genres but off the top of my head, bonxie by stornoway

honey;  are you a very affectionate person? 

- fuck yeah

moonlight;  do you enjoy museums? 

- yesss

roses;  what does love feel like to you? describe it! 

- love is like waking up, perfectly rested and relaxed, with enough time to start the day in whatever way you want. love is all the hard work you put into revising, the anxiety of exams, and the relief of them finishing all at once. love is commitment and trust and heartbreak and frustration. love is having your own language with someone, knowing what to do when they’ve had a hard day and needing no prompting. love is picking up their favourite shampoo when you’re out because you noticed they were running low. love is trying really hard to cook their favourite meal, failing miserably, and them eating it anyway, and lighting up at the effort you put in. love is friendship bracelets and origami butterflies scattered around your room. love is pulling back to allow them room to grow and pulling them up if they need some encouragement. love is sending them pictures with a “this made me think of you”. love is all these things and more.

shimmer;  zodiac sign?

- pisces

princess;  have you ever been to disneyland? if so, favorite ride? 

- nope, never been

cherry;  have you ever been to a psychic? 

- nope

magic;  favorite film? 

- moana probably

starlight;  have you ever written a love letter?

- yes and i want to again, they really mean a lot to me

velvet;  do you enjoy horror films?

- HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM, they give me nightmares

blush;  have you been to a concert? if so, which one(s)? 

- show of hands, stornoway, dodie

sparkle;  dream job? 

- translator for an lgbt refugee centre or academic

witches;  how do you like to dress? 

- depends, i have a lot of colourful clothes but i tend to switch between muted masc (greys, dark blues, black), vibrant masc (green, blue) and rainbow

crystal;  favorite planet? 

- saturn

sugar;  favorite pet names? (baby, sweetheart, etc.) 

- love, darling, babe, 

hopeless;  do you believe in ghosts? 

- no

glow;  do you have or want any tattoos? what of? 

- I want many, a transition one (which is a bit personal so not sure i’ll share rn), an infinity sign, a dodie lyric, something in russian, something watercolour

starlet;  what historical period is most interesting to you? 

- for my subject, the 1960s-1990s (yes v recent I know)

motel;  are you superstitious? 

- no

heart;  do you like the color pink? 

- ehhhh

golden;  do you appreciate high fashion? 

- i’m not eve sure i know what that is lol

[thelightofdelight]

What the....hudhaifaty!?

Assalamu'aleyykum and peace be upon you, friends! So before I get into this post, let me forewarn you guys real quick that this one is gonna be a little bit longer than usual (honestly, do I even write short ones at all?), but if you are interested in a refreshing and inspiring motivational speech, then stay tuned (just kidding…actually not really :-))

Basically, as always, I don’t know where to start. Especially because I still don’t know what I want this little project of mine to be. I had this idea several months ago and it was none other than my little son who gave me the idea. Well, not exactly, but it was his name and I’ll tell you more about it in a sec.

In the last couple of months there has been several changes taking place in my life and many doors have been closed while at the same time, many others have been opened. I have a plan to start my studies next year inshaAllah and before I want to take on this journey, I thought about what I could do in the meantime. Given the fact that we just moved back to Germany this summer, I literally felt like moving mountains. I don’t want to claim that my life has been restricted in the Middle East; if you know the right people and are familiar with the right places you can even do more stuff than in Europe, but that’s also the thing; it is completely up to you to seek any information, whereas in Germany, for example, the country itself officially provides you with a lot of possibilities and programs. But I don’t want to go deep into this matter because it’s obviously another topic. So as I’ve been saying, having completed one very intense and life-changing chapter in my life made me want to try something new, something risky and do something beneficial – so why not start your own business? It sounds way too far-fetched if you first think about it because people are way too afraid to actually just jump into the cold water. Well, I guess I would have been definitely one of those people if I wasn’t blessed with making the experience of living not only in another country, but even a whole new continent for the past three years.

Now let’s pick up where I left with my son’s name. There are many nicknames I call him by and one of them is obviously “Hudhaifaty” which means „my Hudhaifa“ in Arabic. So when I was in the midst of my brainstorming I had to think of him and his nickname and then I thought to myself „wait… doesn’t this sound like such a cute brand name?“ and then things were slowly but surely progressing from there. I kept wondering what I actually wanted to do with this „brand“ because I faced one dead end after another.

First of all, since the name sounded so cute and apparently had to do with my son, I immediately categorized the brand into a baby/child accessories one. However, I decided from the get-go that I wanted to do something personal and homemade rather than ordering pieces oversea and selling them here. But then again, I’m not really into handicrafts these days. I mean, I highly assume that I would find another passion when I would give it a try because I was so into crafting when I was little (any Art Attack fans here?!?). Also, I used to learn how to crochet back in elementary school but I forgot it all :-U

Another dead end was that I’m really not a fan of displaying children online. Along with the provocation of the evil eye/misuse of their photos etc., the bitter and still repressed truth is that children do have rights, too, and since they cannot decide whether they want to be displayed on social media or not, I personally believe – as well as many, if not all children’s rights organisations – that you shouldn’t take advantage of their lack of free choice. Eventually I concluded that not showing his face and laying focus on the knitwear would be a good compromise.

Talking about the knitwear: my Mom’s blessed hands lie behind the clothing items, and I explicitly call it clothing items because hudhaifaty most probably won’t be limited to hats only. My mother crochets a wide range of clothing or things in general, such as cardigans, blankets and potholders.

But how did I even come up with the idea to involve her in the brand? Obviously she’s the one with the talent lol. She just happened to randomly surprise Hudhaifa with a lovely hat which she weren’t able to for the last three years when we were still living in the Middle East. The last time she crocheted something for him was even before he was born. This fall/winter season is/will be the first one for Hudhaifa, so that’s why she thrives in crocheting fall/winter wear and hence became my muse. I was so amazed by her talent (to be honest, I never fully appreciated it because the things she crocheted were way too colorful in my eyes and I only came to realise how talented she is when I could actually choose the colors myself lmao) that I wanted to honor it by motivating her to start her own little company. She kept refusing by telling me that she does this merely for us, out of love, and apart from that, there are much more talented people out there and it was no sooner than this sentence that it hit me. I thought about combining her talent with hudhaifaty in order to prove her wrong.

People nowadays are so intimidated by other people’s talent that they are neither willing nor daring to start blossoming themselves. So in the main, this is supposed to be the essence of hudhaifaty. My goal is to motivate my Mom and prove to her that people actually wanna see her stuff and are able to find inspiration from it. My goal is to prove to her that people might wanna buy her work, even if it’s just one baby/child alongside its mother who she is able to make happy and keep warm! My goal is to inspire people that they need to start, dare and risk more often! Start learning new handicrafts, e.g. how to crochet (yup Yasmin, you should pick that up again!), dare to learn new things and dare to risk and to fail and start succeeding from there. Also, hudhaifaty is supposed to be a huge inspirational source for the hand- and homemade. Listen to this enlightening quote right here and let it sink in:

“It is often assumed that the chief reason for making things—furniture, clothing, toys, a garden—is to save money. There are other factors that may be of equal or greater importance: making what we need for life is a way of expressing creativity and of gaining greater confidence. Emotional security comes from providing the necessities of life in personal, meaningful ways, by our own hands or those of friends and loved ones. Another value in studying how things are made is to increase our appreciation for them as we better understand what makes them work. The knowledge that comes from shaping the things around us helps us build relationships with the world that are more intimate.” ― William Coperthwaite, A Handmade Life: In Search of Simplicity 

So I mentioned the ideas behind Hudhaifaty above and one of them was that I want to prove to my Mom that people will buy her work. Yet, I think this would be more like a “nice side effect” for now because she’s still not fully convinced. This means that the hudhaifaty “shop” is still under construction, perhaps until we get out first order. Promoting your own brand and selling your handmade things is as new to me as it is to her so bare with us if we still take things slowly and more loosely because there’s much more work behind it than one would think. Just know that I don’t want to put the ordered item in a random packaging and ship it. It’s about the details, you know, and the details again are about planning… let me leave it at that ;-)

Regardless we established a couple of guidelines for the shop yet:  

My Mom crochets at a great pace mashaAllah (another reason why I thought she could start her own business with ease) but nonetheless, she obviously also got other stuff to do and hence, we can only take 3 orders per week. This may change if your girl Yas will relearn how to crochet! :’D

All desires and preferences such as color, size etc. will be spoken about via DM only. Thus, the prices are also individual but it will be around 12/13€ on average, plus shipping costs. The prices can also vary a lot according to the type of knitwear. As I said, we don’t plan to be restricted to hats only.

Also, since the items being sold are all knitwear, I guess we will only be open during fall and winter season (so better get yours now!:-))

That’s already it..at least for now. We haven’t planned and figured it all out yet but I rather want to start now and develop throughout the process than not starting at all. Anyways, I can’t wait to start this journey together with you and see where it leads us! Bismillah :-D

(I think I should leave out the Islamic terms b/c this brand is supposed to be neutral and address all type of groups. Also, why do I even write in English because I believe we will only get German customers because the shipping costs are too pricy.)

#mywritings