#i promise it was fun at first okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daisywords · 1 year

Text

The Many House part one • A short story for @inklings-challenge • 3442 words

___________

Lissy was eight and Mary Ellen was ten when the beast came to steal away their baby brother. It was the time of year when summer was just turning to fall, and though the warm days seemed to linger longer than usual that year, the nights began to grow cold in the room they shared in their grandmother’s house.

Lissy, who was nearly as tall as Mary Ellen, felt that her sister was taking up more than her fair share of the quilt. She’d left her feet poking out of the covers when she’d fallen asleep, but now she’d come awake to the sound of skittery branches in the wind and was sure her toes would freeze and fall off if she couldn’t cover them. She tugged at the quilt, but Mary Ellen was wrapped tightly and would not relinquish it, even in her sleep.

Lissy sighed and curled into a fetal position, huddling under the thin sheet and the part of the quilt she was allowed, which covered only half of her. She did not know what time it was, only that the sun had not yet begun to rise. Even so, it was not terribly dark. The bedroom had no blinds or curtains, and the moon hung unusually large and bright through the trees. Its light made the room look like it belonged in an old black-and-white movie, especially since all of the furniture was so old fashioned.

Lissy hunched her knees up even closer to her chest and imagined that she herself was a girl in an old black-and-white movie, with lipstick and a string of pearls. She wondered if grandma had any old clothes anywhere, and if she would let them dress up in them. She wondered if grandma had a pearl necklace, and if she might let her wear it, just around the house, of course.

She tried to close her eyes and let her own daydreams lull her back to sleep, but her eyes felt dry and scratchy and it was uncomfortable to keep them closed. She stared, instead at the cold wooden floor and the white-painted door and the gap underneath, which was wider than it was in their old house. She and Mary Ellen had played a game, before everything, that one of them was a princess locked in a tower and the other was the evil witch, who never let her out or even opened the door, but instead kept her prisoner alive by sliding single slices of bread under the door. Mary Ellen had always wanted to be the princess at first, making Lissy play the ugly witch, but then Lissy had done a funny witch voice and practiced her evil laugh, letting her shrieks echo through the hallway. After that Mary Ellen was always the witch. They had mostly stopped playing that game after Mama scolded Lissy for banging on the door too loudly and had pointed out the black mark she’d left on the paint with her shoe. Also because it was kind of boring to be the princess, especially when Mary Ellen had realized that being the witch meant she could play the computer without Lissy looming over her shoulder.

But in grandma’s house, the gap under the door was wide enough that you could probably slide whole plates full of food under the door, not to mention other things like binders and sandals and Barbie dolls. It was also wide enough that Lissy could see, quite clearly, the shadow of something creeping down the hallway.

She stared for a long moment, after it had passed, and tried to tell herself that it was only Mama going to check on baby Oliver, except that it had made no noise at all. And it was impossible to walk down the upstairs hallway in grandma’s house without making any noise. Lissy knew, because she had tried it. The wooden floor was simply too creaky.

Maybe it had been the shadow of a cloud passing over the moon, she told herself. Or she had dreamed it, like she sometimes did when she woke in the night, even when her eyes were open.

Then she heard, faintly but clearly, Oliver’s laugh from the next room. It was not just a small giggle, either, but a great big belly laugh like when she tickled him. And as she listened, he laughed again, and longer.

Lissy sat up. She hesitated for a moment, then shook Mary Ellen awake. It was not easy, because her sister was not at all a light sleeper. She groaned and thrashed and when Lissy did not leave her alone, she finally squinted her eyes open and hissed “What?”

“I think—” Lissy whispered. “I think something is in Oliver’s room.”

“What are you talking about?” Mary Ellen said blearily.

“I saw something go down the hallway, and then—”

“It was a dream,” said Mary Ellen. “Go back to sleep.”

“No,” Lissy insisted. “Listen.”

Oliver laughed again, and this time, as they strained to listen, both girls could hear a faint sort of singing. The voice sounded dry and papery, like a dead leaf being blown over the sidewalk.

Mary Ellen fumbled for her glasses on the nightstand. Her half-awake hand knocked them off the edge and they bounced once with a sharp sound and slid noisily across the floor.

The singing stopped.

The girls held their breath as one, but the house was only silent, a very full, droning silence. Then Oliver whimpered faintly from the next room, and the spell was broken. Lissy let her bare feet touch the cold floor, and Mary Ellen bent to retrieve her glasses and affixed them crookedly onto her face.

They looked at each other. “We have to go check on him,” whispered Mary Ellen, and Lissy nodded.

They both put their weight onto the floor slowly, but it groaned underneath them anyway. They crept as quietly as they could to the door, Lissy in her polka-dotted nightgown and Mary Ellen in her pink silky pajamas. Mary Ellen turned the doorknob, and Lissy grabbed her other hand and clung to it.

Together they ventured out into the hallway. The moonlight pouring in from the tall window at the end of the hall cast tall, stretched shadows in front of them. Oliver’s door was ajar, and the room was dark. After a shuddery breath, Mary Ellen put a hand out and tapped the door with her palm. It swung open easily and silently.

The room seemed to be empty except for the small wooden dresser, the stained armchair in the corner and, of course, the crib, which stood tall and solid against the left wall. The girls hurried forward to find Oliver safe but awake, his wide brown eyes shining up at them.

As they looked, it seemed as if some kind of spell over him quivered and broke, and all at once he began to cry. Lissy scooped him out of the crib and held him against her chest. She bounced him like Mama did, but he only wailed louder.

Mary Ellen took him from her and held him on her hip, looking very grown-up. “He must be afraid,” she said, and cooed at him soothingly.

“What are you girls doing?” came Mama’s voice. She had appeared in the doorway, looking very faded and tired. She took Oliver from Mary Ellen, and he hiccuped a few times and quieted. “Go back to bed,” she said.

“But Mama, there was something in the room.” said Lissy.

Mama looked around showily. “The only thing I see in here is two girls who are out of their beds,” she said, a bit of heat coming into her voice.

“She thought she saw a shadow in the hallway,” Mary Ellen said loftily. “I told her it was just a dream, but—”

Lissy’s jaw dropped. “You liar,” she hissed. “You heard the singing too, I know you did.”

Mary Ellen glanced at her scornfully and then looked knowingly at Mama.

Mama bounced Oliver a few more times and lowered him back into the crib. “I’m sorry if you had a bad dream, Alyssa. But the last thing I need is for you to come in here and wake up the baby, do you understand?”

Lissy’s eyes welled with tears. “But it wasn’t a dream!” she insisted, stamping her foot.

Mama shushed her, eyes widening. Oliver made a noise from the crib as if he was considering starting to cry again. Mama said nothing, but she grabbed Lissy’s wrist and led her firmly back to the girls’ bedroom, with Mary Ellen following very primly.

“Goodnight,” said Mama, and she closed the door.

Lissy flopped onto the bed and buried her face in the pillow. She hated this pillow. It was too flat, like it couldn’t even withstand the weight of one kid’s head, which was the entire point of a pillow. She hated this bed, which dipped inwards in the middle so that Mary Ellen always rolled towards her in her sleep and Lissy had to keep edging sideways until she came to the very edge. And she hated Mary Ellen, who always stole the covers and was a liar to boot.

She yanked hard on the quilt until it spilled a good two feet over her side of the bed, and held it tightly in two fists when Mary Ellen tried to pull it back.

***

The next day began badly and only got worse. Lissy dug through the entire closet looking for the yellow jumper only to walk into the bathroom and find it on Mary Ellen’s body. Mary Ellen would not take it off, either, even though Lissy needed it because the girls at school were all wearing the rainbow colors in order this week and today was yellow. Mary Ellen told her too bad and that she could wear the ducky sweatshirt.

Lissy hated the ducky sweatshirt. It had been washed so many times that the inside was rough against her skin, and the duck’s face looked up stupidly from her chest with a stain across its dopey beak. She pulled it on over her checkered shorts and shoved her fists deep into the pockets.

She crunched angrily through the dry leaves on the walk down the lane to the bus stop, purposely stomping with each step to get the loudest, most satisfying sound. It felt good to crush things under her feet, and by the time they got to the corner where the other kids were waiting, her eyebrows were furrowed low above her eyes and she was stomping as hard as she could. The boy with the orange backpack looked at her, and she very nearly growled at him.

The morning almost redeemed itself when they each got to plant seeds in halves of plastic water bottles. Lissy patted the dirt down gently and perfectly and wrote her name in careful letters on the plastic. But then Mira and Suzette ignored her at lunch, and Mr. Hade scolded her in front of everyone for reading under the desk, even though she’d already finished her work. At afternoon recess Mira and Suzette said there was only room for three people in the fort and they were already playing with Daniela, even though they said mean things about Daniela all the time.

After school, Lissy dragged her slow feet down the lane to Grandma’s house. She hung her head and tried to look very noble and sorrowful. Mary Ellen didn’t seem to notice. In fact, she ran ahead. What was she so eager to get home for, anyway? Mama wasn’t there. Papa certainly wasn’t there. It was only going to be grandma, who seemed to look on disapprovingly no matter what they did.

And Oliver. When Lissy made it into the house, Mary Ellen was curled up all cozy giving him his bottle. Lissy dropped her backpack on the floor with a thud.

“Hey!” she said. “It’s my turn to feed Oliver!”

“Too bad,” said Mary Ellen.

“Let me have him.”

“No,” Mary Ellen said, sticking out her chin. “He’s already comfortable.”

Oliver, who’s little hand was wrapped tightly around Mary Ellen’s finger, did look incredibly content.

Lissy stared at them together, and something in her belly seemed to curdle. “But it’s my turn,” she insisted.

Mary Ellen shrugged. “You were too slow,” she said. “And he was hungry.” And she gave a little toss of her curls that made Lissy’s vision burn white.

Lissy snatched away the bottle, which popped out of Oliver’s mouth with a sucking noise. He took a sharp, offended breath, and began to scream.

Grandma materialized in the doorway. Her sharp eyes moved from Oliver’s crumpled face to the bottle in Lissy’s hand. “Alyssa!” she said sharply. “What on earth are you doing? You give that bottle back right now!”

“But it’s my turn!” said Lissy, her voice becoming shrill and tight inside her head.

Oliver wailed louder, his face scrunched up into wrinkles of contrasting red and white. Mary Ellen pressed his open mouth against her shoulder and made a grab for the bottle. “Lissy, please give the bottle back,” she said, in a voice that was very very nice, since Grandma was listening.

Lissy threw it. The top popped off and formula sprayed the wall and the carpet and the chair and Mary Ellen’s foot. She made a dash for the doorway, ducking under Grandma’s arm, but Grandma caught her by the wrist and wouldn’t let go. Her grip was very strong for such an old lady.

***

Lissy pretended to be asleep already when Mary Ellen finally came to bed. She stayed curled in a tight ball with her eyes squeezed shut as she felt Mary Ellen kneel and lean her folded arms against the side of the creaky bed to say her prayers. It seemed like she was taking an extra long time, as if to make sure Lissy knew she was extra righteous.

Which was the fakest thing that Lissy had ever heard. Mary Ellen was the one who had started everything, and got off scott free for it. And Lissy had gotten spanked. It hadn’t actually hurt too bad, but it was the indignity of the thing that made her still feel hot thinking about it. What right did Grandma have to spank her? Mama had never done it. And Papa certainly never had. If Papa were here, he would have listened to her.

Mary Ellen climbed into bed and Lissy let her body roll limply towards the weight of her. It seemed to take Mary Ellen longer than usual to get comfortable, and the bedsprings groaned in protest of her every movement. Lissy’s jaw was clenched so tightly that her teeth hurt.

When Lissy was finally almost asleep, Mary Ellen sat up and shook her.

“What?” Lissy huffed, opening her eyes.

Mary Ellen did that thing where she bit down on the insides of her cheeks, folding her lips into a slight pucker. “I think I heard that thing again,” she said. “From last night.”

“Really?” asked Lissy, all anger forgotten.

Mary Ellen nodded solemnly. “We have to go make sure Oliver’s okay,” she said. Her face in the moonlight looked fierce and resolute.

Lissy steeled herself and planted her bare feet on the chilly wood floor. She crept to the door and looked back. Mary Ellen was kneeling on the floor by the bed.

“I can’t find my glasses,” she said. “You go ahead; I’ll be right behind you.”

Lissy took a deep breath and tried to make herself brave. She pushed upwards on the old brass doorknob as she opened the door, which was how she had figured out how to keep it from creaking.

Just as she arrived at Oliver’s door, it swung open and a tall figure emerged from the room. Lissy jumped back in alarm, but it was only Mama.

Mama looked equally surprised to see her. “Alyssa?” she said out loud, and clapped a hand over her own mouth.

Lissy stared up at her, mouth hanging open.

“What are you doing?” Mama whispered.

“I thought—” how could she explain?

Mama’s face hardened. She put a firm hand on Lissy’s shoulder and guided her back down the hallway. “You had better not be trying to wake up your brother again,” she said. “I just got him down.”

“But—”

“Go to sleep,” said Mama firmly, planting Lissy in front of her own door. “And leave Oliver alone.”

Lissy pouted and pushed the door open with her head. Mary Ellen was in bed, looking for all the world like she had been asleep the whole time.

Mama shut the door behind her. She didn’t even say goodnight.

Lissy stomped to the bed. Mary Ellen rolled over, wide awake, and gave her an evil grin.

“You liar!” Lissy hissed, and brought her hand down on her sister’s cheek.

Mary Ellen gasped a little at the slap and clapped her own hand to her cheek. But she said nothing, just smiled again, lips closed, like a snake.

“I hate you!” Lissy said, her eyes burning hot. “I wish you weren’t my sister.” The words felt poison and heavy and at the same time not enough. She tried to think of something else to say, something worse, but could not. Instead she flopped into bed and faced the window so that Mary Ellen could not see her tears.

***

When Mary Ellen shook her awake again, it was the time of night where the hush and the chill hung in suffocating shillness, and the shadows seemed stretched and strange.

She was babbling, continuing to shake Lissy’s arm even as Lissy squirmed away. “It’s real it’s there it’s really there I heard it this time,” she was saying.

“Very funny,” Lissy groaned, and batted her arms away.

“No, I’m serious,” Mary Ellen said. She was pale and wide-eyed. “I’m sorry about before, but please come with me. I know something’s in there.”

Lissy shook her head and buried her head under the quilt. “I’m not that stupid,” she said. “Leave me alone.”

Mary Ellen let out a quiet scream of frustration through her closed teeth and tried to yank the covers off, but Lissy wouldn’t have it.

“Fine,” said Mary Ellen. “I’ll go myself.”

“You do that,” said Lissy, voice muffled.

Mary Ellen’s footsteps sounded across the floor, and the door creaked open. Lissy wondered how long she would go on with this.

It was dark under the quilt, and Lissy’s breathing was loud in her ears and hot on her face. Mary Ellen did not come back.

Lissy freed her head from under the covers and took a breath of cool, fresh air. She sat up. The room was empty, the door wide open. The hallway was bright with moonlight.

It was absolutely silent in the house. Mary Ellen did not come back.

Lissy had been half asleep and grumpy a moment before, but now she felt wide awake, and the room seemed larger and full of shadows. She pulled her knees up to her chest and waited, but Mary Ellen did not come back.

She was probably waiting, hiding behind the door to jump out and scare her. Lissy should just wait her out, not give her the satisfaction. She nodded to herself at the thought even as she found herself out of bed already, already tiptoeing through the door and out into the hallway.

“Mary Ellen?” she whispered. There was no answer.

“Lelly?”

No answer.

Oliver’s door loomed ahead, tall and white, half open. Lissy turned herself sideways and slipped noiselessly through the gap.

Mary Ellen was nowhere to be seen. The room was empty. The crib was empty. But the curious thing was the door. On the far side of the room, where once had been bare wall, was a new door. It matched the rest of the house, painted a weathered white with a brass knob. It stood ajar, looking perfectly unapologetic, inviting, even.

Lissy rubbed her eyes and looked again. The door was still there. It didn’t make any sense. That wall was on the outside of the house. A door there would just lead to a hole overlooking the backyard, right?

There was light coming from the other side. And as she strained her ears to listen, a faint singing, like dry leaves blowing over the sidewalk.

Lissy hugged herself, chilly in her nightgown and bare feet. She imagined Mary Ellen coming to protect her brother, brave and alone, only to be snatched away by the shadow thing from the other side of the door.

“Fine,” she whispered. “I’ll go myself.”

#my writing #inklingschallenge #team chesterton #no imagery yet we'll get there I promise #hopefully I tagged this right #okay so obviously it's not complete but I'm guessing there will be two more parts #lmk what you guys think I am a sucker for comments #would appreciate concrit as well #this is the first time I've written anything contemporary and/or about kids in a long time #forgot how fun that was #weird bc this took me so long to write and such an incredibly short time to proofread #I am determined to finish this if it's the last thing I do

18 notes · View notes

rikyos · 2 years

Text

@ilvaites sent : ✿ / pre-established relationship meme 2.0 ( accepting )

azula

FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other

ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [ from your muses side ] / unrequited [ from my muses side ] / unrequited [ from both sides ] / skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ] / soulmates [ literal ] / awkward / turning toxic / toxic love / cheating [ on your muse ] / cheating [ with your muse ] / other

FAMILIAL. siblings [ half ] / siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure / [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing / [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing / other

ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other

#macy i am #kjhfgd prefacing this with the fact that i. don't know the first thing about atla !!!#but that's okay we will MAKE IT WORK i promise #i'm basing this off ur info and a quick look at her wiki page too but we'll definitely come up with something more solid #just through talking abt them 😭#anyway !!!#i am seeing some similarities between them esp where it concerns coming from a family with big. weighted. expectations #and all of the pressure that comes with that #the difference being that for kazuha that doesn't result in some catastrophic failure on his part but just.#the building sense of incompetence that comes with not being capable / free to do anything about it ?#i also think they deal with that v differently...#so maybe there's something we can do with this !!!!#altho i am also STARING at azula's modern au and i think that it would be fun if i came up with a verse that would be compatible with that..#we'll come up with something good okay #answered tbt.#ilvaites #unrelated side note #i was fully planning on writing up a bsd verse so maybe we can throw yosano or chuuya together with kazu too.....#i just want to read the manga first </3

6 notes · View notes

kimchokejin · 2 years

Text

Tag game 🎶

oh yes. i will become a bts blog again soon i swear

i was tagged by my girl almighty 👑 @cheekyquokka, the so beautiful 💅 @blueside-hobi, and my honey 🍯 @wistfulocean to do this. thanks, you guys are the best <3

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! no skipping!

i did this game once before but ofc you know i can't resist

🔀 Shuffling my (again) new and improved (?) ultimate faves playlist...

i tagged a lot of people last time and that’s literally all i’ve been doing in the last few weeks lol so i will not tag 10...but i will tag @jiminsproof and @sugaggukkie in case they want to or have done it recently and wanna share 💖 and ofc anyone else who sees this and would like to play, just say i tagged you (and give me recs lyric was right i literally always want recs and i will never get over her saying that omg 😭🥰)

#tag: i'm it!#cheekyquokka #blueside-hobi #wistfulocean #sugaggukkie #jiminsproof #okay first of all i'm laughing because the first time i did this i said 'promise i won't be like this with every tag game'#and that wasn't even meant to be a lie #i don't have much to say about these songs tbh aside from...they're good #so instead let me tell you how i overthought this tag game where literally the whole point is to not think about it at all #after spending....uhhhh...i can't even say how long...updating my faves playlist #it's now 4x longer because it started to sound stale and it was missing a lot of ollllld and new new faves #i put it on shuffle once...twice...three times...over. and over. and over. and over.#because 'no the first song has to be fun and upbeat. gotta get the party started'#'oh no too many 2010s hits' 'too many 2000s hits' 'too many pre-2000 hits' 'this playlist sounds like my dad made it'#'too many sad songs i'm not trying to make them cry' 'ugh that's too ~romantic~' 'too much LOOONGing jesus chRIST'#'too much taylor swift' 'too much one direction' 'too much bts' (yes. too much bts. on my fucking bts blog. for other bts fans. lmao)#'i really can't recommend MORE marianas trench can i? i must insist that you HAVE had enough'#'i've recommended too many of these before' 'all these songs sound the same' 'now these songs are too cool for me i feel like a poser'#and that went on for like...an hour...until this shuffle happened and it was too fun not to use :)#so i'm aware that was a complete waste because i'm literally the only person who cares #hahaha ~just little pisces sun virgo moon cap rising things~#but on the bright side i've been listening to the ultimate faves playlist for the past few days and i'm having a GREAT time #so it's all been worth it!

12 notes · View notes

pristine-starlight · 2 years

Photo

*vibrates excitedly*

#due to irl ill only be able to give him a spin next weekend but boy am i excited #first prime i grinded out on my own and hes promising to be FUN #had no luck with the neuroptics for So Long tho and then today it popped up from someone else in a random squad #while i was just grinding for traces/ducats #wonderful luck tho in the end and im v happy #MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!#god i really need to sell that veiled riven tho thisll be my last frame slot #and im also making p okay progress grinding for the entrati to get lavos eventually #fuck it! oversaturates my arsenal with tanks on accident #kata's chatter #space ninja fashion show #lenz also acquired but i had so much else going on today i didnt really get to try it #passively got it to rank20 already tho by just running fissures sndcnhdxnh not even using it #all in all its been a good day #got some nice vaulted prime bits when i was just looking for ducats #got some mods i needed #and a random panzer vulpy while i was trying to fish so now i can also go #think about the details of reviving that after the lavos grind #also cleared a node or two. vor could you kindly fuck off when im doing interception thanks

3 notes · View notes

amber-angel · 2 years

Text

So I was curious... and looked through Taika Waititi's tag... and people will really just hop onto any excuse to turn him into a bad guy, huh?

#stupid flighty bullshit #bro people have been making fun of marvel cgi for years why is it different when he does it #2. this is a list now ive decided anyway 2. he's not transphobic you morons #do you really think vico ortiz. proud nonbinary legend. would silently work with someone transphobic #and circling back to my first point #none of us know what goes on behind the scenes ok?#all we see is the public face that gets presented to us #this could very well have been comments that the animators themselves made #they could have okayed it #if i worked on a marvel movie and got paid shit i would want to make fun of it too #also.. this weird fucking obsession with seeing people be humbled just because they were popular for a while is so weird #like i promise you that it doesnt matter ok? if you dont like that people like taika waititi #log off of tumblr for like two weeks #i guarantee you in that time people will start talking about something else

5 notes · View notes

ihatebnha · 2 years

Note

I COME BACK TO YOU TALKING ABOUT BARBARIAN BAKUGO AND AOHDKABD yeah he’s the guy who’s just almost nakey a lot of the time. Reminds me when i sent my first ask to you and it was barbarian bakugo 😭 im having a brainrot about him again

CAITIEEEEEEE hello beloved :D hru??

omen

OMENNNNN I'VE BEEN MISSING U SO HARD LATELY, where has my baby been? u don't have to be on tumblr ofc but are u taking care of urself??? eating and sleeping????

i would love to talk about nudist bakugo some more but it would take up so much time and space here that i'd rather just save my thoughts... HOWEVER i think i still have ur first ask to me (at least, i never remember deleting it)... so maybe i should find it again and finally give it to the world.

*eyes emoji* dunno!!! but really, i'm glad to see u <333 *pleading eyes @ u*

3 notes · View notes

themirokai · 11 months

Text

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

#went down a rabbit hole #got mad #webnovel #this is a scam #how to ao3 #fan fiction #please spread the word #long post

52K notes · View notes

domesticmail · 7 months

Text

there is a mouse nesting in my chest, making itself a home out of my muscles and bones. a constant thrum of nervous energy commanding all of my attention, my heart beating in harmony with the anxious patter of animal footsteps. it's made a bed between my lungs and i can feel the pressure, each breath shorter, quicker, needier.

it's inescapable. that's why i hate the mouse - not because it exists, or it happens to exist inside me. because no matter what i do, there is still a mouse in my chest. it chews on my ribcage, tiny teeth gnawing on (quite literally) the structure of my life, unaware of my total misery, thinking only of itself.

anyway that's a bit of creative writing about my anxiety. my boyfriend and i haven't spoken in two days and i'm just completely panicking inside but he asked me to give him space so that's what i have to do. i really struggle with being alone while triggered, and leaving an argument unresolved without a clear time to come back around and discuss it is a trigger for me. (that's not my partner's fault, i was not really aware of this previously. i just thought everyone began to spiral and completely panic for days) i am not very good with self-soothing but i've made massive progress recently.

it is really hard for me to drop difficult topics of conversation when they arise because of the way i was raised. i've talked about it on here before but basically from the time i was about 8 to when i was 18 if i got caught doing something i wasn't supposed to, the resulting punishment would always be an hours-long interrogation in my parents' bedroom about WHY i disobeyed them. i think the longest was like six hours. they would keep me there and grill me, telling me i was a horrible role model, a bad older sister, and a bad daughter. they would occasionally call my younger siblings in to explain why i was in trouble, and then have them all tell me one by one their thoughts about whatever i'd done (ranging from not turned in a homework assignment or two to sneaking out one night, etc. stuff i'd consider normal teenager stuff but maybe isn't? idk). i distinctly remember them calling my aunt and my grandparents (separate times) to have them humiliate me. frequently, i would cry so hard for so long i would begin to hyperventilate and my mom would call me disgusting, saying she hated the way i sounded while i cried. eventually i learned to just go completely numb to all of it, but they hated that, too, and would say i looked smug and self-righteous. i held up being completely stoic for a while and then one day, i just broke. i thought to myself, they're just going to do this to me forever, and they keep acting like i'm talking back to them anyway. they berate me for not standing up to them and just being quiet, so FUCK them i'll just be mean back." that obviously didn't work either but it felt better than the first two, so it persisted until my sister attempted suicide. i never acted out of line after that, because i figured i needed to take care of my youngest siblings, and i could only do that if my parents trusted me.

and throughout all of this, i was NEVER allowed to leave a punishment, to take a break, etc. they endured until i met some arbitrary criteria for being punished, and then i could go back to my room.

so i'm accustomed to just dealing with it the first time, and moving on. i hate waffling around the issue. being direct and respectful is very freeing, you have the ability to say what you want and address issues that may be really contentious or upsetting with someone you love and still feel comfortable with them. i am working towards this, i think the ability to stay totally calm and civil in a disagreement would be a really nice skill to have. you could talk about anything!

however currently i'm not quite there. i am very reactive, especially so when i'm triggered. it's really hard for me to pause during arguments, i get so anxious because i don't know what's going to happen, and i WANT there to be a resolution. i WANT to finish the conversation and come to the end of this issue, whatever it is. but it is completely out of my control right now, which infuriates me. i need to work on my emotional regulation.

i really want to take up some sort of martial art for this. i have all this expendable energy in the form of anxiety and a reasonable amount of free time. i've been interested in it from a young age but i've done absolutely nothing athletic for like four years. (to give you a rough idea of how much i exercise - i go on probably four walks a week. up to one a day. there's a pull up bar in our apartment [OW, saying that hurts, 'our' feels like such a bite now] that i use. when we first got it i could do two; now i can do five!)

i am also 5'3 and 95 lbs. so i'm too small to compete. but i feel like a. i don't want to compete i want to be strong and badass and b. i gained 12 lbs when i went to college, if i could do it once i can do it again. also my doctor would probably be pretty happy.

but anyways! that's where i'm at. boyfriend is sleeping on the couch of his own volition, so, whatever, i guess. going into another day of not talking. i'm not reaching out to him because he told me, specifically, to leave him alone, but the longer it goes the worse i feel about the whole thing. there's nothing i can do, though, because any sort of reaching out is crossing his boundary.

it just sucks to feel this way. i wish he would tell me when we could talk again, instead of just icing me out completely. then i could at least push it out of my mind for a while.

i don't want to stop writing. if i stop writing i have to go to bed, and if i go to bed the night will pass so fast and then i'll be awake tomorrow and having to face another day so soon. i want to stay curled up in our (OW!) bed forever. i don't want to have to worry about him breaking up with me.

(also it's kinda funny i'm worried because like he broke up with me once already. for a week. and i lived through it. like, shouldn't i be mentally prepared for this?)

at this point i'm just rambling. it feels good though. i feel like i'm draining my brain into this post - blaaaghhhh here are all my insecurities blablablablaaaaaagghhhh!!!

i hate my job. i hate customer service. even though i got tipped (tipped!! for working front desk!!) $30 last week. being good at it doesn't make me any happier. i want to be fulfilled by it and i am so. not. however i am still getting my degree so that's basically my one option.

my mom mentioned a certification i'm going to look into, she said it's useful for finding work in the field. i think i'm going to switch my major; i just really want to go into project management. i know that might sound stupid but genuinely i think it's such an interesting field and i would be so happy to manage projects and teams and put together decks

#personal #i'm sure anyone in the project management field is probably laughing at me for thinking it'll be fun #i know it won't be but who cares i will enjoy it anyway!#don't know what i'm going to do about bf. well i do but i'm not happy about it. just going to keep leaving him alone.#even if it means i'm alone. that just means i need a friend #i tried to expand my horizons and hang out with a girl who invited me from instagram which went okay. and then a different girl #invited me to hang out on snap and i was like ok well second try i guess! and it went poorly again #personally i just didn't vibe with either of them. i also met them both with their other friends who i was also meeting for the first time.#either way i miss having tumblr mutuals. my old moots from the early days of my account kept me sane #if you're looking for a friend reach out! :)#i like to talk about anything but particularly philosophy chess writing art and music #not in that order #(sorry for lack of commas in that list)#i also just finished watching VEEP. so fucking funny #i watched succession and loved it #i play a lot of Rimworld and Barony in my free time #if you like this stuff we should be mutuals!! you won't regret it i promise #anyways tws incoming #tw suicide mention #tw weight mention #tw verbal abuse #tw child abuse

1 note · View note

luveline · 8 months

Note

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 —send me a shy!reader request for any character (with a plot) and I'll write a >1k drabble

sirius/james introducing shy!reader to remus. and shes just like quiet and in awe, but remus loves it.

luveline's 40k party ☆ tysm for requesting! remus x shy fem!reader

James is used to your personality after months of being your lecture neighbour, unperturbed by your quiet. "It's going to be fun," he promises, handing you a cold glass of cranberry vodka. "They're nice, okay? I won't let anyone irritate you."

He's hosting a party and had the generosity to invite you round early. He's easing you in, so to speak. It took him two weeks of steady Hellos for you to work up the courage to say Hi back, another two weeks for small talk, a month before you felt comfortable speaking to him first. If you're that shy, a party is basically torture.

"It's not about irritating me," you say.

"I know, I'm messing." James lists his head to the left. A second later, there's a knock at the door. "Aha. Wait here, shortcake, there's someone I want you to meet."

"James," you say after him, wet from your glass leaking down to your sleeve, "what?"

"I asked him to come early and say hello! He's quiet and handsome and you'll love him, just don't stare at his nose."

What's wrong with his nose? you think, alarmed.

James opens the door. Two new voices emerge, one scratchy and a little high, the other smoother. "I need to pee so bad," the scratchy one declares, followed by bounding footsteps up the stairs.

"You alright?" the smoother asks.

You think there's patting, a hug, "I'm brilliant! You smell really nice, Remus, like a garden."

"Lovely."

"In a good way! Come and meet my Y/N, you remember I told you about her nice gel pens?"

James leads the smooth-voiced Remus into the living room. You hurriedly put down your drink and stand, wiping your wet hands in your shirt. You cringe at the darkening fabric but hide your grimace as they stop in front of you.

"Remus, Y/N. Y/N, Remus," James introduces you both.

Remus has a scar across his nose that seems cruelly cut. There's another beside it that starts in his upper lip, both of which end in his eyebrow. You know how self-conscious it feels to be looked at, so you manage to smile and offer your hand without too much of it. He's handsome with his scars, a nice nose with a ridge and brown eyes the colour of caramelised sugar.

"Hello," Remus says, shaking your hand. His is big enough to make yours feel small.

"I invited her early because she's more fun than the rest of our lot," James says, throwing himself down on the sofa and kicking his legs out on the coffee table.

Remus taps your elbow very gently as if to usher you to sit and sits down beside you, enough space to be casual but too little to stop the rampant nerves that blossom in your stomach.

Remus asks about your life. What you're studying, where you're from, if James is being nice to you. While James is touchy in the rough older brother way, scrunching your shoulder and shaking you when you're not expecting it. Remus is touchy in a different way, you find, almost as if he doesn't know he's doing it. His shoe bumps your shoe, his hand falls down between his outer thigh and your own, his knuckles touching your jeans very lightly. He spins in his seat to talk to you.

You don't notice other people arriving, nor the scratchy-voiced friends return. All you can do is look up at Remus with wide eyes. Your nerves meld to something warmer.

"And what do you do?" you ask him.

He smiles like you've wandered into a secret. "I'm trying to write a book."

"He's being a bit much," Sirius says to James, the two now loitering in the doorway with matching beers. You and Remus chatter on, unaware of their running commentary.

"It's a very strong reaction. I knew she'd like him, but I didn't think she'd like him like that." James takes a sip of his drink. Remus asks you a quiet question. You duck your head, playing with your sleeves, and Remus, the bastard, ducks his head to follow your gaze, smiling at you all the while.

James almost chokes, pointing his bottle toward you both as though Sirius isn't already looking. "He's eating it up. I forgot how flirty he is."

"She'll be nice to him, won't she?" Sirius asks, like it's a done deal. To be fair, Remus seems enthralled with you.

"Definitely. She's very nice. Oh, look, that's sick, she's gonna pass out." James winces as Remus takes your arm into his hand.

Remus wouldn't do anything cruel, but James wasn't joking when he told Remus that you were exceedingly, achingly shy. He's about to step in and rescue you, but you turn into Remus' touch and pull your leg up on the sofa to make yourself comfortable. Your voice is animated, if quieter than the average person's.

"Woah," James says, beaming.

Remus flirts almost as a defence, like he wants to get the rejection over and done with so he can move on. You've yet to reject; you're looking up at him in moderate awe, your lips quirked into an easy smile.

"Boo!" James calls, flicking his bottle cap at Remus, who brushes it away. "Took me three weeks to get a smile out of her," he mutters. "What a dick."

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #marauders era #remus x reader #remus x you #marauders #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin blurb #marauders x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #the marauders #luveline's 40k party

10K notes · View notes