I'm having incoherent thoughts about clone danny again from the clone/clone^2 au (when am I not?) but more specifically I'm thinking about his reaction to finding out he's a clone. The standalone clone au digs into that a little more than clone^2, which is more focused on Danny and Damian's relationship. But neither (so far) really get into Danny's issues about finding out he's a clone after 15 years of thinking he wasn't.
Because he resents his parents for not telling him for so long. He resents the way he found out; through a trivial school project rather than a sit-down talk. He resents the fact that, apparently, they had meant to tell him sooner. But forgot. He resents the fact that they never told him because finding out feels like something was stolen from him when it had the chance to not be.
Danny Fenton, just fifteen, cloned not even half a year ago, knows what that personal violation of autonomy feels like. He knows what it's like to be cloned and while he loves Ellie, he does, she's his sister, and in this au his twin. But he is still left with that feeling of unsafety after realizing he'd been cloned. Being cloned is violating. The onset realization that it's so easy to get DNA without the other party noticing, and that what was stopping someone from trying to clone him again?
Followed only after with the rest of the inexplainable mix of feelings of being cloned, the rest of that inner conflict and panic that's an ugly mocktail of emotions that range from horror to fear. Trying to imagine what it's like to be cloned from the cloned party, and I imagine that it leaves you with the feeling of needing to crawl out of your own skin with discomfort.
And then he gets put on the other side of it. Danny Fenton, only fifteen, was cloned not even half a year ago, finding out he is a clone. And reactions, I imagine, can vary from person to person. But to him, it feels like something got stolen from him, like someone took a hole puncher and stuck it right into his chest and stole a chunk of himself from him.
It changes nothing about him and yet it changes everything. It's a betrayal on it's own to just find out he was a clone and they didn't tell him for fifteen years -- it shouldn't mean anything, because he's still Danny, and yet it means everything. It's him, it's him, it's about him. It's his personhood. It's about the fact that a load-bearing rock in his identity just crumbled beneath his feet and now there's a rockslide.
Because then he finds out that they used the wrong DNA. Its like pouring salt in an open wound. He's not even related to his parents or his sister, when for years he thought he was. It's the fact that pieces of his identity that he's been so secure in for so long just got ripped away from him in an instant. Then they tell him -- only through his own horrified prompting -- that the person whose DNA they used -- Bruce Wayne -- didn't even know he existed. That they accidentally used the wrong DNA, then didn't tell the person whose DNA they used.
The betrayal of being lied to for years turns really quickly into horror at his own existence. Something very similar to the horror he felt at being cloned and the skin-crawling discomfort that made him feel like his own skin wasn't really his. And then its not. It's actually not. Nothing but his own name feels like it belongs to him anymore -- not his hair, not his eyes, not his heart or his lungs, nothing feels like his anymore and he didn't know what that felt like until it was gone.
It's a question of Nature Vs. Nurture -- where does the line of "nature" begin and where does the line of "nurture" end? What of him is actually his? What of him is Bruce Wayne's? It's not logical, it's not supposed to be. It's a load-bearing wall on the house of his identity being destroyed and now everything else is caving down in on him. What belongs to Danny, what belongs to Bruce Wayne?
323 notes
·
View notes
Life as a JGY stan is so hard because sometimes I want to make posts about the ways his very justified paranoia turns against him sometimes, rare moments where I think being more trusting or vulnerable would have helped but he felt like it couldnt, or talk about how his brutal survival instinct intersects with society's existing bigotries in a such a way that most of his violence is actually aimed at people lower on the ladder than him, with people like Jin Guangshan being the exception not the rule. Because he's a fascinating character and these parts of him are interesting!
But when I do that I have to live in perpetual fear of the moment that it escapes its target audience and someone takes it to go "Yeah he's a monster who fucked over everyone and is incapable of love! I wish he was killed earlier and his death was a thousand times more painful 🤪"
I mean, take my last example. Due to existing hierarchies it is, at any point, easier and safer for jgy to harm people less powerful than him instead of more powerful than him, even if the more powerful are the ones threatening his safety in the first place. Even knowing how it harms him and while working against it, Jin Guangyao is not immune to internalizing the mindset of the world he lives in. Even when killing Jin Guangshan- one man- it ends up costing the lives of 20 sex workers. You think I can bring up the sex workers in this fucking fandom? You think that will go over peacefully? The well has been so thoroughly poisoned here it feels like any conversation around morality automatically turns into a courtroom to determine a sentence for this fictional fucking character who's already dead.
214 notes
·
View notes
So the thing that gets me about Starlo — the thing that really gets me — is how much this guy hates himself.
It's not something you notice the first time you're playing, because he's so confident and enthusiastic. He'd almost be cool if he wasn't such a dork. But after replaying the game with the context of where he came from, — and I'll admit, after reading some very interesting, in-depth fanfics and analysis about him, I'll try to link them if I find them again — his character becomes a bit... blurred. How much of this is Starlo, and how much of it is North Star?
Because- because the whole point of his sheriff persona is that he gets to be someone else, isn't it? When he's out there rootin' and tootin', acting out his hero fantasies and trying to imitate the characters from the westerns he admires, he becomes someone much cooler than himself. North Star is everything Starlo wishes he was: the fearless leader, the cunning cowboy, the confident sheriff who saves lives and wrangles bandits and hangs out with humans. Not just some nobody farmer who could disappear in the corn field without anyone noticing, not the son who wastes his time on daydreams.
He craves praise so deeply. That's the big difference between Star and Papyrus, I think, because Papyrus is just so unapologetically himself, while Star... he starts spending more and more time with this mask of greatness he made himself. Because people like North Star. Not Starlo.
North Star is a real sheriff. Not Starlo.
North Star is the one who brings help and hope and fun to monsters. Not Starlo.
North Star is the one worthy of being appreciated. Not Starlo.
And like... he wants to be liked so badly. So much effort is put into making sure North Star is good enough that Starlo tends to assume people hate him. He assumes his parents hate his life choices (they don't; they're proud of him and know he cares), he assumes Clover will laugh at him when he shows his face to them (they don't; despite everything, it's still him), he assumes the reason he fell out with his friends is because he wasn't a good enough sheriff (he knows damn well it wasn't actually Clover's fault, he's not THAT stupid. But he's still desperately grasping at the last pieces of his shattered persona, so if he just works harder, if he does what a real sheriff does and captures this human, then everything will be alright, won't it?)
I really wish we could have gotten more insight on Starlo's relationships and personality before the whole Wild East thing consumed him. Ceroba and the Feisty Five say they miss the old Starlo, but we never really get to know who the old Starlo was. And I don't think he knows either.
Wake the hell up, Star. People started liking you before you were North Star. Go eat some corn and calm down.
Point is, the impostor syndrome goes hard and that's such a mood. He was supposed to be the cool and silly cowboy guy, what the fuck–
72 notes
·
View notes
thoughts on Ginny and Harry as a couple?
There are a lot of people who find their romance in HBP forced. I don't think it's forced so much as underwritten, and the books don't get the chemistry quite right (though the movies certainly don't, either). There's potential, but they just don't get enough actual scenes of substance (besides Harry thinking she's pretty or feeling jealous of Dean) for a lot of readers to buy that they're not only in love, but deeply enough in love to break up, get back together, and wind up married.
That's not to say I don't see the appeal. There's a very cool scene in Book 5 where Harry's doing a woe-is-me-Chosen-One act, and Ginny effortlessly puts him in his place about it by reminding him that she was possessed by Voldemort at eleven, which is a rare glimpse into her character and also a great synecdoche for their relationship — Ginny is a grounding presence who, like Ron and Hermione, isn't going to be awed by his past adventures because she knew him before they happened. In that respect, Ginny's probably one of the few women Harry could feasibly wind up with, because he only ever seems comfortable around people (let alone girls) who can see past the Chosen-One schtick and treat him like a normo (see: Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, Luna, Hagrid). True to type, he doesn't get interested in Ginny at all until she's ditched her celebrity crush and ceased to view him as an idol, because in his heart of hearts, Harry wants to be a normal boy, and it's stressed over and over that part of what he likes about his relationship with Ginny is how normal it feels. He kind of has a horribly supercharged version the celebrity dating problem: after the Battle of Hogwarts, anyone he meets is going to know him first as Harry Potter, Chosen One, Boy Who Lived, and Actually Fucking Resurrected Messiah of the Wizarding World, which is... I mean, it's possible that there are witches out there who could get over that, but Harry's not an extroverted guy, and I'm not sure how he'd go about finding them. Ginny's the one who's been there since the beginning, doesn't need anything about him or his past explained to her, and actually likes him for who he is.
When you look at it that way, it's not surprising he married his high school girlfriend. She's one of the few people still alive who doesn't see him as a demigod.
53 notes
·
View notes
Too many people want tsukasa to be viewed as socially cool. I think we need to accept that the only kind of cool wxs member is emu who befriends idols joined like 400 clubs and knows almost everyone. Emu has a million friends & most of the lines other characters have abt her are like “emu :)” meanwhile the lines abt tsukasa are all like “he is so weird.” & you want to pretend he’s cooler than her… be so serious…
Nene is also Lame & Rui is only cool to other nerds (gestures at pandemonium npcs). Crucially Tsukasa is an annoying theater kid. No annoying theater kid is popular or cool in highschool. It is central to his character and him being a weirdo who (canonically!) gets no bitches & yet somehow knows major celebrities is one of the funniest and most endearing things about him. Guy who in canon goes to school and people are like “it’s this weirdo again (sees he’s with rui) oh fuck oh no.”An (friends with everyone) & Akito (guy on sports teams) are the only cool characters at Kamiyama.
53 notes
·
View notes