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#i no longer say sorry because hey irl shit happens. it's better to say thank you!
percygranate · 11 months
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Plant Rant.
So you’re trying to tell me that my name is fucking PERSEPHONE, and I can’t keep a fucking plant alive for shit?!
I have so many fucking planters on my balcony, and everything I planted and tried to keep alive is DEAD.
BUT NOT ONLY THAT!
I have crows in my neighborhood, and they fucking planted shit in my pots. I rarely check them out; not ONCE did I water them.
AND GUESS WHAT!
They thrive. They are fucking beautiful.
There’s this succulent I growing outside, between the fucking concrete tiles of my balcony floor, and I took some of it inside and was so fucking nice to it, and it DIED WITHIN A WEEK!
I cried. Obviously. Because I'm a MURDERER!
And now all the planers are FULL OF IT. So apparently, crows are better at keeping plants alive than I am!
But it gets even FUCKING better.
My MOTHER, Ms. Neglectful-&-Traumatizing, Mother Gothel IRL, just needs to look at a plant, and it will fucking bloom!
Mind you, this woman hates everything that’s alive and breathing because she, again, is the literal DEVIL — from the Bible — and she forgets to water everything; she just watches that shit and says, “Hey, I’m sorry, dude. Don't be a bitch about it,” and I kid you NOT it fucking blooms like you’ve never seen it before.
My grandma had a cactus for 30+ years, taking excellent care of it, and it did not bloom once. She gave it to my mom because she had to move and no longer had space for it in her new home. AND within a month of my mom having it, that fucking thing was blooming!
A few months ago, my mom bought me a succulent in a dinosaur planter because I am ✨fucking autistic✨, and everything dinosaur shaped is the best thing that has come into existence since sliced bread!
And she told me that succulents are tough to kill and they survive nearly everything, so it would be a reasonable starter plant for me.
ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED!
IT DIED WITHIN 1 1/2 MONTHS. My mom bought herself the same plant in an alpaca pot, and it's still alive.
So, what the fuck is going on here? Is my mom literally the Demeter to my Persephone, and I'm the fucking butt of a joke my autistic ass doesn't get? Because we sure as hell have the same complicated relationship going on.
Does the real Demeter herself not like me? Well, hop on board because my actual mom doesn’t EVER.
— Okay. I'm done now. Thanks for coming to my rant. I'm feeling better now. Can we get some witches and green thumb people in the comments, please? Because being out bested by a crow and my mother is a bit insulting.
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meltwonu · 4 years
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s n a k e     |     e y e s     [chapter 4]
pairing; snakehybrid!woozi x female!reader
this chapter’s notes; 🥰💕 HELLO Y’ALL! Strap in for the longest chapter yet fdjhgkkhsf also just,,, i know hybrid aus are different and in the real life only female mammals go into heat but as u kno this is fiction and a hybrid au so for the sake of that, heat cycles r not gonna follow irl rules if u kno what im sayin!!! Also fingering and a little bit of dirty talk, and jihoon being a cheeky lil shit🥴🤤 again thank u all for taking interest in snake eyes!! 💕💕💕
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - x - x - x
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You try to avoid Jihoon for a couple days, going to the office building where you sometimes worked to try and buy yourself some time away from the snake hybrid. You can’t tell if he notices your eagerness to be away from home but you apologize to him in your head, leaving cash on the table for food when you leave in the morning for the third day in a row.
And although Jihoon may not mind your absence that much, your co-workers take notice of how often you’d been coming to the office lately.
“Is everything okay at home?”
You spin your chair around to face the cubicle next to yours, meeting the curious eyes of Seungkwan, a junior writer that had worked with you a few times. You worked as a journalist at a magazine company; sometimes taking the part of an editor when nobody was available. Thankfully, your job allowed you to work from home a lot of the time which you preferred, up until a few days ago anyway.
“Huh? Oh yeah, things are okay. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing just… You almost never come in, like, 3 days in a row? Minghao was starting to get worried too, to be honest.” Minghao was the editor in chief at your magazine company and was actually a good friend of yours. You valued his opinion more than anyone as he was insanely level headed and always lead you in the right direction when you needed a helping hand. He also had a hybrid at home, which you had forgotten about until now.  
“Oh… I mean, my mattress has been kinda… y’know, getting old so…”
“What does that have to do with you coming in 3 days in a row? Really, are you okay? You’re not making much sense...”
“I--I think I need to talk to Minghao.”
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Knocking on Minghao’s office door, you try to balance the two cups of coffee in your opposite hand, making sure they don’t spill as you grasp the door knob.
“Come in!”
Pushing the door open, you shoot Minghao a lopsided smile as you hold up the coffees, kicking the door shut behind you.
“Wow, can’t say I’m surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… 3 days in a row? Something’s… off.” You sigh, setting the cups of coffee down on Minghao’s desk before sitting down in one of the seats across from him. “Is it really that obvious?”
“Well.. the last time you came in this often was when you broke up with your ex… What was his name? Soonyoung?” The name strikes a chord inside you, almost dropping the cup in your hand when you bring it to your lips to take a sip. It’s not that the relationship with Soonyoung had gone sour necessarily, in all honesty it was better than the two of you had broken up because both of you were too focused on your jobs to be in a relationship at the time. However, it still had been somewhat hard to get over; you were used to having Soonyoung around in your life and apartment and having Jihoon around was surely filling in that space lately.
“Uh, yeah, that’s him. I mean, I just… I have some questions if it’s okay?”
“Yeah, of course. We’re friends before co-workers. What’s up?”
“You… have a hybrid too, right?”
“I do… wait, you said ‘too’. Did you get a hybrid? Is that why you’ve been so out of whack?”
“Well, I did... His name is Jihoon and he’s a snake hybrid.”
Minghao can see you fidgeting from across the table, his eyes focused on the way you can’t even make eye contact with him. “He’s not… hurting you, is he?”
“What! No! Never, he’s really kind and…” You trail off, a blush creeping onto your face the longer you simmer in your own thoughts.
“Let me guess, you like him like him, don’t you.”
“I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
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When you get home from the office, the sun’s already been down for a couple hours.
You’d taken the longer way back, thinking about everything you and Minghao had talked about and making some decisions for yourself before making it home. You even stopped at the cafe, grabbing a small dinner and checking to see if the cute barista Jun was around. Sadly, he was not.
“Jihoon, are you here?”
“In the bedroom!” Trudging over, you see Jihoon exiting from the attached bathroom, wiping his hands on a towel. “You got back just in time. I… um, ran you a bath! It’s still warm so…” He trails off, sitting quietly on the bed as he watches your eyes flit from the bathroom to him.
“How’d you know I’d get back around this time? It’s very sweet of you Jihoon but also… why?” The snake hybrid fidgets, hands curling around the hem of his sleeves. “Um… I dunno, you seemed kinda tense lately. And you always do nice stuff for me so I wanted to do something nice for you.  And you always come back around now, kinda. Guess I was just taking a chance?”
Any coherent thoughts leave your brain at how cute Jihoon is, a serene sigh leaving your lips as you step closer to him sitting on the bed. You run your fingers through his hair as he leans into your touch, wrapping his hands around your waist as he pulls you in closer.
“Hmm…”
“Something the matter?”
“You… don’t smell like you lately.” You break into a bit of a cold sweat, fingers pausing against his scalp. “O-oh.. I thought you said your sense of smell was better with your tongue?”
“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean my nose doesn’t work. And you smell like… other people. It’s weird. I’m not used to that.”
You blush again, pulling away from Jihoon as his hands fall from your waist.
“I should take that bath you ran for me while it’s still warm then, huh?”
“Mmhmm.”
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When you exit from the bathroom, Jihoon’s already under the covers waiting for you.
“Already going to bed?” He nods, a yawn on his lips as he tugs the covers higher up onto his body. “Did you eat already?” Jihoon nods again, patting your side of the bed.
You slide into bed next to him, eyes drawing random shapes onto the ceiling as you lay there wide awake.
“Hey Jihoon?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something?” The snake hybrid turns to face you, turning onto his side as you do the same. “Sure, shoot.” You feel nervous; thankful that it’s dark so he can’t see the way your skin flushes red. “I… sorry if this is stupid of me to ask but you… don’t go into heat, do you?”
Jihoon’s quiet for a moment, a cold hand wrapping around your wrist as he tugs you closer to him. “I can feel you getting warmer cause you’re probably embarrassed. It’s okay to ask. But can I ask why you’re asking?” Clearing your throat, your eyes adjust to the darkness, staring Jihoon straight in the eyes.
“Oh, I was talking to my f-friend earlier who has a bunny hybrid and… he said that his bunny hybrid goes into heat and I was just wondering? He makes his bunny hybrid take suppressants for his heat and I just… I guess I could’ve looked it up but I figured it’d just be better to ask you since we never really talked about it and it’s been a couple weeks since you’ve started living with me.” Jihoon processes your words, puffing his cheeks up in the darkness as he thinks.
“Technically no. I mean, like I’ve said before I don’t really have many snake-like features anyway so even if we did, I probably wouldn’t. But no… if there’s anything, I’ll probably be, um, a little sensitive to you--your, uh… cycle. Cause… smells and stuff.” This time it’s Jihoon’s turn to blush as he mentally kicks himself for his questionable reply.
“O-oh. I see… I mean, okay. That’s good? I mean, oh my god, about you not having to take suppressants! Not about… the other thing.” You can’t help but think that it’s been weeks since Jihoon started living with you which meant you’d already gone through a cycle and Jihoon hadn’t said a word about it.
“Yeah, I mean, I probably would’ve told you otherwise if it was a problem, I guess. But anyway, do you have any other pillow talk questions?”
“Um…”
“For the record, my dick is normal.”
“Jihoon!!” You can feel yourself start to sweat under the covers, mind conjuring up all sorts of inappropriate scenarios until Jihoon laughs out loud, his cold hand sliding under your neck as he wraps his other hand around your waist, effectively drawing you into him as he holds you tight against his chest.
Eventually all you hear is his steady breath, the quietness letting you know that he’s fallen asleep.
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A few days pass since then, and you’re thankful that things go back to what you consider normal as you set up your work space in the living room. You’d texted Minghao a few times earlier, letting him know that things were getting better at home and that maybe he and Chan could come over for lunch sometime the next week. He agrees, telling you he’ll text you his free dates when he has time.
Jihoon was still asleep even though it was already closing in on 1PM in the afternoon. But you had chosen to not wake him up, letting the male sleep in as long as he wanted while you worked on a new draft for an article.
But it’s when you get up to make another cup of coffee after 30 minutes of working that you’re hit with a wave of arousal out of nowhere; body heating up in an instance as you feel wetness pooling between your thighs. Instead of making another cup of coffee, you immediately pick up your phone, swiping until you find your period tracker to check the dates. Fuck, you think, this would fucking happen to me after I fuckin’ asked Jihoon all those stupid questions!
The panic hits you like a ton of bricks when you hear the bedroom door opening. You wonder if there’s time to run out of the door and hide for god knows how long before Jihoon even sees you. But in the time it takes you to figure something out, Jihoon steps into the living room, hair still messy from sleep as he stretches. You watch his movements, hyper aware of the fact he can probably smell you to some degree from where he stands. And it was fine when you didn’t know he was sensitive to your cycle but now you did know which made things a little more complicated.
“Did you already make lunch? I’m starving.” Your throat feels dry, but you try to compose yourself to the best of your ability. You almost wish he hadn’t said anything about being sensitive to your cycle in the first place because the hyperawareness was apparently already eating you alive.
“Oh, um, I can make some now actually! I was just about to! I’ll let you know when it’s ready!”
You all but power walk towards the kitchen, not waiting for his reply as you focus on making something to eat; hoping the smells from the kitchen bury the smell of you ovulating to his sensitive nose.
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Jihoon is normal for the rest of the day, albeit you’re on edge. Regretfully, your conversations throughout the day are clipped, mentally apologizing to Jihoon again for your weird behaviour even if he seemed to be taking everything well. Your panties had been annoyingly wet all day, even when you’d gone to change them and it was almost time for bed again which had you panicking yet again.
You take your time to get ready for bed, slightly avoiding Jihoon until you realize there’s no getting out of it. There was a second where you debated asking him to sleep in his old room but it’d been so long since he’d slept there that you felt bad for asking.
When Jihoon calls your name, you exit the bathroom, turning off all the lights before slipping into bed next to him. You feel like a plank of wood next to him, awkwardly stiff as he tries to get you to face him.
“Hey…”
“Yes, Jihoon?”
“I don’t want you to feel awkward even though you’ve kinda been all day… It’s okay, y’know.” You turn away from him, facing the window in your bedroom. You can see the moonlight filtering in through the curtains and it distracts you for a second but you think about how you could cry at how genuinely sweet Jihoon was, even when you were being aloof all day. “Sorry it’s just… You’ve been here for weeks which means you already had… had to deal with me going through it once and you didn’t even say anything? I should’ve asked you sooner cause now I don’t know if you were okay and now that I know you know and you’re sleeping next to me still and I--”
“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay!”
Jihoon presses into you from behind, the coolness of his body permeating his sleep clothes and cooling down your heated body even just a little bit. “I was okay last time too. Like I said, if there were any problems I would’ve told you right?”
“Yeah, but--”
“No, no buts! It’s fine, really. If I’m being honest… it was kind of nice. You got extra warm during that time. Sorry if that’s kind of weird. Guess you can say I’m an opportunist.” There’s a slight chuckle to his voice as he wraps an arm around your waist. It’s silent for a beat as you slightly relax in his hold.
“Jihoon can I ask you another question?”
“Shoot.”
“Did you… um, were you like this with any of your past owners?” He sighs, nuzzling into your neck as he stares out window with you. “No. Never. Honestly, I’m a little shocked at myself too. But I guess it’s also because I spent most of the time alone when I was being adopted into other homes. You’re the first person who’s adopted me that’s around my age and… genuinely nice. I don’t feel like a show animal here.” The two of you fall into the first comfortable silence all day; Jihoon’s fingertips playing with the material of your sleep shirt.
“Can I try something?” You hum at his question, muttering a small ‘okay’ under your breath.
Jihoon starts slow, cold fingertips lifting your shirt inch by inch underneath the covers until your sleep shorts are exposed to his wandering hand. You can already feel your breath getting caught in your throat as his cold digits skim the waistband of your shorts. “Is this okay?”
“H-huh?”
“I need to know if this is okay, before I continue. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you because of what I said earlier.” You gulp hearing his words; technically, you’d both benefit from this.
“I… yes, I’m okay with this Jihoon. Please… continue.”
The snake hybrid is silent afterwards, his lips pressed against your clothed shoulder as his hand dips into your sleep shorts. His gentle touch has you moaning softly, eyes fluttering shut as you let him explore.
“You’ve been wet all day, haven’t you?”
“Uh… Uh-huh…”
“It’s cute you were trying to hide it like I didn’t already know.” His words are muffled against your shoulder, lips curling up into a cheeky smile that you can’t see. “I gotta be honest, I kind of regretted telling you at first, y’know? You were more open when you didn’t know. I was sad seeing you all clammed up and trying to hide from me earlier.” Jihoon’s fingertips press into the wet spot on your panties, garbled noises muffled by the pillowcase as you press your face into it slightly.
“I--Isn’t this w-weird?”
“Hmm? What’s weird about it?” Your body's on fire under the bed sheets and Jihoon’s touch and he’d barely even done anything to you yet. “I mean, y-you said you’ve never done this but---mmh, you seem so okay with it, J-Jihoon.”
His fingers play with the hem of your panties for a second before they slide against your skin, dipping deeper and deeper until they meet your wet folds. You moan, already rocking against his hand as you search for more contact. “I’m not completely inexperienced. And let’s be honest, hasn’t there been some tension between us anyway?” You almost grimace, knowing damn well you were suffering from your inappropriate dreams and your long ‘baths’ you would take to relieve yourself hoping he didn’t notice. But you also are surprised to hear that he, too, was feeling something towards you.
“Oh, uh… that’s...”
“Mm, I’m really sorry but your long ‘baths’ weren’t really fooling anyone you know.”
The embarrassment from his comment dies immediately when his fingers slide through your folds, spreading your wetness from your hole to your clit before rolling the nub between his fingertips. You moan Jihoon’s name, begging him to touch you more.
He indulges you, coating his middle finger in your wetness before easing it into your pussy. You immediately clench around the digit once he’s knuckle deep, whining when it’s not enough. Jihoon laughs slightly, pumping the digit in and out as he thumbs your clit.
“You’re so eager considering you were hesitant about this. Wanna talk about it?”
“Ngh, can--can we do that later? I’m so s-sensitive right now, Jihoon, I already feel like cumming… Can you… can you talk to me instead?”
“Aren’t I already doing that?” His cheeky reply has you whining again but he eases another finger into your pussy, scissoring the digits inside of you. “F-fuck, you know… what I mean. Please!”
“Is that what you like? Dirty talk?” He nuzzles into your neck, kissing the exposed skin before his lips travel up; kissing the shell of your ear. You hadn’t noticed at first but his body temperature is akin to yours now, the heat making you sweat a little as he fingers you under the sheets. “You know, sometimes when you sleep you make these cute little noises… They sound like pretty moans sometimes and it makes me wonder what you’re dreaming of when you’re wrapped up in my arms.” The wetness between your thighs is obscenely loud when Jihoon thrusts his fingers harder and faster into your pussy, your moans and whimpers mixing in.
“You smelled so good last time too. Maybe it’s just instinct but I really wanted to taste you. Maybe I could taste how sweet you really were if I had said something sooner? I’d get you to cum on my tongue over and over again and then lick up all that sweetness ‘til you’re begging me to stop.” His dirty words are whispered softly into your ear, small kisses in between as he tastes your warm skin.
For once, you really hoped this wasn’t a dream.
“Mmh, Jihoon, I’m--I’m gonna cum…!”
The snake hybrid doesn’t reply, instead rubbing your clit harder as he continues to thrust his fingers into you. And although you weren’t reciprocating anything, Jihoon felt good too, the warmth from your body making him feel comfortable and at ease.
When you finally cum around his fingers, you whimper his name, toes curling as your legs clamp around the hand between them. You can feel your breathing stop for a second as your orgasm crests and Jihoon can feel your walls throbbing around his fingers, a small groan against your ear as he slows his movements until your orgasm starts to ebb away. You don’t really know how much time has passed but the stickiness between your thighs starts to feel uncomfortable as you shift slightly; Jihoon’s fingers still inside of your pussy.
“Ji--Jihoon…”
“Hm? Oh, right.”
He eases his fingers out of you, a whimper escaping your lips at the sensitivity.
Jihoon brings his fingers up to his face over your shoulder, your wetness coated all over the digits as he brings them to his lips. You turn your head slightly, watching him through sleepy eyes as he laps at them, cleaning each finger meticulously as he moans. You almost hate the way you already crave his touch again just from the sight.
When he deems them clean enough, he smiles, satisfied. There’s a yawn on his lips afterward, his arm easing your shirt back down as he wraps an arm around your waist again. You lay there for a few minutes, feeling the urge to sleep pulling you in. But you try to get up to get cleaned off, finding yourself already locked into Jihoon’s hold as the male has seemingly already fallen asleep within the few minutes since.
You sigh, easing into his hold as you toss the idea of even trying to get cleaned up out the window. You lay there thinking about all the things you and Jihoon would need to talk about in the morning; thousands of different scenarios flitting through your mind of how it could go. You momentarily think of all the questions you want to ask Jihoon as well. But sleep eventually finds you, eyes drooping shut as you finally welcome it.
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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years
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Her Heavy Cross
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Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?
Pairing: OMC x OFC
Word Count: approx 3.8k
Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death,
Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.
Part 17 Part 19
Part 18
It was a crazy week, and by Wednesday, I had had enough and wanted it to be all over. It was the last day of school for the term. The kids were rowdy, and it was hard for them to concentrate. I gave up structured lessons after the morning session, and we did Easter craft. Still, even craft was hard for my kids. Most of them can't use scissors without assistance or had to use modified ones set into a wooden block. It wasn't a bludge, but it was much less stressful for both the kids and myself.
I had playground duty at lunchtime. Some of the older mainstream kids had heard about Liam, and a few would walk past me and sing the theme song to his superhero movies. Others would have a conversation with me and sneak in a movie quote. Lucky for me, most of Liam's films weren't appropriate for children, so there were only a few they could use. The kids would run away giggling, and I would shake my head. I wasn't upset by it, kids are kids, and at least they made their fun to my face.
The parents were awful. The mums would go quiet when I was near them, and I would hear laughter or whispering as I walked away. The dads looked at me just that little bit longer, making me feel uncomfortable. I just tried to remember Liam's arms around me, the way he made me feel safe in his arms. I found myself touching my earrings a lot. They soothed me.
The worst part was the other staff. Not all of them, just a couple of the younger ones and newer ones. Their eyes seemed to bore into me in the staff room and in meetings. The ones who had been here when Andy died were good. They appeared to be on the same page as Marla had been. The rest of the support class teachers and TA's were kind. They actually asked me to my face about it, seemed happy for me, and then that was it they moved on.
My boss, Michael, did call me into his office on Monday afternoon. He was good about it mostly, just concerned because apparently, the office staff had received a few phone calls from a couple of media outlets trying to get in contact with me. The staff were good enough to hang up on them. I was honest with Michael and said I didn't know what my plans were, just that we were dating. I did tell him about how it would be official on Thursday, but it worked out well because the office would be empty for two weeks, and by then, I'll be old news.
When I spoke to Liam on the phone, I had told him about how I was feeling. I was honest about it as much as I could be.
Liam was empathetic and seemed sincere when he said I didn't have to go. "If it's too much, we can wait for another time. The dress you have will be as good in a few months as it is now. Or we can return it all and try again later." Cheekily he said, "I'll let you keep the earrings."
I declined. I wanted to get it over with. I figured the quicker it was done, the quicker no one would care, and I can go back into hiding. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Just do it.
When I had gotten home from work on Tuesday, I had decided to do the hardest thing of all. I called Andy's mother.
Anthea was born in Greece and immigrated to Australia with her family in her early teens. She had met Andy's dad, Tim, a white Australian with Irish heritage, and they had a beautiful marriage. They had five children, three boys and two girls. Andy was the youngest son and was the unofficial favourite. She had always been lovely to me. She always called me Little Lana and would always hug me and insist I ate. On my birthday, she would make me galaktoboureko. She still calls me for my birthday and invites me over for Orthodox Easter and Christmas. I don't go, but I always make sure to call and send presents for my two godchildren.
"My Little Lana," Anthea gushed. "It is so good to hear from you. How are you going? Tim, Lana is on the phone! He will be so happy you called. Yes, Timothy, it's Lana. Yes, Tim says g'day. How are you? We miss you. How is work? How are your precious children? You do such good work, Little Lana."
Did I mention she talks a lot? She was one of those people who seemed to speak without having to take a breath.
"Hi Anthea, I'm doing well. Work is great, really good. I have a great bunch this year."
"Yes, you sound happy, Little Lana. Your new boyfriend must have something to do with it? He is very handsome. Not as handsome as Kamari mou but handsome. I showed all my friends, and they tell me you are still so beautiful and your hair is still so pretty and long. So long now. You've grown it."
I was stunned. I tried to talk, but the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't swallow. I tried to say something, but all that came out was a huge sob, and I broke down.
"I'm sorry, Anthea, I am so sorry."
"Why are you crying? Stop it. Alana, why would I be upset? Why are you crying? Don't cry, silly girl. You should be happy. I do not expect you to be wearing black, like an old lady from my old country, for the rest of your life. I know you loved my son. but you're too young to grieve forever."
"I wanted to call you and tell you, but it happened so fast." I was still crying, but it wasn't so bad now. Anthea had comforted me in a way that I hadn't even known I needed. That she still loved me when I had started dating another man was incredible to me.
"You shhh, Little Lana. Listen to me. You have obviously called me for permission whether you know that's what you were doing or not. You have it, my blessing. Kamari mou wanted you to be happy also. He would not want you to be alone forever. You know this. Go speak to him, speak to Andy, and you will know."
"Thank you, Anthea."
"There now, Little Lana, you will be ok. Now no more speaking of sadness. I must tell you all the wonderful news. You will be an Aunty again soon."
Anthea talked to me for a little over an hour. Talking to Anthea was being talked at, but I needed it. I promised to call her again soon. She, of course, invited me to Easter but didn't expect a reply.
I felt lighter after talking to her. She was right. I had needed to know from her that she was ok with it. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been. I don't think I would have ended it with Liam. I think I was in too deep, but it would have been much harder to go on.
Anthea was right about something else too. I needed to talk to Andy.
So after school on Wednesday, I drove to the cemetery. I went and saw my Dad first. I didn't have much to say to him. I just sat there and let the memories come to me.
I remembered when I was six, and he shaved his moustache off, and I hadn't recognised him. I had run screaming to my Mum that there was a stranger in the house. I remembered how he would take us to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve, getting there early to get good spots and watch in awe as the fireworks exploded over Sydney Harbour. Nothing was as breathtaking as my home city on New Year's Eve. I thought about how he loved David Bowie, and he had even convinced my mother to name my brother after him. Dave and I had taken Dad to see David Bowie a few years before he passed away, and it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. The Labyrinth is still my favourite kid's movie, and Jareth was my first crush. He looked so good in those tights.
I went to see Andy. I don't see him very often. I go on Boxing Day, his birthday and our anniversary. As had become my ritual on those visits, I had his old phone and listened to his playlist. I laid down on the grass next to him and looked up at the sky. After a while, I started talking.
"Hey Butthead," I started, smiling as I said our private nickname. "I've got some things to tell you. First of all, I miss you. But surely you know that. And I know you know I will always love you. You were such a beacon in my life. A light for me when everything else was dark. I was like a moth to your flame. You drew me in, making me want to be close to you. You always made me feel like everything would be ok if I just stayed in your light. Things were so dark when you were taken from me. For so long, I felt nothing. Everything was dark.
"But then I started feeling better. I still missed you every day, but I wanted to find that again. Feel that love and safety again. I started dating about six months ago. Online mostly, you know, how the kids do it these days. I went on a few dates but felt nothing. Or if I did feel something, I felt like they weren't as good as you. Why would I settle for anyone who wasn't as good as you?
"I don't mean the same as you. I mean someone who moves me the way you did. Someone who showed me kindness like you did, someone who made me laugh, made me feel giddy. Someone I was attracted to. But also someone I wanted to do things for, someone who I wanted to go out of my way for, not because they forced me, but because I wanted to because I knew they would do it for me.
"I was about to give up. I only tried dating for a few months, but it felt so futile that I didn't care anymore. Then this guy started messaging me. He was sweet and funny, a Pom, but don't hold that against him. Anyway, I liked him instantly. It scared the shit out of me. I made him wait three months before I agreed to meet him. I was so scared because I knew I could fall for him.
"And when I met him, the sparks were there. It was instant. He was all the things I wanted. He's not like you. You're both very different. I mean, he doesn't like Mad Max for God's sake. But he makes me feel the way you made me feel. And Andy, I am falling for him."
*********************
"Lana, hold still." Jen was pulling my hair. I looked over at Riza, who was covering her mouth with a magazine. Her shaking shoulders gave her away, though, and I could see she was laughing her arse off. "I only have a couple more to do, and then you can go home and sleep."
I was at Riza's place. I had to see Jen after I spoke to Andy. Jen wanted to put my hair in pin curls. She had washed my hair and then got started pinning small sections of my already curly hair into curls.
I thought it was weird, but she said the hair has to be curled in the right direction for the style to work. She also said that the longer the curls were in, the better the result. That's why I was at her place, getting my hair done 24 hours before the event. How do celebrities live like this?
"How the hell am I going to sleep in this?" Riza's dropped all pretence and was laughing openly at me now. "Get bent, Riza."
"Hey! You're the one who looks like a 1950's housewife right now."
"1940's babe," Jen admonished. "Get it right."
When she finished, she wrapped my hair in a silk scarf. "Did you buy me an apron to go with the barefoot in the kitchen look?" I asked.
Jen laughed. She knew me well enough to know it was a joke. "Trust me. You're gonna love it."
"So when do I take the clips out?" I asked Jen.
"Not until I do your hair."
My eyes bulged. "I'm going to Liam's place hours before you're going to get there."
Riza pissed herself laughing, and Jen just said, "trust me."
When I got in bed, I rang Liam. I Facetimed him. Maybe if he laughs at me now, he won't laugh at me when I'm there, which would break my heart. His reaction surprised me.
"Why are you wearing a scarf? Please tell me you didn't dye your hair." He looked devastated.
"And what if I did?" I asked.
"You would still be you. It wouldn't change anything." He sputtered.
"Nice save," I laughed.
"I think being a redhead suits you. It makes you a little different."
I told Liam it was to protect the pin curls so they don't frizz. "You don't have to worry about me dying my hair until I start going white. I've never died my hair. It's my natural colour."
Liam's lip twitched. "I've noticed." He said.
I could have died.
On Thursday morning, I skipped the gym for obvious reasons, showered carefully so as not to wet my hair and started to get ready. I packed my bag and packed a bag for Perrin with his bed, crate, and food. I did a quick run through the shops to the dressmaker to pick the dress up from the dressmaker and to buy underwear for the dress. I didn't need a bra, but I wasn't going without underpants.
In the morning, I pottered, waiting for lunchtime to arrive and for Liam to finish his half-day at work. I was so jittery I had dropped my coffee this morning, and the mug had smashed. Not having anything to do and waiting for hours made it all worse. I had to do something, so I painted my nails and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.
The story took me over, and soon I was transported with the action and exceptional dialogue. I decided the only person who could convince me to be an actor would be Quentin. I even went and got out my "Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino" hoodie for added comfort. When it was over, I did feel a little better and whistling the song from the movie, I got Perrin and went to Liam's.
By the time I got to Liam's house, the nerves had come back. I found it hard to concentrate and almost just walked Perrin into the backyard. I sighed and put Perrin on his leash and texted Liam that I was here, and walked to the park with Perrin. We had planned a way to introduce the dogs during the week. The snag was I had agreed to it before I knew about the hair situation. But I found an old bucket hat of Andy's that fit and hid most of my head. I still felt ridiculous, but at least the hat somewhat normal.
When I saw Liam, my heart leapt. I wanted to run to him, have him hold me, soothe away all the pain of the last week and fear of tonight. But we had to introduce the dogs first.
We walked to each other as Perrin and Cole had a little sniff of each other. There was no immediate dislike.
"Hello, Sweetheart." His voice took my breath away.
"Hi," I said.
"Cute hat."
"Arse." I was smiling, though.
"I've missed you," he smiled broadly.
I gave him a small smile.
Liam farrowed his eyebrows. "These two look like they are ok," he said. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"
I nodded, and Liam leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before we started to walk. We went side by side, keeping the dogs apart. Liam put his arm around my shoulder.
"You're very quiet this afternoon," he said after a few minutes.
"I'm nervous."
"About the dogs or tonight?" He asked. "Or something else?"
"Tonight." I felt like a petulant child with all these short remarks, but I couldn't give him anymore just yet. I let my head rest on his shoulder to try to let him know he wasn't the reason I was acting distant.
Liam squeezed me. "You'll be ok. You're going to be dressed beautifully and appropriately. No one is going to laugh at you. You'll see. Myra and Boyd are all excited to meet you. This is Myra's boyfriends first red carpet, too, so you won't be the only virgin." He paused and chuckled. "Although, I had better keep you two apart. He's a sparky? I think that's the word. I don't want him stealing you away from me. I know how much you love tradies."
I laughed. Liam had said all the right things in a few moments, and I felt calm again. At least calm enough that I can have a conversation. "Thanks, Liam," I said and kissed his cheek.
We walked for about half an hour. The dogs walked together for a bit. Perrin, being so old, was pretty laid back about the whole thing and Cole, while curious, just seemed happy to be making a new friend.
When we got back to Liam's house, we let them leashes off, and Perrin had a sniff around the yard. Cole either followed behind him or bounced around in front of him as if he were saying, "come look at this place over here."
While Perrin explored, Liam stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes a moment, listening to the sounds of the city.
"You're such a good hugger," I told Liam as I turned around in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his shirt, seeking his warmth and familiar scent.
"A compliment. From you? With no sarcasm?" Liam teased. "It must be my lucky day."
"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, and I lifted my head to meet his. Our kisses were soft at first, but they became more than that very quickly.
Liam pulled away and said, "we aren't alone. Ryan is here." Liam suggested that Ryan stay with the dogs while we were out. He would be back on Sunday and Monday, too, to take Cole for a walk and play.
I sighed. "Riza will be here soon anyway. We better get these guys inside and settled."
We took the dogs inside and got them set up. Then and I met Ryan, who was working in Liam's study. I don't know what I expected from Ryan, but a Scottish Hercules was not it. He was at least as large as Liam, had dark hair and green eyes and although he paled in comparison to Liam, he was handsome and instantly likeable.
We shook hands, and he said, "it's nice to meet you, Lana. I've heard a lot about you, so it's nice to put a face to the name." His accent was noticeable but not thick, and he spoke with a confident calmness that must be essential in his job. He doesn't mention or look at my scarf, which is a relief. I smiled and said, "Same. I keep hearing all these names, so it's nice to meet finally."
Liam gets me to put Ryans number in my phone. He said I should call Ryan if I need to contact him if he's not reachable while filming. I look at Ryan, and he nods as he says, "it's my job."
I do it, but I roll my eyes. He's not my assistant.
We let Ryan get back to work, and we go out to my car to bring my stuff in. By the time I've set up Perrin's things and sorted out my put my bags away, Riza and Jen arrive.
Liam opened the door for them, and Riza stood stunned for a moment. "Damn, you're built like a brick shithouse." Riza was very petite, half a head shorter than me, so you'd think she'd be used to everyone being bigger than her.
Liam, bless his cotton socks, laughed and put his hand out. "You must be Riza."
Riza took his hand, "yeah, mate, how's it going?" Liam stood aside to let her come in. She was hauling a massive makeup case, and Liam offered to take it for her. I thought she would bristle at his offer, but instead, she just gave it to him.
I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, indicating my surprise. She just shrugged and gave me a strange look, and looked straight back at him. Riza is a pocket rocket type and prefers to be seen as one of the boys a lot of times. Andy even invited her to his bucks weekend despite her being my maid of honour, so the whole interaction was unusual.
Jen came in and introduced herself to Liam, and it was a much more civilised exchange than Riza's.
I gave them both hugs and kisses on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, Jen and you too, Riza."
"No worries," Riza said.
Liam offered them both some wine and looked at me to see if I wanted one. I agreed, and we all sat in the lounge room.
Riza grabbed my hand when Liam had his back turned, "Sorry Lans, I think I got star struck. I'm a fucking dickhead."
Jen and I laughed at her, and I said, "serves you right for taking the piss out of me last night."
Liam came back with glasses and a bottle of white wine and poured us all a drink before taking a seat next to me. He sat next to me, resting his arm on the lounge behind me and put his ankle on his knee. His foot bounced, and I looked at him, and it struck me that he was anxious.
I put my hand on his foot to soothe him and turned to Riza and said, "did I tell you that Liam planned a trip to Mt Hotham this winter? I think it was June? Queens Birthday weekend? Before your Mum comes. Anyway, Riza, you spent a few winters there. Got any ideas for some good runs?"
That was it, the two of them talked about skiing, and the tension in the air lifted. I even swapped seats with Riza and sat with Jen for a bit. Once I could tell Liam and Riza were comfortable with each other, I asked Liam where Jen could set up.
Liam said to go to the master on the third, and he went to get up to take us there. I told him Jen, and I could be fine, and he smiled at me and kept talking to Riza. Jen and I smiled at each other and went up to get ready.
Part 19
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Oh Disneyland Paris sounds fun yeah! Were you and your roommate already close then? I went to Walt Disney's world with my aunt and cousin when I was like 11 but it would've been way more fun if I could've taken my best friend with me for sure. Maybe we can go to the one in Paris now that she lives just 3h away from me! Oh I see, sounds like LA was really fun for you yeah! your roommate didn't mind third wheeling tho? Hahaha
Yeah Canada is beautiful but what I liked about it the most was the massive improvement in quality of life I had compared to where I was living before and just being able to be who I am and people accepting me for it. Not being worried about violence 24/7 felt pretty fucking great too. So yeah I highly recommend living there if you ever get a chance. But I am loving Portugal so far, people are a bit more judgemental here tho but I like that it's easier to travel to a lot of countries I've always wanted to go to. Everywhere you go there are pros and cons tho so sorting out priorities is key. But Toronto is my favourite of all the places I've been, before living there for a year I had already been two times!
Jesus 50 states, sometimes I forget how big the US is. And you can totally do it if you plan it out! After watching Bly Manor tho I really want to go to Vermont especially during autumn season looks really pretty! There's this fic I love (only the sun by prestonarchives) where Dani and Jamie go on a road trip from Vermont to Maine and I did their entire journey on Google maps street view bc I was so obsessed with this one chapter fanfic I had to immerse myself entirety in it hahaha. So now I want to go there irl. Here's the link if you haven't read it before!
https://bit.ly/3BLy4WR
Omg I totally remember reading that on CBML and being a bit confused bc I was like why would she think you can't see the moon from the great wall of China HAHAHA but I thought it was really funny and endearing yeah it's even funnier now that I know you said it irl haha.
Oh so ENFP-T means extraverted, intuitive, feeling and prospecting personality with a bit of turbulence. Which just means you're curious, perceptive, enthusiastic, an excellent communicator, festive and good-natured. On the other hand you can be disorganized, unfucosed, a people pleaser, overcommitted, too optimistic and restless.
I wonder what Jamies and Danis mbti are as well as their zodiac signs 🤔 I think Jamie might be an ISTP-A bc she's definitely an introvert, very practical, stubborn, assertive, layed back and energetic at the same time. And Dani is either an ENFP-T like you or an ESFJ-T with the whole selfless thing going on.
AE already made it canon that Jamie's an aries (and it makes sense) but I can't figure Dani out. I've thought about her being a leo ♌ bc she's generous, passionate, warm-harted and dominant in her own way and THE HAIR haha. But she's got some pisces ♓ vibes going on too...idk. aaand I'm back at it again with the astrology signs haha.
To be fair your recent drunken exp it was dark and at least you didn't think the road sign was a bear or something (don't know what kind of wild animals you've got over there) that you wrestled with and ended up in a ditch and your best friend let you believe that happened for 3 years up until recently haha. 😂 but yeah some things happen for a reason, having life threatening health issues doesn't sound great tho, but I guess it's a good thing it stops you from drinking too much and making dumb decisions. And hey maybe I secretly want that to happen again idk maybe moving countries is not exciting enough, I have to go out and make a complete drunken fool out of myself in a completely foreign place hahaha. I guess that did kinda happen last month when my best friend came to visit me from Spain and we got drunk on wine, I got lost on the way back home and it was way past curfew. 🤔 shit I'm 29 will I ever learn...
Episode 9 is 😢😍🥰😰😭🤬☠️ just the worst roller-coaster I didn't even know I was on. Haha I was more pissed off than heartbroken the first time I watched it ngl.
Well then maybe the way you do accents is friendly and funny so people can't really get mad at you haha. Like Dani! Oh so that's called a Geordie accent! I see, it's really really cool. AE said Jamie is from Lancashire but that's a whole county isn't it? Idk if there's a specific accent to this region. Knowing you speak kinda like Jamie is something else tho, I think if anyone who spoke like her ever talked to me irl I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what they were saying 😂 just the accent haha.
Oh so you already have 4k something words for it nice. I'm kinda starting to feel an obsession with this medieval AU growing in me, I made a Pinterest board just for it ngl hahaha but I'm still resisting creating anything for it, I did a face study yesterday for Dani and Jamie to see if I finally pick up the idea and just do it but my brain was still like "I don't want to do this rn" and was just being a little bitch about it so I'll just let it cook for longer see if we can reach an agreement eventually (if ever) haha.
Glad to hear you had a good weekend! Even if it left you feeling exhausted in the end. And yeah it makes sense for you to say you don't have favourites haha! Have a great week Colour, take care! 👋✨
Yeah me and my roommate have been friends since we were like 14 so when we went to Disney Land we asked if we could be roomed together because we've been best friends for that long now... been best friends since school and now we live together. She's seen me at my best, my worst, has seen me in all my stages in life and has been there for a lot of the rough stuff I've been through and I've been there for all the stuff she's been through!! Nah she didn't mind at all we had some moments where me and my ex would just go and be a couple and have dates but my ex didn't want me travelling that far alone so invited my roommate too because she didn't like the thought of me flying 11hours alone or being in airports alone so my roommate came with me and we had a great time Awwh good I'm glad it was such a nice place and that you didn't worry about violence all the time but I'm so sorry you ever had to worry about that anyway that can't be easy. I would honestly love to live in Canada I really hope I get chance one day... I'm glad you're loving Portugal but sorry people are judgemental there but I am glad it's easy for you to travel around to other places... oh yeah every place has it's pros and cons I mean England has some pros but it sure has a lot of cons too so I know all about that Yeah America is SO big but I do want to get around all 50 states at some point and I am stubborn enough and determined enough to make it happen eventually even if I don't get around them all until I'm like 70 I'll make it happen haha!! No I haven't read that fic but it sounds amazing so I'll definitely check it out thank you for sending me the link Yeah... that really happened to me and it was just a dumb moment where I had this momentary lapse of knowledge in my brain and now I look back at that question and I'm just like... "you idiot" and this is why people are shocked when I get questions in quizzes right because I have said some really dumb stuff but I'm glad people found it funny and endearing... and I'm glad it makes it better to know I really said that haha Oooo I didn't know that, I like that and I think it's definitely fitting for me!! I think from what you've said about what ENFP-T means Dani could easily be that too and I don't know anything about the other one but I will take your word for it matching Dani because you know way more about this stuff than I do. I have no idea for Jamie though. And with zodiac signs I love that Amelia looked at Jamie and thought she was an Aries, as for Dani I have NO idea what her zodiac would be... in CBML she's a Leo but in MoU with what I have planned for her birthday she'd be a virgo but I don't know anything about zodiacs... all I know is all the pieces I've ever met have been the opposite of what Dani is so maybe that has something to do with their whole charts but I know a lot of other people always make her a Pieces and I trust what other people say about zodiacs more than what I know about them because I really know NOTHING about them haha Nah I knew it was a road sign because of how heavy and hard it was- nah we have no bears where I live... I don't think we have many dangerous animals where I live... got a couple of badgers that can be pretty aggressive but that's about it we don't have much that is scary here or at least not in the little part of England I live. Having life threatening health issues has been hard and since having my spleen removed in January (that was the surgery I needed to try and fix the issue I had) things are even harder now because I have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life to stop me getting any infections because if I ever get a chest infection now or a really bad cold it can be really dangerous but I take it all in my stride and not drinking is just a way to make sure the antibiotics actually work properly and to make sure nothing happens to me... and like you said, means I don't do anything dumb too... haha drunken stories are the best I have been lost a few times when I've been drunk... and I don't think you do learn, I have siblings that are
like 40 and still do dumb shit... I know at 27 I am still doing dumb shit too I don't think I'll ever learn haha 😂 Its such an emotional roller coaster and honestly I was just devastated the first time I watched it... no TV show or movie has ever made me cry the way Bly Manor did when I first saw it and it still makes me cry now. I can cry just thinking about that last episode. I definitely mean it in a friendly way so I hope it comes across like that. Yeah the accent in Billy Elliot is a Geordie accent and its my favourite accent there are other accents around the north that are called different things. Yeah Lancashire is a county and again in Lancashire there are loads of different accents I can't really pinpoint Jamie's down to a city I just know it's Northern. I'm from Yorkshire but don't have a strong Yorkshire accent I just have a Northern accent, like people never believe I'm from the place I'm from because I don't sound like I am but you can definitely tell I'm northern... honestly there are so many accents in England... you can drive for two hours in any direction in England and the accent will change like two times at least it's insane... see a lot of people say that but I am not a HUGE fan of the northern accent and I think it's because I grew up there. I much prefer Dani's accent to Jamie's but like I said to me, Jamie just talks normal there is no accent really haha Yeah 4k words for it but it's all jumbled up it's not like a chronological story yet it's just all over the place haha but I hope I can get it all structured properly soon!! Awwh good I'm glad you're already interested in this medieval AU!! That makes sense you're resisting creating for it but I think it's so cool you did a face study for Dani and Jamie even if you didn't wanna finish it I think letting things cook for a while is always a good idea if you're not in the right headspace right away I had such a good weekend but I am so tired and today I had a busy day too celebrating my roommate's boyfriend's birthday so I've had so many days that have been so busy and right now I am just really to sleep haha!! Yeah definitely don't have favourites but I have spent more time with one of my nieces than the others simply because I always look after her if her mum and dad are working and I'm not... like until I start this new job I am looking after her for an hour every day after school while she waits for her mum and dad to finish work but I don't have favourites haha!! Thank you so much I hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week too!!
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te amo - reddie one shot
summary: richie and eddie start taking spanish classes together and richie sees this as an opportunity to confess his love to eddie.
word count: 1699 words
an: this is my first ever ship oneshot. but i honestly am proud of this. and also please excuse any mistakes in the spanish part, even though i do take spanish i am not that good to write such a paragraph without translator.
richie and eddie are around finn's and jack's age in this fic ❤
* - translated text at the end of the fic
* gif not mine *
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for years richie had feelings for eddie. the jokes about his mom he always made, they were just defense mechanism. he was scared of his feelings, he was scared of being exposed or being judged by his friends. especially eddie, what if he revealed what he's really feeling and he'd just reject him. this fear was bigger than fear of pennywise himself. he was nothing compared to how frightened richie actually was.
everyday seeing the person he wants to be with the most. whenever eddie smiles richie is melting on the spot, when he's feeling down there's nothing more richie wants to do then hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be okay. sometimes when he sees eddie kissing his mom's cheek he wishes it was his cheek or even better his lips. he felt lonely whenever he was with other losers but when eddie was around it was like he was full again. richie tried to hide his feelings in front of his friends, it'd be weird if they found out the truth.
before the school year ended students had to choose their subjects for next year. and of course boys wanted ti have all classes tomorrow. they choosed them like that. but there was one richie had to beg other guys to take. richie asked them every single day if they'll take spanish with him. the answer was always the same, no. eddie started to feel really bad for richie since he looked like he really wanted to take the class, but not alone. so he decided to take it with him. after all richie needs someone to stop when he's making jokes. after eddie told him he's gonna take the class with him richie thanked him all the way home.
richie actually gained a little confidence after eddie informed him that he's gonna learn spanish with him. maybe he'll be able to tell him about his feelings since they're gonna be a few more hours a week together. maybe he'll finally realize if this is real or not. or maybe he'll swallow his feelings even deeper.
"hey, richie ready to head out?" eddie popped next to richie's locker all excited
"yeah, i'll just grab some things" richie grabbed his books
"so, are you excited?" eddie smiled at him
"little less then before fucking your mom but it's okay i guess" richie shrugged his shoulders
eddie rolled his eyes. he knew this was coming but he didn't expect it to happen before actual class.
"are you gonna do this the whole time? because if yes i'm gonna do anything to get out of that class" eddie explained with his hand near his right ear
"sorry, i just saw the opportunity" richie smirked
"you always see the opportunity, right?"
"you guessed it, señor" richie was pretty proud of his answer
x
first spanish lesson went pretty well. both richie and eddie enjoyed it. of course they had dive into studying right away. they met up at eddie's house after school.
sat down on eddie's bed and tried to learn lines they learned that day
"hola, me llamo richie and i fucked your mom!" richie burst out laughing
"can we at least study without this?"
richie sighed and looked at his textbook. of course he had to make that joke. eddie was so cute while trying pronounce words in spanish. it was so hard for richie to hold back and not kiss him. he was clenching his fist so he wouldn't stroke his cheek. fortunately eddie hadn't noticed anything. he hadn't noticed richie's looks at him, those genuine laughs, all that affection richie had for him. he never noticed and richie was so grateful for it.
there were days he wished eddie would notice. maybe show his love back. maybe kiss richie so richie wouldn't have to. maybe say those words richie was scared to jabber out. i love you, you mean a lot to me, that'd be enough for richie. he'd know that all those feelings he had for all those years weren't one-sided. these were things richie dreamed off when he was laying in his bed at night, trying to fall asleep without eddie on his mind.
x
months were passing and boys were picking up more and more new knowledge from spanish. basic lines and phrases weren't enough for them. they'd go to library in the afternoons and dig some new interesting words.
during these "diging" sessions richie got an idea. there's no way in hell eddie learned how to confess anything to someone in spanish. richie was so sure that this is the only way he can tell him how he really feels. and when eddie will realize what richie told him, he'd be far away from american borders.
richie spent even more time in library, borrowed some books home and started writing down his confession. it was easiest-hardest thing he ever done. putting those words on paper went so fast. he was so certain what he wants to tell him. but when it came to part he had to tell him, face to face his gut thightened and he felt like crying. his hands were sweating and shaking.
richie had the list in his backpack, carrying him everywhere he went. he was scared someone would find it and figure it out. this gave him more anxiety then eddie telling him no or making fun of him.
x
after two weeks of carrying the confession in his backpack, richie was ready to say it to eddie. he made sure they were alone in his house. he sat him down in his living room and sat opposite him. he never sweat this much. his whole body was shivering, covered in goosebumps. he was repeating to himself that this is the best time and there won't be any better time.
"is everything alright rich?" eddie, concerned, look richie straight into eyes
richie took a deep breath and started:
"eds, there's this thing, i've been meaning to tell you for such a long time. so here it is" he put his glasses back up on his nose, took another deep breath and began talking
*"eddie, te amo. He estado enamorado de ti desde que tengo memoria. y es dificil para mi Te veo todos los días, te escucho reír y me enamoro aún más de ti. cada vez que sonríes o te quejas de que algo es insalubre, trato de contenerme porque solo quiero besarte. cada vez que te sientas mal o enfermo solo quiero abrazarte y decirte que todo estará bien. Esto es lo más difícil que he hecho, pero es más fácil ya que te estoy diciendo esto en español y no tienes idea de lo que estoy diciendo. eds, eres mi amor y haría cualquier cosa por estar contigo" richie could feel tears in his eyes so he immidiately stood up and ran to bathroom
richie leaned against the sink and let the tears stream down his face. he knew eddie was sitting there all confused because has no idea what he just said and why he ran away. richie got it off his chest. he told eddie how he feels, how much he loves him. his list wasn't long but it sure was full of emotions and everything richie feeled.
"hey richie, are you okay?" eddie knocked on the door
"yeah, i just had to make sure my wang is longer than yours before we start messuring them" richie tried to hide his sobby voice
damn it richie, you don't have to hide behind your jokes anymore, you exposed yourself to him.
when richie stepped out of the bathroom he saw that eddie was searching his fanny pack in the hallway
"what you looking for there? your birth control pills?" richie chuckled
"no, but if you're sick or something and you went in there to shit or for god's sake even throw up i have to take my pills so i won't catch anything" richie sometimes wondered how is it possible for eddie to speak this fast
x
days passed since richie told eddie about his feelings. he felt releaved but also really anxious. eddie was totally looking for some words richie had told him. what if he was searching for words like te amo. what if he already cracked them and he's not gonna tell richie so he won't break his heart. richie was overthinking as always.
that day, eddie and richie went to study to eddie's house. they were sitting quietly on eddie's bed both of them reading text they had to read.
"richie?"
"hmm?"
"there's something i want to tell you" richie could feel how his heart skipped a beat
"go on, eds"
"umm, wait" eddie took out a small piece of paper from back of his textbook.
"okay so, yo también te quiero" eddie said with certain confidence
"what?"
"it means i love you too, amor" eddie blinked at richie
"you're fucking with me!" richie yelled out
"i wish i was" eddie chuckled
"wait, are you like serious serious, or did you tell other guys about what i said and they made you say this?"
"i haven't told anyone. richie, this comes from my heart. i really love you! when you said what you said i felt so releaved because i was happy to hear that i wasn't the only one feeling this way. richie i cracked your "i fucked your mom" a long time ago"
"you little fucker" richie smiled
* eddie, i love you. i've been in love with you ever since i can remember. and it's hard for me. i see you everyday, i hear you laugh and i fall in love with you even more. whenever you smile or complain about something being unsanitery i try to hold myself back because i just wanna kiss you. whenever you feel bad or sick i just wanna hold you and tell you it's gonna be okay. this is the hardest thing i ever done but it's easier since i'm telling you this in spanish and you have no idea what i'm saying. so eds, you're my love and i'd do anything to be with you
tagged
@royalydamned @diablvna @queen-irl-af
if you wanna be included please let me know ❤
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kyurilin · 4 years
Text
2010-2019 Or The Overly Non Dramatic Story of How Kyuri's Decade Went
Technically this isn't a part of this decade review but I'm posting this on December 24th specifically because 10 years ago today I spoke to @mist-over-water on the phone for the first time after having known her for three years and I'm pretty sure we both cried
2010
met @mist-over-water for the first time in person. Took her to the beach where she promptly got roasted by the sun. Took her to the mountains. Took her out to practice driving in a local high school parking lot because why not. I cried so hard when she had to go home and God help me I'd only known her four years at that point.
Flunked a math class for the first time. Funny enough, it was because I'd been put in the advanced math courses for years and that was the year I both had a teacher I hated and could no longer reasonably fake my way through understanding math. Don't put your kids in advanced courses unless you're certain they can keep up with it people I only really was an advanced reader.
My dog Scruffy passed away :(
Started my senior year of high school
2011
Managed to graduate high school on time despite having to take 2 whole math courses during senior year (and with @mist-over-water 's who will now be referred to as Gabby because simplicity buddies sending me 'GRADUATE' messages so I'd have the motivation to go see her in person)
Got to go to England to see Gabby which, dream come true. Had a blast. Met the two precious nieces she had, her brother who's accent I couldn't understand, her mom who is one of the sweetest people, and her grandparents who I got to watch a lot of old British gameshows with.
Saw Wicked from second row seats in London.
Saw Cars 2 three times with Gabby which is why I'm still emotionally invested in Cars 2 because boy getting to see the sequel movie to the movie that ended up allowing you to cross paths with someone you really clicked with is AN. EXPERIENCE.
Cried when I finally had to leave because I was 18 and terrified of the future and didn't know when or if I'd ever see my friend in person again.
Started at community college in the film and video program
2012
Finished my first year of community college
Wrote my first original novel that will honestly never see the light of day. It's terrible ya'll
Through circumstances I still regret started losing my friendship with Gabby and boy do I hate who I was a person during that time
Started my second year of community college
2013
Worked on the X Factor as a production assistant.
Probably around this time that Gabby and I stopped talking which was better for us at that point. Still took an emotional toll to lose a friend that I'd known for 7 years at that point but in the long run we did need the distance (and I'm sorry to throw it all out here like this Gabby if you want it edited tell me I'm just putting it all out lmao)
Through a cosmic aligning of the universe by which I mean a special interest in both Minecraft and Achievement Hunter at the same time, I found a small Minecraft server that I could play on and met some really great people
Started my third year of community college
Oh yeah met @inspector-starfish from the Minecraft server for the first time in person, me and my brother stole her from her college and took her to the state fair with us.
2014
Started easing into talking to Gabby again (I remember the message with new baby Imogen!!!) Which was a blessing
I can't remember if it was 2014 or 2015 but at some point Gabby also hung out with me on the Minecraft server with my other buddies
Worked on Catfish as a Production Assistant for like 2 days and I still think I was fired lmao
My dad was arrested. Which is... The hardest thing to type out. Because everything before 2014 feels so distant because of the events.
He got put in jail and we bailed him out, but a month later he got arrested again and we couldn't bail him out this time.
God help me I'm so glad I had gotten back to talking to Gabby at this point I vaguely remember a sobbing Skype call between us.
I don't even remember what classes I was in at community college anymore that's how bad it is.
I basically dropped out though.
I stopped writing, I stopped drawing, I stopped... Being. That's really what it narrows down to. Only one of my real life friends knew what happened and I broke down everytime I thought about it so i'm pretty sure at one point I had a panic attack on my way to hang out with Friend A, who knew, and Friend B, who didn't.
I did start talking to @rhysispiecess that year. Through a post on here actually (we were also on the same Minecraft server but because I didn't really play that much that I remember after this whole thing I kinda forgot who he was).
I think (maybe???) I also met @belle-sourires and @youllthinkofsomething that year.
We moved from the house we'd lived in 13 years to a little rental house where we had the sweetest neighbors
2015
I spent a lot of time reading and crying in 2015 lmao
Also spent a lot of time talking to @rhysispiecess (the FNAF AU years God bless them for being a much needed distraction from real life)
Dad went to actual prison and boy that's an experience having to visit him there every week
We moved again this time to a small apartment
Got my first real job that wasn't being a production assistant (the same job I still have!)
Started to make actual attempts at writing again but struggled with it a lot
2016
For the first time since 2014 I actually wrote more than a simple one off story of the course of a month
Saved up my money and went to California to meet @rhysispiecess and @27thousandlizards.
Confused the shit out of Luke's (@27thousandlizards ) grandma
Was so tired I cried when I saw how little Corgi puppies are
Got to see @inspector-starfish and @youllthinkofsomething in San Diego where they were doing a robot thing as usual
Got to see the end bit of Route 66 cause wouldn't you know Rhys lives right near it (and as a huge Cars fan oh my God FATE)
Had an absolute blast with both Rhys and Luke and cried when I had to leave them because boy do I love friends
2017
Cars 3 came out and I transcended to a higher plane of being
Okay not really but I'm sure ya'll remember the days where I was mostly a Cars blog
100% I know I've said this before but all of the Cars movies have hit with specific messages at exactly the point in my life I needed to hear those messages so like. Poetic cinema.
Made some fantastic friends from those days
After 11 years of attempts at writing a redemption arc for a certain Cars character I finally wrote one and IT WAS GREAT
Cars 3 also managed to make me write again which has continued to be a struggle since 2014
Oh yeah became single again I was in a relationship but that ended TIME FOR ALONE (learned I'm still a terrible person who doesn't handle relationships well so hey not bad I'll leave people out of my overly anxious 'they must hate me' mentality)
2018
Fell out of writing again after the Cars 3 hype died down enough lmao
Got to meet @whipplefilter and @the-kings-tail-fin for a road trip around NC which was fantastic
Played way too much Nintendo Switch
Gabby got engaged and I absolutely cried for like an hour because how the fuck do you not cry when someone you've known for so long gets engaged (I'm still so happy for her @onetruejonsey seems like a really wonderful guy)
Oh yeah we moved again we have a real house now but the neighbors are redneck assholes
2019
Thanks to FNAF Help Wanted, I got whiplashed back into that fandom BUT I did start writing pretty regularly again. In fact I've written more this year than all the years since I stopped COMBINED. Which means I was both in the right headspace to actually want to write again as well as being able to keep myself focused on it.
Met Jodie Benson (ARIEL!!!!!!), Daniel Logan (KID BOBA FETT) and Christopher Sabat at GalaxyCon. Right. I went to my first convention despite being terrified of it
I cried like a bitch meeting Jodie Benson and she hugged me. I told Daniel Logan I'd had a crush on him as a kid and that Attack of the Clones was still my favorite Star Wars (which it is I wasn't lying) and he hugged me. Got to hear Sean Schemmel call Christopher Sabat out for being so friendly that his line was ridiculous which was great because boy did I not have enough money to meet more than three people. Christopher Sabat was fantastic too.
Went to DC with my 3 closest IRL buddies I've known since like 2008 and despite some arguments none of us killed each other. Nearly destroyed my feet from all the walking though. Don't know how we'd survive a trip to Japan which they all want to do.
Started formulating my next novel idea
It's been a long decade. Really the first half feels like it happened to another person.
I want to say, more than anything, if it weren't for Gabby I never would have had the courage to meet so many of my other online friends. She flew over here to meet me when I was 17 and she was 15 going on 16. We were so young and my dad and her mom worked so hard to make sure that we could actually meet each other and I'm forever thankful for that. I went across the ocean by myself at 18, an autistic disaster of a human, and somehow I didn't panic or get lost or anything. Without those experiences I never would have had the courage to do a lot of the things I've done since.
I'm still terrified of the future though. I have no idea if I'll even save enough money to go to England to see Gabby again (and God we actually need to talk more because I feel like a terrible friend ALL I DO IS SEND GIRAFFE PHOTOS). I don't even know what I want out of life.
Here's hoping though that I can continue to have some adventures and meet more of my online buddies in the next decade!
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jcmorrigan · 4 years
Text
Even Badasses Cry
The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) I’m now caught up through E6, and this was...blatantly inspired by E5. I mean, having written him comforting me during a breakdown, I wanted an excuse to flip it, but thanks to E5 breaking my heart, I had the perfect launching point. Also, timeline at this point is “You decide.” This doesn’t work with canon or postcanon so just...use your imagination for whatever.
***
           It was nice, that we had managed our own apartment. Sure, it was the bottom of the barrel as far as apartments went, but I was dying to prove my independence, and no disrespect to Mrs. P., but I felt Giovanni was a bit better off not having to yell back and forth with her five times a day.
           Also, I knew if I got in another shouting match with her, I wasn’t getting out of it with both Giovanni’s and my self-respect intact. Believe me, I know that your partner not getting along with your mom is The Worst, and that woman does not back down.
           Could I have done without the multiple flights of stairs and no elevator I had to hike every day? Sure, but I’d done a higher trek on my study-abroad in London. So long as I had the motor function of both legs, I’d be fine. Now, if I ever lost motor function of one or both legs, then we’d have to figure out a new plan.
           The stairs also gave a person ample time to sing whatever song was stuck in their head as they ascended, so by the time you got to the apartment itself, you’d have it out of your system and you wouldn’t look like a dork in front of your partner. However, being that my dorkness was already a known fact, I unlocked the door and swung it open while actually increasing my volume; “The paaaa-pers say! Johnny, won’t you come back home! But everybody knows you don’t! Wanna give yourself up; tell the truth and – “
           The apartment was dark, so of course, I had thought at first I’d beaten Giovanni home. When he stirred from the kitchen table, however, I was startled into halting the song, nearly dropping the grocery bag I held – my protective instincts regarding the carton of eggs taking over and forcing my grip to tighten.
           “Oh, COMPOSER!” He had been inexplicably sitting at the table in the dark, arms crossed on the tabletop and head down on them, until he became aware of my presence. Now, still in the dark, he scrambled up to his feet, leaning casually against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other. “Didn’t hear you coming up! Nice voice, by the way! Anybody ever tell you that?”
           “Is…there a reason you were sitting at the kitchen table alone in the dark?” I asked with trepidation, walking toward said table to deposit the eggs somewhere safe. I kicked the door shut behind me, which I failed to account for lowering the visibility in the room even further. “Hey, can you hit the lights?”
           “I dunno, I think this feels more atmospheric. Can’t you just feel the villain aesthetic brimming in this room of abysmal void?”
           “What I feel is the sense that I’m about to run into the fridge.”
           Which I proceeded to immediately do. That was, however, fortuitous, as I needed someplace to deposit the eggs and the produce I’d scored. I pried the door wide, beginning to unload the bag into organized compartments –
           And as the meager light poured into the apartment, Giovanni retreated from it, scurrying along the wall like a cockroach.
           Well.
           I stuffed the bag in the fridge and shut it; it could get sorted later. “Is something wrong?” I asked as I turned to make out his thin silhouette, padded with that fluffy sweater he so loved, in the dark.
           “Wrong?” He laughed nervously. “Why would anything be wro-ho-hong? No, noooooo, I’m just in a DARK and EDGY mood because I’m a VILLAIN. Every villain has to go through their serious phase!”
           “Okay,” I said with a shrug. I turned back to the fridge.
           Which was a feint. Before Giovanni could catch me, I had whipped around and smashed that light switch, illuminating the room.
           When I looked him in the eye, I could see exactly why he’d wanted those lights down. The skin around his eyes was pinkish-red, somewhat swollen. Either he’d had a very localized allergic reaction to something he had yet to identify, or…
           “Were you crying?”
           “NO!” He folded his arms and turned his face away from me. “I was definitely NOT CRYING! It just looks like I was…because…I got punched in the face!”
           “Gio, if something’s wrong, you can tell me. I’ll listen. That’s what I’m here for, you know.”
           I saw his lip quiver. Then his voice cracked; “They really did punch me in the face. They beat me up, all of them. About twenty of them.”
           I could practically feel my own heart hurting. “Rivals?”
           “No. Other Blasters.” He sniffled. “They all think I’m some kind of loser freak or something. They just don’t get it! Or…or maybe it’s because…” His chest began to shake. “B-because I am one – “
           I didn’t need to hear more. I rushed to close the distance between us, wrapping my arms suddenly and tightly around him, one on the waist, one on the upper back. He clung to me in return, no longer holding back, heaving sobs.
           “Oh, God, sweetie…” I said softly. “You’re not a freak or a loser.”
           “But even YOU say you love how much of a loser I am, and I know you mean it as a compliment, but – “
           “I’m sorry. There’s a big difference between being a garbage fuckup and not taking life too seriously, or being a little spacey. Trust me. I’m the garbage fuckup here. Not that I want pity. Shit. Don’t make this about me now. DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT ME NOW.”
           “I’m trying, Rachel…I’m really trying, and nothing fucking works out for me…”
           I froze. He was using my actual name. Which meant things were worse than I thought.
           I wriggled out of the embrace, taking his hand. “Come with me.”
           He followed obediently, as though lost in the wilderness and trusting the guidance of a will-o’-the-wisp, until I brought him to the couch and sat down on it. For this, I would need him to have less of a height advantage on me, so I patted the cushion beside me, encouraging him to sit down. He did, still gasping as teardrops trickled down his cheeks.
           “Look at me,” I told him, softly yet firmly.
           “I don’t wanna,” he protested. “It’s bad enough already. Now you’re seeing me having a breakdown – “
           “Everyone has breakdowns, Gio. This is okay. You’re still an awesome badass. But I need you to look at me.”
           He pivoted to face me, slowly, gingerly, trying to stop crying cold-turkey to put on a show for me.
           I reached out, taking his face into my hands. “I love you so much,” I told him, then began the treatment process.
           First, tugging his head downward so I could kiss his forehead, right between the brows. Then delivering a line of kisses down each cheek in turn. A few along either side of his jawline. Then, finally, on the lips – he was far more passive than usual; I couldn’t feel the light prick of his fangs on my lower lip.
           As I backed off from his face, I put a hand up, palm out, to his chest. “Can I?”
           “Y…yeah…”
           I lay it right over his heart. It was something of a shared secret between us – a spot on his body he worried about, sometimes, because it still protruded slightly, giving away that it used to look much larger and softer and not at all like how he wanted his body to be. This was our arrangement, my reassurance that it wasn’t a flaw on him.
           “Does it still hurt?” I asked.
           “Yes,” he choked. “Emotionally AND physically. This is helping, though.”
           “Okay.” I was getting another idea. “Then follow me.”
           I lay back, stretching across the couch, and I tugged his forearm to bring him down with me. He obeyed, lying somewhere on the overlap between beside-me and atop-me, his head nestling into the hollow of my neck on my right shoulder. I was still shorter than him, so I supposed this would look comical to an outsider, me trying to play a horizontal sort of big-spoon with his legs dangling far past where my own ended. Here, I just let him be, not asking anything of him, just stroking a hand over his hair, down onto his back, over and over again.
           “They’re all pieces of shit,” I assured him. “Give me a list of names and I’ll annihilate them.”
           We knew it was an empty threat. I still didn’t have blood on my hands. I wasn’t sure if I ever would – but more frighteningly, I had the suspicion that the capacity was inside me, and I wasn’t sure how he would feel if it ever came out. But that wasn’t today’s topic.
           He didn’t say anything, just giving another choking sniffle. “It’s okay,” I told him. “Just get it out. It’ll get better. I promise.”
           “I w-wasn’t supposed to break down like this.”
           “It’s seriously okay. It’s just you and me. You’ll be able to come at them again swinging in a few hours.” I sighed. “I hate them. So goddamn much. Thinking about you getting pummeled makes me so goddamn mad – “
           I realized I had knotted my fingers into his hair and was pulling the locks rather hard out of frustration. Immediately, I let go. Well, that was a rather frightening thing I hoped wouldn’t happen again. I was angry because he’d been hurt; I certainly didn’t want to end up hurting him worse.
           “I have to stop talking about it,” I admitted, planting that hand firmly on his back, drawing circles with my palm. “Or else I’m gonna punt a chair into orbit.”
           “I just felt so…so fucking helpless…”
           “God, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry – “
           My free arm came up to wrap over him, keeping him tight against me. Protectively.
           “You’re amazing,” I whispered. “You’re beautiful. And you’re not a garbage fire. Don’t even think about it. Please. Just…let this be it. You and me. You’re safe here.”
           It was barely audible: “Thank…you…”
           “No. Thank you.”
           I placed another kiss on his forehead.
           Words were spent. We stayed like that for half an hour, lying adjacent, sharing the burden.
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millicent231-watt · 5 years
Text
Uncharted - Sam X Reader
Songs: None
Request: @missdictatorme
Modern AU or just AU: AU
NSFW/R-18: No
Reader Insert: Yes
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Any lost cities or myths are based on real myths and lost cities. Obviously the lost city mentioned is before it's been found IRL if it has.
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I yawn and stretch my back, hearing the satisfying crack on the bones and joints. "Y/N, what did I say about doing that?" I hear Sam groan in annoyance, making me chuckle. "Sorry, Sammy. I forgot that it bothered you." I say and he rolls his eyes, leaning his head against the plane seat. "Don't call me that..." He says, taking his glasses off and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Aw, come on, Sam. Give her a break. It's no more embarrassing than the names you gave me when we were kids." Nate says, turning in his chair and making Sully laugh. "Where are we going again, darlin'?" Sully asks and I walk over to the pilot's chair, sitting in the passenger seat once Nate moved into the back with Sam. I pull out the map and point to Guatemala. "Here. Every bit of evidence Sam and I got points to the lost city of Tikal being somewhere in Guatemala. All we have to do is look for clues while we're there." I explain, pulling my notebook out of my bag. "Sully, if we find this place...it could lead us to the answer of why and how the Mayans disappeared." I say excitedly. "And anyone wanting that kind of information would pay quite the amount of money, wouldn't they?" he says and I throw my book into my bag. "Yes, but that's not why I'm doing this, Sully." I say before I hear Nate chuckle. I turn my head around and see him teasing his brother about something since Sam's face was bright red.
"Feeling alright, Sam?" I ask, hoping the not so smooth flying didn't make him sick. "Huh? Uh...y...yeah." He says and I shrug my shoulders before picking my things up and walking back towards the brothers. "You sure? If Sully's flying is making you sick, I could always kick him out." I tease Sully, making Sam laugh. He sounded beautiful when he laughed, but it was never often enough. "I'm fine Y/N. I promise. Just the nerves of finding this place. I mean if we do..." He trails off and I smile, grabbing my laptop from my bag. "We'll go down in history. You and me, Sam." I say and Nate throws a travel pillow at me. "Hey! What about Sully and I?" He jokes and I laugh. "You two can get some credit I guess. But a lot of this project was just Sam and I, you have to admit that." I say and he sighs before nodding. "Yeah, I guess it was just you two for the start of this, wasn't it?" I turn my laptop on. "I hope you don't mind, but I need to do this work. So talk amongst yourselves. This is your chance to talk shit about me." I say, plugging my headphones in and starting up Spotify.
Sam's POV
I watch Y/N in awe as she plotted away at her work on her laptop. I could never hope to be as adventurous and death-defying as her, but I love the academic side of this work. The research, the hacking and things like that. Not only because it was interesting to me, but I also go to spend my days with Y/N. She was stunningly beautiful and not to mention insanely talented. She wasn't only on par with my brother, but better than him (much to his dismay). It was an understatement to say that I was in love with her, but there was no way she felt the same for me. I was a weirdo and a nerd, while she was gorgeous, talented, smart, strong and way out of my league. "Sam, you're staring again." I hear Nate say as he nudged my shoulder playfully. "Why don't you just tell her?" He asks, knowing that she couldn't hear us since she was a fan of loud music and blasting her eardrums out. "Because she's my best friend Nate. I don't wanna ruin that with a stupid hope of being more." I say and he shakes his head. "You gotta tell her. You know that in her line of work, anything could happen. If she gets injured, or worse-" "She won't!" I cut him off and he sighs before patting my back. "Alright, I hope you know what you're doing then." He says as I try to bury my thoughts of her with reviewing out research.
After some time, I heard snoring next to me and turned my head. Nate was asleep. "Finally, some quiet." I hear Sully say, making me chuckle and look to Y/N. She was still going on with her work. *How is it that the longer she sits here in this cramped plane, the more breath-taking she becomes.* I see he bite her bottom lip in concentration and cross reference some information from her phone and notebook. *God...those lips...those plump lips...if only I could feel them against mine. If only I could taste them, even if only once.* I feel my face heat up and I avert my eyes. "Sam, do you mind telling Y/N that we're almost there? I'd ask Nate but..." Sully asks me and I stand up. I walk over to Y/N and tap her shoulder, my heart going crazy just at that little bit of contact. She looks up at me innocently before taking her headphones off. "We're almost here. You might wanna talk with Sully." I say and she nods with a smile. "Thanks, Sam, you're the best." She says before packing up her things and walking over the passenger seat, taking a seat. My face flushes as I see her hips sway, my eyes lingering longer than they should have. *You don't mean that Y/N...I'm nothing special...* I think before sitting back down and waking up Nate. "We're almost there Nate." I say and he wakes with a startled snort. "Oh...thanks, Sam.”
Time Skip
"We're here!" Y/N yells excitedly, like a kid on Christmas. She runs off the plane, eager to get outside, and leaves us to unpack everything we needed. "Isn't it beautiful Sam?" She asks, looking at the scenery in awe, while I looked at her in awe. "It sure is." I say, talking about her more than the scenery. "I think we should set up the main camp by the plane. I mean, it's so pretty here, plus it'll be easier to pack up." She says, turning to me with a smile. "Oh! Sorry, I'll help you guys with the bags." She says, but I wave my free had. "No, it's fine. Just go practice your combat fighting." I say, knowing that she loved to practice in new areas. Sort of like christening the location for us. A good luck charm some would say. "Ok! Have fun guys!" She says, grabbing her workout gear and running off. "You give her too much slack. She could've helped us out." Nate complains. "Oh, come on. It's just a few bags. We can manage setting up camp while she has fun." I say, getting started with Sully. "He's got a point, Nate. Let the lady have fun. God knows that peace and fun might not last the week with us three around." Sully says. We both hear Nate chuckling before he says: "I'm sure Sam and Y/N can have some fun together."
Time Skip (Your POV)
I hiss in pain as I cradled my hand, walking back to the boys. I don't know how I always managed to hurt myself in harmless situations, but when it came to getting shot at, blown up, poisoned, drugged and everything in between, I was invincible. I hear the boys laughing before I pushed through the leaves. "Sam?" I call out before they all turn to me. "Y/N? What the hell did you do? How did you get hurt?" He asks, running over to me and hesitating to touch my arm, worried about my injured hand. "I...don't know. It always happens at the stupidest times. Anyway, could...you...patch me up?" I ask shyly. I was hoping that, even if it wasn't the most romantic situation, we could have some time alone. "Sure, come over here. Sit." He says, gesturing me to sit by him. "Hey Sully, help me out with this...thing over here." Nate says, giggling like a schoolgirl once he saw Sam grab my hand gently.
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"Why do you always work yourself to this point?" He asks with a low voice, breaking the prolonged silence and shocking me slightly. "I don't mean to-" "Bullshit!" He cuts me off before sighing angrily. "There's no way that you would practice to the point of bleeding this badly, and not realise and stop. Why do you do this?" He demands and I avert my eyes. "I...There's a lot of feelings I'm holding in, Sam. Do you know how much it hurts to with hold so many feelings for so long?" I ask before looking at him. "I do actually...Maybe it's best to get these feelings off your chest." He says, bandaging my knuckles. "I...don't kno-" "I can tell you mine first if it'll help." He offers and I nod. "If that's alright. I think it might help." I say before he sits next to me. "Sam?" I ask as he grabs my hands and squeezes them softly. "I love you Y/N." He says, looking me dead in the eyes. I feel my cheeks flush red and my eyes open up wide. "Sam...I feel the same..." I mumble in disbelief. I couldn't believe he liked me back. "You do?" He asks, but instead of answering with words I place my hands on his cheeks. I pull him in for a soft kiss. I pull away and chuckle as I see his stunned expression. "Does that answer your question?" I ask and he nods. "I'm so happy that you feel the same. Just try not to be so reckless and get hurt anymore. It really worries me." He says and I smile. "I promise, I'll try and be more careful.”  
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aharris00britney · 6 years
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ASKS 09
random stuff, some facts about me, some sims questions, video requests, hair sneak peaks, umm and other stuff too…. also I am 10 candies from being able to evolve that dumb fish so wig
Anonymous said: Do you have a car?
Nope!
Anonymous said: Hi wcif the shirts in your coming soon in June update ps I love your cc x
hey! for any WCIFs for that stuff, I am probably going to wait until the posts for the hairs are up because I know that people won’t check when the hairs are posted for my old wcifs.
@angelamariacalle​ said: you could make a WIP the eyes that you use in your post with ice cream?     
i have no idea what you were trying to say ;-; the eyes I used are my default ones which you can download here
@ayoshi-sims​ said: Once you get this SHARE 6 facts about yourself and send it to your 10 favorite blogs ✨
I still play pokemon go (fight me)
I think that pop music was the best in 2007-2011 (One of the Boys, The Fame/The Fame Monster, Circus/Blackout, Animal/Cannibal, The best damn thing)
I am a super middle child! (two older siblings, and two younger ones as well)
I keep all my kpop albums on my dresser, with my Red Velvet one hanging in a red/white flower crown I own :)
My favorite food to snack on is either a tuna kit, or pickles
I am a bottom XD
Anonymous said: When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity!
aaaaah okay um
my kpop girlies i stan
my angel rocky (my old af pug)
my friends (irl and online <3)
the concept of love is always something that makes me happy omg i know that is cheesy but like… imagine finding someone that is perfect for you will always be there when you need and like just GOD I NEED A MAN NOW
charli xcx music umm yeah it’s 5 in the morning
Anonymous said: Hello, I was wondering if you have your sims on the gallery? Thanks for your time. :)       
Yeah! I have a few sims for download on my origin which is SPOTHARRIS I also have them for download on this page
Anonymous said: Hello!! Just wondering wicf the freckles from the discontinued model in your older posts (e.g. momo buns) thank you!!! BTW I love your stuff soo much! :)
Hey! I no longer have that file or even know where I got them from :( Here is an OLD af wcif I answered of them though
Anonymous said: Where are you from?
I am from Virginia, which is on the east coast of the United States :)
Anonymous said: Hi!! I feel like this is such a silly question but oh well I’m a noob. If I use your Quartz eyes V2 will they be inherited in the next generation if my sims have kids? Same with your hair colors as well?
I honestly have no idea how any of that stuff works :( I’m sorry! I assume it should but also maybe not? ;-; again, sorry!
Anonymous said: omg the hair with the flowers in it! *-* i love!! will you also make a version without the flowers? I also wanted to say I’m really happy your life is going well and congrats on the 30k followers
thank you so much!! and I the hair will obvi have no flowers :P the flowers should be accessories if everything works out. There are some clipping issues rn but I think it is fixable :) here is a pic without the flowers. If you guys have any recommendations about then pls send them my way
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Anonymous said: Would you ever consider doing really long curly hair like the singer Sza’s?
I personally don’t like super long hair in TS4, it just doesn’t look well with most clothes and has clipping/weight issues :( I’m sorry!!
Anonymous said: Do you know what happened to SimpleSimmer?
I don’t, no. But I am sure she is fine :) sometimes people just take breaks
Anonymous said: Hi! So, i really love your sim with the dark brown hair (for your hair cc) and i was wondering if you could ever share that sim! Because she has a beautiful face. Also i am wondering which skin overlay (etc) you are using! You can find me in the gallery under the name: xThisGirl (if that is an easier way for you to respond :)
Hey! You can find her download here, along with all my other sims :) I am glad you like her <3
Anonymous said: Hey! I know you probably won’t read this as fast but I wanted to ask, how do you shift the hairline to the side or any of that? Like your daisy hair, briana hair, and that one wip you had in a tutorial video of yours! I really want to do that but I just don’t know how :(
I will maybe record something for this! No promises bc I have to get someone to edit the videos for me and I don’t wanna bug him but I will see if he can edit it for me if I film it :) It is pretty simple to do once you get the hang of it
@sims4storiesandstuff​ said: I just wanted to say, your hairs are the shit! Absolutely stunning. I rarely use the EA hairs anymore! I think you deserve every follower you have.            
Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate stuff like this <3 I don’t play the game myself much so it makes me happy knowing that my hairs make other peoples games so much more enjoyable uwu
Anonymous said: hello can you make please a video when you make a hair and upload it?
I would like to! I just do so many random things while doing a hair like showing pictures to friends and getting their advice. So I will have to see, would you guys mind if the video had conversation stuff in it? As I said earlier, someone edits the videos for me so I don’t wanna get him to do more work for it by editing them out :( I will look into it for sure though!
Anonymous said: That hair wip in your lil video tutorial is absolutely beautiful!! Can’t wait until it’s released !! 🧡🧡
thank you so much!! Here are some more pics of it:
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Anonymous said: are you korean? If not, how can you like kpop if you dont understand it?
I am not korean haha, but music is about more than understanding. It is about the feelings it vibes you get from it and the moods it puts you in. People love screamo music even though it is hard to understand, and music like instrumentals and dubstep heavy are just… what the music makes you feel. I listen to ‘normal’ pop, kpop, instrumentals, artists like grimes that mumble their songs a lot with production heavy stuff. I think that as long as the music is something you enjoy, you shouldn’t be judged for liking it. I know you aren’t trying to be rude with this ask so don’t think I am attacking you please! I am just trying to give you some insight into why different music interests people :)
Anonymous said: I’m so happy to see that you’ve made a patreon account! you really make amazing CC and that’s such a gift to the community, I’m happy that now I get to feel like I can give something to you haha :) have a great day/evening!
thank you so much! and thank you for supporting <3
@lesyatim​ said: Hello,  it’s not ask. I only want to say that you make very beautiful hair and  THANK YOU! I Love You💕💕💕💕💕 P.S. I’m from Russia and I don’t now English very well♡)
thank you so much!! Спасибо большое (that is suppose to say thank you in german lmao)
Anonymous said: When did u make a skin?
it is a hidden gem :P It is mainly to fix the collarbones bc I use multiple skin overlays so I that is why is was never posted :)
Anonymous said: Congratulations i hope you have a happy family 😄
ummm?? I GOT IT I GOT I GOT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT
@dangerouskindofmind said: I actually don’t have a question! I just wanna say you are one of my favorite sims 4 creators out here. Your hairs; snatched. Your clothes; beautiful. Your sims; amazing. And your personality looks just as good lol. I’ve probably downloaded like 99.9% of your content and I just wanna say thank you for all you do to make my sims 4 experience loads better. I also hope you’re having a great day
thank you so much!!!! I appreciate it a ton, I love that my content makes people love this game more <3
Anonymous said: Just wanted to say that literally all of your CC is beautiful and from what I’ve seen, I absolutely adore your personality. Keep it up my dear, you’ve got crazy talent. Much love <3
thank you, thank you!!! My personality irl is kind of shitty lmao I am really shy and like reserved ;-; and it is just memorizing how to do some editing to hair meshes, not much talent involved <3 thank you so so much again though!! I love getting these kind of messages
Anonymous said: Are you gonna make an outerwear cc pack when the seasons expansion pack releases?
I don’t make much clothing CC so I highly doubt it. I am working on a swimsuit that I might post later this month though! We will see what happens though :D
Anonymous said: thank you very much for a playlist that you shared with One Shot,Two Shot,I’m totally in love ur the best
yesss BoA is such a queen, listen to the full mini album if you can! It is one of her best releases in my opinion.
Anonymous said: aharris00britney awnsered me,cuz I remember my question and it’s on the asks recent post AND i’ll shake this print in all my enemies face thx,I asked about the patreon and I’m doing it right now bby <3            
hehe thank you!! <3 you show them enemies
– just so the eating ass juicy booty ask so yep that is all I have gotten in the past month that I can answer :P
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a-thehandcrusher · 6 years
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{ HEY, @whataherodoes​ ! ! ! }
Congratulations on getting through all of your homework, here’s a treat for your efforts. Presumably you’re still asleep or just waking up, so I hope this is a pleasant surprise for you. I know the past few months have been especially rough for you, so I pulled some friends together and we put this together for you. You’ll either hate me for it or love me for it, but god damn it regardless of the outcome I’m gonna do it anyway! It took a little bit longer than I intended (so some of these messages might be a little confusing -- it’s definitely my fault), but either way, the idea was for you to know just how important you are to people, and how much we love and adore you so without further ado, here’s a flood of messages for you.
(Thank you Marina ( @shocklocks ) for contributing to this post with your lovely and adorable art!)
From Maddy - @creatied​ / @islelight​
hey shir i know we haven’t been talking a lot lately but i still care about you a lot and consider you very near and dear to my heart. you’re a wonderful person shir & i hope whatever you’re going through eases up soon. i’ll be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the mean time but feel free to drop in if you ever need to talk okay. i love you! ♥
From Jay - @implosiveexplosive​
SHIR, you've filled my dash with prime time Bakugo content. You're such a sweetheart and talking to you OOC makes my day. I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER SOON !! LET ME KNOW IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP !!
From Zana - @heromight​
Hi Shir!!! It’s ya girl Zana! I’m so happy Deen’s helping coordinate this whole thing for you because you deserve to be showered with all the praise and compliments 100 percent!!! Not only are you an amazing Bakugou, you’re such a fun person to talk to and I know one day you’ll be a kickass animator too. I’m really glad we’re friends and ILU!!! “How To Safe A Life” will always be our song btw FYI kiss kiss gobbles up your booty  ^_^
From Ruby - @herohalf​
hey shir, we haven't known each other for long.. . or maybe we have, my concept of time is bad but i consider you a really good friend !! like don't get me wrong you're a stubborn bitch, but i am too and at least you're my stubborn ass bitch. but no, more seriously i really know i can debate things with you and talk with you and it'll still be okay in the end. i really appreciate those types of friendships you know? where things can be open to argument or disagreement but we can still talk about it and just, speaking with you in general is really fun!! you might be irl bakuku but i love you anyway and think you're really cool. i'm really happy that we finally talked and became closer.
From Lyn - @supcrmight
Shir!! I'm popping in here to tell you just? how amazing? you are? You are so heckin kind and wonderful, and so much fun to talk to not only when we're plotting out things, but just talking to you in general. You're so sweet and you care about those around you so much, I would very honestly throw hands for you. I'm really glad that we started talking? Like SUPER happy. Because you are just one of the coolest people I've met on tumblr. Not only that? But you are so hecking talented? I know I say this a lot, but I love your Bakugou so much, and your Tony. I love your portrayals of those two more than life itself, gosh. You're just amazing!! And wonderful!! And I am always, always here for you if you ever need to talk!
From Turtle - @katsukashinu​
ok ill be real i wasnt sure when shir started talking to me because she was such a good writer and i really liked her baku but usually that shit doesnt go well in fandoms but apparently we were actually linked by the soul because she literally became one of the first people on this shit-stain of a pathetic excuse for a site that i really looked forward to talking to, like real legitimate gayness here thats my husband and even though i mostly just laugh at her and call her cute when she's pissed i really would have never stuck with my blog for as long as i have if it werent for her, i really do owe shir for getting me through some pretty rough spots too and she needs to shut the fuck up and be happy ok
From Sam - @smashkick​​
so i've known you for a year and a half and from the get go you've been one of the few people i didn't have to gather up the courage to talk to or get past any awkward initial stages. i've seen you during the good and the bad and we've had a couple of ups and downs and falling outs but we're close enough to get past the bullshit and keep talking and i can't tell you how important it is to me that you've continued to be in my life. i know you're an amazing person inside and out even if you are stubborn and a bit of an asshole sometimes, something that we all can be, but you're also extremely supportive and considerate of people even though you're also really blunt about your opinions as well. your passion for animation is inspiring and i'm rooting for your future career as an animator and i'm always wishing you nothing but the best and i tell you this a lot but i will always always have your back. knowing you has improved my life and i've changed a lot and for the better since ive known you so yeah thank you and again ilu ok
From Deen - @thehandcrusher​
Alright listen up you bitch, I tried very hard to type something nice that played well with everyone else’s messages, but my brain isn’t having it so here we go, a blunt message from me to you.
I know we have our moments and sometimes we both drive each other up a wall -- it seems like it’s happened more so lately than it has in the past, but the thing I like about you is the fact that we can do that and still be friends somehow. I take it for granted sometimes and I go a little too far, but know that my intentions are never to hurt your feelings. I admire you. A lot, even. Your talent, your strength, your loyalty, and your tenacity -- all things I admire so much. I wish I could be as brave as you are. I care about you even when I’m pissed at you, and I always, always worry about you.
It sucks when someone who’s oceans away in a timezone hours ahead is one of your best friends because when I want nothing more than to hug you tight all I can do is type a really stupid heartfelt sentence that doesn’t actually DO anything for you because words don’t mean shit if you can’t back them up with actions.
If these past couple of weeks were any indication I absolutely hate missing you and hate not being able to talk to you as frequently as we used to. I’m sorry I dragged you into this hell, but I sure am glad you’re here with me.
I love and adore you. So much.
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jainarepellista · 6 years
Text
Tower of God S2ch271 Rough Translations
Hey! Sorry for missing a chapter last week. I was out of the country and forgot to set up my queue -_-
This week’s as well as next week’s would be queued posts too so if there are any changes between the preview and the official, they won’t be reflected in them. Thanks!
...Welcome. Travelling warriors of the Tower. // I am an/the administrator of the Hidden Floor, "Big Breeder" "Chung" [T/N: Big Breeder is the title; Chung is the name]
I have come to give you the Grand Quest
for successfully getting rid of all the evil energy in this place.
So shall we proceed with the Grand Quest // after you have a short break?
Go sing a song to help relax the minds and bodies
of our warriors over here, jesters!
(Sing! Sing! Sing!)
Urgh-!!
They have protected~ this beautiful village~ // by getting rid of that giant octopus~
(Ah~)
They are the true warriors of this place~
(Ah~)
(Ah~)
............
Oh great~ // warrioors~
(Aaah~ ♪)
I feel more tired..
??F Hell Train - Hidden Floor - 08
Hey, // do we really have to go one after another while escaping?
Won't it take us about three (and a half) hours if we keep this up?! // We could already be there if we just use BongBong.
............. // We can't do that.
Ever since I came here, I have experienced death with them several times. // Even if it's a bit slow, I want to escape with all of them.
I don't want to become someone who just throws their friends away! [T/N: regular YHS is so pure ;;;]
(Huhu-!!)
...He was nicer when he was younger..
(So what happened to him..)
(How is it)
(Do you see any soldiers)
.....I don't know..
!!
Hm? // What's that all of a sudden?!
This tremor..!!
Could it be they've already..?!
Th..ey have.. alrea..dy..!!
Big.. Bree..der..!!
It's Big Breeder..!!
What?! Already!?
That was too fast!!
Yu Han Sung-ssi, Big Breeder came out?!
..What do we do now?
...........
We..'ll go.. ahe..ad first..
What?!
As.. that g..irl said, ..if it..'s jus..t us // we c..ould get.. out of.. h..ere much.. faster.
W..e co..uld first.. esca..pe and ..stop th..em fro..m cle..aring ..the G..rand Quest. // Eve..ryon..e c..an liv..e if ..we ta..ke ca..re of.. Big.. Bree..der.
Go. I also know the way out. // We believe in you.
Bon-ssi..
But if we escape and fail to stop Big Breeder..!!
I know. We'll be trapped here until the next time.
But isn't it better to chose the option that doesn't have a high chance of everyone dying?
We have been abandoned by Big Breeder anyway. // The only one we believe in in this world is you.
That's right, Yu Han Sung-ssi!! // We believe in you!!
Please stop Big Breeder together with Batis-nim!!
Everyone..
............
I understand. We will go first.
I thought about it.. if it's just us, we could use a different route.
A different route?!
It's too dangerous for normal people.. We have to hurry. // Or else, we'll all die if the people outside clear the Grand Quest.
Then let's go!!
We'll also keep on moving forward!! // Let's believe in Batis-nim and the others!!
Yeah!! Let's go!!
We've died a number of times already anyway!!
There's nothing to fear!!
glint-
1 hour after- // Bard's Village
Hmm.. Then- // how about we get started?
This is your-
"Grand Quest".
If you clear this, the forbidden fruit will be dragged into the abyss
and you can move on to the next stage.
I'll open the scroll now.
...Wait. // I want to ask you something before we do that.
Yes?
Can you.. tell us where the data of the "young King Zahard" is?
.........
?
By Zahard.. do you mean the King of the Tower?
That's right.
His data is certainly in here....
But I do not know where he is. // He came in here before I even existed..
If you want to meet him, you'll have to find him yourself.
........Ah, is that so?
(Data of Zahard?)
...That guy // That look he gave just now..
seems like he's hiding something..
Then, let's move on with the Grand Quest.
He knows where the data of Young Zahard is.
The "champion villain" that will be your opponent this time-
is the "Mama Long-Tailed Tit" [T/N: so... tempted... to call it.... Mama Tit..... SIU why]
Eh..? // Long-tailed tit..?!
!!
Chiiirrp!!
Hm..?
Wh-what the!! What's that little thing?!
Chiiiiiirrp-!!
This bird is the "champion villain"!?
It looks weak..
Chief.. the long-tailed tit // is a bird from the D-rank quest.
Why did such a low level villain appear?
............
Big Breeder-nim.. what are you thinking..
The "Mama Long-Tailed Tit" is the champion villain of the long-tailed tits. // It is very weak. You could say it's the weakest among them?
It is very defensive of the eggs on its head that it protects, so you shouldn't attack there first. // Although its maternal love is strong, its skills are terrible.
What..?! So you mean you intentionally summoned a weak villain for us?
That is correct. // Actually, I accidentally bumped the difficulty level of your previous quest.
This is a place to welcome and prepare those who have cleared the Hell Train // not a place of a harassment.
It is our little gift to you.
Actually.. // it's so that you can clear
this stage a bit faster
I want to see you kill your friends that are inside the "forbidden fruit"-
How great. As expected of Big Breeder-nim!!
................
What will we do, Koon? // ..Wanna attack it first?
...Wait!!
It could be a trap!! // Even the octopus before was stronger than it looked.
You're too cautious, blue turtle!!
Shut up, gator.
What.. is this uneasy feeling..
That guy.. // is he hiding something..?
..What is this?
Is this the "different route".. // that you were talking about?
....Yes. Like I said, this is impossible for normal humans.
The quarantine area is composed of four large shelters and each shelter has their own exit.
That's why reaching the final exit takes a long time because you'll have to go back and forth many times. // But when you think about it, the quarantine area is spherical. And all the exits lead to its bottom.
If you can accurately figure out the drop points
You can pass through each shelter at the shortest distance.
Of course, you'll have to fight off the soldiers that will crowd at the explosion and then land at the right spot.
But if it's just us, we can do it.
No, maybe it's the easier way.
Although it's a bit dangerous!! // But it's the only way now!!
Oi!!
You'll get lost if you don't follow me carefully!! So watch out!!
..Should we  trust him?
....There's no other way. // Let's go.
Shit!!
I hope-
those outside won't take on the Grand Quest yet..!!
30 min later-
Chiiiirrp!!
..Maybe it's better to attack.. Koon? // We haven't touched it for a long time already.
Just wait a bit longer. // I don't feel good about this.
Feeling, feeling!! You keep on saying that!! Let's just attack it already!! // This is like the Floor of Tests all over again!!
Shut up, gator!!
Somehow.. I feel // that this is a trap..!!
Big Breeder is definitely hiding something from us.. So..!!
That bird is hiding a tremendous power!!
chirp?!
...So that blue hair.. is "that kind" of person..
(Look!! She's taken aback!! She's flustered because she was planning to betray us!!)
(What do you mean she's flustered!! She's just surprised!!)
(A dragon will definitely come out of it once we attack it!!)
He can solve difficult problems well // but he takes a long time solving easy problems..
....If I knew..
(Tch...)
I would've summoned a stronger villain.
(Don't let your guard down, everyone!! She's waiting for us to attack first!!)
(Arrgh!! You're so frustrating!!)
(
(I'm going to fking die from frustratioooon!!)
Well, it won't change anything even if it's a bit late..
(chiirrp!)
(chiirrp!)
They can take their time completing this quest-
Since those guys will never be able to open that door anyway-
Follow me!! We're almost there!!
!!
Is that.. the exit?
Yes. It's the only exit that is connected to the outside. // Surprisingly, there are no traps and and no soldiers on the other side.
But there's no way to open it.
I've broken through all the traps coming here- // But when I saw that door with an empty window that you can't input any password in, I realized
Aah. From the very start, Big Breeder had no intention of letting us escape from here. The reason he made this complex maze,
and have us run around and die many times looking for the exit // was simply to mock us.
I suffered a lot just to get to this exit // but I couldn't actually get out~ I mean
What the heck!!
So I waited for you. // I know you have to power to bring down those people.
..............
If it's you..
you can easily open it.
Go on.
A door that you can never pass.
If Big Breeder is Young Zahard's underling.. then if I use..
..this power, then perhaps..
Shinwonryu!!
....!! // It... o..pened!!
!?
What, isn't that too easy!?
(I'm a bit disappointed.)
W..e..couldn't... open.. it.
I knew it..!!
This person is him!!
..It'..s open?
V-ssi..!!
Big Breeder-nim!!
(Where are you going!!)
(Aaaarrrgghhh!!)
(..........)
Big Breeder-nim!! It's an emergency!!
...?
Those guys in the quarantine area....!! The.. the exit..!!
They broke the exit and escaped!!
(What..!?)
This place..
It's outside the quarantine area!!
Finally..!! We finally succeeded in escaping, Batis-nim!!
...Y..eah..
Could you look at this? Rose.
I wrote the lyrics to that song I composed the other day.
It's not yet finished but..
This..
is a really beautiful song.
It's a song of praise!!
To the great Big Breeder-nim!!
Batis-nim?
.........
Let's go.
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Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering
oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
yah on Rly Bad days
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,
3. The person you would never want to meet?
Orange Turnip
4. What is your favorite word?
it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that
7. What shirt are you wearing?
i’m wearing the dress i wore to work
8. What do you label yourself as?
annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good
9. Bright room or dark room?
i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
i was?? drawing i think
12. Who told you they loved you last?
i think it was @wrenn-frug​ 💕💖 lov u fren!
13. Your worst enemy?
dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me
14. What is your current desktop picture?
a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,
15. Do you like someone?
uh yah my cat
16. The last song you listened to?
Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
oraNGE TURNIP
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
orange turnip my dude i Hate
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
uh nobody ????
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
No
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money
29. What is your favorite expletive?
Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
my childhood thx
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?
34. What was your last dream about?
Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?
Nope
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
yAH it’s fun!
38. What is the color of your socks?
not wearing any
39. What type of music do you like?
A Lot
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
chocolate ayyyy
43. Do you have any scars?
a couple but like for Dumb Reasons
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)
46. Are you reliable?
i would like to think so
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
are you happy?
48. Do you hold grudges?
YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
none I am Not a God
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)
51. Are you a good liar?
is the sky green? don’t think so
52. How long could you go without talking?
Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
None my hair is Magnificent (idk)
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like
56. What do you like on your toast?
peanut butter and banan slices
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
working on a picture of a tiger redraw
58. What would be you dream car?
a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao
60. Do you believe in aliens?
yah
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them
64. What do you think about babies?
Gross
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them
BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari
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tayegi · 7 years
Note
Hey lu! I just read equilibrium's new update and its so good! I have been waiting to see the drama unfold once OC realises that Jungkook likes her. This has got to be one of my favourite writings from you! The storyline is so fucked up and sad yet i could totally see this happening in real life. Take your time to write the next part and i'll like you to know that you have found yourself a loyal fan here! Have a great day!
Ah im glad that you liked the update! And as strange as it is, theres a bit of realism, huh? bc real life relationships are never perfect. and this is such a level of fucked up that it could srsly happen in our fucked up world haha. Thank you so much and i hope you have a great day as well!
Anonymous said:If I were OC in equilibrium I definitely wouldn't have continued or even gotten into the relationship to begin with. Idk maybe I'm too prideful but if anything I would be MORE upset over being in love with someone who obviously cares more about someone else WHILE in a relationship with both. Like I'd have to witness the extent to which the person I love values someone else more than me, be constantly reminded that even if I'm with him and he cares about me to a degree, I will always be 2nd best.
wait really? This is so interesting to hear! I mean, i completely understand your perspective, but i feel like it would be hard for me to resist... Like imagine if it was IRL Jimin and he wanted to share you with an outside party. Could you really resist that? I am an weak bitch and id prob crumble in seconds D: 
Anonymous said:I really don't understand why all of these anons are so upset with the Mc and not the boys as well? The three of them are clearly using each other, it's not just her using Jk. Anyways, I love your stories and this one is fabulous as well, and those stupid anons need to chill out. You're fantastic and have every right to put them in their place! I look forward to the next chapter!
exactly! The internalized misogyny on this site is fucking ridiculous. But all of your kind comments make me realize that these idiots are the minority so im super grateful
Anonymous said:Equilibrium is so compelling. It's essentially a story like a chair with three legs- if one breaks, the whole structures collapses. Each person is only willing on keeping eachother around for their own gain. If anyone should be blamed for this, it should be Jungkook for simply suggesting the polygamous relationship knowing full well what it could mean for him specifically. Even more so, he's the only person "playing the field" taking advantage of Jimin's affection and OC's desperation - C Anon
Anonymous said:Continuing on my last ask. I also can't help but to notice that both Jimin or OC are particularly biased. They probably didn't intend to act that way but they do. But they also respect the "third wheel" of their ideal relationship respectively. Jungkook didn't do that. He intentionally tends to Jimin's needs knowing that's what he wants for no other reason than to keep OC away from Jimin. Cunning John Junglecock... someone is going to get hurt with this relationship built on lies - C Anon
Yes exactly! Theyre all pretty messed up, but Jungkook seems to be the most conniving of them all. I love the way you’ve thought this through and your interpretation is so spot on! Thanks so much for reading so carefully ^^
Anonymous said:Now that ive read chapter 10....how the FUCK are ppl mad at oc for this mess? Oc is dense for not picking up on jimin being willing to sell her for a corn chip in comparison to kookie, but the boys are by far the worst. They should've broken up after a week, with everything as toxic is it is. Both have ulterior motives when they say yes to the relationship. Everybody is in competition. And there is like, ZERO communication between them until kookie confessed in this chapter. It's a hot mess.
i know right??? seriously asdfjlksdfjk. tho i wouldnt go as far as saying that jimin is worse than the OC. theyre pretty damn equivalent. But no one’s innocent here haha. It’s just a truly screwed up situation D: 
Anonymous said:You are queen and I love you. I literally don't give a flying fuck what anyone else says about OC being a 'whatever-the-fuck-they-said' cause mygOD ARE YOU A FABULOUS WRITER. Fuck me Equilibrium is amazing. I'm slightly tipsy rn, but I know good literature when I read it, and I am leaving it open to reread it tomorrow when I am sober, but even I can see that the characters are all equally using each other, and each of them are to blame for this shit-storm of a relationship. Perhaps JK even more?
ahahahaha this is amazing! I’m so glad that you are tipsy! TAKE AN EXTRA SHOT FOR ME!
and i know right? I feel like Jimin and the OC have been played. Theyre innocent idiots. But then again, it’s not like they were forced into doing anything. it was their own free will :/ 
Anonymous said:Gahh ch10 was so intense! I agree with others that all three are wrong to manipulate each other but idk i found myself feeling kinda sorry for Jimin by the end of 10? The way I've interpreted it so far is that he probably felt the most inclined to just go with it and agree to the poly relationship, or at least that's how I read it, and yeah fine maybe he hasn't treated yn quite as 'nicely' but like he hasn't condemned her for also being affiliated with jungkook, but then again he's using this(1)
Anonymous said:(2) relationship to be with jungkook but yeah sorry I'm repeating myself but I really get the sense that he's just been kinda going along with it rather than outright manipulating them both, and yeah his resolve has been kinda breaking over the last few chapters but the flashbacks suggest that Jimin is at heart caring and just lovesick with jungkook whereas the oc and jungkook seem to have an unhealthy obsession w jimin and y/n respectively. Sorry I'm rambling but yeah thx for the amazing fic!
yeah i can see it that way! I feel like jimin has a better sense of morality and guilt than the other two. They are unhealthily obsessed, but jimin genuinely cares about them both, so it’s a bit sad. :/ But you can also see it from another dimension-- Jimin knew the OC liked him, Jungkook knew Jimin liked him and they both are playing their respective parties to get to what they want. However, the OC did not know that Jungkook liked him until the latest chapter, so she was pretty much innocent until now. so yeah. it’s debatable who’s the most innocent, but it sure as hell isnt jjk lol 
Anonymous said:Equilibrium is amazing for me because the longer you think about it the worse the characters get likeJimin at first seems like the purest one but then you realize he knew the OC was always being bullied and used and she depended on him because he was her first friend and he still made the decision to use her once again.Also I feel like part of her feelings for him have something to do with her feelings she came from an environment where she was never treated well and then suddenly here he was.
YES EXACTLY! It’s so hard to tell. bc jimin does genuinely care about the OC, but at the same time, the OC wasn’t manipulating anyone or stringing along anymore until the latest chapter where she finally broke and turned into one of them. So yeah... it’s the lucifer effect, man. The situation will change you 
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Text
Survey #60
“everything i touch turns to stone, so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own.”
how're you feeling today?   okay.  i guess.  still plenty of time for the day to be ruined.  i just woke up a few minutes ago.  thank god i managed to sleep kinda easily last night, despite what was going on.  guess i was just that tired. have you ever lost a close friend?   yeah, i have, but not to death. what’s your sister(s) names?   katie, misty, ashley, nicole, and tiffany if you want to count her. when was the last time you cried?   last night. what is your favorite song?   first let it be clear that i have LOTS.  but i'm actually going to make an effort to list some here.  again, this certainly isn't all, but some include "hurt" by johnny cash, "here to stay" by korn, "nebel" by rammstein, "perfectly flawed" by otep, "lost it all" by black veil brides, and just... yeah, LOTS more. how do you wear your makeup?   i will once in a blue moon wear foundation, but usually not.  i'll always put on eyeliner and mascara, usually lipstick, then sometimes eye shadow, depending on whether or not i feel like taking it off later or not. do you have a job?   no, but my mom and i are going to drive around animal shelters today to see about volunteering.  since i quit school, i don't know about you, but i can't tolerate myself to sit at home with zero responsibilities.  i have to do something. do you work out every week?   no.  funny how i used to do it everyday. what kind of bathing suit do you wear?   i don't know what it's technically called, it's just a normal bathing suit that covers the belly and such? do you think you are pretty?   i honestly think i would be if i wasn't my size. what’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you?   the cutest?  probably that time i was lying in bed and i couldn't sleep, so i was iming jason on facebook and jokingly demanded him to sing to me, because i mean, obviously he couldn't really.  he ended up posting the lyrics/sending me a video to "the mortician's daughter" by black veil brides.  i smiled so big listening to that song; i ended up listening to it all night.  if you ask me, i'll always tell you that was "our song," and it fits us now more than ever.  i usually can't listen to it, but it's so dear to my heart that i sometimes fight the triggering and just listen to it regardless and remember what we had.  i've also decided that regardless of whether or not we get back together, i'm getting "i love you more than i can ever scream" (or possibly another lyric) tattooed somewhere on me, probably in a quote bubble or something.  i don't give half a shit if i ever end up with someone else, i will always love him and that song, and i dare my potential significant other to complain.  but hey, regardless of your musical taste, you should really listen to it, it's beautiful. do you consider dogs inside or outside pets?   both.  i don't believe in leaving them outside all alone forever, and i don't believe in cooping them up inside where their energy gets to be too much. do you read books for pleasure?   not so much anymore, really.  i just kinda... stopped one day.  i really think it's because of my hospitalization; i read like crazy to pass the time every time i was in the hospital, and i guess i just associate it.  it's a shame though, i used to love reading... wood floors or carpet?   in general, i prefer wood floors.  i love it when they look all glossy and they're easier to clean, i think. a teacher says she’s noticed you’ve looked sad, do you confide in her?   i probably would.  when people actually show interest in my wellbeing, i usually open up decently. if someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it?   if mom let me, yeah.  i go on and off between wanting my own kitten, so. are easter baskets only for kids?   absolutely not! do you like to daydream about sex?   i'll admit i've done it before, but i wouldn't say i "like" it. which of your parents do you laugh more with?   my dad have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral?   yes, for my former babysitter miss janet. after a date, do you call your friend to tell them how it went?   lmao i probably would, honestly. do you like romantic gestures or do they make you feel awkward?   FUCKING YES I LOVE ROMANTIC PEOPLE. have you/do you plan to go to college?   well, i just dropped out of college yesterday due to my deteriorating mental health, so... do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings?   omg, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!  especially irl, i am TERRIBLE.  like i am a highly figurative thinking and think of everything in kinda inexplainable ways, to where no words seem to fit.  i will struggle so much in a conversation to get out words exactly how i mean them, which is why i prefer to write, because i can think longer about what i'm saying. do you think all porn stars are whores?   i'm sorry to offend, but uh, yeah??  a whore is a prostitute, and a prostitute is someone who engages in sexual acts for monetary gain.  it's kinda... obvious...? would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?   despite that only being two years younger, probs not.  i want someone older than me in hopes they'd be more mature.  sure, an 18-year-old could be perfectly mature, but i just believe the odds are better with someone slightly older. are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions?   both really. be honest: are you clingy?   quite a bit. do you like to wear makeup?   i do.  it makes me feel prettier.  i just don't usually put it on. how old is the oldest person you’ve kissed?   he's 23. are you bipolar?   according to psychiatrists, yes.  but honestly, i don't really know for certain, considering i always feel an underlying depression?  like i'm aware one kind of bipolarity is more manic, the other more subtle, but i still don't know if i have it. have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on?   MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BOI do you believe the last person you kissed still cares about you?   do i hope?  yeah.  do i believe he does?  no. do you like to cuddle?   if you're jason, yeah.  it's so funny.  i didn't even like hugs when we started dating, but he got me to wear i absolutely loved cuddling with him and i now love hugs. when you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over?   YUP.  if i really like it, anyway. do you prefer being called your actual name or a nick name?   brittany or just "britt" is fine. do you ever want to get married?   i do.  i'm christian, and marriage is perhaps the most beautiful thing in our faith.  i don't want children until i'm legally bound too, and i do want kids.  and i mean... i guess i'm still trying to be abstinent, so. are you wearing a necklace?   no.  i rarely wear necklaces. have your parents ever caught you drinking?   no.  i've never been drinking when i wasn't supposed to. ever been kissed under fireworks?   i have not. have you ever held hands with someone in a car?   jason usually let me hold his hand while he was driving, yeah. do you like the town you are living in?   *cackles maniacally* how did you get one of your scars?   from scratching my leg obsessively. would you ever get a tattoo/belly ring?   tattoos, fuck yeah, belly button piercing, only if i got much smaller.  i don't like how they look on people my size. have you ever hated a teacher?   no.  i've honestly never had a bad teacher because i actually knew how to behave. when is your birthday?   february 5th!!  coming up!! c: are you afraid of roller coasters?   YUP.  i'm terrified of throwing up. how often do you think about death, suicide or running away?   death/suicide, multiple times a week.  running away, never. have you ever had stitches? where?   in my chin, yes. do you enjoy chicken noodle soup?   nope. have you ever been on omegle?   no, because i'm honestly not fond of seeing random dicks. do/did you enjoy it when your school would have pep rallys?   NO.  i hated them so much that i always stayed in class with the teacher. have you ever been caught cheating on a test?   no, because i don't cheat on tests. do alligators scare you?   nah.  i mean if one was coming after me i'd obviously be fearful nor would i approach one, but in general, they don't scare me.  i rather think they're very cool.. are your parents proud of you?   i'm sure they're not.  i've done nothing to warrant pride. do you play just dance on the wii?   not anymore, but i would once in a while back when.  once, during my little sister's birthday, jason and i danced to a kiss song... and he beat me.  i'm still salty af. what are your initials?   bmd, or bmcd if you want my catholic name. did you ever want a pet rabbit?   not adamantly.  my sister had one once and she was veeeery messy. ashley didn't know the rabbit had died for a week. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you?   colleen if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them?   ... i'd be a bad person to talk to about suicide.  nevertheless, i'd speak to them pretty wishfully, to be honest.  ex. "everything eventually gets better," bullshit like that that doesn't happen for everyone. have you ever felt so depressed that you were struggling to carry on?   oh, you mean the daily struggle? have you ever worn colored mascara?   no... but that'd be cool depending on what i was wearing! before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace?   myspace, yes.  i remember mine was entirely dedicated to meerkats lmao. has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down?   yes. are you a secretive person?   online, not really.  real life, yeah. if you were going to buy a present for the person you love, what would you generally choose?   something oriented around "magic: the gathering."  or something with cthulu. ever gave a really long apology?   i have. have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?   i have.  call it crazy, but you ain't experienced heartbreak until you've felt it. where would you like to go on your honeymoon?   it'd be quite ideal if i could go to south africa for that so i could fulfill my dream of photographing the kmp meerkats, but i don't know how romantic that would be.  i'd want my future spouse's opinion here. would you ever cut all your hair off to raise money for charity?   all my hair?  no, honestly. do you eat the slice of lemons you get in drinks?   NONONONONO.  i will never forget that gmm episode where they talked about surprisingly filthy things and the lemons were one of them due to having relatively common contact with fecal bacteria from employees not washing their hands. do you like family get-togethers?   my family doesn't really have those because most of my family isn't in nc.  on the rare occasion some of the family's together, generally, no, i don't really enjoy them because half the family has shit to say about me. where does your (favorite) pet sleep at night?   in my old room.  i'd love for him to sleep with me, but he's old and has accidents. how many pillows do you actually use while sleeping (not just on your bed)?   three. do you prefer using regular or mechanical pencils?   mechanical. who in your family has the longest hair? how long is yours?   nicole or ashley, pretty sure nicole tho.  mine is mid-way between my shoulders and breasts. what do you hear now?   "fuck away the pain" by divide the day.  i really don't know why, but this song helps me feel better about shit sometimes...? what are all the areas of your body that you shave?   underarms, legs, trim a "certain area" when you go on webcam, who do you chat with the most? do you use any specific sites or programs?   i never use my webcam what books (if any) have you read more than once?   "because of winn-dixie" i read twice, and "meerkat manor: flower of the kalahari" i've probably read over 10 times lmao.  i skipped over clutton-brock's tangents in the later re-reads, though. what is your favorite card game?   "magic: the gathering" i assume.  i'm not big into card games. what is your most expensive piece of jewelry? if it was a gift, who got it for you?   that's a very good question.  i honestly couldn't tell you. what is your favorite video game to play by yourself?   i love replaying "silent hill 2" and experiencing it again, but the feeling will never be as raw as the first time.  i have to be in the "right" mood to play it though, or else it will REALLY depress me. you have to get a piercing, what do you get?   i want a vertical labret for my lip again. what are you wearing?   plaid pajama pants, cheshire cat tank top do you like the ocean?   i do, but it also scares me.  A LOT. would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?   honestly, i sleep better alone, but i'd prefer to be with someone. do you wear glasses?   always, unless i feel like taking a picture without them for whatever reason. do you wear contacts?   no, but i did years ago.  i was just bad with taking them in and out, so i got glasses instead. have you ever loved someone, but broke their heart?   i couldn't tell you.  he sure as fuck never acted like it.  despite being together for 3 1/2 years. have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed?   if you want to count my first two boyfriends, yeah, i never kissed either of 'em. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?   no.  one of us would die that day. has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked?   it's happened before and i'm just like... why???  you're not the one dating him stfu. have you ever stayed up late talking to a bf/gf on the phone or online?   plenty of times. do you have any handshakes with anybody?   nah. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   i've only been broken up with once, and he might as well have said, "i'm sorry you're too sick for me after all this time so i'mma leave you to die peace bye" who do you care about more, your significant other or your best friend(s)?   i don't have a significant other, so i'm just going to say crush instead.  and honestly?  i care about him more, sorry. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   i still have every picture i've ever taken with jason.  hell, i still have our facebook album of pictures because i refuse to delete it. is there anyone you don’t like that always seems to be everywhere you are?   no. who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they’re happy?   i would say jason, but he's not really "in my life," so i don't... really know...?  i mean i guess colleen.  though i'm aware it should be me.  i just can't manage to care for myself like that. do you like making lists?   i'm neutral, honestly. do you play sports with your siblings?   nope. what color or design does your shower curtain have?   it's actually entirely blank. does it bother you when animals lick themselves?   no, they're just cleaning themselves.  my mom though, she cannot STAND the sound.  she'll yell at any of the dogs if they're doing it. could you ever give yourself a shot?   probs. do you wear a bra 24/7?   i only ever wear a bra if i'm going somewhere.  gotta let the ladies be free fam. have you ever worked as a cashier?   yes, and FUCK THAT a million ways over. do you know how to tap dance?   i know how to clog, and it's pretty much identical, just the shoes are different. what ethnicity is the last person you talked to?   white do you have any interests in psychology?   i find it extremely interesting, but i have no desire to learn more about it.  the brain is too dangerous. would you go out with someone right now if they asked?   only if you were jason. have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch?   i have indeed.  very close online friend. have you ever been to michigan?   when i was a baby, yes. would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body?   never in a million years.  i'd get matching tattoo or a couple tat, but NEVER his name. do you know anyone with asthma?   my mother and grandma. are you going to force your kids to be in activity or let them choose?   i would never force my child to do something they didn't want to do. do you watch toddlers and tiaras?   omg no, fuck that show and its concept.  i do not, even mildly, agree with pitting your child against another to decide who's more "beautiful."  jesus christ, do you WANT your child to grow up insecure as shit?  i personally know a number of children who have been in pageants, and guess what, they're snobby, materialistic little... ugh.  even if my child asked, i wouldn't allow them to be in a pageant.  just no. what was the last band t-shirt you bought?   good question. if someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say?   hell no, son.  i'm 1.) not patriotic enough and 2.) i'm a pacifist and 3.) i just have no desire. are you passionate?   holy fuck yes.  i honestly think it's my favorite trait about me personally. do you own an old vintage typewriter?   we did at one point, no idea where it went... do you hate how dogs bark every time someone comes to your house?   oh my GOD you ought to hear how our dogs are when someone comes home. have you ever been to sea world?   i have as a child; i still remember being splashed all to hell by shamu or whatever the whale's name was there.  now as an adult, i don't know if i'd go again... due to obvious controversy.  i don't know how i feel about it, honestly.  like i do believe it's very important for us to learn about animals, but to put a huge whale on display for our entertainment?  i dunno, man. do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss?   it's very well possible i do.  i forget shit WAY too easily. are you a protective person?   oh boy, can i be.  i'm the type that would kill for those who deserve my protection. have you ever experienced an earthquake?   no.  i was two-three hours away when a very, very minor earthquake struck the east coast, though.  mom felt it at home. does your house have a dishwasher?   we do. do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?   probably, idk. could you say something good about the last person you kissed?   he's very realistic. what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated?   mike's hard and smirnoff what languages can you count to ten or higher in?   english, german, spanish do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people?   depends on the person. do you believe that the world will actually end?   i'm certain it will eventually. are you socially awkward?   always. are you satisfied with your gender?   i am, but even if i wasn't, what would i do about it? are you good at admitting your problems?   probably too good. who is your family doctor?   dr. emanuel has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality?   yep.  most recently when it seemed colleen's pastor thought we were a lesbian couple lmao do you ever floss?   i confess, no. are you an impatient person?   OH LORD YEAH are you a supporter of the war?   fuck no. has your cell phone ever rung in class?   no. speaking of which, what kind of phone do you have?   samsung galaxy do you sometimes think you aren’t as fortunate as others?   i'm perfectly aware i'm not as fortunate as most.  face it, not everyone is blessed equally. are you a paranoid person?   very. what would you say is your favorite type of flower?   tiger lilies would you consider yourself a clean person?   for the most part, yeah.  i don't like feeling dirty. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder?   not so much anymore.  i used to have repetitive thought cycles BADLY, but thank god i fought so hard to overcome that. how many trees surround your individual house?   loads.  we live in the woods. is halloween simply the greatest holiday ever?   if you can actually get into the spirit, absolutely.  haven't felt it for a long time, though... is pantera one of your favorite bands?   definitely not a fave, but i like some songs by them.  especially "walk." what color car would you definitely not want to own?   white.  gets dirty too easily. are you picky when it comes to music?   very much so. what's something you disagree with about the way you were raised?   my mom spanked us. has the opposite sex ever written you a poem?   yes, but i'm very suspicious it wasn't just for me.  juan was well-known to be a player.  he probably gave it to other girls. have you ever been a featured member on any website?   i have. who’s the last person you had a sleepover with?   chelsea
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