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#i play other games that are complicated so its fine
inkskinned · 1 year
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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chapter xv - gust & flame
Eris Vanserra x Reader
Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.
Word Count: 4,300+
Warnings: violence, suggestions of sexual assault
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Feyre watched her boys from across their breakfast nook. Nyx was babbling happily in his father’s arms. His wings were now strong enough to reflect his emotions. They flapped lightly when he was happy – like now. They sagged when he was sad or tired. And they folded tight against his back when he was angry. 
Rhys was feeding him patiently as he tried to also read reports that Azriel had dropped off late last night. 
She should’ve known something was going to ruin their peaceful morning. 
The front door being thrown open was so loud that they didn’t even need their fae hearing to catch it. 
Cassian, Feyre and Rhysand both said into each other’s minds, while also sharing a look. Only the giant Illyrian would be so noticeably loud with his entrance. 
They heard every one of his steps as he marched his way towards them. 
To their surprise, Cassian opened the door to show that Azriel had been right on his heels.
���What is it?” Rhys asked seriously, knowing from their expressions alone that something was very wrong. 
“Y/N is gone,” Cassian answered hurriedly. 
“Gone?” Feyre repeated. She and Rhys both stood from their seats. 
Nyx eyes sensed his parent’s tension and whined in his father’s arms, eyes filling with crocodile tears.
“Her room was empty when I went to escort her to her shop this morning,” Cassian explained. “Drawers were left open and her belongings were strewn about. She packed lightly, left almost everything behind.” 
“Her shop hadn’t been opened for the day. Her scent was nowhere to be found there,” Azriel chimed in. 
“We’ve searched all of Velaris,” Cassian added.
Rhys turned his attention to his Spymaster. “Azriel, I thought you had your shadows following her…” 
Azriel bowed his head with shame. “It’s as though she…vanished. She must have cast some sort of cloaking spell.” 
“Brother, can you hear her?” Cassian asked Rhys and then looked to Feyre for help on the matter as well. 
But Rhys shook his head before the question was even finished. “Once she understood our daemati abilities, I believe she created an amulet to block us.” He shrugged, “Evidently, it made her uncomfortable.” 
Cassian cleared his throat and took a step forward. “There’s something else you should know. But you must promise to control yourself.” 
Feyre took their son from her mate. 
Rhysand’s gaze darkened. “What happened?” 
But Cassian stood his ground. “Promise me.” 
“Fine,” Rhys cooly. “I promise.”
“Last night, Nesta told Y/N the truth about Eris.”
Feyre closed her eyes and let out a long, frustrated sigh. 
Nyx let out another whine, earning him a gentle kiss from his mother. 
“Did she tell her about the deal?” Rhys asked. 
Cassian shook his head. 
“But we should assume she still knows – with her ability to find out information the way that she does,” Azriel commented darkly. 
“Does my sister not understand the risk she took?” Feyre asked exasperated. “If something happens to Y/N while she is still within the border of Night Court, the blood oath could finally claim what its owed!” 
But to everyone’s surprise, Rhysand comforted his mate. “Y/N deserved to know the truth, Feyre darling.” 
“She most likely left last night,” Azriel added. “Which means she’s probably halfway to Day Court as we speak.” 
“She wouldn’t try the mountains,” Cassian thought aloud. “Probably stuck to the coast this entire time. Y/N would know that’s the safest route.” 
“Both of you, search the eastern shores,” Rhysand ordered. 
Suddenly, Nesta burst into the room, breathing heavily. “She bought two horses. A stableboy in the city told me she was there late last night and paid him in fine jewelry.” 
The males all shared a look. “If she’s on horseback, she is already in Day Court,” Cassian explained. 
Feyre let out a breath of relief. Fae bonds were specific and rigid things. Rhys had promised Y/N’s safety to Eris as long as she resided in Night Court.
But that didn’t mean Feyre was done worrying about Y/N.
“How do we know she’s heading south?” Nesta challenged. 
“The Mortal Lands are the only home she knows. That is where she will go,” Azriel explained quietly. 
Nesta’s gaze narrowed. “But what if she is going to Eris?” 
Feyre was the one who answered. “I don’t think she is, Nesta.” 
Nesta exhaled, knowing her sister was most likely right. To mortals, the mating bonds of fae felt…overwhelming and somewhat terrifying. All Y/N knew was that Eris felt something toward her, something that she was completely oblivious to. It could all be so confusing.  
“But what do we tell him?” Nesta asked. “What do we tell Eris?”
“We tell him nothing,” Rhysand answered curtly. “At least, not yet. We must search for her first. Otherwise, Eris could possibly lose all reason, and his father will surely be suspicious then.” 
“I’m going with Azriel and Cassian,” Feyre announced. 
“Elain and I will stay with Nyx,” Nesta announced. 
“I will send word to Helion,” Rhysand nodded. “He be wary that we are asking about a mortal. And he will annoy me with far too many questions. But we must risk it.” 
Everyone started to take their leave. 
Feyre slowly handed her son to Nesta. “For what it’s worth, I believe you did the right thing telling her. I just wish you would have come to us first.”
Nesta scoffed. “All of you would have only tried to stop me.” 
And perhaps she was right. 
“Now, go and help them find her.” Nesta nodded towards the front door that her mate and Azriel had just left through. 
But once she was alone with her nephew, Nesta began to wonder: what would they do once they found Y/N? Drag her back to Night Court? Clearly, Y/N had no desire to be here any longer. So, would they force her back? Truly make her a prisoner? 
Cauldron, what must Y/N think of all of them now?
–🍁–🍁–🍁–
One Week Later…
Eris had felt a weight in his stomach that had been making him nauseous for nearly a week now. 
Something wasn’t right. His heart told him it was Y/N. 
Eris noticed his mother’s concerned looks during the few times he’d been in the same room as her.
But his father had been keeping him so busy with last-minute commands that there was no way for Eris to sneak off to the Night Court to check on Y/N or even speak to his mother. 
Now he found himself in a rare moment alone in his chambers. And he couldn’t even find the patience to sit.
Instead, he paced back and forth beside the giant fireplace. 
It was storming outside, a common occurrence in Autumn Court. But as the night went on, the lightning and thunder became more frequent, more aggressive. What was it leading to? 
Eris tried to think of way to sneak off without Beron or his spies noticing. Dare he even risk such a thing when his father seemed hidebound on keeping him close. 
There was a tension beneath his skin, scrapping against bone and muscle. It left him restless. It left him aching. 
Something was coming – whether it was coming for him, Eris did not know. 
But he was pulled form him inner turmoil when a letter appeared out of nowhere and floated down, right before his very eyes. 
Eris swore his heart stopped. 
Surely whatever Rhysand had to say would answer this gnawing feeling Eris could not get rid of. Had Y/N been attacked again? Was she hurt? Had that bastard shadowsinger made her cry again?
Eris held his breath as he opened the letter from the High Lord. 
She knows. She knows who you really are to her. And she ran when she found out. We have been looking for her for a week. She must be cloaking herself. We expect that she is heading for the Mortal Realm. Eris, we need your help. She needs your help. 
Eris swore he saw red. 
Y/N knew. She knew and she ran. Why would she do such a foolish thing? She was safe in the Night Court. 
“Fools,” Eris hissed to himself as he scrunched up the paper in his fist and then lit it aflame, not releasing his grip until it was only ash. 
All of them were fools. 
What had they said o make her flee? She’d built a life for herself in Night Court. And she had abandoned it so swiftly. Was the thought of being his mate so horrific? Did Y/N think all of them would eventually force her to be with him? 
Eris’ mind raced with hundreds of questions. 
He had to join the search – immediately. 
Suddenly, someone knocked on his door. 
“Leave me be!” Eris growled. 
But they knocked again, even harder this time. 
Eris marched to the door, preparing to harm whoever dared disturb him. 
When he threw open the door, one of Beron’s most loyal advisors stood before him.
“What?” Eris hissed. 
“The High Lord requests your presence in the throne room, my lord.” 
“I must decline,” Eris forced the words out. 
To ignore his father’s request was to play a most dangerous game. 
“The High Lord will not except a declination.”
It was a warning. Eris understood that. 
What he was trying to figure out was how much he cared at this moment, when Y/N was treading through the most dangerous territory in the Fae Realms - alone! 
Eris snarled before physically shoving past the advisor so harshly that he almost knocked the male off his feet. 
Eris didn’t wait for his escort as he stomped to the throne room. 
Whatever his father wanted, hopefully it wouldn’t take long. Then Eris could flee and find Y/n. 
——
“Why do you act as if you are scared?” Amren asked Rhysand. 
The letter was sent. 
Soon Eris would know what became of his mate. 
And the Court of Dreams stood in the foyer of the River House, wracked with guilt and worry. 
“I do not fear Eris,” Rhysand corrected. “But you do not understand what this will do to him: to lose one’s mate. I only fear what this will do to him.”
“She isn’t dead,” Nesta corrected him harshly, her arms crossed. 
“We cannot be sure,” Feyre sighed shakily. 
“Y/N is not some weakly!” Nesta defended. “She survived on her own out there years before we ever met her. She’s a Valkyrie.” 
Feyre was wise enough to look guilty. She should’ve never doubted Y/N’s survival. 
“Will he come here? Eris?” Cassian asked. “Or will he go on his own hunt for her?” 
But before anyone could answer, all windows were thrown open. 
And a tornado flew in from outside. 
Rhysand went to stand beside Feyre. Cassian rushed to Nesta, blocking her from any attack. Amren and Azriel unsheathed hidden weapons. 
But no one stood before them. Only wind that roared so loudly, they were all forced to cover their ears.
It screeched so harshly, that all of them fell to their knees in pain. 
“Y/N NEEDS YOUR HELP! SHE IS IN GRAVE DANGER! GO! NOW! TO THE AUTUMN COURT! TO THE FOREST HOUSE!”
–––
Eris hid his surprise when he found that the throne room was filled with courtiers. It was far too late in the night for them to be in attendance. 
Then he caught sight of his three brothers. They all sneered at him, proving that they knew something he did not.
Now Eris understood his father planned to make a spectacle of him if his brothers had dropped their duties just to witness whatever this was. 
Everyone else refused to look him in the eyes as he arrived. They feared him nearly as much as they feared their High Lord. 
The High Lord who sat upon his throne with a wicked smile. 
Eris stepped forward, only stopping until he reached the bottom of the stairs that led to his father. He kneeled, and kneeled deeply. He had been whipped for less. 
It wasn’t until Eris peaked and saw his mother’s expression that he knew something terrible had happened. 
She knew how to school her features in front of Beron. She played her role well, and left nothing for others to be able to decipher. 
Eris rose from his bow. “You wished to see me, High Lord.”
Beron tilted his head to the side as he looked down at his eldest son. “You are in charge of guarding this court’s borders, are you not?”
Eris nodded, “I am, High Lord.” 
“Then why was it I who found a witch wandering through our woods?”
Eris swore his fire blood turned to ice. 
There were other witches in Prythian. It could be someone else. Please, let it be someone – anyone – other than her. 
“Witches are cunning creatures,” Eris began cooly. “It is not surprising that one could pass through Autumn Court undetected.”
Beron seemed amused by his son’s response. 
The High Lord snapped his fingers. 
As if on cue, lightning and thunder struck just a second after. 
And a door behind the throne opened. 
Eris had to stop himself from becoming feral when he saw her. 
Y/N was dripping wet, being dragged by two men as both her hands and feet were secured with iron chains that scrapped across the wooden floors. 
There were bloodied scrapes and cuts across her skin, right alongside dozens of bruises. And Eris could see all of them due to the fact that Y/N was only wearing a sheer, white slip. And it was just as drenched as the rest of her, making it completely transparent and practically exposing her nudity to the entire hall. 
If Eris unclenched the fists at his side, everyone would see that he was trembling with rage. 
The males dragged Y/N until she was also at the bottom of the stairs of Beron’s throne. And half a dozen surrounded her with their weapons drawn, showing that they all saw her as a threat. Then one kicked at the back of Y/N’s legs, forcing her to fall onto her knees and face all of Autumn Court. 
Y/N was now mere feet away from Eris. 
When she finally found the strength to raise her head, she locked eyes with her mate. She schooled her features well, not even slightly looking at Eris with any recognition. But he wondered if it was because she was in so much pain. 
Both nostrils of her nose were still bleeding. The right side of her lip was swollen and split. Her left eye was almost black and bruised. And there was a cut on the right side of her forehead that drew a line of bright red blood down the side of her face. 
Y/N had put up a fight, that much was clear. 
“Do you know what makes a witch powerless?” Beron asked casually. “Iron. Many have forgotten this weakness. But witches are powerless, unable to cast – so long as they are shackled with iron.”  
Eris’ jaw was clenched tightly to stop himself from saying anything at all. 
“Yes, it is been quite some time since I have fallen upon a witch,” Beron continued as he stood from his throne and stepped down. He didn’t stop until he was directly behind Y/N. 
Eris wanted to lunge forward when Beron took Y/N’s wet hair and pulled it behind her, exposing her shoulders and neck. 
Beron hand ghosted over Y/N’s neck and then he roughly gripped her chin from behind her. Y/N winced and closed her eyes. 
Eris could clearly see that she was shaking.
“Our ancestors once kept witches as their slaves. High Lords would use them for coitus rituals, on display for all the court to see. I have heard the power these High Lords felt from it was…euphoric.” 
Beron walked around so that he was in front of Y/N, blocking Eris’ view of her. 
“But this one…has already put up quite the fight. She took out ten of my company before they were able to finally seize her.” 
Beron was bating Eris. That was obvious. Which meant he had to know who Y/N was to him, what she meant. But Eris was still figuring out how. Surely his scent wasn’t on her. He hadn’t see in her weeks. 
Eris didn’t move a muscle and composed his face to remain neutral. But on the inside, a war was raging. His instincts were screaming at him to attack, to protect his mate and rip her far, far away from his treacherous father. 
But that was clearly what Beron wanted. 
And Eris refused to give it to him. Not like this. 
Beron walked around Y/N again until he was behind her. Gripping her right arm, he jerked Y/N to her feet, exposing her entire body that showed through her wet and thin underdress. 
“But she is rather stunning, is she not?” Beron asked as his hand gripped her bottom harshly. 
Y/N hissed and tried to lurch away, but Beron’s other hand choked her neck. 
Eris watched as Y/N’s eyes filled with tears. 
“Perhaps we should renew our ancestors practices,” Beron whispered into Y/N’s ear. 
“Beron, that is enough!”
Everyone’s eyes whipped to their Lady of Autumn. The woman who had become more and more broken the longer she stayed in this court. The woman who submitted to her husband and never spoke out of turn. 
Eris tried to give his mother a warning look, but she wasn’t looking at him. No, she was glaring at her husband. 
But Y/N saw this as a moment of distraction.
She brought Beron’s hand that rested around her neck to her mouth and bit – hard. Until she tasted blood. 
Beron howled in with fury and pain. 
Y/N whipped around and lifted her knee to his groin – despite her ankles being chained. Her strike had the High Lord keeled over. But only for a moment. 
“You stupid bitch!” And Beron backhanded her so hard that Y/N flew to the ground. 
But it got her away from him, and Eris had his window. 
Moving his hands, he gathered a ball of flame and threw it, knocking Beron yards back. When he landed, his head slammed back against the floor. 
But when Beron rose to his feet, he was laughing. “You were always pathetic.” The High Lord immersed his entire body in flames. “Do you really believe you stand a chance against me, boy?” 
Eris said nothing as he drew the sword at his side and it too ignited in flames. 
With the wave of his arm, Beron unleashed a monster from his flames – a dragon, made entirely of fire. It lunged for Eris with its jaw open. 
Now the courtiers wailed in fear, knowing their High Lord cared not for their lives and was more than willing to risk them as collateral damage. 
Eris sliced the fire dragon’s neck with his sword. 
But then a whip of fire wrapped around Eris’ throat, scorching the delicate skin. Out of instinct, he tried to rip it from his throat, which only resulted in burning his hands. 
Beron pulled the whip toward himself, forcing Eris onto his knees. 
“Do you wish to know how I realized that she meant something to you?” Beron spit as he leaned towards his son. 
One of his guards dropped a bundle on the floor to the right of Eris. It was the bow and knife Eris had gifted Y/N. But the thing that surprised Eris was his cloak, the one he had thrown over her shoulders that night he’d found her crying. She had been traveling with it? 
Beron leaned even closer. “Did you truly believe I would not recognize the work of our royal blacksmith?”
Eris roared as he unleashed a wave of his own power, breaking the fire whip his father controlled. It knocked Beron back far enough for Eris to regain his footing. 
Beron cackled as he brushed off the attack. “Tell me, boy. Is she your lover? Or did you plan on using the witch to usurp me?” 
Eris only glared, refusing to feed this taunting with any response. 
Beron stood straighter and opened his arms. “Go on. Try your best.” 
But before Eris could do so, the throne room was thrown into shadow. 
The courtiers wailed in fear:
“I can’t see!” 
“What is happening?” 
A second later the shadows dispersed to reveal that all of Beron’s guards who were guarding the exit had been slaughtered. 
And the High Lord’s evil smirk was finally wiped from his face. 
Eris turned to find Azriel, Cassian, Nesta, Vassa, Jurian, and his youngest brother, Lucien. 
With the understanding that he was no longer alone, Eris had a newfound strength. Even if he fell, they would get Y/N out of here. His life no longer mattered. Eris would either take out his father or distract him long enough to save his mate. 
Eris roared as he sent a wall of flames at Beron. 
Azriel shot for Y/N, taking out any guard that stood between them. When he reached her, his shadows made work of her shackles and broke her free. 
“Can you stand?” He rushed. 
“I can do more than stand,” Y/N growled, and she rushed for the weapons that had been stolen from her. 
She started firing arrow after arrow, killing all the males that had attacked her and dragged her here. 
Then she took in her chaotic surroundings to find Lucien, Vassa, and Jurian holding back the three other Vanserra brothers. Cassian and Nesta were back to back, taking out any soldiers loyal to Beron. Azriel was close to Y/N, covering her back as she had fired off her arrows. 
But then Y/N caught another head of red hair. A beautiful, female High Fae who was throwing flames at anyone that tried to help Beron take on Eris.
His mother. It must have been Eris’ mother. 
All of her allies allowed Y/N to turn her full attention to Eris who was fighting his father with his all power. But he still wasn’t strong enough. Beron was a High Lord and had all the ancient magic of Autumn Court behind him. 
With swipe of both Beron’s hands, a wall of fire smacked into Eris, who didn’t have time to block it. And he was knocked onto his back. 
The sight infuriated Y/N. 
And something deep within her, that she didn’t recognize, rose up to the surface. 
Before she even knew what she was doing, Y/N had sprinted forward and put herself between Eris and Beron. 
“No! Run! Get out of here!” Eris yelled out – no, he begged her – as he struggled to get back to his feet. 
But Y/N ignored him. Because something was taking her over. 
Y/N’s hands reached out to the side. 
She started chanting words that no mortal or fae would ever understand. 
Beron stood and watched, about to laugh at whatever sad attempt this witch had at taking him down. 
But Y/N’s words grew louder, stronger. 
And that’s when the wind rushed into throne room. 
It shattered the every single window with it’s arrival. It caused more screams from the courtiers who failed to flee.
Y/N’s eyes were no longer her own, but covered in white and glowing as if there were two moons.
Her arms raised higher. 
The wind carried the shattered glass from the windows and pelted Beron like tiny they were tiny knives. 
The High Lord underestimated her so much that he hadn’t been prepared to block such an attack.
He hissed in pain as the glass cut across his entire torso. 
But Y/N wasn’t finished. Her chanting turned into a bellow. The words and rhythm had changed into something else. 
In response, the wind now circled around Beron, capturing him in a tornado. But it wasn’t just keeping him in place, it was sucking the air from his lungs as if he was caught in a vacuum. 
Beron gasped for breath, clutching at his neck as if it would help. As he failed, he fell to his knees. 
And while Y/N attacked the High Lord, Eris, Lucien, and their mother had formed a wall behind her, waiting for the moment when Y/N would need backup. 
“NOW!” Eris bellowed. 
Together, the three of them stepped in front of Y/N and heaved fire onto Beron. It all entered the tornado of wind, keeping it contained and concentrated.  
Beron’s cries filled the hall, loud enough to be heard over the wind and tornado. Despite being a wielder of flame himself, it burned him. 
Yet Y/N was growing weaker, she had never tapped into this much power and it was starting to take a toll on her body. 
The other three didn’t see as Y/N’s arms dropped and her eyes rolled back. She collapsed. 
Azriel rushed forward, catching Y/N’s body only a moment before her head could slam to the ground. 
Eris roared as he threw even more fire at his father, stepping even closer to Beron than Lucien and his mother. 
Beron’s skin was scorched to black, half his clothes burnt right from his body. 
Lucien and their mother paused their attack, as Eris marched to his weakened father as he unsheathed a hidden knife. 
Not underestimating Beron or his power, Eris immediately grabbed his father by the neck and pulled him up. 
Eris put his mouth close to his ear and whispered, “Her name is Y/N, and she is my mate.” 
And he drove the knife into his father’s heart. 
Eris then ripped it from Beron’s chest. And with one fluid swing, sliced off Beron’s head completely.
Only mere seconds after the decapitated head hit the floor, raw power filled the throne room. So potent that all fighting ceased. No one could ignore its feeling. 
Beron’s loyal soldiers finally realized their High Lord had been killed. 
And all that power moved to the heir of Autumn. 
The impact of it brought Eris to his knees. He groaned as he felt it take over him entirely and then fell to his hands. 
No one so much as breathed as they saw their new High Lord take over the throne. 
When the power finally stopped transferring, Eris slowly lifted his head. 
His eyes widened. “Y/N!”
And he whipped around to see his mate unconscious and beaten, in the arms of the shadowsinger. 
-----
I have had a really terrible last couple of weeks at work. And then I got really sick, which is how I had time to write this. But most importantly, I worked extremely hard on this chapter. So please, please, please write a comment. Or, as I always say, write me a book report. 🙏
Chapter XVI
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potatobugxo · 25 days
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You know those piano-based rhythm games?
I think Alastor would have a distaste for those - nothing like a real piano and entirely digital cowhfowf
Any chance you could share some headcanons or the like of a friend of his showing him them for the first time?
i made this too silly omg
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🦌❤️piano rhythm games w/Alastor❤️🦌
"hey al check this out!" "hm?" alastor uses his shadows to maneuver over to where your hunched over on the hotel lobby couch, staring at your phone as you had been for the past hour now.
"look," you scoot towards where he's standing, and he peers over your shoulder, squinting at the device's screen between your fingers. "it's a piano game! you like piano, right?"
"my dear, you know i don't dally with this frivolous technology of yours," alastor remarked, standing back upright. "no but its fun," you insist, lifting it back up to his face. "watch." alastor rolls his eyes, smile twitching as he leans back down to study you as you play. your thumbs tapped away at the screen, the neon colors changing as you pressed different keys to match the notes of the song that was playing from the phone's speaker. "hm... interesting, i will say!" alastor admitted. "though nothing like traditional piano, perhaps you should return to your roots, dear-" "here you try," you shove the phone toward him, and his eyes widen. "pardon?" "it's fun, just give it a try," you nod your head in anticipation. alastor would expect such behavior from charlie, yet it was coming from you. "fine," alastor reluctantly agreed with a shrug. "but lets make a deal. i play this silly game, and you agree to play traditional piano with me at least once." "yeah, okay, fair," you shrug. "okay, now try it." you eagerly watch as alastor plucks the device from your hands and takes a seat beside you on the couch. he holds the screen a bit too close to his face, squinting as if he were a grandpa who forgot his glasses. "just tap the keys that flash on the screen," you explain simply, peering over his shoulder at the phone. he starts tapping away at it as the keys flash on screen, precise and unnervingly calculated. "this is such a simple song, with your mind i would expect you to be playing more complicated songs!" alastor exclaimed. "oh no i can, i just put it on an easier level for your first time playing, didn't want this frivolous piano game to be too challenging for your first try," you chuckled, and alastor snapped his neck to look at you, casting an offended glare. you blinked up at him in surprise. "yeah okay or i could, y'know, change it," you suggest, plucking the phone from his hands and tapping away to change the song. alastor flutters his eyelids at you impatiently as you do so. since when did he become so keen on playing a mobile piano game? "here," you pass the phone back to him. "now then," alastor rights himself, grin stretching up and past the corners of his eyes. "let the challenge begin."
~~~
"so uh... did alastor get into one of your drug stashes?" vaggie inquired, cocking brow at angel dust before peering back over at alastor. you and the other hotel staff were baffled at the fact he had been playing the rhythm game for over an hour now, hunched over on the couch staring at the phone like a toddler who had just been introduced to an ipad game. husk and angel are beyond horrified, and charlie had a consistent expression of worry on her face. "um, y/n? what did you do to our hotel host?" she asks. "i just introduced him to a piano game as a joke," you shrug, whisper-yelling. "i didn't realize he would suddenly become addicted to it!" angel slowly raises his phone to start recording the scene and vaggie lowers it with her palm just as fast.
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outsideratheart · 1 year
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Everything I wanted (Leila Ouahabi x Leon!reader)
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A/N: Sequel to Cliche . Warning, it’s another long one. I hope you like it!
The two of you knew what you wanted and you wasn’t going to let anyone stand in the way of that but you knew as soon as you left that room things would get a little bit more complicated. Your team mates would have questions and then there was Mapi. You had the relationship you had waited years for but had it cost you your other relationship you’ve had since birth.
By now you knew most of your friends would be in your room, waiting for you to return but did they expect you to return with Leila. From the other side of the door the two of you could hear them planning your search & rescue.
“What about Mapi?” Leila asks just as you get the room key from your pocket.
“You’ll be fine. It’s me she has a problem with so I’ll deal with her” you explained.
“But that was before I was your girlfriend”
Your eyes widen at the title. It wasn’t that you hated it, you just hadn’t spoken about the two of you having an official relationship.
“Girlfriend?” the uncertainty in your voice was unsettling to say the least.
“Is that not what we are? I thought I made it clear what I wanted”
“I want you Leila”
“But you don’t want to be my girlfriend”
“I do” you lean forward and kiss her gently. There was no need for passion, the act itself was intimate enough.
The way you felt as you swiped the key card is foreign but when you open the door you see the reason why. Everybody’s eyes were on you and although you never talked about how you would tell the team about the development in your relationship you make the change crystal clear when you take Leila’s hand in yours.
“Where have you been?” Lola asks.
“My secret hiding place” you joked but nobody laughed. Maybe you should have told somebody you were still in the building.
When you meet Mapi’s eyes the tension in the room rises and it made everybody feel a little bit awkward. In their eyes your argument had reached its head but you both had so much you wanted to say to each other.
The situation between you and her brought out every emotion in Mapi and it was overwhelming. To you, it doesn’t come as a surprise when she walks past you and towards the door.
“Mapi” she turns to face you “’l’ll come speak to you soon ok?”
“I’ll be in my room”
Your friends stay in your room for a little bit when Lola decides to watch a movie. Just like you had in your apartment, Leila settles into your side. You were waiting for the teasing but it never came because your friends knew that although you watched the film with a smile, the way you felt on the inside would be the opposite and there were right. You wished you never said anything to Mapi because now you had to follow up on your word and you had no idea what you were going to say to her.
When Leila feels you shift to get up she takes her focus off the film. She knows where you’re going and she cannot help but feel bad for the part she played in the arguments you have had with your sister.
“Do you want me to come with you?” she stands up with you.
“No, I need to do this alone” you place a kiss to her temple.
Looks are exchanged between your team mates. They had never seen you so domestic but with Leila it looked like it came so naturally.
As you stood outside Mapi’s door you contemplated walking away and saving the conversation for another day but by now it was already long overdue. Throughout your entire life things had never gotten this bad between the two of you so you had no game plan, no way to know what is the right thing or wrong thing to say.
Mapi opened the door before you knock, almost like she sensed your presence from the other side of the threshold.
“I hate this” she admitted.
It brought you momentary peace knowing that you agreed on at least one thing.
“Are you dating?” The question was simple and you knew the answer but for some reason you hesitated. It was as if you didn’t want to speak in fear of saying the wrong thing so instead you nod your head.
A few days ago Mapi had planned on apologising to you but now she felt you were way past apologies. If only she knew the power the word sorry had and how badly you wanted, no needed, to hear it.
“You’ve never done this before” her words confuse you. Mapi knew that you had never been in a relationship so why was she bringing it up.
“I haven’t but I want to try with her. I really like her Mapi”
“No” Mapi shook her head and once again you feel the negative energy flood the room “you like having sex with Leila and you feel like the only to carry on doing that is to get into a relationship with her”
“That’s not true” you found it hard believing the words you were saying. Earlier on you had no doubt that this is what you wanted but your sister knew you better than you knew yourself so did she know this too.
“It is. Maybe you do want a relationship but you are using Leila as an experiment and I won’t allow it. Do you not see how much this is hurting me, to choose between my sister and my best friend.”
The rage that grows within you is incontrollable. How, after everything that has happened, did Mapi still think she had the right to dictate your love life.
“I did nothing wrong” this you were sure of “Maria I’m not here for you forgiveness and I sure as shit am not here for your permission”
Your voice remains at a reasonable level but inside you are screaming. You are determined not to let your emotions or your sister get the better of you so you leave without saying another word. As you walk down the corridor doubt begins creeping in. Mapi had planted seeds of doubt and it has you questioning whether you were doing the right thing or if you were being selfish.
The pace in which you walked back to you room gave you time to think about your relationship. It was barely 4 hours old and already you were questioning whether or not you made the right decision.
When you enter your room you expect to find Lola but instead you find Leila buried under the duvet scrolling on her phone. You had missed spending the night with her but you know you needed space from her whilst you made sense of the thoughts in your head. You mumble something about getting a quick shower all whilst avoiding eye contact with her but despite your greatest efforts, Leila learned how to see through whatever mask you choose to wear.
As the close to boiling water cleansed your skin you felt your shoulders relaxing and it brought you a brief moment of peace. You cleared your mind of all thoughts and it allowed you to go numb, it was a feeling that you knew would vanish the moment you re entered your bedroom.
"How did it go?" Leila pulls back the corner of the duvet letting you know she wanted you to join her in bed.
With Leila in your arms things felt right which made things that much harder. Why did you have to fall for her?
"I don't know if there's any coming back from this" your heart broke as you admitted the outcome of your conversation.
Again, doubt plagued your mind. Whilst you knew that Leila was special you didn't want to spend your relationship resenting her for the destruction of your bond with Mapi. The fear you felt was real because you knew what you wanted to do and the woman in your arms wouldn't like it and you would be proving your sister right. That been said you saw it as the only option, it was the right thing to do in order to fix your family.
"I love you Y/N but for the next couple minutes I want to pretend that I don't. Speak to me like you would have 6 months ago"
"I have to make a decision between two very important people in my life and no matter which I choose, I will lose. I have you" Leila playfully nudges your side "I mean this girl, she is amazing and has awoken this side of me than I never knew existed. I think I have a real shot of happiness with her"
You could write a list pages long, full of reasons why you wanted to be with Leila and each one gave you the urge to fight for and protect your relationship.
"Then there's Mapi who has been my best friend since the day we were born. She is my sister who, for some reason, sees me as this bad guy that has tainted her friend. In her mind I have already hurt you which if you ask me will happen because I am bound to mess this up at some point but a little faith wouldn't hurt. I am trying to be a good person but it's hard to do that when the person who knows you most in this the world makes you think it's impossible. I'm not asking her to trust me on this but she could at least give me a chance to prove that I am worth your love"
Leila didn't know what to say. Since the day she met the Leon's it was clear that the bond you had was unbreakable yet now it was broken, smashed into pieces, and she didn't know what to do to fix things. It is clear you are torn between her and Mapi but what was she suppose to say, leave me and chose her, no that wasn't going to happen.
"Y/N" Leila looks up but you don't move. It is only when she cups your face and forces you to look at her does she the pain that floods your eyes "you are saying you want her to see you as a good person but you don't believe that yourself but you know what, that's ok because I know it"
It's as if she knows her words aren't enough to persuade so you does the thing that will, she shows you just how much faith she has in you.
"It has been quite the day and I think we've done enough talking" Leila knew a guaranteed way to ease your mind and you wasn't going to stop her, in fact you had been craving her touch since the moment she walked in Los Rojas.
The weeks that followed were exciting and everyday you felt like you did something new. Everybody knew you and Leila were dating so there was no more hiding, you could hold her hand as you walked the streets of Barcelona and take her out on a date which has become one of your favourite things.
Mapi still wasn't talking to you which hurt but there wasn't anything you could do about it. She had made her mind up and you knew better than to fight her on it, the Leon's were known for their stubbornness. Everybody saw the divide between you yet for some reason it didn't affect the team. From what they saw, Mapi was speaking to Leila and Leila was speaking to you so the tension wasn't thick unless you two were in a room together which didn't happen unless it was necessary.
Your mood was great when you were with Leila or your friends but they saw the way you were when you thought nobody was looking. Your look would linger on your sister hoping and praying that she will give you a sign which means you will be ok but it never comes.
Leila tries her hardest to be there for you but the hole left by your sister was too big to fill and with every day that passes she saw the light in your eyes dimmer.
Your birthday got brought up at training and given that you were twins, Mapi's got brought up too. Every year you spent it together no matter what is going on or where you are in the world but Mapi made it clear this year would be different.
"Me and Ingrid are going to Mallorca for a couple of days"
She said it so nonchalantly you wondered if she realised her words felt like knives getting plunged into your heart.
"But we spend every birthday together Maria" It was the first time you had spoken properly since the national time camp.
"I'm going to spend it with my girlfriend. You should do the same, that's if you are still serious about her" Even months later she still questioned your relationship and the level of commitment you were giving Leila.
"Technically I have spent every birthday with Leila for the last 7 years only this she year won't be there as my friend"
"Well I won't be there. Like I said, I have plans" Mapi's voice held no emotion and whilst you think it's because she doesn't care, the truth is it's because once she lets herself feel one emotion then she will feel them all and she isn't ready for that.
"Ok. I hope you have a nice birthday" it was difficult to walk away from her but that's all you seemed to be doing recently.
Alexia follows you out to the training pitch whereas the rest of the girls stay in the canteen. They couldn't believe what they were hearing.
"Do you know what you're doing to her? What you not talking to her is doing? She thinks I don't notice but she isn't sleeping, she hasn't slept through the night since I don't know when. You are her best friend, you broke her heart and no matter how hard I try, only you can put it back together again"
"She slept with you, my best friend and now you're dating even though she doesn't know how to do relationships"
"What if I break up with her?" Leila stands so that she is looking down at your sister.
This catches not just Mapi but the whole room off guard. If one thing has been made clear over the past few weeks its that both of you truly care about each other yet here Leila stands ready to sacrifice her relationship so that you can get the one with your sister back.
"Leila" Patri pulls her arm.
"No. You don't see it or maybe you do but your sister is broken. I like to think I make her happy, no, I know I make her happy. She likes me, loves me, wants me but she needs you so if the only way to make her whole is to let her go then i'll do it"
Leila leaves the room speechless by the extremes she was willing to go to in order to fix Mapi and your's relationship.
You on the other had shot ball after ball into the back of the net. You had no strategy in mind other than to get rid of yourself of the pain Mapi had caused yet again.
"You're losing your power" Alexia teased in attempt to lighten the mood.
"You wasn't saying then when I put three past Atletico at the weekend"
Alexia kicks the ball away from you feet, it was her way of saying extra training is over and you didn't argue with her.
"I did nothing wrong Ale but i'm still getting punished" You sit down. The training session, gym workout and the extra shooting practice is enough to make your legs feel like lead.
Alexia felt your pain. She's would consider herself one of your best friends but she refrained from taking sides on this due to the role she played with in the team but if you were to ask her she would say she's on your side.
"Are you happy with Leila?" Alexia asks even though your actions have already given her the answer.
"I love her Alexia. At first I wasn't sure but i've found it, the thing that everyone talks about and it's her. I have tried to talk myself out of being with her so many times—“
"Don't do that"
"I'm not. I spoke with Leila about how i'm feeling and she told me to trust her decision to be with me so that's what I'm doing"
It was weird hearing you say you've talked about your feelings when for years you kept them bottled up. Alexia was proud and she wished Mapi took the time to see this side of you, the one that is the complete opposite of who you were a year ago.
"I told Leila that I didn't know if there was any coming back from this. Now I know there isn't and I think it's time I move on. Who knows, maybe in a few months or a year she will be ready for us to be sisters again"
"And Leila is worth it?"
"She is. Speaking of Leila I really should go, I’m cooking tonight"
You spent two hours slaving over the stove making the perfect pasta with spicy tomato sauce. It may not have been much but you enjoyed it and you knew Leila did too. It also gave you chance to think, maybe spending your birthday apart from your sister wasn't the worse thing in the world. In fact you planned on doing something similar to her but instead of Mallorca you had your sights set on Ibiza.
When you hear a knock at the door you have an extra pep in your step as you go to answer it. You are so caught up in the night that was only just beginning and the possibility of spending a few days just you and Leila that you don't see the look of devastation on her face. Leila tried to find the right moment to bring it up but it never came. You wouldn't stop talking over dinner and it seemed cruel to do it when you held her tightly in your arms. You had provided her a safe space and she was about to wreck it with a bulldozer.
"I can't wait. You, me, sun, sea, sand and se—“
"I think we should break up"
"What, no, why would we do that?"
Leila lifts her weight off of you and puts as much space between you and her as possible. Tears fall down her face but she makes no effort to wipe them away, she knows it will a waste of time as other will fall in their place.
"I told you I would hurt you" you are adamant that it is your fault, why wouldn't it be, Leila was perfect.
It killed Leila to know you blamed yourself for this when you did nothing wrong. You treated her like a princess, loved her like she was the only woman in the world and made her happier than ever before.
"It's for the best" Leila couldn't tell you the real reason why because then it will ruin any chance of reconciliation you and Mapi have.
"No it's not. I love you Leila and I know that I may not have been the best girlfriend but I am trying my best here just give me a chance, please" you beg for a second chance.
In her eyes Leila was doing the right thing but seeing you so open and vulnerable, it makes her want to take everything back, tell you she made mistake and hold you until both you and her stop crying.
"I wish I could be with you"
"You can be with me Leila"
"I can't bec—“
"Because what!" you didn't mean to raise your voice but you had started to panic. You didn't want to lose Leila and you would do anything to save your relationship.
"Because you need her"
You couldn't believe what you were hearing.
“Who?”
“Mapi”
“I don't understand what I did wrong. If she chose you and you're choosing her, who chooses me?"
"I'm sorry Y/N" Leila kisses your cheek before walking towards your door.
"Don't leave me"
If Leila were to turn around she would see a shell of a woman that greeted her a few hours ago. You wondered if she realised she was making your nightmare, the one that kept you for up for night after night, a reality.
The next day at training something was wrong and the whole team could tell. Leila kept her distance from you and you barely talked the entire session. You didn't stick around afterwards as the team got a coffee and you declined an invite to go out for tea later in the evening. The following morning the team has been called in to go over some game film. You arrived late and the redness of your eyes were unmistakeable, you had been crying. Mapi grew concerned rather quickly and it didn't take long to figure out the cause of your pain. 
“You need to talk to her. Something is wrong” Mapi whispers to Alexia. 
It fuelled the captain with annoyance. Mapi was being so stubborn and it caused her to distance herself from you even though she obviously still scared. 
“You know what is wrong. I hate to say it but this is your fault. She turned up at my apartment two nights ago in tears because Leila broke up with her”
Mapi truly thought Leila was being dramatic and that she was trying to prove a point. Never did she think the defender would go through with it. 
“What am I suppose to do?” Mapi asks. 
“I don’t know Mapi. I think you need to apologise and hope that she is in a forgiving mood” 
Your sister knew that she had messed up but in her eyes she was doing to the right thing. She had never seen you in a relationship before and she hated that the first person you took that step with is a team mate and her best friend. 
The game footage played in the background but your focus was elsewhere. You couldn’t believe Leila had called things off for the sake of your sister and you knew you had every right to be mad at her but you wasn’t, you just wanted your girl back.
When Leila did look at you it only lasted a few seconds, she mouthed I’m sorry then turned her to attention to anything or anyone that wasn’t you. When the first session is over you are the first one to leave. You hated been able to see her, even touch her if you wanted to, yet you couldn’t and it was torture. You take a few seconds to yourself in the hallway as you try to gather your thoughts.
“Whats wrong?” You stoped pacing for only a second when you heard your sister’s voice.
“Nothing. Go away”
You knew that out of everyone Mapi was the one person you couldn’t hide from. It didn’t matter if you were talking or not. In that moment you just wanted a hug from your sister and for her to tell you everything will be ok. If you stopped for a moment to let yourself feel then you wouldn’t be able to control your emotions and the training ground wasn’t the right place for another breakdown. 
“You pace back and forth when you’re thinking and circles when something is wrong. So talk to me?” Mapi stood in front of you, forcing you to stop and look at her although part of her regrets it. As she looks into your eyes she see’s the pain and suffering. It causes guilt to grow in her gut because she knows that even though she didn’t ask for Leila to break up with you, she was the reason it happened.
“Now you want to talk after you’ve ruined everything. You once told me that you can’t wait for me to experience what you have with Ingrid. Well guess what maps, I found it and then it got taken away because instead of being happy for me you were hellbent on making me miserable. So no I won’t talk to you. You ruined the best thing to happen to me”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen”
“What did you expect? You made Leila feel like she was to blame for us not talking when that’s all on you. I tried to be a good person, to be the person Leila deserves and for what? I lost her Mapi” 
Your sister saw, for the first time, just how wrong she had been. You didn’t see Leila as a temporary fix or a trial run at what you thought was happiness. You truly cared for her and there Mapi stands, the reason for your heartbreak.
“Y/N” 
“I can’t do this with you Mapi. I miss you so much but I need space”
“Ok. I’ll go back in and tell them you need ten minutes?” 
It was the first time in long while where you felt your sister on your side.
“5” you correct her.
For the next few days you remained comfortably numb. It was a worrying sight for those around you as it wasn’t just your sadness you hid, you refused to show any emotion whatsoever. Alexia suggested that you take a few days to get your head straight but you refused and given your performance in training, Jona didn’t back the captain on her suggestion. With the El Classico only a few days away he needed you on the pitch and even though he was worried about you, he hoped you carry over whatever you are feeling into the game because he knows there’s nothing worse than when you’re pissed off, it made you untouchable.
So when game day came you stayed to yourself. You put your headphones on when you left the hotel and they didn’t come off until the warms up. It was a different mood to what you normally felt but it was a welcomed feeling. 
“Y/N” you feel someone remove your headphones and you expect to see Alexia standing in front of you.
“Leila” you couldn’t control the smile on your face. She hadn’t uttered a word to you since that night in your apartment.
“Don’t do anything stupid out there” 
You stood up so you are at her level. You glance down at her lips, it was an automatic reflex whenever you were this close to her.
“When have I ever done something stupid?”
“I can name a few but now that I think about it most of them include me” Jenni shouts from across the locker room. You laugh slightly but stop when you realise most of the team are watching you and Leila. It made you feel awkward but given the past couple of days you couldn’t really blame them.
“Y/N. I mean it, no hulking out on the pitch” 
“No code green, got it”
Mapi watched the interaction in awe. You had been miserable for days yet a 30 second conversation with Leila had you smiling and joking. It made her think if her pride had stopped her from seeing this all long. 
“You see it now don’t you?” Alexia question made it sound like everyone knew that the connection you and Leila shared was real, well everyone but Mapi. She simple nods in response.
“It took you long enough” Alexia pats her on the back when she finished getting ready.
Within the first 15 minutes of the game it was like Real Madrid had one mission and it was to rile you up. Every time you had the ball they fouled you and when you played it to Jenni they did the same to her. It caused your already short fuse to trip and you knew it was only a matter of time before you retaliate. Much to your surprise you last almost the entire first half before getting your payback. You foul Sofia Svava which results in you getting a yellow card. Misa who was the closest to you comes to argue with the ref but it’s pointless you got your card, no way was it a red, but that didn’t stop her from trying to get a rise out of you. 
It seems like both teams have been told to be on their best behaviour when the second half starts or at least much friendlier. No cards are given out for 30 minutes but it’s as if everyone was waiting for what was to happen next. Caro makes a run down the right hand side and sends a ball into the box. It goes over yours and Jenni’s head which you thought was strange but you turn around just in time to see Caro’s target get taken down to the floor after Misa makes a high clearance which should never have happen.
Leila laid on the on the grass holding her head. You were blinded by rage and you only had you eyes on one person. Misa could have serious hurt Leila, she still might have and you needed the goalkeeper to know that she wasn’t go to get away with it. You barge your way through the white shirts, pushing and shoving them aside like they were nothing. Misa knows she has done wrong because she starts taking steps back but it doesn’t stop you. You shove her one, twice, three times and your hand gets higher with every push, the fourth one sends her to the floor. Her mistake is that she gets up because if gives the chance to do it all over again.
“Mapi! Get Y/N!” Alexia shouts from Leila’s side.
Mapi comes running over but she isn’t strong enough to hold you back. The adrenaline coursing through your veins makes you unstoppable but Mapi doesn’t give up. Just before she is sent to the floor Misa pushes you back. It gave your team mates the chance to stop you but Misa doesn’t realise what she had done until it’s too late.
“You don’t touch her ever again” Mapi shoves Misa back and with one shove she is on the floor. Mapi’s protectiveness is finally used in the right way, to protect you.
You know that going after Misa is no longer an option so you go to Leila’s side but you can tell she is out of it. The sight fills you with a sense of fear you have never felt before, there was nothing to do to help her so you stood beside her hoping that your presence helps in whichever way it could.
“Y/L/Ns” the referee shouts you and Mapi over and you know what is coming. 
She hold a yellow card out to Mapi, then points it at you followed a red. In your eyes it was worth it, nobody touches the woman you love and gets away with it. You accept the cards then go back to Leila but once again the referee shouts of your and says that you have to leave the pitch. That wasn’t going to happen. The medics are still looking at Leila and you didn’t plan on leaving her side until you knew she was ok. In the end Irene and Sandra escort you off the pitch much to your annoyance. 
Once in the locker room you truly let out your frustrations. If you can grab it then it is thrown against the wall, boots, bottles, shirts, nothing was safe. You punch the wall in blind range and instantly regret it but the release of anger was needed. You were angry at Misa, the Madrid player and the referee but most of all you were worried. You sink into your locker clutching your chest when your breathing becomes staggered. It wasn’t an unknown feeling, not recently, but it’s a lot more intense than the other times it’s happen. Your hands start shaking and tears start flowing.
“Y/N look at me” your sisters voice bring you very little comfort but it does help.
“I can’t breathe. Leila”
“They’re taking her to the hospital” Mapi meant to reassure you but it only made things worse “take a deep breathe and let me look at your hand. Jesus, I thought you were out of your punching walls phase”
“I couldn’t help it. They hurt her Mapi, they hurt Leila and I couldn’t do anything to help her” as ridiculous as it sounds, Mapi has never heard you so concerned for anyone.
“You really do love her” it took Leila been injured and you almost taking on the entire Real Madrid team for her to see what you had been trying to tell her all this time.
“I do”
“Then let’s go see your girl” 
“They won’t let me see her. We aren’t family, she isn’t even my girlfriend anymore” 
“Leave that to me” you and mapi are less than a meter away from the door when she stops you “we need to sort your hand out”
“We are going to a hospital. They will do a much better job than us two” you remind your sister.
“that’s a good point”
The hospital was like a maze and between you and Mapi, it was like the blind leading the blind. You had no idea where Leila was, the main reception was no help as they couldn't legally tell you anything. You looked at the department board and narrowed down a few options where she could be. After the first two departments refused to give you any information you realised the best plan was to act like you knew where she was. You roamed the halls of the hospital on the verge of giving up that is until Mapi took things into her own hands.
"Hola!" Mapi had her charming voice on and you dreaded what was was to come next "We're looking for Ouahabi, Leila Ouahabi"
"She isn't James Bond" you roll your eyes at Mapi's dramatics.
Mapi waves you away as she turns her attention back to the nurse.
"You can help us, can't you?" Mapi asks only for the nurse to say unless you are family then there's nothing she can do.
"Listen to me. This here is my sister Y/N" you wave awkwardly "she is madly in love with the girl we are trying to find. They were dating but Leila broke up Y/N because she thought it would help me forgive this one but truth is I was scared that she wouldn't forgive me because I have been a terrible big sister and it cost my little sister the best thing to ever happen to her"
"7 minutes, just saying" you practically say to yourself.
"I'm sure your sister does love her but I cannot tell you anything, it's the law" the nurse apologies more to you then Mapi.
"What if they are married? What if I were to tell you that she is Leila Ouahabi's wife then will you tell us where she is"
"But you just told me they broke up"
You pull Mapi away making sure to thank the nurse for her troubles.
"Leave it mapi, we'll go back to the hotel and wait to hear from her"
"No!" Mapi marches over to the nurse's station but you don't have the energy to go after her.
"Where the hell have you been?" Patri all but runs to where you are. Clearly Mapi's raised voice worked, just not in the way she planned "Why aren't you answering your phone"
You had never been so happy to see your team mate. She ushered you both towards a room at the end of the corridor. Leila laid on the bed as she answered the doctor’s questions the best she could. Mapi enters first but you stay in the doorway and watch her for a few seconds. You definitely weren't seeing each other anymore but were you still friends? Did the small interaction in the locker mean you could enter her room?
Your sister talks to the team medics who leave and then pulls patri out of the room too.
"What are you doing?" you pull her arm back "She's your best friend, you can stay too"
"She is but she's your girlfriend or at least she should be" Mapi pats you on the shoulder as she walks past you.
You look back and forth between Leila and Mapi until the latter is no longer in the room. Then all your focus is on your ex. You could just make out the lump that is forming on her head but what you didn't expect to see was a small cut. You couldn't believe you didn't see it before.
"You were bleeding? How did I not notice?" Your head tilts slightly as you inspect her further.
"From what i've been told you were busy" Leila chuckles slightly but it didn't change your expression, which had worry written all over it.
"Misa deserved worse" you growled.
You knew violence was never the answer and that a punishment was sure to come but you didn't care, not when it came to Leila.
"You punched someone" she points towards your hand.
"Yes. Well no, it was a wall" you hid you hand so Leila couldn't see it.
"You shouldn't have gone after her Y/N. You could have got in trouble."
"What did you expect me to do? What part of you thinks I would stand to the side whilst my girl— whilst you get taken out. There was nothing legal about that tackle, the referee had been in Madrid's favour all game, I had no choice"
"I'm fine"
"You're in the hospital Leila, nothing about that is fine"  
You couldn't believe Leila was downplaying the seriousness of what happened. You try to take a deep breathe trying not to let your emotions start making decisions, not that they hadn't already. In all the time she knew you, Leila had never seen you this angry. She didn't know what to do or say to you. Truth is she was fine and she would get discharged first thing in the morning but you didn't want to hear that.
"You hulked out. What happened to no code green?"She needed to change the heaviness of the conversation but her attempt at doing so seemed to have the opposite.
"You think this is funny" you raise your voice slightly "Why does nobody take me seriously!"
"Y/N that's not—“
"No! First my sister didn't take our relationship seriously. You clearly didn't because you broke up with me like it was nothing. I thought I was doing the right thing today. I will always protect the people I love and I will not apologise for that"
The tension in the room thickened. Your break up hadn't been discussed up until now and even so it probably wasn't the best time. You were overwhelmed and it's as if every emotion that you have ignored over the past few days have come back and attacked you. It was too much, a huge part of you wanted to leave so that Leila didn't see your weakness but you didn't want to leave her alone. Instead of leaving, you put as much distance between the two of you and refused to look her way, meanwhile Leila couldn't look at anything but you.
"It was a mistake"
Your head snaps in her direction. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Those 4 words had the power to break whatever was left of your heart.
"Our relationship wasn't a mistake. How could you say that?"
"Not our relationship. Me breaking up with you"
"Then why do it? You told me that nobody would get in the way of what we want but that's exactly what you let happen"
It was hard to explain and Leila knew you wouldn't see if from her point of view no matter how hard she tried. You had the right outlook, you loved her and that's all that mattered but it was the love she had for you that made her break up with you despite what it cost her.
"Because I saw that you missed your sister and I didn't want you to look back and hate me for getting the way"
"I could never hate you Leila. Trust me I have tried but the anger that I feel towards you fails in comparison to the love I have for you"
You thought you were been sweet with your words but by Leila's reaction you must have said something wrong. Her bottom lip begins to tremble as tears brim her eyes but it is only when tears fall do you go to her. Sitting on the edge of her bed you use your thumbs you wipe the tears that have already fallen, preparing to the same if new ones fall.
"Did I say something wrong?" Leila shakes her head "then why are you crying?"
"I ruined us"
You agreed with was she was saying but it sounded permanent, like your relationship was beyond fixable. It wasn't though, you knew this and Leila needed to know it too. What you had with Leila was rare and when she broke up with you she didn't give you a chance to fight for her, that wouldn't happen this time.
"We're not ruined Leila. I never wanted this to happen. I was very happy spending my nights with you—“
"Sure you were" a small chuckle escapes her lips.
"Not like that, well kind of like that but in other ways too. I loved the side you brought out in me, for the first time in a very long while I felt true happiness and I'm not ready to give up on us. Are you?"
The silence is deafening and you can't tell if Leila is trying to talk herself into it or if she is overthinking what happens if you do give things another try. It is only when Leila looks towards the door do her thoughts become clear.
“Please don’t think about her” 
“I can’t not think about her Y/N”
Little did you know that Mapi & Patri had been eavesdropping on the conversation from the other side of the door and when she’s hears you talking about her, Mapi makes her presence know. 
“Y/n’s right Leila” Mapi pops her head through the door “don’t think about me. I got in the way once and it cost me both on you. I promise you it won’t happen again”
You never needed your sister’s blessing but knowing you have it makes things a lot easier. You only hoped she would keep her word or at least give you and Leila a chance to show her what you have isn’t a fling. Ultimately Leila had all the power, you told her you wanted her and Mapi made her promise, now it was up to her. 
The smirk that tugs at her lips gives you all you need to know and you couldn’t be happier. You didn’t care that your sister was in the room, you kiss Leila. It is short and sweet but just as you pull away Leila leans forward making it clear that she wasn’t done.
“Not in front of me please” Mapi uses her hand to cover her face.
“Then leave because I’m not done kissing my girlfriend” Leila didn’t have to tell her twice. She might have been on board with your relationship but she wasn’t going to stick around to see her little sister make out with her best friend.
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m-writes-stories · 3 months
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I'm Always Here - Part 4
Warnings: pregnancy talk, medical talk, preeclampsia, talk of terminating pregnancy, language, 
Word Count: 1675
“I’m sorry to inform you, but you have a serious health condition. About 5-8 women are diagnosed with it, but it affects everyone differently”
“Which is?” Travis asked. 
“Preeclampsia. It's a serious blood pressure condition that develops during pregnancy. The bleeding was just your body shedding its uterine lining, because it doesn’t believe there is a baby in you. Which really doesn’t have anything to do with preeclampsia but it is just something that can happen. I’m so sorry.”
“So what’s the best option for us?” You asked. 
“You can continue with the pregnancy, but there can be serious complications. I can 100% sit down and talk about them with you guys. Obviously we can terminate the pregnancy–”
“No, that won’t be happening,” you said.
“What’s the risk? Travis asked. 
“Fetal growth restriction, which is where the placenta does not receive as much blood as it should, causing your baby to be undersized. Preterm labor, which is where you give birth prior to about 35 weeks. Placenta abruption, which is where the placenta detaches from the uterine wall. And worse case scenario–”
“Our baby dies,” you said.
“Yes.” The doctor says. 
“Ok, so what now?”
“Now we just take this pregnancy one day at a time. We have some time before we really notice any problems. So we will just make an appointment every other week until we start to notice a major problem.”
“Okay, can I be discharged today? Is that possible? Or-“ you asked the doctor.
“You can be discharged today. But I want you to be as cautious as possible. So no stressful events, not as much physical activity—“
“No stressful events? Travis plays in the NFL, his games will always be stressful to me.”
“Honey I will be fine with you not being there.” Travis says. 
“But babe-“
Travis gave her a look. 
“Trav, I am not missing your games. I want to go to them,” tears sprung to your eyes, “I feel like I wouldn’t be supporting you.”
Travis hugged you, rubbing your back. He felt bad. 
“Would going to games be bad?” He asked the doctor. 
“It depends on how stressed she gets at games. If it is super stressful then I would recommend not going.”
“Ok, I mean I guess I can watch from home.” 
“Yeah, and you will have Avery.” 
“That’s true Avery always lowers stress.” You said, “I can try going to one game and see what I do. If I get too bad I can go home.”
You and Travis headed home. You were in the passenger seat and grabbed his hand for comfort. You needed it right now at this moment. 
“It’s gonna be ok, I promise. We are gonna get through this, pretty girl,” Travis said. 
“I want a boy.”
“What?”
“I want a boy. I want a boy so you can teach him to play football, I want him to do wrestling, but most of all I think you would be a good boy dad.”
“You want to be a football mom don’t you?”
“I’m already gonna be a wife so why not?” You smirked. “But I think you will be an amazing boy dad. You are an amazing girl dad, but I really think you will be an amazing boy dad. Someone you can wrestle around with.”
“Are you saying our daughter can’t be a wrestler?”
“No, I’m just saying you and our son would be best friends.”
“Oh okay. Secret codes and everything oh that would be awesome!” He cheered, “Jason would love that.”
“See what I’m saying. No secret codes to hide things from me though.”
“Oh never. You are a good mom. I hope you know that.”
“Oh I doubt myself many times.”
“Why? I could have never asked to have a better mom to two of my kids.”
“I need a break sometimes.”
“Every parent, not just moms, need a break sometimes. And that is ok. You are the best mom to Avery and I know you will be a great mom to our second kid. Speaking of which, when do you think we can find out the gender?”
“Jason and I already discussed this.” 
“Wait, so you’re telling me, that you talked to my brother before you talked to your future husband?”
“Jason is throwing the gender reveal.”
“Why can’t I throw the party? I throw the best parties.”
“You threw Avery’s. Jason wants a turn.”
“But I’m better at it.”
“Trav, if I were to allow you to throw my party, it would turn into, somehow, some way, a party for you.”
“True.”
“Plus Donna is gonna help along with Kylie and the kids.” 
“So if I can’t throw the gender reveal party, can I throw a party just because?”
“No.”
“Why not? I love to party.”
He pulled into the driveway and you got out slamming the door heading inside. 
“Baby wait.”
“No Travis. We have had this argument before. You can’t just party all the time. You wanted to step back up as a father. So step the fuck up. We are having another kid. I’m pregnant with our second child.” 
You walk into the house going up the stairs. You go into the bathroom, shutting the door. You couldn’t let Travis see you like this. You were vulnerable. 
“Baby, I’m sorry. This is new to me. I haven’t been around for basically all of Avery’s life, I don’t know how to be a dad. Or even to be a responsible adult. Please open the door.”
You opened the door, tears running down your face. You didn’t wanna look up at him. You didn’t wanna show him. 
“Baby, please look at me. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to do this yet. This is a big adjustment. I’m sorry.”
You looked up at him. You were ashamed of this. You didn’t want him to see. 
“I promise that I am going to try to be the person you need me to be. But I need you to understand that this is going to take some time, but I love you and I want to be here for you, Avery and our new baby.
“Travis, I’m gonna need you more than ever to step up. I can’t be wrestling around a toddler while pregnant. I hate to say this, but for a little while I need you to be strict on Avery. I need you to be a parent, and not just a fun uncle for her.”
“Okay, I’ll be dad. I got this.” He said. 
“I hate doing this but it’s for my health Travis. You know that. I don’t want-“
“Baby, I know. We gotta play good cop bad cop for a while. And that means to keep my wife healthy, I gotta be the bad cop.” 
You leaned him down and kissed him, giggling. 
“You called me your wife?” you said, tears starting to collect in your eyes once more.
“Yeah, you’re gonna be my wife. Better start calling you my wife.”
“Does that mean I can call you my baby daddy?’
“No, that is not what that means,” he said sternly.
“Fine, my husband.”
You walked back out into the living room. Avery was at Donna’s house, so you and Travis could have a night to yourselves.
“Babe, what does your schedule look like tomorrow for the game?” you asked Travis. 
“Pretty standard.”
“Standard? I haven’t been with you for almost a year. What does the standard look like?”
“I have to be at the facility at 11 since it is a 3:25 game. Then I probably won’t be home until between 8-9.”
You already knew this would be a long pregnancy, just knowing how many times you had cried in the last 24 hours. And now you were crying again. 
“I’m fine Travis, just the hormones. This sucks. I’m going tomorrow.”
“First, honey you aren’t fine and that’s ok, something made you upset. And second, why? You don’t need to go to the game.”
“What are all your cocky friends gonna say when your wife doesn’t show up to a single game all season? Or what are their snobby girlfriends and wives gonna say? Everyone is gonna think that I am only with you for your money.”
——
The next morning, Donna was over and walked upstairs seeing you with your hair in rollers, in the bathroom at your vanity. 
“Good morning sunshine. You are glowing today,” Donna said.
“I most definitely am not glowing.”
“Is Travis still here? I don’t remember seeing his car in the driveway.”
“Trav!” You yelled, “give it a few seconds.”
Travis came sprinting into the bathroom.
“What? What is it? Are you ok? Is Avery ok? Is baby #2 ok?”
“I think that was a record.”
“Same.” Donna laughed, “his face was priceless. 
“I know.” You chuckled, “that was great.”
“So everything is okay?”
“Yeah your mom just wanted to know if you were still here.” You said. 
“So you yelled, like that?”
“It worked. Did it not?”
“No it did. I don’t think I have ever ran that fast.”
Avery walked in and hugged her mom. 
“Avery honey I’m gonna be using hot tools here in a minute you’re gonna have to go somewhere else.”
“Ok mama. Daddy can I watch tv in your bed?” 
“Sure baby.”
Travis took her into the bedroom and got a movie set up.
“He is a good dad.”
“I had to bitch at him several times for him to be one.” You said getting the rollers set. 
“Really?” 
“Yup. I’m gonna go to the game today. He bucked me hard over it.”
“Why doesn’t he want you to go?”
“I went to the hospital yesterday.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Remember the blood stain?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it turns out I have preeclampsia.”
“Oh my god, Y/N I’m so sorry.”
“So I can’t be stressed out and I’m going to his game. And so now he is a little mad at me.”
“I mean he is just looking out for you.”
“Yeah, just sometimes it’s too much.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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topguncortez · 1 year
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What to Expect | Chapter 2
previous part | Masterlist | next part
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synopsis: you get confirmation on the results of your at home test. Bradley's animosity towards Jake rolls over into a locker room brawl.
word count: 3.9k
warnings: pregnancy, vomiting, cursing, smut, mentions of infidelity, fighting, blood, Jake having a dick measuring contest with Bradley
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            The first time you had ever remember meeting Bradley Bradshaw, you were four years old. His mother had brought him out to North Island for a visit to his Uncle Maverick and your father. He was a bit older than you, closer to your only brother Dylan’s age than yours. Carole had brought Bradley by the house to have a nice afternoon with your mother Sarah and Maverick’s then girlfriend, Penny Benjamin. 
You, your siblings and Bradley were playing out in the backyard, everything was fine until Gia decided to play a game of tag, except you were “it” the whole time, no matter who you tagged. And at four years old, it was hard to keep up with the older kids. You eventually got so frustrated, you sat down in the middle of the back yard and cried. Gia called you a cry baby, and Stephanie pushed her. Dylan threw his arms up in annoyance and went to go get a snack inside. The only one who seemed to care about you, was Bradley. He walked up to you, and held his hand out, helping you up off the ground. Bradley never treated you like Gia’s little sister, he always treated you like a friend. Which was probably why the two of you became such close friends later in life. 
            But in the span of your two decade long friendship, Bradley never thought he would be sitting next to you in the lobby of the OB/GYN’s office.  He looked around nervously, his leg bouncing up and down rapidly. When you told him that you needed him to come with you for something, he was thinking it was another trip to Home Depot or Target. Sitting in a doctor’s office full of pregnant women was not on his bingo card. 
            “Why are we here again?” Bradley asked, whispering to you. 
            Your eyes never left the questionnaire you were filling out. Some of the questions made your brain swim trying to figure out how to answer them, “Just a check up,” You said looking at him briefly. 
            “And you can’t just go to the-” 
            “Just shut up, okay,” You snapped and Bradley held his hands up in defense. There was a beat of silence before you sighed and sat back in your chair, “I took a pregnancy test the other night and it came back positive.” 
            “Oh shit,” Bradley said, adjusting in his chair to sit up a bit straighter. He looked around the office, seeing if there were any prying eyes, before leaning in and asking, “You think its accurate? You think you’re. . .” He gestured vaguely to your stomach. You nodded and Bradley let out a sigh, “Oh wow, I didn’t think you were seeing some-” 
            “I’m not,” You answered shortly, “It’s complicated and I would really appreciate it if you didn’t give me an interrogation. I’m already expecting one from my parents when I tell them their only unmarried child is giving them their first grandchild.” 
            “Y/N?” A nurse called out, and you gave her a tight lipped smile, standing up from the chair, “Is your partner coming with you?” You looked over your shoulder at Bradley who was looking at you. 
            “It’s up to you, Bug,” Bradley said, using the nickname that your father had given you. You let out a shaky breath and nodded for him. He stood up from his chair, his body still clad in his flight suit and followed down the hall next to you. 
            You had been in a gynecologist exam room before. You always found them cold and uninviting. And now, more than ever you wished you could be anywhere in the world, but in this exam room. The nurse took your vitals and explained what they were going to do at this exam. She instructed you to go take a urine sample, and then they were going to take some blood to run more tests. Bradley held your hand as you winced when the nurse took your blood, and you kicked him for making a comment about how will you handle childbirth if you couldn’t handle a needle prick. 
            “Alright, Doctor Miller will be in soon with results,” The nurse said and you nodded, “I recommend you start drinking some water for the ultrasound.” 
            You shivered as the nurse left, sending you a smile and shutting the door behind her. Bradley handed you your water bottle from your purse, a shy smile on his features. 
            “If you have to go back to work, you can leave,” You said, sipping your water, “I bet there’s more important things you’d rather be doing than sitting here.” 
            “Not really,” Bradley said, sighing and putting his hands behind his head, “It’s just day one, and Bagman can handle it, it’s the least he can fucking do.” You scowled at the mention of your ex-boyfriend and Bradley laughed, “He came to the Hard Deck the other night. Showed up in his uniform like he’s something special. God, I can’t stand him.” 
            “You two are team leaders now, you need to get along, no matter how you feel about him,” You said and looked down at your lap. Bradley’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you. He knew you long enough to be able to know all the tells of your body language. He could tell when you were angry, or upset, or overwhelmed. 
            “You’re hiding something,” Bradley said, leaning his elbows onto his knees, “What are you hiding?” 
            “I’m not hiding anything,” You said quickly. Bradley opened his mouth to argue when a woman with light brown hair wearing pink scrubs walked in. She smiled at Bradley and walked to you, hand extending in greeting. 
            “I’m Doctor Miller, I’m your obstetrician,” She introduced herself, “And you must be Y/N.” 
“I am,” You nodded. 
“Well, Y/N,” Doctor Miller took a seat on a stool across the room from you, “As you suspected, the urine and blood tests came back showing elevated hCG, which means, you are in fact, pregnant.” 
“Oh my god,” You said, covering your mouth with your hand. 
“The ultrasound will confirm how far along you are, and we can estimate your due date from that,” Doctor Miller announced, “I’m going to have you lay back, pull your shirt up below your breasts and pull your skirt down just below your naval please.” 
You nodded and did what she said. Bradley shifted in his spot, his brown eyes going from your bare skin to the ultrasound machine. 
“Alright, this gel is going to be cold,” Doctor Miller said, squirting the cold gel on your belly. You lurched a bit in your spot, and looked at Bradley. 
He could feel the waves of nervousness rolling off of you, and stood up from his chair, stepping closer to you laying on the exam table. He gave you a reassuring smile, before looking back at the black and white screen as Doctor Miller moved the transducer over your abdomen. Doctor Miller looked over her shoulder briefly, seeing Bradley and you standing close and smiled softly to herself. 
“Here,” She said, pushing down on your abdomen. Your eyes widened seeing the small blip on the screen. Doctor Miller’s glove hand pointed to it, “You are measuring at about seven weeks in gestation.” She clicked some buttons, taking a screenshot of the screen. 
“Wow,” You said, your eyes wide in shock. 
“Your estimated due date is around July 15th,” Doctor Miller said, and put the transducer down, and then grabbed a bunch of paper towels, “For now, I need to see you every four weeks, until about week twenty-six, so roughly around February.” 
“They’ll have the same birthday,” Bradley said and you shot him a glare. He gave you a knowing look and you let out a shaky breath. 
“These are for you,” Doctor Miller said, handing you copies of the ultrasound, “I’m also going to send you home with this packet.” She handed you a thick two pocket folder. You opened it and started looking over the various flyers and pamphlets that were inside, “There’s a lot of information in there about pregnancy, it breaks it down week by week on development, some recommendations for products to use for prenatal development, as well as go over the options that you have.” 
“Options?” You asked, looking up at her. 
She nodded, “Yes, you have options.” 
You blinked and shook your head, “Y-Yeah, I know, it’s just weird to hear someone say that to me. I-I guess I’m still a bit in shock about all. . . this,” You gestured to your stomach. Bradley put his hand on your shoulder. 
“It’ll be okay,” He said. You looked up at him, and he smiled, “Where do we make the appointment?” 
“At the front desk,” Doctor Miller said, “Oh, and here’s a prescription for a good prenatal vitamin,” She scribbled some writing down on a note and then handed it to you, “If you have any questions, either one of you,” She looked between you and Bradley, “Do not hesitate to call.” 
“Thank you,” You said, hopping off the table. Doctor Miller nodded as Bradley opened the door to the exam room, and gently guided you out of the room. You scheduled your next appointment, and watched as Bradley put the date in his phone. The two of you walked out to the parking lot, your jeep parked next to his bronco. You suddenly wondered if the jeep was even a good car to drive a baby around in. Living in California, you almost always had the sides and top off of it, loving the way the sun hit as you drove down the road. 
“Hey,” Bradley said, putting his hand on your back, “You going back to school?” 
“No,” You shook your head, “I took the day off. I wasn’t sure if I could go back to teaching eight year olds simple multiplication after learning. . . what I learned.” 
Bradley chuckled and leaned against the door of his Bronco, “You going to tell him?” 
“How do you know it’s his?” 
“Y/N. . . Bug. . . I’ve known you since you were three, you can’t hide things from me.” 
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, “I don’t think I can.” 
“Y/N,” Bradley said, standing up straight, “I don’t agree with what he did, and I am one hundred percent on your side but, you can’t keep a man from his child.” 
“I know!” You groaned, “I just. . . I can’t face him. He makes me so fucking mad, Bradley. I look at him, a-and my chest gets tight and I feel small and want to hide. It’s like everything Gia ever said in my ear about not being enough and not being able to keep him satisfied all comes true.” You shook your head as you felt tears well up in your eyes. Bradley pushed off his bronco and pulled you into his strong arms. 
“Shh,” Bradley said as you cried, running his hand up and down your back, “It’ll all work out, okay. If you want me to be, I’ll be there when you tell him. And you know Alyssa will be there too.” 
“She’s already claimed the godmother spot,” You chuckled and felt the rumble of laughter in Bradley’s chest. You pulled back from him and wiped your tears, “Thank you for coming with me. I know that 9-1-1 message at two in the morning was probably terrifying.” 
“Oh you had me on the verge of shitting myself all day,” Bradley said and you scrunch your nose, “It’ll all work out, Bug. I promise. And whatever you decide, I will be by your side.” 
“I love you, Buckles,” You said, using the nickname you gave him when you were younger. You couldn’t pronounce Bradley until you were about six, so you named him ‘Buckles’ and it stuck, “Now, get back to work.” 
“Yes ma’am,” Bradley said, giving you a mock salute. You giggled as you opened your driver's door and got in. Bradley waited until you pulled out of the parking lot to get into his bronco. He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. This was not at all how he thought his morning was going to go. Bradley reached into the chest pocket of his flight suit and pulled out the ultrasound picture, and smiled down at it. 
— — — 
Jake was nervous. The morning had gone well, it was his first morning as a TopGun instructor. He explained the history of the program, the risk and rewards that come with it. He smiled as he saw his name on the plaque for the best pilot from his class. Jake was getting ready to go head to the sky when Admiral Kazansky called his name in the hallway. 
It was as if cement was poured down Jake’s back as he walked down the hall towards his office. In all the years Jake had been a pilot, he had never been called into the Admiral’s office. Being called into the Admiral's office was like being called to the principal. You didn’t want to be there, nothing good ever came from being called or sent to their office. 
Jake’s green eyes looked at the various pictures and awards the Iceman had hanging up. The most noticeable was one that Jake was all too familiar with. He had seen the exact same copy on your bedside table just weeks ago. Jake felt himself relax a bit, but it was only for a second, then the door opened. He quickly stood up from his seat, standing at attention as Ice walked in. 
“At ease, kid,” Iceman said, walking to his desk. Jake sighed, and stood at parade rest, until Ice sat down. Even though Jake was once on a first name basis with the man in front of him, he still treated him with the utmost respect, “Take a seat.” 
“Sir,” Jake greeted and sat down in the leather chair across from him. 
“I didn’t get a chance to meet with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw this morning, but I wanted to see where you think we stand with this class,” Iceman said, pulling up the newest class of recruits onto the projector. Jake closed his eyes for a second and let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, Jake thought that Ice was going to fire him after day one, or worse, tell him that he knew he was in his daughter’s bedroom the other night. But Jake relaxed in his chair, and gave Ice the run down of the class. 
“I think we have a very eager group,” Jake said, after explaining a bit about each of the pilots. 
Ice looked from the screen to Jake and nodded, “Well, I expect them to be better than the best. You and Rooster have a lot to prove. You two have a lot of work on your plates. It’s the first time that TopGun instructors are also members of an active squadron at the same time. I hope there are no distractions.” 
“None sir,” Jake said. 
“Good,” Ice said, and sat back in his chair, “I know things ended between you and Y/N,” Jake closed his eyes and let out a sigh, “But, if you need help with anything, my door is always open. You have my number, you are free to stop by the house if you need to.” 
Jake stood up from his chair, “Thank you, sir, I appreciate it.” 
“Of course,” Ice said, “I see you as a son. If you’re with my daughter or not. You’re dismissed.” 
Jake nodded and left the office as quickly as he could. He didn’t even notice, but he had started sweating as he sat there under Ice’s cold stare. 
When he first met you, he had no idea who your father was. In fact, you kept it a secret for nearly the first three months of being together. Your father was famous when it came to Jake’s world. So the moment you said that you were a Kazansky, Jake felt like he had been hit by a train. He thought you were messing with him at first, but you pulled out your driver's license and Jake nearly passed out. The first time he had met your father, Jake was sweating bullets the whole time. He almost showed up at your front door in his dress uniform, because whatever was in his closet wasn’t good enough to meet Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky. But, Ice made a comment about Texas Football, and Jake fell into an instant conversation with the Admiral. 
He was worried that post break-up things would be awkward or tense, but Jake was surprised to find that it wasn’t. It was also probably because Ice ran a tight ship around here. He wasn’t one to bring in outside problems into the workplace. Ice hadn’t once brought up the break-up until today, and Jake was even surprised that he had mentioned something. 
Jake smiled to himself as he walked down the hallway towards the locker room to get dressed for his flight. He was whistling some tune when he walked in, seeing Bradley lost in thought while looking at some photograph. 
“Where ya been Bradshaw!” Jake said loudly, causing the pilot to startle and drop the picture.  Bradley scrambled to get the picture as it soared down under Jake’s boot. He bent down to grab it. He was going to give it back, but then he saw the disheveled look of his wingman, “What’s going on?” 
“Give it back,” Bradley said, reaching for the picture, but Jake took a step away from him. 
“Oh shit. . .” Jake smirked, “Is this what I think it is,” He wiggled the picture in his fingers, “Were you about to whack-” 
“Give me the picture, Bagman,” Bradley said, stepping over the bench and reaching for it. Jake took another step back. 
“Nah, I wanna see what got Rooster Bradshaw so flustered that he has to. . . wait,” Jake said, looking at the picture. He was expecting to see some scantily dressed woman or even a man on the front of it, but he was met with the sight of black and white sonogram. Jake had two older sisters who had kids, and he knew exactly what this was. Bradley held his breath as Jake’s green eyes looked over the information on the side of it. 
“Is this a joke?” Jake asked, looking up at Bradley. Bradley looked down at his boots and scratched the back of his neck, “I can’t fucking believer her. We’ve been broken up for less than-” 
“Wait a damn minute,” Bradley said, lifting his head, “You think she was sneaking around?” 
“Well,” Jake shrugged, “What do you expect me to think!?” 
Bradley chuckled humorlessly, “She’s not you, Bagman. She’d never even think to cheat on you or to do something behind your back. She was so loyal to you, and still is. Can’t say the same about you.” 
“So. . . it’s mine,” Jake said, looking back at the sonogram, and Bradley nodded, “Fuck,” Jake groaned running a hand down his face and sat on the bench. His stomach felt like it was in his chest, and the longer he looked at the sonogram, the sicker he felt. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He thought all the years that he was with you about having kids. About one day being able to start a family, and have three or four little ones who looked just like you, running to him as he came home from deployments or missions. But he kissed that dream goodbye the second he walked out the door. 
“This is all wrong,” Jake mumbled. 
“Tell me about it,” Bradley said, leaning against the lockers, crossing his arms over his chest. 
“Does Ice know?” Jake looked at his wingman. 
“Not yet,” Bradley sighed, “She found out for sure this morning. I went with her. She’s due on your birthday.” Bradley saw the corners of Jake’s mouth tick up at that, “She doesn’t want you knowing.” 
“Why?” 
“Why the fuck do you think? You cheated on her and left her.” 
Jake sighed and shook his head, “I didn’t cheat on her.” 
“What?” Bradley asked, “What the fuck do you mean you didn’t cheat on her?” 
“I lied,” Jake gulped and looked straight ahead, “I couldn’t just. . . break up with her, so I came up with a lie to help me. I never cheated on her.” 
Bradley saw red, as he grabbed the pilot by the collar and slammed him up against the lockers. Jake grunted as his back hit the metal and pushed Bradley’s arms off of him. Bradley was only off of Jake for a split second, before he charged forward, wrapping his arms around the blonde man and tackling him to the floor. 
“Fucking get off of me!” Jake yelled, trying to fight against him. Bradley had about three inches and fifty pounds on Jake. 
“You fucking lied to her!” Bradley yelled, straddling the blonde’s waist, and delivering a punch to his jaw,“For weeks she didn’t leave my fucking couch cause she thought you cheating was her fucking fault!” 
“It’s none of your fucking business!” Jake yelled, and pushed Bradley off of him. Jake managed to knock Bradley onto his back. He reeled his arm back and punched Bradley in the nose. 
“Fuck it is!” Bradley spat, trying to regain the upper hand. 
“Whoa!” Fanboy said, seeing the two pilots wrestling on the ground. 
“Yo! Break it up!” Payback yelled, pushing through the door to get to Bradley and Jake. Fanboy wrapped his arms around Jake’s torso as he pulled the blonde pilot away. Bob and Coyote had come running in when they heard the commotion, and got their way in between the two pilots. 
“The hell is going on?!” Maverick yelled, walking into the locker room. He took in the sight of the two bloodied pilots and the group of aviators in between them, “Well? Explain, or you are all grounded.” 
“Jake’s a fucking liar and a cheat!” Bradley yelled, pointing at him. 
“And Bradley needs to mind his damn business!” Jake yelled back, lunging forward, but Coyote pushed him back. 
“That’s enough!” Maverick said, “Whatever personal stuff between you two ends here. Today. If you can’t handle it, then it’ll go to Ice.” Bradley clenched his jaw and pushed Payback and Bob’s hands off of him, “Understood?” 
“Yes sir,” Bradley and Jake said at the same time. 
“Good,” Maverick nodded, “Be ready to take the air in twenty.” Maverick left the locker room and headed back to his office. 
The other male aviators slowly released Bradley and Jake, but still kept a watchful eye on them in case chaos were to ensue again. Coyote asked Jake if he was alright and the blonde nodded, turning back to his locker. Bob noticed that during the scuffle, a picture had fallen from Jake’s grasp. The WSO gently picked it up, his eyes widening a bit at the sight of the sonogram. He looked between the two pilots, the tension in the locker room thick and awkward, before turning to hand the sonogram to Bradley. 
“This fell,” Bob said softly, tapping Rooster on the shoulder. He turned around and looked at the sonogram in Bob’s outstretched hand. 
“Thanks,” Rooster said, taking the picture. Bob gave him a tight lipped smile before going to his own locker and getting his gear. Jake saw the interaction and it made his blood boil even more. He grabbed his gear and slammed his locker shut, and made his way towards the door. 
“Oh, Bradshaw,” Jake said, stopping and turning around to face the mustached pilot. Bradley looked at Jake, his eyes narrowed on him. Jake smirked and grabbed a tooth pick from inside his flight suit, 
“You’ll never be that kid’s father, no matter how hard you try and act like it.” Jake popped the toothpick in his mouth and left the locker room. 
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rageprufrock · 7 months
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Hi Pru, this is a career question... I am in my mid-twenties, female, not quite the most junior employee at my organization but treated often as one. The workplace is highly male-dominated, competitive, the older supervisors sometimes hilariously old-boys'-club, and the younger men (my age) mean well (feminist, etc.) but have their own territories to defend. For complicated reasons I cannot leave. I knew some of this coming in but am ashamed to say that
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You’ll love this: my response is so late because I too girlbossed too close to the sun and have accidentally reached mid-senior leadership status at my organization and the past month has been the most hilarious cluster of fucks. Insert clown emoji herey.
ANYWAY.
I have a few thoughts on this one, and hopefully one, or some, of these are helpful as you're navigating your early career.
To address your most immediate question: is it meant to be this hard? I think "is it meant" or "is it always" are two different questions, and each with branching answers completely dependent on your field and profession. Some are notorious for early career hazing--banking, medicine, etc--and then the answers are that the suffering is a feature, not a bug, for these industries (this can be debated ad nauseum but you know what I mean), and then for many, many other professions, the answer is that while it's not meant to be this difficult, it still is, and that it's all we can do to survive it.
But setting aside the macro issues, of whether the role itself is objectively hard or if the environment you're in is objectively sub-optimal, the more nebulous and inescapable thing is that each one of us, individually, in our early career are undergoing one of many puberties and all its attendant implied indignities. I find it weird that culturally we don't talk about this much--at least not in Western or the Eastern cultures with which I'm most conversational--but think about it: in the first five to ten years of your working life, you're often simultaneously navigating a staggering number of life-changing systemic shifts that have a tectonic impact on your lived experience. I
For a lot of us, beginning your life as a working adult means you're likely moving out of your parents' home, which adds a huge amount to your mental load and financial burden.
For a lot of us, these early professional jobs are also the first time we're operating in a performance-reward system for which there is no clear rubric or understandable progression monitoring--there aren't any grades, and I can't tell you the number of people who I've spoken to in my career who have been shocked when they're told they're being put on performance improvement plans even though they thought they were doing fine.
It's like being sent to college with no class list, textbooks hidden in eight different departments run by varyingly helpful people, while trapped in an inescapable group project run by someone who seems just as frazzled as you are, and told "okay well you should need to bring me your completed degree by EOD Thursday." This doesn't even take into account your genetic assignment to play this entire game on hard mode by failing to be a cisgendered man in the dominant cultural demographic.
People who've had multiple jobs and career changes can attest, every new job, no matter how seasoned you are, is fucking exhausting. It's almost a joke among my friends at this point how often I change jobs, and every single time I do, there's at least a six month run where at the end of every day, I'm fucking spent. I couldn't calculate 1+3 if my life depended on it, because I've spent my working day so furiously trying to read the professional tea leaves and figuring out what the actual fuck I'm supposed to be doing--which, funnily enough, is never as clear as you would think! Even if you are at increasingly senior levels of responsibility! It's really fun and good! Your boss's boss's leadership team meetings? Surprisingly similar to when I used go get coffee during my break working at an ice cream shop to complain about our customers and equipment and boss! It's amazing how no matter how much changes, everything stays the same!
So I think in the end, my answer to your question is this:
Is it meant to be this hard? Depending on what you do, maybe.
But should it be this hard? Of course not. Life is short and lush and wonderful, but already so filled with challenges, and it's a shame that being rooted in capitalism, we're all forced to participate in a system that's so unbending and unforgiving.
But does that mean it's going to be forever? Or that you can't survive and thrive and have fun in the process? Absolutely not.
However awful you feel, however bad the job is, it doesn't have to be forever. This role you're in now may be just what you need to find your next, better, better paid opportunity. And maybe that one won't be the ideal for more than a year, maybe two, but that's why you keep an eye out and a keen focus on what you want, and what's most important, and like a shark, you continue to move and grow as you get clearer on where you want to move and how you want to grow. The person I was at 24 could not have imagined the person I am at 38, and I'm guessing that the woman I am today can't fathom who I'll be in another 10 years. Whoever she is, I hope she's still choosing to do hard things and--to the very best of her ability--having a good time in the process.
It's okay to cry about work. It's okay to cry at work, even though I strongly recommend that you do this huddled in a restroom in privacy because otherwise it gets messy--fairly or otherwise. It's okay and normal to do these things. It's okay and normal to feel like a fucking disaster, to feel--or to in actuality!--be categorically failing. It is okay and normal to hate and love your job, and to love money and hate the work. There is no right way to do this, and the only wrong way is to give up on yourself, or to create a situation where you cannot have the freedom of your choices or your future.
It's also going to get easier with time. Even if you don't feel it, every day you're getting more experienced, more confident, more discerning. Those microscopic, atomic changes in you accrue, and I'm sure if you're honest with yourself you can already identify how even today, you are a stronger, more capable person in your professional context than you may have been just a year or two ago. Even if you don't mean to do it, just the experience, the bruises, the callouses from throwing yourself at the brick wall over time will rewrite the person you are--if you do this with your eyes open and intentionally, all the better.
Five years from now, ten years from now, you might still find yourself crying about work. But hopefully you'll share the good fortune I have been privileged enough to have, and find yourself the type of good friends who say, "don't care during work hours, it's beneath you to give them the satisfaction--cry later," and actually have the wherewithal to follow that extremely correct guidance.
So anyway, it shouldn't be this hard, but it is. The good thing is, you're better and stronger than it is, and you can look forward to the day you get to look over the shoulder at all the worlds you've conquered as you get ready to do it all over again.
💖
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aingeal98 · 5 months
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hiii i consider u a cass expert and since this has been eating at my brain for a few years at this point; do you have any thoughts on the way cain's poor excuse for parenting impacted cass on more of a cognitive/developmental level? like children need stimuli of all kind that she clearly didnt get even outside of literacy and social interaction and i think its super interesting to explore how cass has complicated relationships with things most people take for granted (like... did cain allow her to have any toys? to play any games other than the "two for flinching" thing? does she struggle with the fine motor skill needed for writing bc she really didnt have smth similar? omg is she ok?? i want to peel her like an onion so badly) sorry for brain vomiting over here i have thoughts and feelings about cass cain and its incurable
Anon you've come to the right place for incurable thoughts and feelings about Cassandra Cain! And you raise such a good point like there's no way Cain's abuse didn't leave her with more than just aphasia, illiteracy, cptsd, all the emotional issues... OK well he left her with a lot of stuff but still! You're definitely right that there's more. I'm no expert but one thing I know how to do is ramble about Cass, so:
In flashbacks we see young Cass doing a jigsaw of a rose in the dojo Cain's raising her in, which makes me think he did want to find ways to make sure her cognitive skills functioned even without words. Of course this is just me theorising but in terms of toys I think he would have carefully selected things that would stimulate her brain and improve her motor skills even without reading and writing. The image of David Cain carefully buying Jenga and Operation and making sure all the packaging with words on it never reaches Cass is now permenantly stuck in my head so thank you for that.
I do think she was definitely deprived of a lot though, and things like the jigsaw were clearly meant to be filler stuff for her before the actual fun games like "getting shot and dodging the next few bullets". I don't think Cain would have ever wanted Cass to be relaxed and comfortable enough to actually fully enjoy playing with toys, you know? If she was actually able to find things like jigsaws meaningful and fulfilling then his conditioning of her to associate getting shot with "fun game of dodgeball" wouldn't have been as successful. Cass may not have liked two for flinching but she did love the fighting and the dodging. Any thoughts of "why am I in pain when I could just be playing Jenga" would have never been allowed enter Cass's head. Which would be easy enough because (understandably so given the isolation) Cass looked up to Cain and got joy and fulfilment from seeing him smile. He doesn't care if she finished the jigsaw other than getting angry/worried if she fails. Whereas being able to assemble and break apart a gun while blind makes him light up with happiness/pride. So naturally, even with Cain making sure her brain isn't TOO different for her not to be able to function as the perfect weapon, she would still be deprived of important cognitive skills and stimuli.
The writing specific fine motor skills would definitely be impacted imo because while her training makes sure her hands can work a massive variety of weapons and probably permenantly injure a man in multiple places with each finger, writing is such a specific task that only comes naturally to us because we learned it so young. It can be learned later in life of course but the natural act of holding a pen and writing would feel so alien to Cass. And that's before you factor in her dyslexia like no wonder we only saw her pick up a pen once 😭 Cass being able to write the alphabet with any sort of ease and lack of intense focus would be a massive accomplishment given David Cain's fuckery.
And just in general being so isolated for most of her childhood would have impacted her brain so badly like even without the autism Cass must have been in overstimulated sensory hell after leaving Cain. So many voices talking, which she'd never heard before. So many smells and sounds and new textures and sights that are too intense for her eyes to handle. She missed out on an entire world and only got to start experiencing it when she was 8, that's got to have a longterm impact. I think as well as autism Bruce and Barbara had her tested for adhd due to all the symptoms she displayed. Doctors aren't clear if she actually has it or if its something different brought on by her upbringing. She spent nine years homeless and travelling so she's more adjusted than she was at the start but there's still times that the whole world just goes blurry and whoops panic attack time need to find an empty place and hide.
I'll stop here so I don't rant forever but thank you for giving me the chance to yell about head. canons and theories. Cass is indeed the most fascinating onion, and the layers are endless. Feel free to rant in my inbox whenever you want I love hearing other people's thoughts on her!
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bobbile-blog · 5 months
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Okay so my addition to the extensive list of “Tiny world building things that Arknights consistently gets really right” is not having binary, two-sided conflicts.
Like, yeah, okay. Everyone knows that having a multi-sided conflict is generally more realistic and makes for a better allegory and helps motives seem more real or whatever, sure. But that’s haaaard, and it takes forever to world-build and set up stuff that you’ll probably never use again anyway, and do we really need hyper-realism for this one character’s side plot anyway? It’s fine if we don’t have that here, right? This sort of world-building, while good, is usually not worth the effort you put into it because not all conflicts are important enough to justify that level of detail.
To pull an example from another mobile game, Honkai Impact does this in a perfectly serviceable way. While the story as a whole has a number of factions that interact with each other, there’s usually only one faction in the role of “major antagonist” and which faction it is shifts over the course of the story. You’ll sometimes get more than two groups at play, but that’s usually only used to set up the next major antagonist and they’re rarely on even footing and given equal focus. And that comes out fine! It works great for the pacing of the story and serves its purpose perfectly well.
With Arknights, however, they have consistently refused to write stories that are just a two-sided A versus B conflict. From way back in Grani and the Knight’s Treasure up to the political clusterfuck of the more recent story chapters, Hypergryph just doesn’t write stories that are black-and-white protagonist-antagonist. Off the top of my head, the closest we get to that is in stories like Lingering Echoes and Guide Ahead where a single character disrupts a protagonist-antagonist plot. The two stories share a lot in common, actually - there’s a two-sided protagonist-antagonist story that is disrupted by a protagonist-aligned figure, Czerny in the former and Fiametta in the latter, that refuses to be bound by the said simple conflict. Both stories are also complicated by B-plots that don’t have nearly as simple resolutions, which are tied closely enough into the A-plot to make it more complicated.
All of the events are like this - as I write this I’m looking back through the event records for something I’ve missed because there’s no way they’ve been that consistent with this, right? But they have, and it’s staggering how consistent they are with it. There are all sorts of factions lying around that just get picked up again on the whims of the writers (like AUS or the Browntails), and it does wonders for making the world feel more complex and more alive.
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jaytherat · 2 months
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Aita for having a secret soulmate?
So for context, i (30 M) am in a sever with my friend (41 M). In this server we play like death games and this is the 3rd time we’ve done this. Every game we have new gimmick of sorts, and for this one its having our health tied to another player, or your “soulmate.” My friend and i were linked and, while i love him to bits and he is my best friend after all, this isnt the first time we've been “linked.” And he was well… not the best at staying alive. So i decided it would be better if we weren't together. I mean your soulmate isn't entitled to you, you dont HAVE to stick together.
So i did what any reasonable person did and decided to see if anyone was having trouble with there soulmate, which is when i found another player (33M), we’ll call B. I had already known who B was from past games, and while we weren't “close”, he always a really kind and considerate towards others. A safe place in the storm you could say. So after he had a few… unwanted complications with his soulmate, I thought that it would be ok if i helped him out a bit, be better soulmate for him, someone that we could turn to. And i was right, he was everything i could want and more! He was the best soulmate anyone could ask for, he was my soulmate! my secret soulmate… although it was great, he was partners with a guy (41 M) who hasn't exactly been on my side all to often, and hes quite headstrong when it comes to things, often taking drastic measures to get what he wants, and i knew that having him as an enemy wasnt something i wanted. Plus i knew my friend would not be happy with this. So we kept it a secret, and it was fine until two days ago. He came to me and gave me some cookies, which i thought were nice, that was until he said that they were “for your secret soulmate…” I think he's known for a little while as hes been a bit cold recently and as of now its only gotten worse.
AITA??????
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ideavian · 24 days
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Your art and the style you have can only be compared to a resplendent dream. I'd love to know about your history in art, ie, your inspirations, how long you've been creating, and the story behind your fascination with distinctively ornate birds. My guess for the birds is Articuno, but what do I know?
Thank you so much!! That’s so nice of you to say akskkssk the birds are not really based on articuno sadly but articuno is one fine bird. Would love to catch it in Pokémon go one day 😔
I’ve been drawing birds for some … 8 years now? It started out less as birds than as colours in shapes tbh, like this one from probably 2016:
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^Brought to you by sketch express and its 3 whole layers on my iPad 2. I think the first such bird drawing I ever did was based on a particularly nice sunset I saw :) I drew a whole series of these elements-based birds but I can’t find them anymore…
After playing around with that for a few months I started taking requests for birds based on anime characters like this one (mid 2017)
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^rip Lelouch Codegeass you were a real one. I mostly drew characters from bungou stray dogs and That One Obscure Chinese Anime which. Really didn’t work that well in hindsight considering that the designs were more casual than what this style was suited for. But that’s where I started basing birds on people :3
And then in 2018 I got into a little dress up game called Love Nikki and started using the costumes as inspiration and also ran an art request blog, so I was drawing stuff like this for maybe four years? Also I got involved with an art club associated with the game so I was drawing a lot. Most of my stuff from around this time is on this blog!
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(August 2018, June 2019, September 2020, August 2021. These are very representative of my personal growth because if you look at my signature you can tell I changed from a cat person to a crow person)
In the summer of 2022 I started doing commissions and got to see a lot of of people’s OCs! It was a lot of fun honestly and I think some of my best work was from then tbh. I think seeing other people’s character designs in different styles really helped me with learning to work with different elements and compositions and such :3
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(August 2022, June 2023. Finally got a proper watermark because if I didn’t use them I’d get cancelled so hard on Chinese social media)
And also I discovered genshin character designs around that time and really vibed with the amount of detail on them :D I know people complain about how complicated they are a lot but my style only really works with complicated designs alsjsk
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(April 2023, January 2024. Found out about lighting this year and it’s so exciting)
And that’s my bird drawing journey so far! I’m busy with school right now but I’m definitely looking forward to drawing more consistently after I’m done :D I love birds and fancy clothes and birds in fancy clothes
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best-underrated-anime · 5 months
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Best Underrated Anime Group E Round 1: #E8 vs #E1
#E8: Lesbian vampire & human go on road trip to escape the horrors
In a bleak world where music is banned and Vampires have emerged at the top of the food chain, a girl named Momo breaks past the barrier and connects with Fine, queen of the Vampires, and the two journey to find a safe haven where their races can co-exist.
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#E1: Modern people transmigrate* to ancient Chinese fantasy world (BL)
People from the modern world transmigrating into the ancient fantasy world has become a common and everyday occurrence that the royal court in the latter has decided to moderate them. If you’re a transmigrator, you must report your existence to Lou Zhu, the master of Best Tower. Once you pass his test and prove that you are indeed a modern person, you can then be assigned to work in different areas of the government and be given a high salary.
Because of this promised benefit, many impostors have showed up before Lou Zhu. And one day, Zuo Yunqi shows up for this test. Is he an impostor, or is he an actual modern person?
But some transmigrators also choose to hide their existence out of distrust in the government. Where are they? And with their knowledge of science and technology, what are they planning in the dark?
*Transmigration = similar to isekai, but the world where the characters get isekai’d to is not always a western fantasy type.
Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!
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#E8: Vampire in the Garden
youtube
Propaganda:
This anime came out a year ago, but I literally never heard of it until earlier this summer because Netflix had it. You guys are SLEEPING on such a good series—it’s 6 episodes so it’s short, but it feels like a whole single film. The voice acting is so fun, the music slaps, the animation goes HARD during fight scenes, and it’s just so so good. The art style is pretty, and the scenery makes me lose my mind, it’s SO pretty. I need to write an essay one day about how VitG uses music to carry the story because wow that is 🛐🛐🛐 Also there’s a goofy looking dog named Connie that continuously appears and serves no purpose in the plot. Love that
Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Racism, Self-Harm.
Child abuse & emotional abuse for Momo’s complicated relationship with her mother. Also emotional abuse for Fine’s past traumas and current strained relationship with other vampires.
This is a vampire anime, so there’s a lot of blood and fighting. There’s also a drug introduced in ep1 that mutates a vampire horribly.
Racism is human-versus-vampire shenanigans.
Self-harm for a scene where a human attempts to feed a vampire and for drug usage as mentioned above.
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#E1: Are You Ok (You Yao)
[Admin: I could not find a single trailer of season 1 w/ English subs, and its OP seems to have been taken down on YouTube since Iqiyi, its producer (?), started their own channel. As such, I’ve cut a small portion of S1E01 instead, featuring the test the transmigrators have to take.]
Propaganda:
This donghua (Chinese anime) is based on a comedy novel with the same title, and the adaptation is just stellar. Instead of showing each character’s story separately like in the novel, the donghua combined everything. Because of this, there’s more focus on the plotty and political mystery aspect—but without losing the heart of the original. The entire show is still just as hilarious.
And for an adaptation with several original characters, for once I actually don’t mind it. I usually find such additions annoying, but in this show they really serve a purpose and also add to the enjoyment.
I also like the choice of animating it in 3D, like the one in video games. It fits the “transmigrate into a fantasy world” setting well. The donghua also plays around a lot. In one episode, they had one character sing and dance like in a musical, with the beginning of the song sounding like “Do you wanna build a snowman?” from Frozen 😂
Moreover, this is a Boys Love story, and with more than one couple, too! The secondary couple (Zhou Rongqi and Li Ke) even gets a very gay ending song that’s all about them. But since this show is from China, where censorship rules are strict, don’t expect anything explicit. Just think of it as another shounen with homoerotic undertones, except the homo is actually canon.
All in all, it’s a very fun show that doesn’t lack in depth. If you’re in the mood for something light but don’t want to miss out on plot, you should definitely watch this. And if you’ve never watched a donghua before, then you’ll definitely find this fresh and intriguing.
Trigger Warnings: None.
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If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.
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doubleddenden · 3 months
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The Epilogue dropped today: Mochi Madness. Its not a DLC, but rather an Event that's like a tad more complicated version of past events on the DS and GBA games- Such as how you'd obtain Victini, Darkrai, Shaymin, etc.
Although, I'll be honest, I wouldn't call it an "epilogue" because all it really does is introduce the friend groups to each other and then have a fun side adventure. Think of it like a fun, campy OVA or special episode to a concluded season. An "epilogue" would have done something to tie up the final loose ends of the story, imo.
But I'm not going to be a downer about it- This was fun, hilarious, and honestly what I've always wanted Events to be before they became mythical pokemon handouts. Although, I would have rather had some more to do, such as some of those strange structures deeper in Oni Mountain or just delving deeper into the connections between Ogerpon, Pecharunt, and the Lousy Three- although they were at least decent enough to provide small easter eggs to it, such as Ogerpon crying out when you bring her out to battle Pecharunt, Pecharunt crying out when fighting one of the Three, and Carmine talking about how Pecharunt and the Lousy Three were "definitely connected."
Its a campy little side adventure, and that's fine. I would have loved to see Carmine have more interaction with the gang, and to see the gang enjoy the festival or explore more of Kitakami, but as I figured with the end of Indigo Disk, I figured they just wanted to be done with Scarlet and Violet. Kieran had a great "redemption?" arc kind of, or at least we were able to actually work together with him and get some quality time with him in his right state of mind, and honestly I'm just thrilled to know that Arven considers us his best friend to the point he gets jealous of newbies.
Oh, and now Kieran and Carmine will appear randomly in the BB Club Room- it's a bitch and a half to get them to show up, but you can speed up the process slightly by using the system calendar to go forward a day until one or both show up. Nemona, Penny, and Arven are part of the coach system now, so all you need is about 1800 BP to get them all maxed out, and you can rebattle them on command. They also have fun interactions with each other and other characters, such as Arven learning about how "Toedscruel" from other regions can swim, Penny expanding on the facility Blueberry Academy is attached to, and Nemona actually offering up some more of her own backstory.
As for Pecharunt itself- I'll admit. I'm very let down. I thought the way things were played out before that it was building up to be this mastermind behind everything, but it's just a little runt. That's fine too, in the end, I love a good little gremlin bastard child. Its ability is pretty insane, too, automatically stacking Confusion on top of Poison status you inflict on your opponent.
Perhaps there was a much, much bigger story planned out involving it, Ogerpon, and the Loyal Three, but ultimately time, like usual, was something they sacrificed to get it out the door. Perhaps this was always the plan. Who knows.
As it wasn't DLC and it was just an extension of Indigo Disk's DLC, I'll just judge it a 7/10 for what was provided. It was fun enough, got some great laughs, some fun animations, I just wish there was more to it, and I'll always be a bit bitter that it wasn't the final answers to the story I've been seeking, nor was it more than just a gag Pokemon in the end. Still, I would love more Event Pokemon in this style. No more Zarudes or Zeraoras, give me Pecharunt all day any day.
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thewiglesswonder · 11 months
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I'd be hard pressed to say I don't enjoy collector at all (I have merch of him after all). But my feelings towards him are complicated, he was great in s2, but in s3 I couldn't help but feel like the crew felt like they couldn't redeem him as is. That they felt they needed to absolve him of doing anything actually wrong so all his potential crimes are either nonexistent, blamed on other collectors/belos, or pretty much swept under the rug.
When we saw that collector back in KKKOHD it was like " Oooo this is intriguing, who is this and whats their deal?". Dana even showed off her half of collector's face during the charity event and saying "you've technically already met them" . So it was like "oooo the collector who caught the owl beast!".
And then it keeps ramping up, we have Philip find him, he's introduced as childish but sinister, he has a murder cult who worships him, he slams belos into a wall and angrily forces king to stay with him from luz.
And then-
Nah, he's unaware of death, misunderstood, hates said cult, and not even the same collector we met who caught the owl beast.
It felt like we were building up a very different kind of collector then what we got. This child who played with his food and didn't care who got hurt unless he was having fun, who caused the curse and pissed off the titan so much he hid his son away, and then everything that made him more grey just.... was not his fault at all.
And then on top of this there are just things between ep2 and 3 that don't make sense or are dropped, he doesn't understand death but crosses out a whole chapter in his book explicitly about genocide, which implies he does understand death? Belos tricks him into thinking King wants him dead and collector litterally gets over it by the next episode that i kinda don't see what the point was? He is shown to feel jealous over luz and angry about her arrival, but by the next episode he litterally starts the episode claiming to want to be her friend? How does he know about the cult but not know about death given they KILL titans?
Heck, FTF ends on him sinisterly saying he wants to play a new game, but WAD claims the dream sequence was belos's idea, not his, so its extremely misleading.
I'm not even opposed to the idea of a character being built up to be sinister only to reveal they never actually were and it was just a lie built on misunderstandings and paranoia. But it didn't feel nearly as well built up as it could've been.
And then on top of this, collector cries over luz dying as if its the first time he's felt this way, despite knowing her as a friend for a few hours max? He's never cried before? Not when the titans who were his friends were killed or when he got locked up? And then despite this being here to teach him about death being permanent, luz basically instantly comes back.
And after all of this, after what he did to the people on the isles, he just....leaves. he doesn't stay to help repair the isles that he partially damaged, and despite the show having a found family message and collector not wanting to be alone....he leaves....to be alone. So his redemption rests on a few hours of life lessons with luz, luz's not permanent death, and then thats enough to change his whole world view so its perfectly fine if he goes off on his own now I guess.
Collector pretty much goes out entirely unpunished for anything, the isles shows no lasting anger to him, he keeps his friendship with king, luz didn't actually die, so there's really no strong consequences for what he did. He feels bad for the draining spell and stuff but thats really it, he doesn’t stay to repent or anything. I know he's a child but he might be the child character who got off the easiest for his actions this entire series, and what he was responsible for wasn't light either.
I like the idea behind collector, but I don't understand entirely the love surrounding him because the writing surrounding him and his arc is confusing and it read to me like they were bending over backwards to erase any trace of him doing anything bad of his own violation or just not taking it as seriously as they should of.
Trying to redeem a collector who did intentionally hurt others , who does work hard to repent, and who learns over a longer period of time, would of felt more satisfying and would've been more interesting.
I hardly have anything to add to this, you've summed up pretty much every issue I take with the little guy! I'm not denying that he's a bad concept or a bad character, the execution of his supposed arc and intensely conflicting information we were given about him through the course of the last half of the show, coupled with the fact that he's always kind of felt like he appeared out of nowhere to me, I hate to say it, but he really hurts the narrative more than he helps it as-is. More energy, time, and really thought put into him would soothe a lot of these issues.
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myeagleexpert · 11 months
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The Silence of Seven
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↳Synopsis:
❝ The peaceful atmosphere is shattered when Yuu finds one of her friends in a coma of unknown causes. Determined to uncover the truth, Yuu and her friends begin investigating the case and discover a curious pattern that links the victims. But as the investigation progresses, they find themselves in a tangle with powerful enemies, and this time the danger is out of Twisted Wonderland. Yuu and her friends will have to fight against unknown forces to find answers and unravel the mystery before it's too late.❞
↳Notes:Leona being a simp, Leona and Yuu have a complicated relationship, grim is clingyy, Crowley puts more work for yuu, angst+fluff memories? Yuu likes to flirt with others to pass the time.
「 Chapter 3: Can you feel the love tonight? 」
.  ˚  .   .        ✧
It was noon when Crowley summoned the prefect of Ramshackle to his office. What the hopeful Yuu expected would be news from her friend Riddle, she received only a paperwork of documents to take to the leaders and a cynical smile from the crow that everything will be fine.
That's how she ended up in Savanaclaw's dormitory, before she would have been greeted like weak prey entering a predator's lair, but now… students of all species greeted her as she entered the hot corridors, some stepped aside and others waved respectfully. Everyone noticed that its aura had changed, it was not an agitated presence that sought for survival, but a confident presence that said “Fight me if you can”. Leona admired this, the herbivore finally learned to roar.
He still remembered how she looked so weak that a wind could carry her away, how the students would band together to chase her and cowardly attack her. Like most days, the girl without magic appeared to be so ill that she spent a good deal of time in the infirmary. The girl's blood was cowardly spread throughout the dormitory, between fists and claws.
Yuu's entrance was betrayed by her voice, which the young lion was so fond of.
While the prince's voice was like a low growl, the girl's voice was like a melody, varying between high and low pitches and suiting her listener. While for Vil his voice was like an elegantly made melody, for Leona, it was a voice of strength and authority with hints of provocation, which he would never admit but he liked the play on words and boldness that the herbivore dared to speak.
"Your Majesty" “Herbivore”
Incredibly, in fact, Yuu and Leona got along very well, an interesting chemistry, and occasionally met to think of new strategies for the game or a chess match. Occasionally, Leona would let herself be vulnerable and sink into the girl's lap under a large tree in the Botanical Gardens. Occasionally, Yuu would hold his warm hand while he accompanied her to the classroom. Occasionally, her mouths would engage in intense and passionate fights, where surprisingly the two won.
"I can't focus on the document if you keep staring at me like that"- The herbivore felt the intense gaze of a certain carnivore who practically ignored the serious words she was saying and without any shame admired her beautiful eyes.
"Will you say that again? I wasn't listening." As he leaned forward her knees touched and he brushed a stubborn strand of hair behind her ear. There was no denying that a blush crept across both of their faces…
"*cough cough let's focus here*".- Yuu composed herself putting a physical space between the two
"Don't be embarrassed, it's just the two of us here".- The sly smile Leona flashed would make butterflies dance in anyone's stomach, but not Yuu, not now.
"I said, let's focus." The serious, gruff voice made the prince's smile slip. Like a twinge in his belly, he remembered.
"Occasionally" is not a couple. No matter how much their eyes met in the crowd, no matter how delicious the barbecues they had together were, no matter how much Cheka already considered her her aunt, no matter how much they whispered together, no matter how much Leona's eyes couldn't hide how much she adored her. However much time they spent together, the words never left the prince's mouth. As much as he wanted to, they weren't a couple.
“Hey, you lazy lion. Look at me” five days ago Leona was in the botanical gardens, lying on her thighs where she was getting a beauty sleep. Vile thanks you.
“Hmm?” without opening his eyes, he just growled to let her know she was being heard.
“Look at me” the gentle touch of the girl's hands made the green eyes that were so menacing before open up “There you are… what beautiful eyes you have.” the woman's giggles were music to her ears
"I have to go now." little kisses were deposited on the prince's face as she took him discreetly off her lap and oh… he wouldn't allow that
“Stay here a little longer” before she got up Leona grabbed the girl and trapped her in her embrace, getting him on top of her. “Stay” when Yuu returned the hug amid giggles, Leona could hear the elegant and smooth rhythm of the heart that wanted so much and without knowing it, purred in a low tone.
“Okay you spoiled cat, but only because I like you.” feeling so protected and loved in the arms of someone she cares so much for, Yuu relented and upon feeling a blush on her cheeks she realized…. Leona was nibbling her neck, which very happily Yuu returned the bites on his neck.
Ah the young love!
Leona was from a land where actions speak louder than words, while Yuu believed that sincere words were the beginning of everything. As long as Leona didn't take the first step, it wouldn't be Yuu who would. And Yuu was tired of the supposed game of cat and mouse.
What does a handsome prince see in me? What does he hide? Why me?
If they weren't official, Yuu could go out and flirt with any boy she wanted while Leona roared with rage in jealousy and envy. An anguished atmosphere between the two would stay for a while fighting over simple things, and then they would make up and the cycle would repeat itself.
When they finished talking a little more about school affairs and Riddle's secret affairs, Leona opened the door like a gentleman for Yuu, but he wasn't the only one who wanted to impress her. door. Unconsciously the prince stood in front of the girl, protecting her from a supposed bully.
-Dorm leader!-he bowed loudly- Yuu-kun!-he stood up with a smile on his face. -I…ah, I wanted to know if you already finished your meeting.
-We're done. Do you need something?- Yuu replied immediately
-It's just that… the guys in the lounge are calling you to talk to us there- the panther gradually lowered his tone, evading her gaze, passing his hand over the back of his neck
-Look, I don't know… I still have a lot to do.
-Please, it's going to be quick!-The beastman panther threw the best pleading eyes he could manage, as he grabbed Yuu by the hand in an impulsive movement.
"Why can he look at you like that and I can't?"
-Well…I guess I can stay a little while.- A blush crept across the girl's cheeks, but quickly disappeared as she remembered that Leona was still there- So Leona, can I send you the other documents via magiczap? There aren't many in any case .
"Whatever." His nonchalant expression might fool some, but his tail flicked to one side screamed his annoyance.
-So, let's go?- Yuu's charming smile made the panther beastman melt by lowering his ears.
-Y-yes, let's go.
"Stay here"
Unspoken words don't change hearts.
Leona watched the image of the two disappearing from her sight, the panther guided Yuu by the hand until she reached a cluster of beastmen of different species near the pool, all competing for a thousandth of Yuu's attention, this one, told several stories and advice to them , his warm, soft hand stroked the fur of the beastmans now and then and if the prince wasn't so proud he would do the same.
Coming out of a dark corner with a basket of clean clothes, Ruggie looked closely at the situation he saw and sighed heavily in counsel.
“If you just stare, it won’t solve anything, you know?” “Shut up, Ruggie”
The hyena witnessed these and other situations between the two lovebirds, he himself was tired of seeing how Leona was burning with jealousy and gave him more work to do. He couldn't deny that he saw hearts in Yuu's eyes and how Leona became a kitten when she was near. They deserve each other, what are they waiting for? What are the powerful and oh so strong lion be thinking so much? Don't you think he's afraid of-
“Ruggie. Bring that fur ball over here.”
.  ˚  .   .        ✧
Grim was reluctantly in Heartstabull's dorm, the feline had been clinging to the supervisor's side recently and due to his big mouth, Yuu decided to leave him with the boys so that she could resolve Savanaclaw's affairs as quickly as possible.
“Let me go minioon. We're a duo, aren't we?”- the cat meowed while grabbing the girl's leg
“No Grim, stay with the boys. I'll be right back"
“What if you get attacked there? Those big ones might be mad at you.”
“It'll be quick, okay? I'll be right back.”- giving a soft kiss on his companion's forehead, Grim stopped for a few seconds and then went back to clinging to her.
"Ah come on Grim, let her go soon" Ace tried to pull the feline from the mayor's leg.
“Trey made his favorite pies.” As lying as the line was, Deuce needed to buy time.
After having eaten the pies - what a spoiler, they weren't made by Trey, he was still in the office, Grim was pouting and meowing about the delay of his dear henchman. This way, it was easy for a hyena to find his target and drag him into the wild beasts' roost.
“Here you go, boss” “Leave us alone Ruggie.”
"What does Leona want?"-Grim watched the place noticing Yuu's familiar scent, but not her presence. The feline had noticed that the two lovebirds had stopped walking together, much to Grim's happiness. This one let out a smug grim at the thought that her friend without magic wouldn't see the lion anymore, would spend more time beside the big grim. Just like old times…
“I want you to send a message to the herbivore, your friend Yuu.” Cut to the chase, Leona circled the cat as if he were just another prey in his territory.
"And why don't you send it yourself? I'm very busy, you know?"
“Because…that herbivore forgot some documents here and you have to give them to her.”- according to the plan, Leona temptingly shows the documents to Grim, who takes the bait by becoming familiar with them. They're the same ones Yuu was carrying! "But we have a few points to discuss before taking it to Crowley"
Crossing his arms Grim asks "And since when do you care and collaborate with Crowley?"
“As long as he gets off my back, I want to get rid of the damn crow.” And who didn't?
“And for your friend to have a lighter weight on her shoulders, you have to collaborate with me.” the lion keeps the alleged documents in bed, hiding them like someone hiding a wild card to use later. With green eyes he stares at the feline and launches his proposal.
“Tell Yuu to meet me at the botanical garden during sunset. No delays."
Upon leaving the dorm Ruggie gave the feline a can of luxury tuna. Your payment for the message, he said. The prince wanted to make sure his message got through, and what better bribe for a greedy cat than delicious food?
Grim walked back down the path on his own, just him and his thoughts. Is Yuu so tired, why do I have to put more work to her? Grim's little paws unconsciously followed Yuu's scent until he found her in the hall of mirrors after she had returned from Octaville, this one, smiled gently when she saw her companion.
“Grim! I was going to go and get it from the boys' dorm now. What are you doing here?"
“The big grim went for a walk.”
“I'm happy for you grim, you must exercise to make your body strong and…” noticing a different can of tuna, Yuu asks curiously “Where did you find that can of tuna?”
Stop asking henchman questions!
Rolling his eyes and momentarily losing his confident posture Grim says the first thing that comes to his mind "Ruggie gave it to me!"
The can isn't even from campus, how was Ruggie going to give it away? It's because...?
“Why did Leona give you that can of tuna? She didn't get into trouble, did she?" Concluding that it was really the prince who has been disturbing their sleep and their romances, with him especially, Yuu fears the worst.
“Oh, I don't know! R-Ruggie gave it to me!” the more the girl squinted her eyes suspiciously the more Grim became agitated
"OK…"
As much as curiosity is one of her strong points, Yuu is really tired and changes the subject as they walk down the haunted, dilapidated path to her dear and cozy: Ramcharckle dorm! The sun was beginning to set, giving Yuu a feeling of peace and vitality.
“What a lovely sunset!”
Leona knew that. Leona knew that the girl from another world loved sunsets, because whenever they went out together she slowed down her steps and spoke less to enjoy the moment so ethereal. In Leona's eyes, Yuu's body lit up with a precious treasure as the warm orange rays covered her skin, the hair that even dark gleamed with vigor, and the eyes… ah the eyes that looked like pools of gold that the prince wanted to drown in them.
It was in these same eyes that the prince learned what hope was. It wasn't a delicate, naive term, as his books said. Hope has dirt on her face, blood on her hands, hair messed up, she spits on the floor and gets up to try again with eyes as dangerous as fire that burn with determination.
Fire can either warm you or burn you.
The magicless human from another dimensions, an alien to this world, managed to burn and warm many during her stay in this strange world, and the thought that she could leave at any moment gave Leona the kick to confess and keep her beside the Prince.
Burning and heating. In the depths of the young prince's heart, true feelings were slowly curling into her words, making him agitated and reviewing his speech over and over again.
Back and forth one… "Look, I wanted to talk about…us…"
From there to here one… " I like what we have now what if…."
From one side to the other a sincere speech was formed… "I want more, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours"
*shift track* bush moving
The small ears pricked up at the sound and this time Leona allowed a gentle smile waiting for Yuu.
"Herbivore, it's about time."
But Yuu was sleeping peacefully at the moment, sleeping between her covers on the couch in the Ramcharchle dorm, her head already heavy from thinking. Grim had never said the message Leona had sent, he had to make sure his Henchamn was rested and at his side.Right?
The sun had already set when Yuu received a call from an agitated hyena.
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oracular-phantasm · 3 months
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Another Thought
So there’s definitely a contrast in why I like the World of Darkness vs why I like the Chronicles of Darkness, and I think it has to do with the settings of each set of games, and by extension how I tend to approach them.
For the WoD, it’s a very Set-in-Stone place with preexisting lore and characters that make it so that once you’ve gotten into it, you have a solid base from which to start from even if you likely have to read about a dozen books or so to get handle on it. You learn the metaplots, how various groups are likely to interact, how the cosmologies come into play, and where everything fits into its specific context. Sure, a lot of lore definitely needs some fixes and fine tuning in order to avoid the rather complicated and often problematic elements, but overall there’s a foundation that allows for intricate schemes and grand plots that focus on your characters and the interpersonal relationships with the world and people around them. A good example is the Time of Judgment books, where your characters would have to deal with the apocalypse, and attempt to form alliances and organize themselves in order to survive it.
In contrast, the CoD is somewhat more flexible, give the focus on smaller scale and intrapersonal storylines. Sure, there’s plenty of room for larger storylines such as dealing with an Idigam for Werewolf or a global-level Conspiracy for Deviant, but there’s plenty of other options if that’s not your thing. Plus, in my opinion at least, it plays up the horror aspect a bit better than the WoD. There’s a lot more emphasis on becoming something other than human and how that can blur who you were versus who you’ve become. In comparison, I don’t quite get that from WoD, outside of specific examples like following a Path of Enlightenment or something similar. The various antagonists, as stated in an earlier post also help the horror since in the WoD you can eventually break down a threat in time, taking away their edge even if it just means run from the opponent for now. In CoD you’ll rarely get so clean an idea aside from lower level threats, with the mystery helping the horror factor. I also enjoy how seamless it is, for the most part at least, to mix and match the different splats into one chronicle and how some of them encourage it.
Overall though, both are fun to explore, play and read through, and I would happily encourage anyone interested in trying them out to look around and see what they tickles their fancy.
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