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cupidsdescendant · 1 year

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"Under My Umbrella" Sebastian X Y/N (AFAB)

hey yall so this is out of the ordinary (sorry tf2 fans) but I wanted to write a little fic for my beloved cousin @nerdiifan ! I love her very much and this is a tribute to her (and mine) fav stardew character <33 I would really love to branch out and create more fics about other fandoms so pls tell me if you'd love more.

Around 9:30 in the evening, the rain stopped pouring down from the sky. As a result, Y/N's crops were left covered in a layer of dew, and the soil was left damp. Slowly opening the door, she couldn't resist the urge to gaze outside and appreciate the stunning beauty of the moon. Its bright and radiant light illuminated the surroundings, creating a peaceful ambiance that was soothing to the soul. It was a moment worth cherishing. With each step she took, the floorboards creaked. She stepped her foot onto the dirt, her shoes sinking in slightly. As Y/N strolled through the town, the gentle hum of the street lamp and the rhythmic "sploosh" of her feet splashing through puddles provided an audible company to her walk. She soon found herself walking over to the dock, Y/N had always loved it for the peaceful sounds of the waves, she knew it was the best way to experience a full moon. Walking into the entrance of the beach she smelled something, the scent of nicotine. "Someone else is out here at this time...?" pondering to herself for a moment.

As she strolled along the sandy shore, her attention was abruptly drawn to a distant figure. Her eyes adjusted to find a familiar man smoking, his face being shown by the glow of his cigarette.

Sebastian.

Her heart fluttered, her stomach was in knots and nervousness took hold of her. Y/N had always prayed for this day to come but she never thought her prayers would be answered. Anxiety struck caused by thoughts of embarrassing herself or being obnoxious.

"This is your chance, Y/N! You've been waiting for this day ever since he introduced himself. You can't back out now, you just can't!" She felt sick. "You can do this, Y/N! Don't be afraid to take a chance!" "He probably won't mind either way." "It's not a big deal, just go for it!" As she approached him, her mind stated a firm rule. "Don't. Screw. It. Up."

Y/N was behind Sebastian's shoulder "H-Hi Sebastian." With her face turning red, she asked, "Why are you out here so late?" Sebastian remained silent for a few seconds before asking, "Why are you out so late?" puffing the smoke from his cigarette and looking over at her. Y/N was taken aback. "W-well. Uhm...I always enjoyed this type of weather and the moon is full. I wanted to enjoy it before I couldn't." Sebastian's face broke into a small grin, the kind that appears when you're appreciating something.

"Nice." Y/N broke into a smile. They both faced the sky and listened to the waves crash against the dock.

"But you didn't answer my question," Y/N said. "Why are you here?" Sebastian maintained his silence, taking the final draw from his cigarette before putting it out and crushing it beneath his foot on the ground. "Smoke break." He said softly. "Mom doesn't like the smell and she doesn't want it in the house." "But why so late?"

"I like the weather. Makes everyone disappear." Y/N stayed quiet. Although he provided an answer, she remained dissatisfied and longed for deeper engagement with him. She had an intense craving to genuinely understand him. "Disappear? So you're..more reserved to yourself?" "You can say that, I guess. I just don't like the engagement." Before Y/N could respond he continued his rant "Needless conversations, repetitive talk it's all numbing.. that's why I spend most of my time with only Sam and Abigail. Everyone can just be so..overwhelming." She faced Sebastian "I understand that. That's why I spend so much time alone on my farm." Sebastian's demeanor warmed up as he felt a connection with Y/N. His facial expression softened and his eyes looked at her empathetically. "We must have a lot in common."

Y/N felt accomplished. Finally, the conversation is moved beyond just small talk. "Well..I would love to know more sometime. If that's okay..you know with the 'Don't like engagement' thing." As Sebastian gazed at her, he let out a gentle chuckle. "there can be exceptions."

As Y/N opened her mouth to speak, a drop of water rolled down her cheek followed by several others, dripping onto her hair. She gazed up at the dark, thundering clouds above. As the rain began to pour heavily, Y/N couldn't help but feel anxious. "Oh no," she uttered, placing her hands on her head. "It's probably best that I head back home."

And then...It stopped. Although the rain didn't continue to pour onto her she still heard it surround her. She opened her eyes and looked back at Sebastian who was holding an umbrella over the both of them. His smile was sweet and his eyes reassured comfort and safety. The way he looked at her was comforting, like a cozy blanket shielding her from the cold.

"I can walk you back."

#stardew valley #stardew valley sebastian #sebastian x reader #sebastian x mc #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian

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azrielsoulmate · 5 months

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Magnificently Cursed - Prologue

Azriel x Rhea

(OC and Rhysand’s younger sister)

a/n: hello loves! i’m so sorry for being gone for so long but i hope you’re still willing to read this series of mine! please do let me know what you think about this part, i’m always open to feedback! also, i’m going to try and stay consistent with posting but school is kinda crazy right now so please be considerate of that :) also english isn’t my first language so pls ignore any language mistakes

series summary: Azriel and Rhea are just one of those things, as she always liked to call it. Ever since they met as children, they have been on and off. But with her coming back from under the mountain and a possibility of war, both Az and Rhea are getting impatient, worried for one another. Will this time be their final or is it just another one of their games that will be over all too soon?

word count: 1162

genre: angst

warnings: none!

enjoy!

The kitchen of the small apartment in the center of Velaris seemed oddly like home, as she set the table for dinner. She had made Azriel’s favorite kind of pasta, poured them some red wine and lit up the fireplace. And although Rhea was never much of a cook, she had spent the whole day in the kitchen. Azriel was to come back from one of his shorter missions that day and she had asked him to come to dinner.

Rhea and the shadowsinger were just one of those things, as she liked to call it - but really what they had should definitely not be described like so. Ever since they met, her a seven year old sister to the future high lord of the night court, with a heart still gentle, unmaimed by the cruel hands of the world, him a nine year old boy who had spent his most recent years locked in a dungeon. He had never met someone who was, to put it simply, nice to him - even his friends seemed to find his inability so fly or do certain things amusing. Rhea was the first and only person to protect him, and what a ridiculous sight that must have been, the girl running up to three boys twice her size, flaring out her wings and scolding her older brother and his friend for making fun of him. Azriel’s youth did not stop him from noticing that that very moment, with this very girl would alter something, not only in his mind, but the world altogether, a shift in the air and his heartbeat and his soul which from now on seemed to be at peace only when she was around.

How saddening it was that their roads never seemed to collide and all their last times turned out to be the firsts. Always their hearts were aching for the other, but never could they get themselves to ask the other one to stay. She sometimes wondered if it was his own past shoving her loving hands away, or maybe her own, always telling her to run, not let her bear her heart to anyone else. The world ached with them, burdened with the wait for when the two would find one another the one final time, oh, and they would - everyone was sure of that, but when?

As Rhea searched back through her memory, she really did hope that this would last. No war raging through their minds, or their court for that matter, the timing was perfectly right. But the time was never nice to them, to her, no. And she knew that this would either be their final time together, or it wouldn’t. That was the way things worked for them, she had figured after one of their breakups and for her own, staged, peace of mind started telling herself that she doesn’t care. They either stayed together, or they didn’t.

Her trail of thought was interrupted by the sound of quiet footsteps in the foyer right behind her, the smell of smoke and cool whispers of shadows making their way to tangle into her hair. She turned around to find her Azriel standing before her with disheveled hair and dirty fighting leathers. Without a word he made his way to embrace her and hide his face in the crook of her neck. They stood there in silence for some time before she pulled back and gently brushed back a strand of hair fallen on his forehead, half-expecting his eyes to light up or soften at the gesture, but his expression remained solemn.

“Did something happen?” she inquired, but it was when he didn’t respond for a little while that concern started creeping in “Az-” “We can’t do this anymore” she stared at him as he continued “I’m sorry” he added. The world stopped going round for her at that moment, as if it dropped everything awaiting for the situation to be resolved. The air cooled down despite the burning in the fireplace. “What?” “I just, I can’t do this anymore, Rhea. I cannot lead you on anymore” she just continued looking at him, as if she didn’t know why he was doing this. As if she hadn’t memorized his sorry excuses years ago, all the reasons he had to keep her at arms length - always close but never too close to comfort. Never too close to let her in on his heart’s secrets, the darkest corners of his mind, never too close to show her the places his scars were. Almost as if she didn’t already know, as if she hadn’t had him figured out for four and a half centuries at that point. As if a single look in his eyes, the crease of his eyebrows could not tell her all she had to know, and even as it did now - she could see it all. He was getting defensive, she had almost made it to his heart and he refused to allow that.

She let out a laugh and his eyes narrowed. “I know you, Azriel” she said “This isn’t about that-” “Really, what is it about, then?” His silence was enough of an answer.

She let out another laugh, but couldn’t get herself to say anything more. Maybe because silently she had feared this moment would come again, that he would come bearing another apology, knocking on her door and they would stand before one another, aching. Or maybe it was that she knew what he was doing, because she had done it countless times before herself. It was back and forth with them, really. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this this time” she whispered “I know, my heart, I know” he looked down at her as his shadows embraced them both, smoothing down the two matching scars on her back and around his wings. She breathed out as she asked “Will we ever learn?” “I hope we do”.

Oh, The Mother herself knew they would. But the skeletons in both their closets were starting to cramp up, taking up more and more space, and soon they would run out of it. As he was making his way to the door, the sound of the creaks in the wooden floors memorized by the both of them all too well, seemed grotesque. She brought up a hand to her lips and turned, unable to watch him leave. Azriel however, did look back, his shiny eyes whispering a promise to come back to her, to bring her peace one day, when he was ready. She knew the smell of smoke would linger and that he would crawl back home to her, and he knew he would get the courage to allow her in one day.

What they both did not know though, was that the next time they would see each other would be fifty years later, welcoming a new world, and a few new scars in Rhea’s eyes.

#acotar x reader #azriel x reader #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel acotar #azriel x rhysand’s sister #rhysand x reader #rhysand acotar #cassian acotar #cassian x reader #a court of mist and fury #acomaf #acotar series #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader

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mazeinthemiroh · 1 year

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rice water worries.

genre: drabble; fluff

warnings: none, just cute, short n sweet

requested?: yes

synopsis: when soobin throws away the rice water you were saving

pls like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

His intentions were good, as they always were. After all, you did always say he had a heart of gold. But you couldn't be a little upset.

"Was I not supposed to pour it away?"

His initial perplexed reaction aside, Soobin felt genuinely guilty. He had the best intentions, really. Wanting to clear stuff away so that you would have fewer things to tidy up, he thought he was doing you a favour. But your reaction told him otherwise.

Perhaps you were just exhausted. Everything that day seemed to go wrong, but this seemed to be the cherry on top.

"I saved the rice water for my hair," you sighed and crossed your arms over your chest in a huff.

Soobin's face couldn't help but screw up in immense curiosity. Honestly? He was even more confused. "Your... hair?"

"Yes!" You exclaimed as he sat cross-legged on his chair, waiting patiently for an explanation "rice water works wonders for your hair. I would've even let you use it if I had it still."

Soobin let out an "ah" and sat in silence for a bit, before looking over at you. His lips matched your pout. At first, you thought he was making fun of you, but he wanted to make light of the situation. He wanted to make it up to you.

The silence was filled with thoughts and speculations; what you liked about Soobin was you could see him think. His lips would purse in concentration and his eyes would dart from here to there. It was endearing. You could practically see the cogs working in his brain. And when he was done, he leaned in to peck your cheek, his soft lips already softening your heart. They always did.

"I'll make it up to you, baby." Ahh, that little nickname. He really knew you all too well.

Your gaze softened as you looked at him.

"How?"

Next thing you knew, you were wandering in a supermarket late at night with your boyfriend's sweater-pawed hand clutching your own as he dragged you down one of the many aisles.

"Why are we here again?"

"You said you wanted rice water, so I'm getting you rice water," Soobin said simply, an adorably determined look on his face. He was rather stubborn when it came to making you happy: it had to be done.

"Ahh, here we go" Soobin grabbed some ready-made rice water in a packet. "Saves you having to make it yourself again, eh?"

It wasn't ideal, but you couldn't help but smile at your boyfriend's childish antics. Sometimes you wondered what you did to deserve such a kind soul.

"Perfect," your voice sounded softly behind him as he turned around for your approval. You nodded at him and he smiled his usual dimpled smile.

All was well again.

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lamaenthel · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

#tag game #LOOK MA I DO ACTUALY REMEMBERED TO DO ONE OF THESE #rexsoka #kesett #my writing

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sisterofficerlucychen · 13 days

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Hi there again 👋🏼 just wanting to vent my feelings again.

This whole break up has me going trough all stages of grief all at once. First I was in complete denial and then just really sad. Now I'M ANGRY. Not to the show or cast, ANGRY AT TIM. As if he had broke up with me and not Lucy.

Been rewatching the show and I just saw the DOD episode and him being all worried about her and I was just screaming at my PC YOUUUU TIM BRADFORD PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER 1 DONT GET TO ACT WORRIED AND HER HERO AND THEN DUMP HER 4 SEASONS LATERRRR

I know i might sound crazy but just went from sad about them to being angry at him in a split of a second with NO REASON AND being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE

Anyways just looking somewhere to pour my heart and feelings. And a reminder that we all can feel different about this but none of that makes it right to throw hate and say mean things to Eric Melissa or anyone. I m just mad at Tim a fictional man that doesn't exist and not for that im going to say something horrible to Eric (actually if they are making us feel this so much is because they are good ay their jobs)

not hate just peace

hello ♡ pls, go ahead! always here to listen!

no but for real, i feel that in my soul lol. i think this is a place a lot of us currently are — all at different stages and feeling multiple of them at once. but lakfjsdklf mood. i’m starting to wonder if the 3 week hiatus is actually a good thing bc i think we’re all gonna need that time to get to a better place because it really does feel so personal???

i commend you for being able to do that 😂 i’ve gotten as far as rewatching 6x06 but there’s something about comfort watching my favorite episodes that i can’t right now, the wound’s too fresh lol. alkfsjdlfa not public enemy number one 😭 i love that you were screaming at your computer though 😂

for what it’s worth, i definitely don’t think so, it sounds very reasonable. i think your reaction rn is so valid like you’re still processing. i know i had a moment where i’ve kind of reached acceptance (i guess?) and saw a really sweet chenford tiktok and fell right back down to denial because i’m still so shocked by it. i also think you’re going about it in a pretty healthy way? like you said you’re upset at the character not the actor which is how it should be, you know what that boundary is.

love the reminder, thanks! and 100%. cast and crew are actual human beings who do not deserve hate thrown their way for doing their jobs and telling a story. it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to feel everything you need to feel, but taking all of it out on the actual people never will be. you can be critical without being disrespectful. yes on them being good at their jobs! SO GOOD!!!! this is me speaking from personal experience but one of the most gratifying things about performing is getting a response/emotion from your audience bc you’re making them feel something whether it's positive or negative like you know you did something right haha.

#answered #idreamwiththecitythatneversleeps #the rookie #chenford

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killersfool · 5 months

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IM LOVING THESE REQUESTS PLS KEEP THEM COMING!!! btw the more detailed, the higher chance of me writing it.

If you haven't already, please make sure to read my elijah hewson full length fic on wattpad ('evergreen'). It's on my masterlist. I poured my heart and soul into that fic !! And it's completed. The first ever fic I've actually fully finished. It's about a group of friends who are put together for a duke of edinburghesque expedition. Eden, the main character, initially detests the two irish lads in her group (robert and eli) but after a rollercoaster of emotions, traumatic shared experiences, she begins to warm up to them. It's inspired by my expedition so it's personal and has all kind of random little things sprinkled into it that i have personally been through. From heating up mouldy, soaked socks in a stove to eating tortillas with nutella to playing Uno and wanting to kill the rest of your group when you don't win.

Also just wanted to thank anyone who is interacting with my work. Even if you're just liking or giving it a read, it honestly makes me really happy. I feel like fanfiction has helped me to grow as a writer. I've been doing this since I was about 13 and have always felt welcomed into any fandom I've written for. I love the sense of community on tumblr/wattpad/ao3. If you have anything to say about my writing (whether that be positive or constructive criticism) do send it my way. I always want to improve. That's why I'm doing this. If you read my first fanfics, you'd be crying your eyes out with shock and confusion. They were terrible.

Okay. Rant over. Thanks again :)

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vodyaniks · 10 months

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Buckle up folks there's a lot of Maya lore coming >:^)

My arcana mc Maya has an illness one that is not the red plague but something similar to a mental illness (like depression). For now I'm calling it "Vacua Cordis" here's some info about it ;)

(pls keep in mind eng isn't my first language. I'm trying my best tho)

Vacua Cordis

( Empty Heart )

A deadly disease which only ones practicing magic can get afflicted by. Often manifests with other diseases making the symptoms worse.

Symptoms vary wildly between people as the illness comes from emptiness and chaos within the soul. As magicians soul gets overwhelmed by pain and anguish their magic also becomes corrupted and starts to manifest in unintended ways.

Those ways may include:

-Black void thick as ink, bleeding as if from the heart itself, pouring from eyes, mouth and nose. (Extremely difficult to wash away from skin. Which results in the afflicted being covered in black spots which makes it easy to recognize the disease.) (Sometimes the void forms into magical symbols)

-Strong coughing (often with blood or “ink”)

-Extreme chest pain

-Heat strokes

- Wild hallucinations and delusions

- Constant fatigue and apathy

- Dulling of the senses

The physical symptoms will become worse with emotional pain.

Although no matter the severity of the symptoms the illness is not deadly on its own. Still the Vacua Cordis took many lives of talented spellcasters. It’s considered very dangerous to come into contact with the diseased and so there is not much available research on the subject. ( the afflicted are prone to shut themselves off from the world due to this )

Vacua Cordis however is curable or at least manageable with the right kind of medicine and therapy. Which mostly deal with the curing and lifting the effects of the suffering of the soul.

Basically Maya had the Vacua Cordis since her childhood but it only got so severe when the red plague hit. And when she died and got reborn the illness didn't go away completely. It was only sleeping and hiding with her memories. When she remembered her old life and trauma she became extremely ill again but luckily now she has Julian and the rest of her friends by her side. She will get better.

Btw if you have any questions about her i would be glad to answer them :))

#the arcana mc #Manefia mc

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likesomekindofcheese · 2 years

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Ik you’re busy but if u have time n if u feel like it could you pls write one where ben makes a comment to joe about his gf being very clingy/needy but she overhears ben so she tries to tone it down. when joe finds out he gets angry at her bc he never said that to her and he doesn’t think she needs to change. but ending in fluff. u don’t have to but thnks :*

Sure thing! Here you go!

It was harmless, harmless you told yourself.

But it stung like the sting of a wasp.

"She's like a bloody koala to you! You got to make sure you have your own life, mate!"

Frozen in your place, you felt your bladder harden despite your recent bathroom trip. Your heart was racing, and you breathed in...and out...and in...and out...but it was not stopping. You felt the rage, thick in your body. Screaming. Ready. The distant 80s tunes blasting from the Bluetooth Speaker felt distant even though it was near you.

So, you charged from your corner in the party. The red cup, drained of drink, almost crumpled in your hand as you slowly, angrily crushing it. Words pouring out before you could control them.

“I heard that, Ben,” you said.

The blonde and red heads whipped towards you. Their faces pure white.

You looked right at Joe.

“So, I’m clingy, huh? Like every other girl, huh? Won’t let you even play one video game while sucking your dick because I’m just a girl, isn’t it?”

“Y/N, please…”

“How dare I like you, Joe, how dare I…I even show myself- that’s not what you wanted. You wanted a maid you didn’t have to pay, right?”

“I didn’t, please!”

You turned around and marched out. Though Lucy ran up to say hi, you ignored her and marched away. You opened the door and stepped out. The thick summer air was filled with heat contrasted to the icy Air Conditioning of the house. You heard crickets chirp and there was a firefly or two floating around. A big landed on your leg and you swatted at it with a “HRRGH” from your mouth. Secretly you wished it was Joe’s face.

“Y/N, listen, please, I’m begging…”

Speak of the devil.

You turned around to see him. Him. Him, him, him, him. Your chest burst with a bittersweet love. The angry kind. The kind that made you so furious because the attack came from someone you loved so much. A random stranger? Not as much. But coming from Joe? You might as well be shot, you emotional mind thought.

“Why should I? I heard Ben’s words…” you spat.

He walked forward, extending his gentle hand.

“Y/N, here’s the context…are you ready for that?”

His hazel eyes looked big and sad. His mouth in a slightly open frown and his face pale. Hesitantly, you accepted his hand.

“I was telling Ben about the time I didn’t want to go shopping and how you had this pout that you do…you know…”

He mimicked it and you had to admit, it was exact.

“And how you asked me why…and it was because, you know, how I’m trying to budget so I can have that trip. Okay?” he explained.

You nodded, recalling. A couple tears welled in your eyes, and you wiped them with your sleeve. Another one came up and he wiped it with his thumb.

“Sweetheart…I know we…we’re a PDA couple…like, you’re so damn hot I can’t keep my hands off of you anytime…” he quipped.

You couldn’t help but smile and look down for a bit. Even in arguing Joe was a giant flirt.

“You know Ben saw that and he…can jump to conclusions. You know…” he explained. “But I never, never called you too clingy or any of that…why would I?”

You sighed and looked up at him. The dance music changed to a more soulful ballad from inside.

“I just…I was scared that…that when I thought I could totally be myself around you I…” you explained, words fumbling.

“Well, how many times have you seen me scream at baseball while stuffing half a hot dog down my mouth at once?” Joe asked.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“Several times!”

“And how do you think of that? Gross? Stupid?”

“No, it’s endearing!”

He looked at you, holding your face and listing your qualities, your silly, goofy moments that were completely, uniquely you.

“Why would I love you less for that? Or that you like to hug on me all the time? It’s you!”

“And you’re you Joe…”

“But anyways, I am very sorry…. for all of this. That you even had to…had to doubt that I didn’t…didn’t like you as you are.” He explained.

“I…I just didn’t hear the whole conversation…I was being silly…”

“You were protecting yourself. That’s one reason I admire you, Y/N…”

You reached over and kissed his cheek kindly. You heard the door creak open. Ben stood there; cheeks flushed.

“Y/N, Jesus Christ, I’m a dickhead, please…please forgive me! I wasn’t thinking!” he begged.

Breathing easily, you put a hand before him.

“I…I forgive you, Ben. I’ve said things I regret too!” you reassured.

His shoulders relaxed. For the rest of the night, he chatted to you. Getting to know you better, sprinkling in the extra apology or two.

And with Joe holding your hand, you smiled, nodded, and laughed. At peace.

#carrie writes #anon requests #joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello x fem! reader #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello x fem! y/n #bohrap boys #bohrap cast #joe mazzello fanfiction #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello angst #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello comfort

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lihikainanea · 2 years

Note

OMG pls i just thought of this skbdjdhd

what if one day tiger is just really down in the gutter, feels terrible about how she looks or how things are looming on her and she’s just being really distant, and after some coaxing bill finally gets her to spill the beans. she’s talking just terrible about herself because that’s how she’s feeling rn. and good ole bill

“what what you say, that’s my girl you’re talking about” DHDHDJDP I CANT - new anon

Anonymous asked:

Is Tiger insecure or jealous over all the many women Bill had to kiss and simulate sex with?

Ohhhh how I love these thoughts. I think these are two birds of a feather.

Like any normal human being, I think tiger sometimes gets intimidated by Bill's world. The opulence of it. The beauty of it. The beauty of the people in it. The people who make it in Hollywood do so because they have faces and bodies that looks extraordinary on camera, compared to a normal girl like tiger who can barely stand to hear the sound of her own voice.

It's a lot, for any normal human. But when Bill has a big movie coming out, or say--a long series--it kind of gets worse for tiger.

Especially something like Clark, that has a lot of sex scenes.

Tiger's insecurities kind of go off the rails, when that happens. And the worst part is, she keeps it to herself--because she doesn't want to make this about her. This is Bill's project, something he's worked so hard on, and she's incredibly proud of him. He's beaming at her when they watch it together, looking for her approval, and she doesn't want to do anything or say anything that would take away from his moment. He's worked so hard on this, she had a front row seat to the top this role took on him, and the end product is fantastic. He's proud of it, too. He talks her ear off about it, constantly asks her what she thinks, he wants her full honest opinion on it.

And you know what? It's great. Bill is incredible. This is one of his best performances to date, he poured his whole heart and soul into it, and she really is proud.

So she shoves her own monsters back in that dark, deep closet and tries to ignore them.

But the series is a hit, and Bill is being praised across the globe. Cult-like followings are developing everywhere including on shit like reddit, one of tiger's favourite sites, and suddenly nothing feels safe anymore. Everywhere she looks, there are pictures and gifs of him in the series, and tiger's anxiety goes tenfold when it's time for the red carpet. She eschews the premiere--it's far away and she can't get the time off work--he understands, it happens sometimes. So he goes alone, but now tiger is also being flooded with photos of him and his beautiful, perfect co-stars that he has about a million buck naked sex scenes with.

It's a lot.

By the time Bill gets back, tiger has basically shut down. It takes him awhile to realize because he's on cloud nine, he's still so pumped and so proud of his work and she’s so proud of him, but it’s just...it’s a lot.

And like always, the first thing she does is shirk his affection once he gets back under the guise of like...she just doesn’t feel well. Except by now, Bill knows. This is always tiger’s first move when she’s being really down on herself, to always just kind of avoid any physical contact with him. But Bill also knows that in that moment, maybe it’s better not to press it. He will find a better time.

And it turns out he doesn’t have to wait too long, once they eat and he talks to her excitedly about everything that happened. Maybe she starts to clean up and Bill just sneaks off, runs a bubble bath. And he comes to get her, with those big puppy dog eyes of his, and he just gently leans his forehead on hers.

“Please?” he mumbles, “I missed you, kid.”

And listen, tiger is dealing with some issues but a candlelit bubble bath, with her Big Dude squeezed in behind her? She’s not made of stone. So she lets him drag her to the bathroom, but she undresses quickly and sinks into the bubbles when he goes to get two glasses of whisky.

He sighs, but he squeezes in behind her anyway. And Bill is a real patient man, he’s become very comfortable in silence, so he just quietly holds her for a few long minutes. Just holds her pressed into his chest, his nose in her hair, breathing rhythmically.

“Talk to me?” he whispers in her ear.

And tiger, to her credit, she’s getting better. Maybe this is something that she’s been working on in therapy, and--I LOVE THIS THOUGHT--maybe she was even vulnerable enough and strong enough to invite Bill to a few therapy sessions with her, so he could learn how to love her a little louder in times like these. How to help her break out of it. She’s getting better at being honest about it.

“I don’t feel good, about....me,” she says quietly.

Bill stays silent.

“You’re forever surrounded by perfect looking women bud,” she continues after a long moment, “Sometimes I can rationalize it, and sometimes I can't.”

“And this week was one of the weeks where you couldn’t?” he asks.

“Exactly,” she sighs, “You were....you are amazing, Bill. The whole series. You’re incredible. But it’s uh, it’s a lot of sex. With a lot of perfect women who look nothing like me.”

“What’s our rule about using the word perfect, kid?” he reminds her gently. This was something that was brought up in her therapy sessions, and tiger’s constant need to strive for it--perfection. She needs to be reminded that perfect is a fucking myth.

“Not to,” she grumbles.

“Why?”

“Because nothing--nobody--is perfect.”

“Good,” he kisses the shell of her ear softly, “What else is bugging you?”

Tiger’s quiet for a moment.

“It bugs me that those women are considered beautiful, and they look nothing like me,” she continues, “So then by default, if that’s beautiful, and I’m not that, then...”

She trails off.

“Choose your next words carefully,” he says in warning, “That’s my girl you’re talking about.

Tiger just sighs, and Bill hugs her closer.

“Tiger, the women I work with--their entire careers are based off of the way they look, first and foremost. The same goes for me. If I didn’t have a googly face that lent well to cameras, I wouldn’t be able to find work,” he explains, “They make millions because they look good, and they use those millions to continue to look good.”

“I know that,” she grumbles, “Somewhere deep down.”

“You know what’s beautiful to me, kid?” he asks, “The way you always leave me a plate of food in the microwave, when I come home late. The way you instinctively cuddle in closer to me in your sleep, when I put my arm around you. The way your lips tilt up and your whole face lights up when you smile that special way, that’s just for me. The way you give yourself to me time and time again, and the amount of trust you have in me to keep you safe. The way you look when you first wake up, all sleepy and the moment your eyes open, you’re smiling at me. And this freckle, right....” he presses his lips gently to the back of her shoulder, “Here. I love this freckle. All of that is beautiful kid. All of that is perfect.”

“But it’s not the--”

“You’re goddamn right it’s not the same,” he interrupts, “Because nobody is paying me millions to be here, right now, with you. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. That’s what matters. This isn’t work, it’s real. And it’s you, kid.”

She sighs.

“Somewhere deep down I know that too,” she says softly.

“But I’ll keep telling you, just in case,” he murmurs into her hair, “I love you, kid.”

#BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfic #bill skarsgard fiction #bill skarsgard fic

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sanjisassymetricaleyebrows · 1 year

Text

Blue Bird (Kakashi x Reader)

Alright so this is my very first fic I'm writing so lord please have mercy on me

OKAY I KNOW THIS IS CRINGE, CHEESY, SHORT, AND CORNY ASF BUT IVE HAD THIS IDEA ON MY MIND FOR A MONTH NOW FORGIVE ME FGGFJHGFJGF

pls just think of this as one of those filler episodes :,)

(Kakashix GN reader)

You had always enjoyed singing, and had been practicing with your guitar for months. Finally, you had convinced Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to join you in starting a band. It wasn't easy to convince them, but eventually, they all agreed. You were thrilled to have them on board, and you couldn't wait to show Kakashi what you had been working on.

It was Kakashi's birthday in a few days, and you wanted to surprise him with a special gift. You had written a song, "Blue Bird," and you were planning to perform it for him. The song was about hope and perseverance, and you thought it was the perfect gift for Kakashi, who had taught you and your friends to never give up.

The day of the performance arrived, and you and Team 7 gathered in a small clearing in the forest. You had brought some equipment, and you set it up quickly. You took a deep breath, picked up your guitar, and started playing the first chords of "Blue Bird."

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura started playing their instruments, and you started singing. The lyrics flowed out of you effortlessly, and you poured all of your heart and soul into the performance. Kakashi arrived just as you were finishing the song, and he was surprised to see all of you there.

"Happy birthday, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

Kakashi looked at you in confusion, wondering what was going on. You smiled at him and explained that you had formed a band and written a song for him.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Kakashi said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Let me hear the song."

You nodded and started playing "Blue Bird" again. This time, Kakashi listened intently to the lyrics and the melody. As you finished the song, Kakashi clapped, a genuine smile on his face.

"That was amazing," he said. "Thank you, everyone. That was the best birthday gift I've ever received."

You blushed, feeling a warm sensation in your chest. You had never seen Kakashi so happy before, and it was all thanks to your song. You couldn't have been happier.

After the performance, you all sat down and ate some cake that Sakura had baked. You talked and laughed, enjoying each other's company. Kakashi thanked you again for the gift, and you felt a rush of joy at his kind words.

As the sun started to set, you packed up your equipment and said goodbye to your friends. You walked home, feeling proud of what you had accomplished. You had started a band, written a song, and given Kakashi the best birthday present ever. It was a day that you would never forget, and you knew that Kakashi felt the same way.

The day of the performance arrived, and you and your bandmates gathered in a small clearing in the forest. You had brought some equipment, and you set it up quickly. You took a deep breath, picked up your guitar, and started playing the first chords of "Blue Bird."

"Happy birthday, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

Kakashi looked at you in confusion, wondering what was going on. You smiled at him and explained that you had formed a band and written a song for him.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Kakashi said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Let me hear the song."

You nodded and started playing "Blue Bird" again. This time, Kakashi listened intently to the lyrics and the melody. As you finished the song, Kakashi clapped, a genuine smile on his face.

"That was amazing," he said. "Thank you, everyone. That was the best birthday gift I've ever received."

You blushed, feeling a warm sensation in your chest. You had never seen Kakashi so happy before, and it was all thanks to your song. You couldn't have been happier.

Man I probably wont be posting for a while now

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hakate #first fic pls send help #naruto #sasuke #sakura #blue bird

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sketchguk · 3 months

Note

oh my goodness, just read Part Time Lover and i'm destroyed. i had to stop several times at the start of the smut scene to screech and smile because of how overwhelmingly sweet/innocent it was. you have such a way with words, the way you made me feel the intenseness of their feelings for one another. i felt it in my chest. it physically TOOK ME OUT. i couldnt breathed. pls i cannot even. it was beautiful. i can never usually read 30k in one sitting but i did, and i could read 100k in one sitting if it was your writing. obsessed. i will never forget that fic. oh my god.

same anon that just sent that ask about Part Time Lover. dude i just can't tell you how much i felt their passion for each other. i havent felt that way reading something in a long time. i used to post bts fanfic here some years ago but writing became difficult for me. reading that fic, god that was like magic. it ignited something in me. it's made me want to try writing again. ive dusted off some of my old wips. your use of language is so advance and beautiful. i truly feel like i've never read something like that before, and i never will again because it was just that good. im new to your blog and i cant wait to read more. PLS I CANT. my words are not enough to ever describe to you how much i enjoyed the experience of reading that. it was a privilege. i feel LUCKY i had the pleasure of coming across that fic. like everyone else is missing out. everyone around me on the bus has no idea what kind of experience i just went through reading that and they're MISSING OUT.

I don't know what else to say but thank you 😭 This is so sweet of you, and I'm eternally grateful you've taken the time out of your day to check out my work (nevertheless offer me such kind praise)! I poured my heart and soul into part time lover. It's a special fic to me <3

I'm actually going to spontaneously combust because what do you mean my fic ignited something in you !!!!! 😭 There's no way lil ol' me was able to do that. Nevertheless, my happiness for you is immeasurable !! 💛 Good luck with writing, and I hope you enjoy the process even if it's taxing and gruesome !! But that's not to say it isn't rewarding in the end, especially knowing that you're honing your skills and expressing your creativity <3

I'll have you know that I was on a writing hiatus for 2 years prior to posting part time lover. It was a miracle how I pulled out 30k words after deleting draft after draft. Just know that persistence is key. Don't give up when things are tough ! And consume as much media as you can, even if it's reading other amazing fics 💛

#i just know that you were/are a delight to have in class <3 #ask #anon #ask: part time lover #happy tag

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agentstarkid · 8 months

Text

ROHAYHU ✦ DR3

“Rohayhu is an expression in the Guaraní language that serves to describe a deep feeling of love towards another person. It's believed that there are two variants of the story of its origin and in both situations, the couple falls in love almost from the first meeting. That feeling seems to grow rapidly over time. In an effort to show their affections through an expression that was only understandable to both of them, one of them proposed the word "Rohayhu" as the way to say "I love you." In this way, when one said it, the other would be able to understand the intention behind those words.”

✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ type: social media au

✦ fc: becky g

✦ warnings: female!reader, covid-19 & quarantine mentions, age gap, language.

✦ pit wall live: Holiiiii babes! ✨ I'm sososo happy you guys liked Serendipity as much as you did, I was honestly so anxious! I really cheerished each and every single one of your feedbacks 🤍 I'm also sooo sorry it took me so long to post part 2 but honestly I wouldn't even be posting this today if it wasn't for @onceuponaoneshotfanfic 🤍 she listened to all my ramblings and gave me so many great ideas when I was feeling stuck! 😭 On another note, I'm pretty sure most of you guys never heard of the guaraní language and that's okay because here I am to shed a bit of light on it 😉. Guaraní it's one of the official languages of my country (along with spanish) and, in my humble opinion, it sounds so romantic and elegant. And as much as I'm trying to keep the reader's nationality pretty ambiguous, I had to give my culture a little role in this story somehow. By the way, Ro is pronounced with a flicked R sound, not rolled and the O is /ŏ/. Hayhu sounds like 'Hi who'.

I really hope you enjoy this one! Every feedback is appreciated 🥰

─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)

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JUNE 08, 2020

INTERVIEW: The most romantic side of Y/N L/N! | LatinxNow!

The singer reveals all about how she's spending lockdown down under, her new cooking show and how her fans "know the one she's in love with".

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danielricciardo

1,191,050 views • liked by pierregasly, corey_wilson and 204,490 others

danielricciardo Happy Monday kids. Don't forget to be kind 😉🤠🤘

View all 3,998 comments

user 2 hands on the wheel, please Daniel

user2 yourinstagram we'd love an epic car sing along 👀

user3 you're a goddamn treasure to the Y/N-nation sir! 😍

yourinstagram Can't decide if I'm flattered or filing for copyright infringement 🤔

danielricciardo Guess I'm taking over your career now 😘 yourinstagram let's stick to our day jobs mate 👍🏼 you're lucky you're cute tho 😘

user4 he's NOT being slutty enough. pop that leggy up on the seat pls

user5 how can one be so hot and so cringe at the same time

user6 it's his brand™

user7 does anyone else want to empty their bank account to see him on stage with y/n?

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JUNE 16, 2020

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scottyjames31 and marcusstoinis have added to their stories!

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JUNE 20, 2020

yourinstagram has added to their story!

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JUNE 30, 2020

yourinstagram

♡ liked by lewishamilton, karolg, pierregasly and 8,452,325 others

yourinstagram Most of the things I had planned this summer didn’t end up happening, but there are two things I hadn’t planned on that DID happen. And those things are finding someone whose love feels like daylight, warm and full of new beginnings, and my 5th studio album, Vesper. SURPRISE! 🌟🤗 Brace yourselves, lovelies! During these tough times, I turned to music and created something truly magical. I've been pouring my dreams, hopes, heart and soul into this project. I'm beyond thrilled to unveil my entire brand new album featuring a collection of heartfelt love songs dedicated to the one who always keeps my creative flame alive 🃏❤️. Love has a funny way of inspiring art, I wrote and recorded this music in isolation but got to collaborate with some musical geniuses! Better set your alarms, it'll be released TONIGHT at the stroke of midnight as a heartfelt gift to you and to my muse! 🎂 ALSO keep an eye out for Los Besos' music video! 👀 I really hope you guys enjoy this little piece of my heart as much I did recording it! Love you guys so much ❤️

View all 20,975 comments

user THE COVER PHOTOS HELLOOO??? THE VIDEO???? WHAT. THE. FUCKITY. FUCK.

user2 DAN-Y/N WE STAY WINNING BABY!!!! KI KI KI RAAA!!

user2 if they ever break up i'm gonna burn down this entire city 🙂

user3 "my muse" lol does anyone know how much it cost a toaster so I can take a shower with it? :)

user4 i'm climbing the walls banging my fists screaming my lungs out crying throwing up dying

arianagrande I'm claiming #6 because that would be me after I listen to this album

itsvittoriasousa the girls and I are claiming #1 🤭

sebastianyatra off to break records once again, penguin 🤟🏼

mauyricky we loved working with you and jpsaxe, sis! the world needs another collab it's been too long since mi mala 👀😈

user5 sooo she just said lemme make these bitches lose their minds by writing a whole ass album about how in love I am with this bloke and drop it outta nowhere on his birthday

user SHE IS INSANE! Y/N baby he is just a man 😫😫😫

lewishamilton I already pre-saved it 🙏🏾 Congrats sis! 💜

user a XNDA and Y/N collab when????? 👀👀👀

user6 danielricciardo I hope u are aware of how fucking lucky you are and that you treasure and worship the woman that she is 🔪🔪🔪

*danielricciardo and 6,852 others liked this comment*

danielricciardo so incredibly proud, chip ❤️

yourinstagram Love notes for my number one fan 😘 user WE'VE GOT A RED HEART GUYS!! 😱 FUCK THEY ARE SO CUTE 😭 user2 HE CALLS HER CHIP 😫❤️ do I know what it means? fuck no but it sounds so cuteeee!!!

user7 danielricciardo sir I need to know to which god you prayed to

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danielricciardo

📍 Monaco

♡ liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly, fioamato and 952,684 others

danielricciardo A big thanks for my birthday wishes! Gotta say this year is looking pretty 🍑 great 😏 3 days to go 🏁

View all 3,097 comments

yourinstagram You may be fast, but can you handle the curva grande? 🤭

danielricciardo oh baby don't threaten me with a good time 😏 userA I think we annoyed them too much asking for a hard launch and now they are being fucking horny and unhinged online 😳 userB Do y'all need a dog? I can bark userC userB nah daniel's scared of dogs lol I volunteer as their rug though

user I'm gonna need 35 to 365 business days to recover from THAT bro 🤯

fioamato seems like you had a lot of cake 👀

danielricciardo sabroso 😏 userA DANIEL??!!!!! 😳 userB HE'S BEING HORNY ON MAIN FOR HER BITCH ME TOO TF 🥵

user4 he's INSANE!! SIR YOU CAN'T DROP THIS ON US JUST LIKE THIS!!!!!

userA my brain isn't functioning after this. it changed me forever 🤯 userB Daniel really is a menace first and a human second 😩 userC how am I supposed to live laugh love under these conditions??? userD THAT SHOULD BE MEEE

user7 THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME OKAY?

pierregasly happy birthday bro! hope you enjoyed the cake 😉

natalie_pinkham Idyllic first official shot 😍

user8 I used to pray for times like this 😭😭😭😭

chloestroll STUNNING ❤️😍 (her not you)

yourinstagram ❤️❤️❤️

user9 i'm so used to giving and now i get to receive 😭

user10 man you really won the fucking lottery like DAMN MAMI 🥵

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JULY 5, 2020

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AUGUST 12, 2020

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─── Please don't forget to reblog & comment! ♡

#daniel ricciardo x reader #latina!reader #f1 social media au #daniel ricciardo social media au #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x female reader #famous!reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo instagram au #f1 x reader #( agentstarkid's works )

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taelme · 2 years

Note

ok so i just read what you posted and apparently its abt a doyoung vampire fic... A DOYOUNG VAMPIRE FIC!!! THAT INVOLVES SOULMATES!!! PINING!!! AND TSWIFT REFERENCES!!! oh my god pls take my money i am so excited for that but i cannot wait as well 😭 i am so fixated with slow burn/angsty/pining doyoung bcs he seems to be a patient but determined person... like the essence of pining is made for him bcs he can wait but he aint giving up easily until he gets what he wants AND ALSO YOU JUST LISTED MY FAVORITE TAYLOR SONGS

🌻🌻

YES!! exactly exactly u get it. but honestly idt ill get it done soon cause my deadlines are kind of piling up these few weeks but hopefully it wont be too long of a wait HAHHA but yes!! i completely agree. everytime i think of soul crushing gut wrenching pining my thoughts immediately go to doyoung too like .... he rly rly strikes me as the kind of guy to just ... pour out his heart n soul into the act of loving you once he knows he's made up his mind on you..... BUT YES!! hopefully soon

#taelme #replies #🌻 anon #im excited #i have a lot of ideas floating in my head right now #but the outline isnt rly fleshed out yet

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wanderingcas · 5 years

Text

ao3.

“Hey.” Sam tilts his chin in the direction over Dean’s shoulder. “2 o’clock.”

Dean glances over his shoulder. Cas, who is sitting next to him in the booth, likewise cranes his head, albeit a little more obviously because the newly human ex-angel still has no sense of manners.

He knows what Sam is gesturing to immediately: brunette, leggy, skirt on the northside of too short. He distinctly remembers the predatory face she made when he asked her back to his hotel room.

“Didn’t you hook up with her last time we were in town?” Sam asks in a hushed voice.

Dean pokes a fork at his scrambled eggs. “Uh, yeah. I think so.”

“Well, go talk to her!”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

Sam scoffs, giving him the Younger Sibling Incredulous Look. “Didn’t you say you liked her?”

“You’re right, Sam. I did like her. So naturally, the next step is me getting down on one knee and saying I want to have her babies.”

Cas scrunches his forehead. “I have two questions.”

“Colloquialisms, Cas,” Dean says shortly. He stabs a sausage link and savagely chews it, pointing his fork in Sam’s direction. “I got a rule and you know that. I don’t double-dip. Comes with the job.”

To Cas’s confused expression, Sam explains, “He means he never sleeps with someone twice, or he might catch feelings.” Cas continues to stare. Sam adds, “Fall in love.”

“Why would that be bad?” Cas asks.

“Have you seen our profession?” Dean scoffs. “Ain’t for me, that whole thing. But sex is good,” he adds with an especially leering grin.

Sam groans into his coffee. “You’re gross.”

“Love is bad,” Cas says musingly. He takes a bite of his waffle drenched in syrup. “I think I understand.”

“No, just—” Dean sighs. “Forget it. Maybe when you’re more human it’ll click.”

Cas looks at him curiously as he chews. Dean needs to look away.

* * *

“There’s too much of your mother in you,” John used to say.

Too much empathy.

Too much love.

It’s what got her killed, after all.

* * *

“You know, you need to define it. Whatever it is.”

There’s movement by the barn door that catches Dean’s eye; it’s only a flash of bird’s wings glinting in the dark. He makes a noncommittal sound and sinks further into his seat, the leather creaking.

“Seriously, Dean,” Sam continues, “it’s not healthy. For either of you.”

If that creepy farmer guy comes back, that’s their man, Dean decides. He’s never trusted anyone with a limp, anyway.

“Dean.”

“I heard ya,” Dean barks. “Are you going to focus on this case or not?”

“We need to talk about this.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. We don’t.” Dean squints in the dark, sees a hobbling figure approaching the barn, a familiar and stolen spell book in his hands. “Knew it was him.”

“I just worry about you.” Sam loads and cocks a gun. “Both of you.”

“It’s our business, Sam. Drop it.” Dean opens the Impala’s door, the hinges protesting. “You take his right, I’ll take the left.”

* * *

Kissing Cas is second nature now. It’s not like the awkward fumbling when they first slammed together, stuffing themselves into a supply closet so Sam wouldn’t find them, hands shaking and Dean’s ass being poked by a broom as Cas pressed desperately against him.

Kissing him, in fact, is easy: Dean’s gotten used to the texture of Cas’s lips (soft but unyielding), the way that he can make Cas hitch a surprised breath (biting his lower lip with a soft graze of his teeth), the feeling of Cas’s warm hands pressing against Dean’s back.

Even the sex has gotten easy.

But then there’s the after: where Cas sits on the edge of Dean’s bed, adjusting his tie against his open collar, frowning at the ground. The pause has become longer and longer, before he finally stands and leaves the room with a soft, “Goodnight, Dean.”

And Dean’s eyes are beginning to linger on the closed door longer than they should.

* * *

“What do you want to do as a human, Cas? Anything. Name one thing.”

Cas looks up from his cereal, hair sticking up in impossible ways and squinting at Sam. “More sleep sounds amenable.”

Sam’s laugh bounces across the kitchen’s tiles. “No, something fun that you couldn’t do as an angel. It’s time to get out and find something you like.”

“Like eating crappy diner food,” Dean suggests across the table.

“Or starting a garden,” Sam adds.

“Or eating crappy pizza.”

“Or biking.”

“Or setting the record for eating the biggest cheeseburger.”

Sam flicks a spoon at Dean’s arm. Dean leans back in his chair and grins.

Looking between them, Cas frowns. “I’m not sure what activities there are to do as a human.”

Dean says, “No wrong choice.” He considers for a moment. “Well, except all of Sam’s suggestions.”

Sam huffs a frustrated breath.

“Maybe biking?” Cas says, tentatively. “I’ve seen that activity before, and it looks enjoyable.”

“We don’t have bikes, Cas,” Dean says.

“But we can rent some!” Sam says, pulling out his phone and waving it wildly. “Wichita has a bike sharing program now! You can go anywhere in the city!”

“Oh, goody,” Dean says.

The drive to Wichita is mind-numbing, teaching Cas how to even balance on a bike is time-consuming. But finally, after the hundred or so time of Dean lightly pushing Cas’s back to give him a pedaling start, Cas stays upright rather than collapsing to the ground.

Dean feels stupid for being in a flannel and boots on a bicycle. Sam keeps reaching over and pinching Dean’s cheek while they’re riding. But then they get to a tall hill overlooking the city skyline, sun setting on the backdrop, and Cas turns around to smile all sweaty and bright-eyed at Dean, the happiest Dean’s seen him in well, ever, and Dean can’t suppress an answering smile.

Looking back, maybe that’s the moment he knew.

But maybe his heart rate was only fast from the exercise, and his lightheaded, dizzy feeling was him not having enough to eat or the heat getting to him.

Maybe.

* * *

Dean didn’t intend to overhear it. Cas and the old guy they were interviewing was in the next room, and Dean was in the tiny corner kitchen. The old man’s house was dated, sure, but Dean didn’t expect the walls to be practically paper.

“You know what’s most important in the world, son?” asks the man’s fuzzy baritone.

Cas falters, says, “Uh… no. What’s most important?”

“Love. That’s what.”

Dean rolls his eyes. They weren’t going to get anything about the neighborhood poltergeist out of this guy. His brain obviously flew into the cuckoo’s nest a long time ago.

“Oh,” Cas replies. “I see.”

“When you have something to hold onto that you love, or someone, then it makes life that much more worth it. If a dying old man like me can tell you anything, let it be that. You know what I’m saying?”

Dean’s not sure why he’s holding his breath; especially not sure why his chest constricts to a painful pitch when Cas replies, softly, “I don’t have much experience with what you’re describing.”

“Maybe you will one day,” the old man says.

Dean stares down at the countertop, chipped and broken at the edges.

“Maybe,” Cas tonelessly replies.

* * *

He didn’t mean for it to happen.

It just kind of snuck up on him and happened.

Over time, Cas’s smiles began chain-reacted a fuzzy feeling in his throat. Cas’s rarely-heard laugh made his skin feel like it was on fire. Cas’s hands simply skimming over Dean’s bare skin made him feel like every cell and molecule that made up Dean was reaching for Cas, begging for more.

Even Cas’s eyes holding his made his stomach do flip-flops.

He didn’t mean for it to happen.

He didn’t mean to break his own rule.

* * *

“What is this?” Dean asks between kisses. It’s dark but he can imagine the stunned look on Cas’s face.

Cas was never one to bullshit. He says, plainly, “I don’t know.”

Dean threads his hand through Cas’s thick hair, tugs a little tighter so he’ll forget Dean’s moment of weakness. They fall back onto the bed.

* * *

“You’re a lot like Mom, you know,” Sam just comes out and says one day. Over reading a book, while sipping his coffee, like it’s no big deal.

Dean puts down his phone. Asks in a steady voice, “What?”

“She didn’t want the job either. Wanted different things.” Sam pauses. “Like a family.”

“Why the hell are you telling me this?”

Sam looks at him with way too much meaning in his eyes. “You know why.”

Too much of your mother in you.

Dean pushes against the table to stand and leaves the room.

* * *

I love you.

It’d be so easy to let it tumble out of him; to recklessly plunge headfirst off that cliff without knowing if anything would catch him.

Instead he presses it soundlessly into Cas’s skin with his lips, his hands, his fingers—I love you, I love you. And I’m terrified.

He’s worried he’s being too loud when Cas looks at him with endlessly blue eyes, seeming to respond, I know.

* * *

There’s too much blood on the floor, and Cas’s eyes are too glassy. Dean tears out of his shirt, pressing it against Cas’s wound, but there’s not enough to hold it in, not enough to stop the very essence of Cas leaking out of him—

“It’s fine.” Cas’s voice is raspy. He holds Dean’s wrist in a weak fist. “Stop, Dean.”

Dean presses the shirt harder against the wound. Cas’s eyes grab his and hold them there.

“You knew this would happen eventually.”

“No I didn’t,” Dean whispers. “I didn’t.”

“It’s the profession, Dean. You said it yourself.”

“No,” Dean says.

“Let me go.”

Dean wakes up with a harsh gasp. It takes endless moments of harsh breathing against his pillow to get his heart rate to slow.

He walks down the hall to the room where Cas sleeps. He puts a hand on the knob; hears Cas roll over on the bed inside, the bedsprings groaning.

It’s unclear how long he stands there, forehead pressed against the cool wood of the door, counting Cas’s breaths.

Cas isn’t in danger, Dean tells himself.

Not right now.

* * *

He takes Cas to a lake, because he remembers Cas saying that he misses the ocean. It’s close enough.

It’s a cold fall day, the nearby trees drooping with golden leaves, so it makes no sense to be at a beach. But Cas seems to love it. Dean opts to sit on the sand and watch Cas dip his bare toes into the gentle lapping water.

When Cas gets too cold they huddle under a blanket, shoulder to shoulder, and watch the sun sleepily dip in the horizon.

“What do you think is the most important thing in the world?” Cas asks.

“Pie,” Dean automatically replies. “Maybe burgers.”

“Be serious,” Cas demands.

Dean sighs, his breath dancing in front of him. The sun is nearly gone; they’ll have to drive back soon or Sam will have a hissy fit. He gets bitchy when Dean’s not there to make him dinner after his afternoon run.

“Dean.” Cas pokes a gentle finger into Dean’s side.

“Uh.” Dean blows into one of his hands to make it warmer. “People. Family. Love, I guess.”

Cas nods. He squints into the dying sunlight. “Falling in love can be bad, though,” he says quietly, so soft that if Dean weren’t centimeters away, he’d miss it.

“Sometimes,” Dean agrees.

They stand, brushing the sand off their jeans, and walk back to the Impala.

* * *

That night, Dean drags out every moment: every kiss, every caress, every push and pull of his hips against Cas’s.

Cas gasps, and Dean swallows the sound with his lips. Every nerve in him feels like a firecracker ready to burst. In all his life, he’s never been so focused one one human being, on one beautiful, devastating, terrifying ex-angel sprawled underneath him.

Too much empathy.

Too much goddamn love.

When Cas leaves his bedroom, like he always does, Dean decides he needs to keep liquor in his room.

* * *

“You don’t look like you’re getting a lot of sleep. Neither does Cas.”

Dean knows. Doesn’t need the reminder.

“Have you guys talked it out yet? Whatever is going on between you?”

If they did, maybe there’d be more sleeping.

* * *

So it goes, Vonnegut wrote. Dean remembers dissecting that line in high school English, reading way more analyses than what was required for the assignment.

A nod to the existential. At death that inevitably comes.

Dean wonders if it could apply to love, too.

“I’m going to stop coming to your room,” Cas says to Dean.

Jesus Christ, Sam is sitting right there, Dean wants to say. Instead he stares, forkful of spaghetti halfway to his mouth.

“I’m gonna go… research,” Sam says, fumbling with his chair and vacating the kitchen.

Cas and Dean stare at each other.

“I’m going to stop coming to your room,” Cas says again.

“No, I—I heard you.” Dean puts down his fork. “I just. Why?”

Cas laces his hands in front of him. “When we began our physical relationship, I thought it was of benefit to you. You seemed happier and more relaxed. However, the past few weeks have taken the opposite toll. You seem anxious and the circles under your eyes are a clear indication you’re not getting a good rest. So I think it’s best if we stop.”

There’s a simmering in Dean’s gut. “You. You want to.” He clenches his fist against his knee. “You want to end this because I look tired?”

“No. I want to end this because you look like someone died every time after we have sex.”

“So fucking dramatic,” Dean scoffs. He stands and grabs his plate roughly off the table. “Well, if you wanna end it, fine by me. Just stop coming to my room.”

“All right,” Dean hears Cas say behind him.

Dean stands at the sink for a moment. The simmering pitches to a full-blown boil. He throws the plate in the sink, ceramic shattering. He whirls around to see Cas, staring, wide-eyed. “Seriously, Cas? Seriously?”

“Seriously what?” Cas volleys.

“How can you act like it’s nothing? Over and over—Jesus.” Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. “I should have known better, I really should have but I—every fucking time, it’s the same.”

Cas stands. “I’m not acting like it’s nothing.”

“Yes you goddamn are. Every night, you leave. Every morning, you act like nothing happened. Even now you’re just calmly ending the thing like it was a business transaction. Even as a human you’re as emotionless as a goddamn rock.”

“That’s not fair,” Cas says, his face contorting.

“Then tell me I’m wrong,” Dean shouts. “Tell me this all meant something to you.”

Cas is still like stone, just staring, so Dean scoffs, “That’s what I thought,” and makes his quick exit.

He’s halfway down the hallway when something grabs his shoulders, pushes him into the wall. Cas leans in close.

“You don’t understand,” he says. “You never did. I feel—I do feel.”

Dean whispers, on the precipice of something he doesn’t want to name, “Then why did you leave every goddamn time?”

Cas tilts his head. “Falling in love is bad,” he says. “I understand. Now that I’m more human, I understand.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Dean chokes out.

Too much of your mother in you.

“How did you mean it?”

He can’t do this now. Not with Cas staring at him like this. Like he’s the singular most important person in the world. “I’m scared,” he says. “I could lose you.”

“I could lose you.” Cas holds Dean’s shoulders tight. “But I love you all the same.”

Dean shakes his head. Says softly in the space between them, “That’s too much love.”

“No such thing,” Cas insists, capturing Dean’s mouth with his, not letting him give anymore excuses.

* * *

They lie in Dean’s bed, simply holding each other. It’s warm. Dean likes the way that Cas is playing with his hair, likes the feeling of Cas’s breath on his cheek.

“What is this?” Dean asks. Afraid to, but does it anyway.

“Whatever you want it to be.”

Dean frowns. Grabs Cas’s hand and winds his fingers tight around him. “Don’t leave tonight.”

Cas presses a kiss into Dean’s hair. “I never will.”

#WELLP THERE IT IS #hope you guys like it #destiel #destiel fic #inacatastrophicmind #destieldrabblesdaily #woefulcas #starsmish #wanderingwrites #i poured my heart and soul into this pls be kind #angst with a happy ending #miscommunication

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