#i put the character because this one is different than the one from xingchen's name

[neuxue]

Hi, neuxue......If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in MXTX works? Whether it’s a final boss like Jun Wu or more of a side character like Xue Yang. (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....

If I don't mind??? If I don't mind? Please, my friend, you give me an opportunity to talk about favourite villains and I am yours for as long as you'll listen.

Not going to attempt to order them so we'll just go by story:

CQL

Xue Yang - characters who don't realise what they want, or that they've found a way to have it, until the moment when they destroy it!! Who destroy it because on some level they don't truly believe they can have it at all, and because it's easier to lose something when you can convince yourself you were always going to, and that it was your own choice. The whole time-bomb of Yi City just wrecks me.

I'm also generally here for his brand of competence and mercuriality - the knife-edged playfulness that doesn't quite mask a deeper darkness, the tendency to dance just a little too close to the edge with the particular carefree abandon of one who cannot imagine living beyond youth.

Finally... oh man do I even want to try to articulate this? So, he has several traits that often get used as a shorthand for not just ‘evil’ but ‘inherently evil’. Which... frustrates me. But with Xue Yang... yes, he's cast as a villain and yes he loses everything and yes he dies alone and unmourned... but there's a sense of 'it didn't have to go this way'. If the cart driver had been kinder; if his capability had been put to some use other than ‘weapon’. Or that moment in Yi City where he seems to delight just as much in cheating at a silly game of choosing sticks as he does in tricking Xiao Xingchen into killing people. This idea that there could have been another path. (And also, via Yi City, that he is not... inherently unlovable). His story ends in tragedy, but it’s not framed, at least the way I (choose to) read it, as ‘your story can only end in tragedy, because of the way you are’. It gives the option to read it as ‘you are not inherently monstrous’.

(Which then almost feeds back into the tragedy of the first point, because it’s only there in a kind of meta sense: Xue Yang himself? only ever receives the you are a weapon, you are a monster, that is all you can be side of it. Oh man okay I’ll stop here before I get pulled into a whole essay on this because suddenly I want to).

Jin Guangyao - I love a schemer! I love a pragmatist! I love ruthless competence beneath an inscrutable smile! I love characters who will tolerate nothing less than absolute perfection in themselves because they have learned the hard way that it’s the only possible way to survive. Characters who are not exempt from their own ruthlessness, their own cost-benefit analysis. Characters who have learned from their world that happiness must be sacrificed at the altar of survival, and who will do so with heartbreak but without hesitation when necessary. The only way is forward; to look back is to fail, but the irony is they can still never outrun their pasts.

Also he’s another one where there’s such a sense of it didn’t have to end this way. So many points at which things could have been different, so many alternate versions in which his capability could have been channelled towards a different goal, if the goal carved into his bones didn’t have to be survive, in a world that will try to make that impossible. 

I love villains and antagonists of all stripes and moralities, but in this instance what I love is a character who doesn’t want to be a villain, doesn’t want their hands stained with blood, doesn’t want to hurt those they love... but they do not see a choice. 

Wen Zhuliu - he’s highly competent and wears fingerless gloves; what more do you want from me?

Honestly though, he fascinates me. In part it’s the fact that we just don’t get much interiority to him, and only one exchange of dialogue that really suggests his motives, but we also get these little moments, that collectively build this sense of a kind of... lawful neutral, I suppose? Not even villain-by-necessity so much as villain-by-...debt? loyalty? But he also so clearly has such a strong sense of honour, and I just love trying to reconcile all of those pieces into a cohesive whole. 

The other thing that really gets me about him is his extraordinary power and how it’s regarded - especially when juxtaposed with Wei Wuxian’s. In both cases you have a single individual who holds a terrifying and mostly unique power that threatens or pushes the boundaries of their whole society and world. Wei Wuxian commands ghosts without a sword; Wen Zhuliu can extinguish someone’s power with his hands. But, crucially, the difference between them seems to be... that Wei Wuxian is a wildcard; Wen Zhuliu is leashed. And so I have to wonder once again at the strength of that leash, and at what would happen if Wen Zhuliu, like Wei Wuxian, decided to rebel. And in that whole question lives in this really interesting space of... what is it people truly fear? The power? The wielder? That person’s ability to choose? The uncertainty of what they will choose? The possibility of them realising they can?

***

TGCF

He Xuan - I mean the theme here obviously is competence, and He Xuan has a killer aesthetic to go with it, but mostly it’s just... the way his whole character is an exploration of revenge, and the line between vengeance and justice, and the question inherent in the irony of... throwing away the very thing you wanted vengeance for, in order to exact that vengeance.

(And also the whole cycle-of-revenge in doing unto another what was once done unto you, in the process of exacting that vengeance).

I’m just. Unbelievably here for a good betrayal story, and this one has it all! The intimacy! The self-betrayal! The emptiness and hunger!

And while with Xue Yang I love that moment of realising what he wants, or what he’s losing, only in the moment when he destroys it... with He Xuan what I love is that he goes into this, in so many ways, knowing what he’s doing. This is not spontaneity; this is the ultimate premeditation. He knows what he has, in his guise as a heavenly official. He knows, intimately, the person he is betraying. He has given great thought to the how of that betrayal. 

(Is it worth it, in the end?)

(After all, he’s still here)

Bai Wuxiang - one of the dynamics that will wreck me pretty much every time is what I like to call ‘intimate enemies’. Enemies-to-lovers can fit under that umbrella, but it’s a broader umbrella than just that. The idea of characters who (either one-sided or reciprocally) know each other so deeply, and can wield that knowledge to wound. The awful gentleness and precision of holding a knife to the core of someone’s identity. 

That, plus the identity fuckery in general. The way Bai Wuxiang frames himself as Xie Lian’s mirror, and the way he then reflects and warps and tugs at those pieces of Xie Lian’s self and name and will, trying to shape them in his image, but so gently. The way he talks to Xie Lian! The way he strokes his hair as he stabs him! It’s just so much, okay!

So yeah, a lot of it is that I’m just very into the highkey fucked-up dynamic he has with Xie Lian. But also Bai Wuxiang’s own story hits me in a kind of... if you’ll forgive a Wheel of Time reference: betrayer-of-hope betrayed-by-hope kind of way. That he tried so hard once, only for it to fall to ruin in his hands, and now he watches another try (and fail!) as he once did. And the way he seems to, in trying to mould Xie Lian’s present to his own past, be searching for a kind of... vindication? A confirmation of that inevitability? That of course he failed, that he could never have succeeded, because this is the nature of humanity, and it is not worth saving, and so his attempts weren’t failure. 

But the thing with that is: it’s a lose-lose situation. If he succeeds and Xie Lian fails, yes, it gives him that sense of ‘there was never another way, and no point trying to find one’ but is that really... winning? Is finding vindication in despair truly a success? And yet if he fails and Xie Lian succeeds, then does that not also feel like a sword to the heart: that it wasn’t inevitable, and that means he has to come to terms with his own failure and the heartbreak it wrought?

#this also begs the question of 'what counts as a villian' #to which the answer in these stories is: it depends on where you're standing #tgcf #the untamed #asks #thanad-zid #i need a better villains tag

[spockandawe]

“I don’t fear death, I fear boredom.”

This is such an interesting addition to Xue Yang’s character. Because if three years of domesticity with Xue Xingchen and A-Qing isn’t boredom, then what is?

And it’s not like it was the most comfortable domesticity either. They stumble their way into an abandoned house that’s in dire need of repairs, where A-Qing isn’t even able to sleep in a proper bed, she sleeps in a coffin. They’re getting by, but they’re not prosperous. It isn’t like their particular domesticity was like the other major characters we see. They didn’t get to lounge around Lotus Pier or Koi Tower, at the top of the pecking order. They’re past the point where A-Qing is when we meet her, getting by as a beggar/scam artist, but not by much.

But Xue Yang did three years of that, and he didn’t choose to abandon it, he was backed into a corner by Song Lan’s arrival. And then, even though he fell into old murdery habits, he took action to preserve the quiet domestic life he had. If it wasn’t for A-Qing, he seemed like he would have just stepped right back into the old, comfortable routine without any fuss at all. He wasn’t itching for a chance to shake things up and make things interesting again. He killed Song Lan and went straight to grumbling about who was going to run dull errands (and putting up hardly any resistance before agreeing to run the errands himself).

So if three years of quiet, poor domesticity isn’t boredom, then what is? I could see him making a private joke out of playing at living that life, like it’s a game where he’s tricking everyone. But then it lasted for three years. Winters can’t have been pleasant in a house like the one they were living in, and he went through three. 

There’s a lot to be said about the degree he found Xiao Xingchen fascinating, of course. And for things to last so long and get so affectionate, it was a lot more complicated and wanting than ‘oh, this is my nemesis, i’m going to break his spirit eventually or something.’ But I’ve already talked a decent amount about how he felt about Xiao Xingchen, and this line about boredom in particular is interesting to me.

Xue Yang rejects the idea of boredom, until he embraces it later. Given the way he starts tossing fuel on the fire when Xiao Xingchen realizes what’s happening, I think he’s aware that by his old standards, the life he’s been choosing to live is boring.

Xiao Xingchen, “Just what do you want to do, having stayed with me for all these years?”

Xue Yang, “Who knows? Maybe I’m bored.”

Xue Yang had a childhood with “no parents or money.” The incident where he’s exploited with promises of sweets and eventually gets his hand crushed and loses a finger is incredibly formative. Everything he chooses to share from that history is incredibly formative, honestly. So I think that his definition of ‘boredom’ is tied right into that childhood.

“The child really liked eating sweet things. But because he had no parents or money, he could rarely eat them. One day, the same as any other day, he was sitting zoned-out on a flight of stairs. Opposite to the stairs, there was a liquor shop. A man sat on a table inside of the shop. As he saw the child, he gestured for him to go over.”

[...]

“Being naive and puzzled, the child had nothing to do anyways. He saw someone wave at him, and immediately ran over. ”

When he rejects boredom, I think he’s taking his own background into account. He’s got no family. He’s got no money. He’s got nothing to do. He’d rather die than go back to living that sort of life.

Now, he settles down with Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing. They still don’t have much in the way of money. He doesn’t have anything to do, other than tag along when Xiao Xingchen goes night-hunting. So what’s the factor that’s changed?

He’s got someone who loves him and wants to take care of him. From the moment he’s awake enough to know Xiao Xingchen is there, Xiao Xingchen is caring for his wounds and helping him and isn’t asking anything in return, not even his name. And having someone who treats him this way? Having someone who values and wants him? That makes the difference between ‘I don’t fear death, I fear boredom,’ and ‘Actually, I really like this flavor of boredom and I will kill to hold onto it.’ 

#xue yang #the untamed #xuexiao

[tangledinmdzs]

always yours - yi city mdzs characters hcs

the last of the best friend series head canons!

this is a modern version (stay tuned for a different version (v^ー°) )

»»——⍟——««

Xiao Xingchen

stepping into high school, you’ve always felt out of your depth

both from the pressure of moving to a new town and entering another stage of education in your life

it was kind of intimidating

mildly stressful

and you know it shouldn’t be much of a bother to try and fit in and find your crowd

because good things take time (as your parents have reminded you)

and that you were such a lovable person, so

who wouldn’t want to be your friend?

but it still didn’t change the fact that it was hard, nonetheless

luckily, when you’re kind of floating about in between the crowds of people and laughter in the first lunch of your first year, see an empty seat for you to snag

considering how crowded the lunch room was, you feel quite proud of yourself

so you sit down at the spot without a second thought

not even realizing that the seat in front of your empty one was occupied

you’re digging heartily, halfway through your sandwich, when you realize that someone is looking at you

and that’s when you meet Xingchen, immediately humored by your enthusiasm with food 

definitely not one of your best first impressions

but it’s surely something that sticks

because aside from finding out that you both are in the same grade, you both have a plethora of classes together as well

and it becomes easy for you to find a familiar face to gravitate to in your classes

throughout the year

he’s the person that saves you a seat in the cafeteria whenever the teacher from the previous class lets you out late

you’re the person that shares your notes with him in class so that you both can be caught up

you’re each other’s first choice as partners

and it’s so so easy being friends with someone as lovely and wonderful as Xingchen

and he’s so great in everything

from his smarts

to his genuine kindness

and you know that he deserves the world

which is why

your world comes to a halting stop

when Xiao Xingchen is suddenly blinded after an accident

luckily he’s not fully blind

but his vision is heavily impaired 

and you know that your high school is not the right environment for him safety and social wise

you know it is for the best that his parents are making plans to find a better accommodating school for him

but...

he’s your only, truest, friend, 

and it’s only been a short while since you both have met

but you can’t imagine going through the last remaining two years high school without 

and as you sit next to his hospital bed, feel his warm hand clutch yours

you think that 

he feels the same

»»——⍟——««

A-Qing

you meet A-Qing as you’re helping Xiao Xingchen around the your high school, helping him to orient in an old place through a new perspective

you can’t lie and say that it’s not frustrating

but Xingchen’s always been more patient than you

even now, 

when you were supposed to be helping him

it saddens you sometimes

when you can’t be of more help to him than you currently are

“i think this would be pretty useful,” 

both you and Xingchen startle at the voice that talks to you both

your eyes find a young girl, probably a freshman, staring up at you

her hand holds out a small foldable stick

“it’s a white cane, it’ll help him feel out the floor better than you saying ‘watch out’ every other minute” the girl notes

“he can still see,” you try to correct, because everyone nowadays just assumes that Xingchen is fully blind... and he just accepts it like he accepts everything in his life-

“oh, i’ve never tried a cane before. i think that could be of help,” Xingchen says in his quiet voice, he turns to you though not fully enough to meet your eyes staring at him

you’ve gotten more used to his profile than his full face as of recently

“can you give it to me, y/n” Xingchen asks you, 

and he’s using that voice with you

the ‘be patient, let’s try it’ voice

you manage a stiff nod at the girl, and take the white cane from her and open it from Xingchen

we you place the handle that he’s supposed to hold in his palm, Xingchen as polite as ever says,

“thank you... um...”

“A-Qing,” the girl finally introduces and then turns to you, a half smile on her face

“and you’re y/n,” the young girl parrots from what she heard before

you nod at her, a small ‘thank you’ coming from you too

‘it’s no problem. my grandma is blind so i understand you too,” A-Qing says 

at that, you realize, that it would be good to befriend someone that has experience in helping visually impaired people

because you wanted to learn how to help Xingchen better

you friendship starts from Xingchen’s hardships

but as you three spend more time together,

the difficulties of his life lessen

especially with A-Qing’s support

you two become his two closest friends

and A-Qing morphs more into a little sister to you

because for all of her knowledge with Xingchen’s situation, she was still very very new to the high school situation

so she relied on your guidance (in that aspect) as much as you relied on her to help you help Xingchen

but you three come together like a sandwich

and all is well

until your third year of high school

when trouble comes in the form of a human person

»»——⍟——««

Xue Yang 

trouble goes by the name of Xue Yang

your high school is relatively medium sized so you think that if you haven’t met everyone yet at least you know of most people

but 

when you walk into the hallway at the sight of someone taunting Xingchen, you can’t help the way your blood boils

A-Qing is still young,

and the boy that’s flicking and pushing at Xingchen’s calm shoulder looks to be about your age, an junior

you’re about to intervene when you’re surprised at Xingchen’s quick handed grasp of the man’s hand when it lands on his chest for the third (and final time)

Xingchen holds the wrist tightly

and you remember that before, a short while ago, Xingchen used to do material arts after school

he probably never forgot his instincts, having practiced for so many years

“what do you think you’re doing?” 

at the sound of your voice, the boy spares you a glance, 

and then you give a short sigh under your breath

because it was Xue Yang

it was always Xue Yang

“just chatting with your boyfriend, y/n. no need to go all mama bird” Xue Yang teases and takes his hand roughly out of Xingchen’s grasp

“he’s not my boyfriend,” you correct Xue Yang, going up to Xingchen’s side to stare Xue Yang down

Xue Yang laughs, humorlessly 

“you sure about that? because i think you’re probably babying him even more than his real mother,” and you really want to land a good fist to Xue Yang’s face

but Xingchen’s true testament to your friendship is that he just knows you well enough to reach a hand out and hold your wrist, hold you back from doing anything rash

because your little convo with Xue Yang had already grabbed enough of a crowd

you let Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing lead you away, though you manage to spare a long glare at Xue Yang before he fully leaves your sight

from then on, you all try to avoid Xue Yang as best as you can

and you stay closer to A-Qing and Xiao Xingchen

because it seems like you’re Xue Yang repellent

he only bothers the other two when you’re not within the vicinity 

and you don’t dare think that Xue Yang is scared of you (Xue Yang isn’t scared of anything)

but it’s a little blessing that you’re grateful for

you don’t want anyone making Xingchen’s life harder than it already was

and you think that you can get through the last few months of junior year without trouble

well you hope

but one memorable time that trouble visits you

is in the turn spring

right before you you’re about to finish your junior year (practically already a senior in high school)

Xue Yang catches your arm when you’re on your way out of school after your free block

drags you to the bleachers despite your protests 

you glare at him, 

he stares at you, sighs

“what?” you ask

“you don’t care about anything that has to do with us do you?”

you sigh as you lean your back on the edges of the bleacher seats

“why do you put your friends before us all the time?”

“because he needs me-”

“more than i do?”

Xue Yang’s question surprises you, slightly

but you regain your composure quickly

“talk to me again when you learn that a relationship has friends and partners,

not everything in life is about you” 

and that’s the final time you talk to him

»»——⍟——««

Song Lan

Song Lan comes back into your life as abruptly as he had left it

he had always been more of Xingchen’s friend than yours

you remember him being introduced to you as the quiet, barely smiling but loyal friend that Xingchen knew from way back

he and you never talked much

but he talked a lot with Xingchen

and you could tell that the both of them were close

they made each other happy

which was why his abrupt exit from high school

at the time where Xingchen needed him the most

was difficult for you to understand

though at the same time

his departure gave you a better chance to prove your friendship to Xingchen

to be the person that was there for him when it seemed like no one was

and you think that the chapter of old friendships had closed when you graduated high school

so you didn’t think you’d ever see Song Lan again

let alone, see him in your second year of college in the middle of your campus walk with Xingchen’s arm linked with yours 

“y/n? why’d you stop? we’re going to be late for class”

and now, with Xingchen fully blind

you were somewhat the eyes for him when it came to new places and people

A-Qing was still in her final year of high school, already planning on following your footsteps and applying to the same college as you guys

so it was all left to you

how do you explain to XIngchen that you just saw his best friend that had left him in high school all those years ago without so much as a goodbye?

should you even let him know?

luckily, you don’t have to make the choice

when Song Lan turns and walks away immediately, not looking back

“it’s nothing, i was just startled when a squirrel ran past,” you lie to Xingchen

and continue walking on the path that you both are on

but Xingchen knows you better than yourself

and he can tell that your grip around his arm is a bit tighter than before

but he doesn’t mention anything

~~~

fate would have it that that was not the last encounter that you have with Song Lan

and the next time you do see him, you don’t let him off the hook so easily

“where did you go? how are you here now?” you ask him, when you manage to latch onto his arm at the small campus cafe 

he takes his wrist out of your grasp easily

though his face looks slightly more expressive than you remember he used to be

“how’s Xingchen?” he counters with you and you huff out an exasperated laugh

“you wouldn’t need to ask me that if you had been there for us,” you find yourself saying

because you can still remember, vividly

the first few weeks of Xingchen’s blindness

his embarrassment towards you where you know he wouldn’t have been with Song Lan

and how much he missed him

“do you... do you think i can see him?” Song Lan asks, a beat after your heavy comment

you truly wonder what Xiao Xingchen would have to say to this

because you may be his best friend

but you can’t make his decisions for him

“i don’t know, why don’t you ask him,” you tell Song Lan, then tilt your head

when Song Lan turns around, he sees the person who he’s looking for right away

Xiao Xingchen is hard to miss

Song Lan stares

now it all comes down to, whether or not he would take the first step to him or not

#mdzs headcanons #mdzs #mdzs headcanon #mdzs character headcanons #mdzs yi city arch #mdzs yi city characters #mdzs reaction #mdzs reactions #mdzs scenarios #mdzs scenario #mdzs imagines #mdzs imagine #mdzs reader #mdzs x reader #mdzs x y/n #mdzs xxc #mdzs reader insert #mdzs reader inserts #mdzs self insert #mdzs self inserts #mdzs xxc x reader #mdzs a qing x reader #mdzs xue yang x reader #mdzs song lan x reader #xxc x reader #a qing #a qing x reader #xue yang x reader #song lan x reader #mdzs song lan

[yiling]

So, in the tags on this post about Song Lan and Xue Yang, I put something about how I think that in some ways, Xue Yang has more in common with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan than they do with each other. And @veliseraptor expressed interest in this in her tags, and I’m in a meta mood I guess, so here’s me pulling that statement apart a little more:

Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang: I think this is the more obvious one, the comparison the narrative invites you to make. XXC and XY are each other’s opposite, in color scheme, in temperament, in actions, and that binds them together. I think the key here is that they’re both the kind of person that others don’t see as being fully human - Xiao Xingchen because he is unnaturally Pure And Good, and Xue Yang because he is unnaturally Bad And Evil. In both those cases, that’s not all they are, and the story goes to great lengths to show that they are people, and that not being perceived as such was really not great for them. Xiao Xingchen is tired of being treated like he’s made of moonlight and Xue Yang is tired of being treated like a rabid animal, and making each other feel like people is what lets them become close. (Xue Yang makes Xingchen laugh! Xingchen gets Xue Yang candy! It’s all very cute.)

Relatedly, they’re both rootless wanderers, disconnected from wider humanity because they don’t really have places or families in the way polite cultivator society expects you to. (Compare Song Lan, who does have a home to go back to before Xue Yang destroys it.) Xingchen has Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, which he cannot return to and which is treated basically as being on another plane of existence, and Xue Yang has nothing but the back alleys of Kuizhou. They’re a little bit too happy with playing house in their city of corpses, and I think it’s because something as mundane as a home, something small and simple and safe, is a novelty to them. They both ultimately just want a place, and someone who cares about them. (Of course, Xue Yang is actively sabotaging it, but he never had a good thing long enough to recognize what one was). 

Song Lan and Xue Yang: This is more speculative because we really don’t get that much Song Lan and he is very quiet, but there are definitely parallels between the two of them that they don’t have with Xingchen. Obviously they’re nothing alike in, you know, morality, and they’re very different in demeanor, but they’ve got some similar personality traits: proud, prickly, quick to anger and slow to trust, will never forget a slight. Not really fans of other people, with a single, cherished exception. Big fans of Vengeance, even if it gets in the way of their other goals: remember, Song Lan chose to confront Xue Yang before he spoke to Xiao Xingchen, the man he’d been looking for for literal years! Liable to say the worst, cruelest thing in the heat of the moment, and then regret the consequences. 

They also both have Being In Love With Xiao Xingchen as a major character trait. Like, I joke, but it’s a big thing for them! I think they both have him up on a pedestal, as like an avatar of goodness and kindness and justice. They treat that very differently - Song Lan by treating him as a paragon, and Xue Yang by trying to drag Xingchen down to his level, but they’re both shocked and angry when Xingchen doesn’t live up to their perception by acting like a human being with flaws and feelings. I think they’re both kind of frustrated by Xingchen in general, actually! Because even though they see him more as a human than the public does, they still look at him and think - How can you be so fair and kind? Don’t you understand what the world is like? Don’t you know you can’t act that way?

That’s the other thing they have in common with each other, that Xingchen does not share: they’ve both had to live in the world, and they know what a shitty place it can be. They know that most other people are assholes who can’t be trusted, who want to hurt you. Song Lan and Xue Yang are both captivated by Xingchen because Xingchen doesn’t see the world that way, and will do things like try to bring a killer to justice at all costs even though it would be simpler to just cut his throat, or rescue an injured man by the side of the road and not even ask for his name in return. But they both have a hard time really understanding him because the people of the mortal world just don’t act that way, and that is what Song Lan and Xue Yang are. Song Lan can’t square Xingchen-the-bright-moon-and-gentle-breeze with Xingchen who slipped up and let Xue Yang enact his horrible revenge. Xue Yang can’t square his unfailingly kind and forbearing Xingchen-daozhang with the man who cries and calls him disgusting. They can’t hold Xingchen’s goodness and Xingchen’s humanity in their hearts at the same time. In the end, neither of them fully see past the moonlight, and it brings them all to so much grief.

Oh, and both Song Lan and Xue Yang carried what was left of the man they loved, his soul and his sword, with them, for however long they had left :)

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #xuexiao #songxiao #songxue #songxuexiao #xiao xingchen #xue yang #song lan #mine #WHEW this ended up BIG #i was like 'oh i'll bang this out real quick' #and here i sit 700 words later #for the record the thing all three of them have in common is their lack of regard for social norms and niceties and the sect system #which lets their little drama play out in the margins of cultivator society because at the end of the day no one cares who they are #don't mind me i'm still thinking about that theoppositeofprofound meta...

[silvysartfulness]

xiao xingchen's mental state is So Terrible

Request: Can we see Xiao Xingchen’s thoughts on near suicide? Abandonment? Betrayal? He’s defined himself by other people for most of his life - his master, his totally-not-soulmate Song Lan, and his murder-soulmate Xue Yang. To be left by one person and then to be betrayed by another must be … a lot. Does Xingchen think he betrayed Song Lan because Xue Yang killed Song Lan’s people?  He hasn’t had any time to deal with it, because he’s been playing babysitter… and then saving his pet murderer, too.  Because I’ve put a lot of thought into this, but my writing skills are about 0, and you are so good at angst.

Okay! I’ll just… stream of consciousness on this. Because there is a lot to say about Xiao Xingchen’s mental state, his sacrifices, his losses and his choices.

There’s definitely a lot of touching on these issues currently in Heaven Has A Road. The callback to Xiao Xingchen’s suicide, and the way both Xue Yang and Song Lan fear the worst when he takes off on his own.

The kicker is that Xiao Xingchen himself doesn’t realize. Doesn’t realize that they worry about that, or why they would. He may still be very much prone to self-sacrificial and reckless decisions for the sake of others, but he’s not actively suicidal or seeking to self-harm now, at least not in such a direct and physical way.

But of course it’s a theme very much hanging in the air.

To look back at canon; Xiao Xingchen is, I think, naive even by Celestial Mountain standards. The previous two of Baoshan Sanren’s disciples who left the mountain either went dark (it’s just vaguely hinted at, but clearly it Was Not Pretty) or was a rather mischievous trickster (shaving off Lan Qiren’s beard for being a rule-obsessed square).

There is a spiritual concept of “going into the world” or “leaving the world” respectively - leaving is what Baoshan Sanren did, letting go of attachment to worldly matters to retreat to her unnamed mountain and cultivate immortality. What Xiao Xingchen does is the opposite - he chooses to “enter the world”, to leave that detached existence behind to get involved in earthly matters - beautifully alluded to by the “chen” in his name, meaning (worldly) dust. (That choice is what Xue Yang curses him for during their confrontation that last day - “If you don’t understand the world, you shouldn’t have come! Why didn’t you stay on your mountain?!” )

But he makes that choice. He wants to help people, make a difference, and so he leaves his family behind, makes that sacrifice even knowing that it means he won’t ever see his home again, and descends into the world.

Xiao Xingchen is described as gentle but determined, not only physically fighting and vanquishing evil, but helping people with any ”difficult matter” they bring before him, never refusing anyone. He wants to do good; what’s good for any humble person, not just the mighty few. And for all that he is naive, Xiao Xingchen is also self-assured and uncompromising. He knows what he is striving for, and he doesn’t hesitate when it comes to putting thought into action.

And down in the world, he finds someone else who puts those ideals over the blood ties of the mighty clans - Song Lan. Zichen. They grow close, they talk about starting a sect together – between the lines that means spending the rest of their lives together, living for those shared ideals. They grow so close, people always mention them together.

And then Xue Yang happens. Something so corrupted and grisly, it shakes even this extremely powerful young cultivator.

Whether you go by novel or series canon, the way the rest of the world handles the aftermath of the Chang massacre, it clearly dents Xiao Xingchen’s trust in the sects, in society and its concept of ”justice” quite badly.

And then Baixue happens, as a direct consequence of them capturing and making enemies with Xue Yang. Xue Yang specifically tells Song Lan, ”Tell Xiao Xingchen this is a gift for him!”

So yes, I think Xiao Xingchen takes the full blame of the Baixue massacre upon himself, because Xue Yang was out to hurt him. But because he and his immortal master were out of reach, Baixue paid the price. Song Lan paid the price.

So he broke his vow never to return home, and he gave up his eyes, in a hopeless bid to repair some modicum of the damage he’d caused, to at least give Song Lan his sight back, if not his home, his family, his ideals and beliefs and and hope.

At some point in that aftermath, Song Lan did blame Xiao Xingchen and told him they should never meet again, and he took that to heart, too. Of course Song Lan wouldn’t want to see him again – what is he now, but a reminder of those losses? The losses his own hubris caused?

So he wrapped up Shuanghua and went nameless into the world, avoiding attachments, described as wandering aimlessly from place to place to offer help and then move on, to make sure no one else would be hurt because of him. (That Xue Yang wouldn’t hurt anyone else because of him.)

I wrote a passage about him thinking back on this in an upcoming chapter;

I tried being no one, he thought, unbecomingly bitter and hurting. To make sure people wouldn’t get hurt because of me again. I thought I succeeded, but I ended up hurting people, killing people with my own hands instead.

He studiously tried tuning out the somewhat uneven footfalls behind them, focused wholly on the hand in his.

I tried being nothing, after that, after learning the truth.

But people had died because of him all the same, even then, even with him gone. The last survivors of the Chang, the people of Yi City, all those nameless victims whose blood had paid for the spells to drag him back into the world of the living… A-Qing.

I won’t hide away again, he thought, setting his jaw. I have to try… Try to be something. To do something. To leave a legacy better than this. To make it all worth it, make sure all this suffering wasn’t for nothing.

It was a bitterness that his hopes of doing that, the chance to realize the purpose he so desperately clung to… came at the hands of the man whose shadow had haunted him into nameless exile and caused all that grief and death in the first place.

How much time Xiao Xingchen had to think about all this varies wildly between CQL-canon and MDZS-canon – in the novel, not a whole lot of time passes between the Baixue massacre and Xiao Xingchen meeting a-Qing and eventually Xue Yang. But in CQL, the Baixue massacre takes place before Sunshot, before Yiling Laozu claims the Burial Mounds, before Nightless City and Wei Wuxian’s death… it’s been years of wandering alone before Xiao Xingchen meets a-Qing, and then Xue Yang. I’m not sure if it’s stated how long the Sunshot war is in CQL-canon, but even only going by the things we do know – Yanli having a child, Wei Wuxian having been dead for 16 years at the end of the Yi City arc where the main events took place 10 years ago, it’s anywhere between seven to some ten years.

So I think he has had a lot of time to reflect on all that grief from the past, but that it’s really just been spirals of hopelessness, never really processing or moving on from it. Shuanghua is still wrapped up when he meets a-Qing. He doesn’t introduce himself by name. It’s her shameless happiness, her choice to seek out his company – oh, how he’s ached for connection! - that finally gets him smiling again.

And once he makes friends with the odd stranger whose life he saves… He smiles. He laughs. They all build a home together. Shuanghua is no longer hidden. At the market, the stranger casually calls him by his name.

I think it’s only once they settle down in Yi City that he really begins healing from the horrors of the past. Dares start to build something new, in a tiny little backwater at the very edge of the map. Surely Xue Yang’s shadow won’t reach him, and this humble little existence he’s building here?

So of course it utterly breaks him when the truth comes out. Not just one, but awful truth after awful truth, tearing apart everything he’s built, everything he thought he had – everything he’s done.

A-Qing lied to him about being blind. His ”friend” was Xue Yang all along. He’s been tricked into killing people. He was tricked into killing Song Lan.

The character songs of the Yi City arc lean very heavily into Buddhist rather than Daoist themes – which is super interesting! - but especially the concept of karmic justice. No matter how unaware Xiao Xingchen was of it, he has killed. Not only did he turn away from cultivating immortality a long time ago – his soul is tainted forever. Gu Cheng speaks of ”debts” that can’t be repaid, falling into karmic sin. This isn’t just about tricking him into doing nasty things which leaves him horrified – he has been spiritually destroyed, and he didn’t even know.

The line of Gu Cheng that cuts the deepest is perhaps ”it was not your fault”/ ”The guilt doesn’t lie with you.”

Because that, I think, is at the core of things when Xiao Xingchen reaches for Shuanghua that day in Yi City - that he feels that it does. That it’s all his fault.

He has lost everything. He let down and/or was betrayed by everyone he knew. Killed his beloved soulmate. He himself is tainted and ruined beyond all salvation, because of what he’s done. And so he doesn’t just kill himself, he destroys himself, kills his body and shatters his soul, beyond all hope for reincarnation and rebirth. He utterly and completely ends himself, ends everything that is and was Xiao Xingchen.

Which is heartbreaking beyond words, and also why Heaven Has A Road clearly needed to happen. D:

…

I hope this was at least in the ballpark of the kind of rambling you were hoping for. XD

#untamed artfulness #meta #xiao xingchen #the happy songxuexiao roadtrip story #asksilvy #submission #cw:suicide

[missholland]

The one(s) who never stop searching

I sometimes wonder whether Hanguang Jun grew up with a role model, is there anyone he looks up to, or that just doesn’t exist because LWJ is too busy being admired and respected by pretty much everyone else (apart from his biggest anti-fan Su She).

Of course, he adores his soulmate. BUT, now rewatching the Coffin Town arc, I just really want to write something about LWJ and his admiration for Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan.

LWJ first met XXC and SL in episode 10 when checking out Chang clan’s manor in Yue Yang with WWX and JC. The duo captured Xue Yang there, and introduced themselves to the gang.

‘Xiao Xingchen, the moon in the breeze. Song Zichen, the Gentry despite the frost. Your decency is known to us’. This was probably the longest sentence LWJ said to another human being since the beginning of the series. Even his eyes scream ‘I’m a fan’ and makes WWX turn around in surprise. 

During their later conversation as NHS and JGY arrive, XXC and SL talk about how they’re not interested in bloodlines and just cherish those with same ambitions. LWJ has obviously been listening very carefully, and even actually asks where they cultivate and how others can find them. I mean, since LWJ has not really opened up by that point, it’s truly impressive coming across new characters that manage to generate so much interest from LWJ within a very short time. Let me repeat. he even ASKS PERSONAL QUESTIONS!

His admiration becomes VERY clear just a few minutes after during the farewell scene. It’s probably only the 3rd time LWJ gives us a mellow facial expression since episode 1. He watches on as XXC and SL depart - quite a long look with a mix of emotions: appreciating, pondering, wondering, with a tiny bit of sorrow, somehow. He was clearly in his own world until WWX calls him back down to earth. He then gives his soulmate a soft look before nodding and following the gang. WWX clearly senses that LWJ has something in mind, as they walk, he turns and looks at LWJ.

This is how I interpret LWJ’s thought process in that sequence. As he looks on XXC and SL leaving, it feels like he has a bunch of ‘What if...’ questions in his head. Probably something along the line of ‘Darn, wouldn’t it be nice to just roam the world with your lifelong confidant, protect the weak, exorcise the evil without the burden of playing clan politics? What if I was not restricted by 3,500 rules at Gusu? What if I could actually live a life as in my name WangJi - to not seek fame or wealth, forget about worldly matters, and be at peace with the world?’. As soon as WWX calls him he turns around and.... ‘What if I could live that life with this person?’.

I’m convinced from this point, LWJ already has a vision in his head about going on adventures with his soulmate. We know he eventually got his dream come true from episode 34 onward, but it was a very very long and painful way for him to get there. At the end of episode 35, when filling WWX in about what happened to XXC and SL, LWJ was visibly upset which led him into having himself a drink. Some may argue that his frustration is due to people still shitting on WWX after all these years, or about the injustice related to Jin clan and Xue Yang rather than XXC and SL. I still think that being reminded of the duo’s tragic fate when talking to WWX does have some impact on LWJ’s emotion. 

It was a clear case of extreme clan-related injustice that brought so much pain to the lives of 2 people who are not even attached to any sect whatsoever, 2 people who just purely wanted to protect the world from evil while not taking side. They were simply caught up in the whole major clans corruption shamble, and clearly the last people on earth who deserved to die/gone missing because of the clans’ mess. For someone who has long admired their decency, how would that NOT frustrate LWJ - someone who’s already in a long battle against injustice that screwed over his soulmate’s life?

Fast forward to the end of the Coffin Town arc in episode 39, it’s now revealed that Xue Yang murdered everyone at Snow White Pavilion, turned SL blind and led XXC to give his eyes to SL. As LWJ was searching for WWX, elsewhere, someone else was also looking for their other half. Unfortunately, SL arrived to find XXC being deceived by Xue Yang, and basically all of them ended up with tragic fates. Once all of the misunderstanding is finally clarified, we find WangXian and the junior disciples in front of A Qing’s grave. Once again, WWX notices LWJ being miles away in his own thoughts. He looks up and stares into his soulmate’s beautifully surreal face. It has an odd sense of relief in his vision, mixed with a bit of fear - a ‘close call’ type of fear, like... ‘Something even more awful could have happened’. 

LWJ then mumbles ‘Fortunately...’ to a confused WWX and probably because of censorship, we never get to hear the end of that sentence. Putting in the context of everything that just happened to them, it’s not too difficult to work out that LWJ was acknowledging how extremely lucky he was being able to reunite with WWX safe and sound. Sadly, XXC and SL did not get that chance.

 They then returned to XXC’s coffin to find SL. LWJ looks on, apologetically, as WWX gives SL what’s left of XXC’s spiritual cognition. Just a quick side note, I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME watching SL write in the soil with this sword ‘Roam this world with Frostwork. Exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen’. 

LWJ then looks up to SL and it feels so strongly that he wanted to say something. He’s been there - he saw his soulmate falling off the cliff. He started to invest most of his time searching for WWX, from appearing whenever chaos was to communicating with spirits asking for WWX’s whereabouts. 16 years of mourning the dead and living with the pain, feeling incomplete and empty without his counterpart. 

LWJ is the only person who can relate to SL. And that’s probably why he knows there’s nothing to be said that could ease the pain. He proceeds to respectfully present SL with XXC’s Frostwork and bow. 

LWJ, with sadness in his eyes,  watches SL walk away, this time without XXC by his side. The scene cuts to WWX thinking to himself ‘I wonder if the two of them would be able to meet each other again’. The same thought must have gone through LWJ’s mind as well. WangXian then exchange a mournful look - if only the camera has stuck around longer for us right here, as I’m sure, this could have been the ‘We should be thankful that we are still standing in front of each other’.

I really appreciate The Untamed crew setting a good 3-episode arc aside to tell the tragic story of XXC/SL/XY the best way they could. It’s also a good idea to change the timeline of certain event so that XXC and SL cross path with WangXian in WWX’s first life, as it lets us see from very early on that LWJ is not just a rigid guy to follow rules all the time. He doesn’t have all the answers to everything in his life just because he reads all the books at Gusu. He does have certain insecurity and curiosity about a different path, now that there’s someone in his life that make it worth considering. It also provides more context to the unfortunate contrary between the fates of WangXian and SongXiao.

If you’re also impressed with this arc as much as I am, I would strongly recommend checking out the novel as it tells us a lot more about SongXiao origin story and how their feud with Xue Yang started. Besides the main couple whom all of us obviously stan, this storyline definitely impressed me the most rather than anything else. I really wish one day Song Lan would succeed in nursing Xiao Xingchen’s spiritual recognition back to wholeness and they would meet again.

#xiao xingchen #song lan #xue yang #wei wuxian #wei ying #yiling laozu #lan zhan #lan wangji #hanguang jun #the untamed #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #thoughts

[giraffeter]

Thoughts on Themes in The Untamed, Part 1/?

This is a show about, among other things, trust.

Who do you trust? Why do you trust them? How can you know who to trust? When other people’s experiences of someone you trust don’t match your own, who do you believe?

I’ll admit that at first I didn’t see the point of the Yi City arc. I was entertained and moved by it, but I didn’t really understand why we needed this multi-episode digression from the main story to wrap up the plot threads of characters who hadn’t played much of a role in the main action up to that point.

The point, or at least a point, of the Yi City arc became clear to me as the show drew to a close, and it has to do with that idea of trust.

When Our Heroes go to Lan Xichen with their suspicions that JGY is behind Nie Mingjue’s murder (and a whole bunch of other bad stuff), LXC is unwilling to believe it. He agrees to investigate, because these are the kinds of allegations he has to take seriously, but his basic reaction is to say “No way. I know him, he wouldn’t do that.”

Think of the possible arguments that LXC could (and does) make in JGY’s defense: “I know people talk shit about him, but that’s because they look down on his background.” “He’s made some mistakes and made some hard choices in his life, but he’s been in some rough situations, and I believe that he’s a good person who did the best he could.” “People spread lies about him to advance their own positions; I was there for some of those events, and they didn’t happen like people say.” “I know him better than anyone and I’m telling you, he’s not that person.”

All of these are things that Lan Wangji could say about Wei Wuxian. We, the audience, know that LWJ’s trust in WWX is justified, while LXC’s is not, but as far as LXC is concerned, the two situations are not different. LXC believes himself to have as much information on which to base his faith in JGY as LWJ does — more, even, since they’ve had the last decade+ to build that trust while WWX has been dead. LXC even attempts to do the same thing for JGY that LWJ has done for WWX — stand by his side even as everyone else is coming together to oppose him  — only to find that his trust is misplaced. That’s what makes that betrayal so devastating. 

Similarly, Xiao Xingchen spends three years with Xue Yang, talking to him, building things together, sharing a life, every single day. That is also way more time than Our Heroes have spent together by the end of the show. Why wouldn’t he trust this person he’s spent so much time with, who’s never (as far as he knows) given him a reason not to trust him? The Yi City arc is an example of how horribly things can go wrong when you put your trust in the wrong person.

So how do you know who to trust? What makes LWJ’s unwavering faith in WWX different from his brother’s faith in JGY, or XXC’s faith in Xue Yang?

I would argue that they’re not different. You simply can’t have all of the information about a person; you’re never going to know everything they’ve done or their true motivations for doing so (even LWJ doesn’t have all the information about WWX’ motivations for his actions, as he learns when Wen Ning reveals the secret of the golden core transfer). That’s what makes it trust.

LXC and XXC aren’t wrong to place their trust in the people they do; it is JGY and XY who are wrong to betray that trust. That’s what makes it the single log in the darkness; the peril that you will be wrong.

Of course, the show also shows us the other side of trust: it makes a huge difference to WWX that LWJ trusts him. To have at least one person on his side when everyone else doubts him makes a profound and lasting impact on him, and that trust and faith on LWJ’s part is vindicated in the end, both in the clearing of WWX’ name and in their ongoing relationship.

You can’t know for sure. You just have to believe. That’s what makes it trust.

#the untamed #mzds #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan xichen #jin guangyao #xiao xingchen #xue yang #this turned out way longer than I thought it was going to

[hamliet]

Nie MingJue: Righteousness Without Empathy

Nie MingJue is a character I do happen to like a lot despite his often-regarded unlikeable qualities. His arc is extremely tragic, and while Jin GuangYao is ultimately responsible for his tragedy, Nie MingJue played just as much a role in his own tragic downfall. He sacrifices empathy in the name of righteousness (and Jin GuangYao sacrifices righteousness for empathy), but both Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue can honestly be said to be two sides of the same coin in that they both have a core of wanting to prove themselves, and it’s this core that destroys them both. 

Let’s begin with this conversation between the two of them: 

What Nie MingJue hated the most were such irresponsible words. Fuming, he lunged with his saber, “You had no choice? Whether or not to do it was up to you, and so was whether or not to kill them!”

Meng Yao dodged, protesting, “Was it really up to me? Sect Leader Nie, if we think from each other’s perspective…”

Nie MingJue had known what he wanted to say. He interrupted, “We won’t!”

Nie MingJue has always prided himself on being righteous, but he’s completely unable to consider things from another’s perspective. Jin GuangYao considers things from everyone else’s perspective--he’s extremely empathetic; however, he doesn’t really use that empathy for anything other than to manipulate to serve himself.

Jin GuangYao, “It isn’t that HuaiSang is a good-for-nothing, but that his heart lies somewhere else.”

Nie MingJue, “Well you’ve really discerned where his heart lies, haven’t you?”

Jin GuangYao smiled, “Of course. Isn’t that what I’m the best at? The only person whom I can’t discern is you, Brother.”

... Women, liquor, riches—he touched none; art, calligraphy, antiques—a pile of ink and mud; the finest green tea leaves and dregs from a roadside booth—there was no difference. Meng Yao tried everything he could think of yet still couldn’t find if he was interested in anything beside training his saberwork and killing Wen-dogs. He really was a wall made of iron, impenetrable by even the sharpest blades...

Nie MingJue’s understanding of righteousness completely fails to take into account the struggles of others who did not have his privileged background. He doesn’t consider this when he finds Meng Yao having killed a superior in the Jin Sect in Wen clothing (while the novel never states it explicitly, Jin GuangYao later mentions to Lan XiChen that Jin GuangShan somehow told him to kill Wen RouHan, so it’s not inconceivable that he was already planning to go undercover; then again, neither is it for certain). Jin GuangShan had just lied to Nie MingJue’s face about Meng Yao:

Nie MingJue’s brows immediately furrowed. Back then, the story that Meng Yao was kicked down Koi Tower passed around for quite a long time. Even others had known of such a farce, so there was no way that the person involved couldn’t remember the name. Only someone with the thickest of faces would be able to play dumb in such a situation. It was just that, however, Jin GuangShan just so happened to be such a person.

Yet Nie MingJue still refuses to consider that maybe he can’t trust Jin GuangShan to behave honorably. He refuses to consider that the world isn’t divided into black and white, underhanded trickery and forthright righteous honor. When he urges Meng Yao to confess and atone, he doesn’t consider that Meng Yao’s plea that he will be killed for it was very likely true. Jin GuangShan probably would have had him executed.

Nie MingJue, “To get here, you took the wrong path.”

Meng Yao, “You’re going to be sending me to my death.”

Nie MingJue, “If your words are true, it won’t happen. Go, reflect, and turn over a new leaf.”

Meng Yao whispered, “…My father hasn’t seen me yet.”

It wasn’t that Jin GuangShan didn’t see him.

He simply pretended to not know his existence.

So what happens when you have righteousness without empathy? Can you even call that righteousness?

Not really, which Jin GuangYao exposes to him.

[Jin GuangYao] looked up, unknown fires dancing within his eyes, “But, Brother, I have always wanted to ask you something—the lives under your hands are in any regard more than those under mine, so why is it that I only killed a few cultivators out of desperation and you keep on bringing it up, even until now?”

Nie MingJue was so enraged that he began to laugh, “Good! I’ll give you my answer. Countless souls who have fallen under my saber, but I’ve never killed out of my own desires, much less to climb up the ladder!”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, I understand what you mean. Are you saying that all of the people you killed deserved their deaths?”

With courage gathered from nowhere, he laughed and walked a few steps closer to Nie MingJue. His voice raised as well, asking in an almost aggressive manner, “Then, may I ask, just how do you decide if someone deserves death? Are your standards absolutely correct? If I kill one but save hundreds, would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death? To do great things, sacrifices must happen.”

Nie MingJue, “Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?”

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, “Yes.”

He looked up. In his expression were some of pride, some of calmness, and some of a faint insanity, “I and they, of course we are different!”

They deserved to die, did they? Yet we know Nie MingJue took part in the Siege of the Burial Mounds (even if he did not play a very large role), where the elderly and weak Wens were murdered and thrown into a blood pool.We know he refused to speak up for Wen Qing, saying this:

Lan XiChen responded a moment later, “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.”

Nie MingJue, “But she’s never stopped them either.”

Lan XiChen, “Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. How could she have stopped them?”

Nie MingJue spoke coldly, “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.”

Yet that is exactly what he was doing right in that very scene, in the face of Jin ZiXun’s internment camps where Wen Ning was murdered: refusing to say anything because of his personal hatred for the Wens. In that very same scene, he even thinks that he knows Jin GuangYao was fibbing to help his father and yet says nothing, because it benefits him to have Wens hurt. 

In contrast, Jin GuangYao empathizes, he knows how people feel, but he doesn’t allow that to change his mind and help them. He too is always working for his own benefit, just like Nie MingJue. They’re not very different at their core. 

So basically, righteousness without empathy is pretty close to hypocrisy and allows injustices to prevail, which is made exceedingly clear when corpse!Nie MingJue enacts atrocities and murders many innocents. It’s a parallel what happened to Xiao XingChen at the hands of Xue Yang: being tricked into killing without realizing it. The difference, of course, is that Xiao XingChen did empathize with Xue Yang to an extent, whereas Nie MingJue refused to empathize at all with Jin GuangYao (hence why it’s super ironic that a technique called empathy is what exposes Wei WuXian to what Nie MingJue was feeling and to who the culprit is). 

Nie MingJue winds up as an unrestrained corpse killing at random in a futile attempt to put himself back together. While we don’t have a ton of background re: what made Nie MingJue the way he was, we know he witnessed his father tricked into a qi deviation which gave him a lifelong hatred for Wen RouHan, which might have traumatized him. That said, we can’t say for certain. But considering the themes of the novel and the motives for other killers--Xue Yang, Jin GuangYao, Wei WuXian--it’s not exactly far-fetched to theorize that this is symbolic of Nie MingJue trying to heal himself through violence as a way of setting the world/his body right, and that completely failing and just hurting everyone around him.  

Lan SiZhui, “It seems like he is searching for something… Maybe it is… his head?”

Wei WuXian, “That’s right. He’s searching for his head. There are quite a few heads here, so since he doesn’t know which one is his, he’ll pull off the head of each person and place it on top of his own neck to see if it fits or not. If it does, he’ll do with it for a period of time, and if it doesn’t, he’ll throw it away, so you should walk slowly. You must not get caught by him.”...

under the forceful attacks of the flute and the guqin, he looked as if he finally lost all energy, succumbing to the three instruments. With a stagger, he fell to the ground.

To be more accurate, it wasn’t that he fell down, but that he fell apart. There were the arms, the legs, and the torso, broken and scattered over the carpet of dry leaves.

He kills the Mo family (despite their awfulness), he tries to kill SiZhui, he tries to kill his brother, he would have killed even Lan XiChen if Jin GuangYao had not pushed him away at the last second. Righteousness without empathy is not righteousness at all; it is a sword that can only wound, not heal. (And for the record I’m not absolving Jin GuangYao of responsibility; it’s his fault for killing Nie MingJue--but please note Nie MingJue’s actions in death aren’t that different from his actions in life. Starts off killing evil people--the Wens, the Mos--tries to then kill people associated--all Wens, SiZhui who is a Wen--and spirals into lashing out at everyone around him including, finally, HuaiSang.)

Lan XiChen, “Brother, this is HuaiSang!”

Nie HuaiSang, “Brother can’t even recognize me…”

Wei WuXian, “Not only can’t he recognize you, he can’t even recognize whom he himself is right now!”

Nie MingJue had already become a corpse controlled by the heavy energy of resentment. He was fierce and violent, attacking indiscriminately....

Lest we think the novel wants us to ascribe these actions all to Nie MingJue being dead and unable to physically see, the novel refutes this:

The harsh, stern expression on his rigid face held a sense of judgement that was no different from before he died.

In addition, there are two foils that arise in the GuanYin Temple scene that add to this: Wen Ning and Su She. Nie MingJue attempts to kill Jin Ling in a case of mistaken identity (symbolic for how Nie MingJue acts/kills on incomplete information) and Jin Ling is only saved by a Wen, Wen Ning, jumping in front of Jin Ling to atone for killing Jin Ling’s father as a crazed corpse himself. It doesn’t kill Wen Ning, but it sets up a Wen as righteous and even trying to protect Nie MingJue from his own actions, and also showing that Wen Ning, who truly was not responsible for his actions back when he killed Jin Ling’s father, takes responsibility for what he did. 

Later on in the same chapter, Nie MingJue kills Su She in Su She’s attempt to protect Jin GuangYao. Nie MingJue despised Jin GuangYao for a moment of unrighteousness, and Su She served Jin GuangYao with unflinching loyalty because Jin GuangYao remembered him, so they are foils. Su She, of course, is extremely wrong in his petty cruelty and loyalty that is never questioned, but Nie MingJue’s inability to forgive similarly leads to killing. 

It’s also ironic, of course, that the whole reason Nie MingJue goes on a killing spree is because his little brother, the one he wanted to protect, is the one who unleashes him and damn the cost. Like, HuaiSang got Mo XuanYu to commit suicide, risked Jin Ling’s death multiple times, destroys a poor woman’s corpse just like his brother’s corpse was destroyed. 

Nie MingJue’s righteousness is a prison. It’s not righteousness at all, and it’s the reason he winds up trapped in a coffin with Jin GuangYao, whose empathy was not used for righteousness, for a hundred years. Both of these paths lead to death and imprison a person. 

#nie mingjue #mdzs meta #jin guangyao #mao dao zu shi #mo dao su zhi #chifeng-zun #nieyao #tho it isn't intended to be shippy if that's your boat float it #su she #wen ning #wen qing #3zuns #xiao xingchen #xue yang #nie huaisang #cql #the untamed #chen qing ling

[grapefruitsketches]

Untamed Spring Fest 2020 - Days 18 & 19: Breath & Journey

Part of my Songxiao post-canon fix-it fic series (this is the “SL Prequel”):

XXC Prequel | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Also available AO3: link

5,540 Words

Songxiao, happy ending (for both of them), canon-compliant, post-canon, hurt/comfort, mentions of canonical major character deaths, 

As promised, here is my companion piece to my Day 6: Breeze contribution  (though either can be read as a standalone). See the XXC piece at the “XXC Prequel” link above. 

-

Roam this world with Shuanghua, exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen.

Song Lan had been doing exactly that since he had regained consciousness in Yi City. He drifted from town to town, feeling like he had more in common with the ghosts he was there to disperse rather than the hero the villagers seemed to think he was.

The spirit bag dangled at his side, weightless, lifeless, but he never for a moment forgot its presence. It was everything. He hardly touched Shuanghua, though, feeling guilty for the comfort its companionship brought him. He tried to make up for his partner’s absence - he moved constantly, always looking for the next sign of trouble he could help solve. Fighting became mechanical. Sometimes he felt that the only difference between his day to day life now from his life as a puppet was his choice of target.

Shuanghua had begun to weigh on him. The first time he’d noticed had been after a particularly grueling night hunt, four months into his travels. He had assumed that he had simply been tired, but when he woke up the next day, and had trouble just lifting the sword onto his back as he did each morning, he was knew it must be something else. He tried to figure out what Shuanghua wanted. He used it on a few night hunts, wondering if it was bored. Shuanghua only grew heavier, if anything, after these hunts, and after a few near misses where a parry or attack had failed because of the unusual weight of the sword, he abandoned this theory. All he had accomplished was a feeling of shamelessness in using another cultivator’s sword, especially the one belonging to the man he had wronged so deeply.

He knew he might find an answer if he visited one of the towns governed by a major clan. There were swordsmiths there, ones who seemed to understand the swords they made more intimately than even the cultivators who carried them. He decided that it was not worth the journey, though. Not only was there a chance that an ordinary swordsmith wouldn’t have the skills to evaluate the sword of one of Baoshan Sanren’s disciples, but Song Lan also preferred to avoid major cultivator cities if possible. There was too much risk he would be recognized, that Shuanghua would be recognized, that even if he weren’t recognized, that there would be questions about why a cultivator would carry two swords. Song Lan had never liked being pestered with question, but now that every word would have to be painstakingly carved out in the ground or written on paper, and every answer inevitably something too painful to relive, it would be far worse.

So the sword grew heavier, and Song Lan treated the sword’s moods as an unfortunate but unchangeable fact of his current life.

One day as he was making his way from one small village in Yiling to another, a voice he recognized called out to him.

“M-master Song!”

Sighing, he turned around to face the person who had finally found him after two years of successful avoidance.

Long black robe, disheveled hair hanging loose, and, most tellingly, black veins creeping up his neck. Wen Ning waved and jogged lightly, stopping in a bow just in front of Song Lan. Song Lan bowed instinctively in response, grateful as ever for the automated etiquette he could lean on as he tried to restart the part of his mind that knew how to act around someone from the clans. The manners, he could handle. But Xing-, …others had usually been better than him at resisting provocation if the conversation turned somewhere unpleasant. Though perhaps, he thought wryly to himself, it might be easier to get through these conversations without what Master once called “my sharp tongue.”

The Ghost General smiled, “Strange to meet here, isn’t it?”

Song Lan nodded.

Song Lan remembered being briefly introduced to Wen Ning at the Yiling Supervisory Office, so many years ago. He’d been disoriented, his sight damaged but recovering. He also, vaguely, remembered fighting him in Yi City. But Song Lan had not had a chance or really the will, at that time, to speak with the man, besides to offer a quick bow as an apology for the fight, which Wen Ning had politely returned. The Ghost General was a name he’d heard often in the last two years though. Few villagers knew Wen Ning’s face or even his birth or courtesy name, but almost every town had their own version of the Ghost General - who in one town would be said to come to take children who did not finish their vegetables, and in another, it was an omen of foreboding for any upcoming weddings if someone heard the rattling chains of the Ghost General nearby.

None of the stories matched the pleasant, unassuming man before him.

“I was just passing through. Y-you were too?” Wen Ning asked.

Again, Song Lan nodded.

“Ah.” Wen Ning smiled and shuffled a bit, “I… I heard that I might find you here. Everyone you’ve helped… It’s very impressive!”

Song Lan only smiled and nodded gratefully, wondering briefly if Wen Ning was deliberately keeping his questions to need simple yes or no answers. He did want to ask, though, why Wen Ning sounded like he had been looking for him.

They walked together in silence a while, Song Lan not wanting to pull out Fuxue to keep the conversation going. It was one of those days where Shuanghua was acting up more than usual. Alone, Song Lan had felt free to walk slowly to compensate. Alongside Wen Ning, he hadn’t wanted to show such a weakness, so he tried to keep pace. The weight seemed to grow with every step he took. Soon, it had grown to a point where he would either have to stop, or, more shamefully, collapse on the path under Shuanghua’s weight. The former option sounded slightly more appealing.

Song Lan veered off the path and leaned against a tree, catching his breath but keeping his face passive. He gently took Shuanghua off and laid it gently against the trunk.

Wen Ning quickly realized that he had lost his walking companion and turned to look quizzically, first at Song Lan, then, eyes widening, at Shuanghua leaning on the tree, even while Fuxue was still strapped comfortably to the cultivator’s back.

“Master Song!” Wen Ning cried, hurrying over, “Are you ok?”

Song Lan nodded, but knew his heavy breathing gave him away. He closed his eyes, hoping he might be lucky enough that Wen Ning would take this to be a perfectly normal nap, with no further questions.

Wen Ning frowned, “… I know we… we’re not friends.” Wen Ning’s head leaned one way, then another as he considered each word, “We don’t really know each other… but…” he sighed, “what happened in Yi City,” Wen Ning’s eyes widened as Song Lan flinched at the words, “Sorry, I just mean, well.” He breathed deeply, “This is obvious to everyone else but I think you might need to hear it. It… it wasn’t your fault.”

Song Lan’s eyes snapped open to look at Wen Ning, brows furrowed. Of course he didn’t blame himself, of course he knew that that man… that monster had been truly responsible. But that didn’t mean he denied his responsibility for his role in what had happened to his cultivation partner. If not for his cruel words, Xingchen wouldn’t have been there in the first place. If not for Song Lan’s incompetent interference, Xingchen might have continued as he was, tricked, but alive and happy even if in ignorance. Song Lan reached for Fuxue, suddenly not feeling so burdened by the prospect of writing in the dirt.

What wasn’t?

Wen Ning smiled. “I don’t know, Master Song, but I think you do.”

Song Lan huffed in frustration, adding next to his first message, He was alone and blind because of me.

“Was he?” Wen Ning asked gently, meeting Song Lan’s eyes.

I sent him away. He saved me. Song Lan’s eyes had started to tear up as he wrote, I couldn’t even manage to warn him without getting him, Song Lan couldn’t bring himself to write what had happened to Xingchen after all the love and kindness he had put out into the world, had given to Song Lan.

He remembered the moment he had rounded that corner in Yi City, A-Qing by his side. His eyes had, of course, first landed on Xiao Xingchen. His smile. His laughter. The comfortable life he seemed to be living without Song Lan by his side. He had almost turned and walked away there, willing to set aside his own feelings if Xiao Xingchen was happy. If Song Lan had lost him and Xingchen had moved on without feeling that he had lost Song Lan, maybe that was the most just outcome. But then he realized that there was also something familiar about the second voice coming from those steps. With some difficulty, he pulled his eyes away from the beautiful man he’d once had the honour of sharing every day with, the moon to Song Lan’s cold winter nights. And had felt a jolt like a stab to the chest as he recognized the figure sitting beside Xingchen. In that moment of realization, everything had changed.

Xiao Xingchen had been lured right into a trap, one that couldn’t have worked if Song Lan hadn’t abandoned him, leaving him to walk alone when he could most use a trusted partner by his side.

And newly armed with the knowledge of how bad the situation was, Song Lan had made every wrong move in the moments that followed.

By now, the tears were flowing freely. Wen Ning awkwardly pet him on the back.

“I used to blame myself for my family and sister’s deaths.” Wen Ning said quietly.

Song Lan looked to him in confusion. He had heard many stories about Wen Ning, ones he believed and ones he hadn’t, but despite all the fightening tales of the Ghost General, despite the excited whispers he had overheard years ago when he travelled with XIngchen about the grisly fates of the remaining Wen clan members, he’d never heard a story that cast the Ghost General as the executioner.

“She was always protecting me, always fixing my mistakes.” Wen Ning smiled sadly, “She thought that if we both turned ourselves in, that that would protect our family. But instead, I survived, she died, and no one even paused before attacking our family.” Wen Ning sighed, “I used to wonder if it would have been better if I had gone to Lanling alone. If Master Wei and Jiejie hadn’t protected me, saved me until then, they probably wouldn’t have died. She was so strong,” a tear fell from Wen Ning’s eye even as he smiled at the thought of his sister, “If she hadn’t come with me, hadn’t tried to make up for what I’d done, maybe she could have protected the rest of our family and they would all still be alive today.”

Song Lan was shaken. He remembered Wen Qing, too, from his days in recovery. She had been gentle, but stern. He had no doubt she was as strong as Wen Ning described. He had also heard talk, not too long ago, that it was now common knowledge that Wen Ning had not been in control when he had killed the Jin heir. That Wen Ning blamed himself for his sister’s fate… Wen Qing had not struck Song Lan as someone who would step back as other people stepped up. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where she would simply bid her brother farewell and watch him face the consequences for actions he couldn’t have prevented.

“I-I think she blamed herself, that she thought I was her responsibility, so if I did something wrong or something bad happened to me, it was because of her,” Wen Ning said, “I should have known that the consequences for anything I did would end up on her.”

Song Lan carved harshly into the dirt, the cuts so deep and so large it might take several rainfalls before they disappeared completely NOT YOUR FAULT.

Wen Ning looked at the marks, and smiled, “I know that now. It took me a long time, but I know others will make choices that you don’t like that you can’t control sometimes, will try to protect you from the world as if you can’t be trusted to make your own choices.” He looked hard into Song Lan’s eyes, “Do you understand?”

You and Xingchen didn’t do anything wrong.

Wen Ning nodded, then gently added, “And neither did my sister. And neither did you. It’s good to try and protect people you care about but…” Wen Ning paused as though searching for the words, “but you shouldn’t blame yourself just because they end up in trouble, even if you think there was a way you could have prevented it.”

Song Lan let his back slide down the tree, collapsing on the ground, unsure if it was the aftereffects of carrying Shuanghua, this conversation, or simply the amount of spiritual energy he had put into those last few lines but he was exhausted all of the sudden. He gripped the bag dangling from his hip, detaching it and pulling it to his chest. It still felt empty, but it brought him some comfort.

He had one more question, though, Why are you here? He wrote, tracing the characters with his finger in the soft dirt, not wanting to lift Fuxue again.

“Oh, yes! I have a message from Master Wei.” Wen Ning said, clearing his throat, “He said to find you and tell you…” Wen Ning worked his way methodically through the sentence, and Song Lan was confident that this was almost word for word what Wei Wuxian had told him to say, “to tell you that he has a theory for something that might work for Master Xiao.”

Any drowsiness forgotten, Song Lan scrambled to his feet, his sudden grip of Wen Ning’s shoulder making his meaning clear enough without the need for any more writing.

Wen Ning nodded, confirming that Song Lan had heard correctly, “He said that once you’re your spirits are healed, you should come see him in the Cloud Recesses, and he can try something. He said he couldn’t know if it would work,” Wen Ning shrugged, “but I don’t think he was sure about me either.”

Now Song Lan did reach for his sword, How do I heal Xingchen’s spirit? He wrote, clutching the spirit bag firmly to his heart as he did so.

Wen Ning shook his head, “I’ve been trying to explain, I’m just not very good at it,” he breathed out, “You can’t.”

The adrenaline, the hope that Song Lan had so eagerly grabbed on to evaporated. He felt like he might faint. If Wen Ning was anyone else, Song Lan might have drawn his sword on him for this, but Wen Ning’s face was neutral. It did not tease, did not make light, this man did not seem like he had a malicious bone in him. A part of Song Lan wondered if that was why Wei Wuxian had chosen him to bring this message - to boast about his innovation, without risking Song Lan’s frustration with its insufficiency. But Wei Wuxian didn’t seem the type to do that either. So why bother telling him at all?

“He has to,” Wen Ning provided gently, “All you can do is try your best to work on healing yourself and support him if you can. Just like you’re already doing.”

Wen Ning pointed at his chest, at the spirit bag being hugged like a lifeline.

Healing myself? I am well.

Wen Ning tilted his head, looking Song Lan over, “I don’t know if you are. But I think you will be.” Wen Ning continued, “You do remind me a bit of… of my sister. Always thinking of others. Always protecting others. And I’d like to think, if she were in your place, she would take a break, just for a little bit, and just… do what she wanted to do for herself.” Wen Ning smiled, “I don’t know if she ever had the chance to do that, but if you do, maybe I can believe she did too.”

Song Lan still looked skeptically at Wen Ning, reattaching the spirit bag to his side but not letting go.

“We’ve both been used as puppets. We, more than anyone, should know that there are sometimes things we do that we can’t be blamed for. And if there were one thing I could tell my sister if I had the chance, I would want her to know she was allowed to live her own life too, that the worst part of bad things happening to me was never what was happening to me, but was worrying about how she might hurt herself to fix it.”

The words resonated in Song Lan’s head as he processed them. He looked down to the spirit bag. If there was a chance - even a chance - that Xingchen could come back, he would do everything he could to be sure that Song Lan would be the person Xingchen needed, not just a guilt-ridden protector, but a true partner.

The two parted ways not long after that, Shuanghua mysteriously lighter when Song Lan picked it back up. Song Lan wondered whether his conversation with Wen Ning would have happened if the sword had not been so heavy before. It seems it might have encouraged him, coaxed him into having his first conversation about Yi City since his departure from that cursed place. Not forced, not threatened, just gently guided him into making a choice that ended up being right for him.

--

Song Lan had decided to make the long journey to the place where he and Xingchen had first met, a quiet town not far from Baixue Temple. He knew many of the people in the town, so any stranger was remarkable, but he had been especially curious as to why such a man would be buying enough food to serve a small banquet. He had followed Xingchen around a corner into a dark alley. Song Lan had hidden in the shadows and watched as the man had knocked on a door Song Lan had never noticed before. The door soon opened to the sounds of wailing children and a very tired looking woman. Song Lan hadn’t been close enough to hear the conversation, but he did see the food, all except a tiny portion, handed across the threshold to the thankful woman inside. Xingchen had smiled, his beautiful, heart-shattering smile, then turned to leave the way he came.

Song Lan had realized too late that there would be no way Xingchen would pass him without seeing him there, and leaving the alleyway at a run would be even more suspicious, so he had stepped out and greeted the man who would soon become the dearest person to him in the world.

“I saw what you did there. That was kind of you.”

Xingchen had simply smiled that gentle smile of his, held out the little food he had left and said, “Would you like some as well?”

Now, Song Lan passed by the same alleyway, the town, still so familiar, had had enough changes to make it feel a little uncanny. He wondered vaguely what had happened to all those children, who would by now (hopefully) be healthy, happy adults.

Before he fully realized what he was doing, he bought some food from the same stand Xingchen had visited all those years ago, from a man who looked like a carbon copy of the previous vendor, though with a rounder jaw. Song Lan followed the same path he had all those decades ago, found the little door, and knocked.

When the door opened, a man just as disheveled as the woman had been back then stood there, looking confused. Unable to speak, unwilling to write, and unsure how to put his reasons for being here into words, Song Lan simply bowed, handed the food to the bewildered but cautiously thankful man, and left. He laughed at himself - what a ridiculous thing to have done. This simple gesture - one without fighting, done without guilt, without a drive to do anything but the things he thought might make him happy, might make someone else happy, would remind him of his fondest memories, even though it might have left the man confused, left him glowing inside. He felt full though if he, unlike Xingchen, had forgotten to retain any of the food for himself. The warmth of the glow travelled from his heart and radiated outwards, a small smile formed on his face, and as he felt himself relax through the very ends of his fingers, Shuanghua lighter than ever. He felt a slight quiver at his side.

Eyes widening, he reached down and pulled the spirit pouch up to his face, peering closely at it. Was it… fuller than before? He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but something certainly felt different about the pouch. He held it close to his cheek, and as he did, felt a soft vibration in the cloth, no more noticeable than if a moth had flapped its wings inside, but definitely there.

Xingchen. Xingchen, I’ve got you. He wanted to say, And I know you’ve got me. He moved the pouch to his chest, hugging it tight, hoping the meaning might come through to whatever form his Xingchen took right now. I know we’ll get through this together.

--

A year passed, a year in which Song Lan learned more about himself than he had ever allowed before. He had grown restless after three months of walking through various places and memories, eager to get back to his work protecting the innocent wherever trouble arose.

Gradually, he felt lighter. He had learned he could take breaks, and was greatly rewarded when he did so. He felt Xingchen’s pouch shift and saw it glow more and more frequently and dramatically over time, most reliably whenever Song Lan paused to relax, to take in the little things. A patch of flowers at the side of the road. Children who played, laughing through markets. And, though this had taken the longest to prompt anything but a deep ache in his core, couples walking side by side, hand in hand, taking in the scenery but turning again and again back to each other.

He visited Wen Ning sometimes, to ask advice, to see how he was doing. It felt good to have someone who understood, a much needed anchor to this world while his world still fought to reassemble himself at his side. Besides, Wen Ning was training himself to carry on his clan’s legacy of healing, and Song Lan was not immune to the occasional need for medical attention, and no longer felt that healing needed to be put off until all the other work was done. Wen Ning was especially excited to discuss the books on mind healing he had found in some books he had found, hidden for years in Dafan Mountain.

Song Lan was sure that Xingchen was healing, but in the meantime, despite the glows and quivers of the spirit bag, Song Lan still felt very alone. He felt the loneliness less as time went on, as he allowed himself to spend more time celebrating victories with villagers, more time enjoying the world around him, more time reminding himself that he had friends still in this world. The loneliness could not be chased away, and though they had dampened, he still experienced pangs of guilt some mornings as he put Shuanghua onto his back, or brushed against the spirit pouch, or if his mind wandered to thoughts of Yi City, the one place he and Xingchen had both visited that he refused to return to. These feelings were still there, would never truly disappear, he thought, but as he took more time to pursue the paths he wanted to follow, to protect himself if he stumbled into dangerous situations, he began to feel, despite his loneliness, whole.

--

After another full year, one full of more joy than Song Lan remembered in the last 20 years since he had come home for his Master’s birthday, but a year not free of nights weeping over the sword and pouch he carried, not free of moments where he reviewed every detail of events from their first encounter with Xue Yang to Song Lan’s last moments with Xiao Xingchen and told himself all the things he should have done differently, all the moments that could have changed everything. But these moments grew more distant, shallower with time. Song Lan continued his visits with Wen Ning, who never failed to share some proud story about his nephew, who by Wen Ning’s account, was shaping up to be the top cultivator of his generation. Song Lan, in return, brought back the slowly shifting tales of the Ghost General he heard whispered through villages - that if you stood in a certain spot under a full moon, the Ghost General might enter your dreams, giving you advice sure to bring you good fortune. Song Lan had never revealed the source of these rumours, but he was sure Wen Ning had his suspicions. They had both been near dead, had both lost nearly everything, but were both managing, were both happy, even.

The one thing Song Lan wished for in the quiet hours, the thing he on some level had always known would come, even before he’d been told it was possible, came on a quiet night, a quiet night with a full moon, wind gentle on Song Lan’s face. He was sitting on a hill, alone, simply enjoying the feel of the breeze on his face, the spirit pouch sitting on his lap as it often did on such nights, when the pouch moved. It was not violent, not trembling. It seemed almost purposeful, the bag expanding, and in doing so, shifting closer to Song Lan’s hand, which rested on his thigh. On contact with his hand, the bag began to glow. Not the gentle flickering it had produced in the past, but a steady, yellow shine, strong and… and… healed.

All thoughts of a quiet night evaporated as Song Lan grunted in surprise, brought the bag to his chest and squeezed it tight, willing his love and support through as hard as he could. He touched Shuanghua, trying to communicate softly that the one they had been waiting for might be here soon.

He stood on Fuxue, and crossed valleys, mountains, towns, all the way to Gusu, far faster than he would have previously thought possible.

After flying nonstop all night, he arrived at the gates of the Cloud Recesses just as the guards were starting their duty for the day. The white and blue disciples blinked and exchanged a glance at the panting cultivator who had just landed on the steps, who had bowed politely, but urgently at each of them in turn. One of the guards opened his mouth to ask this unannounced guest who he was, but another, looking open-mouthed at the two very recognizable swords strapped to the man’s back, cut the first off.  

“Get Hanguang-Jun,” this second guard commanded, and the first nodded, setting off up the steps.

Hanguang-Jun was at the gates in a matter of minutes, his neutral, cold look melting into something softer when he caught sight of the unbreakable smile on Song Lan’s face.

“You are both ready.” Hanguang-Jun did not phrase it as a question, but Song Lan nodded anyway. Hanguang-Jun mirrored the nod in response, said, “Come,” and turned to walk back up the stairs. Song Lan obliged. He was hardly absorbing anything that was going on around him, focused more on the stirring spirit, the life, at his side to take in any of the serene beauty of the residence.

“Lan Zhaaan, what could be so urgent that I had to be up before 9?” Wei Wuxian’s voice rang loud and clear through the quiet of the Cloud Recesses as they reached the main residences.

Wei Wuxian had come out of a room rubbing his eyes. Song Lan vaguely noted that the room was called (in the state he was in, he only just prevented himself from laughing giddily at someone of Wei Wuxian’s temperament ever being in such a place) the Jingshi.

“Wei Ying.” Hanguang-Jun drew the other man’s attention to their visitor.

“Song Lan!” Wei Wuxian bounded over, all talk of exhaustion gone. He looked down at the pouch Song Lan still clutched to his chest, at its fullness, at its glow, and at Song Lan’s peaceful look of genuine happiness, of profound hope.

Wei Wuxian smiled. “I think this will work.”

It took some time to gather what they needed. Wen Ning was summoned to retrieve Xiao Xingchen’s body. Wei Wuxian prepared the necessary space and talismans, and also Song Lan, who, the Yiling Patriarch explained, was key to this whole process.

“It’s your eyes.” Wei Wuxian explained with a smile, “I can’t usually revive the dead after so long but then I realized… Xiao Xingchen still lives. By continuing to live and breathe, you kept his body alive and connected to this world while he worked on his soul.”

Within a week, they were ready. Song Lan had almost cried when Wen Ning had arrived carrying the limp body of the man thought about so often during the years, but refused to visit precisely because he didn’t want to see him like this. They laid Xiao Xingchen’s body on a bed in a guest room.

Song Lan knelt by the bed and opened the bag that had been by his side all this time. He was only faintly aware of the flute and guqin music playing in the background. As instructed, Song Lan looked into the bag, then slowly drew his gaze from the soft, beautiful glow, to the equally beautiful but horrifyingly still form on the bed. The glow followed along the path of his gaze as if pulled along by a string. The spirit entered Xingchen’s chest.

Silence, but for the flute and guqin music.

Song Lan’s heart seized, the last week’s high yielding to a sudden fear - what if, after all this, this didn’t work? It was only experimental. Wei Wuxian had never done this before. No one had ever done this before. He knew he would live even if this failed, but that almost made it worse. What if…

A finger twitched. Hands moved.

Song Lan’s eyes widened. He had never missed his tongue more. He wanted to be able to say something to Xingchen. To tell him he was there. That they were together, had been all this time, but now could finally touch and share in each other’s worlds again, be truly home again. He ended up communicating all this the only way he knew how, by throwing himself over the stirring white robed man and sobbing.

Xingchen’s mouth opened and let out a breath, held for 20 years, carrying with it two gentle syllables, “Zichen.” His chest rose and fell. Two pink spots grew on the clean white cloth covering the place where the eyes now living in Song Lan’s head had once been. Red began to drip down the sides of Xingchen’s face. His arm reached up, towards Song Lan. One arm, then the other, found the man who had remembered him, carried him, loved him, for so long. “Zichen” the newly revived man repeated. The music stopped, and Song Lan understood that the other two, who understood what this moment meant probably better than anyone, had given them the time and space they so desperately wanted.

Song Lan’s heart swelled at the sound of his name, at the name he had refused to even introduce himself with since he had left the side of the man who said it best. He held the other man closer, a person not just a spirit but a full person, gloriously alive, healthy, and happy in his arms. That they were both so complete, that they had both struggled to get to this point through their own efforts, that they had each done so with but not relying on the other’s support, only made their reunion that much sweeter. They were not two halves making one whole, but two wholes making a loving pair.

They could not stay there forever. That was for certain. And until they figured something else out, Song Lan couldn’t say the things he wanted to say unless they brought someone into this space to interpret. But for now, being here with Xingchen in his arms, that didn’t matter. For now, each other’s touch, their embrace, their tears, said everything that needed to be said. For now, every moment together, every breath together, felt like a new forever they would protect together.

Next: Chapter 1 of my post-Songxiao reunion fic

#untamed spring fest #the untamed #cql #songxiao #song lan #wen ning #xiao xingchen #casually sprinkles in a wn as therapist headcanon #Also I'm planning the last fic in this series of songxiao post canon standalones for day 24! #my writing #songxiao fix it series

[vedrividia]

1/3 Hey, so this is gonna be my last message before the “big reveal” tomorrow 😁 I would love to know if you have a guess or if you’re totally clueless 👀 But yeah I feel like Coachella has nice aesthetics online but probably falls flat irl. (I still wanna go tho 🤷🏻‍♀️) And the story of your friend meeting her bf in a moshpit is so endearing haha I love it! 😄

2/3 I’m glad I could give you a nice distraction with that question and I’m laughing very hard at some of your answers. Like NHS being the epitome of the duality of man and XY not listening to music at all. That’s actually more evil than anything else he’s ever done 😂 Like I can excuse homicide but I draw the line at hating music 😂😂

3/3 So because tomorrow is NYE, my last question to you is what you think each character would be doing during a NYE party? Like who’s the host? Who misses the countdown because they’re already asleep? Who is black out drunk by 11pm? Who stays awake until 8am? -CC🐇

Ahh the big reveal!! I'm really sad to see this ending tbh, I enjoyed it so much and I can only hope you did so, too💖 (also I haven't appreciated it yet but I love love love you signing off with the lil bunny emoji)! Anyways, I do have a teeny tiny guess who you might be but it could be totally wrong so I won't reveal it (yet)😂

I love the fact that I could make you laugh!! I actually had a Xue Yang exchange student once (the not listening to music, NOT the murder part) and I literally cannot comprehend how somebody could NOT listen to music?? How do you live?? It kinda suits the list of "things Xue Yang does that are incomprehensible to me" which also includes murder, deception, and willingly working for Wen Ruohan.

Now the NYE question! Another great one, I love sharing (and annoying people with) my headcanons!

So, let's start!

The host would probably be Lan Xichen. He originally wanted to have a little party with Lan Qiren, Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian's siblings to kind of make them familiar with each other but then WWX was like "but Nie Huaisang is like a brother to me!! And so is Wen Ning!! Oh, and then we have to invite Wen Qing and Nie Mingjue as well, and if Jin Guangyao is excluded he won't be happy about that- and while we're at it, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen would like to come too!" and so Lan Xichen gives up, uninvites Lan Qiren and organizes a bigger party with the help of Jiang Yanli (LXC is responsible for the location, invitations and decoration and JYL coordinates/makes most of the food). Wei Wuxian immediately declares himself responsible for the music and Jiang Cheng pretends to be annoyed by it but is secretly happy it's no Lan doing it.

(for the sake of the story, the juniors will not be actively participating. Let's just assume they're small, A-Yuan is with Granny Wen, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen are with their families and Jin Ling is actually not born yet, however JYL is pregnant with him)

The party already starts a little disastrous because Lan Qiren is pissed he was uninvited so he just... shows up there and WWX is SHOCKED. But then the rest of the guests start to arrive and he has no time to be shocked anymore because he has to greet them.

The first to arrive is Jin Zixuan, who is actually glad to escape his father's party for once. So glad that he even puts up with WWX being there. He immediately offers to help with setting the table and getting out the food so that a) he can help his pregnant wife and b) he doesn't have to be so close to WWX.

Jiang Cheng is next, he wanted to be there earlier but he had to endure a rant from his mother about how he "rather celebrates with WWX than your actual family" and so he already... isn't in the best mood, but is he ever? He immediately gets himself a drink.

Jin Guangyao arrives on his own, and demonstratively takes a seat in the opposite corner of Jin Zixuan because their relationship is... not the best. But Jin Zixuan is determined not to let that ruin the party that Jiang Yanli co-organized.

Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen come at the very second the party is supposed to start, and Wei Wuxian laughs at them for it.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning arrive together, obviously, they're siblings and Wen Ning doesn't have a license.

Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue come last, and somehow Nie Huaisang is already tipsy. Not even Nie Mingjue has an idea how he managed that.

Okay, now to the ACTUAL party and the answer of your questions:

Lan Qiren is the first to leave. He makes it until around 9:30pm, he is only there because of spite and at that point he's SO annoyed by everyone, even his nephews, that he just vanished again with a sour look on his face.

The first one to get blackout drunk is, surprisingly, Jiang Cheng. He doesn't accept that Wei Wuxian can hold more liquor than he can and thus, he drinks as much as his brother does even though Jiang Yanli tells him to stop REPEATEDLY. In the end, he's drunk exactly the same amount as Wei Wuxian but is considerably drunker when Jiang Yanli ushers him off to a side room around 10pm. Nie Huaisang offers to stay with him with a smug look on his face that goes unnoticed by everyone except Lan Wangji, who doesn't comment on it.

Jin Guangyao spends the evening tiptoeing around Lan Xichen and blushing every time he speaks to him. Lan Xichen ends up being the first to dance, and Jin Guangyao almost dies when he is asked to join. At some point, Nie Mingjue snatches Lan Xichen's attention and Jin Guangyao looks at him screaming bloody murder.

Wen Ning actually gets a lot more outgoing when he is drunk, but he also knows his limits. He and Wen Qing join Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen on Jin Guangyao's corner table (that he left in order to dance) and they tell him stories about being rogue cultivators that make his heart YEARN. Notably, Wen Ning is also the first one to start with dessert because he simply skips every other course.

Jiang Yanli can and does not drink, and Jin Zixuan wants to make it easier for her by not drinking either, even though she insists he do. Jin Zixuan, much to the surprise of everyone, disappears to the side room around 11:30 and is the one to sleep through midnight. The side room has been cleared of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang since around 10:50, which was when they both reappeared suspiciously flushed and started dancing pretty suggestively. Wei Wuxian thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen and takes videos and pictures until Lan Wangji confiscates his phone.

Jin Guangyao is, at some point, shortly before Jin Zixuan disappears, so drunk that he is about to call his father and yell at him but when Lan Xichen gives him attention he's fine again. Lan Xichen is basically glued to Nie Mingjue's side though, and while Jin Guangyao side-eyes him at first, he soon finds out that drunk!JGY and drunk!NMJ are super well compatible. Lan Xichen feels particularly brave and drinks a glass of wine, after which the three of them are in the mood to become blood brothers and swear and oath to never leave each others' side.

Wei Wuxian snatches Wen Ning from his table around 11:30 and convinces him to dance, which ends in a frankly ridiculous dance battle between the two that Jiang Cheng films until Jiang Yanli takes his phone away.

Wen Qing keeps talking to Xiao Xingchen about medical procedures because it turns out that he also knows stuff about medicine, which she is studying. Song Lan meanwhile goes off and gets Nie Huaisang from the dance floor to chat with him about... things.

Jiang Cheng convinces Jiang Yanli to dance. By then, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are about the same level of drunk and they love each other very much and are very touchy and vocal about it. They make Jiang Yanli dance around with them arm in arm and she thinks it's so sweet that she's nearly in tears (damn those hormones).

Around 11:45, Wei Wuxian has the brilliant idea to dance a polonaise. At this point, Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji are the only ones to still be sober. Everyone joins them, and they even get Wen Qing and Xiao Xingchen away from their intense™ medical talk.

It's almost midnight! Jiang Yanli goes looking for Jin Zixuan who is in a very deep sleep and she decides not to wake him. Lan Xichen and his boyfriends new blood brothers go get the fireworks and hand everyone one of those spark throwing sticks which I don't know the name of in English.

At 11:55, they all gather outside and Wen Qing holds a very serious speech about the importance of new beginnings that she improvised because she can (also because she's a little drunk, too).

Wen Ning and Song Lan are the ones to keep track of the time. Problem is, their watches show different times and by the time they figure out the simplest solution, which is to look at a phone (Xiao Xingchen suggests this is a very dry tone) it is two seconds to midnight. They don't even have time to prepare themselves, they just fall/stumble into hugs and Jiang Yanli gets the champagne and the orange juice for her and Xichen, who does not want to drink more.

Problem is, Wei Wuxian is determined to have a shot with Lan Xichen and he does not stop until he gets his way. After that, Lan Xichen falls head first onto the table and Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue carry him off to the side room before they take their leave (Jin Guangyao is unwilling, but Nie Mingjue insists on taking Nie Huaisang home because he's had a little too much and without either Xichen and Mingjue it's boring for JGY).

Lan Wangji half-carries both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng home around 3pm. The others, except for Jiang Yanli, left around 2. Unfortunately (for LWJ), Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng have made the decision to take the party to WWX' and LWJ's place and they are the ones to stay up until 8am. Including LWJ, who isn't even that tired when Jiang Cheng has collapsed on the couch and he can finally take WWX to bed.

Awkwardness ensures when Lan Xichen and Jin Zixuan wake up next to each other the next morning.

Bruh, this got LONG again. Honestly I love stuff like this so so much haha, nobody ever reads it which is sad but I enjoy writing it!! I hope this somehow answered your question, since it was more of a description of the party than their roles :')

See you tomorrow for the big reveal, CC!💗

#answered #mdzsnetcc

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 10, Part 1 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 29, 30 and 48…again, only kinda because things happen differently in the drama...I guess that’s why they call it an adaptation….]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰+ 🐰+ 🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰

(Each WangXian scene automatically gets one 🐰 even if they’re just thinking of each other; one scene can earn up to five 🐰 depending on intensity of WangXian-ness. Each scene is separated by an “+”)

When I first watched this scene where Wei Ying was equating himself and Lan Zhan to Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, I simply thought Wei Ying was just being flirty and adorable and didn’t attribute much significance to it beyond that, but now, after all that’s happened, it’s become so much more meaningful, especially to Lan Zhan, that not only do I love the moment so much more, but it also makes me feel that much sadder for Lan Zhan because of the almost careless way Wei Ying made the association.  Originally I think he did it as a means to gain Lan Zhan’s favor because Wei Ying sincerely wanted to be his friend and break through that cool exterior that Lan Zhan put up all the time. The romantic in me would like to think it’s also because Wei Ying was also starting to crush on him, butat the same time, realistically, I really don’t think Wei Ying in this point in time was even aware of his true feelings yet so while I don’t doubt his sincerity, his intentions were probably more simplistically platonic.  However, in contrast, for Lan Zhan, who was already “falling” for Wei Ying, the idea automatically embedded itself into his mind, so naturally he began to see Song Lan and XXC’s partnership as a goal in life.  Not only did the two cultivators embody their ideal of living without regrets while helping people, but growing up in a highly regulated environment, Lan Zhan probably also envied their freedom to live freely as they wanted.  

I really appreciate how Team CQL steadily lays down the bricks early on for the foundation of not only Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s relationship but also for Lan Zhan’s character development so certain moments can build upon each other over time. This scene is a prime example of that: even though Lan Zhan didn’t react much to Wei Ying’s words at first, later on, as they were bidding farewell to Song Lan and XXC, the wistful expression on his face as he watched them leave followed by the deliberate way he looked at Wei Ying, again with that same expression, was a pretty good indication of just how much of what Wei Ying said earlier actually resonated with him.  

As time went on and he started to question the principles of his own sect and the cultivation world, I can only imagine how much more he longed to live the life that Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen did, with Wei Ying by his side. Therefore, when everything went so horribly wrong for the two cultivators, it’s no surprise that Lan Zhan took it to heart since it no doubt reminded him of happened to him and Wei Ying.  

Staring Contest

I just love all the many little times the two of them make eye contact, especially since, again, we went from Lan Zhan not even wanting to look at Wei Ying to this, where he almost can’t stop himself from looking his way. Again, brick building. Love it.  

You’re on your own, bro

Wei Ying instinctively protecting Lan Zhan from Xue Yang’s poisonous powder wasn’t surprising, but what did surprise me a little was the fact that he completely left poor Jiang Cheng to fend for himself. Didn’t even attempt to reach out to pull him back. If Jiang Cheng was keeping track of all the times Wei Ying was choosing Lan Zhan over him—and he probably was—that would definitely make his list (along with the aforementioned moment since it did sound like Wei Ying was giving up his place in Lotus Pier to go cultivate with Lan Zhan).  

SongXiao

When I first watched this episode, I remember thinking, “wait, they’re a couple too? How many gay couples are there in this show??” Seeing the way Song Lan swept down to protect XXC, how they called each other by their first names and referred to each other as good/close friends, naturally made me wonder if there was more to their relationship than meets the eye.  Of course the official MDZS answer is no, WangXian is the only gay couple in the story, but obviously Team CQL either didn’t get that memo or decided to ignore it so they can ship to their hearts’ content, or supply enough fodder to let us ship to our heart’s content. Whatever the reason, bless them for giving us these precious morsels which were unique to the drama since by the time we met the two of them in the novel, their lives had already gone to hell.  

I spend most of my time lamenting the suffering that WangXian had to go through before they were finally able to get their happy ending but truth of the matter is Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen probably suffered much more, especially since their ending was so much worse. Because they are called dao zhangs, I have to assume they live as Daoist priests and therefore have the vow of celibacy imposed on them as well, so whatever feelings they have for each other can only be emotionally consummated through chaste companionship and never through carnal fulfillment of any kind. Basically, unlike Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, everydaying could never be an option for them because of their lifestyle and beliefs. Being of much higher cultivation mindset (or so I assume since they’re much more revered), just being able to enjoy each other’s company was probably more than enough for them, and yet, even that they were denied. It’s like, they’re asking for so little and yet they are deprived of that in the most absolute way possible. So now, seeing the image of them walking away together, only fills me with immense sadness for them—I actually got a little teary-eyed over it tonight—knowing they will never be able to even enjoy something as simple as walking side by side with each other like that ever again.

Xue Yang

For how much I feel for SongXiao, again, I really should HATE Xue Yang, but dammit this evil monster is so damn hard to hate. If he was Lucifer in human form, my soul would be totally screwed. Every time I see Xue Yang again I can’t help but like him and want to see even more to him. Wang Haoxuan is very easy on the eyes, so that helps a lot, but it’s not just his looks, it’s also his very effective performance. He just looks like he’s having so much fun and by osmosis Xue Yang becomes fun to watch as well; it’s almost as if his joy at murder and mayhem is infectious. Everything he does works for me, like, I even got delicious excitement chills from just how he appears on the scene at the Yue Yang Chang sect...

...like some kind of sexy, malicious gargoyle of doom. The only other time I felt the same way is when Wei Ying first appeared as the Yiling Patriarch when he returned from the Burial Mounds. I said before that Xue Yang constantly has this DTF aura about him that makes him shippable with just about anyone and everyone, which makes this moment one of my favorites because I think his sexy evil energy was at maximum output while Wei Ying was feeling him down. It’s almost unfair how alluring he is, like all the time. I know his detractors absolutely don’t feel that way, and honestly, I envy being able to so resolutely dislike him.  

XueXiao

Considering all the pain and suffering he caused Xiao Xingchen I sometimes think Xue Yang doesn’t deserve to even be shipped with such a pure angel, but the two actors have such good chemistry it’s hard to resist. I mean, when Xue Yang said that to XXC, I seriously couldn’t wait until they met again and I was hoping we would get to see their future interactions (again, this was when I hadn’t read the novel yet and didn’t know what horrifying things were in store). And I felt this way even though I was already fully supporting SongXiao. I seriously don’t want to know what would have happened if Xue Yang had more interactions with Wei Ying; my WangXian-devoted heart is too afraid to even go there.

To be continued in Part 2...posted

#The Untamed #陈情令 #spoilers #WangXian #Untamed rewatch #Mo Dao Zu Shi #CQL #MDZS #魔道祖师 #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #SongXiao #XueXiao #Wei Ying Wei Wuxian #Lan Zhan Lan Wangji #Song Lan #Xiao Xingchen #Xue Yang #Jiang Cheng

[abiik]

4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 28, 29 + a, b, c, h for xingchen / 1-10 & 15-20 + a, b for zhi yin ?

aaaaaaa thank u for this jo!!!!! sorry this took so long!!! anyway this is. also very LENGTHY so im putting it under a cut <333333

xingchen

4. how easy is it to earn their trust?

it is actually very difficult to earn their trust, only because xingchen doesn’t allow people close enough in order to do so. the very few people who do have their hard-earned trust before the gang comes around is their remaining bio family.

5. how easy is it to earn their mistrust?

i wouldn’t say it’s easy for xingchen to suddenly mistrust you after earning their trust. they actually are the type to hold out for you for far longer than they probably should. while there are like, inklings of mistrust here in there, they’ll probably still trust you to watch their back in a fight and defend you against others who are like ‘xingchen maybe that isn’t a good idea :/’ they have a whole lot of hope & love for the world, though, & it's very hard for them to give up just anyone, especially someone who has previously earned their trust.

6. do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

xingchen was raised that laws are immovable, so they’ve grown up knowing & believing this philosophy for most things. however, as they’ve grown older they’ve realized that maybe they aren’t completely sure about this. perhaps, it can be situational.  

7. what triggers nostalgia for them, most often? do they enjoy that feeling?

snow. winter on the mountain triggers nostalgia for them. seeing the jade amulet & sword that belonged to their mother & the calligraphy set that belonged to their father but mostly snow. they do not enjoy the feeling. they will subject themself to it anyway.  

11. how do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

it mostly depends on where it comes from or who they’re around and what they’re confused about. usually they’ll simply ask to clarify; there’s no use in going into a situation pretending like they know something & they all get themselves killed because of negligence and pride. but…. that pride is exactly what gets the better of xingchen sometimes and it’s fucking hilarious.

28. would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

xingchen would absolutely prefer an unpleasant truth to a lie. they would possibly mumble through it or deliver it stiffly/coldly so as to be detached from the unpleasant feeling, but at least you would know the truth.

29. do they usually live up to their own ideals?

hmm. this is... difficult because so much of xingchen’s ideals were crafted by someone else, expectations put on them by someone else. outwardly, it would seem so. for xingchen, i think that they would always feel as though they have not done enough, or that they could have done something differently; that there is always room for them to improve to become the most perfect version of themself. they’re very tough on themself and i think that it begins getting worse around the second youxiong arc & the aftermath of that & the entirety of new boot goofin arc :)

+

a – why are u excited about this character?

i love xingchen’s energy!! their thoughts and their feelings are something i love to explore as well as like, the way that they’d react to things bc their method is so different than zoe’s. im also excited bc, just. like. the outward perception of xingchen is so different when compared to who they are as a person, unfiltered and raw.

b – what inspired u to create them?

xingchen was the order in the chaos; that’s initially why they were created. the body of their character was this philosophy, to balance zoe, to mirror her. xingchen’s name was something that was conceived almost like, directly after this, and once again, it was a mirror to zoe’s birth name - xian, and the implications behind that. xingchen’s name was mainly chosen bc of the amount of stars that surround their planet: 4. so xingchen’s name & this idea of someone who completed zoe’s balancing act, who ordered the chaos, crafted the idea of a character that was, in a way, the juxtaposition of celestial and earthly (like zoe) but only slightly to the left, wherein even to zoe, this character would be someone you were in awe of. they always sort of felt like the human embodiment of a shooting star, moved by duty and the righting of wrong to come down to earth. xingchen & zoe are technically on the same spectrum, but they have different methods, and that’s what i wanted from xingchen. i wanted a character that did elicit this feeling of awe, because of how amazing, talented, attractive etc. they are, EVEN TO ZOE, but was also intensely stubborn and, initially, very stuck on this ‘my way, or the high-way’ sort of mentality. i WANTED xingchen to create conflict with zoe and zoe to create conflict with xingchen, bc i wanted it to be an opportunity for both characters to be taken out of their comfort zones by each other.

of course, other things, small images, inspired me further when creating a silhouette for xingchen: blue & white; white jade; the sunrise; loquats; clouds; snow on mountain tops; spring; music played on a guqin; ballet & figure skating; swan <3

c – did u have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

hmm i did have trouble figuring out how i would involve them, or any of the rest of youxiong, into zoe’s story after the new boot goofin arc. sure she made off world excursions late in that arc after her recovery, but there wasn’t a lot & my mind was blank. i’m still looking to involve xingchen more maybe bc im not 100% sure on the whole roommates thing.

h – what trait do u admire most?

tbh how deeply xingchen feels things. they don’t communicate it often, it’s difficult for them, both verbally and visually, and sometimes even physically, but they feel everything so, so deeply and that’s. i just really love them a l o t.

zhi yin

1. what’s the maximum amount of time ur character can sit still with nothing to do?

yin can sit still for a moderate amount of time with nothing to do. she fiddles, though, with her fingers or with her clothes, even when she isn’t particularly nervous.

2. how easy is it for ur character to laugh?

it’s fairly easy for yin to laugh if she’s on good terms with you - & this is mostly everyone as she believes the best of everyone, that everyone is generally good.

3. how do they put themselves to bed at night? (reading, singing, thinking?)

yin usually starts by making herself - & cheng – something warm to drink & once she’s assured her brother she’s fine & sent him off to bed, she’ll curl up in bed & read about far away places or an interesting new techniques that she knows she’ll never be able to try until she passes out.

4. how easy is it to earn their trust?

it’s hard for me to gauge how easy it is bc yin DOESN’T trust most ppl. she’s the type of person who looks like she would be easy to win over, & she would be likable & sweet to u, but the only ppl yin is loyal to & trusts at the beginning are cheng, her uncle, and oddly enough, zoe. so like, while she does believe ppl are generally good, this doesn’t mean that she has every intention of falling victim to someone’s wrongdoings or intentions to harm people she cares about bc she trusted blindly on account of this philosophy. she’s cautious, but she doesn’t have this all-around anxiety like cheng, and she isn’t gullible like everyone intends her to be. for yin, i think it is like this: if cheng or zoe trusts you, she will trust you, but she will be cautious, and mostly look to them.

5. how easy is it to earn their mistrust?

i think in order to lose yin’s trust, you would have to lie to her. like, big time. or hurt her family.

6. do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

yin is on the fence with this. with her uncle zhi as one of her mentors & cheng always looking out for her, laws/rules were immovable in order to keep her in a box & (in cheng’s situation) to keep her safe. however, their clan never actually taught them that rules had to be followed so rigidly (they follow a philosophy that one should achieve the impossible) that they were flexible, so i do think yin leans more towards flexible, but has anxiety about acting it out.

7. what triggers nostalgia for them, most often? do they enjoy that feeling?

making soup, walking on the docks, boating out on the river, practicing forms with cheng. yin does enjoy it, even if it is sometimes bittersweet.

8. what were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

stop daydreaming so much. (she wasn’t daydreaming) :)

9. do they swear? do they remember their first swear word?

yin doesn’t swear! not really

10. what lie do they most frequently remember telling? does it haunt them?

‘i’m fine.’/ ‘i feel fine!’ yes.

15. how do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

yin has a soft, pleasant voice. it’s almost like a whisper but its warm & sweet. she has the type of voice that if u were in a crowd, because of the tone of it, u might not be able to hear her even if she was standing next to u & speaking. her tone is always very sincere, or slightly teasing. she can stutter a lot when she’s excited or nervous. yin thinks about what she says usually, but sometimes she does pipe up & blurt what she’s just thought of on the spot. rarely does she raise her voice, but when she does, u know she means business.

16. what makes their stomach turn?

when she goes under. it’s an awful feeling of being disconnected from herself & not knowing what she did while she was out, & seeing everyone’s faces after, looking them in the eye after what she could have possibly done & them seeing what happens to her when she get ‘sick.’

17. are they easily embarrassed?

yes. yin is easily flustered, if that’s the same thing. she fumbles over her words in this case & will fiddle with her hands. crying is sometimes the result of being embarrassed too :) but i would rather not think about yin crying…

18. what embarrasses them?

usually anyone acting particularly brash, or flirty. when she, herself, makes a grand gesture on her own end, and it’s rejected. sometimes being reminded that she can’t cultivate while others can, that she’s a lacking heir.

19. what is their favorite number?

hmm three.

20. if they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do it?

yin might explain familial love as brushing her a-cheng’s hair out of his face & patting his head despite him being taller than her just to piss him off a little, nagging him until he rolls his eyes & does as she says, or finding a blanket tucked over her that clearly wasn’t there before after a late night of reading at her desk. she might explain platonic love as sitting with zoe on the docks with their toes in the water, zoe’s head on her shoulder & both of them spilling their hearts out, or sharing tea & poetry with xingchen for the first time, seeing them blush around the tips of their ears & having to stifle her giggles until they finally broke the tension with a laugh of their own. yin doesn’t know how to explain the difference of romantic love yet.

+

a – why are u excited about this character?

yin has so many different, like, facets & she’s really fun to think about. i really love thinking about her dynamic with zoe, but i especially love to think about her dynamic with others in the group & how she might get along with them & how their relationships will progress. she’s really sweet & is willing to help people out of the good will of her heart but still holds them at a distance & is like…disconcerting in a way, and that’s a character i’m pretty sure i’ve never had before, so she’s pretty new to me.

b – what inspired u to create them?

yin remained a mystery to me for so long, hence why her name is yin. she was like a little shadow. she remains a little shadow. a secret still. something i, and everyone, has yet to figure out. a dark spot with a gentle smile that stayed at zoe’s side. she’s the shadow in the pond that you arent too sure is a stick or a snake or not, but you keep creeping closer to anyway bc you think if it were a snake it would have made some move to get closer to you by now. and yin’s not a snake. she’s the turtle in this story. or a shell, perhaps. a lucky dark little tortoise shell. she can be a little scary at times, as the person creating her, and for the other characters interacting with her, but also she comes off as completely harmless. like a lake or a river wide and deep enough to swim in. yin has really just been fragments and pieces, little ideas here and there, that have come together to create a very healing, loving character that just has an overwhelming flood of love pouring out from her at all times.

there was also the idea, story-wise, of wanting to create a character that doesn’t become friends with zoe specifically bc of a shared interest/goal – yin doesn’t want to kill her uncle; she genuinely wants to be zoe’s friend. they do share traits & like. actual interests – they’re both family oriented, hence why yin wouldn’t want to kill her family – but yin isn’t zoe’s loyal-ass friend bc they have a similar moral code or bc they had similar goals & became close over the course of the mission etc. like jason, for example. the lotus is a big symbol for yin as well, which connects her directly to zoe, who is representative of the center.

ask me some q’s about my ocs!!

#h talks. #h replies. #jo #shrined #oc: xingchen #oc: zhi yin #oc asks #this is so long & it took so long JO IM SO SORRY #BUT !!! IT WAS ALSO SO MUCH FUN !! #SO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! #<33333 #IM REALLY HAPPY TO SHARE #also thank you for waiting so patiently #i hope this is coherent enough & that i understood the questions ?? sjkjdkje #ANYWAY !! I LOVE YOU #long post /

[theuntamedproject]

"If the face says nothing, listen to the heartbeat" - Lan WangJi, Mo Dao Zu Shi (Weeks 3+4)

https://zhtheuntamedprojec.wixsite.com/theuntamedproject 

... those who have read the novel know the real context of this line in the scene BUT taken out of context and used in a completely different (*cough* our) scenario..."If the face says nothing," translates to "Even if we seem calm on the outside,""listen to the heartbeat." translates to "we're so stressed to the point of ventricular fibrillation." (dunno if that's even a likely story but the overly exaggerated point still stands: we just handed our uni applications in and we're dreading admission tests and awaiting interviews...)

Quick overview

So aside from school work and university prep, TUP has taken up whatever spare moment either one of us has. However since Zara's Physics coursework began (good luck Zara!!) and both of us prepping for our respective admissions tests, we've decided instead of marching onwards with research on architecture and other food science related stuff, to settle on more relaxed Google seshes on MDZS (and totally not using this as an excuse to read the source text again) and beginning to design the buildings on CAD and paper.

So I'm going to introduce to you the barebones framework of what we plan to include in the design: characters, buildings and effects~ apologies in advance for not including the accents/tones in names (I cba tbh ;-; )

Characters

Because all these little dudes are just going to be cut out gingerbread men, we could include as many characters as possible (we did say we're making a universe are we not?). Those in italics are "maybe" characters depending on the dough remaining (or whether we like them to be part of the universe or not...) or how much gingerbread we're willing to eat ourselves (though huge shout out to everyone thats offered to eat our spare and broken gingerbread during materials testing - which I will get to a bit later :3)

Gusu Lan (the pretty sect)

Lan XiChen / Lan Huan (Sect Leader - simped so hard for his sworn brothers that both of them ended up dead)

Lan WangJi / Lan Zhan (repressed gay but we love him still)

Lan Yuan / Lan Sizhui (he's part of the Lan sect now goddamnit)

Lan JingYi (the most unLan Lan yet has the highest chance of being the next sect leader lmaoo)

Lan QiRen

Lan Yi / Lan An

QingHeng-Jun (Twin Jades' father)

Madam Lan (Twin Jades' mother)

Yunmeng Jiang (arguably the only "normal" sect here...)

Jiang Cheng / Jiang Wanyin (Sect Leader also an "angry grape" as put by Zara)

Jiang YanLi (OUR QUEEN)

Jiang FengMian (loved Wei Ying more than Jiang Cheng lol jk xd)

Yu ZiYuan (BAMF)

Wei Ying not included here since technically he defected from the Sect (; - ;)

Qinghe Nie (fans and sabers my bros)

Nie HuaiSang (Sect Leader - yeah, I can't believe it either)

Nie MingJue (noooooooooo)

Honestly, I swear this clan is either "big muscles or big brain?". If you have neither, you can't be part of their clique. I mean sect.

Lanling Jin (rich rich rich rich rich)

Jin Ling / Jin RuLan (Sect Leader - totally not named after Wei Ying's crush/ husband's family)

Jin GuangYao / Meng Yao (*smiles*)

Jin ZiXuan (peacock but JYL's husband nonetheless)

Jin GuangShan (gross)

Jin ZiXun (double gross)

Mo XuanYu (literally did not sign up to any of this. He just wanted to end his suffering at Mo Manor)

We decided against including everyone from Mo Manor since they literally died within the first few chapters of the novel / first episode of the drama so were kinda irrelevant. Also, we don't care about them like we care for the Lan Sect members either.

Off topic side rant, Zara has been on my case whenever I bring up Jin GuangYao. I have to say, he's way more lovable in the drama than in the novel (didn't really leave much of an impression on me in the novel, NHS did a better job at that). I'm here to briefly explain why this boy is misunderstood and deserved more than what he got (and also why you should love him because he deserves love).JGY is a poor soul who's goal in life was to please others because no one was ever satisfied with him. His mother wasn't satisfied. His father wasn't satisfied. Hell, even his sworn brother NMJ wasn't satisfied with him eventually. BUT GUESS WHAT Xichen the angel is the only person that showed any love or thanks to JGY that's why he didn't kill him in the end - he wouldn't kill people that actually cared about him. IF ONLY EVERYONE ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO HOW CLEVER AND CUNNING THIS MAN WAS, THERE MAY NOT EVEN BE WENS THREATENING THE WORLD. end of brief rant.

Qishan Wen (too hot, hot damn)

Wen RuoHan (Sect Leader - could have taken over the world if his children weren't incompetent)

Wen Qing (half the reason why included this sect)

Wen Ning / Wen QiongLin (the other half of the reason)

Wen Yuan (WE NEED THIS BABIE ALONGSIDE SIZHUI OK)

Wen Chao (questionable)

Wen ZhuLiu (also questionable but less annoying than Wen Chao)

Rogue cultivators (including people we didn't really know where to put)

Wei WuXian / Wei Ying (Can work out how to cultivate resentful energy, fight against the biggest cultivation clans in the world and gain a formidable reputation as the Yiling Patriarch yet can't figure out that Lan Zhan has a crush on him. Makes it look like cultivating resentful energy is easy as pie.)

CangSe SanRen (Wei Ying's mother)

Wei ChangZe (Wei Ying's father)

Xiao XingChen (honestly, the nicest guy ever. Could rival Xichen in terms of kindness. But then again... where did that kindness lead either of them? Moral of story: screw kindness)

Song Lan (Wen Ning's dead buddy~)

Xue Yang (he was cool in the novel, a bit questionable in the drama ngl)

A-Qing (didn't report her situation to the police...)

Baoshan Sanren (without knowledge of her existence, Jiang Cheng may have given up on life after he lost his golden core)

Ouyang ZiZhen (I didn't know who he was at all from the novel (ie he left no impression) but since he's technically part of the juniors, we have to include him)

Wang Ling Jiao / Jiao Jiao (just so Wen Chao has a friend perhaps... I don't know if we're that kind)

Su She (ew. just. He's not our favourite. The whole thing could have gone smoother if he didn't exist)

Luo Qingyang / Mian Mian (that one girl that made Wei Ying think Lan Zhan was straight)

Whew! That's all the character's we've considered! We have yet to come up with individual designs for the clothes and what not but at least we know there are going to be straight up cutting them out using the gingerbread man cutters.

Also! let's not forget:

Li'l Apple (didn't sign up for any of this either)

Fairy (gift from JGY to JL, also good doggo)

All the bunnies in Gusu (yes.)

All the fans and sabers in Qinghe (it's part of their aesthetic)

Locations and Buildings

This section's going to be MUCH shorter than the previous one haha since we've basically come up with 5 main buildings and in 7 locations. We're planning these buildings to be architectural masterpieces (okay, that's a slight exaggeration but that's the point). These buildings will take SIGNIFICANTLY more time than the gingerbread characters and is the reason we've put so much effort into researching what would make the most stable type of building. This is because we've planned to mirror the buildings as close as possible to the drama. We haven't yet drawn 2D sketches as I've left that job mostly to Zara (sorry!) so it's sort of hard to describe in words but by next post, we hope to have these down~ (though please see the mood boards from Zara's post previously)~

Gusu Lan - Cloud Recesses

The Wall of Discipline

The Courtyard

The Orchid Room (the main classroom/hall)

Yunmeng Jiang - Lotus Pier

The Main Pier

Lotus Pod Lake

Qinghe Nie - The Unclean Realm

The Main Courtyard and stairs

Lanling Jin - Koi Tower

Koi Tower

Qishan Wen - Nightless City

Main building and stairs

Yiling - Burial Grounds

The Mountains (and farms/Wen settlements)

Demon-Slaughtering Cave

And of course, Yi City.

We don't know if we want to include any more places but we'll let you know if there are any changes to this list. Plus the effects of LEDs and other arts and craft jazz besides gingerbread, we plan to make sure each Sect get's their own spotlight~

Please enjoy our baby Cloud Recesses, they're going to grow up and be a fine specimen of society worthy of the Lan name :D

The plan going forward

Although unfortunately, things haven't gone totally to plan due to fairly busy circumstances, we still have some major events along the way before starting to build the whole thing (which would probably be around mid-to-end of December) which have indeed started preparing for. Including:

Material testing gingerbread and icing (ie finally, bringing our research to the real world) - a lot of gingerbread will be made, so thank you to the willing volunteers who wanted to eat our failed experiments!

Finding / creating a suitable recipe for the gingerbread people

2D and 3D sketches of the buildings

Designing costumes for the gingerbread people

Another thing that we kinda want to do is to make this project benefit the wider community (we wanted to set up a GoFundMe at some point and raise some money for charity~). But we don't know how to do that as of yet T-T . Any ideas, feel free to contact us and let us know! We want to help others through this project (if at all possible haha)!

#mdzs #update #characters #gingerbread #gusulan #yunmengjiang #qinghenie #lanlingjin #qishanwen #weiying #lanzhan

[local-void-creature-izzy]

Considering I am now XueXiao trash here’s another take on the second part (and i guess the first part as well) of my fic. Also I am working and planning a whole multi chapter fic with a modern au created by me but I’m still working some things out, you’ll know when i have started when i start giving bios for the characters I’m using in that au. Anyways onward to this second version:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who’s that with him?” Song Lan asked the young girl that lead him through coffin town even though he already knew who that was sitting all too comfortably on Xingchen’s lap.

“Hm? Oh you mean Chengmei? He’s been with us for a while now, few years actually. Daozhang and I found him nearly dead on the side of the road and Daozhang saved him. They are actually cultivation partners whatever that means. Chengmei told me its like being married but stronger.” Said Qing to the stranger she brought with her.

Song Lan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He tried not to show it though and continued questioning Qing. “And what do you know about this Chengmei if you don’t mind me asking?” He said. “Your a strange Daozhang but I know his name is actually Xue Yang, Chengmei is his courtesy name. Only Daozhang is allowed to call him by his birth name. I know Chengmei likes sweets and can act very bratty and childish but that’s only when he wants something. I know he was a bad person before he met us but he’s changed and hasn’t committed a crime since. And I know Daozhang loves him very much, I see it in the way he looks at him.” Qing said very confidently, causing even more shock to go through Song Lan.

“H-He can see? Xiao Xingchen can see?” He questioned, almost not believing it. “Yes he can see strange Daozhang. Chengmei created a technique that allows the caster to give something up of themselves in exchange for whatever they wish to give the other person. Chengmei gave up his voice to restore Daozhang eyes, he can still talk but it’s painful at times and it’s slowly getting worse. I think that’s why Daozhang is so protective and rarely leaves his side, I think Daozhang is scared that if he leaves and comes back...that Chengmei’s voice will be permanently gone and he’ll never hear that last I love you from him. Well I’ll leave you to it strange Daozhang, I’m returning to the market.” Said Qing as she turned around and left. Neither aware that Xue heard the whole conversation.

Xue could hear Song Lan slowly approaching so he wait until Song Lan was in earshot before speaking. “You were so rough last night XingXing. I can barely feel anything from the waist down.” He pouted, but not before noticing how Song Lan froze in place. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say my husband was jealous. Was it the girl at the shop? Or the guy on the way back?” He teased.

“I have no reason to be jealous A-Yang. Because you are mine. And if I was, well I didn’t hear you complaining last night.” Xingchen said with that ever so rare smirk, Xue lightly whacked him on the arm while blushing red. “Yah for as sweet and kind and caring you are, you are very dirty minded when you want to be-“ Xue cut himself off, he felt a pain in his chest before the coughing fit started up, immediately Xingchen was pulling Xue closer and was worried. “A-Yang is it happening again? Do you need your medicine?” He asked.

“I-I’m fine XingXing....It’s just a coughing fi-“ Again he couldn’t finish his sentence because the coughing out worse, and it just kept on going until finally he coughed up blood. “A-Yang you are not fine, it’s getting bad again.” Xingchen said as he picked up Xue bridal style and carried him inside to their home, Song Lan’s presence completely unnoticed by him. He placed Xue onto the bed and went to grab some towels and his medicine.

Once he had them, he began cleaning Xue’s hands. “You shouldn’t force yourself to speak Xue if its starts hurting, I hate seeing you like this.” Xingchen said, worried laced in his tone. The blood quickly cleaned up and he gave Xue the medicine that had been helping with the pain. “Wait here okay, I’m going to go get Qing. It’s getting late.”

Xue just nodded in response and watched as his husband walked out the door. It was quiet for about 5 seconds before the door was kicked in. “Xue Yang.” Said Song Lan, as for Xue he immediately grabbed his sword. “I don’t know how you did it but you managed to trick them into thinking you’ve actually changed. I give you props on that, but your game ends here.” Song Lan drew his sword and made his way to attack Xue, determined to end his life here and now. Of course he knew it wasn’t going to be easy as Xue immediately blocked his attack and sent him flying into the table behind him.

Song Lan prepared for an attack as he quickly tried to stand but instead Xue made a run for the now busted door and ran straight towards the gate of the town. But Song Lan wouldn’t allow him to escape, he chased after him and sent attack after attack but Xue blocked and dodged them all. “Leave me alone Song Lan!” Xue yelled, his voice hoarse from the medicine and coughing fit he had, but Song Lan wasn’t letting up. If this keeps up then sooner rather than later Song Lan will find out the other thing Xue gave up to restore Xingchen’s eyes. “I said...LEAVE ME ALONE!” Xue yelled louder and knocked Song Lan back with the strongest kick he could muster, sending him flying into one of the empty homes.

Xue took this chance and ran past the gates of coffin town and into the forest. He’ll be fine, he was going to be just fine. He just had to make it to Xingchen before Song Lan caught up with him. “Xingchen! XINGCHEN WHERE ARE YOU!” He yelled, voice completely destroying him but he didn’t care, he had to find his husband. He continued running through the forest, not daring to stop, when he finally saw them in the distance and relief engulfed his body. “XINGXING! XING-“ Blood then spilled from his mouth, he gasped, he tried speaking but no words came out. Merely gargled noises.

‘No...Nononononono! Not now! Please not now!’ He panicked in his mind, his voice can’t have given out on him now. But no matter how many times he tried speaking, no words came out and soon the noises stopped all together and no sound at all came from him. But he didn’t have time to dwell on it, instead he continued running towards them and didn’t stop until he threw himself into Xingchen’s arm. “Xue? A-Yang what’s wrong? Your shaking.” Xingchen questioned. Xue couldn’t tell him though, he rapidly tapped his throat and tried mouthing words out. “A-Yang....No your voice-“ Xingchen was cut off by a yell behind Xue and he instantly pushed Xue behind him and blocked the oncoming attack, and he was not expecting the one that did it. “S-Song Lan...?” His voice going weak on him as well.

“Xiao Xingchen, please move. You are being tricked by that man. That is Xue Yang, he must be punished and killed.” Song Lan said, but Xingchen refused to move. “Song Lan please calm down, we can talk this out. I will not move.” Xingchen said. But Song Lan didn’t want to hear it and that’s when the fight broke out.

Xue saw them fighting as Qing tried to clean the blood and keep him away from getting involved but it was like it was all happening so slow, they were yelling at each other and saying things but Xue couldn’t hear any of it, his ears were ringing. It felt like hours they fought until Song Lan got behind Xingchen and used a talisman to freeze him in place. “I’m sorry Xiao Xingchen but this must be done...” Song Lan said and made his way to Xue and he was approaching fast. Qing jumped in between them to try to stop Song Lan but Xue refused to let her get killed for his sake.

Just as she prepared for the impact of the sword, Xue pushed her back and blocked it with his double bladed sword, he had been trying so hard to avoid using it anymore than he should but it was too late now. Now not only was blood spilling from his mouth, but now it fell from his nose. “You...You don’t have a golden core...?” Song Lan questioned.

Xue sent him flying and the over-usage of what little spiritual energy he had left was catching up to him, his legs gave out on him and he was hacking up even more blood. “Chengmei!” Qing yelled, she bent down in front of him and blocked Song Lan off. “Strange Daozhang please stop! Chengmei is not a threat! We know who he is and what he has done in the past but that doesn’t define him anymore! He’s been through too much and now he can no longer speak!” She yelled.

“Your very young so I understand if you don’t fully know the situation. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill this demon.” He said, and Qing was quick to respond. “Because he is with child! Yeah, you cultivators have so many different tailsmens and techniques so why not one that allows men to bare children. You wouldn’t dare kill an unborn child now would you?” She asked trying to buy time with her little trick, and while Song Lan was at a lost for words Xue quietly pulled out his Stygian Tiger Amulet. Xingchen saw this and forced every nerve in his body to break free from the talisman, he succeeded despite the blood he was coughing up. 

“A-YANG DON’T!” Xingchen yelled, but before anyone of them could move...Xue used it. Those all familiar black vein like markings appeared up his neck and it was obvious it was painful for him to use it with so little spiritual energy. Xue used to it lift up Song Lan and threw him against a tree, hard enough to knock him out in the least. 

It finally ended, both the fight...and him. Xue felt very lightheaded and his legs gave out on him once again but this time he didn’t hit the floor, Xingchen caught him before he could. “Hey, hey stay with me A-Yang. Its going to be okay, everything is going to be fine.” Xingchen said, his arms trembling as he held Xue close to him. Qing was also trembling out of her mind, she finally had a family and she was about to lose it. “Chengmei if you die now I’ll never f-forgive you!” She said through tears.

Xue gave a gentle smile to both, he put the amulet in Xingchen’s hand along with a spirit pouch, the injuries that Song Lan inflicted on him and the over usage of his spirit energy was catching up to him. With a heavy shaking hand, he pulled Xingchen down into a kiss. It was gentle and soft and so fragile yet held so much emotion behind it. And then it ended, Xue gave his last breathe, the light disappeared from his eyes...he was gone. “No...Nonononononono A-Yang stay with us! A-Yang please!” Xingchen yelled but it was too late, Xue Yang was no more.

It broke him, he let a bloodcurdling scream that would shake anyone to their core. “D-Daozhang what about the things he gave you, I heard h-him give you something.” Qing managed to get out through the flood of tears that spilled down her face. And she was right, Xue gave him a spirit pouch so he quickly used to capture Xue Yang’s spirit before it could disappear and when he caught it...it broke him more.

Because the soul that was known as Xue Yang was shattered into multiple tiny pieces beyond repair expect for one person....Wei Wuxian aka the Yiling Laozu.

#mo dao zu shi #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #song lan #xue yang #xiao xingchen #xuexiao #a qing #mdzs #mdzs fic #mdzs fanfiction #au

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?

Role-reversed!AU (Song[Xiao]Xue): “Love at First Sight”

[villain!SL/investigator!XY]

[title is from a Kylie Minogue’ song and from nowhere else fight me]

[so. me is embarrassed to say this but. the idea comes from an Italian movie of the late 90’s.]

[which is to say that: (1) Italian comedies are rarely my thing bc they are (pardon my French, I don’t feel like switch to Italian rn) problematique most of the times; (2) it’s been 10 or so years since I last saw this particular movie and even if at the time I liked it I was probably sixteen at the time so... not the best judge also my memory is shit for actual plot points; (3) internalized homophobia runs in the Italian film industry; (4) it deals with criminal gangs and, even if the movie makes fun of them, it is still a sore topic in my country so... I’m not gonna go in detail for this ficlet. it is, in fact, just a prompt; (5) also there is a cop character and... well, I changed it into a private investigator bc fuck it; (6) ignore me, I’m emotional tonight.]

*

Married off. Him. To a lovely girl, for sure, but with a penchant for pickpocketing and letting her mouth run at the most inconvenient of times. The wedding is in six months. Song Lan has to laugh at that.

But Mother has been almost too complacent with him for the longest time, allowing him to play his games and get it on with too many women for him to care to keep track of. He may or may not have disrespected some of them and their powerful families in the past for being a serial womanizer. There’s a logic behind it, of course, but since his eye surgery he cannot seem to remember what that could have possibly been at the time.

The worst of all being that he doesn’t remember why he ever found women attractive in the first place. People of the Baixue Clan tried to cheer him up to no avail for months. They took him to brothels, called in his favorite rent-girls, tipped them extra, brought him out of town on vacation to distract him, but... nothing.

He feels like crying sometimes. He’s done. Broken. Nobody will ever take him seriously anymore now that he’s nothing but his mommy’s boy. Forget for a minute that his mother is keeping the entire Yi City in check by enforcing her law on other clans. Let alone that her word has ruled over rascals and rogue hotheads for decades just by letting them hear her name. BaoShan Sanren would have not forgiven him for turning down the daughter of a competing family, that’s for sure.

Sometimes Song Lan looks down at himself, dressed in ridiculously flashy buttondowns open at the collar, with black jackets and fitting trousers, embezzled shoes on his long feet... and he wants to shriek. He hates everything about himself and he doesn’t know where to start. He doesn’t recognize himself anymore, almost as if his mind had changed about everything he believed to know.

At least he can see again. That should be enough, right?

*

It should have seen it fucking coming, Xue Yang knows this much.

A bullet to the heart would have hurt him less, but it’s been a year since his husband’s death and he’s done. He’s fucking done. Throwing himself away like that, recklessly accepting new cases one after the other just because. He’s got nothing to come home for anyway.

But as he disinfects the slash of a dagger on his shoulder, he wonders if there’s more to life than this. A dirty bathroom where he and his husband used to shave in the morning together before work. A stuffy apartment filled with unwanted memories. Mold on the ceiling, laughter rising to the sky every night before Xiao XingChen died. Before everything else left with him.

Xue Yang flinches when the alcohol stings badly on the cut and he chugs some vodka down for good measure as he prepares to stitch the gaping wound back together. The flame scorches the needle until it becomes almost white and he wonders, not for the first time, how it would feel to just... stop. He cried so much he doesn’t have tears left anymore.

The last time he saw his husband’s beautiful face it was at the morgue, where a dispassionate woman in white had asked him to confirm his identity. She asked him if he had formally agreed to put his husband’s name on the list of organ donors. He refused in the beginning... and then thought about it. About what his righteous husband would have wanted him to do.

Letting go of him –of any part of him, really– so soon tore him apart.

Since there was nothing left of Xiao XingChen, it was just right for not a single thing of Xue Yang to be left in his wake as well.

Well, aside from the pain. But that was to be expected after all.

He had never deserved anything but pain in his life.

Fuck that. Fuck that shit.

*

Mother asked him to look for a mole in the group, but he found a mere nobody snooping around in their area instead. Searching for what, he doesn’t know. But, as he crowds the other man in a dark alley behind the secret entry of their club, Song Lan cannot help himself from staring.

The laundromat from where their regular patrons usually enter to play is open 24/7, the flickering light coming from its open door casting just... the loveliest shadows on the younger man’s face. He’s shorter, much shorter than him. Possibly in his early thirties. Dressed nicely with a gun pointed at Song Lan... but he doesn’t care.

It’s almost as if something has fallen back in its original place and Song Lan is filled with elation. He has never felt more relieved or happy in his life. It feels like a second chance at life, an opportunity he doesn’t want to let slide through his fingers this time around.

He grasps the other man’s hand holding the gun and directs it upwards in a swift move. A bullet cuts through the air as he pushes the shorter man up to the laundromat window, neon lights dancing on Song Lan’s face. Soon people from the club will rush to his aid, knowing full well that he’s out looking for a snitch. He doesn’t have time, so he takes a good look at the person at his mercy.

He knows him.

And he falls in love, immediately.

*

The shot still rings in his ear, the gun burning in his outstretched hand, now caught in a vicious grasp. Xue Yang flinches as he looks up and gets ready to defend himself. He was just following a useless son of a bitch lying to his wife about not playing cards and losing all of their money. He would have never thought it would turn so bad so soon. Usually he gets away quickly enough, running for his life as usual...

...but this is different.

His gaze meets Xiao XingChen’s eyes and he freezes on the spot. He would recognize them anywhere, the same glassy quality to them, the same softness around them. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Because the one in front of him looks nothing like his husband.

And yet he knows him.

He knows what it feels to be looked with fondness and longing by one Xiao XingChen.

Fuck, he missed that.

He missed that so much.

*

[additional nonsense under the cut, bc. I am me]

[the original movie is a comedy, but I saw this post while I was writing the prompt and now it’s a fucking urban-noir kind of deal baby!]

[am I procrastinating another ficlet (slowly turning into a 20k monster bc I’m stupid) by writing this prompt instead? no. what are you talking about?]

[i wanted SL to have a family, but I had no idea what the people at the Temple would have looked like or acted around him, so I imagined BaoShan Sanren hoarding children as she goes (which is canon anyway) but she’s a villain in this bc I’m an asshole.]

[SL is the only one of her children to have an actual father, hence he’s the only one with a last name different from Sanren (which I know is a title but let. me. live. *kissy face* :* :* :* many thanks.]

[I offer Lan QiRen as a tribute for fatherhood, even if I know SL’s surname is written like “mist”, while the Lan Sect is named after the character for “blue”. but let me dream.]

[also I just like the idea of SL’s auntie or big sister being WWX’s mother for no other reason that this is a silly prompt and I need to fill these additional notes with something vaguely resembling a plot.]

[if you want another role-reversed!au check this other (wangxian) prompt of mine. then check all the others and have fun.]

[in the movie there was a scene where the widower runs on a horse to save the man he (begrudgingly) has come to care about from his wedding.]

[for the majority if not the entirety of the movie the widower sees something of his dead wife in the criminal (who received the wife’s eyes through transplant) and denies any attraction to him until the end... even if he runs away with him.]

[the criminal has changed since the transplant and became somewhat a decent person. in the end he runs away with the widower.]

[I wanted actual romance, not plausible deniability, thanks. hence this stupid prompt someone might like, maybe.]

[if you write something based on this prompt (the most angsty or hurt/comfort-y the better, but also fluff or *coughs*smut*coughs* is good) send me an ask. I want to read it! :D]

ok now I go back to my 20k-and-counting monster fic. bye!!

#songxuexiao #songxue #xiaoxue #mdzs #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #cql #the forbidden crack! untamed prompts #mdzs/au: modern #mdzs/au: noir #mdzs/au: role-reversed

[adhd-wifi]

Welp I guess I’ve been enabled…here’s a Vocaloid-song inspired MDZS ficlet, set in an AU world based on the song. Not gonna lie...this was a lot harder than I expected it to be omg. 

Song it’s based off: Blessed Messiah and the Tower of Ai, ひとしずく×やま△ （Hitoshizuku_Yamasankakkei） because it’s my favourite one

Bonus: A really, really, really good English Dub cover which I lifted a line from

Warning: Major Character Death, A LOT of Sadness, No Happy Ending, Extremely Limited Dialogue, OOC Wei Ying because it’s hard to bring out his character with this story for me, also several creative liberties were taken to blend the two very different stories together ;-;

The world fell apart years ago, when the heavens turned on humanity without warning. The cultivational sects were the first to go, directly targeted by the gods, and once they were gone, the common folk suffered endless calamity.

One immortal spirit took pity on humanity, and offered them a single chance at salvation. She offered a trial of sorts, that one day, she would choose a child of the cultivators and invite them to her mountain. If they were to pass her trial, she would convince the heavens to grant humanity another chance.

For the first few years, humanity became obsessed with finding the chosen one. But whoever they were meant to be, it was never revealed. Some wanted to believe this meant the chosen one had already succeeded in secret, while others feared what they were sure was an inevitable end to the world, as the spirits became more fearsome, as the lands began to die and the skies began to darken, little by little. Eventually, the immortal’s secret was considered no more than a cruel lie. 

But even in the face of the bleak reality, there was a small group of people, the last surviving members of the Five Great Cultivation Sects, who found refuge in each other in a small area of Yiling. The group of survivors have long since shed their sect colours, and acted as the town’s protectors, but other than that, lived amongst the common folk. It was hard for them at first, as they fought harshly amongst themselves in their grief, the only thing keeping them together being a threat of having nowhere else to go. But over time, they learned to live with each other, and eventually, this small, random group of survivors learned to consider one another as family, promising to always ‘face all their fortunes and pain as one’.

It was from this small, found family, that the chosen one was revealed. 

A blind man in white appeared in their town, seeking Wei WuXian to ascend BaoShan SanRen’s mountain, to take on the trial. The man, who called himself Xiao XingChen, told Wei WuXian that he may have a few days to prepare, and will be allowed to bring as many people as he liked to assist him. Despite the fact that Xiao XingChen also warned him that he might not return alive, Wei WuXian accepted the honours, happy to know that he had a chance to put an end to the calamity that plagued the world. 

A few days later, Wei WuXian headed towards the mountain with his family. He had been surprised that all of them had wanted to come. Perhaps they feared he truly would not return, and wanted to keep him company until the very end. 

They met Xiao XingChen once again at the foot of the mountain, and he gave Wei WuXian a lantern to carry to the top. He explained that they were to find at least one of the nine blessings, hidden along the path, to light the lantern with. Only with the lantern lit would the gates to BaoShan SanRen’s home open. But, he warned them to be careful, as the people could possibly react...unpredictably to the blessings. Then, Xiao XingChen disappeared. 

They soon came across the first blessing, a glowing blue light sitting innocently on a stone pedestal within a small, closed pavilion standing in the shore of a beautiful lake. Above the doors were the words “The Blooming Wave”. Wei WuXian excitedly headed inside, distracted by the calming, soothing surge of power, unaware of his adoptive father following close behind. 

As Wei WuXian reached out with his lantern, Jiang FengMian’s hand grabbed his tightly. Wei WuXian startled, looking up at his adoptive father in confusion. For a brief moment, Jiang FengMian smiled a kind smile, like he always did, but then, that smile twisted into an unnatural, smirk as he flung Wei WuXian out of the pavilion. Wei WuXian watched in horrow as the blue light engulfed Jiang FengMian, as his adoptive father called out his final words to him. 

“We will face all our fortunes and pain as one.”

The doors to the pavilion slammed shut, and Wei WuXian screamed as the entire structure crumbled into nothing, taking Jiang FengMian with it. Behind him, however, the others also reacted in horror, screaming and crying, but something felt wrong. Something felt...sinister. A dark mist seemed to settle around them, and Wei WuXian shook as struggled to his feet. 

The first blessing had been stolen away by Jiang FengMian, and now, the rest of his family, there...there was something wrong. However, the path back down the mountain had been obscured in a dense mist, and there was little choice but to keep going. 

There were words of encouragement, but Wei WuXian was scared. They had accepted Jiang FengMian’s actions and disappearance too easily. What...what was this?

The second blessing was in a pavilion that sat in the middle of a ring of fire, “The Banquet of Flames”. Before Wei WuXian could do a thing, Yu ZiYuan harshly shoved him aside, throwing him into the arms of his brother as she claimed the blessing for herself. Wei WuXian’s scream was caught in his throat when she turned back to glare at him with fiery hatred, like she once did back when their sect still stood proud. It was his last image of her as she, too, vanished with the pavilion. 

Again, and again, it happened. 

At the third blessing, in a pavilion that faced the rising sun, “The Grace of Sunlight” was snatched away by a sneering, proud Wen Qing. 

At the fourth blessing, hidden in the depths of the lightless cave, a resentful Wen Ning claimed “The Peace of Darkness”. 

Wei WuXian didn’t understand. What was happening? Why was this happening? Why would they do this? Were they possessed? Were they trying to claim glory for saving the world as well? But they wouldn’t do such a thing! They weren’t those kinds of people! So why...?!

He tried to separate himself from them, but there was only one path to follow. There was only one way up and no other direction to go, the dense mist that hid the path home threatening to swallow them all up if they tried. He tried to move faster, but they all managed to keep up, even his sister. Wei WuXian was so confused, so lost, but most of all, so, so scared. He began to hear whispers in his mind, sounding suspiciously like his family’s voices, telling him to ‘share his fortunes’, how he ‘shouldn’t keep such glory to himself’. 

He didn’t understand, he didn’t understand! He wasn’t doing this for the fortunes or glory! He was the chosen one, but he only wanted to live peacefully with the ones he loved!

And yet...there was nothing he could do to stop them from leaving him. 

At the fifth blessing, Jin ZiXuan gave a haughty, arrogant scoff as he entered the pavilion made of glimmering metals and claimed “The Trembling Earth”. 

At the sixth blessing, Jiang Cheng tamed the lightning that shielded the pavilion using ZiDian, before letting out a near maniacal laugh as he took “The Thunder’s Roar”.

With his brother gone, Wei WuXian’s faith in them began to truly crumble. Did they really all set out to betray him? Was it because he did something wrong in the past? Was it because he had turned to demonic cultivation during the calamity years ago? Was it his fault? Was he chosen so he could suffer the gods’ punishment and watch his family die? 

Was it his fault?

At the seventh blessing, Lan XiChen played a joyful tune as he practically danced into the floating pavilion, disappearing along with “The Whirlwinds of Melody”. 

Wei WuXian wanted to stop, to end it before he lost the last two people he loved. But the mist pursued them, forcing them forward. His sister and lover pushed him forward, muttering words of encouragement, and they managed to convince him to trust them. They were...they wouldn’t...

But...They did.

At the eight blessing, Jiang YanLi shoved Wei WuXian into his lover’s arms, and Wei WuXian cried out for her to stop. He begged and pleaded for her not to go, but she never answered him. Instead, she turned back to look at him, her apparent tears of joy frozen by the cold of the pavilion of ice, as the doors closed for her and “The Sliver Snow Garden”. 

And finally, at the ninth blessing, Wei WuXian was pushed back by Lan WangJi, as he hurriedly rushed forth towards the pavilion that sat in a pool of lava, reaching out to claim the “The Quickening Magma”. 

As Wei WuXian desperately called his name, like Jiang YanLi did before him, Lan WangJi turned back to look at him one last time, as his forehead ribbon came loose and fluttered away from him. The doors slammed shut and the pavilion disappeared like all the others, and just like that, the last of the blessings were lost along with the last of his beloved family. 

Wei WuXian clutched the forehead ribbon that landed in his hands, falling to his knees as he began sobbing and wailing like a broken child. The unlit lantern lay abandoned at his feet, but he couldn’t care less about that. How could he care about the stupid lantern? How could he care about the stupid trial that took the ones he loved away from him?!

How could he care about the fate of the world, when his whole world had just been snatched away from him? 

He stayed like that for a long time, never even noticing how the mist hadn’t moved at all. The pool of lava that once held the last pavilion had cooled and turned into ashen stone, and eventually, Wei WuXian’s sobs faded. He stood up slowly, grasping the unlit lantern in one hand and Lan WangJi’s ribbon in the other, and he began to walk forward. There was only one path, leading right to the gates of BaoShan SanRen’s home. 

His movements were almost mechanical, his mind in shambles. Wei WuXian wanted to find the immortal and demand to know what happened. He wanted to know what he did to deserve this, what his family did to deserve this! What were those “blessings”!? What was this “trial”?! 

The gates were open. 

Xiao XingChen stood there, alone, with a sorrowful smile on his face. 

Wei WuXian surged forward, grabbing Xiao XingChen by the front of his white robes - robes that look so much like Lan Zhan’s - and screamed at the blind man, begging, demanding, pleading for him to tell him what was going on. Why had the others been possessed to take the blessings? Why had they betrayed him and abandoned him for those things? 

Xiao XingChen said nothing as he fell into hysterics, as if giving Wei WuXian a moment to mourn. When Wei WuXian’s energy faded, Xiao XingChen placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, smiling again, as he reached down and took the lantern from Wei WuXian’s hand.

He then told Wei WuXian to follow him into the courtyard, promising him that the truth would be revealed if he did. Wei WuXian followed, too emotionally weak to disobey. Xiao XingChen guided him through the gates, and they walked quietly along an wooden walkway. 

They arrived in the courtyard, and Wei WuXian’s eyes grew wide. 

The courtyard was huge, in the very middle of it, was an empty stone pedestal, similar to the ones that were in the pavilions that held the blessings. But surrounding that pedestal in a wide arc were nine stone statues that resembled skeletons in burial robes, each of them holding a lit red candle in its hands, and wearing a crest of each of the blessings on their heads. Wei WuXian’s heart began to pound in his chest, as realisation crept up on him. Xiao XingChen smiled again, turning to him, and began to tell him the truth of the trial. 

The heavens had no faith in there being any good in humanity, so they had initially declined BaoShan SanRen’s request to give the mortals another chance. But she had convinced them she would prove humanity deserved it, and so she set up this trial. If the mortals could prove they could be selfless without reward at the cost of their own lives, even if they already had peace and safety guaranteed for them, the gods would listen to the immortal’s request. So she set it up that her chosen one would be someone who was greatly loved by those around them, and would be willing to give up their very lives for them. 

She chose Wei WuXian, the son of her former disciple, seeing the love between him and his found family. In the days after he was chosen, she sent his family prophetic dreams, telling of how Wei WuXian would surely die during the trial if they did not take on the blessings in his stead. The blessings were made to be taken only by the chosen one, and anyone else who took them would suffer a horrible death in correspondence to the blessing’s power. But if the chosen one laid his hands on even one of the blessings, he would suffer all nine deaths before his soul would be torn apart to complete the ritual, or so they were told. As far as they knew, the world would have still been saved even if Wei WuXian had failed. 

And yet, they still chose to take on the blessings themselves, so Wei WuXian only had to suffer a single death. 

Wei WuXian fell to his knees, completely overwhelmed by the shock. They had known. They had all known this whole time. They hadn’t betrayed and abandoned him! They were...they were trying to save his soul...

But...Wei WuXian looked around at the stone statues, each holding a lit candle for each of his family member’s souls. Fresh tears fell from his eyes as the reality of it all hit him. Why...why had it come to this? He clutched Lan WangJi’s ribbon, unable to deal with the pain of knowing they had died, they had all died horrible deaths to spare him from a moment of suffering. He didn’t deserve it...He didn’t deserve to have such love in his life!

The mist that had pursued him all up the mountain began to swirl around him, and with it, it carried visions of the pavilions, and his family’s last moments, but...slightly different. 

Jiang FengMian was smiling, with kind and sorrowful eyes. 

Yu ZiYuan had her eyes closed in resignation, the ghost of a smile gracing her lips. 

Wen Qing wore a proud smile, but her eyes were soft and wet with unshead tears.

Wen Ning smiled wide, wider and more genuinely than he ever did in his life.

Jin ZiXuan looked like he was giving a nod, giving a smile free of the arrogance he was known for. 

Jiang Cheng’s laugh was much softer, and it seemed like he was struggling to hold back tears.

Lan XiChen’s expression held a gentle look of peaceful acceptance. 

Jiang YanLi’s tears no longer looked like tears of joy, as a sorrowful expression graced her features instead.

Lan WangJi, his forehead free of his usual ribbon, was smiling gently, tears in his eyes as he walked away from his beloved. 

Wei WuXian’s heart was shattering.

The mist cleared, and the crests upon the statues began to glow, and the candles began to melt, becoming red rivers that travelled into the empty pool that the empty middle pedestal stood in. As this happened, Wei WuXian had one last vision, of his family members standing before him, all of them smiling and holding their hands out for him, ready for him to join them in the next life. 

Wei WuXian never noticed that Xiao XingChen had disappeared. He never noticed how the lantern itself had become the final “blessing” upon the pedestal, glowing stronger and brighter than all the rest. He never noticed the lone woman standing in the distance, offering a silent prayer to the heavens. All he saw was his family fading into nothing, and all he knew was that he couldn’t keep them waiting any longer. 

Wei WuXian reached out, and took the final blessing into his hands. 

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #jiang fengmian #yi zuyuan #lan xichen #wen qing #wen ning #xiao xingchen #baoshan sanren #mdzs fics #my fics #my posts #this was a wild ride guys #blessed messiah and the tower of ai #vocaloid mdzs fics