#i realized it's not fucking morning anymore after I hit send so

[heeliopheelia]

"can i kiss you?" (jake x fem! reader)

genre: smut, fluff word count: 1k requested by nonnie ♡

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

warnings: fwb, swearing, mentions of bruises

a/n: why does writer's block always magically ✨unblock✨at 3 in the morning?? but anyways, it's jake's turn finally!! i planned to make it way more fluffy and shorter but oh well ://

masterlist

Everything turns into a blur as Jake's hips snap into yours sharply, successfully knocking all the air out of your lungs. With your face buried in his cologne-scented pillow, you've long lost control over all the noises coming out of your throat. Jake's hands are gripping your hips tightly and you're well aware that you're gonna wake up with bruised fingertips printed all over your burning skin.

"Damn, baby, stop squeezing me like that."

You're too caught up in the feeling of his cock hitting so deeply inside you and finally reaching your climax to even realize he's saying something to you. To realize he's just broken the first rule of your deal by calling you a pet name of any sort. Way too intimate.

Your legs begin to shake when his hand pushes your head even further into the pillow, muffling your moans and cries with the silky fabric in an instant. "Stop being so loud," he breathes out, leaning down until his hot breath is brushing over your ear. You can't do much else than whimper in an answer as you reach behind and push on his thighs weakly – an attempt to move away from him as overstimulation starts clouding your mind.

Perhaps sleeping with your best friend's brother while she's sleeping in the room right next to his is foolish, and yet neither of you cares about it so much at the moment. The only thing on your minds is the bliss coming from being split in half by Jake's dick.

You forget about the second rule of the deal that the two of you had made after the first time you ended up having sex as you let his lips suck on your neck harshly, leaving a blossoming bruise right below your jawline. You can't stop the loud whine when his teeth nip on the freshly printed mark and soon you hear his low grunts near your ear as he comes couple minutes after you.

You have only few seconds to relish in the feeling of his body slumping down on yours before he's up on his feet and throwing the used condom to the bin next to his messy desk. You can hear him roaming around the small bathroom attached to his bedroom and you turn your head to the side when you feel the mattress dipping next to you again.

"You good?" Jake asks with a small smile on his pretty lips as you nod weakly.

He places his hands on your hips, gently this time, before flipping you over on your back so that he can get a better look at you. After knowing him for such long time, after all the compromising times he's had you nearly drooling and forgetting your own name, there's really little to zero shame you feel around him anymore.

You watch as he scans the marks he's left on your thighs and hips with a frown. A small wave of warmth rushes down your body as you realize he genuinely cares for you.

"It's okay," you try to assure him, sending him a tired smile.

His eyes snap back to your face. "I wasn't too rough?"

"Nah." You shake your head, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. "It doesn't hurt. Don't worry."

He gives up with a sigh and only then brings up the damp towel that he took from his bathroom couple minutes ago. He runs the warm fabric over your thighs and in between them, cleaning you up as gently as he could. You feel your eyelids getting heavier with every stroke of his, shivering slightly whenever his fingers accidentally make contact with your skin instead of the towel.

You only open your eyes back again when you feel him tugging the soft covers on your body. You groan and lazily push yourself up on your elbows. "Fuck, Jake, I need to go back," you mumble, leaning down to pick your hoodie up from the floor.

You turn around when his hand stops your movements. "Stay," he pleads and you're too far gone to notice he's just broken the third rule. "I'll wake you up in the morning so that you can go back. She won't notice anything, I promise."

You don't even try to put up any fights, only lay back down next to him without any further objection. You're about to snuggle up to his chest when his words interrupt the silence again.

"Can I kiss you?"

Now, you suddenly feel more awake than ever as he undermines the fourth rule of your deal. Your eyes snap open, the entire tiredness leaving your body all at once. You gape at the man hovering above you as breath gets stuck in your throat. There's no way he feels the same, you think to yourself, mind running back to the entire past year of one-sided pining over your friend with benefits.

"Are you serious?" When he nods his head, you let a stupidly giddy smile crawl upon your lips. Noticing how he swallows nervously, eyes struggling from dropping down to your lips, you can't help but tease, "Damn, Jake, you must like me or something?"

"You don't even know how much," he mumbles, tracing his finger along your smiling cheek. "So, what you say?"

Instead of giving him a proper answer, you grab the back of his neck and pull him down, crashing your lips together. A low moan escapes his throat, heart almost leaping out of his chest from happiness and finally making dream of your soft lips on his come to life. The kiss is wet and sloppy but you couldn't care less really. Jake's teeth tug on your bottom lip as he makes himself at home right between your thighs.

You pull away from him before the two of you get carried away and you're unable to think straight until the very morning again. "What does it make us, though?" You ask, fingers sliding down to his jawline.

"Whatever you want it to be, baby," he mutters, impatiently pressing his lips to yours again. "Just wanna be inside you again already. My pretty girl."

And as the both of you are engrossed in giddy giggles, kisses and lust all over again, neither of you is even half prepared for the scolding you're about to get in the morning from your best friend. With pillow forcefully tugged over her ears, she rolls her eyes, deciding that this time she's not gonna let it slide, not like all the other nights during the past four months that she's heard you jumping all over each other like some damn bunnies in the heat.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk

#carly's 1k event ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა #1k event: requests ✎ #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #jake sim x reader #jake smut #jake sim smut

[sidekick-hero]

Carry you

(steddie | rated t | wc: 4k | cw: drug addiction, hurt Eddie Munson, post break-up, hopeful ending | @steddielovemonth | prompt by @starryeyedjanai "Love is letting someone take care of you" | AO3)

When Eddie opens his eyes, he has no idea where he is.

That should probably scare him, but the only thing he can think in that moment between blissful nothingness and cold, hard reality is "the bathroom at the party looked different." Because he is in a bathroom, that much he can say. There are white tiles everywhere and a roll of toilet paper in front of him and... is that a plastic handrail?

Lifting his head is a Herculean effort, but somehow he manages to do it, even though it makes his stomach turn.

In front of him is a freestanding shower and a bathtub with stairs to get into. The bathroom is huge and sterile, smelling of disinfectant.

As more and more of his senses come back online, Eddie notices several things at once:

#1 He's wearing what can barely be called a gown, cold air hitting his exposed skin everywhere. His back, his legs, hell, even his junk gets more of a breeze than he likes.

#2 He's nauseous, his stomach rolls uncomfortably, and his head is killing him, a sharp pain that's increasing in intensity by the second.

#3 He knows that something is definitely very, very wrong and he can feel the anxiety rising like bile in his throat.

It's that last realization that triggers his fight or flight response and in seconds he's off the toilet he's sitting on, the sudden movement sending him stumbling, his legs wobbling and his head spinning. Everything hurts and he feels so weak. He catches himself on the railing next to the toilet and figures that's what it's there for. Although he has no idea what kind of person would have such a strange bathroom. The last one he was in, at Tim's or Tom's or Terry's party, something with a T, for sure, the tiles had been black and there had been a lot of bamboo furniture and gold accents. It had smelled nice too, vanilla and cinnamon.

He staggers to a door that hopefully leads out of this fucking nightmare. Maybe Gareth or Freak are behind this, to teach Eddie a lesson for ditching them again to go partying when they had to pack up their shit after the show. But not Jeff, he's too nice to do something like that. The next morning, when Eddie arrives with a hangover the size of his ego, to quote Gareth, Jeff will only look at him with disappointment.

Or maybe they just don't care enough about him anymore to pull a prank on him. Eddie can't remember the last time they even talked to him, beyond discussing the bare minimum for their shows.

Leaving the bathroom, he carefully walks down a long hallway with the ugliest yellow linoleum Eddie has ever seen. It hurts his eyes and his stomach gives another unpleasant churning. On his right, he sees a glass door with "Intermediate Care Unit" written in big white letters.

What the fuck?

He turns right and continues down the hall, hoping to find someone who can tell him where he is and why his body feels like it's been hit with a sledgehammer. Repeatedly.

"Mr. Munson, you shouldn't be out of bed," a stern voice calls from behind him, and when he turns around he sees a middle-aged woman in white scrubs looking at him with a stern expression on her face.

Feeling more and more like he has landed in an episode of The Twilight Zone, Eddie looks at her with an incredulous look on his face. "Who are you? And where is everyone?"

She scoffs at his answer, clearly not pleased.

"I am the nurse responsible for getting you well enough to leave this ward as soon as possible, and you would make my job a lot easier if you would go back to your bed." Before he can process the meaning of her words, she continues. "As for everyone else, well, no one else overdosed, so I would assume they're all home by now."

Eddie can only stare at her open-mouthed, disbelief and horror probably written all over his face, because her own face is softening slightly.

"Now come on, let's get you back to bed, you really shouldn't be wandering around."

She gently takes his elbow and leads him to a door with the number 719 on it. As she opens it for him, Eddie sees three beds inside. To the left and right, he sees two old men, both looking directly at him. The one on the right says, "We tried to stop him, Nurse Elli, we really did," in a high, nasal voice that is already getting on Eddie's nerves. "The kid wouldn't listen to us, would he, Harry?"

"Exactly," Harry answered, at least in a deeper, more bearable tone.

Ignoring the geriatric Ernie and Bert, Nurse Elli leads him to the bed in the middle and helps him to lie down again. Only then does Eddie remember that all he's wearing is a thin hospital gown with an open back. Well, he thinks, Nurse Elli has seen worse in her profession than his pale, scrawny ass. Besides, it's not like much of his modesty has survived the last two years of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll that have been his life.

By the time he's back under the covers, his nurse has turned around and is walking back over to the door. A bone-deep exhaustion has begun to seep into his body, slowly dragging him back under, but seeing her walk out of the room gives him a burst of energy.

"Wait! Someone needs to tell me what happened. What am I doing here?"

Embarrassment burns hot under his skin as he hears the tears in his voice, but the sound of it breaking at his question makes Nurse Elli stop. She turns back to him and her eyes are much kinder than before.

"The doctor will be with you shortly. He'll explain everything to you, Mr. Munson. I'll let him know you're awake now."

And then she leaves, and Eddie sinks back into his bed in the hope that the next time he opens his eyes, it will all have been just a bad dream.

It was not all just a bad dream.

The next time Eddie comes to, he's alone in his room, except for a middle-aged man who seems to be the doctor Nurse Elli told him would be stopping by.

Doctor Owens explains that he overdosed on alcohol and coke at a party at some music producer's house and had been in a coma for two full days. They quickly stabilized him, pumped his stomach and gave him fluids through an IV. Eddie is lucky he's still young and his system recovered from the shock quite well. When he showed signs of waking up, they brought him down here from the ICU to free up his bed for someone who needed it more.

"If Mr. Harrington hadn't called 911 and told them to come get you, you'd be dead right now, Mr. Munson. I'm sorry to say this, but from what I've heard, no one at the party even cared, just insisted that you brought your own drugs and they had nothing to do with it. Mr. Harrington has also been your only visitor so far."

His words should make him angry or sad, something, but he can't process them. Not when his brain is still struggling to make sense of the first part of his statement, Eddie’s heart racing in his chest.

"Mr. Harrington? As in..."

"Steve Harrington, he says he's a close friend. He's the one who called the ambulance, gave the operator your cell phone number so they could track your phone and get you to the hospital. He's been visiting you every day since. He also called your uncle, because we are not allowed to give out any medical information to anyone outside of the family. Your uncle should be here soon, I called him yesterday to give him an update on your condition."

His mind is reeling, too many thoughts fighting for dominance and one word screaming louder than any of them in his head.

Steve, Steve, Steve.

How... it couldn't be. Not after their last fight. Not after the things he said to Steve. To his horror, he feels tears burning hot in his eyes at the memory. A memory he had pushed as far back in his mind as he could because every time he thought about that night he wanted to curl up into a fetal position and cry.

"You are a lucky man, Mr. Munson. This man seems to care a lot about you, as does your uncle. You should let them help you. And if you will allow me to be very clear with you: You need all the help you can get. You're young, so your body can take a lot. But it's not in good shape. You have an old man's liver, and your spleen and kidneys are showing signs of the abuse you put them through. The echo also showed some irregularities in your heartbeat. If you continue down the path you're on, your organs will fail and you will die, Mr. Munson. Painfully. So my advice to you is to get clean as soon as possible. We have some facilities we work with, a nurse will bring you some brochures."

Eddie could only nod numbly, tears now falling freely from his eyes, his throat tight and his head aching. Everything hurt. Especially his heart.

"Okay, we'll keep you here for two more days until we're sure you're stable enough to be on your own." Doctor Owens tells him, turning to leave and get on with his day, as if he hadn't just dropped a damn bomb on his head. He pauses at the door and turns back to him.

"And a word of advice from someone twice your age who's seen a lot in his time here: stick with people who really care about you, like Mr. Harrington, instead of spending your time with people who leave you lying in a bathroom in your own vomit."

With that, he steps out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him and leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts.

Eddie doesn't know how long it's been since Dr. Owens left. It could have been hours, days, weeks, for all he knows, too deep inside his own head to spare any thought for the passing of time. Lying in a hospital bed, the nausea and pain raging through his battered body, Eddie finally breaks down and lets the thoughts come.

He's lost in his memories, thinking about everything that led him here, alone and in pain in a hospital bed, after nearly killing himself with things he swore he'd never use. Weed was fine, though he didn't indulge much anyway, preferring to sell it and make some much-needed money than to smoke it himself. But coke? Nah, he knew how epically stupid it would be to even try that shit.

And yet he did.

A party to celebrate the release of their first single. One lapse in judgment while flying so fucking high that nothing could touch him. One bad decision was all it took for him to succumb to the effects of the white powder.

The high he felt after snorting his first line had been magical and he's been chasing that feeling ever since, blind to all he's sacrificed in the process.

It changed him, he knows. Every euphoric high that made him talk a mile a minute, overly affectionate, loud and brash and in love with the whole world would inevitably end in a crash. He became irritable and hostile toward the people he loved, thinking they were out to get him. Whenever his friends or Wayne or Steve so much as looked at him the wrong way about his new habit, he would lash out at them.

He became increasingly angry and accused them of trying to control him, of envying him his success and happiness.

That's when he started drinking, too. He drank himself stupid so that he wouldn't have to think about the way Steve was starting to look at him as if he didn't even know him anymore. To forget the sad look in Wayne's eyes or the way his friends had started to avoid him. When he was drunk out of his mind, he could forget the way the Coffin boys had started talking about him behind his back, could ignore the murderous looks Robin kept sending his way.

Thinking back, Eddie felt like everything had spun out of his control so fast.

It's like one day he comes home to Steve, ecstatic about signing their first record deal and celebrating the start of a new chapter with the love of his life by dancing around their living room barefoot, laughing and kissing each other, promising happiness and forever.

Only to throw that love right back in Steve's face the next day by calling him needy, clingy, and full of bullshit.

He claimed that Steve was holding him back and that Steve didn't love him, that he just didn't want to be alone. He also said that Steve still thought he was better than Eddie, better than the town freak, the fuck-up, the trailer trash.

You don't want me to succeed and finally step out of your perfect shadow, because then what would stop me from leaving you, right?

Eddie regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. Secretly, he had always feared that his success would cause a rift in his relationship with Steve. Eddie had no desire to leave Steve, because Steve was still the best goddamn thing that ever happened to him, but he couldn't help but feel that he was losing him anyway. Even more so when he had seen Steve's face crumble, when he had seen the exact moment when his heart had broken into a million pieces.

He had wanted to take Steve in his arms and apologize for saying cruel things he didn't even believe. It had been his own insecurities that had caused him to lash out, and he had hurt Steve before he had a chance to be hurt himself.

Instead, in true Munson fashion, he had run away and hasn't seen or heard from Steve in six long months that have felt like years.

Steve looks almost exactly the same as he did the last time Eddie saw him.

That's not a good thing, though. Because Steve had been driving himself crazy with worry about Eddie for months before Eddie had taken Steve's heart and torn it apart right in front of him.

Back then he had the same dark circles under his eyes that he has now. The usually golden skin is still too pale and Steve's trademark hair looks even more disheveled from how often he's run his hands through it. His well-fitting jeans, which once hugged his ass just right, now sit baggy on his too-slim frame and Eddie hates it.

He hates that Eddie could still hurt Steve even after he left. That even from a distance he managed to ruin the only person who ever really loved him besides Wayne. There should be some kind of warning sign on him: Beware, do not get attached, will hurt you.

"You're awake," are the first words out of Steve's mouth, and despite everything, Eddie can't stop his heart from responding to the sound of his sweet voice. Steve sounds tired, weary, but to Eddie's ears his voice is better than any Metallica song could ever be.

He tries to smile at him, but he feels as tired as Steve sounds, so it lacks the usual spark.

"Sure am. From what I heard, I have you to thank for that," Eddie adds, unable to help himself. He still doesn't know why and especially how Steve knew he needed help. If this were a Nicholas Sparks novel, their love would have created an invisible bond that made Steve feel when Eddie needed help.

But this is real life, and no matter how much he loves Steve, there is no invisible bond holding them together. Just an unbridgeable chasm.

Steve is still hovering at the door and Eddie thinks he is fighting the urge to wring his hands. Eddie knows his tells by now and he figures Steve isn't sure he's welcome here. Which is ridiculous, because even at his worst, Eddie will always want Steve around, no matter what crap Eddie tells him.

It takes a lot of effort, but Eddie manages to sit up and lean out of bed to pat the chair next to his bed, his eyes never leaving Steve.

Eddie sees Steve's shoulders slump, some of the tension visibly draining from his body at the gesture, and Steve walks over to him and sits down tentatively.

"So..." Eddie begins, dragging out the 'o'. "What happened?"

Steve looks up from his hands in his lap, obviously surprised by the question. "You don't remember?"

"No. The last thing I remember is sitting on a leather couch with a bunch of people I don't know and don't care about, fooling myself into thinking I was having fun." Eddie has had plenty of time to think about his life and where he went wrong, so he decides to stick with honesty. Steve deserves as much and more. "Someone handed me a bottle of whiskey and I opened it and started drinking straight from the bottle. That's the last thing I remember. The next thing I know, I wake up in an ugly bathroom that smells like disinfectant, my whole body hurts like I've been hit by a train, and I have no idea where I am."

Before he can bring himself to say the next part, it's Eddie who has to look away, his eyes focused on his hands playing with the edge of the blanket.

"They told me it was you who called 911 and helped them find me. They said without you I would have died lying in my own vomit." He swallows audibly, tears burning in his eyes, wondering how he could have cried more in the last ten hours than in the last ten years. "They also said you were the only one who came to see me."

Eddie forces himself to look up and into Steve's eyes as he says, "Thank you, Steve. You didn't... I don't deserve you doing this. Not after..." The words die in his throat and he feels like he's choking on them.

He can't do this. He's a fucking coward, not worth saving. Not even worth looking at someone as good and beautiful as Steve.

There's a crease between Steve's eyebrows that Eddie used to smooth with his thumb and lips every time he saw it, and his fingers itch to do it again.

"You called me," Steve tells him, his own hands playing with the edge of Eddie's blanket. "At the party. You called me from the bathroom. I thought it was a butt call or maybe drunk dialing, I hadn't heard from you in months, Eddie."

Eddie winces at his words, but Steve chooses to ignore it.

"But then you sounded so small on the phone. You called me 'Stevie' and 'sweetheart' and then you started to cry." Steve looks like he's about to cry, too. His eyes are glassy and Eddie gets lost in the way the light breaks in them, gold and brown and green all mixed together.

"You told me you weren't feeling so good, that your stomach hurt and the room was spinning so you had to lie down. Your voice -" And here Steve's own voice breaks, after it had already started to shake badly, and without thinking Eddie grabs Steve's hand and holds it tight.

"I'm here, Stevie. You saved me. I'm okay."

"But you almost weren't!" Steve insists, his voice rising, and Eddie finally understands the depth of Steve's feelings. After all these months, after everything Eddie had said and done, Steve still cared deeply for him.

"You talked like you were dying, Eddie. You weren't drunk dialing, you were calling to say goodbye, asshole. You were telling me all these things that I needed to hear you say for months. But I wanted to hear them with you in the room so I could punch you in the face and then kiss it better. Not like this. Not as your last words over a fucking phone call."

That's when Steve breaks down, the tears finally overflowing and he buries his face on the bed at Eddie's hip, their joined hands pressed against his wet cheek.

"Baby," Eddie whispers, shocked, his own heart aching worse than ever as he begins to run his fingers through Steve's messy hair. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm so, so sorry, Stevie. I never meant to hurt you, but it seems like that's all I did."

Taking a deep breath, Eddie continues. "I don't know what I told you on the phone, but since I woke up I've had time to think about it all. I don't know if I can ever make it up to you. Or to Wayne and the kids, Gareth and Jeff and Grant. If I will ever deserve your forgiveness, but I want to try. I want to deserve it one day. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but... I will go to rehab. I will quit drugs and alcohol, I will clean up my act. And then, if you let me, I will try to make it up to you every single day for the rest of our lives."

Steve slowly lifts his head from the bed and looks at him, searching Eddie's eyes for something.

"Why?" Steve asks, his hand gripping Eddie's even tighter.

There are so many reasons, so many things Eddie wants to say, but in the end there is only one simple answer.

"Because I love you."

The smile on Steve's face tells him it's the right answer, even more so when Steve presses a kiss into his palm. But then he turns serious once more.

"I haven't forgiven you yet, Eddie. You hurt me too much and I need time. But I need you to stop trying to run away from me. I don't want you to go to rehab and clean yourself up before you come back to me. I want to be with you every step of the way. Do it together. Because if you love me, you have to let me take care of you. You have to let me in, Eddie. Let me carry you for once, like Sam carried Frodo when he couldn't go on. Trust me not to let you fall. Please."

"Did you really just make a reference to Lord of the Rings?" Eddie demands and Steve rolls his eyes.

"Is that what you get from everything I just said?"

Eddie sobers up immediately. "No, it just made me fall a little bit more in love with you, and I didn't think that was possible."

"So what do you say?" Steve asks, chewing his lip between his teeth, and Eddie suspects he's not even breathing.

"It's going to suck, Stevie," Eddie says in a quiet voice, stroking Steve's knuckles with his thumb."Are you sure?"

"Yes." No hesitation, no wavering in his voice. It's the same tone, the same determined look on his face as when he told Eddie "Fuck'em," when Eddie told him people in their small-minded town would talk if Steve held his hand in public.

"There's a bunch of brochures of places to check out. Wanna help me pick the least horrible one?" Eddie says, pointing to the table in the corner of the room.

Without another word, Steve gets up to grab them, and for the first time in a long time, Eddie allows himself to hope.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie fic #rockstar eddie munson #cw drugs #steddielovemonth #day 1 #love is letting someone take care of you #my writing

[01zfan]

malpractice | s. es

med student!eunseok x reader | 5.6k words

everyone stay healthy our future doctors are roleplaying as physicians to fuck their roommates…this was my first roleplaying fic so anon i hope it’s to your liking!

contains: roleplaying, NO dubcon, no protection is used

eunseok and you both agreed it was a one time thing. a quick hookup, fueled by lack of human interaction and alcohol. 

the night had started normal. you shared a small break from long shadow shifts at the hospital with some of your favorite classmates. your friend group of future professionals did what anyone in your age group would do. the club was packed and the mood was high. drinks were passed around and rounds of shots were bought en masse. it was a mistake you didn’t know you were making, getting so wasted in the presence of eunseok. 

when the shots started to sting a little less the two of you started getting touchy. his hand was on the small of your back and your arm gripped his bicep. by the time the shots tasted like water you and eunseok were dry humping in a dark corner of the club. 

the music made your ribcage shake and the darkness of the club made you heady. your view of eunseok came in snatches, only visible when the lights of the club would shine on him periodically. his eyes were hooded and his movements were clumsy like yours, driven by lust but slowed by the alcohol. bodies on the dance floor bumped into the two of you, causing kisses meant for lips to land on cheeks and making you stumble into his arms. eunseok switched with you, caging you between him and a n exposed brick wall that felt rough against your back. when he looked down at you, a brief moment of sobriety hit you both. the moment of clarity was gone the second eunseok started rubbing his thumb on your bottom lip.

“let’s go back to the apartment.” eunseok said.

you nodded and followed behind him, sending a text to your friend that you and eunseok were calling it a night.

as soon as the door of your shared apartment was closed you were on top of eachother. no more moments of clarity, not even a second to think about how you two would change the dynamic of your relationship forever. instead you fucked your roommate that you told yourself you’d never fuck on couch in your communal space. you rode him until your thighs burned, then you let him return the favor by making him do all the work. you were drooling into the armrest of the couch by the time he was finished with you, only knowing his name and the feeling of his hands pressed against your body. 

you didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until you woke up the next morning. eunseok slept on the floor next to the couch with a pillow from his bed tucked underneath his head. in any other situation you would’ve teased him for sleeping on the ground, but then you remembered why. events of the night hit you the same time the hangover migraine hit, nearly knocking the breath out of you. you snuck from the couch and around eunseok’s body to close yourself in your bedroom.

since then, you had avoided eunseok completely. you didn’t sit on the couch anymore to watch television. you stay in your room now, finding ways to entertain yourself when eunseok is home. the only time you left your bed was when you heard eunseok leave the apartment or go into his room. avoiding eachother had become an unspoken acknowledgment, both of you falling into a schedule that left the communal spaces empty in shifts. your usual conversations devolved into short pleasantries. tension was like a thick fog in your apartment. both of you stayed away from the other to try and grant space. 

you knew sex with eunseok was a one time thing. so why was it that you couldn’t escape him? the memories of your night haunted you dreamscape, infiltrating the one place you had reprieve from the stress of being in eunseok’s proximity. 

the dreams started the night after. your subconscious filled in gaps your drunk mind had forgotten or glossed over. you felt eunseok’s hot breath on your neck in your sleep and his hand ghost over your neck. when you felt the experimental squeeze on your windpipe you woke up with a breathless gasp. you were drenched in sweat, looking around your room as if eunseok was in there with you.

everything only got worse after the first dream. they would start innocent, like studying with eunseok or the normal dream of you in class. the beginning would always lure you in, giving you a false sense of security. but no matter how normal or mundane the dream was it would always have eunseok in it and it would always end the same way. sometimes it would be eunseok taking you from behind on your shared couch, smacking your ass until you swore you could feel the pain in real life. sometimes it would be you on your knees, looking up to eunseok’s bobbing adam’s apple as his hand in your hair tightened. no matter what, you would always jolt yourself awake when your conscious mind realized what was happening. 

tonight was different. everything had come to a boiling point, you were dressed in your scrubs walking down the quiet ward to greet your patient. when you opened the door to the hospital room it was eunseok was on the hospital bed, whimpering about pain. you were trying to be the best nurse you knew you could be, asking him where it hurt and what his symptoms were. it was no use, the way eunseok pulled at your scrubs made that clear. you had known by now that your dreams never ended with something as simple as a diagnosis. this dream instead ended with you riding eunseok on his hospital bed while he groped every part of your body.

you no longer shot up from the bed gasping for air. when the nonsensical ridiculous dreams kept coming, you were forced to deal with it quietly. now you let your eyes open quickly to stare at whatever was in front of you as you came to. your throat was always dry now, and you had to blink to bring moisture back to your eyes. 

you blinked repeatedly trying to adjust to the darkness in your room. everything felt uncomfortable. your body was drenched in sweat, down the line of your back and underneath the covers stuffed between your legs. your clothes stuck to your sweaty body, and you could feel your underwear press to your folds each time you moved.

your clock told you it was time to go to bed, in any other case you would’ve turned around in bed and dealt with it in the morning. but the water bottle next to your bed was empty, and you needed to go to the bathroom. you considered your option, smacking your lips to try and wet your throat. when your throat still felt dry and scratchy you stretched carefully before getting up from your bed.

you nearly stumbled out of your bedroom rubbing your eyes. you didn’t want to wake yourself up too much, knowing you might struggle trying to fall asleep later. you are still out of it, making a wobbly line for the fridge. your mind was so busy thinking about your dreams that you didn’t notice eunseok sitting at the table. he took notes diligently, pausing his movements to watch you over his circular frames. you visibly tensed when you finally noticed his presence. eunseok froze the same way for a moment before going back to writing in his journal. 

you freeze in place and eunseok does the same. he waits for you to say something first, evident in the way he clears his throat.

“you’re up late.” you say.

your attempt to sound casual fails. your tone is awkward, stating the obvious as you shift on your feet. eunseok laughs quietly as he highlights something in his medical book.

“case study,” eunseok doesn’t look up from his notes. “taking longer than i thought.” he says.

he looks at his watch again before looking back at you. if you look at eunseok for too long, you start to remember details you tried to forget. it takes everything in you to turn away silently while making a beeline to your bedroom.

“what are you doing awake?” eunseok asked.

the question was rushed, falling from his lips before you could shut him out again. when you turn around you see eunseok no longer looks at his books. his highlighter and pen rest in the binding of his journal as he looks at you.

“bad dream.” you said sheepishly. 

you could see eunseok’s head tilt as he thought about something. he tapped on his book nervously, looking at you over the rim of his glasses. you stood there in between the space of your room and the kitchen foolishly, waiting for eunseok to say what was on his mind. he cleared his throat, looking to you directly.

“the walls are thin, ya know.” he said. “especially when i’m in here doing work late at night.”

that was all you needed to hear before quickly turning on your heel to walk into your room. the heat made your face feel like it was on fire when you reached for the doorknob of your bedroom.

“wait.” eunseok said behind you. 

when you looked at him you saw that he had gotten up from the table quickly. he looked to the seat on the other side of the table, the one you haven’t sat at in so long. 

“can we just talk? please?” eunseok said.

when you sat down, you found out that eunseok had heard everything. he tried taking a neutral approach, trying to save you from some of the shame. but it was unavoidable as eunseok told you he’s been hearing everything. you were nearly crying when eunseok reached an awkward hand out to pat on your shoulder. eunseok told you sincerely you didn’t have to be embarrassed, but shame still made your head hang low. eunseok didn’t stop rubbing your shoulder, but you didn’t spare a glance towards him. it wasn’t until he stopped rubbing your shoulder and cleared his throat, opening his mouth over and over again as he tried to gather what to say.

“i want to help you.” he says.

you lift your head to look at eunseok with narrowed eyes. shock has left you and was replaced with anger fueled by embarrassment. the fact that eunseok seemed to only want to throw salt on the wound made the hair rise on your neck.

“not funny eunseok.” you say.

your arms are crossed protectively as you get ready to stand up from the table. eunseok reaches towards you, a hand asking you to stop.

“i’m serious.” eunseok lets his hand rest on the table as he gathers his thoughts. “i was thinking. maybe if we did it under the guise of something else it could ease the tension.” he says.

when you realize what eunseok is hinting at you can’t stop your eyebrows from furrowing. your shocked expression mirrors eunseok, like he is also surprised he came up with such a thing.

“you mean like roleplaying?” when eunseok nods you keep talking. “like we fuck but you’re my doctor?”

“if you don’t like it. we can stop and pretend it never happened.” eunseok assures you.

you consider all your options. you think about yelling at eunseok for assuming you’d be so easy to say yes to something so ridiculous. but you also think about the dreams you’ve had, how you hhaven’t stopped thinking about eunseok since that night. if this backfired, you’ll move out and never be seen by eunseok again. you still feel a pit in your stomach at the possibility of it being awkward. you look at your roommate in his seat at the table, twiddling his thumbs as he waits for you. you’re no better, picking at your hands underneath the table.

“i feel like after…” you clear your throat and force yourself to maintain eye contact with eunseok even though your face feels like it’s on fire. “after we should have a very long conversation about what happened that night after the club.” you say matter-of-factly.

eunseok’s eyes light up and he nods his head vigorously as you stand up from the table.

“i agree completely.” he says.

eunseok still sits at the table looking up at you when you rock back and forth on your heels. every attempt you make trying to seem confident in this situation seems to fall flat. you wish you could’ve slipped into the act, a non-assuming patient that sweetly asks where to go for the examination. instead you clear your throat awkwardly and look around the space of the common area.

“my room or yours?” you ask shyly.

eunseok stands up from the table quickly, pushing in his chair slowly before walking over to you. you can see he has trouble too by the way he gestures to his room. you two are silent, you only nod before heading to eunseok’s room. you can hear him push in your chair and clothes his books, turning off the light in the common area and following behind you. before you made it through the threshold of his door, eunseok grabs your hand and holds it gently. he turns on the lamp that sits on his desk, and clears off his neatly folded pajamas that sat on his made bed with one hand. 

you stood next to eunseok’s bed and he stood beside you, your hand still in his. it was daunting, being in eunseok’s room knowing what you came in here to do. all the other times you had been in his room was to quickly look for something or peer in to ask if he wanted to order takeout. but now you were in eunseok’s room looking down at his sheets, anxiously waiting for what was going to come next.

eunseok turns to you, smile on his face as he speaks.

“should i put on my lab coat?”

with a serious voice but a smile on his face eunseok helps ease some of the tension. you laugh and shake your head, playfully hitting eunseok in his shoulder. 

eunseok squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go. you felt him come behind you, placing both of his hands gently on your elbows.

“you can lay down.” eunseok said gently.

you silently nodded your head, realizing it had started. you could feel the atmosphere change as eunseok guided you slowly to crawl on his bed. one of his hands moved to the back of your head to help you lay on the pillows gently. he was handling you slowly and carefully like glass, the complete opposite of how he held you the first time. 

eunseok stayed by your side, holding your hand as he looked down at you. you found yourself avoiding his gaze at all costs, suddenly becoming hyperaware of everything about yourself. how you were laying, how you looked from eunseok’s perspective, how tight you were holding onto his hand. you tugged on his hand to bring him down to you in an effort to level the playing field. 

when he was crouched beside the bed next to you, eunseok took in all of your features. his hand that was holding yours let go to run a slow finger on your jawline, resting on your forehead like he was checking your temperature. you held gently to his tricep, needing something to hold for comfort.

“are you comfortable?” eunseok asked.

you shake your head still anxiously picking at the sheets underneath your fingertips.

“i think. i think you need to take a closer look.” you whisper.

eunseok smiles, his hand that was on your forehead reaching down to pinch your cheek.

eunseok crawls onto the bed, slotting himself between your partially spread legs. he rests on his haunches, rubbing soothing hands up and down your calves. you focus on the tiny sound your nails make against the fabric of eunseok’s bedsheets. you can feel his eyes on you and you’re too anxious to focus your eyes in the dimly lit room to look back at him.

eunseok recognizes too much about you, the way you nervously pick at everything around you and the way you bite your lip when you’re stressed. he wants to help you, he wants to get rid of the tension that weighs down on your shoulders each time he passes by you. so eunseok does what any good doctor would do and begins his examination.

“when did the dreams start?” eunseok asks.

he’s serious, his hands reach down to your ankles to push them up the bed, forcing you to bend your legs at the knee. you try to think hard, focusing everything to get into the character of his patient. put you’re shy, too shy to look at anything but your bent knee. eunseok’s hand that comes to rest on top of your knee forces you to open your mouth.

“since that night we—i went to the club.” you stammered. 

“i see.” eunseok hums sympathetically, hand working down your knee towards your thigh, stopping where the bottom of your night shorts begin. “and what happened when you went to the club?” eunseok asks.

you clear your throat, heels digging into the mattress.

”i wont judge you.” eunseok places a chaste kiss on your knee. “what happened when you went to the club?” he asks again.

eunseok starts messing with the bottom of your shorts, going underneath the fabric to rub on your skin. his hands are soft, wedging. between your ass and the bed until you are in the palm of his hand. you squeeze your eyes shut and open them to look at the ceiling. your hand that isn’t picking at the sheets in underneath your night shirt, hand over your stomach to self-soothe.

“i had sex.” you say quietly.

eunseok hums in acknowledgment before reaching his other hand into your shorts. this hand rubs on the top of your thigh, reaching all the way up until he hits your waistband. eunseok is so close to touching you where you have been needing him the most. anticipation makes you dizzy to the point that you barely hear him.

“so the dreams started that night?” eunseok asks.

you nod your head, the words are caught in your throat when you feel eunseok bend his hand to cup your heat.

“they started that night.” you bring your hips closer to eunseok’s hand when he presses his hand against your heat. “they happen every night now.” you say.

“i see.” eunseok looks up from between your legs to try and see your face. all he can see is your head pressed into the pillows as you pinch his bedsheets between your two fingers. eunseok presses his hand against you a little more until your back arches slightly off the bed. “and what do you dream about?” he asks.

eunseok hears you hesitate for a second. you let your knees come together, almost locking eunseok’s hands in place while simultaneously keeping him away. he doesn’t want to pry, he doesn’t want to pry your legs apart to give himself better access. he waits for you to get comfortable again until you part your legs again. he’s even gentler than before, taking his hand away from your heat to hold your hand that rests on your stomach. you squeeze his hand and eunseok can hear you let out a breath. you put your hand on top of eunseok’s to slowly drag both of your hands underneath your waistband. his hand underneath your ass lifts your bottom half up slightly so he can grab at your thighs.

“my roommate.” your voice is airy, barely above a whisper as you answer eunseok’s question.

“what about your roommate?” eunseok asks.

he kneads your thighs and your sides, trying to coax anything he can out of you. eunseok wants to hear about your dreams, to see if they’re the same as his. he kisses your knee, working his way down your leg just to go right back up. from resting on his haunches eunseok can see your face clearly. he can tell his ministrations on you are relaxing, your legs wobble but they don’t close in on eachother. when eunseok grips a untouched part of your body he can see your chest raise abruptly. 

“i dream about having sex again.” when eunseok grabs the flesh at the apex of your thighs you grab a fistful of his sheets. “with him.” eunseok hums and grabs the same place. “all the time.” you ramble.

eunseok pulls both of his hands from your shorts and rubs your legs. he does it slow, trying to get you to stop looking at the ceiling to look at him. you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at eunseok between your legs. his hands go to your waistband, hands curling underneath the elastic as he looks to you for approval.

“i’m going to take these off.” you lift your hips and eunseok begins pulling them down. “for the next part of the examination.” he says

you nod, lifting your feet off the bed when your shorts are pulled to your ankles. eunseok tosses your shorts over the bed somewhere in his room. it’s not important when you’re laid bare for eunseok. 

he’s slow at first, hands on the underside of your leg rubbing all the way down to your heat until he works his way back up to your knee again. it’s cruel, torturous almost as you squirm on his bed. you can feel all of eunseok’s fingers as he rubs your hot skin, and you can feel goosebumps prickle along your skin as anticipation builds over you.

the next time eunseok works both of his hands to your heat one of his hands splays across your stomach to hold you down softly. his other hand finds its way to your core, rubbing his fingers up and down your folds. it’s only more teasing, forcing yourself to listen to the wet sound of you on his fingertips. eunseok sweetly kisses your knee again, looking into your eyes as he does it. you bit your lip, and you fail again at maintaining eye contact when eunseok puts his finger inside of you.

you arch slightly into his hand, any attempt to go higher is stopped by eunseok’s hand on your stomach.

“try not to move during the examination.” eunseok says it playfully while he watches you squirm. 

you stop trying to swivel your hips into eunseok’s finger to follow his orders.

“okay.” you pout.

eunseok almost takes pity on you seeing how badly you want to move. he gives you another finger as consolation, and lets you scoot your ass lower on the bed to fuck yourself on his fingers. his hand on your stomach had to go to your knee to try and keep your legs apart.

“do you dream about this?” eunseok asks.

he bends his fingers as if he’s beckoning to you. your hand goes to your knee to put it over eunseok’s hand.

“yes.” you say breathlessly, nodding against the pillows.

you can see eunseok’s smirk even in his dimly lit room, and how his shirt starts jumping as he speeds his fingers up. you try to close your legs around his fingers, but his hand on your knee stops you.

“just like this?” eunseok asks.

“just like that.” you whine.

you can hear eunseok’s light laugh as he watches you get high off of him. it’s not long before you are digging your heels into the mattress and your body starts feeling hot all over. eunseok notices, he sees the way you reach behind you to press against the headboard. eunseok keeps giving it to you, moving to sit on the bed between your legs. his hand on your knee goes to your clit and starts doing revolutions.

“eunseok.” you whimper. 

eunseok looks up from your cunt to focus on your face. your eyes are wet and your legs twitch. eunseok almost bends down to kiss you, but he remembers who he’s supposed to be for you right now. so he remains stoic, lifting an eyebrow as he continues to pump his fingers into you.

“hmm?”

“i’m close.”

as soon as you utter the words, eunseok withdraws his fingers. your back is still arched off the bed and your body quickly comes down from the high that was building up. you prop yourself up on your elbows again, to see eunseok with his fingers in his mouth. he brings his hand that was rubbing revolutions on your clit to your lips, his wet hand beside your stomach as he holds himself up. you hesitate for a second before opening your mouth, letting eunseok put his fingers on your tongue.

“you taste so sweet.” eunseok looks at your bare stomach from your uplifted shirt. he puts his hand on your stomach while you continue sucking on his fingers. “so healthy.” eunseok says.

you nod and hollow your cheeks around his fingers. eunseok takes his out of your mouth and trails down your chin before desperately grabbing your clothed chest. your hand goes to his tricep, trying to encourage him to keep touching you that way. eunseok lifts up your shirt to expose more of your stomach before bending down to kiss your soft skin.

“i think i found the cure.” eunseok says between kisses. “for your problem.”

eunseok starts sucking harshly on your stomach, pulling away each time to admire his work. he blows cold air on each bruise and kisses it gently as if he’s welcoming it. you stopped trying to prop yourself on your elbows, you fully sink your body into the pillows and the mattress underneath you.

“and what’s that?” you ask breathlessly.

eunseok pulls away from your stomach, looking up at you from between your legs. his smile is wicked and you already know what he’s going to say. 

“as a professional in the medical field, i just think you need to get fucked again.” eunseok puts his fingers back inside of you, earning a moan. “don’t you agree?” he asks.

“i agree.”

eunseok takes his hands away from your body and lifts his shirt over his head with a single hand. you do the same but fumble with the end of your shirt, pulling it off your head in a rush. while eunseok works on his belt you take off your bra and then help him pull off his jeans the rest of the way. all of your clothes are thrown somewhere random in eunseok’s room, immediately once they are out of sight they are out of mind. you only care about eunseok’s dick that bobs in the space of his room and his hands that go back to your body.

he walks on his knees to slot himself in between your legs again, lowering his body until his dick rests on your stomach. it is hard and heavy against your body, you can feel and see the leaking precum come from his tip. 

“who should it be?” eunseok grabs your ankles and puts them on either side of his head. “should i call someone?” eunseok asks playfully.

he revels in the way you pathetically shake your head and how your hand reaches between your legs to grab his dick. you desperately guide him to your entrance and wiggle down the bed so you’re closer to him.

“please help me.” you are desperate, already arching off the bed when eunseok slaps your folds with his dick. “i need it.” you whimper.

eunseok splays his hand across your stomach again, and he uses his other hand to guide himself into your cunt.

“who am i to deny a patient?” eunseok says, letting his tip poke at your entrance.

when eunseok slowly sinks in, both of you are silent. you could hear the clock ticking in eunseok’s room as both of your mouths opened in silent euphoria. a week felt like a century, and being sober made you feel everything. the way your walls relaxed as eunseok slowly pushed himself all the way in, the feeling of his hips kissing yours. you almost think you’re becoming drunk off him when he pulls out slowly just to go right back in even slower. eunseok kisses your calf and wraps his hand around your legs to keep them in place.

“i dreamt about this too.” eunseok murmurs.

he watches your chest move in tandem with his thrusts, how you hold one of your breasts in your hand. he wishes he had another hand, to give the other side of your chest attention too. eunseok instead grabs your stomach, enjoying the sight of your skin peaking through the gaps in his fingers.

“feel better yet?” eunseok asks from above you. 

he knows he should be nicer, but from his point of view he can’t stop himself from becoming cocky. he sees the furrow in your eyebrows and the way you bite you lip trying so hard to be quiet while you take all of him. eunseok teases you by drawing his hips back and thrusting into you, making you put your hand on the headboard again to steady yourself. you can open your eyes only for a second before closing them. 

“come closer.” you whine. 

when you pull at eunseok’s hand on your stomach he obeys immediately. he leans forward until the backs of your knees are on his shoulders. even from the stretch you still preen your neck to kiss eunseok. your soft lips push against his and your tongue goes into his mouth with fervor. you suck on his bottom lip and eunseok lets you. the same way he admired the marks on your stomach you admire looking at his swollen and glossy lips. eunseok presses his sweaty forehead against yours and stays there, trying to see all of the faces you make for him.

you run your hands through his hair and eunseok wonders if you can see the blush across his face in this dark room. he’s focused on hitting you as deep as he can, with slow thrusts that cause you to pause and whine in his face. eunseok brings his body closer to you, letting one of your legs fall from his shoulder so he can press his chest against yours.

“faster please.” you whisper against eunseok’s lips.

he nods and brings his hips back to thrust into you at a faster pace. one of your hands holds eunseok’s that’s planted in the mattress and the other holds your thigh close to your body. eunseok is able to pick up the speed fast, and he’s unrelenting even when your breathing starts to becoming hurried and your body starts squirming underneath him.

“where do you want it?” eunseok grunts. 

he can’t bring himself to be cocky anymore. he has to focus all of his energy in his hips and waiting fro your instruction on where he can cum.

your ankle digs into his back and you lift your hips to give him a new angle. 

“inside.” you laugh against eunseok’s lips at how ridiculous you sound. “that’s how i get cured, right?” you ask.

eunseok is the one reduced to nods now. he nods against your forehead before bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. his tongue runs across your lips before ever going into your mouth, and he presses his tongue against yours to taste you. his hips rut against yours, the sound of your skin slapping against eachother fills the room. eunseok moans into your mouth and you do the same, digging your ankle deeper into his back as he hits that same spot deep inside of you again and again.

“fuck.” eunseok pulls away from your lips. he can feel himself twitching around you, and he can feel your walls close around his dick to milk him. he continues to thrust into you slower and harder now, determined to give you every last drop. “take it.” he groans.

“give it to me.” you whimper underneath him. 

your back arches as far as you can into eunseok’s chest as your legs stiffen. your hips move on their own accord, matching eunseok’s stuttering hips. you two continue to get higher and higher of eachother, until eunseok lets your other leg fall from your shoulder to pull you close. he lifts your body from the bed and pulls you onto his lap, fucking up into you as you helplessly wrap your arms around him to stabilize yourself. you are a moaning mess now, no amount of pressure you apply to your lips could keep you from holding back. eunseok is the same, grunting and moaning into your ear as his hand grips your shoulder.

he keeps you in his lap for awhile, letting his softening dick twitch inside of you while your walls still pulse. when he guides you back to the bed he’s gentle, laying his body on top of yours to still be close to you.

eunseok pulls out of you and falls on the bed next to you. the both of you look at the ceiling, coming down from your shared high. it’s eunseok who turns first to kiss your cheek, but you’re the one that grabs his hand to bring him closer to you. you can feel yourself drifting off to sleep, maybe the best sleep you’ve had in weeks. eunseok doesn’t try to keep you awake to talk, instead he pulls you close and lets his slowing heartbeat lull you to sleep.

#requestz #01zfan: eunseok #eunseok smut #riize smut

[ningningsdream]

[4:28AM] "i still love you, y/n. it was dumb of me to let you go.", ex! jeno pleaded as he stood on your doorstep at an ungodly hour in the night, "everything i see reminds me of you. i've tried to move on but i can't help myself comparing everyone with you. i miss you even when i'm in a room full of people to distract me.", jeno rambled, his rosy cheeks hinting that he was probably a little tipsy.

today would've been your fifth-year anniversary if you stayed together.

"i thought of you every single day for almost a whole year after we broke up.", you said, looking at him.

"me-"

"let me finish.", you interrupted him, holding your index up, "i tried so hard not to, but it felt like the more i was trying to not think of you, the more i did. you were the first and last person i talked to every single day. some mornings, when i was still in a sleepy haze, i found myself looking at my phone to see if you had texted me and when reality hit me, it was another kind of pain. you were part of my everyday, you became a habit. it's hard getting rid of habits. i had to get used to say that i didn't have a boyfriend when asked about relationships, and i couldn't use 'my boyfriend and i already planned something' when i wanted to get out of things. i was wondering if i was the only one that had to hold myself back from sending you a text. i was wondering if you too, struggled with not having me in your life anymore."

"i did. i do. so much, y/n. you don't know how much i want to go back to slap some sense into myself and not break up with you. i was so overwhelmed with graduation, work and keeping up with family and friends that i thought i needed to get rid of something."

"so you got rid of me..."

"and i regret it so fucking much. the minute i saw the tears in your eyes i regretted it. i thought it was for the better, i was so busy i couldn't even be a proper boyfriend to you, and you deserved better than that. i thought letting you go was the best for the both of us."

"the best? i cried every single night for three months straight. not only because i missed you, but because as you said i deserved better. i knew that... i knew it but i also knew that if you showed up like this at my door back then i would've taken you back in a heartbeat. and it made me hate myself, because i loved you more than i loved myself."

"i'm so sorry, y/n. i really am-"

"babe! where are you?", you heard bf!renjun screaming from your room, with his sleepy and worried voice.

"i'll be right back, junnie.", you answered with a little smile on your face, imagining your boyfriend with his eyes closed and a pout on his face as his arm was lying on your empty side of the bed. you turned back to face jeno, whose face seemed like he saw a ghost, "jeno, i appreciate the apology... but you're a little too late. i've stopped waiting for you a long time ago.", you gave him a small apologetic smile.

jeno looked at you and realized how much he fucked up. you've rightfully moved on and he was the only one being stuck in something he created. when you replied to your boyfriend, that was when he noticed the smile on your face, the same smile that used to be directed to him, and that was the only time he saw you express happiness since he appeared on your doorstep.

"fuck, you're really here.", a familiar voice said right after you heard the elevator doors open.

"i really wished i was wrong.", another familiar voice said.

you turned your head and saw two people, you thought you wouldn't see again, walking towards your apartment.

"time to go home, samoyed."

"haechan. jaemin.", you greeted your ex's bestfriends.

"sorry for the disruption.", ex's bestfriend!haechan told you before grabbing jeno's arm and putting it around his shoulders, helping his friend walk away from your apartment and your life.

"how have you been ?", your old childhood bestfriend!jaemin said, letting jeno and haechan walk away first.

"great...you?"

"same."

the feeling of awkwardness and nostalgia could be sensed in the air. you looked at each other a few more seconds as all the memories of your friendship, from when you met in kindergarten to when he stayed by jeno's side when you two broke up, flashed through your eyes.

"baaaabeee!!", your boyfriend whined from far away, "come baaaack!"

"well, it's late. we're going to let you go back to your night. sorry about that.", jaemin nodded towards your ex, "and everything else...", hinting at his own mistakes.

you nodded, acknowledging his apology, "bye, jaem.", you gave him one last smile. it had been a while since he heard his nickname coming out of your mouth.

"bye, y/n.", jaemin returned your smile.

you watched him walk away with his two other friends, knowing that your byes stood as an official farewell to your friendship and his presence in your life.

#nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #lee jeno scenarios #lee jeno imagines #lee jeno timestamps #lee jeno fluff #lee jeno angst #jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno timestamps #jeno fluff #jeno angst

[s-sturn]

𖥔 OPEN ARMS!

part 2

summary: where Chris begins to keep Y/N away from his life after thinking he no longer wanted Y/N, then the girl decides to leave him after getting so tired of the relationship, making Chris realize that he was totally wrong.

warnings: angst, little fight, SADDDDD!!, swearing, regret, crying!!

masterlist!

Y/N’s POV

Chris was going to go out once again with his friends, leaving me aside as he has been doing these last few weeks.

He has been taking me away from his life for days, sometimes messing with his phone while telling something interesting about my day, he seemed much more interested in sending torpedoes to his friends than in hearing me speak.

All that was tiring, I see Chris finishing fixing his hair and sending a message to a friend of his who would be with him at this party, he left the room not even making a point of saying goodbye.

My mind was surrounded by thoughts, I felt that it was no longer important in the brunette's life, and that he didn't love me anymore and that he could even be with another girl.

Tears began to wet my pink cheeks, while I felt empty and alone, thinking that I lost the love of my life, and that now I would have to leave it.

I fell asleep in the middle of my thoughts, waking up the next day without feeling the presence of Chris by my side, leaving me so hurt.

I got up from the boy's bed, sitting on the edge, taking a deep breath and cleaning my face as I always did.

I leave my boyfriend's room going up the stairs of the house, reaching the kitchen, meeting the triplets.

I give a kind smile when I see Nick and Matt saying good morning, I would expect something from Chris, but he is as usual, on his phone.

━━━ How about we go out to eat? After all, none of us have anything to do. ━━━ Nick asked everyone at the table, while Matt and I agreed with our heads and I soon turn to Chris

━━━ I have things to do today, Nate invited me to another party and I'll go. ━━━ The brunette said arrogant getting up from the table and leaving for his room, where he would stay there, for a long time.

I get upset and irritated, making me get up from the table and go down the stairs to the door of Chris' room, I hit that piece of wood several times, soon coming away with Chris' angry expression.

━━━ Stop! That's fucking annoying! What do you want? ━━━ He said angry and rude, making me incredulous about the way he talked to me.

━━━ What the fuck is that, Chris?! You keep going out to parties, ignoring your brothers and me, who am your girlfriend! ━━━ My tone was angry, very angry.

━━━ What a drama, Y/N! I'm just having fun! ━━━ He rolled his eyes slightly as he crossed his arms

━━━ But to have fun, you need to kick me out of your life so much?! ━━━ After my question he was quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what to say.

━━━ Maybe. ━━━ My mouth fell, I couldn't speak or say anything, tears threaten to fall, but I didn't let them fall. ━━━ Maybe I don't even love you anymore. ━━━ His tone was arrogant and cold, I didn't recognize him anymore, the tears that threatened to fall finally wet my face, flashbacks come to my mind, reminding me of my first date with Chris, our first kiss, our first "I love you", our first look.

I didn't believe that the man who said he loved me so much, gave up the love he had on me, I sighed closing my eyes, while he took his attention to my person and returned to the phone.

━━━ So, I'll let you go, we're done. ━━━ My tone was crying, I left the bedroom door going up the stairs without looking back, my vision was blurred by so many tears accumulated on my face.

Nick and Matt asked what happened and I just replied that we had finished what made the two brothers go into shock.

They knew that Chris was the love of my life, that I wanted to marry him, have children.

I quickly said goodbye to the two of them leaving the house quickly, getting into my car and going back to my apartment.

I felt an inexplicable emptiness in my chest, an emptiness that Chris filled, my heart was broken, I didn't feel like doing anything else, just lying in my bed and sleeping for days and days, and when I woke up all this was just a horrible nightmare.

I thought at what moment he stopped loving me, at what moment I stopped being his girl, my head exploded, while my eyes looked like a waterfall.

CHRIS’ POV

It's been exactly 2 months since I last saw Y/N.

She cried so much, and I didn't comfort her as I always did, I caused her the pain and I never noticed it.

As soon as I heard the words she had left me, I bitterly regretted what I had said, I just wanted to run after her, hug her, kiss her, and beg for her forgiveness while saying how much I loved her, even if for a stupid reason I had hidden and denied these feelings.

For some point in my life, I felt that my relationship with Y/N was too good, which made me scared of everything ending and I ended up hurting myself again, so I pushed her away and denied my feelings, causing an inexplicable pain in both of us, which for some reason I had never noticed, I went out to parties and came back a lot in the afternoon, I always saw her lying on my bed, sleeping peacefully, it made me feel so guilty, for thinking that I really didn't have any feelings for her anymore, and that morning when I said those words I regretted it in the same second.

I felt so much guilt to the point that I didn't feel like doing anything else, I didn't want to eat or talk, I just grabbed the only blouse there was of Y/N in which there was her smell, I slept calmly, thinking she was there, and when I woke up and returned to my reality, I cried like a baby.

I can't stand the way she is missed anymore, her touch, her smell, her kiss, I miss everything about her.

I regret so much that I let her go.

I hated this thing sm, omfg 😭😭😭 And i’m so sorry if this post has spelling mistakes!

taglist.

answer this post if u want to be in my taglist!

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo angst #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x you #s-sturn

[og-danny-dorito]

Would it be possible to request a hc of ghost who’s fwb with reader and he catches feelings like how he’d go abt that👀

hello!! sorry about the late response, but of course!! this is. VERY badly written and i ended up getting carried away and making it kind of like a fic so please be warned. i've hit a writing block recently so that's why it sucks 🚶

[ Ghost Catching Feelings For His "Friend With Benefits" ]

TW: mentions of sexual content. minors do not interact. small text included in post (warning for my visually impaired readers).

The relationship you and ghost have is very uhh... complicated. To say the least.

its not like no one's heard of the "friends with benefits" situation at some point in their lives, but he never really thought he'd be involved in something like that

it's even more of a shocker when he starts noticing that he wants a little more than the body that he's learned like the back of his hand

to be more specific, he wants your company. and regardless of whatever logical train of thought might go on in anyone else's head, to him that's a problem

ghost is very task oriented. when he starts to realize that he's developing feelings for you, he's going to do everything in his power to stop it

which means he's going to start avoiding you (rip)

usually he sticks around for a little bit after your little "meetups" are done, but ya'll start going back to square one with him just disappearing after he's done cleaning you up

the meetings start dwindling down in frequency and, eventually, to zero

it hurts your feelings, of course, but you know him well enough to know that he's not very confrontational when it comes to emotions and he's either lost interest in you or wants to stop for some other unknown reason

you won't pressure him to speak, but the fact that he doesn't even have the balls to tell you to your face pisses you off enough that you end up coming to his quarters one day after you get back from a mission

your blood is already boiling hot from the adrenaline of almost having you and 5 of your comrade's blown to bits, the fuel of not being able to take your energy out in the "usual" means fueling you enough to go banging on his door at an ungodly hour of the morning

only you didn't actually expect the door to swing open and reveal the very man you were only half searching for. and it doesn't look like he expected you either.

there's a long beat of silence where it doesn't really look like either of you know what to say, but you eventually speak up after searching his eyes for any sort emotion to go off of.

"Where the fuck have you been these past few weeks?!"

his stunned silence gives you plenty of room to rant at him about how upset you are that he ghosted you (pun fully intended im hilarious i know), not knowing what's been up with him and how HORRIBLE his communication skills are, how he didn't even have the balls to say that he didn't find you attractive anymore-

but you can barely get the rest of the words out before he pulls you into his room with a clean swoop and shuts the door behind him, throwing you off your balance enough to fall onto his cot with a guttural "hough!"

but you only have enough time to get your bearings before he sends you that look

yes, that look. like he's waiting for you to be ready to listen to what he has to say, arms folded against his chest as he stands in front of the door like he's guarding it

and after enough of a pause of silence for you to catch your breath and give him enough of an irritated but intent stare, he speaks

"I never said I didn't want you anymore. I didn't say anything. It was on purpose."

your eye twitches a little bit, sitting up with a groan. your muscles are already aching from the day but being thrown around certainly didn't make it better

"I... I didn't want to cross any lines. Found myself wanting more than just your mouth on me and got cold feet. Got nervous."

it's almost kind of odd how unsure he sounds, but you've seen this uncertainty in him before

he gets this way when he talks about something he thinks you'd like, or when you can see that you said something that made him want to laugh but he isn't letting himself do it

it's restraint, and you can see from the tightness in his shoulders that there's a lot of things that he wants to say that he isn't letting himself verbalize

but you choose to be patient with him, and sit up fully to lean against the wall and place your hands in your lap, waiting.

the silence between you eventually prompts you to speak, and you can't help the crease of confusion that furrows between your brows

"What are you saying? You uh... want me to... what do you want?"

the words make him stiffen a little, and for a second you can see his eyes flicker over you

it's something like desire, something you've sen a thousand times before in one of the many endeavors where he pursued you into some abandoned storage room in the base or played the game of cat and mouse that eventually lead into one of your personal quarters

only this time he looks more focused on your emotions and how you're processing the situation as if he's expecting you to figure it out on your own

aaand eventually the pieces start to click together. you don't... understand everything, but you get the idea of what he's saying to you

he wants you

not just your body, but you. as a person. it's something that burns slow as a realization, the flames making your neck and face heat up as you process what's going on

"You like me?"

his tone is soft when he responds. "More than that, love."

and so you sit in silence for a bit before he makes his move towards you

he's cautious at first, as if offering an opening for you to back out if you want, then goes in for the kill

you spend the night together like you have many times before, but somehow it feels different this time. more exposed, in a way.

he still doesn't take off his mask tonight, but over time he ends up getting more comfortable with it and makes an effort to remove it on occasion

like a lot of things in your relationship, the process of revealing himself both physically and emotionally is slow since this is almost entirely uncharted territory for him

he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't really deserve you or is somehow holding you down, but he barely ever verbalizes these thoughts since they reveal a more vulnerable side of him that he barely lets anyone else see

but even though it takes time, progress reveals that he's an incredibly caring lover and speaks with his actions where his words fail him

that and he's really possessive. but he was before you two were an item anyway so it doesn't change much

it's just that now he's a lot more open with his displeasure of others rather than having to resort just tracking them like a hawk from across a room or something

but overall i think that he'd be very tentative in going about actually establishing a relationship with you, but he loosens up later on and finds himself genuinely feeling safe with you and trusting you almost entirely

© ogdannydorito 2022; reblogs are greatly appreciated! do not repost, republish, or generally plagiarize any of my works without permission. translations welcome with proper credit.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon riley imagine #simon riley headcanons #simon riley x reader #ghost #ghost headcanon #ghost imagine #modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #modern warfare ii #cod mwii #cod headcanons #cod imagine #mwii headcanon #mwii imagine #call of duty mwii #modern warfare ii ghost #call of duty ghost #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 ghost

[qpenpals]

First of all, support Shubble and support all victims (which is a statement that while said a lot, seems not be followed as frequently, however i hope those who read this abide by it)

Second, I don’t support wilbur soot/william gold, and I don’t think that anyone should after this.

Third, while this situation is not about me, i have feelings and opinions about it that i would like to share, but even if you don’t read anymore,

Please watch shelby’s vod, and maybe try checking her content out, because while i don’t frequently watch her, i enjoy her streams and maybe you will too! her new hardcore series sounds great :)

This is quite long, but honestly this is kind of just for me to collect my thoughts, however if you read to the end thank you<3 im touched :)

ALSO ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING

Alright, so I have loved wilbur soot’s content for a very long time, 4 years or so. I watched the streams and listened to his music from the start. His content is entwined with many of my fond memories.

Earlier today, I had a breakdown over this whole situation, because, as I’ve been quite busy with school, my job, and other assorted things in my life, I found out about this morning. I had woken from a nightmare about my previous abuser. Who i will be talking about a lot more of as they really impacted my views on this situation.

However this nightmare had left me in a fragile mood, my girlfriend was still sleeping and i didn’t want to wake her, so to comfort myself i went to read one of my bookmarked fanfictions, this fanfiction, while i dont remember the title is one that i’ve found comforting for a very long time, so much so that when im stressed my partner has it saved to send to me so i can calm down.

It was a fanfiction about quackity and tubbo, wilbur soot was mentioned maybe 5 times, and the author had deleted it.

This caused me to try and find out why, so i went to their page and they had posted a temporary fic explaining what had been going on.

My first reaction had been disbelief, I then went to research everything. It was a lot to process.

I watched shelby’s vod. Before this i had mainly been disconnected from what i had seen, taking it it but not with any of my own feelings or thoughts really, just processing.

Shelby’s situation hits really hard for me because a lot of it mirrors my own abusive relationship of a few years ago. The wording Wilbur used against her, sounds like what my old partner would use against me. His actions, such as her having to clean and taking care of food, and amenities, were things i had to experience.

Abuse TW:

My old partner would physically abuse me through biting as well, he would claim that he just liked knowing i was his, and yet, like shubble, if i ever used our safe word, which happened so fucking often, he either wouldn’t listen, bite down harder on my neck, or fucking smile at me before letting go.

This got to the point that multiple times he had drawn blood from my neck, that i still have scars from today. And as i watch Shubble talk about her story which is ever so close to mine, I wonder that if I had watched this before, maybe i wouldn’t have stayed in that relationship.

I proceeded to stay in this relationship for 2 years before i realized how much harm he was doing to me, because i truly believed he loved me, because of all the lovebombing he would do.

End of Abuse TW:

And yet i felt pain aside from sympathy or memories, when learning of this, as the content Wilbur had put out had actually helped me out of this relationship, his music was pretty much all i listened to the months of healing after i got out and it helped, the art is good, and yet the author is one i cannot respect nor support in anyway now that i am aware.

i’d suggest watching this tiktok by @lasmanburg that really explains my thoughts and feelings on this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1tb5Wg/

Right back to the content. I don’t believe that we should throw it all away, i don’t think that people should be deleting their art, fanfiction, or anything based on Wilbur. Because in the end it’s all art that we have created and interpreted and though the man who inspired it is horrible, all that has been made does not reflect his actions, but instead love and creativity from vast multifaceted community.

One can continue their writing and work because they are the ones creating it, not him, and besides most interpretations of him stray quite far from the source anyways

I think that one can continue to engage in his content as long as one does not directly support him, such as pirating his music, but personally at least right now listening to his music which brought me so much comfort-makes me feel sick. So think i’ll be taking a step back.

I don’t really know how to end this, i just needed to get my thoughts out honestly. I have therapy in an hour. I hope all of you who’ve made it to the end have a wonderful day and drink some water. I wish shelby well, and i’m glad she has been able to share this situation. And with that, I must now leave :)

#lil summary in the tags #alright so basically i don’t think people should delete their works based off of wilbur and that as long as one does not support him direct #engaging in previous content is okay #however i will likely not be posting about him anytime soon #also go check out #lasmanburg #because their videos have really helped me put my thoughts into words and i think their content is pretty swell #also if they are currently reading this hello! i hope tagging you isnt a bother #and if you’re uncomfortable i will remove it! #wilbur soot #william gold #shubble #tw abuse #i speak! #wilbur situation

[call-me-maggie13]

Diana is in the menace stage of toddlerhood. At least, that’s how Lilith has referred to it. She makes messes like their her job and argues about absolutely every rule she’s ever had. Normally, this is simply a small problem. Something that makes Beatrice sigh and roll her eyes when she really thinks about it but she understands. Diana is trying to figure out how to be a person and how the world works. She doesn’t know why she’s doing most things, she’s just trying to have fun.

Diana’s testing more, pushing her boundaries and seeing how far she’s allowed to go. She’s realized that Beatrice will let her get away with anything if she pouts and calls her dada.

This is not a good thing.

"Diana, no!" Beatrice races after her, sliding around the corner and through the parted wave of students in the hallway. Diana glances back and giggles maniacally, running faster before disappearing.

Beatrice’s heart stops.

She can’t breathe and she feels faint. She just lost Diana. It’s fucking eight o’clock in the morning and she’s lost the baby.

Read more here or below the break!

Someone grabs her wrist, spins her and points to Dr. Superion’s door, saying something. Beatrice can’t hear him over the blood rushing in her ears, but she allows him to lead her to the doorway.

Dr. Superion is holding Diana by the wrists, arguing quietly while Diana fights to get away.

"Diana!" Beatrice rushes to her, drops to her knees in front of her. "What the hell? You can’t run off like that!"

Diana sticks her bottom lip out, her chin wobbles and Beatrice knows she shouldn’t let her win.

"Sorry, dada."

Oops. It’s gone. Beatrice can’t be upset with her anymore. Diana’s forgiven.

It’s the pointed look from Dr. Superion that changes her mind. Beatrice wants to throw her head back and groan, picking Diana up and carrying her to their seats.

"No, Diana. You know you can’t run off like that. You could’ve been hurt or gotten lost. You know that." Beatrice sits Diana on the desk in front of her, rubbing up and down her arms and holding her steady.

"I sorry, dada." Diana pouts, leans back from Beatrice.

"Diana, if you can’t stay with me, I can’t bring you here anymore. Do you understand?"

Students are starting to take their seats, the few in the spaces surrounding Beatrice gathering awkwardly in front of Dr. Superion’s desk. They’re pretending they don’t hear, in an attempt to offer Beatrice some dignity.

It’s not working.

"No! Bea-Bea! No! Down!" Diana pushes Beatrice away and slides off the table, racing down the steps and into Dr. Superion’s legs. Beatrice sighs and tries to pretend the sudden change in address didn’t send a sharp stab shooting down her arms.

Dr. Superion picks Diana up and waits for Beatrice to stand, Diana writhes and cries in her arms but Dr. Superion holds her steady until Beatrice collects her. Beatrice carries her into the hall, screaming and fighting, and out into the courtyard, where she sits on the nearest bench.

Beatrice sets Diana down carefully, ensuring the little girl doesn’t hit her head when she throws her entire body to the ground. She lets her cry, lets her scream, lets her hit the ground and kick her legs into the grass, lets her flop like a fish out of water.

She understands. Sometimes Beatrice wants to throw herself to the ground and scream and cry and kick. But she’s not two, so she’s not allowed to.

Eventually, Diana stills, rolls onto her back and watches Beatrice while she cries quietly. Beatrice lowers herself to the grass next to her, offers her hand for Diana to hold. Diana takes it, squeezes around her fingers until her knuckles are white.

"Why don’t we take some deep breaths?" Beatrice keeps her voice low and steady, squeezes Diana’s hand back when she attempts to take a slow breath with her. They breath together again and Diana holds her arms out for Beatrice to pick her up and cradle her in her lap. Beatrice holds her quietly, taking slow measured breaths and feeling Diana relax in her arms. They watch squirrels chase each other across the grass in front of them and up a tree, they listen to the birds singing to each other, they feel the breeze tousle their hair.

"Sorry, dada," Diana whispers against Beatrice’s chest, her brown eyes bright against the red rimming them. Beatrice kisses the top of her head.

"It’s okay, baby. You were having some really big feelings, are you okay?" Diana nods then pauses, watches Beatrice before shaking her head. "That’s okay, what do you need?"

"Stay?" Diana points to the ground and Beatrice nods. They won’t go home now. Maybe in a bit, maybe if Diana isn’t feeling up to going back to the lecture. But not right now.

"I need you to know, Di. You have to stay with me, okay?" Diana nods solemnly with tears welling up in her eyes, Beatrice softens, kisses her nose and holds her face. "Do you know why you have to stay with me, baby?"

Diana shakes her head, sniffles hard enough that she shakes in Beatrice’s lap.

"You have to stay with me so you don’t get hurt. So I can keep you safe, do you understand?" Diana nods her head, leans forward and tucks her nose into the crook of Beatrice’s neck.

They don’t return to class, Beatrice decides they’ve done enough for the day and takes them home after assuring Diana they’ll be back next week. Ava’s not in sight when they arrive, the door’s locked and the lights are out so Beatrice assumes she’s either asleep or running errands.

Diana is still wrapped around Beatrice, babbling quietly into her neck and playing with the ends of her hair. Beatrice rubs her back and kisses the side of her head, locking the door behind them and settling into the couch with Diana. The toddler seems completely disinterested in leaving Beatrice’s embrace, content to curl into Beatrice’s chest and listen to her heartbeat.

Beatrice puts on a children’s movie, something she had watched as a child but was never given the opportunity to enjoy. Diana doesn’t seem to care.

"I sorry, dada," Diana murmurs around her thumb, wiggles and pulls closer to Beatrice.

"You’re not in trouble, baby." Something about the way Diana spoke breaks Beatrice’s heart, makes her tighten her embrace around her.

Somewhere behind them, Ava’s voice emerges, slurred and sleepy.

"What’s wrong? Why aren’t you at class?" Beatrice tries to smile at her assuringly over her shoulder. It isn’t working as well as she would hope.

Beatrice doesn’t know how to explain their morning without Diana thinking she’s in trouble and getting upset again. She doesn’t try.

It's unclear when Diana started getting upset when she thinks she’s in trouble. The sudden shift from being annoyed at corrections to nearly catatonic must be unusual. Or perhaps it was a completely normal phase of childhood.

Beatrice wouldn’t know, she didn’t have a normal childhood. She barely had a childhood.

"Later?" Ava nods softly and brushes Diana’s hair out of her face to press a kiss against her forehead and joins them on the couch, tucking herself into Beatrice’s side and dropping her head on her shoulder with a yawn. "You can go back to sleep, darling, you don’t have to stay awake because we’re here."

"I know." Ava slides her arm around Beatrice’s waist and accepts when Diana drapes herself over Ava’s legs, humming quietly when Ava starts to scratch her back softly.

Beatrice doesn’t know how she’s meant to start the conversation. How she’s meant to react. But Ava is Diana’s mother and she needs to know about Diana’s eloping. It’s unsafe for Diana and they both need to ensure they’re extra vigilant.

"What’s wrong?" Beatrice looks up from the sectioned plate she’s been scrubbing and finds Ava watching her, twisting and pulling the collar of her shirt anxiously.

Beatrice doesn’t know how to answer. How does she put it gently and say it in a way that doesn’t sound inflammatory?

"Diana ran away today." So much for putting it gently, Beatrice thinks.

"Oh?" Ava joins her at the sink when Beatrice has abandoned the plate. Beatrice glances to Diana’s door to reassure herself Diana is still napping.

"She just - she took off. I had her and then she was just gone. Disappearing into the sea of students. I thought…" Beatrice doesn’t want to remember what she thought. I thought I lost her. I thought she was gone forever. I thought I’m a terrible person.

I thought my abilities aren't up to the task of caring for a child.

"What happened?" Ava turns Beatrice to face her, drying her soapy hands with the dish towel. Her voice is calm and soothing. The exact opposite of how Beatrice feels when she remembers the gut-wrenching seconds where she didn’t know where Diana was.

"I don’t - I’m not sure. I swear - Ava, I promise I wasn’t negligent. We were just walking down the hallway and then she just ran off. I tried to chase her, I promise. She’s just so little and so quick and - " Ava’s cool palms cradle Beatrice’s furiously burning cheeks, softly tilting Beatrice’s head up to meet her eyes.

"I believe you," Ava assures. "She has been wandering off the last few days, I should’ve mentioned something.

"When did it start?" Knowing Ava was aware of Diana’s sudden interest in unaccompanied walkabouts and hadn’t thought to inform Beatrice of it stabs her between the ribs. Perhaps if she’d known, she wouldn’t have dropped Diana’s hand to pick up her stuffed monkey. Perhaps she wouldn’t have even set her down to walk herself.

"I don’t know, two, maybe three, days ago? She made it halfway down the block before I even realized what was happening the first time." Ava shakes her head and shrugs. "This type of thing isn’t unusual, my mom used to threatened to chain me to the ceiling because I’d always wander off in stores. You know what worked for me?" Ava doesn’t wait for Beatrice to respond, spinning on her heel and marching to the door. She grabs her keys and spins them around her finger, turning back with a heart stopping grin. "A leash."

"Ava, no."

"Ava, yes." Ava responds, slinking out the front door before Beatrice has an opportunity to conjure a response, peeking back at her before disappearing into the hall. "I’ll be back before she wakes up.

Ava is a woman of her word. No sooner has she returned, unicorn backpack in hand, than Diana stumbles out of her room, hair frizzled and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Beatrice is settled quietly in a chair watching Ava struggle with the child harness mildly bemused, Diana pulls herself into Beatrice’s lap and sighs heavily.

"What’s up, pup?" Ava asks her, digging through drawers for a pair of scissors to cut the tags off the bag.

Diana doesn’t respond, watching Ava struggle to clip the lead to the hook on the back of the bag. She frowns and turns to Beatrice, "What’s it?"

"It’s a lead - "

"A child safety tether!" Ava interjects but neither Diana nor Beatrice acknowledges her.

"For a puppy?" Diana doesn’t react the way Beatrice would expect a toddler would to the possibility of receiving a puppy. She frowns and drops her head against Beatrice’s shoulder, seeming disgruntled.

"Not for a puppy. We aren’t getting a puppy, patinho," Beatrice assures, Diana relaxes and smiles. "It’s for you."

Diana ponders the revelation for a moment, mulling the concept over before shaking her head and responding with finality, "No. I not puppy, I not need."

Beatrice turns to Ava with her eyebrows raised, silently awaiting her response.

"You don’t want to stay with us so we need this to keep you safe." Diana frowns but doesn’t respond. She does, however, vehemently refuse to try it on when Ava offers.

~*~

"Is she a rescue?" Lilith grins wickedly, motioning to the leash in Ava’s hand attached to a pouting Diana. Mary forces a cough to hide her laughter when Beatrice glares sharply at Lilith.

"Personally, I think it’s adorable. You can carry your own snacks now, Diana," Camila smiles at the disgruntled child.

"No," Diana grunts, crossing her arms across her chest and turning away from them. Ava had hoped the aquarium would lift her spirits but it appears to have had the opposite effect, Diana seems more upset and despondent than she’d been when they’d told her where they were going. Maybe the harness was a terrible idea.

Diana does not interact with Ava nor Beatrice, turning away when they try to speak to her. She only responds to Lilith, grabbing her hand and tugging until Lilith crouches so Diana can whisper in her ear.

By the fourth time, Lilith is glaring at Beatrice and reaching for the handle in Ava’s hand. Ava releases it but watches suspiciously as Lilith hands it to Diana.

"What - " Beatrice starts to protest, stopping when Lilith gives her a head shake.

Diana stares at the handle in her fingers, eyebrows furrowed and face blank as she considers the object. Everyone watches her silently, waiting. Diana turns it over and rubs it between her palms before gripping it between her tiny hands and looking up at Lilith, grinning up at her and giggling.

"You can’t run off or I’ll take it back, deal?" Lilith offers her fist for Diana to bump. Diana nods and knocks her fist into Lilith’s before turning back to the fish tank in front of her.

Lilith hovers her hand over Diana’s bag, prepared to grab her if she starts to run off but the action proves to be unnecessary. Diana stays with them the entire time, never more than three paces ahead and constantly checking where her parents are. By the end of their adventure, she’s offering the handle back to Lilith and raising her arms for Ava to pick her up.

"No more, peas," Diana states, dropping her head on Ava’s shoulder.

"No more what?" Beatrice asks, stroking Diana’s hair.

"Choose. You do now."

They laugh and Lilith turns to Diana, "You’re not going to run off anymore, right?"

Diana considers her question before shaking her head.

"Good, now take that leash off that little girl, she’s not a dog." Lilith unclips Diana’s bag and removes it, extending it to Beatrice and dropping it in her arms.

"It’s a child-safety tether," Ava defends.

"It’s torture," Lilith deadpans, Beatrice rolls her eyes and sighs, tucking the bag under her arm.

Diana remains true to her word, while they bring her bag with them for the next few weeks as a reminder of what will become if Diana decides to wander away. Diana doesn’t wander off again, she seems to prefer her tiny slice of freedom over her disappearing act.

#warrior nun #sister beatrice #ava silva #avatrice #warrior nun s2 #bea and ava #warrior nun season 2 #wn s2 #save warrior nun #warrior nun netflix #babysitting au #babysitter au #yes this is a modern family reference

[runnning-outof-time]

Right in Front of Him | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Tommy Shelby threw himself into work after his family became deeply fractured from his own doing. (Y/N) is his new secretary, who's just been hired into the company and wants to make a good impression. This leads to Charlie making a solo trip to Small Heath and Tommy realizing that he may not be able to win the fight with his feelings this time.

Warnings: language

Word Count: 4256

A/N: I just hope this one makes sense. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR THOUGHTS & COMMENTS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future stories like this one!

"Good morning, Mr. Shelby," (Y/N) greeted her boss when she noticed him entering the office. His response to her was the same as it was every day. He glanced over in her direction, his eyes on her as he continued walking to the doors of his office. As he got closer to her, he nodded his head in a silent greeting without missing a beat in his step. She would have missed it if she wasn't looking, but in the few months she'd been working for The Shelby Company Ltd., she learned to look up.

Thomas Shelby was a man of few words. He liked to come into his office to get his work done and leave. He had no time for extra conversations, especially those that didn't regard business.

Business was the only thing on his mind. He had nothing else. His family was in prison because he put them there. Ada was back in Boston because he sent her there. His son, Charlie, was home without a father. The boy probably didn't even love his father anymore. After all he was the reason why his son got kidnapped. At times, Tommy was afraid to go near him. He was afraid that doing so would put the boy in harm's way again.

(Y/N) came onto the staff of the Shelby Company Ltd. after Tommy told Lizzie that she could take some time away from her job. It wasn't a surprise to him that she jumped at the opportunity. He could tell that she harbored resentment towards him for what he did to his family. He didn't blame her for it.

(Y/N) was young, but she knew her place. She did her work and she kept to herself. She didn't ask Tommy questions about the things that she had to complete. He liked that about her. He liked that she was punctual. He liked that she was thorough with the tasks that she took on. He liked her. But he couldn't let those feelings get in the way of his business, so he pushed them aside.

The end of her shift was approaching when a man entered the office. He greeted (Y/N) before telling her that he had some urgent items that needed to be given to her boss. She signed for them before taking them into her hands. After thanking the postman, she turned and made her way to the doors of Tommy's office.

"Mr. Shelby..." she started after she'd gone through the motions of knocking on the door and listening for him to let her in. She knew he was in there, but she still respected his authority. "An invoice was just delivered. It's from Mr. Solomons in Camden Town," she informed him from the doorway. Tommy glanced up from his desk as she spoke, and wordlessly waved her over to where he was sitting.

(Y/N) listened and moved so that she was now standing in front of his desk. She then gave him the invoice and waited silently as he looked it over. "Fucking hell," Tommy muttered under his breath as he dropped the paper onto the stack he'd amassed already.

Alfie had been hitting him with unnecessary charges after a smaller export operation of his had been found out by authorities. At times Tommy didn't even know why he was still working with the man. All he'd become was a thorn in the Birmingham gangster's side.

"I can send a reply asking for more information if you'd like," (Y/N) suggested after he finished mumbling about how his associate only sent him the amount that was due.

"No, it's fine (Y/N)," he waved off her idea as he rubbed his temples. He cleared his throat then before looking up at her, "thank you."

"You're welcome, Mr. Shelby," she responded, nodding her head slightly before she turned to leave his office.

"(Y/N), wait..." Tommy called after her, making her freeze in her place and turn to face him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I..." he paused, trying hard to find the words that he wanted to say to her. What did he even want to say to her? "Nevermind," he eventually waved her off, letting her go back to the work she'd been doing. She didn't question his change of mind and instead nodded once more before leaving his office.

"Good morning, Mr. Shelby," (Y/N) greeted her boss as she heard the sound of footsteps on the hardwood. She was finishing writing something in the book on her desk, so she wasn't able to look up right away.

"Who are you?" the voice that asked didn't come from her boss, but instead from a woman.

"Excuse me?" (Y/N) asked as she finally looked up to see an older woman standing in the entrance to the offices; a woman she hadn't met before. Her words held no attitude behind them. She was simply caught off guard by the question she got.

"Who are you?" the woman asked again, her eyebrows raised. (Y/N) could instantly pick up the intimidating air that she had around her.

"My name's (Y/N). I'm a secretary here," (Y/N) responded, a polite smile forming on her face.

The woman scoffed then. "The bloody nerve of that boy...puts his own family in prison and then completely changes the structure of the company. How old are ya, love? You don't look a day over twenty."

"I'm sorry?" (Y/N) was taken back by the woman's sudden outburst, as she had no idea where it came from and why she was so mad. "I don't believe I've met you before," she said then after refusing to answer the question of her age. She didn't see why that was important.

"We haven't met. I've been sitting in a cell for the last six months," the woman snapped back, although it seemed like her attitude wasn't being directed at (Y/N), but rather at the situation itself.

"I...I'm sorry to hear that," (Y/N) stammered out, unsure of what else to say. She didn't have a clue as to why this lady was speaking to her like this.

"He's really kept you in the dark on a lot, hasn't he?" the woman then asked as she quirked her eyebrow upward. (Y/N) stayed silent, which made the woman scoff again as she shook her head. "My name's Polly Gray, and I was the company treasurer. I'm not sure if I still hold the title, or if Thomas has pawned that off also," she introduced herself finally. "I came to find out."

"Mr. Shelby's not in today, Ms. Gray. I'm sorry," (Y/N) informed her then, her statement making Polly sigh again.

"If he's not in, and you're his new secretary, I'm going to need you to take this to him," she stated, holding out a sealed envelope then.

"Excuse me?"

"This needs to get to him. It's urgent," Polly explained further.

(Y/N) was still confused. "And I need to bring it to his home?" she asked.

"Assuming that that's where he is, yes," Polly nodded. (Y/N) stayed silent and thought about it for a moment. Then she took the envelope from the older woman's hand, deciding that making a house call to her boss might be better than facing whatever consequences Polly might have. In the short time since she'd met her, (Y/N) had found out that Polly was not a woman that you messed with. "A company driver will take you there. Thank you, (Y/N)," she informed her, nodding once more before she turned to leave the office.

(Y/N) let out a sigh as she moved to grab her jacket and purse. She made sure that the envelope was secured in her purse before she went out to the car that was waiting to take her to her destination.

The drive wasn't a short one, and it gave (Y/N) enough time to worry about what she was getting into. Surely her boss would be upset if she showed up at his home unannounced. There also was the possibility that he wasn't even there.

(Y/N) gazed up at the mansion in awe as she was helped out of the car. She knew that he had a big home — he was the CEO of a rather successful company, but she never thought she'd be seeing it in person. The enormity of it blew her away.

She walked up the small set of steps to the door and knocked on it, waiting a few moments until an older woman came to answer it . Of course he wasn't going to answer it himself. "Can I help you?" the lady asked.

"I have something to give to Mr. Shelby. I'm his secretary. Ms. Polly Gray wanted me to deliver it to him," (Y/N) explained the reason behind her being there. "Is Mr. Shelby in?" she backtracked when she realized that she should have asked that first.

"He is," the woman nodded, "I'll show you to his office," she said then before letting (Y/N) walk into the house. She was led through a few halls before they stopped in front of a closed door. The woman then knocked on the door and stepped inside, leaving (Y/N) out in the hall. She returned a few seconds later. "Mr. Shelby is on the phone at the moment. He should be finished soon," she informed (Y/N), who nodded her head. The woman then explained that she needed to attend to other duties in the meantime and that she couldn't stay with her.

So (Y/N) was left alone in the hallway. That was until the sound of little feet pattering off of the hardwood was heard. It made her look to her left, where she saw a young boy making his way toward her.

"Hello!" the boy chirped, a smile on his face.

"Hi," (Y/N) smiled politely.

"Who are you?" he asked then, quirking an eyebrow upward. (Y/N) knew then that this must've been Tommy's son, Charlie, because the boy looked so much like him when he pulled that expression.

"My name is (Y/N). I work for your dad," she answered, hoping that she was correct in inferring the boy's relationship to her boss.

"Do you want to come play with me, (Y/N)?" he asked then, a sliver of hope in his eyes.

The door to Tommy's office opened before she could say anything. "You can come in," he said, making (Y/N)'s eyes snap to him. "(Y/N)?" he questioned when he realized who was waiting for him. He'd opened the door and called for whoever it was without looking first.

"Hello, Mr. Shelby," she said softly as she felt her cheeks heating up just by looking at him. He looked different now. He wasn't in his usual three-piece suit, but instead only had on a plain button down and some trousers. His hair was haphazardly pushed off of his forehead. Even though his attire looked comfortable, he still gave off the aura that commanded respect. It pained (Y/N) to admit it, but she found the entirety of it attractive.

"She was gonna come play with me, dad," the boy that (Y/N) just remembered was standing next to her, said with a slight whine.

"She's here for business, son," Tommy responded to him, looking away as a pout formed on Charlie's face. The boy was really good at pulling it, and Tommy found it to be one thing that he often caved to.

"Maybe I'll come another day to play with you," (Y/N) told the boy without thought, making the child's expression perk up. She immediately wanted to backtrack on her statement when she realized that she was essentially inviting herself over to their home again, but no one questioned it.

"Ok," Charlie nodded before he turned and left the conversation.

"Come," Tommy said as he opened the door wider for her to follow him into the grand office. "What do you have for me?" he asked once they were seated across from each other.

"A note. It's from Ms. Gray. She said that it was urgent," (Y/N) explained as she handed it over.

Tommy suppressed a scoff as he heard what she said. "So you've met my aunt," he said as he opened the envelope.

"I have. She had some interesting things to say about myself and the company in general," (Y/N) responded, thinking back to the conversation she had earlier.

"We're not exactly seeing eye-to-eye at the moment. Which is why you were the one asked to bring this here, I'm guessing," was all Tommy said about the situation as he put his glasses on to read the contents of the paper in his hands. (Y/N) watched him carefully as his eyes glanced over the paper and she stayed silent as he scoffed at the end. "Figures," was all he said, and (Y/N) felt like it wasn't her place to ask him for more context.

"Is there anything you'd like for me to deliver back to Ms. Gray?" she instead asked, hoping that she could be of some service.

Tommy shook his head. "No. If I have something to say, I will say it to her directly."

"Oh. Ok," (Y/N) nodded as she dropped her gaze to her lap.

"I'm sorry you had to come out here because of family matters," Tommy said then as he dropped his glasses back onto the stack of papers on his desk.

"It's ok," (Y/N) practically repeated her last statement, not knowing what else to add to the conversation. "I'm just doing my job."

"Thank you for doing so. You're welcome to leave now."

"You're welcome, Mr. Shelby. Have a nice day," she said as she stood from the chair.

She then showed herself out of the office once she realized that he wasn't going to be leading her. She went through the several hallways she was led through earlier, hoping that they would bring her to the front foyer. She was almost out when she heard her name called from one of the rooms. "Charlie?" she questioned, seeing the boy peeking out from behind a door.

"Come play with me please, (Y/N)," he asked her, a slight pout on his face. (Y/N) stayed in her spot as she thought about his ask. She really shouldn't be sticking around; her boss told her that she could leave. But the pout he wore was so damn convincing.

"I don't know, Charlie..." she trailed off, but the boy was already exiting the door and grabbing hold of her hand. "Charlie," she tried again as he started leading her back the way she'd just come. This couldn't turn out well.

"My playroom's back here," the boy stated as he continued leading her further into the house.

"What are you doing, Charlie?" the voice of the very person (Y/N) was afraid would see this happening spoke from the end of the hallway the boy'd just turned down.

"I'm taking (Y/N) to my playroom," Charlie responded.

"She needs to leave, son. She can't be stickin' 'round to play with you," Tommy told the two and a half year old.

"No one comes here now, dad," the boy was now pouting, his head dropped in defeat. (Y/N) couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"She needs to go back to work."

It was evident that Tommy wasn't going to change his stance, so (Y/N) turned to the boy before crouching to his level. "How 'bout I'll come over another time? We'll play then," she wagered with the boy, again making a promise she really couldn't keep. She hoped that maybe he'd forget about it in a few days.

"Ok," he said softly while shaking his head.

(Y/N) also nodded and smiled softly before she stood to look at her boss again. "I'm sorry, Mr. Shelby. I'll be leaving now," she told him, only glancing in his direction. She turned and left the hallway before either of the two Shelbys in it could say another word.

(Y/N) was just about ready to finish up for the day when she heard the door to the offices open. It was later in the afternoon, so she figured that her boss had returned from his business trip. "Mr. Shelby, you're..." she started speaking but then caught herself when she looked up to see just who had entered the office. She got the surname correct, but the person standing in the doorway was certainly not her boss. "Charlie?!" she practically exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"Hi, (Y/N)," the boy greeted with a smile, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary...like him being there was normal.

(Y/N), on the other hand, was freaking out. "How did you get here, Charlie?!" she asked as she stood from her desk and hurried over to him.

"I asked a driver to bring me," he gave another nonchalant answer.

"You shouldn't have come here. You're only two. You could have gotten hurt or taken or something," she started rambling, still internally freaking out over the fact that her boss' son had just shown up by himself. She was now checking all over his body to make sure that he wasn't hurt while he giggled at her actions.

"I'm going to be three soon," he told her between his giggles. (Y/N) couldn't help but let out a laugh at the boy's answer.

"That still doesn't give you the ability to go on long drives by yourself, Charlie," she tried to stress to him.

"I got lonely, (Y/N). Dad’s away and sometimes the ladies in the house don't even want to play with me. And you said you'd come over to play but you never did." The pout was back, and (Y/N) was already about to shatter under its weight.

There was a moment's pause before she let out a long sigh. "Ok, Charlie. How about I come over now? Huh? You wait here for a few more minutes while I finish up and then we'll go back to your house and play," she suggested, hoping the kid would go for the plan.

Charlie was nodding before she was even done speaking. "I'd like that," he told her, a smile on his face. (Y/N) let out a breath of relief before she ushered him over to one of the empty desks and gave him some paper to draw on while she finished the rest of her tasks.

The two left the office en route to Warwickshire in under a half hour, and for the entire car ride home, Charlie couldn't stop talking about the toys he wanted to show (Y/N) and the activities he wanted to do with her. (Y/N) couldn't help but smile. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Every day after Charlie arrived at the office in Small Heath, (Y/N) made sure to go to his house after she was finished working. The little boy was beyond thrilled to have a new playmate. According to him, the other ladies in the house played with him, but they never got down onto the floor or into the game that they were playing like (Y/N) did.

Today, Charlie had orchestrated a plan to act out a story with his stuffed animals. He was the horse, of course, and (Y/N) was given a small dog. In the story, Charlie's character was the savior, and (Y/N)'s was the one in danger.

"Oh Mr. Horse, please come down and save me!" (Y/N) exclaimed in a dramatic voice as she sat on the floor right next to the couch. The dog she had was laying on the ground, looking hopeless.

"I told you, (Y/N), my name is not Mr. Horse, it's Sir Orion the Savior!" Charlie corrected her, a bit of a glare on his face.

"Forgive me, Charlie, but that's a tough name to remember," (Y/N) responded while trying to hold back her giggles. Not only was it tough to remember, it was also funny to say.

"Just try to remember it," he settled and she nodded before making her animal reach out again. "Save me!"

"I'm coming, Fluffy!" Charlie called out, giggling as he said the name (Y/N) had chose for her character. He then hopped down from the couch to scoop up the dog in his arms and bring him back up to 'safety'. "There you go, ma'am. I've saved you," Charlie spoke through his character then, his voice now dropped down an octave as he tried to sound tough. It just made (Y/N) giggle.

"Oh thank you, Mr...."

"Sir."

"...Sir Orion the Savior!" she said while stifling giggles that stemmed from the child correcting her.

"You're welcome," Charlie chirped in his normal voice, a wide smile on his face.

Clapping came from the doorway of the sitting room before anything else could be said, and (Y/N) couldn't stop her cheeks from heating up as she looked over to see her boss standing there. The thought of him coming home while she was there hadn't crossed her mind for some reason, and she felt rather shy all of a sudden. She stood from the floor and smoothed out her dress in an attempt to make herself look presentable.

"Mr. Shelby, I...I'm here because Charlie..."

"That was a wonderful play you two put on. I only saw the end of it, but I enjoyed it nonetheless," Tommy cut her off as he walked into the room. He'd been watching them play from the doorway for several minutes, and he found a large part of himself wanting this to be what he came home to from now on. "You found yourself a new friend, eh, Charlie boy?" he asked the smiling child as he ruffled his son's hair.

"I did. (Y/N) loves to play with me. She never says 'no' to any of my ideas," Charlie beamed up at his father.

"Never?" Tommy emphasized the word, his eyes widening as he looked down at the boy. (Y/N)'s cheeks were getting redder by the second.

"Never," Charlie shook his head definitively before he smiled over at the woman they were talking about. "I like (Y/N)," he said then, his statement making (Y/N)'s heart swell despite how shy she was feeling.

"I like her too," Tommy agreed, his eyes also on her. The gaze he gave her made her want to shrink into herself.

"Mr. Shelby, I'm sorry that I came over your house without asking you first. It's just that Charlie showed up at the office one day saying he needed someone to play with and..."

"Stop," Tommy held his hand up before she could continue. "You don't need to explain yourself," he shook his head then.

"Charlie, time for bed," one of the maids then stuck her head into the room to call for the young boy.

He began to protest, but his father gave him a look. "Go," he told the boy softly before kissing him on the top of his head. Charlie then nodded and hopped off the couch, moving over to (Y/N) to hug her legs before he exited the room through the open door.

(Y/N) couldn't stop her heartrate from picking up as she found herself alone with her boss…who was still looking at her a certain way that made her want to implode. She wasn't supposed to have feelings for him, right?

Tommy was the first of the two to speak. “I’ve been fighting my feelings for you for some time now, (Y/N)...” he started, his sudden confession almost making (Y/N) choke on her spit, “I’ve been throwing myself into work and ignoring everything else. But I can’t let my feelings sit idle anymore.”

“I...I don’t know what to say, Mr. Shelby...” she trailed off when she realized that she didn’t have the proper words to address his statement.

“Well, I’d hope you’d say ‘yes’ to a dinner invitation,” was his next statement; his smooth way of asking her on a date.

“And if I say yes?” she raised an eyebrow, finding a bit of confidence.

“Then I’d be a happy man,” he admitted, the corner of his lips tugging upward.

“Then yes,” she affirmed, a smile on her face.

“Mr. Shelby, Miss (Y/N)...Charlie wants you to say goodnight to him,” the same maid that brought Charlie up to bed said as she entered the room again.

(Y/N) glanced over at Tommy, unsure if he’d want her to join him in something private like that. Even if the maid had included her name in the ask, she still felt like that was family business. Tommy didn’t seem to mind though. “Let’s go say goodnight to him, eh?” he suggested, a soft smile on his face. (Y/N) nodded her head and let him drop his hand to the small of her back so that he was able to lead her out of the room and up to Charlie’s bedroom.

Tommy would have never thought that a new beginning was right in front of him this entire time. Thankfully, his son was there to make him realize that he needed (Y/N) in his life.

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicalxdaydream @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @julyzaa

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x yn #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peakyxtommy #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine #fanfiction #fanfic

[blossom-hwa]

materializes on your blog's metaphorical doorstep hi lina :DD

can i get a uhhhh hanji best friends idiots to lovers au (where he thinks they've been dating for a while and get confused when mc confesses) ??

alright thanks lina :DD

- person who lives in ur walls

to the person living in my walls: please get out of there. it's really cold. at least let me give you a blanket. or accept this idiots to lovers au as a way to get warm idk it's so stupid and fluffy and everyone is an idiot so maybe it'll warm you up idk I'm rambling hope you enjoy

summertime drabble fest: send me an idol from the list (Stray Kids, Ateez, TXT, Seventeen) + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

REQUESTS OPEN!!

~

Title: Expectations, Complications

Pairing: Jisung x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 2.1k

Genre: fluff, a pinch of angst, best friends to lovers, university!au

Warnings: cursing

~

The minute Jisung hits play, you know you're fucked. 

Okay, no. Backtrack. Rewind. That's not where it starts—it's not even close. 

It starts in high school. Senior year, prom. No one asked you out, and no one asked Jisung, so you went with a crowd of your friends and their dates. You drank. You danced. You screamed and laughed and cried at the afterparty, and you ended up on the roof of the party house at four in the morning, drunk and giggly and Jisung's head on your shoulder. 

Still one of the best nights of your life, no contest. But it was in one of those moments, when you mumbled something incoherent and Jisung just giggled in response (before the two of you stumbled home together and spent the next morning nursing ridiculous hangovers in your respective houses), that you realized—that Jisung wasn't a friend. Not in the way you'd thought before, at least. That he was something else, something different, a friend and a thousand other things rolled into one—that you were fucked as hell for letting this happen. 

But no. Maybe not. Maybe it wasn't then. Not senior year, not prom, but when you finally got your driver's license in sophomore year and drove Jisung out to get boba at your favorite place for the first time. No need to ask a friend for a ride, no need to beg your parents to take you to get your stupid boba fix for the week. Just you, your parents' shittiest car, and Jisung in the passenger seat rolling down the familiar roads to the tiny little cafe, and then sweet drinks in hand with tapioca pearls chewy between your teeth as you watched Jisung laugh loud and hard, his eyes squinted against the afternoon sun. You didn't know, not then, but you did know. Somehow. You didn't but you did, and the image is burned into your mind and it's never once gone away. It never will. And that's how you know you're fucked. 

Except—it might not have been then. It could've been middle school, maybe. When someone kicked a soccer ball into your face and Jisung held your hand all the way to the tiny school clinic despite the fact that all middle schoolers thought holding hands was weird and gross. Or it could've been the summer before when you ran to the park together and jumped on the swings, rising higher, higher, higher into the air as the sun burned golden in the sky. Or maybe after the two week long fight you had (the longest one you've ever had, and you don't even remember what it was about) when you couldn't stand it anymore and decided to walk over to Jisung's house to apologize, only to swing open the door and find him on your doorstep first. 

It could have been anything. A thousand and one moments in time, spread out over the years that have passed. Elementary school, middle school, high school, your first years of college—boba stores, the mall in your hometown, the neighborhood park—it could have been anything. Any combination. But see, the point is—

It doesn't matter. 

It doesn't matter. None of it does. Not the exact day you knew, not the immediate second you realized, not the sheer length of time during which you've loved your best friend. Because you couldn't give an answer if someone asked, not to a single one of those questions, because with you, it's always been him. He's your beginning, your end. Your start, your finish. Everything you've ever known and wanted, everything you'll ever need. 

And so when Jisung hits play and the song he wrote for you begins playing through the headphones you bought him for his last birthday, you know. You've known all along, distantly, but now—

You know well and truly for certain that you are incredibly, irrevocably fucked. 

. . . . . There are tears in your eyes when the song finally ends and for a moment, Jisung's heart stops. Tears—what are they for? Happiness? Sadness? He didn't quite think that this song was—sad, per se, but maybe it was sadder than he thought, or too much too fast because after all you've only been dating for four weeks and five days—barely over a month—and god-fucking-damn-it now he's on the verge of hyperventilating because holy shit what if he just made the biggest mistake of his stupid twenty one years of life—

"I'm so sorry," he gasps out. 

You turn around in the chair to face him but he can't meet your eyes. "I'm sorry, it was probably such a shitty song, or like I shouldn't have let you hear it now—it's too early and you probably weren't ready I'm so so so so sorry—" 

"No!"

The sheer volume of that single word ends his rambling. Which is pretty impressive given that when Jisung is nervous, he tends to talk. And talk and talk and talk. Which is—bad. At least now. Because you're taking a deep breath, way too deep for you to be saying anything good in the next beat, but all Jisung can do now is hold his own breath and pray. 

Dear God, if you can hear me, I know I haven't been the best when it comes to believing in you and I'm still mad you didn't hear my prayers last semester right before my Calc II final, but if I've done even a single good thing in my life please don't make it so that I messed this up, not when it's barely been a month since I started dating Y/N.

"Jisung, I..." You take the headphones off, placing them carefully on the desk. Your fingers twist in your lap, a familiar nervous habit of yours that doesn't do much to quell the anxiety building in his throat. 

When you don't continue, Jisung opens his mouth. He can't help it. He needs to say something, anything, apologize again and pray that you'll help him forget this ever happened—

"I'm so sorry," you blurt out.

Jisung's heart drops. Shatters on the ground. I'm so sorry. He messed up, he messed up so bad—

"I'm sorry," you repeat, and your eyes are so shiny with tears it hurts. "I—I can't do this anymore."

He tries to speak. To move. Salvage something of this relationship. But nothing happens. Every muscle in him has frozen. 

"Jisung, I—" The tears start to spill. "I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I love you, I love you so much and I—it's not just as a friend—"

Wait. 

What?

"The song was beautiful." You're properly sobbing now, hands harshly wiping the tears from your eyes as you hunch over in the chair while Jisung still can't move. "Brilliant and lovely and I just—I can't. Because I know you just think we're friends—"

What the fuck. 

"—but I can't keep it in anymore, I can't keep just thinking of you as a friend because I love you, I've been in love with you for so long it hurts, and I—I won't be able to stand it if this song was just about our friendship because I—it would hurt too much—"

"Y/N."

Jisung's mouth moves without his brain telling it to. And to his surprise, you stop talking. He hadn't thought he'd quite spoken loud enough for you to hear. 

"I—Y/N." All the fear that's been building up since the start of your spiel melts away into pure confusion because—what the fuck? The two of you have been dating for a month now, four weeks and five days—he asked you to dinner and said "it's a date" and you didn't disagree, just smiled so widely and nodded—and he held your hand and you talked for hours and then he walked you to your dorm and—

"Haven't we been dating for a month already?"

You blink. Once. Twice. Three times. Silence stretches for a moment that seems way longer than just a moment, and then you finally open your mouth and utter a single word. 

"What?"

Oh, fuck. Now he's panicking. "I—I asked you out, right, like for dinner? A month ago? And then I said 'it's a date' and I—you said yes, I think if I haven't been hallucinating this whole time, and we got dinner and it was a date and then we kept going out—like to the amusement park last week? Just us? Were they—" And now for all his rambling a couple seconds ago, his voice dwindles to a whisper because his throat suddenly hurts and he's not going to be able to stand it if you say no—

"Were they not dates?"

Your mouth opens and closes. At least you've stopped crying, Jisung thinks helplessly. 

"I—I thought you meant that as a joke." Your voice is barely a whisper, hoarse and confused and god fucking damn it, Jisung really wants to hug you right now. "I thought—I mean, we get dinner together all the time, we do all these things together, I thought you were just being…normal?"

Oh dear. 

Oh fucking dear. 

"But it was just us two!" Jisung bursts out. You flinch. Oh, shit. Too loud. "Sorry," he apologizes, hunching into his shoulders. "But—I—it was just us two, all these times. Right?"

You blink about a million times again. "…Right."

"I meant them to be dates," Jisung says miserably. God, he's such a fuck up—how did he fail at asking you out this badly?

You swallow. Your throat bobs once, twice, a third time. "So we've been dating…this whole time?"

Jisung cringes. "I thought we were."

"Oh." You cringe too now, eyes riveted to your fingers twisting tightly in your lap. "Wow. I'm so stupid."

"No, I am." Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, then forces them open again. "Sorry. I should've been clearer—I mean, uh, assuming you still want to date, it's totally okay if you don't I guess—"

"No!"

Jisung freezes. No as in what? You don't want to date? You want to date? He shouldn't have been clearer? What—

"No," you repeat, voice softer now. "I—I really want to date you, Jisung. I really do." Your words are trembling but this time your gaze is steady. "I really, really want to. I'm just—I'm sorry I didn't realize it when you asked the first time."

Jisung laughs nervously. Scratches the back of his neck. "Well, uh, I probably could've asked better. More directly." He cringes. God, he's such a fucking embarrassment. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault I'm dense." You give him a little sheepish smile and Jisung nearly faints, it's so good to see a smile on your face after he just made you cry with a song. "Does that mean…this song…"

Ah. Yeah. "That was a song about you," Jisung says quietly. His ears are probably so, so red. "About how I…I really love you."

In your seat, you remain still for one moment, then two. Then, just as Jisung's about to start screaming out loud instead of just in his head because what if that was too much too soon too, you launch yourself off the chair and into his arms. 

"Oof."

"Sorry." Your lips move against his shoulder as his arms automatically slide around your waist, pulling you closer as he always has—since the day so many years ago when you decided to be best friends on the playground and sealed it with a hug. "I love you. A lot. And—" You take a deep breath, shaky in your throat but not with tears this time, just a little bit of a laugh. "I'm sorry I'm so stupid."

Slowly, slowly, Jisung's hand rises up your back. Comes to stop behind your head, holding you as close to him as he can. 

"It's okay," he murmurs, a smile finally beginning to curve his own lips. I love you so much. "And, uh. Don't worry." He cringes into you, but it doesn't feel so bad now. Not when he's pressed against your warmth this time and can feel your smile against his shoulder. "I'm a little stupid, too."

#stray kids #skz #jisung #han #han jisung #stray kids jisung #stray kids han #skz han #stray kids jisung scenarios #stray kids han scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids jisung x reader #han jisung x reader #skz han x reader #skz x reader #skz han scenarios #stray kids han x reader #drabble #fluff #angst #university!au #cw cursing #expectations complications #summertime drabble fest #lina answers #chip 🍪 #blossom-hwa

[spicyspiders]

sickly fluorescent

this probably won’t be my last story for 001, he’s so fine. if you have any requests for him or any guys from stranger things (really steve or eddie) feel free to send them! spoilers for stranger things season 4

Living at the lab sucks. It really fucking sucks. Living with a group of little kids, having a number of experiments done on a daily basis, and being surrounded by the same four walls every single day was miserable. 

From the three reasons listed, being experimented on was the worst. Having to extend and push your powers everyday to the point to where your nose was bleeding and your head ached made it that you dreaded when they would come pull you out of bed every morning. 

They. The workers at Hawkins. They varied. Some were mean, some were nice, and some would always have a look of pity in their eyes that would make you squirm. Mr. Ballard was different, but so was Mr. Brenner. Papa, that’s what all the other patients called him, but you refused. For one, you were an adult, and didn’t want to call a man other than your father papa. Second, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of calling Dr. Brenner by that name. 

“Are you alright?” Mr. Ballard asked, pulling you from your thoughts. “You look angry,” your bedroom door shut with a soft click as the worker stepped deeper into the room. You weren’t sure if the workers were allowed in your room like this, but you didn’t really care to follow by their rules. After you found out about your powers, you learned about this facility, almost as if through magic, and voluntarily joined. Even though you joined on your own fruition, something was forcing you to stay. Every time you thought of leaving, you would begin to feel bad, like a poison had entered your system. 

“I’m fine, Mr. Ballard.”

The other man chuckled softly, “I told you to call me Peter,” his voice was soft and comforting. When you entered the facility, his voice quickly became a comfort to you. It had been months since you had been physically touched that wasn’t an aggressive handling from one of the other workers, so you would take all the comfort you would get. 

“Peter,” you looked up into his eyes, the hue a sickly blue color under the ugly artificial light of the facility, “I am fine.”

He smiled softly down at you before reaching into his pocket. You didn’t expect him to pull out a white handkerchief, which matched the stark witness of the color he, and what most of the other workers wore. The cloth was soft against your skin as he rubbed it under your nose. The realization of what he was wiping hit like a truck when he pulled the cloth away, now stained red with your blood. 

“You let me walk around like that?” 

Peter chuckled again, this time louder, the sound almost filling up the entire space of your room. “Not anymore I’m not,” he responded. You watched as his delicate fingers folded the cloth into a small square. 

You felt your heart suddenly pick up in your chest. You licked your lips, your eyes still on his fingers, “do you think It’ll be different?” You weren’t sure what you were truly asking, but the question left your mouth before your brain could catch up. 

Peter wrapped a warm hand around your arm before running it down your arm. You felt the hairs on your arm stand up in the wake of the other man’s hand. He lifted your hand up into the air between your bodies before he pressed the folded cloth into your open palm. 

“It will be,” Peter said fiercely, “because you’re special.” 

Your mouth felt dry, and you licked your lips again, Peter’s eyes tracking the movement, “when will it be different?” You whispered.     

“Soon. You must be ready,” Peter’s gaze was intense and it made you shiver under the intensity of it. 

Peter left quietly. His words plagued your mind for a long time after he left. It lasted days. The only thing that broke the cycle of thought was when an alarm began to blare throughout the facility. It made you feel like a little boy again as you pressed yourself into one corner of your room, hoping that whatever was happening would seemingly pass you by. 

You could feel your powers expand around you without your control, it made the room feel heavy with a weight that felt like it had you anchored to the floor. You held your breath when you could hear your door-handle rattle, your powers pressing out in front of you in defense. Your breath then left you all in a quick gasp when the door opened to Peter. 

“It’s time,” he held his hand out in front of him. 

You pulled yourself up on shaky legs and laid your hand onto his. “Whose blood-” you tried to ask, noticing the blood that dotted the front of his uniform. 

He cut you off before you could get the question out, “No more experiments, no more doctors,” he was suddenly in your space, closer than he had ever been before, two warm hands cupping your face, “I’ll never let them touch you again.” The kiss stole your breath when his lips pressed down onto yours. It was a bruising, intense kiss that made your head spin. “It’s time to go,” he whispered when the kiss ended.

#x male reader #stranger things x male reader #001 x male reader #peter ballard x male reader #henry creel x male reader

[pankowperfection]

Tease

Summary: JJ can't stand to watch you tease him anymore

Warnings: smut, oral (fem and male receiving)

A/N: something a little different, written from JJ's POV

I swear she's teasing me on purpose. Sitting on her beach towel, long legs crossed so the crotch of her tiny excuse of a bikini is barely covering anything. Tits nice and perky in the small piece of fabric covering them, bouncing every time she moves or laughs. My cock had been hard in my trunks ever since I saw her this morning, hot pink bikini making her somehow look more tan and even more beautiful. Then she goes and asks me to rub her sunscreen onto her back. "Can you help me J, please?" she rolls over onto her stomach, untying her top so the strings aren't in the way. Jesus Christ I'm gonna end up cumming in my fucking pants. "Yeah, sure y/n." I take the bottle from her, trying to think of anything else other than how her body feels beneath my hands. Then she goes and fucking moans as I'm rubbing the lotion into her shoulders. My dick twitched at the sound as I silently curse my lack of self control.

When I finish I quickly stand up, grabbing my board and heading to into the waves to cool off, praying that surfing will make my raging hard on go away. It works for a while, mind and body slipping into muscle memory as I ride wave after wave. When I start to get hungry I head back to the group, planning to down a beer and a sandwich while avoiding y/n. That's when I realize I'm in deep trouble. There she is, eating a popsicle as sexually as possible. Maybe my mind is playing with me, yeah that has to be it. Her eyes lock on mine before she slowly licks up the flavored ice, then sinks it into her mouth. When she pulls it back out she winks at me before swirling her tongue around the entire length. My dick is hard as steel AGAIN. She's definitely doing this on purpose. "That's it," I almost yell, startling our friends as I grab y/n's hand and pull her towards the Twinkie. "JJ what are you doing?" she struggles to keep up with me, looking back over her shoulder to see everyone staring at us.

As soon as we get to the van I spin her around, pressing her back into the door as I lean in. "Don't act like you don't want me. You've teased me all day. See what you caused?" I press my hips forward, cock rutting into her stomach as she lets out a gasp. Her tiny hands land on my chest, not pushing me away so I take that as a win. I lean down and kiss the hell out of her, tangling my hands in her hair as I push my tongue into her mouth. She moans against my lips and I swear I just got even harder. Her hand trails down over my abs, the feeling sending shot of pleasure through my veins. She wraps her pretty little fingers around my length and starts stroking me and I can't help but moan.

I manage to open the door, shoving her back onto the seat as I follow her down. The next thing she says almost does me in. "J, let me taste you. Please?" Literally music to my ears. "Sure sweetheart, how could I say no to that?" I give her my best grin before trading places, laying down as she kneels between my legs. She quickly unties by trunks, freeing my aching cock as I let out a sigh of relief. She gives me a few strokes before leaning down, lapping the tip with her hot little tongue and I'm already seeing stars. She sucks me down to the hilt, letting me slide down her throat as her nose hits my pelvis. My hands fist into her hair, holding it out of the way so I can watch her work. When she starts bobbing her head up and down, tongue teasing the underside of my shaft as she hollows out her cheeks, I know I won't last very long. "Shit princess, don't stop. Feels so good." She fucking moans with my dick in her mouth and its game over, vibrations making my balls tighten, hot ropes of cum shooting into her throat. She swallows it all, licking me clean before pulling back with a smile. "Fuck y/n, you'll be the death of me." She giggles before crawling up my body, pressing her lips to mine.

I quickly flip us over, trailing my mouth down her neck and stopping to suck a huge bruise into her sweet spot as she moans beneath me. I rip off her bikini top, lavishing each nipple with my tongue before continuing down her body. When I reach her bottoms she attempts to thrust her hips up into my face, desperate for some attention. "My needy girl," I chuckle before untying the sides, exposing her bare pussy to me. She's so wet her skin is glistening and God I can't wait to taste her. I blow some air out over her clit, making her moan and her hands tangle in my hair. I dive straight in, tongue sliding into her hole and groaning at the taste. "Fuck J," she yanks my hair particularly hard and I moan again, dick already stirring back to life. I lap at her clit, flicking it up and down with my tongue as I easily slide two fingers inside. Her back arches when I start to pump them in and out, matching the rhythm of my tongue. I suck on her clit, pulling back slightly before letting it go and she stifles a scream by biting her lip. I repeat the motion over and over until she's suffocating me with her thighs, soaking my face with her release as she grinds her pussy against my mouth. Her body shakes as I continue to lick her afterwards, pleasure too intense but I'm determined to lick her clean. She finally shoves my face away, so I kiss up her stomach and back to her face before our lips meet again. We both fix our swimsuits back into place, heading back to the beach hand in hand. Before we make it back to the group I pull her to a stop. "My place tonight for round two?" She winks and blows me a kiss before walking over to the cooler to grab a beer. God I love this girl.

Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist

@adventuresinobx @starkeyobx @hoebx @ailee-celeste @pankowforlife @outerbankspov @houseofperfecttaste @vesperluvsbillie @smokingbeersdrinkingweed @my-baexht-ls

#obx smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #obx #smut #jj maybank imagine

[joelsgreys]

Hi, hon. I know there isn't a lot I can say that will ultimately mean much against the storm of your mind. Speaking from experience, I know self hate and depression is one of the most difficult things to pull yourself out of. It is fucking miserable. But also speaking from experience, growing to love yourself is one of the most beautiful things to go through. Trying, at times, yes, but fuck, so beautiful. Slowly, things start to get better until one day you can look at yourself and realize who you actually are---away from all the negative voices and thoughts no different than claws tearing at your skin.

I know it is really hard right now, but in this mess of a world where all we hear are the bad endings to these things, I want you to know it does get better. As someone who once didn't want to wake up in the morning, and begged for everything to just be over, I really need you to stick in there. It takes fighting, but there is a way out, and it goes away. Focus on you. Write for you if it keeps away the spiral, but don't if it makes it worse. Fuck everyone on here, this is your space. This is a place where you can come and release, scream into an abyss, whatever brings an ounce of relief. Use it.

I know I don't know your situation, and only you know the depths of what you feel. But we are here to sit with you, to tell you we see you. We know. We care.

cw: vent

I got this ask after making my last post and hooo boy did it open the flood gates. The fact that you even took the time to send me this…and that you were so open and transparent about your own struggles with just not wanting to wake up in the mornings…like I’m just in so much pain anon. and people who I used to be good friends with haven’t been anywhere in sight, whether I’m happy or sad, they’ve been long gone whether it’s because I just don’t fit in with them anymore or they’re too good for me, I don’t know but god it’s only been adding to the pain and I haven’t been able to post about it because I don’t want to stir up shit but maybe that’s why this has all been hitting me so hard as well

because people I care about and who I used to be close with? they don’t even bat an eye towards me anymore and that makes the negative voices in my head speak louder

obviously this goes beyond just online, in real life I’ve been struggling so much too and this was my happy place and now that it’s not my happy place I’m just facing the hurt of everything at the same time and god it sucks so so bad and I want it all to stop

but at the same time I don’t want to be ungrateful because I’ve had so much support from so many other wonderful people. And then I have amazing nons like you dropping in with the most wise and encouraging words

I know you’re right. I know it deep in my soul that things will get better and I know I have to focus on me and loving myself and being nice to myself and just allow myself to do what I want, write what I want and enjoy my space

it’s just so hard

also sorry for just kind of unleashing all this, I’ve just been carrying so much on my heart and I really needed to put it down

#tw vent #cw vent

[itsclydebitches]

OFMD Party Drabble #6

Prompt: Man vs. Self

Yes I’m still doing this series WHO CAN STOP ME MUHAHAHA anyway here’s Part One and Two.

Edward was his own worst enemy and after thirty years of putting up with the fucker’s nonsense, Izzy was this close to strangling him.

Of course, he’d been saying that for thirty years, so.

Just text him you absolute, utterly deranged sHITSTAIN

Izzy’s fingers flew across the keyboard of his phone. To his left a woman with a baby snuck a look at his ill-tempered texting, whatever expression he’d contorted his face into, and determinedly stood to find another seat. Izzy pressed ‘send’ with the vicious satisfaction of a warrior descending with his sword.

The reply was immediate:

thats not a nice way to talk to your boyfriend :(

YOU’RE NOT GONNA HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND ANYMORE IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME, EDWARD

you dont mean that 😭😭😭 i just dont know what to say!!! i mean shit Iz he’s a fancy-pants museum curator and i’m slinging burgers all day. how the fuck do i even start that conversation? ‘hi hello i know Iz and he says youre cute wanna go on a fucking date with us’?????

Izzy resisted the urge to lean forward and bash his head against the pole. He didn’t even know where to begin with that. The fact that Edward had never lacked words in his entire, chatty life? That his job was far from just ‘slinging burgers,’ given that Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill was a multi-award winning restaurant with a Food Network spot and a legion of devoted customers? That Izzy had not once, ever, said that Bonnet was cute?

The fact that ‘disgustingly adorable’ might have been a better descriptor was entirely beside the point.

Originally, Izzy had intended to text Bonnet himself, act as the bridge between him and Edward’s rather... unique personality — though he suspected that these two were weird enough that they’d get along like a house on fire. He’d cooled his heels for a day after that absurd miscommunication, got wrapped up in running the restaurant, and then by the time the weekend had rolled around, Edward had decided that he wanted to reach out himself. Great! Less work for Izzy to do.

Except then the idiot had decided he was too chicken to pull it off, leaving them in a weird fucking limbo where Izzy vaguely feared for his life. That Lucius boy might just have been insane enough to follow through on his threats and that was not the kind of Wednesday morning Izzy was looking to suffer through.

Yes, he texted back. Say that exactly.

Iz i can’t say that!!

Sure you can. Put me out of my misery, Edward.

so mean. meanest. meanie. mean-pants :( :( :(

Actually, he should just screenshot all this and send it to Bonnet. Either he’d would fall hopelessly in love with the man like, god help him, Izzy had, or he’d run for the proverbial hills. At this point either option sounded wonderful.

Fuck, but he needed more coffee.

Izzy was just considering whether it was worth getting off a stop earlier and walking the rest of the way to work so he could stop by Ivan’s cafe when a thread of conversation — previously indistinguishable from the rest of the tube’s background noise — hit him like a fucking freight train.

“Hasn’t changed a bit! Wee Baby Bonnet looks like he’s ready to piss his pants...”

Izzy shut his eyes. Surely the world wasn’t populated by acquaintances of Stede Fucking Bonnet, all of whom ended up on his morning route? That was insane. Incomprehensibly annoying. Izzy hadn’t exactly been a saint throughout his life, but did he really deserve this?

Then again, how many people in the city had a predominantly French surname that, depending on its origin, might just derive from a synonym of ‘attractive’?

Sometimes he fucking hated his linguistics degree.

The man who’d spoken sat across from Izzy, just a few seats down, and after a double-take he realized that he didn’t need his eyes checked (again), they were just identical twins. Smarmy looking guys if you asked him, but then Izzy couldn’t exactly throw stones when it came to appearances.

He should ignore it. Really he should. Edward was waiting for a response, Ivan’s coffee was calling, and if he got off now there might even by a blueberry muffin in his future.

Ignore it, Izzy told himself firmly. Just leave, take the scenic route for once —

— and then the cries of ‘Baby Bonnet’ grew louder, accompanied by laughter that was too familiar to ignore.

Izzy closed his eyes and cursed. You sentimental twat.

“Hey.”

The twins looked up, the mirth dying in the face of Izzy’s expression and — while not towering figure — definitely threatening as they sat and he stood, leaning menacingly into their space. So he couldn’t discourage a flirty asshole half his age, but he could still intimidate some identical goons. Good to know.

“Lemme see,” Izzy said and snatched the phone before either could protest. Sure enough, there was Stede, those curls and a bright blue suit — good god with teal lapels? — absolutely unmistakable, even as whoever was filming shook with laughter of their own. It looked like Stede was getting reamed out by some visitor, his hands held up in awkward surrender, protests inaudible against the woman’s yelling. The video ended when she threw whatever was in her takeaway cup across Stede’s shirt. He stumbled back, landing on his ass — hands flying up towards his eyes. Whatever it was had been hot.

What a waste of a good drink. Thank god the suit was ruined.

Izzy wanted to bash that woman’s head in.

He kept his expression neutral as he handed the phone back, the twins sharing wary glances.

“You know that idiot?” Izzy asked — and the smiles bloomed again, identical.

That was all he needed.

“Oh yeah,” the one on the left said, digging himself a deeper hole. “Baby Bonnet was in prep with us. Total fucking pushover.”

“Thought he’d be dead by now,” the one on the right picked up. “Or committed somewhere. Ran him off of Facebook a few years ago, he dropped off the map, but then this gem popped up on Reddit — ”

“I’m sorry,” Izzy interrupted. He removed his jacket and laid it carefully over a nearby seat. The black shirt underneath was rolled to the elbows.

“Sorry?” they echoed.

“Not you,” Izzy sneered. He quickly caught the gaze of everyone else in the car, their attention drawn to the growing electricity in the air. The woman with the baby sighed and got up to leave. Izzy inclined his head at her retreating back.

Then he slammed his fist into the first twin’s nose.

They even went down the same, all bloody spurts and pathetic whimpers. Izzy might not have been as young as he once was, but it would take a lot more than these weak fucks to provide a challenge. Back-alley brawls and two decades of fencing had given him the reflexes of a cat and Izzy’s blood sang at the whoop of approval a few seats down. That’s why he was doing this. It was good to expend the energy on occasion.

It had absolutely nothing to do with Bonnet’s stricken expression in the vid.

When he was done and the twins had fled, with very pretty pictures painted for them about what would happen if the cops got involved, Izzy dabbed his knuckles with an old napkin and rearranged his clothes. The dude who’d whooped finished recording — because everyone recorded everything nowadays, the fucking degenerates — and shot him a small, hesitant smile. Izzy whistled him over.

“Send that to me,” he said, rattling off his number.

Izzy had long since passed his stop, but that was okay. If he was going to be late, might as well be late with a halfway decent breakfast. As he re-planned his route, Izzy attached the vid for Edward, easily imaging the glee on his face when he saw it.

“Had worse mornings,” Izzy acknowledged, pulling up his texts.

Stop being a self-sabotaging twat, you TWAT. Send this to Bonnet with my regards. If we can fight for him, we can sure as fuck invite him to dinner.

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #GentleHands #SteddyHands #OFMD Party #OFMDfic

[they-reap-what-we-sow]

6x07 promo speculation

on ao3 | 1.5k | M | Buddie

Buck woke with a low groan, face down in his bed with his blankets kicked away. Even in the low chill of the November air, he was flushed with heat as he lay there, panting in the aftermath of the dream that he'd been luxuriating in. He'd come to rocking against his pillow, which had migrated between his legs, and his shorts were sticky with precome as he gingerly pulled himself upright. It had been four weeks since he'd tried to abstain from getting himself off, and it was starting to get to him. 

His dream tonight was nothing new, but without being able to take care of himself now, it was torture to see the imprint of Eddie crawling over him and shoving his dick down Buck's throat. Buck swallowed, and swore he could still feel Eddie pressed deep inside him.

His dick twitched at the thought, and Buck shuddered as the feeling vibrated up and down his spine. If he kept this up, he would fail so much faster than he wanted, and it would be a waste of so much of his energy. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, but the early morning light was already bleeding into his loft through the wall of windows. Deciding to distract himself from his thoughts instead of trying to go back to sleep, Buck picked his way across his bedroom, pulling off his dirty shorts to trade in for a pair of new boxers, hissing as the cold air hit his sensitive dick for a second. 

Picking up his phone before jogging down his stairs, Buck decided to try and work out his jittering energy with a couple extra rounds of calisthenics instead. His notifications were cluttered with mentions on his social media, but Buck filtered through them until he found the ones that he was looking for. A couple late-night pictures of Jee from a tired Maddie, Hen confirming their brunch plans for the weekend, and- there was a voice message from Eddie. 

Buck froze in his tracks and immediately put his phone to his ear, his thumb finding itself in his mouth as he gnawed nervously at his finger. 

The time stamp read 3:27am, which is not a time that Eddie should be awake to send him messages, or awake at all anymore. Eddie'd told him about his sleepless nights after he had left the 118- and it sent a ripple of fear through Buck at the thought that Eddie might be suffering again. 

But the voice that spoke into his ear wasn't weak or upset or tear-choked - no, Eddie's voice was raspy and deep and slow and Buck felt his knees weaken as the sound of Eddie's tired, roughened voice crawled through his ears. 

"Hey- hey, Buck. I hope this doesn't wake you or anything but I just- I was thinking and I realized that- well, I don't wanna get into this over the phone, but I need to talk to you. Call me when you get a chance, or uh- I'll just talk to you at the station. Okay, um, I'll see you later, love you, bye- wait, shit, fuck, how do I delete this? Oh god, I knew I shouldn't have don't this without Christopher- Buck do not freak out, please, just talk to me-" 

Buck had to grab at the island to stay upright as he registered what Eddie had said to him. He tried helplessly to process the way his tension had ratcheted when Eddie told him he wanted to talk, the way that his heart had stopped completely when he'd heard those words, and then the way everything settled at the sharp tone Eddie had commanded him to relax in. It was easy to instinctively pull his phone away and hit the call button, jiggling his leg anxiously as he waited for the other end of the line to open.

“Buck- what's wrong? Are you okay?" Eddie asked as soon as he picked up, and Buck's thoughts fled him entirely, leaving only one thing behind. 

"You love me?" Buck hated how small and desperate his voice sounded. 

"Yes," Eddie replied immediately, all traces of sleep wiped from his voice. "I love you so much, Buck. And I think I've loved you all along, it just took me a while to realize." His voice was so eager and sincere that Buck could feel it in his bones, shuddering through his body and settling into his heart. 

"I- what made you tell me today?" He asked, heart pounding with excitement. 

"God, Buck-" Eddie laughed sheepish and soft, "It was a dream. I literally woke up from a dead sleep to call you about it and I totally messed up." 

"No! No, you didn't mess up, I was just- you had a dream?" Buck asked carefully, wary to press too hard, but his curiosity won over. "Yeah..." Eddie's voice dropped even further. "And it wasn't even a wet dream like it usually is."

Buck swallowed heavily, throat dry and boxers tented yet again. "Like usual?" he asked, voice almost a whisper. 

"I haven't gone a night without dreaming of you in months now, Buck. Of your hands, your body, your mouth. I can't close my eyes without seeing you under me, beneath me, inside me." Buck could barely hear Eddie's voice over his desperate whine, and his hand shot to grab his dick, hunching over himself. 

"Buck?" Eddie asked. "Are you-" 

Buck's voice was torn with desperate arousal when he called out, "Eddie".

"Please-" Buck didn't even know what he wanted, but his dick ached and his vision almost blurred with want. 

"Buck, do you like hearing about how much I want you? Do you wanna hear about how I want to ride you until you forget anything but my name? Do you want me to tell you how badly I want to get on my knees in front of you and worship you so you know exactly how perfect I think you are?” Eddie drawled, his voice dropping into a register and timbre that shot directly to Buck’s dick.

Buck gasped raggedly, "Eddie, I can’t- Eds please-".

"Do you want to watch the way I get off after I wake up from a dream where you bend me over the railing in your loft and make me come over and over again?" Eddie asked, a coy smile now creeping into his voice as he realized the state he'd made of Buck. 

"God, Eddie. Can you please-" 

“Anything Buck, just ask." Eddie swore, and somehow Buck knew that the promise was meant for more than just this moment. 

"Can you- tell me to stop Eddie? Tell me that I can't come. Eddie please please please just tell me what to do. I don't want to come, make me stop Eddie, baby, please." Buck scarcely knew what he was saying anymore. All he could remember was that he wasn't supposed to come, but he wanted to do what Eddie wanted, whatever Eddie wanted. 

There was a long silence, and Buck wondered if maybe he'd gone too far. Maybe he had asked for too much and Eddie would hate him and he would lose everything he loved most- 

"Okay." 

Oh. Buck loved Eddie so much. 

"Don't come, Buck. You want to be good for me, don't you?" His voice was even and felt like molten steel through his body and Buck wanted nothing more than to feel it burn across his body.

"Eddie I'm so close, it's too much, oh god. Eds please I can't-" Buck begged, knowing that he just needed a final push to make it back to safety. 

"I want you to stop, Buck. I want you to hold onto it for me, can you do that? Can you relax? I don't want you to come, got it Buck?" Eddie ordered, and Buck felt himself slump down, like all the tense strings cut at once, erasing any desire he felt to get off. 

The need to feel pleasure was replaced by how good it felt to do what Eddie wanted, and beyond a low background ache that he'd gotten used to, Buck finally felt stable.

"Buck?" Eddie questioned carefully, and it took him a long minute to catch his breath enough to respond. 

"I’m- I'm good, Eddie. I'm so good, I'm perfect, you're perfect. I love you so much." Buck babbled, the endorphins racing through his brain making him a bit loopy with satisfaction. 

Eddie groaned, long and loud. "Oh god Buck you're killing me here. Lemme call you back sweetheart, I literally just need a minute-" 

"Stay-" 

"What?" 

Buck cleared his throat nervously, but he repeated himself, "Let me hear you? Please?" 

Before Eddie could respond, Buck kept going, "I was good for you, right? I just wanna know I was good for you, I deserve it, please Eddie, please?" 

Waiting for Eddie to say something was almost torturous. Buck could feel the nerves creeping into his body. His heart thundered so loudly in his ears he could feel each beat hammer against his skin, hot and flush with stressful anticipation. 

Buck heard the obvious click of a bottle before Eddie responded again, "You, Evan, are going to be the death of me."

#911 show #911 on fox #911 fanfic #buddie #911 6x07 #evan buckley #Eddie diaz #buddie fanfic #krowabbey

[lover-i-lover]

Memories

As Nico and I settle into bed, I'm twisting and turning way more then usual. I can hear Nico snoring beside me, and I try not turn onto him. I've been up since 5 this morning, so I stupidly thought that I won't have trouble falling asleep. After a rather harsh turn, Nico stops snoring. Fuck. "Jacey?" He asks groggily. I twist on my side to look at him in the darkness of night. "Mhm" I murmur, my head starting to ache in the not surprisingly hot Zeus cabin. "What's-" He start, a yawn cutting him off. "Up?" he asks, snuggling to keep his eyes up. "I can't sleep" I mutter out. A sleepy Nico shuffles closer and tucks himself into my body, wrapping his arms around my hips. "Bed" He murmurs into my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. "Could you lay differently?" I ask, holding Nico helps but I find sleeping a lot easier with a weight on top of me. He makes a sound of agreement. "Up?" He asks, detangling himself from me to resettle where I want him. "Yes please" I say. My tired boyfriend moves onto top of me, getting comfortable with his head in my neck. He rests his hands on my shoulders and hums into my neck. Sending another shudder down my back. The very last bit of stress is pressed out of me as he rests his body on mine. Nico is maybe ten kg smaller then me, but that's still enough weight to keep me down and calm. With Nico sleeping on me, I can't twist and turn anymore. I feel a lot safer sleeping with Nico. My body grows heavy, and I fall into a deep sleep.

Next thing I know, I'm back at Camp Jupiter, at my first training. They expected so much of me, I was Jupiter's son, I had to know how to fight. When I didn't take to it right away, everyone was disappointed. The sword drops from my hand and the other kids my age laugh and point. I remember running away in tears. I hid away into my bunk, crying under the covers. Then I'm thirteen again, standing in front of the whole camp, I'm holding a speech. The same speech the older campers always wanted me to repeat. I remember that standing there, on that stage, and just feeling the weight of the world settling on my shoulders. It was the first time I realized that no matter what I said or did, I would always be a son of Jupiter first, and a person second. I still feel that way a lot of the time. Never with Nico though. Nico treats me like a person, which is a low bar. But I have to admit, that's what made me fall for him, he actually cared about me, my feelings and my hobbies. Guess I'm just a sucker for anyone who treats me like person. The image changes again, I'm running into the forest at Camp Jupiter. I don't quite remember this. I'm, maybe eight. Crying, I climb up in a tall tree. What happened? I don't recall this at all. Everything else has been memories, why isn't this? A couple boys come running into the forest, their face are blurred and almost non existing. They all look around for me and yell for me to come. What is this even? I'm hiding in the treetop. There's something on my face, it that blood? Why is there blood on my nose? Did I get hurt? Did I fall? Did they do that? Fear sets in and my blood runs cold. All of a sudden, I lose my footing. This is a memory. Fuck how did I forget. I brace for the impact, but there's nothing. The forest is completely quiet. The boys are starring at up at me. I peel my eyes up and a shook of fear runs through my body. I'm floating in mid-air, legs curled up with my arms up around my ears. I hold back a scream and grab for a branch. I cultch my hands around it, and for some reason, I stay afloat. The time I figured out I could fly. The five boys run from me screaming. Gravity takes hold and I fall. I try to hold onto tree, but the branch is too fragile, and it snaps with the strain of my weight. I crash to the ground, the second my face hits the dirt.

I startle up in bed. Nico's rolled off me sometime during the night. My chest's tight, I can't breathe, it's like my throat is closing. I wrap my arms around myself, hands steady on my bare shoulders. I bury my head into my crossed arms. My heartbeat is drumming in my ear. It feels like I just ran from one end of camp to the other. I only notice that I've been rocking back and forth when I feel the blanket on the end of bed touch my legs. Fuck. I glace over to the alarm clock on my nightstand. 4:35, you have got to be kidding me. I have to be up in two hours. The sun is already slowly rising, making the sky a light yellow that fades to blue. "Fuck" I mumble sniffling. Warm tears roll down my cheeks. Through my blurry vison I look over at Nico, he's peacefully sleeping. Should I? I shouldn't. I wipe away the tears. Just because I woke up doesn't he has to get up as well. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, getting out of bed as quietly as I can. There's a cold sweat running down my back, I'm shivering. As I pull a hoodie over my head. I spot a window open, I didn't open any window. Maybe Nico opened it. I can go outside in sweatpants, right? Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I slip on my shoes, stopping by the door to hear if Nico's sleeping. There's a small, gentle snoring. Thank the gods I didn't wake him.

The door creaks a little as I open it. Just as I close it, I realize that leaving maybe isn't the best idea. If I go on a walk, and Nico wakes up, he won't know where I am, and then I'll get an earful for not telling him or leaving a note. Nico worries a lot, but I don't mind, most of the time anyway. I'm not going back inside, I need some air. I throw myself down the steps of the Zeus cabin. I guess I'll just sit here for a while. I breath in the sweet morning air. My heartbeat slowly returns to normal. Even though I know it was only a memory, the fear has settled deep in my stomach. More tears fight to fall, and I give up. I lay my head on my knees, the tears rolling down and soaking into the soft fabric. Fucking shit. I sniffle, wrapping my arms around my legs to stay stable. At least no one else is awake to see me like this. I hiccup, damn it. I rock a bit, trying to calm my nerves. I sniffle again and lift my head, dragging my sleeve over my wet eyes. I hear a small creaking behind me, did I not close the door properly? There's a small hand on my shoulder. I twist my head to look at him. A half sleep Nico is standing behind me without a shirt on. "What's wrong?" He yawns, tangling his hand into my hand. "Just a, bad dream. Bad memoires" I shallow down the cold worry that had set in my throat. He gently tugs my head up, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I'm sorry honey" He ruffles my hair then lets go. His sweet voice makes the fear in my stomach disappear. Another tear presses past my eye, and Nico's soft hand reaches down and wipes it away. "Come back to bed, it's too earlier" He pleads. I nod and push myself of the steps. As I stand facing Nico, he reaches up and slings his arms around my neck. He leans up and snuggles his head against my neck. "You'll be okay" He whispers and kisses my cheek. He gets down and laces his hand with mine. He pulls me back inside.

Sniffling, I close the door behind me. "Sorry" I mutter. "Don't you dare be" He yawns again, he never gets up this early. I've had to get up at four a couple of time, I'm a little mere use to it. A sleepy Nico spins me around to the side of the bed. "I love you" He murmurs pulling me in for a hug. I let myself sink into his arms, not bothering to hold back the tears. I mumble the same words back to him, but I don't think he can understand a word that comes out of my mouth. "You're okay" He whispers running his hand up my back. I sniffle, my nose is all stuffed up. A very tired Nico sits down on the edge of the bed, he gently tugs at my waist. I take the cue, shifting down with my legs on either side of him. His warm arms wrap around my middle. I cry into his shoulder, my tears rolling down his chest. "What was it about?" He asks, twisting a hand in my hair. "I, I-" I shake my head against his shoulder. I can't, it's too much. "Okay Honey, it's okay, I got you" He murmurs, gently running a hand up my back. He plays with my hair as we sit in the silence of an early morning. After maybe twenty minutes of straight up sobbing on his shoulder. I try to talk, but it's childlike babbling through even more tears. "Baby" He pleads, gentle hands pulling my head from his shoulder my cheeks. "You don't have to talk, okay?" He says wiping my tears with his thumb. "If you want, of course you can. But if it's only upsetting you more, then you don't have to, okay? I know it's hard" He reassures, leaning in and resting his forehead against mine. Tears roll down my chin, I whimper and throw my arms around my neck. We sit here for gods know how long. By the time I stop crying, the has risen into the morning sky, and my head is being spilt in half by a headache. "Come on, you need some sleep" Nico pats my back. Through still slightly blurry eyes I glace over at my alarm clock. Fuck, I can't. It almost 6 : 35, I have to get up soon anyway. "I, I can't" My voice is hoarser then I've ever heard myself sound. "I've class soon" I sniffle, I clear my throat and it hurts. "No, No you don't" Nico shakes his head, tugging me closer to him. "You didn't fall asleep until one this morning, and you been up since when? Four? " "4:35, I'm fine I should-"

"No" He says, getting a bit stern with me. "Bed" "Nico plea-" "No. You make me sleep after a night like this. You are going back to bed" He insists. I sigh, he's right. I do. Guess there's no way out of this. I'll tell Chiron later. "Could I have some water first?" I ask, wiping my runny nose on my sleeves. "Of course" He mumbles. I move off his lap and look for the bottle of water I brought back from dinner last night. I find it on my desk and down the half empty bottle. It feels like my head is being spilt open on sizzling asphalt. As I shallow the last bit, the tiredness takes it's troll on me and I stumble to my dresser. Nico's walking around, drawing the brand-new curtains he had the Hephaestus cabin install here so that I didn't have to walk to his cabin every time I have a migraine. I throw my now dirty hoodie off, it's covered in tears and snot. I dump it into my laundry basket and find a new one to wear. "Do you, want a shirt?" I sniffle. "Yes please" Nico makes his voice ten times lighter then normal. I laugh, finding an old hoodie of mine and throwing it in his face. "Hey!" He chuckles, bring his knee up to catch it. He pulls it on and walks over to me. "Come on, it is past your bedtime mister" He jokes patting me on the backside. I fake a gasp. "My bedtime? I have a bedtime?" I grab his shoulders. "Mhm, don't forget your naptime either" He leans up and kisses me. I let myself relax with his lips on mine, gently moving with him for a little bit. He pulls away. "Now no more avoiding, to bed with you" "I wasn't" "Yeah yeah shut it, bed" He says removing my hands from his shoulder. I sling my arms around his neck and tug him closer by it. "Mhm?" "You been up with me, so to bed with you too" I say. "That was the plan Honey" He mumbles letting me drag him to bed by his neck. As we tumble into bed together, Nico says something I don't quite catch. "What?" I ask, laying down on my side of the bed. Nico drags me into the middle and lays over me. "You are so" He bops my nose. "Cute" I feel a small blush come onto my already red cheeks. I pull the blanket over us. My eyes have grown very heavy and so it's no problem closing my eyes. "Jacey?" He mumbles "Mhm?"

"When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know"

#jasico #jason x nico #nico x jason #jason grace #nico di angelo #heros of olympus #hoo #thunderworld