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tooearlyforthis · 3 days

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Help Me Help You

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Synopsis: (12.6k wc) Steve can't always admit when he needs help - which is why Robin is there to tell him. Weeks of therapy and he feels like he's gotten nowhere. So what happens when his therapist recommends a group session? What if he recognizes someone there?

Warnings: fluff, angst, mental health - anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mentions of loss, therapy, SA

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This is a little different than what I usually post but I started writing this when I wasn't in the best place and I found it helped a lot. A lot of this stuff I've been through but if there is any feedback you guys have to portray the things discussed better please reach out!

“And how has that shaped you?”

The words echoed in Steve’s ears. He had heard it, comprehended the question; but his mind drifted far away. The grey carpet floor beneath him held no value, but he couldn’t look away. Why did he think therapy was a good idea?

Dr. Ackerman shifted in her seat, her pencil tapping against a notebook in her lap. “Steve,” she said sternly. He only mumbled a response, picking his head up. “How did not getting into college shape you?”

It sounded more like an interview question than anything else. Something a mid-level employee would ask him as he sat in the front of the store, nerves taking over his whole body.

He propped his foot up on one knee, trying to think of an answer quickly. “Uh more resilience, I guess?”

Nodding, Dr. Ackerman wrote on her notepad. “Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t know, that kind of life wasn’t meant for me. It made me move on to better things.” He tried not to tap his fingers against his thigh - a nervous tick he had developed over the years.

“And why do you think that life, going to college, wasn’t for you?”

He tried to think of a way to justify his answer. Telling the truth wasn’t an option, despite it being the reason he sought out counseling.

She leaned forward, letting her hands drift over her knees. “This won’t work if you’re not open, Steve.”

Shit how did she know?

Leaning back Dr. Ackerman continued, “I want you to come this weekend to sit in on a group session with my other patients. See how talking about what’s wrong may help you.”

“I don’t know –“ he began, already hesitant on her suggestion.

Putting up a hand, she silenced him. “No fighting. You need to commit, Stephen.”

The mention of his full name stung, a friendly reminder that she was older, wiser – a person who knew what was best for him.

“Trust me. This will help.”

Something smelled good. Way too good.

It floated through his house, filling every crevice despite the absence of bodies. It made him feel safe, an unfamiliar sensation to him from the last few years. Following the smell, he walked into the kitchen. Robin was standing over the stove, a paper towel gripped over her arm.

“What did you do?” He asked, announcing his presence.

He wasn’t surprised to see her. More and more the past few weeks she had been spending time at his house, even taking up a semi permanent room upstairs.

She turned around, her face softening from a scowl. “Just burned my arm with oil. I think I put too much in the pan.” Steve chuckled. “How did it go?”

Shedding his jacket, he sat down at the counter. “It was fine. She wants me to do group therapy this weekend.”

“Do you think it will help?”

He shrugged, not knowing his true answer. Out of all the people in their little party of monster fighters, Steve experienced some of the worst. From getting beat up more times that he could count, to getting tortured by Russians, he was in desperate need of help.

But part of him still thought he didn’t when there were always others that would need him. His brain would spiral. To thoughts of the kids, hoping another gate hadn’t opened up; to Joyce and Hopper, wondering if someone would come back looking for them. But as the PTSD of his past caught up to him, it felt like the only viable option.

“What are you cooking?” he asked, diverting the conversation.

“Chicken,” Robin replied. “I mean, it’ll probably taste like shit. But it’s been a while since we had a proper meal, ya know?”

He nodded. “Yeah it has been…don’t worry though it actually smells really good. I think I’m going to take a nap before we eat if that’s okay? Just tired from this –”

“ – you don’t have to explain. I understand.”

He smiled at her – a genuine smile. Nowadays it felt like every emotion he felt was being forced, a sign to tell the others he was okay. But Robin had a way of bringing out his true self. She understood him in ways no one else in his life did. From the moment they went crashing down in that Russian elevator, they were linked at the hip - a single mind working cohesively.

Entering his bedroom, he felt immediate relief. It was a sense of safety, like a big blanket wrapping him in a warm hug. Sinking into the mattress he let sleep take him, hoping to not wake up from the horror of his dreams.

The weekend came sooner than Steve would have liked. He didn’t feel ready to walk into group therapy, no matter how much he tried to prepare himself. The unknown scared him, even when it came to just talking about his feelings.

Robin offered to drive him. He was reluctant at first since she had only had her license for a year. But the session was a couple of towns over and she knew how his mind would run if he was alone in his car.

Pulling up to the building, she let the car roll to a stop. The engine continued to rumble in Steve’s ears, his heart matching the irregular pattern. It was like he was riding up a roller coaster, the top never coming into sight. He shut his eyes, trying to wish the feeling away.

Robin placed a hand gently on his shoulder, grounding him back to reality. “Hey,” she began. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Nodding, he unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed the water bottle he had brought. “Thanks for driving, Rob.”

“Of course. I’ll be here when you get out.”

With one last breath, he said to himself, “All right, let’s do this.”

He opened the car door, letting the cold air hit his face as he climbed out. It felt nice, like a wake-up call he so desperately needed.

“You got this!” Robin exclaimed from the rolled-down window.

He smiled, watching as she drove off before turning back to the big brick building in front of him. It was a different place from his usual sessions with Dr. Ackerman. But as he entered the building, he found it felt eerily similar. Was every therapist's office decorated the same? From the off-grey carpet to the leather sofa, it felt like a place he had been before. It helped calm his emotions just a smidge.

“Can I help you, sweetie?” He turned to the lady behind the front counter.

“Uh, yeah I’m here for Dr. Ackerman’s group session?”

“Follow me,” she said with a warm smile.

The lady moved from her place behind the counter to open the door at the other end of the room. Closely, he followed her down the narrow hallway. His heart began to race, wondering how he could talk about his traumas without revealing the supernatural. It was hard to do with one person but a whole group? He might as well sew his mouth shut.

“Here you are sweetie,” the lady said, swinging open a door.

He barely had time to thank her before the door was shut behind him, leaving him alone in a room of strangers. Well, strangers plus one person he never thought he’d see again; Y/N L/N. She was sitting in a chair, arms crossed in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. It was very different from how he remembered her in high school.

From the few classes they shared and the occasional hellos in the hallway, he knew she was a pretty friendly, put-together person. She was always kind to people, despite the unfriendly rumors about how many notches were on her bedpost. Last he heard, she was heading off to some Ivy League school after graduation. So what was she doing sitting in on this therapy group?

He wanted to talk to her, to reconnect even though they were never close to begin with. Her eyes were glued to the hem of her sweatshirt, pinching at it in boredom. Then she looked up, scanning the room before her eyes landed on him. Her breath hitched for a moment as Steve saw her realize who he was.

Wanting to talk to her, he stepped forward. Before he could even make it an inch, Dr. Ackerman’s voice pulled him away.

“Mr. Harrington,” she greeted him. “Glad to see you could join us. Please, take a seat.”

Giving a polite smile, he stole a glance at Y/N one more time. She was already looking down at the floor, back to pulling on the strings of her pullover.

As the therapy season began and people began to speak, Steve found himself barely paying attention. He went into this session hoping to get the most out of it, to really take in and listen to what people had to say. But that was before he saw Y/N. Shy and still undeniably cute, Y/N.

He wanted to hear her story, not the strangers they were surrounded by. He wanted to know why she was here, not in New Jersey, and what could have happened in her life that made her need therapy in the first place. Steve knew his past was fucked up but from an outsider’s perspective, it never seemed like hers was.

Unlucky for him, she barely spoke the entire session. There was the occasional nod or spoken agreement, but she never elaborated on any subject brought up. The minute Dr. Ackerman announced their time was over, and before he could even talk to her, she was gone. Out the door and out of his life.

Steve slumped back into his chair, feeling defeated. He didn’t know why he felt so down. She was never a close friend to him, even at the height of them interacting in school. He got up to leave, hoping to catch her outside when he heard Dr. Ackerman called his name. Begrudgingly, he turned around to face her.

“So, what did you think?” she asked.

“I uh, don’t really know,” he responded truthfully.

“Then I want you to come back next weekend. And try to talk more, okay? You get out of it what you put in.”

Nodding, he gave her a goodbye. He rushed out the door, hoping to catch Y/N before she left. But alas, he was too late. Everyone had gone for the day. The only person left was Robin, patiently waiting in the car next to the curb.

“How’d it go?” She asked, as he stepped into the car.

“Fine,” he replied, as he played with the hem of his shirt. “I uh… saw Y/N L/N. Remember her?”

“I think so. Pretty sure we had chem together. Wait, wasn’t she some big shot? Going off to Princeton or something?”

Steve shrugged. “I guess not anymore.”

Robin gave an inquisitive hum in lieu of a reply. He stared out the window as she drove, partly thinking of how much Robin’s driving had improved. But mostly, his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N and how he couldn’t wait to see her again.

Steve made sure to arrive extra early for the group session the following week. He walked into the office complex, moving his way through the halls to the familiar door with Dr. Ackerman’s plaque across the front. With one last deep breath, he went in.

The receptionist recognized him, letting him go into the therapy room with no problem. “Dr. Ackerman isn’t here yet but make yourself comfortable,” she told him.

“Thanks,” he replied softly, watching her close the door behind him.

When he turned around again, he was greeted with semi-familiar faces staring back at him. He scanned the room; no Y/N in sight. Giving a weak smile, he sat down in the same seat from last week.

He could tell the others' eyes were on him, trying to get a read on the newbie. There weren’t many people there but it sure felt like a lot. A boy, probably around his age, a slightly older woman dressed very professionally, and an older lady that he had to guess was a few years away from a retirement home.

“Hey,” the younger boy said, causing Steve to look up. “I’m Matt.” Steve replied with only his name, not knowing what else to say. Matt motioned to the woman in her late 20s wearing almost a business suit. “That’s Sam, and grandma over there is Louise. She could drop dead any minute so be on the lookout.”

“Matt!” Sam exclaimed, hitting his arm. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s alright, sweetie,” Louise calmed her. “He can say anything he wants as long as he remembers that I know where he lives, and I own a gun.”

Steve’s eyes went wide, his shoulders stiffening. Did that old woman just threaten him? Matt bursted out laughing. It was clear the group was comfortable with that sort of joking around. He turned back to a very tense Steve. “What are you here for?”

“You don’t have to answer that.” Sam told him..

“It’s complicated,” Steve said honestly. “I-I’m not really sure how I would explain it anyways.”

“Oooh,” Matt cooed. “Are you in a love triangle?”

“No I –”

“Family abandon you?”

“Well –”

“Oh I got it!” He interrupted again, sitting up straighter in his chair. “You got bit by a rabies infected bat and turned into a vampire.”

Steve tensed. How did he– it was obviously a joke. Not anything to take seriously so Steve decided to play along. “Actually, you’re not that far off.”

Matt chuckled, looking over at Sam who let out a small laugh as well. “I like you. You’re gonna fit in just fine.”

“Okay…” Steve said hesitantly, not knowing quite what he meant.

The door softly clicked open, everyone turning to look who it was. Steve sucked in a breath when he realized it was Y/N. She was wearing something similar to last week, a pair of jeans and a sweater two sizes too big. The room was small enough that as she scanned the environment, her eyes locked with his.

Steve heard the others greeting her as she stepped further into the room, but his gaze was still fixed on her. Quickly, Y/N looked down, her hair falling gently over her face. He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Maybe she realized that they would be seeing more of each other; maybe she didn’t want to see him at all. He watched as she walked to an open seat, setting her bag down at her feet.

Steve wanted to speak, to say something to Y/N even though he didn’t know what. Cursed again, Dr. Ackerman bursted into the room. “Sorry I’m late,” she announced. “Let’s get started.”

Even though his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N, he did manage to listen in more to the problems of his fellow group members. Matt was from a couple towns over attending the state college. His anxiety got the best of him and he had a falling out with his best friend. Sam was an elementary school teacher who suffered from PTSD from her younger years traveling as a military brat. And Louise was grieving the loss of her son - a car accident from a few months prior. He listened in more, taking in the symptoms and coping mechanisms they used. Some of the things they said sounded familiar, things that he could learn from his own terrifying experiences.

Once Louise, recounted her past week, how it felt in the wake of her son’s death, Dr. Ackerman turned to him.

“Steve,” she said suddenly, taking him off guard from sneaking a look at Y/N. “You've experienced some loss in your life as well?” He nodded, not knowing where this was going. “Would you like to share a recent experience you had? Maybe the group has some coping skills to help you.

Suddenly all the eyes were on him. He felt violated, talking in front of people he barely knew for two days. But in the words of Dr. Ackerman, it wasn’t going to help if he didn’t contribute.

He began to speak, choosing his words very carefully. “Um yeah I guess I’ve been surrounded by loss, more so in the past couple of years.”

He felt Y/N look up at him, sympathy in her stare. It gave him the courage to continue.

“First it was my ex’s best friend. I didn’t know her well but she was last seen at my house so, I guess I blame myself for that? My friend, his mom’s boyfriend passed away, as well as another friend’s older brother…but more recently, a-a new friend. We had only just met… he uh, played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons.”

He looked over at Y/N again who was still staring at him, her sympathy replaced with something else - something he couldn’t quiet. Fright? No, recognition.

“I think of him sometimes– the new friend,” Steve clarified, glancing down at his fingers tapping against his thigh. “We only knew each other for a short while but he was a good dude…I see stuff around town sometimes that reminds me of him and I feel like I’m back- “

In the Upside Down.

“In a dark place,” he opted to say instead.

When he looked up at the group, he felt relieved. They all looked at him with a sense of understanding, like they knew what he was going through. Hell, after what he heard today they probably were.

“I see,” Dr. Ackerman began. “So group, what can Steve do?”

“Well, I find the 54321 method helpful,” Sam said.

Matt pointed at her. “I was about to say the same thing.”

“The 54321 method?” Steve asked, hoping they would explain further.

“Y/N,” Dr. Ackerman said. She looked up at her. “Would you mind explaining to Steve what this coping skill is?”

Steve looked over at her hesitantly. “Uh sure,” she said, sitting up straighter. She was trying to look at him but her eyes fell back to her lap. “You count five things you can see around you, four things you can feel… uh three things you can hear. Two you can smell and one you can taste.”

“Very good Y/N.”

She looked up at him one last time, her gaze holding longer than usual and Steve felt like she could take his breath away.

“And have you been using those methods yourself?” Dr. Ackerman asked.

She tore her gaze away from Steve, looking back at their therapist. “I-I’ve been trying.”

“Well that’s a step forward right? Effort is all I can ask for. Now Steve,” she directed her attention back to her. “Those were great examples, but not the one I was looking for.”

“It wasn’t?”

“What about your parents?”

He shook his head. “My parents aren’t dead.”

“But are they around often?” Steve froze. She knew they weren’t. Where was she going with this? Shaking his head, she continued. “Couldn’t that count as a form of loss? The loss of parental figures?”

He remained silent. Could it?

“Loss is not just death, Steve. It can take on many forms.”

Shit, he hadn’t thought of it that way. How much in his life had he truly lost? His parents, his friends, his reputation… Before he could even begin to process what that meant, Dr. Ackerman moved on to Matt who talked about his recent split from his best friend. But Steve was still in his own mind. His own thoughts drowning out the voices of the people around him.

Maybe he needed therapy more than he cared to admit.

Before Steve knew it, the session was over and he was making his way out of the room, the thought of loss still very much present in his mind. He didn’t realize how much therapy would actually help him. Though mental health was something more and more people were beginning to talk about, it still had a lot of negative stereotypes. One wrong step and you could end up in a psychiatric ward without really needing it.

Trying to give his brain a break, Steve shifted his focus to Y/N and how he desperately wanted to try and talk to her. But yet again, Dr. Ackerman stopped him. “So, how are you liking the group?”

“A lot better than last week,” he replied, watching a small smile form on her face.

“Good. That’s really good, Steve.”

“Can I…keep coming to this group? On top of our sessions?”

She nodded. “That was the plan all along. See you later this week.”

“See you, Dr. Ackerman.”

Despite the heavy topic of the session, the moment Steve stepped outside, it was like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. The air felt nice, so crisp on his skin it was like a fresh glass of water. He was reluctant to admit that Dr. Ackerman was right, but the lady knew her stuff.

Looking around, he noticed Robin hadn’t arrived yet. Everybody else was gone, or so he thought.

“I didn’t know that about your parents.”

Steve turned around to find Y/N leaning against a wall, a cigarette between her fingers. There was no need for introductions, they both had remembered each other – it was just a matter of who would speak first.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve began to respond, shoving his hands in his pockets. He spent so long building up the moment they would speak again that when the time came, he felt frozen. Like a deep in headlights. Making his way over to her, he continued, “Most people don’t.”

She nodded, taking a puff of the cigarette. As she breathed out, a cloud of smoke followed, slowly floating above them. Steve tried not to wince at the smell. “Want one?” she offered.

“No thanks, I quit last year.”

Her eyebrows raised, surprised. Slowly she shrugged. “That makes one of us.”

Not knowing what to do, Steve looked around, trying his best to find something for them to talk about besides the obvious. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing. “I thought you went off to college.”

“I did,” she said before mumbling, “Until Gary entered the picture.”

“Who’s Gary?”

Not responding, she puffed out more smoke. It was clearly a touchy subject and Steve knew all too well about those.

“I-I’m happy you’re here though.”

She scoffed. “Really?”

He nodded. “I wished we stayed in touch when school was over.”

“Hate to break it to you, Harrington, but I didn’t consider us friends.”

“I mean, me neither. But I remember you being one of the few people that called me on my bullshit – could see through my lies…I need more people like that in my life.”

She stared at him, her cigarette still loosely hanging between fingers. He didn’t know what she was thinking, what she was searching for in his comment. Maybe the truth? To see if he was lying? Before either of them could say anymore a honk echoed across the parking lot. Steve turned to see Robin pulling up to the curb. She rolled down the window as she parked.

“That’s my ride,” Steve said, slowly backing away. “You remember Buckley? Another Hawkins High survivor.”

“Yeah, hey,” Y/N said, giving a small wave.

Robin waved back and said, “Oh hey, yeah we had chem together right?” Y/N nodded.

“I’ll uh, see you next week?” Steve said, turning back to her one more time.

“Uh, yeah. Yes.” She took another puff. “See you next week.”

With one last wave, he climbed into the car, watching Y/N become a speck in the side-view mirror as they drove away.

“So,” Robin began, “You finally talked to her?”

“More like she talked to me but, yeah,” he responded.

“She’s different from what I remember. Tougher, less open to people. I didn’t know you were close.”

“We weren’t.”

Watching as his house turned into view, all he could think about was seeing her the following week.

“Why are we going to the other side of town again? Why can’t we just go to the burger place down the street?” Dustin asked, leaning forward from the backseat of Steve’s car.

“It’ll be fun!” Robin said, arching her head to look back at him.

“What’s the place called again?” Lucas asked.

“Gordy’s,” Mike responded. “Stupid if you ask me.”

Usually in these types of scenarios, Steve would be the one to call them on their bullshit. To be the babysitter that steps up to make things right. However, because of more recent events, instead of stepping up, he was slipping away.

Robin noticed almost instantly, jumping in to control the situation when her friend couldn’t.

“Hey!” She shouted, cutting off the chatter from the back. “Yes, the diner is called Gordy’s. Yes it’s on the other side of town. And we are going because Max likes it and she used to go with her family. Right Max?”

“Y-yeah,” Max spoke up from the back. “It’s pretty good, I think you guys would like it.”

“I’m excited,” El said, getting an agreement from Will.

Little chatter soon broke into more chaos, the kids talking over each other without a care in the world. Steve wanted to say something, his grip on the steering wheel tightening in an effort to stop feeling the anxiety running through his chest. But still, it was too much. He needed to focus on the road.

“See? El’s excited,” Robin chimed in again. “Quit your yapping, we're almost there.”

Almost on cue, they turned into the Gordy's parking lot. Steve took a deep breath as the chatter in the back started to die down. He could almost hear his thoughts again, though he didn’t know if that would be a good thing.

As the kids began to pile out of the car, he felt Robin’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” she said. “Deep breaths, remember? If it gets too bad, do that thing you learned okay? The 123 method.”

“54321 method,” he corrected.

“Yeah, the 54321 method.” She watched as he nodded, taking another deep breath. “Hey,” she willed him to look at her. “You’re doing great. You ready to go in or do you need a minute?”

“No, I’m good…” It wasn’t until they were standing right outside the doors, the kids already packed into a booth that he spoke again. “Sorry about that, I can’t control it sometimes-”

“You never have to explain yourself,” she interrupted him, grabbing one of his hands. “Never.”

Steve felt this warm haze travel through him, his chest expanding with what felt like a clean breath of air. Sometimes hearing that there was someone there for him was enough to keep him going. Squeezing her hand back, he motioned that he was ready.

It was easy to navigate to where the kids had decided to sit – noise only coming from one side of the diner. Of course, they were arguing. It was about some movie that had just come out though both of the older teens couldn’t quite place which one.

“Zip it!” Steve shouted over them, standing at the edge of the diner booth. They all abruptly stopped to look at him. It was the first real words he had muttered all night. “Pick what you want to eat. We’re not spending an hour deciding like last time.”

Dustin smiled at his words. Sure, they were kinda mean, but when Steve got bitchy that meant he was alert.

Sliding into the booth across from Robin, Steve picked up a menu. The options were like any other establishment, and the kids were quick to decide what they wanted. When it came down to it, their orders didn’t really change much from diner to diner. It was the talking that made their visits longer. But Steve liked to mix it up from time to time, especially when eating with Robin - they often split meals.

So when the waiter came over to take their orders, he was happy they didn’t have to send the guy away. With El eager to get her waffles, she went first, Mike going straight after her. Steve guessed that meant he would be last. He took the moment he had to look around the diner Max had selected.

It was nice, much nicer than the other places they had tried but that wasn’t saying much. Midwest towns with small populations meant slow repairs. The floors looked a little wet but that was probably from the amount of people walking through with the recent storm. The coffee machine was out of order and by the looks of it, it had been that way for at least a month.

Besides that, not much was out of place. There was an elderly couple sitting at the counter top across the place. Slowly they traced their fingers along a spread out newspaper Steve had to guess was an attempt at the crossword puzzle. But his eyes slowly drifted away from the puzzle and onto the waitress putting down their food.

It was Y/N. Blue apron, hair pulled back to not obscure her face.

His breath hitched when he saw her. It was so unexpected, seeing her in a place like this. She looked so calm, almost happy. He hadn’t seen her like that since their senior year. It made him wonder what had gone so wrong, what this “Gary” did to make her dropout of college. And even though he wouldn’t find that answer tonight, he couldn’t stop himself from staring at her.

As she smiled at her customers, her eyes scanned the diner. Looking for more people to help, her eyes landed on him. There was some shock, the unexpectedness of seeing him, but she forced a smile on her face.

“Steve!”

He was pulled out of his daze by Robin, motioning to the waiter standing before them.

“W-what would you like to drink?” the waiter asked again, though Steve swore he never heard him the first time.

“Uh, just water, thanks,” he said sheepishly, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

The waiter, however, just nodded, walking over to where Y/N stood. Steve let his eyes follow him, watching the coworkers engage in conversation before Robin spoke again.

“That’s her, right?” she whispered, not wanting the kids to hear. He nodded. “You should go talk to her.”

He whipped his head around to look at her. “What? No.”

“Why not?”

Because my anxiety will make me fuck up my sentences.

“Because she’s working,” he said instead. “I don’t wanna interrupt her.”

“Please, it’s so dead in here she would probably thank you.”

“Who are you talking about?” said Dustin, trying to worm his way into the conversation.

“No one,” Steve said quickly. “Do your maze.”

He looked down at the kids menu in front of him. “I’m not a child!” he exclaimed.

“Maybe, but you love those mazes.”

He took one look at Steve before back down at his menu. Sighing in defeat he said, “Okay yeah I do…”

It was a new record. Almost an entire day without a panic attack. The food had arrived, the kids eating like it was their last meal on earth. Meanwhile Robin took the time to neatly split her and Steve’s food in half, handing him one of the plates.

He smiled at her before diving in. Well, more like inching in. He didn’t feel too hungry, despite not eating at all that day. That was the main reason for this little outing - to get him to eat food. But as the night went on and his food was still barely touched, he knew that something deeper was happening.

Ever since he started therapy, he had been getting better at spotting anxiety and panic attacks, even preventing a few which he was proud of. But some would start for no reason, even if he was feeling better than he had all day. Something began to rise in his chest and he knew one was coming. Apparently, Robin did too.

Over the noise of the kids debating over some new comic book, Robin asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve dismissed out of instinct. “Just gonna go to the bathroom.”

He quickly stood up, not waiting for a response. The bathroom was unlocked thankfully and looked a little disgusting. Still, he had been in worst places. Staring at the faucet he cupped his hands, splashing water on his face.

Sometimes that helped, giving his body a wake up call it didn’t know it needed. But unfortunately, it wasn't working. He felt his breaths become shorter, more labored. His heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their hands.

He needed fresh air. Yeah, fresh air would help.

Exiting the bathroom, he was thankful to see there was a back door just a few feet away. Pushing through he was met with the cold crisp air of the back of the diner. There was some air conditioner blowing so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts.

Picking what looked to be a clean wall, he sat down, trying to take deep breaths. His hands still shook, not slowing down despite his efforts. Nothing was working and he didn’t know why. What had even caused this panic attack? There was nothing he was scared or really anxious about to warrant this level of panic.

He tried to remember what Dr. Ackerman told him in one of their private sessions. Sometimes panic attacks don’t need a reason for happening.

“Harrington?”

He willed himself to look up at who was calling his name. It was Y/N, a cigarette in her hand. Perfect, just great. This is exactly how he wanted her to see him.

“Oh, hey,” he tried to say casually, trying to mask his attack. They could both tell it wasn’t working.

“Are you doing okay?”

He could tell it was more of a rhetorical question and he was too tired to lie. “I- not really. I don’t know what happened I just-”

“Hey it’s okay,” she interrupted him, crouching down to be at eye level with him. “We all get them okay?”

He nodded though his heart still felt like it was beating out of his chest. “I-I can’t stop it.”

“Have you done the method yet?” He shook his head. “Okay,” she continued, throwing her cigarette to the side before fully sitting down in front of him cross legged. “Let’s go through it, yeah?”

“Aren’t you working?”

“I’m on my break. Don’t worry about that, let’s help you okay? Name five things you can see.”

“O-okay…” he said, taking a deep breath. “Um, my shoes, those plants ... .uh the-the ground. I can see the wall and- your eyes. Shit- sorry that was weird,” he said, curling back into the wall.

“No, don’t apologize,” she told him, reaching out her hand to cover his. “Describe them to me. What do my eyes look like?”

He looked up at her - there was no hint of mockery in her face. “Well, they're vibrant, they’re a couple of different shades…they're beautiful.”

She smiled at him, not disgusted or annoyed, but genuine happiness. She chuckled, dropping her head for a moment, thanks… Now, let’s continue…”

They listed more things, following the method. With each concentration, the hold on his heart loosened more and more. He couldn’t tell if the method was working or he just liked to be in her company. Whatever it was, it worked.

As he listed off the taste of his meal, he felt like he could finally breathe. Sighing, he let his back hit the wall.

“Thanks for that,” he said, closing his eyes. He could still feel the pads of her fingers gently rubbing his hand.

She responded, not letting go. “Of course, we have to look out for each other.” In the distance, someone called her name. “Shit, my break is over. You think you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Slowly she stood back up. “I uh, guess I’ll see you this weekend.” She gave a small wave, not waiting for a response as she scurried back inside for the remainder of her shift.

As he watched her walk away, he felt the urge to call her back. Her presence, the way she calmed him down - it wasn’t something he wanted to let go of. Begrudgingly, he stood up, knowing that his friends would be wondering where he was soon. He walked through the same back door, passing the bathroom before finding his friends still in the diner booth.

Robin spotted him first as he made his way over - it seemed like the others barely even noticed his absence. “Are you okay? You look pale,” she asked.

Usually he would lie, say he was fine and tough through his emotions. But as Dr. Ackerman and later Robin told him, he needed to be more honest with his well being.

“I don’t think so. Could we skip the ice cream run tonight?”

“Of course, yeah. Let’s get going, I already paid for the food.” She turned to the kids. “Alright, let’s get you guys home.”

“What about ice cream?” Dustin asked, followed by overlapping replies from the rest of the kids.

“Not tonight. Maybe next week.”

With solemn looks on their faces, the kids slowly climbed out of the diner booth, ready to pile back into the car. Steve watched as Robin unlocked the door, letting them all climb in. While doing so, he turned back, hoping to catch Y/N one more time.

She emerged from the back with two plates of food, locking eyes with him. She gave him a smile and he already felt a million times better. Nodding at her with a grin, she knew he meant it as a thank you.

Turning around, he made his way to the car, hoping that another attack wouldn’t happen when she wasn’t there.

For the first time since starting therapy, Steve Harrington could say he was satisfied with his progress. He had another panic attack later that week and was able to not only realize the source of it, but calm himself down in record time. Well, record time for him, at least.

Leaving Dr. Ackerman’s office, he waved goodbye to the other patients before making a b-line to the bathrooms. His bladder was not happy about the wait. After relieving himself, he opened the door to leave.

“Do you usually hang out with that many kids?”

“Gah!” Steve jumped, not knowing that Y/N was standing outside smoking a cigarette like she was usually seen. “Jeez, you scared me.”

He began to walk to the building exit, her joining at his side. “Sorry, but you gotta answer the question, Harrington. It’s been bugging me since I saw you.”

Pushing open the exit doors, he said, “Uh they’re my friends so, yeah I usually hang out with them.”

“But children?”

“They aren’t random children, okay? But yeah, they're who I’m close with,” he shrugged. “Probably my only friends if I’m being honest.”

“Huh…” Y/N replied, taking a long drag of her cig. “That’s fucking weird, Harrington. Did you and your girlfriend adopt them or something?”

He cocked his head. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Buckley... Sorry, I just assumed-”

“Oh,” he replied with realization. “Buckley, no we’re just friends. She’s practically my sister.”

“Oh okay, cool.” She took another puff.

“Do you ever think about quitting? It’s a nasty habit.”

“Yeah well, what else do I have to do?”

“Go out with me?” She turned sharply to glare at him, her eyes going wide. “Not like go out with me. Shit, I said that wrong- Hangout. I meant hangout with me. As friends!”

She still looked frozen, giving him a look he couldn’t quite read. Was that happiness? Distast? Maybe she didn’t want to try being friends with him.

“I wanna see you outside of therapy and your work ya know?” he explained, trying not to dig himself into a deeper hole. “To not listen to Matt re-explain every class he has. I mean like, we’re not the ones in school.”

She laughed at that, probably understanding what he meant. Next to them, a car pulled up to the curb. It wasn’t Robin.

“That’s my dad,” she responded softly, walking over to the car. She turned to open the passenger door but paused and looked back at him. “Meet me at the Hideout at 7? Saturday?”

Steve couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “I’ll be there.”

She gave him one last look before climbing into the car, driving away. The smile was still plastered on Steve’s face and he couldn’t help but think that this friendship was the beginning of his new life. One where the Upside Down didn’t haunt his dreams, or where he didn’t fight any demogorgons. One where he could leave that all behind.

The Hideout. It sounded familiar but Steve couldn’t place why he knew it. Even as he walked into the place, he knew he had never been there before.

It was very grungy. The floors looked like they needed a deep cleaning and the walls were covered head to toe in band posters. A bar sat on the left side of the room, perfectly out of the way of the stage on the back wall.

Walking in, Steve opted to stand next to a high table, no chairs in sight. He figured it was just a place for people to set down their drinks. Alcohol, however, did not feel the right call. He wanted to stay alert for his first hangout with Y/N.

As his eyes drifted across the stage, he watched a band set up their equipment. There were only four of them. A drummer, bassist, guitarist, and a rhythm guitarist. It was probably some local band he had never heard of - he didn’t really keep up with current music.

But as he looked closer, he realized that they were familiar. The guy on rhythm guitar, he had seen him before. A math class? Was that it? Slowly, it started to come to him.

This was Eddie’s band.

The room felt like it became a million times hotter as Steve began to sweat. His heart thumping faster than normal. He needed to stay calm, he needed to control his panic.

Since Eddie died, he tried to stay away from all things related to the guy. Instead of sitting in on the last few minutes of Dustin’s dnd games, he’d wait in the car. Instead of surfing any radio channel, he made sure to skip the metal station. But there was no skipping tonight.

He recognized three of the members but there was one that was new. He had shorter hair, a lanky build and a tattoo peeking out from under the arm of his t-shirt. He didn’t look familiar - not someone he went to school with. But then it dawned on him.

He was Eddie’s replacement. Before he even had time to process that information, he felt a small hand on his back, a presence next to him.

“Hey, you made it,” Y/N said with a smile on her face. He hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.

“W-whata- what…” It was like he couldn’t speak, the image of Eddie’s band moving on without him still in his mind. “W-why did you bring me here?” he finally got out.

Y/N furrowed her brows. “To see Corroded Coffin?” she responded, not really understanding what he meant. “I thought it would be fun, my brother said they’re playing a new song tonight.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Brother?”

“Yeah… Gareth? On the drums? I thought you remembered.”

No, he didn’t remember. He turned back to the band setting up. Gareth was putting down the hi-hat to complete his drum set.

Trying to stay calm, he said, “Oh cool…did uh, did you know Eddie too?”

Her face dropped slightly at the mention of his name. “Yeah, I did. He was a good guy.” All he could do was nod, taking a deep breath in. He felt her arm wrap around his. “Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m sorry I should’ve told you why we were here.”

“No it’s okay. It’s like exposure therapy.”

She chuckled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Sure.”

It didn’t take long for them to start, the music blaring out of speakers that were too loud for the room they were in. The new guy, in place of Eddie, was singing and Steve had to admit it wasn’t bad. His heart still ached at the thought of the band having to replace their star singer. They all looked like really close friends back in school.

They played a couple songs, and Y/N pointed out the new one that her brother had mentioned. It was good, or better than he would have thought. Steve didn’t know how much he actually liked metal music but if he had to listen to any it would be this.

But he wasn’t really focused on the music, more of the person standing next to him. He tried not to stare but she was so memorizing. Singing along to the songs she knew, bobbing her head to the ones she didn’t. It was nice seeing her outside the context of therapy. He also wasn’t complaining that her arm was still wrapped around his for a majority of the night.

As the new lead singer thanked the small crowd, leaving as they cheered, Steve felt Y/N tug his arm.

“Come on, let’s go say hello,” she said, pulling him through the crowd.

“S-say hello?” he asked. “Like to the band?”

“Duh,” she replied, waving at a bouncer guarding the backstage door. “We aren’t gonna see my brother perform and then leave.”

The corridor backstage was busier than he thought it would be. The bar was small but it sure didn’t feel like that. People were walking up and down, some running like it was Madison Square Garden. He couldn’t tell who worked there, performed, or were just groupies stopping by.

Turning right, they were met face to face with the green room, a written sign saying Corroded Coffin taped to the door. Y/N smiled at him before she reached for the handle, turning it to reveal a very hectic room.

The band members were just chatting but it sounded like shouting. It all halted when they walked in.

“Y/N!” Garrett exclaimed, running over to hug her.

“You did great tonight, honestly all of you did,” she told him.

“And the new song?”

“Better than I could’ve imagined.”

Garret turned to look at Steve, his expression changing to something of confusion. “What is he doing here?”

“You brought Steve Harrington?” Jeff, the rhythm guitarist, chimed in.

Y/N turned to look at Steve confused. “I thought you said you knew Eddie?”

“I-I did,” he told her, suddenly aware of how many eyes were staring at him. He looked around the room quickly before back at her. “I- just not with his usual crowd…”

The band continued to give him a blank stare.

“I know Dustin, Lucas, and Mike? I know you used to play dnd together,” he added.

Grant, the bassist, crossed his arms. “You know Henderson?” he asked.

Steve nodded. “He’s like a little brother to me.”

They stared in silence at him and what was probably five seconds felt like eternity. It wasn’t until Jeff shrugged and spoke up that Steve realized his heart rate was quickening.

“I guess you're okay then,” Jeff said, “As long as you don’t try to shove us into lockers.”

If Jeff didn’t chuckled he would have if he was serious. His laugh rippled throughout the room, breaking the tension and it was like life started again. Joints were lit, drinks were poured, and Steve’s past was left forgotten.

“Can I ask you something?” Steve asked. He walked next to Y/N in the cold, night air, the only sound audible coming from the shuffling of their shoes.

“Sure,” she said, reaching into her pocket to grab a cigarette.

“That first time we talked, like at Dr Ackerman’s…you mentioned someone named Gary.” He felt her stiffen next to him, a slight stutter in her step. “Who was he?”

Dropping her head to the unlit cigarette, she decided to shove it back into her pocket. He instantly regretted asking.

Apologizing, he said, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay…” she waved off. “Exposure therapy, right?” she said, repeating his words from earlier in the night, letting him know it was okay. “Gary was my neighbor in my freshman year dorms. We hit it off really quick and started to date.”

She looked at the ground as she talked, hands shoved into her pockets. Steve however, couldn’t take his gaze off her.

“He was fine, uh, a good boyfriend. Well, at first…” she took a pause, almost long enough that he was thinking he should say something.

Luckily, she continued. “He stumbled into my room really drunk one night…tried to take advantage of me.” She shrugged, actually shrugged, like what she just told him was nothing. “I pushed him off me and he went blabbing to everyone that I was an attention seeking whore. All my friends stopped talking to me, even my roommate…and the administration wouldn’t do anything about it even though he, you know…”

She trailed off as she kicked a rock with her shoe and Steve could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. How could someone, anyone, do that sort of thing? Not even when he was considered King Steve would he force himself onto a girl.

Y/N sighed. “It was like high school was repeating itself, you know? I didn’t get to have my fresh start.”

He nodded, trying to understand what she went through. They never ran in the same circles in high school, but it was hard not to hear the rumors going around about who she was sleeping with. He assumed Billy was the one to start them and let it be. Looking back, he wished he had stood up for her.

“It sucks,” he began warily, not knowing if it was okay to speak. When she looked up at him, it gave him the courage to continue. “When other people decide who they think you are. I-I mean, I didn’t go through that but I do have problems with the way people perceive me, my reputation.”

“I-I mean that’s when all my panic attacks started I just- I couldn’t stay there. It’s so stupid…”

“It’s not!” Steve reassured her. “Not stupid in the slightest. I would have left too if it were me. I mean, I didn’t even get into college. There was nowhere for me to run.” The more he began to speak of his own problems, the more anxious he became. “Not that what I went through was worse than you, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to turn the conversation on to me-”

“-No, Steve, it’s okay. I get it, you’re just trying to relate to me.” He nodded - it was like she took the words right out of his mouth. “Could we go back to yours? If I remember those high school parties correctly, you have a pool.”

“Sure. Y-yeah cool,” he blubbered. He couldn’t remember the last time talking to a girl made him anxious like this. Trying to catch his cool, they headed toward Loch Nora.

“The back door should be unlocked,” Steve informed Y/N as they approached his house.

It wasn’t a far walk from the bus stop they got off on and he could still see his car parked in the driveway - but only his car. Robin had told him ahead of time that she was going to sleep at her own home for once that week - her parents wanting to see more of her.

“Wow, it’s exactly how I remembered it,” Y/N commented as he opened the back gate.

He looked back at her. “You remember what my house looks like?”

Shrugging, she said, “Like I said, I went to a couple of your parties.” The pool’s lights illuminated the otherwise dark backyard, steam rising from its surface. “Now this is what I’m talking about.”

Without warning, Y/N pulled her shirt off, moving to pull down her pants. Steve’s eyes went wide, turning around to give her privacy. “What are you doing?”

“Getting in your pool? I don’t know about you, Harrington, but I don’t carry a bathing suit with me.”

“I guess…” Steve said, suddenly unsure of their plan.

It was just like a bikini right? Only it felt so much more intimate. He heard a splash from behind him, a gasp as she rose to the surface for air.

“You coming in?”

Slowly he turned around facing her as she grazed her hands over the surface of the water. She looked so majestic with her hair slicked back. He felt like deer in headlights as he looked at her. He could go inside, grab one of the many swimming trunks he had in his closet. But instead, he opted to strip down to his boxers, leveling the playing field.

He could tell she was surprised, not thinking he would do the same thing as her. But nonetheless he jumped right in. The splash completely covered her but she didn’t seem to mind, already dunking her head moments before. When he rose to the surface, he inhaled deeply.

“Hey!” She exclaimed, wiping water from her eyes.

“You were already wet!” He retorted.

Without warning, she lunged herself at him. Steve felt as she collided with his chest, sending him falling back into the water, taking her with him. He barely had enough time to breathe before he felt himself submerged back under the surface. On instinct, an arm wrapped around her midsection, balancing her against him as he used his legs to push them back up for air.

Breaking the surface tension, he felt Y/N cling to him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she tried to balance against his bent knee. They were both gasping for air, taking a moment to recover. But the moment she looked up at him, those beautiful eyes he stared into at the diner, it was like a damn broke.

She smiled, letting out a giggle and he too couldn’t keep a straight face. As her face buried in his neck he asked, “What was that for?”

“I don’t know, it looked like you needed to have fun,” she responded.

“So you pushed me.”

Y/N lifted her head from his neck, her hands still around his neck. “You’re a very pushable person.”

“Oh am I?”

“Definitely.” She giggled, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. “I could stay like this forever.”

Steve smiled, his cheeks getting warmer. “Me too. It’s like a little pocket out of time. We don’t have to think about the future.”

“Or the past…” She was silent for a second, her fingers still moving and Steve tried his best to stay still. A beautiful girl was practically sitting on his lap and he was trying to hard to not fuck it up.

“That first session, you talked about all the loss you’ve been around. Is there a reason for that?”

“Interdimensional monsters,” he blurted out. It felt good to say the truth even if it was met with a laugh. Who would believe in another dimension anyway?

“Fine don’t tell me,” she said, letting her hands rest on his shoulders.

The cool touch of her fingers spread across him, down through his chest. It was hard to stop thinking about how little fabric separated them, especially with the way her fingers grazed his skin.

For a moment he almost swore she looked down at his lips. “I bet…” she began, tilting her head back to show her thinking. “That you have daddy issues.”

“Who doesn’t?”

She giggled, her forehead tipping forward, almost touching his. A piece of hair fell across her face and without thinking he reached up to brush it away. Y/N looked up at him, their eyes meeting as he softly pushed the strand behind her ear.

This time, he knew for certain, she had looked at his lips, right after he did the same.

The little space left between them closed as Y/N leaned forward, capturing his mouth. It was softer than he would had thought. Her rough exterior not matching her tender touch. He felt her arms wrap back around him, fingers gripping his hair. He let out a moan, tightening the grip he had on her waist.

She pulled back for a moment, only to tilt her head to the other side, her lips crashing back down on his. A small whimper let out from her mouth and Steve felt like he died and went to heaven. He wanted to hear it again, to be the only one that made her sound that way. It was intoxicating, like a vampire thirsting for blood.

He let his kisses trail down her cheek, reattaching himself to her throat. She moaned even louder and he never wanted to let go.

“That feels nice,” she said, breathlessly. The grip on his hair grew tighter but he didn’t mind. She could poke, pull, or prod, any part of him and he would let her.

“You feel nice.”

Without meaning too, she pressed down on his lap. And even through their underwear and the water of the pool, Steve felt ecstatic. He detached himself from her neck gasping at the pressure.

“Jesus Christ,” he murmured to himself but it might have been louder than he expected.

Y/N looked up at him with a smile. But as her eyes found his, Steve was confused as to why it started to vanish. Detaching herself from him, he watched as she floated away until her back hit the pool wall.

Something was wrong, he just knew it. Was it something he did or said? Was it the kiss?

“I should probably go,” she told him, pulling herself out of the pool.

“Oh,” he said in surprise. Why the rush to leave so quickly? “Okay…”

As he joined her by the lounging chairs, he watched as she tried to put a leg through her pants.

“Wait,” he stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him before straightening her back. “Don’t put your clothes over your wet ones.”

“How else would I-“

He interrupted her, knowing if he didn’t say what was in his mind he’d lose the courage to say it.

“-you can stay. Like, stay over?”

Why was he this nervous? He had plenty of girls over before. But with her, things felt different. Y/N raised her eyebrows at his comment.

“If you want to,” he rushed out to say. “You could take a shower, I could dry your clothes and-“

“Okay,” she spoke over him.

It felt like all the air left his body. “Yeah?” He asked again for reassurance. Slowly she nodded, a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Okay yeah. Cool, um…this way.”

Steve’s hands twitched nervously as he sat on his bed. Y/N was in the shower, due to come out any minute. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had a girl over before. Just that the last person to sleep in his bed broke his heart. They had shared a space, gotten warm together under his blankets, baked in the morning sun. It held more meaning to him than he realized before.

As he clutched his hands, trying to calm himself down, the door creaked open. He looked up, watching as Y/N hesitantly peered in. As soon as he saw her face, it was like there was a calm that washed over him. The idea of having someone sleep in his bed filled him with anxiety, but when he saw Y/N it all faded away. He wanted her next to him, he wanted to share his space with her.

Closing the door behind her, Y/N stood awkwardly across the room. But Steve couldn’t help but smile. She looked so cute in his clothes, the fabric clinging to her skin in ways that left little to the imagination.

“I left the towel in the laundry room,” she said. “I hope that was okay.”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, being pulled from his thoughts. “Yup that’s okay. I already started the load on drying your clothes.”

“Cool,” she said, intertwining her fingers in front of her.

Steve motioned to his bed. “Do you prefer a side or-”

She shook her head. “Nope. I-I’m fine with either.”

Steve hummed an agreement, moving to take the ride side of the bed. He watched her join on the other side as he pushed the covers back. They both had romantic experiences; both sleeping with someone else in their bed. But in the moment, it felt like they were little kids again.

Steve carefully covered both of them, sinking back down into his mattress. He tried not to touch her, to give her space after what happened in the pool. And with her past, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Starting at the ceiling he heard Y/N sigh. Turning his head he could see her covering her face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, turning to face her. “D-do you want to sleep in my parents room? They’re not home-”

“No, this is perfectly fine just,” she dropped her hands onto her chest as she stared up, not meeting his gaze. He could see her eyes getting watery, a tear on the verge of falling. “I-I don’t wanna do anything with you like- sexually. And I’m sorry if that’s blunt but after everything with Gary-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured her to try and show her this was a safe space. “I wasn’t expecting to, honestly.”

She turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Really?” she asked, not convinced.

“Really,” he replied. “I haven’t really been the same since Nance and I broke up and- nevermind it’s not important. I could leave if this is too much.”

“No I want you here I really do I’m just…confused. I don’t know.”

She buried her head in her hands again, probably to stop him from seeing her start to cry. Steve ached for her. To see her like this, to know that this was the fault of another person. That a person could do that to someone else.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he told her, moving the comforter aside. “That way we won’t be alone but we can have our space.”

She looked back at him, her cheeks wet with tears. “No, I don't wanna make you sleep on the floor in your own room.”

“It’s nothing really,” he dismissed, grabbing his pillow and a spare blanket that was thrown across his desk chair. “Trust me, I’ve slept in worse places than on a rugged floor.”

“If I wasn’t a mess right now I’d ask you to elaborate.”

He fluffed his pillow, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. Y/N peered over the bed, still unsure of the sleeping arrangement though he could tell it was putting her more at ease.

“A conversation for another time,” he said and he swore he could see a smile on his face.

“Okay,” she said softly, her head disappearing as she laid back down on the bed.

There was silence for a moment and Steve thought that she had fallen asleep. But her soft voice glided through the air.

“Steve?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

There was another beat. Another moment of silence before he heard her whisper, “Thank you.”

Even on the floor of his room, the sun found a way to shine on his face. The warm light slowly woke him up, making him rub his eyes in an attempt to not blind himself. He almost forgot he was on the floor of his room until he rolled over to open his nightside drawer, feeling his hand brush against the floor instead.

As his eyes came into focus, he willed himself to sit up. Why was he on the floor again? Right, Y/N. Beautiful Y/N who should be asleep on his bed. But as he leaned his head up to see over the edge of the mattress, he was met with an empty bed. The covers were made neatly, all pillows back in place, as if no one had even slept there the night before.

Steve rubbed his eyes, like if he cleared himself from his sleepy haze she would materialize in his room. But as his eyes began to focus again, he found he was still alone. Grunting, he stood up, pulling the pillow and blanket he had used with him. He looked around the room and it seemed that nothing was out of place.

Did he imagine last night? Did he feel so alone that he willed himself to believe that Y/N actually slept over? His eyes continued to scan for anything out of place, a breath of relief when they landed on his dresser.

The clothes he had lent her were neatly stacked on his desk and if he had to guess, her drying clothes in the laundry room would be gone. So he hadn’t imagined it. What happened? Why was she in such a rush to leave?

Maybe she regretted the night before, thinking he hadn’t changed since his days at King Steve. Perhaps the kiss was too much and she regretted it. Steve’s mind spiraled down a dark hole he knew too well. If he didn’t stop now, he would trigger another panic attack.

Taking a moment before getting ready for the day, he sat down on his bed, closing his eyes. He just needed to breathe. In and out, in and out. Over and over again he focused on his breath, letting all his energy go into calming himself down.

He needed to talk to Y/N. To clarify everything from last night before it ate away at him.

Steve drove himself to therapy the following week. Partly because Robin was still back at her parents, and partly because he needed more time to think. As the time of the group session approached, he felt his heart rate begin to rise. His thoughts raced faster than they did when he woke up to find her gone.

He just needed to get there. Seeing her would calm him, reassure him that he didn’t fuck up. But as he parked his car and raced inside, he was saddened to find that she wasn’t there. Maybe she was just late. She had been late in the past, it was logical to assume she could be late today.

Matt and Sam had tried to talk to him but he only politely nodded as they spoke. His tongue felt too heavy in his mouth. Like lifting it to speak would only result in incoherent babbling. Thankfully, Dr. Ackerman’s presence let him stay silent.

The session began and Steve found himself staring at the door. He nodded, giving short answers when required but his attention was still trained on the closed door. She had to walk through the door. To join their weekly sessions. But as the topic drifted from one person to another, Y/N never arrived.

Steve was quick to leave, rushing to the parking lot to see if she had missed the session and was just arriving. To his disappointment, she wasn’t there. Not even a lingering smell of cigarettes in the air from her usual smoking spot.

He arrived early for the next session, and the next, and soon a whole month went by without her attending. Every session his eyes stayed on the door, willing her to walk through. Maybe if he was like Eleven, telepathically gifted, he could find out where she was. No, he thought. Even with those powers, it would be an invasion of privacy. And he didn’t want to be where he wasn’t welcomed.

Robin had been spending more and more time with her parents to figure out packing for the fall semester so Steve had been driving himself more often in Y/N’s absence.

Another missed therapy session had him driving home in silence, not even the radio playing to fill the void. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel in an irregular pattern as he turned onto his street. Slowly, his house came into view and he could see the vague outline of someone sitting on the front steps.

That’s weird, he thought to himself. Robin had a key, most people in the party did for emergencies. So why was she waiting outside?

As he pulled closer, almost fully into the driveway, his eyes adjusted. It wasn’t Robin, or anyone he had fought monsters with. It was Y/N.

Y/N, smoking a cigarette as she patiently waited for him to come home. He felt himself falter, his foot almost slamming on the brakes. She was here, more beautiful than the last time he saw her – though it was pretty hard for her to look anything but perfect.

The engine revved as he pulled into the driveway, pulling Y/N’s attention to him. Quickly, she stood up, putting her cigarette out with the heel of her shoe. Steve felt glued to the inside of the car. Their eyes had met, not separating as he put in the car in park. All he wanted was to get out and speak to her. But something in his chest tightened. If she had been avoiding him for the past week, she had her reasons. And part of him didn’t want to know for certain he was the problem.

He tried to move, he truly did. But his anxiety was ruling over his brain and he didn’t know how to stop it. Thankfully, Y/N seemed to notice. Moving forward, she opened his passenger door and climbed in. He never took his eyes off her, even when she turned her back to close the door.

Turning back to him, she weakly said, “Hey.”

“H-hi,” he managed to blurt out. Silence hung in the air, as he figured out what to say. Y/N continued to speak. “Sorry to show up at your house, I didn’t mean to be a bother.”

“You’re not a bother,” he blurted out. “Y-you’re never a bother.”

He was looking directly into her eyes, his gaze never wavering. It didn’t break until Y/N looked down at her lap and he could have sworn he saw a small smile form on her lips. A moment passed, then two, and neither of them talked.

Despite being uncomfortable with long silences, Steve didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t feel like his social battery drained when he was around her. If anything, she made him feel more alive. She knew what he was going through, one of the best kept secrets in his life and she knew.

“I missed you,” she said softly, still looking down at her lap.

“I’ve missed you too…Louise keeps talking about her one night stands and I don’t think I can take any more of it,” he said, gaining back some composure from earlier.

Y/N laughed, her shoulders hunching forward. She looked back up at him, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of his. As the smile slowly faded from her face, her eyes remained on his. It was clear she wanted to talk about what happened. Maybe she just needed a push.

“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Steve asked.

She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know it’s just – when I woke up in your room, my mind immediately went back to Gary.” She paused for a moment and he let her gather her thoughts. “I just went into a spiral like I did with him. Like did I force you to kiss me? Did you really want me sleeping in your bed or did I coerce you to? What would people think if they see the town whore sleeping with the former king of Hawkins High just – it’s stupid, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not stupid,” he said immediately, reaching his hands out on the center console. He didn’t want to touch her without asking, but wanted to let her know he was there if she needed to. He sighed.

“I didn’t expect to kiss you that night,” he continued. She looked up at him, biting the inside of her cheek. “But that didn’t mean I didn’t want you to. You in no way forced me to kiss you…and I was the one who wanted you to stay. I-I should’ve been more vocal so you didn’t feel forced to.”

Y/N nodded, leaning forward with her hands on the center console, not quite touching his.

“If you want to keep seeing me, friend or something more, I promise I will walk you through everything thought in my head so we’re on the same page.”

She raised an eyebrow, some color coming back to her face. “Every thought?”

He nodded. “Oh for sure. Like how I’ve been craving a ham and cheese sandwich since I woke up this morning.” She giggled again at his obvious attempt to make her feel better. “And like how I’d really like to hold your hand right now.”

He stared at her in his car, the sun slowly setting outside, and felt the touch of her fingers against his. It felt like an immediate release, a tightness he didn’t know was there unfolding in his chest.

“I would like to keep seeing you too,” she told him, and it was like his heart was doing a million leaps of joy. “I don’t know if I can handle anything more right now,”

“-and that is completely fine with me,” he reassured her quickly, feeling a tight squeeze of reassurance in his hand.

“Thank you for understanding. In the future, if I’m ready…I’d like to explore that possibility with you.”

Steve gave her a big grin, not trying to hide what he was feeling. “Good, uh, that’s good to know.”

They sat in his car, hands intertwined like the rest of the world didn’t matter. Like their pasts and reputations didn’t haunt them like a shadow. For now, they had each other and that was all they could ask for.

Steve didn’t need some fancy school or big corporate job. Just someone who understood him, who knew what it was like to feel the things he felt and not be judged.

He was happy he finally found someone who did just that.

Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @halflifejess @nix-rose @palmtreesx3 @cilliansnostolgia @sweetdazequeen

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wineauntie · 23 hours

Note

evie and mom surprising Quinn with adoption papers🥺🥺

OH I LOVE THIS! (This is one longggg blurb, basically a fic without all the formalities)

Also I wrote this in under 25 mins and it’s severely unedited due to it being 2am

universe masterlist

Evie was seven when she asked if Quinn was her real dad. Your smart girl knew she looked nothing like Quinn and that Quinn was her ‘Winnie’ up until she’d started calling him dad when she was four.

You’d never actively hidden the fact Quinn wasn’t her dad, but Evie had never been fully interested in the fact or conversation at all.

She’d popped the question in the car on the way to school and despite your preparation for the day you knew would eventually come, you found yourself hurriedly taking Evie to a small diner nearby instead of school that day.

The two of you had sat down with hot chocolate and pancakes as you explained that Quinn wasnt her dad by blood, but he was her dad by heart, and that’s all that really mattered.

Evie was curious, she asked about her ‘blood dad’ and why she had never seen him. You treaded carefully around the subject, cautious so as not to hurt Evie in any shape or form.

Evie’s biological father was a horrible man whom once told that you were pregnant, had broken up with you, told you he was sleeping with your best friend, and then demanded you got rid of Evie, or ‘it’ as he’d called her.

You avoided saying any of this to Evie, simply saying that “he wasn’t ready to be a dad and then he had to go away.”

Evie looked a bit confused and as you expected a wave of questions from her, she shrugged saying “Dad was ready to be a dad.” And then proceeded to ask for more pancakes, knowing you’d give into her every whim at that moment.

After another plate of pancakes later, and the two of you cuddled side by side in a booth Evie had yawned, and curled into you, her voice small and tired as she whispered “I wish dad was my actual dad.”

Your heart cracked at her defeated voice, but a niggling thought arose in your head. A thought that pestered you to the point of restlessness, to the point where the world ceased to exist outside of your little family.

You’d told Quinn what had happened that day and he supported you whole heartedly, even going as far as having a one-on-one conversation with Evie about it. You allowed the both of them to talk in private only hearing snippets like “you’re my kid, bug, no blood will change that.”

And

“I love you too, now why don’t you go grab a movie and you, me and mom can go watch it?”

You spent days upon days mulling over the thought that lingered and grew exponentially by the hour and before you knew it, it was two weeks later and once again, you were driving Evie to school.

“Hey, Evie?” You asked tentatively. Your sweet little girl’s head bobbed up and down with a small hum as you pulled over the car to face her. “You know our talk we had about dad not being your blood dad?”

“And that dad is my heart dad!” Evie excitedly added, her teddy bear, Ted, held in one hand as her eyes twinkled. No matter how old she got, the teddy gifted to her by Quinn’s brothers, always accompanied her in the car on the way to school and remained there until she was collected afterwards.

“Exactly,” You smiled softly, your face completely losing any tension at your girl’s words. “Well, how would you like it if Dad became your real dad…your legal dad?”

The thought had been floating around for the past two weeks and it hadn’t been the first you’d thought of it. What you had with Quinn was undeniable– the two of you had been together for five and a half years, almost six years and he had become so ingrained in every aspect of your life and being.

He loved you to the moon and back, his care and love shining through with everything he did. He’d even gifted you a promise ring a year ago, an act of complete and pure commitment to you and Evie. Your daughter had gotten a small, dainty necklace, that mimicked the design of your ring.

Quinn was in it for the long run.

He knew it, and so did you.

“My legal dad?” Evie questioned, sounding out the sentence like an intricate problem.

“It means that he’ll sign an adoption paper, saying that the world recognises him to be your actual dad, and not just your heart dad. He’ll adopt you.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Is that like what people do with dogs?”

You tilted her head at her question with a light laugh. “I suppose it is,” you shrugged.

“I like dogs…I want Dad to adopt me.”

And that was how you arrived at this very moment. It was the beginning of playoff season with the Canucks dominating their first game and Quinn playing incredibly.

The three of you had decided to have a nice family night with a dinner consisting of food you’d ordered in and a movie night, where the three of you would watch whatever Evie desired.

Evie was like a spring, bouncing up and down in her seat in excitement, glancing towards you every now and again. Your girl was smart, when you told her that you guys should surprise Quinn with adoption papers, she was all for it.

Quinn was chatting away to Evie and you all dinner, explaining the playoffs to Evie and catching up on the day with you.

Things were running smoothly under Evie eventually cried out and whipped her head towards you, unable to contain her excitement.

“Mom, can we do it now?!” She pleaded, her wanting eyes shattering any resolve you possessed.

“Do what?” Quinn paused his chewing and placed down his utensils, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Evie beamed at him as you handed a large envelope to your daughter. “What’s that, Bug?”

Evie, now holding the envelope, felt a sudden wash of doubt cross over her, her eyes flitting towards you in worry.

“It’s okay, my brave girl,” you murmured, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “Take your time.”

Quinn, unsettled by the sudden drop in Evie’s excitement looked ready to pounce into protective mode, with Evie wrapped safely in his arms. He remained quiet as you shot him a reassuring look, his gaze following Evie as she tread close to him.

“Dad?” Evie mumbled, her eyes pointed at her feet. Quinn felt his lips twitch up at the name. The name itself never failed to elicit the most glee-filled feeling he’d ever felt, and hearing it from Evie, his daughter, warmed his heart and soul.

“Yes, Bug?” He answered, his fingers lifting her chin carefully so that the two were looking at one another. His hand cupped her worried face, as he tried to rub soothing circles on her cheek. “Is everything okay?” He watched as Evie took a deep breath in before holding out the envelope.

“This is for you,” she explained meekly, glancing at you for support before focusing back on her feet.

“Me?” Quinn mused, cautiously taking the it from her. His fingers flipped open the unsealed envelope, pulling out a set of papers, neatly paper clipped together. His eyes scanned the first few words, which were big and bold across the top.

APPLICATION FOR ADOPTION ORDER

Quinn’s jaw went slack, his eyes immediately jumping to you, as you bit your lip nervously, urging him to react.

“You…me…you want me to adopt you?” Quinn’s raspy voice cracked as he refocused his attention on Evie.

“Not like a dog, but like my actual dad,” Evie supplied as if she was teaching him to understand it. She turned to you as you graced her with a smile for remembering what the two of you had talked about.

You didn’t often see Quinn cry. He wasn’t much of a crier you see. When he got upset, he got tired or quiet, so when tears tumbled down his cheeks you and Evie were lost in what to do.

“Oh no, we made dad upset,” Evie whimpered, looking at you in panic and devastation.

“No…no! I’m not upset,” Quinn choked out, his hands dropping the papers as he moved to fully face the small girl. “I’m just…I’m really grateful, Bug…this is, it’s just…thank you.”

Quinn captured Evie in a tight hug, her head burying itself into the crook of his neck as it once had whenever she was younger. Her own little arms had thrown themselves around his neck, clutching onto him as if he’d disappear if she didn’t.

You watched, with your own hot tears spilling over onto the cushion of your cheeks as your daughter hugged her dad. Watching the two together seemed to mend whatever your ex/Evie’s dad had broken inside of you.

“Mom, come join,” Evie’s muffled voice called out from its position. That was all it took for you to rush towards your family, enveloping they both in a tight hug. You watched as Quinn lifted his face, his reddened eyes, filled with love and happiness meeting your encouraging ones.

“You’re sure about this?” Quinn whispered to you and only you. He loved the two of you more than words could ever deny, there was no buts about it. He just wanted to be sure that you were one hundred percent certain on it.

You pressed your lips to his, feeling the saltiness of his tears against his plump lips before slowly drawing away to lean your forehead against his.

“I have never been more sure of anything.”

#wineauntie #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fluff #nhl x reader #quinn hughes angst #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes fanfic #quinn hughes fanfiction #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x you #quinn hughes x y/n #family is family universe #quinn hughes x single mom!reader #vancouver canucks

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eluxcastar · 3 days

Note

Heyy! May i request dottore x fem!reader who is a Porcelain doll(a puppet like scara but she's made out of Porcelain instead) and likes all those cute feminine stuff and collecting stuff like bows, Porcelain dolls and more. And I wonder if dottore would like the reader being pretty feminine and what's his opinion on Porcelain dolls (don't mind when i did any mistakes, English isn't my native language)

~🎀🧷

Dottore with a doll reader

── ୨୧：il dottore x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: silly rambles about Dottore and doll reader being cute

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: fem reader (no gendered terms really used tho tbh), soft dottore (listen it's my guilty pleasure), reader has the properties of porcelain, not proofread

୨୧﹑words :: 950

THIS ACTUALLY reminds me of one of the very very first drafts I wrote even before Tartaglia's little brotherfication (coincidentally also of Dottore) so this is very fun. That doll was one of Sandrone's creations and I've decided so is this one

this also may hit close to home did I ever mention my slight obsession with dolls (it's worse than slight)

Dottore has fixed you many times, much to his inconvenience.

He has warned you many times against becoming reckless, but you never seem to listen, at least in his eyes. You are by no means fragile—porcelain is hard to chip away at—your habit is simply that of finding danger. Finding it, throwing yourself at it, and landing yourself here in the darkest corners of the Fatui's headquarters so the doctor can carefully string you back together.

A gentle touch is not his forte, the practised hands of a doctor toiling away in his effort to put you back together. You prefer him to Sandrone any day for how much less pain you associate with him. He can scold you all he likes, but it may never work. You'll keep coming back and asking for his help when your strings come loose, and he will oblige your request for reasons that escape even him. It is a simple process now performed practically from memory.

Your habit of collecting frankly worthless items is certainly something. The bows, frilly dresses, and varying spools of lace you always claim you'll do something with and never do all feel normal. The porcelain dolls, on the other hand, are...interesting.

You are a living porcelain doll, and yet you collect them like novelty items. Isn't that like your equivalent of collecting human babies? Whatever it is to you, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, so he keeps quiet as you fuss over their placement and hair, straighten their clothes or whether you're willing to sacrifice the careful styling of their hair to a pretty hat. It keeps you happy and away from everything dangerous that you seem to always run into.

The truth is, you are not in the slightest delicate despite making yourself seem that way. What you are is heavy, too heavy to always be lifting onto an operating table and too heavy to be lugging your pieces around—porcelain is not light.

However, there is interest to be had in the workings of your construction, which he is reminded of each time he takes you apart and watches you divide into inanimate pieces. You talk to him sometimes, pleasant background noise, or maybe just annoying when you start asking foolish questions he can't possibly answer. He can handle every "What are you doing?" and "Why are you doing that?" but when you begin to show your ignorance regarding your own creation and try to turn to him for answers instead of Sandrone, it frustrates him.

You're supposed to answer his questions.

"She doesn't like my questions," you reason, and he never has to wonder why that is. Your incessant prodding and curiosity would irritate her, as does his indulging of your curiosity. She will complain that you're becoming restless and not as quickly satisfied, but really, nothing much at all has changed.

He can deal with your gravitation toward the things that make you happy if that's what keeps a smile on your face. One might even say he doesn't mind it, even when you pester him to help you tie your bows when they come loose in your hair or listen to your ramblings as you try to get him to help you with your dolls. He's better at tying knots than you. His hands have friction to keep the strings in place, unlike your slippery porcelain hands.

Your habits are endearing in their own way, the satisfaction with things that make you feel...human. You will never be, but the illusion of humanity and the yearning to chase it is not unlike the Segments. They think of themselves as human, believe they are, and exist as though they are human, yet they will never be as human as Prime. The only idea that makes sense is that you are displaying the same behaviour.

It is how Sandrone made you to be.

He can't say he especially blames you for following what your creation dictates. Your presence could bother him more than your interests could, namely a result of your many, many questions. It's not that you're sheltered or ignorant of the world around you—far from it—but most people don't know the nature of the things he works on, and you are no exception. You learned everything by asking, and he presents a wormhole of knowledge that you seek to understand by having him explain everything he's doing to you in great detail.

There's a bargaining that comes with it. Dottore will give you things so long as you stay out of the way, and you'll inspect them with a curious eye because he presents you with what Sandrone keeps you from. That is the only reason he can accept as to why you're talking to him, not that you like his voice and his smile, nor that you find the things he says fascinating or enjoy the light brush of his fingers against yours as he passes you your little 'distrations'. It's enough to watch him.

He complains his hands are always cold, and supposedly so are yours, but you've never felt temperature before. You like the faint glimpses of his scars, soft as his skin. They're not like yours, the closest equivalent being jagged cracks in your limbs that someone has to eventually fix before they worsen into breaks.

Things are comfortable around him. He is used to the odds quirks of sentient, inhuman beings, and a benefit of being around them is that they don't mind how weird he is by most standards.

You are something he can easily get used to lingering around. Despite your similarities to the segments, he must admit that you are far less of a bother.

#♡ — 🎀🧷 anon.#♡ — anon visit.#✦ — headcanons.#✦ — fluff.#dottore #il dottore #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #dottore x female reader #il dottore x female reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x female reader #genshin x female reader

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bluesidez · 2 days

Note

OKAY I HAD TO HIT YOU W THIS BC I NEED THIS TO COME TRUE 🗣🗣‼️‼️

AcademicRival!Miguel x AcademicRival!reader

where they will do quite literally ANYTHING (legally) POSSIBLE to one up each other.

whether their petty rivalry began in high school or first year of uni/college, IDC- but they absolutely despise each other.

and!!! at some point down the track, they forgot why they were beefing in the first place, only for it to start stemming from a place of 'jealousy' (yk how sometimes jealousy is actually feelings of romantic interest in disguise,, yeah, that) and it gets to the point where they are quite literally making it all their friends' problem bc of it.

like i can imagine reader drinking something that Miguel sees and Miguel going 'i need to have this all the time and sell it out so reader can never have any' and Peter is like '???', or reader finding out Miguel got a certain mark and goes 'nobody speak to me for a month i have to understand everything about quantum physics before that smug asshole opens his mouth' and Jess is like '??? just kiss, fym??'

and then they finally have a moment where they have no choice but to rely on each other- whether Miguel's car breaks down on the side of the road reader happens to drive by and she takes him to his, or if reader desperately needs help in a situation and immediately calls him bc she knows he'll pick up bc she needs scary dog privileges and thats HIM so then they end up having a moment of reflection together with either super fluffy smut or absolute debauchery and fluffy aftercare i totally dont mind either way.

IDK do you know what i mean??? 🫣🫢🤭

anyway LY BLUE-BLUE, thank yew for letting me ramble on 🤍🩵

Are you asking me to write this? 🧐 (I shall add it to the pending ideas list just for you 🐰🩵)

I wrote that as a reply as soon as you sent it, but now I have more ideas that I wanna yap about to go along with this.

SO!! You already have a rivals, enemies to lovers trope going on. What better way to make it even more fun than to add the stoic x chatty dynamic???

Like I’m imagining the reader and Miguel first meeting in middle or high school. He’s a transfer student that’s immediately making the top grades and people are like where tf did he come from?? Reader doesn’t really think anything of it, she just carries on with her school life, chatting away (and getting in on the gossip about Miguel).

It’s not until he ends up in the same class with reader one semester (probably in high school) that reader is finally able to be in close contact with him. He’s so quiet and a little boring, but there’s always random girls coming in and out of the classroom to attempt to chat to him.

They’re always bringing snacks or sweets for him. He always turns them down with a “No thank you. I don’t like chocolate.” type of response. (What he thinks to be polite and cordial)

The guys in the class think he’s a huge jerk. The girls in the class still fond over him. You think he’s an oddball, a weirdo. But you really have no solid information to justify it.

It’s not until one day that the teacher asks this obscure question that he pisses you off. (I havent thought of a weird question yet tho). Everyone else has given crude or stupid answers, riling each other up and joking. You raise your head to give the most out-of-the-box, yet plausible answer that leaves the teacher impressed and the class laughing in shock. Miguel scoffs and debunks it so fast, that you start to feel like one of his rejected groupies. If you thought the laughter for your answer was loud, the laughter for his sounds like the crowd in a football stadium.

You’re embarrassed but you don’t really show it. You just brush it off and joke with everyone else like usual.

Then, one of the class’s first huge tests come. You’re gunning for the number 1 spot although you figure it won’t be too hard with half of the room being class clowns and the other half not giving af. You read over the material once and already have a good grasp on it, so you joke around with everyone else. There’s rap battles and TT routines. You guys even manage to get the teacher in on some of them. From the front of the room, you can see Miguel glancing back at you with such a sour look on his face. Wtf was his deal??

Test day finally comes. You’re the first to turn yours in with a smug smile on your face. You even take a nap until the next bell.

You’re on cloud nine for about a good week. Although, every time you open your mouth in class, Miguel looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Then, the time came for the teacher to hand out the papers. He was pretty theatrical and loved to announce who got the highest score.

You were gearing up for him to say your name. And you don’t know of you’re crazy, but you’re certain your mom didn’t put “Miguel O’Hara” on your school registration form.

You frown as you come back to reality, watching as teacher handed him is paper. From your seat, you can see the bright red 100 in the corner, a smiley face to adorn it.

Then the teacher hands you your paper. A 99.5. Just 0.5 points from a perfect score. And what you got points taken off for is something so ridiculous that you could scream.

You can see him in your peripheral as you chat with the other students about the answers. Just as you discuss your silly mistake you take a small look at him. He has a faint smirk on his face, as if to laugh at your downfall.

From then on, you decide that it’s a war.

[and obviously, the story would travel with them as they grow. Once they’re adults, I can imagine Miguel to still be this same stoic, yet more approachable person who has had a ROSTER of hookups and a reader who’s still so flirty and chatty, yet can’t find a good partner to save their life. The dynamic of him knowing exactly how to make reader feel good verses reader being overwhelmed for once would be sooooo good]

What do you think Lexie-bun?? 🥸

#lab testing 🔬#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader

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wrr000 · 2 hours

Text

"Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

AN: hello! i wrote this for fun, it's nothing serious or special, i just needed to do something with myself. hope y'all will enjoy it anyway lol (also, i had that one scene from shrek 2 in mind)

»»————-　♡　————-««

Summary: the night wasn't peaceful for the ghoul because reader talks too much

Warnings: english is not my first language; reader is female; it was supposed to be more of a comedic oneshot; a lot of inner thoughts

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

The night was getting cold. Chilly air mixed with the pleasant warmth emanating from the fire, touching your red cheeks. It was a nice feeling, especially after a whole day of walking in the brutal heat. The sun was killing you and the night was a nice change. 'I fucking hate wasteland', you thought to yourself every day. Burning sun, disgusting monsters, crazy raiders or even that ghoul, literally everything could kill you any minute. It was hard to survive out there alone ans you knew that. Maybe that was a reason why you didn't ran away from him yet.

You sat by the bonfire with your legs pressed to your chest, staring into the sparkling flames. Hands still tightly tied, of course. The other end of the lasso held the ghoul whom you met a few days ago. He was sitting on the other side of the fire, leaning against a huge piece of something wooden. He looked like he was sleeping with a cowboy hat covering his face. The ghoul wasn't like anyone you've met before, but you weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. He did tied you up after all and have gave you no choice, but to travel with him to God-knows-where. On the positive side - he didn't killed you. And that was something unexpected.

"So...", you couldn't stand the silnce anymore, "are you gonna finally untie me?"

No response. Was he really sleeping or just pretending that he didn't hear you? It was in his style, to be honest. Ever since you met him, he seemed cold, selfish, like he doesn't care about anything else in the world but him. Sometimes straight up annoying, sometimes kinda funny and nice in a twisted way. These mixed feelings made you somewhat intrigued.

"Hellooo..? Did you hear me, Mr. Ghoul?", you never called him like that before, but you wanted any interaction.

"Listen lady" , he didn't looked at you. "I need some peace and quiet so no stupid questions or talkin', got it?"

"Oh, come on! We have been travelling for days! I'm not gonna do anything stupid", it was this time when he was just annoying as hell.

"I bet you won't, sweetheart", you knew he smirked under that stupid hat.

By anything stupid you meant something like killing him or running away. First of all, he was very skilled and you knew that attacking him was suicidal mission. Second of all, you could try to escape, but you didn't know if it was even possible with this man and did you really wanted to? On one hand, there were plenty ways for him to hurt you. Shooting, beating, selling, starving you to death or worse - eating you alive. It was something... common on the wasteland. People were doing everything to survive and as crazy as it sounded, you understood it, the ghoul knew it as well. But on the other hand, after raiders killed your parents, life became harder than before. You hated it and what you hated more was loneliness. You had none, no friend and no family left. Maybe it was delusional, but you hoped for befriending the ghoul and travel with him for a little longer. Or maybe he could help you made it to town where you could stay. In that situation you didn't have many options (it didn't work by force anyway) to consider or anything to lose, to be honest.

"So what, are you gonna keep me like this to what? Sell me for chems? Or eat me one day?", you spoke once again. "You know, both options are pretty problematic for you because, I mean, you are really planning to sell skinny, dehydrated girl and hoping for decent payment?", fake scoff escaped your mouth. "Keep dreaming. I am way more useful as a compa-"

"Oh, for fu-", he straightened up, finally looking at you.

You didn't have many opportunities to meet him face to face and take a closer look. Beautiful eyes spoke more than thousand words, that's for sure. The most noticeable thing was the lack of a nose, but aside that the face was handsome. You could imagine how he looked like before the ghoulification. In fact, you always thought that people were exaggerating with their disgust towards non-feral ghouls. They were still humans, right?

"You asked me a milion questions already, while I couldn't ask you one", you heard the irritation in his voice. "You better don't cross the line"

Classic threating. You rised your tided hands, palms facing him in surrender. It wasn't the right time to ask about the future and you didn't wanna cross the line, at least not that night. He was looking at you for a moment, making sure you wouldn't ask anything else and returned to his previous position. You stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking about and you couldn't read him. Not before, not now and probably not in the near future. He seemed like he could always read your mind while being completely unpredictable to you. What he thought about you? What was his plan? You should be very scared or just scared? Many questions were running in your head, but you couldn't find answer for none.

That silence was overhelming. Sure, the sound of camfire was nice, but your thoughts were getting weirder and weirder. You needed something to occupy your mind and because you weren't the best at small talk (or starting a conversation at all) you came up with the stupidest idea.

"What it's like to be a ghoul?", you mentally slapped yourself, but there was no turning back now. "I mean, how did you become a ghoul? It was quick or it was a long process? My parents never told me much about ghouls"

Deep, long sigh escaped his mouth. He looked at you again, not bothering to move his body. Even someone like him lacked words and strength for you.

"Did someone ever told that you talk so much?", a ghost of a smile crept across his face.

"Actually, yes, my father told me that once", you smiled proudly.

"No lesson learned", you quite enjoyed his harsh voice with strange accent. He definitely didn't talk enough. "Can you be quiet for five minutes?"

"Hm, I'm afriad no, Mister", then it striked you. "I don't know your name! I won't shut up until you will told me your name. Wait, you do have a name, right?"

"Yes", you felt annoyed again by his lack of cooperation.

"Well..? You know my name, even you don't use it, may I know yours?"

"Cooper", the ghoul hide his face under the hat again. "Now, let me rest for a while, will ya?"

Bright smile appeared on your face. That was what you called a progress. It was genuinely a cool name and suddenly you started to wonder if he liked yours.

"But...", you heard a growl from under the hat, "we will talk about what to do next? I know how things works out here, but... We don't have to be enemies. I know you want to survive and I don't wanna be your prisoner forever"

You were on thin ice and for the first (and not last) time in your life you couldn't gather your thoughts. You wanted to tell him a lot of things in one go.

"I'm not your enemy, sweetheart, you don't have to worry. Now sleep or I'll have to shoot that pretty face"

You noded quietly. You knew that tomorrow you would try to talk to him again, still hoping for some sort of cooperation or agreement. Your life was on the line, after all. Not to mention that he called you pretty and even another threat couldn't take it away from you. Maybe that was the sign that he doesn't mean no harm to you, there was a hope, at least.

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout series #fallout x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #fallout the ghoul #fallout cooper howard

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guccixstyless · 2 days

Text

Confessions

Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader

Word Count: 1918 Words

Summary: Sunghoon and Y/n are childhood besties, but Y/n is in love with him although his heart is taken by someone else. What will happen when y/n finally confesses and he rejects?

A/N: Wrote this oneshot on a rush, hope you like it! Please leave a comment, it would mean a lot xx

Jake Sim Imagine

***********************************************************************

Sunghoon and Y/N had been inseparable since they were kids. They were the epitome of the classic best friends, finishing each other's sentences, sharing inside jokes, and being there for one another through thick and thin. Y/n cherished every moment spent with Sunghoon, but there was a secret she harbored deep within her heart—a secret she could never bring herself to confess. She was hopelessly in love with him.

But there was a catch, he was dating someone else. His girlfriend, Rim, was perfect, beauty with brains as they say. They've been dating for 2 months now.

"Just a little bit of love," Ariana Grande's melancholic melody played softly from the nearby café (the irony), casting a bittersweet spell over the night as the two bestfriends strolled on a Tuesday autumn evening. Y/n's gaze lingered on Sunghoon, the way his eyes sparkled with genuine joy, and she wished she could freeze this moment in time forever.

As they settled into their usual spot at the café, Y/n couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom creeping into her chest. After placing their beverage order, they both took a seat and she watched Sunghoon's eyes light up as he spoke about his girlfriend, a pang of jealousy twisting in her gut. She forced a smile, masking the turmoil within her.

She watched Sunghoon's eyes, so full of warmth and affection, and she knew she couldn't keep her feelings hidden any longer.

"Hoonie," her voice trembled with emotion, "there's something I need to tell you."

Sunghoon turned to her, his brow furrowing with concern. "What is it, Y/n? You know you can tell me anything."

Yn took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come. "I... I love you, Sunghoon. More than just a friend."

For a moment, there was silence, the weight of Yn's confession hanging heavy in the air. And then, Sunghoon spoke, his words shattering Yn's heart into a million irreparable pieces.

"I... I'm sorry, Y/n," his voice was barely a whisper, laced with sorrow. "I care about you, I really do, but... I'm with someone else."

Y/n felt her world crumbling around her, she knew what would be his response already but still the pain of rejection cutting deeper than any knife. She forced a smile, masking her heartache behind a facade of false bravado.

"It's fine, really! I wasn't expecting for you to reciprocate, I just wanted to let it out you know...couldn't hide it any further," Y/n smiled at Sunghoon.

"This won't affect our friendship, right?" Sunghoon asked worriedly, "I-..Y/n you're so special to me."

"We will be fine, Hoonie." Y/n assured him.

*******************************************************************

As the days passed after Y/n's confession, a palpable tension hung in the air between her and Sunghoon. She avoided his attempts to plan hangouts, citing various excuses that sounded stupid even to her own ears. Every time she saw him, her heart twisted with guilt and longing, knowing that she was pushing him away despite her deepest desires.

Sunghoon, ever perceptive, couldn't help but notice the change in Y/n's behavior. He could sense her pulling away, but he couldn't understand why. Y/n assured him it has nothing to do with the confession, so why? Was it something he said? Something he did? The questions swirled in his mind like a relentless storm, threatening to consume him whole.

One evening, as Y/n sat alone in her room, the weight of her unspoken feelings pressing down on her like a suffocating blanket, there was a soft knock on her door. She hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to answer, her heart pounding in her chest like a drumbeat.

"Y/n, it's me," Sunghoon's voice filtered through the door, tinged with concern. "Can we talk?"

Y/n's breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice, the familiar warmth washing over her like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. She opened the door slowly, her eyes meeting Sunghoon's in silent apprehension.

"Hey," Sunghoon's smile was hesitant, his eyes searching hers for answers. "Can I come in?"

Yn nodded wordlessly, stepping aside to let him into her room. Sunghoon entered hesitantly, his gaze sweeping over the familiar surroundings with a mix of nostalgia and longing. He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on his feet as he struggled to find the right words.

"Y/n, I... I know things have been weird between us lately," Sunghoon began, his voice soft with uncertainty. "And I can't shake this feeling that I've done something to upset you. If I have, please, just tell me. I can't stand this distance between us."

Y/n's heart ached at the sincerity in Sunghoon's words, the genuine concern etched on his face like a map of his inner turmoil. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, to bury her face in his chest and confess her love for him once more, but the fear held her back like an invisible barrier.

"It's not you, Sunghoon," Y/n's voice was barely a whisper, laced with sorrow. "It's me. I... I just need some time to figure things out."

Sunghoon's brow furrowed with confusion, his eyes searching hers for answers that she couldn't bring herself to give. He reached out to touch her arm, a silent gesture of comfort and reassurance, but Yn flinched away as if his touch burned like fire.

"I'm sorry," Yn's voice trembled with emotion, tears threatening to spill from her eyes at any moment. "I just... I need some space right now."

Sunghoon's heart sank like a stone in his chest at Y/n's words, the pain of her rejection cutting deeper than any knife. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close, to chase away the shadows that haunted her heart, but he knew that he had to respect her wishes, no matter how much it tore him apart inside.

"Okay," Sunghoon's voice was barely a whisper, heavy with resignation. "I'll give you the space you need. But just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready to talk."

With that, Sunghoon turned and left Y/n's room, the weight of her unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between them like a shroud. Y/n watched him go, her heart breaking a little more with each retreating step, knowing that she had hurt the person she cared about most in the world.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, but the distance between Y/n and Sunghoon only seemed to grow with each passing moment. They exchanged polite greetings when they crossed paths, but the easy familiarity of their friendship had been replaced by a strained awkwardness that neither of them could seem to shake.

Y/n watched from afar as Sunghoon's relationship with his girlfriend blossomed, her heart breaking a little more with each tender moment they shared. She knew that she had no right to feel jealous, no right to interfere in their happiness, but she couldn't help but wish that things were different—that she was the one by Sunghoon's side, sharing in his joys and sorrows.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing from his life, a void that no amount of laughter or love could seem to fill. He missed the easy camaraderie he shared with Y/n, the way they could talk for hours about nothing and everything all at once. He missed the warmth of her smile, the sound of her laughter, the gentle touch of her hand against his.

***********************************************************************

One rainy afternoon, as Sunghoon sat on Rim's couch in her apartment, she called Sunghoon to have a talk. The sound of the rain tapping against the windowpane like a melancholic melody, he found himself lost in thought.

Rim sighed as she entered the living room and took a seat beside Sunghoon.

"Sunghoon, I like you a lot," she began, her voice trembling slightly with emotion, "but I know you and Y/n are meant for each other. We had a good run of few months, but even we both know it won't last long."

Sunghoon felt a lump form in his throat at her words, the guilt and sadness threatening to consume him whole.

"Rim babe..." He reached out to touch her hand, a silent gesture of gratitude and regret, but she pulled away gently, a bittersweet smile playing on her lips.

"I'll always cherish the memories we shared," she continued, her voice soft with nostalgia, "but I can't hold onto something that was never meant to be. You deserve to be with someone where there is mutual love, Sunghoon. And that someone isn't me. I see how longingly you look at her."

Tears welled up in Sunghoon's eyes as he listened to her words, his heart breaking a little more with each passing moment. He knew that he had hurt her, that he had let her down in ways he could never fully comprehend, but he also knew that he couldn't deny the truth any longer—that his heart belonged to Y/n, now and always.

"Thank you," Sunghoon whispered, his voice choked with emotion, "for understanding. For being so... selfless."

************************************************************************

With a sense of determination burning in his chest, Sunghoon grabbed his umbrella and headed out into the rain, the memories of his past with Y/n swirling around him like a whirlwind. He knew that he had to make things right, that he couldn't let fear and doubt stand in the way of his happiness any longer.

As he approached Y/n's house, his heart pounded in his chest like a drumbeat, the anticipation building with each step he took. He hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to knock on her door, the sound echoing through the silence like a thunderclap.

Y/n opened the door slowly, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of Sunghoon standing on her doorstep, rain-soaked and breathless. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word, Sunghoon took her in his arms and held her close, his heart racing against hers in a symphony of longing and regret.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," Sunghoon's voice was barely a whisper, his words lost in the storm raging around them. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for not realizing what was right in front of me all along. I love you, Y/n. More than just a friend."

Y/n felt her breath catch in her throat at Sunghoon's confession, her heart soaring with a joy she had never known possible.

"What about your girlfriend?" Y/n asked.

"Y/n, we broke up," he confessed softly, his words hanging heavy in the air between them. "We both knew it wouldn't last long, she was very understanding."

Y/n felt slightly guilty but also she was grateful Rim was such a great soul.

She begin to approach Sunghoon, taking little steps.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly, clinging to him as if he were the anchor keeping her from drifting away.

"I love you too, Sunghoon," Y/n's voice trembled with emotion, tears mingling with raindrops on her cheeks. "More than words can say."

And as they stood there in the pouring rain, their hearts beating as one, they knew that they had finally found their way back to each other—that no amount of distance or doubt could ever tear them apart again.

For in each other's arms, they had found the love they had been searching for all along—a love that would withstand the test of time, a love that would light their way through even the darkest of storms.

#sunghoon #enhypen #park sunghoon #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon angst #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon imagine #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #park sunghoon x reader #sunghoon fic

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riseoftheangstywriter · 3 days

Note

How do you think rise donnie would deal with his s/o starting to call him a tsundere as a term of endearment ?. (Cuz he is a tsundere).

Thank u for the ask!! Here's a little something I wrote on how I think it would play out. Hope you enjoy :))

"You know what y/n?" Leo tells you during one of your many reality tv watching sessions. "Ever since you and Donnie started dating, it's made me realize something... he's such a tsundere, don't you think?"

You turn to look at the slider, head tilting in confusion at the term. "What's a tsundere?"

Within seconds Leo's mouth has dropped considerably. "What?" He pauses the tv. "What do you mean you don't know?!"

As he shakes your shoulders, all you can do is awkwardly smile. "Am I supposed to?"

Leo shakes his head. "I really need to get you into more anime..." He sighs, pulling out his phone. "Don't worry, Leon's got it."

He shoves his phone in your face, and you read the text once your eye's adjust. "A tsundere is a character who switches from being tough and cold towards a love interest into being soft and sweet."

You look at Leo, who's wiggling his nonexistent eyebrows. "See? You can't read that and tell me that isn't describing Donnie."

"I mean, I guess you're right." You hum thoughtfully. "I've never thought about it like that."

Leo's considers your agreement a win, and he grins. "Exactly! I know these things.. it's a twin sense, you feel me?"

You nod, always finding humor in the whole "twin sense" thing when they don't even look remotely alike. They still debated about who was the "older twin" to this day. "Sure."

He nudges you. "Just means you're special, y/n."

His words make you smile. It was relieving to hear that Donnie's brothers thought you were good for him. "Heh. Thanks, Leo."

"Anytime."

After your conversation with Leo, you decide to start messing with Donnie a little bit. It starts off harmless, the first time you call him a tsundere, he reacts as expected, extremely confused (and flustered) because how the hell did you know that word?

He suspects its Leo's doing immediately, but you act clueless, skipping off like it was nothing.

Then you do it again, and again, and again. Now, tsundere has been added to the long list of nicknames you have for the soft-shell. It started off as an innocent joke, but honestly, it was very fitting. Besides, you liked the reaction Donnie had every time. You enjoyed catching him by surprise.

Like tonight, as you depart his lab to head home, you whisper into his ear as you kiss his cheek.

"Goodnight, tsundere." You smile when you hear his breath catch, satisfied with yourself as you turn away, light on your feet.

"Y/n, wait."

You look back to see where you left him, sitting in his chair but facing you.

"Yeah?"

"In the past sixty five days you've called me tsundere a total of twenty eight times."

You weren't expecting that. You cross your arms, interested to see where he was going with this. "Oh, so you've been keeping track?"

He blushes, dismissing your words. "That's not the point. The question is why? Why that word, out of all words? I know Leo taught it to you, so don't even try to deflect."

You think about how to answer, before you settle on the perfect response. You laugh to yourself, smiling.

"I mean, it makes sense right?" You approach him, noticing how he looks you up and down, swallowing. What, was Donnie actually feeling shy? "When I first met you, you were all grumpy and closed off."

You're inches away from him now, and just to show the purpose of your next sentence, you put a finger on his plastron, right over the area that covers his heart. "Who knew I would be the one to peel back those layers to reveal my sweet, lovely partner?"

You knew you had succeeded once Donnie's left a stuttering mess. You've only rendered him speechless a few times, but it never got old.

"If it really bothers you, I'll stop. Promise." You add with sincerity. You had a feeling it didn't, but just to make sure, you say it anyways.

"No." He rushes out immediately. "I-It's fine."

You smile fondly at him. "Good. Well, I should go now."

He nods, but not before he gently takes your wrist and pulls you down, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.

For a moment he rests his forehead on yours. "I.... like the nickname. It's cute."

The two of you part, and you can't help but get in one last tease. "Guess you'll be hearing more of it then."

Donnie rolls his eyes, but his tone is dripping with affection as he turns back around in his chair. "Bye y/n."

"Bye Donnie." You're almost out the door before departing with "I love you."

You linger just long enough to hear him say "I love you too."

#I love writing fluff #hehhe #rottmnt donnie #donnie x you #rottmnt #my writings #donnie x reader #donatello hamato #rise donnie

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frostyhelltime · 6 hours

Text

You Really Thought You Could Just Take Them From Me?

(Vox Edition)

(Vox x GN!Reader)

Author's Note: Bruh I was just gonna do this neat little idea of how some of the Hazbin guys react to someone kidnapping their S/O. It was just gonna be some headcanons, and then I was like ooo some headcanons and a tiny imagine. And then I did this because I was having fun and kept writing. So I'll probably just give everyone their own separate post since it ended up being longer than I anticipated haha. The others I'll do this scenario for are Alastor, Lucifer, and Zestial because I adore him and there isn't much of him. I'm open to others as well if anyone wants!

Tags: Violence, possessive Vox, I just enjoy writing possessive and protective people okay??? And I think you all do too since the other one I wrote that you guys liked he literally electrocuted someone to death for his S/O lol

Vox

Is annoyed at first when you don't show up to your scheduled date.

He's an incredibly busy man and you both know that and he does his best to make time for you so you don't usually miss these.

Once he remembers how unusual this is for you his annoyance turns to worry.

You really wouldn't miss one of these unless it was something serious, right?

His panic starts slow and builds itself into a crescendo over time, even as he tries to calm himself and tell himself everything is okay even as his repeated calls go to voicemail.

With each successive voicemail left, the pit in his stomach grows larger and heavier.

It isn't much longer after that before he zaps himself away through one of his cameras, almost instantaneously zipping through the electric network to bring himself back into his office.

He ignores Velvette's question of why he's back so soon, single mindedly focused now.

As soon as he's sitting down and plugged in he's scouring every camera he has access to, going back to find your last known location.

His panic just rises the longer it goes before he finally catches sight of the back of your head and then the air leaves his lungs entirely. He hadn't even realized how dizzy he was becoming from holding his breath, or even that he was.

He eyes you now, looking for what happened. At this point he's almost praying you accidentally blew him off because it would mean you were safe.

But he is in Hell, and there is no God that would listen to his prayers down here.

Vox is tapping his foot impatiently and checking his watch for what feels like the hundredth time as he sits and waits for you.

You were so late. You knew he was busy, that these pockets of time he carved out for you were hard to come by. How could you possibly think to blow him off, of all people?! You've never done that before!

And then the jiggling of his foot stops, a realization dawning on him. You...hadn't ever done this before. Not in all the many many dates and rendezvous you've had. You... probably wouldn't miss this unless there was something serious happening. But then he's shaking his head and trying to rationalize it, not wanting to immediately go nuclear like Valentino would and then end up being embarrassed when you show up five minutes later. He calls you then, the profile picture of you blowing him a kiss appearing on his screen as the dialing starts. He raps his claws against the table as he impatiently waits for you to pick up.

But you don't pick up. He's trying to ensure he doesn't sound desperate and he hopes he keeps his voice level enough to not betray that he is beginning to get worried over you, again it would be embarrassing to get that worked up and you just got held up by something mundane.

"Hey Dollface, it's me. I hope you haven't forgotten our little lunch date? I was really excited to see you after a pretty boring morning. Call me."

He keeps it simple, like he's simply reminding you before he hangs up, like he isn't really that bothered. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair in the restaurant, trying to keep those paranoid thoughts at bay even as they gnaw at him.

Another five minutes and he's calling again. He doesn't hide his panic as well as he did the first time.

"Hello love, it's me again. Can you just...at least message me or call me so I know you're okay and just running late?" He finishes before shooting you off a text as well in case you couldn't pick up the phone but could text him.

But not even that works, and he's growling in frustration now. He swears if you don't answer this next call he's going to lose it, but even it goes to voicemail and he can't push the panic back anymore as he leaves one last voicemail, raising his voice loud enough for other nearby tables to hear.

"Okay. Look, I'm going to be honest with you. If I don't get a call or text back in five fucking minutes so I know you're on your way I'm tearing this entire fucking city apart until I find you."

To anyone around him this would sound almost like a threat, but if you had heard it you would know it was a promise of safety.

He waits until precisely five minutes pass, on the dot, and then he morphs himself into electricity, zipping his way through the electric network to get back to VoxTek.

He's so worried now he doesn't even register Velvette asking why he's back so early, and jokingly asking if you two had a spat. But she sees the look on his face and his silence, and it's enough of an indicator to leave it be, whatever this is. So she returns to her phone as she watches Vox go further in. She wasn't going to get involved in whatever mess this was unless needed.

He's plugged in before he's even sitting down fully in his chair, screens lighting up of views across the city and he's searching now. He starts with the route from the place you mentioned wanting to go to this morning to the location of the lunch date, reviewing footage to find something.

Finally, *finally* he catches sight of the back of your head, exhaling so hard it almost makes him dizzy. He hadn't even realized he had been holding his breathe.

He zeroes in on you now, looking to see what went wrong. You're walking fast and checking your phone, and he checks the timestamp and sees it is fairly close to when your date was scheduled. He feels relieved, but almost stupid with his over reaction. He actually drags his hand down his face in sheer embarrassment, his screen tinted pink along the center line. You were just running late. He's about to unplug and head back to the restaurant when he sees you duck down an alley for a shortcut.

He switches to another camera, that has a slightly better view of the alley just to ensure you did indeed make it back safely, and sees you run face first into the back of someone because you were checking the time again, so intent on making your way to him on time. You run into them so hard that they stumble forward and fall and you do too.

Vox can't pick up the sound clearly enough from this far, but he can tell you're apologizing but this demon doesn't seem to care. He's immediately grabbing your arms and trying to drag you along with him, you fighting every step of the way.

Vox didn't know what he was dragging you off to do but it doesn't matter. Either way this man can count the hours he had left to live on one hand. He makes the footage fast forward and follows along with his cameras until he sees the two of you enter a building.

Fucking finally, a lead.

He rips the cables out so unceremoniously fast that it hurts a moment, a pain dulled by the adrenaline he's feeling, and then he's zapping himself again to the camera he had closest to the building.

His worry had turned to anger, palpable to those around him from the errant sparks that bounced off the sidewalk with each step he took. Everyone in his way made sure to give him a wide berth, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of the war path he was clearly on.

He doesn't bother knocking, pushing the front door of said building in with sheer brute force. Perks of being a powerful overlord. He's stronger than he looks.

You're so close he's sure of it. The static electricity in the air is almost crackling as he begins to walk through the building, listening for any sound of you. When he hears none, he speaks.

"I ฿ɆⱠłɆVɆ you have ₴-₴Ø₥Ɇ₮Ⱨł₦₲ of ₥ł₦Ɇ." He almost bellows, voice glitching out heavily as he announced himself, hopefully so you could hear and alert him. But also to serve as a final warning for this demon that their time was coming. He's holding his breath as he listens, before he hears it.

A few loud and rapid thuds, almost like a fist banging on a wall, and he's focused on it like a hawk now, pace picking up as he makes his way to the room he's sure he heard it come from and then he finally hears the idiot's voice in a desperate heated whisper.

"Be quiet or he'll find me you stupid fuckin-"

. L̢̛͉͉̠̹̠ͭͦ͐ͧ̄̓̋̕͢͡͞_̸ͤE͚̦̻̪ͨ͑̄́T̴.̝͕̫̯̈́̅_̩͙̬̣̫̲ͯ̂̂̈̓ͩͨ̚͟ͅ T̥͖̑̎͝H̜̑͂́̚_͔̳͚̿̈́͒̾͟E̸̜͎̰̗ͭ̉̉͌ͧ͌̂̊ͬ͜M͉͖̙̓͆̆ͧ̿̏͋ͨ.̈́̅ G̶̡͓̰͚̭̖̈́̎ͩ̎͜͡͞Ȯ͔̠͈͔̉̄́ͤ͒́_̤͈͗.̨̣ͧ̀̃͞" -

The glitches and intimidating aspect to his voice are not intentional this time as the blue hue from his face lights up the scene before him, the hue of his screen quickly bursting into a brilliant shade of red, casting you both in a different light. This disgusting idiot's hands were on you, one covering your mouth to keep you from screaming.

The man lets you go like you're made of hot coals, and knowing he would not win this fight, attempts to run past Vox to try and escape.

But Vox is not letting this go. Not with how worried he had been, not with how this scum thought they could put their hands on his lover. Grabbing the man's arm hard enough to stop him in his tracks without barely even turning, electricity shoots through him enough to temporarily paralyze him.

But not kill him.

Oh no.

He had better plans.

With the immediate threat extinguished for now, he drops the now limp arm, letting it fall carelessly to the ground. He approaches you then, you already meeting him halfway to throw your arms around him. He can feel the sparks still coming off his body begin to fade away as you do though, his screen turning from red back to its normal blue. If the sparks hurt you, you don't say anything.

"Are you okay?" He asks, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up so you could sit on one arm and wrap your hands around his neck more easily, which you do eagerly, curling up into him seeking comfort he is more than happy to provide.

"...Y-yeah." Your voice is shakey so he knows you're trying to put on a brave face.

He's shooting off a text to a bodyguard at VoxTek and giving the coordinates of where they are as he figures out what his next course of action will be. He didn't want to leave you unattended, but it seems he needed to put this fool in their place as well.

"How about this sweetheart, I've got someone coming to escort you to the restaurant, you place a to go order for us, and bring it back to my office and we can have our lunch date there." He offers in such a sweet voice it almost gives you whiplash to hear his voice change from how he spoke to sinner before to this intentionally charming and sweet voice. He is still keeping you close as he eventually settles on a solution. He feels your arms grip him more tightly at the suggestion of him leaving you, even if it is with a bodyguard and he can already predict your question before you ask it.

"What about you? Why can't you take me?" You sound scared still even though you're trying not to and he squeezes you slightly in a way he hopes comforts you.

"I plan to take my time showing this sinner what happens when someone messes with what is m̥̲͓̫ͪ͆́ͫ̔̈͆́i̶̶ͫn̶̷̡̨̩̱̟̐̀̐̄͑ͤ͢e̷ͣ_̑͠." His voice takes on that threatening edge towards the end before he clears his throat, charismatic persona beginning to fall back into place once more.

"You just get whatever you want and I'll be there soon Dollface. I've already rescheduled my next two meetings, so I'll have time to teach him a lesson and have lunch with you." He kisses your forehead, only letting you down once you agree and seem okay with it. He would have to text his assistant on the way back to reschedule those meetings, he thinks to himself.

This way he could take his time with this sinner who deserves much more than a quick and easy electrocution death, and then take the time to enjoy the lunch he was supposed to have with you.

He takes a deep breath now, now that he has you safe and a plan to enact. Everything was back to normal and within his control like it should be. And this sinner? This sinner he would make an example of, to ensure no one else is stupid enough to try this again. It's been a bit since he's really gotten to enjoy his more sadistic tendencies, and this was the perfect opportunity.

#hazbin hotel #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel

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cloudlessly-light · 2 days

Text

The darkest parts of me (4/5)

A/N: Trigger warning for this chapter, a part of this is Hotchniss being very toxic towards each other (they’re serial killers so I think that might be a little expected), BUT I want to give a warning for that, and that part starts after *-* so jump to the next part if you don’t want to read that part!

Title: The darkest parts of me (4/5) Summary: They find each other in a dark world where they do twisted things. The only way things could have become more dangerous, is if they were together. Funny how life turns out.

Unsub!Hotchniss AU. Word count: 3k Rating: Explicit Warnings (for most or all chapters): smut, descriptions of violence, descriptions of murder, gore (nothing too explicit), mentions of weapons

It had come as a surprise for them, both of them sated after another night of killing and then as they watched the morning news the next day, a sketch that looked eerily like them was shown. Serial killer couple, victims found in multiple states was written in big letters above the sketch and Emily had almost dropped her coffee on the floor.

“How do they know?” She asked just as the anchor kept talking, and Aaron froze to the spot.

“A witness who encountered the couple in question in Georgetown has stepped forward…”

“The woman, the prostitute.” Emily concluded before he could say anything. “You said we didn’t have to worry about her.”

“I was wrong.” He turns to look at her just as she scoffed. “They never talk, she must have been brought in for something else.”

“What do we do now?” She asked, her eyes wide as she watched him figure out a plan. After a couple of seconds of silence he took her hand, the warmth of it so familiar to her by now.

“We lay low, we go somewhere we haven’t been. And if things calm down then we can figure out a new way-”

“They’re after us now Aaron.” She interrupts him. “We can’t just take a break and then go back to what we’re used to.”

He knows she’s right and he squeezes her hand tighter.

“We’ll go to California like we planned, and then we’ll figure it out from there. But we might have to leave the country.” He searches her face for a reaction, for her to refuse but it doesn’t come. And he realizes that she’s already started over twice before, she could easily do it again.

“Okay.” She says, her hand holding onto his for a moment. “But first we’re driving to California, I have a friend there who might be able to help.”

“Who?” His eyebrow furrows as she reaches for her phone.

“He helped me when I moved from Ireland, he’ll help me again.” She wrote the number on her phone on a piece of paper to be used when they got new burner phones. “His name is Clyde Easter.”

For some reason the thought of another man knowing her secrets sent a spark of jealousy through him.

“Why haven’t you mentioned him before?”

“There wasn’t any need to. Just like we want out privacy for our… activities, he needs privacy too.” She catches the darkness of his eyes, feels his hand hold hers even tighter and she smiles. “Don’t be jealous honey.”

“I’m not.” He lies and she chuckles slightly as she straddles his lap on the couch.

“You are, and it’s hot.” She kisses him, kisses him until his hands are banding over her lower back to pull her further into him. “I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours.” He promises.

It was strange, they had gotten a lead, they knew they were looking for a couple that traveled through the country. They even had a sketch that had been circulated to the press. They were closing in, and then the murders stopped. Dave rubbed his forehead, they hadn’t had another lead in months, he was pretty sure that they didn’t even have a new victim, nothing turning up anywhere even after letting police departments know what to look for.

“They must have seen the press conference, must have seen the police sketch and decided to lay low.” Jason says as he sips his coffee across from him.

“They’re smart, but killers like these, they’re addicted to it. It shouldn’t be long until they either of them break.”

“Maybe they’re using each other to get their urges under control.” His words causes Dave to look up from his own coffee mug. “Maybe the fact that they can go as long as they can without killing, is because they have each other.”

Dave knew that he was right.

*-*

They don’t fight often, but when they do, it’s like everything between them. It’s intense, loud and explosive. It’s dangerous.

He’s not sure what set them off this time, probably something dumb, probably the fact that they hadn’t killed in months. It made him irritable, it made her push his buttons in ways she usually wouldn’t, just to get a rise out of him. And it worked.

“I swear Emily, if you don’t shut up I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Her tone is icy, her smirk condescending as she interrupts him. “You’ll what Aaron? You’ll hit me? Be like your dad?”

It has the desired effect and he pushes her hard against the wall, the sound of her body colliding with it sending a satisfying shiver down his spine. His fingers dig into the back of her shoulders as he keeps her against the wall, his eyes locked on hers and he sees the familiar glint of pleasure in her dark orbs.

“You never know when to stop.” His words are hissed against her face and when she tries to squirm out of his hold he only grabs her harder, makes sure to leave bruises on her skin. “You think you’re in charge, but we both know that in the end you’ll be on your knees, begging for me. You’re not the one in charge here.”

She uses her strength to push him away, rage quickly flowing her veins. She had crossed the line first by bringing up his father, she knew that, but that didn’t stop her from feeling anger like fire inside of her at his words. He stumbles back, momentarily surprised by her strength and she smirks at the angered look on his face.

“You think you can control me?” She pushes him again, but this time he barely budges. “You’d be nothing without me.” Her words make something close to a growl rumble in his throat and she feels anger and arousal at the sound. He tries to grab her again, but she’s faster than him and she takes her gun from the table beside them.

“Is that how it’s going to be?” He chuckles, not afraid of her even when she points the gun at him. It’s not the first time, probably won’t be the last. He takes a couple of steps forward, stands close enough for the barrel of the gun to press against his chest where she keeps it steady, a look of calmness coming over her as she grips the gun tighter.

“Don’t think I won’t do it.” She whispers and he laughs again, cold and close to manic and it reminds her of every time he would strangle a man to death. Like he reads her mind, his hand wraps around her throat, his hold tight enough for her to go lightheaded.

“I know you want to, I can see it, how badly you want to.” He takes in the view of his hand around her throat, catches the way she smirks as his grip loosens for her to draw a short breath. And then he pushes her back against the wall again, his hand still around her airway and his other hand digging out his knife from the pocket of his jeans.

“You want to kill me?” She juts her chin out, the barrel of the gun still pressed against his chest as her finger hovers over the trigger. The feeling of cold steel against her stomach makes her gasp, and when he presses even closer to her, she can feel him, hard and thick inside his jeans.

“I could do it, you know.” His words are quiet and cold and she knows that he’s right. That the only reason why he doesn’t is because he loves her. She loves him too, in whatever twisted way they had found love in the darkness of their world. He grabs her throat so tight her eyesight goes blurry and she feels the tip of his knife cut into her skin, nicking it and she moans at the sting.

“So do it.” She challenges, forcing words out through his hold and he relents just slightly.

“Maybe next time I will.” He throws the knife to the floor and then takes the gun from her and places it back on the table. She stays still, watches him through narrowed eyes as he takes in the flush on her cheeks, the way her chest heaves slightly from deep breaths.

“Don’t think this mean I’m still not mad at you.” She grabs his shirt and pulls him against her.

“Oh I’m counting on it.” He smirks before catching her lips in a kiss. There’s nothing romantic about it, tongues fighting for dominance and hands tearing at clothes, ribbing fabric and skin until they’re both naked.

She bites his chest, her teeth leaving an angry red mark in their wake as she kneels before him. Her hand is too harsh when she grabs his cock, and when he hisses she smirks up at him in satisfaction. He doesn’t seem bothered, his fingers easily gripping her dark hair and angles her head back. When he pushes his cock between her parted lips he groans at the smooth, wet heat of her mouth.

“Told you, you’d be on my knees for me.” He taunts her and when she grunts his hold on her hair only tightens as he thrusts his hips against her face. “Look who was right.”

She almost bites down on his shaft in retaliation, lets her teeth graze his skin in warning and he lets up.

“I swear the next time I’m pulling the trigger.” She rasps, her voice thick with arousal before she takes him back in her mouth, her lips tight around him as she sucks.

He wants to reply, but her tongue is doing something wicked against his skin, and he can’t seem to form a whole sentence together. Instead he settles for thrusting harder, making sure to poke at the back of her throat until she chokes and her eyes fill with tears.

When she feels him pull her up to stand, she’s so wound up she can feel her slick on her thighs. His thumb gently brushes a couple of tears away from her cheek and she licks her bottom lip.

“You’re so pretty like this.” He whispers and then claims her lips in a kiss and swallows up her moan as his fingers find their way between her legs.

“Fuck me, Aaron.” She gasps at the stretch of his fingers, still nowhere near the stretch of him and he bites down on her neck.

“I love how wet you get for me, how much the thought of killing me gets you off.” He mumbles against her neck as he moves her back through the house they’re renting in California. When she falls back against the bed he’s quick to join her, his heated eyes locked on hers as he hovers above her. “You love the thought of killing me almost as much as killing other men, don’t you.”

“Yes.” She digs her nails into his skin, makes sure to break skin for making her wait and he grunts in pained pleasure. “Just like I know you want to feel me gasp for breath as you strangle me, I can see it on you every time your hand wraps around my throat.”

When he finally pushes inside of her it’s hard and fast, his hips pressing against hers for only a moment before he starts to move.

“You’re right, sweet thing.” He pants, his hips thrusting hard and deep, a pace that’s close to violent and she meets him with every thrust. “I dream of it.”

“I know.” She grunts at the feel of him, huge and rough as he fucks the anger out of them both. Her legs tighten around his hips, one hand moves down between them to toy with her clit and when she tightens around him only a few minutes later she feels him smile into her neck.

“That’s it, come for me.” He licks a stripe up her neck, tastes the vibration of her moan as her back arches underneath him.

She comes with a scream that she doesn’t even try to keep down, her body spasming as her mind goes deliciously numb from pleasure. He doesn’t stop, even when she lays back limply against the bed. Instead he replaces her hand with his own over her clit, relishes the whimper that escapes her at the overstimulation.

“Again.” He tells her and she knows what he’s doing. That he’s proving his ownership on her by showing her that no one else would get her like this, just like she would dig her nails and teeth into his skin to claim him. He already had scars, thin, barely noticeable lines from where she had drawn blood in the past on his ribs and back, and every time she saw them she felt satisfaction.

She comes again, her body always so responsive to him and when she gasps for breath he flips her around and pulls her hips up. His hand is hot against her skin when he spanks her, and she whines at the slight sting, back arching for more. He spanks her three more times before pushing back inside of her again and she’s quick to move back against him, meeting each of his thrusts.

He makes her come three more times, dragging pleasure from her until it’s more painful than pleasurable and when he comes it’s with a strangled groan, his hands tight on her hips and head thrown back as he lets the power of his release wash over him. She’s trembling underneath him, exhaustion and pleasure making her muscles ache and when he lays down beside her, she just barely has enough energy to turn her head to look at him.

“We need to find someone soon.” She says and he nods, knowing that if they didn’t they’d only end up fighting again.

“I know baby, soon, I promise.”

*-*

The next time they kill, it wasn’t supposed to happen. They were keeping a low profile, they had ever since the news broke about them. It had been easier than Aaron had thought, they had rented a house in the middle of nowhere in California, Clyde Easter had shown up with new ID’s and passports, given them instructions to stay put until things had calmed.

It had been close to three months now and just like he had predicted, the news stopped reporting about them, the magazines that had been littered with the police sketch of them were gone. Sometimes it felt like it had been a bad dream, but he knew that they had to continue to be careful.

But Emily was restless, she wasn’t able to stay in one place for too long. That’s why they had gone for a drive, to get away from the house, and then they stopped at a tiny diner on the way back. It almost felt like normal until Aaron noticed a man looking at them, and he immediately knew that they had been caught.

“We have to go.” He mutters as he motions for the bill calmly.

“Why?” She stays just as calm, but her eyes are zeroed in on him, her back to the man that’s still watching them.

“There’s a man at the bar, I think he recognizes us.” Aaron smiles his thanks to the waitress and pulls out enough bills to cover the tab.

“Go to the bathroom and I’ll go to the car.” She rolls her eyes when he arches an eyebrow at her. “He’s more likely to follow me if I’m alone than us together or just you.”

“Fine.” He agrees, because he knows that she’s right. He stands up and she follows and then he goes towards the back where the bathrooms were but he could see the man in his peripheral, watching them closely.

Emily walks slowly out the door towards the car. She feels someone watching her and catches the man in the bar’s eyes but she keeps walking. Her ears are trained on any sound as she steps outside. It’s dark out, for that she was thankful and like she expected, she hears the door to the diner open after only a few seconds.

“Excuse me?”

She turns to the sound of a male voice and comes face to face with the man in the bar.

“Yes?” She smiles sweetly at him.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” He walks closer, his phone in hand and she’s sure he’s already called 911, can hear the faint mumbling of a voice coming from the speaker..

“No, I don’t think so. I’m just visiting some family out here.” She backs up, continues further into the shadows and away from the lights of the diner. He follows her, but stays a few feet away.

“Is that so?” He asks and looks around quickly. “And the man you’re with?”

“He’s my boyfriend.” She talks quietly, makes sure that the 911 operator doesn’t hear her. The man stares at her for a few seconds, like he’s sizing her up and then he takes another step closer to her.

“The police are on their way, you might as well drop the-”

His sentence is cut short by Aaron coming up behind him, easily snapping his neck and his body falls to the ground. Emily smashes the phone quickly and opens the trunk to the car and Aaron places the body in the back.

“We have to go, the police are on their way.” She says, voice slightly laced with panic at being so close to getting caught.

“We need to leave, get away from here.”

With that, Aaron drives towards their rented house, feeling adrenaline rushing through his veins.

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotch x emily #aaron x emily #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss smut

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bewareofthenewphannie · 1 day

Note

Hey sooo could u pls share the twitter essay here👉👈

context

thank you for the ask, I'm honored that you want to hear my thoughts on this, and thanks char for sending your anon over to me!

okay, you see the thing is, the reason I blurred it out is a bit anticlimactic: I have no actual clue what I was talking about.

I don't actually know too much about this topic of what the dynamics between dannies and phillies looked like in the past because I've only been here since november last year and have never seen someone really discuss this in depth, I've only seen it being mentioned in passing. So everything I wrote was assumptions I made based on vague posts and my general understanding of dnp's and the phandom's history. I feel like this was enough to get the gist of this across to someone who doesn't really know dnp (apart from my previous elaborate ramblings about them) but not enough to post it on tumblr.

so if somebody has any input regarding this topic please tell me! and if I'm saying anything that's wrong (which is very likely) please correct me, I'm genuinely curious to hear thoughts on this by someone who actually knows what they're talking about :)

I will put what I wrote, along with some commentary, under the cut!

(addition: as I'm writing this commentary I'm realising how little I actually know, so please don't take this as actual information but more as...an interesting case study of how a new phannie perceives the history of the phandom)

first of all some more background info:

the original question was "[are there any people who] only like one of them and hate/don’t care about the other one?".

some shorter messages leading up to the long one seen in the screenshot:

there used to be a dannie/phillie divide but afaik all the way back in like...2013. now there are obviously people who prefer one of them but not in a way that they actively dislike the other one. and within the phandom I don't think there are really people who feel indifferent about one of them cause yk the thing is, these days it's impossible to watch one of them alone. dan doesn't use his channel, we wouldn't even see him if it wasn't for phil and even when he did a live stream thingy for his solo tour, phil was there. and phil either includes or talks about dan in every video he makes. so I guess either you like both or neither, you don't really have much of a choice also, they make it so goddamn obvious how much they love and care for and apprechiate each other and what an important role they play in each other's life, it would be kind of weird to claim to be a fan of one of them and then hate the person they like the most, yk

this was asked in the context of us talking about why there's this phenomenon that if you have a group of famous people who are strongly associated with each other (for example boybands or actors that work together on a tv show), there'll often be one person that is "hated" by the fandom. Their hypothesis was that this happens when "the one hated is either problematic, doesn’t like the other(s), or is more successful than the other(s)".

okay first the relevant part of my answer: I think overall you're right. I feel like if someone's more popular an important factor for them being disliked is that it feels like they think they're better/more important than the rest of the group. or if they all started out together that they don't apprechiate where they've come from, which both obviously hurts people who like that thing this person dismisses. but this also goes the other way, the people who like that person who is more famous often dislike the others in that group for being "jealous"/"leeching" off of the more famous person's fame.

and finally the thing you actually asked about, the long messages froom the screenshot broken up into multiple parts with the afore mentioned commentary:

now the less relevant part which is just me yapping about dnp and why this didn't happen to them I can imagine that at the very beginning some people probably didn't like dan because he was just some random dude, just another fan, who suddenly was part of youtube and attached to phil.

did...did this actually happen? it seems plausible to me, and I obviously know about charlie etc but how did people really react to dan suddenly being part of the AmazingPhil universe? I know it was an entirely different youtube culture back then and everything happened on a much smaller scale, so it's really hard to estimate how people reacted to this back then. in fact, now that I think more about it, judging from old screenshots I've seen, even at the very beginning people mostly seemed to be quite supportive of them and I think dan got an overwhelmingly positive reponse to uploading his first videos?

can't tell you exactly what went down after that but I do know 2012 was incredibly difficult (long story). things were very tense and especially dan was reallyreally defensive during that time and he had his whole "we're two seperate people" phase.

okay, so if there was any time in the phandom where there was serious tension between dannies and phillies it must've been during this time, right? because from recent discussions I know that there was a point where especially phil wasn't exactly treated the best but I don't know when that was. I feel like it would make sense here though.

anyway, at some point dan surpassed phil's subscribers and I genuinely don't know but I would assume that strengthened that dannie/phillie divide.

Again, I don't actually know when this happened (I would assume some time around 2013/14?) and I have absolutely no idea what the actual reaction people had to this was. but if I know anything about fandoms, this definitely must've stirred up...something. I don't know how obsessed the phandom was with numbers but even if it wasn't that bad, I can't imagine this happening completely without drama attached to it.

but one thing you need to know is that phil was always incredibly supportive of dan and the other way round, dan never talked shit about phil.

correct me if I'm wrong, maybe we simply don't talk about this time that much (with good reason) and I know dan said and wrote a lot of things that were very dismissive about some stuff etc. but in the clips and old posts I've seen he still emphasised that they were friends and didn't hate each other.

and thennn they started their bbc radio show, their joint channel, released a book, went on tour in 2015/16, basically they fully embraced their DanAndPhil brand. this was their peak in popularity and from what I've heard people say that joined the phandom at that time this dannie/phillie divide was basically gone by then because yeah, people liked their seperate things but what really made them blow up was the things they did together.

this is based on something I saw the other day. some people who I know joined the phandom around that time were talking about how they luckily never experienced that dan vs. phil mentality. that's why I wrote the things before this paragraph based on the assumption that the worst bit of the dannies vs phillies thing was before that era and kind of fizzled out by the time tatinof came around.

thennn the hiatus of the gaming channel, coming out (soulmates etc.), dan disappers from the internet (phil's just always there chilling btw). okay the most interesting part comes now, dan eventually writes a book and goes on tour. alone. now if we look at our hypothesis this would be the perfect reason for people to start disliking him, but not with them. phil goes behind dan's back to promote his book, before dan leaves on tour they make this video (https://youtu.be/2M2dF_21ANc) [edit: this is dilm in case you're wondering] where they keep talking about ohhh we've never apart for longer than to weeks oooh how will we cope blah, disgusting. dan makes a youtube series promoting the tour which phil is heavily involved with. and yeah, dan has this "I'm a strong independent dan" thing going on, but it's mostly part of his tour persona. (and also he did have to figure himself out for himself because he's been attached to phil since he was 18, so literally his whole adult life.)

I know some people disliked dystopia daily (which is valid but just for the record, I will defend her with my life) and I know some people generally didn't like/were disappointed with what dan was doing during that era. however. I know that's not representative of the whole phandom and I don't think (look at me assuming things again) those people truly hated dan for it but more like wished that things were different.

and then and then! after the tour nothing...until *drumroll* the gaming channel is back! aka, phil pushed dan to start making dapg videos again and dan's actually enjoying it. and they're fully embracing their DanAndPhil brand again. tl;dr I think the reason why this divide isn't there between them is [because of] how vocally and explicitly they support each other.

THE END

if you've made it this far, congrats, you get a cat! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

I genuinely meant what I said earlier, I would love to hear more "qualified" opinions on this! feel free to add to this post, completely unravel it...or ignore it if I was too offensively wrong about things :)

#misty says thing #dan and phil #answered asks #phan

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noriaki-kak · 3 months

Note

Can I hear more about Ava possibly?

HELLO! Sorry for taking truly an eon to reply, around the time you sent the message I was in the middle of moving. Between that and the holidays responding got away from me but I still really wanted to answer! Better late than never I suppose, so without further ado...

So explaining Ava's story requires explaining a good amount of world building. I think Thea has mentioned Demiphics before but the tldr is that they're the children of angels and demons. Heaven and hell have a long history not just with each other but also with Demiphics. Officially, while in the current era relationships between angels and demons are allowed, they're heavily stigmatized and they ARE banned from having children.

As an aside about heaven and hell for context. When I was building this world I knew I wanted it to be an angels and demons/heaven and hell, everything and the kitchen sink sort of setting. But to also kinda look at "Hey a world where people are judged by an arbitrary set of rules and sent to a nice place when they die or a place that sucks would be kinda bad no matter how you slice it."

I wanted to explore a world where heaven and hell are made, not by divine order as a machine that works naturally as intended, but as a concept that multiple institutions are seeking to fulfill. Hell functions as a collection of scattered monarchies, hell wears it's antiquated ideas on it's sleeve. There's the pits of burning hellfire and the society down there is unjust and nightmarish to live in, but demons and the humans cast down there ultimately just have to go about a daily life. It's not fun, it's hard to make a living, but you can still make friends and go to karaoke on the weekend.

Heaven is a very different brand of evil. They hide their ills behind fake pleasantries. They take the lions share of the work when it comes to "judging" humanity (hell is less interested in partaking in heaven's bureaucracy, as long as heaven sends them souls the higher ups are happy to leave the work to them). Heaven and hell are both vast but the first levels you'll see of heaven are seas of clustered office buildings. People's souls are judged by committees of angels, and there's a lot of people thus a lot of committees. A soul hangs in the balance and it's fate can be decided because George the Angel didn't drink enough coffee this morning and just really wants to wrap this up so he can go home.

There is no authority on who's good and bad, there's just rooms full of people arguing with bias and sticking people where they think they should go to meet a quota for the day. Over centuries the guidelines on good and bad actions are constantly being updated and changed, the fates of hundreds of humans are left to the whims of management. There have even been scandals in regards to higher ups pushing for harsher judgement when the budget for processing new souls into heaven gets a little tight.

Thanks to their intent to fulfill a role, humans who make it into heaven are treated fairly well! It's still a living moving society with quite a few problems and not some utopia but your average human is treated to a decent standard of living. This comes with the neglect of their own angels however. They pat themselves on the back for being better than hell, for being a more democratic society, but the angels at the top are largely from well off established families. Working class angels are sort of viewed as disposable.

That's actually a huge problem shared between heaven and hell, demons and angels both are treated as VERY disposable. An attitude largely influenced by the fact that both come into being in wide variety of ways. They can still be born the good old fashioned way but they're just as likely to be born from heaven/hell itself. "I don't have parents, I just popped out of the ground one day as a baby." is not an uncommon story sdfgh.

That brings us to demiphics, I think @dapper-comedy mentioned some of this when talking about Bishop (who will come into the picture again later with Ava hehe) I began writing down all the lore I could off the top of my head about them but then I remembered that I have an entire google doc concerning them! So thankfully I can just share this. (theres a tiny bit of info abt halos at the end which i havent covered BUT yknow more extra fun facts)

ASSUMING the document has been read, I can dive right in with Ava now! Ava ended up under heaven's care as a baby, she lived in the training facility for as long as she could remember and knew absolutely nothing about her birth parents or the circumstances in which she ended up there.

As a young child, the rotating cast of caretakers mean she didn't truly have a constant presence in her life, there were familiar faces but she wasn't allowed to grow truly attached to any of them.

They fed her the propaganda from a young age, telling her how if she's successful and that if she can learn to control her feelings, she can be free and travel not just heaven as an honored solider but see other realms as well.

Very early on she becomes fascinated and obsessed with having wings, demiphics wings manifest as non-physical extensions of their magic. So without her magic, she cannot have wings. It becomes the one thing she truly consciously wants for. The researchers and caretakers notice this and use this to "motivate" her.

Another formative memory for her when she's little, is meeting one of heaven's few success stories. A fully fledged Demiphic solider by the name of Zenith. She's not exactly the warmest and to put it bluntly she speaks like a bloodborne npc (She's got her own whole thing going on sdfghj) but the meeting inspires Ava and cements in her mind that she wants to be a soldier so she can be free and earn her wings.

Her childhood can be described as 1. Monotonous Martial Training and 2. Daily Evil Dark Therapy. She is raised with the intention of having her be able to fully control her feelings constantly. She's not allowed to form emotional connections, she's never allowed to have her own organic feelings.

As you can imagine this creates an intense disconnect between Ava and her own emotions. It's interesting because she's not trained to be emotionless, she's trained to be able to feel any emotion she needs at any moment. She's taught emotions in regards to what kind of magic it corresponds to.

She comes off as very congenial and cheerful because she's also taught about what emotions are expected from her in visible social settings as well.

She lives this deeply lonely, isolated, controlled life until she's 18 years old (or whatever the equivalent in angel/demon years, time moves weird in the different realms)

Around this time a new face enters the picture, an angel by the name of Katrina. Katrina is an angel that works for the government, she used to be a diplomat who traveled to hell but after a year long sabbatical on earth she returned to heaven and transferred to a different position within the government.

Her new position had her visiting the demiphic training facility very frequently and around this time is when she met Ava. When Ava turned eighteen she was given a lot more freedom around the facility. Thanks to her very consistent and good behavior, she was given permissions to move more freely and speak to more people as a sort of test of her training.

Most people passing through that spoke with her were cordial but kept their distance, either out of fear of her or fear of getting in trouble with heaven. Katrina is the first exception, she immediately has a fondness for Ava the first time they speak for a very specific reason. She sees her own child in Ava.

See, when Katrina was a diplomat she spent a lot of time in hell around a lot of important demons. During a party she may have had a one night stand with the ruler of the first layer of hell (He may be the ruler of the first layer aka The City of Dis but he's honestly more of a figurehead that just kinda swings his power around and parties. His many many children and employees do most of the actual work).

And that year long sabbatical she spent on earth afterwards may have had something to do with that. But yeah Katrina had a demiphic child of her own, and being a government worker she was deeply familiar with how her child would be treated in heaven if they knew. So she had her kid in secret and left him at the doorstep of the castle in hell with the hopes he'd have a better life as a prince in hell. (This is a whole entire other character I have named Odd who has a whole ton of other stuff going on but sorry my sweet lad, this aint about you right now asdfgh)

Anywho, Katrina was honestly sort of haunted by this and parts of her regret not trying to find a way to stay with her kid. She had always wanted to raise a kid but life never worked out that way for her. But she was also terrified of being found out and thus having him be taken in by heaven, and so she swallowed that pain and told herself that it was for the best. (She had a small hope that one day she may be able to meet him, and though she never expected he would forgive her or consider her his mother, she bought him a little birthday gift on his birthday every year and stored it away for him just in case.)

When she meets Ava, it's impossible for her heart not to ache, she's around the same age her kid would be. It only takes a few conversations to see how badly heaven messed this kid up. As for Ava, it is instant. Katrina is the first person in her entire life to honestly show even a bit of openness to her. It's like a wildfire, heaven kept the flame burning low but the moment it had any fuel it flared.

It terrified Ava in a way because losing the slightest bit of control of her feelings threatened her future freedom. That plus... it was almost hard for to recognize what she was feeling at all, it was hard for her to even understand what was different or that this was the first person she'd met who considered how she felt when they talked.

It was a kindness she almost couldn't understand, so for a year they consistently crossed paths and spoke. It was rare they had a moment alone to speak, almost always being monitored, but when they did immediately Ava would ask questions she knew she wasn't allowed to and Katrina answered despite the risk.

Katrina is an impulsive person, and she's very aware of this, so she tried her best to not get too invested. She told herself she'd visit and try and be a positive influence on her life but she absolutely couldn't do anything that'd run afoul of heaven......... well she tried sdfgh.

One conversation about six months into knowing each other strikes a real cord. Katrina has realized how hard Ava has bought into heaven's propaganda and Ava's talking about how hard she's working to earn her wings one day.

Katrina is absolutely taken aback by this, because Ava already has wings, they're just sealed away. When Katrina say this, Ava retorts with well yeah, but the only way my magic gets unsealed is by becoming a soldier. And Katrina tells her that other magic user can break that seal, that it's not that heaven will give her wings, it's that they're keeping something that's already hers away from her.

This is a turning point for both of them, this forms a crack in Ava's perception of heaven, and this makes Katrina know she needs to get Ava out of here.

In the following six months, Ava opens up more and starts to question things, starts to struggle with her own feelings and realize she doesn't know who she is. That she doesn't know anything about herself. She feels suddenly lost as her interactions with Katrina makes her realize she hasn't been living as a person. She struggles to find her own preferences, and comes up short, the only things she's ever desired is her ability to fly.

And Katrina makes a plan with her for her escape, promising her that she'll help her fly.

I won't get into the nitty gritty details of the escape plan (mainly because i change my mind of the specifics frequently sdfghj) but around her nineteenth birthday, with the help of Katrina, Ava escapes the facility.

Katrina manages to get away with it despite being questioned because she has a close friend who can secretly harbor Ava.

Avery (another character who has a whole entire in-depth story because I have Too Many Characters and they are all interconnected.) Has a workshop for his art and tinkering on the floating islands of third layer of heaven.

So basically what happens is Katrina shows up to Avery's workshop in the middle of the night with a blanket draped over Ava and goes like "Okay listen, I can explain, you have to promise not to get mad at me." Before revealing Ava and her very obvious horns that stick out like a sore thumb in heaven.

Despite his complaints about the recklessness of the entire situation, he allows her to stay. They eventually get her a pendant to glamour her in her day to day, so she can go around without being immediately spotted.

And with that she joins a little crew of people who hang out with a common goal in heaven! I call them the heist crew bc everyone who hangs out there has a bone to pick with the government in heaven, as well as their own goals. Sometimes that culminates in them stealing objects or information from various government facilities and using it to further their own means. But also it's kinda like that thing where it's like "Oh we're a club that does this!" but ninety percent of the time they just hang out and slack off instead of doing what they're supposed to sdfghj.

I won't go over everyone since this is supposed to be about Ava and this is meant to focus on her but she becomes quite close with a number of people who frequent Avery's workshop!

Avery himself is the first person she latches onto. He has an aloof detached sort of air at first but it very quickly becomes clear how caring an attentive he is. He was once a classically trained artist turn tinkerer and many years ago he suffered an "accident" (it's a long story) that injured the left side of his body greatly, causing him to lose an arm, leg, wing, and eye. With the help of his father long after the event, he crafted himself prosthetics out of marble and gold and enchanted them to move lightly and fluidly.

He can't always wear them, and most of the time he gets around his shop in a wheelchair, but he is particularly attached to the arm he designed and created. So even when he isn't using it, it's never far from him. His current project is even more ambitious, he's attempting to design wings from scratch through a fusion of machining and magic.

Aside from a desire to create a new wing for himself, he believes that any and all denizens of heaven deserve access to flight. Humans, angels who've lost their wings, and even more controversially, demons.

Ava is intimidated by Avery at first because he's difficult to read, but one night she comes across him experiencing rather bad phantom pains and helps bring him his medication. This breaks the ice between them and once he's feeling more himself, he shows her some of the little trinkets he's working on. Clocks and music boxes and stuff like that. Ava finds herself absolutely enraptured and Avery is amused and excited by how truly interested she is.

They talk long into the night and when dawn is barely peeking over the horizon, he gifts her a little music box that he made some time ago before they part ways for the night (day?) . From here they slowly develop a sibling-like relationship and when Avery tells her about his big project attempting to make wings, she's besides herself with excitement.

See, she's free now, she could unseal her magic, but as she discovers who she is as a person, a creeping fear takes hold. She fears she won't be able to control her magic, and that she could accidentally lash out at the first people she's come to care about. So Avery, as well as Katrina, let her know it's perfectly okay for her to take as long as she needs to. Avery assures her that even if it takes her a lifetime to feel comfortable unsealing her magic, he'll be happy to make mechanical wings for her the moment he gets them working.

Speaking of Ava discovering who she is, the second person she becomes close with is Bishop. Bishop is @dapper-comedy's character and I believe they've spoken about them before! Demiphic, escaped from a cult, fought in fighting rings at the heart of the third layers main floating islands. Currently frequenting Avery's shop and struggling to figure out their relationship with their estranged mother, amateur carpenter. (Thea could probably tell you more details about Bishop overall especially since it's been a moment since we discussed these characters and some details are a little foggy on my end sdfghj)

Ava immediately gravitates towards Bishop. They are MUCH more standoffish than anyone else they've met at the workshop, but I don't think anything could stop Ava from wanting to get to know them. Bishop is the first other Demiphic she's met outside of her confinement, and on top of that their magic is unsealed.

Ava has a deep admiration for them, for the way they wield their power. Their friendship is much more of a slow burn, neither really knowing how to approach each other. But Bishop is one of the first people that helps Ava discover more about herself.

She was trained all her life to act a certain way and so her default is a very pleasant bubbly sort of attitude. As she starts to figure out how to be herself however she discovers that at heart she's really much more of a subdued person. She tends towards a quiet, more monotone set of mannerisms. Her friendship with Bishop helps her discover this.

Around people she doesn't know or when she's uncomfortable and out of her element, she adopts her pleasant exterior. Only around people she's really comfortable around does she let it drop, and Bishop is one of the first people that sees that side of her.

The final person she forms a very strong bond with is a familiar face. None other than Giselle! This takes place a VERY long time after everything that happened with the Braithen Kids (+wonky time dilation stuff with the planes), after Giselle died she was sadly the only one who went to heaven dfghj.

I don't recall exactly how Giselle fell in with the heist crew. (I think it had something to do with Bishop's mother, Rose. But I may be misremembering, Thea correct me if I'm wrong dfghj) but! Once she's there she and Ava really hit it off.

Due to often being bedridden in life Giselle is practically cartwheeling through heaven, unrestrained summer fun. Ava immediately befriends her (she meets her after she's gained a bit more confidence interacting with people) and their friendship acts as a vehicle for Ava to catch up to all the mischief she never got to get up to before.

Giselle shares an intense interest in flying as well, and they both are very invested in Avery's mechanical wings project. Frequently asking him about it and planning their own ill advised test flight experiments to help him gather data (which he Did Not ask them to do).

And that's most of the info about Ava! There's small things I could mention. Like how she develops a love of birds spurred on by a little bird necklace Katrina gets for her on a day they decide is her birthday (since she doesn't know the actual date) And how it's the first gift she receives in her entire life, but certainly not the last.

Or how Avery and Katrina take her out to buy clothes for the first time since she really doesn't have much to wear. She struggles making choices for herself, since her clothes were always given to her. Her entire life was light flowing white dresses, embroidered with constellations, and supplied to her directly. She initially picks out similar things, uncertain what else to do. But then she sees a sturdy bomber jacket, and feels a fragile yearning for it.

With Avery and Katrina's encouragement, she gets it for herself. It's the first time she makes a choice for herself based on what she herself really wants. Plus it starts her on a path to discovering she prefers more sturdy androgynous fashion.

There is one more thing, a thread me and Thea haven't quite finished... As time passes and she grows more comfortable with her current life and the people around her, she starts to have strange dreams. Dreams of a garden... and in these dreams she sees someone, and feels as though this someone is calling out to her.

The person she sees looks an awful lot like her, a little bit older... She looks almost like... a sister perhaps? *dramatic musical sting*

BUT YES, she has a demiphic sister named Odette (another character from the Epic Mind of Thea) who begins to reach out to her through her dreams. And through this connection perhaps she'll discover more about the circumstances of her birth and just Who this familiar stranger is. Tune in next time to find out more (when me and Thea actually write more of this story sdfghj)

Aside from that as a little bonus for this taking so long, I scrounged up some Ava art! I haven't drawn her in quite a while so these are kinda ancient but they serve their purpose. Writing this is making we wanna draw her again...

and then these three are a series I did drawing some of the Demiphics! In order from left to right we have Ava -> Bishop -> Odd

#i really hope i explained this well I wrote this in multiple sittings so if its a little disjointed That is why #part of why this took a while was bc i had to go back and reference old convos me and thea had to refresh myself on character details #EVEN THEN! this probably isnt everything #This is such a simple question but shes SO entrenched in the world building I truly went wild answering this #THANK U FOR YOUR PATIENCE....#Ava sits at the crossroads of so much world building and so many characters #i didnt even mention half the members of the heist crew just the ones closest to Ava in the interest of actually getting this posted #oc tag #this entire world is the most self indulgent thing in the world and i love it dearly #taking the very middle school idea of 'what if there was a half angel half demon and they had magic controlled by their FEELINGS'#and taking it very seriously #extremely fun and freeing

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