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meimi-haneoka · 3 months

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{drabble} I'm here - Akiho/Kaito

Alright, how do you do any of this...😂

I guess what you need to know it's that it is a Akiho x Kaito / YunaAki drabble, it's based on canon (set 3 weeks after the series ended), and it's based on the assumption that, differently from what the ENG translation said in ch. 80, in the JP Sakura affirmed that thanks to his stopped time Kaito wouldn't be hurting more than that...this means that his seizures would continue, just they wouldn't get worse than what we've seen till now.

This is mainly a hurt/comfort drabble, with glimpses of happiness. After all, Akiho is happy with him. And it's mainly a way for me to vent some complex feelings about the finale of Clear Card. I have a Kaito POV on the way (edit: here's the link, go read it after you finished this one!), but it's more difficult to write for him (and, uh, more depressing) so it'll come in the next days.

Easter egg: a line is a direct reference to the lyrics of Anata by Hikaru Utada. 😉

I'm not a native English speaker so forgive me if any line sounds weird!

Finally, I have to thank the "enabler" dandelion-stuff-and-fluff (not tagging in case you don't want to!) for giving immediately support to my whims! 😂

Excerpt:

I could feel the tears emerging, but I kicked all of them back, as I threw my 13-year-old self out of the window and summoned the part of me that helped me survive all these years. The resilient one.

Akiho's POV

Three weeks had passed by, from that fateful night.

Most of our stuff was packed, and our days were spent between checking everything for the imminent departure and hanging out with Sakura-san and the rest of the group, making the most out of the remaining time. Everyone was so lovely to us, showing all the support we needed. I really felt like I had acquired a family in Tomoeda, and the thought of it made me incredibly happy. I was going to miss them so much. Just like I would miss this big mansion full of memories.... and mysterious protective forces, apparently, as I was told by him.

Kaito-san revealed to me that when we came to Tomoeda almost one year prior, he had chosen this mansion specifically to protect me, as I was carrying a dangerous magical artifact that my own clan had engraved in me. We talked quite a lot over the span of those three weeks, and swallowing the truth had been hard, at first. But all of that was gone now and like waking up from a nightmare, the memories of it were getting more and more hazy as time went on. Only a permanent scar remained.

Both of us were in the kitchen, cooking dinner. The clang of kitchen utensils, the sizzle in the frying pan made me strangely happy. It sounded warm. It sounded normal. I love cooking with him. This was the corner of the house where we declared to each other how much we cherished one another, without even fully realizing it.

“Akiho-san, could you hand me the salt?” “Here you go!” I said, smiling brightly at him. He smiled back at me in that soft way that made my knees weak. God, please, give me this for the rest of my life. Every day, immutably.

“Done! We’re ready.” Removing our aprons, we were getting ready to bring everything to the table.

And then I saw it.

He stopped in his tracks, his complexion paling by the second.

Another one was coming. My blood ran cold, and I rushed to the other side of the room, while he slowly crouched to the ground, out of breath, groaning in pain. Each cry stabbed me in the chest like a knife. I could feel the tears emerging, but I kicked all of them back, as I threw my 13-year-old self out of the window and summoned the part of me that helped me survive all these years. The resilient one. I hastily opened a cabinet and took out a finely decorated small box, toppling other items in the process. I didn't care. Hiiragizawa-san had sent us, through a magic portal, a series of pills he made weaving a complex magic spell over them, to help Kaito-san cope with the seizures. He said they wouldn't do any miracle, but hopefully they could reduce the duration of the seizures and ease the pain a little bit. Cause the pain he was experiencing wasn’t caused by anything ordinary, and no ordinary medicine would’ve been effective.

I grabbed a towel, flung it over my shoulder and ran back to Kaito-san with a glass of water, spilling some of it in the process. I watched him as he struggled to swallow both the pill and the water.

How many times did he experience this excruciating pain, completely alone? How many times did he force himself to not crumble down in front of me, to protect my peace of mind? Just thinking back to all the times I could feel something was not right, and how he tried to deceive me to keep dealing with it all alone.... it brought back in me an anger I didn't know what to do with.

Yes, I didn't get over it yet. The wound was still so fresh. But we agreed that we would’ve dealt with this together, from now on. ...And just like that, the fit of anger quickly vanished, as a gentle feeling got a hold of me, and I began unbuttoning the collar of his shirt to let him breath better, then dabbing his damp forehead with the towel. "It's okay.... it's okay... I'm here" I whispered softly, like a lullaby.

As if surrendering himself to me, he held onto my arms and leaned over, trying to regain control of his breathing. I supported him, thanking in my head a hundred times that his time was halted. Yes, we were trying to look for a way to eventually make it flow again, but it was in moments like these that I remembered how numbing the fear to lose him again was. I couldn't live with that. With that feeling of hollowness. Not again.

That's why, I said to myself, this time I would've done anything in my power to not lose him, come what may. I wouldn't have spared any effort. Losing him would’ve been a hundred times more devastating than the pain I was feeling in that moment, seeing him in those conditions. After all, he was feeling like that because of me.

“Momo...please give me strength”, I thought, missing my beloved bunny more than ever. Who knows how many times she had witnessed all of that, and how she dealt with it. I could’ve used some advice in that moment.

His ragged breath became more regular, the pill was starting to kick in. He raised his head and looked at me. Those eyes I loved so much, now covered by a mysterious dark fog - a remnant of the dragon appearance, as they explained to me – seemed to regain finally focus. His face was so close to mine. In another situation, in another more oblivious period, there’s no doubt my heart would've exploded from embarrassment, red in the face like a tomato. But right now, I was preoccupied with something completely different, as I looked at him holding nothing but worry and sadness in my eyes.

"I'm sorry...", he whispered.

I could feel my heart catching fire, and it reminded how much I love him, despite being so hurt by his reckless behavior. But I didn't answer to his apology. Cause that wasn't what I wanted to hear from him.

Instead, I asked him “can you stand up?” and helped propping him up when he nodded. We proceeded slowly towards the couch in the living room, where I helped him lying down. Despite having tons of lovely memories here, this house was starting to be a bit too big for us and for emergencies of this kind. Hiiragizawa-san's pills had a sedative that inevitably caused Kaito-san to fall asleep, to recuperate. He looked so exhausted. I arranged some cushions on the ground and sat down beside the couch, watching him closing his eyes and drifting quickly into sleep. I moved some of his hair to the side and dabbed the towel over his forehead one more time. Then I went back to stare at his peaceful face, lost in thought. Was I truly prepared for this, when I decided that the life I wanted was this one? Probably not. Would I have chosen anything else? Absolutely not. Being with him is my happiness, after all.

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51ft · 6 months

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your doodles always look so clean! any tips/advice on line quality? line confidence? or is it something you dont usually think about? personally I feel weird and off posting messy,searching-line doodles and i look to yours for insp on getting better!

oh thank you!!! hmm its hard to give broad/generalized advice on drawing i think bc its usually such a personal and specific process but ill thought vomit some stuff and maybe some of it will be helpful LOL;;

i think personally rather than aiming for 'clean' drawings i try to make 'accurate' drawings in the sense that, I try to visualize the shape or form i wanna depict before putting down the lines...? i find that its so easy to get lost in the sauce when i forget to have that intentionality if im drawing anything other than extreme muscle-memory stuff LOL

and thats why refs are super helpful!! actually my favourite thing to do is to just pose in a mirror bc i dont need a photo ref necessarily i just need to know how certain body parts will overlap/interact/be oriented when doing certain poses

BUT MAINLY IMO the more u draw, the more of a visual library u develop, the more u find shapes/methods ur comfortable with, so its all just a slow process!!! GOODLUCK

#q&a #but there are not two of me so thats why i struggle so bad when doign 2 characters interacting (crying)#sorry if u let me start talking about drawing i never stop #another one of my toxic traits revealed #also bc i draw so much i think ive trained my hand to be steady LOL #a lot of drawing is cerebral but a steady hand unfortunately is a physical thi #BUT STUFF LIKE SKETCHES/REFS/PERSPECTIVE RULERS/GRIDS #THEYRE ALL THER TO HELP!!#actually ever since i started treating perspective as a tool to help me draw instead of a horrifyign unexplainable thing #my world has expanded to smuch #like drawing perspective doesnt need to be perfect it just needs to LOOK right #so even if the perspective is ''wrong'' its fine as long as it looks good and u are using it to help u #well..most of the time

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