#i promise i meant it as an act of survival. maybe love

[mypoisonedvine]

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗻 | joel miller x reader x emmett

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | the last thing you wanted to do was make emmett jealous, or question your loyalty to him; but as it turns out, he may be a little more supportive than you expected when he catches you looking at joel miller.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 | 7.1k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | smut - 18+ only (threesome, established relationship, sharing/hotwife kink, daddy kink, oral m and f receiving, anal and DP, creampie, light choking, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, some very gentle/mild degradation, tons and tons of praise), implied age gap (not specified, obviously reader is an adult), takes place in the last of us universe but pretty much porn without plot lol so don't overthink it

In the last year of traveling with Emmett, you’d mostly avoided the QZs.  He said that the people there were cheats and liars at best— and that’s to say nothing of the corrupt military leaders that actually ran the place.  However, desperation puts people into positions they never expected to be. 

After all, you would’ve never imagined being with a man like him, though in this case you meant it in a good way— that you never thought someone as brave and resourceful as him would want somebody like you.

But, that said, you made yourself useful when you could.  The best thing you could offer was your medical knowledge, and you were always the one tending to Emmett after injuries or illness.  Still, he promised that he loved you for who you were, not what you could do for him.  He was shockingly gentle, and passionate, especially for someone who had been forced to be rather ruthless to survive in this new world.

So, while you had been avoiding the quarantined areas and sticking to abandoned strips of forest and city, a lack of food out there forced you to venture to Boston— or, what was left of it.

Fortunately, you'd found more hospitality here than you expected.  Maybe it was just pity— and wanting some more of that ammo Emmett had sold him— but a man named Joel Miller had given you a place to stay and helped you earn some rations here so you could finally eat.  He reminded you of Emmett in some ways: stoic, hardworking, and generous beneath that hardened exterior.  But Emmett had become much more sensitive and open with you in your time together, and Joel was all but a stranger.  Sometimes he was so stern that he almost seemed irritated with you, but he kept letting you and Emmett stay, so he must not have been too annoyed by you.

And, you helped him how you could— like when he was in yours and Emmett’s room, sitting in the chair and talking to Emmett about something to do with tomorrow’s open jobs, and you noticed a cut across his palm.

“I-I can help with that,” you offered softly, motioning to the injury.  “Do you want me to bandage it for you?”

“It’s not that bad,” Joel shook his head.

“It’s easier to clean it now than worry about an infection later,” you reminded him.

Though he seemed a little tense, glancing at Emmett for a moment, he relented with a nod.  You smiled lightly as you stepped forward and knelt by Joel’s feet, picking up his hand and examining the cut.

Once you figured what it needed, you quickly hopped up to rifle through your bag, bringing back a disinfectant wipe and a roll of gauze.  Holding his hand open— and feeling a little flustered from touching his warm, rough skin— you carefully wiped up the cut.  “Does it hurt at all?” you asked him.

“Not too bad,” he replied lowly.

“You should see Emmett when I’ve gotta wrap him up,” you giggled, “he always acts like what I’m doing hurts more than when he actually got the injury in the first place.”

“Hey,” Emmett warned you in a stern voice, but you smiled up at Joel who returned with a small smirk.

“Alright, all better,” you hummed as you finished bandaging Joel.  “Let me know if it’s hurting you too much, that’s a bad sign.  Don’t just ignore it and act tough, okay?”

Joel seemed a little uncomfortable— if not sort of amused by— taking orders from you, but he nodded.  “I’ll let y’all get to bed now,” he decided as he stood up.  “Sleep well.  Lot of work to be done in the morning.”

“G’night,” Emmett offered him with a nod.

You felt a little strange, him standing up fully while you were still on your knees on the floor.  “Goodnight, Joel,” you said, your voice sounding sweeter and girlier than you intended.  Your face felt warm— you worried Emmett had noticed the change in your voice, too, but would he think much of it if he had?  

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything about it that night, simply pulling you close when you got into bed, burying his face in your neck.

But the next night, that was a different story.  You weren’t actually going to sleep yet, even though it was late enough for it— he’d already changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants, while you were still in your dress, but he’d laid back on top of the sheets and patted the bed, silently asking you to join him.  You smiled and obeyed, of course, leaving the lamp on as you slipped in by his side.

Emmett held you gently, rubbing your back as you laid your head on his chest.  “You’re not too tired, are you?” he asked quietly.

For what? you wondered, but just shook your head instead.

“We can stay up a little longer,” he decided.  “Didn’t get a chance to hold you all day.”

“Yeah,” you sighed wistfully, nuzzling in more as you squeezed his torso a bit.

“Or talk to you much,” he continued.

“Was there something you wanted to talk about?” you asked, looking up at him from your head’s happy place on his shoulder.

“Just something I noticed,” Emmett replied, looking back at you sweetly as he brushed your hair aside with his fingers.  "I think you've got a crush on Joel."

You froze, face getting warm in an instant.  "I-I only want you, Emmett, I swear— you know I would never—"

"Shh, shh," he soothed as he chuckled a little, "it's okay, baby.  I'm not angry with you… you're not doin' anything wrong."

"Really?" you asked nervously, and he nodded.  "I thought you might be jealous…"

He shook his head and laughed a little.

"I-I just think he's handsome," you explained, "and sort of nice— but that's really it!"

"It's alright, baby," he purred, "cause you know something?  I was talking to him earlier today, and he wants you too."

Your sat up and your eyes went wide as you tried to imagine that conversation.  You could hardly believe that that was true, let alone that Joel has admitted it to Emmett… or had Joel approached Emmett about it, asking for a night with you?  Oh god, your head already hurt trying to wrap itself around this…

"I know how hard it is to keep a naughty little thing like you satisfied," Emmett explained with a smirk, sitting up with you and speaking softly beside your ear.  “I'm willing to bring in a little… outside help."

Just then, the door opened slowly and Joel stepped inside.  You watched him, totally unsure how to feel, as he shut the door behind himself, and then his eyes met yours.

"C'mere," Emmett offered to Joel, patting the bed beside you two.  "No need to be shy, Miller."

You watched as Joel took a seat on the bed, and you looked at Emmett as you lowered your voice.  "You don't have to do this for me," you promised him softly.  "You know I love you— I only need you—"

"It's okay," he soothed as he pet your face.  "I told you, I'm not angry.  I want you to do this."

"You… want me to?"

"If you want it," Emmett replied.

You shivered as Joel leaned forward a bit, reaching out to gently rub up and down your leg.  "What do you think, princess?" he asked softly.  "Don't worry, you're not gonna hurt my feelings if you say you don't wanna—"

"I want to," you admitted quickly, afraid to lose your courage if you waited any longer to say it.

Both men smiled at you as you looked back and forth between them; Joel's warm brown eyes against Emmett's steely blue ones… they were so similar, and so opposite, in so many impossible ways.

Without saying anything, Joel suddenly lifted your chin and guided you into a kiss.

You felt strange kissing someone other than Emmett, something you hadn't done in quite some time.  Joel's lips weren't as soft as Emmett's, and his kiss wasn't as gentle; he moved his hand to the back of your neck to hold you close, gently pressing his tongue into your mouth.  It wasn't too aggressive or anything, but it was certainly quite forward.  Emmett's hands were still on you, gently rubbing your back, and you reached back to find and hold one just as your other arm wrapped around Joel's broad shoulders.

Joel made you gasp by breaking away to kiss at your neck instead; you squeezed Emmett's hand slightly.  "Fuck, she sounds so pretty," Joel noticed when you moaned at his teeth teasing your pulse.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed.  "She can get loud, too, so let's just hope she doesn't wake anybody up…"

Joel pulled your hand away from Emmett's and guided it to the bulge in his jeans; you sighed as you felt it, a hot feeling stirring in your chest.  "See how you got me all worked up already?" he scolded you playfully.  "C'mon and take it out for me."

Your hands were shaking more than you realized when you brought them to unfasten his belt… it felt new, and exhilarating, and a little scary as well, to be with someone new after so long.  But you remembered when it was new with Emmett and it felt like this, exciting and weird and wonderful all at the same time.  But you'd known Emmett longer before anything happened between you— you'd only met Joel a few days ago.

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose when you reached into his boxers and wrapped your fingers around his erection.  It was so hot to the touch, you were worried your fingers felt cold to him, but he didn't seem to mind much.  You shuddered as you released it from the fabric, your mouth falling slack and your hand instinctively beginning to stroke it gently.

Joel's cock wasn't as long as Emmett's, but it was thicker, with a slight curve to one side.  Regardless of exactly what it looked like, you were just amazed to see and stroke another cock but Emmett's— it had been so long, and you hadn't been with all too many people before Emmett anyways.

"Show him what you can do, baby," Emmett encouraged in a low voice, and you nodded as you leaned down to capture Joel's cock between your lips. 

He hummed as you licked and sucked the tip, swirling your tongue over the head.  But he groaned aloud when you dipped lower and took as much as you could into your mouth, letting the tip of his cock bump into the back of your throat.

Then you set your pace, hollowing your cheeks and slowly moving up and down on his length.  Your jaw ached slightly already and you'd only just started.

You felt Joel's hand on the back of your head, not pushing you down but just guiding you in your movements.

"Mm," Joel praised with a grunt.  "Your girl's got a sweet fuckin' mouth, Emmett…"

"Yeah," he agreed, "and she loves using it— gets her so wet, feel it."

You whimpered slightly as Joel reached back over you and pulled up your dress, slipping a hand inside your panties.  His fingers curled through your lips, even toying with your swollen clit for a moment, and you moaned around the thick cock in your mouth.

"Damn," Joel chuckled, "she's soaked."

You broke away from Joel and turned around, looking at Emmett expectantly as you sat on the bed.  "Can I suck you too?  Please?"

Joel chuckled a little as Emmett nodded, letting you pull his pajama pants down as his hard cock bounced free.  It was nice to get back to what you knew for a moment, and you didn't hesitate at all to take hold of him and lick a long stripe up his shaft.

Joel took the opportunity while you were facing away from him to toss up your dress and pull your panties down; he purred at the way the fabric stuck to your pussy, peeling off slowly with all the wetness there.  "Fuckin' gorgeous," Joel groaned as he got a good look at it.  

Two thick fingers rubbed over your clit until your toes curled; putting your head down in Emmett's lap to suck him sort of forced your hips up, nearly at eye-level with Joel, and feeling him explore you so gently made you feel exposed in the best way.

He slid one finger into your hole, just one, and you clenched down on him.  "Damn," Joel groaned.  "I don't know how you find the energy to do anything but fill this pretty little pussy of hers, Emmett."

But Emmett wasn't really paying attention to him— he was watching you with heavy eyes and a slack mouth, petting your hair as you bobbed your head on his cock.

"Just like that," Emmett praised you quietly.  When you moaned around him in response, it turned into a muffled cry as Joel suddenly took his finger out of you and replaced it with his tongue.  His hands held your ass and kept you spread wide for him, burying his face in your pussy and tasting everything his tongue could reach… which was a lot.  Your whole body quivered when he licked a long stripe up from the base of your clit all the way up, higher and higher, even running over that hole as you shuddered.  

Your moans vibrated through Emmett's cock and his hand in your hair tightened into a fist and tugged on you a bit.  "Fuck," Joel moaned against your soaking folds, "tastes even better than it looks."

"Feels even better than it tastes," Emmett promised with a smile, though he snarled as he pulled your head off of him by your hair and guided you into a rough, dominating kiss.  He all but threw you back towards Joel, and you were sort of dazed and moving on instinct as Joel turned you around to face him.

But as you leaned down to suck Joel's cock again, he stopped you with a hand around your neck.  "Taste yourself first," he ordered before he kissed you, diving his tongue right into your open mouth as you whined at the tangy flavor of your arousal coating his lips.  

He pulled you back from the kiss with a growl, holding your hair and examining your face— you must have looked fucked out already, panting through your mouth and looking at him as you waited for your next instruction.

“Was she always this desperate?” Joel asked Emmett, though he was still looking at you. “Or did you train her?”

“A little of column A, a little of column B,” Emmett replied with a light chuckle.

He shoved your head back down into his lap, guiding his cock to your waiting lips and groaning when you swallowed it down.  “Good fucking girl,” he praised.  “So fuckin’ dirty— damn, that tongue…”

You gagged harder on Joel’s cock when you felt Emmett toying with your clit, teasing you with slow and delicate circles that made your toes curl.  “Wanna fuck her?” Emmett asked Joel simply; your hole pulsed in anticipation.  The way they talked over you, like you weren’t even there, was sort of irritating: but it made you so desperate, and you couldn’t even figure out why.

Joel just laughed.  “Are you kidding?” he wondered.

It was Emmett’s hand that pulled you off of Joel’s cock, but Joel grabbed your neck— not too tightly, just enough to make you let a whimper out of your open mouth— and flared his nostrils as he stared closely at your face.

“Get on your hands and knees for me,” he ordered firmly, and you nodded right away.  They both let you go and you took the position, feeling a little shy again suddenly— like you had any right to be shy now.  You faced Emmett, your hands on either side of his lap as he sat up on the bed, and he reached up to hold your face as you heard Joel get up and kneel behind you.

He teased you by running the head through your folds a few times, your lip catching between your teeth as the tip bumped against your swollen clit.  Emmett studied your face closely, watching your mouth go slack and your brows knit together as Joel pushed just barely inside you.

And then you cried out, far too loud, because he shoved the rest of the way in at once.  "Shit," Joel hissed, "fuckin' tight little thing.  Fuck."

You could feel his gaze on your hole, no doubt watching himself split you open so wide, when his hands spread your ass open again for a better view.

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy,” Joel awarded it with a sigh.  “Fuck, feel how good you fuckin’ take that?  Feel how easy this big cock slides right into ya?  Such a sweet little girl…”

Easy was one way to describe it— and yes, you were wet enough that he hardly had any resistance— but it felt like too much to really be easy.  You fluttered your eyes open, not even noticing that you’d shut them, and found Emmett’s gaze still on you.  How was it possible that he was looking at you with so much pride in his eyes?  You bit your lip and returned his stare, whimpering each time Joel thrusted roughly into you.  

"How's it feel, baby?" Emmett asked you as he gently stroked your cheek.

You choked a little, not sure you could find the words for it.  "Different," you managed to blurt out, and both men chuckled a little.

"Yeah, bet it is different," Joel agreed, "don't think I'm gonna be as sweet with'ya as your old man here usually is."

Well, fair enough: Joel wasn't in love with you, so why should he treat you the same?  Actually, your thighs shook a little as you thought about that… Joel just wanted to use you, fuck you like a toy and toss you back to Emmett when he was done.  It should've been demeaning, but it made your back arch a little deeper.

"Yeah, fuck," Joel praised, "she likes that.  Wants me to fuck her harder, I can tell."

“Then do it,” Emmett instructed him.

Joel gripped your hips tightly and slammed into you, making you choke on your own cry.  “F-fuck—” you stammered, suddenly gripping Emmett’s shoulders for stability.

“God,” Joel choked behind you; you could feel the bandage you’d given him as his hands held onto your hips, keeping you steady so he could pump into you as hard and fast as he liked.

You whined and dropped your head on Emmett’s shoulder, hearing him gently soothe you as each thrust rocked you forward into him.  “Takin’ it so well,” he praised softly, “that’s my girl…”

Emmett started to push your dress down your arms and chest, exposing your tits for his big hands to rub slowly; Joel reached around and felt them too— and four hands on you felt like more than you could keep track of.  A hand running up your thighs, squeezing your ass, teasing your tits, even wrapping around your throat and threatening to tighten… you were overwhelmed, in the best way.

"God, she's so perfect," Joel breathed.  "Can't believe you let me borrow her."

"Just don't come inside her," Emmett instructed, "that's just for me."

"Fuck, I don't mind," Joel grunted, "think I'll like painting that pretty face…"

“She swallows, too,” Emmett smiled, “if you like that.”

“Like it?  Fuck,” Joel laughed, “that’s fucking hot.”

“E-Emmett,” you whimpered in protest, “I never… I’ve never done that for anybody but you…”

“Well, it’s not so different for anybody else,” Emmett assured you with a chuckle.  “You’ll swallow his come if I tell you to, won’tcha?”

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Good girl.”

That was all you really wanted— to be good for him.  And you felt your chest fill with pride knowing he was happy with you now, even if you’d never expected this to make him happy.  He could be very protective of you, and you assumed he would never want another man to lay a hand on you— he’d killed men for less, actually.  But you realized that there was a massive difference: those men had threatened to hurt you, had scared you, had tried to take you from him.  Joel was the first man other than Emmett that you’d trusted, let alone shown any interest in.  Emmett was too busy fighting off creeps to mention that he didn’t actually mind good guys getting a chance with you, apparently.

Joel kneaded a handful of your ass roughly, and you whimpered when you felt one of his fingertips start to rub gently against your other hole.  “What about this hole?” he asked with a groan.  “This just for you, too?”

Emmett grinned a bit.  “She’s only done that a few times… what do you think, baby, wanna let Joel try your ass?”

It was already quite an ordeal to get Emmett to fit in there, and you whined just imagining Joel trying to fit that thick cock in your ass— “Oh my god, she just got so fucking wet,” Joel noticed.  Clearly, imagining it was having some effect on you.  “Think she wants it— don’t ya, sweet girl?”

Though your cheeks burned with shame, you nodded, and both men chuckled darkly.  “Warm her up first,” Emmett suggested.

“Of course,” Joel agreed, “wouldn’t wanna break your toy.”

You moaned just from him saying that, before he’d even started to gently press his finger inside you.  He spit right down onto it as he slid the digit inside, making you clench around him— both ways.  He hummed lowly, twisting and curling the finger into you, still fucking your pussy (though slower than before, thank god).

You gasped as a second finger carefully slid in, almost pushing you too far and making you wince slightly— but Emmett soothed you and kissed the side of your face, rubbing your back to help keep you relaxed.  “You can take it,” Emmett promised, “be my good girl, okay?  Let him get you ready.”

You nodded and clung tighter to Emmett, moaning when Joel twisted his fingers around and even curled them a bit inside you.  “Not too much, is it?” Joel wondered when you whined loudly.

“No, she’s tougher than she looks,” Emmett answered— you sort of thought that question was for you, but you were too desperate to answer properly anyways.

Joel could pump those fingers in and out of you now, picking up the pace slightly to match the way he thrust his cock into your cunt, but when he tried to spread them a little wider he didn’t have much luck.  “Still too tight, I think,” Joel noticed with a laugh.  “Y’sure she can get stretched out enough for it?”

“Yeah,” Emmett promised, “I can help, hold on—”

He brought two fingers to your open mouth; you sucked on them instinctively, shutting your eyes and moving your head forward to swallow them as deep as you could.  What Joel said before suddenly made sense— he really did have you trained.

You bobbed and suckled on Emmett’s long fingers, hearing him whisper his praises to you before he suddenly pulled them out— your open mouth chased after them for a second, and Joel seemed to notice with a small, condescending laugh— and reached over your back, pushing the slick fingers into your hole right beside Joel’s.

“Fuck!” you yelped at the feeling, legs shaking as you realized you’d never been this full: a cock and four fingers, it was more than you’d ever imagined.

Joel groaned a little, picking up the pace of his thrusts into your pussy again, and you did your best to breathe steady as those fingers pumped in and out of you.  You couldn’t deny the way it turned you on— none of you could, you could hear it as Joel fucked you slowly.  “She’s fuckin’ dripping, Emmett,” Joel noticed with a sigh, “she really likes this little ass played with, huh?”

Emmett laughed and nodded in agreement.  “She likes doing what she’s told,” he clarified.

“Such a good little slut,” Joel praised, and you whimpered before Emmett kissed you again.

They continued that way until you worried you’d start begging for a cock in your ass if they made you wait anymore— thankfully, they didn’t make you embarrass yourself like that, Emmett felt with his fingers and saw in your eyes that you were ready.  Pulling his fingers out of you, he glanced at Joel behind you: “Go ahead,” he offered simply.

Joel’s fingers left your ass, too, and you felt empty there but different— when his cock slipped from your cunt, you gasped a little at having nothing inside you for the first time in a while, and you glanced back at him.  “Yeah,” Joel encouraged, “keep lookin’ back at me while I put my cock in your ass.”

You felt a little awkward doing that, but you did it anyways, biting your lip as he met your gaze and lined up his thick head with your stretched ass.  He was still soaked from being in your pussy, and your ass was pretty much dripping with spit now, so he didn’t have too much trouble pushing into your puckered hole— but it was still tight, and you still winced (but kept your eyes on him, of course).

Even with all that prep, you shuddered and whined as Joel slowly slid into your ass— he savored every inch, licking his lips and groaning as he stretched you wider and wider.  He seemed to just get thicker, even at the very base of him, and your eyes rolled back when he was seated in you all the way.  And then he punched his hips just that little bit more, apparently intent on burying himself in you as far as humanly possible; you gasped and hugged Emmett tighter, turning your head towards him again but shutting your eyes tight from the sting of the stretch.  

“God fucking damn,” Joel moaned, digging his fingers into the skin of your hips, clearly trying to control himself.  “Fuck, Emmett, you’ve really got yourself such a perfect little fucktoy— where’d you find her?”

Emmett smiled wide, stroking your hair and looking at your face— painted with filthy pleasure— tenderly.  “She found me,” he answered.  “Still got no fuckin’ idea how I got so lucky.”

Joel started to move, making you tighten your hands into weak fists, and set a careful pace that gave you some time to adjust… even if not quite as much as you would’ve wanted.

A sudden, sharp thrust nearly knocked you forward— thankfully Emmett was there to catch you— and you moaned loudly.  Emmett laid down slightly, letting you lay on top of him and hide your face in his chest.  “That’s my girl,” he praised quietly.

As Joel’s movements sped up a little more, he sighed, seeming to find a comfortable pace (for him, at least) as you forced yourself not to tense up: it didn’t hurt, but it was certainly an intense feeling, especially when you felt Joel’s heavy balls slap against your dripping pussy.

"This'll be better than coming on your face," Joel grinned.  "Filling up this tight ass, fuck, you're so dirty, baby…"

You felt someone move your hips down a bit, changing the angle of it all, but you were too lost in it to even know who it was.  Emmett kissed your neck, teeth teasing your pulse, and you whined— you would beg him to bite you and leave a mark that everyone could see, if you could speak at all right now.

Your legs ended up straddling Emmett’s lap, and you gasped when you felt his cock press against your pussy— you'd been too distracted to even notice him taking it out— and he cooed at you sweetly.  "You can take both, right?" he asked quietly.  "You've always got room for me, don't you?"

Though you were still intimidated by the idea, you nodded as you bit your lip.

"That's my girl," Emmett praised, grabbing your hips and pulling you down onto his cock.

You almost screamed at the feeling of being so full, digging your fingers into Emmett’s shoulders.  He looked up at you with eager eyes, watching you struggle to take them both— but you eventually relaxed enough to sink down and fit them both to the hilt.

“Good fucking girl,” Joel praised with a groan, holding on tight to your hips as he started to move again slowly— as for Emmett, his hands moved from your waist to your head to guide you into a sloppy, needy kiss.

Your moans were loud yet weak, your shaky hands clutching at Emmett desperately as they both pumped into you.  Joel seemed almost overwhelmed by it, too, leaning down over you, growling and biting at your neck and shoulder. 

“F-fuck, dunno how long I can last like this,” Joel admitted, “so fucking tight…”

You jumped slightly when one of Joel's rough hands reached around your hips and slid down to your clit, rubbing at the bud until you jerked back from the sudden intense sensation.

"Just wanna feel you come first, princess," he explained with a purr.

“A-ah, fuck,” you whimpered, shaking all over as you tried to process all that you were feeling.  They moved you around how they wanted you, and at some point Emmett was sitting up and holding you in his lap while Joel kept thrusting into your ass from behind while holding your shoulder— how were you supposed to keep track of all the anatomy of this, while you had two big cocks stretching you open and Joel’s rough, experienced fingers on your clit.

Emmett moaned against your skin as he kept sucking on your neck, meanwhile Joel was speaking gruffly by your ear, sending chills up your spine.  “Can you come, princess?” he asked darkly.  “‘Round both our cocks?”

“Yes,” you admitted in a gasp, “fuck— Emmett, can I come?”

He smiled against your neck; “Of course, babydoll,” he breathed.  “Let’s show Joel how much you love bein’ fucked like a whore.”

You wrapped your arms around Emmett’s neck, dropping your head limply back on Joel’s shoulder as the feeling washed over you: you tightened up everywhere, inside and out, and they both groaned as they watched you give in to ecstasy.  You weren’t even sure whose hands were where anymore, but they were everywhere, and even through your exhaustion you felt desperation guide your hips to move on their own— chasing an even higher pleasure.

“Fuck,” Joel grunted as he watched you go, his own thrusts getting faster and rougher.  “Fuck, that’s so cute.”

You didn’t expect him to describe you like that in a time like this, and you whimpered as your walls flexed again.  You could tell Joel was getting a little desperate himself, that bandaged hand giving your clit a break and holding your hip tightly instead.  “Come in her ass, Joel,” Emmett ordered with a sigh, staring at your face with heavy eyes, “she’s ready.”

He did it pretty much instantly, groaning lowly and tossing his head back with a sharp breath in through his teeth; you felt him flexing, and it stretched your tighter hole even just that much more.  You whined softly at the feeling, hearing distantly little praises from Emmett, and finally Joel finished and pulled out of you with a little hiss.

It was less of a relief than you expected— your ass was still stretched and sore, and Emmett was still so deep inside you… and then, a moment later, you felt that hot trickle out of your used hole.  You felt filthy with Joel’s come running out of you like that, tickling your inner thigh as it dribbled down— but the way Emmett was looking at you seemed to remove any sense of shame you had left.

"God, look how beautiful you are," Emmett grunted as he guided you to move faster in his lap, "men just can't help it with you, can they?  Bet every guy in this town wants you, bet they're all thinking about having you to themselves— but you're mine, huh?  My girl?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, I'm yours— all yours, Emmett, always—"

"Gonna show Joel whose girl you are," Emmett promised with a growl.  "Gonna get this pussy nice and full how you like it."

"Yes," you said again, a needy groan this time— the tip of his cock was hitting so deep inside you that you could hardly breathe, yet you only wanted more.  "Yes, please, please— come in me, daddy."

"Damn," Joel laughed, "she is dirty."

Emmett grinned.  "Only gets that way when she's real desperate.  Needs her daddy's come so bad…"

“Please,” you begged shakily, feeling him pull you closer and start to buck his hips up into you faster; he was breathing roughly, quickly, and you knew that he was getting close, but he had a habit of holding back until he absolutely couldn’t take it anymore just so he could watch you like this for as long as possible.  

Apparently unsatisfied with the speed and control he could reach with you on top of him, Emmett pushed you back down onto the bed, holding your legs and fucking you hard and fast— you cried out, arching your back as his hands slid up to hold your waist.

You gasped loudly when Joel unexpectedly leaned down and sucked on one of your tits; your back arched even further towards it, and you heard him moan against your skin as his tongue circled the hardened bud.  Emmett's mouth suddenly found the other one, without his pace slowing down at all, and you could've screamed right then.  You hadn't realized how sensitive they would be, and never in your life had you had both sucked on at once— it was so overwhelming, it was making jolts of white hot pleasure burst inside you, and fuck Emmett’s cock was filling you just right, hitting that perfect spot—

"I'm coming," you sobbed, "f-fuck, daddy, I'm coming—"

Emmett groaned loudly, his mouth falling slack around your breast as hot breaths fanned your skin.  You felt him starting to flex inside you, and you moaned louder knowing he was filling you so deep.  His grunts were in time with his deep, hard thrusts into you, and you went numb and tingly all over as the orgasm seemed to drain everything out of you.

Finally, he slowed to a stop, moving up to kiss you slow and sweet— both of you breathing heavily against each other, your shaky fingers reaching up to hold his face and run through his hair.

He broke away and sat up with a sigh; you wanted to kiss him longer, but you were too exhausted to even complain, simply relaxing against the bed and almost wincing when he pulled out of your sore cunt.

Emmett sat back and tugged your limp form up a bit, cradling you as he held your back to his chest.  “Oh, look at that,” he whispered just beside your ear, reaching down to rub your thigh, “all’a my come running out of you… both holes nice and full just how you need… so fuckin’ pretty, baby, my pretty little girl…”

You just whimpered sleepily, soaking in the warmth of Emmett’s embrace.

"Why don't you taste her now, Joel?" Emmett suddenly offered him with a smirk.  

Before you could process that idea, Emmett was holding your legs open while Joel dived down between them.  You whimpered as Joel licked up through your folds, your whole body getting hot at the thought of Joel tasting you and Emmett.  He really didn't mind doing that with another man's come?  The idea that he might just be that insatiable for you…

He suddenly latched on to your clit and sucked hard, making you yelp and buck your hips— but Joel and Emmett were both holding onto you tight, keeping you steady as your body shook uncontrollably.

"Oh, that's it's," Emmett praised, "let him taste you, baby— let Joel lick that pretty pussy, okay?"

"F-fuck— s'really sensitive—" you choked out.

Emmett held you tighter, both hands groping your breasts and his fingertips gently toying with your nipples.  “Bein’ so good for me,” he praised in a low, rough voice.  “So fuckin’ pretty when you’re getting your pussy ate, babydoll— never get to appreciate it ‘cause I’m too busy doin’ it.  But you look so fuckin’ cute like this…”

Your back arched, pushing your shoulders against Emmett's chest as he held you, and he trailed gentle kisses along your shoulder and up your neck. 

"Gonna come, huh?" he noticed, pinching your nipples harder until you whined.  "It's okay, baby, let Joel make you come.  Just one more and you can rest…"

“C-can’t,” you choked, “can’t come anymore—”

“Shh, you can,” Emmett promised.  “You can show Joel how good you are for me, huh?  You can come when I tell you to.”

“Fuck,” you sobbed, grabbing onto Emmett’s hand tightly— though your other hand gripped a handful of Joel’s salt-and-pepper hair, making him look up at you with those dark brown eyes…

“Mhm, you can do it,” Emmett continued, squeezing your hand in encouragement.  “Put your tongue inside her, Joel.”

You shuddered and quaked when Joel obeyed, the most filthy sounds filling the room while Joel lapped and sucked at your leaking pussy.  Emmett’s hand— the one you weren’t holding onto for dear life— groped your tits roughly, pinching your nipples hard enough to make you buck your hips against Joel’s face, but Joel still had that iron-tight grip on your hips to keep you where he needed you.

Joel was moaning lowly against your skin, focusing his tongue attention back on your clit— from teasing little circles around it to hard, rough licks right over it.  This time, when he went back to sucking on the nub harder than ever, you knew you couldn’t hold it back anymore.  “Fuck, Joel!” you screamed, making him groan darkly again.  “I’m gonna come!”

Emmett dragged his teeth over the shell of your ear, laughing softly yet wickedly.  “You’re sayin’ his name now?” he noticed.  “You’re not coming for him, baby, you’re coming for me.  Because I told you to.  Yes?”

“Yes, yes,” you promised, chanting it mindlessly.  “Yours, Emmett— fuck, I’m yours, you know I am.  Only yours.”

His hand moved from your breast to your face, turning it far enough to look at him— those eyes were boring into you, and you whimpered with your lip between your teeth as you hoped you hadn’t disappointed him.  “Say it again,” he demanded.

“Yours,” you repeated as you looked into his eyes— even though your imminent orgasm made it harder and harder to keep your eyes open.  “I’m yours, daddy.”

He grabbed your jaw and kissed you hard, his tongue keeping your mouth wide open; he swallowed every moan as you came, moaning himself like he could taste your pleasure in the kiss, holding your hand tighter than ever. 

Joel kept eating you out even when your whole body was shaking, even when your weak little hand was trying to push his head away— he only stopped when Emmett’s hand joined yours, just one touch and Joel lifted his head and sighed.

Emmett guided your hand back up to his face, and you held it (with what little strength you had) as you kept kissing him… though the kiss changed, it went from rough and hungry to soft and slow and gentle.

He stopped kissing you just enough to speak, his thumb petting your cheek so you would open your eyes.  “You did so good for me, babydoll,” he cooed under his breath.

Knowing you had finally done everything he wanted, you melted limply into Emmett’s arms, who chuckled a little at your exhaustion.  

“Looks like you really wore her out, Miller.”

“You did, too,” Joel returned.  “Besides, at that age, I’m guessin’ she’ll be raring to go again by the end of the hour.”

Emmett snorted.  “I can get her begging in five minutes,” he countered.

“Please— m’too tired,” you whimpered, cuddling up tighter against Emmett— but his hand was already snaking up your thigh, teasing further between your legs.

“Too tired, huh?” he taunted quietly, petting closer to your sore pussy until your legs spread naturally to let him touch where he wanted.  “Good girl.”

Two fingers delicately teased you, circling around your clit but never quit reaching it— until you were rocking your hips up to try to find some attention in the right spot.

When he did touch your clit, ever so gently, you shivered and mumbled his name; your eyes still closed, you hid your face in his neck and began to shamelessly rock against his fingers.  He teased your opening, making it apparent how wet you still were, but never dipped inside no matter how hard you tried to tempt him to.

“Please,” you whispered, too desperate to feel guilty for it at all, “Emmett, I need—”

“Jesus,” Joel laughed, “didn’t take long at all, did it?”

“Nope,” Emmett agreed.

“So fuckin’ needy,” Joel groaned.

“Yep,” Emmett responded simply again.  “Tell us what you need, babydoll…”

“I…I need…” you mumbled, face getting warm.  “Need to be full…”

“With what?” Joel pressed.

“Um…” you stalled, nervous to admit it but knowing they wouldn’t rest until you did.  “With a… a cock.”

Emmett snorted.  “Any cock?” he wondered.

“W-well, I figured one of you two—”

They both laughed a little, and you felt silly but your walls tightened against themselves.  “We’re not young like you, sweetpea— it’s not that easy,” Joel explained.  “Gonna need a little more patience…”

“But— but you got me all worked up!” you whined.  “You did that on purpose…”

“Yeah,” Emmett admitted with a purr, “yeah, baby, I did that on purpose.”

You pouted a bit.  “You’re mean sometimes…”

“Mhm,” he agreed with a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Joel.  “How long will it take you to get hard again?”

“Not that long,” Joel answered, “if she puts that mouth to good use.”

Emmett helped you sit up, patting your back encouragingly.  “Go ahead, baby, you know what to do…”

As you crawled towards where Joel knelt on the bed, still totally dazed and exhausted, you realized that tonight was far from over— and that tonight may not be all that Emmett had in store for you.

#joel miller smut #emmett a quiet place smut #cillian murphy smut #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #cillian murphy x reader #joel miller x reader #emmett a quiet place x reader #WELP. this is filthy.

[mountttmase]

Winter Sun - Chapter 5

Note - lil early treat as the game is on tomorrow. this is probably one of my favourites so I’m super excited for you guys to read it. Once again thank you sm for being so lovely I just adore you guys 🥺 also I added in a anons suggestion last minute I hope you like it 🤭 and feedback is appreciated as always 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6.1k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

You didn’t know if the heat was getting to Mason, but he could barely keep his hands off of you as the week went on.

Every night the pair of you ended up in one of the others room to let off some steam and you were beginning to wonder how you’d survive without him when the holiday finished. Even during the day he’d try and sneak you off if he could. Pretending you’d gone for a nap or to make a call so he could quickly make the pair of you cum and you couldn’t lie, you were having the time of your life.

It wasn’t just the sex though. He was right, you were his for the week and no matter where you were or what you were doing he was practically glued to your side. You were having the best week with him and all your friends and the little arrangement only made it even better.

You kept to your side of the deal too, making him breakfast and lunch if he wanted it. Treating him to ice cream when you were out even when he refused and making sure he always had his sun cream on but you knew he was secretly loving being taken care of in this way. Often finding him staring at you longingly as you made him something to eat like he wanted to pull you in and not let you go.

You felt good. Better than good, you felt wanted and needed and even though you both promised that the friendship came first and no feelings would be involved you noticed you’d started to slip.

You thought about him constantly when he wasn’t around, only feeling truly content when he was next to you and you felt yourself becoming in tune with the way he acted towards you. One misplaced glance or change in the tone of his voice had you spiralling but you were too afraid to say anything to him in case you made a fool of yourself so you kept it in. Trying to be as relaxed as possible around him.

You’d had a great week by all accounts though, getting drunk in the evening and soaking up the sun in the day and before you knew it there were only a few days left. Today was a little different though as you were meant to be having a girls day and Carly had arranged for the four of you to go pottery painting whilst the boys had their own thing going on but when you left you realised they were coming with you. Ben explaining that due to the weather their speedboat experience had been cancelled so they were tagging along to paint with you.

‘I’ve never done pottery painting, I don’t think I’ll be any good’ you told Mason as you all approached the building. Him holding the door open for you and you smiled as you walked passed him.

‘You decorate your cakes all fancy though, surely you can’t be too bad’

‘I guess we’ll have to wait and see’ you winked. Joining everyone else as a sweet older lady explained what you had to do.

Once she was done you were all allowed to go and pick your pottery, and once again you felt Mason brush up besides you as you looked for something to paint.

‘What are you thinking of painting?’ You asked him, eyes scanning the shelves for something exciting and you watched as he picked up a small stubby sort of vase before sending you a wink.

‘Wouldn’t you like to know’ he laughed before turning on his heel and making his way over to sit with the rest of the boys. Leaving you stumped before turning back to your only other hope.

‘Carly? Whar are you painting?’

‘Gonna paint Ben a mug I think, and maybe a little bowl for my cereal’ she mused, grabbing the biggest bowl she could see before taking it back to the girls table. You watched with a smile, knowing how much she loved her cookie crisp but your eyes were soon wandering over to Mason like they always did.

In the end you picked up a mug, wanting to paint Mason something too and then a mug for yourself before joining the girls. Sitting and gossiping as you let your creative juices flow and even though you were trying your hardest to paint something nice for Mason your lines were all wobbly and you thought it looked silly but you hoped it liked it.

For your own mug you decorated it with little strawberries and daisies, this coming out a little better than Masons but you were clearly taking too long as the girl’s had gone to join the boys to show off what they’d made as you were finishing up.

‘That's pretty’ Mason smiled, taking up the seat next to you. ‘The mugs not too bad either’

‘Oh hush it you’ you laughed. Secretly enjoying his compliments and you knew you were blushing as much as you tried to hide it.

‘Sorry, but it’s true, I am a bit concerned though. Please don’t tell me you’ve spent this whole time doing that’

‘Of course not’ you laughed, nodding your head to the side and you watched his eyes light up at the Spider-Man mug you’d painted for him. ‘I know it’s not great but I thought it might look good on your mug tree I got you’ you laughed, referring to the one you’d got him as a house warming gift and you watched his eyes soften as they flickered back between you and the mug.

‘You painted that for me?’

‘Of course. Just another little thank you of mine’ you teased but you could tell he was touched that you’d made something for him.

‘I guess I should show you what I did’ he laughed, a nervous expression on his face as he went to retrieve his item but you were more than confused when he set it down in front of you.

This looked nothing like the vase he’d picked up before. It was covered in little hearts of all shapes and sizes, pretty flowers and a few cupcakes hidden in here and there plus a slightly bigger pink heart that had gwen Stacey’s pink mask inside. Making you smile as you recalled all the times you’d spent watching it together and you loved the way both of yours tied in together without you meaning it too.

You were just about to ask what it was when you noticed the word tips carefully written in a fancy font on the front and your eyes shot up to his nervous ones.

‘It’s for your bakery. Thought it might look nicer than the coffee jar you’ve got sat by the till’ he laughed and your heart melted instantly.

‘Oh Mase’ you laughed. Dropping your brush and pulling him in for a hug and he held you back just as tightly. Tucking his head into your neck as he was a little shy and your heart thumped at how lovely he had been.

‘Bit of luck I painted something for you now huh?’ You laughed. Pulling back to look at his flushed face before his eyes darted to the Spider-Man mug in between you.

‘I’ll treasure it forever’ he laughed before helping you pick everything up and take it over to where everyone else’s were. The lady let you know they’d take around a week to be finished and you all wrote your addresses down for each piece before going to grab a quick lunch so you could get back to the villa. The weather now changing and after your busy morning and early afternoon, all you could think about was heading over to your chair and blocking out the rest of the world.

Well everyone but Mason at least.

He was still in the kitchen grabbing himself a drink, promising to follow you outside shortly to join you and with a quick, sneaky pinch to his bum you took the few steps from the kitchen to outside.

‘You coming in, y/n?’ Ben called, motioning his head into the pool as you walked around the edge towards you but you shook your head. Heading straight for the lounge chair you’d claimed as your own so you could get set up with your book however Ben seemed to be having different ideas. Stopping you in your tracks with his hands on your shoulders and the cheeky smile on his face unnerved you. ‘Come on, I haven’t seen you in there once this week’

‘So? I don’t want to’

‘But you have to, it’s the rules’ he laughed, turning you so you were now facing away from him, his chest pressed against your back as he bent slightly before lifting you from the floor.

‘Chilly I swear to god, put me down’ you shrieked, voice full of fear but you could tell he thought it was all hilarious. Swinging you from side to side as you thrashed and kicked your legs, your breaths short and sharp like you couldn’t take enough air in and as your eyes began to sting from fear you couldn’t help but let out a frightened whimper.

‘No can do, everyone needs to go for a swim or you can’t say you’ve had a proper holiday’ he laughed, swinging you back one final time before launching you into the water.

Everyone’s laughter and cheering was suddenly silenced, all you could hear was a rushing noise as you tried to fight your way to safety. You didn’t know what way was up and what was down and the more you struggled the more lost you became. Your lungs burning as you resisted the urge to open your mouth and scream but you were so frightened you didn’t know what else to do.

I’m gonna die, the only thought that was rushing through your head but the sudden feeling of someone’s arms around your waist as they dragged you up and back to the real world knocked the wind out of you.

You were gasping for breath instantly, your hands gripping onto someone’s strong shoulders as you tried to calm your aching lungs before you felt their hand on you back so they could pull you into them. Your arms snaked around their neck as you hid your head into them and they rubbed up and down soothingly to try and relax you before pulling you flush against them with their lips to your ear.

‘It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’ve got you, yeah? I promise it’s alright’

‘Mase’ you whimpered, booming coughs erupting from you as you clung to him even tighter. Wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you to his chest tightly and you knew you were going to be fine.

‘I know, Muffin. I promise I’ve got you’ he told you gently as he slowly walked you to the steps of the pool, gently walking you out whilst you clung to him like a koala and once you were up the steps and on the side you let yourself slide down his body so you could stand on your own. You could feel him start to pull back, probably wanting to check you were okay but you were having none of it. Small sobs now poring from you as you realised you were okay, the shock of it all finally hitting you and the embarrassment of everyone having seen you flapping about like a wet fish made you hold him even tighter as you cried into his neck.

‘Y/n I-‘ Ben started from behind you but Mason was quick to cut him off for you.

‘Don’t, Ben. Just don’t’

‘I didn’t-‘

‘Ben I swear to god if you don’t fuck off right now’ Mason growled, his body going stuff as he pulled you impossibly closer to his body. ‘I mean what the fuck were you thinking?’ He roared, but you didn’t want to start and argument so you pulled back in the hopes he’d look at you. He looked furious, cheeks flushed as his brows pitched together and you could feel the anger pouring from him but you watched his expression soften at the sight of you.

‘Can we just go inside’ you whispered through your tears and without so much a look in Bens direction, Mason lead you into the kitchen and away from everyone else before picking you up by your thighs and placing you on the counter.

‘Are you okay?’ He whispered, holding you by the jaw so she could get a good look at you and even though you were still crying and taking in strangled breaths you nodded your head. ‘What happened?’

‘H-he threw me I-in. I p-panicked’ you stuttered out before he pulled you back into his chest so you could calm down. You knew you were fine but your heart was still beating out of your chest and you were thankful you had Mason to grip onto.

Once you were calm again you pulled back to look at him, a soft concerned expression on his face as he placed a soft kiss to your forehead and you couldn’t ignore the goosebumps that traveled over your arms at the gesture. His touch was grounding you more than you thought it would but the feel of his lips on your skin made you feel even better.

‘You really don’t like the water do you?’ He asked softly, a small smile on his lips and you shook your head softly as you rubbed at your eyes. ‘Can you swim?’ He questioned gently and you took a nervous gulp before answering.

‘No’ you whispered, wanting to look away out of embarrassment but his non judgemental stare settled you and your carried on looking into his gentle eyes.

‘Y/n’ he sighed, but you could tell there was smile behind his voice as he slightly scolded you. ‘You need to tell me things like that. How am I supposed to look after you if I don’t know?’

‘Sorry’ you chuckled but he just shook his head before pulling you back into his embrace.

‘It’s alright. Just as long as you’re okay’ he mumbled, pulling back to look at you and you sent him a reassuring smile.

‘I’ll be fine’

‘Good’ he laughed before dropping his head to press a light kiss to your lips.

You froze, that’s against the rules being your first thought but he didn’t seem to be reacting in any way so you kept your cool and acted like what he’d just done was normal even though it was anything but.

‘Do you fancy going out for a bit? We can head to the beach rather than hanging here, I just know if I see Ben I’m likely to throttle him’ he joked, squeezing your waist lightly and you agreed, still a little embarrassed about the whole thing so you let him help you down so you could quickly leave.

You tried to be quick, drying yourself off and changing into a new bikini and a pair of shorts before chucking on an over shirt and trainers snd meeting Mason in the hall outside your rooms.

He was dressed in shorts and a tank, clearly throwing his own outfit together pretty hastily but looking at him still made your knees weak. The fact he’d have his tattoos on show for you today too made your tummy flip so when he held out his hand you took it straight away before he led you outside and thankfully you didn’t see anyone on the way out. Following Mason with your head down and once you were out he steered you towards the main town.

‘Thought we could have a walk on the beach maybe? Or look round some shops?’

‘Sounds perfect’ you smiled, squeezing his hand gently as you followed him down.

You arrived at the shops first, the pair of you looking at all the trinkets and souvenirs before Mason asked if you’d like to play a game and you looked up at Mason with a confused expression.

‘Whenever me and my family go away we get each other a magnet’ he told you, head motioning inside one of the tourist shops at a giant wall of magnets. ‘You go in here, I’ll go into the shop opposite and we can buy each other one. You know, one that reminds us of the other’ he explained but your silence made his face falter. ‘Or if that’s weird we can just-‘

‘No Mason I love it’ you giggled, squeezing his hand before letting go. ‘I’ll meet you out here in a sec yeah?’

‘Okay’ he nodded shyly before you both went in separate directions. There were a few you were considering but in the end you picked up one that looked like a rooster as it reminded you of Nando’s and you’d seen them everywhere this week and once you’d picked up a few more things for people back home, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Carly’s name flashing up on your screen and you felt nervous instantly. She wasn’t around when the pool fiasco happened and you knew she was probably worrying where you were.

You met him outside where he was looking at you with a cheeky smile before quickly swapping the little paper bags they were hidden in, both bursting into fits of giggles when you saw you’d bought each other the same one.

‘You fancy a walk on the beach? We can stay away from the water if you want’ he smiled but you just laughed and took his outstretched hand. Walking along the shore as he intwinted his fingers with yours.

It all felt so surreal, getting caught up in the moment even though you know you shouldn’t have, but the way he was acting so soft and caring with you made your heart flutter and you had to remind yourself often that he was still just your friend.

He stopped suddenly, pulling his phone out his his pocket before seemingly trying to take a picture of the sand in front of you and you were confused as to what he was doing until he threw a peace sign up in the air, looking down to see his shadow on the sand so you joined in as he took a few more. Both giggling away until he placed his arm around your waist and pulled you flush against his side before popping a kiss on your forehead and snapping a picture.

You looked up at him carefully, his bright eyes looking down into yours and the urge to kiss him was stronger than ever. He beat you to it though, planting another illegal kiss on your lips softly before taking your hand again so you could carry on walking.

‘You feeling better now, Muffin?’ He asked quietly, a hint of worry still in his eyes but it needn’t be there.

‘Much better. Thank you for looking after me Mase’ you told him sincerely, wrapping your arms around his waist so you could hold him close. ‘Sorry for ruining your peaceful afternoon’

‘Don’t be silly, I’d rather hang out with you anyway. I was thinking, maybe we could grab some dinner out? Unless you wanna go back, we can do that too’ he told you, rushing at the end like he thought he’d overstepped but you were enjoying your alone time with him so you sent him a reassuring smile.

‘No I like the sound of that. Maybe we could have a little picnic on the beach? I don’t think I’m looking too presentable to be sitting in somewhere’ you laughed, looking down and your thrown together outfit and still damp hair but the soft smile on his face relaxed you.

‘I mean I think you look great but whatever you want’ he winked, squeezing your sides playfully.

After another quick walk around the town, Mason pointed out a take away pizza place and put your order in before you popped into the small supermarket opposite to grab some drinks and sweet treats before taking your food back to the beach so you could eat and watch the sunset.

Even though you didn’t like the water, there was something about sitting by the sea and the sound of the waves that made you feel at peace. And sitting with Mason as you spoke casually about future plans and how he was looking forward to the rest of the season made your heart sing.

‘I know we haven’t known each other too long in the grand scheme of things, but you know I’m really proud of you, don’t you?’ You told him softly, watching the most heartwarming smile stretch across his face before he patted the space in front of him so you’d sit in between his legs. Once you were comfortable his arms snaked around your waist and you placed yours on top of his as he pulled you as close as he could to him. His lips by your ear so he could speak to you quietly.

‘I’m proud of you too, Muffin’ he whispered, the smile in his voice evident but you both started giggling as he kissed the side of your head. ‘I’m serious. You’ve got your own thing going on and you’re so successful and like I’m just so happy for you, you know? No one deserves to be happy more than you’

‘You deserve to be happy too’ you told him, moving your shoulders round slightly so you could look at him and you almost melted when his hand came to rest on your cheek so he could stroke it gently.

‘I am happy’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, I know it was a big choice to go up there and have everything change. And yeah maybe there are certain things I would of liked to of kept the same but I think it’s worked out pretty well’

‘I think so too’ you whispered, your smile mirroring his as he continued to gently stroke your cheek. ‘Though I miss having you around’

‘I miss you too’ he smiled

‘Hmmm me or my cakes?’

‘Your cake’s obviously’ he laughed, making you roll your eyes playfully as you looked away from him but he was quick to hold you closer and scatter kisses on top of your head until you looked back. ‘I’m kidding. It’s mostly you’

There was that feeling again, wanting to kiss him more than anything and you knew he felt the same because his eyes kept flashing down to your lips as they flickered all over your face. You figured you’d just take the plunge, he’d kissed you twice already today so you reached up and thankfully he caught on and met you in the middle.

Kissing Mason like this made you feel giddy. You were breaking every rule in the book but there was no intent behind it, just two people showing the other how they felt and you hope Mason could tell how much you appreciated him for everything

‘Thank you for this week, Mase, I was really worried about coming but I’m so glad I did. I’ll never be able to repay you’

‘You don’t have to thank me or repay me’

‘But I do. I really appreciate everything you do for me’

‘Well do you send me cakes a lot’ he winked, ‘and you're always there for my games, good times and bad you're by my side so I appreciate you too. More than you know’ he told you softly. A warm fuzzy feeling spreading over your skin and you didn’t have the confidence to look at him anymore so you faced forward as the pair of you snuggled closer and listened to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

‘Shall we head back? You’re starting to get cold and I don’t have anything for you’ Mason asked after a little while and even though you were content in his arms you knew it was getting late and you’d have to head back soon so you begrudgingly nodded.

‘Okay’ you whispered, taking a slow walk back with his hand in yours the whole way. When you got back, the house was silent and you weren’t even sure if anyone was in so you made your way down to your rooms after putting your leftovers in the fridge. Standing awkwardly outside your doors as he scratched the back of his neck.

‘You wanna come in here for a bit?’ He asked, making you raise your brows at him suggestively but he was quick to settle you. ‘Nothing like that, I just thought we could hang out for a bit. Watch a movie before bed?’

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah I just… I don’t wanna leave you yet like it feels weird to me’

‘It feels weird to me too’ you admitted shyly and your heart stuttered at his soft smile. ‘Listen, I’m just gonna have a quick shower, get changed and run upstairs for a water. You want me to get you anything?’

‘Why don’t you get us some snacks, I’ll let you pick’ he told you and with a final kiss to your forehead he let you go.

After your shower you found one of your nicer sets of pjs and you made your way upstairs but the sight in front of you made guilt rush through you. There was Ben, his face sat propped up on his fists as he leant against the counter and you could see how miserable he looked just from a glance.

You felt awful, you knew he hadn’t meant anything in a mean way earlier and when his eyes flickered over to yours you sent him a sympathetic smile.

‘You’re back’

‘Yeah we got back about fifteen minutes ago’ you told him as he sat up but he kept his eyes glued to the counter as he nodded his head and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

Without another word you made your way over to him, touching his shoulder so he’d turn a bit before pulling him into your arms. You felt him relax immediately as he held you tightly and you rubbed his back gently hoping to let him know everything was fine between you.

‘I’m so fucking sorry, y/n’ he told you quietly but you could hear the emotion in his voice and it was breaking your heart. ‘I honestly had no idea, I was just trying to have a bit of fun’

‘I know Ben. I know you didn’t mean it horribly and I’m fine I promise. I don’t tell people I can’t swim cause it’s a bit embarrassing but you didn’t know that’ you reassured him as you pulled away but kept your hands on his shoulders. ‘As for Mase I think he just got a bit scared but I’ve had a word with him. There wasn’t any need for him to speak to you like that’

‘It’s fine I deserved a telling off’ he smiled shyly and you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. ‘You promise you’re alright?’

‘Fit as a fiddle’ you winked before walking over to the fridge. ‘I was more embarrassed than anything else. Like me, a full grown woman who can’t swim?’

‘Well if you fancy a lesson I can try and teach you. We can call it part of my apology’ he offered and even though you were petrified you wanted to do something to make him feel better.

‘You know what, I’ll take you up on that’ you laughed, shutting the fridge as you gathered your haul in your hands. ‘Let’s start in the morning’

‘It’s a deal’ he winked, a bright smile on his face and you felt better than you had all afternoon knowing you were fine.

‘I better take these down to his majesty’ you joked, motioning towards your full arms. ‘I’ll see you in the morning though, yeah?’

‘Course. Have a good night y/n’

‘You too’ you smiled and with a quick kiss to your cheek you both made your separate ways to your rooms. You didn’t bother knocking when you got to Mason's room, walking in so you could drop the snacks and drinks straight onto the bed but after you’d shut the door and finally caught sight of him, your mouth went dry.

He was lying horizontally across the bed on his side, flicking through the channels to find something to watch clad only in a pair of tight black Calvin’s. As soon as you made eye contact he sent you a sweet smile, shuffling up a bit straighter before patting the space in front of him and it felt like your heart was going a mile a minute as he helped you get settled. His warm skin pressed fully against yours as he tangled your legs together and wrapped his arm around your middle, but it was the light kiss pressed against your temple that made you blush harder than anything.

‘Comfy?’ He asked softly, lips right by your ear casing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, you just hoped he wouldn't notice and when he didn’t say anything you just nodded and let him hit play.

It was a comfortable silence, but then again you were always comfortable around Mason. The pair of you munching your way through your snacks as you absentmindedly watched the film that was on until you felt him reach for his phone. Tapping away for a few minutes before he placed it back on the bed until you felt your own phone buzz on the side table.

‘I’d get that if I were you’ he told you quietly. Eyes not leaving the tv and you thought it was a bit weird of him but you didn’t question it. Reaching for it to see who it could be but you were surprised to find it was Mason trying to airdrop you something. The first thing looked like a picture of you taken from behind at a beach bar the other day and you felt your heart race as you pressed accept.

You weren’t prepared for what was coming through to you though. A full album of candid shots of yourself from nights out and day trips that Mason must have taken sneakily and you felt your whole body flush as you flicked through them. Seeing yourself through his eyes a little and you’d sworn you’d never felt more beautiful than right now.

‘Mason? What the hell is all this?’ You asked, looking up at him with a wide smile and you watched his cheeks turn the same shade of pink yours probably were.

‘Just some pictures I’ve taken this week that I thought you might like’ he told you. Trying to shrug it off but you knew he knew what he’d done was special to you. ‘I thought maybe you could use some for your daily instagram dumps you seem to love. Do you like them?’

‘I love them, thank you’ you told him. Pulling him towards you tighter and you shivered as he kissed your shoulder.

‘That's okay. I know the others were constantly asking the boys to take pictures and I didn’t want you left out. I’ve kept a few for myself though’ he teased. Making you laugh as you looked back up at him.

‘I suppose I’ll allow it’ you smiled. Reaching up to kiss his jaw before your eyes went back to your phone so you could look through them again and try and find your favourite but it didn’t take long for your eyes to go heavy. It had been a long and slightly stressful day and the warmth of Mason's body and the calmness that you felt about being around him was sending you to sleep quicker than anything. He must have felt it, moving you round so your front was now pressed against his chest with your head in his neck but you knew you couldn’t get too comfortable. Sleeping in the same bed was against the rules.

Not that you’d stuck to the rules at all today.

‘Just gimme five minutes and I’ll go to my room’ you told him quietly, the rumbling of his chest as he laughed waking you slightly but not too much.

‘Don’t be silly, stay here tonight’

‘But Mase-‘

‘But nothing. Just go to sleep, Muffin’ he whispered into your hair and you knew your skin was covered in goosebumps.

You didn’t say another word, just snuggled down further into him as he held you even closer. His hands absentmindedly stroking over your skin and lulling you further into sleep, the last thing you remember being his lips on your forehead as he pressed feather light kisses to your hairline.

When you woke up, you knew it wasn’t morning yet. The sky was a little lighter than when you went to sleep but your thoughts were confirmed when you quickly checked your phone and the time read 03:47am. You weren’t sure why you were awake but you quickly dashed to the loo, carefully untangling yourself from Mason as to not wake him but you saw his eyes open when you returned. You had been contemplating going back to your room but he opened his arms for you as you stood awkwardly and you couldn’t deny him.

‘Sorry, Mase. I didn’t mean to wake you’ you whispered, crawling back into his arms but you let him spoon you this time, smiling at the feel of his arms around you and his lips pressed to the base of your neck.

‘S’okay’ he whispered back, continuing to press small kisses over the bottom of your neck whilst he let his hands wander your body carefully and before long you could feel yourself getting turned on.

You weren’t sure if this was his intention or if he just wanted to feel you but you knew your breathing had gotten deeper as he began to massage over you waist and hips before finally taking your bum in his hands and you couldn't help but moan a little bit. Yes the pair of you had been touchy all day but you’d missed his hands on you like this and once he could hear how he was making you feel he started taking things to the next level.

It was your thighs next, hands reaching forward to massage them softly whilst he littered your neck with kisses and it wasn’t long before you felt him prodding you in the back which caused you to let out a little chuckle. ‘Shhhh’ he laughed, letting his hands travel inward to part them before hooking one up and over his body. Leaving you open for him to do as he pleased.

You felt you hips moving before you’d even realised, grinding your bum down onto him and the chuckle that left his lips would have almost left you embarrassed but you didn’t care. You just wanted to feel him again.

‘You just can’t wait can’t you, baby? So needy for me’

‘Please Mase’ you whimpered. Your spine tingling at him calling you baby but thankfully he didn’t want to make you work for it. Just as needy as you it seemed as he pulled your shorts from you and freed himself just enough to be able push himself into you. One arm wrapped around you to hold you close as the other hooked under your thigh to hold it up as he bucked his hips into you from behind and the kisses he was pressing to the back of your neck were driving you wild.

It was lazy and delicious, the pair of you taking it as slow as you could so you could just feel each other rather than chase your highs. Not having sex for the aim of getting off but just because it felt good to be pressed up against each other, to feel him rock his hips in and out of you just like he knew you loved whilst whispering the most heavenly praise in your ear.

You look so fucking beautiful

Feels like you were made for me, you know that?

Let me hear all those pretty noises you make. I don’t care if anyone hears us I wanna know how good you feel

You’re doing so well for me sweetheart

I’ve got you, let go for me gorgeous

When you’d finally come down from your high, you could still feel him pressing the most delicate kisses to the back of your neck until he was burying his face in there. Taking a huge breath like he was absorbing you in and couldn’t wipe the smile off your face.

The pair of you didn’t move, Mason just feeling heavier and heavier as he sunk into you even more. Falling straight back to sleep so you joined him knowing you’d hadn’t felt this content in the longest time.

y/n

liked by masonmount, carlywlms_, benchilwell and others

Y/n a day well spent 🩷

view comments

masonmount ✌🏻

y/n ✌🏻

declanrice that pizza look insane

y/n It was 👩🏻‍🍳😘 there’s a few slices in the fridge if you want some

carlywlms_ missed you this afternoon 💜

y/n I’ll be there to annoy you tomorrow 💜

okaylaaa omg the magnets 😩 @woody_ we need to get some before we go

y/n they had so many, it’s hard to choose 😭

woody_ I’ll take you tomorrow 😉

benchilwell 💛

y/n 💛

laurenfryer_ you didn’t want to show everyone your Spider-Man mug, no?

y/n I didn’t want to embarrass everyone else with my skills

lukeshaw23 tell Mase that’s not part of his meal plan

y/n It’s a one off treat 😉

masonmount let me tell you, I’ve had many treats this week 😌

__nads hope you’re having the best time 🩷 everyone’s asking after you 🥺

y/n thank you, i hope it’s okay going okay 😂

__nads sugar mumma is still standing 😉

masonmount can you post me up some brownies for when I get home please? Or just whatever’s left over tomorrow, I’m not fussy

y/n @__nads ignore him please 🙄

masonmount no no, she owes me

__nads I’m not getting involved in your domestic 😭

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

#mason mount #mason mount one shot #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fan fic #mason mount fluff #mason mount smut #mason mount imagines #mason mount imagine #mason mount blurb #mason mount instagram au #mason mount fic #mason mount fan fiction #mason mount scenarios #mason mount series #mason mount story #mason mount drabble #mason mount angst #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #footballer imagines #footballer imagine #footballer fan fiction #winter sun series

[mrsnancywheeler]

midnight rain part 2 // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: finnick had pulled the plug on your relationship long ago, when he could no longer keep from you what he'd been forced into. but after you've returned victorious from your games, he knows you need him as the nightmares come for you each time you close your eyes.

previous chapter

the sequel

warnings: descriptions of gore, violence, death, including an eye, blood, manipulation of someone's feelings to survive, betrayal, unrequited love to resentment, mentions of a break up, relationship with lack of communication, anxiety with symptoms of nausea, allusions to trafficking but no explicit detail, ANGST, hurt/comfort, fluff, nightmares and flashbacks, if there were more I didn't get I'm sorry

unedited and not beta read

2.7k words

“Only two more stops, angel. Then we'll be back home." Finnick was clasping together your necklace for you as you stared blankly into the mirror. He was trying to be comforting, but it was difficult when two more stops meant he'd have to tell you soon. First you'd get through District 4, through talking about Conway, and he'd let you down when you were headed to wrap it all up in the Capitol. 

“Promise?" You desperately wanted to be home, to deal with the haunting of your nightmares without having more to face every day.

Finnick couldn't really promise you'd get to go straight home after the Capitol, maybe Snow had something waiting or maybe you'd have longer to wait. So he said nothing, he offered you a small smile and kissed the top of your head. Now your innocent question left your chest pounding, why didn't he just say, yes? 

“Let's go get you something to eat, angel." He offered his hand out to you which you paused before taking. There were too many secrets, you'd tried to allow him them after all he'd gone through of course he had things he still needed to process. However, this was now your life too and if they involved you then you deserved to be told. Yet you knew nothing you could say or do would convince Finnick to reveal things except his own inner clock.

“Okay." Tearing your eyes away from him as you rose from the vanity’s stool. Exhaustion was only slightly hidden in your tone. 

Of course he knew why this was, besides the little sleep you'd been able to obtain between nightmares that left you sobbing into his arms, but he reasoned that currently he was doing you a favor. So he said nothing further on the subject as you walked out of the train car only awaiting the difficult day ahead. 

              𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

When your name was called in the reaping you could have sworn your heart was going to fall right out of your body. All the blood was rushing straight to your head and your body begged you to just collapse then and there. But the performance had already begun, everyone would be watching to see how District 4’s female tribute acted. Would she be cocky and strong? What about scared and fleeting? You already had to start forming an image as you walked up the stage on shaky legs.

When you saw his face as you approached the steps you could no longer push away the incoming tears from at least briefly shedding. Finnick. All he'd said he would to protect you, the poor boy who pushes you away claiming it was to keep you safe from a looming danger that he would not reveal. Eyes are windows to the soul and his showed how his heart was being violently crushed on top of the hastily thrown on bandages for its past cracks and bruises. 

Maybe your eyes showed the same thing to whomever was paying attention to them, whoever was really trying to get inside this tribute’s head. Perhaps it would benefit you if they did, to be seen as a hopeless romantic needing to get home for an unseen love. Thoughts of how you would perform filled every crevice of your brain and the Capitol escort reached inside the bowl to pull out a male tribute's name. 

Her voice was like a sickly, sweet syrup, cotton candy that was melting down the stick on a hot day as she let out a heavy breath into the microphone.

“Conway Delmare!” Your heart pounced up, maybe the odds were in your favor after all. Part of you wanted to shake the forming idea off, it was cruel, mean, unfair, but so is everything else, this is life and death.

He walked onto the stage with confidence and he gazed at you with pity. Pity. Is that what sealed his fate? An ‘I don't need your pity, I pity you for what I'm about to do.’ The two of you shook hands, his was firm and calloused, yours soft and fleeting. That feeling he'd always found so entrancing about you, how delicate you were with your looks, your smiles, your touch, your voice, but unbeknownst to him the same thing could not be said of the part of your soul plotting his demise.

Looks could be faked and you mustered every feeling that represented your heart's visceral reaction to Finnick straight into Conway’s deep, midnight eyes and the look he gave back to you showed that he fell for it hook, line, and sinker. So as you were led to say your familial goodbyes you began mentoring yourself on exactly how you'd already begun playing this game and your hard work would not be put to waste.

             𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

There was only a matter of minutes before you made your grand appearance in front of District 4, in front of Conway's family and your stomach was in knots. At the time you began hatching your tactics to win you didn't have time to think about how everyone would view you for it. If the Capitol thought you were a Princess, a damsel in distress who had to fight for herself like she was in some sort of twisted fairy tale then the districts, your district saw a manipulator, a sly girl who couldn't just harm the usual way but made cuts into people's hearts. You played the game too hard and too well to be forgiven. 

Heckling was something you were prepared for, you doubted the Peacekeepers would let it happen for long, but if it did you'd deserve it you reasoned. What would hurt the most would be staring at Conway’s mother who'd once made you snacks after school, his father who'd tell you fantastical stories about his job, his younger sister who wanted to mimic everything about you, and his older sister who comforted you when Finnick had broken your heart, knowing that you had exploited these relations to leave him dead in the muddy marshlands of the arena. They would resent you just as much as you resented yourself for it. There was no space in your heart to blame them for this, just mind hollowing guilt.

“You gotta stay with me, sweet girl " Finnick’s arm around your waist brought you back to the present, out of counting down the seconds until you faced the consequences of your actions. 

“I'm gonna be sick." Anxiety always had you dry heaving, desperate to be free of the gnawing inside.

“No you won't. C’mon, angel, you step out there, say the speech on the card, smile, avert your eyes no matter how difficult, and then you come right back to me." His reassuring smile was usually infectious like the sunshine, like Conway’s had once been.

“He should be going right back to them, Finnick. I'm such a terrible person." You didn't realize how cold your face was until he was wiping away the tears falling.

“No you're not, that's what they want you to feel. But you're not, you did what you needed to do. It's not your fault if you decided to play smarter." Someone was shouting something and you knew it was time for you to go, to do exactly as Finnick had instructed no matter how difficult. You reluctantly pulled away from his comforting hands, “I'm not going to wipe all the tears, it'll help. Not because you're manipulative, but it shows you are how you present yourself, remorseful." 

You nodded and sniffled, hands tightly gripping the card with the speech. He gave you a reassuring nod as you took slow steps to the doors, preparing to dissociate completely from the people who lie ahead. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.

             𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“We should keep heading east, put enough distance between us that we can think of a plan to ambush their camp before they ambush us." Conway was leaned up against a tree as he wiped the sweat off his brow, the mugginess was making you both claustrophobic.

“I'm not sure why we split anyways, it would have been easier to take them by surprise immediately, if that was your plan." Exactly, his plan didn't make sense. It made you tense, put you on edge, which was a terrific achievement considering the current predicament.

“I told you, I heard Birch talking.” His voice was brisk, usually it was more playful. Conway usually had a tone of cold strawberries on a hot summer day, but now it was like they were just as hot and mushy as the weather.

You nodded cautiously, the tides were changing. Every vein pumping blood echoed through your head, he was off, this was all wrong. He'd checked off nearly every box you'd expected, so why was he diverging from the script now? Adrenaline was pushing through your legs, you were ready to run, it shook through your arms, he had the spear and the knives in the bag. Stupid. Too much trust and you were basically defenseless, you should have prepared for this outcome as well.

“So what's the plan until then?" Your voice exuded relief and trust, but he'd known you for too long to not notice the tapping of your foot. Signaling how ready you were to bolt if things went awry.

Conway looked down a second and scoffed, “I think you've caught onto that by now."

Just like that you were hurtling through the marsh, darting around the trees, and as the breeze screamed wildly through your hair, your jacket, everything was too loud. You weren't sure what was his pounding footsteps and what was your heart in your ears with all the overstimulation. Him screaming your name was; however, loud enough to distinguish.

He'd always been an unbalanced climber so your instincts decided to send you barreling up the nearest tree. You were too slow and his hands clawed into your legs, so you screamed and kicked, but he pulled you down regardless. Hitting your head with a thud that made all noice cease for a second. Tears filled your vision, you were desperately trying to push yourself away with your legs and forearms, but he had you pinned down.

“Did you really think I would believe you would just suddenly stop loving him? After years of me pining for you, suddenly now was a good time for you to realize you'd felt the same?" His laugh was biting and you shook your head as burning tears covered your face in desperation. He should have hit you with the spear but somewhere he'd abandoned it, you shouldn't have let the adrenaline take over because sometimes between then and now he'd grabbed the knife too. It was all so personal.

" Conway, please, it's not like that.” You thrashed wildly, digging your fingernails into his hands trying to get him to drop the weapon that with one sure slide could put an end to your backbending efforts.

" It's not like you thought I would do anything for you, even though you turned me aside for years, for him? He doesn't even want you, but you only really see me when it saves you. But it's not gonna save you this time, princess.” He jammed the knife down as you pulled your body every which way, screaming as he missed his target and landed on your side. “What did I beat you at your own game? Did you think I was dumb enough-" 

Before he could finish his own screams filled the wind when you let your instincts take over, jamming your thumb into his eye. Blood poured from it as he instinctually went to cover it, you kicked him further off of you. Your eyes greedily searched for the spear as you propelled yourself off of the ground.

“Damn you!" He yelled as he tried to see through the river of blood pouring over one of them. Finally you saw the weapon he'd discarded and hastily scrambled for it. Using every concentrated muscle possible to aim it straight into his chest without pause. The impact caused his already stumbling self to crash onto his back. His cries overtook the arena and your senses were once again flooded. There was no time for sympathy when he was still breathing and eager for your cannon to go off before his, so you approached his body and pushed the spear further in. The cannon rang out and you gave an exhaustive sigh of relief, wiping your face of its grime.

There was no time to rest when you'd heard a branch snap and whirled around only to see Birch. A perfect loop for what would haunt you.

              𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

This time when you woke up it was the numbness that hit. Thinking about how the sunshine ray of a boy who'd always supported you had been snuffed away because of you. You damaged him, Conway would've been happy to live a quiet seaside life with your families, kids and candy, he was so kind until you tore it all up with that urge to win. Maybe if you hadn't been so dark and dreary to his rays of sunlight he would have happily sacrificed himself for you and sent you back with a wish to take care of his family.

All to be with the man keeping you warm and safe now, from the ghosts of your own memories. You could feel his ocean eyes boring into you as you stared at the ceiling, he probably hadn't slept at all.

“Finnick?" Your voice sounded foreign to you, it was as if you were above yourself.

“Yes, angel?" His breath fanned into your neck, his nose nuzzling into the side. It relaxed you so well that it made you feel worse. Why did you deserve that comfort?

“If this had never happened, if it hadn't been my name, would you have come back to me?" Your body was stiff and freezing. If you had broken Conway's kind, overflowing heart for this kind of love you at least needed to know the truth.

“I'm sorry, I want to keep you so safe, so above it all, but I can't anymore." Finnick shook his head into your shoulder as he sat up, taking a deep breath. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and the fact he was holding back waterworks he didn't want to show anyone. “President Snow, ever since I won-" He was getting choked up on his words and you rubbed his shoulders, trying to relax his tensed muscles. “I'm popular, my love, the Capitol darling and so he lets people buy me." Finnick's voice was so quiet it could have been snapped in half with scissors.

The courage it took for him to open up about that was unfathomable to you so you just wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could. He'd left because he was ashamed, you felt bile rising in your throat, how could you have ever felt let down by him when he was battling so many demons everyday in isolation?

“Angel, I don't know what this means for you. That's the worst part, that's the selfish part. I should have given you more time to prepare, but I wanted to help you deal, but I can't.” He was crying and it was tearing your soul apart. " You deserve to know what could happen, they've already dubbed you with a nickname, you're so popular, it almost feels inevitable. Yet my heart drops in my chest every time it crosses my mind because you deserve so much better.”

You pulled your body away from his, catching his warm face in your cold hands." So do you.” It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest as you whispered this out and he embraced you once again. Pulling you back down to lie within the confines of the pillows. He would still struggle to vocalize all of his inner traumas with you, but you were a saving grace. So understanding, someone who at the end of the day he could wrap his arms around feel like he was at home with. Where he would think about collecting sea shells rather than the cruelty of the Capitol. 

“I love you." He let his honeycomb voice sit in the stagnant air, but wouldn't let you respond. “I know, my love. I know, you show me all the time."

You had no clue what lay ahead for either of you, but you had each other to help, to understand, to stare at the waters of District 4 with and know in at least that sense you were safer than most.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you so much for reading, comments, reblogs, likes, and feedback is all super appreciated. I have so many more ideas for Finnick but I'd been thinking about the games themselves and needed to get my thoughts out. so if you want to see more of my writing let me know!

@imaegonstargaryenswife0

#finnick odair angst #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair x reader #thg finnick #finnick odair #finnick x you #finnick x reader #finnick imagine #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair x reader angst #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader fluff #thg x y/n #thg x reader #thg

[lexithwrites]

lexith writes | @jegulus-microfic | 6th feb - murder 861 words

James was used to blood now. He still hated the smell, the hot, wet metallic that made his nose sting and his eyes water, but he was used to it. Coming home and having that familiar scent wafting through the flat didn’t make him pause, didn’t make his skin crawl or his stomach lurch. It was just normal.

When Regulus had first explained it all to him he had thought he was mad. Not Regulus, but himself. Maybe he had lost it? Had he just imagined a boyfriend and now he was a monster? Maybe…stranger things had happened. But then Regulus showed him, and he realized he wasn’t making it up. This was reality and it was a reality he could choose to leave, or choose to stay in. 

It was an easy choice. 

“Love?” He called softly, shutting and locking the door and putting down his backpack. There was some muffled movement from down the hall and he noticed the crack in the bathroom door where light was spilling out. At least it wasn’t their bedroom again. James had hated that. “Regulus? Do you need anything?” 

“No.” A sharp reply came and James couldn’t help but bite his lip when his boyfriend's voice came back strangled. Like he had something in his mouth that he hadn’t yet swallowed. 

“Okay. I’m gonna make dinner, alright?” No response, so James went into the kitchen and started dinner.

Normal. This was normal now, he reminded himself. 

Regulus’ feeding routine was the same every month. He tried to act like a regular person everyday. He ate food, drank water and sometimes alcohol. He went to parties and to his work and he smiled and laughed like everybody else, but sometimes, when he could no longer take it, he snapped.

That’s when it happened.

It was never a good person, or a nice person. He told James they were bad people, and he believed him. He knew Regulus well enough to trust he wouldn’t harm an innocent person, that he had to seek people out specifically for this. That had to mean something, right? It was murder but…maybe taking these kinds of people out was for the greater good.

That’s what James told himself, anyway. 

An hour passed before Regulus walked in, fresh out of the shower and looking beautiful. James had made himself some risotto his mother had once shown him, and was sitting at the kitchen table with a beer in front of him. He smiled when Regulus came in and reached for his hand. No blood. 

“How do you feel?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Can…later can you help me…” Regulus looked away. 

“Of course. You know I always will.” James wondered how heavy this person was going to be. Last time they’d been pretty skinny which meant clean up was a lot more straightforward. Regulus did have to try and pin them down after all, they couldn’t be that much bigger than him.

Regulus, instead of sitting in the opposite seat at the table, moved to curl into James’ lap, shoving his face into his neck and inhaling. James wasn’t scared of that anymore, knowing that he was the last person Regulus would ever turn on. He’d probably harm himself before doing that.

“I know you hate it. But you have to do it.”

“I should be eating animals.” He sniffled.

“We tried that and it wasn’t enough. It made you sick, love.”

“I’m already sick.” 

James pulled back and cupped his face. “You are not sick.” His voice was firm but comforting. He needed Regulus to believe this. He spiraled after feeding but he always needed to be brought back to the surface. James couldn’t lose him. “You have to survive just like everyone else.”

“But it’s wrong.” Regulus’ eyes were getting wet with tears. 

“I don’t think it’s wrong.” James said. “But I know it’s hard.” He leaned a little closer so their noses bumped. “I love you, Regulus. More than anything. I’m gonna help you, okay? Whatever I need to do. If you need me to start—”

A hiss bubbled in Regulus’ chest and James swallowed. 

“Okay, okay. I won’t. Promise.” Regulus sunk against him again. 

“It's just…blood is so good.” He sighed, fingers trailing over James’ pulse point. He smirked. This part was a little plus, the feeling afterwards. The high, the lust. Not that they needed it to sleep together, definitely not, but the sex was always a little more…animalistic. And James often ended up with some shoulder bites he could admire later on. 

“I wouldn’t know.” James said, looking into Regulus’ eyes. “But I could.”

“Jamie.” He warned.

“I mean it. Then we could both do this together, properly. You get scared you’ll hurt me but love, you could never hurt me. Especially if I’m like you.” James closed his eyes and he felt a kiss over each eye. 

“It hurts. To change.” Regulus whispered.

“It wouldn’t. Not from you.” James captured his lips in a kiss and then picked Regulus up. “All you make me feel is love.”

Regulus smiled, and James saw the small glint of his fangs. His beautiful, beautiful fangs.

#this went on for so long but i love it #unhinged jegulus #sign me up #the marauders #regulus black #james potter #lexith writes #starchaser #sunseeker #james x regulus #regulus x james #james potter x regulus black #regulus black x james potter #jegulus microfic

[legends-of-apex]

‘To Be Alone’ | Tommy Miller x Reader

Rating: 18+ (non-explicit smut, mentions of semi-public sex, fluff, kinda angsty)

Word Count: 650

Summary: A few years after the outbreak, you and Tommy have some time alone together and it’s the least lonely either of you have maybe ever felt. Reader is gender neutral. No use of Y/N. No spoilers for tlou. If you’d like to be added to the Tommy Miller tag list please lemme know <3

His chest shone bronze in what sliver of moonlight managed to cut through the boarded windows. It touched your shoulder too and despite your heavy breaths and warmth that meshed your bodies together, he worried you might suddenly feel empty and cold.

Your body felt like velvet gloved in his sandpaper skin. His palms were so rough and overworked that he felt he almost shouldn’t touch you. But he still burned to. Even after spending the better part of an hour touching you, tasting your skin, his hands still craved the warmth of you. So he made the decision to be selfish and let his hand glide over your bare shoulder.

When his breath evened, he spoke. “You know, back in the day I’d have taken you out to dinner first….. let you ride me in the restaurant’s parking lot till the car’s windows fogged up. If that took your fancy.” He'd have had some shitty CD blaring through the speakers too. The music would be just loud enough to mask your moans to passersby, loud enough that only he got to hear you.

“Here I thought you were trying to convince me you were a gentleman.” You joked and he smiled. It was a sweet thought, almost as sweet as the way you nestled your face in his neck and let a kiss linger there. If this night hadn’t begun with your back pressed against a wall, a shower of paint flecks dusting your hair and your clothes with each thrust, then maybe he could have been considered a gentleman. He certainly kissed like one.

“Maybe after that I’d drive you back home…kiss you underneath the porch light,” his lips pressed against your shoulder, the base of your neck.

It wouldn’t have been like this, was what he was trying to tell you. There would’ve more romance to it, more grandeur. He wouldn’t have made love to you in some abandoned apartment building where the bed creaked like it would collapse at any moment. It wouldn't have been a quick, need-filled endeavour either.

“So you would have been a gentleman? You keep acting like that then I’d have asked you to come inside.” He groaned as you tangled your hand in his tousled, inky hair and cupped the back of his head. Roles reversed, now he let himself sink into your warm embrace. He let you cradle him as though you had all the time in the world, like being here together was all that mattered. And the first time since the outbreak, he let himself breathe. Truly breathe.

He'd been dreaming about taking his time with you, of mapping your body with his. The entire time he thought about it he meant to be gentle. There was already enough harsh and roughness in the decaying world, of which you’d no doubt had your fair share. Why would he want to add himself to the list of things that made your body sore when he could treasure it? Yet when you finally snuck off and had a moment together he realised that you didn’t want gentleness; You wanted him. Nothing more. Nothing less. You reminded him that sometimes pleasure makes the body sore in the hours after. The scrape of your broken nails down his flannel-clad back was a feeling he would certainly treasure forever. Tommy just made sure to promise to be there when your body did begin to ache.

It was so long since either of you felt the touch of another in that way that despite the cold and the harshness of the room you made love in, it felt like being home. The world was such a lonely thing and you were, as everyone was, two lonely people just trying to survive.

What a blissful thing it was then; To be alone together.

#Tommy miller x reader #tommy miller #Tommy tlou #the last of us #tlou Tommy x reader #Gabriel Luna #fic #not sfw #k.exe #mywriting #tlou tv show #tlou hbo

[ephemerensis]

It’s Cold // Joel Miller x GN! Reader

you steal something important from joel and he gets a little (lot) angry // platonic ; maybe its bc its 2 am and i’ve been listening to pheobe bridgers but the ending has me open mouthed sobbing !! not proofread

song rec: day after tomorrow— phoebe bridgers

—

You’d been in the bedroom for a couple hours now, with the same three thoughts aimlessly looping through your brain; up until the front door crowed as it opened.

The sound of the door closing soon followed accompanied by heavy footsteps thumping against creaky floors on their way in.

“Did you find it?” That familiar gruff timbre filtered through the walls of your shitty QZ apartment.

“No,” Tess was quick to respond. You’d thought she’d left already. She usually wasn’t home at this time, off running an errand or something of the sort after her work detail. But she stayed today.

You couldn’t see him, but you could feel the tension in the air thicken then. Of course, you knew exactly where “it” was. And up until you got caught by Tess sneaking back into the apartment, you were happy to get rid of it.

I can talk to him. I didn’t know. He’ll understand.

At least that’s what you told yourself. It’s not like you didn’t mess up before, but Joel always came around; albeit in his own callous way. After all these years living together— all these years of him raising you, it was like a silent promise. Joel would be there for you. He loved you.

But this was different. You’d never messed up this bad. As soon as you confessed your undertakings, the look of creeping dread on Tess’s face was testament enough to how royally you fucked up.

You took his watch.

It was broken. Before he found you it was broken, and long after he never fixed it. Between fighting infected and scavenging for survival; there wasn’t exactly time for him to figure it out, you’d assumed. But now that you were safe enough, and life was almost domestic, and the man you considered a father had a birthday coming up— it was high time he got a working one.

So you stole it; with the intention of fixing it. But no one in the QZ had the tools or knowledge. You ended up trading it with a couple ration cards for a smaller, gold one that actually told time. And you were proud that for the first time ever you actually got to do something for him.

All of which came crashing down when Tess fed you the details of its origins.

Sarah.

The floorboards creaked as he got up, rummaging through the counters and shelves in a desperation to find it. Drawers were violently rammed shut in his frustration.

“Joel.” She said it gently. It made your brows furrow; Tess promised to let you resolve it on your own. It didn’t deter him though, hands still rummaging through whatever he hadn’t looked through yet.

“It doesn’t make sense, I take it off for thirty seconds and it just vanishes?” Panic bled in to his usually pessimistic tone. You couldn’t see him but you could picture it; his face stayed stony but in his eyes the anxiety that was starting to bubble up was prominent.

“Joel.” It was sterner this time. Louder. You had your ear pressed to do the paint chipped door at that point, leaning on it to try and gauge the situation.

“What?” The sound of things being shifted around stopped.

“It’s not here. You’re not gonna find it.”

Your eyes widened, and in panic you acted before you could properly comprehend what you were doing. Pushing the bedroom door open, you burst out pointing an accusing finger at the woman.

“You said I could fucking tell him!” Chest heaving, eyes wide as you turned and looked at Joel like a deer trapped in headlights.

“You do not talk to her like that,” he said sternly. Good. If he was still in a position to lecture you that meant he still cared.

Joel looked increasingly confused, looking between the two of you until his eyes latched on the glimmer of gold you had clutched in your hand. His gaze hardened, the change in his demeanor sent waves around the room.

Your breath hitched as you quickly pulled your arm back to hide it behind you, but he saw it. You knew that.

Tess had gotten up from where she was sitting, inching in your direction to try and mitigate the oncoming damage.

“What is that?” He spoke lowly, dangerously so. Everyone stood silent for a spell before you slowly unconcealed your arm and managed to pry your unwilling fingers open in front of him, the watch resting on your palm.

“Well- I-“ You didn’t usually stammer but with the bile rising in your throat and that sinking stomach feeling stomach sick striking your core it was too much. Your mouth opened and closed but the words didn’t come. You fucked up.

“What the fuck is that?” You’d seen him angry before. It wasn’t something he ever tried to hide from you, but you’d never seen him look at you like that. Like you were sidewalk gum.

“It’s your birthday and-“ He took a step forward and you took a step back, heel making contact with the wall behind you. The watch in your hand was too heavy and the thoughts in your head were too loud.

Why didn’t you let Tess do the talking? What were you thinking? Getting the watch? Intervening? Joel was right to be mad. How could he ever look at you like he hated you?

“How’d you get it?” He cut you off. But you were too muddled to comprehend him.

“The other one didn’t even work!” Words fell out before you could know what you were saying, “you just kept looking at it and I know and I—“

The thoughts got louder. Your throat got tighter.

“And I just thought that if I-I— Dad—“

The word slipped from you like a plea. You’d only called him that a handful of times, when desperation felt so thick you could taste it. Your first thunderstorm. Your first clicker. Colder nights.

His eyes would soften. He’d call to you and comfort you and you could burrow in his embrace and then, everything would dissipate.

“You’re not my daughter.”

You blinked. Every nerve you had froze over. The thoughts in your head silenced. The walls in the room started closing in. And the worst part was the way he looked at you. Straight into your eyes with a hate you’d never known to see. Then the world was too quiet.

“I’m not your fucking dad. I’m never gonna be your fucking dad. Your dad is six feet under with mushrooms crawling up his throat and thats what he deserves for bringing a fucker like you into the world!” He spat it at you and all you knew you could feel were the tears pooling in your eyes. You couldn’t breathe and it hurt because he had never hurt you.

“Joel!” Tess interjected, staring at the man in disbelief.

“Fuck you!” You choked it out, pushing past the two of them and bolting out the door.

The creeping feeling in your throat magnified, tasting something like betrayal. But it pained you more to know that it was true. He never belonged to you, he just volunteered to be there for you. And it was unfair and anger inducing and all so real.

You didn’t know where you were going, you just ran. Feet pounding against the wooden floors until you made it out of the building. You felt the knobs of the watch face indent your skin as you gripped it in your flight. Even then you didn’t stop; you needed to get away.

The apartment felt frozen, locked in a stunned silence. Tess had her mouth agape, staring at the still open door you’d just burst out of. She was first to break the stupor, “Joel what the fuck was that?”

His gaze was hardened, turned towards the floor. But he said nothing.

“I know you’re upset, but we could’ve talked about it!”

“What, Tess? Talk about what? They’re not Sarah and they ain’t ever gonna fucking be Sarah!” He’d only raised his voice at her once before, when he thought she was going to be mauled by an Infected, but never more than that. And for the first time in a long time, she couldn’t read him.

“They never needed to be.” Tess knew he hurt. How could he not? Before everything, Sarah was all he had. But you were alive now. And you were a person, and not a replacement. You weren’t a ghost, or a symbol, or a chance of redemption. You were a, albeit stupid, kid.

“It’s curfew,” she said, going to sling a bag over her shoulders, “we have to go after Y/N before Fedra throws their ass in lockup. I don’t think they could’ve gotten far so if we—“

“I don’t care.” He cut her off. So she left without another word.

If he continued not caring, he had a shitty way of showing it. When Tess pushed the door open a couple hours later, he perked up to crane his neck at the door. Silently crestfallen when you didn’t follow her in.

The next couple days were the same. He asked around on work duty, radioed Bill and Frank when he could, searched on his off time. They both did, but you never turned up.

And then it was two weeks.

And almost a month.

There was a window in the bedroom with a broken latch. It can’t stay closed. So, most days, especially in summer, you all just kept it open. But, as you scaled the fire escape, you found that tonight it was pushed shut.

Inside it was dark, but the moonlit let in enough for you to see that no one occupied the bed. Placing a hand on the glass, you pressed it open with relative ease. Slipping your hand in your pocket you pulled out Joel’s watch. You ran a thumb over the cracked face, watching the glow in the dark numbers fluoresce in the night.

You clambered in slowly, getting half way through before hearing an all too familiar creak. You forgot to check the armchair.

Your head whipped in the direction of the sound, heart pounding as your eyes made contact with the ones that looked at you with such malice a few weeks prior.

“Y/N?”

Dropping the watch on the nightstand, you immediately moved to climb back out but he was faster.

Before you’d made it one rung down, your wrist was caught in the palm of his calloused hand.

The tears sprung before you could stop them. You gave your arm a sharp tug, but he held fast. So you gave up, the both of you just opting to stare instead.

He looked tired, if the bags under his eyes were any indication. But his gaze wasn’t the one you left him with. You saw a warmth that made it hurt worse than before.

You were worse for wear, but you’d sen darker days. A bruise bloomed over your left eye, and your clothes had a few more holes than they did to start. He studied you, cupping your face with his free hand. It was so gentle you cried.

“I thought you were mad at me.” He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. Of course that’s the first thing you think to say. Shaking his head, he released you, gesturing for you to come back in. You did.

“Of course I was mad at you, I’m still mad at you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” Your bottom lip quivered. He’d never said that before. Yelling and nagging, he could do but he never told you he loved you. Or that he cared.

“I brought it back. Your old one.” Your hands were balled at your side, trying to fight the tears you knew were inevitable.

“I didn’t— if I knew I never would’ve—“ You gasped as he pulled you into a tight embrace. You missed it, the way his arms around you felt more secure than any walls erected on earth. The way it was warm, and so familiar and it was just so unbearably cold outside in the middle of June. You couldn’t help but sob.

“I know, baby. I know.” He almost whispered it, the words felt so secret. They were yours.

You shoulders shook, “I’m so so sorry, Joel.”

“Dad, will do just fine.”

#tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou angst #joel miller #joel x reader #joel x male reader #joel x female reader #pedro pascal #daddy pedro #joel miller x reader

[bad268]

It's Always Been Minho Pt. 2 (TMR Minho X Reader)

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Requested: Yeah, i saw yall asking for part 2 so here it is (thanks @dearestwonderland for the idea! I strayed a bit (a lot) but I left it open for a potential part 3)

Warnings: WICKED

POV: First POV (I/me/she/her)

W.C. 2305

Summary: They survived, but at what cost?

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<- Part 1

~~(^Google/Wiki fandom)

I couldn’t see. The sun was blaring down more than it ever did in the maze, and the rays reflected off of the never-ending sight of sand. This was nothing like the glade.

The glade was safe to me. Sure, I was running into the maze every other day and nearly killing myself, but other than that, there weren’t random things out to get me. There weren’t natural elements or random people with the flare after me. Out here, it was brutal.

It was also very awkward. I could tell that the boys felt it too. Maybe it was the feelings Minho and I had not talked about. Maybe it was how Teresa really was not a trustworthy person. Maybe it was because we were spending our days walking through sand and could die at any point. 

We had not even been out of the WICKED facility for longer than a few days but it felt like had been at least a month. All of the days blurred together. Every day was just sand, walking, wind, walking, sand. One day, we finally saw something promising; a city. That was when we finally got a moment to regain our barrings.

I finally had a moment to myself. I was sitting and hiding in a corner of the room we had barricaded ourselves in, and I just wanted to enjoy the solitude after having no breaks. At one point I leaned against the wall and dosed off.  I must have been out for a few hours because when I woke up, the sun was gone and everyone else was asleep. 

Everyone except Minho.

He was standing by a metal trashcan that was lit on fire, trying to stay warm. I walked over to stand beside him, cold as well. It did not take him long to detect the very noticeable shiver I made every once in a while, so he moved his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

“I think it’s time we talk,” I whispered, leaning into his side, but not looking at him. “We haven’t had the chance, but there’s no one to interrupt us now.”

“I like where this is heading,” He smirked, tightening his hold. I immediately scoffed, pushing his arm off of me, and turned to glare at him. “What? It’s a joke!”

“Not everything needs to be sexual,” I answered annoyed as I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m just acting like I did before the maze,” He admitted, “I always made those kinds of jokes with you, and you loved them.”

“Well, newsflash Minho! Not everyone remembers life before the maze!” I pointed out as I shook my head in disbelief. “Pre-maze me may have loved that, but pre-maze me also didn’t have to endure all the sexist comments of the guys around her. Forgive me for not finding a sexual joke funny after being ridiculed for my gender for three years straight.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-” he tried to start, but I cut him off.

“No! You don’t realize!” I nearly shouted. “Minho, you were the worst of them all! You think that suddenly you remember that we were in a relationship makes it all okay, but it doesn’t! I will always remember the things you said to me, and no amount of apologies will fix that. Nothing will bring me back to the girl you remember because, to me, she never existed.”

He was speechless for a moment, absorbing everything I just said. In the midst of my rant, neither of us saw Thomas, Newt, and Teresa wake up, and move closer to see what was going on. After a few beats, he finally said, “I understand that you don’t remember, and I’m sorry I treat you like you should. I just thought that since you saved me in the maze, it meant you felt something toward me, so I took that as a green light.”

“Minho,” I shook my head disappointedly, “not every kind gesture a girl does for you means that they like you. From this point forward, I’m going on my own. Hopefully, I’ll see you in the safe haven, and if not, we’ll die trying.”

I did not give any of them the chance to respond as I turned and walked out of the building. Despite their protests, I kept walking, and I did not turn back. I found an abandoned shack not too far from the original building which was great because I heard the distinct groaning of the cranks nearby. 

The next day, I was up bright and early. I did not want to waste any time in building a distance between me and Minho. That was the last thing I needed. After walking for a few days straight, I found another city. This one looked like people still lived in it. I went up to the gates and knocked.

It took a while, but eventually, a guard came to the door, holding a gun pointed at me. I threw my hands up in surrender. “Please, I’m unarmed!”

“State your business,” he said.

“I’m immune, and I’m trying to find anyone. I’ve been on my own,” I explained quickly. He dropped his gun, not entirely but enough to make me feel less threatened. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Who are you?” I told him my name and he nodded and allowed me to enter. “I have to take you to the leaders.”

“Leaders? What is this? A monarch?” I joked, and I received a small smile from the guard.

“No, just the people that keep us from killing each other,” He explained as we walked into one of the bigger buildings. Inside there was not much. A few beds, some stocked up food, and some blankets. He pointed to a couple of crates stacked to look like a chair before saying, “Stay here.”

I sat down and just caught my breath. That’s when it all hit me. Sure, I left the only friends I knew on my own accord, but that did not make it hurt any less. I missed Thomas. I missed Newt. Hell, I missed Minho. I will never admit to missing Teresa though. I still had the nagging feeling that she was a traitor. I did not have to wait too long for the leaders to come into the open space, and when they did, my jaw dropped. 

“Gally?”

“No way, you’re the single trying to join us,” Gally muttered to himself mostly.

“I left the group,” I admitted, knowing he probably thought they died during the journey. “I could not stand to be in Minho’s presence, and I had a bad feeling about Teresa.”

“You and me both, honestly,” He chuckled, and that was the first time I actually laughed with him. “You can stay,” I directed at me before turning to the other leaders and guards around them, “I want her with me at all times. She’s tough. Don’t underestimate her, am I clear?”

That was the day I became one of the guards. I patrolled the premises with Gally every day, talking shit and having fun. Yes, we were constantly running for our lives, but that did not mean we could not have fun too. 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. All of it blurred together until one night there was a horrible storm. It was the first time it ever rained that I could remember. Granted, it never rained in the glade, so it did feel like it was the first time.

I decided to sit under a covering but still outside, watching in awe of the weather. Eventually, Gally sat beside me, and we sat in silence for a while just enjoying the rain. 

“Are you ever gonna tell me the real reason you split?” Gally broke the silence as he looked over at me. “I know you wouldn’t have left Thomas or Newt unless the circumstances pushed you to it. And you don’t have to tell me! It’s just-“

“He wants me to forget everything that happened,” I muttered, stopping him short. “Minho wants to pick up where we were before the Glade, but I don’t have a memory before the Glade. Plus, he wants me to completely disregard everything he said in the Glade. All the sexist comments, I can’t look past those.”

“Speaking of that, I’m sorry for how I acted in there too,” he apologized. “It was weird having a girl in there, and I got defensive.”

“You’re fine, Gally,” I dismissed immediately. “You stopped after a few months, but this guys kept at it for all three years. That’s three years of me being torn down over and over. That shit hurt, and I don’t think I can just look past that.”

“Maybe, give it time. This time away from him could help you sort yourself out. Think how you really feel about him, if you could ever see yourself with him, and what he would have to do to regain your trust,” Gally consoled. Silence fell between us once again as I started thinking about what Gally said. Could I see myself with him after everything? Maybe. Is that toxic? Yes, but he’ll work for it. My thoughts got interrupted by Gally chuckling, causing me to look over at him questionably. “Nothing, I can just see the gears turning. You can see yourself with him, but you’re upset that he did all this to you.”

“Are you sure you weren’t a therapist or something?” I laughed, lightly punching his shoulder. “But yes. I could see myself with him eventually.”

“Then sleep on it, and maybe we’ll try to find them tomorrow,” Gally suggested as he stood up. He held out a hand for me, which I took as I stood in front of him.

“Deal, I’ll see you in the morning.”

~

The morning was hell. Early that morning, after it stopped raining but before the sun was out, a group was frantically banging on the gate. Unfortunately, Gally and I were the only ones still awake, so we went to check it out.

The last people I expected to see were Newt and Thomas. I immediately noticed that Minho was missing, Thomas looked scared, and Newt had black veins. I knew he had the flare, so I stepped back, providing backup and Gally questioned them while Newt and Thomas just looked at us in awe.

“We thought you both died,” Thomas said, disregarding the entire shpeel that Gally said. “Never thought we’d see you guys again.”

“Well contrary to popular belief, I can take care of myself,” I piped up, moving to stand beside Gally rather than behind him. “Speak of the devil, where is he?”

“That’s why we need your help,” Newt spoke up. He sounded broken like the flare was destroying him from the inside out (spoiler: it was). “He was taken by WICKED, and you were right about Teresa. She was giving WICKED our location the entire time.”

“Maybe next time believe a girl’s intuition,” I replied sarcastically. “And what do you mean ‘taken by WICKED’?”

“During the storm, we found a shack and hid out in it, but Teresa must have known about it because WICKED soldiers were already there,” Thomas explained before looking down. “They ambushed us and took Minho while we all ran.”

“What happened to no man left behind?” Gally exclaimed, reciting the first rule for the runners. One that he knew well since he was such close friends with Ben. “Did any of you fight for him?”

“We did but we can’t really do much against guns,” Newt deadpanned. “That’s why we need your help. You guys have guns, cars, and a helicopter. We can fly into the city and save him.”

“If we’re saving Minho, I would like to propose a sub mission if you will,” I offered, turning to Gally. “As much as I would love to reconcile with Minho, I don’t give a shit if we actually save him, but I’ll be damned if we don’t get the cure. I think that should be the focus.”

Maybe there was some truth behind my words. Maybe there wasn’t. Gally didn’t buy it, but we still decided to go forward with the plan to get the cure. And sure, save Minho in the process.

Minho, on the other hand, was going insane. The last conversation we had was on replay in his head all day every day. Despite the hours of torturing WICKED did to him, all by Teresa’s hand, nothing hurt him more than knowing he fucked up. While sitting in his cell after one of the more brutal beatings, he decied this was his punishment for royally fucking up. Moreover, he decided that it was justified. 

He hated seeing the look of disgust on my face as soon as he made the first comment in the Glade. He also hated seeing the look of defeat after the keepers meeting where I petitioned on Thomas’s behalf. He hated everything he did, and in isolation, all he was left with was his thoughts. 

That is until he heard commotion outside. He thought it was in his head at first and did not want to get his hopes up. However, when he heard keys in the lock, he cowered away, thinking it was a guard to take him again for testing. He closed his eyes and held his head in his hands until he felt gentle palms pull them away. He slowly peeled his eyes open to meet her familiar orbs.

“Hey, we gotta get you outta here. Thomas and Newt are getting the cure, but I need you to follow me now. We’ll talk it out when we’re in the safe haven.” Y/n. It was Y/n. It’s always been Y/n.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

#the maze runner minho x reader #the maze runner minho #tmr minho x reader #minho x reader #tmr minho #minho #minho x y/n #tmr minho x you #minho tmr #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner #tmr

[inuhiime]

:: 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ! ──── ⪩⪨ 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

‘ you have turned down god’s will, refused your own story. what will you make of this? ’

‘ you’ll still suffer in the end, and you’ll still be some kind of dead, anyway ’

‘ you say that fate is what intertwines us, but aren’t you the one who always comes back to me? ’

‘ we are not made for sacrifice. who said you are meant to carry this weight alone? ’

‘ can you carry these burdens until the end of time? ’

‘ who has done this to you, love? who has made you into a being of ruin and pushed you into the abyss even further? ’

‘ you are no greater than humanity ; your origins will be your downfall ’

‘ did you think we could both survive this? ’

‘ where does it go : the love that survives in you? ’

‘ yes, it is lonely, this place of brutality ’

‘ where did it go, your heart? ’ 

‘ i already know you for who you are, not who you choose to act as ’

‘ there’s always tomorrow, dearest. we can try again tomorrow ’

‘ when will you learn that you, in the end, are human? ’

‘ you have chosen the worst ending for yourself, haven’t you? ’

‘ i can’t promise nothing bad will happen, but i can promise that we’ll make it out of here ’

‘ it can’t happen again. not this time ’

‘ if numbness is a cruelty, then what must the gods call this? ’ 

‘ yes, this is all we’ll ever know ’

‘ if you shatter, you will die. you will be forgotten and everything you have fought for will die, too ’

‘ when is it that you can shatter under the weight of the world? ’

‘ there are other ways to break my heart, you know ’

‘ it is so terribly hard to be human ’

‘ this world is meant for ruin, and only one of us is meant to survive it ’

‘ there is no forgiveness in sight, so the suffering will always be felt, and maybe it is supposed to be that way ’

‘ you have always managed to put my heart at ease ’

‘ this life is very much a cruel and painful one, isn’t it? ’

‘ no, nothing good will come of this ’

‘ you are at war with yourself ’

‘ you are not as frightening as you let on ’

‘ you were born from everything that burdens my heart. do you think i would yearn for more? ’

‘ don’t you want to play the innocent part here? ’

‘ do you ever wonder if this is our second chance? ’

‘ you are helpless and weak and you cannot even save the person you love ’

‘ time is nearing. i hope you’re ready ’

‘ fate knows best of all ’

‘ have i at all made a difference in your existence? ’

‘ we have met before. who were you to me? ’

‘ no one is meant to know the severity of such loss ’

‘ i won’t leave you. you have me until the end ’

‘ it’s safer to cut your losses, better to cut out what causes the pain before it hurts you ’

‘ this is not a betrayal, because betrayals are meant to hurt ’

‘ what a very selfish thought to have ’

‘ you will survive this. you have to ’

‘ what happens when there is nothing left?’

‘ you are lying to me. i know this ’

‘ now now, i thought you would enjoy this more ’

‘ there are things worse than death ’

‘ you force my hand when you know all along that we are not meant to be enemies ’

‘ there is always love in what could be lost ’

‘ you surround yourself with the dead because that’s all you know ’

‘ you keep getting blood on your hands ’

‘ i don’t regret joining your side, not one bit, so don’t start thinking otherwise ’

‘ yes, i am aware that you are in love with me ’

‘ so what is it that makes you different? ’

‘ did you love, just as i have? did you regret it? ’

‘ you’ll get the life you deserve. i promise ’

‘ i’ll grant you the kindest ending, erase you from an existence you never deserved ’

‘ you’ll worry your pretty little head off, sparrow ’

‘ i never gave you my word ’

‘ am i losing myself? should i run? ’

‘ i don’t think any of us are innocent here ’

‘ i almost ended the world once ’

‘ not even that will you save from being torn apart by me ’

‘ no matter this life or the next, even the past, i am grateful to spend it with you ’

‘ we can work together, find some way in ’

‘ what judgment will you pass upon me? ’

‘ grief is a very hard thing to swallow, isn’t it? ’

‘ you have always done enough ’

‘ the pain will be worth it. it always is ’

‘ it’s better to hope that you can live, not survive ’

‘ isn’t that what you want? for me to fall? ’

‘ it’ll be fine. no one can hurt me ’

‘ what will you do? pick off my limbs, one by one, and decide whether you love me or not? ’

‘ you are both monster and human alike ’

‘ how do you bring an end to a relentless suffering that follows you throughout the lifetimes? ’

‘ even then, you’re just human in the end ’

‘ in all your years of existence, do you ache? have you ever been happy? ’

‘ tell me what name you have chosen for me in this life ’

‘ i should always be sad. you’re much nicer this way ’

‘ you may be the one who is doing the saving, after all ’

‘ how can you love someone you have known for so little of your life? ’

‘ we have known each other before this, haven’t we? ’

‘ you are only human, and what is humanity if not for the longing of it all? ’

‘ not a pleasant welcome home gift, is it? ’

‘ there is nothing here for you. you should go home now ’

‘ as long as you come home to me, that’s all i need ’

‘ lonely? i have you, don’t i? ’

‘ you are more than your darkness ’

‘ it would be good to consider your advice and use it for yourself ’

‘ so you tend to me, not out of love, but out of convenience? ’

‘ better to keep to yourself and do what needs to be done ’

‘ if you have another nightmare, i’ll be here when you wake ’

‘ what is there to be said? ’

‘ i didn’t like you when we first met ’

‘ you are not who you were before ’

‘ there will always be a good ending with you ’

‘ you’ve caused more trouble than you’re worth. what did you expect would happen? ’

‘ it is corruption that triumphs over love ’

‘ what does one do with regret and failure? ’

#sentence starters #sentence prompts #sentence starter meme #rp starter #rp meme #all of these are original lines pulled from my fics :^)) #⪩⪨ ･･･ lit #⪩⪨ ･･･ original

[dudeyuri]

I'm having thoughts and feelings about bad buddy must be a day that ends in y. But like, last episode tomorrow, kind of verklempt, need to word vomit

My first watch of Bad Buddy kind of smacked me upside the head. I know this is not a unique experience. I was left reeling for a bit. Watching Bad Buddy was the first thing I did in 2023 and I watched all 12 episodes in one sitting like a glutton and I stayed up til 1am even though I had to get up at 4am the next day (I haven't done stupid shit like that since college). Then I started my rewatch the next day. Then I put it aside for months because it was actually a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I just...never?? encountered such a fulfilling narrative that followed through on all its promises. Even with its deliberate deceptions and twists and uncertainties - I put my trust in Bad Buddy's narrative and was rewarded for doing so like never before.

It got me from the first episode - the first episode did what I think almost every first episode should do: tell you exactly what the story is going to be, without telling you exactly what the story is going to be. Fantastic writing, deliberate pacing, satisfying character development, pitch-perfect acting, all top-notch. It kept the energy up all throughout even as it got heavier, and stuck the landing in such a profound and bittersweet way. This was the first Thai BL I've ever watched, and probably the third BL I've ever watched period. One of my first impressions after finishing it even for the first time was that it was, maybe above all else, self aware.

My initial impression was also not a unique one: so far this is funny, charming, an exciting premise. And by episode 4 I was starting to get hit with it: this story is all those things and a knife in your gut, a lump in your throat. And it's queer, and it's tragic. Like, from the jump we see the two households both alike in dignity, we know what this is: it's Romeo and Juliet (or Kwan and Riam). We know how it ends. Pran knows how it ends. They teased us the whole show with Pran's decor, his doorknob hanger, like this show's version of a comedy and tragedy mask - what's it going to be? How's it going to end? Everyone watching knows how romcoms typically end. But everyone also knows how Romeo and Juliet ends.

In a move that can really only be described as revolutionary, Bad Buddy decided that queering the Romeo and Juliet narrative meant a happy ending. With caveats, but happy and alive and together. It was as simple as two characters finding their agency in a world trying to deprive them of it, seeing every path around them that led to tragedy, and instead trailblazing a new one that led to happiness. (everything that could be said about this has already been said; I look to this essay by @chickenstrangers often!! helped me make sense of pat gets shot lol. MK I hope you're not sick of people linking this left and right). It's a narrative choice that resounds.

I was personally struck by that specific pain Pat and Pran experience, the pain of having to lie to your parents and keep love a secret from them - is there a queer person out there who doesn't relate to that in a bone-achingly deep way? Regardless of your relationship with your family. Having to partition yourself like this is part of the queer experience. And it's exhausting because you just have to live like this. It's exhausting because the people who are supposed to love you have made a liar of you instead. You can be surviving and thriving and happy, but your parents will still ask your siblings about their love lives and ask you about the weather (too real??? oops). There's a hint at a possible thawing in the final episode that gives hope, but Bad Buddy does not magically make the parents realize they were wrong and accept their sons' love - I mean, that just doesn't happen. It would have made for a disingenuous ending, it would have been a disservice to the narrative and to the viewers and to the metaphor. If you're lucky enough to have parents who would, you're lucky. It's a sad truth. "We can't change the world...but the world can't change us either."

At first glance, Bad Buddy plays in the "BL bubble". Upon a slightly closer examination Bad Buddy says there can never really be a bubble--stories aren't crafted in a vacuum, the dominant ideology that is homophobia traumatizes and endangers and oppresses all who do not align with it, still there are happy endings for us here. We find each other and carve them out ourselves. To say all this, and to not veer into heavy-handed "yeah okay we get it" territory is a feat honestly! Seldom accomplished in such a riveting and sexy way! How refreshing! Bad Buddy reminded me of reading a good poem - upon first read, a good poem is about "a thing," and it's evocative as is and you don't even have to read it again to enjoy it. But you can also consider it carefully and unearth "the other thing," a deeper meaning, the answer to "why was this written?". Bad Buddy trusts its viewers to get there. I mean I know it's really not much of a hidden message, but again, they are subtle with it, iykyk etc. BB doesn't hold our hand, but it takes our trust and respects it and doesn't break it (though it shakes the jar, like quite a bit, lol. All good stories should tbh).

I think a lot about the form, too. In a less capable storyteller's hands 12 one-hour-long episodes can drag (I'm thinking of some recent gmmtv BLs lol), or even not be enough (I feel like I personally see that in a lot of western shows whose fanbases are out here begging for second seasons to tie up loose ends). P'Aof (and co.) knew exactly what to do with 12 episodes. Has anyone in the entire history of TeleVision ever known what to do with 12 one-hour-long episodes as undeniably as P'Aof and co in making Bad Buddy??

I know I'm being a little dramatic, excessively lauding good writing like this. Like yeah stories should be good and thoughtful and make sense, of fucking course. But I just have to appreciate it in a genre, in a capitalist reality, where a story does not have to be profound or clever or full of love to be marketable. They truly did not have to go this hard. (Though the writer in me who now considers Aof a personal idol also thinks: yes of course they absolutely did have to go this hard in fact It Is The Only Way). I'm so so grateful for it for so many reasons!! And I didn't even breach the topic of how fun and sexy I think Pat and Pran are together. Didn't even mention the fingersucking, the scent kink, the kissies - all genuinely just as important to me as everything else. It's all in the making of a good story! I am taking notes through my tears and I am so thankful

#bad buddy #when you adapt the most adapted tragic love story ever and ‘knocked it out of the park’ is an understatement

[runningfrom2am]

leave it to me to make a 18-point commentary on a 2.8k oneshot 🤭

10. "Yes, well... we have never been well liked." i really like how this comes out as if she really has spent time thinking about where they went wrong and trying to rationalise it. also i don’t if it was intentional on your part but this adds to her not getting over being retired as the head gamemaker because of people.

11. it feels like they weren’t allowed to be together, until her last night, following the days of coin’s takeover, she is looking out to her garden but at the same time, to her husband. also she is given the chance of staying in her bedroom but he is down with the roses and the raspberries.

12. her pride and the fact that what sejanus is asking of her is an act of betrayal by her definition are the greatest obstacles that stand in the way of her survival but as the one who believed in and actively tried to observe “humanity unmasked” she knew taking the offer was the only way for her to go.

13. her realising that she is alive by luck and past impressions, just like sejanus, must’ve been chilling because not only it breaks the illusion of power she had at the time, but while sejanus was spared, she was left alone and those two are very different.

14. “Were you really any better than him?” i want to believe you didn’t tell him that you had killed and buried sejanus so thanks to the power of important details, you are, in this sense.

15. i hope nothing bad happened to their kids but at the same time it doesn’t seem likely for them to not have partaken in the games at all, considering the ages. maybe they didn’t get executed thanks to the mockingjay.

16. HER FINAL SALUTE!!!

17. the fact that coin probably let her go by the condition of carrying her plan of hurting snow is very in character, he couldn’t have known about the celebration beforehand.

18. he mourned the death of his love twice and at both, she was alive even if meant to be dead. her “deaths” could be traced back to him by a very thin line, in his knowledge but her real tragedies were having to leave everything she has known behind.

NO BC AS YOU SHOULD AND I AM EATING IT UP i love talking ab this so pls do haha

10. okay yes and that was NOT intentional but i do love that it makes sense. in hindsight you’re totally right (not us just talking ab things that are canon to this that just aren’t in the fic hahah)

11. absolutely coin demanded they be separated immediately. bc SO MUCH of their power was power they shared- they did it all together, so separating them (and no doubt publicizing this somehow) is the first signal to the rebellion and the districts that it really was over, they won. even though few people know this, it is a massive accomplishment on their behalf to even be able to separate them bc of their history of what they have done just to stay together. including but not limited to: coryo risking r’s life for the chance that she would be sent away with him, killing mayfair, sending the recording of sejanus (bc if he left he would leave them to be executed “just for knowing him” and also he would be putting a SPOTLIGHT on where r had been hiding), and even allegedly killing lucy gray. (and by few people who know this, i mean sejanus and lucy gray who no doubt shared these stories to some in 13.)

12. she tried to fight it, but deep down she knew she couldn’t really say no. her “conditions” were a final act of power that she could really have, to convince herself this was a smart decision. yes she was betraying her husband, but she made sejanus promise that their granddaughter would not be harmed. maybe she even negotiated to get custody of her while she is in hiding. so it was a betrayal, BUT she had several reasons.

13. YES and same thing i mentioned on the last one about her conditions applies here.

14. oh absolutely she is nowhere near as guilty as him, but that’s hard for her to believe because of how extremely highly she regards him even then. she almost wanted to find more blame to place on herself so they were still level.

15. we can hope not, but like you said considering the ages, i think they have done some unforgivable things too. i think r and coryo know that as well.

16. i cried while writing it bc ✋ shut up it’s so sad

17. oh for sure. but ALSO can we consider the possibility that she didn’t even know? bc what we do know is that many of her higher ups knew that she wasn’t much better than the previous presidential couple. when katniss shoots her, plutarch is smiling bc that’s what needed to happen and he knew it. i think sejanus and lucy gray didn’t like her either, so it’s entirely possible that they hoped this is what katniss would do, maybe she even told lucy gray that that was her plan. it’s not too far fetched to guess that sejanus could organize this without coin’s knowledge. coin would love the idea of hurting the president by having an over the top celebration about his wife’s murder, but would that be worth letting her live? maybe not. idk just something to think about haha

18. I KNOWWW IM SO SAD FOR HIM TOO. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. she’ll be grappling with that decision for a long time knowing that AGAIN he is grieving her death, but this time he will never find out that she is still alive.

#i have the answers #ltpf <3 #that-veela-girl

[cyanichexanthine]

Ok sort of a continuation of my prickcest thoughts posts as promised. Parts one and two here with a maybe addendum. Also fair warning, a very long post of compiled thoughts. Under a read more bc it's way too long lmao

That final scene of Rick beating the shit out of Prime, out of himself, being so painful to watch? Yes, and it’s meant to be, because I think we are seeing Prime still trying to reason with Rick. Ricks don’t just outright talk, they only seem to talk with barbed tongues and petty actions. He was calling him out on literally becoming him. Rick took his place in his family. He literally did become their Rick. Living with the Prime family, he became Rick Prime because as far as they knew, he WAS Prime coming back years later. It’s so guttural and bitter because he’s still, even after all this time, trying to reach Rick. To make him see the truth one last time before he makes a decision he is going to regret, and Prime knows this, because he knows himself. 

Earlier in the episode he says “I upgraded this thing by the way, the new version can fire more than once, so now I can erase your whole family, one by one until you finally learn your lesson. Which you won't, so then I’ll kill you too.”

What lesson was Prime trying to teach Rick? There are a few options but I firmly believe Rick’s rejection has been hanging over him for so long, especially since he chose family over Prime and “infinity”. A LOT of other Ricks seemed to accept portal tech and leave, who wouldn’t, it’s a semi inevitability. He made all these traps and filters for C137. The Diane bomb spider thing having the pink diane killing bomb tubing on the side of its head (credits for catch on this to @Trucknoisettes on this one in a private chat we had post episode) which likely predates the omega device, something others who had their Diane’s dissolved in a green fizzle likely wouldn’t recognise.

Rick also recognised the device “he built it again.” (It does make me wonder with the gap between Rick’s Diane getting bombed and all Dianes getting wiped, is this the almost death encounter Rick had that Unity knew of? Did Rick confront him the first time the omega device was made and fail? Has Prime been making the hunt ever more elaborate over time to force Rick to become more to overcome it?)

The eldritch goo trap slide having bars of different heights for each participant seen here and an addition here that seem to be measuring and filtering the Ricks that get this close. C137s was one of the highest of all of them, so what was it measuring? Maybe, it was looking for someone who matched himself. Prime. He always calls other Ricks inferior or lesser. But I think this just supports that it’s always been about that same level thing. Because deep down Prime really did want to hold on to that person who met him as an equal, and he never did let go (leaving clawmarks in everything you love huh Prime? Just like Rick does.) (Also interestingly another top scorer for the Prime slide bar height is the guy who said attachments are death. Hmm, interesting thing we’ve heard about the Rickest Rick, who lacks these. Wonder who “died” this ep too.)

What the trap voiceover says at the start also does seem kinda bitter.

“If you’re seeing this, you’re me. Except less. But you acted like you were better so I killed your beloved Diane, partly to devastate you, mostly so I only had to record one message.“

The trap itself is all inescapable odds. Except for someone like Prime, or again someone on his level. To be fair Rick did have Evil Mortys help here, in the form of EMs beyond the curve portal gun and Rick’s own combined with the eldritch prime clone goo. But I think Rick wouldn’t have survived this alone, because I think at this stage, Rick wasn’t ready to face Prime, not by Prime’s standards. Rick even did say that no one has escaped this before and he likely wouldn’t have either alone. The goo gave him what currently seems to be the final showdown location. Meaning Rick should be “ready” for it. The top filtered Rick.

It’s also likely this is how Prime knew it was “wife guy” or c137 who made it through. Maybe from both the goo trap slide readings and the fact he only ever expected c137 to survive to the bitter end and have the ability to seek him out. Because he knows he would be able to figure this all out, and to him, he (Prime) and Rick are the same. It was all incredibly personal, so it only fits that this lesson is incredibly personal and bitter too. 

By removing every one of Rick’s family members from existence like he did Diane, he’s removing all possible distractions from Rick becoming just like him where the only person left will be himself “the only person we like”, where his only other remaining irrational attachment left is Prime. It was all about this imo, reinforced by being bitter of Rick taking a holier than thou family man approach. And this is supported by what he says to Rick. 

“Admit it, you would have been me. I just walked into your garage, before you walked into mine.”

You would have been me. Prime believes that they are so fundamentally alike that this was inevitable, they are two forms of the same person to him, in the closest possible meaning of it. That even without his intervention, Rick would have left just like he did. 

So it does make me think, is Rick, himself, the only other person Prime has felt such a deep and meaningful connection to, someone who gets him, thinks like him, helped him to invent and create and become more? Is Prime actually some twisted obsessive parallel of self love to Rick’s self hatred and loathing? 

This parallels so nicely with the Beths too, I know it was discussed that the Beths are a nice parallel of self love and acceptance to Rick and Primes self loathing. But I think Prime is also a form of self love, just the over the top unhealthy kind, because Ricks struggle with love, a lot. It’s never healthy, i.e. attachments motif again I think? I also wonder if Rick does truly resent so much of himself? Like did he resent his initial attachment to Prime and cut it off? Did he resent his life back then and even now? It sure seems like it. Rick is just as broken but in the polar opposite direction. I don’t think his self loathing starts or ends with Prime, but it’s part of him, and he needs to learn to accept himself and others on a huge scale. Is this part of the lesson? Love is such a tricky concept to Ricks over and over and a very selfish one.

“What’s your life without me?” And “You’re welcome by the way, I made you, I showed you infinity.” 

I mean this is just hurt all over, he’s both calling out Rick for how much he’s dedicated to the hunt, decades of his life chasing Prime and also another cry for reason I think. Because when they were together, it was likely so so good, they were limitless together. At least to Prime. He literally did make this outcome of Rick. Bombing Diane? Erasing all others? It was all to stop Rick from crawling back to this idealised holy grail of family life, and maybe also prove that Rick made the wrong choice, because without Prime, without the hunt, without portals and everything they did together, what’s left, and can he even return to it now?

“and this is what you do with it? Hang out with my grandson, raise echoes of my daughter.”

Because Prime knows how the Diane/family life story ends, he lived it, he knows how Rick felt, or at least he knows how he felt at least and those are the same thing to him. 

That noise Prime makes at the end, yeah he was laughing it all off because you know he’s not weak and sentimental right? Uh huh. All those Diane bots are just reminders of how he can’t let it go either. He erased her but still holds on to using her as a weapon because he knows it will hurt Rick, not giving mind to how much he’s still hurting himself over it all by not letting go. But that final sound and his pained flinching, he wasn’t laughing anymore, he was just hurting. I think he was hurting something fierce that entire scene, because he pushed Rick on this path, to force him to see what he did and still does, and yet again, for a second time. Rick rejects it.

This absolutely ruins me. Prime was probably hurting this whole time, because he was hurting Rick but by proxy, if they are the same. He was hurting himself. This is mildly shown in his moment of throwing slow mobius in the omega device. 

“Yeah this hurts me too.”

He didn’t go straight for the jugular and use a Beth or even Jerry which struck me as weird but I think it was to slowly prove a point to Rick, one by one as they disappear, because his intent was only Rick would make it through and then, alone together, he’d tear it all down until Rick finally learned the lesson, see his point of view, and if he still didn’t, which he seemed to think would be the case. He’d kill him.

Prime was willing to throw it all away to bring Rick back to him and to prove his point. Because that mattered to him like no other. Despite constantly grouping him as a lesser Rick previously everything post filter trap was personal. He ended up putting Rick through all that pain and torment as a wakeup call. Yet. In the end Rick didn’t and still rejects him, and rejects himself. This version of himself. What does it leave him with? 

Prime wasn’t afraid to die, and was laughing through it all, so I do wonder, is he that convinced he knows Rick, that he will somehow regret it, and maybe try to undo it? Is there something else at play? Or is this just a final knife in the gut to Rick, that he knows Rick will know he was right in the end when it’s too late. 

#prickcest #rick and morty #rick and morty spoilers #unmortricken #Hexed rambles #long post #rnm analysis #I don’t think anyone will read any of this but lmao it’s nice to compile the thoughts somewhere for future reference #writing essays out here as analysis fuck #also thanks again to trucknoisettes for asking me what prime's lesson was and sending me on this spiral <3

[thevalleyisjolly]

Something about Neverafter and consumption, devouring as an act of survival, defiance, fear.  Stepmother faced with the unbearable horror of her existence, ripping her teeth through every might-have-been and was-not and gorging herself on the endless, infinite glut of every story that forever binds her, a cosmic ouroborous.  The Baron of Bricks, who lived once and then ate, ate of industry and steel and arms and bricks, ate of Death itself, so that all that he fears, all that once made him feel small and inferior, he takes into himself and tells himself that now he lives, now he is stronger for it.  Candlewick, trapped in the nightmare of twisted childhood, turned to cannibalizing children just as the island has always done in its own way of sticky-sweet forbidden promise.  La Bête, taking apart every sinew and joint of her captor and this is no banquet but it is more than sustenance, it is victory, of a kind, to take what imprisons you and eat of it, to take its power over you unto yourself so that it cannot hurt you again.

(What they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t stop hurting in the first place)

((If consuming your misfortunes and devouring your prison is supposed to be a victory, the proof that you have taken the power over you and made it part of yourself, why have you never felt more cornered, more afraid, more desperate, more trapped?))

And then Ylfa.  An offer, by one who has eaten, will eat, will be eaten.  She takes what seems to have torn her life asunder, wolfed it down as it wolfed her Grandmother down, becomes the very thing that made her who she was, and lives.  Except.  Except there was an offer.  There was an offer and a choice, and maybe it was not the eating but the choice, willingly given, and a decision, willingly made. 

Eating, not as an act of survival but as an act of life.  Not gnawing away at the bones of your monsters until they can no longer hurt you, until you have proven your utter victory over the dust of their marrow, but digging into a proffered feast that may or may not have been meant for you but is nonetheless given to you so that you might eat and live.  Living not to consume, not to take what you please because it is there and you can and you need to or perhaps you just fear you will be the one devoured otherwise, but consuming as a part of life, taking your fill of what you need, of what is given to you for that very purpose, so that you may find yourself in the act.  Not just eating, but eating well.

All things are consumed in the end.  I love you.  I want us both to eat well.

#dimension 20 #neverafter #dimension 20 spoilers #neverafter spoilers #eating cw #cannibalism cw #like three quarters of this was written on a delirious high of about 12 hours of sleep across 5 days so #might be a little incoherent and purple prose-y

[warningsine]

A disclaimer: I have always gravitated towards unstable people. Maybe it's because I was bullied as a child. You see, when you get picked on, aren't athletic, and—I don't think I need to add this but will—aren't popular, you come up with ways to compensate. This is how a lot of people develop stunning personalities; I, unfortunately, opted instead to embrace unbridled chaos. My boyfriend promises me, completely voluntarily and without any prompting every single day, that he doesn't mind. (Wait, am I unstable?) And I think that’s why when I sat down to watch Showtime’s Yellowjackets, I felt an immediate kinship with both young and adult Misty (played by Samantha Hanratty and Christina Ricci, respectively). I love mess, almost as much as I love loyalty, and she's got both in spades.

For those not watching 2022’s first breakaway hit, Yellowjackets follows a group of female high school soccer players after their plane crashes in the wilderness on their trip to Nationals. Half the series is a flashback to the past, documenting the immediate trauma that comes with surviving a plane crash and being marooned. The other half of the timeline follows the adult lives of four survivors of the crash. At the core of both groups is Misty: a (fellow) weirdo who serves as the team’s equipment manager. She wasn’t liked in school, and she’s not particularly liked in her adult life. She’s tolerated in the woods, only because she’s a teenager who is strangely adept in the field of trauma medicine.

At the end of Episode Two, when Misty privately smashes the plane’s black box, thus extinguishing any hope that the team will be tracked down, a couple of colleagues told me: Misty is crazy! Misty is a nightmare! And I’ll be honest with you, because you’re reading this, and that makes us really close fucking friends… I don’t think they get it. Like, sure, I guess that Misty is the reason that this group got abandoned in the woods for months longer than they would have been otherwise, but... to quote Vanessa Hudgens from her Instagram Live from the beginning of the pandemic, "Yeah, people are going to die, which is terrible, but like inevitable?" If Misty didn't bust that box, then we wouldn't have a show, people. This is what we like to call, in the biz, a "net positive." And people like Misty? Those are the types who you want around. Smashing that black box was not a violent act. It was a favor (!) because all Misty wants to do is demonstrate how good of a friend she can be. And she needs time to do so.

In the immediate aftermath of the crash, she jumps into action. When the coach’s leg is smashed under a piece of the plane, she is the one brave enough to take an axe and amputate that dangler with one swift swing. She’s out here setting bones, cauterizing open wounds, and stitching faces back together. Sure, did she also later trip the coach with an amputated leg, making him fall to the ground? Yes, okay, that wasn't great. But maybe if he had really appreciated her from the jump, she wouldn’t have to reiterate how important her presence is. Did you think about that, y’all?

In our current timeline, as another mystery unfolds around the four surviving women, it’s Misty who remains one step ahead. When her friend Natalie (played by Juliette Lewis) needs a ride upstate to visit an old friend, Misty is happy to lend her her car and company. Yes, the reason Natalie needed the ride is because Misty ripped her battery wires out, but whomst among us? I ask. Whomst! When a fixer hired by Tai named "Jessica Roberts" was blackmailing the four survivors into admitting they partook in cannibalism out in the woods, do you know what Misty does? She kidnaps that woman, holds her hostage, and then laces a box of chocolates with fentanyl meant for the woman's ailing father... just to make sure she remains chill.

Now, I know that you’re thinking: I don’t know, Justin, sounds kind of intense. To that, I say 1) I love that we’re on a first name basis and 2) You say intense. I say loyal.

Can you imagine having a friend who, unprompted, would go so far? I once asked my best friend to pick me up from the airport and he laughed at me. I've known this guy for a decade. Do you know where Misty would be in that scenario? She’d be piloting the fucking plane, taxiing directly down the tarmac until we made it directly to the car she arranged to drive me home. And if anyone tried to exit before me, she'd cut their throat with that tiny knife on the thinking end of a wine key. Instead of this Misty judgment and skepticism, maybe we should be asking ourselves how we can be a friend more like her.

I’m not here to say she’s without fault. She keeps her fridge stocked with Coconut La Croix and has a parrot named Caligula, which is the name of a notable Roman emperor whose reign ended in unchecked tyranny and sexual deviancy. I’ve never trusted a bird owner, and much like God does with lukewarm Christians, I spit Coconut La Croix out of my mouth with disdain.

But look at me, already contradicting myself. I am focusing on Misty’s bad qualities as opposed to celebrating her for the loyal, eccentric individual she is. Yellowjackets has awakened something in me that I’ve needed to stir for a long time. How far would I go for my friends? Would I figure out how to, like, find fentanyl and/or steal prescriptions from my workplace? If the answer to that is “no”—and just so we're clear, it is—then it’s me who needs to take a long look in the mirror.

#yellowjackets #misty quigley #he had me at the title :'D #not only this is as hilarious as that piece about jeff #but holy fuck i jokingly said some of this stuff to a friend who watches the show. like verbatim.

[atlasscrumpit]

ooh ooh i love love LOVW your yandere mk they are soo good and i just binge read them all

so i have a requests where maybe the reader is like the winter soldier bc i can see reader misbehaving or some shit and them just fucking taking her arm away until she earns it back

but what about the sad parts, like she was with hydra and she was forced to kill peole

idk feel free to ignore

Something missing

Hope you like it!

You sat on the floor in your room, one arm wrapped around your knees.

The other arm was in the next room.

You knew better than to cry, crying meant weakness and you weren't weak.

You wanted to cry, you wanted to cry and curl up in bed, but that would show weakness.

The door opened and you instantly stood up, ready for a mission, then you realised.

"Love, it's okay. You don't have to do that with us remember?" He said as you sighed and nodded, relaxing a little.

"Sorry." You whispered as he smiled and came closer.

"I know it's uncomfortable without your arm love, but that was one of the rules. That if you misbehave we have to take it away." He said as you looked away from him.

"What would you do if I took Marc and Jake away from you?" You muttered as he looked at you in confusion.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked as you glared at him.

"You need them to survive, just like I need a fucking arm!" You screamed at him making him flinch.

"N-Now, love. You don't need to result to violence. Let's just talk about this." He said as you rushed passed him, pushing him out of the way.

You a rely had a second before strong arms wrapped around you.

You couldn't really fight with one arm.

"We told you the rules and the punishments, Y/N. Don't act like we are the bad guys here." Marc said as you struggled in his grip.

"Enough!" He shouted making you gasp in fear, you froze, your brain automatically ready to obey.

It was pathetic that it only took one word.

"I'm sorry, sir." You whispered as Marc closed his eyes and sighed, loosening his grip.

"Darling, it's okay. I'm not one of them, it's Marc, remember?" He said gently turning you around, he could see the fear in your eyes.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I just don't want you to do anything you regret." He whispered, reaching forward to hold your face.

"Please don't punish me." You whispered, slowly looking up at him.

"It's okay, love. You took your punishment, you were good for us. Come on, your punishment is over." He said, pulling you along. He got you to sit on the couch before he grabbed the bionic arm he'd taken from you.

"Sit still, okay?" He said as he lines the arm up to the matching connection on your shoulder.

He did was was necessary and you wiggled your fingers a little.

"You're punishments aren't that bad." You whispered as he looked up at you.

"What do you mean, love?" He asked, resting his hand on your knee.

"Taking my arm away isn't that bad, not as bad as the others. They would...hurt me, a lot. At least you don't hurt me." You whispered not looking at him, he stood up and sat beside you on the couch.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby. I'm just trying my best to help you understand the rules and that you can't hurt us or try and escape. It's not because you're dangerous or I want to punish you, it's so I know I can keep you safe. I'm terrified every second that they'll find you." Marc said as you felt tears in your eyes.

You'd never seem Marc show much vulnerability.

"You like having me here?" You whispered as he smiled and kissed the side of your head.

"Of course we do, angel. You're the best thing to happen to us, you will never ever be a burden on us." He said making you smile softly.

"Can you...can you promise that you'll protect me?" You whispered resting your head on his chest.

All of them felt like their hearts would melt, it had taken a while for you to trust them, but this was definitely a good start.

"I promise from the bottom of my heart that we will do everything in our power to protect you." He whispered back, wrapping his arms around you.

"They'll never have you again."

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #marvel #mcu #Yandere #Yandere marvel #Yandere moon knight #yandere moon knight x reader #Marc Spector x reader #Steven Grant x reader

[sweetmage]

Got obsessed with a new NPC, yippee!!🎉 Unfortunately he dies 😭

Anyway, here is a little bit of Niall and my new warden Valentin saying their final goodbye in the fade 🥲 

Words: 836

Series: Dragon Age Origins

Ship: M!Surana/Niall

Tags: Character death, belated confessions, final goodbyes

Reality crashed upon Val like a wave, sudden and suffocating. The Litany... all Niall could speak of was the Litany, as though he had not just admitted to giving everything with the casualness of a passing comment. 

'His body...'

Val shook his head slowly as though denial might displace the truth. "But there must be some way. Wynne is with us, she's a healer, she—"

Niall stopped him with a wan smile. "This isn't something any mage can undo. I have... minutes, maybe. Maybe less. Promise me you'll take the Litany."

"Of course, but—" His tone rose, words tumbling upon words in a rush to make sense of it all. "There must be something. There's always something. What about—?"

"Val," Niall spoke, quiet as a sigh. "Don't do this. It won't help you, it won't save me. I was never meant to save the circle or survive its troubles. I am dying. It is as simple as that."

"Then what do I do?" Val demanded, hands clenching uselessly at his side. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Fine. Just like you always do." His words were tinted with a morose fondness and his eyes lingered upon him like he wished to take his image with him to the Maker's side.

"I thought... I had hoped I'd bring you with me. Then you'd be free of all of this."

"I always thought it would be me that would take you from all of this. A foolish thought now, but... I wanted to. I had forgotten what it was like to hope. I saw no future for myself, I didn't really care if I lived or died. I would just keep going until I couldn't. But I wanted better for you. I thought when I was an enchanter I could raise my voice for the Isolationists, that maybe I could make a change. That you might be safer, might be happier, you wouldn't need to run away anymore."

Val's eyes fell upon Niall's form, pale and ethereal and flickering like a candle nearing the end of it's wick. "You would have done great things. You deserved better than this."

"I got what I wanted in the end. No thanks to me, but... I am happy to know you'll be alright. Even if I can't be there to see it with you. In the end, haven't we both escaped the Circle in some way? My only regret is that I could not save it. Perhaps trying to play hero was a foolish act. But if there is anyone who can, it's you."

"You weren't playing hero, Niall." Val took a step closer to him, wishing to reach out and take him in his arms the way he'd always wanted. "I would never have made it from this place were you not here."

"We both know that's not true." Niall closed the distance between them, taking Val's hand in his own and pressing it against his cheek. There was no warmth or substance, all that remained was the memory of him. "I would have liked to have loved you," he said quietly. "Just once. When we weren't trapped in a cage, but I'm glad to have known you. It was a privilege. You will be alright, Valentin, you have fought worse and come out alive."

He could resist no longer, taking Niall into his arms and embracing him in a way the templars never would have allowed. "I love you," he murmured against his hair. "Do not die believing you've done nothing for me, for the circle."

"If it's you saying it, perhaps there is some truth. Before I was taken to the Circle, my mother always said that I was meant for greatness. I hope I haven't disappointed her..."

"She'd be proud," Val assured him, "you've done well." 

"If you see her by some chance, do tell her that I tried my best. But," he grew suddenly seriously, leaning back the embrace while his hands still rested upon his shoulders. "You must make it out of here alive. Do not forget the Litany, you will need it to stand any chance against the blood mages. And..." Another look, long and longing. Even among the troubled tides beneath his features, he'd never looked so at ease. "It is time for us both to be on our way. Be strong, Val."

"I... I will try. Should we meet again, it will not be today. You will not have gone in vain. Go easy into the beyond, you've nothing to wor—"

His words all but sent him on his way. Niall faded in an instant, passing on from this world and to the next.

"May your soul know peace," Val spoke to the air where Niall had been, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle so that the feeling of Niall's embrace would not leave him just yet. "And may your ashes know rest."

#character death tw #dragon age origins #dao #male surana #niall dao #jun fics

[allforminyard]

andreil x francesca lyrics parallels

so hozier just released a new song (although i think he’s played it live before) and the lyrics immediately screamed andreil to me so i decided to put the parallels in a post (and who knows maybe later a fic)

i hope you’re ready for an essay bc here it goes

do you think I'd give up

that this might've shook the love from me

or that I was on the brink

how could you think darling I'd scare so easily?

from the start neil and andrew exchange truths to size each other up and confirm that the other will not be a threat. they know they could most definitely be a problem from the moment they meet in arizona. neither of them can be sure of the other’s intentions without these exchanges, the willing surrender of information that eventually leads to deals and trust, trust that the other will step in and hold them up if necessary. on thanksgiving neil is the first to notice andrew’s absence and the first to act to protect him, going as far as to stashing his knives and promising to look out for kevin, not backing away from the ugliest of andrew’s past entering the present. in baltimore andrew barely lets him go from his protection (at neil’s request) and is the only one that notices that neil says goodbye, can see it so clearly in his face. he knows something’s wrong but can’t do anything about it and then neil is gone gone gone and comes back to them broken. andrew says “you are at one hundred (percent)” and “you aren’t going anywhere”, a promise to stand his ground beside him no matter what. they’re not scared after seeing the worst parts of their trauma, they won’t back away so easily.

now that it's done

there's not one thing that I would change

my life was a storm

since I was born

how could I fear any hurricane?

andrew and neil both had their share of trauma throughout their lives. what with being put in the system as a newborn, growing up in all those shitty read abusive foster homes, going to juvie to protect his new found twin brother from his latest abuser, and being put on medication that fucked up his physical and psychological wellbeing for the sake of being more palatable to others is a lot to say the least. not to mention a lifetime on the run from an abusive parent, multiple run ins and near death experiences with said parent’s gang, and the callous upbringing from another parent whose one goal was survival above all, to the point of having to bury that parent and try to get a semblance of a life together when all he ever knew was gone in an instant. their lives were storms from the moment they were born. how could they look away from the other’s trauma when they knew they could weather that and more?

for all that was said

of where we'd end up at the end of it

when the heart would cease

ours never knew peace

what good would it be on the far side of things?

no one ever bet on andrew or neil fully until wymack recruited them for the foxes. neil was taught to run no matter what because being caught was not an option. andrew had to learn to fight for every piece and parcel he could get before it was all eventually ripped away from him anyway. no one thought they would ever amount to anything and fuck if they wouldn’t die trying to not fall into what was meant to be their destiny. what else was neil supposed to be if not his father’s embarrassment that had to be sold to the mafia just so he didn’t cause any more trouble? what else was andrew supposed to be if not a cast off neglected child who would be forced to turn to drugs, violence or worse? they couldn’t turn into what was expected of them so they never stopped, always running, always fighting, always surviving. it’s in each other that they finally knew they could stay.

but it was too soon

when that part of you was ripped away

a grip taking hold

like a cancer that grows

each piece of your body that it takes

they both hit rock bottom and almost surrender. neil says “I'm tired of being nothing," and “Neil had seen this look on Andrew's face once before. the darkness in Andrew's stare … was perfect understanding. Andrew had hit this point years ago and broken. Neil was hanging on by a fraying thread and grabbing at anything he could to stay afloat.” andrew is forced to take back control however he can, starting with his body and later by getting himself sent away to juvie. he reaches the point where he has to give and receive explicit consent for physical touch, in response to what was taken from him so many times before. time and time again neil is offered a future so bright he can hardly believe it can be his. the more the year goes on the more he refuses to let himself hope, knows he’s as good as dead the moment he decides to stand up to riko and he finds out the truth. if it weren’t for andrew, neil would’ve run away and who knows what would’ve happened then. neil says “it's not the world that's cruel, it's the people in it,” and both of them know all too well just how many parts were ripped away from them in their struggle to survive.

if someone asked me at the end / though I know my heart would break

I'll tell them put me back in it

darling, I would do it again

if I could hold you for a minute

darling, I'd go through it again

we know andrew and neil are fighters through and through. andrew keeps his family in place by promising the only thing he thinks might be beneficial for them: protection. neil stays at palmetto even though he knows he should run before his past catches up to him. in the raven king neil says “he was their family. they were his. they were worth every cut and bruise and scream.” and in the king’s men, the first time andrew takes him to the roof after easthaven, neil confesses to spending christmas at evermore because “I had to try. if I had the chance to stop it but did nothing, how could I face you again? how could I live with myself?” they go to impossible lengths to protect each other, even if the other doesn’t ask for it, and neither regrets it, no matter if “Neil could tell himself all day long what the smart thing to do was, but if he really cared that much about what was smart he wouldn't have come here in the first place.”

I would still be surprised I could find you, darling

in any life

if I could hold you for a minute

darling, I would do it again

i don’t think this is explicitly mentioned in the books, but i think it’s something the fandom has accepted unanimously. andrew and neil are soulmates. they see each other for what they are and accept each other no matter what. they understand each other in a way no one has ever tried to before. neither of them thought they were ever gonna connect with someone they way they do. it was a surprise to have the love be requited and it made it all the better.

I would not change it each time

heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I

this final incantation is what truly sold the parallels for me. even after repeatedly trying to follow his mother’s dying wishes, neil can’t make himself put an end to his and andrew’s dynamic and in the end he doesn’t regret any of it. he says “thank you.” He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing.” and “he'd hit the end of his rope before he wanted to and he hadn't accomplished everything he'd hoped to this year, but he'd done more with his life than he'd ever thought possible. That had to be enough.” it is also repeatedly said that “andrew regretted nothing”, meaning every word and action he exchanged with neil was intentional and true. and for all their unconventional methods, at the end of the day neil and andrew care deeply for each other (read the whole fucking essay before this) and know and trust the other like no one else ever has. i think the perfect example of this is after their first kiss when andrew says “this isn't yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't … I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be." Neil opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. "The next time one of them says you're soulless I might have to fight them.” their love is something that only they understand, and maybe even heaven would not be fit for it.

#neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #hozier #lyrics #lyric parallels #listen i know this is for an incredibly niche audience but i wrote this full ass essay today and i wanted to share #writing this broke me and i’m probably gonna start this year’s first reread tonight #when i say andreil ruined romance for me i truly mean it #anyway if anyone wants to take this and write a fic pls feel free just give credit <3 <3 <3 #this is my contribution to the fandom this year probably ajwjrjdkw #long post #my post