#i originally tried to keep the green of the family video sign but it just ruined the quality unfortunately

[marshmallow-rainbow139]

Anne Bennett wired autocomplete interview

"Hello, I'm Anne Bennett, and this is the WIRED autocomplete interview!"

Anne excitedly says this as she sits on a chair with a white background behind her. She’s wearing a white coat, a black sweater, and blue pants. Her hair is loose, and her makeup is perfect. Her red lipstick makes her smile shine.

… 

A producer hands over the card.

"Alright, let’s go!"

She brings the card closer to her face and starts reading the question as she rips off the first stripe.

"What does Anne Bennett eat?"

Anne chuckles. 

"Anything I can find in my kitchen that doesn’t have a sticky note on it with someone's name on it But my favorite food is lasagna with extra cheese!"

"What is Anne Bennet's real name?"

"I have an actual long name. It's Mary-Anne Jolene Bennett. I always went by Anne, never Annie; I hate it when people call me that. Mary is more like my Catholic name. Jolene, because Dolly Parton was my mom’s favorite singer, and Jolene was like our national anthem in our household. She was always singing that song, and in turn, I'm always singing it. Sometimes my husband and I sing it together! It's spontaneous!" Anne laughs as she recalls her children looking at them funny just this morning.

"What is Anne Bennett's zodiac sign?"

"I was born on April 5th. So, I'm an Aries. People say it fits me because I'm passionate, motivated, and confident."

"What color are Anne Bennett’s eyes?"

"Hazel. It’s a mix of my parents. My mom had blue eyes, and my father had green eyes. They look green." 

"What is Anne Bennett’s job?"

"I work part time as a dispatcher, and I help my husband with Wayne foundations."

… 

The producer hands over another card.

"Does Anne Bennett live in Wayne Manor?"

"Yes, I do! Also, a not-so-friendly reminder to paparazzi and thieves: we have booby traps! This is your first and last warning."

"What is the most dangerous booby trap?" A producer asked.

With a serious face and a serious tone, she said, "My butler. And my corgi, Dplly Parton. She likes to bite people’s ankles. I almost tried that with Superman."

"Does Anne Bennett like the Justice League?"

Anne looks at the camera with a "horrified" look.

"People think I don’t like the Justice League, but I love them! I have met them!"

"Have you ever seen Batman?" The producer asks

"Yes!" 

"Is he your favorite?"

"he’s second. Wonder Woman is my favorite!"

"Does Anne Bennett dye her hair?"

"No!" She says she's a little bit annoyed. "Why does everyone think that? This is all natural!"

Does Anne Bennett have a sister?

"I had a sister." She said it with a sad voice. "Her name was Dorothy. We called her Dotty. And she died when she was 12 years old due to leukemia, when I was 8. Unfortunately, nobody in my family was a compatible donor for bone marrow, and she couldn't keep fighting long enough to find one."

Does Anne Bennett have Martha Wayne's pearls?

"No!" Anne said it with humor in her voice. "I have pearls, but they are not Martha Wayne’s pearls. The original pearls were lost that night. The only thing that I have that belongs to my mother-in-law is my engagement ring."

... 

"How many children does Anne Bennett have?"

"I have seven lovely children who are my everything. Six boys and one girl."

"How to be like Anne Bennett"

"Trauma."  

"How many languages does Anne Bennett speak?"

Anne lifts her hand and raises her fingers while in deep thought.

"English, French, Romani, Arabic, and ASL. So, five languages. Some of them are my children's native languages."

... 

"Can Anne Bennett cook?"

"Semi decently." She answered. "But I make banger macaroni and cheese!"

"Can Anne Bennett play an instrument?"

"I was actually in my school's band, and I played the oboe."

"Can Anne Bennett adopt me?"

Anne blinked. 

"No, I'm sorry, but I've exceeded my limit with kids. If I have one more, I'm going to have a stroke."

"What do your kids do that makes you so stressed?"

"We don’t have enough time for the video to talk about it."

… 

Another card. 

"Where is Anne Bennett from?"

"St. Louis, Missouri."

"Where did Anne Bennett study?"

"I studied at the University of St.Louis." 

… 

The final card

"Is Anne Bennett a nurse?"

"I studied nursing, but I am not a licensed nurse. I am, however, the family nurse, and I am the bossy nurse type. If I think you are sick, you're staying in bed until I say you can get out. Everyone hides from me whenever they feel the sniffles because I can always tell."

"Is Anne Bennett single?"

"No. I'm happily married."

"Is Anne Bennett a meme?"

"Oh my god!" She shouts with a wild smile and laughs. "Is this about that one image of me behind Lex Luthor giving him a scornful look?"

"Why were you giving him a scornful look?" The producer asked.

"He was giving an interview about being acquitted of whatever crime he committed that week." Anne crunches her face. "I thought I was off frame. I found out I was a meme the next day when my son showed me a photo of the many memes that were created overnight. I was a little bit mortified, but I started to see the humor of it, so I chuckle every time I see another one pop up on my feed."

"Did Lex Luthor ever talk to you about the meme?"

"Frankly, dear. I don’t give a damn about what he thinks about it."

#batman #anne wayne #batfamily #bruce wayne x oc

[thisisme16]

Introducing My OCs

Okay wowzers this is the big one for me. Like I mentioned in the previous post, my stories mainly consist of my OCs interacting with the worlds and characters of my fandoms. However, any reader of this blog needs to know who my OCs are! (For science if nothing else.) I have 5 main OCs that I use almost all of the time. So, here we go! TLDR: Actually I can't really help you. Just read it all or don't. I don't know how to put things under Keep Reading. Sorry!

First things first! All of my OCs were Pokemon once upon a time but depending on what story I put them in they can change into humans, aliens, etc. So most of them have their cannon Pokemon Names as well as Human names.

Charizard ("Charlie") - This is my oldest, most fondest OC and the one my main blog is named for. He/him, young adult age, bisexual. He is a Charizard with emerald green eyes that almost shine and a scar over his right eye. As a human, he has these same features, as well as orange red hair. A lot of the times he's my protagonist. He's a good, modest, brave guy that usually tries to do the right thing. He always puts others first, often to his own determent. He likes singing, acting, games and has a taste for occult themes.

Mewtwo ("Matthew") - This character started as just the anime's Mewtwo, but evolved to become his own character over time. He/him, young adult age, straight but often shows signs he's a bit on the asexual spectrum. He has grey eyes as a Mewtwo and a human. But as a human he has very pale white skin and black hair. Mewtwo is the mature voice of reason in the group. He pretty reserved around strangers but warms up more around his friends and family. He can seem cold, but he just keeps his emotions close. He academically inclined and likes to read and play video games.

Jessica ("Jessica") - While some folks may think Charizard is my self-insert, he is actually not. This is my semi-self insert. While she does exhibit a lot of my traits, there are differences between us as well. (But those details are for me to know.) She/her, young adult age, straight/demisexual. As a Pokemon, she is a Grovyle. As a human she is a skinny female with dark brown eyes and long red hair (may change it to green some day, but who knows). She tends to be the sisterly figure of the group takes care of everyone. She also has a lot of problems with low self-esteem. She's a big gamer but also has a passion for stories and writing. (Hmm now why does that seem familiar, lol.)

Jirachi ("Jericho") - The first half of my comic relief duo. He/him, young adult age, straight. As a human, he is very short. He also has short blonde hair and blue eyes. He is a very cheerful guy that likes to make people laugh, but also has a bit of a philosophical side. His two main passions are cooking and backyard astronomy. But he loves to game too.

Deoxys ("Daniel") - The second half of the comedic duo. (I don't know how many people had read "The Misadventures of Jirachi and Deoxys" back in the day, but the two were originally inspried from those fanfictions. Obviously the characters evolved into their own eventually, same as Mewtwo, but I needed to pay homage to the original.) He/him, young adult age, pansexual. As a human, Deoxys has longer dark brown hair and brown eyes. He is very energetic. Almost manic at times, but he has a good heart. He's a big gamer and spends a lot of time looking out for his friends.

And there we have it! My hope is too introduce their backgrounds and my personal head cannons about them bit by bit as time goes on. I included their sexualities because romance plays a huge part in pretty much anything I write. I have lots of other characters in my vault too, but they will show up when they feel like it. :)

It may not seem like much, but putting these characters on the internet is a very big deal to me since I kept them close for so long. I hope they are welcomed with open arms, and I hope readers will have fun learning more about them over time!

#fanfiction #fanart #OCs #original characters #Pokemon

[realhankmccoy]

it's truly remarkable how many people open their mouths, Trump's cartoon comes out, and they're pleased in 'themselves' because the only thing that pleases the infected is doing the master's work. They don't know they're doing the master's work, though. When cartoon snot runs out their nose for him, they think it's their snot, even though it's just the sign of a predictable, tired infection.

I just don't get this -- this desire to be totally cucked and have no original ideas. I guess it comes from this desire to 'win' and this thought that Trump is a 'winner' and not knowing that one is just being a cuck as one tries to 'win' on 'one's own terms' but the only terms they're operating on is Trump's playground cartoon smirk and scowl and snort wild west.

All you can really do with these zombies, since you can't cure them (only the era of Trump passing and a new politician -- these people are 'the governerned' in every sense of the word) will force them to evolve) is to prod them to be other than Trump and see if you can ever get so much as a squiggle out of them that isn't infected with Trump's modus operandi. For they are in a boat with a 100 million other typical sacks of Wonderbread who adhere to the same ways, and by figuring out how one zombie acts, you figure out how they all act. Would it be more interesting if zombies had a bit of originality to em, sure, but they don't. I mean sometimes you find one in a Hawaiian shirt or a winter parka, but that's just dressing on what they are... these people never even learned how to clothe themselves in an interesting or original manner that steps outside of any conservative box.

You just gotta look out the window and wave your hand if you're bored and a zombie will materialise to keep up its desire to attack you. That's the American dream's way. Green Day really had it right in their recent video, tho they were hardly the first to make this observation.

None of em know they're zombies though. Not a single one. I sure do, in fact it's quite frustrating to see such weakness, such undead relentlessness, and such fearfulness when it comes to thought and creative spirit. A zombie isn't fearful to keep up the fight and keep up the message of Killer Trump tho... they do it so frequently and with such repetition that the zombie apocalypse just bores you.

In fact they're more at risk of boring you to death than actually winning at you if you're strong enough.

I often just stick boredom out the room at zombies and wave the Trump mirror at em because they're so boring that they deserve it. Plus it never gets old, holding up the mirror to what they are and the zombie is too dead to see themselves...they can't spot their reflection so they just keep attacking you. They have no clue they're a zombie. This is sort of a prank that never stops working, for a zombie will never have the brains to see themselves in a mirror.

They do love themselves tho and they do want your brains in their mouths. A zombie is unapologetic, lazy, uncreative, heteronormative, whitecentric, closed-minded and wants to eat you. A zombie could never be any of the opposite traits...

I mean imagine a zombie being apologetic, motivated, creative, homonormative, minoritycentric, open-minded and doesn't want to eat you.

Impossible, right? impossible to picture true zombie having even one of those qualities.

So they are definitely zombies.

I feel like that's my main risk with em... they're so fucking boring with their 'kill u' and Trump moans that it's just depressing living in a zombie world... same shit every day, they never deviate from their boring as fuck, typically far-gone-for-the-American-Way blather.

Make no mistake, they're also Trump's cucks and Bugs Bunnies and Wonderbread sacks spoiled by overly supportive nuclear families, generally, but they all march to the dull zombie drum which Trump currently controls

And they're certainly not Bugs Bunnies in the sense that they're going to crossdress, like any good conservative wouldn't (it scares them to think of acting that way... they're quite easily scared)

They're certainly not Trump in the sense that they're going to amass massive amounts of wealth and property

They're just kinda the cucks of cucks mostly

It's dull and the mark they leave on the world is the din of the master's way and it is such a predictable, compliant snooze that i cannot even.

The cucks of the American Way and its current form just happens to be a lot of Trump and Bugs going into what makes up

The American Zombie

#mommie dearest #trump #zombies #the american dream #the american way #zombified #zzzz #boring fuckin zombies holy shit is this a dull clockwork orange country

[lesbianrobin]

steve holding the door for robin

#strangerthingsedit #stedit #tvstrangerthings #dailystrangerthings #dailysteveharrington #steveharringtonedit #robinbuckleyedit #batmanandrobinsource #hawkinslibrary #tuserdanielle #usersnail #lesbianrobin.gif #i originally tried to keep the green of the family video sign but it just ruined the quality unfortunately #too many colors in the gif sjndkmns #i think the blue looks rly nice anyway <3 #helps the orange pop a lil more too #stranger #steve harrington #robin buckley #genuinely platonic soulmates

[jewels2876]

Always. - A LOKI finale synopsis

So I thought I could write something magical or be inspired by the Loki finale for @the-th-horniest-book-club as it's their last day of celebration.

And it hit me. I can't.

Here's what I can do: dissect this episode down to its heartbreaking ending because at the end I still have a million questions and it's gonna take a cartoon What If?, a Spiderman movie, maybe a Hawkeye show?, and a Dr. Strange movie to answer them all and I'll STILL have questions after that.

Consider for just a moment what happened to 2012 Loki when the TVA captured him way back in Episode One - what the hell did removing Loki do to the MCU timeline? Thor: The Dark World never happened. And no I don't mean you can pretend Marvel put it out there because they did, and it's one of the worst Marvel movies, there I said it. But if TWD didn't happen, what else could have been affected?

And with that disturbing thought we begin...

The opening credits HAVE AUDIO! Every tag line uttered as the characters flash on the screen, EVEN LOKI gets his "We have a Hulk" in. It is awesome; it is glorious; it is expected with EVERY Marvel creation going forward.

Loki and Sylvie should know better than to stare at a door; they always seem to open on their own when that happens. Miss Minutes pops up out of nowhere, scaring the bejesus out of 70% of people, the other 30% wanted to see her one last time. And she's not the same Miss Minutes we first met. She's edgy, she's less peppy, and she gives our duo an offer. Honestly, she should have known the result but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ravonna is doing something in her office; if she's cleaning it's a piss poor job. Miss Minutes shows up and tells Ravonna she gave her what she needs. Ominous.

Back to Loki and Sylvie who finally meet "He Who Remains." Now we all know guys with names like "He Who Must Not Be Named" are bad news. Guys, to answer the question asked in the show, I'm a little disappointed. The disappointment lasts about five seconds... The office they get transported to reminds me IMMEDIATELY of a certain movie and certain buildings we've seen before (insert duh at this point because you too have seen every Marvel movie ever.)

****** Side note: anyone know if Tom takes his tea with only two sugars? No? Yes? Okay getting back to other things ******

At this point, we get back to Ravonna and her lack of cleaning when Mobius shows up with the pruner (it has to have a cooler name! side side note: nope just glowing batons) and we get a nice little flashback to Original Ravonna (maybe?)

****** 2nd side note: since when did everyone who's not a Russo brother start using OHIO for origin stories? Seriously, go watch Black Widow. I'll wait.******

Now back to Loki, Sylvie, and He Who Remains, hereto known as HWR, who pulls the same trick we saw in the first episode with the "read and sign" guy with the adorable kitten. HWR needs a kitten, a pet at the very least. "You can't get to the end until you've been changed by the journey." HWR s is winding up for a pitch and also summarizes the show too. Loki asks if it's a manipulation; HWR finds the word interesting and I do to. Here's why:

Odin manipulated Loki's abandonment to his advantage

Thanos put Loki under mind control and used him

This is the 2012 Loki as a reminder, so he hasn't been subjected to imprisonment on Asgard or the brotherly banter/squabbles he and Thor have escaping Asgard, nor “Get help” from Ragnarok so it should come as no shock that Loki looks angry. After all, Odin and Thanos kind of killed any hope in Loki of feeling wanted or needed. Aren’t father figures supposed to instill hope, instead of disgust? Yeah, I can answer that one but that’d be an entire other post.

Now we’re back to Ravonna and Mobius and they spat over who was more betrayed - news flash: it was Mobius. But Ravonna has to do for the digs. “Those variants?” “You threw it away for a couple of Lokis.”  Mobius tries to reason with Ravonna, sounding exactly like Glenda and Elphaba from Wicked (his “together” is spot on Glenda!) Ravonna opens a portal looking for “free will” after giving Mobius one last beatdown.

And we’re back to Loki, Sylvie and HWR. HWR gives them a bit of his backstory; I have a suspicion he’s glossed over some of it (he admits being called a conqueror for cryin’ out loud!) He has a maniacal moment, standing on his desk, voice getting a little shrill and thin. He also admits he’s probably the saner of his variants (my words not his.) Then after his real-man-behind-the-curtain routine he makes them an offer. Take his place. Loki, who has been remarkably non verbal, asks why HWR would give up control. Good question from the guy who wants to be in control yet was meant to thrive on chaos he creates. If anyone is keeping score, questions have been asked but not a single ANSWER has been given! Sylvie isn’t believing a single word while our Loki’s wheels are turning.

****** 3rd side note: the acting has been PHENOMENAL this entire series. Forget what Marvel promised and didn’t deliver (fluid Loki) and a scene we’ll be getting to, Tom and company have been nothing short of an Emmy, which I expect next year.******

HWR finally gets fed up with Sylvie and tells her to grow up. Because she took her pruning personally. Now I’m not going to say she shouldn’t be upset about her pruning; Marvel made it A POINT of showing her playing, content on Asgard, when they took her. But HWR has a point. He’s offering an option that allows Loki and Sylvie to do whatever they feel is best and it’s the wrong time for Sylvie to get in her feelings. Of course 99% of us know that’s EXACTLY when feelings choose to surface.

Then something happens - we don’t know who or what did it. Was it Ravonna and her leaving? Did Ravonna meet someone we suspect? Was it Mobius? Miss Minutes? The agents? We may never know exactly but now HWR is actually in the dark. Mr. Know-It-All suddenly doesn’t know it all.

Sylvie thinks she has her opportunity to fulfil her quest but it’s our Loki who protects HWR. Loki doesn’t tell her she’s wrong or right, just to stop and THINK. And now we get a glimpse of 2018 Loki:

See the bigger picture

Let’s talk about it

I believe HWR

What fills the void of a dictator?

What if we unleash something worse than HWR?

Now here’s where Marvel gets an B+ in character development. They took the 2012 Loki hell bent on destroying Earth to rule it and gave him just enough growth to become the 2018 redeemed Loki ODINSON, willing to sacrifice himself to Thanos (even if he did think he wouldn’t die.) It’s not a perfect arc by any means, but Marvel got there and this is one thing I applaud.

Sylvie now thinks Loki is lying to her to get to a throne and is clearly upset they are not seeing eye to eye on this and another point to Marvel. Loki, for only seeing a few videos that Mobius showed him, still has more life experience in his SINGULAR moment with Thanos to know that there is ALWAYS something bigger, badder, WORSE around the corner and he does NOT want to make the wrong decision. Wow.

To trust or not to trust. 

It’s a beautiful sword fight that HWR sits back and watches like it’s ESPN. The lighting is gorgeous behind the action and is leading up to my next OMG moment: STOP.

Loki asks Sylvie to stop, almost like a child. Like someone who knows exactly where the fight leads, where it goes, and where it ends. And he says as much to her as well. Sylvie feels like that person who just wants the fight to be over; she hunches into Tom’s space and the lighting suddenly stays green and blue. Guess who’s green? Guess who is blue?

This goes back to my Emmy mention. Even if it’s ONLY for technical work, it’s so deserving. Sylvie, in green, tired, emotional, struggling with something we aren’t supposed to know just yet. Loki, in blue, almost as if his Jotun form has taken over, strong, sensible, relatable, empathetic.

And then that damn kiss!  Marvel missed another opportunity here. Two Lokis had the opportunity to show self-love, familial love, friendly love, ANYTHING BUT A DAMN KISS!!! I’m not saying they couldn’t have feelings for each other, but it NEVER has to be romantic just because it’s a guy and a girl. **dramatic sigh goes here**

Sylvie pushes Loki through a portal she has opened, then turns to stab HWR through the chest, as he predicted. HWR actually chuckles, which makes me wonder if he expected this exact turn of events. As if we’ll ever know for sure.

Of course the timeline is going nebular and we’re treated to a shot back to the TVA. Mobius and B-15 exchange words as they watch the timelines grow and grow. Loki is sitting on a couch at the TVA and decides he’s not done? You’re supposed to guess the motivation because everything seems normal at the TVA. Loki finds Mobius and B-15 and admits to everything. Loki calling HWR terrifying is terrifying all on is own. And this of course is where it ends.

The post credit scene is just a “Loki returns in Season Two.”

Guys, this season was a mixed bag. There was some good, there was some not so good; there were laughs and a couple of tears. But it also has me SO HYPED for what’s to come. More Loki, more Marvel content, more... everything, I hope!

#loki spoilers #loki tv spoilers #loki #sylvie

[misssquidtracy]

The Bravery of the Tracy

So I dipped my toe into the angst sandbox a little while ago...and nearly broke it off in the process.

I started my first and only fic to date (A Taste of the Tracy) at the start of lockdown, and my intention was (and still is) to keep it as humorous as possible. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself shifting between genres a bit more as the chapter count nears the big five zero landmark.   

My absolute favourite to write is (and always will be) Gordon, however I find John appealing in a scary kind of way. Appealing because I feel he’s much more multifaceted than what we see in the series, but scary because I find his identity hard to ascertain. He straddles both the older and younger camps, yet belongs to neither. The plight of every middle child.

I wanted to challenge this, and ol’ musey was up for it. I published this chapter a while ago, but recently re-read it and tightened a few things up. It’s well outside my comfort zone of Gordon and humour, but casting John as the heroic big brother was very satisfying, especially when considering his place in the Tracy age hierarchy. He may not be as old/experienced as Scotty and da Virg, but he’s just as much of a big bro to my boi and Alan as One and Two are. Maybe even better...*ducks flying chair and scurries back to Gordon’s corner*

P.S. This is chapter thirty two out of forty six. Gordon rescues a stray mutt in chapter twenty seven and names her Celery. She makes a brief appearance at the end.

                                                            -x-

John hated water.

It was wet, got everywhere and was frequently a lot dirtier than it looked.

It was also incredibly dangerous.

Hence the redhead’s displeasure when Lady Penelope sent him and his brothers the coordinates for Sydney Harbour, along with instructions to rendezvous with her and Kayo aboard FAB 2 for a private cruise.

It had taken the combined efforts of both Virgil and Gordon to manhandle John into Thunderbird Two, plus the assistance of Alan to secure him into a seat. It was only after Scott broke out some tranquiliser pills that John felt calm enough to stop puffing into the paper bag Gordon had handed him.

John’s fear of water was well justified. His aversion wasn’t the result of a lack of skill; like the rest of his brothers, he was a strong swimmer. Granted, he hadn’t enjoyed the swimming lessons their dad had forced them to take when they were young as much as Scott and Virgil had, but drop him in a body of water and he’d be quite capable of getting himself out safely.

It was the fear of one of his brothers drowning that fuelled John’s aquaphobia. The fear of looking away for a second, only to turn back and see one of them floating face-down. John swore he lost half his bodyweight in sweat every time Thunderbird Four was deployed.

The redhead’s fear hadn’t been born inside the four walls of his head. He’d had the misfortune of very nearly losing not one, but two of his brothers to the murky depths of aquatic oblivion.

It had been the middle of the summer holidays, and the entire Tracy clan had been enjoying a brief vacation at their mother’s ranch in Arizona. Jeff had been away at a NASA conference in Glasgow and Sally had been visiting some old friends in Phoenix. As the eldest and therefore the most responsible, Scott had been left in charge of the house and his brothers.

It had been a hot and sweaty day. Tempers had escalated alongside the thermometer and Scott had quickly found himself with four irritable younger siblings on his hands.

“I need an ice cream!” Virgil panted, fanning himself desperately with the hem of his shirt, “It’s too hot!”

Gordon, who had already shed most of his clothing and was padding around in just his shorts, pouted and gazed out the window, “I want to go swimming! Why can’t you take us swimming, Scotty?”

“I wanna go swimming too!” Alan cried, sipping angrily from a glass of juice, “You just don’t want us to have any fun because granny left you in charge!”

Scott sighed and dragged his hands across his face. He had a bunch of reading to catch up on before the new semester started in three weeks and copious interruptions from his brothers had already thrown him way off schedule.

John was also busying himself with schoolwork, however not quite on Scott’s level. While the eldest was reading for a degree in aeronautical engineering, John was preparing to graduate high school one year ahead of his peers.

Virgil was sailing through the first year of a degree in aerospace engineering, however wasn’t as preoccupied with studying as Scott and John were. As far as he was concerned, the summer vacation was for resting and spending time with family.

Gordon was in his second year of middle school and had zero intention of completing any of the homework his teachers had set him for the three month break. Stacks of untouched maths and history worksheets lay untouched in his schoolbag back on Tracy Island, along with the remains of a sandwich that had been in there for goodness knows how long.

Being in the middle of elementary school, Alan had bounded through what little homework he’d been assigned with some help from Scott. The youngest seemed unable (or unwilling) to understand why his brothers spent so much time on schoolwork when they were on holiday. Wouldn’t they much rather play video games and watch TV with him?

“Scotty!” Gordon whined, snatching the book on astrodynamics his brother’s nose was buried in and throwing it onto the floor, “Take us swimming! Take us swimming! Take us swimming!”

“Swimming! Swimming! Swimming!” Alan chanted, stamping his foot in time with Gordon’s pleas.

Scott groaned loudly and turned pathetically towards Virgil, his sapphire eyes wide and despairing, “Virg, could you take them outside and spray them with the hose? I haven’t got time to take them to the local pool.”

Virgil gave a sympathetic shake of his head, “Sorry bro, but I’ve got to be at the train station to meet Grandma in just over an hour.”

“John?” Scott tried, desperately switching his gaze to the redhead.

John remained silent for a few seconds, mulling over his options. He’d have to slap on at least three layers of sunscreen to stop himself from burning to a crisp, however schoolwork was getting dull and the weather was gorgeous…

“Fine,” John capitulated, wincing when Gordon and Alan screamed in elation, “But only for an hour.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you!” Scott gushed, seizing the redhead around his waist and yanking him in for an awkward hug, “You are my favourite person in the whole world right now.”

John merely grunted and reached for the sunscreen.

It was the middle of the day by the time John, Gordon and Alan arrived at their local swimming hole. Gordon had insisted that they go to the old flooded quarry on the perimeter of the ranch’s land, arguing that the local pool would be too busy.

John hadn’t objected. Any plan that didn’t involve crowds got his instant approval.

The sun’s rays beat down on their heads and John cringed as he felt a bead of sweat run down his neck. After separately tackling both Gordon and Alan and smearing an appropriate amount of sunscreen across their wriggling bodies, the redhead dumped himself in the shade of an ironwood tree and returned to his essay on hydrostatics.

Gordon and Alan busied themselves over the next twenty minutes with swimming and cannonballing off every rock they could reach. Tuning out the excited screams and energetic splashing, John channelled all of his attention into the paragraph on Pascal’s law he was in the middle of writing.

It wasn’t until the splashing ceased that John glanced up, only to see the quarry empty and the water’s surface perfectly still.  

Panic coursed through the redhead as he scrambled to his feet and ran down to the bank, hoping desperately to catch a glimpse of Gordon’s bright green trunks or Alan’s blond head beneath the surface.

After being thwarted by the poor visibility of the water, John switched his focus to scouring the nearby rock formations, silently praying that his brothers were engaged in an impromptu game of hide and seek.

A lone bubble breaking the pond’s surface dashed that plan in a second.

John had never thought of himself as particularly brave, but the boldness with which he threw himself into the quarry would have stunned even Scott.

Without waiting for his eyes to adjust after crashing through the surface, John frantically swooped down towards the bottom of the pond, his long legs making short work of the journey. Panic turned to dread when the redhead realised that the water was a lot deeper than he’d originally thought.

The sight that met John’s turquoise eyes when he reached the bottom would go on to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Gordon’s leg was ensnared by a submerged section of wire, most likely from a discarded piece of machinery. Alan was tugging on his brother’s arm in an attempt to free him, however was expelling an alarming number of bubbles, a sure sign that he was seconds from falling unconscious.

Reacting purely on instinct, John seized Alan’s arm in a steel grip and began to drag the youngest towards the surface. He glanced down briefly to motion to Gordon that he’d be right back and instantly wished he hadn’t.

The look of despair in Gordon’s eyes as he watched John disappear with only Alan in tow was an image the redhead would take to his grave. It was the raw panic of an older sibling who’d been left to die so that the parent could save its helpless younger sibling.

It was a look of anguished rejection.

After surfacing and dumping a coughing Alan onto the first rock he could find, John dove back down only to find Gordon limp and unresponsive.

It took the redhead’s strategic mind only thirty seconds to disentangle his brother’s leg from the wire trapping it. Chillingly, he knew from his rescue training that it only took twenty for an exhausted child to drown.

The ascent with Gordon was much harder than with Alan, but John knew his own fatigue was mostly to blame. His lungs burned and the strain of propelling two bodies up to the surface was killing his legs.

Alan was sat on the rock John had left him on. He was white from cold and had several nasty looking cuts on his hands, no doubt from trying to remove the wire, however seemed otherwise stable.

Gordon was blue and unresponsive. John could feel a scream of dread building inside his lungs as he lay his brother down on the shore and began performing rescue breaths.

In the background, Alan started to cry.

“Come on you idiot!” John screamed as he surfaced for air, slapping Gordon across the face before starting a series of chest compressions, “Breathe! Breathe!”

Gordon didn’t stir.

John felt white hot anger crash over him like a tsunami. His previous fatigue long forgotten, he resumed the rescue breaths and chest compressions, barely flinching when Gordon’s sternum cracked under the pressure from his palms.

After one more gut-wrenching minute of CPR, Gordon exploded back to life. John felt himself sag as his brother violently vomited up the water he’d inhaled, his torso spasming in panic.

“He’s okay!” Alan cried, his cheeks red and tear stained, “You saved him!”

John barely heard his youngest brother, his vision blurring as the adrenalin wore off and shock began to set in. In the distance, he could just about make out the forms of Scott and Virgil sprinting in their direction, their yells fading to white noise as John’s drenched head hit the ground.

Two seconds later, his world went black.

                                                            -x-

“We’ll all wear lifejackets, so try not to panic too much,” Scott soothed as John planted himself like a mule in the doorway of Thunderbird Two, “FAB 2 also has a state of the art drowning detection system, so we’ll be as safe as if we were on dry land.”

John scowled and refused to budge. Scott hadn’t seen that air bubble. Or Gordon’s face when he thought he’d been left to a watery grave.

“C’mon John,” Virgil waded in behind Scott, “We’ve all had a rough week. Don’t you think you deserve a little pampering?”

John’s face flushed red, but he still refused to move. He felt a sudden affinity for cats and their aversion to water. Screw the joke about him being a ginger giraffe, he was most definitely a ginger tabby.

“Ten seconds,” Scott sighed, raising his eyebrows in impatience, “I’m giving you ten seconds to move and let us pass, otherwise I’m locking you below deck with Celery.”

John’s eyes widened accusingly, “You brought the dog along?”

“Of course,” Gordon responded, motioning to a yellow pet carrier that was stashed in the back corner of the cockpit, “I couldn’t leave her back home with just Grandma and Brains for company. She might get blown up. Or be made to sample Grandma’s new liver casserole.”

John scowled, suddenly aware of his nose twitching in irritation.

It didn’t matter. Dog or no dog, he wasn’t about to willingly let any of his brothers near water that wasn’t contained in either a shower or a bathtub.

Ten minutes later, the redhead found himself imprisoned beneath the swanky deck of FAB 2 while the others cast off. Celery sat obediently at his feet, gazing up with the same expression of ardent worship she used on Gordon.

Next to Celery, Sherbert yapped loudly, thrilled at finally having another doggy friend to play with. The tiny pug launched himself at Celery’s face, disturbing a large plume of fur when his claws playfully caught the mutt under her chin.

John groaned before sneezing loudly.

#thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds tag #thunderbirds are go #gordon tracy #john tracy #alan tracy #scott tracy #virgil tracy #grandma tracy

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.37

Shiro arrived mid-afternoon, as Keith drank his forth cup of coffee to settle his nerves. His brother wasn’t great at keeping time, yet Keith wished he could have managed it for a nice change. Lance had been nervy all morning. He’d cleaned through the house, Keith still in bed when Lance came to attack the spare bedroom. His boyfriend casually lifting the bed, balancing it on his shoulder, vacuuming under it and placing the bed down again in a manner of minutes like it was perfectly normally, and he hadn’t been in the bed trying to sleep after tossing and turning all damn night as he wished he had the courage to go crawl into bed with Lance.

Matt and Lance were off to a rough start. Both males had looked each other up and down. Lance calling Matt a “mutt” and Matt calling Lance a “corpse”. Vampires and werewolves occasionally coexisted, but these two seemed natural born enemies. Lance had explained the house rules, Matt had looked bored, even scoffing when Lance asked that he and his girlfriend not have sex all over his house, and if they could wait until everyone was asleep before they did. Keith wasn’t sure this work. He could tell Lance was seething, the wine glass in his hand barely holding together in his kind of boyfriend’s tight grip. Sitting around the kitchen table, Shiro was trying his hardest to defuse the situation before it became one.

Smiling tightly, Shiro hand his hands wrapped around his coffee cup. His brother looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept the whole time he was away. It’d been months since Shiro had looked this bad. Keith wanted to send him to bed, but Shiro was kind of the lynchpin that brought everyone in the group together. If Shiro spoke, then both Lance and Matt would listen. Under the table Keith’s leg was against Lance’s trying to offer silent support as they couldn’t hold hands. Lance would freak if Keith even thought of trying

“Now. I know this is hard for all of us, but I think we should try by reintroducing ourselves. Lance?”

Keith felt it unfair Lance had to go first. Shiro hadn’t even talked to him alone about what had happened while he’d been away. Keith didn’t have anything he could use to make Lance feel better about the current situation. Whatever Shiro said, they’d be finding out together.

“I’m Lance. This is my house. I’ve been dead for the last 36 years. I have a cat called Blue. Pidge and Hunk are my two best human friends”

Lance sounded as if he was standing in front of some anonymous meeting. Detached and nervous. More nervous than detached

“Thanks for that, Lance. Keith?”

Shiro really was insistent they go through the whole charade

“Keith. Shiro’s brother. Apparently recently transferred to Platt. I like coffee”

Shiro raised an eyebrow at him. His brother was lucky to get that much from him as it was. Yeah. He hasn’t forgotten being transferred with no say. Curtis didn’t need prompting as he explained

“Curtis. I’ve been cursed for about 4 months now. Ex-hunter who now works for VOLTRON out of Platt. Lance’s personal assistant, and medical advisor”

Again, Shiro raised his eyebrow in silent judgment. If his brother liked to be too busy, he was going to miss everything happening

“We’ll talk about that later. Matt?”

Matt sighed, his expressions were so much like Pidge’s that it was easy to tell the two of them were siblings. Other than the height difference and the long scar on Matt’s cheek, Pidge could have easily passed as him

“Matt. Werewolf”

Shiro closed his eyes, Keith nearly able to hear his brother counting to ten before he opened his eyes again

“Look. Neither of you might be happy initially, but we all need to be on the same team here”

Matt huffed, even his attitude was like Pidge’s

“Fine. Matt. Werewolf. I was accidentally by my girlfriend Rieva. Pidge’s older brother. I’ve got all the attributes including the sense of smell. Lance smells like a virgin in heat”

“It’s better than stinking off wet dog that rolled in something dead”

“Hey...”

Shiro pushed his seat back, rising to his feet as he slammed his hands on the table. Whelp. They’d gone and done it now

“Enough. You’re acting like children. This is Lance’s house, so as long as you’re living here, you’ll show him some respect. Lance, Matt and Rieva are you’re guests. I know you’ve been ill, but you need to keep your ego in check. You both need to keep your egos under control. Keith and I will be moving back to Platt Monday week. The both of your are under our care until you’re proven to be a direct threat to human lives. Especially you, Matt. Lance has a long track record of not harming humans. You, on the other hand, injured two of the Blade’s werewolves. I can’t keep you safe if you slip again”

Matt sighed again. Keith wanted to punch him in the face. Sure, there were a huge array of sounds that the word “sigh” covered, but Matt kept using the same one

“I’m sorry. You’re right. We’re both having issues with our egos”

Keith looked to Lance who gave a tiny nod, Lance didn’t want to be standoffish, especially not to the brother of his best friend

“I’m sorry to. My senses have been pretty whack lately. That’s why Curtis is here, he was sent by Coran to make sure I don’t up and die... again”

“Alright. Good. Now, I was thinking maybe we’d all get along better if we all knew how each other turned”

Lance immediately paled, Keith had seen how hard it was for the vampire to explain the incident

“Lance got attacked by two vampires when he was 8”

Matt let out a whistle

“Damn, man. They got you young. Rieva tried to hide she was a werewolf. We met on the same tour in Greece, then again a few days later in Paris. I took it as a sign, she kept trying to push me away, that was 10 months ago. She accidentally bit me 9 months ago... got this scar at the same time”

Rieva nodded. The woman was pretty in her own way. Tanned enough to for her skin to be a deeper shade of brown than Lance’s with long black hair and green eyes

“I never meant to hurt him. I turned at the full moon and escaped for the night. Matt came after me...”

“And I’m glad I did”

Ugh. So they were one of those disgustingly loved up couples.

Across the table Curtis cleared his throat

“I was cursed. I’ve got half a horn, and half a tail. I was supposed to infiltrate a werewolf pack in Prague, but they seemed to already know I was hunter. They were trying to summon the spirit of a berserker using magic, only I’m not a werewolf and the spell went wrong. I wasn’t permitted to stay in Rome, they didn’t take too kindly to me being cursed. Coran offered to take me, so I’ve been working in Platt looking into the curses effects in his laboratory. So far it seems to affect the things I say. Coran feels they summoned part of a lesser demon instead of a beast spirit, and part of its soul has bonded with my quintessence. Lance has been through a lot, and Coran thought we may be able to help each other. His fae magic had no effect on the curse. Of course, without the original spell working backwards has been hard. And it hasn’t been that great, but I’m happy to be alive. Especially now Shiro’s returned”

It was Keith’s turn to raise an eyebrow at his brother. Curtis had no filter and that sounded suspiciously like his brother had been keeping secrets about his love life. Either that, or Curtis simply meant he was happy to see his friend and hadn’t meant it the way he sounded. Just because he’d snagged himself a boyfriend, didn’t mean everyone was suddenly in love and dating. Shiro was still mourning Adam. They’d intended to marry and everything that came with it. It wasn’t fair... what had happened. Since meeting Lance, Keith had kind of felt like maybe he was better place himself, forced to work through feelings because there wasn’t a whole lot things to do in Garrison. Not that he was going to tell Shiro this. His brother had abandoned him and he figured he could milk that for a little longer.

“That’s rough. Most werewolves I’ve met have been all about the muscles and not the sharpest tools in the shed. They really shouldn’t be messing with that stuff. Not that vampires are any better. Who the fuck takes a human as a pet?”

Curtis nodded at Lance’s words, Matt didn’t look terribly pleased but by now he’d probably had his fair of share of scrapes with werewolves. Shiro simply smiled like he’d solved everything with one conversation. He definitely hadn’t.

“How’s Pidge doing?”

The glass in Lance’s hand finally broke. Lance shoving Keith when Keith automatically went to start picking up the pieces

“Idiot. You can’t touch the blood. I am not having you think I’ve turned you again”

Reprimanded by his boyfriend, Keith crossed his arms. Lance was super protective of Pidge, he’d have had months of Pidge upset because Matt wasn’t messaging her back

“I wasn’t thinking”

“That’s obvious. Don’t touch it while I get a cloth”

Matt watched as Lance cleaned up the mess, placing the glass in the sink to rinse the blood off of it

“I asked you how my sister is”

Keith almost felt sorry for Matt. A cranky Lance was a scary thing

“How do you think she is? I know you were staying away to do the right thing by your family, but you really fucking hurt her by not replying. She pretty much worships you, and you weren’t replying. She’s fine physically. Still hunting ghosts and making videos. Still wanting to do dumb things like she’s isn’t a human. Her and Hunk are still as tight as always. Hunk’s got a girlfriend now, Shay. She’s just like him, they’re so sweet together. They’ve got no idea about this world. I’ve never told her and I’ve done my best to make sure she never finds out”

Matt looked upset, hopefully with his actions

“You wouldn’t understand... I wasn’t going to come back...”

Keith groaned mentally, why would Matt go there? Lance understood too well what a bite did to a family

“I wouldn’t understand? Please tell me how I don’t know how being turned can ruin your family? How you’re scared of what you are and you don’t understand? I have no idea at all. We both know if Pidge knew, she’d want the bite. She’d want to be part of this world. Heck, I think she’s so interested in the paranormal because she wants to feel close to you again. Rieva, please don’t think I’m having a go at you. I know accidental turns happen, and how scared you must have been to turn Matt. I’ve put you and Matt in the room Keith and Shiro were using, the guest bathroom is near your room. It’s the downstairs spare room. Shiro, I’ll bunk you Curtis and Keith. I’ll have to find a spare bed, or one of you can sleep in the living room. Normally I don’t have a full house to worry about. My office is off limits. I work as a lawyer so I’d rather keep my clients information confidential. If I have to talk to a client, I’ll try warn you ahead of time. If you want to train, do it out on the back lawn, and don’t kill my garden. Also, Curtis and Keith aren’t allowed near the toaster without supervision... And maybe don’t touch Keith’s coffee, he’d likely to stab you for trying. He revivals Pidge with his need for caffeine. I’m going to double check the bedroom upstairs”

Lance had barely left the kitchen before Keith was pushing his chair back. Shiro cocking his head as he watched

“Where are you going?”

“To check on Lance. He’s obviously upset”

“When did become so perceptive?”

“When you went disappeared for weeks. Pidge is like a sister to Lance. Everything dangerous she wants to do he always checks it out first to make sure doesn’t get hurt. He’s been looking out for her, even when it puts him in danger. He collapsed a mine shaft so Pidge wouldn’t be hurt... Don’t listen to our conversation”

Yeah, Keith wasn’t be fair. He’d basically tattooed “I’m not okay with this situation across his forehead”. Shiro would make him apologise later, but for now he wanted to check on Lance. He’d gone from having Hunk and Pidge staying over to 6 people kind of living with him. Keith was already at his people limit before everyone came back. He’d missed Shiro, but he wasn’t sure he was keen on Matt. He wasn’t about to shoot him, but family was a complicated thing that Lance had had such a hard time with. Heading upstairs he headed straight for Lance’s bedroom, knowing he’d find him there.

*

Knocking gently on Lance’s door, he found Lance sitting on the side of his bed like he liked to do when he was thinking

“I didn’t handle that very well”

Keith sighed as he walked over to the bed, before sitting down next to Lance and taking his hand

“I think I handled that even worse”

“I heard. It’s just... my body is being weird again. I’m not used to the scent of werewolves and it’s making everything all yuck. I’ll get over it, but I shouldn’t have been so short with Matt”

“You were worried about Pidge. You’re allowed to worry about your friends”

Lance dropped his head to rest of Keith’s shoulder

“Still. I made a horrible first impression”

“If Matt is anything like Pidge, you’ll be fine once it settles down a bit”

“I feel like I’m lying to her by not letting her know he’s here and that he’s okay”

“Nah. Think of it like a surprise. Besides, you’re not intentionally hurting her by not telling her right away”

“Still feels like I am. How are you? You must be happy Shiro’s back”

“I’m relieved. I’m still mad at him though. I get why he had to keep quiet until things were organised”

“You two will work things out. You should be downstairs with everyone else...”

“I’m fine here. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. How’s the hand?”

“Healed up. I must have looked so lame breaking the glass”

“You didn’t meant to”

“It still happened. I know Pidge is human and close ties are dangerous but I don’t want to see her hurt”

“I know you don’t. It’s one of the things I like about you”

“It’s not my great arse and award winning personality?”

Lance tried to joke but it sounded flat. Keith didn’t like it. Lance was being too hard on himself for caring

“Those too. So, what are we going to do about bedding? I don’t mind sleeping on the couch”

“If anyone should be sleeping on the couch, it should be me. I knew I didn’t have enough beds, but I don’t know what to do about that”

“I can sleep on the couch. I’ve slept on way worse”

“Mami would have a fit if I made a guest sleep on the couch”

“Then how about we share a bed?”

Keith didn’t mean it to sound as forward as it did. But Lance’s bed would easily fit both of them, and there was only one bed left. Not that he actually minded the couch. There would be plenty of space for him

“I don’t know... wouldn’t that make things awkward with Shiro?”

“Like you said, I need to talk to him anyway”

“I get nightmares...”

“So do I”

“But you’re not a vampire. I could seriously hurt you”

“Or, it could be fine. Why don’t we just try it for the night and think about things tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I turned the forth room into my office... maybe I could sleep there?”

“Lance, it’s your house. You shouldn’t be kicked out your own bed for doing a nice thing and giving Rieva and Matt a place to call home”

“I can’t imagine what the two of them went through. I really hope they don’t hate me”

“Like you said, it’s an ego thing. You can’t control that, but if anyone can bring their ego under control, it’s you”

Lance let out a small snort. Keith taking the win

“See, you know I’m right. You’re overthinking things”

“Only because I’m rubbish at hosting people”

“Nah, I’m still here, aren’t I?

“Only because you’re stubborn”

“I’m as stubborn as you are. Seriously though, you’re fine. Things’ll settle down”

“I’m worried about going into heat. I have I idea how to explain that”

“You don’t have to, unless you want to”

“I’m not going to have much choice if I turn into a bat”

“We can talk to Shiro together. Or I can tell him. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable”

“You’re the one I’m worried about. I don’t want you and Shiro to end up fighting because of me”

That was so Lance

“Even if we fight, we’re brothers at the end of the day”

“That must be nice. Mami is the glue that keeps my family together. I miss her”

For someone older than him, Lance was sweet for still caring for his mum the way he did. If it wasn’t for the fact they had three new arrivals, Keith would suggest a trip up to Platt

“Why don’t you call her?”

“She’d known something’s up. She’s got enough to worry about”

“She loves you. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. But I get if you don’t want to call her. Can I do anything?”

“You already are. You should go talk to Shiro. I might take a nap and calm down”

Lance took too much on his shoulders. Keith didn’t want to leave him alone when he was feeling down

“I can stay...”

“Nah. I’ll Be okay. You go make up with Shiro. It’ll make me feel better”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Thanks for coming to check on me”

“I’ve got your back”

“I know... if I’m not away in hour or so, come poke me with a stick”

Keith found himself kissing the top of Lance’s head, before replying

“Will do. I’ll find the biggest stick I can”

“Why do I feel like you’re actually going to find a stick now?”

“Because I am. Now let’s get you tucked in. Can’t have you sleeping on top of the covers”

“I’m not a little kid”

“You could be”

“Fight me”

Keith laughed. He deserved that one

“After the old man gets his sleep. I’ll sort things out with Shiro, so stop worrying about it so much”

“I can’t help it. I care about you”

Keith kissed the top of Lance’s head again. Shiro was going to be confused as fuck when he finally explained what was going on between him and Lance. Hopefully his brother would be more distracted by what was happening with his heart that his newly discovered love life

“I care about you too. It’s going to be okay”

#once Bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

[rabidbuffalo]

Melody ( @summerxmelodies) & Ash’s letters, courtesy of Pvt. Joker!

Dear Mel, 

 Sorry I haven't written. It's been a hell of a time. ***** everywhere. That's what we call the Vietnamese. It only took me one try to get through boot camp. Couple of the guys that were with me failed. No idea what happened to them. Word is they're just sending them through over and over until they pass. I found someone to help me write to you. His name is Joker. He's a photographer. (I'm a Combat Correspondent.) 

 Cowboy, that's our squad leader, he says Joker will make us famous. I guess they're sending pictures and shit back home. (We are. There will be video footage as well.) I don't wanna be famous, I just wanna be home with you. 

 We're in a place called Hue (pronounced Way) right now. All the guys ask why I don't go with the hookers they bring in for us. Only one that knows I got a girl back home is Joker and that's 'cause he's writing to you. I figure no one will believe me anyway. Most of 'em are scared of me. (I'm not.) 

 Oh, I was sergeant of a platoon. Can you believe that? They let me be in charge of a bunch of grunts! 'Course it only lasted 'til I flipped the bird to a Colonel. Demoted me back down to Private. It was fun while it lasted. Cowboy says I got real skill, though. Never thought anyone would ever say that about me. Finally found something other than cars that I'm good at. 

 I really miss you. All the time. I hope you're doing okay. I can't wait 'til I'm done and I can come see you. I'll try to write again. I don't know how long Joker will be with us. I didn't really want to tell anyone else that I have trouble writing. He figured it out. I hope I get to see you real soon. I love you. I'll write again when I can. 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (I made him sign it for you.)

***

Dear Ash, 

 It's so good to hear from you baby! I miss you so much. I can't tell you how proud of you I am. Come home to me, okay? You're amazing, baby. Why'd you flip a Colonel off? Maybe they'll let have command again. Just don't go flipping off the higher ups. 

 I'm doing good. Better now that I know you're alive. I never stopped writing, but I was so scared. I love you so much. I can't wait for you to be home. Even mom and dad are looking forward to you getting back. 

 Joker, thank you for writing for him. You don't know what hearing from him means to me. I can't thank you enough. Mom asked me to let you know that if you're ever in town to please stop by for dinner. 

 Love forever and always, 

Mel

***

Dear Mel, 

 Proud of me? You might want to wait on that. I promise I will come home to you. There's nothing more in the world I wanna do. 

 I flipped him the bird 'cause he was an asshole. Lots of shit happened since I last wrote. Cowboy went and got himself killed. I took command of the Lusthog Squad. That's my unit. Fuck them ***** in command. This is my squad now. Joker's not happy about it. (Could be worse!) 

I can't believe your mom and especially your dad are looking forward to me getting home. That's crazy. I thought they hated me. A lot. 

We're getting ready to move out again. Hopefully it won't be much longer. I'm fucking done with this shit stain place. I love you forever. 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (Hi, Melody! You're welcome. I'm glad I can do this for you! All in all, Mother's a good guy. That's what we call him. Animal Mother. He still won't tell me why. He just grunts and laughs when I ask. Maybe that's why? Not sure! My real name is James, and now that he's found that out, he won't stop calling me Jimmy. If I'm ever in New York, I'll be sure to stop by! Never know where I'll end up! We really do have to move out, though. We'll write again when we can. Take care of yourself. -James)

***

Dear Ash, 

 Sorry to hear about Cowboy. You take care of your men and Joker. I know they're in good hands. 

 Lot has happened while you were away. They did, but I think they realize how happy you make me? They just disliked how old you are honestly. Plus that whole thing with the law. You've always been good to me so they've got no reason to dislike you for that. 

You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Big Bad Wolf. 

 I'm so ready for you to be home. 

 Love, 

Mel xoxo 

 ( Hi James. Please be careful. Watch out for Ash and yourself? I look forward to hearing from you both. I'm glad Ash has a friend over there. Be safe boys!)

***

Dear Mel, 

 I was really hoping we'd be back in the states by now. They're really dragging this bullshit out. We're just slaughtering ***** left and right. We don't even have a mission other than stay the fuck alive. 

Thanks about Cowboy. Haven't lost anybody else yet.

 I'm glad they see that. I wish they could see how God damn happy you make me. Bet they flipped their wigs when they found out how old I really am, didn't they? You're the only good thing I got back home, so I gotta take care of you. Promise I will forever, Little Red.  

I'm so ready to be home. Soon. (We hope.) 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (He said he's not putting hugs and kisses, but I'll do it for him. XOXO! Wish you could see the way he lights up and smiles when a letter comes from you. I tried to capture it in the photo I enclosed.  There's one of me, too, just so you know who what I look like! And one of Cowboy from before. Hold onto that one for him. We got lucky and I found a way to develop some film. I wrote on the back of the photos for you! Thank you for the well wishes! Stay safe! - James)

***

Dear Ash, 

 I think everyone here is just as ready as you for the war to be over. I know I am. I'm glad everyone's still alive. 

 They did. Dad especially. Think he's still sore about it. He'll get over it. I know you will and I'll do the same. 

Always and forever, baby. My handsome Marine. I hate that you're over there, but you look really good in the pictures baby. Short hair suits you. So does that big gun. What is it? 

 Love,

Mel 

 (Thanks James. Wow. The pictures are amazing. I love them. Nice to be able to put a face to you. Why do the guys call you Joker? I've added a few photos of me. I know I sent Ash off with one, but he might need a new one. I know you guys have been through hell. Stay safe!)

***

Dear Mel, 

 Tell your dad I'm sorry I lied and I won't do it again. I just want to take care of you. Tell your mom I sure could use some of her meatloaf and that casserole I like that I never remember the name of. Joker thinks it's green bean but I don't remember a lot of green beans in it. 

 It's an M-60. I named her Melody. You shoulda seen me in boot camp. They shaved every bit of my God damn hair off! I miss my hair. Especially the way you used to play with it. Hell of a lot harder to do that now. 

 Thank you for the pictures. I didn't want to tell you but the original one you gave me got all fucked up and then I lost it when my helmet got knocked off in a fucking ditch. Joker keeps trying to take one of the pictures. He said you're gorgeous and there's no way you're real. (You look like an angel? It's just not possible! Haha! Mother's a lucky man!) 

Miss you. 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (You truly are beautiful, Melody! Nice to put a face to the letters, too! They call me Joker because I have a tendency to make jokes. Mother says it's because I'm scared. Maybe he's right. I'm not gonna lie, it's scary as Hell here. Hopefully we'll be done soon. Take care of yourself! - James)

***

Dear Ash, 

 Mom and I cooked a bunch of food. Sweets and meals. Don't know if it'll make it to you in one piece or not, but we tried. Share some with Joker? And the other guys if enough survives. 

 You named that big gun after me? Dad told me it's a machine gun and people don't carry it around like that? 

God, I love you so much. Miss you even more. When you get home you can grow your hair out again. I miss playing with it too, but you are super handsome in your military stuff. 

 I wouldn't have been upset if you'd told me baby! I'm glad I sent you some new ones. Should I send one for him too? Glad he's there with you. 

I love you so much Ash. Miss you too baby. So much. Mom and Dad say you're welcome to stay with us when you get back. Spare room is yours. 

 Love, 

 Mel 

 ( Thank you! My mother says you're very handsome, but obviously I'm partial to Ash. I'm scared for all of you. Always thinking about you guys. Stay safe! Hope you all get to come home soon!)

***

Dear Mel, 

We got the sweets, but the rest of the shit didn't make it. But thank you! We shared what we could. People are starting to believe you might actually be a real girl now. (You should see the smirk on his face when he said that! Ha!) 

 Yeah. It's a machine gun. People don't carry it around like that but I do.  It's fully automatic. I just pull the trigger and rain hell down on those fucking *****. No don't send him one. (Yes, send me one!) 

 They're gonna let me stay there with you? Fuck, I must've done something right for a damn change, huh? Don't know what exactly I did, but I'm glad they changed their minds about me. 

 Command says just a few more weeks, but I'll believe it when I see it. My tour was supposed to be up three days ago and I'm still in the Crotch. Maybe soon. I miss you and I love you. 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (Tell your mother I said thank you! Not that I don't love him, but it blows my mind that he got a doll like you. Maybe there's hope for me yet! Until next time, James)

**

Dear Ash, 

 Well I'm glad something made it to you guys! 

Are they? I'm glad. I know shit is ugly over there, but I am proud of you for how you've taken care of Joker and the others. You're a good man. 

 Wow. You really are the Big Bad Wolf. Love you. So much. 

 I've sent a few more pictures, just let him have one of the copies? 

 Yeah, they are. You're family. It's a long story that can wait until you get home. 

Love you more than anything and miss you more, baby. 

 Love, 

 Mel 

 (There's definitely hope! You're a good looking guy. Plus, you've been so sweet to write for him. I thought he was dead for the longest time, but I kept writing just hoping I was wrong. It was so hard. Hope you guys come home soon!)

***

Dear Mel, 

 We're supposed to be on a plane back to the States in a week. I don't know if this will make it to you before I do, but just know that we're headed back. What's left of the Lusthogs anyway. Joker included. 

 I let Jimmy (JAMES) have one of the pictures. He teases me that he's using it to jerk off to. Can't say I blame him for that one. We don't have anything pretty to look at over here. Just pictures of you. 

 I really hope they're not shitting us and we're headed home next week. I love you. 

 Love, 

Ash 

 (Aw, gee, thanks, Mel! I do what I can. Despite popular belief, I'm actually very nice. I'm glad that I've been able to keep you two in touch. Mother's been much more tolerable since he's been able to write back to you. I can't imagine being on the other end of this and just waiting. Hopefully he'll be back to you soon. Don't know where I'm headed yet if they're telling us the truth and we're actually headed home in a week. It seems like a pipe dream that's too far away right now. We'll see. If not, we'll be writing again! Keep your head up! - James P.S. Thank you for the picture! I'm happy to know you!)

#summerxmelodies #hey there little red riding hood * ash & mel (summerxmelodies) #i had to okay

[sorryforpartyrocking]

color asks all the colors. i promise i’m very friendly and not evil

you are extremely evil and that's ok!

red: describe your favorite shirt

any of those overly specific ones

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

i wouldn't change my eye color 💖 its fine as is

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

*hypnotizes you* ooo you wanna give teddy hyde more attention ooo

green: do you have a favourite flower?

Larkspur

blue: preferred type of weather?

warm

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

idk if i have a closet friend...

magenta: do you keep your fingernails long or short?

long but short if i want to paint them

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

sea slug or that one fucked up shrimp that punches really hard

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

uhhh pangolin? my fav animals change frequently

cyan: are you religious? spiritual?

no

sea green: can you fold a fitted sheet?

fold a what now

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community?

ye

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

an aesthetic photo

aqua: do you thrift?

no

pink: what's your natural hair color?

dark brown

beige: have any pets? what're their names?

2 pets <3 cyrus n goldie

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

ill probably go vegetarian once i graduate

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct

all of them

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

1, working on 2. id love to learn as many as possible

maroon: do you care for clothing brands?

no

rose: favourite scent on a person? 

any fruit

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

yes

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

i can play. the kazoo and the snare drum

i wanna play the bass guitar so bad it's the sexiest instrument

copper: gold or silver jewelry?

it depends on what im wearing but silver

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have ear piercings. i wouldn't mind a septum piercing

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

0 :(

ebony: would you ever want to play a game on television? (jeopardy, family fued, etc)

yes i love money

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm?

no

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

i have no fucking clue

lavender: relationship status?

single but crushing on... someone

erin: what was/is your best school subject?

english ig? im good at math but i hate it lol

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

i think bi women should be able to use butch/femme

fulvous: another name you think would suit you

i was originally going to be named phoenix so ig that

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

computer science

frost: a -core you enjoy

lovecore, glitchcore, what eva

porcelain: an tv show you used to love

i used to really love total wipeout

fawn: any interesting family stories?

my great grandma fucking. murdered her husband and got away with it

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

yes

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

no but i wish it did

rust: form of art you enjoy doing?

painting. sketching. breathing.

ginger: any sideblogs?

no im too lazy for that

cherry: YouTubers you enjoy watching?

i like vine star-turned commentary youtubers (drew gooden, cody ko, etc.) i watch a couple of video essayists and movie reviewers

wine: do you have a 'type'

i am looking away

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs

i had to get my birth certificate for this one fuck off

sun: libra(?) moon: aquarius rising: also aquarius

blood: twin beds, queen, or king?

queen

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink?

no pink is a cute color

plum: a food you've never tried

i don't think ive eaten most indian food? id like to

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish?

all of the above

amethyst: do you collect anything?

i collect ribbons and buttons

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

earbuds

azure: jean jackets?

yess

teal: have a job?

not yet

denim: kill the spider or take it outside?

KILL

sapphire: do you think you can sing well?

no

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

mint

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

sir chloe - too close

penny: icecream or cake

cake

ash: can you do your own makeup?

ahh im not a makeup person

jade: ever written fanfiction?

i am looking away part 2

grape: how many blogs do you follow?

627 🤢🤢

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat?

after

chestnut: type of phone you have

it sure is A Phone

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

chips

aquamarine: beach or pool

beach

brass: least favorite food condiment

MAYO

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee?

a lot 😌 i want that shit rotting my teeth

silver: ever broken a bone?

no

rose quartz: rings or necklaces

necklaces i fidget with rings too much

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

no

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle?

no

scarlet: favorite holiday

halloween

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash 

it doesn't fucking work!! just buy them all separately its worth it

platinum: do you follow politics?

sometimes

magnolia: your Instagram handle?

gucci_smarttoilet but i don't post things

#long post #ask games

[szopenhauer]

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           preferred field *chuckle*

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     yes, I have an idea

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           I haven’t

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? -             

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       celebs should help them, not me, I need help myself!

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Or do you always try out something new? usually

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       old folks’ home for sure

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   sleeping :x

Do you enjoy being on your own or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           I’m a loner/introvert

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     yep

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I don’t recall atm

What’s a First World problem that you have?         hmm...

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     me and my sister were doing puppet shows for our parents, mostly her ideas as she was forcing me to perform those until I got sick of that

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? nie bawiłam się w większość gier przez brak zdrowia, ale lubiłam plac z huśtawkami czy drabinkami, albo udawać rodzinę/dom i te fajne białe “krateczki” z kolorowymi “guziczkami” co jak się je wpinało w dziurki to układało się z nich obrazki (nie pamiętam nazwy)

Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? there isn’t

Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? my mom annoys me all the time lol Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? I’m too short but I manage and still some ppl sometimes ask me for help anyway Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? used to smell them but now just texture Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a figurine? How did you do this? I’m no Chunk :P

Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I wouldn’t do that on purpose but I don’t believe in most of the superstitions, luckily there are some things you can do to avoid bad luck like throw salt over your shoulder or knock on non painted wooden thingy etc. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bi polar all the time? I’m sick of ppl who use mental and physical illnesses as excuses when they don’t have them - single headache ain’t a migraine nor being an ass makes you a border, shut up! Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you?  more than once Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? some are good, some not Ever been choked severely on something? just a feather Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? several like monkey, raccoon or cat Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? I didn’t participate but I watched/looked at them when I was younger Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? ... why? Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? at times I talk to my computer (because I hate it so we argue), kettle and fridge, also my stuffed animals of course Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: penis Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? I thought and I wouldn’t like it besides maybe finding some cool stuff that drown  What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? creators lack imagination, they ask the same stuff over and over again, it’s boring What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? red Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? noooo Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? rarely and I’m ashamed of that tbh Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? hell no but I’m not that bad at it Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I have good memory when it comes to that most of the time - not counting my green scissors grrrr Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? Archelan - Christmas themed and fuzzy  Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? not as often as I’d like to? Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? raped, killed or robbed more likely Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? baths as I like to sit and I don’t like the glass nor have water over my head  Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? it seems Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? nah, I dislike surprises and there weren’t opportunities/possibilities to do that Do you tap fingernails on desks? hardly ever Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? vocalist (who can play instruments) but I have no talent but don’t worry, it was a childish dream that fade away when I found out more about live of a band member Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? nope, we don’t talk, just say HI if anything  Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? yep Do you ever had to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? camp When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? we’ll see, covid situation isn’t helpful and I can’t focus on books lately Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? I treat them how they treat me (not authority figures/dangerous ppl tho) Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? sweet and quiet Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I don’t like to but I still end up arguing, sigh... How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? avoid them, block them, ignore them fight with them when they don’t stay away (not physically yet)

How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? about 200 PLN  What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? cool but wonder how that happened What color is the closest desk to your body? What all is on it? ugly light brown with shitload of stuff The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? gonna have it soon so don’t remind me Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? aliens tried to abduct me in dreams but didn’t succeed ha!  What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? not too tiring but not completely silent either Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ look is important but not as much as personality for sure, it’s like 1:9 I think Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? could say so Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? r u kidding?... Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? anyone can be Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Konrad once told me I’m like a private detective about it because I’m so sneaky they don’t realize until it’s too late but I sadly forget infos quickly due to stress last months so it’s not as useful as it sounds Does it freak you out when the police drive/walk by? somehow Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I don’t drive Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I had a friend who was a firefighter

Have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you? left in the kitchen but informative like - I went there or feed the dog etc. Would you ever get your nails done? I can do them myself if I ever want to

Are you afraid of worms? maggots Do you wear rings on your thumb? why not How many shirts of yours are red? less than 5 Does the color red look good on you? my first therapist told me I should wear it to be more brave but it causes anger in me so I prefer not to Do you pray before every meal? Sunday lunch with parents Have you ever been caught cheating on a test? not caught but been cheating in high school How many white tank tops do you own? 0? Do loud people bother you? omg YES Does your head itch? not currently but frequently Do you know anyone named John? my ex friend had a nickname like this Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? I’m not stupid Are you a fast runner? like Gimli Did you ever want a pet rabbit? no way

Do you ever want to own a house? apartment more likely How do you feel about men? blergh Do you know any police officers? my neighbor was a police officer Have you ever signed a petition? lots Have you ever aspired to start your own business? I wish Who is the oldest person living in the same building as you? mom The youngest? me Would you rather pay with cash or card? cash, cards make me nervous Have you ever used a pager? I have not Do you like visiting the beach? beachcombing is fun Do you like to buy things? but not spend money lmfao Have you ever been in a polygamous relationship? I didn’t know that I apparently am - jk Is there anyone you haven’t spoken to in a long time but you still think about daily? my grandma for example Would you like to be rich? not filthy, having enough money to live and not barely survive

have you ever behaved like a stalker? *crickets* can you lie and keep a straight face? poker face game strong when situation calls for it

have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? especially dad’s do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? hard to tell if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? picked my dog’s  have you ever masturbated while driving? wtf, don’t do that, gross how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? without asking? *cringe* how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” when you sneeze? thank you unless I sneeze many times in a row and they bless me every single time - then it’s annoying what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? r u ok? have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? who said I play/listen to those? have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? possibly how many partners is too many? at once or in your entire life? do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? that reminds me of the RED movie XD

would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? peg leg 100% elseway I’d end up with an eye cover as well if you know what I mean bonus points for/to being a pirate tho how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? either right behind me or carry heavy/big load do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? for example when I worry about it bleeding  what is your cure for the hiccups? wait

Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? awwww she was such a good actress RIP

Is Christmas stressful? to me it is but I’m stressed 24/7

Do you make your own smoothies or juices? meh

Do you think time really does heal all? NO

Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? cold

Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? ... he died?

Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? my mother for dirty laundry

When do you decorate for Christmas? as soon as possible

Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? yes

Have you ever been pranked via a hidden camera? am glad that didn’t happen 

Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? I’m depressed year round

If a job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave? if I can change it without ending up on the street then I leave

How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better? nothing? Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with? my family member[s] How is your relationship with money? we don’t see each other as often as I’d like to ;) get it?  How do you feel about growing old someday? won’t live that long

Are you wearing two shirts? too hot for that Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? disgusting! Can you point out constellations in the night sky? I can not What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? not interested What’s the last thing you bought at a mall? food, antibacterial gel and a blanket

Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? parents but I’ll feel crappy about it  Have you ever swam in a river? as a child Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? ewww seriously?  What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? smells make me sick In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I seek presents whole year then store them for later Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? as a lesbian What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? bushes, grass, moss and trees, wild flowers, if they want to grow, can stay  Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I agree When’s the next time you’ll go to the grocery store? not in next weeks

Where’s your car keys? not applicable Did you keep any momentos of school dances? pics Do you still have clothes from your high school? and middle school  Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? this question...

Do you own anything skull print? had a shirt that I gave to John ages ago Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? parents and my gf Which ex of yours means the most to you? my partner as we’re back together Have you taken prescription medications that didn’t belong to you? oh well... How are your social skills? awkward Have you ever stayed at a hotel for longer than two months? I’m poor Do you ever go outside to look at the stars? there were some days in past summers when me and dad been going to stadium for a walk at night, that’s when and where we saw UFO  Who breaks away from the kiss first? she as she forgets to breathe  Do you know what you weigh? thx for a reminder - they’ll ask in hospital Have you ever smoked anything other than tobacco? one cigarette was all that I smoked in me life Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? nope Do you say koala bear or simply koala? koala  Do you usually travel anywhere in the winter? I’d freeze brrr Do you wait for someone else to take the garbage out when it’s full? we take turns Are most of your friends white? it’s not America so...

Does your hair reach your boobs? not even my shoulders

What’s something that fills you with anxiety? what doesn’t?...

What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? there’s no expiration date

Have you ever watched Bob’s Burgers? fragments

Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I wasn’t that much of a note passer 

Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? nah

Do you clean things that are already clean when you’re bored? tha hell?...

Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? tropical

What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I say it’s important to be healthy but weight isn’t always a sign of being ill

Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? none that I know of

Do you find Asians attractive? yes and no

Have either of your parents ever been to jail? nooooo

Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? there’s time for one of each?

Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? like every other similar store 

Are your colarbones prominent? yeah

Have you ever in your life worn overalls? I have indeed

How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? sorry but I didn’t care

Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? she is

Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly

Are you watching The Walking Dead? I’m scared of zombies and gore 

Are you a light sleeper? became lighter

Would you consider cuddling cheating? it’s complicated

What does the purse/bag you last used look like? it’s black with red embroidery and white beads

Can you make a clover with your tongue? impossible

What’s your favorite coffee brand/flavor? I don’t drink coffee

Is your belly button pierced? no piercings!

[ecto-american]

October Nights C5

Ectober fanfiction || Day One | Day Two | Day Three | Day Four || On AO3

Summary: Danny may have died, but he is certainly not gone. And he refuses to be forgotten.

Day 5: Scarecrow & Grave Robber 

Tucker had missed that day. He had finally texted her back at eight that morning when Sam was already anxiously waiting at the steps of the school. He said that he simply felt too depressed to go that day, and that his mom was letting him take a mental health day. Boy, could she ever relate. Sam had to rely on her grandma to motivate her out of bed that morning, and it was not an easy task to do.

But she had to force herself to go to school that day. It was the last place she wanted to be, but at least she'd be surrounded by people. At least he would be attached to her and here, instead of at home with her vulnerable grandmother and parents. Being in a crowd would also make it much harder for him to catch her alone and do anything. Her dad had driven her there, cheerfully talking about nothing and being oblivious to the cold air that had origins in the ghost that sat invisible in the back seat. Sam almost found it comical how her dad missed that Danny, even as a haunting full ghost specter, had buckled his seat belt. Tucker still agreed to meet her at the cemetery after school, then give her a ride home. Especially after she was able to spit out part of what had happened. She spared him some of the details for now, but she did warn him to wear his specter deflector to their hang out. Just in case.

Because she knew that this figure would absolutely not leave her alone that easily. And once Tucker was fully in the loop, she was afraid that he'd be a target next. Sam merely prolonged the inevitable obsession from continuing to escalate.

The feeling of being watched was mild all that school day, but it served as a reminder of his constant looming threat. He was keeping his distance, cautious and unsure of what she had planned after her freak out against him. Sam wore the specter deflector under Danny's oversized NASA sweatshirt as a precaution and kept a blaster strapped to her thigh underneath her knee length skirt as a warning.

Her eyes watched the rows of houses, desperately assuring herself that she had some kind of comfort and help within their walls. She spied a few people home in the windows, a few scarce people in their driveways as they returned home from work or some errand, several people driving past her. Kids' screams of excitement filled some sections of the neighborhood as they played in their yards. It put her at some sort of ease, that, in theory, somebody would be a witness to that looming presence that was following her. She could feel it, his gaze. He had to be invisible, but he was close.

A scarecrow caught her eye as she began to approach the shopping district. It smiled cutely as it stood propped up in the flower bed, leaning on the shop's sign. The scarecrow was just another part of that shop, Aloe There!, and their regular fall decorations. It was one of Sam's favorite shops, a small family owned business that had been around for as long as she could remember. She found herself stopping in front of it.

The small local greenhouse and store that she always got her supplies at, where she'd drag Danny and Tucker to. Just three days before he died, Danny had taken her there to get some new lighting for a special plant she had bought. Her boyfriend had dorkily brought her a mint plant during his silent fit of boredom while she shopped, expressing how they were mint-to be. At the time, she had rolled her eyes, telling that idiot to put the plant back where he found it.

Now she'd give anything to hear another stupid pun.

She stared at the scarecrow. That stupid smile reminded her so much of Danny. The adorable charm, the bright blue buttons shining. It reminded her of that plant. Her fingers grasped her backpack straps. She absolutely needed that mint plant.

Sam made her way into the shop, hearing the familiar bell ring. The store was a bit too warm, as always, but it was like it melted away her grief and troubles. If only for a short while. The shop owner, a plump grandmotherly figure, brightened the second she saw her. She stopped stocking shelves to brush her dark green apron. As usual, the shopowner's bored fifteen year old granddaughter was behind the counter, watching videos on a smartphone and only mumbled out a half-hearted greeting.

"Hello, Sam!" the owner greeted warmly.

"Hello, Mrs. Addison!" she replied cheerfully.

"Do you need any help, dear?"

"No, ma'am!"

"Alrighty, hon. Just call if you need me."

"I will!"

Sam knew where everything was. She had visited this shop countless times, and she knew exactly where to find the plant. A tiny, unimpressive plant. It wasn't a good idea to plant it now. But she knew it'd survive the cold weather. Mint, like Danny, was very strong and stubborn. It'd just remain dormant for the winter.

Regardless, she picked up the cheap plastic pot that held it, hugging it tightly to her. She also found a cheap hand shovel, and she brought them to the counter. The bored teen put down her phone and began to ring up her items.

"Will that be all for you, Sam?" she questioned.

"Yeah. No bag or receipt, and debit card please," Sam answered before it could even be asked. The teen simply nodded, swiping the card and handing it back. Sam put her wallet and the shovel into her backpack. The receipt printed, and the teen tossed it in a trash can behind the counter.

"Have a good day," she told her, and the teen immediately returned her attention back to her phone. Sam hummed in return, picking up the plant and holding it to her chest.

After a brief goodbye, she continued on her way. The now distinct coldly feel intensified around her, and she scowled. Sam didn't break her pace.

"Go away. Cold air's bad for the plants," she grumbled.

"...You bought the mint." The invisible voice sounded surprised and a bit confused. Sam stared down at the dormant plant.

"...I did." There was no hiding her impulse buy. Not that she had any doubts that he had watched her pick it out and purchase it anyway.

Sam could feel the air shift near her arm, as if he was going to grab her. Only to stop suddenly.

"...You really did miss me."

Sam bit her lip, and she refused to reply. She picked up speed, continuing to walk quickly towards the iron gates of the Amity Park Cemetery. It was still so hard to believe...only weeks prior, she watched Danny be buried in his final spot. The last place she truly saw him, the real him.

Sam shivered as she felt the faintest ice cold air gently hit her back, and the forced breathing became very audible to her. Not this...thing that kept following her.

Tucker's car was already parked in the lot, but he wasn't there. Sam didn't bother breaking her stride, going up to the gate and just pushing it open to slip inside. She made her way through the rows and rows of headstones, absentmindedly taking note of the odder names of those buried anywhere from hundreds of years ago to barely a week ago.

The cemetery was sorrowfully beautiful, always so well landscaped and made for the perfect spooky setting. The woods that sat just behind it held fond memories of her and her friends exploring them as kids. The leaves were becoming bare as autumn had continued, leaving scarce to the imagination of what was hidden there. Danny used to tell them that the woods were haunted and full of ghosts when they were little. Of course, Sam believed him. He was from the ghost hunter family after all, and even though Jazz had always scowled and insisted at the time ghosts didn't exist, the irony of those memories made Sam smile sadly. A painful ache and the cold that followed her made her, despite all the wonderful memories they made for her, silently wish that ghosts were truly just a myth.

As Sam walked deeper into the cemetery, she saw the familiar outline of her best friend sitting next to a headstone. Relief washed over her at knowing that she would not be alone much longer, and she broke into a jog towards him. Tucker paid her no mind, staring at the headstone: DANIEL JAMES FENTON, BELOVED SON AND BROTHER. He was muttering softly to it, and she could tell that he had been crying. He also clutched some tissues in a shaking hand. To her relief, he had heeded the warning she gave him when they were agreeing to meet up. He, too, was wearing a specter deflector.

"Hey Tucker," she greeted him quietly. Sam set the plant next to him before she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. She squeezed him tightly, resting her cheek on the top of his head as she felt his arm grab her arm to squeeze. Sam stared at the headstone with him as they fell into silence.

The trio was back together again.

Sam gave a deep shaky sigh. She could feel him nearby. A rush of cold air passed her, and she shook a bit. Her arms wrapped tighter around Tucker in light fear before letting go to sit next to him. She dug through her backpack to pull out the shovel.

Tucker said nothing as Sam dug a small hole next to the headstone. With an expert ease, she replanted the mint into the ground. Pushing the dirt around it and patting it down, she spoke quietly to the plant. About how lovely he was, that she knew he was dormant now but that come spring he'd be so handsome. In her mind, she already had named him. His name was Dean. The name Danny always brought up wanting to name any son they'd have in the future. A name she always jokingly teased him for, because she honestly loved the name too.

"So, wanna give me the deets on what's been going on?" Tucker finally spoke up when Sam had shifted to sit back next to her. Sam said nothing for a moment, staring at the plant. He took her hand, and she finally began to talk.

With every word, Tucker got noticeably more and more disturbed at what she had to say. His grip on her hand would tighten as she recounted her night of horror. She tried to focus on Tucker, but she could still...god that watched feeling. Sam knew it was an icy hot glare of anger as she told the story. As she neared the end of her explanation, she could see Tucker violently shiver with her as an unbearably cold and unnatural wind hit them.

"Sammy," his voice finally spoke up, and she saw Tucker freeze upon hearing it. He didn't have to say it. She could see the look plastered on his face to know that the mere voice was terrible to him as well. His hold on her hand was firm.

Again, her free hand went to her hip to make sure the precious specter deflector was on. It was. Cold breath blew against her cheek, but she kept her focus on Tucker. His face paled, and she could see his eyes widen. She knew why. This thing made itself visible to them, and she could see out of the corner of her eye his hand. It moved as if he was going to cup her cheek, but keeping his distance for his own safety.

"The gang's back together," he said, and Sam almost felt bad at how...happy he sounded. She turned to glare at him as she let go of Tucker. She shifted to stand up.

"No, the gang is not," she replied coldly. Those red eyes darkened at her. "The gang involves Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, and Danny Fenton. You are not Danny Fenton."

"Why are you so angry at me?" he frowned. "Sam, I love you. You love me, remember?"

"No I don't!" Sam snapped. Tucker got to his feet as well. "I loved Danny Fenton! You're not him! You're somebody entirely different! Something that won't leave me alone! That's obsessed! You need to go away! I don't love you because you're not Danny Fenton!

A deep, angry chattering noise and it moved a few feet back in an angry jerk. His eyes glared at them both, glowing brighter and brighter as he raised his fists.

"Is this the fucking thanks I get for saving you all these years!?" the voice shrieked with a soul piercing tone that struck immediate fear into her core. The haunting echo was bad, and it only amplified the terror. "I fucking died to protect this ungrateful town! I did everything to be a good boyfriend and friend! I love you, Sammy! I died doing what I could to protect you, to make sure no ghost ever came to harm you, and I'll be damned if I be forced to leave you again!"

"Dude, you need to leave her alone!" Tucker shouted, scrambling to stand closer to Sam. He grabbed her hand again protectively, half-standing in front of her. "You were Danny Fenton once, but not anymore! You gotta go!"

"Tucker, you better fucking move before I end you!" it snarled.

"No!"

A blast hit the ground two feet in front of them, causing them both to fumble back in fear. Sam's free hand grasped the back of Tucker's shirt. This was the first time this...this thing actively used an attack against her. She could tell that it was a warning shot, but it was still so close. She could smell the grass as it smoldered from the blast. He was escalating. Fast. She swallowed hard, and she lightly pushed Tucker to the side so she could properly face her spectral stalker.

"You're not Danny Fenton!" Sam screamed. "Danny Fenton would never hurt his best friends!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" The figure slapped his hands over his ears, closing his eyes tightly and roared in anger. "I AM Danny Fenton!"

"NO! YOU! AREN'T!" Sam stomped her foot with every scream as her hand ripped out of Tuckers so she could fling her arms wildly to emphasis. His eyes snapped open and gave her the coldest look she had ever received. Her knees nearly buckled.

"I'll prove it," he hissed.

The figure shot into the ground, and Sam's heart continued to race as she stared. It wasn't over. It couldn't be over. It couldn't be the end.

A hand shot out of the ground, akin to the start of a cliche zombie movie. Sam felt all the color drain from her face as she grew so, so cold. Soon, an entire body began to emerge from the ground, along with a horrific smell that instantly hit her. Despite having never truly smelled it before, Sam had a very good guess as to what it was. Death.

"Oh god," Tucker's voice came out in barely a whisper of horror. She felt him wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him as a hand clamped over her eyes before she could truly see anything. Sam was too numb to stop him, and she didn't want to. Sam could feel Tucker shake as he clung to her tightly. "Sam, don't look."

Sam could hear an odd rattling and lots of cracking, with terrible groaning and wheezing. The smell was overwhelming. She fumbled a bit as Tucker took a step back, but she was quickly able to walk back with him. Her best friend's breathing was short and fast. Nearly a panic attack.

"...Is it bad?" she dared herself to ask. Her fingers began to cling to his shirt. Tucker swallowed hard.

"...Just keep your eyes closed," he practically begged. He took another step back, and Sam fumbled to follow. That smell was either getting closer, or it was getting immensely worse. Either could be true. Sam felt Tucker's breath on her ear, as he desperately whispered, "Sam, reach into my pocket and pull out the thermos. Trap this thing."

Sam's hands immediately began to pat Tucker down blindly. She soon was able to locate his pocket, feeling the familiar metal container. Grabbing it, she pulled it out and uncapped it with shaky hands. Straight ahead, she heard angry, breathless groans. Something came towards them. She could feel the grass and leaves being trampled. Tucker forced them both to take another step back.

"Sam!" Tucker's voice was full of panic.

Sam fumbled with the thermos, letting the cap fall to the ground as she held it up. Tucker's hold on her loosened so she could properly aim, but she was still aiming blindly. She pressed the single button of the thermos, and the familiar jerk of the invention working. Her ears strained for the familiar noise of a ghost being sucked in. Their angry screams, the invention powering down. But none of it came. It just kept going, and Sam gestured the invention around. Maybe she wasn't aiming right.

"It's not working!" Tucker seemed more panicked, and it caused Sam's heart to thud hard. "It's not sucking him in!"

But it worked on ghosts...and Danny was a ghost...It never worked on him when he was in his human form but he was a full-Oh god.

Part of her had already guessed, but the subtly confirmed reality petrified her. Her free hand grabbed Tucker's shirt, grasping it tightly in her first.

"What do we do?" she asked. Tucker made them step back once more.

"Stay BACK!" Tucker barked, causing Sam to jump. In her ear, he whispered, "Do you have anything?" Sam perked up.

"Yes!" she replied eagerly. She pulled her skirt up a bit to grab the blaster, and she handed it to Tucker. He accepted it.

"I have the Fenton Fisher in my glove box and some towels and blankets in the trunk," Tucker told her quietly. "Please get them."

Sam felt him turn her around, and he took his hand off her eyes. She blinked as she faced the parking lot, her vision adjusting to being able to see again. Tucker's hand slipped into hers, giving her his set of keys. She glanced down at them, and she clutched them tightly in her hand.

"Don't look back at us," Tucker told her. His voice soon became distressed, but angry. "I told you to stay BACK!"

An angry wheezing and stomps on the leaves, more horrible cracking and snapping. Sam didn't stick around, and she quickly made her way to the parking lot. Her mind raced as she half-jogged down the path to the gate of the cemetery. She quickly opened it and slipped out, hurrying to Tucker's car. She retrieved the Fenton Fisher and opened the truck. She draped a large, worn blanket over her arm before shutting the car and locking it.

She heard the blaster fire. She snapped her attention to the hill in worry. There was no screaming or noises from Tucker or...him, that she could hear. Sam quickly raced her way back up towards her friend.

Tucker glanced behind him as Sam approached, and he motioned for her to come as he shifted to be in the way. So she couldn't see. And she kept it that way, primarily watching the ground as she stepped forward. While she rationally knew what was there, pretending that she didn't made her feel better.

She looked up to watch Tucker as he grabbed the Fenton Fisher from her. He handed her the blaster, and she traded with him. His other hand grabbed the blanket, and he began to walk away from her towards the figure. He tossed the blanket onto the figure, covering his face and upper body.

For the first time, Sam let herself look, and she felt sick. The figure was not in the jumpsuit as she tried to convince herself. Instead he sported the dark gray suit that they had buried her boyfriend in. The skin of the hands was a sickly and bruised color, the fingers distorted as they jerked to try and remove the cover. The corpse moved slowly and with that sickening cracking accompanying every gesture as the figure overshadowing it forced activity despite the rigor mortis. It had stupidly trapped itself, stubbornly refusing to leave to save itself. Thankfully it allowed Tucker to quickly wrap it in the Fenton Fisher before it could do anything.

Once wrapped, Tucker tied it off the best he could. He took a step back, unraveling the line a bit. They both stared silently at the figure as it continued to move and crack. To Sam's relief, when Tucker wrapped the line around him, he unintentionally made it to where the blanket wouldn't slide off. Sam didn't know the extent of Danny's injuries before his death...but based on Tucker's reaction, it wasn't a sight she wanted to see anytime soon.

"We need to get him out," Sam finally spoke up. Tucker stared at her, his eyes occasionally flickering back to the covered form as it jerked violently against him. He kept a firm hold onto the line.

"How?" he questioned.

Sam stared off at the woods, thinking for a moment. She pointed to them.

"I have an idea. Let's go there, more private," she said. Tucker glanced behind him to where she pointed, and he shot her an odd look, but complied.

He made a clicking noise, tugging on the pole. The form reluctantly took a step forward, the cracking making Sam's stomach churn. She reluctantly turned her belt off, and she got behind the figure to give it a push. It would be a slow process to get to the woods.

#danny phantom #tucker foley #sam manson #ectober #ectoberweek19 #phics #my phics #october nights

[jewish-privilege]

...Constantin was ultimately the youngest of thousands of children taken from their parents under a policy that was meant to deter families hoping to immigrate to the United States. It began nearly a year before the administration would acknowledge it publicly in May 2018, and the total number of those affected is still unknown. The government still has not told the Mutus why their son was taken from them, and officials from the Department of Homeland Security declined to comment for this story.

In Constantin’s case, it would be months before his parents saw him again. Before then, his father would be sent for psychiatric evaluation in a Texas immigration detention center because he couldn’t stop crying; his mother would be hospitalized with hypertension from stress. Constantin would become attached to a middle-class American family, having spent the majority of his life in their tri-level house on a tree-lined street in rural Michigan, and then be sent home.

Now more than a year and a half old, the baby still can’t walk on his own, and has not spoken.

Though the vast majority of families streaming across the border from Mexico in recent months have come from Central America, running from poverty, drought and violence, the Mutus came from much further away — Romania, where a small but steady number of asylum seekers fleeing ethnic persecution have for years made their way to the United States.

As children growing up in their small hillside village, Vasile and Florentina Mutu helped their parents beg for money for food. They are members of the Roma minority group, which originated in India. In Romania, the Roma were enslaved for more than 500 years. Violent attacks against them persist throughout Europe. Exclusion from schools, jobs and social services is commonplace, and human rights groups have documented the practice of forced sterilizations.

A decade or so ago, as the Mutus recall, the first Roma family from their village announced that they were leaving for the United States. Word made its way back that the family had found great success — their children learned to speak perfect English, and they had become rich, though it wasn’t clear how. Over the years, more than a dozen other families followed, including Florentina’s older brother, who left a few years ago with his wife and three children. He had posted pictures on Facebook of palm trees, luxury car dealerships and American cash.

By the time their fifth child was born, the Mutus had settled into a system where they raised money elsewhere in Europe, begging and doing menial work, then came back for a few weeks at a time to Romania, where the money stretched further. They had occasional run-ins with police. Once, Mr. Mutu said, he was arrested for stealing cable from a construction site.

Though most of their children had been born at home, Constantin had to be delivered by C-section. Vasile sold two pigs and a cow to pay a doctor to do the procedure. In a haze of pain while she was in labor, Florentina signed documents that she couldn’t read. When she returned to the hospital for an appointment to check on her recovery, a hospital employee told her that the doctor had also performed a tubal ligation. She and her husband had planned to have more children, as is traditional in their culture. They were devastated.

Soon after, in between middle-of-the-night feedings of Constantin and while the rest of their children slept, Vasile and Florentina formed a plan: They would try to seek asylum in the United States with their two youngest children and send for the others when they were settled.

...Constantin was placed with a foster family in Michigan while Ms. Acevedo worked to connect with his parents. She got a phone number for his mother in Romania and made a video call during what was the middle of the night there. A disheveled woman answered, sitting in darkness, looking like she had just been woken up. She spoke frantically, but Ms. Acevedo couldn’t understand, so she pulled up Google Translate on her computer and typed a message about Constantin in English, which she then played in Romanian.

Florentina Mutu started to sob. She repeated her full maiden name, which was listed on Constantin’s birth certificate, over and over. “She said it like 20 times,” Ms. Acevedo said “She said, ‘Florentina Ramona Patu,’ and I said ‘Yes, yes, yes.’ I just wanted her to know that he was somewhere. He wasn’t lost or disappeared or something. I wanted her to know that he was with people.”

...Two months into his detention, an immigration officer came to Mr. Mutu with an offer. As he understood it, if he gave up his claim for asylum, he would be deported back to Romania with Constantin. He agreed, and on June 3, 2018, he was released from his cell and loaded into a van.

He looked everywhere for Constantin and asked the officers where his son was, but was not given a clear answer. At the airport, he refused to board without the baby. The immigration officers, he said, told him that Constantin would be handed to him once he had taken his seat. But the plane lifted off and the baby never came.

When Mr. Mutu arrived home, it felt more like walking into a funeral than a celebration.

...The baby’s foster mother meticulously documented his developments for Ms. Mutu, keeping in mind how hard it would be to miss moments like when he first scooted across the living room floor or developed the belly laugh that shook his whole body. “He would do new sounds or something, and they only do it for a short amount of time, and so you want his mom to be able to hear that,” she said. “And she always wondered if he had teeth yet, and so when he would smile, you could see. So I just wanted her to see that.”

She poured herself into caring for Constantin while she struggled to fathom how he had come into their home. “I can’t imagine being the person who grabs a hold of a child and takes them. I don’t know where you have to go in yourself to be able to do that job,” she said. “If we were in that situation, I would want someone to take care of my child. I would want them in a home, in a bed. I would want someone asking them, ‘What snack do you want before you go to bed at night? Do you want a pink toothbrush or a green toothbrush?’” she said. “Or rocking them in the middle of the night, helping them go back to bed when they have bad dreams.”

Constantin was still in diapers when he appeared in federal immigration court in Detroit, four months to the day after he had arrived in Michigan, on June 14, 2018. During the five-minute proceeding, he babbled on his foster mother’s lap as she sat on the defendant’s bench. His pro bono legal representative requested that he be returned to Romania as soon as possible at government expense.

A lawyer for the Department of Homeland Security argued against the request, stating that as an “arriving alien,” Constantin was not eligible for such help. The judge quickly ruled against her, questioning the idea “that the respondent should be responsible for making his own way back to Romania as an 8-month-old.” The judge granted the request made on behalf of Constantin, giving the government three months to either appeal or send him home.

...When Florentina and Constantin were reunited after five months of separation, he wanted his foster mother. 

...The Mutus, who are pursuing a claim for damages against the United States, are back in the village where they grew up, crammed temporarily into a small house they share with another family — one bathroom with no shower shared among 11 people. They bathe with cups of water warmed on the stove and keep their clothes in an attic, climbing a rickety ladder every few days in order to change them.

Constantin has acclimated slowly. He’s sensitive to loud noises, and crowds make him cry, which is a problem, says his mother, because both are part of Roma culture. “He is not the same as he would be if we had raised him,” she said.

At 18 months old, he still can’t walk without holding onto someone’s hand. He babbles and squeals, but as far as words go, she said, “He says absolutely nothing.”

After Constantin’s return to Romania, his foster parents took two months off from fostering to adjust to him being gone. Ms. Acevedo quit her job after all of the separated children on her caseload were reunited with their parents. “I just couldn’t get over it,” she said. “So if I couldn’t get over it, imagine the kids.”

...Both of the parents still dream out loud about returning to the United States. “I’d have to get to Canada,” Mr. Mutu said recently. ”From Canada, I could take a taxi to America, and pay seven or eight or ten thousand dollars to prepare the documents that I would need.”

Ms. Mutu’s brother, who has since returned from Florida, said he thinks they are deluded. He hated the United States, he said; it was full of struggling immigrants and other poor people. By then, he had admitted to them that he had ended up in a cramped, three-bedroom apartment shared with several other families, struggling to make the rent. The only food he could afford to eat, he said, was worse than what they had in Romania. “The laws are very strict there,” he said. “You can’t even beg there.”

“That’s not true,” Vasile Mutu shot back at the idea later. He had grown up looking at Americans — on television and now on social media — and saw their privilege not only in the way they dressed, but also how they moved and spoke, and in their expressions. The only poor people in America he saw were the ones who were detained with him at the border, hoping to get in.

#anti rromani racism

[lostsummerdayz]

Sonic The Hedgehog Movie Review

“Blue Blur or Blue Devil, this speedy flick is very ‘Omoshiroi~!’ indeed!”

By Nay Holland

The Sonic The Hedgehog movie had quite the hype and history leading up to its eventual release. It was around this time last year that the general audience saw first hand what Sonic would look like on the big screen. Needless to say, they were not happy with the design choice. Several months later, a new design for Sonic was revealed to greater approval. The slated November 2019 release was pushed back to a February 2020 release due to the resulting backlash.

Sonic’s design was just the cherry on top for most skeptics at the time. Fans of the classic Sonic animated series will remember Jaleel White as the iconic voice for Sonic. Many of said fans wanted him to reprise his role for the feature film. Ultimately, that role fell on Ben Schwartz of Parks & Recreation fame.

Throughout the trailers, the absence of many other iconic characters from the universe wasn’t ignored. Many had thought that Jim Carrey’s role of Eggman Dr. Robotnik would be the only bright spot in this film of uncertainty. The reputation of video game movie adaptations in the past also preceded any major hope savvy fans would have as well.

However, with the release of Detective Pikachu, I had newfound hope for Sonic The Hedgehog. Detective Pikachu was a movie with an original yet at-times nonsensical plot fueled by star power. Ryan Renolds played the titular character as well as one would expect, though the supporting cast were passable.

Still, compared to the terrible era of horrific fighting video games to movie adaptations earlier on in the decade, Detective Pikachu was a breath of fresh air. It was a fun movie littered with references that fans of Pokemon will catch, yet it was never over-reliant on them. The movie was able to provide its own form of momentum from start to finish. It wasn’t perfect, but it got the job done.

It may seem like I was giving a mini overview on Detective Pikachu, but the same thoughts can be applied to Sonic The Hedgehog as well. It was a fun movie with an original, yet highly nonsensical, plot. I’ll excuse the plot on the grounds that it’s Sonic The Hedgehog. Sonic was never quite known for intricate stories.

I am aware that this game exists, but, this is the exception rather than the rule.

Look who developed the game guys. C’mon.

Whoever was in charge of the script could have watched the entire first season of Sonic X for all I know and based some of their ideas for the film.

My point is, while there is a reason for Sonic to arrive on Planet Earth via his backstory, it’s not the main attraction of the film. The fuel that powers this movie are two dynamics.

The first is the dynamic between Sonic and Tom, the human protagonist of the movie. Remember when I joked about inspiration from Sonic X? The punchline punches itself.

Okay I know I’m not being fair in comparing a kid to a grown police officer but it’s the same energy!

Oh, right. The human sidekick is a police officer from a small town in Montana. Wanna know the name of the town?

Green Hills, Montana! Get it! Green Hill? The introductory zone that will never

Ever

Ever

EVER

Go away in some way shape or form?

I’m not gonna lie I looked it up just to see if such a place exists in Montana. I was sad to discover that was false. Bummer.

Sonic and Tom share most of their screen time together and you have some classic tropes. The “we’re a family!” trope, the “trying to understand someone different than you” trope, and the classic “ROAD TRIP!” trope.

The cliches aren’t bad however. They only seemed to enhance the dynamic that these two characters have with each other. Sonic is filled to the brim and armed to the teeth with pop culture references for centuries. Any reference you can think of is there. 

Several speed puns involving his collection of Flash comics including the movie, Speed, itself? Check. References to The Fast and The Furious? Also check. References to modern gaming such as live streaming and...a certain dance that is honestly dated at this point? Checkmark.

Sonic’s personality is unique to this movie yet key components remain. He’s still very much so impulsive, adventurous, and bold as his other counterparts. One thing I feel the movie does right is his development. He doesn’t know the power of his own strength or his own powers. Sometimes he overestimates his abilities, which leads to trouble for both Sonic and Tom. Other times, he feels out of place and yearning for family. By the end of the movie, however, there are enough seeds planted to promote further growth in the inevitable sequel.

The human protagonist, Tom, was surprisingly as interesting. We’re introduced to his character as a wise-cracking police officer who would fit the role of a cocky protagonist in any other movie. At times he tries to play the straight man to Sonic’s antics, but after a certain part in the movie, he’s not that far from Sonic in terms of impulsiveness.

Marsden, who plays the role of Tom, is no slouch either as he delivers his one-liners, matching the same energy as Sonic. Most importantly, he is able to stand on firm ground with Jim Carrey’s Robotnik. I honestly loved seeing them both on the screen as they tried to show who was the bigger smartass.

Ah! Jim Carrey! The main reason why everyone’s interests were piqued to high levels. This leads into the second dynamic. The man with the master plan! He is the Eggman Doctor.

In trailers and in promotional images, Carrey never looked better. In this movie, it is my honor to say that Carrey looked in rare form. The quirky and zany antics of Dr. Robotnik portrayed by Carrey felt nostalgic, harking back to the days of Liar Liar and The Mask. The hair-triggering jerk reactions, the body language, and the endless amount of quips made Carrey a perfect role for the Egghead. I could literally fill this review with all of his one-liners and dialogue. That’s how subtle yet powerful they were.

Remember when I said that the plot was a tad bit diluted? I’d say that Robotnik’s introduction is where the movie begins to take flight and he’s introduced fairly early. If you look at the movie as an hour and some change of Tom and Jerry style antics, with Robotnik and Sonic respectively, then you’ll get the most mileage out of the film.

Finally I’d like to mention the miscellaneous. The attention to detail to Sonic’s design is amazing, from his fur to his beat-up footwear. The method in which he received his iconic kicks was also adorable.

The special effects were also spot-on. There are two moments in the movie where Sonic is using his speed to get himself out of a disadvantageous situation. In both of these scenes, the rate of speed is exaggerated by a still frame of his surroundings. 

For those familiar with “bullet-time” and “slo mo” effects in video games, these are how the scene plays out. Seeing Sonic manipulate the environment around him only for time to regulate into “normal time” was one of the better touches of the movie from a design standpoint. I honestly wished there were more scenes like that in the movie. 

As mentioned earlier with “Green Hills,” there are several in-universe references as well. I won’t mention them all, but my favorite had to have been the “Hill Top Road” street sign.

This obviously refers to Hill Top Zone from Sonic 2.

There are also references to his moves, from the iconic spin dash, to other niche ones such as his wall kick.

For a ninety-minute movie, Sonic The Hedgehog cuts to the chase, pun intended, with no filler. Post opening credits, every scene in the movie had a purpose for progression. Nothing ever seems to overstay its welcome. 

For a film geared towards the younger audience, it’s enough to keep their attention span with enough content to keep the fans of Sonic in their seats. For the parents of said younger audience, the appearance of Jim Carey in rare form is a treat in itself to see. It’s not a perfect movie, but it is far from the dumpster fire that everyone feared it would be. It is, however, more than good enough to check it out. 

Sonic the Hedgehog is now showing in theaters. This Valentine’s Day weekend, take your Amy Rose out on a movie date and enjoy a fun movie after dinner!

And park your butts in your seats after the credits for a surprise! Don’t leave the theater!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog movie #movie #video game #review

[blackevermore]

T.U.R.T.L.E

[ Taz x Mikey ]

Summary: Mikey feeling that insecurity about not being human and Taz is there so paint him back to himself.

Genre: Wholesome

Warning(s): Slight mention of nudity but that’s it.

Word count: 1,815

A/N: Can I just love him? Like, smother him in kisses and just AHHHHHHH....yeah? I was also inspired by this imagine .

"Michelangelo, did you draw a sun across my chest?" Taz looked around Mikey to the standing mirror beside his bed. There was, in fact, a heavily detailed sun starting from the side of her left breast to the other side of her right. Without looking back towards her boyfriend, she could tell he had a very cocky smile across his face. Proud of his work, he turned his head to look at her reflection, giving a thumbs up. They sat on the floor in front of his bed facing each other, Taz's legs were over Mikey's as she sat in between his legs.

"Babe I'm trying to use my killer art skills to display a wicked symbolism of you being my sunshine," Mikey explained closing his eyes and making a stereotypical Italian gesture. Taz felt the sudden urge to pick up the bottle of red paint next to her and slash it in his face. However, she reframed herself since they would need it for the rest of the session.

Today was Wednesday which means naked art therapy, which meant Mikey's room was completely off-limits, which also meant no one was allowed to bother the couple until they emerged from his room. They started doing this on a whim after an awful mission which left Mikey to feel very much not like himself for a week. No one knew what exactly to do to make Mikey happy. Raph offered to battle him in NBA 2k19 but Mikey turned it down. Leo offered a skateboarding battle with Donnie topping it off with allowing Mikey to order whatever ungodly combination of pizza but he turned those down as well. They all knew it things were terrible when Mikey turns down pizza. Donnie was ready to push the emergency button, but their father put a halt to it quickly. He told them that it wasn't platonic love that needed to reach him, for he always knew he had that, but rather romantic reinsurance. Having friends and family accepting you was strong, but the bound of romantic and intimate acceptance was greater.

With that in mind, Donnie video called April to get her cousin to come over. Taz made it in ten minutes, ran past everyone shouting a single 'hi' and straight to Mikey's room. She had an idea on how to cheer him up.

This was their thing now, it wasn't meant to be sexual, just therapeutic with having them both at their most valuable states. Painting whatever they wanted on each other and talking things out.

"You say that, but I can clearly tell you just wanted to paint my boobs." Taz turned back to the paint tray and dipped a finger into the yellow and booped him on the nose. For a moment, Taz was laughing along with him but then stopped to look him over. Mikey was wearing the disguise bracelet beta that Donnie had invented. Mikey originally didn't suppose to have it, of course, he took it out of pure curiosity. Donnie tried to snatch it back, unsure if the bracelet would actually work or not. There was a high chance it would blow up when Mikey pressed the activation button. Before Donnie could catch up with his much faster brother Mikey had already pushed the button, and a bright white light flashed scanning him from head to toe.

"Oh my god it worked," Don said dumbfounded.

"Bro!! I'm a dude!!" Mikey yelled, causing Raph and Leo to stop sparring and peek their head out of the garage.

Taz could only imagine the happy dance Mikey was for a day straight until the bracelet ran out of juice and he turned back into his turtle self. She didn't mind the disguise, Mikey will always be Mikey no matter what he looked like but she prefered, in more intimate moments like this, he wouldn't use it. This Mikey has human the whole way round. Sun-kissed sun honey brown skin with fields of freckles and birthmarks where his usual turtle spots would be. His tattoos were still there but more prominent. He still had his buff yet slim figure, but his shell was gone, and he also had messy curly shoulder-length hair. His eyes didn't change, which was a blessing because they were already as beautiful as ever. If Mikey was human Taz was sure she would still fall head over hills for the pizza-loving, never so serious, fun-loving turtle-er guy.

She knew why he became insecure at times, he heard the stories from Raph and Leo about their teen years. Since Mikey was the youngest, he had only came out of those years only five years ago. He had a lot of things bottled up that he ever talked about. Even though he was the more emotional brother, he still had his more personal matters. If Mikey could only make one wish for the rest of his life, Taz was sure that it would be to be human and live up top with her. He would totally keep all the cool ninja lifestyle. However, to be able to walk around without getting weird looks or even worse people being afraid of him. Mikey had built up a very tough skin over the years for whatever came his way, but that never stopped his heart from hurting.

This made Taz feel terrible.

Mikey noticed her change in behaviour and stuck a hand up in front of her shaking it back and forth. 

"Baby girl?"

"Mikey, why are you wearing that?"

"Wearing what? We're both naked, that's the whole point of this babe." Mikey winked and dropped his eyes low then back up. Taz's eyebrows knotted, clearly not amused with the joke (which she would have laughed at any other time).

"Mikey seriously-”

"Babe we're fine, come on we're naked and painting and having a good time."

"Mikey-"

"Now turn around so I can bust out a killer back mural that I've been thinking about. Neon colours always look the best on you if I do say so myself, and I did, I say so myself." Mikey turned to his side and picked up a tray and a few paints as he prepared for his art attack.

"Michelangelo, Michael, Angel!" Taz rose her voice to break his rambling he was trying to distract her with. Even if all his names out of order, it still shook him silent as she gave him a look at told him to shut up and listen. Mikey's smile dropped, and he slowly sat the supplies down. Taz's face softens when she saw the light in Mikey's eyes die down and dull, it broke her heart. Taz took a breath then nodded, she picked up her brush and dipped it into a shade of green that matched Mikey's normal skin tone. She scooted closer than she already was and placed Mikey's hands on her plumped waist. Mikey didn't move and kept his eyes only on Taz's face as she wrote out something across his chest.

"You are Triumphant, Unyielding, Renowned, Talent, Loved, Exuberant. You are a 'T.U.R.T.L.E', and there is nothing wrong with that, there was never anything wrong with you." Taz used her free hand to press the button on the bracelet to deactivate it. Mikey refuses to put up a sign of protest as show his self change back through the reflection of the girl's glasses. He could feel his chest tighten and his breath hitch as Taz moved her hand up his arm then back down to grab his hand and take it in her. 

"You've been spending too much time with Donnie." Mikey cracked a feeble joke relating to the words she used in her acronym. Taz finally gave him that smile he was ever so lucky to be blessed with. He loved nothing more than to see her smile towards him.

"Yeah I have but at least I have a bigger vocabulary to compliment you with." Taz stuck out her tongue then reached up to wrap a hand behind Mikey's neck to pull him down for a kiss. He quickly melted against her lips and pulled her entirely onto his lap with his other hand that was still on her hip. Taz giggled and pulled away from the kiss. 

"Seriously though," Taz fixed her glasses then cleared her throat. "When we are around family and friends, I don't want to see that bracelet on you. When you do that it feels like your hiding from me." Taz gave him a playful, sad face and poked out her bottom lip.

"Hey, that's my puppy face I use on the other! You can't use that on me." Mikey pulled her down for a kiss and Taz happily gave. After a few more seconds of their small make out, the girl pulled away again and patted his shoulder right above his tattoo.

"Mikey stop trying to distract me, I need to know your answer." Taz wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against his plastron. Forgetting all about the paint on both of their bodies.

"Okay okay, yeah, I promise. It's just...a lot, and I know you already know this but-"

"Hey ya knucklehead, I don't care how many times we'll have this talk, I want you to feel comfortable as you are around me. I know what you long for, but we must embrace and love what we have now." Taz cupped his face and pushed his cheeks together. Mikey bubbled with laughed from his baby girl's attack. He nuzzled into her neck and kissed a small trail up and down.

"I love you. I really didn't know love could feel this good." For a moment, the laughter died down, and the tone of his voice was solemn. Taz closed her eyes and rested her cheek on top of his head.

"I love you too Micky, no more hiding." Mikey nodded and settled into their position until he saw a sudden glow of light. He shifted a bit, not enough to get Taz's attention, but enough to know where the glow was coming from. He could see it was coming from between them from Taz's necklace. He had seen it do that before. It only happens when she got overly excited about something or if she got upset. Of course, he never said anything about it to her in fear that she would panic, but he did wonder why it did that.

For now, Mikey would leave it alone, they already were having their heart to heart. This wasn't about her right now. Mikey smiled and wrapped his arms around Taz and held her tight, earning him a kiss on the head and a soft hum. Taz, on the other hand, was anything but relaxed, her emotions were everywhere. She was telling Mikey to not hide and to be himself, but yet she was hiding as well.

#Orange Soda🧡🥤 #tmnt michelangelo #my angel #tmnt #self ship #self shipping #self insert #s/i #s/i x canon #f/o

[tycoons-official]

Tycoons Off Duty (2017)

Run time: 6-10 minutes

Genre: Reality Show

Status: Ongoing

• 'Tycoons Off Duty' is a video clip series that is uploaded to Tycoons' official YouTube channel, showing their daily lives behind the scenes through raw, minimally edited footage either recorded in third person view or 'vlog style' as Tycoons wanted the viewers to feel like they are a further part of their life. The first vlog was released on the 25th of January, well over 3 weeks after promotions for 'Tycoons The Album' and 'MAFIA' are done.

• These clips show their slow/lazy everyday routines that mostly include watching television on the sofa, playing games and eating snacks together, or occasionally they'd go out to buy groceries, run errands here and there and maybe even greet fans on the side. Most of the time the siblings are even shown bickering, having silly fights and taking care of each other like how normal siblings do, and many people find these antics to be endearing, funny and —for the most part— relatable.

Cooking with Carmen (2017)

Run time: 15-18 minutes

Genre: Cooking Show

Status: Ongoing

• 'Cooking with Carmen' is a video series that stars Carmen cooking dishes and baking desserts of all sorts, whilst also showing off her culinary skills and using them to boost Tycoons' popularity. The series was created upon the fall season when Tyke has to go away to do his annual military service after doing his initial one.

• Carmen isn't as flashy with her 'acrobatics' around the kitchen as other chefs are, but she makes up for it in food presentation, flavor and aesthetic. The company's team also decided to occasionally allow a bit of ASMR to the videos before cueing back in with some soft accompanying music.

• Capos enjoy this series as it shows a different side of Carmen they'd never thought they'd see, being such a bold, sexy, stoic character on stage, and they found it fascinating and endearing. They seem to be highly interested in how Carmen could've become a chef instead of an idol by how talented she is (or, how talented she's made to seem) and made fanfictional 'alternate universes' or 'AU's where Tycoons are running a family-owned cafe with Carmen was the head chef and Tyke was the Barista. Tycoons themselves enjoy reading these fanfiction stories and get shocked or rather amused by how accurate or inaccurate the way their Capos interpret their personalities without even meeting them.

A Talk with Tyke (2017)

Run time: 15-18 minutes

Genre: Talk Show

Status: On Hold

• 'A Talk with Tyke' is a show that stars Tyke as the main host. It is predominantly a talking show that discusses upon several random topics ranging from school bullying to internet dating to socks, accompanied by funny animations and picture scenery inserts that filled the empty space of green screen behind Tyke, that would sometimes cut into view as he made mistakes while talking or if he's laughing too hard and needed a break or if he said something too funny that even the staff had to laugh. The show is often seen as a 'sibling series' to 'Cooking with Carmen' where his sister is mainly starred, and Capos seem to really like the coincidences.

• The show covers on a certain topic, as mentioned before, and at first Tyke starts talking a little more seriously about it but until the half end of the video is when he starts making jokes as funny edited scenes cut in from everywhere else. There have been recent collaborations with Tyke's own sister and other Tycoons Carmen, Stray Kids' Changbin and Woojin, TWICE's Momo and Chaeyoung, and Park Jimin of former group AOA.

• Capos that were also fans of a show called RuPaul's Drag Race often compare this show to one called 'UNHhhh' that features two of it's former contestants for it's comedic use of flashy edited pictures and sound effects, floating words and funny topics. They've dubbed it the 'Korean UNHhhh minus the drag', though again, this is debatable.

Tycoons' Secret Wish (2018)

Run time: 30-45 minutes

Genre: Reality Show

Status: Ongoing

• 'Tycoons' Secret Wish' is a show that stars both members of Tycoons and is about the idols meeting certain fans who have been struggling with familial, social, monetary or internal battles and had friends and/or family members secretly sent ask letters to JYP Entertainment's main building with the special secret wish code, also known as, 'I call upon the Godfather' as well as a proper reason as to why they wanted their friend/family member to join the show and have their idols see them in order to be accepted by the show. The show is meant to promote the idea that idols can help those struggling hard by listening to their concerns and offering moral support from said idols' experience. Being that Tycoons have witnessed and experienced unfair deaths, inequality and a deteriorating hope during their childhood, they are considered well versed in this moral giving concept.

• The series would always start with Tycoons leaving the JYP building and telling the viewers about who their visitee is, what their background is like, whom sent in the ask letter, and why they would need to send in the letter. Then the duo will get in their transport car with one of their managers and go to the location of the visitee and meet them by surprise which comes into the idea of a 'secret wish.'

• Capos enjoy the series and is dubbed by Vogue as one of the best foreign television series to ever grace the TV screens all over the world, however, this is of course debatable. Unfortunately this show was published a couple months before Tyke has to leave for his annual military service after serving his initial one, and had to stay on hold for a couple of weeks so Tyke can come back and rest, and also regrow his hair back.

Tycoons Off Duty

• In a scene from episode 15 of season 1 [by far the most controversial and popular episode to this date] the episode starts off with Carmen greeting the camera with a croaky morning voice ["Good morning Capos, and everyone who's watching this, Tyke's asleep, and I'm Carmen, and together we are Tycoons"] before momentarily setting it down on the kitchen counter, taking what looked to be medicine pills from the kitchen cabinet above her before bringing them, paired with a glass of water, back into the bedroom where Tyke was still sleeping peacefully on their queen-sized bed that they were sharing for the time being. She sets the medicine on the bedside table and proceeds to wake him up, with much convincing and bribing with candies, Tyke soon wakes up and takes the pills that Carmen just took out.

• People of course speculated what those pills could be and on one of their Vlives held not long after this episode aired, Carmen explains to some questioning fans that Tyke does suffer from an illness that needed medication and specified on it being depression. She clarified that she was giving him prescribed medicine given and approved by his psychiatrist and their agency. She even mentions earlier in the Vlive that she already asked permission to their manager about 'breaking the news' to the Capos. [By that she meant telling them about Tyke's depression]

• This ruffled some Korean Capos the wrong way and they began spreading rumors and derogatory comments about Tyke on his and his sister's social media, saying that they should just stop being idols if they had such severe mental problems or if they're just trying to use the illness as a marketing ploy to catch the attention of the public. However the international Capos praised Carmen for being transparent about Tyke's mental illness and Tyke himself for being able to carry out the duties of an idol whilst harboring a mental illness which they presume from other idols' lives and troubles to be extremely demanding physically and mentally.

• By breaking the flawless, perfect image that idols are supposed to uphold, Tycoons both knew that they were going to have to dip into hot waters and apologize whilst also defending themselves by saying that they hope that the media will understand and never forget that music is how Tycoons themselves cope with their internal troubles, and hoped that this terrible and toxic the privilege that fans feel over their idols' personal lives and information will never happen to them or anyone else.

Tycoons' Secret Wish

• In a scene from episode 10 of season 1, Tyke is seen asking his present manager at the time Hyejeong a request to the bathroom while a female fan came into the shot and head locked him, before dragging him towards a room, whilst Hyejeong fought and tried to free the poor idol in the girl's grasp. Carmen darted out of the visitee's room and threw a strong punch at the fan before they were separated by Tycoons' security sent to prevent mobs [or flying sasaengs] and keep the idols safe. The fan seemed to be crazed with awestruckness and love for Tyke as she was giggling and sending kisses towards his direction as he laid on the floor, still shocked and trying to process everything that had just happened.

• Apparently, the fan that had done this to Tyke was a sasaeng and Capos managed to find pictures of the girl at fan signs, concerts, airport arrivals and many more locations, and the visitee felt embarrassed to say that said fan was one of her kpop crazed cousins that originally introduced the visitee to kpop and Tycoons. The girl didn't end up apologizing in her apology nots even though she did say that she regret what she did but hoped to let Tyke notice her next time. [Edit: He didn't SKSKSK]

#tycoons #kpop #kpop duo #kpop oc #pinkocnet #tokyokocnet #kumokcn #kumokocnet #lofi #lofikocnet #woopkocnet #kocsociety

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 2: The Racism of the Conductor’s Baton (Part 2)

FAILURE ARTIST: We don’t get much time to mourn with Dave because the comic flashes to a weird wizard statue. This statue is ZAZZERPAN THE LEARNED. Wizards are another recurring theme in Homestuck. Andrew Hussie once artfully defaced this cheesy book called Wizardology (warning: lots of really offensive humor). Anyway, Rose hates the giant statue and the other wizard paraphernalia her mother collects and believes her mother does this only to spite her. On a platform is a bronzed vacuum (with a place to put alcoholic beverages) that Rose gave her as an ironic present. On the couch there’s a life-sized princess doll that Rose has attached a Cthulhu-type head to. All these things set up Rose’s troubled relationship with her mother. Rose believes her mother is taunting her and Rose taunts her back.

BRIGHT: This scene also establishes that some things (the Cthulhu doll for one) are too big to be captchalogued.

CHEL: Actually, that was noted with the harlequin doll earlier but we forgot to mention that.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose goes to the kitchen. On the fridge is a crude picture of her late cat Jaspers, who turns out to be more than a family pet. There’s more signs of this cold war between mother and daughter on the fridge.

CHEL: Also, numerous liquor bottles in the kitchen and comically exaggerated displays of wealth, such as a fifteen-thousand-dollar picture frame.

FAILURE ARTIST: After fussing with the fridge, Rose tries to leave the kitchen only to run into her mother. She tries escaping but lands comically in some wizard statuettes.

CHEL: Mom Lalonde is mopping the floor, with no water in the bucket, holding a martini in her other hand. The woman clearly has a problem. Again, this is an issue with the portrayal of the parents; this is pretty funny, but were a real mother behaving this way, it would seriously mess up the kid, and whether we’re supposed to take it as Rule of Funny or not later becomes inconsistent.

BRIGHT: I think a lot of the humour here is supposed to come from the implication that Mom Lalonde actually is a loving if clueless (and drunk) parent, and Rose is reading her badly. On the other hand, something is clearly very wrong, and while Mom Lalonde may indeed be loving the situation is definitely having an impact on Rose.

TIER: Say whatever you want, but when putting on the late game Cerebus Retcon goggles there are probably non-humorous questions to be asked about how screwy Mom Lalonde is as a parental unit if her daughter has ended up interpreting most of her actions as mocking or backhanded towards herself. Like, kids don't just decide that.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 3

CHEL: Back to Dave, he’s chatting with GG and they’re being adorable. GG comments about her birthday present to John, the green box we saw in the car earlier, and…

GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know!

I think here is when we start to get inklings of the kids’ unusual abilities - I mean, unusual in the context of the weird world they live in. A bit more is established about GG’s home life and Dave’s attitudes, too:

GG: i have to feed bec which is always a bit of an undertaking TG: man TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off GG: heheheh! GG: i dont think i could if i tried!!! TG: yeah TG: say hi to your grand dad for me too ok GG: ._. GG: yes i guess an encounter with him is almost certain GG: it is usually........ GG: intense!!! TG: well yeah isnt it always with family TG: but he sounds like a total badass

“Intense” in a world where attacking your father with a hammer isn’t worthy of comment sounds worrying. We’ll see how that goes.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has the tiniest of smiles here and in Hussie’s annotation he says that one pixel created Dave/GG. Whether or not their connection is romantic, Dave obviously feels great affection for her.

CHEL: Interactions between all four of the kids are really sweet, honestly. Dialogue and character interactions are one of the strongest points of the comic overall. Personally I have a soft spot for the OT4.

TIER: In my unprofessional opinion, the beta humans are by far the most functioning and tight knit group of the various groups within the comic, for what that's worth considering the overall dysfunction junction. They're sweet to one another is what I'm saying.

CHEL: Dave talks to John, who mentions the creepy trails around his house and how he thinks he’s seen monsters, which we the audience have definitely seen; creepy little black imps with fangs and, oddly, jester outfits. They bear a striking resemblance to the Wayward Vagabond, in fact. Dave makes fun, but at least pretends not to disbelieve him, and urges him to keep his hammer at the ready. Dave can’t find his Bro, but can find “Lil Cal”, implying Bro is nearby.

TG: lil cal is the shit EB: that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that's all i'm saying. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 5

Would a non-white rapping ventriloquist be any cooler? I’m struggling to see how. Ventriloquism, by definition, sucks the cool out of any other aspect of the thing. And now I’m picturing Carlton from Fresh Prince trying to rap with a ventriloquist’s doll.

BRIGHT: Back at the Lalonde residence, Rose attempts to ‘Youth Roll’ out of the front door, but her escape route is blocked by her mother, who appears with martini glass in hand. Time for our second Strife of the comic! (And can I say that I really like the music for this one?)

As with John’s strife with his dad, this strife tells us a lot about Rose’s relationship with her mother. John had the AGGRIEVE and ABJURE options; Rose also gets AGGRESS (PASSIVE) and ABSTAIN. It’s pretty telling that one of these options is an EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT, and ‘Abstain’ has Rose fending off her mother’s insistent offer of the martini glass.

FAILURE ARTIST: I liked the EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT at the time but now I think it deserves an ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

BRIGHT: Mom Lalonde may be intended as loving-but-clueless, but she’s offering her thirteen year old daughter alcohol, over Rose’s protests, and something is clearly very wrong if suicide threats are a normal part of life. (Something similar will come up in the future, but in that context it isn’t played for laughs.)

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 4

On a lighter note, ‘Abjure’ has her mother offering her A BEAUTIFUL PONY. Rose reacts in the moment like this is terrible, but does later pat the pony’s nose.

At any rate, the strife ends when Mom Lalonde apparently gets bored and decides to do some dusting. This takes all the fun out of using the front door, so Rose goes around the back to make her break for the generator.

Meanwhile, John is trying to read up on weaponizing sylladexes (sylladices?), but is being nagged by a voice to turn around — which he finally does, just in time for a monster to ram into him so hard it turns the panel pixelated. Strife time!

John’s bout with the Shale Imp kicks off with the monster threatening the Con Air bunny. John’s efforts to defend it are intercut with Rose’s progress out of the house and through the rain to the mausoleum. I think this interplay works quite nicely — it keeps both things moving without letting the reader get impatient -- but your mileage may vary.

The imp aggravates John by punching the bunny in the belly and waving it at him. John attacks the imp and breaks his hammer, then attacks it with the handle and gets knocked flat. Finally he weaponises his sylladex and chucks his inventory at it until it explodes into a shower of grist.

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX!!!!!! Now why couldn’t he put the bunny back in the box?

Because he’d set it as his strifekind, it turns out.

In true video game style, defeating the imp causes John to level up! In Homestuck, this is done by ascending one’s echeladder, a series of player levels with whimsical, old-fashioned names. John climbs two rungs, from Greentike to Plucky Tot, and earns 125 Boondollars.

Note how efficient this is: In one panel we can see that the echeladder is a levelling system, that Boondollars are in-Game currency, and that levelling up has increased John’s amount of grist and how much of it he can carry. He’s also got a new kind of grist called ‘Shale’. Hussie does take an extra panel to clarify the grist capacity expansion, but that makes sense as it’s a small part of the original panel. Compare this to the dozens of panels we’ve had laying out how sylladexes work. These panels are much more information-dense, and the comic flows better for it.

CHEL: Exactly what “grist” is and what it does beyond allowing changes to the house, why those changes are needed, and what “boondollars” are for hasn’t been explained yet, but will be soon, and it’s clear they’re something to do with the game so it’s not outright confusing.

BRIGHT: John spends the next few panels sorting his strife specibus out, and stashes the bunny in there for safekeeping. There’s something amiss, but he can’t quite put his finger on it...

Meanwhile, Rose has reached the mausoleum and prepares to activate the generator. The taxidermied corpse of her beloved pet lies in state, dressed in a tiny suit. A sad fate for an animal who should have peacefully decomposed in a flowerbed. Rose kicks it off the pedestal to make room for the laptop.

John discovers what’s wrong when a bucket of water perched atop his door lands on his head. The culprit behind this sudden dousing?

"[S] WHAT THIS IS SO OUTRAGEOUS (HD)" (Watch on YouTube)

Apparently the sprite has a sense of humour.

Next up is a pesterlog between Rose and Dave. There are hints that all is not well in the Strider residence.

TG: hey TG: dont tell john this but i think he might have been right about the puppets TG: theyre sort of starting to freak me out a little TT: You're referring to your brother's collection? TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever TG: or semi-semi ironic TG: man i dont even know TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up TT: I've seen his websites. TT: I like them. TG: haha yeah well YOU WOULD TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that TG: with those dead eyes jesus TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

Well, not so much hints as flashing neon signs. Dave’s gone very quickly from insisting that everything his brother does is cool and Lil Cal is awesome, to admitting that he has nightmares about Lil Cal and is freaked out by his brother’s ‘semi-ironic puppet thing’. We don’t know much about Bro’s websites yet, but we do know that Rose has a morbid streak, and Dave is clearly disturbed by the content.

Dave leaves to find his brother’s copy of the game, and we return to John, who, to quote Rose, has ‘just had a bucket of water dumped on his head by the ghost of his dead grandmother, who also happens to be dressed like a clown.’

And yes, that is indeed John’s dead Nanna, returned to help him on his journey through The Medium and beyond -- or at least, she claims she is. John has to take her word for it, as he doesn’t remember her at all. According to his Dad, John was pretty young when she died. Speaking of his Dad, he’s been kidnapped by the forces invading John’s home.

Nannasprite gives John the background of the game and what’s going on. His house is now in the Medium. This place was created by the game software, but is physically independent of it -- and no, he’s not inside a computer. The Medium floats in the Incipisphere, a place outside the normal flow of time in the kids’ universe. Above the Medium is the realm of Skaia.

According to Nannasprite:

Legend holds that Skaia exists as a dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential. What does this mean, you ask? I'm afraid my lips are sealed about that, dear! Hoo hoo!

Nannasprite is somewhat like a tutorial assistant for the game -- she helps guide John and provides information, although she’s somewhat cryptic.

We are getting a lot of new words here, but Hussie is defining them pretty well as we go, so I don’t think it merits a point.

At any rate, Skaia is defended by the forces of light, while forces of darkness plot its destruction. These two forces exist in an endless stalemate on a stage at the centre of Skaia until a player with a prototyped Kernelsprite enters the Medium. Then the prototyped Kernelsprite splits, with one Kernel carrying the prototyping information up to a kingdom basked in light, and another Kernel carrying it down to the kingdom of darkness. Each kingdom has four Spires, and when the Kernel reaches one, it propagates the prototyping information to the kingdom’s forces.

This is why the imps were dressed as jesters: John prototyped his Kernel with the harlequin doll, and whatever the other players prototype with will influence what forms the soldiers take. When the first Kernels reach the spires, the battlefield gets bigger and the war begins for real.

Oh, right -- and the forces of light are always destined to lose.

So what’s the point? Apparently, that’s for John to find out. For now, though, he needs to head towards Skaia, going through the first of seven Gates. The first Gate is situated directly above John’s house, but the others are going to be harder to reach. We now find out what all that Build Grist is for: To get to the Gate, they need to build the house higher to reach it. And then they can rescue John’s Dad, solve the ultimate riddle, and save the Earth from destruction!

...or not.

Nope, according to Nannasprite, Earth is doomed. Done for. Kaput. There is nothing they can do to save it.

John is pretty bummed about this. He isn’t cheered by Nanna’s assurance that he has a much more important purpose than saving the planet, although she fails to elaborate on that point and instead floats off to make cookies.

CHEL: I think here we earn another couple of points.

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 2 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 11 Failing the Turing Test - wherein the character has no reactions whatsoever While the emotional lives of characters should not be described in their every tiny wrinkle, characters must have emotional lives. When someone boos them off a stage, they should experience chagrin. When they fall from a tenth-storey window, they should feel alarm. The writer should not count on dialogue like “Yikes!” to get the point across.

Brief confusion and feeling “bummed out” by the news that one’s entire planet is doomed does not count as an adequate reaction. I’d expect more fear, more concern. As pointed out before, doesn’t John have any friends other than Dave, Rose, and GG? His Dad has friends, wouldn’t he be concerned for them on Dad’s behalf? If nothing else, more curiosity about this “more important” business?

BRIGHT: Now, I could actually buy this in some circumstances — John is a teenager, doesn’t seem to have close connections outside those we see on screen, and he’s been having one hell of a weird day. I wouldn’t be surprised if grasping the scope of destruction was simply beyond him at this point. It’s a lot to take in, and it’s only been a few hours since life went to hell in a handbasket — not to mention, he’s in an active combat zone. There’s a lot going on, and if he was to shove it out of his mind while he dealt with the immediate crisis, I could see that as pretty realistic.

Of course, that would depend on him actually reacting at some later point, when he had a chance to slow down and it could sink in. As it stands...well, if that does happen, we never see it.

CHEL: Does this also count as “Oh, Don’t Mind Him” for the How Not To score?

BRIGHT: I think so, yes.

CHEL: Then here it goes!

HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 12 Oh, Don’t Mind Him - where a character’s problems remain unexplored In real life, people are riddled with chronic problems that are not addressed for long periods of time, if ever. But in fiction, all problems are just the opening chords of a song. If there is a brother who has a problem with alcohol, a child who has lost her dog, or even someone whose car has simply broken down, the reader will worry about those people and expect the author to do something about it.

Technically, this could count for seven billion or so points, minus any people who successfully entered their own game sessions, but we don’t want to get out of hand here and it really only counts as one big problem.

However! I am very fond of this idea in theory. The obvious option would be that the purpose of the game is to save the player’s homeworld. We’ve all seen the “save the homeworld” idea in scifi and fantasy before. Here, the homeworld is beyond saving, but there is another option, and exploring that is the storyline. The forces of light cannot have a traditional victory; the protagonists must find a victory on the terms they have. It’s not a theme one sees often, and I like it.

FAILURE ARTIST: John and the other Beta Kids’ lack of angst of the destruction of their planet doesn’t stick out as much here as it will later when almost everything else is milked for angst.

CHEL: I’m not really sure the planet being destroyed is a great basis for a Rule-of-Funny-based story if that was what he was going for, to be honest. “Billions died, lol!”

#homestuck #let's read homestuck #homestuck meta #homespork #homestuck reread #homestuck review #sporking #literary critique