#i promise i wont get all political

[hazelfoureyes]

A Doe in Fall (part 4)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much

Part 4 Enough

Alastor struggled with the prior expectations others had of him, but you eased them away with gentle hands. And to your great comfort, Tommy’s absence is noticed but not entirely shocking to anyone. With that concern behind him, finally, Alastor gives in to his own selfish wants and asks for your help with his “work.”

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, No smut! No pussy eating! No fingering! It took away from the important events and Alastor’s mental health (I know he’s not real but he’s KINDA REAL?) so I didn’t include it. Next time! , Murder, dead bodies, allusions to bad things by bad men, Alastor has had bad times and will have bad times, bad kind of choking, domestic shit, Detective Brady, Obvious Sin」

You let Alastor start the shower, remembering people often complaining you turned it too hot. Stepping into the tub and drawing the curtain around, you told him to face the water so you could clean his back. It wasn’t dirty, you just wanted an excuse to touch and stare.

A moment of silence, you were a little scared to speak but had a question burning a hole in your pocket, “Do you like sex?” You ran the bar of soap down his back, no wash cloth in sight.

“It’s … pleasurable.”

Your mouth twisted, “I thought maybe…it didn’t work.”

He laughed, “You wouldn’t be the first. Works fine. I just don’t care to use it much. I don’t-“ a pause, he considered how to say it as he had never said it out loud before, “I don’t see the appeal, typically. There’s better ways to enjoy my time and chase pleasures than sweating over a stranger,” The word stranger floated in the air around you. Alastor felt the need to push it away, dispel it as quickly as he could, “Dancing is basically the same thing, which seems to be the issue with current society.”

“I can respect that. Well, I’m relieved you aren’t dependent on murder for an erection because I don’t think I can hide that many bodies.” A chuckle from him, but you grimaced. Not now, don’t joke now. Stop hiding from the uncomfortable vulnerability of blunt honesty. You were glad he couldn’t see your face, resting your head between his shoulder blades as you lazily washed his lower back and down, “Don’t push yourself. I know I’ve been-,”

“Affectionate?”

“Aggressive.” You winced, “your word is better. Just, I wont… I can't enjoy something you don’t want.” Your traced circles onto his skin, “I can't get my rocks off to someone’s bad time.” A smile you couldn’t see, small and warm. “I hope it’s obvious I won’t go anywhere.”

He laughed louder, offending you a little.

“Sorry, it’s just— yes that’s been made clear. I quite literally told you to stop following me and somehow here we are.” He looked over his shoulder at you and gestured for the soap. You shook your head no.

“Turn around.”

He paused.

“Not— not like that. Unless you want me to?” You would drop to your knees so fast you would damage the tub if he said yes.

“I’m good dear, thank you.”

The tub was safe.

You took your time, covering his chest in suds, his arms, his sides. You did get on your knees after all to wash his feet, his calves, his thighs. You stopped short of going any higher.

He looked down right bashful. It was so cute you wanted to shove your face into his crotch and scream. 

Alastor wasn’t used to people handling him. Not outside of uncomfortable situations. The order of events typically went as follows:

Date makes a move. Alastor politely redirects. Date gets annoyed because it’s not the first time he’s done this. Alastor offers other ways to please them, be it his hands or his mouth. They either get sad (‘You think I’m repulsive, don’t you?!’) or angry (‘What kind of man are you?’). 

If he didn’t find them worth the effort, he would simply end the date then and there. But if he liked them enough, enjoyed their company enough, needed them for some purpose enough, he would acquiesce. They would touch him, and he would react like the touch-me-not plant he used to harass as a child, moving without thought from the stimulation. And he’d think about more engaging things until he got them to  finish or he could say he did. 

And it would buy a little more time with good enough affection and good enough company and good enough reasons. 

Good enough. ‘Enough’ was right there in the phrase. 

And then it would repeat until someone gave up.

When he didn’t move or reply as your hands sat where his thighs met his hips, lost in some train of thought, you left it be and stood. Lathering your hands, “One spot left!”

He suddenly looked so tired, eyebrows rising as if to ask you ‘what’s that?’ yet the dullness of his eyes indicated he wasn’t actually asking. 

But like a fall from a mildly scary height into the sea, thrilling but safe, he tensed as your hands moved. When you began to wash his face, he hit the water feet first.  His shoulders noticeably relaxed, and you thought you saw his chin shake a little, but you let it go to rub circles on his cheeks. You got behind his ears and under his chin. You tried to make a mustache but the soap didn’t lather well enough for that.

“You’re not missing out. I don't look good in facial hair.” He said, and you believed it. 

You handed him the soap and let him finish cleaning himself, trying to steal looks without being too obvious. Making a mental note to yourself for every piece of him to compliment later when he was more comfortable.

It tickled when he washed you, those soft fingers making bubbles across your skin. The steam was dampening his hair. Ah, you just noticed he wasn’t wearing glasses.

“Can you see? Without the glasses?” He was down now, cleaning your already clean legs.

“Ah, well, no.”

You held up 7 fingers.

He squinted then made his eyes wide, “Hmm…. Two hands.” You pushed him down with your foot to his chest, him catching himself with his arm. “At least I didn’t say three, dear.” 

You play kicked, “Unfunny!”

When he laughed now he looked boyish. His laughter bright as a bell. It was so jarring that it made your subconscious remind you of the dead man lying in the other room. The juxtaposition impossible to ignore.

Alastor noticed the shift in the air, getting up and setting the soap down on the lip of the tub. His hands rubbed your cheeks, your chin, your nose.

“You can leave after you’re all cleaned and dressed.” He was looking at your nose as he spoke.

“I can do anything I damn well want.” Your eyes skirted around his face before making him meet your gaze, “Atleast to the car. Okay?” Suddenly insecure about how aggressive you were, “Please.” 

Alastor nodded, could he see your smile? You could see his.

It was unspoken, and somehow equally shocking as the night you grabbed a dead man by the legs, that you dressed each other. Domestic was the only word for it and it was downright frightening for you.

But your body didn’t stop, some magnets in your fingertips drawn to the buttons of his shirt, to the collar you adjusted, to his glasses that you rested on the bridge of his nose.

Alastor hadn’t any idea what he was doing, perhaps his mother had told him to do this and he had long forgotten it. Maybe he saw it in a movie. Or read it in a book. But gingerly, as you sat on a side of the bed away from Tommy, he knelt and rolled up your stockings, watching as you clipped them to the garter belt. He slipped on your shoes and took your hand to help you stand. As you put on your dress his hands took the buttons at the bottom and yours took the top, meeting in the center. His newly clean fingers straightened out the wrinkles.

He avoided looking you in the eyes, something heavy in the space between you two telling him the air might catch fire if he did. He didn’t know what that meant, and he had done enough new things for one evening. 

“Can I ask you something?” He took the twine that tied the clothes together and began looping it through eyelets in the canvas.

“Of course.” He could ask you anything, if you answered was still up in the air.

“Why did you work for a man like that?” Continuing to avoid your face, he busied himself with drawing the sides and corners of the canvas up like a giant sachet.

A good question. One you would think he’d have asked before the murder. “He wasn’t like that before. This whole… thing was a recent shift. I know it was gambling but I think he was getting into some hard drugs too. His behavior had just gotten erratic.”

He tied the twine tightly, “It seemed impulse control was an issue for him, given his brief conversation with me. This-,” he pointed at you, suddenly full of passion again, “This is what I meant. I don’t talk to men for long. What a terrible conversation that was.” You fought back a smile. “Was he bragging? You wouldn’t believe the number of men— well I suppose yes you would.” He pushed up his sleeves and held them in place with arm bands, “If that is the typical sexual tendencies of men then I’m glad to see I evolved past it.” Alastor was spewing a stream of consciousness that even you could tell was out of character. 

Or perhaps, “I have a feeling you’d be saying all this if I were here or not.” You stared down at the canvas bundle.

That smile again, “Normally it’s under my breath but— they don’t seem to mind!” He gave the bundle a tug, checking for the sturdiness of the twine.“So, usually I do this closer to the car…” 

It was unladylike and you loved it, legs open wide as you lifted your half of the bloody package. You lumbered down the tight stairwell as he went backwards, insisting it was the gentlemanly thing to do. There was a moment you were alone at the bottom of the stairs as Alastor brought the car around. You gave the body a little kick, “Why’d you have to go and be such an ass?” Mumbled under your breath like a professional.

As you both stood there, trunk full of Tommy between you, you were unaware of what little wildfires you’d set off in the other.

Alastor felt his stomach flipping, an impulse to grab your face with both hands and kiss you making his fingers tap the roof of the car. He was worried if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop. An issue he had never had before, but it still felt like an issue nonetheless. It was, wasn’t it? An issue?

Something in you felt like the good wife in the doorway, waving your darling off to work in the morning. Wanting to plant a kiss on his cheek and straighten his bow tie. If you’d seen a neighbor do it you’d roll your eyes and fake a gag, but you wanted to give it to him. You wanted to give him consistent adoration he could rely on and that was the only example you could think of. A nervous hand considered clawing the feeling out of your chest entirely.

You both decided to play it cool,  Alastor dialling back the urge and planting a single kiss to your nose. You hummed, “If anyone asks…”

“You saw Tommy take the cash and leave.” Alastor said quickly, so confident you could believe maybe you had.

You nodded. Biting your bottom lip you stopped the urge to offer more help. Trust needed to exist that he’d ask for it if he wanted to. 

Maybe your face was losing its skill, mask dissolving under the events of the night, because a grin spread across his face, “Baby steps.”

Always scared of letting him slip through your fingers, you tried to hide how badly you needed another date to look forward to. Pursing your lips, “Speaking of, we’ve checked off public acts of indecency, a dance hall romp, and now some gentle sex near a formerly living man. Would you like to get coffee this week?”

“In the daytime?” False incredulity

“Fully clothed.” You added.

If he hadn’t stifled his laughter, it could have been dangerous, “Scandalous.” A small panic, he hadn’t actually agreed yet. An unfamiliar feeling of insecurity came down on you like a mistimed curtain fall. 

“I’ll need a few days…Saturday, at ten, the little cafe at the west entrance of our favorite park?”

Our. Your knees buckled a little. 

“Sounds positively deviant. I’ll be there with bells on.” Why was your heart pounding now. Why now?

“It’s a date then.” A kiss to your cheek, he tensed, holding back. “Can I drive you home?,” it was spoken into your skin. His lips not leaving your face. 

“I have to go back in. Tell everyone how much of an ass Tommy is for leaving me all alone with that wealthy bore.” Your cheek leaned into his kiss. His lips dragged across your skin to find your mouth, still open.

He exhaled, shakey and slow. Your eyes saw something new; dilated pupils staring down at you. A heat was pooling in your lap again, never so receptive to a pair of eyes before.

“Should I come back?” He knew he shouldn’t.

Luckily so did you. “You know I’m not far from here. Just get home, or wherever you're going, safely.” He finally let his mouth capture yours, his hands roaming the soft fabric of your dress. Red, smooth, warm. You broke away, pulling from some well of strength you didn’t know you had, “If the girls see— there’s no motive quite like a jealous man.”

That grin erupted, beaming a toothy smile that warmed you to your core, “Endlessly fascinating.” His fingers lingered on you until they were pulled away by the limits of his reach, him backing up to the car door, “Be safe. Good night.”

Your legs crossed one in front of the other, had a man ever considered your safety enough to say it out loud? Without adding some patronizing addition like “little lady” or “pretty thing” to it that felt more like an admission of intent? “Good night.”

Alastor rode home in silence, sometimes so lost in thought he would snap back to reality and realize he had no idea how long he had been driving. It would take a second but he would confirm he was still on the right path. 

It was too soon to bring you to his home. He knew that was a logical statement. However, every other part of him wanted to carry you over his shoulder into his house and show you around, excited to hear your responses to the details of his safe harbor. He could cook for you. You two could push the sofa back and dance in the sitting room. The back porch was lovely for early morning reading.

An incorporeal pain tore through his stomach. 

Hands gripping the steering wheel, bright eyes popping up from the tall grass as he rumbled past. 

He was getting ahead of himself again. All of the idioms he was taught were going up in flames. 

‘Don’t put the cart before the horse.’

Unfortunately he had guilded the cart as well, so weighted with the gold of his hopes he was worried the axis would snap.

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.’ 

He had saddled you with an entire coop of his joy. Unfair and unwise.

‘Pearls before swine’

He was, like many men, reduced to a greedy mouthed animal at your feet, incapable of appreciating your attention as it should be. But he didn’t want you to stop. Perhaps a pig could learn?

So much for evolved. 

As he pulled into the dirt driveway of what was his father’s home, then his mother’s home, now his own, he wondered what your first thoughts would be. Would you like it? Were you expecting something grander? Something shiny and new? 

When he was backed up to the greenhouse he rested his head against the steering wheel. 

The smell of the soap was heating up with his thoughts, remembering your hands. You smelled the same now tonight, the same soap. What an intimate thing to share. Could he ever hope to share such things with someone, or was it foolish to spend time thinking about it? 

Alastor would give nearly anything to share a set of plates with someone gentle, to have a set of hand towels in the bathroom for himself and someone patient, to warm two mugs in the morning with coffee for himself and someone understanding.

A secret little dream he threw away shortly after entering adulthood. Which was fine for him. If having those niceties meant having to fake that a part of himself mattered more than it did, he didn’t want them. Not that much. He was already putting on a show outside, he couldn’t bring the audience into his home. His mother’s home. 

As he grappled with Tommy’s impromptu shroud, he considered his outward image. 

He was proud of it. He chose to have it, it was a tool that got him far in life and elevated his status. No qualms. Just, when you expect to do something all of your life alone, it’s foundation shaking to learn perhaps you didn’t have to.

He had convinced himself he preferred to be alone. But now it seemed maybe he had been lying to himself. At some point he confused accepting a situation with preferring it. 

He stared down at Tommy’s pale face, clothes dirty and body stiffening on the metal work station of the greenhouse. He probably would never have learned about Tommy if not for you. No rumors or whispers or warnings about a theater manager abusing the artists in his employ were floating around.

Again, he felt his chest tightening. It didn’t matter if he had had the man already in his sights or not. He would have killed him. Alastor ran his hands through his hair. Would you have stopped him, would he have let you, if you swore Tommy didn’t deserve to die?

No. A silly rhetorical. Had you begged on your knees with tear stained eyes he’d have kissed your cheeks and said whatever you asked to hear. And then he would wait for Tommy to be alone in a dark place like he did the others. And he would avoid looking you in the eye for as long as he had to, until you forgot about the former employer.

With a single and soft clap of his hands he shut his mind off and went about his work. Now wasn't the time for questions and what-ifs. He needed to make Tommy disappear as soon as possible. He didn’t usually kill so close together in time. A brief thought slipped through the cracks of his walls, This would be easier with help. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

No one noticed Tommy was missing until the following night. But given he’d gotten a considerable payday Monday the staff just assumed he was off snorting his profits. 

It wasn’t until Wednesday morning did police come by, Tommy’s mother having called in a missing person’s report.

You heard the girls speaking to the detective outside the dressing room before rehearsals. 

“This is typical Tommy.”

“He’s been dabbling into some heavy stuff.”

“You didn’t hear it from me, but! I heard he got,” you couldn’t see what she was doing, “ya know?”

When the detective looked into the dressing room and asked who he hadn’t spoken with, your eyes met in the mirror, recognition painting his face. 

“Detective Brady! The assistant manager can talk now.” Someone called from down the hall. You continued covering your bruises, hoping he hadn’t noticed them. With a pat to the door frame, metal ring clinking, he left.

He didn’t have time to speak with all of you before it was doors open and left before the show began. As soon as you got home you fished around in your key bowl for the crinkled card.

You dropped it back in, hands coming to your face. Of course. Why would it be any other man?

Deep breathes. It isn’t strange he ran into you before, you worked and lived in the area. He probably handed that card to every woman he passed at night. 

Slow breathes. The girls did the legwork, just follow suit. You were a single woman. No one would suspect you of anything unless they found a smoking gun under your pillow. Even then, if you could bat your eyelashes enough and find a  dainty enough cross necklace you could beat any rap. 

All you wanted now was to see Alastor and tell him. Three more days.

Surprisingly, the theater ran perfectly smoothly without Tommy. James, the assistant, stepped up and everything carried on as usual. The detective didn’t come back, either. Rumor in the dressing room was that Tommy had been an open-and-close case of bad decisions leading to bad outcomes.

There was a sadness at the theater regardless, no one having heard any news. He had wandered off before but he always returned in time for the big weekend shows. But Friday night came and went and Tommy never showed. Which for you was expected, but the other staff seemed worried. The girls, not so much. 

You weren’t as scared as you had thought you’d be. For yourself, atleast. You would rather die than let Alastor be found out because of you. Maybe he would have advice to ease you. Even if he didn’t, you’d be comforted getting him up to speed.

Knowing you’d see Alastor soon was like knowing when the next big rain was coming. You spent all week planning your time around it. 

Except for the small detail that you hadn’t actually known where the west entrance was to the park, or even that the gates had names. But you found it easily enough. As you approached you could see him waiting, a blue suit without the jacket, was there a color he wouldn’t look charming in? 

No. Silly questions seemed to be in the air lately.

You slowed as you approached, him hearing the click of your shoes and turning before you could gather your thoughts. This was the first time to see him in the daylight. 

His mouth was moving but you didn’t hear anything, brain short circuiting. His hair looked so much brighter in the sunlight, sun passing through brown locks. You could see his eyes looking at you, brows rising as he questioned something, but your thoughts were arrested by the color of the gaze you’d spent weeks trying to get into the focus of; a bright honey brown that seemed to shimmer. A little pop of light bounced off a button of his vest, his smile gleamed as he leaned towards you.

Run. You had no business here. A possibly soon-to-be criminalized dancer and him. You should have worn a better dress. Should have gotten your hair done. Should have better.

Alastor couldn’t figure out what your face was saying. He was proficient in reading the expressions of others, in discerning the changes in the air of any given room, but this… he couldn’t place. Your eyes were wide, smile taut and flat as you took a step backward. His hand reached out to stabilize you, your heel catching on the uneven pavement of the lesser cared for wards of the city.

“What’s wrong?” His smile softened. 

You spoke without thinking, something you never did, “You’re too beautiful. I should go.” Your attempt to turn away only half in jest. His bright laugh rang out, melting the muscles of your legs. 

“That’s a new one.” His fingers lingered on your arm, “You can pick a seat, I’ll grab coffee. No staff on the patio.”

Considering fleeing still, you thought about how sad he would be standing there with two coffees in his hands. The weather was quickly cooling, but in the early sun the outdoor seating was perfect for a coffee date. 

Shaking off the nerves, you tried to get a fucking grip. You adored your physical form, you had no issues thinking you deserved whatever you wanted to have. But, well, it was like he was glowing from the inside out. Even his skin seemed to catch the light. There was that quick heart beat again. You looked through the glass front, Alastor in line. If you had gone through with the plan to rob him, and had he returned in the daylight to argue with you… you’d have just handed back his wallet and maybe even your own. 

The least attractive thing about him was his money, strange considering it was normally the most important thing a man had in his pocket for you. 

Did he know? That you had been-

“Autumn, was it?”

You heard something in your neck pop as your head spun toward the voice. The color left your face, you stood so quickly you almost knocked the chair over.

“Detective! What a blessing!” Your hands were trembling as you reached out for one of his with both of yours, “You’ve been on my mind lately.”

The detective, tall and lean, eyes a striking cool blue and hair the color of wheat, removed his hat. “Oh?”

“Yes. I never got a chance to thank you for saving me last week. That man was just not taking no for an answer.” You took several steps to the left, making his back turn towards the cafe doors. 

“I thought maybe you’d been cross with me. You ran off like-.”

“I was just nervous. I didn’t know if you were for real or just another trickster trying to get a lady alone.” You stared at his eyes, trying to keep him focused on you. 

“Ah, well, you had good reason to be. Lucky coincidence seeing you here.” He set his hat under his arm, “I was just headed to your manager’s mother’s home.”

Your eyes flitted to the counter, back to Brady. “Oh? Is…is it bad news, sir?” 

“Not a trace of the man. But, that isn’t uncommon down here I suppose.” The detective sat down at the table you’d been at….you stayed standing. He motioned for you to take a seat, “That being said, I don’t think Tommy just wandered off with some cash.”

Were you wearing your perspiration pads under your dress? You think you were. If not, maybe you could just spill water on yourself and say it was a stain. Stiff, you took a seat. 

“I was hoping to interview the rest of you ladies. I was going to stop by tomorrow but, if you have a moment, what can you tell me about him?” His eyes looked like ice, their effect similar as a chill ran down your spine. 

“Well, oh geez… I don’t want to speak ill of anyone, ever.” Your hard learned skills were coming back to you. Your hands came together to shyly fidget with each other. 

“Consider it a help to the police, no worries ma’am.”

“Miss.” You corrected, that practiced smile small and chaste, “I’m not married, sir. As you can imagine, in my profession, it is very hard to come by good, honest men.”

A chuckle, he put his hat down on the table. Fuck. Fuck! 

“But, uh, yes. I can tell you quite a bit. Tommy was a fine man. For awhile. He was very respectful to us. A clean and tight ship.” You saw the door open behind him, Alastor using his back as his hands were full. “But, the last three months or so, he started getting mean.” You leaned forward, putting your left hand on Brady’s that rested on his hat. Your right hand slipped to the side and under the table, waving frantically to Alastor to turn back around.

Without question he swiveled on his heels, sitting down at another empty table near the cafe doors with his back to you.

You gripped his hand and the hat with one motion, and set it back on his head, “If he saw me talking to a flat foot…it could be a lot of trouble. Maybe we should speak privately.”

Why were you incapable of finding a balance between honey and venom? Your words came out too sweet, voice dipping into the tone you reserved for marks.

“Ah, well…Miss Autumn-,” Brady shifted in his seat.

You stood up, slapping his shoulder, “I meant the theater! Sir!”

He flustered, shaking his head and standing too, “I didn’t say anything!” His nervous laughter eased you, walking further from the table so he would follow. “Well, I’ll be by tomorrow. Maybe we can finish this conversation.“

A nod, not at all intending to tell him you didn’t work Sundays, “That sounds good. Anything I can do to help. But really, I expect Tommy will show up as soon as the cash runs dry.”

With a tip of the hat, he walked off to bring bad news somewhere else. 

You waited a moment before moving to the seat across Alastor. You thought your bones had turned to jelly, “Thanks for the rerouting. Was I obviously rattled?” You were mortified.

“No, not at all!” Alastor set the cup in front of you. “A former beau?”

You shook your head, “Worse. Detective Brady back there came by the theater this week, but didn’t have time to speak to me. Just so happened to see me now on his way to Tommy’s mom. Actually, that was something I wanted to tell you. I’ve met him before.”

His brows rose, blowing slightly on the coffee, “Oh? A patron of your theater?”

“No. That night with Legs. He stopped me a quite a few blocks before I found you. Gave me his card and a warning about missing people and something about little ladies being out at night.”

Alastor nodded, unphazed.

“Should I be worried? Because I’m worried.” You couldn’t even touch your drink, stomach in knots. He smiled, breaking the spell Brady had cast over you.

“Without a body there is no proof anyone is dead. That’s all that matters.” Alastor was cocky, leaning back in his chair with a far too relaxed demeanor.

You hadn’t realized your shoulders were so tight, “Sorry for shooing you away. I just got so scared! If he knows I,” You caught yourself, face going red as you corrected, “thought I had a guy, it could put you under a spotlight.”

His hand came over and gently rubbed your open palm with his thumb, “You’re right. That was smart, thank you.” Alastor smiled brighter, “Now! Let’s put that behind us. I don’t have a terribly long time. There’s a couple things to discuss. Most importantly,” he leaned over the table, face serious, “You think I’m beautiful?”

You kicked at his shin under the table, “My heart nearly stopped! I thought it was something important! Unfunny!”

A snicker, “Cruel?”

You nodded, “Very!”

It was by most people standards a normal date. It only strayed from mundane when Alastor walked you home and asked if you had any nightmares about Tommy. 

When you told him you hadn’t slept that well in weeks, and thanked him softly for his affection as you felt that had something to do with it, he hummed happily. He offered you his home phone number, you gesturing to the phone box at the corner in return. 

The nights were busy, so you often spoke in the mornings before his work. You’d made somewhat of a schedule, waiting in the booth around when you knew he was up and settling with coffee. He’d call, you’d ramble about your evening and what wild thing happened. Luckily the detective never returned after his Sunday visit so your stories were just fun and lighthearted. His laughter sounded so good over the staticy phone line. He would tell you about his work, about the bands he had the pleasure of hearing. New Orleans was the undisputed mother of jazz, and it showed in the fervor of his audience. It wasn’t uncommon he was busy keeping up with demand for more big and new sounds. 

While you enjoyed every opportunity to see him, be it coffee at a different cafe than the first or a walk around forested areas you knew were of use to him, the calls were nice. It allowed you to enjoy him without worrying about putting any undue pressure on him. You could twirl your phone cord and bite your lip without concern.

But finally, the moment you’d been waiting for. You called Alastor and he sounded tense, like he hadn’t slept. With a simple “What’s wrong?”, he asked if you’d want to help him with work.

The first one was almost too easy. Alastor had you wait at a bar where a man he clued you in on frequented. A staff member of his station had missed work for several days, supposedly sick. Alastor got the real story from eavesdropping on the ladies at lunch. The man, Mr. A. Wellington, was next. After watching and waiting, Alastor knew the man’s patterns well enough. Including you was a risk, but he had been fighting the urge to ask you for so long now. This one seemed it would be cut and dry. 

All it took was a smirk, a well placed hand, a laugh. The man practically pushed you down the back stairs of the bar and out through the doors that led to the service street. So engrossed in ignoring your suggestion of slowing down, he didn’t hear or see Alastor standing feet beside you both. 

The look of betrayal on the man’s face as his eyes flew from Alastor back to you increased Alastor’s high was three fold. He asked the man, already too gone to reply, if he remembered his staffer. “You should. She’ll always remember you.” 

You leaned against the door that led back to the hotel bar. Your eyes and ears were open for any unwanted company, any possible danger. Other than your own little madman. Alastor took this one personally, you could tell by how much messier he was than the first two.

While he didn’t explicitly state his code of ethics for selecting “victims”, you had picked up on the pattern. A man who assaulted a young woman, a wife beater, a violent segregationist. 

Was he really doing bad things? You found it hard to pity any of them.

Once the messy part was done you’d help get the man, as it always had been so far, into the trunk. You’d share a few kisses and clean the scene before being driven home, where you’d share a few more. Your favorite part, by far.  And after you waved, he’d drive off to wherever he went with the dead men. 

But one night was atypical. One night was downright horrible.

You lured a man into a large park beside the water. A part of you almost felt bad, as he sweetly held your hand. He had been a perfect gentleman, you seducing him at a dance hall. Alastor had warned you he was dangerous, but you wondered for a second if he was Dangerous or dangerous. Like Alastor-dangerous.

You found your answer when the man smiled down at you, telling you how beautiful you looked in the starlight, how you’d stay so beautiful forever, and wrapped his hands around your neck. Capital “D” Dangerous. 

The man was knocked off balance by Alastor tackling him from the side. You all three fell into the dirt and grass. The wind was forced out of you from the impact, your hands failing to get traction as you tried to sit up. The ground was slick with mud from recent rains flooding the rivers. Hurricane season was already in full swing.

The man wasn’t huge, but he was larger than Alastor. You watched the men struggle, slippery ground complicating Alastor’s attempts to stay upright as he straddled the man, and he couldn’t get leverage enough to bring down the knife. Horrified, you sat on your legs feeling helpless as the man lifted himself and Alastor off the ground entirely and tossed him onto his back. A small cry, Alastor rolled away revealing a rock where his back had landed.

The man only needed one of his large hands to wrap around Alastor’s throat but he used two for the fun of it. Your shoes slipped off as you struggled to get to your feet like a baby deer newly introduced to the world. Everything was wet and spinning, your lungs were burning. 

Alastor didn’t feel scared as his vision went black, just annoyed he had fucked up.

Even that feeling washed away as a grayness flooded into his consciousness. Everything lost color, flavor, texture. All urgency inked out. 

Before everything slipped away, before he slipped under, he thought he heard his mother calling his name.

He thought he heard you scream. 

Part 5 is halfway done 👌

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine

@looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith ,

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #human alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #hazbin alastor #fanfiction

[zvaigzdelasas]

Okay, i wont vote biden. If trump wins we get illegal trans care in multiple states, stricter border patrol thats only gonna get worse, probably a pipeline to fix gas prices, more bans in florida, more police funding, still no financial aid, more covid denial, more republican jurisdiction actions, AND israel will still be funded to bomb palestine. What do we do. No solution has been provided people just keep saying dont vote and dont think about your future.

anon you really need to stop being so self-absorbed. literally nobody cares that you're voting for biden, in fact most probably assume just by your mannerisms & political disposition. Nobody on the post is telling you not to vote, you're not important or novel enough that your actions take up any mental space whatsoever.

All that's being asked is to not have an aneurysm when people say they're not voting for biden & to stop acting like normal people's decisions on voting is based off of who's most belligerent to them online, instead of their degree of subjectively-experienced engagement with the candidate's promises/track record & whether they believe the candidate will materially improve their lives. Most people dont vote because they don't feel the political process materially benefits them. The only way that will ever change is if the political process materially benefits them. Until then you're yelling at a brick wall.

Anyway

said the same thing in the comments of that post. I've provided this solution time and time again. This isnt even that radical of a solution nor is it something vague and indeterminate 'burn down the system!!!1!!'. Today unionization is in a massive upswing, meaning this is actually much easier to do with much more tangible outcomes than any time in the last like. 40 years. Concrete steps can be taken, today.

Or you could just continue trying to shame and berate the brick wall. your choice idgaf, just go whine somewhere else that's not my inbox

#'covid denial' remind me what covid protection measures the biden admin's currently taking #did you just copy and paste this from 2020 #like yeah the radlibs who just posture and say 'burn it all down' are annoying and dont have actual tangible ways to connect means to ends #your intuition is right on that #thats not me tho

[comet-forgot-you]

repress

roommate!max fox x reader

summary: max wants to do your makeup

warnings: none really, r thinks theres feelings for max, tension maybe, r is kinda introverted, i think thats all.

a/n: roommate max series? i think maybe. anyway shoutout to the middle pic for the inspiration for this. 😁😁 ive also never willingly worn makeup so like, i didnt know how to write the process, I TRIED MY BEST do not repost for any reason

rooming with max was… something. her personality completely differed from your own. she was outgoing, talked to people without much worry. you on the other hand, you rarely left your shared dorm and hardly talked to people unless they spoke to you first. it was almost a perfect balance.

max would always try and invite you to parties, all for which you politely declined. she was adamant, though. there was no party she went to that she didn’t invite you tag along with her. she wanted to spend more time with you outside of the dorm, she wanted to see you in different settings.

“i’m going to a party tonight, wanna come?” she asks from her spot on her bed.

“no, thank you, though.” you eyes had yet to tear away from the computer screen. you hear shuffling from behind you.

“c’mon, you need a break from that, just one party,” max says. you turn in your chair to look at the girl. she was sat on the edge of the bed, hands holding the sides.

“i need to finish this, i can take a small break, though,” you mutter, stretching your arms out. she stays still, bottom lip getting taken in between her teeth. max pushes herself off of her bed to stand in front of you.

“fine, if you don’t go to the party, at least just get dressed like you are.”

“why would i do that? its pointless.” max furrows her brows.

“its not pointless, it’ll give you a boost of confidence. i’ll do your makeup and help you pick something out, then you can take it off like it never happened.” you roll your eyes.

“youre not doing my makeup.” max frowns.

“why not? it’ll be so cute,” she mumbles, crossing her arms. “just a little bit of eyeliner and eyeshadow, i wont go too crazy, i promise.” you raise your brows and max juts her bottom lip out. you take a deep breath in.

“fine, but nothing too crazy.” max smiles, practically jumping at you to wrap her arms around your beck. she pulls back, keeping her hands on your shoulders.

“go sit on my bed, i’ll be right there.” you raise your brows and shes gone in an instant, going to retrieve her makeup. you let out a huff, what the fuck were you doing?

max is back before you’ve gotten up, eyebrows raised. “get on the bed.” you huff, pushing yourself from your chair and settling yourself on her bed. she sits across from you, setting the makeup she had retrieved in front of her. she leans across the distance between you, “close your eyes.” you’re quick to listen, eyes fluttering closed. she cups your chin to keep you in place. something presses against your eyelid, eyeliner, you think.

max lets out a huff of air, letting go of you. “this position is to awkward, get up real quick.” you open your eyes, brows furrowed slightly. you push yourself off of her bed and max rearranges her pillows. “okay, lay down here,” she says, getting off of her bed. you crawl on her bed, positioning yourself against her pillows. shes quick to follow after you, swinging a leg over your hips.

“what are you doing?” you ask, hands holding onto her hips subconsciously.

“shh, close your eyes,” she says, leaning forward. you do as she says, eyebrows furrowing. the tip of her eyeliner meets your eyelid again, gently running it across it.

shes so close, you can feel her breath against your face, her body so close to yours. you’ve never been so close to her before. brushing against each other in smaller spaces, crammed together in a booth, in your car, sure you’ve been close to her, but it was never this close.

she rubs her thumb over your eyebrows, “stop, you look stressed, its just makeup,” she mumbles. your eyebrows relax, muttering out an apology.

her hand rests on your forehead as she traces another line on your opposite eyelid. she smelt good, her hands soft on your face. she pulls back momentarily and you open your eyes to look at her. she leans over, grabbing her phone from its spot on her bed. it takes a fee moments before she’s turning the camera around to show you how you look.

“do you like it so far?” its simple, but it fits your features so well. you nod.

“yeah, looks good,” you mutter out. max smiles, flipping the phone back to her. she taps a few times and angles it above your face ever so slightly, and in seconds the flash goes off. you scrunch your face at the bright light and max groans.

“dont do that, i want to take a picture, you look pretty.” the compliment lets butterflies loose in your stomach. since when did that happen? you roll your eyes, hoping your heated cheeks didn’t give your inner thoughts away. max repositions her phone, this time rhetorically flash doesnt go off, and she quickly discards her phone to her side. she picks something up, a pencil you think, and she’s leaning back in.

your eyes study her features. her eyes, how they furrow in concentration as she traces your lips. her lips, they look soft, and for a moment, you wonder what they would feel like against your own. her eyelashes were coated with a thin layer of mascara. was she always so pretty?

“you’re staring.” her voice is quiet and she doesnt take her eyes away from your lips. you wait for her to let off of your lips to talk, not wanting to ruin her progress.

“what else am i supposed to do? you’re right in front of me,” you mumble. she smiles, averting her eyes from your own to focus on your lips. she applies a layer of lipstick. your lips feel weird with the additional layer, but you do nothing about. you cant tear your eyes away from her, the way she stares at your lips. you know its just for the purpose of applying the lipstick, but you cant help but want her to press her lips against your own.

she pulls back again, grabbing her phone to show you the end result. “hows it look?” she asks.

“its good.” you can barely even focus on your reflection. max smiles, snapping a picture of you before pushing herself off of you. you miss the heat of her body the second its gone, you miss her being so close. “thats all?” you ask, hoping it doesn’t sound as desperate to her as it did to you.

“yeah, told you i wasn’t going crazy with it,” she stands in front of your dresser. “lets get an outfit now.” you push yourself off of her bed, going to stand next to her as she goes through your drawers.

your mind raced a million miles an hour. it confused you how many times you had thought about kissing her in the small amount of time she spent in your lap, pressed against you. you’d never thought about max that way before, never really allowed yourself to look at her, to think about her, but now that it was forced, you almost wish you would’ve sooner.

you shake your head, ridding yourself of your thoughts. you couldn’t like max, you couldn’t let yourself like her, if thats what was happening. you were pretty sure max was only into guys, and even if she wasn’t, she was your roommate, and you really don’t want to make your living situation weird. you couldn’t like max.

#mikey madison #mikey madison x reader #wlw fluff #wlw post #max fox better things #max fox x reader #max fox #better things #i want max #max is so cutsie

[jacktoria4ever]

Norman Fucking RockWell-a blurb for my main man Rafe Cameron😩. they’re in an argument about wtv you chose and Rafe gets mad and starts breaking stuff, scaring the reader and with a fluffy ending. If you want to, thanks love<3

I was a bit stumped on this but it's okay

What Happened To Us?

Rafe Cameron x fem!Reader

Warnings: ANGSTY ANGST...., fluff, yeeting of objects..., bad ending, crying, rafe being scary, topper being bestie, I already said fluff but FLUFFY ENDING

A/n: thank you for requesting this Love 😘😘😘 Also not me staring at the gif for 5 mins straight 🫣 lowk me just tryna figure out the layout of his apt so I know how to get to the bathroom when I move in...it's a joke. No it's not. Also I changed the name of this one like 20 times so....just ignore it if it has a bad name...

You were on the floor crying while Rafe was yelling louder than he ever had before. You were slightly surprised and also relieved you hadn't gotten a noise complaint yet. You were almost entirely positive Rafe hadn't paid any attention to how you looked, a curled up, terrified, shaking mess. You were scared and it was evident in the way you were shying away from every little move he made while yelling at you. You don't even remember why this argument started anymore. All you knew was you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Why did you do it!? Huh? What? Are you not going to talk now?" He asked too aggressive for your liking.

You just sat there suddenly remembering why this all started in the first place.

at a party earlier that night

––≡––

"Hey, Y/n, right?" A random guy said whilst walking toward you. You didn't recognize him so you thought he must be a touron. Except a touron wouldn't know your name, so who was this?

"Ummm...? Who are you?" You asked wanting to just walk away to find your boyfriend.

"I'm one of Rafe's friends. He told me to come find you." He said suspiciously in a manner you didn't believe. You know all of Rafe's friends, even Barry so him saying this confused you.

What you didn't know was Rafe was watching this encounter thinking you were flirting because from across the room your scared, awkward smile look friendly and inviting, but it wasn't. He thought you were finally trying to find someone better than him after all he's done. What he didn't know was you were occasionally trying to look around for him but didn't succeed at all.

You learned the guy's name is chez. Where he got that name, you're not sure. All you know was you wanted out of there as soon as possible.

You still refused to follow him to Rafe because you didn't know his true intentions. Rafe on the other hand thought he knew your true intentions which weren't true at all.

After you politely denied several times and stated that if Rafe wanted you, he could come get you on his own. Chez didn't like that you didn't want to follow him so he tried to lay a hand on you. You quickly ran away, ironically right into Topper, Rafe's best friend. When you asked if he knew Chez and when he said no you got even more suspicious of him.

"Topper, can you take me home?" You asked, already knew the answer. Topper was like a brother to you, he would do anything to make his 'little sister' happy. Plus he was deemed the DD tonight.

"Yeah, of course. Why? Did something happen with this Chez guy? Or Rafe? What happened, Y/n?" He asked in a kind if rapid-fire manner.

"No, nothing happened, I'm just kinda tired and I want to be home." You say lightly not wanting the interrogation to go on longer than it has.

He just silently agreed and walked you to his truck.

"Did you tell Rafe you were going home?" He asked to make sure his best friend knew he was taking his girlfriend home.

"No, he would've wanted to come with...I just wanted to be alone. Please don't tell him, Top. I'm trusting you for a reason right now." You said quickly, knowing he wouldn't tell rafe anyway if you hadn't already.

"Y/n, I wont, I promise. He won't know." He assured with a hug as he puts his truck in park after arriving at your house.

"Thanks, Top. You're a real one." You say jokingly.

"Of course, Y/n. And I know I'm a real one. You wouldn't like me if I wasn't." He jokes along.

"Who said I like you now?" You continue on with the joke as you unlock your front door while waving goodbye to Topper. "Thanks again, Topper!" You shout lightly while walking in.

––≡––

Back to present

––≡––

"you were flirting with that guy, huh?!?" He yells at tou once again.

"Rafe-"

"No, let me talk! Who was that? Why were you smiling at him? Tell me!" He screamed loudly at you while shoving one of your favorite vases from a table to the floor. Not one of your favorites now. You flinched. He didn't notice and kept yelling 'tell me' over and over again

"Rafe, listen to me. He was a Creep. Trying to get me to follow h- him because he- he said you were friends and I- I didn't believe him so I kept stalling s- so he would forget why he came to ta- talk to me and then he l- laid a hand on my arm an- and I j- just ran away an- and I asked topper to take me home...I'm sorry." You said through broken sobs and suddenly his violent dark eyes softened.

He immediately kneeled down and hugged me. "Baby, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. It looked like you were enjoying his company because I was kind of preoccupied. I'm so sorry sweetheart. Did I scare you at all?" He asked worried.

You nodded lightly not wanting to move much.

"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry. You wanna go take a shower while I clean up my mess?" He asked while looking at your puffy, tear-stained face. He just wanted to have you relax now.

You nodded again. Still not wanting to move that much but you had to now.

He helped you up and gave you a kiss on the forehead and started to walk away to get the broom.

You slowly got up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower and when you walked out your favorite movie was playing on your TV and a note on your pillow that said:

Dear, Y/n. You have no idea how much I love you. I'm so sorry about scaring you earlier. I'm on the couch. I'll leave you alone for the night. – Yours, Rafe

You read it and wanted him in here immediately but you knew he wouldn't budge if you tried so you just went to bed.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Taglist: @dreamingwithrafe

Lmk if you want to join

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x you #rafe cameron thoughts #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe fluff #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron x y/n #♡♡♡

[the-s1lly-corner]

hi! Hooe ur having a good day so far ;)

if its not a big thing to ask, could you do the TADC crew with a s/o who has a really big sweet tooth? Like they dont need to eat, but anytime something slightly sweet is presented they always eat it no matter what? Thank you!

TADC cast x a reader w/ a sweet tooth!

yipee third request of the day! just got 13 more then im all caught up!! thinking about it more i might reopen requests day after tomorrow, if i finish all the current requests today!

CAINE:

congrats! there isnt a better source of sugar in the digital world than from the tooth man himself; bro literally pulled a cake out of thin air youre set for life if you want to eat treats! i like to think he would make a mental note of what sweets are your favorite and for what reason; taste, texture, smell, stuff like that

i personally hc that since caine is an ai he cant really taste, at least not in the same way we can, so bonus idea, imagine describing what things taste like to him, ,i think thats cute

POMNI:

when you told pomni that you had a sweet tooth, she assumed that you had a normal sweet tooth; as in you simply liked having a little treat here and there. imagine her shock when caine promises sweets as a reward for completing an IHA and you end up going full ham trying to secure the reward. maybe its because your sweet tooth is that intense, or maybe you havent had many chances to indulge since entering the digital world... whatever it may be, i think pomni would give you her candies and treats; she seems like a more bitter flavor enjoyer

RAGATHA:

writing her part first because i just got struck with an idea but imagine the two of you baking something together; bonus you keep trying to eat the stuff before its fully done (ex. you keep eating some of the frosting before it can be put on a cupcake or something). she playfully swats your hand when you try to snag more of whatever you're baking together. gives an apologetic look; would the treat not be better when its complete? come on reader, practice patience!

thats another idea for a real world au thing with ragatha, you two running a little baking business; i think that would be cute

JAX:

you guys fist fight over a bag of sour patch kids sorry i dont make the rules. i hc that jax has a huge sweet tooth, especially for sour candies. so uh, if you like sour candies youre going to have to make a stash... but considering jax has keys to some peoples rooms, you might wanna be smart about it... will share his candy with you if youre feeling extra bad one day, though

KINGER:

sweets, a loving partner, and a cozy pillow fort. does it get more comforting than that? okay maybe it can, if you pair a cup of hot coco with your cinnamon roll, but hey! side note, we see kinger sitting at the table at the end of the pilot... with food... so like.. how does he eat? does it just clip through his face? did he only get food to be polite? now i have a few questions... i dont think kinger would be a huge sweet fan; not really craving sugar that often... i think he would be a spice lover, though, this man would love himself a spice cake me thinks

ZOOBLE:

also not a particularly huge sweet fan, but i think similar to jax they would love sour candies. unlike jax, though, they wont go snooping around for your stash, though! probably snags stuff from the common areas if caine has like a communal candy store in the circus, or if not... stares at jax. you WILL hear from them if you leave your candy wrappers around though!

GANGLE:

speaking of candy wrappers, i think gangle would keep them! gives them a use; depending on what kind of material they are or like... if theyre foldable (think like a gum wrapper) she makes little pieces of origami for you! hearts, frogs, flowers, things like that! sometimes gets you some candy so she can get the wrappers. also likes how the crinkling feels n sounds!

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[rosinaparker]

"Need me that bad?"

Genre: established relationship

Pairing: seungmin x f!reader

Warnings: making out, cursing, suggestive

Summary: being on a party with your boyfriend got you little hot, didn't it?

A few days ago, one of your close friends had invited you to a house party she was throwing. Being the good friend you are, you promised you'd go but your boyfriend didn't find the idea pleseant. He insisted you took him with you. On such parties, its pretty common for girls to get hit on. He'd hate if he couldn't show you're off limits.

It was time for me to get ready. I was putting on some cute outfits when seungmin walked in. To no surprise he came up behind me, sliding his hands around my waist "looking good, only for me right?" i scoffed, i always found his little jealous side so attractive "totallyy baby" i said sarcastically, pulling on his strings a bit. His eyes rolled pulling his hands away from me "continue this little attitude and you wont be going anywhere" i pouted as i turn to him. I only sigh, agreeing to being nicer, maybe just for tonight though.

After some time, we eventually got in the car and drove to my friends house. Seungmin doesnt dislike my friends actually. He may seem like it but from all the people I could've been friends with, he's happy its them.

I open the unlocked door, music blasting through the speakers, drinks everywhere, people making out. Nothing new. "Y/n, you made it!" my friend greeted, hugging me tightly. She turned to seungmin, greeting him politely "Hi seungmin, nice seeing you"

The party was overall okay, nothing too crazy was happening. We did stumble across a mutual friend of ours, Chan! The three of us spend most of the time together, playing beer games and just talking. The three of us were sitting on one of the couches. I must admit, the alcohol started kicking in. Everything felt more relaxed, movements more slow..but seungmin seemed way more desirable then usual. The way his veiny hand held the beer can, his other holding mine, his lips looked so kissable. I pushed those thoughts away when he called my name "You good? You look a little dazed" i nodded, saying I'm okay. Little time passes by as i continue staring at him lovingly. I desperately wanted his attention, i guided his hand up my thigh, caressed his arm even laid my head on his shoulder but seungmin doesn't exactly get those signs. "i think i need to go to the bathroom, come with me?" he didn't question it, he probably thought i needed to throw up. We stood up and walked to the bathroom hand in hand.

After he closed the door i immediately attacked his lips. He was surprised but wasn't complaining. With a smirk, he pulled away "Need me that bad? Even dragged me all the way to the bathroom, huh?" he teased, squeezing my waist "couldn't control myself" i kissed him passionately again. The make out was steamy, my hair all messed up, his shirt thrown somewhere on the sink. Suddenly we heard a loud knock on the door, jumping because of it "Anyone in there??" an unfamiliar voice yelled. We fixed each other up and quickly unlocked the door. I was embarrassed to say the least, but Seungmin didn't seem bothered "Sorry, had to take care of something with her" he gave the guy a smile and shrug. We went back to the couch to say goodbye to Chan.

Lets say the night was long after we went back home.

-Rose✩

#kpop #skz #skz x reader #stray kids #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #straykids #skz seungmin #skz imagines #stray kids seungmin #seungmin #kim seungmin #skz oneshot #oneshots #skz oneshots #skz bang chan #skz chan fluff #seungmin x reader

[doe-eyed-fool]

Prey | Chapter Three

Alastor x Fem!Reader

"Mimzy! How's my favorite flapper girl?" Alastor greets the shorter woman as he strolls into the lounge. Mimzy was at the bar, in the middle of a drink when she saw Alastor. A bright smile found it's way to her face. "Alastor! What brings you by?" She asks before turning her attention to the bartender. "Hey, a round of whisky for me and my good friend here." She tells him. 

Alastor took a seat next to her. "I actually wanted to speak to you about a friend of mine. You know her, Y/n L/n. She's looking for work, you see. Something new, something that can really turn her mundane life around."  He explains. "Oh?" Mimzy raises an eyebrow. "You suggesting I let her preform? She good at singing and dancing?" She asks. "I can't just let her preform, just because you like her." A small smirk fell on her face.

Alastor decided to ignore her teasing. "She's as good as they come." He says. "Listen, I'm going to level with you Mimzy. I've been trying to get Y/n out of her unfortunate situation for a while, and every time she refuses my help. Stubborn one, she is. But this is something she's actually willing to let me help her with. I promised her I'd at least talk to you about it. But I assure you, if you give her the chance, with time, she will be brining in all sorts of people to your lounge."

Mimzy hummed as she thought about it. "I guess there's no harm in letting her try." She shrugs. "I've only met her a maybe twice, but she seems like a decent gal. And I trust you Al, if you say she's good, then she must be."

"Excellent! She'll be ecstatic to know you said yes." Said Alastor with a grin. "I haven't said yes, yet. I said I'd give her a shot. She'll have her answer, once I see her in action." Mimzy corrects him. "Now, while you're here..." She hands him a glass of whisky. "Let's enjoy the rest of the evening, shall we?"

You walk inside your apartment, exhausted from today's shift. Lot's of people came in, and you were kept on your toes throughout the whole day. Right now, you wanted nothing more than to just sleep. However, the knock at your door would prevent you from doing so. With a groan you walked to the door and opened it, annoyance clear as day in your face. Upon noticing who was on the other side, your mood quickly shifted.

"Alastor?" 

"Good evening, Y/n. May I come in?" Alastor asks politely. "I have wonderful news, you just have to hear." You nod your head and stepped aside, allowing him to enter. Shutting the door, you approach Alastor with curiosity. "What is it?" 

"I spoke with Mimzy tonight, and she said she'd give you a chance." He tells you. You almost couldn't believe it. Almost. Of course Alastor could get someone to go along with what he wanted. Rarely was there a time someone refused to hear him out. And now, thanks to him, you might actually have the chance to achieve your dream. 

"Al, you mean it? She wants to give me a chance?" You ask. Alastor nods. "I suggest you tell your boss, you wont be making it in tomorrow. Because she wants to see you first thing in the morning." 

"What?" You gasp. "But that's so soon!" 

"The sooner the better, no?" Alastor chuckles. "I'm sorry about the short notice, but she wouldn't accept any other time. She's a busy gal, she says." 

"How am I going to explain this to my boss?" You ask worryingly. "I could always explain it to him." Alastor smirks. "Explain that you're moving on to bigger and better things. Explain how he was always a slimy, no good excuse for a man, and you deserve better. And how-"

"Ok, Al. I get it." You chuckle. "But no, you don't have to do that. I'll talk to him." 

"Oh, Y/n. Always wanting to do things the hard way." Alastor shakes his head. You just shrug. 

"Thank you, Alastor. Really, I don't think I could have done that on my own." You say with a soft smile. "Anything for a dear friend." Alastor tells you. Your smile fell slightly and you felt a light stab at your chest. You ignore the feeling and continue. 

"Well, I should probably get some rest. Big day tomorrow, right?" 

"Indeed! I'll get out of your hair." Alastor says as he makes his way to the door. "I wish you all the luck int he word, Y/n. And I'll be there, right by your side for your audition tomorrow morning. I promise." 

"Thanks Al." You say before yawning. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Y/n." 

You smooth out your dress as you briskly walk to Mimzy's lounge, your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and not just from your fast pace. You never felt more nervous, today could be the day that changes your life completely, you have to be perfect. Nothing could go wrong today, it just couldn't. 

As you approach the lounge, you saw Alastor waiting just outside of the door. He gave you a wave as he saw you. You smile weakly and hurried to his side. "Morning." You greet him breathlessly. "Good morning, Y/n. Today's the big day!" Alastor says excitedly. You only nod your head, hands shaking by your side.

"Nervous?" Alastor offers.

"Terrified, more like it." You tell him. "Oh, Alastor. What if I do terribly? I would have wasted yours and Mimzy's time, and just make a complete fool of myself." You say with a shaky sigh. "Come now, you'll do just fine." Alastor said, placing a hand on your trembling shoulder. "How did your boss take the news?" He asked.

"Well, I didn't say I was quitting. Just that, I had somewhere important to be and couldn't stay for my shift." You then grimace. "The look on his face made me want  to curl up and die. He didn't say much, but I could tell he was upset with me." 

"Psh, he can be upset all he wants. He should feel grateful he didn't say anything to upset you. Otherwise, I'd be down there right now." Alastor mutters, his tone dipping low. "Anyhow!" Then his tone was right back to the usual liveliness. "Let's show Mimzy what you've got!"

Alastor leads you inside the lounge, there wasn't anyone in this early, so it was entirely empty. Aside from Mimzy, who was having a smoke at one of the tables nearest to the stage. When she noticed the two of you, she puts out the cigarette and stands from her seat. "Morning, you two. Come on over." 

You and Alastor approach Mimzy, all the while, she kept her gaze firmly on you. "Hm, yeah, just as pretty as I remember her being. Good start." Mimzy says as she checks you over. "Real question is, can you sing?" 

"Y-Yes ma'am." You nod. "Yeah? I'll be the judge of that, sweetheart." Mimzy smirks. "Now, get on up there." She points her thump at the stage. You exhale shakily and glance at Alastor. He brushed his hand on yours and nods. You walk towards the small set of stairs that lead to the stage, and climb them. You approached the microphone and held it gently. It was just two people, Mimzy and Alastor, and yet it felt as if the whole world was watching. 

"I've got a song picked out for you already." Said Mimzy before nodding towards the man at the piano near the rear of the stage. "I hope you know it." The music began to play, and thankfully you did know this song.

You swallowed a lump in your throat and bean to sing along.

I'm sentimental, so I walk in the rain I've got some habits even I can't explain Could start for the corner, turn up in Spain But why try to change me now?

I sit and daydream, I've got daydreams galore Cigarette ashes, there they go on the floor I'll go away weekends, leave my keys in the door But why try to change me now?

There was a point in the song, where you had found yourself becoming less tense. Your eyes closed, and instead of focusing on who was watching you, you look back on your memories. Memories of your parents and yourself, when you were younger. Singing along to songs on the radio with them, the sound of their voices, their faces.

Why can't I be more conventional? People talk, people stare, so I try But that's not for me, 'cause I can't see My kind of crazy world go passing me by

So, let people wonder, let 'em laugh, let 'em frown You know I'll love you till the moon's upside down Don't you remember I was always your clown? Why try to change me now?

You slowly open your eyes as the music died out, and once again it was just Mimzy and Alastor watching. Mimzy was the first to speak. "Alright. I think I have my answer." You felt nervous all over again, heartbeat picking up in your chest as you await her answer. 

"You seem a bit tense, but I guess that's normal for your first time singing in front of folks. But you'll have to handle your nerves when you sing in front of people for real. A nice voice doesn't pair well with a stiff performer." She starts. "But, I think with some practice, you'll be doing just fine. I expect a lot more folks in here now that you're gonna be singing on my stage." 

"D-Does that mean I...?"

"Welcome to showbiz, kid!" Mimzy smirks. You smile brightly at her words, looking to Alastor, you noticed he was just as happy as you were. "See, what did I tell you?" Alastor shrugs. "She's a natural." 

This was really it, you would finally make something of your life. You could finally follow your dream. And it was all thanks to Alastor. You figured you should do something nice for him, after all, he's been so kind to you for all these years.

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel #mimzy #hazbin hotel mimzy #hazbin mimzy

[awyeahitssam]

Harry/Tom; Broken Promises + Pillow Forts, unresolved angst. Weirdly soft for them.

Harry may love his boyfriend, but he was also the first to admit that Tom Riddle was a stubborn prick.

They had been dating for seven months - fighting for longer - and, naturally, Yule was no different. They spent the majority of the day schmoozing at Black manor, Harry having allowed Tom to use his political position as both the Potter and Black heir to score an invite. It was a dreadfully boring and headache inducing affair, especially because Tom abandoned him several times to whisper his plans for World Domination into the ears of enthralled purebloods.

And now that they were back home, Tom was refusing to honor his end of the deal.

“We’re both exhausted, Harry,” he sighed, replacing a stiff dress shirt with soft cotton. “Another time.”

Harry doubted that. Plus, it was important to watch today. When Harry was young and Lily alive, every Yule had been spent on this very couch, bundled under blankets with a mug of hot chocolate and Christmas specials playing.

“We just spent most of the day playing politics because you wanted to, Tom, something I only agreed to because you promised we would do this tonight.”

“We left early because you said you were exhausted,” Tom rebutted. “Which means you need sleep, not to watch muggle Telly programs.”

“Fine,” Harry snapped, pulling Mrs. Weasley’s annual sweater over his head to conceal his hurt expression until he could get it under control. “Do what you want, but I’m watching this.”

Tom didn’t have family traditions. He didn’t have family. So it was understandable that he didn’t know how important this was to Harry.

But Harry had watched these with Remus once his mother died, and doing it alone, now that they were both gone, felt wrong.

Not that he had ever truly explained the importance of this to Tom. His lover probably thought of it as a silly whim, a favor. Perhaps he just detested muggles too much to care how his turnabout would affect Harry, and had never been planning to watch at all. It did rather sound like him.

Harry curled into a ball at the edge of the sofa and twisted his wand. Pillows zoomed from every room of the house, blankets floating behind them, and Harry heard a grunt as Tom -- presumably -- dodged one as they piled around him, building a fort that made him feel more cozy and less alone.

“Harry,” Tom hissed, in that all-too-familiar tone of frustration.

“What?” Harry snapped, turning on the Christmas special. His chest felt tight and he could feel his eyes welling with stupid, traitorous tears he refused to let fall. There was a pause, and then a blanket was pushed aside, allowing Tom to peer into his fort.

He was frowning, but it was more concerned than annoyed, and Harry looked away quickly. Not quickly enough, it seemed, because Tom sighed heavily and stepped into the fort, gently grasping his cheek.

“What is it, darling?”

Harry shrugged, pulling out of Tom’s grasp.

“Nothing,” he said through a dry throat. “I don’t like it when you make me promises you have no intention of keeping.”

Tom tensed, but didn’t deny his claim. “You’re typically not so upset.”

Harry turned to face him, anger only making the tears stronger. “Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it,” he snapped. “As much as you hate liars, it’s interesting what you’ve become, isn’t it?”

But Tom did not snap back, or fly into a pique as he was wont to do when Harry criticized him. Instead, he crouched down before him with a frown, hesitantly touching his knees. “I’ve truly upset you,” he noted, then offered, “I’ll stay. We can watch the program together.”

Harry grimaced, pulling away from the tentative touch. “I don’t want you here if you don’t want to be here,” he said, heart panging. “Why don’t you go back to Malfoy’s? I know he was talking about the after-party half the night.”

But Tom only frowned at him. “I’m not leaving,” he said. “You’re upset with me.”

Harry’s chest tightened. “When has that ever stopped you from leaving in the past?”

“Well, if you would just tell me instead of expecting me to know!” Tom snapped. “I’m trying here, Harry!”

“Maybe I need time,” Harry returned, just as fiercely though his own voice was quiet. “I don’t have to tell you everything, Tom, and I’ll tell you nothing before I’m ready to. I had your word that you would do this with me. Excuse me for believing that would be enough.”

From the fleeting expression on Tom’s face, a punch might’ve landed gentler. Neither of them trusted easily. Tom, because he’d never had reason to trust. Harry, because his faith had been broken so many times in the past.

#oh no #what's this? #my writing #tom riddle/harry potter #Tom/harry #harry/tom #angst my dear #it's angst #but like #swoft angst

[chuuyasfanboy]

HII!! Could you do one with Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi reacting to a reader who has one of those SHTWT accounts? It's a kind of strange request, but I've never seen anyone talk about it!!

I actually loved your blog, I'm currently hooked! <3

NOT a weird request at all! I dont have any social medias like this, but I interact with edtwt and have friends with both edtwt's and shtwt's, so I think I'm comfortable enough talking about the issue!

Now this may be very hypocritical of me BUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING MENTALLY PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Here's a link to a website with hotline numbers! Even if you cant get yourself to stop completely, please at least be save enough to keep living. Love you all mwah<3

https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

Definitely didn't skip a matchup request to write this... Promise I'll get to you soon other person! I've had some ideas in mind heheheh

Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi (Seperate) x shtwt!Reader

Tw: Sh tw, mentions of edtwt in the ooc lol, spoilers dazai totally has a shtwt too</3

Dazai Osamu

Starting off with the worst reaction

Why is he the worst, you ask?

He has one too!

He totally followed you by accident because he just found this all so inspirational. And then you posted a tweet with the same joke you'd made earlier that day.

And oh he knew.

He's mad, but mostly because you never told him you were struggling.

He's the one who's supposed to be masking his emotions, damn it!

(I'm not sure if shtwt is the same way, but i know edtwt is chock full of motivational disgusting food images posting! I'm making those assumptions that its similar lol)

He definitely tries to convince you to get help, and he feels really bad for not actually being that worried.

He trusts you to keep yourself safe enough and so eventually he just gives up on the notion altogether

It doesnt take long for the two of you to be a bit more open with it all

He finally shows you whats under those bandages

It's worse than you think.

You're the one who convinces him to properly treat his cuts, and after enough bothering, you finally let him treat you the same.

Late nights when the two of you cant sleep, and he comes over.

The both of you in each others arms, disinfectant and fresh rolls of bandages discarded on the nightstand

While he may not be the one you go to for support, he definitely wont judge you for anything, not even a bit

And if you do decide to finally get help, he's there to cheer you on

Dont be fooled though, he wont be changing his ways at all

Good luck getting this stinker to find value in himself!

Chuuya Nakahara

He's got the best reaction, by far

He's trying not to judge you, really

It's not something he's ever had to struggle with these things, and the furthest he can really give you is an absurd amount of sympathy

The little experience he does have comes from his years with Dazai in the port mafia, but that was a long time ago and he hasnt had to think of it since

It brings up old memories...

You'd left it open on a private tab one night, and he found it when you asked him to look up something

He's about ready to cry, really, but he's strong

For you

He encourages you to get help, professional help

And if you decline, he doesnt push it much further

Instead, he offers you help directly

He cofiscates your razors the best he can, but he soon finds you manage to get them anyway

So he comprimises

When you forget to clean them, he does it for you

Buys you disinfectant and fresh bandages every time he knows youre running low, keeps your first aid stocked

Things like that

He politely asks to not be shown any fresh wounds, twitter post or not, and does his best not to think about the fact you post these things so openly and he hadn't even known

If you do decide to seek help, he's the most supportive.

He keeps you on your recovery plan, holds you close if you relapse, and never passes a single word of judgement your way

He's here for you, always

Atsushi Nakajima

Akutagawa found it before he did

Atsushi was told, immediately

He PANICS, and as soon as he sees you he pulls you aside

And he just cries into your arms

You're left so confused like?

What????

He understands why you didnt tell him, and he doesnt blame you for it

But he's still pretty upset

Moreso with himself than you

Again, like the other two, you'd been posting pictures of it all online and he had to be told!

He insists you get help, and he wont let up on it

Reminds you every day after a nicely times good morning text

"If you're feeling down make sure you call somebody before you do anything, okay?"

He's practically on his hands and knees begging you to unfollow the shtwt's you've bombarded your feed with

Suddenly he's terrified of looking over your shoulder at your phone, but also so afraid every time he isnt

He's really not good at sorting it out, his brain is scrambled and he's panicked every time he thinks about it

But he really does try hard to stay positive

And while one or two things he says may unintentionally come off as judgement, a good majority of his opinions on the topic is really just trying to get you help

He makes an alt account just to keep tabs on your shtwt

Its really obvious, made a day ago and following only you

You don't tell him that though<3

#sh trigger #ana trigger #minor tw #bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #dazai #dazai x reader #x reader #bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #requests open #atsushi x reader #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #x reader comfort #dazai x reader comfort #chuuya x reader comfort #atsushi x reader comfort #x male reader #x female reader #x gn reader #dazai x male reader #dazai x female reader #dazai x gn reader #chuuya x male reader #chuuya x female reader

[reallyromealone]

Hellooo! Can I request a Bonten with a teenage son reader where they forget his birthday but he doesn't say anything because he knows his dads are busy. Like how they react when they realize and maybe how they make it up to him. Anyway have a good day or night! I really love your work and totally don't stalk your blog everyday👀

Of course! Let's goooo

And I realize more and more how many of you wait for me to post stuff

Well I'm taking a break from writing kinktober so I got maximum capacity focus on fluff

Warning: male reader, angst to fluff, teenage reader

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(Name) felt his heart sink to his stomach as he read the text from Kakucho 'wont be home tonight, we will see you in the morning' With a 'love you' sent after.

Today was his birthday.

His 16th birthday.

For the past two months they had been hyping it up for him, getting his hopes up.

Only to forget.

He should have expected it though.

They are really busy.

They don't have time to stop and throw a stupid party for him, he didn't even want a party though.

He just wanted a day with them.

They told him how they were gonna do fun stuff he enjoyed but (name) supposed that wasn't happening anytime soon.

"Better do my homework, not like I have plans anyways"

(Name) didn't tell his dad's they forgot, not wanting to seem whiny or anything but after a week he just decided to move on despite the pain in his chest.

"Have you noticed (name) seems a little down lately?" Mochi asked Takeomi who grunted in agreement "he's acting like someone killed his dog or something" takeomi commented as their teenage son did his homework quietly, bags under his eyes.

"What day is it again?" Ran asked as he checked the calendar on the first of two fridges, the men barely have been home to check the family plans.

"Oh it's (date)" Kakucho said as he came in to grab a bottle of water, the others watching ran freeze as he looked at a circled date on the calendar "...shit"

"What?" The others looked at the calendar and held an expression of guilt before glancing at their kid.

Oh god.

They forgot his birthday.

And they hyped it up so much!

Just to crush that hope.

(Name) never asked for much, even as a baby he only really wanted quality time and got them to hang out with him sometimes.

God they felt like monsters.

No wonder (name) was so down!

"We have to make it up to him!"

"Get the others, meet in the home meeting room" and with that one half of the dad squad went and collected the rest, glancing at the teenager.

"Why didn't he say anything?" Koko asked as they sat at the table and Sanzu scoffed at him "seriously? Somehow we managed to make the most polite kid in the world, he would never call us out on forgetting"

"How the fuck do we make this up to him? We literally crushed his spirit!"

"We will figure something out!"

The men walked into the living room where (name) sat, still doing his homework and God did they feel like assholes.

"Oi! Come with us" Rindō said seriously and (name) looked confused as he walked to his dad's, handed his shoes "what's going on?" (Name) asked softly as he was brought to the expensive car "don't worry about it kiddo" Kakucho said patting his back as they drove off.

(Name) was confused, though never scared.

He never had a reason to be scared of his dad's.

Even when Sanzu was in a drug crash.

They drove through Tokyo till they made it to a diner.

He hadn't been to the diner in ages, it's where they would take turns taking him as a small child when they would collect him from preschool and parts of grade school.

Some of his fondest memories were at this diner.

And Sanzu would never admit it but he would always share his cheesecake with little (name), making him promise to keep it a secret that he shared.

Mikey was the same with his food, though less secretive.

"...what's going on?" (Name) asked softly and Ran sighed "we're sorry"

"Sorry for what?"

"Forgetting your birthday"

(Name) very obviously closed up and mumbled "it's fine, you're all busy"

"It's not fine, we built it up to be great and crushed your hopes, this is the beginning of us making it up"

And they kept to their word, taking (name) anywhere he wanted to go.

And they promised themselves and (name) to not do that to him again.

They didn't want him to face the disappointment they faced countless times before from their own families.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #bonten x reader #male reader #teen reader

[jackoshadows]

Hi, so I watched GoT+ am on asoiaf 1 rn and I have a Q about Dany; why is her character so divisive? I read meta by pro Dany fans and its "Dany's compassionate, self critical, a good ruler, a political reformer, frees slaves she'll be a hero at the end" and the antis "shes entitled, vengeful, profiter of slavery, a coloniser and GRRM wont validate a foreign invasion with nuclear weapons; hes anti war!!" Like, wHAt? Surely her character cant be THAT ambigious?! These are popular opposites??

Alright, I'll try to explain this from my perspective as a Jon Snow fan. However, this will be spoilery if you have read only one book. I would suggest reading all the books before joining in on discussions about the character.

It's a combination of things.

One is most definitely sexism. I don't throw that word around lightly having been constantly attacked as a ‘sexist dudebro who hates women’ for simply critiquing a female character.

Sexism in fandom is when female characters are held to different standards compared to their male counterparts. When female characters are critiqued or disliked for doing the same thing that male characters are often praised for doing. Daenerys is subjected to a lot of this which is especially evident in the books because she has a parallel arc of leadership with Jon Snow over at the Wall - the two characters at the ends of the world. 

An example is right there in your ask. GRRM is anti-war and hence why would he validate Dany's invasion - She is therefore in the wrong. Okay. In which case why not extend that argument to every other main character in the series? GRRM is anti-war and therefore Robb Stark was wrong to wage war for Northern independence. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Jon Snow is wrong to help Stannis in his battle against the Boltons. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Tyrion is wrong to use wildfire and defeat Stannis at the battle of the blackwater. GRRM is anti-war and therefore Jon Snow is the villain of the battle at Castle Black.

I think the main thesis of GRRM’s argument in regard to his protagonists has been that there is no good or bad and instead they are all morally gray? Yeah war is bad and most of our protagonists engage in war and they are therefore morally grey characters. I mean, Jon Snow is over there taking child hostages that he has promised to behead - does that make him a baddie? Ned Stark took Theon as a child hostage. Is he a baddie? Our main characters all belong to noble houses in a feudal monarchy - a system of governance that GRRM relentlessly critiques in the books. Are they all baddies?

This double standard is particularly glaring when Dany's battles in Essos is about helping the little guy - the slaves who are under the worst kind of oppression. The WOT5K (War of the 5 Kings) on the other hand was about personal power, ravaged the land and lead to much devastation and suffering. However, for some strange reason when fandom discusses the books and the author being anti-war they focus particularly on Daenerys - that strange reason is sexism.

If you have watched GOT, I am sure you would have noticed those obvious  double standards yourself.

Tyrion standing there making sad faces makes it look like Daenerys is doing something wrong when she executes the Tarlys - two treasonous traitors. However every other House does the same! Jon Snow executed the mutineers at the wall - even a child. After the battle of bastards, he mentions the Karstarks and Umbers having been killed in battle or else they would have been executed. Sansa wants to punish even their children!! But for some strange reason [(i.e) sexism] a female leader executing traitors is evil. That she does so without crying (Something the show runner David Benioff points out in an BTS interview) means she is evil. Jon not crying when killing people = badass, Dany not crying when killing people = evil.

Daenerys in battle with Jaime Lannister to get the Iron Throne = evil. Starks fighting against the Boltons to get Winterfell = Yay! Awesome. Thousands die in both battles - in one battle they die, burned by dragonfire. In the other one they are hacked to death and die with their guts hanging out. In both cases, people die.

The show quickly moves past Jaime Lannister, the Tarlys and their men massacring everyone of Olenna's men and piling their bodies high and sacking and looting the place. However, the show takes time to linger on Tyrion's sad face with the sad music and the men dying when Daenerys is attacking those same men on the battlefield.

I am not even getting into season 8 because it was so, so bad and full of puke inducing sexism that will need 10 pages to outline. I think you have got the gist of why sexism is such a large factor in how Dany's character is otherized and analyzed by fandom at large and made worse by Benioff and Weiss' rampant misogyny shining through in the show's writing.

I mentioned this in another post and I will say again - removing show Tyrion from show Daenerys' narrative would reduce the sexism in her story arc ten fold. He was D&D's mouthpiece in the series after season 5 - there to tell us that Dany was evil for doing all the things the male characters did.

And yes, Nuclear weapons are bad. Nuclear weapons can also be a deterrent and prevent war. Nuclear weapons can also be useful in a fantasy, magical world dealing with an existential apocalyptic threat. This is why I find one to one comparisons like these to be ridiculous. The Starks also have some fiercesome beasts that the author has indicated will be used in battle. Are we calling them evil?

The rest. Colonizer? They should look up what that means and whether it applies to Dany's story in Essos. Profiting off slavery? If one reads the books one knows this is blatantly untrue. Entitled and vengeful? No more than any of the other main characters who belong to noble houses in Westeros.

Daenerys has her flaws, not saying that she doesn't. That's what makes her a three-dimensional and relatable character. It's easy to criticize the character because she does self-reflect and introspect, is sometimes crippled by self-doubt and wants to do things differently and try different options - something that makes her human and real and very well written. Leadership is not easy and she’s 15 in the last book.

The other aspect is a flaw in the writing with respect to the setting of Daenerys' story in the series. She's the only main POV character in Essos until Arya and Tyrion get there in ADwD. And there is a lot of orientalism in GRRM's writing for Essos - meant to represent the East while Westeros represents the West.

There's much to say about how he writes the Dothraki as savage barbarians. While he gives POV characters for the Ironborn with Theon and Asha and characters like Mance, Tormund and Ygritte for the Freefolk, where's the equivalent of all that for the Dothraki? Oh but look, they are eating honeyed locusts! How exotic! There's lots of cartoonishly evil slavers who kill puppies! GRRM keeps otherizing their customs and culture as being savage and cruel and different - highlighted by the fact that we don't have a single Essosi POV giving us their side of things.

I do find GRRM's orientalism distasteful and off putting, especially as Essos is just a prop, a stepping stone for the characters before they move onto Westeros where the real story is happening. That is however a critique of the writing, not of the character. People tend to conflate the two. A middle aged white man writing in the nineties about a fantasy eastern world does not make Daenerys a 'white savior' or a 'colonizer' and it's clear from various interviews the author has given that this was not his intention either.

Daenerys is also the only Targaryen POV in the books. Think about that. The Starks have 6 POVs in the first book. The Lannisters get 3 by AFfC. The Greyjoys have 4, the Martells have 2. The only major house worse off than the Targaryens are the Baratheons with no POV characters.

We see Jon Snow through Arya and Bran’s POV. We see Arya through Jon’s. We get none of this for Dany. The Starks have a home and a loving family. Dany meanwhile is starting off the story at her lowest point - an abusive brother and forcefully married off to a Dothraki. While the Starks then end up losing that security, family members die, one of them is a hostage and the other is on the run - they still have memories of each other. Danerys meanwhile, slowly and painfully works her way to the top. 

Reminds me of a post I responded to the other day, where the OP said that Arya and Jon cannot be underdogs because they are winners (Whatever that means). That’s the attitude that a lot of fandom has towards Daenerys - now that she is queen and has power, she has it easy compared to the likes of Sansa and the rest of the Starks. Ignoring that when the books started Daenerys was in a way worse position than any of the Starks.

This is a fandom that thinks that Sansa Stark deserves to be Queen in the North because she’s beautiful, has good manners and is a Stark. And this is the same fandom who think that Daenerys, who worked her way to the top - with no family to help, no happy childhood, no teachers, no security of food and shelter, who were beggars and on the run at one point - the Daenerys who is currently spending an entire book ruling a city state, making trade deals, dealing with an insurgency and famine, engaging in marriage diplomacy to sue for peace for the slaves she freed, that Daenerys is entitled. Do you agree?

I am a Jon Snow fan and even I can see how utterly ridiculous the fan discourse around Daenerys is. When the show was on, I was only posting about Jon and there was so much anti Dany stuff on the Jon Snow tags I had to wade into discussion about the character. And the more I defended her, the more I ended up re-reading her chapters, the more I ended up loving the character. There’s so much hypocrisy and sexist double standards where the character is concerned.

And I have not even touched upon the obnoxiousness that is ‘Jonsa’ - group of morons who think Sansa is the main character in a book series called A Song of Sansa and Sansa and Jon is secretly in love with Sansa who is going to be Queen with executioner/personal spymaster Arya Stark and her consort Jon Snow who will sexually manipulate and murder Daenerys for his great love Sansa.

Sansa fans make up the vast majority of asoiaf fans on Tumblr and the majority of them dislike Daenerys and Arya or see Dany as Sansa’s antagonist - even though these two characters have no connection in the books and I doubt they would ever interact. If you look at most of the anti Dany posts on here, they will be made by someone with a Sansa pfp. There are posts about how Jon will kill Dany or how Arya will kill Dany, and if you look at their blogs they will be big Sansa fans.

These are the same people who write essays on how Arya is not a real girl or is ‘male-coded’ or who write essays on how Daenerys only uses ‘threats and force’ whereas Sansa is apparently a political genius who uses ‘Soft Power’ - a foreign policy concept - because she talked down 13 year old idiot Joffrey that one time. When in the actual books, it’s Daenerys who has used Soft Power in her marriage diplomacy with Hizdahr and Sansa has never engaged in any kind of politics with actual adults.

Notice that these kinds of ‘metas’ are popularized by fandom bnfs using blogs like asoiafuniversity. There’s this very popular idea that’s propagated in fandom that Sansa is kind and compassionate when in the actual books there are more instances of kindness and compassion from Arya and from Daenerys. This is once again an example of how sexism and misogyny in this fandom has worked to give the wrong impressions of these characters. Arya and Daenerys are seen as more violent compared to Sansa even though Daenerys’ entire arc for two books has been about helping an oppressed population. The mind boggles!

It’s the same when it comes to love and romance. Arya and Daenerys are not considered worthy of love, romance and marriage because they are the wrong kind of girls. And let’s not bring age into this considering Sansa is 11 at the start of the books and she is the fandom bicycle shipped with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

I am not even getting into the slut-shaming and victim blaming that Daenerys gets in the fandom. There was actual discourse in this fandom on how Dany was not a good rape victim like Sansa because she brought up her rape in conversation! Daenerys is somehow seen as less than because she can’t possibly have children - that apparently makes her less of a woman and a bad partner for Jon Snow unlike Sansa Stark who will surely have ten babies!

The worst part is that’s it women who engage in this kind of discourse and the same women who turn around and gaslight the fandom into thinking that Sansa is unfairly targeted because of sexism.

There’s also the usual dislike from the fans of other characters.

There are Jon Snow fans who see him as the prophesied hero and main protagonist, who don’t like Daenerys coming over and taking away main character status. I personally think there is no one main character. IMO, Jon, Dany, Arya, Bran and Tyrion are all tier one main characters, who will work together against the Army of the Dead. [Note: This works the other way as well. I have seen Dany fans who dislike Jon Snow as well and think he is unimportant in the grand scheme of things]

There are Stannis Baratheon stans over on the Asoiaf subreddit who will excuse everything Stannis does - including burning people alive for his God - and then nitpick every single policy decision of Dany’s in order to argue she is evil or a bad ruler. 

There are house Stark fans who hate House Targaryen and see them as in opposition to each other. There are fans who believe in Northern exceptionalism i.e the North is special and Dany is a threat to that specialness because she wants the 7K etc. etc.

This turned out to be a long post. On the whole, the answer to your question on why Daenerys is such a polarizing character is mainly because of sexism. There are other factors like the setting and isolation of her story, the lack of other POVs etc. The main reason though is sexism and ship wars.

#asks #ask

[yourfavehaskenergy]

This movie has consumed my every thought so now I’m making a new tumbr about it.

This is an account where you can submit any characters you feel have Kenergy. I am firm in the belief that Kenergy is not specific to one gender so send me all your blorbos.

Tell me their name and the media they’re from (I wont be able to do it if the media isn’t specified) and I will smack them over my Kenergy flag that looks like this

More about this flag here if you’re interested

If you want to give me more than one character, please send them through separate submissions.

I WILL GET TO YOUR CHARACTER EVENTUALLY I PROMISE! I don’t do repeats of the exact same character, but different versions are fine (ex. Fred Jones from Scooby-Doo: Mystery Inc. and Fred Jones from What’s New Scooby-Doo?), just be specific if you want.

The people/characters I post do not reflect my own opinions on the person, character or creator. This account is entirely fan service and I will do my best to post everyone’s request.

I am not comfortable posting real Political figures such as Presidents, members of Parliament/Congress, stuff like that. So far this is the only restriction I have.

I’ve never had a blog that takes submissions so I’m still figuring that out and what potential boundaries I may have. I will try to be consistent in posting once a day, so it may take a while to get to your blorbo. Book and podcast characters may take longer because (unless there is official art,) I need explicit consent from artists to use their drawings (obviously)

#kenergy is a feeling #it shouldn’t be specific to a gender #kenergy itself can be a gender #kenergy #ken #barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #ryan gosling #and ken

[suikunishizu]

❥Promise..•°. *࿐

✦✦NOTES✦✦ ✦Angst.. and Fluff! ✦Character(s) included:✦ ✦Nakajima Atsushi ✦Pairs✦ ✦Atsushi x f!Reader (you) ✦Again for any mistake i make.. i am terribly sorry <3 •°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°. *࿐•°.

Nakajima Atsushi was your childhood friend in the orphanage which you grew. You grew up being one of the favored children in the orphanage because of your kind and polite attitude and always helping in the orphanage on the other hand you knew Atsushi's situation.

So you often kept the head master occupied so he wont go punish Atsushi.. but this was a failed plan the head master always gave you task so you wont keep him occupied. By the time you were done with your given tasks he was done... punishing Atsushi. You hurriedly go to Atsushi's 'room'. You look at him sadly as you reach to open the cell.. the keys were on the table so you quickly grab it and entered his cell.. which he was crying , being him the most precious and your treasured friend you quickly took your jacket (the head master gave you) and covered him with it, holding him gently while he flinched and sob.

"Y.. y/n" He sobs and he hugged you.

"Atsushi im here.." You cried too.. hurt to see him like this. You were angry at yourself and the head master. You dont know why he always punished Atsushi.

Until one day you saw the orphanage's farm ravaged and the chicken coop. You heard a rustling noise behind a bush nearby. You slowly walked towards the bush with a wooden broom. You saw a white tiger illuminated by the moon.. Gorgeous.. you thought. Then the white tiger and you met each other's eye.. It was a familiar feeling.. You reached your hand out to the white tiger.. almost touching its fur as the white tiger leaned on your hand... you caress the tiger.. but within seconds the headmaster and the other caretakers shouted to get away from the tiger. You flinched and the tiger jumped back and growled at them and you could not take your eyes off the tiger. You were not scared, not at all.. it all felt familiar. You were dragged by the arm by one of the caretakers as they led you inside the orphanage and to the bedroom. You quickly looked out the window and saw the headmaster and the other caretaker taking care of the white tiger. You cannot see anymore due to the caretaker that led you to the bedroom as they blocked it with the curtain and told you to not interfere no more.

You could not think other than about the white tiger. So you decided to sneak out every night to see the tiger. Unfortunately, after that event, you heard a conversation about the incident. You were shocked and surprised when the headmaster mentioned Atsushi's name at the same time not. Of course, they would banish Atsushi. It wouldn't be a lost for them.. but for you.. your heart sank deep. You were sad , angry, and depressed.. but Atsushi was the only person they would banish.. that was strange.. it wouldn't make a difference if they banished one child.. unless..

You sneaked out at night before the day they were going to banish Atsushi.. You took your time packing up things.. You heard the floor boards creek.. You quickly hid behind a closet.. It was.. the head master.

"Come out" He said.. "I know you heard our conversation".. you gulped..

You came out of your hiding place.. and walked towards the head master.. he gave you a hard slap across your face.. thud.

You fell on your knees..

"You are forbidden to see that curse again." He said.

Curse..? Did he meant Atsushi..? You thought. "Why..?" You asked.. your voice almost cannot be heard. "Because i said so." He said. So you walked back to the bedroom and slept.. you couldnt see Atsushi anymore.. you feel sad.. you feel.. empty. It is the day they banish Atsushi out of the orphanage.. you can see his tearful eyes.. his broken expression.. you were sad.. crying your eyes out as you peeked through the window.. Before they closed the gate.. you ran.. fast.. as if your life depends on it. You hugged Atsushi.. tight. You gave him your necklace. "Remember me.. please.." You choked on your own voice. He smiled.. as he wiped your tears.. "I promise" He said softly..

The caretakers running after you to take you back inside.. You cried.. hurt to see him go.. you don't know when you two will meet again.. but he promised.. so you cling onto that promised.. He waved goodbye as you cried..

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

>< Might make a series out of this.. Also you didn't know Atsushi had an ability you never had one yourself (or do you?) or seen one.. I think this fic.. is.. horrible.. :))))))

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

#atsushi nakajima #atsushi x reader #atsushi bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi x you #meow

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature

#starfield #sam coe #cora coe #meta #lillian hart negative #jacob coe negative #fuck hart and fuck jacob they're both cops without empathy and they can get fucking bent thanks for coming to my ted talk

[sorcharavenlock]

42. A man of mystery.

I call Nea and Kitty the next day. As always, they are up for a new adventure!

Nea drives while Loki casts the spell Frigga taught him to divine the whereabouts of this magic quill.

After a few hours, we arrive in a strange little town called "Forgotten Hollow".

Nea parks the cars and Loki weaves his magic.

"Please let it not be in that creepy mansion over there," I say to Nea.

"It's in that creepy mansion over there!" Loki yells cheerfully over his shoulder.

"I should have brought Dean," Kitty grumbles. "This place is giving me the creeps."

"I kind of like it," Nea shrugs. "It's awesome in a spooky sort of way!"

It is early September, but snowflakes are already drifting down from the sky above. I shiver. This whole place is weird!

"Are you sure it's there?" I ask Loki.

"Do you not trust my magic?" He replies archly.

"Just cast the spell again please, just to make sure."

"Well, that answers that question," Nea grins.

Loki makes his way to the door.

"It's open," he says as he steps inside.

"Loki! You can't just walk into someone's home unannounced!" I follow him with a sigh.

"Why not? it gives us the element of surprise!"

The home owner sure seems surprised!

"Nea, isnt' that the guy we met in the club?" Kitty asks.

"What do you think you are doing just barging into my home?"

"My name is Loki, son of Odin, formerly prince of Asgard, god of Mischief." loki introduces himself politely.

"We are looking for a powerful atrifact and my scrying spell led me to your home."

"My name is Valentin," V says. "And whther you are a prince or a god doesnt' matter, you can't just come barging into my home!"

"My sincere apologies, we weren't certain what to expect," Loki apologises smoothly.

Valentin invites us to take a seat.

He seems rather taken with Nea.

"We are looking for Hela's Quill," Kitty explains. "Wwe are hoping we could borrow it so we can bring Loki back to life."

"Hela's Quill? I have it here, yes. It is not something I particularly care for, I have to admit. You are free to take it. Follow me."

We follow him down the stairs into the basement where we find an underground hedge maze.

"Well, this place just keeps getting weirder," Nea comments.

Valentin just smiles. "You should see the rest of the house. perhaps i'll show you around some other time."

"This is Hela's Quill. You are free to take it, but i'm afraid it won't do you any good."

"We have a capable author amongts us," Loki explains.

"That is not the problem. The problem is that the author has to write down the subject's life story before said subject dies. It wont' work posthumously, I'm afraid.

But feel free to take it. I'd rather be rid of it, if I am to be honest."

Loki takes the quill, not showing his dissapointment.

"Come, let's go," I say. "let's give Valentin and Nea a chance to talk!"

We walk out of the door just as Valentin sits himself down at his pie organ.

"See, he gets to have an organ," Loki grumbles.

"This is quite the place you've got here," Nea says.

"It belonged to my Father's family. They were strange people."

"And your mother?"

Valentin glaces at the door Loki just left through. "They are even stranger," he smiles.

"Yeah, that isn't mysterious at all," Nea mutters to herself. "You aren't going to tell me more about yourself, are you?"

"No, not right now," Valentin grins. "perhaps the next time."

"You said that the last time," Nea points out.

Valentin stands up and takes her hands into his.

"I promised you we'd meet again, and so we did."

"You couldn't possibly have known we'd walk into your house today," Nea points out.

"Couldn't I?"

"Well, I suppose I've seen a lot weirder stuff recently," Nea admits.

"Good. Because having me in your life means you'd better get use to the strange and unexplainable."

"Does that mean I'll see you more often?"

"Oh yes. I am certain we are destined to meet again," Valentin says with a smile that makes her go weak at the knees, not that Nea would ever admit to that!

"But you should go now, your friends are waiting for you."

"Farewell, my beautiful Nea. Until we meet again."

[halcyon-writings]

Ravus x reader who where friends before the fall of tenebrae and got separated during the chaos, the y find eachother again in Altissia before its attacked

now ravus is def one of the og babygirls if you don't think so argue with the wall.

nav.

You think to yourself, well how did you get into this situation?

For all intents and purposes, you were a plain Altissian diplomat preparing for the arrival of the Prince of Lucis and his entourage. Now you were in a hotel across the city surrounded by soldiers of Niflheim, and sitting from you, is a pair of familiar siblings. You were aware of their presence too, as they had 'accompanied' the Oracle. (Everyone else knew that she was essentially a hostage.) But Secretary Claustra, your boss, had instructed you to go about as normal, something far more easily said than done.

You clear your throat, and a cup of now lukewarm tea in your hands is still full. You did not have it in yourself to take even a sip, much less snack on any of the delicious-looking tea cakes being offered to you.

"It truly has been some time, but I am delighted to see you doing well," is what Lunafreya breaks the silence with. Quite frankly you're just glad that she is here. At least you could still get the feeling that she was the same kindhearted girl you had met years prior. Ravus on the other hand? You could only hide your grimace so well. But you couldn't blame him for that.

"Same here, Lady Lunafreya, I have fond memories of our childhood, and while it is a bit late, you have my congratulations on your upcoming nuptials as well," Your smile is tight. Polite and practiced, but you could only hope she knows that truly, you were glad she was happy.

"Please call me Luna."

"Luna it is."

The short conversation continues without any problems. An attendant, who seems just as nervous as you were, is announced at the doorway. With so many gazes on her, she stutters that it was another fitting for the Oracle's wedding gown.

Lunafreya smiles gently, more for the young woman's sake than anything, as the poor thing shook like a leaf. Before quietly excusing herself, she takes your hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze. Ravus only nods in response to her goodbyes for the afternoon. You hear her footsteps, alongside the attendant and the guards assigned to her, retreating down the hall.

Which left you awkwardly sipping at the same cup of tea you had received when you sat down.

"I am... I am glad that you are doing well too," You almost miss it. Placing your teacup down onto the small saucer, you see now that it was Ravus being far more hesitant now that Lunafreya was gone.

A part of you thinks, that maybe he had not changed as much as you thought he did. As you grew up in Tenebrae, you had considered Ravus just as much of a friend as you did for Lunafreya, best friends even. But then, it all went terribly wrong, as all things in this world seemed wont to do, and now you had made it here.

"You don't need to be a stranger Ravus," Your tone is much lighter, "If I remember, you were the chatty one, even talking us out of trouble for a lot of your pranks."

Across from you, you might have thought he blushed. Poorly hidden behind your hand, you snort.

"I suppose not," He agrees. For a time, it was just you both reminiscing about your shared childhood. But like all good things, this meeting too comes to an end. You hesitate in saying goodbye because it sounds final. Like with Lunafreya, you take Ravus' hands into your own, much to Ravus' surprise when you even take hold of his metal one too.

Promises to meet again, such as when the wedding preparations and the summoning of the Leviathan were over, were made. You collect your things and make your way out.

Naively you hope that things can stay like this for a while. Yet when you stare outside into the waters surrounding Altissia, all you feel is unease.

#ffxv x reader #ffxv imagines #ravus nox fleuret x reader #final fantasy xv x reader #ravus x reader #final fantasy 15 x reader #ff15 x reader #mine