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#i need to stop rambling. it's been like 4 hours or smth. but i feel like if i stop typing im just gonna bash my head against a wall or smth
spookyserenades · 9 months
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omg omg omg ok i actually need to breath & try to calm down bc i’m just so excited,so hyper, so all over the place & my adhd brain is going 99 mph & i won’t be able to write down anything in a way that makes sense.
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(i’m trying to kinda get out of my comfort zone & try to leave more open feedback under authors whose writing claws both my interest & admiration. so bc of that,i apologise in advance if my comment comes off as too much,messy or generally awkward😅)
sorry if i sound too rambly but i just need to say it somewhere,i physically can’t miss on the opportunity to speak & gush abt your writing,your creation & the chokehold it has on me!!
stumbling by chance through the wrk of art that your mind has crafted has been the best thing that could have happened to me the last 6 months!
the story that your brilliant mind has come up w/ & your great ability in putting it down,in narrating it so well, made so i just couldn’t stop reading: i needed to know where the beginning,the premise,was heading. i needed to know what would happen next. i needed to know where u would take this story,what turn would u take, how u would bring your characters to life & how they would play their roles in the story. i needed to know how u would make everything shift,grow,change,evolve,start,begin,finish etc in the story. i needed to see 4 myself your creation to the extent it would reach w/ each new chapter!
i’ve been talking(maybe a bit too passionately,srry 4 that😅) abt your story but let’s not neglect your writing!
oh god your writing,where do i even begin?!!
i feel like your writing is the main reason i got so engrossed into the story. 
your writing is breathtaking! it’s so curated & rich in thoughtful detail! its form is so smooth & clear,making reading it smth that occurs naturally & in a pleasant continuous way. your way of writing is so intoxicating,addictive to be precise.
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…on a sillier note,i really think it’s addictive,literally couldn’t stop reading & i may have got so much into reading that i forgot to have breakfast & lunch💀(no worries,they pulled me out of my induced hyper-attention & slapped me back into reality by the hour of dinner😂)
now,focusing more onto things of the story that stuck out to me b4 i lose my scattered brain cells that i managed to collect a bit:
-like another anon mentioned b4, it’s the 1st time i see it & i can only appreciate it. i’m talking abt how u have amalgamated the element of both the supernatural & paganism into the story,w/out being smth that clashed w/ the flow or the usual elements of the hybrid trope. it’s also a very important example of representation & diversity(like anon pointed out w/ the example abt christianity being almost the sole belief often represented,w/out bashing the religion itself ofc). as some1 who isn’t pagan themselves,respectfully, i found it both refreshing & also fascinating,& the way this element of religiosity(/ agnosticism in the case of jk) has been incorporated into the story def just added to the reading experience & made things way more interesting!
-i absolutely love how much detail & thought went into creating well crafted & attained to relationships outside the sphere of the characters who’ll be involved romantically w/ the protagonist. u gave so much importance also to other characters u created to portray diff relationships of family,friendship or simple encounters(gerry/the hairdresser etc) w/ the protagonist, building a wrld outside just the circle of future romance interest,which gives the protagonist so much more characterisation & realism. it made the story so incredibly immersive & realistic,regardless of the supernatural or not😆
-another thing that struck me,is the depiction of the hybrids as a marginalised group & the protagonist clashing w/ the difference in their privileges & realities. i remember she seemed almost unaware at certain points of the true extent of the cruelty & discrimination hybrids usually face,which makes sense considering she canonically has never been close to hybrids or their reality as much throughout her live(beside the lil fox frnd in her childhood) so it makes 4 a great starting point into her journey of learning,change,unlearning & coming to terms w/ the fact that if the boys have some moments of distrust,venting etc it isn’t necessarily bc of her but bc of what they went through & what they know & have lived on their skin & it is an experience that has left a trace in their brain 4ever & has impacted them & it may slip & show in their reactions or behavior w/ y/n(namjoon’s cold-hot treatment, jk’s animosity,distrust & need 4 distance, seokjin’s anxiety at the cookout,hobi’s alertness when she woke him up). we still don’t know the details,but it’s obvious that their past has traumatized them & shaped some parts of them & in your exquisite writing,that part of them isn’t smth that just unrealistically & magically disappears simply bc now they are in a healthier,safer,happier environment w/ the mc. mc’s efforts are mitigating the trauma responses & slowly setting the bridge toward the journey to start healing from their past(way later into the story,i assume) but she didn’t just “cure” everything already just w/ kindness & care,it’s a journey that just begun that we are still seeing unfold & shift according to the direction of the story & also to every individual hybrid,which makes it more realistic & captivating to read
(changing topic again b4 it slips past my vibrating brain🤡)
smth i’m super excited 4(beside ch 7 & tae’s situation that u left us in w/ a cliffhanger) is how u’r gonna develop the relationships between the hybrids & mc once they all start to develop feelings,accept them & start acting according to their feelings. i’m not only curious abt when & how it’s gonna happen 4 each character individually but also how this will change & shift the dynamic the hybrids are going to have w/ e/o at that point.
u also mentioned they all gonna be doms,so since you mentioned it i’m so intrigued abt what type of dom you’r going to make each character be & how they’ll start interacting w/ mc & e/o after their dynamics change according to their feelings
i wrote too much,too messily,too excitedly gosh😭😭
i’m very sorry if it comes off as too much,i would understand if it’s too overwhelming, sorry!😓
i hope you’r doing well,are healthy & always proud of what u write!😊💜
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I'm literally CRYING ahhhh 😭😭 I'm so so so happy and lucky that you've reached out and sent me such a beautiful message, it literally made my week I swear! 🥺 I'm also so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone to send in some feedback, as a fanfic writer it really means so much when readers interact with us and our stories, so I want to sincerely thank you for messaging me. 💜
!!! I'm so psyched that Trouvaille has made you so happy and you've enjoyed the story so far. Sharing it with others like yourself is so special to me and I'm so grateful that I get to connect with you through the story!
There are so many complex characters, backstories, subplots, themes and relationships in Trouvaille; and so the chapters can be a little jam-packed with information and details. I'm really excited that while you were reading you were eager to see what comes next and how everything fits together, its almost like a big jigsaw puzzle that comes together piece by piece with each chapter!
Thank you so so much for your kind words regarding my writing, my heart is literally so full I could cry... 🥹💗hearing that Trouvaille is coming across as something that is being developed smoothly and naturally is very encouraging!! It is a slow burn fic, so I'm glad that the pace is flowing steadily, and thank you so much for being so sweet... I hope I can continue to engage you through the story as time marches on!
fdjaksh Please remember to eat all your meals though, my dear! I've been there as well, unable to put a book down and somehow reading though lunch and dinner-- sometimes, a story just hooks you! (Remember Trouvaille Yoongi, too-- he'd want you to stay on top of your meals!💗)
I'm also very glad that you like the pagan and supernatural aspects of the plot and characters! It is a big part of MC, her mother, and for now-- Jeongguk and Namjoon's characters. Overall, the plot will continue to build upon the more occult and supernatural/paranormal themes, and more of the hybrids will become involved in various ways, so I'm stoked that readers are enjoying those aspects of the plot! It has been important to me to find the right balance between the religious/supernatural themes and the hybrid!AU, and to be honest, with every chapter I write it is still a balancing act. I am hoping to do these themes justice, and represent some pagan practices and holidays through Trouvaille in the best way I can based off of my own practices. I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the magic so far!
As for some of the side characters you've mentioned (!!!) I'm also super excited you've brought them up. I agree with you, it is important for MC to have relationships outside of the ones she has with the hybrids. She had a fully fleshed out life prior to meeting them at Gerry's shelter, so making sure that MC had plenty of friends, co-workers, family, and interactions with people such as Gerry or the hairdresser you mentioned was a priority to me. Some of my favorite interactions in Trouvaille so far happen between MC and her childhood best friend, Ben. Her friends will play more important roles down the line as the story progresses, specifically the twin sisters she is close to, Laura and Alice. I'm happy that these other characters have made MC seem all the more realistic, and that you've mentioned the side characters as well-- I had a lot of fun creating them! 🥰
SO you bring up an excellent point surrounding the hybrids themselves, and the relationship MC has with the species of hybrids in general. Nobody is perfect, least of all MC, and that's exactly how I wanted to write her. She can be naive, a little sheltered, overly trusting, and even somewhat oblivious at times. That said, I agree with you; she is definitely unaware of just how much hybrids, and her hybrids in particular, have suffered in the past. She knows that they've all suffered through traumatic experiences, but she doesn't know the details. MC is also blissfully unaware of just how much hybrids in her society are treated and even how they behave-- not because of willful ignorance, but simply because she never considered that she'd have a hybrid in her life, let alone seven. Sure, she's aware of the headlines surrounding hybrid trafficking, the wealthy adopting hybrids for sport hunting, but there is lots about the hybrid world she has yet to learn about. You're right, a major part of Trouvaille will be MC learning about hybrids as a species and truly understanding what it is like for them to move through the society Trouvaille takes place in.
I like that you've brought up specifically some of the boy's behaviors so far. Namjoon's hot and cold behavior is a big one, as well as Jeongguk's prickly, distrustful personality. Seokjin, notably, has a huge backstory that I've yet to dive into, but he has a lot of unresolved trauma/PTSD as well that surfaces as anxiety, jittery behavior, and phobias. As for Hoseok, there is no telling what he had gone through at shelters to react so defensively when woken up, as he had been moved around shelter to shelter- these are all things I'm super excited you have picked up on and remembered. Each hybrid has things to work on and through, but as you mentioned, these issues will not be solved simply because MC adopted them. Sure, a safe place to live and her kindness is a start, but there will be a long process of healing for each of the hybrids. Healing is never linear and the same goes for the hybrids in this story; it will get messy and angsty, but over time they will make great progress, I'm sure. One great trait MC has is patience, so she'll definitely make space for each hybrid to heal and open up to her in their own time. I'm excited to share all of these backstories with you all, as well!!
As for the romance! We are definitely a ways away from it, but hopefully readers can sense the slooooowww build to it with certain hybrids already. There is a lot to tackle before romance becomes involved (most of the reasons as to why in the previous two paragraphs) but the wait will totally be worth it! I have ideas for each hybrid and how they will realize their feelings (all different and unique to each boy), when their confessions will happen; the whole timeline for that is planned out, including the order of when each hybrid gets with the MC. I'm still working on how the hybrids will react to one another once romance is involved, its one of the things that has been more difficult to flesh out in my outlines over the past year. Not to worry- as there is much time to go before that happens LOL!
Sooo because romance is a bit far away, so is the smut. I have mentioned that I've written my Trouvaille hybrids as doms. I think, when answering this question in the past, I might have sparked a little trepidation in some readers. Because these are my characters I've been working on for over a year, this decision has made the most sense to me for several reasons that I've answered in previous asks. I also mentioned that there would be a great variety as far as how they'd all act in the bedroom, as unique as the characters themselves are, how their feelings during confessions would be, so too will they all be unique when the time comes for smut. Now, when I say they'll all be dominant, I do not mean they'll be 50 Shades of Grey type dominants. This isn't a BDSM fic. Sure, some of them will be rougher than others, but there are also the sweeter, more vanilla doms as well. Like I said, this is off in the future, so when the time comes, I'll appropriately label chapters with smut contained within them. This all boils down to how I've written these characters, including MC, as well as staying within my wheelhouse when it comes to writing sex scenes.
Again, my darling-- thank you SO SO much for sending me in such a lovely lovely message with amazing feedback, I adored hearing from you 💗🥰! You didn't write too much, or too messily, and I'm very happy that you were excited to chat about Trouvaille with me! Never apologize for expressing your thoughts, as well- that's what fanfic is all about, connecting with each other over stories! I hope you have a beautiful week, are taking care of yourself, and I'd love to hear from you again! 💜Much love, and I hope you enjoy Chapter Seven when it comes out 7/7 sweetpea!!💜💜
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holylacydoll · 3 years
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im just so restless rn idk
#like ive been up all night and im on some meds but not others#and i just cannot calm down. like. i can't rest and im so angry and nauseous. i want to kms yet i just sit here freaking out#i hate my life and i hate humanity. i hate living as what feels like not even half a person. i#im just this mess. im far from the worst. but others have made me worse & now im just this. fcking failed creature that should be dead#i wish i was dead i want to die i should do it but im a coward#i hate everything and everyone#i just want to die and stop existing. i hope there's no afterlife bc i'll probably go to hell but i dont care i deserve it. i want to never#think again. i want to scream im going to scream and i want to run for miles then stab someone then myself#hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate#what the fuck is wrong with me god i want to blow my gd brains out why am i like this why is tje world loke thid#true happiness doesnt exist. it just doesn't. it cant. it's only brief moments of joy between this pathetic misery. i dont trust anyone who#claims to be truly happy. or maybe it's possible if youre so selfish you can ignore the bad things happening to others if your own situatio#is going well. i cannot imagine. i suppose ignorance is bliss but i can't be ignorant when the cruel reality was forced on me &others i kno#even those i dont know. like. being that self-centered to just ignore other's suffering for my own happiness. i couldn't even if i wanted t#if someone says they're truly happy they must live in a bubble where they block out everything else. bc nobody with any compassion for othe#ppl could ever be happy from the bottom of their heart. it doesnt seem possible unless you are REALLY sick and/or selfish.#i need to stop rambling. it's been like 4 hours or smth. but i feel like if i stop typing im just gonna bash my head against a wall or smth#idk idk idk#yeah okay i need to stop. shut up shut up shut.up#ugh ugh ugh#im going to explode and scream :)#i just want to die NOW but im a coward so im just gonna try tje same shit i always do
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Shigaraki x Reader Request
Anonymous:
So I love your writing and I'm not sure if you've already done it before but I just wanted to ask if you could maybe do a shig x F! Reader scenario where she is on an important call, but Shiggy's all horny and starts feeling her up, maybe even goes as far as actually stuffing her, but she can't put the phone down cause it's a very important call with a very important client or smth like that heh I'm sorry the thirst for the crusty boy is so real rn 😩
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Shigaraki Tomura, one of the greatest known villains of all time. It wasn’t that he was extremely powerful, or intelligent, but he had enough common sense to assemble some of the more... interesting people to join his League and make it as powerful as it was today. You though, you were the best out of all of them. 
Your quirk was simple, you simply couldn’t get hurt. Like your classmate Kirishima Eijiro, your skin was your weapon. But unlike him, the effects of your quirk never went away. Simply, you couldn’t be cut, scratched, or punched. You felt no pain in the areas where you focused your quirk, and your skin couldn’t be destroyed. 
Sure, you were a lot like Kirishima, including your bubbly personality and need to always improve your strength, but you had a big secret. You were the fiancé to Tomura Shigaraki, or Tenko Shigaraki he had eventually told you. You remembered the day he had proposed to you. It was when he got back from fighting UA at the Summer Camp. 
He had “kidnapped you” just so he could get you alone for a few days, and ended up having you run away and act like you had “escaped”. During those days, he was more romantic, sweet, and loving than usual. Tenko loved pda, and refused to let you get up from the couch for days at a time. 
When the heroes were close, he gave you the ring, which you put a string on and put it on your neck to be hidden by your shirt, and then ran out into the road, pretending to be passed out for the heroes to find you. 
Lucky for you, it was Summer Break, and you were allowed to spend all the time with Shiggy that you wanted without the hassle of trying to keep such a secret. You also spent that time doing hero work, hanging out with your friendly classmates, and of course arranging things with your mentor Fat Gum, and your two best friends/ partners Tamaki and Kiri.
At the moment, it was noon on a Saturday, and you were sitting in the League’s living room watching tv, waiting for a call from Fat Gum to talk about starting working with Kiri and Tamaki during the week. Even though Fat Gum thought of you like his daughter, he was a big deal to you still, and this phone call meant a lot to you even though a lot wasn’t on the line.
Plus it was perfect for the call, with the League out on a mission, and you alone with the entire place quiet. Shiggy would be back tonight for a dinner date, and today would go smoothly. As you thought about your sweet boyfriend and hoped that he was okay, your phone began to ring. Picking it up, you heard the friendly voice of your mentor.
“Ahh, Y/n! Great being able to talk to you! We have Kirishima and Tamaki on the call as well!” Fat gum exclaimed joyfully as you heard greetings from your two guy besties. “Hey Y/n!” They called out in sync, Tamaki’s voice barely hearable. “Hey guys, I-” You stopped, hearing the sounds of the door becoming unlocked. What? They weren’t supposed to be home for another few hours!!
You got off the couch and ran upstairs to the room that you and Shiggy shared, closing it and sitting against it angrily. “Y/n, you good?” Fat gum asked as you responded with a happy hum, doing your best to be discreet as you heard your name being murmured around the League’s apartment. What that Shigaraki??? Oh no no no...
“Good, now here’s what I’m thinking...” As Fat Gum began trailing on and on, you opened the door to see a tired, worn-out Shigaraki. Feeling your heart be filled with pity, you signaled that you were on the phone, opened the door, and let him in. He walked towards you, pressed himself against your small frame, and kissed your forehead. “Aww, rough day baby?” 
You asked, cupping his face in your soft hands as he nodded, pulling you close to hug. He began to rest his chin on your head as you continued the call. “I’m free all day, but on Wednesday I won’t be able to go to Sakura Street because I need to take my sister to her swim practice.” Kirishima explained as you piped in, trying to catch up in the conversation. 
“I can do it for you!” You exclaimed, before Shigaraki began kissing your neck tenderly, letting his hands grip your ass and waist tightly like he usually did. “What t-time do you need?” You tried not to stutter as he pushed your body against him, letting his knee rub against your entrance like he did when he was horny for you. Oh god... not now Shiggy baby.
“Awesome! I just need you to cover Sakura street between three and four pm. Could you do that? You just need to walk down, and check that one alleyway that we were talking about because...” As Kirishima rambled on, Shigaraki kissed your lips passionately, beginning to push you up against the bed and bend you over slowly.
Biting your lip and mumbling any sounds you could make, you brought the phone back to your ear and listened as the boys talked. “Well I’m not busy then so I can take your shift Y/n. What are you doing 3 to 4?” Tamaki asked, as Shigaraki began to remove your pants. Shaking, you felt his hot breath on your body as you tried to carry on a conversation.
“Um, yea Tamaki...” Both of your shirts were now off, “Three to four?” Shigaraki slipped down his pants, revealing his boxer and large erection poking through, “I’m going to be... um...” Shigaraki slipped your panties down, and began fingering you, causing you to lose all control of your legs as you wrapped your legs around his torso to hold you up. 
“I’m going to be patrolling the Green Bridge area, n-near the baseball stadium. Just on those three streets, and then I was planning on stopping by Deku’s mom’s place to move some of her furniture. Shigaraki smirked at you, rolling his eyes and beginning to move his boxers down to reveal his large cock, throbbing for you.
Swallowing nervously, you tried so hard to focus on the call as your fiancé moved you, positioning you and getting ready to stuff you full of him. “Okay! Sounds good kiddos!” You sighed happily at Fat Gum’s comment, hoping that this call would end so you could focus on Shiggy who was seconds away from fucking you senseless.
“So Tamaki, tell me about your weekend.” Kirishima exclaimed as Tamaki began speaking, endlessly mumbling about his plans and how excited he was to see you and Kiri. Before you could mentally prepare, Shiggy shoved his cock into you, letting you scream out in pain and such amazing pleasure. It was amazing, feeling your walls wrap around him and throb with him.
“Y/n?! Are you okay?!” Kirishima asked, letting you know that you had probably frightened the three guys on the other ends. “Oh! Yea! I just... saw a... bug!” Between breaths, Shigaraki pumped himself into you, one hand around your neck tightly, and the other around your waist. 
“Oh, what did it look like?” Tamaki asked, and at that moment, you wanted to kill your best friend for making conversation. “It’s... big... and fuzzy. I’m going to go... kill it!” You squeezed the sheets beneath you, silently gasping as Shigaraki pounded into you, overstimulating you to the ends of the Earth, which you both loved.
“Love you guys! I’ll text you guys tonight in the group chat... when I’m... done! Bye!” Without hearing their responses, you hung up the call and threw your phone to the other side of the wall angrily. Shigaraki smashed his lips to yours as he pulled out, laying you on the bed, and climbing over you. “Good girl... such a good girl. You’re able to be a good hero, and still please the worst villain.” He bent down and kissed your forehead again, before beginning to just lay on you.
You ran your fingers through his curly hair as he rested his head against your plump chest, breathing slowly and trying to calm him down. “So... what happened?” You asked sweetly, almost swearing that he began purring. “Dabi had to save me from almost getting shot in the face.” You looked down at your boyfriend, your eyes wide and fearful.
The guy was behind me, and was about to shoot before Dabi burned him and made him miss. If Dabi wouldn’t have been there, he would have hit me right in the skull.” Shigaraki explained as you began giving him a scalp massage, causing him to move his head and close his eyes peacefully. Your touch always made him feel better, if not 100% happy again. 
“I just... needed to feel your touch. If I die, I know my last thought is going to be of you.” Shigaraki confessed, sitting up and looking at you, his lips parted. Here he was, pouring his feelings out, something that he never did. “I... I love you so much Y/n.” Shigaraki leaned in, sitting you on his lap and beginning to kiss you, intertwining four of his fingers with yours. “I love you too Baby.” 
Hun, I totally understand your thirst. Shiggy makes all my daddy issues come true in one microsecond. For a good month he was all that I could think about!! <333
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matronaa · 6 years
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Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Word count: 1,637
Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?
Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig
Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)
Okay im sorry ill begin~
A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry
Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki
I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them
Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps
Anyway
you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year
You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t
Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??
Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8
First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay
But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you
But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml
And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L
He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies
But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning
Oh, just me? Okay…
He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you
Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE
That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes
And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall
And ur like well shit nvm
And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d
But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up
A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone
On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you
But u dont mind because he smells nice
And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because
1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work
2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent
Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”
He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing
One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week
But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school
Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself
And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long
But you agree anyway
And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks
And his mom loves you
Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”
When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.
finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise
Shit
You like him
Like a lot
And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen
But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out
Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms
And its like the best feeling ever
Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you
You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep
And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch
But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping
Nope not creepy at all
its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)
You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”
And you’re like w a t
So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is
And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me
And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”
Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up
Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him
And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on
“Omfg y/n i can explain-”
He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone
And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out
But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.
Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”
Or Maybe thats just my mom idk
You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him
When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”
You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you
And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”
And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not
And he is so down for that
But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you
And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.
Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his
But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t
Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this
And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight
And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute
It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other
That was definitely the night you fell in love with him
Which is big because you thought love was gross
The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”
And ur like duh
You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks
He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini
You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.
Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last
UNTIL HE CHEATED
Lmao jk gotcha bitch
My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat
Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy
He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down
But ofc you set some boundaries.
There were lines he couldn’t cross
I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick
Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend
I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.
Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite
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obaewankenope · 7 years
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this is the autistic ask nonnie, if you just tag it with "autism" or smth I should be able to find it. thank you!
Hello you! I promised to give you references yesterday but chaos happened (so sorry, I’ll make up for it I promise) and so I’m a day late! But all is not lost!! Here, be prepared for the influx of resources and such to help you out :))
Note: We are avoiding any and all links to AutismSpeaks since it is bad and evil and wants to cure a perfectly natural condition and keeps coding anyone who is Autistic as some inept monster-child and it’s so ablest that fire (and bitter hate) is my go-to solution for them rn.
Additional Note: Most of the things you find online about Autistic are written from a poor-parent’s perspective and often focus on the negatives of ASD and then hyping up ‘treatments’ to make your child “better” and help “improve” them. It’s all icky and wrong and while I personally feel that some aspects of ABA could be potentially beneficial, the way in which it is generally applied is horrible and so ablest it fucking hurts.
Right. Let’s set off shall we!
.
1. What is Autism?
In a sentence? Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects how ASD individuals see the world and interact with it. 
Note: ‘Neurodevelopmental’ is a fancy way of saying, how the nervous system of the brain develops. People with Autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders are known to have a-typical rather than neuro-typical (i.e. someone who doesn’t have Autism etc).
2. What are the Symptoms of Autism?
Well apart from making it sound like Autism is a disease - which really? rude - the signs of Autism can vary depending on a lot of socio-cultural factors (as can a lot of disorders tbh) but there are some that tend to be consistent across the board. 
Autistic children always show signs of at least two of the following:
Issues with social interaction
Limited verbal and nonverbal communication
Repetitive behaviors or interests
Note: I myself showed issues with 1 and 3 at an early age, with 2 becoming more pronounced from a shiteload of traumatic experiences I’m still working through at the age of 23 :)
There are some signs of Autism that infants show between six months and two years which include:
infrequent eye contact
fixation on objects
no babbling or gesturing by 12 months
no single words by 16 months
no spontaneous two-word phrases by 24 months.
The NHS website has a good summary of the behaviours common to Autism in children which I’ll sort of paraphrase here (I do recommend you read through it and perhaps speak with older siblings/family who may be able to provide you with anecdotal evidence of you doing similar things yourself; this can often help build the groundwork for a formal diagnosis):
Children may have issues with using non-verbal, non-explicit behaviour when interacting with other children; e.g. playing games may become additionally difficult if they rely on eye contact or gestures
Eye contact is limited or non-existent or it is prolonged and often uncomfortable for the person being stared at
Isolation is a very real thing with ASD children who may shun the attention of children their own age, playing with younger or older children, or seeking out things they can do alone
Empathy is affected by ASD (in the book The Science of Evil, Simon Baron-Cohen points out that there’s two types of empathy and ASD individuals tend to lack the cognitive empathy of understanding and imagining other people’s feelings, but don’t lack the affective empathy which can drive them to becoming upset or highly emotional when someone is injured) and this makes understanding people’s emotions and feelings really frickin hard. The challenge here is neurotypical people don’t have the issues with communication that ASD people do and so get an instinctive, innate set of rules to guide them in communicating and empathising with other people while we... don’t. Hence why ABA is usually mentioned as being useful for ASD people in order to ‘correct’ this (hiss-hiss, bad logic here, stop trying to fix and instead provide new tools for us hiss-hiss)
Repetition is a thing and people will hate us for it. Words, gestures, expressions, all of it. They may all be repeated constantly for days, hours, weeks, months, by ASD children. Some don’t do the ‘pretend play’ most children do, others repeat the same pretend play over over
Change is evil and it’s hard as heck for ASD children to adapt to when it’s random and unexpected. Stimming behaviour or meltdowns aren’t uncommon at this point - flapping hands, covering ears and screaming/crying - because there has been a rapid change in the environment or structure and our tiny ASD brains do not like the change and want the order and routine we’ve come to identify and enjoy because order is relaxing. 
3. Am I Autistic?
Honestly, best answer I can give to anyone besides the shrug emoji a half-dozen times (seriously, I will do this to ya’ll) is I don’t know.
Being Autistic isn’t so much a “one day I woke up and suddenly I was Autistic” like it can be with depression. It’s more of a “one day I woke up and realised, ‘hey maybe I’m Autistic because X, Y, and Z’”. 
Note: There are some cases of people experiencing brain injuries and becoming Autistic but that’s more as a result of their brain going “shit shit shit, must redirect current to new pathways, shit shit shit” and less a natural, biological or genetic predisposition towards the disorder.
Additional Note: I really hate the word ‘disorder’ and want to slap myself every time I use it, but I digress.
4. How do I go about getting a Formal Diagnosis?
I got diagnosed purely by chance if I’m honest. As a child my mother took me to our local GP who said I was “two years advanced” and that was that until I hit 15, ended up in counselling and was self-harming regularly because hey-ho near-death experiences are really traumatic, who knew! My diagnosis then wasn’t regular or uniform, even though my elder brother is Autistic as well as there’s actual research suggesting a genetic heritability for ASD in siblings of Autistic individuals and their parents but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway. Moving on!
In the UK, most of the time you can just go to your local GP and say “hey I think I’m Autistic, can you refer me to a specialist on this?” and, while they might argue or try and quiz you themselves about it, they don’t really have the right to refuse you (though they can and often do... assholes).
If you’re in school, or have someone you think is Autistic in education at present, you can go through the school to get a referral. Sometimes this can be quicker/easier or can help kick your GP’s ass into gear and get the ball rolling.
One of the things that exist in the UK is a Speech and Language Therapist. I’ve seen these guys twice in my short life - once when I knocked out my two front teeth like a champ and couldn’t talk properly for ages (I was a stupid child), and the second time when I was mentally messed up and they went “huh, think she’s Autistic ya know” and things rolled from there. In my experience, they’re pretty good and the tests they give you are also pretty decent.
You’re measured on emotional intelligence, watched for how you speak, expressions, if you include people in conversations, how much you talk, if you allow other people to join in or if you monologue and other things. You’ll get asked about your interests and if you ramble for twenty minutes or sth, chances are they’ll be ticking a box labelled “shows intense interests in specific topics” and you’ll have another mark in your Autism checklist.
5. Okay, so I didn’t read any of this, give me the low-down?
Autism is an disorder that affects social skills and usually involves lots of repetitive behaviour. 
It’s diagnosed by a medical professional with experience of the disorder. 
I only know how the UK goes about with diagnosing it but logic says America needs to work somewhat similarly.
If you think you have Autism, chances are you do, and you’ve had it for a long time and been coping without realising.
AutismSpeaks is evil and needs to go die in a fire.
That is all :)
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uniformbravo · 4 years
Text
since it seems to be steadily taking over my whole brain now im just gonna let myself ramble about yugioh for a bit
idk i just keep thinkin abt how it was my favorite show when i was a kid... like not just i liked it a lot, but u know how when ur a kid u pick ur Favorite things & it’s a big deal, like i had Declared this as my Favorite Show
i honestly don’t rly even remember my experience with it in terms of my Feelings like i dont remember having a favorite character or anything like that, i just have a lot of Evidence of me liking it lmao like. u know those school folders they sell at like walmart that are themed after different shows n stuff, i had a yugioh one & it was cool af (i still have it actually, i’d get it to take a pic but it’s in my brother’s room & its almost 1:30 am). i remember my best friend at the time (like. 3rd grade) said she hated yugioh so she would always scoff at my folder lmaooo but like i knew she was wrong so
o shit i found a pic of it online tho here it is
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gangs all here...... dam when they droppin their latest single tho lol
i also got this yugioh play set for christmas once, it was like. a plastic dueling arena that u would set little monster figurines on and each player had a bunch of little orange plastic balls that they would take turns shooting at each other’s monsters until urs were the last standing, or something like that? all i have left of it are the little orange balls and a couple of the hologram projectors that went in each of the 4 corners of the arena. i wish i knew what happened to the monsters tho, bc they were actually pretty cool. there was like. a blue guy. and a gold one. i think one of them might have been the summoned skull? i think they were mostly monsters that became plot important later in the show & i’ll definitely recognize them when they show up but i haven’t gotten there yet.... im pretty sure they were basically exodia’s pals tho, like reputable monsters. the Big Boys
hwhgosFHOFJ I FOUND A PIC OF THIS ONE TOO
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HELL YEA BOY THATS FUCKIN IT BRO AAAAAAAAAAAA
every bone in my body just liquefied and became nostalgia from looking at this image GHRGHGH I WANT IT SO BAD
ofc i also have a deck of actual cards w/ such iconic features as the dark magician (which is Shiny), summoned skull, change of heart, and this one rly beat up guy i found half buried in the sand on the playground at school one day named griggle, my prized possession
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(imagine this but more fucked up looking)
oh and how could i forget, i fuckin. made my own deck of cards, it’s like a bunch of cut out pieces of scrap paper that are all different sizes & i made up a bunch of monsters and drew them & my favorite part (i looked thru it the other day) is there’s a couple cards in there with just numbers on them which i assume was either meant to be added to the monsters’ attack or ur own life points, but one of them is 500 and the other is 50,000,000,000 which is absurd i literally just wrote as many zeroes as i could fit on the paper & it shows, imagine drawing that fucking card my god. i imagine that in my mind it was like, meant to be really rare & hard to get but like. the whole deck is only like 30 cards? so i guess @ whoever faces me u better fuckinnn say ur prayers
that’s all the physical evidence i can think of, but i do have some memories..... fuck i remember watching all the new eps air on saturday mornings aaaa oh man there are a few Classique moments of the show im excited to get to, not by virtue of being particularly Good but because despite having been such a big fan of the show i like barely remember anything from it at all, so these little bits and pieces that i do have r like. exciting. im arranging them into a bullet point list
first of all, and i may be wrong, but i stg at one point pegasus drops someone thru a trap door in his castle or smth??? or someone gets thrown out a window or Something idk why this moment stands out so much but if it doesn’t happen then i will be Very disappointed (i think it was bandit keith. get fucked)
this one’s already happened a few times but for some reason a memory that stood out to me from this show is yami yugi being like “pegasus!” in his Deep Man Voice all like >:o so i was v happy to hear that. also while im here this is pretty obvious but the way he says “previously on yugioh” at the beginning of eps is great, love it, having a blast w/ that one
one saturday there was a big two-part hour long special called “joey’s betrayal” where like idk joey has to duel yugi for Evil Reasons or something and i was SO HYPE for that special bc i was like O Shit joey’s Evil now and like. this was around the time that my sister kinda stopped wanting to get up early for saturday morning cartoons lol so she was sleeping but i was So excited for the ep & i didnt want her to miss it so i left her a note on the desk in our room for her to see that had all the info abt the episode like the title & the time it would be on so u know she could like, wake up & See it & come out n watch it, but the whole thing went by & she never woke up so i had 2 go back in there & take the note down & throw it away looooooooool. but yea so im REALLY excited to get to that episode due to its Impact
eventually i kinda lost interest in yugioh & stopped keeping up with it but obvs the show kept going on w/o me & one day i turned on the tv & it was on & it was like, tristan was trapped in the body of a teddy bear or something? & i was like wow thats weird glad i stopped watching & i never looked back but now I Am Looking & i can’t wait to get to that episode, however-old-i-was me was a Fool
this one doesn’t count but i remember thinking the theme song was SO COOL (and i was right that shit slaps so hard )& being disappointed there were no lyrics i could sing along to..... except for when it was time to d-d-d-duel ofc
FUC I JUST REMEMBERED ANOTHER THING I OWNED HOW COULD I FORGET oh my godddd it was a yugioh poster that i had on my wall for so long & i am EXTREMELY sad that i don’t have it anymore, idk why i thought i could just Throw It Out like a CLOWN, but it was like. it had yugi and friends on it (tho i think one of them might have been missing, it was either tristan or tea, also i just learned how tea’s name is spelled fuckin HUH), & yugi is like, he’s little yugi & he’s got his hands & maybe part of his face? pressed up against the “glass” (the barrier separating his world from ours, keeping him Contained), i remember this detail clearly bc i looked at it a lot and learned how to draw that effect from that specific poster... anyway the best part of the whole thing is that it came from like a scholastic book fair or something so it said in big letters “it’s time to READ!” it was SO good & im DEVASTATED i don’t have it anymore........ to gaze upon its brilliance one last time....................
anyway i think thats all my yu-gi-oh related childhood memories woah why did i type out the whole ass title like that this time damn what the fuck lmaooo 
rly sad abt the poster actually the more i think abt it the cuter it sounds tbh i wanna see that art again..... how could this happen.... i tried looking it up like the other stuff but i couldn’t find anything at all u_u
ok it’s late af now i need to go to bed before i pass ou
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